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RunPeaceRun Archive

View 6 posts and 111 comments by RunPeaceRun on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It is hard when you describe things as there was no major fight, drama and so on. I had same. One random day I got informed by her with ted talk about she is unhappy, not want us anymore, wants to walk alone, do things that she enjoys. Next 5 days I begged, cried, she didnt even hesitate. Packed everything left. Been 4 months and she moved on so fast that lewis hamilton can’t even catch up. I didn’t know. I didn’t even have clue she was like this. I got abandoned. The safe happy zone I had in ou…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/26 11:35 PM
2

I wonder this too after 11 years going back to single.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/26 11:00 PM
1

Communication, counseling. Times might be hard lately and that could affect both of you mentally. Baby, change of life, expectations, responsibilities. dont rush on anything. You both might need a time off together without all these stress.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/26 12:12 AM
6

Read out loud what you wrote. Not once, twice maybe even more your trust is violated. Have respect to yourself first, you deserve to be with people who treats you better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/26 01:59 PM
2

Thank you so much for your words. I am preparing myself for having a goal and having a discipline that I never had before. 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/26 01:23 AM
3

Stay strong brother 🫂 Life is completely yours, and you can be, do whatever you want. You can turn that room something unrecognizable and enjoy. I know it is hard, I feel the same way in the flat I thought we will live and I worked so hard to “rent” a flat to make things possible. The fridge had our marriage photos and magnets, had to thrown. There was some her clothes left in dryer that I didn’t use as it is summer, and when I opened I cried on the floor as she left blindsided- packed everythin…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 08:26 PM
1

Everyone’s story is different. The way how people divorce is different. Internet is a place where ideologies influence. So there is no good or bad way. Do as how you feel like. Deleting, burning won’t change a thing. If your brain wants to remember a picture, it will remember. In my opinion, no need for drama, we have seen all. Explain her how do you feel about your decision and I believe at this age people shouldn’t jealous or feel dramatic on things. Life is short, we don’t know what tomorrow …
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/26 01:16 PM
1

Our story was I moved to foreign country for building life for us while she was having her mandatory internship. War started and she had to move another country as her company moved and so on. The plan was getting me to housing, finding better job and settling for good in here. During the time she settled her own in there and I had to change 3 companies because all of them got bankrupt, she became more independent, earning well and having a life there. I handled the housing in here, started to r…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/26 07:33 AM
7

Welcome to the club. Don’t jump on dates. I know you want to be seen and liked or want to test yourself. No need. If you get horny, wank it off. You were with someone quite long time, your brain, body were so used to some long routines. You thought you will live rest of your life and have maybe family with that person. So crush of this impacts us especially when she left blindsided. First step, Back to the basics, rebuilding yourself, getting used to be alone, detoxing. It is difficult for us to…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 08:52 AM
5

It sounded to me that both sides need to stop and relax for a moment. All I read and hear: money, money, money. No love, no affection, no talk about feelings. Do you even love each other or see other as money machines and whom makes more - less, saves more, spend less etc etc. Did you get marry because you both earn good and can buy house and so on? What do you feel when you lay down next to her? You are married for 13 years and I wonder what kept this marriage that long and why these things wer…
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/26 06:23 AM
3

10+ years, 5-6 TBs photos, videos. What can I filter and delete. She was in everything and everywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 11:56 PM
4

Stay strong brother. These are temporary times and when you find your path to build your own, you will feel better without being pushed in such toxic community. You can do it man. 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/26 10:59 PM
3

Sounds like you saved yourself before things could get much worse. First ask your embassy in Russia. They have lawyers and legal department, so they can help you. Best of luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/26 05:42 AM
2

Been in same boat. Hoping to wake up better one day
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/26 08:40 PM
–

Yes. I met when I was 21. Spent also my whole young age with her. I thought even world ends she wouldn’t leave me. She left me at my lowest. I was trying also to make her proud but she left after we were only married for 1,5 years together 11. We survived from war, pandemic, financial problems but yet she left. time to reborn
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/26 03:55 AM
2

it is our life now. our decision. do you wanna go to stripclub? go. do you want to hit some blackjacks? do. but don't lose your shit in there. Just remember you are the only one whom can save yourself. unfortunately our prev life is past. Don't forget, every ending thing is a start of another new thing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 08:50 PM
3

welcome to eu brother. We don't have AC and melting here. If you want to save another bro from deport let's get marry haha
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 08:48 PM
8

We are in same boat man. But we live to show ourselves what can we do. She dumped me after 11 years. Same week my work fired me, debt till my throat. Soon will be deported. BUT FUCK IT. It is our life, can be rebuilt. You are still same person who have spark in eye and will have stark if you allow.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/26 07:47 PM
4

Exactly man. I have no idea who is this woman. It’s been 2 months for me, first time I had video call 2 days ago. The face I looked that used to be the most beautiful, cute and warming face I ever seen in my life. But now her face shape, sharpness of the jaw and so on felt like sharp cutting object. I couldn’t control my emotions as I still carry the love, missing her. Meanwhile she was so straight, focused on moving on quickly so that she could feel relieved from her decision. It feels so sad t…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 11:48 AM
2

Exactly brother. You know, I know we need better job. I don’t need anyone to tell me that. We live with this fact and eventhough we work, we think we don’t deserve the be proud. No brother, you do your best with certain circumstances. Not everyone has same levels. McDonalds is also a job. I hate the fact many people thinks everyone must be a ceo to deserve happy marriage, life whatever. No. What I learned from my marriage is if she loved, we could live in a small village, middle of nowhere, and …
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 02:42 AM
4

I had been in same boat with you my man. I understand perfectly how financial and job situation effected you. I can read the low self confidence, energy and frustration. Unfortunately many layoffs and not having proper line in career ruin us. It changes your way of thinking, instead of taking her to dinner, you prefer maybe sitting at home and cooking. Instead of buying her nice things, you prefer to put food on the table. It is totally normal and human thing to do. What I don’t like in my marri…
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/26 01:58 AM
1

Wait until you fall once. I had no idea she was questioning our marriage. In November, I took out a large loan to renovate our flat and finally bring our families together after years of visa issues and war-related delays. At the same time, I was already struggling financially, health-wise, and working outside my field. The stress and depression changed me. I wasn’t the thoughtful, confident person I used to be. I told my STBXW I was struggling and trying to get help, then I lost three close peo…
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/26 02:32 PM
1

I guess it is a habit to check the social media. I am just in shock that I was keep loving and caring her for 11 years without any doubt. I feel like being pushed on not loving her and my brain was not even thinking such thing all these years. I don’t know how to do this. Everything happened so quick and fast that I was not expecting. We even had wonderful day before the day… I don’t understand her Ted talk she made and now can’t even talk or try to fix. She didn’t give even a chance for me. She…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/26 06:11 PM
2

No fight, no argument. I didn’t have even single signal about things are not good between us or I was not doing well etc. nothing. I was sinking and now feeling hit bottom and can’t get up yet
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 09:15 PM
3

I feel you man 🫂 Today I woke up with same feelings and wrote here too. I just want to tell you that you are not alone and many of us here with same words, feelings, seeing the ghosts and crying.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 06:27 AM
4

That’s what I had been told too. I didn’t give up on her when she was at her lowest point. I had everything when we met, good finance, good career path. Then I moved to foreign country to built a life for us while she built her own life and I ruined my years with shit jobs, changed career so many times to build in here a life for us. Same week she left I learned I will be unemployed at the end of autumn. I am just looking at outcomes now, I got debt, unstable job, lost spark in life, no hobbies …
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/26 06:02 AM
5

Let me be the devil once in this sub, spare some money aside, and throw on the spinning poles… Live the moment. Go to casino, spin some slots, feel some excitement on blackjack and live that day man. You need to steam off some of that tension. Then you can clearly see what you want for the rest of your life.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 07:45 AM
4

I agree. All the efforts, challenges, seeing that person one and only for many years and then it ends up to whole trauma. I want my 11 years back too. I was the one who sacrificed many things to make it. I lost my sparkle in my eyes and I don’t know whom to trust after all these years.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/26 12:50 AM
4

I took bank loan 20K in November, our families met and we had holiday. she left me in April. That checked out looks like was happening in a year. Then why the hell I took bank loan? Spent in holiday? Why the hell I killed myself till 2029? After she left I got traumatized, couldn’t even work. And woola… my company decided to lay off at the same week she left. My reality changed. I don’t know what I am doing since april, I dont know how to manage all.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 11:13 PM
3

I agree. Somehow I supposed to get telepathic signals as she was not happy and checking out. I was living like normal without single bad vibes at home till her ted talk and ending the marriage. Left me with lots of questions, I blame myself, thinking that I was not enough or spoilt. Eventually she gave up on me maybe took months - a year to checkout, but she did. It is so hard as men to “just” start to think about heartbreak, removing her presence, and killing the love that men had till d-day. I…
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/26 06:24 PM
3

I started gym after long time too. First day fucked my wrist tendon with light weight. 🫠 After heals I will be back I hope good again
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 09:03 PM
7

Communication is the key man. Because of our old marriage we act like sherlock holmes and of course afraid to be traumatized of trusting someone, opening up to someone. Totally can understand you as we want to be loved, cared and feel the warm of having someone. Just talk as 2 two adult that has seen many things in life. She might have also trauma from past and be cautious etc. No need to be in rush, or race just focus on yourself. After our old relationship I guess the only main outcome is we n…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 02:32 AM
2

2 months for me, it comes with waves. Some nights before sleep it hits hard and I cry every night. Sometimes during the day while doing random things it comes. It is the process I guess. Don’t think others now. You focus only to yourself, do what you need to do. As you said is temporary so just dont mind others atm
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/26 07:23 AM
1

I opened reddit crying in bed after checking socials and seeing she lives her life and moving on from me. It happened exactly like throwing a bomb on random saturday 1,5 month ago and 11 years vanished. I still can’t process. I can’t stop thinking about her, can’t feeling that I am living myself and alone. I was so much aligned to her frequency in these years that I gave up so much from myself and ofc I thought we wouldn’t break up as there were no signs. Looks like she was checking out while I …
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/26 02:51 AM
1

Are you british or foreign country citizen? First step, i hope in there you can get therapy. Because pills might be helpful to make your mind clear without anxiety and depression. After seeing clearly you need to think what can you do. Working at coffee shop or McDonalds also a work and can pay you. Maybe you will push to work in 2 jobs. I know it is hard to think, I know you can’t even have decisions but keeping your mental health safe is first priority. Second is financial stability. Location …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 03:07 AM
3

Yes exactly I feel the same. I couldn’t believe when she said it was really good times and she is happy that spent 1/3 life with me. Ummm… ok. In the end it didn’t mean anything. I feel like I waisted my years for nothing. I suffered, stressed in our relationship to build something better. I gave up so much on myself and didn’t focus on purely myself in those years. Now I don’t have stability. No career, no savings, debt, unhealthy body, no hobbies, no social life. I had all these before and was…
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/26 07:16 AM
5

That hurts yes. My problem was I trusted her with all my life that she wouldn’t leave like this after all we had so bad days in our lives ( deaths, war, financial problems etc). I didn’t care myself as I felt comfortable. Got weight, lost hair, lost that young spark that I had. Crash report of myself is so heavy that Idk how to repair myself, where to start. Too many battlefields to fight at once
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 04:03 PM
13

Yeap. Same as well that I got first ted talk, then she packed and left after 11 years. It was so blindsided that before the day we were at brunch and having so nice time. No fight, no yelling, no drama in 11 years. But she said she is unhappy and wants to live alone and seek happiness. I couldn’t stay silently and flew her to save our marriage after 2 weeks. She said she got so angry I flew, met with me as respect to 11 years. Saying she has no feelings anymore and wished me best, happy life etc…
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/26 04:16 AM
4

Thank you man. I hope I can find strength again to refill myself
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 05:44 AM
7

On random Saturday morning after breakfast. I didn’t know anything, didn’t think she is unhappy, didn’t even see. On Friday we were at brunch and laughing together and had city walk. Next day she said she wants to divorce and feeling unhappy in life. Don’t want to live together in a foreign city I moved for us. Didnt even give me a chance to move together somewhere else. Sudden, blindsided and still I am not myself for 7 weeks now. I don’t know how I can be myself
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/26 03:46 AM
1

Communication is the key. She might be so depressed that can’t even find energy to talk, seek help, or change things in her life. It is mental condition that many of us had and caused at some point our marriage. There were days I was just staring to ceiling and not do anything. Simple medications even change so crazily someone’s life that they feel a oxygen mask was needed to breath again and they didnt see they were suffocating.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 06:59 PM
7

Talk, therapy. You won’t get all the pussies of the world if you break up, especially not with that mind set. Don’t lose yourself to social media and it’s effects.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 10:18 PM
4

🫂
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:31 AM
2

It has been a month for me and I get so angry these weeks. The reason for me is she left blindsided. Made her talk, said respect my decision and that’s it. We didn’t have any fight or anything. She just said she wants to do things make her feel good and energetic. She made her reasoning, made her conscious okay and check out way before months. Meanwhile I got nuked in one day as before the day we eere laughing, going brunch and having even nice time. So of course I got traumatized from the news.…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/26 02:13 AM
2

Of course man. I got traumatized. Whatever reasons they say don’t matter because I know my weaknesses and flaws. It felt like she chose to not care me, that fact hits me so hard. If I die now she wouldn’t even notice or hear for some time. She chose this. I was and would ready to her worst day, but she chose me to leave at my worst stage - shit loads of debt, fucked up career due to sacrifices for our marriage, got fat, bald, gave my all young ages to her. Then she dropped me in 1 day, listened …
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/26 04:09 AM
3

Congrats man. Fill that house with your wish and style 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/26 04:07 PM
2

I changed the position of furniture and got carpet, paintings, installed new lamps. This way I see her ghost really less. Removed every photo at home, threw to trash whatever left from her. Put some stuffs to internet to sell. about second thing I don’t know. She also indirectly made me feel like weak, lazy, fat and so on. I go gym, go to swim naked, read book, plan my career and so on. I can’t think or know how to date / sleep yet as tinder was not even launched when I got in relationship. I do…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 06:32 PM
3

Good luck man. You will have amazing adventures from now on
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 11:21 AM
3

She told me she got so angry that I showed up randomly flying. Saying that she felt I came there to manipulate her and doesn’t respect her decision of leaving. Then said she met me out of respect of 11 years. That made me feel so sad. I didn’t do anything to make her be that angry, or didn’t even interfere her life. She always did what she liked and didn’t sacrifice any plans or days for me. I felt so shattered that person I love till that day saying these and calling me manipulative. What I am …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:47 AM
5

It feels sad to be the one who wants to keep fighting, trying to communicate. Meanwhile other person just runs with flamethrowers. After my stbxw made the ted talk, I lived in shock. Couldn’t do anything when she packed everything in one day and left. After 2 weeks I got plane tickets to talk and show that I still care a lot. She said it is over, doesn’t have any energy or will for me after 11 years of being together every single day. No fight, no yelling, no drama nothing we ever had. Worst par…
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 07:19 AM
9

We got traumatized. Person we deeply cared and loved for many years left us with Ted talk. We were doing daily things while they were checking out. Therapy and gym. That’s the only answer I have and doing so or starting to do so 🥲
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/26 06:28 AM
2

I know that feeling of them having one foot out. I worked so hard to built a life for us that I was trying to make her come here. 11 years I had always a thought that she might leave one day. Married 1,5 year ago and I thought okay I can no longer have that fear. I was ultimately wrong. I moved to another country to build better life for us. Always carried the heavy responsibility on my shoulders that I need to create, make things so she could easily move. How silly I was to carry all the burden…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:27 AM
2

I agree. Since my life changed in one night, I started to read here and spend time in reddit. It helps me so much that feeling I am not alone with same feelings. Many of ours life changed in one day while we were not even seeing its coming. While they were processing and grieving inside, we were just doing our daily things. That’s why it feels so heavy to catch up their progress. We need to find out who are we again, we need to do things that we choose to do. I feel exactly same as you OP. I nev…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 01:07 AM
1

Thanks man appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 09:57 PM
2

Thanks man, I appreciate a lot 🫂❤️
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 09:19 PM
3

Thank you for sharing with us 🫂 We all are same boat with you mate. 5 weeks ago my 11 years of marriage ended. day by day we will make it. There is no other option
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 06:29 PM
2

I usually never had dreams but since five weeks I see her and try to talk, try to convince, etc. waking up full head sweat. We had been together 11 years. ( I am 31) I was having simple normal life 5 weeks ago, had wife, work, some enjoyment in life, security. As you mentioned most importantly stability. It feels she threw me to water, I don’t know how to swim and water is ocean not a pool. thank you so much for your words. It means a lot 🫂❤️
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 09:44 PM
3

Thank you man. I am trying my best to deal day by day
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 09:22 PM
2

I am in a country that I don’t speak the language. Only my native and English. Tunnel is dark and I can’t see the end now of course. Some days are so hard to take step in tunnel
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:12 PM
2

Thank you so much for telling all these 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:11 PM
7

She left, next week my work said we will fire you. Following week my permit to stay in this foreign country went down to 1 year. In case if I want to stay here I need to find job in 1 year after 7 years of residence… Her company sends letters for me to sign as husband and sale some company shares. My chest feels so tight that I can feel my ribs. 5 weeks ago my life was something else. I didn’t know she would leave, no fight nothing. Blindsided. Now dealing with full shits. I don’t know how I wil…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 12:55 PM
5

Thank you for sharing this man 🫂 needed it
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 11:26 AM
4

I was wearing when she packed everything, went to airport. Then I saw she removed. It crushed my reality of marriage as she didnt do anything to save it. Just blindsided ended, left
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/26 05:21 AM
3

Thank you for sharing with us. I also ruminate a lot, mostly because I feel so guilty for not keeping my marriage. I glorify her a lot, I have been always admiring her anyway. I can’t stop this in my brain. What we had was special after 11 years bounding and never had even single fight. Same way I am not feeling the same idea that how it will be possible to learn & love new person. Will I compare and try to seek same synchronization? What if I can’t stop my brain doing those… Hard thoughts and f…
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/26 02:32 PM
3

Needed this 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 09:44 PM
3

Lived by sword, died by sword. We all know our scars and how it happened 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 05:38 PM
3

We are here together with you bro 🫂 Let your feelings happen, cry and let it go. Don’t check Instagram, Tiktok. Their algorithm will be immediately sad and on this topic. Don’t look and torture yourself. Read reddit, write here. After days of crying you will be able to use your energy to yourself “only”. Use it, shape your days, weeks, months and your life
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 07:24 AM
1

I feel you brother. I feel you deeply. Communication is the only answer. Sit, have wine, deep talks, serious questions, expressing feelings, if you have dead bed room, talk the elephant in the room. my STBX wife never talked, never mentioned she is unhappy, questioning her life, wants and interests, future plans. But looks like she have been doing all year and so while I am folding laundry, making food, thinking where we will go this summer, how will arrange finance… One day she sit, made the TE…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:57 AM
3

Thank you so much I really needed. Worked hard to rent a flat myself ( living in hard core rental market city) that I thought where we will live… Waited her to help for choosing things for the flat, lived alone for months without carpet, curtains, lamps and everything while hoping she will be free and we would choose… she never did, told while leaving me that she doesn’t like the city where I worked my ass off to make living, doesn’t feel like it is also her flat… After 1 month she left me, toda…
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/26 12:37 AM
2

Bailed. Gave up on me. At my lowest point of my life she decided to not help, work together. She left me with debt, trauma, same week my work decided to fire me. She left me in the flat that I tried to setup for her in foreign country. Sat, talked, left in one day after 11 years. Why did we get married, why you make me to dream our future till that day, why no fight, why no yelling. Just left and I am sitting now in a flat that supposed to fill with our memories.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 06:52 PM
3

Most of us including me having same experience, same feelings that you are having right now. I am on my 4th week. Today I felt like my 11 years of hardworking is just a waste. I didn’t need a fucking experience after 11 years meanwhile I was having hard time in life what was giving quite experience. I can’t believe she gave up on me, removed me so easily that she is already ready to move on. She said she is so grateful that lived 1/3 of her life with me and now she needs to walk alone. I don’t f…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/26 01:23 AM
2

Communication, what you want in life and feeling that you can’t picture her in there? I can feel you that you hold your decisions or sacrificed for her. It is normal. But being together and walking on same path matters. Your wishes, her wishes, desires need to be talked and communication solves all
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 02:15 PM
6

Time to lock in. Build your financial freedom, take care the kids. You have 10+ years to try, fail and try again. You won’t get dates because they will accept 2 kids, you will be yourself and stability you created will make you live your life and meet new people. 20 years from now your kids will be adult and still you be 44 and be well established in life
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/26 12:00 AM
1

Amen brother 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 11:15 PM
1

Forgiveness happens in both sides. You tried to rebuild, feared to lose her, lived your life while putting her to center of everything after your event. What happened is happened, we can’t change past and we are all human with mistakes. She made her own choice, neither you are same person after you changed, nor she is the same person. Of course the way you decided to forget and move on on your mistake is not easy to see same way in her example. Cultural and the way you grow up can change how you…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 03:18 PM
15

I was folding laundry, making breakfast, cleaning the house, thinking where should we go on weekend. She sat, made the ted talk, used exact wording “ finding herself, her wants from life, what gives her energy in life, what makes her happy” she ended 11 years of being together in one day. I got emotionally destroyed, begged 5 days to at least let’s talk, discuss and make common efforts. Nah. She said it is her final decision. I slept 5 days next to her while thinking will her decision change or …
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 02:52 AM
1

You need to be far away from she. I don’t know much about law, but if you can take kids with you that would be the best. I am sorry that you need to deal all these now. Big hug
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:44 AM
1

We feel you man 🫂 Life is strange as maybe you read my story in there that my wife also left me 3 weeks ago but no fight, no yelling nothing. I did everything I could, got smaller in her eyes as I begged, cried, and tried to talk at least to speak mutually. But no. She left blindsided and I live with the fact that 11 years just vanished. I know how you felt small, thinking no one will ever accept our difficulties. In this last 3 week there were days I just want to lay down next to her like 3 wee…
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:33 AM
8

Time to lock in. Focus on yourself. It is her loss
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 12:19 AM
1

It is difficulty to detach in same time and stop the love & care I hold in for years. That’s the pain. One day she is the future, next day she is gone. I slowly started to think as you said what I couldn’t do. First thing in my mind is the flat I live that needs to be filled and decorated. It is somewhat relieving to read here, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 10:53 PM
1

Thank you, it means a lot while reading these before sleep. 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 09:31 PM
2

I guess good part is my flat is still half empty. We were supposed to decorate and get things. She confessed that she didn’t feel like it is our home and didn’t like to move. That’s why didn’t initiate any home decorations or choosing even a carpet. I feel like I need to change this flat to something way different and feels like something I own.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 09:08 PM
3

Knowing we are on same feelings on same thoughts make me feel better, thank you man 🫂
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 08:59 PM
2

You deserve your peace and happiness. I am happy for you man ❤️
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:08 PM
6

Keep your fire and remember how she left. You have a chance to reborn. Imagine you would live without knowing she has affair and you are still working for her. Now only your kids matter in your life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 06:06 PM
6

Thank you for sharing with us. It gives me strength in these fresh grief.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/26 01:18 AM
5

Congrats man. We all sacrificed our priorities to loved ones. I postponed my own things when needed time to focus and also pass exams, change job. I used all my free time to her meanwhile she focused on her individual wellbeing when need. I never planned solo holidays but she did when I was working night shifts whole weeks. Thank you for sharing us, it shows how important to focus ourselves and do the things we must at first stage of healing.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 10:47 PM
1

That breaks me too. She was getting ready to glow and be free while I was fighting with depression. I feel like only my mom can love me and it is like obligatory…
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:42 PM
5

In my story I didn’t know she was questioning her life and wants. One day sit and ended 11 years of being together. She didn’t let us to talk about struggles, problems. She just left and asks people to respect her decision. After 2 weeks I couldn’t stand waiting with confused mind and flew to her, she said it is final and soon will arrange papers. No fight, no yelling, nothing. Worst part is she learned my language, my culture and after 3 weeks of leaving she went to hiking with group of people …
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 08:40 PM
2

I was dating when dating apps were newly launched. It is quite difficult to breathe being single again
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:56 PM
1

How to stop inner conscience that keeps blaming myself? Every day is different battle for me. Especially when she left blindsided it makes myself question and feel myself weak.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:55 PM
14

Jesus I am so old. What the hell is even AWDTSG… I was questioning myself a lot in process of divorce and I feel like I am doomed
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/26 06:45 PM
1

I feel so weak. The person I chose to live my life with decided that I am not her choice anymore. We both from different countries and cultures. All these years I showed her my life, she loved, learned my language, listened my music, ate my food and I feel so lost after syncing that much she said she doesn’t have energy for our marriage. I moved to another country to build our life in here, while she moved to another country due to war. I tried so hard to build something but it didn’t work well.…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 10:34 PM
4

I felt like I am reading my own story that happened 3 weeks ago. We had wonderful breakfast and was thinking where you go on Saturday, she sit and said all these things you also heard. No sign no fight before, and boom. 11 years old relationship is over in one day, wrapped quickly and she traveled to my own country to hiking and camping. Meanwhile I sit in shock for weeks. My family loved her like their daughter. They are devastated after 11 years having nice relationship with her too. I feel li…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 05:33 PM
1

Same. I was not watching football aka soccer for years. I started watching, not going out. I was watching also for connecting my dad, sports are the thing we only talk.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/26 12:13 PM
1

While I was happily living my days I didn’t know she was questioning her life and her wants in life. When she told me I was still deeply loving and planning our summer. It is so hard to accept, not text or call. I feel like I lost her without defending myself, trying to change or save things. She decided, informed, I got forced to accept. I loved her, my family loved her and now everything is just a grief. I visited my parents and staying with them, their happiness turned to mourning. Worst feel…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 09:29 PM
2

We feel you man. It is hard to process while you weren’t questioning or still in love. Same as well hoping it will be easier in time
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 04:20 PM
2

That type of cause would turn me also to anger and not feel anything. Unfortunately for us she said she doesn’t have energy for us, and saying we are two different person with different hobbies after all these years. I moved new country for our family and tried to create better life in here. Well it took longer than expected and she says it is late and we dont have financial and living permit security to have kids etc. therefore she wants to move her own road.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 03:32 PM
4

These are essentials. But please and please always have full honest communication. LDR can’t go longer than you planned. Sure, have nice hook ups, have physical connections which I guess important after divorce but having a “relationship “ is way different level. Your previous marriage is not fully done, so just don’t get confused with filling the care and affection of your ex wife vs caring and showing affection to new life - people. Full communication, talking about expectations from each othe…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 01:05 AM
6

As a wounded long distance relationship-marriage veteran. My first words are don’t invest on long distance if you can’t be in same city / house / tent whatever in maximum 6 months. I fully understand people who moves on and meeting new people but I need to be honest that LDR is a suffering that causing 2 separate life and lots of money. Missing feelings are high, motivation is something that needs to be keep up all the time. Because while your life goes on other person also builds life in other …
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/26 12:37 AM
3

Maybe having a time to do things you sacrificed or postponed because of marriage and kids. For me it was travel and making own plans.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 11:04 PM
6

Thats exactly how it happens. In my marriage I had zero signs of unhappiness or knowing she is questioning. One day sit, talked and informed me that 11 years of being together is end. She didnt give any chance to work, talk or communicate of our struggles.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 06:52 PM
3

We are on same boat in here with you. I am having same questions and feeling last 2 weeks. In my case she is dedicated and doing no contact hardcore. She talked and left in 1 day. There were no signs. I was still in love till that day. We made our last talk couple of days ago with my request and she said it is over and was solid. She finished 11 years of relationship like this. You must follow your feelings. It is hard for both sides. If things will work out it will work out together and collect…
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 06:50 PM
2

3rd person is irrelevant. Love and marriage thing are like drug. When you cut, it gives same addiction crises and people wants back. Therefore I cant judge her panic or rush to feel the gap after you. No need to focus on them anymore. Focus yourself man.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 06:44 PM
2

Keep doing all these steps. If you focus on her new personality and how it feel toxic, it will be much easier I guess. She is not your responsibility anymore. Make it end, then start to healing.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 06:22 PM
3

All these signs show that she is not the same person you fall in love. She felt and realized it is hard to replace your love and care. I feel like all these attempts are because of that empty feeling. Focus your life man.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/26 05:30 PM
3

I am sorry to hear that man. Therapy and lawyer what you need. Don’t drink, don’t get physical. We are here on same boats with you so sail with us
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/26 06:41 PM
2

Moved another country, studied master here without any financial support. I worked in every type of job during studies then to stay I got stuck in my current job. All these made me feel trapped and no one saved me. I couldn’t afford gifts, going out. I know not everything is financial, I could do simple gestures but I like to take care of people and not being able to do that also killed my creativity.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 09:44 PM
1

I agree. I’m constantly blaming myself as my low mood and depression lead to this.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 09:23 PM
3

Same boat with you. One step at a time.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 04:33 PM
2

I feel you man. I feel also as not established adult. 5 years waiting debt, no career, no self confidence left. I don’t know who am I anymore. I was already exhausted and noticed myself. But her leaving hurts a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/26 01:31 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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