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SelectionNo3078 Archive

View 6 posts and 847 comments by SelectionNo3078 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

Absolutely part of the story of my marriage and divorce With the women I’ve been involved with since then I have a simple main focus: Enjoy the time we spend together Avoid expectations and Avoid becoming enmeshed It’s unlikely (but not impossible) that I will cohabit or marry again But…I’m 55 and only 1 year divorced after a 2 year separation where I was mostly not involved with any women.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/25 07:50 PM
6

It’s a business opportunity for sure
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/25 08:55 PM
1

This. My post divorce women have been people met IRL You can tell when they like you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/25 12:54 AM
6

For sure. It always takes two but my wife’s negative choices and actions were quiet and passive while mine were loud and chaotic Her greatest mistake was shutting down communication and honesty about where her heart was which pushed me to make worse and worse choices while struggling with depression and anger
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/25 01:27 PM
5

Yes Industry needs so much regulation and reform But since majority of legislators are attorneys that will never happen
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/25 12:18 PM
5

if you entertain anything with the rebounding ex it needs to be explicitly casual. she's already proven her immaturity and willingness to soothe her emotional issues with some strange D
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/25 12:30 AM
4

This explains why women are more interested in me when I have a gf.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 01:45 PM
1

55m. I think I pass about 5-8 years younger than I am I’ve met ladies IRL and it seems most of the ones inside 10 years are interested. I would be open to a lady in her mid-late 30’s but generally expect to need someone inside 10 years to have the same, uh, touch points. You know. Culturally and whatnot.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 06:37 PM
0

Nah. GF is immature. Assuming the gift is a card and something small.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 10:46 PM
1

Don’t let her insecurity and immaturity hurt your relationship with your kids or your ex.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 10:45 PM
2

Keep going out. Alone if you have to Being around people is social and will help Bonus points being that eventually you’ll find new friends in the places you go
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 05:50 PM
-2

Nothing wrong with getting a card and small gift for mother of your children Your GF is insecure and this will be a continuing problem
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 03:24 PM
1

Yes. I’ve met the two ladies I’ve dated at a music festival and an art opening If I’m out and about having fun you just sort of meet people and as several have said it’s kind of obvious that they like you and are open to a date
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 03:17 PM
2

Still wrong. Many long marriages over years before they’re over That said. It was a year and a half after separation before I met the first one
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 01:15 AM
3

I’m in my 2nd relationship post divorce and I’d bet my ex has none. But that doesn’t mean I wasn’t invested in my marriage And I’m still very much in love with my ex and would drop everything if she said she wanted to talk and would consider reconciliation Life is short and if she doesn’t want me-someone will. And if she ever changes her mind about leaving me behind bring it on home.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 06:30 PM
9

Holy crap. Divorced 3 years and remarried Good luck with that And man. You must be an optimist
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 12:18 PM
3

Depends on the terms of the divorce. If it’s 50/50 and you have $100k and she has $50k you’ll end up giving her $25k so you both end up with $75k All marital property (assets) are split. It doesn’t matter who’s name is on the account In some situations an inheritance might be exempt How long ago did she get it, how long married, any kids?
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 01:10 AM
5

Separation was in December 2021 Divorce was final August 2024 Our oldest is getting married this summer Will be the first time she’s seen any of my family since summer 2021. I don’t know if her mom will even attend due to health Pretty sure she isn’t seeing anyone but who knows. Her secrecy during marriage pushed me down so many terrible roads I’ve been seeing someone ‘casually’ for about 7 months. Don’t currently plan to bring her
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/25 02:39 PM
2

hard to do at times but the best possible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:56 PM
2

unless you're withholding important information (you're an addict; you've got some kind of charges pending) these bitches are out of control and their loser asshole husbands are the worst and will mostly all be in the same situation one day from the sound of it you and your stbx need to live apart. there are plenty of women who will enjoy your company and not be bitches
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 03:55 PM
5

I don’t know how my ex lives in our house Life is haunted enough being in a new place alone But keep going man. Keep working out. Find moments of joy. Things that make you smile. There you will find new people
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/25 04:37 PM
10

Or better yet just a woman who likes him. And don’t get married. Or live together.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 10:27 PM
3

Relax and have fun meeting a new person who is at least somewhat interested in you Good luck.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 12:59 AM
7

For sure I was her last and least concern. Absolutely anything took priority
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:59 PM
3

separated 12/2021. reconciliation efforts ended 6/2022 (her choice). during 2022 and 2023 i really wanted to meet someone and have a new person in my life. early 2024 i met a lady that was a combo ex wife and ex-college GF in all the best ways. we dated for about 3 months and i really liked her a lot. i'm sure i could have really deeply loved her over time but i found myself sometimes failing to show up fully for her in the ways she wanted and needed me to. she also had cancer and between treatm…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/25 04:33 PM
2

I’ve been able to meet a couple of great gals IRL. Haven’t been on apps yet I’m short, mid 50’s and extremely underemployed I go places that I will have fun and be smiling and there’s always nice eye contact. I don’t hit on anyone but manage to have conversations and sometimes they lead to more. The apps are a disaster from what I hear
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 02:22 PM
5

They’re everywhere And it doesn’t take that much to get them interested This is the way
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 12:48 PM
8

The ex ain’t spitting that’s for sure
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 04:38 PM
2

Fuck trump and fuck you if you voted for him He’s
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/25 02:53 PM
12

Work out. You don’t need drugs or insanity. Just be consistent and you will get into decent shape. Every woman I’ve spent time with since separation and divorce have loved touching me. I’m short and definitely losing hair but I’m smart and funny and go out a good bit to things I really enjoy Have met women irl at street party/festivals, art openings and bars (not dance/pick up clubs) I’m finding that I really want a casual GF that I see 1-2 times a week My career has been stalled out during the …
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/25 03:39 PM
1

lol I had a GF for about 3 months earlier this year. Ex never saw us But I went on a first date w a girl a week before the court date and ran into the ex on the date. (We’d been separated for more than two years by that time)
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/24 07:27 PM
1

You can if you’re submitting a negotiated settlement. At least in my state.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/24 10:00 PM
4

We did a collaborative process. Each had an attorney and we shared a financial intermediary We should have shared an attorney and would have save half the legal expense I probably could have gotten 10% better but I just wanted it over
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 09:39 PM
1

So far none of the women I’ve been involved with have had kids. Which is surprising as I’m 54 and all but one outlier (38) were younger than 45.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/24 12:54 AM
7

Keep going man Stop drinking alone. Booze is for socializing with others
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/24 01:37 PM
2

Nah. You can be honest without being so clearly not ready for dating or fun Sorry OP Take some time for yourself and get your head right
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/24 09:00 PM
5

Your first paragraph was so familiar. We had 7 months of her pretending to be engaged in fixing it and then 8-10 months of being on pause with no movement forward after a couple of argument ending walks that nearly helped everything All told next week is 3 years since I moved out and it went final in August **still financial busjnsss slowly untangling. She’s buying me out so I get to watch the housing market cautiously I’d still meet her if she said she wanted to talk I’d still be open to someth…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/24 11:28 PM
8

Life’s too short. Live it as you please. In the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/24 06:51 AM
10

Bullshit. I communicate w my ex about our kids. As little as possible We went final in August. Took us three years only because she couldn’t be bothered to get the divorce she wanted and couldn’t be bothered to make any effort to reconsider which I wanted
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 02:42 PM
1

I’ve found some interest by going to events and being myself.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 10:15 PM
1

BJ’s not such a big deal. My current FWB likes giving them but I’d rather fuck But your broad point remains. When they quit wanting to have sex on their own it’s over. Usually around the 2 year mark tho they typically want it once a month when they’re ovulating
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/24 04:55 PM
0

Nah. Had a GF earlier this year Now in something casual but she wants much more Sec is natural sex is good not everybody does it but everybody should -g Michael.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/24 12:48 PM
3

If you empower someone not to work you’re going to have some responsibility for them
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/24 02:16 PM
1

And you keep suggesting it’s more likely than it actually is. Anyway. The best advice for OP or anyone is to have mediation with a financial intermediary along with 1-2 attorneys rather than letting the courts decide. Peace. We’re not at war. Unless you’re one of my ex wife’s secret male friends. In which case fuck off and you’re lucky I have much better control over my behavior than you or she likes to pretend.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 04:25 PM
1

Only awarded in about 10% of divorces in a handful of states
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 11:44 AM
0

Nah. Lifetime alimony is rare these days OP should try for mediation OP’s ex can get half of his monthly SS benefit if hers is lower (he still gets his whole share) This is one of those deals that needs reform for SS Something along the lines of long term married couples ought to get their own benefit + half of ex spouse if they divorce within 10 years or so of retirement There should also be a guaranteed 5 year payout to heirs if someone dies before collecting the benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 01:10 PM
2

I’m so sorry. Not the same not even in the same universe let alone ballpark But here’s what I know about divorce and grief Mine was final in August. Three years ago this week my ex and I had the moment that ended our marriage Though we spent 7 months doing LAT and another nearly two years to get it finished (mediation) We were together since ‘94 Earlier this year I had a short fling. Three months. My first real GF since my wife She had cancer which I didn’t know until I’d been seeing her a few w…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/24 03:16 AM
2

My favorite line in any novel ‘Why do they always confuse the class struggle with the ass struggle’ Ralph Ellison. ‘Invisible man’
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 01:08 PM
2

Why is she getting the house outright. I assume you don’t want your kids to have to move. Sorry kids. Divorce sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/24 01:00 PM
3

The Bible is a book written by men in power to keep those not in power under control. If there’s a magical creator of the universe he’s an asshole
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 12:18 PM
1

Just looked up urban slang for it Uh. Idk man. Maybe ?
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:35 PM
2

It’s excellent. I had to give the first episode three tries over a coupe of years but eventually loved it and caught the final two seasons while airing
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:28 PM
1

Had that same dream about your wife man Ok. Sorry. Just f’ng around on a Friday Let’s both go find a lady that wants some doggy railing action They’re out there Just looking. For something to do
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 12:26 PM
5

Mortgage lender here. Your options are for either of you to buy the other out or to sell. If she wants to stay in the house she needs to be able to qualify for a mortgage or HELOC to pay you your equity. She can also ask the current lender about applying to assume the mortgage (which is what my ex is pursuing; though it will take her months to do even though we are 7 weeks past final divorce now). If she can’t qualify the house must be sold. That said-with the help of an attorney-you could struc…
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/24 08:00 PM
1

Joy rides only.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 09:20 PM
2

There is no age limit for mortgages in the USA. It is illegal to consider age as long as they are 18 This is a federal law binding all 50 states And the fair credit laws do not allow lenders to consider age for any loan in the USA.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 01:34 PM
1

I’ve been a mortgage loan officer for 25 years I’ve done 30 yr loans for people in their 70’s It is illegal to consider their age and no underwriter has ever brought it up
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 12:34 PM
0

I reject OP’s post but banks do not care about a borrower’s age unless they are under 18.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/24 11:12 AM
1

I’m sorry. My closest male friend in college ended up married to my GF. She left me for him. That’s terrible because you lost both and have to question both of the relationships
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 03:09 AM
5

2024 on the whole better than 2023 but still shitty based on Had my first gf since end of marriage (but she died ten days ago-she was stage 4 so not unexpected. We hadn’t talked since juts after the break up) Got a new job that sucks so far but better than the job I had in 2023 (tbd. 7 weeks in and no income yet but maybe getting first live deal this week) Divorce final last month but won’t untangle all finances for another 6 months at the pace things are going I’m in a better head space tho If …
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 04:56 AM
3

X is doing an assumption and buying me out Probably for the sake of our 16 yr old but I expect her to stay there until/unless she gets remarried Tho I could also see her moving back to the DC area where she’s from or overseas after our daughter finished school TBD It’s a haunted house but she’s very busy w work and has put a lot into the home. She hates forms and paperwork Divorce final 3 weeks ago but it will be months and months before she finishes the assumption and QDRO’s I handled all the p…
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 08:39 PM
2

It pisses me off that both of my brother’s wives and my sister continue to engage with my x on social media They were never close and barely saw each other during our 28 year relationship
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 01:24 PM
1

17 yr old can live with whoever he wants.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 01:02 PM
3

Just don’t lose your job like I did Holy shit. 90% of 6-8 months all alone
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/24 01:52 AM
15

She’s full of shit And he should know better than moving in w a single mom immediately after her divorce. ESP w apparently younger kids?
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 06:05 PM
2

Idk. I wish I knew. It would make it easier to kill the remaining feels But I don’t think she did. I’ll never know at this point. And mostly don’t care anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 02:21 PM
8

Some people are terrible for sure Others become terrible when their partner sidelines the relationship for a decade or two
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:15 PM
0

That’s true for most humans tho But most women have way more options than most men Esp in this century w online dating
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:08 PM
5

Pretty sure mine didn’t actually cheat but she damn sure wanted everyone else in her life more than me
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:07 PM
10

Are you Lost?
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 12:04 PM
1

Pretty good with son 23 but he is living two hours away now working his first job out of college Decent but needs improvement w 16 yr old daughter here in town After court yesterday I went out on the lake with a coupe of friends in their boat which broke down on us but it was a beautiful day on the water and a nice way to counter the weirdness of the hearing
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 12:06 PM
4

Also finalized yesterday after two plus years separated Weird feeling. I’d still try to work it out But it’s done now
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/24 11:52 AM
3

My only post wife GF had no kids. We had no problems with mine but we only dated for three months before I wasn’t good enough for her My youngest is 16 so maybe not the same issues as folks w young ones.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:31 PM
2

Taking the day off work (tho commission sales so I will still answer calls and texts about potential business) Friend invited me on his boat but then he got called into work so maybe tomorrow Ex looked good in court. She’s better looking at 55 than she was at 25 when we met Judge was definitely checking her assets. I mean. On the settlement docs. Right??? 😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:25 PM
1

Wow She out earned me the final ten years while I still paid mortgage and utilities and while I had 5-6 of my worst years So between the QDRO and equity buyout it’s about twice what I have on my own So yeah. Until that’s wrapped up I’m still a little bit stuck in it.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/24 05:23 PM
9

Our collaborative divorce is going to end up costing nearly $30k twice the worst possible amount they quoted And no one did any work other than charging me for phone calls and emails trying to get updates My paralegal said she has 70 cases No wonder it was such a poor experience 70 cases for one lawyer with two assistants It’s all over on Friday. 2.5 years after I moved out and 14 months after we started the real process
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/24 02:14 AM
13

Because every woman in their lives is there to support them and every man in their life is trying to provide for them
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/24 06:15 PM
2

It happens for sure. And along with hobbies and work I definitely recommend some casual fun if you can get it I did not really get it but the little moments here and there with women in the past 2.5 years (kissed a couple of handfuls that I’ve met IRL along the way)+ a 3 month GF did more for my healing than anything else (Tho a certain amount of additional sadness when GF dumped me) I know that’s a little weak on its own since you’ve got to find yourself but the confidence that some women will …
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:42 AM
1

Nah. Should have asked But it was all At the same event.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 12:37 AM
1

Yeah. I’m terrible at asking for numbers They are all friends with people I know though so good or bad I’m not a pure stranger reaching out
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 08:48 PM
7

Not on apps But Friday night I went to a friend’s art gallery for an event and met 3 women who were all seemingly happy to spend a good bit of time talking and I was feeling some vibes Then last night met another Would absolutely date all of them. Tempted to reach out on social and say hi. That has worked and not worked for me. A couple of girls didn’t mind because they apparently liked me A couple did not like it and probably were no better than on the fence about me TBD But it felt Great to ge…
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:36 PM
3

For real. Less is more Unless we’re taking about pussy. 😜😜
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 12:34 PM
4

I definitely could have pushed for an additional $500-1000/month and probably an additional 1-2 years. But she never fought me on providing support beginning in fall ‘22 when I lost the good job (which was still 8 months before we signed our collaborative agreement to get things started. Which has taken 14 months to resolve)
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 05:36 PM
1

Hard to say. But it would have driven our costs higher And any attorney also felt a better chance I would have gotten a worse deal due to certain issues that were part of why the divorce is happening. Anyway. I’m better off than many I wish I’d pushed harder for more tho only because I’m only getting $2000/mo for the next year and agree to it sliding to a lessor amount year by year (We have a 16 year old and I proposed this since it is unlikely il going to be able to contribute a lot toward her …
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 05:32 PM
8

My wife and I did a collaborative divorce. (Court two weeks from Today) She makes about $135k and made at least $20-30k more than me the entire last ten years of our marriage During the separation I lost the best job I ever had (only one where I made more than $80k in my life) She is paying alimony. Total of 5.5 years (+ has been provide support during separation which will total up to about 7 years) If I was a woman I’d have gone to court and likely gotten at least ten years out of a 25 year ma…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 03:39 PM
3

I knew my wife’s involvement with a new workplace would lead to problems (a co work space where social ties are encouraged but nobody works for the same company so HR is not involved).
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 02:34 AM
17

Dude Those songs are about whoever dumped her when she decided to come home and ‘work things out’ (in your case take advantage of your provisioning while searching for the next branch)
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/24 12:54 AM
2

This isn’t the girl to be friends with
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:16 PM
3

Terrible advice. Just cover it up and don’t be in a relationship w crazy
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/24 12:15 PM
9

That man vs bear thing played a role in my first post divorce GF breaking up w me Because the whole point of the conversation is to attack good men for not being able to control bad ones. And because my answer is that as a short man I’ve encountered bigger dumber men trying to intimidate me my entire life and the only response to it is to train and be prepared to defend yourself or run away And that you can’t train to fight a bear but you can train to fight a bad man She told me I don’t understa…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/24 02:54 PM
3

I’ve said every possible thing that hurt our chances more and every possible thing that should have helped There’s nothing else to say unless she finally decided to start talking Which she didn’t even do in counseling. She stepped out of the house when I picked up my daughter on my bday and Father’s Day and wished me happy each of those from way across the yard (stayed in my car. She did not approach) wtf. Do you want a conversation? Start one. Tomorrow is our 25th anniversary Court on 8/23 to w…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 02:31 PM
1

https://images.app.goo.gl/Nmy79afLXCTs9jCu6
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/24 10:57 AM
1

I sit in my car for a while before I can muster energy to go in the gym I always feel good five minutes in (start with some cardio. Get that heart rate up and the endorphins start flowing)
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 11:12 AM
2

And $23 to be able to go to any location and use the massage beds.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/24 11:10 AM
1

It sounds like it for sure. But it doesn’t seem that way. Just chasing soul sisters. I mean. It would be a nice salve to my ego if the issue was that she doesn’t like dudes. But I don’t think that’s it Anyway. The little bit of attention I’ve found from women has done more for my recovery than anything New job tomorrow. Hopefully gonna be better than the last. It’s the lowest bar that’s ever been set. 😂😂😂😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 07:14 PM
3

Yep. She didn’t want to get babysitters for date nights. Didn’t want my parents to watch our son or later kids so we could have a weekend getaway (parents two hours away and demonstrated competence with brother’s kids) But went to 5 high school reunions where she argued against me coming with her (ironically-wouldn’t you rather go on a weekend together for something other than hanging out with my old high school friends). Girls trips to the mountains. Taking extra days off work trips to be a tou…
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 12:14 PM
4

Have had them since my parents divorce when I was a kid. My divorce and career crash didn’t help. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 11:59 AM
2

Don’t miss being lonely and shut out from physical and emotional intimacy and being last place in her life behind any and every thing
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:52 PM
9

Our marriage couldn’t survive her career and one kid. I dropped below everything in her life and her time off was only for us as a family or for her to spend time with friends never for us as a couple Obviously sex declined in this atmosphere. I told her I was at a breaking point when she wanted a second kid It will be different she said Yeah. She doubled down on career and work travel and friend travel. Still no us travel. Except w kids. And we dragged it out another ten f’ng years (that I’d ne…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 09:05 PM
8

Community can be helpful But most churches are cults run by narcissists who scam people out of their cash and convince them that hate is love
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 01:08 PM
8

I have no idea if my wife cheated physically and no idea if she’s been with anyone since the separation but I’ve said all along that if I knew there was someone else it would have made this both harder to take and easier to get past because I’d be so mad
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:03 AM
11

Religion is the fentanyl of the masses
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 11:01 AM
1

Marriage or divorce? Although. I suppose in the same way that we start dying as soon as we’re born we start getting divorced as soon as we get married
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:49 AM
1

Omg. That’s terrible
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 10:48 AM
1

19 is a lot ESP if it was rough along the way
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/24 01:23 AM
2

asked her to pause any movement for the second half of 2022 but during that time she wouldn't spend time with me until late in the fall when she agreed to go on walks as long as i didn't bring up our relationship i was unable to honor that and each walk went really really well...until they ended and i couldn't help myself and drew her into arguments about the marriage started interviewing attorneys and we didn't end up beginning a collaborative process until june, 2023. and that got drawn out ri…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 05:07 PM
13

my stbxw and i did not have any sparks or chemistry on our first date. we went out 1-2 more times and became friends. a few months later we'd been talking a lot on the phone, taking walks together, etc, and went to see 'pulp fiction' and that night we had sex the first time i still wonder if that was supposed to be an FWB/hook up but in any case we moved up the relationship escalator eventually moving in together and eventually she gave me an ultimatum to propose or she would break up sex really…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 03:46 PM
2

Perfectly sums it all up. Also true of being dumped by my first partner since my XW only three months together but she brought me back to life She was everything I liked about my wife + extra compatibility on some superficial but relationship improving things
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:39 AM
3

Possibly true in my case but tbd
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:36 AM
3

Is this about fucking? Because it sounds like it’s about fucking Women don’t like to keep fucking their husbands Girlfriends much better at first lol
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:35 AM
2

This. Times a million
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 11:33 AM
3

It sure does Moved out December 2021 She quit trying to fix things June 2022 Court date is in a month
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/24 10:55 AM
4

Nah. I beat the dead horse instead of giving her space. Just like my marriage. Anyway. I think it would have been different for both of us if she was healthy. But. Now it’s looking for the next one. Maybe it will last longer than 3 months.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 09:37 PM
2

Not enough and the ones I have aren’t always around.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:20 PM
1

I let her down a few times in a similar fashion. Partially a hangover from failing marriage patterns and partially because I was a little freaked out by how serious she was about things early pushing to define the relationship and such. She also has very serious health issues that are sadly getting worse. But she was perfect in every way except for her illness and her sudden decision that I wasn’t going to be sharing any more of her time. Yeah. Definitely fell in love a little and would have bee…
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:19 PM
3

It’s added to my sadness. But along the way I’ve had some moments with a few other ladies. So all signs show I’m still in the game. Also got a job offer today. Seems like it is almost everything I could ask for after the past year and a half and a solid step in the right direction Finger’s crossed. If I get a little cash flow going I can really deal with all of this a while lot. better.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 05:08 PM
2

Court on 8/23 weeks after our 25th anniversary Do you think she’ll agree to a getaway weekend for either occasion? 😂😂😂😂 And sadly need to find a new GF since the last one dumped me two months ago It was so much better getting laid and having a sweet fun good looking companion
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 04:27 PM
2

Yeah. I think she bailed on me because things are declining for her I would have been there for her. But she probably did me a favor by sparing me that (especially as a late to the party character) I doubt I’ll find someone as perfect for me in so many ways She had all of my XW’s best qualities but also enjoyed some things the X did not (including sex w me. lol. )
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 01:51 PM
2

I know Had my first post-wife GF for three months this year but it didn’t work out She was pretty much perfect except for her lack of patience with my post-wife issues and the terminal cancer
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 01:47 PM
2

Gotta find one first. let alone two. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/24 12:50 PM
3

My wife is staying in ours So odd It’s a f’ng haunted house now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 02:44 AM
5

you're entitled to up to half the furniture. if she won't be reasonable just put together a list of what you want and worst case the attorney's will look at both lists and help you come to a solution
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 07:26 PM
8

Sounds like her next boyfriend ought to be an Uber driver Wish I’d had your resolve Good luck bro
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 05:24 PM
3

A lot of days I sit in the car for 10 minutes or more before I have the energy to get after it But it’s always a little better walking out.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/24 01:51 AM
5

I have some good nights but not many good days
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 07:15 PM
9

I found a gf despite being unemployed and not yet divorced But she dumped me after three months Yes. It made a world of difference in dealing with life and the divorce bs Except now I’m missing her as well as my family After taking my daughter to France for a biz trip last week my son and his gf are staying back at home w stbxw this whole weekend I’ve been phased out of my family my career. Etc. I’m wasting away. All day doomscrolling until time for gym and then maybe go out and hear some music …
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/24 03:44 PM
3

They always move on to the next guy quickly. Which should tell all of us a lot
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 10:08 PM
1

And in that comfort usually lose all interest in a man and a dead bedroom is the best case and a cheating skank is the worst
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/24 10:07 PM
3

Worse I became insecure jealous and angry. But yeah I lost my shit when she chose to add days to a business trip to chase her yoga teacher that moved across country and told my X she didn’t want to continue the friendship This was 3 years after X failed to honor a promise to do a couples bday getaway for my 40th bday
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 02:26 PM
7

My X takes zero responsibility for her part in our decline When she was the one who shut down the marriage after our first was born (didn’t want to do date nights or getaways any more. Even when he was 3-4-5 years old. Then I very stupidly agree to another kid on her promise that ‘things will be different this time’. Things were different. She pursued her career and obsessive friendships even more to the detriment of our marriage Yeah. I became a total asshole at that point. After ten years of b…
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/24 12:12 PM
5

Yeah From the days when men would die hunting for food or fighting enemies to protect them Baby daddy died. Got to find a new baby daddy
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 12:25 PM
5

It’s better on nights like last night when I met a new lady and got a few kisses with her number. She’s a little older but looked ok and was clearly into me. I’ll take the win and see where it goes There’s a girl. Right next to you. And she’s just waiting. For something to do.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 11:39 AM
3

Dumped by first post marital GF last month after three months together She came on strong out of the gate which scared me and I held my emotions in check more By the time she broke up w me I had really built things up and she flipped a switch and checked out over the course of our last 24 hours together They’re all a little crazy But for FFS. She was almost perfect. A year younger. Loves to go see bands locally. Former attorney and not religious and similar politics. Also. Hot. Wish she hadn’t d…
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/24 10:40 AM
-1

I hate this dude but… https://youtu.be/UFdvCyKemAw?si=pssMsiD7PiH-AFJs
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 04:57 PM
6

Third Father’s Day out of the house Daughter has to work until 8 pm but we’re gonna grab a quick bite after she gets off work. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/24 12:33 PM
8

She’s not hanging w her family bro On On On to the next one I’ve got to stop chasing those who run too
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/24 06:03 PM
4

I’ll be better when I have any kind of consistent income and especially if I find another GF The divorce impacted the way I screwed up a fucking amazing shot with the first real ‘her’ since my XW
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/24 12:25 PM
16

I would not have married her if I’d known she would shut down sex and our actual relationship after our first kid Would not have agreed to another kid but she convinced me things would be different
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:49 PM
14

Paying is inconsequential tho The point is that nearly all women seem only interested in sex to secure a husband and then mostly shut it down
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 07:48 PM
7

It’s always three times as many
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 12:14 PM
13

Run. That’s nuts. Surely she had a handful of longer relationships which means that there were probably 90-100 one night stands Gross
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:32 AM
1

This is what happened with my recent first post marriage Gf I miss her. She was great. We were just getting started. Dang.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 09:54 PM
2

Shiny things and new relationship energy Disney princesses waiting for a magic slipper
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 06:45 PM
1

Uh yeah. Those are the best parts. Along with fun companionship Everything is more fun with an awesome woman Just lost my first post marriage GF. She was great. Idk if I’ll find another like her
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/24 05:23 PM
6

Of course she moved on All they have to do is appear in public or online and choose Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/24 10:29 PM
2

Well My career ran into a ditch during the separation Still there I was always expecting to work at least part time in retirement Now. Well. Expat life maybe? A van by the river?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 07:18 PM
2

Yeah. It’s tough at my age. Our marriage got rocky ten years ago I’m better off financially for it being now instead of 5-7 years ago but I’d much rather be mid 40’s than 50’s
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 05:46 PM
2

You can’t be older or much older than me (54) But this group do friends are mostly 40’s and 50’s and mostly single. I’m sort of on the outskirts of the group. But they’ve mostly accepted me
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 05:36 PM
4

Yep She’s definitely stringing him along And he’d probably be fine w a FWB sitch.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 02:40 PM
3

Yep. It’s wild. In the right situation with the right kind of girl I do ok. I have a wide range of types of women I like physically intellectually emotionally. I fit into a much smaller range on the other side But. I’m pretty happy to have made out briefly with a new lady Friday night after a mutual friends bday party. I thought she was interested a few months ago It’s such a boost as I wrap up the divorce after two years separated and after being dumped last month by first GF after three months…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 02:29 PM
12

Seriously It’s so GD easy for all women It’s sort of easy for a few men. I doubt her new man has any clue that he’s nothing but a time killer and space filler to her
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 12:01 PM
7

Same as it ever was This is not my beautiful life.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:50 PM
8

wtf. No. No more kids.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 10:50 PM
2

Mines done for sure I have reached acceptance but it still hurts Some days more than others I didn’t expect the GF to not want to try to overcome her uncertainty about me but she also has serious health issues and maybe it’s for the best And maybe her health had as much to do w my inconsistency as the divorce feels. But she was damn near perfect for me and I wish it wasn’t over On On On to the next one -d grohl. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 07:45 PM
6

so sorry man. we've all been there. hence we're here. this is a good space for us. we're here for you if you need us. day or night someone's here. mine got out of bed after we failed to have sex because of menopause issues and said 'i'm not attracted to you on any level: physically, emotionally or intellectually'. then said 'maybe you could find someone to have sex with'. 9 months later she said she didn't want to try to fix it and now just waiting for a court date to finalize our settlement. my…
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/24 06:49 PM
5

She referred to herself as ‘a person of integrity’ throughout the separation and divorce A person of integrity who intentionally shielded her entire life from me (ie. secret male besties at work that came to dominate her time thoughts and probably tingles.) She lied in therapy about him
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:24 AM
2

My ex and I barely had a fight at all for 18 years. When we started having some problems she was so quick to bring up divorce. Should have insisted on couples counseling right then and there Instead we couldn’t really resolve the issue and both retreated to our positions and ultimately this led to me morphing into a very depressed angry person She decided on divorce in 2015 but tried to fake everything hoping to get both kids through high school with a fake marriage I’m glad for those bonus year…
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 11:09 AM
3

He dated her for more than two months Her reaction is over the top and a red flag. But I couldn’t imagine going on more than one date with someone and it coming up Granted. I’m 54 not mid 30’s But still Having been married is a positive in most ways. Tells the date you’re able to commit and maintain a long relationship. Of course. Also depends on why you divorced
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 10:51 AM
11

Two months and she didn’t know you’ve been married d Yeah. That’s nuts It’s not something to hide Be up front about if.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/24 04:09 AM
3

Plan B was Plan D (ick) If she comes back she’ll have less attraction and respect than ever I’d probably give it a go But I doubt I could show up how I would need to if she didn’t do so first. And she’s intractable at this point. Yes. The feeling that the future is darker lonelier and poorer. Said the guy who’s first amazing post marital GF tapped out two weeks ago because of my unhealed childhood, professional and marital trauma I’ve seen a stat that 12% get back together but Idk if that means …
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:26 PM
2

Bridge over the river kill bill (your bill I guess. Me Too)
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 06:22 PM
3

I miss it all Especially since my first GF just dumped me after three months over basically nothing. She was only married briefly a long time ago and I think long term single women are always looking for a reason to walk away instead of smoothing differences out.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/24 11:37 AM
2

Like everything else marriage needs reform since it is primarily a business deal. And like everything else in the USA it should be approximately the same in every state Alimony. Child support. Etc. Make it standard but of course not permanent
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 06:29 PM
1

Bingo Mine shut down being a couple after kids Wouldn’t let my folks watch kids so we could have a getaway here and there Leaned into work travel Didn’t want me to attend any of her 5 out of state high school reunions while we were married Once a month the entire marriage. Then broke promises to change instead pursuing obsessive friendships with women who told her to back off (Says she’s not a lesbian) Yeah. After ten years of it and three years of not honoring her promises I lost my shit We sho…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 01:26 PM
3

It’s not long after ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you’
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/24 03:02 AM
3

My f’ng stbx is taking our daughter along for a business trip to France The biggest fracture in our relationship was that she shut down couples trips after we became parents Everything bad grew out of that Happy for my daughter but pissed off overall and upset about the pending settlement given my economic uncertainty as I am unemployed and worried about being able to get by not to mention having the excess cash flow to date.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/24 11:35 AM
7

Suffering the loss of my first post marital GF. Dumped a week ago We were together for about three months. Had sex a handful of times Hope it is not two years before my next partner. It was exquisite having sex w someone that wanted to be there. Wanted to touch and be touched.
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/24 02:21 PM
4

54 last month Divorce final within 30 days or so separated two years + Just dumped last week by my first post marital GF Over nothing big in my mind GD. Hope it doesn’t take two years to find the next one (met her organically and not yet on apps) Still in financial free fall
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/24 11:23 AM
5

Dumped by my first GF since my wife over the weekend 3 really nice months having someone in my life She liked sex more than the ex I’m a little confused why she ended it But She has serious health issues
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/24 01:17 AM
5

You should walk with some assets and possibly support from the sound of it
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/24 09:40 AM
4

This. My corporate ladder climbing wife has had my name for nearly her entire career
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 11:03 AM
2

I met her at a Mardi Gras festival here Mentioned my divorce. We separated 12/21 and I met this girl in 2/24 It’s hardly like I was fresh out of the marriage Wife and I had our mediation the first week of March. Of course. Nothing was filed until a few weeks ago. Yeah. She looked it up and questioned me and she chose to believe me that things were over
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:03 AM
1

Was really hoping to stay with her all summer at the beach-only two hours away Bad.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 11:35 PM
2

Similar story. My career has crashed since separation and I’m worried about being able to just get by And shit. The girl I was seeing paid about every second to third thing we did together but dating still expensive as shit But nah. I’m not done So far I don’t feel destroyed over this break up I wish she wasn’t doing it. But I’m gonna do my best to continue getting out there
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 10:28 PM
5

This sounds like great advice I just got dumped by my first GF since separation Between the last time with my wife and the first time with this woman it was almost two years ***not on apps and wasn’t approaching women much. Met this one and a couple others IRL but only slept with this one She was great but has a lot on her plate and just relocated to another city for the next two months There were some issues but we got along great and sometimes connected deeply. She was fun in a lot of ways my …
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 10:19 PM
6

My first post marital GF (first person I slept with) just broke things off this weekend after three months I’m bummed because I really liked her. Smart sweet funny fun and sexy I’m definitely open to finding someone else But I’ve never been on apps I met her organically. So rare I guess Nah. I still want female companionship and sex Tick tick. I don’t have much time 54 and was with my wife for 28 years not counting the past two separated.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/24 07:25 PM
5

It will be better later. It might not ever fully fade It will get better tho. I’m two years out from the end. Divorce is just about to be final Yesterday my first post marital GF dumped me. Three months I hope it doesn’t take me two years to find my next three month GF.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/24 07:11 PM
2

She wished me a happy bday from across the yard when I picked up my daughter for my bday. I didn’t respond Part of me doesn’t accept amicable because she proved she wasn’t my friend being unwilling to have honest conversations for years before things got so bad they couldn’t be saved (I actually think it could still be saved. lol).
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 01:22 PM
6

I’ll probably send her a text wishing her a happy day. Or maybe not. Idk. Fuck her avoidance and secrecy that got us here
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/24 10:04 AM
5

This. For sure
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/24 04:24 AM
4

i had plenty of growing up to do when my stbxw and i got together mid-20's. i still do. i can't for the life of me figure out why she pulled back so hard after our son was born, why i tolerated it for so long, why i agreed to a second child that i told her i didn't want to have unless our marriage was better i know exactly how, why and the exact moments when all of it broke me and i became a terrible version of my terrible father. we should be final in less than 60 days. we got together in 1994 …
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 04:48 PM
1

Boom I gym 5-6 days a week. 45 minutes to an hour includes 16-17 minutes of running I never max out I just clock in do my reps and clock out I need the daily endorphin hit
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 03:49 AM
3

My ex is buying me out and staying in the house TBD if she will stay past our daughter’s high school graduation in two years I’m guessing she will unless she gets remarried
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 01:03 PM
2

That’s not how this works You get half the current market value based on sale or appraisal.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 01:02 PM
2

Obviously you get this in a legal agreement
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 01:00 PM
3

He’s either going to buy OP out in cash and have OP do a quit claim or he’s gonna get a new mortgage Not complicated
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/24 12:58 PM
0

Not true. Several states it matters
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 09:42 PM
2

Depends on the state.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/24 09:42 PM
0

Four digits as in >$1000? Dude. Have higher goals.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 11:21 PM
6

Whatever love and attraction my wife had for me as a man died maybe before the wedding (we were together 5 years before marriage living together for three) We had our first kid two years in and she shut down date nights and weekend trips despite my nearby parents begging to watch our son I probably pulled away some as a result Then she wanted kid 2. Biggest mistake of the marriage. Told her I was worried about ‘us’ esp if another kid. We’d only added occasional date nights back after our son was…
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/24 01:57 PM
2

Somewhat. Especially at beginning of separation I had a hard time focusing on shows I wanted to watch 2+ years later it isn’t back to how it was when we were together Maybe because we watched shows together and now generally I’m watching them alone
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 01:40 PM
0

She is going to house sit for a friend at the beach Plan is for me to visit a night or two a week She will also be coming back to this area regularly. I can see it running its course or settling into more what I’m looking for. TBD. The beach house sounds amazing tho. And I do enjoy spending time with her. And. Uh. Other things. (2 years since I was with my wife. In that time I’d only kissed a few).
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 10:03 PM
1

Been spending time with someone recently She seems to be more about making it something than I do I like her. But I like seeing her a coupe of nights a week. Can’t see anything more than that Maybe ever.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 09:31 PM
2

This.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 03:27 PM
3

It’s gotten better over there but still heavily skewed towards’man bad woman good’
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 02:09 PM
4

Because I never wanted kids except in the context of a happy loving marriage Oops.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/24 01:40 PM
2

Yep Daughter was just turning 14 when I moved out two years ago Was definitely becoming that locked in her room with headphones on kid already I pick her up from school three days a week and we have dinner at least one night a week (Sunday but often she bails and we try to do a weeknight) Missing so much of her life including the many random Moments when she was in good spirits She doesn’t stay w me at all Divorce sucks Our relationship wasn’t great she was always a mama’s girl but it’s mostly w…
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:52 PM
2

What a horrible unprofessional woman. Imagine if you said something along those lines about her (Yeah. It was positive. lol)
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 12:03 PM
3

The only time women were ever truly interested in me was early in relationships when I was a little detached still. In all of my relationships the more attached I get the less interested they are. Smh.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:49 PM
4

Exactly I don’t think my wife ever regained her desire for me after kids We had some hot times along the way But rarely more than once a month for most of 20 years after kids I tried to talk about it but she would never open up and eventually I got so frustrated with her that I became a shitty partner. Yeah. Hard conversations The only f’ng way marriage works.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:48 PM
1

The net worth is less of a factor in my issues w OP’s single mom. The no job for ten years and the three kids at 80% custody is the real issue Kids wreck marriages for husbands. As great as they also are. Someone else’s kids. Even worse
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:34 PM
1

If it was one kid that’s one thing. But three. And she won’t be anything approaching a contributing partner. And the alimony will end. And the child support might be reduced. Pass
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/24 12:27 PM
2

Nothing wrong with that. The secret is don’t live together or get married
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 06:01 PM
3

Our 10-15k collaborative divorce became $25k for no good reason We should have just shared an attorney and a financial intermediary. I feel manipulated and steered in a predatory way. They saw the size of the pot and determined they were gonna make that no less The pot isn’t all that. But 25 years of two people living within their combined means and saving where they could A couple thousand a year for a couple of couples weekends would have prevented this and we’d have both Been happier healthie…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/24 02:21 PM
1

We have no family nearby I somewhat withdrew from a number of the visits and events with them over the last couple of years of the marriage In hindsight that was probably another mistake I grew to resent family trips because she avoided trips for us as a couple
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 12:50 AM
6

Been apart for two Years Signed settlement last week It gets better. But it still sucks a lot of the time I’d still Try to work it out even though I’m winning financially.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 06:35 PM
3

Same I always wanted to do a cross country rv trip. Ex wasn’t interested Idk tho. Don’t want to do it alone
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 02:22 PM
3

Divorce with young kids is terrible. It’s not great w a teen that didn’t want much to do w me before the split Sorry. Your ex is a bitch
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/24 12:14 PM
1

lol You’re right Math of that level is not as hard as op and I made it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 02:01 PM
3

End of May is two years since she said she didn’t want to try to reconcile Today I signed the settlement agreement to submit for our court date I didn’t feel a ton But some days I still deal with a lot And ultimately I’d still try to find a way to save it but you can’t do it alone It gets easier I assume I’ll always carry sadness about it However For me getting back on my feet financially and attention from women will make a ton of difference **have had enough attention that I know they’re our t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 12:10 AM
1

All assets are put in a bucket and split down the middle in most cases Spousal support sometimes negotiated against larger asset splits If your 401k is $100k and Hers is $50k you would simply owe her $50k less QDRO costs and/or tax consequences
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/24 04:26 PM
6

Your nearly last line is all that really matters It can’t be changed And if she came back to you now it wouldn’t work out
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 01:59 PM
12

It’s super common. LL4U. Not for someone probably at work or yoga.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 04:53 PM
4

Do you have proof of affair? Depending on your state it could help you with outcome If
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 09:16 PM
2

Do you have proof of affair? Depending on your state it could help you with outcome
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/24 09:16 PM
6

Similar time frame for me It’s not as bad as it was 3 6 9 12 months ago Etc Would be better if I had a job I’ve made some new friends which helps It’s just time I’ll never be fully over this after 30 years together (25 married if you count the past two years which don’t really count
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/24 11:32 AM
3

Worthless. Not worth a penny and she made a couple thousand off of us
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 11:37 PM
7

When she got out of bed after we failed to have sex due to her unaddressed menopausal issues and she told me she was not attracted to me on any level Then when she suggested a roommate marriage in therapy Then when I found out about her secret work best friend she’d hidden for 4 years. Divorced guy Finally when she refused to engage about this deception and said she was 100% in favor of divorce At mediation three weeks ago she said this was all my idea. Despite everyone in the room (two attorney…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 01:58 PM
7

They divorce us whether they make a lot less or a lot more It doesn’t matter to them When they’re done-they’re done It’s admirable in a twisted way
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/24 08:37 PM
4

tbd. step dads are a thing. see the recent vomit inducing publix commercial. surprised the real father wasn't shown at the wedding getting effectively cucked in favor of the amazing step day
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:12 PM
3

mine would be better off financially if she'd gotten to the point of no return sooner i'm left with the joyful memories of those 'bonus years' with my kids and family intact but also the frustrations of the gaslighting and stonewalling along the way as well as wondering if any of it was real or to what degree she knew it was not a question of if but when... ​ anyway. we had mediation two weeks ago with the agreement going back and forth for revisions. assuming it is signed inside the next 7-10 d…
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 06:10 PM
6

Oh yeah. I’m in my third place since December 2021 and my car is confused as hell
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/24 03:14 PM
7

Just do it I usually sit in the car in the parking lot for 10 minutes or more struggling to get motivated to walk in Always feel better 5 minutes into my warm up run. I go 5-6 days most weeks. I don’t work out all that hard but I do it almost every day
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/24 11:43 AM
4

54 next month It’s not over man. Close. But not yet.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 11:38 PM
1

Read through draft of settlement agreement yesterday Heavy
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:33 PM
2

I focus on knowing how much my mood improves after about the first five minutes on my warm up jog/run My body doesn’t ever change much but I know I feel and look better if I work out nearly every day.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 04:14 PM
1

There are plenty of good looking women everywhere as far as I can tell in my 53 years. How and when to approach is a hell of a problem I’d like to be taller and have more money. I’m positive it would make a lot of difference. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 03:26 PM
3

In my relationships it has been mostly the same In hindsight I saw the signs but at the time? One of my favorites was my longest college girlfriend of 3 years. We worked together (restaurant so hook ups all around daily) and went out after work with a group Sat in my car talking for about two hours after and she finally said ‘are you going to make a move or do I have to do it?’ She was fun. Until she decided she liked my best bro better
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:34 PM
2

For sure I go to planet fitness because it’s cheap but it’s so impersonal compared to some places I’ve worked out in the past. There’s a girl right next to you and she’s just waiting for something to do if you can’t be with the one you love…. But…if you’ve misread it you’re forever the gym creep I already think some of them act weird when they’re simply in my line of sight
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 01:24 PM
6

So many ladies at the gym that seem almost ready for approach I don’t do it tho
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/24 12:21 PM
1

I pick up my 16 yo daughter from school m-w’s She’s usually tired from school and not in the mood to talk I have a Sunday night dinner with her most weeks when she doesn’t bail Last night she was moody and down It so nice when she’s funny and in good spirits
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 02:34 PM
6

Happened with my college girlfriend a month after we moved in together after 3 years dating They are still married 30 years later tho I’m sure it helps that he made an assload of money working for his older brother who sold the company to Citibank for $700million
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 02:00 PM
2

Massive waste. So true. Tho in my situation trying it 10 years sooner would likely have guaranteed never divorcing
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:05 PM
6

This My wife was ‘see I tried’ but even the therapist said she didn’t really try
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:04 PM
1

Had mediation two days ago Came to agreement but waiting for official document to sign My attorney said best to sign that day so still in the waiting game
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:02 PM
4

I got a cat. Far easier to manage. I like dogs but they’re too much work
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:14 PM
4

Moreso that for most married and divorced couples kids are part of the deal And kids always make the connection between spouses harder to maintain romantically/sexually After divorce most have had their kids and now it’s just finding a companion for fun and laughs ***exactly what brought the original couple together and most often sacrificed by the female partner Me? Had mediation today. I won the financial part of the divorce but lost everything that mattered to me I’d still try to work things …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 03:53 AM
7

And ins and outs.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 09:08 PM
7

Tells you about her friends Make sure their husbands know.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 09:08 PM
4

There’s always a man that wants them Often a decent one
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:36 PM
2

She wasn’t wrong
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 03:40 PM
2

My ex is buying me out Lived in that house as a family for 20 years. By far the longest I ever lived in place I’m there a couple times a week doing school drop offs It’s weird. I still have a lot of stuff to get out I will likely use the buyout to buy something cheap, live in it for a year and then move again and hold the first as a rental. Tho I’m not sure I want to stay in town anymore (hard to imagine trying to start over at 54)
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 02:06 PM
2

I can believe it. TBD By someone else not me. I don’t think I’ll hear about the details
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 01:17 PM
2

Are you disputing her medical reality? Not sure where you’re going with this That said-the last stage of our marriage that directly led to the separation was her getting out of bed after one of those attempted intimacies and telling me she was not attracted to me on any level (despite saying she thought I still looked good and was in decent shape) So. Who knows. Maybe it was physiological tied to psychological But it started when she hit menopause and it is a common problem for 30-50% of women i…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 09:58 PM
2

she'd be totally ready to go until penetration. dryness and pain and she couldn't continue. lube didn't help. she wouldn't seek medical intervention or even guidance on this (she did speak with her ob/gyn about it during our attempts to reconcile but was unwilling to try the lotions, creams drugs that can be used to correct the issue)
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 04:58 PM
3

Don’t have many guy friends and the ones I have are rarely available Can check out women but no sex happening (I have kissed a handful since separation but I think the most recent one is gonna friendzone me today) Not close to family geographically or emotionally (tho a little closer since separation) Career in shambles. Currently unemployed Saw stbxw at daughter’s band performance last night She was looking for me when I got there but I don’t sit w her at these events But I could still feel a m…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 03:07 PM
16

Much of this list was not an issue in my marriage She just didn’t want me as a man. Just as a co parent and bill splitter.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:11 PM
2

I would. Even though it would end before it ever began as she was having menopause issues for the last two years we were together and were never able to have penetration for more than about a minute.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 02:05 PM
3

You couldn’t possibly understand the struggles of the average man
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 07:39 PM
1

I’ve been the only one pushing the divorce along even tho I’d still be willing to try to reconcile today after two years + apart. Latest mediation meeting is 3/6 after ex bailed on the one from this past Monday At this point she’s just screwing w me. ***shes the higher earner. So maybe she just wants to delay the asset split
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 04:30 PM
2

My daughter is 16. We have dinner once a week and I pick her up from school three days. I don’t think I can handle trying to start fresh at 53 but if I there are 3-4 places within 3-4 hours I could go
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 08:49 PM
3

You need to change companies or move I’m considering a move myself. This city is so haunted. But tough after 35 years in one place. At my obvious age.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 06:56 PM
1

I once shared some of my frustrations about my marriage with my dad and he mocked me for it He hasn’t expressed glee about my divorce but it seems clear he must not have liked my wife Not very close to any of my family Closer with my step sister since the divorce and my brother has tried to step up It’s sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/24 12:47 PM
1

My stbxw is concerned about her retirement per our financial intermediary Yeah. Me too Two income household and not splitting 30 years of savings would be better
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 03:01 PM
1

god damn. i understand why so many people go postal stbxw cancelled today's mediation late last week now we're looking at the first week of march 6 people have to be present for this to happen. the absolutely fucking useless 'divorce coach' is the one holding up a march 5 meeting we signed the god damn collaborative agreement last june we've been apart for more than 2 fucking years what the fuck do i have to do to get divorced in this god damn country
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 09:56 PM
1

My stbxw knew she was gonna have to pay me something It’s going to be more than she wants. I’d rather have not lost the best job o ever had. And would rather the next one hadn’t left the state and made me unemployed I’m glad these things happened before the divorce was finalized (and since we’re collaborating before we officially began and before any settlement offers had been presented. She was the one dragging her feet even though she is the one that wanted this for years and years before tell…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 05:02 PM
6

Therapists are not supposed to tell patients what they do but it seems that only applies to men
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 05:55 PM
3

We do it all for the nookie.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 04:41 PM
3

If this was the only fatal flaw in my marriage maybe it could have continued But she had cut me out of her life except for the time we were together at night at home And she wasn’t able to be honest or actually work on things She suggested I find an FWB. But for me (and the vast majority of men) it is easier to find a new partner as a single man than a married one And of course when pressed on this she said she would be allowed to do the same Later I found out about her secret best friend of fou…
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 02:32 PM
8

Fuck that conscious uncoupling bullshit The letter I want from my wife is one where she actually looks at and acknowledges her role in how we got here Beyond saying she can’t remember what she was thinking and feeling that’s the best I got from her in counseling sessions she barely showed up for and rarely said anything. I also want to know if she fucked someone or just wanted to
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/24 01:42 PM
1

Postponed. Again Apparently my stbx has been dealing with shingles and using that to push meeting back She can go to work tho GD.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 01:55 PM
1

Probably about 5 years. I wish I didn’t need it. I wish she had not married someone she was no longer interested in instead of having two kids chasing her career and avoiding date nights getaways and sex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 08:46 PM
4

Mine had a photo of us dancing together at a big event until a few months ago when I sent her a very nasty note to please remove it and she did She wanted the image of being married Not a husband Just the image and the kids
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 12:59 PM
8

This is the pre valentines story we needed
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 12:55 PM
14

Depends on their situation and approach They need to understand when posting that this sub is catering to men. Most of whom (?) were abandoned cheated on or lied to or on the flip side got destroyed financially
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 10:16 PM
10

How quickly did you start dating? During separation? As others have said It’s not easy for most people to ‘get over’ a 25 yr relationship Or 30 in my case I’m not dating as the divorce is not yet final
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 09:06 PM
11

Because she has moved on with another man Period
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:13 PM
15

Seriously And of course she has a new man I wonder when she met him (Or the prior one?)
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/24 08:13 PM
1

53 but bday soon
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 07:52 PM
2

Coming to the end. She said she wanted out 18 months ago after six months of living apart during the week and together on weekends I had to file to move things along because she would just live apart forever apparently but still be married Collaboration ongoing since June. It’s two weeks of easy paperwork not much different than a mortgage It’s no one having any urgency about it but me. And people adding a lot of extra calls at the preposterous rate per minute scam lawyers get away with Anyway. …
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 04:55 PM
2

There are surely so many women out there I’d be compatible with The odds of finding one. At this age. In these circumstances But that’s my life now.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/24 01:13 PM
3

We still had pieces of all of that But she was apparently faking all of it for 5-10-20 years (who really knows. She won’t talk and never would)
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 11:36 PM
11

I don’t want to ‘not have time for a love life’ I genuinely liked my wife and being married I just wanted her to like me and want to spend time together and rebuild our connection. So yeah. I want to find companionship mutual support sex and affection again
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 08:56 PM
5

are you talking about temporary support or alimony or an unofficial agreement during separation?
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 03:58 PM
4

You’re competing with her feelings for a dead man who apparently treated her well enough that she didn’t divorce him That’s a lot. Sorry this happened. Though if you’re already able to have a FWB going I think you’ll be just fine All of this is a lot harder for those of us that struggle to find women we connect with
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 11:41 PM
1

Not tall. It’s a GD superpower for those of you that have it and probably the most important thing.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 01:03 PM
2

As long as. Hilarious. Anyway. Pretty soon I’ll be able to give it a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:40 PM
2

Ah. I see your post history. A former swinger. Yeah. You’re a professional. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 10:39 PM
6

Kind of hard to feel much sympathy for people comparing about apparently easy access to sex and some kind of companionship SMH.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 08:59 PM
2

I wanted so badly to be a different kind of husband and father to my kids But as the years went on and I found myself in an altered version of my parents marriage and my wife failed to honor our agreeements to change the course we were on I became a lot like him (minus the career success and mistresses) My wife’s parents appeared to have a loveless lifeless marriage. Her mom very intelligent but cold. Few ever break their patterns
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/24 03:56 PM
2

If I had that answer I’d be rich and not alone struggling to get my life back on track during this divorce
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:09 PM
3

It seems that there are two kinds of straight women out there Sex freaks who can’t get enough or puritans who don’t want it at all
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:49 PM
1

I got insecure jealous and angry I own my part in the collapse Maybe counseling would have helped if I’d insisted on it ten years ago before I became a terrible husband and compromised father
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 04:34 PM
4

People are guided by their emotions and very bad at math. ESP when money is involved
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 01:05 PM
4

Married 24 to date together 30 (minus two) She pretended to work on reconciliation for the first seven months (we were LAT and together every weekend) Then she said she was 100% in favor of divorce I asked her to just pause. But she wasn’t interested in spending time together or trying to work on things We took some walks but each time I couldn’t avoid talking about the marriage and she’d literally run away to get to her car rather than have a conversation Big fight last January ended all hope a…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 09:08 PM
7

We’ve been apart for two years but divorce not final I still miss her and the life we had even w our problems. Every day
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:15 PM
8

I tried talking about things for years but she stonewalled me She kept all of her concerns to herself Eventually I snapped and wrecked any chance of things working out Hard to understand why our perfect family wasn’t worth real effort to talk ten years ago
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:52 AM
7

There’s no god.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 12:49 PM
3

What state. My wife is the high earner. 24 yr marriage and she offered two years of alimony I’ve countered for 8 and I assume we will settle at 5-6. I’m currently unemployed
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 02:10 AM
4

Also 53. Similar situation Separated for two years now. Collaborative divorce hopefully in the end stages maybe finalized before summer Recently dumped by the best new friend I’d made since separation. She was toxic but still a good friend Haven’t tried to date yet. Best guess is it won’t go well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:36 PM
18

Eh. They all more or less know how easy it is to find a man for….companionship And a new one. And another. And another Why bother trying to get back what you used to have when there are so many new suitors
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 12:37 AM
1

SC has no formal guidelines for alimony. We are attempting to do a collaborative settlement In the back and forth stage. She offered two years. I’ve countered 8. I assume we will settle at 5-6 years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:39 PM
1

SC has no formal guidelines for alimony. We are attempting to do a collaborative settlement In the back and forth stage. She offered two years. I’ve countered 8.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:38 PM
3

Jokes on her. She has been the higher earner for about ten years. She’s going to pay me something and we’re negotiating the settlement now Def not lifetime. But probably 3-5 years of some kind of alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 08:21 PM
3

28 years together. 24 married if we count the past two years apart and working to and now thru divorce The sex and love were exceptional the first two years By the time our first was born there was still love. By the time our second was born I was just a roommate co parent biz partner
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 06:59 PM
7

The starfish never really desired us. And at some point turns off sex with us completely and buries themselves in work kids family friends etc or breaks bad and cheats It’s how many of us got here I loved my starfish. She didn’t love me
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 04:01 PM
1

100k only buys $75k today.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 01:58 PM
7

Yes! I always had the idea of your plan but fortunately my son graduated college and got his first job and is making more at 22 than I made until I was mid-30’s Will have the plan on back burner in case daughter needs it Stbx on biz trip last week and got to have dinner with both kids 3 out of 4 nights. It was almost like having a family again
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 01:32 PM
15

No. Some guys took me to hooters and yes a strip club I had an embarrassing dance on stage. I love naked women. Strip clubs never did it for me Scuzzy atmosphere and the whole vibe of not quite prostitution is desperate and lame.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/24 08:21 PM
2

My only saving grace is that my stbxw has made more than me for about ten years so she will have to pay me something
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:26 PM
2

Bingo. Lost the best job of my middling career late ‘22 Just laid off as company closed local operations I will exit the divorce w a small pile of cash but need to figure out how to make some money.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 02:20 PM
2

Sex and cash. They come more easily to some than others.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:57 PM
2

People with good jobs and easy access to new distractions (sex) do better than people like me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:21 PM
3

If you want to save your marriage it should be worth the cost Cheaper than divorce
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 04:48 PM
0

Why aren’t you going to counseling as a couple?
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 02:01 PM
1

20k a month is not a ‘relatively high earner’. It is top 2% of USA.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 09:51 AM
2

I don’t know that your experience is the average.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 03:09 AM
12

Wow. I’m sorry. Your father is also a piece of shit.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 03:36 PM
4

I have not tried apps yet. I don’t expect them to work for me but will be giving it a shot. I’m so lonely.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 03:37 PM
2

I’ve worked out my whole life Not huge but in ok shape. Got laid off end of 22 Took a bad job that didn’t work out (company failed) Trust me. It is super hard as a short man
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:38 PM
3

Yeah. I’m under 5’7 and currently unemployed. lol
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:28 PM
6

Some combo of tall great looking and cash Got to have two out of three I’m screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 01:14 PM
1

We are in the divorce process Life is shitty right now Lost my job. Not a lot of friends or family Not trying to date I miss my wife and family. But she was t willing to really try to save things (She faked reconciliation for several months while still lying about secret friendships with divorced men at work )
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 01:08 PM
4

For me working out is primarily for my mental health It makes me calmer happier and more resilient Secondly for my physical health. Last for aesthetics. I go to the gym usually 5-6 days a week. I don’t go super hard but I have a routine that works most muscle groups and some cardio That said-yeah. I do want to look better and I do hope to date and find a relationship If I found a woman similar to my wife at her core I could see living together again My wife was almost perfect. She was just never…
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 02:03 PM
2

It sure explains my marriage We dated for two years. Lived together the next three years before marriage At each stage sex dropped and after our first child it was never really a part of our lives (hot and heavy when she wanted baby two-we conceived easily and quickly and otherwise once a month until she hit menopause
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:30 PM
1

And the person shutting down sex is usually the woman. Who much more easily finds it when her libido comes back by being free. SMH.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:28 PM
2

Describing my life. Makes me regret our second child (who resisted having because the bed was dead and she shut down date nights and getaways since the first was born) It’s almost like all she wanted was someone reliable to have kids with and help cover the bills while she chased her career to the further detriment of our marriage…..
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:26 PM
1

Our problems became more problematic around ten years of marriage (15 together). But instead of getting help or getting out she covered up her feelings while still not trying to meet any of her agreements to me and eventually I became an a hole.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:23 PM
1

Lesbians stereotypically move in and therefore more likely marry very quickly though. Shorter time knowing someone usually contributes to marital failure
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:21 PM
1

The unseen and often disagreed about line between reasonable privacy and harmful secrecy is the end of most marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:19 PM
1

Similar situation We are negotiating settlement. I’m not asking for permanent support But I should get what she would get if the tables were turned Divorce of course is her idea. We both let each other down in many ways during our marriage though it also still had good times and affection up to the end For me at least. She was apparently just gritting her teeth for the last 5-10 years out of 24 married (30 together)
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 09:09 PM
1

Good for you Are you tall good looking or rich or some combination of the three Because I’m reasonably fit not broke and I don’t think ugly but I’m short and mostly invisible to women.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 05:59 PM
1

Considering this.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 03:11 PM
1

lol. Take a legal document personally why don’t you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:59 PM
1

It’s not a question of a lender being ‘a good one’ or not It depends on the original mortgage documents which will stipulate if assumption is allowed or not And likely also makes a difference if the loan has been sold or not
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:58 PM
2

horseshit toxic positivity many of us going through divorce combined with middle age unemployment and estrangement from family members beyond the issues with wife and kids yeah. ok. i seem to be healthy. right. thanks for setting the bar so GD low ok. i've got some savings. that were supposed to be for retirement or something fun. not paying my day to day bills. etc. ​ fuck gratitude
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 09:55 PM
8

Im hoping to kick myself in the ass with the new year. But it will never stop sucking. Also a child of a divorce that made a huge negative impact on my outcomes as a person and a professional Worried about my kids. And myself.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 10:32 PM
12

Roughly the same. I tried to bridge the gap between us in all the ways but when she chose to create more distance and chase obsessive friendships and her career instead of leaning back into our relationship I got very angry depressed bitter etc. and proceeded to beat that horse until it was dead I wish we’d tried to get professional help ten years ago I think we’d have gotten back on track and be happily headed towards retirement and staying together
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 09:40 PM
6

Start fighting back She wants it both ways F that Make her own her choice to cheat and divorce
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 06:44 PM
10

To be fair they all get tired of the same man. Income might speed this up
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:58 PM
1

Truth
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:57 PM
8

Why are you in this sub if you’re happily married
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 07:57 PM
8

That’s a BS move. I’d fight this tooth and nail Kid can make their own choice at 18.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 02:23 PM
6

I have found talk therapy very limited. Tried three different times to address my own issues as well as did joint counseling with all three (from 2015-2022) None gave me any real strategies or tools or resources to change I’ve had anger issues my whole life. Never physical but my anger is what destroyed my marriage even more than my wife’s detachment and disengagement Idk the answer. I’ve had a lot of setbacks and rarely handled them well Just a lot of immaturity that persists to this day and no…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 01:58 PM
1

She was never supporting me but earned $20-40k more over the last 10 years of the marriage I continued to pay the mortgage and household bills (utilities etc) a share of groceries etc. Divorce was her idea. We both made mistakes. I own mine while she takes no responsibility for hers. I had the best job of my career for the final two years we were together but got downsized a year into separation and we are now collaborating a settlement prior to filing. Chances are high that I won’t find anythin…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 02:46 PM
2

I have a different take My parents split up when I was 11 after he moved across country My dads career took off My mom worked a series of crappy csr type jobs I went from upwardly rising middle class to lower middle class while my brother and steps lived very well My dad was not consistent on his payments. He made little effort to have a relationship with me It’s probably why I’m here now My wife put everything above our relationship Her career is a rocket heading to the stratosphere Mine has ta…
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 01:42 PM
2

I’m not seeking permanent support why shouldn’t I be treated similarly to any other lower earning spouse in this situation after a 24 yr marriage Where her business and personal travel put a serious strain on our marriage and impacted my career when she was gone She will continue to climb her ladder and have a comfortable retirement while I’m just hoping to make it to social security without tapping into the asset split too heavily
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/23 12:52 PM
1

lol Right Been commission sales my entire career in one filed and I don’t have it in me anymore. Have applied for 100’s of support roles in my industry.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:57 PM
3

Whoa. Stbxw makes close to $140k assuming she got a COLA raise I’m unemployed I Only made more than $70k 5-6 times in our 24 years together We are negotiating a settlement She is offering 3 years at $2500/month I’m going to counter for 7 years on a declining scale
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 09:13 PM
4

I’m Jewish so Xmas is always a quiet day with wife and kids I had one night of Chanukah not 8 It all sucks
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:46 PM
4

The first year of my entire life with no thanksgiving at all
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:04 PM
3

I went back home to stay with my daughter there several times between June 2022 and January 2023 when my ex travelled for work Talk about strange Waking up in my old bed. My old house. The only thing missing was her My 15 yr old won’t stay at my place.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 11:01 PM
1

It all started with kids. No getaways or date nights. Justified by ‘I don’t care if you go to games with your friends’ Argued against me coming to 4 out of state high school reunions with her Broke a promise to take me on a weekend for my 40th and then doubled her work and personal solo travel Three years later When she added a weekend to a work trip for the second time in four months to chase after a yoga teacher that asked her not to visit I snapped and went on a two year marriage career and f…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 08:51 PM
1

Ex’s rationale was that our problems that started our decline grew out of obsessive friendships that she prioritized over our marriage. And I ultimately became an angry insecure and slightly controlling partner which led to the real catastrophes of the marriage. But yeah. My answer to her was that if she felt she couldn’t have platonic friendships because of how I’d become we needed to try to deal with that honestly or split up 5-7 years ago Instead she hid everything from me except the most mun…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 07:28 PM
1

I have a long term best friend who is a woman My wife asked me the difference between her friend and mine She was my friend before I even knew my wife They always knew each other and had a light friendship before a falling out I chose my wife over this friend and lost my friend for about a year I’d say (my friend was in the wrong) I allowed my wife to not invite this friend to our wedding risking but ultimately not losing the friendship over this (she showed up anyway. lol!!!) My friend has live…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 07:08 PM
9

They worked together at a co working space. I heard about his daughter that my daughter was friends with I heard a little about his ex wife but not that they were divorcing I barely heard his name for 3-4 years until she told me she had no attraction for me on any level While we were supposedly working on our marriage I found out they were the only two in an open floor plan with lots of vacant space to set up their cubes next to each other Eventually found out about the round the clock messaging…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:49 PM
10

Within the confines of a committed relationship there are some basic ground rules to protect the core relationship but otherwise of course they’re fine My wife hid her male best friend from me for the last 3 years of our marriage And others.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 05:00 PM
5

You can negotiate whatever terms you agree on but the court can still modify or object to them
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 08:37 PM
2

For sure She couldn’t be honest She didn’t honor agreements and took advantage of me I know it was not intentional at first. At some point it was And it’s crazy. We still had so many good times I’d never give up those years seeing my son through high school but of course wish I hadn’t lost 6-10 years that I could have been building a new life Of course if she’d been honest ten years ago maybe we could have fixed it
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 08:01 PM
3

She didn’t really mistreat me She just withdrew more and more and faked being happy and present Took all of her emotional intimacy and intellectual curiosity to others At some point it was conscious At some point it became outright stonewalling and gaslighting That’s when I leaned very hard into being a dick And ruined any chance of repair
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 06:32 PM
6

I never thought the marriage was bad I thought it was ok but needed to be much better Stbxw said she agreed but did the opposite for several years before I became an intolerable asshole over her actions
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 02:09 PM
3

Also 53. Separated for two years. Expecting a first settlement offer tomorrow but it hasn’t come for three weeks as promised (we are doing a collaborative divorce settlement) Everything sucks. Yeah. I’m also unemployed
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 01:49 PM
15

Over moderation kills conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 01:22 AM
4

I go to live music 1-3 times a week. Still hard to meet strangers.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 04:13 PM
1

working on finding a job. not easy. of course that is my top priority. in a pickle. don't really want to continue with my decades long career. would take a step back in the industry but support and ops roles hard to find. would do a complete change but esp. hard after so long in one field and at my age there is likely some discrimination going on esp. with algorithms that make most decisions on whether or not to even interview someone plenty of folks in my situation find women tho. that said-i n…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:39 PM
4

it's a mostly terrible sub. but a good eye opener/reality check. many of the women there are what those of us in middle age can expect to deal with: many believe they are financially secure (whether through their own success or a good divorce settlement) (most of any gender are mistaken and are nowhere near prepared for what's coming for most of us-a long slow expensive decline) many are abundant in friends, family and other responsibilities and only want the perfect man in their life most claim…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 04:35 PM
1

Need a job. If I could get a job and a girlfriend I’d be good Both seem very far away
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/23 12:48 PM
10

Tough man I had some questions about my wife’s extremely close relationship with two female yoga teachers but I think one was an unrequited crush and the other just an obsessive friendship I wish mine was divorcing me for a woman but she just hates me
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:58 PM
3

Mine are awful. No sense of follow up. I wouldn’t last a day in my business like that
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:31 PM
4

I would not have let her in Jr can face time her with his new pet
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 11:11 PM
1

Nah. It wasn’t like that This was about a year ago when we would take long walks together if I promised not to talk about our marriage (She’d already said she was set on divorce but agreed not to move forward yet) Spoiler alert. I was unable to refrain from talking about the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 05:38 PM
2

Meetup is really only an option in larger cities It’s dead where I live (small southern state capitol)
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:26 PM
1

She said she could never date the guy that was her secret best friend at work for four years because he is too anxious. But weeks later as we discussed divorce and I said you can finally be with him she was upset when she said ‘he has a serious girlfriend now’
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 03:04 PM
1

Only works if both partners are hot enough to find steady partners Even then Jealousy or feelings for a new partner break it up An open marriage turns a no fault divorce into an everyone’s fault divorce
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 02:56 PM
2

Honestly I think it was only emotional affairs But who knows. Only my wife And these other guys.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 02:53 PM
7

Couple of weeks later I asked what she would be doing if I agreed to that ‘It wouldn’t be fair if you were doing it and I couldn’t.’ Later said she ‘wasn’t interested in sex’ Liar. Still don’t know if she cheated or not
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:35 PM
25

yes. my stbxw offered an open marriage 'so (i) could find someone to have sex with'. of course my first question was 'are you already cheating or do you have someone in mind'
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 07:31 PM
7

There are theories that the pill makes women attracted to men they otherwise wouldn’t be Then they get off the pill and wonder why they don’t want sex. My stbxw rarely turned me down. I didn’t initiate much because it was one sided She generally got up for it about the time of ovulation Most of 24 year marriage was about once a month
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 01:17 PM
1

My soon to be ex got off birth control when we conceived our first son and never went back on them Of course, this impacted spontaneity and overall enjoyment of sex I wonder whether her initial attraction to me to begin with was impacted by the pills as I’ve heard some suggest this happens Later in the marriage, she was on thyroid medication for years and years and I’m now learning that can also impact libido
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:46 PM
1

Too late
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:44 PM
3

I’ve been active throughout my marriage and my life But still. The gym is what I count on to feel better afterwards. I don’t go hard enough when I’m working out alone But I’m very very consistent. If I could pass on the IPA’s I might have something something going on lol
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/23 03:21 AM
19

He’s 18. It’s not like he’s under 15. Live your life.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 05:42 PM
1

I’m glad she wasn’t a drunk I wish she would have enjoyed going out for a drink and hearing a band with me Or anything much. With me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 01:52 AM
1

Mine is always sober. So very sober.
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/23 12:11 AM
3

i'm not going after or expecting lifetime alimony. 24 year marriage, though, and she is well into a six figure salary and i paid up to 990% of my take home some years on mortgage/etc. (although she paid for kid's private school, that i didn't want to do, and most of their healthcare etc) cheaper to keep me. and she's a saver not a spender. so that tells you how much she wanted me gone ​ though at the time she admitted she had no attraction or love for me (on any level) i was making the most i'd …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 07:30 PM
2

We are working on a collaborative divorce I was told there would be a first settlement offer today but I’m betting it won’t arrive My stbxw began out earning me ten years ago and now I’ve lost my job last year She has been reasonable so far and she is different from most women. Logical. Not emotional. Etc. The main issue will probably be how long she will pay alimony and how much child support I will pay (daughter is 16 next month) I’d still try to work things out. So lonely We were so good exce…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:08 PM
1

I sure as shit hate being alone But nobody chases me and I have nothing to offer so alone I will be Until I die. Hopefully soon.
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 03:14 PM
9

Sounds like you’re plan B
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:31 PM
3

I wasn’t sure about having a 2nd because of how my wife shut down our actual marriage after the first I don’t regret having the 2nd child But I think the marriage would have more likely improved without having her Of course. We could have sought therapy ten years ago when we hit the breaking point instead of dragging it out so long and both of us getting worse
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 12:21 PM
5

Two years ago today was my first morning in an Airbnb after living in our home for 18 years. It was supposed to be a 60-90 day healing separation I lived back at home and slept in our bed with her for the next 7 months I nearly moved back a few times. But I knew she wasn’t really all in and holding back She barely showed up or participated in counseling She was still hiding so much from me We are working on collaborative divorce and I expect an initial settlement offer this week In my third rent…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/23 01:20 PM
3

What state are you in. Some states her actions could still be construed as infidelity and reduce your alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 12:21 AM
-7

I’d do it. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 02:37 PM
3

None of them are responsive They take on too many clients and don’t have enough support Switching is only going to cost you more money getting the new one up to speed
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/23 02:27 PM
6

move forward with a DIY divorce. have an attorney review it before you file. get this settled before she moves another man into her home and your daughter's life. 100% guarantee she is not going to be as amicable as she says and this other guy will speed her along ​ no idea why you'd be ok with this whole thing other than a strong dose of hopium
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/23 07:04 PM
5

Not dating yet as divorce is in process and my atty says it could still be used against me (even after 2 years apart and 16 months since she said she was done and the last night we spent together) But I’ve met 3-4 women who are different versions of my ex or of our dynamic (Even without sex in the picture) One thing I can say is I’m very focused on being as detached as possible from outcomes with anyone or anything anymore I intend to avoid ever being so enmeshed in another person’s life and all…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 06:39 PM
1

Patient? For what?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 09:42 PM
1

Because she’s too busy with the things that matter to her Her job The house Friends Yoga Her mom. I’m still the lowest priority
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 09:41 PM
1

And my wife who is the one that didn’t want to work things out is dragging her ass in getting it done I’m the only one pushing it forward because I have no choice
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 07:22 PM
1

Could be considered infidelity and used against me
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 03:05 PM
5

Infidelity can influence settlements in my state. (SC) Yes. They can still call it infidelity even tho it has been since May 2022 that my wife and I slept together SMH. Not as it there are many options for me anyway
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 12:32 PM
6

December 4 will be two years since I moved out. Divorce is still in process. My attorney says I’m not supposed to be seeking any kind of companionship the holidays are rough. A lot of old friends are coming back into town for Thanksgiving weekend. Well a few of them are Frenemies, but it will still be nice to see a bunch of people I haven’t seen in years Versus being alone instead of with my wife and family for the first time since 1994
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/23 11:50 PM
0

Appreciate your rare honesty Most women won’t admit this. The bigger cosmic joke is the natural discrepancy between most men and most women regarding sexual desire
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 08:26 PM
2

Always
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 08:23 PM
40

Men are thirsty and we typically will drink anything offered. Nothing is usually offered. We have to chase and stand out to connect Women are mostly not interested and of course have overwhelming numbers of thirsty dudes to choose from. So why would they choose obvious drama
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 05:23 PM
1

In the midst of collaborative divorce Hoping we have a first settlement before the end of the month. But these attorneys have no sense of urgency I rejected working with the ‘divorce coach’ when she took a 3 week vacation right at the start of our process and couldn’t find 15 minutes for s phone call regarding the difficult situation with my 15 yr old daughter Divorce coach If we could work as a team we wouldn’t be divorcing
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 05:17 PM
-1

lol She was never a pocket pussy What a husband I would have been if she had been. 😂😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/23 11:11 PM
1

It’s comical 23 months since move out 15 months since she quit pretending we were working on things She doesn’t want me in any way I should be free to seek out friends….and such
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 05:11 PM
1

I’m in SC. Infidelity still a thing here
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 03:21 PM
3

Separated since December 2021 Collaborative divorce in process My attorney says I can’t seek companionship on apps or irl. It could cause an infidelity claim and hurt settlement Legally-until the divorce is final you’re not supposed to
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:35 PM
4

Why are you paying this much. That should be reviewed every year or two based on her income and yours
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 08:55 PM
1

The last thing I want to do is hear about my stbxw’s partners or relationships Mine also says she is ‘not interested in sex’ (or dating) but I don’t believe her ESP since some secret guy friend of hers was stalking me recently. SMH
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 09:38 PM
1

If both spouses work and contribute
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 12:51 PM
2

The gym is about feeling empowered healthy and having good energy more than how you look after working out If you keep going back for the right reasons you’ll see progress
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 02:21 PM
3

Very few women experience being alone the same way men do As for dating there’s no comparison. Women have options. Men have scarcity
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 02:20 PM
3

There is always another man or other men encouraging her to break away, and there to help break the fall
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 03:55 AM
10

That’s terrible I’m sorry Maybe you and your son should schedule a session with a family counselor He should know this is hurting you (esp if the divorce was not your idea)
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 07:19 PM
4

I’ve got several friends of my stbxw actually stalking me in real life It’s comical. I can take all of them (dudes). Let’s find out if I’m right boys.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 02:06 PM
2

Slight respect for him coming out of the shadows Less for being such a pussy about it (Pretended to bump into me in a crowd and gave a little shove. Sort of snuck up on me. Two days after I’d sent wife a photo of him stalking me at a different event 3 days earlier) Apparently he had two other guys w him that I didn’t see So. I don’t even know what they look like Fyi bro. She does not like that kind of immature emotionally insecure pissing on territory kind of behavior. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 12:58 PM
8

Mine is the higher earner. We are anticipating the first settlement proposal sometime in the next week or two (we are doing A collaborative divorce to reduce legal fees) The financial intermediary anticipates my stbx fighting spousal support (I lost my best ever housing industry job last year before we got the process started and having the single worst year of my life financially) I told her. Cheaper to keep me I thought we could work things out and ride out tough times Meanwhile. Two weeks ago…
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 02:10 PM
11

It’s easier because there are always so many telling them to go ‘live their best life’ (enjoy all the male attention and pretend they are on a dating tv show)
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/23 12:33 PM
62

She’s got a man on her mind. Sorry man. Most of them are like this
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 10:27 PM
3

There are still at fault states. If OP is in one he will get a better financial outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 01:45 PM
4

I wanted kids. After she abandoned our marriage it was 5 years later saying we couldn’t wait any longer for number two I told her I didn’t think the marriage could handle another 5 years without date nights and a couple of weekends getaways for us as a couple She said it would be different It was. She doubled down on her work and solo trips. Jokes on her. She’s the much higher earner. Cheaper to keep me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 06:32 PM
2

It’s not even a mortgage. Assumptions are difficult to get even with a mortgage. There is no reason for the lender to release any obligated parties A divorce decree can require her to refi or pay off but is unenforceable. Unless the courts force her to sell
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 02:39 PM
1

That credit ought to be enough for her to refi but of course depends on her income and other debts and in this case the value of the collateral Mobile homes are a terrible purchase. Lose value and hard to finance or sell.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:04 PM
3

No lender will release you from the deal without a refi If the payment prevents you from being approved a lender will ignore the debt if your ex provides proof that she has made the past 12 payments from her own funds on time.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 12:02 PM
2

The downside is that if she can’t refi any late payments will screw your credit. I’m a mortgage lender fyi. Here to answer any questions I can (only licensed in my home state tho)
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 11:23 AM
3

FHA will only lend on a mobile home if the land is part of the deal The courts can require her to refinance or sell, but I do not think they can enforce it especially if it is her primary residence Since it is not actually real estate, the existence of the debt will not prevent OP from buying a new home Best pet for OP is to get the courts to award him whatever percentage of the property and accept payoff from her in the form of payment or a lump sum
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 11:11 AM
3

An edited bit honest version of the truth Without letting yourself off the hook or making your ex the only fuck up
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 03:40 AM
2

What the what!!!! This is nuts. How????
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 03:06 PM
1

Wow! I’m sorry man
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 03:05 PM
1

So many cliches but it remains my favorite Aerosmith career reinvention song Tell me what it takes to let you go Tell me how the pain's supposed to go Tell me how it is that you can sleep in the night Without thinking you lost everything that was Good in your life to the toss of the dice?
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/23 03:03 PM
6

Just be glad you know exactly where she stands (though she’s more likely kneeling) You know she’s done. And you can’t take her back now. This is so good for you Get mad Get out
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:18 PM
15

Ugh. She’s disgusting Get a lawyer now She needs to move into her own place stat.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 06:14 PM
4

They come over 1 on 1 or as a group It could easily be harmless. Chances are it is at least social and friendly It comes down to trust She has issues with it on her side already Sounds like an unhealthy or at least imperfect relationship Like all Of Them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 03:40 PM
1

I never drink at home but drink more when I go out than I used to Shit is expensive
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 01:52 PM
3

lies on top of lies won’t help She will see them and be closer with them after the divorce They need to know this wasn’t your idea
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 01:47 PM
4

Reject this bullshit How old are the kids Honestly. Doesn’t matter I would tell them at least part of The truth
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 01:17 PM
4

It also helps them land supermodels at 70-80 Lol
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 12:26 PM
5

I’m saying that I am desperate and lonely, and would easily betray my own values for some attention from a woman married or not
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 07:24 PM
3

Easier said than done. But yeah.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 06:47 PM
3

Ugh Seriously tacky dude Assuming they were not separated ***note. Lonely and desperate and would not turn down a married woman The fact that I admit this keeps me from being a hypocrite but i would suck more if I had the chance to fail that test
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 06:28 PM
6

Wow, that is really high given the fantasy that we’ve been sold that women need an emotional connection for sex I would expect that form and the number would be more like 95%
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 06:27 PM
6

It needs reform And I say that as someone that will receive support
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 04:21 PM
14

It’s all one pile of income and assets It will get split 50/50 (or worse for you) You’ll be paying at least half your income in child support and alimony for many years. This will make finding a new partner much harder for you and much easier for her (and it’s already easier for her) Good luck brother I’m the lower earner to my corporate climbing wife
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 01:37 PM
2

Can you join them? Watch? Help with lighting? I’m sorry man. at least you know it’s not you specifically
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 11:46 AM
15

I’m sorry brother My 15 yr old daughter has basically cut me out of her life She will come over for dinner if her brother comes He just got a job two hours away I’m close to where you are I’m too attached to the mostly one sided and hollow friendships I have here after 35 years here But I think a lot about taking off. After the divorce is final.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 02:44 AM
3

Struggled with work for years. I’m in decent enough shape but short Starting over harder the later you need to do it
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 06:51 PM
2

We are doing a collaborative divorce She’s going to pay but tbd on how much for how long Currently receiving $2500/month Wouldn’t be surprised if it was set there minus me paying a small amount Back in child support
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 02:48 PM
5

Whoa. Which state? My attorney says we have a shot at lifetime alimony but I doubt it Mostly because I’m male. But I’m sure I’ll get at least 8 years (1/3 of marriage) She makes $140k and rising After losing my best job ever I’ve made about $16k this year.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:38 PM
2

Ok. So best case is alimony for 3-5 years Worst case might be 8-10 years to get the youngest through potential college age?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:37 PM
4

How old are the kids? If they are young you are going to likely pay both alimony and child support longer Rule of thumb is 1 year for every three of the marriage But tbd.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:30 PM
9

Good for you Many won’t have your experience Ever
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 12:47 PM
2

It’s unlikely I’m really ready for a real relationship I’d love some companionship sex and non sexual affection So far. No prospects
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 06:08 PM
3

I’m willing to fuck around and find out So far no Luck
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 04:30 PM
9

For whatever reason I suppose it helped push her to the end I thought we got along great during lockdown We each had separate areas for our home office (tho mine was set up in the family room and I sometimes had meetings as late as 8 pm starting) Maybe it was the isolation from Her work friends. Especially those she hid from me? I thought we were in the best place together that we’d been in years
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 12:07 PM
2

Awesome attitude brother. I wish I could get there Not knowing for sure about cheating is harder
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 04:07 PM
1

How many men????
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 04:05 PM
6

Lol. For sure. For you tho? It happens. But usually for chad.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 12:12 PM
13

And a lot less so after living together paying bills raising kids etc. Blame Disney.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 11:57 AM
5

It never comes back Or at least it only comes back a few days a month when they are ovulating They sure get in the mood quickly and frequently when they want another kid
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 11:56 AM
12

I feel seen. It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/23 11:55 AM
3

Wow. I see you brother. I see you in the mirror. But I want to be open to a new person
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 05:13 PM
2

Mine was interested when she was in grad school and we were new. By the time we were married she was clearly over it For many years she’d say why don’t we do that more. I finally told her if I have to initiate every time it starts to feel one sided It never changed much at all
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:06 PM
3

It’s not about the quantity. Though the happiest marriages report at least once a week even after years and years.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 03:14 PM
0

I did it all for the nookie (But barely got it. Dang. I’ll be getting back out there soon. Everything should be filed with the courts within 60 days and then I should be free…of course. I’d still rather fix things. But it ain’t happening)
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 12:41 PM
5

It’s crazy to me that my stbxw plans to stay in our home
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 02:37 AM
5

Ah. Yeah. Mine was emotionally blocked with me but had so many secretive obsessive emotionally intimate friendships When I found out about this pattern and the many ways she favored them over me I became angry insecure paranoid and jealous and eventually broke any chance of happily ever after with my actions Then she checked out more and hid everything for 6 years until she snapped
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 10:12 PM
2

I wish I’d done it from the start Maybe it would have made a difference
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 09:43 PM
1

Moved on as in another person? If I knew for sure I think I’d let go the rest of the way Otherwise I’m right there with you. Still. . 14 months since she said she was done Plus another 7 we lived together on weekends only
/r/Divorce_Men12/09/23 09:42 PM
3

You need any attorney You should get approximately half the home equity and potentially some spousal support based on the income differential only
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 01:10 PM
1

My wife is not coming back.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 04:20 AM
0

Which is so odd because Publix is known to be owned by a politically and culturally conservative Christian family
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:40 AM
1

I think the spirit of the question is more about who quit on the marriage/wanted the divorce My wife quit the marriage. Apparently years ago I got the paperwork started but I’m expecting her to be the plaintiff meaning officially she’s the one pushing this
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:19 AM
1

We have instituted a new plan for me and the kids (22,15) to have dinner on Sunday nights. Son also went to the gym w me today and ate w me on Friday night The most time I’ve spent with family in a year
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:12 AM
1

My parents split up when I was 10. Dad remarried a year later and mom started dating the man she remarried a year or so after that. I never called either of my steps mom or dad and just called them by their names Both second marriages had problems Ironically my step dad is dying from the same circumstances as my step mom who passed in 2014.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:08 AM
1

It’s certainly a calculated decision to pander to divorced and remarried women (granted. I assume women still do more of the grocery shopping. Though in our marriage we both ran to the store near daily for things) It is certainly an affront to divorced fathers.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 03:06 AM
1

My stbxw will definitely go on to live her best life On a corporate ladder and will likely double her high income in the next 3-5 years Has tons of close friends all over the world. Will be traveling for work and fun Has aged well. Will have no problem finding good looking smart successful men I’m the one getting hit hard by fate.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 10:20 PM
7

I had three consults and was charged for all of them I also wore out my welcome with a coupe of friends who are lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 07:47 PM
3

You have them every weekend? That’s not a fair situation
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 02:10 PM
1

False. His wife is not meeting the normal and reasonable standards for a marriage The needs of a child outweigh the needs of a parent The wants of a parent outweigh the wants of a child In a healthy family that is
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 01:32 PM
8

Baloney Women do as well as they want to Because they have the prize in their pants. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 01:26 PM
2

Therapists are not supposed to tell their patients what to do or give them advice but unfortunately it sounds like a lot of them do this for their female patients
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 11:55 AM
1

There are always other branches for women
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 11:54 AM
13

TBD If we knew for sure what our wives wanted we wouldn’t be here Good luck
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 11:53 AM
4

There’s no wall Most reasonably attractive women can easily get all the attention they want and then some Commitment is harder but they can have all the hot hookups they want
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 11:24 AM
26

I’m sorry this happened But I’m happy for your success in dealing with it
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 02:20 AM
3

I go out frequently. Usually alone though I often see people I know as I tend to go to the same bars I drink more when I go out than I did when I was married I hardly drink at home at All Idk. It’s hard Weekends are the worst
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 07:30 PM
1

It’s better than if he has a giant one but body shaming another dude for something he has no control over that we know society and women use to shame is all is shitty He’s still f’ng your wife with his small dick.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 03:53 PM
1

Inaccurate Mildly attractive women continue to get all the attention they want into their 50’s That said. They rarely get commitment from the men they actually want and end up settling again either for another eventual divorce or a series of LTR’s They will always get back to ilybinilwy
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 03:41 PM
5

I like the way you think.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:53 PM
2

I know. I wish she’d shut that shit down when we’re together 😂😂 Sorry bro. I had to.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 11:56 AM
2

Define ‘significant’?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:11 AM
3

Sorry. That is disgusting Wow
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:09 AM
3

Women always have attention from men At least up to 60 or so. Always. More about biological clock and wanting kids
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:08 AM
1

Oxy only sustainable with one partner? Does that mean a woman with a LTR under her belt is already going to struggle to pair bond with next partner?
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 12:02 AM
5

Statistically speaking people with more partners are more likely to cheat.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 09:46 PM
2

I know what I should have done differently But could it have ever worked since she resisted communication. If I had led more on bringing our relationship back into the focus after the kids needs were handled. Would she have come along
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:08 PM
2

Mine was an odd mix. Very traditional values but a go getter career focused person But she wanted to be married more than she wanted a husband. She wanted kids and stopped being a partner.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 04:02 PM
3

Wow I’m also positive my mother in law has been against me for at least 7-10 years and never liked me
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 03:23 PM
4

The company she keeps. SMH.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 12:26 PM
12

Including the secret best friend divorced guy at work. Hidden for 4 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 10:14 PM
46

I’m positive my wife’s friends all encouraged her to divorce me
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 02:25 PM
0

My new cat is having trouble adjusting to my home. Not sure it’s going to work out I had three with my ex and family. All adjusted immediately. TBD.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 12:03 AM
1

Ok. But part of a legal/business transaction for her
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 03:52 PM
5

I wonder about my son My daughter looks so much like me Son was first. I don’t even know if my stbx actually ever cheated or not
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 03:34 PM
3

I would not expect a thank you for a court ordered payment that symbolizes all the worst parts of your former marriage I’m going to get some support from my ex and I won’t be thanking her for it (because of the way she lied to me and never tried to be open and work on the marriage )
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 03:31 PM
1

Same 15 yr old daughter only spends time with me if her older brother is along Paying $400/month more than my mortgage and a smaller crappier house. Better than the $650 more I paid in my prior rental in a worse area. Only silver lining is that my wife is the higher earner so she will feel the sting of her decision Of course I’m more worried about getting a new job It all sucks I stilll think it’s unnecessary That we could solve this and stay together.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 01:41 PM
1

Or a refi
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:45 PM
1

My bad. I’m a lender but have never been involved with an assumption Makes sense. Of course you’d need to update title and deed etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:43 PM
2

Quit claim gets you off title and deed but not the loan/mortgage. It would still be on your credit and you’d face the consequences of late payments or foreclosure and it could complicate your future home purchase
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 02:39 AM
2

One year wouldn’t matter But 15 months ago I would have moved back home when offered and tried to fix things from back in the house 20 months ago I wouldn’t have moved out at all. 22 months ago I would have sought counseling for us as soon as she told me she had ‘no attraction for me on any level: physically emotionally or intellectually
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:46 AM
2

Wells told us they allow them Wife is keeping the house She will have to buy me out. 19 years living there. Longest I’ve stayed anywhere 3 places in 18 months since leaving
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:44 AM
2

Equity is appreciation Equity=current market value minus existing loan balance.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:42 AM
1

If you were on the mortgage and title and the lender wouldn’t allow an assumption there’s no other way to release you from the mortgage liability (credit reporting consequences)
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:40 AM
1

Some lenders will allow it for loans they service in house
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:38 AM
1

Assumptions don’t require closing costs It’s the best way to go if you can settle equity distribution out of other assets and the lender allows it
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:38 AM
1

The escrow account from the old loan will be refunded to you 30-60 days after closing. Yes. A refi requires more or less the same process as a purchase most of the time
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:37 AM
1

Refinancing requires title work sometimes an appraisal lenders fees etc.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:36 AM
1

Closing costs should never be more than about 2-2.5% of the loan amount
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:35 AM
2

Most of them don’t have the options they think they do They can get dates attention and sex from almost any man Very few can get the man they want to commit to them Hence the higher failure rate of second marriages Many women settle again and resent it faster.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:27 AM
9

Mine told everyone else how lucky she was to have me But she just liked my co parenting and support of her travel for her career Wouldn’t go on getaways Obviously a dead bedroom
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:25 AM
0

My 15 yr old won’t spend time w me unless her older brother is with her She did see a period of constant fighting w me and her mom and she’s always been mommy’s girl to the max If my ex thought she’d lose half her time with our daughter she wouldn’t have moved forward with this. Maybe she would have made actual conscious open effort to help us fix things.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 04:38 PM
4

It’s fantastic that you picked up that phone I don’t regret anything I learned from snooping I needed to know those things I wish I had managed conversations about those things better
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 03:01 PM
10

My stbxw was hyper focused on Our kids Her mother Her job. Her friends Our sex life never came back after the first kid…about once a month the rest of the way She shut down date nights and weekend getaways. Eventually I got fed up with being her last priority and became a raging asshole. I should have insisted on counseling ten years ago. Now. 53. And alone. Job has crashed. Not looking good to ever retire
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 01:39 AM
3

Sounds like OP is a ‘chad’. Except he married her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 01:36 AM
1

https://www.consolatio.com/2005/05/the_first_days_.html I was introduced to this piece from a comic book
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/23 02:18 PM
-1

She did not have a rule because she had sex prior to exclusivity She’s a liar. Be careful
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:25 PM
2

It’s a two way street Women believe all this horseshit that they are the prize and we have to constantly be perfect
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 01:59 PM
16

No The wife had it wrong In marriage and family you must also focus on the spouse and kids Not just yourself That’s what middle aged women do
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 01:58 PM
2

Idk about ‘genetically inadequate’ but rather they have done studies that the hormonal birth control influences women to pick men they’re not attracted to who seem to have good parenting instincts
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 04:20 AM
4

Child support can be adjusted based on income change I don’t think alimony or settlements otherwise can be changed after the date of filing
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 01:21 AM
3

I was banned in dating over 50 I have no idea why Honestly. No personal attacks. The mod blocked me from contacting them and asking for an explanation
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 10:39 PM
1

I have nearly no relationship with my daughter. She doesn’t want one Son will hang out but it is strained
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 03:02 PM
12

On the standard divorce sub a woman posted about how women are statistically happier and healthier in their golden years when they are widows or divorced I posted the 1 in 8 divorced men commit suicide and got attacked They’re feeling guilty but not gonna admit it
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 11:36 AM
3

Life just sort of empties out/first a deluge than a drought/then a giant mushroom cloud Aimee Mann. Who writes better songs about mental illness and relationships than anyone. Ever
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:14 PM
5

Wow. Have not had that kind of separation Though we see each other less and less Maybe…4-5 times in the last 8 weeks? Idk. It’s wild. I think about what she’s up to all the time I don’t drive by the house as much but still end up there roughly once a week She’s started making changes. Painted a hallway Switched out the art around the house. Even moved some appliances and is keeping common areas less cluttered Yeah It’s all crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:12 PM
1

The idea that she doesn’t want to be together for our so called golden years To spend time w possible future grandchildren together Go on trips and enjoy the fruits of our labor which are instead going to attorneys and will be significantly less for retirement to begin with. I’ll probably burn most of it supplementing my income to begin with All I want is my wife and family back.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 11:18 AM
2

Hard to sympathize here. Plenty of us don’t easily get female attention I’m not on any apps and go out a lot but no idea how to go about it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 03:42 AM
1

I’m guilty of being a little slobby myself Trying to turn over a new leaf now that I’m living on my own (Obviously if I ever get a woman back here I’d like to have a somewhat clean space) Planning to have a cleaning service once a month and just make more effort to keep it clean Vision not great and I never seem to get things really clean.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 10:47 PM
1

Always had infrequent sex, no real intimacy, trust issues (on both sides) and awful communication. our bedroom was already heading for dead by the time we got married-we'd been together 5 years and lived together for 3 by that point. of course it got worse after kids i didn't count on being sidelined in her life overall-i became nothing but a co-parent to her she was against date nights or weekend getaways (my parents were begging to watch the kids and had proved reliable/safe with my brother's …
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:52 PM
6

did she ever admit it?
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:30 PM
14

she doesn't want her next 20 years to suck. my wife mentioned several times that the idea of the next 20 or 30 years with me (or more) filled her with dread it hurt but i understood we'd had some very high conflict esp. between 2013-2015 but regularly flaring up since then (though otherwise mostly what i'd call happy times together) i wanted to do counseling. to do whatever we could to fix it. but as clear from her failure to attend or participate in honest therapy when she bothered to attend th…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 06:29 PM
5

The marriage had high intensity fighting for about 2 full years between 2013-2015. Daughter was only 5-7 and it surely impacted our relationship (tho it was still ok until 2-3 years ago) Idk. she has always been her mother’s daughter. I’m angry about the way she treats me She learned to shut me out and ignore my reasonable engagement from her mom and I’m still working on managing my response to being ignored and disrespected
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 03:53 PM
4

Together 29 years married 24 if you count the past year of separation I still want to work it out but we are two months into our collaborative process and probably will reach settlement within 30-60 days and file with courts My job has crashed worse than ever but she’s been the higher earner for a decade and she will get hit hard financially. Son graduated college in May and living at home w her. So the family is together except for me Daughter won’t really talk to me or spend time
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:41 PM
6

They fuck. Just not their husbands
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 01:34 PM
9

This. Times 100.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 02:31 AM
2

Dispensable
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/23 02:30 AM
3

Best case scenario as hard as it is Should make it easier to hate her Get out of this living situation now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 04:02 PM
3

She doesn’t have to look for one. She just has to show up in any space irl or online
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 01:28 PM
2

Seriously. OP needs to get her out today
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 11:57 AM
16

She’s trash. What a terrible thing to do. Jesus.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:03 AM
1

My 15 yr old daughter will only spend time with me if her 22 yr old brother does I’m not even a father anymore
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/23 12:04 PM
6

Same. Together from 24-52 It is so easy for her to move on
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 03:43 PM
2

Wait and see. Less than a year.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:46 PM
1

Majority of the women there are the ones who filed and they hate men except those they can manipulate and use
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:10 PM
3

Any generalized observation even if qualified as ‘some women….’ Will get you banned.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 03:09 PM
1

Probably will hold mine. I’m sentimental still Though. It’s a thick gold band. If I could get $1000 I’d probably take it
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 09:31 PM
5

Our therapist agreed with my wife that it would be too traumatic for my 15 yr old to go back and forth between houses a mile away from each other So….I’m not even a part time father? Except when the stbx travels for work. When I’m expected to go stay at my old Home. SMH.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/23 01:25 AM
4

Men just don’t want an old woman like me with a child and I’ve noticed that men with kids just have a better time dating with kids than we do and I hate it! seriously. what she means is 'middle aged men with money (the only ones she wants) have no problem getting women' any woman can get easy sex or a good relationship...they are not willing to settle at all...or worse yet...they settle but are never settled on their choice and only a matter of time before they kill it or jump ship again
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/23 02:34 PM
1

I would not have accepted her sidelining of our relationship after our son was born I would have planned getways and informed her of the dates and that my folks would be watching our son with us I would not have agreed to a second child unless we had started having those getaways a couple times a year I would have insisted on counseling when she started having obsessive somewhat secretive friendships that were ultimately harmful for all parties These things would likely have led to a happier mar…
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 05:06 PM
1

I’ve sent and received texts for birthdays and mothers/Father’s Day We are not divorced but it is in process I sent her a note and called on our anniversary last week but she did not respond to either I’m closer to being over it but I’d still agree to try again if she came around today
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:58 PM
5

My old boss used to ask me if I wanted to be right or get paid. Both of course.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 04:42 PM
2

This is the attitude I’m getting from my actual biological daughter without the kind ‘see you never’ note Granted. To my knowledge there’s no AP or trips with one Teens are hard But OP’s more or less this girl’s father. So sorry for OP. And me.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/23 12:21 PM
1

man i hate it when men who can easily get sex don't understand how hard it is for the rest of us trust me-having any kind of physical interaction with women is better than none esp when you're feeling like shit
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 09:07 PM
1

it's more likely than if the husband is not finding any success but still a longshot i would like to know if my stbxw is dating or engaged with new men somehow (talking stage, whatever) but only as a sign that she is moving on which will spur me to more fully pursue finding companionship and sex i will not be having discussions about dating with her
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/23 09:03 PM
15

Mine failed at 5, 10, 15 and 23. This time it’s done
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:18 PM
10

I’m a simp. But I can change.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:16 PM
12

Role model.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 09:16 PM
1

Covid tho.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 04:49 AM
2

Gotcha. So it captures the boomers as they went Grey. And split. Idk man I’m def not the only one dealing with it now It sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 05:56 PM
2

Women never need to chase men except the ones they actually want who usually only fuck them since they have so many options themselves When women complain about men not being able to commit they are takkkng about those few lucky men that don’t have to
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:42 PM
2

So your husband didn’t want to continue to work on things?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:36 PM
1

My wife and I began as friends She escalated to dating to marriage to kids I was happy with her as a friend But loved her more the longer we were together Except for her chronic disregard for the health of the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:35 PM
1

Tells me you’re addicted to a spark that doesn’t exist after the first few years
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:34 PM
5

It’s a serious concept that has been watered down to make selfish women feel better about breaking up their families
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:31 PM
2

Boomers are in their 70’s mostly Gen x are in our early 50’s mostly Early 50’s is when most Grey divorces happen Usually the wife leaving
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 12:29 PM
3

a woman on the regular divorce sub posted about how she's so in love with her new man but can't cum from sex. she's only recently separated-not divorced-and this is an 'old guy friend from high school'. i mentioned that divorce is a big deal and she probably ought to wait a year before dating. all the women in the thread were telling her different things to try, to fake it till you make it, to enjoy it for what it is and not put pressure on it, etc. whenever a man posts a similar situation it is…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 07:11 PM
30

Double down on med school Get away from your terrible ‘wife’
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 12:03 PM
3

They all crazy And they all have almost no sex after marriage
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 05:28 PM
2

I’d like to think maybe she thought after some time period we might try again. But. You’ve got to have those conversations And if it means seeing others…I’m out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 12:06 AM
1

Lol I was obviously confused.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 12:05 AM
2

normal my wife told me last june she didn't want to work on it and was 100% for divorce i'm the one that had to eventually get appointments made to get the ball rolling granted-she stands to lose more $$$$ in the split so it makes sense for her to be happy to leave things alone and leave me in limbo that's why i ultimately got things moving. i'm stuck. she won't work on the marriage or spend time together and i'm not getting any younger...if i'm going to be alone i need to be free to do whatever…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:09 PM
1

talk with your attorney but you might consider enlisting a local real estate agent to put together a CMA (comparative market analysis). cheaper than an appraisal-uses the same market data on recent sales and is likely to be higher than an appraisal appraisals tend to be more conservative based on the recent sales of 'similar' homes cma's are what a realtor thinks the home could actually list for on the market-housing market is still hot most places despite interest rates there is not enough supp…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 08:52 PM
4

Interesting Certainly true that they are always pursued And let’s face it. Most men are not gonna go fatal attraction from having a casual fling with a married woman Although affairs usually end up blowing up one way or another (Usually? I wonder how many men vs women ‘get away with it’. )
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:13 AM
2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OIW4ARVbhrw She might be jiving too.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 01:10 AM
4

For sure See menopause empty nest and the fact that all of them prefer their female friends to their spouse for most of the marriage
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 10:02 PM
1

Wasn’t clear For sure women initiate almost all divorces and yes college degree makes it even more likely
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:56 PM
2

A Gordita? Juco? Huh?
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:55 PM
4

I don’t think 75% are cheating But I’ve been wrong
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 09:04 PM
1

do no marry this woman relationship is shaky before a kid? it will be worse after
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:35 PM
2

i've had so many dark nights (and afternoons) of the soul in the past 13 months since the wife said she did not want to try to work things out if i owned a gun i might not be here today
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:13 PM
1

I have a FWB but I would be perfectly content with a multi-year monk-mode at this point. calling bullshit on the guy saying he has regular sex but would be happy without it yes...i'm struggling and bitter and it's been more than a year
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:10 PM
2

women have stronger and deeper social and family support-and of course they have far easier access to romantic attention if they want it
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:08 PM
1

i'm so sorry for your loss. it sounds like you were a good son who did what you could to stay connected to your dad a lot of men commit suicide and it is almost always divorced ones
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:05 PM
8

either she is cheating or she is ready to (ie, has someone she's interested in-or a ton of fomo from hearing about her friends and their sexcapades on the apps)
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:02 PM
8

social media and smartphones were a huge part of the collapse of our marriage before these things became ubiquitous my wife had a handful of friends and her mom that she talked with regularly once facebook hit she had everyone she ever knew in contact constantly she said she thought i looked for her to provide too many roles for me (i disagree-i always maintained outside friends and hobbies-she did too) the truth is that she wasn't interested enough in me or having a real marriage between us whe…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 08:01 PM
2

this is how much my wife is done. she's the higher earner and will lose financially in the divorce. :(
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:58 PM
17

yes. they are losing the chemicals/hormones that make it possible to feel romantic love/attachment they'll generally always have unconditional love for their kids but the husband is just an accessory to their lives
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:55 PM
7

most importantly, how does she react in a crisis, when you're at a low, maybe you lost a job or you get depressed we lost most of the spark after we had kids i tried to get her back on board but she stonewalled and gaslit me i became pretty obsessed with why she didn't want to go on getaways and then lost my job and around that time she became involved in a series of somewhat secretive somewhat obsessive friendships with two (female) yoga teachers (who both ended the friendships because my indep…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:53 PM
5

i don't think it's anywhere near 90% but it's at least equal
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 07:47 PM
1

I’ll be ok financially but need income. I’d rather have my wife and family I’d have never quit trying to work on us and certain we are not that far from ok
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 08:24 PM
1

Yea. I’m going to get some kind of support I’d rather we made the same amount but unfortunately her devotion to her career and friends worked for her and against me Cheaper to keep me. But not in a roommate marriage which she suggested Or an open marriage where ‘it wouldn’t be fair if you were doing it and I wasn’t’. (Told her I’d do better single and that she must have someone in mind. Crickets )
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 07:48 PM
3

It’s definitely been going on more than the time she told you 2 months? I’d guess closer to a year at least.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 06:03 PM
1

I’d love to find a situation like this Or an actual girlfriend More than a year since I last slept in a bed with my wife Sigh
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:50 PM
4

No holding hands but definitely holding all else? Seems weird I’ve never had a FWB. But it seems to me if it is an actual friendship and doing things together and then you throw some sex in there it’s more of casual non exclusive dating situation
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 02:24 PM
1

Yeah. That’s tough.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:57 PM
1

How long have you had the house Homes are still increasing in value in nearly every market in the USA
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 09:47 PM
1

it won't matter. she'll have 3 more soon. probably already does.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 10:30 PM
2

we had a technically dead bedroom the entire marriage-roughly once a month-occasionally more-usually less but the sex we did have was very good...until the last 2 years....when it was clearly duty sex and she started having menopause issues that she was not interested in treating i'm sure she will seek treatment once she starts post divorce hook ups have not had sex since early may of last year-and even then it was not completed due to her issues. really no idea how to pick up women irl and have…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 10:16 PM
7

i understand man. 24 year anniversary on 8/1. we've been 100% separated since 5/21/22 (and were living together on weekends only since 12/4/21). paperwork for divorce has begun
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 02:14 PM
1

F’d up thing for your ex to say and trying to f up your new thing SMH. I’m guessing your ex is also the one that wanted divorce
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 12:21 PM
1

i'd love for my wife to take responsibility for her part in all of this.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:10 PM
3

get whatever you can from this horrible woman who used and discarded you
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:45 PM
2

no one should file bankruptcy over a few thousand in credit card debt. this will wreck his credit and finances for 7 years
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 05:44 PM
3

8 years, no kids? it should not be very much or very long. good luck and be glad you did not have children with this terrible person
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 01:31 PM
2

lol. it just takes showing up and being consistent.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 06:13 PM
1

if he was an airplane pilot (professionally i assume) he was gone all the time. tough on good marriages with loyal women
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:13 PM
3

an airline captain, side gig guitarist in a local cover band and Tae Kwan Do fifth degree black belt. He looks like Daryl Hall and actuality did some modeling when he was younger right? i'm a 5th degree black belt in tkd. but a struggling to failing mortgage lender, only enjoy seeing live music and look ok for women who can get past short, receding hairline and cute-but-ethnic don't worry. they can't get past short. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 04:12 PM
2

my situation is more complicated...i'm not there yet. i still want answers, truth. but if that was possible for her (with me) we wouldn't be here. we would have confronted our problems ON BOTH SIDES more maturely and consistently for a long time before things got so bad. i still think we can. ​ i hate her fake nice-ness. it's cold. it's insincere.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 01:44 PM
4

Fuck that. You don’t have to be nasty to not be nice
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:39 AM
1

Shut it down Explicitly
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:38 AM
21

She needs to move out Super shitty for either of you to jump into dating
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:35 AM
1

Idk how much that matters I’d say it’s more common that a walk away wife has a new man but sometimes it’s just emotional TBD.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:30 AM
1

my intuition is always somewhat right i don't know for a fact that she cheated physically but i knew she was not present with me for several years i kept asking her why she doesn't share more and she'd gaslight me: all i do is work found out she was actively hiding all of her social life from me, including new best friend/divorced guy at work that i had directly been asking about for almost a year (he'd been a close friend without my knowledge for at least 3 years)
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 07:08 PM
2

i don't know and somewhat doubt my wife had physical affairs. i'm sure she was tempted given the emotional affairs i know about i wish i knew she had. i know it would make this easier to move on (while also harder for obvious pain) but let's face it. most of them check out for years, fake trying to fix things, avoid discussion of issues and yes get involved with others before we find out
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 07:04 PM
9

Whoever that dude is he is not and was never your friend
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 07:20 AM
2

My project is coming to an end soon yet I have to be able to pay her for the next decade, as well as put kids through college, and deal with the house and pets. That and the current job sucks and creates a ton of stress and anxiety. ​ if your job/income is changing you can petition to have your support reduced
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 06:03 PM
7

Sorry that happened Glad you got proof I know it hurts a lot but helps you move on when you know for sure
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 10:51 PM
1

i hit the gym late afternoon or early evening depending on plans-it helps my mood, energy and sleep of course need to get back at it in the morning i'm moving at the end of the month so definitely going to get a heavy bag and start working on it in the morning
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 06:02 PM
1

the gym is easy. 5 minutes in i start to feel better the mind is the more difficult part
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 06:01 PM
1

this. as a single parent there's no reasonable expectation that she wouldn't be working full time. unless she is on a professional pickle ball track
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 05:58 PM
2

Alimony can be used as income for a home purchase as long as it is proven to have been paid consistently for 3 months at the time of application through closing and verified as scheduled to continue for 3 years at the time of closing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 01:14 PM
3

Not sure I will ever recover from the way my marriage career and life have unfolded up to this point. My wife’s quiet and I think unintentional withdrawal from our relationship was almost from the beginning of the marriage (after 5 years together including 3 living together) I calmly tried to discuss it and find a path for 8-9 years When she went 3 years without honoring a Simple agreement she made I started to get so angry and the last 10 years were just me acting out and destroying all of it I…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 04:08 PM
3

Tonight I confronted her on suspicions of cheating. It has come out that there is at a minimum an emotional affair taking place. She says nothing physical, and I have no proof of otherwise, but have a severely hard time believing that. She suggested separation and while I entertained it for a moment I stated their must be boundaries to it including no cheating. To which she could not promise that. I said I have no desire to fuck other people and will give her space to sort out her decision and I…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:22 PM
6

we tried to make it work a few times but each time she was talking to other guys behind my back. She has been living with her new bf at his families house and seeing our kid at my place. ​ i'm so sorry you're going through this brother. i still don't know if my wife ever had sex with someone but multiple hidden emotionally intimate friendships with men and women while denying me that basic connection and living in a dead bedroom for 20 years i wish i knew for sure that she fucked someone...it wo…
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/23 02:18 PM
1

we have $150-200K equity. and i'm not accepting that the foundation needs to be repaired. i've suggested we get an appraiser and a realtor's CMA and average the two 20 years in the house. tho it has appreciated MUCH slower than most of this market and slower than our neighborhood/street we are also doing a collaborative divorce. i'm willing to kick in something towards repairs. but certainly not even 50% of their cost. TBD
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 10:35 PM
1

if the roof collapsed tomorrow there might be a case for that if you're talking about random/minor deferred maintenance that has no bearing on the livability and marketability of the home...no way we have a ramjack supporting part of our foundation. been like that for probably 10 years. she brought this up. no way. it's not impacting anyone's ability to live in the house. it's safe and secure. she's keeping the house btw. so again-these things weren't an issue in the past-it's not my responsibil…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:55 PM
3

i still don't know. i don't think she does but it wouldn't surprise me. i think there's a decent chance it might be someone from her high school days or from work who is not local. otoh-maybe not. she is super committed to her career and super focused on her girlfriends but i know she will not be alone for long even though she says none of that interests her bullshit at one point she suggested an open marriage. so i 'could find someone to have sex with'. i told her i only wanted her (and that i'…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 07:52 PM
3

it was probably more than a bullet and it wasn't for you i'm sorry brother. you didn't deserve that. i wish i knew that my wife had cheated. it would honestly make it easier for me to stop wanting her back
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 05:24 PM
59

Enjoy the ride Don’t commit You know where it will end up. Probably sooner than later
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 06:36 PM
14

Heal? Probably never 24 years next month (29 as a couple. Minus the last year of course) Divorce started last month I suppose if I find a new relationship it will help But I will always want my marriage and family Back
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 01:02 PM
15

Well. I’m going to win the financial part of the divorce from my career focused wife And I still want the love affection and close friendship I thought we had Sucks for her I guess. Hate is expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 08:51 PM
2

i miss her and the life we had together-even at the end- i simply think, or KNOW, that we needed a little push in the right direction to fix our problems for me to let go of anger about the past for her to open up emotionally and stop hiding all of her apparently very close friendships with men and women from me i'm shocked how little she was committed to fixing anything in hindsight during the first 7 months of separation when we were living together on weekends and apart during the week
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 07:28 PM
1

Right. You never know until you drop to the next level. Lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:17 PM
2

My stbx brought up repairs to the home at our first collaborative meeting I’m a mortgage lender. That’s not how this works She is keeping the house. She will benefit from future market gains and in our growing city and that prime location the longer she keeps the house the better she’ll do Repairs current or future are not my problem
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:10 PM
2

I care about strangers until given a reason not to I care immensely about friends relatives and acquaintances It is really hard because I still care for my stbx But what she’s put me through with her years of avoidance and emotional abandonment make it clear she had less love for me than I had for her It’s hard. But we’ve both got to accept that we deserved better and should not give any more to the person who has created and doesn’t care about our pain
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:09 PM
1

Same It makes it harder My wife is able to tap into her mother’s ruthless detachment
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:02 PM
1

Fat fucks are the worst You’ll be better off without her skanky cheating bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 02:01 PM
1

The problem with rock bottom is that there’s always a deeper bottom waiting.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:59 PM
17

Either they are the problem or they chase actual bad boys Either way it’s a sign of immaturity and a predictor of a terrible outcome
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:57 PM
6

To be fair I check out women all the time Human nature But checking out is one thing and drooling is another
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:46 PM
-2

Not cool Tho I’d be all for beating his ass if they were caught doing something Lol
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:45 PM
3

Don’t leave fathers and sons out of it Tho to be honest I love the idea of the book more than the actual writing.
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/23 01:43 PM
3

my wife has earned a lot more than me for the last 10 years of our marriage that's also an issue for women for sure it's a no win situation. i think the majority of women really only enjoy sex and love when it's new and fresh and let's face it: if i had women befriending me and approaching me all the time i'd lose attraction to the same old dusty shoe at home too
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 03:57 PM
1

wtf. she should not get a dollar in this case. how long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:10 PM
1

they should be ballpark close i'm inclined to get both done and split the difference. a 'broker price opinion' or CMA (comparable market analysis) is likely to be a higher amount as appraisers tend to be more conservative with valuations than realtors who can better gauge the actual desirability of a home in the current market
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:09 PM
2

fortunately i have some liquid savings i've been burning through for the past year and a half during which time i lost the best job i've ever had and struggling. stbx makes 6 figures (salary whereas i'm straight commission) and has been generous in helping me cover my rent and utilities we signed the docs to get started last month i miss her. i miss her so much. i know i always will i understand exactly why she checked out over the course of the past 10 yearsi'll never understand why she was so …
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/23 08:07 PM
1

i became aware of my serious depression beginning as a pre-teen after my parents divorce when i was 10-11 yrs old. both parents remarried-i wouldn't say happily but they stayed with their imperfect partners going through a divorce i don't want now. my 15 yr old daughter wants nothing to do with me. get better. as everyone says-exercise really helps. having music or tv on helps. i sit in silence too much but some kind of noise in the background makes a difference in my mood and productivity get s…
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 06:46 PM
1

the civil war decided the fact that the usa is not 50 independent states loosely working together but one country ruled in dc quite simply put: the vast majority of laws should be federal and should apply roughly the same everywhere
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 02:23 PM
2

My wife is paying it all upfront and I will share part of the cost out of our settlement
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/23 01:51 AM
1

oh man. i'm sorry. stbxw and i were together for 5 years, living together for 3 prior to marriage. but the bedroom was already dead/dying maybe i should go back and thank my college ex gf who got out at the 3 yr mark (our bedroom had been pretty dead for about a year
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 06:40 PM
1

which part?
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 05:38 PM
1

there's no fix for this now. sympathy i suppose. i got a new phone this morning and was able to at least set up the 'lost my phone' message on the chance that someone finds it. i had my password saved in a folder on the laptop at my last job. that laptop was disabled by the company's IT before i was able to get my information off of it
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 05:36 PM
2

i'd love to feel nothing i still feel everything every day it's less intense most of the time. but not gone.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 12:42 PM
9

once the kids come it ought to strengthen the bond between you but in fact they come to understand that nothing in their life is comparable to the 100% unconditional love they have for their child which is a good thing mostly but damages the long term sustainability of the marriage once we had kids...maybe before who knows...i was only important to my wife for my shared resources as a co-parent she wouldn't get sitters for date nights. she didn't want my folks to watch our son for a weekend so w…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 12:41 PM
7

i'm sorry man. i'm sorry for both of us who wanted to work things out, find a way forward and rebuild the relationship. they check out years ahead. mine admits to a shaky memory but she is mired in all the things i've done wrong-including some from before we were ever married that she brings up i hope i can get my income back on track. i hope i can find someone that loves me again. ​ good luck
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 11:59 PM
1

mortgage lender (for now-possibly getting out soon). i see it all day long. it sickens me to see: all the medical collections that end up screwing up credit scores people who have worked their asses off their entire life and have nothing financially to show for it (only partially due to their own bad decisions in most cases) people who make good money but have none and saddled with debt etc etcetc
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 10:54 PM
3

our economy is a flawed concept that's the problem very few people can afford to live alone in a decent place in any market in this country-nearly everyone is between 3 paychecks and 6 months of being homeless if they lost their job and couldn't work and for the rest-a sustained period of unemployment will drain their more substantial savings the longer you're out of work the harder it is to find a comparable new job etc etc don't get me started about health care unregulated capitalism is destro…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 07:51 PM
3

the house will appreciate in value. it is an asset his son can inherit to live in and pay off himself or sell and pocket the profit in the future housing has been the most reliable roi investment in the usa for the last 70 years ****with the exception of a few periods of crisis which have always ended and turned around
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 07:48 PM
1

i sure do. my wife gets so much love and support from so many people. i have very little to none. it's so much worse now than even the last few years as our marriage was so strained. we still had affection, cuddling. sex was dead for most of the marriage (if i had to guess we averaged less than once a month for the entire marriage...yes-we were pretty hot and heavy for the first 2-3 years but slowed down so much when we moved in together and fell off the cliff once we had our son) i have nothing…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 12:56 PM
3

it's a really hard time. long marriage? kids? i've met some new people and made some sort of friendships since the separation but only one of them actually reaches out to me and suggests a get together (we have a drink about once a week the past few months) i have learned to go out alone a lot. because i work from home and some days the only people i see are at the gym or grocery store.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 12:47 PM
-8

F off calling men shorter than you a midget You’re toxic
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 05:38 PM
1

15 yr old Barely responds to my texts or efforts to do things with her.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 03:55 PM
1

I’m guessing OP is also short Tho a lot of very tall dudes like very short women Idk.
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 03:45 PM
1

Discounted Wal mart meat Fantastic Sounds like a bad idea
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/23 02:04 AM
2

dead bedroom is defined as having sex roughly once a month or less...i think i've seen it stated as '10 times/year or less so i suppose i'm rounding up to once/month). except for when we conceived our kids-that is more or less what my marriage was like. for 22 years. :(
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 08:59 PM
2

i'd like to conduct my own field experiment on this. i'd say i'll get back to you but it could be a while (maybe never. :(
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 07:49 PM
2

a year of full separation after 7 months of living together weekends only i'm still struggling. partially also due to losing the best job i've ever had and now having one of the worst we signed papers to get our collaborative divorce started on thursday i realized yesterday that i have one friend that calls me to get together about once a week...everyone else in my life (not many) i make the effort to see them or go places i know we'll all hang out i don't have strong family ties-though i'm a li…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 05:17 PM
5

Divorcing. I meant it as innuendo
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 09:37 AM
6

We met with attorneys this past week I’m still trying to change her mind GD I need to get laid It would solve a lot of this
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 02:27 AM
7

I would get on my knees for one Not to beg. 😍😍
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/23 02:25 AM
5

wow. Together since so young 23 years married. 29 together. Got together at 24/25 yrs old I like your chances in dating better than mine. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 05:04 PM
6

How long married? I’m sorry. I don’t think my wife has but don’t know for sure It’s terribly painful either way If she did this maybe it would help me get mad and move on
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/23 03:59 PM
1

Time money and emotional support need to be contributed by both parties
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 05:58 PM
5

Companionship Sex Emotional support Understanding What else is there?
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 03:54 PM
2

Keep getting up and keep moving It’s the only thing that helps Gym. Walks. Push ups. Etc. loud music.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/23 12:59 AM
6

Mine was avoidant and I’ve been dismissed So. I get it Faked effort for years. I knew it Confronted her She stonewalled and gaslighted me when I told her I knew she was hiding things from me. I know we could have worked it out
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 06:10 PM
1

Where are you finding these women
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/23 02:31 AM
2

not my choice i'd still do anything to fix it she's unable to control her emotions around me unable to discuss anything-to make any effort
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/23 02:59 AM
2

Just trying to fight through it with exercise, weed and just dealing with the suffering It’s really god damn hard 9 months since she said done after 7 months of living together on weekends only when she was supposed to be working on it but lying the whole time
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 11:25 PM
2

I’ve been a daily exerciser for years so the gym helps I could def use better fitting clothes. Tough for shorter men to find Most importantly I have the worst job and income I’ve ever had right now We always just needed a push in the right direction When I asked her to help push she pulled away and eventually I became a rage filled person I still believe our family and future grandkids are worth it We are both worth it and the connection we have is still there as much as she is trying to kill wh…
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 05:46 PM
2

Went to the beach solo yesterday for Father’s Day Got a call from my son who is overseas When I got home my STBX brought my daughter by to drop off brownies and pickles she made for me Daughter seems to be marginally warming back up to me but we’ve been mostly estranged for a year I wish we could reconcile I want my family back I want my imperfect marriage back and a chance to make it better
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:53 PM
1

I never had an issue with her work travel or her outside friends of eithe mr gender until I saw how much she valued and prioritized everything about them over anything about me I was just a decent candidate for a father for her future kids who fell short on many many levels and now discarded
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 02:12 PM
-1

My wife talks to her mom for hours almost every day I don’t understand how she gets her high volume of work done My wife’s priorities in our marriage were: Kids Mom Work House Friends I asked for reconnection for years and finally discovered that she was emotionally closer to almost everyone in her life before me including multiple male work colleagues I wasn’t even getting the bare minimum for most of 29 years but still want her back
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 01:41 PM
8

This!!! A million times this I accept acknowledge and Apologize for all of my mistakes She denies making any while claiming that I’m the one blaming others Smh.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 12:50 PM
2

Mine is climbing the corporate ladder Her income has roughly doubled from 5 years ago and mine is back on the low end of the cycle of the past 10 years. It’s easy to believe that once she started making that money she started thinking about ending it ESP since until last November I was at my career high
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 12:46 PM
11

She’s better looking now than when I met her. Aged well but also grew into herself more. Probably part of the reason for divorce. She wants to do better than me. Taller. Smarter. Better job. Better
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 12:54 AM
3

Wow As in talking to 5 or doing them? Dang. Sorry man
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 07:10 PM
2

I still don’t know for sure about the sex Probably not knowing her (but did I even) I didn’t know how bad it was until I found out how little she wanted to share with me emotionally and intellectually
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 05:42 PM
2

They sure do At least as a sexual and romantic partner
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 04:58 PM
1

i've been completely underwhelmed with the service, responsiveness and feedback from the legal profession
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 07:21 PM
3

Been here a while Job has been a total roller coaster for 10 years. Marriage under major stress that whole time as well Separated a year and a half and we are just getting started I’m a broken soul right now. Idk if I will make it beyond struggling financially and emotionally and burning through the somewhat significant settlement I anticipate (she is higher earner and a long marriage w substantial assets to divide )
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 12:07 PM
3

There are an increasing number of divorces with much higher earning women I’m entering one now TBD but my career has crashed (again) and hers taken off more than ever I will end up with some support Idk how much or how long But tbh I will go for whatever I can get I’m likely changing careers because commission sales is done for me now esp without her salary as a safety net So my income will be consistently lower for a while without the prior possibility of those good years when I did well There …
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/23 12:01 PM
30

The good career is the secret sauce I don’t have that and it makes getting through this even worse Fears about what kind of life I’ll have moving forward On top of not having a lot of close connections. I miss my wife and my life
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 12:39 PM
3

I am concerned that I will not snap out of this I lost my job in November and the new one is not working out (commission sales) I still want my marriage and family back Also estranged from mother for 5 years I’m so alone and struggling
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 11:29 AM
3

Currently about a mile but I’m moving to a cheaper place about 2 miles away. So pretty close But my daughter doesn’t want to spend much time w me I see her mostly when STBX travels for work (in a batshit crazy situation I go back and live at my old home when she travels)
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 11:17 PM
-3

They should
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 06:12 PM
-11

Bullshit 20 yr marriage The whole point is that you promised to be responsible to and for each other
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 05:35 PM
1

Religion does not help me The rest of your advice is easier to say than live like all advice But thanks. I figure I need about $60k to break even on living expenses and another $10k/year to be in position to date Seems very far away right now 23 years in the same job. Hard to get anyone to see me as a candidate for anything else and this is commission sales so I can get another bad job overnight but very few good ones in my field
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 07:49 PM
2

they both suck man. i'm so sorry. but...i generally believe that knowing they've cheated or moved on this way makes it easier to get mad and move on i only know for sure about hidden/lied about friendships-if i knew there was full on cheating it would hurt more but make it easier to let go
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 06:41 PM
1

easier said than done. esp. when you're severely depressed. wife's career is taking off the past few years. i'd finally found a really good job but got laid off in november and practically unemployed right now (new sales job-no sales) i'm worried about paying my rent. she is going to probably double her 6 figure income within 5 years
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 03:19 PM
1

Holy crap Does she know that you know. They all suck. I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 02:47 AM
5

In the house with you? That is disrespectful as hell You should not accept that
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 10:25 PM
3

It wasn’t the next day. He was around for a while I’m sorry man You deserve better
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:43 PM
1

She is sick. I’m sorry. Stay present for your son.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 10:22 PM
6

No help here 1.5 years separated 9 months since she quit trying to get back together No papers filed yet No income I have some new friends since the split. Otherwise. Life. Is. Shitty.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/23 04:23 PM
1

Blondes. Brunettes. Redheads. Grey hairs. Bald girls? The line forms to the left now that Mack is back in town.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 07:39 PM
1

So many hot Arab women for sure Also Blacks whites native Americans Asians You name it. Lol. 😍😍😍😍
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:30 PM
1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EmF3Ze3nKYc
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 02:25 PM
1

What did you learn about women?
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 10:51 PM
4

Sounds like the real pain to me
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 04:45 PM
3

well written Painful and familiar to read I will not take it well when she starts dating (assuming she hasn’t and that the EA is only that)
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/23 03:19 PM
2

Ridiculous Divorce sucks but everyone deserves representation Most deserve better than they end up with for both lawyer and outcomes This is life
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 07:35 PM
4

Lost my best ever job last November through no fault of my own The job was a sort of fluke in my industry and there are very few even similar I’m making no money at my new job and not motivated to try Very concerned I will not get out of this rut Going to have to take something locking in low earnings soon and thinking about more fully dropping out
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 12:48 PM
23

My 15 yr old wants nothing to do with me (even though I’m the one willing to work to fix the marriage ) I don’t know if I will stay here for three more years But i don’t want to start over somewhere new. On my own At 53.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/23 02:50 AM
3

Wow Your ex’s affair partner contacted you because your ex was leaving them? Wow That’s crazy (Leaving the affair partner for a different one?)
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 06:50 PM
13

for one it's showing incredible kindness to the other spouse who is being lied to and potentially endangered (std's)
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:09 PM
9

do it anonymously ​ today
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 05:08 PM
3

I’m sorry man
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:24 AM
4

your attorney should have advised you of the likely cost and outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 07:24 PM
5

i got banned from dead bedrooms, tried to engage in discussion with mod, mod blocked me i got banned recently from dating over 50. no idea why whatsoever. sent a note to the mod-the only response was to block me from contacting them ​ these people are fucking nuts
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 02:54 PM
3

Same. Job is in the tank along w divorce on the way I waste most of each day doom scrolling until late afternoon when I go to the gym Watch some tv Go to bed Repeat
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 10:02 PM
9

I know what you mean At the start of actual divorce after a long separation Every time I leave town I feel better But can’t imagine starting somewhere new at 53 Even though this is a ghost town and there are many that are no longer my friends as well as outright enemies I also have a lot of friends and acquaintances not tied up w her I would hate living somewhere that I didn’t Have people I run into
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 07:06 PM
4

i understand where you're coming from-but it sounds like you're doing pretty great in your life now. keep moving forward. she sucks. he does too.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 07:43 PM
17

If you hope to heal your marriage do not do this are you in marriage counseling together? For your kids-seek couples counseling before agreeing to move out Also Consult an attorney She is probably is engaged in an EA at least Do these things for your kids. Now.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 09:30 PM
2

eh. we don't know what happened here. there's as good a chance that he fooled around on her being a famous, wealthy good looking superstar he'll be ok. def. one of the king chads of the world. women surely throwing themselves at him day after day.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 06:03 PM
1

i expect to win the financial part of the divorce stbxw has a skyrocketing career climbing the corporate ladder while i lost 'the best bad job i've ever had' in november (due to no fault of my own) i anticipate receiving spousal support i'd rather work things out. i know we are not as far apart as she thinks we are but she has decided...probably years ago
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 06:00 PM
7

All kinds of f’d up But mostly true
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 01:55 AM
8

You came across her profile? That sucks I’m sorry
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 05:46 AM
3

Do it
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 04:36 AM
1

Which part.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:14 PM
9

It takes two to succeed or fail at Marriage I did worse things in reaction to my wife’s mistakes But it always takes two If both want to work it out it can work
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 04:41 PM
1

It’s not a great relationship either It should be nice spent time far away from here and with family though it is very complicated (I grew up on the other side of the country as my dad brother and step sis and step bro. But they will be kind this week and know what I’m up against
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:39 AM
2

I’m the last person to say it But just get through tonight Keep going
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 11:35 PM
2

I’m sorry. That’s so rough My STBXw says she is not interested in dating or sex but time will tell
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 12:44 PM
5

I’m so sorry. Terribly unfair
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 09:32 PM
2

Yes Dead bedroom started as soon as we got married Got much worse after kids For most of 23 year marriage it was about once a month We failed at sleep training. Which I wonder if that was related to her loss of attraction for me
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 04:54 PM
2

Attractive or not Women can easily find sex with people hotter than they are
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 04:50 PM
3

Good luck Whether a rebound or not I know that some positive attention from a nice lady would help me shake out of this and move forward with purpose
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 10:44 PM
9

endorphins. blood flow. music pumping through my ear buds. i usually feel terrible physically and emotionally when i get to the gym. i always feel a little better when i leave. and of course i look better if i lift and exercise regularly (i don't power lift or body build-i have a set routine i do most days-about 1.5 mile run and i hit 8-10 stations for light-to-moderate weight lifting. i'm in and out in about an hour or so)
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 04:32 PM
5

feeling all of those failures over here as well 23 years married (if we count the past 1.5 years living apart, 29 years together. 2 kids: 21 and 15. my career has always been up and down but more down than the up the past 10 years. hers always on upward trajectory but now leaving the stratosphere while mine has crashed worse than it ever has before my 15 yr old won't talk or engage with me (we have had a few bad fights during this separation) it's hard to keep going right now. i have a couple of…
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/23 03:29 PM
1

Finances are pretty straightforward imo and reasonably transparent custody Spousal support Could be sticky. I don’t think there are any revelations to be had unless I’m wrong there’s no actual infidelity TBD We start tomorrow I still want to save the marriage but she could not be more done.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 11:02 AM
2

It won’t be from my ex It will be from her friends
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 11:05 PM
9

100% mine will not
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 09:59 PM
3

remains to be seen how vindictive the ex will be her friends will absolutely be vindictive as hell
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 08:43 PM
3

stbxw and i meet with attorneys wednesday. we are hoping to do a collaborative process and avoid a trial and such tbd
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 06:27 PM
4

yes-it is crazy but that's our modern world. i'm concerned about all of this...my stbx is well connected all over our small city and as hard as i expect dating to be for me (old, hair loss, short, struggling career) i also worry about wife's friends or friends of friends telling inaccurate stories about me and kneecapping me before i have a chance to even meet
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 06:26 PM
49

Lol Everything w women is a double standard
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/23 05:34 PM
0

i don't think alimony should be abolished but it should not be permanent
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:15 PM
1

wow. i'm going to have such a hard time if i find out my stbx goes through a hoe phase (i've heard of others doing it...including those, like my wife, who are absolutely conservative when it comes to sex)
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:14 PM
1

the death of friendship is the death of love-nietzsche said that and it is exactly how my marriage became stale, later toxic and now over
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:12 PM
1

I was reassigned to an unacceptable position so I left (basically laid off) But I’m positive the divorce is making it much harder to bounce back at work
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:40 PM
12

Hey man I’m sorry Same story Wife was never invested in working things out Checked out years ago I’ve been saying I’m 5’6 for years but I’m closer to 5’5. Lol. In decent shape. Funny Smart But height will be a huge hurdle for both of us in dating My job is in the tanks so that doesn’t help either What does life do? It goes on Keep going Maybe it will get better
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:46 PM
1

So sorry I still don’t know if there’s someone else involved I don’t have a ton of support but they have been so kind and patient with me
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 04:27 AM
1

Both of my kids were planned I was unsure about the second because after 5 years the only ‘marriage’ we had was the business of our lives and taking care of our son It was ridiculously wonderful being a new parent But I wanted a partner She avoided sitters Nights out Getaways (my folks begged to watch our son) Son was so wonderful I finally agreed The marriage grew more distant She doubled down on the kids her career friends Eventually I got so angry Crashed my job Crashed our lives Most of the …
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 01:42 PM
4

Put her on you health insurance at work Marriage is about more than each person’s physical attributes especially if hers are harming her quality of life My wife and I never had joint banking during our 23 yr marriage and it had no impact on our lives and is not any factor in our pending divorce (it’s all marital assets anyway ) You two should get counseling and you need to mature fast if this marriage is going to make it A small life insurance policy on each of you would not cost much and would …
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/23 09:24 AM
10

Happy for you Sad for me
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 04:53 PM
12

Easy to say you don’t want a relationship when you have a steady sex partner
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 03:31 PM
27

the reason why anyone is like however they are is always the same: because they can be
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:47 PM
1

i was accused of supporting marital rape because i discussed LL4U wives who have sex they don't want for years until they develop aversion being the real problem because of their avoidance and refusal to communicate openly and honestly with their partner. the mod ended up insulting me and banning me instead of having a reasonable discussion.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 06:18 PM
3

right? look what happened to dead bedrooms. began as a place for the rejected and sad partner who is desperate to reconnect with the love of their life and has become a place for women who hate their partners to accuse them of rape
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 06:14 PM
4

Dead bedrooms began as a place for HL’s to vent but became a place for LL’s to control Like the relationship style it is based on
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 03:26 PM
1

what else do you call deciding to hide her entire life from me for the past 5 years lying in the at most once/month marriage counseling she showed up to etc. idk about affairs. i still think only emotional. but all the lawyers i met with said unless she's a lesbian or medically frigid she probably had sex with her 'friend'
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 06:50 PM
2

Same. My wife would remain in limbo forever It’s been 9 months after 7 when she was fake trying to work it out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 11:58 AM
1

Limbo finally about to end. I don’t expect happiness in my life ever again
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 11:53 AM
8

my relationship with my daughter has been difficult for a few years (she is 15 and it pre-dates teenage drama and goes back to marital strife she grew up seeing with me and her mom) she has learned to ignore me from my wife. we got in a huge fight at the end of january i don't know if she'll have me in her life at all once she is an adult. she barely speaks to me when i pick her up from school a few days a week and doesn't return my texts trying to connect breaks my heart. i miss her so much. he…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 08:18 PM
6

Sorry but she will only be alone by choice. I know the feeling. It has been 9 months of mine saying she doesn’t want to work on things but hasn’t moved the paperwork forward. I’m moving it forward now I’m still open to working it out But she won’t budge and I’m tired of her making no effort and keeping me in limbo ESP at 52. I don’t want to move on But time is ticking.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 01:16 AM
7

Since the separation 15 months ago I drive by our old condos we lived in together frequently I’ll never be over her 29 years together She took my call today on the first ring But is still 1000% for divorce And not willing to try again. I got off the phone and contacted the attorney to push on getting us a new date she cancelled because of a trip she cancelled because of a serious health scare she’s having I’m so worried about her While being so angry that she is breaking up our family Well Reall…
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/23 03:13 AM
2

I would live with someone again but not until I was with them for a while (2 years?) I think living together changes the relationship a lot but obviously there are financial benefits
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/23 01:29 PM
1

I might find another partner I hope I do But I will not find a more compatible one Even with our issues
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 10:44 PM
1

as long as OP makes the payment on time most lenders will accept a divorce decree + history of 12 month's on-time payment by the ex and omit the payment from that mortgage if ex wants to buy later. but...it requires the exes to cooperate. better to make a clean break
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:21 PM
1

hello there. mortgage lender since 1999. it's tough out here right now. i was in-house with a builder the past 3 years and it was the best job i ever had-but they stopped building in my area and i had to make a move. starting over without a lot of referral sources is tough right now. i'd be a bigger fan of a 3 or 5 year ARM...rates are going to settle down a little inside the next 2 years and home appreciation is slowing but not going to stop or reverse due to the continued inventory/supply side…
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:19 PM
0

it sounds like she is having second thoughts but scared to voice them. but then i would do anything to repair my marriage and stay together. my wife wants to be cordial and even friendly-she will take walks with me at the river-but says she has no interest in working things out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 06:05 PM
2

Great first season The other two have not lived up
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/23 08:08 PM
2

if it reports on your credit you're still likely subject to the harm inflicted by late payments. that's going to be a deal breaker for me.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:30 AM
3

i'm going to check with our lender tomorrow. my wife is keeping the house-will probably stay there forever (!) and will be buying me out. i refuse to quit claim without my name being removed from the loan and no longer reporting on my credit. i've seen too much. lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:50 AM
5

I already worked out almost daily I already went to events alone regularly (but got to come back home to her) I am still struggling to find people to hang out with. And my career is in bad shape
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:06 AM
3

An ex in college wrote me one of those letters but mailed it. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:04 AM
3

Contact your lender They will let you know Of course the person assuming the loan will have to qualify as if it is a new purchase to ensure they meet ability to repay guidelines.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 02:02 AM
1

check your state laws. if you prove infidelity it will improve your financial outcomes. personally i wish i knew for sure. it would make it easier to detach either way. if i knew 100% she was cheating i'd know you can't compete with NRE. if i knew 100% she wasn't cheating but still wants divorce...well...that's how much she's done with me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:35 PM
6

here's your problem. to hell with her and wanting normal. she is the one tearing your son's family apart. she needs to leave the home and find somewhere to live. yes-then she will be even happier with her new man but also questioning her decision due to missing her son. she needs to leave. to hell with pretending to be normal. that's what she's been doing for however long she's been screwing this guy. and trust me. from your post-she is
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 10:33 PM
1

Well Mine got out of bed after she had pain during sex which had been normal for a year due to menopause and told me she had no attraction on any level. Intellectually emotionally or physically Separated 15 months 9 months since she quit wanted to work on it Attorney two weeks from today to get started if she doesn’t reconsider It sucks I still don’t know if she cheated but definitely EA w coworker divorced guy she hid from me for years We had a lot of problems. I wanted to work them out but she…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 04:42 PM
10

For sure Especially her best friend at work A divorced guy she hid from me for years
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 08:37 PM
1

Lost the best job I ever had in October Have been apart from wife and daughter since 2021 and she stopped being willing to spend time together last June The new job sucks. It is not going to work out and I’m making zero dollars right now (100% commission) Scheduled an appointment with attorney for 3/13 I still want to work it out But if she isn’t willing to let me back in her life bye.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 01:03 AM
11

I do the same thing sometimes The worst is when it’s after the gym which should be my best time physically emotionally and intellectually When I think about suicide I usually think jumping is the best path for me Please find someone to talk to. A suicide hot line or something Don’t do it There will be a new love in your future You might always miss and think about your ex. Life goes on You can make it
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/23 03:49 PM
3

she will not tell him about the men
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 10:12 PM
6

There’s no need for a court battle Split the equity and cash 50/50 Negotiate visitation and custody Child support by state standards Sounds like a short marriage and no alimony
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 07:41 PM
3

How long were you married? I know it hurts to see how quickly she tried to move on but use the anger to move on yourself I wish I knew for sure
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 06:39 PM
4

They all end up here eventually
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 04:28 AM
3

you need to tell her that she needs to get a job and start using that degree you paid for. she probably can't get anything decent with 17 yrs as a sahm but she needs at least a part time job...really a full time one.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 03:09 AM
3

I have wanted to work it out She has not I still do But at least now I know that she would have to show some effort and willingness to change ***only emotional affairs are a known-known ***I will probably never know the truth if she physically cheated or not. If I knew I wouldn’t want to reconcile and would have already filed.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 03:18 AM
2

Selfish but true
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 11:18 PM
1

Fair point But it sucks that so many people leave that way
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 10:47 PM
2

Appreciate the effort but this qualifies as mildly toxic positivity It’s marginally healthier than reality based cynicism Somewhere in the middle is either reuniting with my and wife fixing our problems or getting this divorce moving and hopefully finding a new partner (no. I will not wait to date except as the dating market requires me to. No. I will not rush into living together or marriage. But at a still young-ish 52 I don’t have time to waste.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 10:20 PM
1

i'm in a small-ish southern city that feels much smaller than it is. i lived here 5 years before she ever moved here and am from the state whereas she is not but she has a much deeper, wider and more sincere support group and more connected i am terrified of moving somewhere i don't know anyone-because i'm extroverted in comfortable situations and introverted when i don't know anyone but i can't bear the thought of staying so close to her and running into her esp once she is dating
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 06:59 PM
3

mine said 'i want to be able to do whatever i want'. i never kept her from anything. the only reasonable thing she could be referring to is another man/men. which she says there is not one. i think she's lying.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 06:55 PM
1

Survival has gotten easier, living has not, and honestly I'm starting to wonder if it ever will. I look back and see a huge swath of my life turned into a photograph. A memory you can look at, but will never again experience its joy. well said. very true. i have fewer days of overwhelming sadness/rage but i'm still dangerously lonely for parts of every day.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 06:53 PM
2

probably not. the stress of earlier life/earlier career and esp. babies/toddlers/young kids is what kills marriages
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 06:52 PM
3

The gym. Maybe a beer somewhere after Tv and a lonely cold bed
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 05:23 PM
1

Wow. Sorry.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 05:23 AM
1

Did she go through a Ho phase?
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 05:09 AM
2

Applies to people of both genders
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 01:09 PM
1

Thank you And a psychologist is someone that sometimes listens to you talk about your problems and then increases their out of network rate
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 02:45 AM
1

Yes but it gets crowded right?
/r/PurplePillDebate10/02/23 02:44 AM
4

Moved out December 2021 Tried a living apart together deal where I was back home on weekends We were good when we were together but during the week she’d ignore my efforts to stay connected (wouldn’t take calls etc) After 8 months of this I was planning to move in but found out about her hidden and lied about best friend at work. A divorced guy. Since end of may 2022 there’s been very little time together A handful of walks A few family dinners She doesn’t want to put in any effort and says she …
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 02:00 PM
1

I have a bad attitude and a good sense of humor but I’m working on my attitude
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 07:05 PM
2

Wow! Ok so sorry Also Photo of your wife and is her office hiring? Sorry. Kidding Humor and gym are the only things that get me by
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:00 PM
1

Wow! Ok so sorry Also Photo of your wife and is her office hiring? Sorry. Kidding Humor and gym are the only things that get me by
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/23 06:00 PM
3

they're checked out of divorce/women sub but haven't let the sub know yet. they're not open to counseling for healing or repair. :)
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 09:42 PM
11

It’s a good problem to have My man Jealous
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 07:54 PM
3

Haven’t been with anyone But still morning wood So hopefully that will continue until I find someone
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 05:05 AM
2

Hopefully not forever But the odds of finding even a good LTR Let alone a live in partner or spouse Very low. I don’t want to be alone or get used to it
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 03:31 AM
5

I had a nice weekend Dinner and drinks with my best friend his wife and her brother Friday night A movie (alone) and drinks with friendly strangers last night A long walk through a national park today in the cold and the rain (with a little herbal buzz) Gym every day A nice dinner I made But. I miss my wife/having a partner Stay busy Work out
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:39 AM
3

It sucks. But I get more and more used to it Married 23 years Together 28 8 months totally apart after 7 months of LAT.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 02:06 AM
1

Not sure if I’ll have any luck But I’m getting back out there asap if this goes through Separated but nothing filed I want to reconcile she does not
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 12:24 PM
4

Yeah I do. Always have It’s getting old doing them alone
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 05:46 PM
3

I already had freedom to do all of that but could come home to my wife
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:04 PM
3

Meet up is dead in my area So hard I’ve made a couple of new friends the past year but it is hard
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 04:04 PM
3

I had a lot of reactions to things my wife did that were definitely escalations It’s hard to not recognize that each one was a chance to turn things around instead of making it worse
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/23 03:18 AM
3

Eventually the shaved head probably a thing Beard does not come in nicely but I can manage 3 day scruff like nobody’s business
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 03:12 AM
19

Lol You’re the guy that women dream of You’ll be fine. Me? 5’6 Some cash but low income Decent looking….but short Oh right Widows peaks and loss of hair well underway. 😢😢😢😢
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 10:18 PM
22

This As soon as she moved out Maybe sooner
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 09:13 PM
19

I appreciate what you’re trying to do here but I think you’d be better off going no contact with her (Unless she is going to set you up with eligible women she knows. )
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 09:13 PM
7

Until it doesn’t
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 12:43 PM
2

I met with them I liked what they had to say But they are expensive and I expect our settlement will be collaborative if not possibly mediated
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/23 03:04 AM
1

My wife and I did not control each other
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 07:04 PM
5

You guys aren’t giving me much hope (Nothing filed yet. But it’s coming. Dead bedroom Career in the tank This is not going to go well for me. I’d like to find someone and potentially at least live with her. Idk about marriage itself
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 12:51 AM
21

Yes Our worst fights are where she refuses to accept any responsibility and downplays the things I’m angry about
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/23 08:53 PM
4

Yes. It would be easier We are on the cusp of having the life I thought we both wanted. She just wants it without me in it now
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 04:52 PM
9

sorry you're going through this my marriage was extremely high conflict for about 3 years but the past 5 or so years i thought we were slowly getting better but it turns out she had built a wall around her entire life outside of the time we spent together at home and had been checked out for years there's nothing worse than the cliche of the spouse that checks out and goes through the motions instead of being honest with their partner and being willing to work on the issues when they are still s…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:56 PM
1

we will probably be getting paperwork moving forward shortly after the new year we've been separated for a year and were working on it until end of may i will win the financial side of the divorce but i'd rather put the marriage back together in any case....i'm going to push her to move forward with divorce or commit to trying to get back together she doesn't want to be married and won't move forward the worst of two worlds
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 09:20 PM
4

The death of friendship is the death of love Nietzsche
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 06:00 PM
17

Marriage is presented to be a lifelong relationship Most understand it as a place where they should be fully open and expect the same from their spouse Stereotypically one spouse often checks out for years without discussing issues with the other until they can’t do it anymore and leaves…suddenly to the partner that thought things were either great ok or at least not that bad
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 03:05 PM
6

C’mon that’s definitely not true Plenty of men are cheaters for sure Granted. We are only as usual getting one side of the story.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 05:49 PM
1

I don’t have a problem w her posts. Granted. I’m not a mod.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 05:48 PM
2

I lost my six figure job but only because they more or less shut down my branch for at least 6 months They offered to reassign me but it was a terrible offer It will help the settlement But I’d rather that job hadn’t turned to shit The first time I made six figures was the last two years. Previously. A lot lower on average
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 03:18 AM
3

If you’re not actually in clear physical danger do not ‘use’ a tro as a game
/r/Divorce_Men12/12/22 04:25 PM
1

Quick easy reliable comfort foods Tacos Grill a few chicken breasts Spaghetti or lasagna Anything that will last 2-3 days
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 08:06 PM
2

Paragraphs will get you more feedback
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 01:57 AM
3

Wow. That sucks Mine told me a month before that she was 100% decided to get divorced Of course. It is 4 months later and she hasn’t filed anything. If I knew she was cheating it would be easier to go ahead and file myself
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/22 04:15 AM
3

She sucks You deserved better I hope you find peace Happy to talk if it helps Good luck brother
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 02:50 AM
35

Do not agree to anything from ‘her lawyer’
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 09:45 PM
2

Wife had two obsessive and secretive friendships with female yoga teachers that caused a lot of problems between us She insists she is not attracted to women and thinks it is gross Bit admitted to some kind of girl crush on the first girl but not the second Both women broke up w my wife as friends because they felt she was ‘too much’ We are separated now and likely heading for a divorce I still desperately don’t want I wish she was a lesbian It would hurt less than when she is with another man.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 05:17 PM
7

it's normal enough for a spouse to discuss things with their friends (though it is doing damage to the marriage in a million ways). it's less problematic if she is bringing her concerns directly to you and you are both working on compromise/solutions. sharing private texts with others is a much larger issue. your marriage is in trouble. probably over. it will take dramatic shifts from everyone to fix this.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 03:21 PM
1

If wife is not on mortgage or deed she should not be entitled to anything regarding the home.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 12:10 AM
2

Closing costs should not be anywhere near $13000 I’m a lender.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 03:35 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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