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Scubastyles Archive

View 4 posts and 69 comments by Scubastyles on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

She this. She that. Read / listen to the books in the sidebar with focus on NNMG, WISNFF. They will answer your foundational problems.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/22 02:40 PM
3

Thanks for the insight, message received. I got so fuckin fat that I have only educated myself / focused on cutting. Currently I value the look more than the weight - but I feel the eminent gains plateau. Sex life details were indeed scant, as it had been non-existent. It had been weaponized until I “deal with my anger issues.” I stopped approaching for like 2 weeks - cutting has affected my sex drive. But I approached this morning and had worthy participation. I was way in my own head. I’m not …
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/19 09:40 PM
1

that age and kid info is buried in there somewhere. I'm 28, she's 27, and our daughter is 3. I've become indifferent in the past few weeks. I don't have real answers to your questions other than there's no true excitement to see me. I'm not doing a whole lot to pull her - i'm currently trying to like her again.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 11:50 PM
1

Thanks for typing all of that out. I do have one kid and she's 3. There's a lot to process there but i think i get the point. Go have fun, be spontaneous, and push my family beyond their comfort zone.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 11:46 PM
1

I have a number of questions but I will do as you have said. I think you're right though and I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone in this approach. Other guys have said to provide drama - well with the current state of my union, setting boundaries to generally shitty behavior will indeed insight some drama. I've re-read the post about a girl with 'mental illness' and tying that back what you're saying helps connect some dots. I have enabled / justified some shitty-ness on her end because "she's got a…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 11:42 PM
2

Holy shit, thank you. You can take a picture of me as the face of a Dancing Monkey MRPer. I wish I had read that a year ago. I’m struggling with real “alpha.” I’ll be reading those blue links from your post. I am a people pleaser and the stench permeates
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 08:31 PM
4

Thanks for this. I see what you mean by an exercise in OI. But I honestly feel I run a tight ship because it’s what I like. I don’t do it for her. I think my frustration stems from polarity. As in, with me being the plow horse for the day to day house-making - I feel stuck in a beta activities. Typing this out makes your response resonate. I have to change the way I view my responsibilities
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 07:55 PM
2

Thanks again. Reading and re-reading everything you guys have said. I have some work to do.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 07:45 PM
3

I’m out of manna!
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 05:55 PM
3

Ok I’m with you. Very negative frame of mind. It’s like kids at the pool - you don’t say “don’t run.” You say “walk” Thank you sir. I do have what I want.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:40 PM
3

I appreciate it BobbyP. I do get hung up on the owning my shit without internalizing frustrations. If I voice them doesn’t that mean I’m putting my shit onto other people? I started responding above and as I type I feel the ONEitis and covert contract hang ups. I have a plate but it’s on a toothpick and hardly actionable.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:36 PM
2

Much obliged Chuck, noted. I attempt to influence those around me positively but quickly enter a passive state when I get home to a curmudgeon. I am being a receiver. Time to transmit
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:32 PM
2

|You can only ride that train so many times before it goes off the rails. That hits me in the gut. I’ve been the damn proud conductor of that train. In the interest of full disclosure- I am fucking scared to create drama in my house. Which, as I type, I learn that is a huge problem. I will apply and report back. I’m definitely mildly boring
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:29 PM
2

Thanks Reach. Totally understand what you’re saying. What’s gets me going? Fuck idk- I’m reading the Superior Male and trying to find my deepest purpose. Right now I lean towards coaching and teaching young men but how deep is that? I’ve been caught up in making a living and not making a life. Took the fam on a trip this past weekend but my energy could have been better. I think I need to lighten up
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:23 PM
4

Thank you Johnny Yessir- I’ve been heavy on the cutting. Time to start the bulk No D&D for me but fuck if I’m not down to play. On the Cognitive behavioral therapy tip: professional help or did you explore solutions on your own? On what changed: I think I expected more of a response -Covert contract. I wasn’t this fit when I was having that 3month marathon sex at the beginning. Definitely need to get out more. Lacrosse season starts 3/1 so I’ll be out - lax moms always want to talk which has got…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/02/19 04:18 PM
9

I think the issue resides in your lol's and haha's man
/r/askMRP17/03/17 02:20 AM
1

This was awesome. I find myself seeing an enemy combatant when she's just looking for comfort. I just recognized how bad the attitude gets for my chick when she wants comfort. I don't need to get frustrated when she's asking me 'why would a coaches meeting take 2 hours!?' For a while the response was 'Jesus man. It's a coaches meeting.' Now it's more along the lines of 'Ah, the damn strippers were late,' with a kiss on the forehead. She's just trying to be 1st Team All-Ball Washer
/r/askMRP20/02/17 05:51 PM
1

My man, I just want to shake you right now because you are me. Strangely similar situations. I'm glad you found this place before fatherhood really kicks off. I used to think the same thing. How do I get that affection back? How do I get that sex back? I'll do whatever it takes. I thought that way for a year 'n change and things didn't get better. The positive change came when I actually internalized that I was improving for myself and my kid - the sex and affection is not the goal but merely a …
/r/askMRP05/01/17 02:07 AM
1

The guys who've responded to this have their shit together. I'm getting there but remember this dilemma, as it wasn't long ago. Not everything is a shit test - just ask yourself 'if the roles were reversed, would I call her a spiteful bitch for not handing me the remote?' U/BogeyD hipped me to how throwing your chick a bone every once in a while can change things. Hand her the remote because you want to. You and only you can start the positive loop in your relationship because it exists within y…
/r/askMRP30/12/16 01:59 AM
1

Plan. Be consistent His heads probably spinning. I know mine was. I thought planning / consistency and unpredictability / attractiveness were mutually exclusive. Wrong.
/r/askMRP26/12/16 12:43 AM
1

New to this? By STFU I mean exactly that. Explain less, do more, and ask for permission never. The real value of STFU comes in when you're wife is giving you shit. If you've fallen for her shit attitudes for years - the quickest way to be 'unpredictable' would be to STFU instead of stooping to her level Hope that helps; read about this - it will change the world around you. Happy holidays
/r/askMRP26/12/16 12:31 AM
1

I don't think there's a silver bullet man but basically stop being the way you've been. Simply shutting the fuck up is the building block.
/r/askMRP25/12/16 10:53 PM
3

Oh the road ahead of me. Funny how anxiety rears its ugly head a whole lot less since establishing a frame and leading. I'm learning that a solid frame is the key in dealing with her anxiety though. I can lead to the end of the earth and she could still feel anxious but I don't know that I can 'lead' her out of that; so I just let her bitch it out. Enlighten me?
/r/askMRP16/12/16 05:54 AM
2

If you can afford 3 get 3 - unless, of course, you're dying to go see the orchestra. If that's the case, you can frame it like " WE are going to...." I think you're on it though. Outcome Independence in regards to her reaction. You know it'll sting your ego when she doesn't jump for joy so anticipate that and remain OI.
/r/askMRP13/12/16 03:10 PM
5

Why are you so mad at your wife man? Does she suck that bad? Awalt but there's a reason you picked that one. It's like she's your arch nemesis. Not hating; you're doing better than me in many ways but Stan why are you so mad? You had me laughing at the 'Fucking bitch' comment
/r/askMRP12/12/16 09:18 PM
2

And the plot thickens
/r/askMRP12/12/16 05:30 PM
2

Well shit. I didn't win anything. Thanks for pointing me to that
/r/askMRP12/12/16 05:21 PM
3

I feel like I just read about my weekend. Except yesterday, just before a 3 hr. drive she throws a pack of wipes at my face. I raised my eyebrows, laughed, and then calmly said 'dont ever do that again.' She pouted like a child and sat in the back seat with the baby. Great, I'll listen to the skins game in peace. After an hour of silence she tries to come sit in the front seat and I say 'front seats are for big kids only.' She calls me all sorts of names and stays in the back seat. Idk if that w…
/r/askMRP12/12/16 04:46 PM
4

Men are like tigers https://youtu.be/zFKWzPrNclw (2 mins)
/r/MarriedRedPill12/12/16 02:58 PM
3

Yea that's scary shit. My kids not old enough to comprehend such antics but in the event, how does one handle that?
/r/askMRP11/12/16 05:17 PM
5

It's easy for me to say from the arm chair brother. You'll get there. Go lift heavy!
/r/askMRP11/12/16 04:13 PM
10

I guess I wasn't clear. Your mistake wasn't throwing the soup away; the soup is fucking irrelevant. Your mistake was going ballistic. She used your son to make you feel guilty and you fell for it like a pussy. Yea, that's all you my man. Should've shut the fuck up and whipped up something better than soup for your boy; while never acknowledging her bullshit woman manipulation
/r/askMRP11/12/16 04:06 PM
6

Dude she set you up for the freakout. I've been there before. What worked for me was owning my mistake, apologizing once without over doing it and without justifying why I freaked out - there's no justification for entering her frame. Take a breath, own your mistake, and carry on your day in a positive manner. This isn't the end all be all
/r/askMRP11/12/16 03:33 PM
2

Yea man, she's testing your resolve. Hold strong. My ltr will compliment my physical improvements and simultaneously bake cookies; that I won't eat. It seems fucked up but they don't even know they're doing it; awalt I suppose. Hold strong.
/r/askMRP10/12/16 02:55 PM
3

You should read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. While not sidebar material, it's good stuff and got me through a tough time pre-MRP. The book outlines 4 Agreements you make with yourself to become the best you. Be Impeccable with your word Don't take anything personally Don't make assumptions Always do your best I'd also add that judging others is only a reflection of your relationship with yourself. Same goes for those who judge you - fuck em man. They're living in their dream world so …
/r/askMRP08/12/16 03:15 PM
3

Good on ya man. Life begins at the edge of our comfort zone
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/16 02:46 PM
2

You'll get there man; with or without her. Eventually it starts to click and you'll see everything for what it is. Keep reading and lifting heavy. You're beginning an awesome journey.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/12/16 01:14 AM
1

You're emotional right now; process the true source of your anger - it's probably your own cognitive dissonance or lack of action. Once you have you won't be mad at her for being a woman. Then handle the shit without of being the Fuhrer of the checkbook. Everyone's ripping and going to rip you because you didn't do anything to handle this situation - I think you can be better than this post indicates.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 04:39 PM
1

To apply this to life, everyday has its slack tolerance threshold? I like this idea. Like you said, 'fuck it and start over' can help you reframe and get your day back on track - or tank it completely; up to us
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 04:07 PM
6

Thanks for this. Hadn't thought about the compounding interest negativity charges you. The saying 'watch your pennies and your dollars will count themselves ' comes to mind. As in, your pennies are the little decisions that you'd usually step right over. If you bend down and pick 'em up, before you know it you have a dollar - I.e. a successful day I've begun making my bed every morning to start the day with a small accomplishment and build on that
/r/MarriedRedPill30/11/16 02:56 PM
7

This is good stuff. This is why it's so important to have other shit to do. If your plan was to clean the garage but you decide to initiate; then she stonewalls you, it's easy to have OI because you already had a plan. Expressing this plan and then trying to initiate keeps me from being perceived as butt hurt: Me: Im going to clean the garage but damn... (Initiate confidently) Her: Stoooop! I'm doing the baby's laundry (hard no) Me: Your loss, what we were gonna do was way more fun than laundry.…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 03:44 PM
2

Thanks man. Any perceived patience or wisdom was established through reading here though. I was a whiney bitch. I love squats and dead lifts because I swear shit tests are easier after those lifts. So easy that they've turned to the occasional comfort test and I fucking botch them. Funny you say that about AM and daughters. If my daughter is fussing I'll tease and mock her; 9/10 times she ends up laughing and the demeanor changes. It's crazy to see that dynamic in something I created.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/16 02:01 PM
1

I appreciate it. I was indeed pathetic
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/16 11:39 PM
1

You'd have to ask her. I used to beg for that answer; it ultimately led me here. Not sure if it was because she got pregnant after 3 months of dating or she was just saying the thought of sex with me was gross and scary. Probably the latter
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/16 05:54 AM
1

Dually noted. Now that the cats out of the bag, I need to diversify my tool belt. On the hunt for material
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/16 02:07 AM
1

Kinda hard to follow my man but it seems like you're way further along than me. Shit, I need updates from you! Ive only had three sexually successful days But seriously, you can PM me if you need someone to bounce shit off of. Fuck it, let's go to the Looney bin together
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:57 AM
1

Thanks man. I dont know if it's been will power or just being a pussy for a long time. Thanks for that tip. I tried it tonight and didn't get laid but still acting and feeling as if the deal is already sealed took any angst of possible denial away.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:39 AM
1

Thanks bogey. The truths you mentioned have just recently begun to click with me. I can see the intricacies and nuances work - finally work for me and not against me. The bone I threw her has made her a way better first mate as of late. We're finally sailing in the same direction.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:35 AM
1

You know, I'm glad you asked because I hadn't given it thought. But shooting from the hip - to avoid complacency I'll keep lifting, leading, and reading. I'll report back when I have more ground to stand on Yea it's been a long year for me my friend. But I only had myself to blame and that's why I've chosen to tough it out. Had I left, I wouldn't have seen my daughter as much as I would deem necessary to be the influence she needs. For the first 6-8 months i was just going through the motions an…
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:13 AM
1

recommend any reading material on this?
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:09 AM
1

Thanks man. Ego definitely not completely deflated. Working on that though, trying to stay above 'thought' in response to denial has helped
/r/MarriedRedPill24/11/16 02:09 AM
7

Truth. I still seek validation. You the man TFA
/r/MarriedRedPill23/11/16 05:54 PM
6

Sorry about your Dad, friend. In regards to him being the man, isn't it funny how we can have such awesome and inherently alpha role models and still end up in the beta trap? I'm in the boat you were in, my Dad's the most integrated / congruent guy I know. I missed the memo, until MRP slapped me with it. Great post
/r/MarriedRedPill18/11/16 04:41 AM
1

I see what you mean. I want to be the best father, partner, leader that I can be and to have a fulfilling sex life. she's only awesome when I'm awesome. So leaving because she sucks only means I suck
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 04:23 PM
1

I see what Screechhater is saying about my post but it isn't indicative of the guidance I seek. I don't want to cut and run, I want to lead my family like so many in this sub. Your earlier reply is true
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 04:18 PM
1

Thanks man. Will do, it's gut check time for me
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 06:58 AM
1

I take it you think I should cut my losses?
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 06:46 AM
0

Absolutely. I need to actually finish the sidebar. We're not married though. I've just been here for my kid
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 06:38 AM
1

Value from her presence? She's solid. Good attitude, great mom, good career. I want to win. It's my fault I'm here and I need to get myself out - one way or the other. I know the world is abundant but I don't like quitting
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/16 06:27 AM
1

Thanks a lot. Since this terrible post we've teamed up and cut the gluten. The sugar is a struggle for her but so far she has had less joint pain by simply eliminating grains
/r/MarriedRedPill18/10/16 06:56 PM
1

I was trying to avoid sounding as though I thought she was a 'special snowflake' who would never lie to me. I absolutely do not think she's lying about a lupus diagnosis to avoid having sex with me. None the less, your comment is accurate about my self absorbed nature. Working on it, I'm there for her and my daughter above all.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/16 07:32 PM
1

She'll flirt and be sexually playful. Flash me, straddle me, grab my junk. I typically act un-phased but when I do respond with an attempt at taking it further she pulls away. She's going through a lot and I've been undeniably unattractive/immature. I empathize but what really fucked me up was the post on MRP about how empathy doesnt keep the flame going in ltr's. I took that the absolute wrong way and failed a comfort test - I guess I didn't think I had reached that point yet
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/16 07:20 PM
2

Taking her word for it. Hard pressed to think she'd lie about it, although possible. Taking her to see a specialist next week
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/16 06:08 PM
1

Thank you. And I do apologize for lumping you or anyone else in; poor attempt at humor. Either way, you're right. I'm moving forward and have made amends for my weak ass behavior yesterday. I'm better than that and my family deserves better than I've been. Thanks again for the truth
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/16 05:49 PM
-4

Sampson thank you. I'm a fucking child
/r/MarriedRedPill13/10/16 12:36 AM
-2

Fuck me. What a faggot I've become. I think I'm gonna go punch myself in the nose a few times
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 11:55 PM
0

Yeah, I've been a piece of shit about it when you put it that way. Not to mention the hashimoto's thyroiditis she developed post pregnancy. I guess I need to move on or let/help her deal with this and do my thing. Its self talk at this point. Thanks man
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 11:53 PM
1

I haven't tried or done enough. Basically I've hit the gym and become a narcissist. I pass shit tests by refusing entertain her emotional 'trash' and remaining playful as much as possible I've begun taking a real estate class and will be coaching lacrosse in the spring. That is my 'mission'. I discipline my daughter within reason, try to lead by example, and keep a cool head (a big hurdle for me) She's hangs all over me and will grab my junk but as soon as I try my hand she gets all indignant. T…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 11:21 PM
-1

No doubt. Appreciate the realness. I didn't mention that the biggest improvement came from passing the shit tests. Struggling with dread game for sure; probably two months into dread level 3. Working on my mission. Thanks again Jeezy
/r/MarriedRedPill12/10/16 11:06 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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