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Sinenominibus Archive

View 10 posts and 124 comments by Sinenominibus on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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First off, I used self esteem as a synonym of "confidence", maybe this sparked a bit of confusion. That's my problem. The guys from BBT are confident in their field, but not as people. The latter is what I want and need. You aren't fat? I'm 175 cm tall and I weigh about 73kg. I'm roughly between the guy labeled "20 to 24%" and "25 to 29%". I have stretch marks on my belly (got them when I was obese when I was a kid), so my belly looks kinda bigger. How many days a week do you lift and what progr…
/r/seduction04/03/19 10:05 PM
2

I meant working on yourself to be the man you want to be. AAHAHAHAH sorry man I misread your post, I read "I've spent this half year working on you", I was pretty confused. However, then that's a yes! Even though it has much more to do with my relationship with myself rather than becoming a "better" man: I've been feeling a lot more at peace with myself recently than I have in years, and I feel that it's an actual change rather than a temporary phase of serenity. That "just do it man" philosophy…
/r/seduction28/11/17 09:53 PM
1

Working on me...? What do you mean? But no, substantially nothing changed for what it pertains pickup. Still no catches, not even one. Well, there can't be any if I don't approach. And I didn't! However, I am getting in better terms with myself: the biggest mistake was tying (subconciously) my identity with my lack of success with women. The ego doesn't want to die, and therefore any step made towards changing this situation is met with a colossal amount of resistance. However, I noticed this an…
/r/seduction28/11/17 09:04 PM
1

Really? Gotta train my smile then, I always look like a fool when I smile in pictures
/r/seduction28/08/17 01:12 AM
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I tried checking for speed dating clubs/circles. They all want people over 27 lol. However, I feel your pain as the lifelong axious I am
/r/seduction28/08/17 12:35 AM
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Does that kind of thing cost a lot?
/r/seduction23/06/17 11:01 AM
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Very well, I'll try to find a copy if it, then. It seems a bit cliché but one should never judge a book by its cover.. Or title.
/r/seduction21/06/17 08:09 PM
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You know what? You're right. I probably should shut up and stop thinking about this. Thinking so much about it is just making it worse! I just make up more and more conjectures that will simply make me feel worse. Also, do you actually suggest me that book or you linked it to me just because it was fitting?
/r/seduction21/06/17 07:40 PM
1

A good half of my friends are in my same sitaution, but there's another half that may be able to help me... I hope.
/r/seduction21/06/17 07:37 PM
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I did not explain myself well: After coming up with the tricks, it's not like I sat there and expected women to come at my door! I'm saying that they didn't work, I was still too afraid to make a move. You seem to imply that I'm just lazy and didn't want to make work. Trust me, living with this daily humiliation is not something that you do just because you're lazy.
/r/seduction21/06/17 07:10 PM
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Which would require me to have a circle of friends with women in them. All my friends are either 100% male or, like, 5:1 men:women.
/r/seduction21/06/17 06:41 PM
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I was told this or something like this already, I devised a lot of mind tricks to circumvent AA, like: *telling myself that they are men *repeating myself that approaching is no big deal for a straight week, all days, like a mantra *telling myself that I am literally the most desirable man in the world and chicks don't approach me because they're too horny *not thinking at all (couldn't do it, or I'd have solved my problem) *telling myself that approaching is like studying for an upcoming exam (…
/r/seduction21/06/17 06:39 PM
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To be precise: I get anxious when I want to approach women I'm attracted to. If I have to approach a girl I'm not interested in, it's fine. If I have to approach for some other reason than for the sake of pure attraction, I have no problems (like: asking for notes of some course) Why am I afraid? I am afraid of making a fool of myself/to make myself look bad/to be scorned at. I kinda feel like a pig, as if I were to do something filthy, because I know that my interest is physical (what a curse t…
/r/seduction21/06/17 05:54 PM
1

Well, this happens because I avoid to swear in public places (like: class, university) and I don't happen to hang around with my female friends (since they're pretty few, frankly). Actually, I know so few girls I may not say that I have female friends (maybe a couple), the few girls I know are much more acquaintaces than friends. But that's due to that I end up myself not meeting many women, so -statistically speaking- it's normal. If I had the chance to meet more women, I'd end up with more fem…
/r/seduction21/06/17 05:41 PM
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make friends, go to their parties, meet women. ahaha, I kinda gave off the wrong vibe. I do have friends, I make friends really easily, but simply said, parties don't happen very often, if not at all. Maybe I misinterpreted you and you meant "make MORE friends"?
/r/seduction21/06/17 04:53 PM
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Do you have any idea of where I may go? Besides the obvious things like bars, discos and clubs (I hate all of them). It would help to be a context in which people are kinda encouraged to meet/chat.
/r/seduction21/06/17 03:54 PM
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The catch is that I am confortable with women once we meet. I speak with girls I already know absolutely normally, as I would with my old timey friends (minus the swearing, obviously). Then I also really struggle to flirt and ask for dates/numbers, but I think that it's really the same problem that I have with approaching. Once I get past AA, I get past the fear of asking out or flirting.
/r/seduction21/06/17 03:52 PM
3

A few things I learned - lose the term Approach Anxiety. It turns into this Big Thing that you decide you have, then use it to limit yourself. I don't use it myself normally, but it's useful to make everybody understand what I'm talking about You're going to have to just approach. Say 'hey, I wanted to meet you. What's your name?' Or something. Then you just ask what shes up to, and find something else from there. If she's studying, what's she studying? etc. It's going to suck the first few time…
/r/seduction21/06/17 03:49 PM
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why not just make it less awkward and approach women you meet at parties? Well, I don't attend many parties. Mainly because the people I know don't throw parties or they don't know anyone who throws parties. That would be a decent way to help myself, frankly
/r/seduction21/06/17 03:46 PM
1

I gave off the wrong vibe with my post, this was due to me being a terrible mood at the moment. Still: 1)Have anxiety, but don't want to practice talking to women. No! I do want to, the problem lies with cold approaches. I know this is really silly, but this is a huge roadblock for me... I know the only way to beat this is to actually FORCE me to do it, but this is what I've been struggling with for a lot of time 2)Never kiss, but want to have LTR with women. Well, you say as if I did't want to …
/r/seduction03/03/17 10:14 PM
1

Chances are that she's in the same experience you are. In in a metropolitan area. [...] That's something really reassuring then. Your guess is right, I live in the capital of my country, your advice is sound. Anything is creepy if said creepily. I can say "Have a nice day" like a creep. I mean don't say something you find creepy verbatim--but just be playful, fun--if that's your personality. If that's true, then I may not worry, when I'm not at home I give an optimist vibe (or so my friends say)…
/r/seduction02/03/17 07:32 PM
1

It doesn't really mater.[...] Sorry man, I didn't explain myself correctly: I am not one who goes around a lot and therefore I don't know many places in general (excluding my area, then I am a more knowledgeable, but "my area" is not very big to be frank) I should really get more out of home :/ To say one, I don't know places that do live music that aren't like 40-1hour away. I get it that it's not a problem, but a place so far doesn't seem a great idea for a first date (or is it? Feel free to d…
/r/seduction02/03/17 07:00 PM
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We all experienced it. Nothing to it but to do it. I know. But tell me: will it get easier after my very first cold approach? Or it will be this shitty for months? Physical things are learned physically. That doesn't surprise me much, but I didn't know you could actually learn how to turn on people. I always thought it was -mostly- random. I.e. talk with a woman understanding she's a rung in the ladder toward your LTR. She's an experience--a trial that will have an error. And you'll be fine. Now…
/r/seduction02/03/17 06:11 PM
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Oh and it would help if you had an interesting place to invite these women to That's my biggest problem: I don't! I'm held back by not having any cool place to bring chicks to a date. Well, it seems I'll be visiting quite a few museums then ;)
/r/seduction02/03/17 06:06 PM
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To be fair,[...]You both think you know everything, when most men forgot more than you guys ever knew (when it comes to women.) [...]. However, for an inexperienced man, the gap is comparable in relation to women. So defer to men who know more--just as you would a professor. I'm sorry I gave you this "I-know-it-all-vibe", it wasn't my intention. I'm here ESPECIALLY because I don't know anything and I need advice from more experienced people. I hope I didn't seem arrogant (even though I reckon I …
/r/seduction02/03/17 03:00 PM
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Of all my suggestions the Library is surely the worst. But give it a try--but also try the Park, particularly on the weekends (weather permitting.) The museum may be better. It's very easy to start a conversation on the art being looked at. Well not THAT easy, but maybe easier than the Library. Although bring up the book she's reading--and ask about it or why she's reading it. I.e. for class. My city has a lot of art, you don't find museums, museums find you. I will try this. But all in all, you…
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:38 PM
1

The catch is that I am very passionate about the few things I do BUT I still don't meet chicks very often and the few of them are already taken. People notice my passion and pride (and a little little hint of arrogance) in what I do with my life. I'm studying to become a scientist, that's literally what I have desired to be since I was a kid! The problem is literally finding women that aren't taken. All cute chicks at my course are taken :(
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:28 PM
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Dude I don't like lifting heavy things and putting them down but the goal is worth it. Go for practice. That's a way to see it. Despite my aversion, I can stand bars and pubs, cutting discos from the equation won't hurt me too much How do you imagine the interaction will go? If you meet a cool girl, is that it? She falls in love with you, end of story? As you say, you have no experience.... so you should go out and meet some women, as friends, just get used to talking to them. It's not like I ha…
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:21 PM
1

building something longlasting is NOT EASY As it is getting a degree or a job. I'm not expecting to find my soulmate instantly, but I do need to know what I want and my goals
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:17 PM
1

Try a book club. This is a great idea, I need to get back into reading as I did once. Volunteer work is great. Do it. One of the upsides of living in a catholic country is that volunteering associations are really really common, finding something useful worth doing won't be hard.
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:16 PM
1

You know what? I really like you attitude. You being so blunt and direct is exactly what I need. You can invent a reason why anything in the fucking world won't work. "Invent" is perfect. This is my problem, my mind generates bullshit and I still buy it. What's worse, is that I know it. I want to change my perspective. In my native language, you could say I am "square-headed", I'm too rational and stick too much to schemes. We can help you come up with ideas, you can ignore them You're right, I'…
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:14 PM
1

Which leads me to my biggest problem, the dreaded AA. Still, I do need to find women to practice it
/r/seduction02/03/17 12:02 PM
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Search for "Bass Solos" on Youtube. View the ones with promising titles and/or many views. Good music is good music. I get your point, but I think that bass solos are very silly. And most of these are far beyond my skill level (the latter can be fixed thankfully). But to be frank, the biggest thing is that I'm really afraid to perform in front of people (and being bass a pretty bad solo instrument only makes it worse). You tend to shoot down every suggestion without acting on any. Which is a sur…
/r/seduction01/03/17 11:08 PM
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Really? Have you actually tried giving a fuck? It works wonders. I feel like I didn't explain myself well. I did not say I don't care about their advice, but I simply don't like photography and painting/drawing. I really really tried to like any of these (just like with dancing) but I simply cannot bring myself to enjoy. Point blank man, put yourself out there more. Can you help me with this a little more? As I said in the OP, I'm very anxious and if I don't have a clear goal, idea, I start pani…
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:39 PM
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Uh.. you can either go to bars, discos or pubs and NOT drink or NOT drive. I.e. either don't drink heavily OR get a designated driver/taxi/driving service. It's not complicated. Sorry, I wasn't clear in the OP (will edit), but I despise these places, discos especially. As to like-minded, [...] you had to do it. Well, I did not explain myself well. By "like minded" I simply wanted to say that I seek a chick with a personality compatible with mine, my goal is to build something longlasting, not a …
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:31 PM
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I have little faith in online dating, it's a meat shop for women :(
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:25 PM
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I like you attitude and earnestly appreciate your help, but I've heard these things far by too many times. My goal, right now, is to get a degree and write music. None of these imply meeting chicks. Can you be a little more specific?
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:24 PM
1

Start a band Good riddance, I really should but I'm far too anxious to be a shit player to actually try. This is a stupid attitude, I know. I need to practice more. go to shows My city fucking sucks when it comes down to shows, I've been looking for a good show for months. The only interesting one is Dillinger Escape Plan this summer. go in libraires Mmmh, how will this help me find chicks though? People can't speak in a library Thanks for your patience man :D
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:23 PM
1

I like your attitude, but sadly you don't help me a lot :( The right one will come to you at the right time. This is just as sweet/cute as it is unlikely to actually happen. It won't "come to me", it never will. I can do jack shit about it, I just have to be really lucky to find a girl that I like and happens to like me as well, which is -at it stands- very unlikely
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:19 PM
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You're right, but the catch is that I fucking despise clubs and bars. You'll still turn her off if you have no idea what to do Can you make an example of this? Now I'm kinda worried
/r/seduction01/03/17 08:16 PM
1

If this can make you feel you better, know that your mistakes will be a precious treasure from which I'll learn, even though I think I'm not this needy despite my total lack of success with women (hence, I'm convinced this is just temporary, I just need a chance and to calm down). But you mentioned high school, so I you was much younger than I am now. Still, thanks a lot for sharing your experience!
/r/seduction28/10/16 09:18 PM
4

This sounds like me. Everyone always says 'get out there and keep getting rejected, and you will leanrn' but that really doesn't seem to be the case for me. I'm kind of someone who needs to see it being done successfully (or at least read about it in brain-numbing detail) in order to better understand things. I can spot certain patterns easier that way. Maan, are we the same person? I feel the same way, barring that I'm too much of a coward to approach. I wish I had some friend to show me, even …
/r/seduction27/10/16 04:23 PM
1

Yeah, the hardest part is approaching women on the street, but I will have to bite the bullet and just do it. The part that scares me is starting a conversation. If there's some kind of connection/chemistry/whatever, I become a very interesting conversationalist, but getting started it's the hardest part by far. It would help immensely if women didn't always go in couples/groups with their friends, I already have AA, and that just makes it worse. I know it's possible to approach like that, but n…
/r/seduction11/08/16 09:13 AM
1

Well, good for me I have a couple of cats, so I'm pretty covered on that side. I thought that taking pictures of my self and one of my cats gave much more of a "crazy cat man" vibe than someone attractive, but I may be wrong (this means, I will follow your advice) No pictures of me by myself? Not even selfies/face shots? I get why I should avoid photos with my group of friends, but why not pics with me by myself? Not even me playing (no concert/band photo sadly)? Btw, thanks a lot for your help …
/r/seduction11/08/16 09:03 AM
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It's not like I don't like going out per se, I love going to concerts (too bad I always miss the ones I like), I love hanging around with my friends. But that doesn't net me many women, especially with my friends. I never thought in that way though. I never tried tinder, can you give me any tips on what to do/what to avoid doing with my profile? A woman's perspective is surely precious.
/r/seduction10/08/16 08:08 PM
1

Ohh, now it's much clearer. Now that you made me think about it, I always imagine myself failing at what I am about to do. That's a great mindset for work and study, but for everything else it's a pain in the ass. Do you have any idea how to free myself from this? Any mental exercise/routine/jedi mind trick you know? Btw, thanks a lot, your help is really enlightening:D
/r/seduction10/08/16 08:03 PM
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I thought about that, but I can't take a decent picture of myself. I always look like a moron or someone who's high as fuck. Any ideas to take a better picture?
/r/seduction10/08/16 06:02 PM
1

I wholeheartedly agree with your ideas, but I simply don't meet 10 women a day unless I'm at the university. The point is that I rationally don't fear rejection, but I still kinda feel scared when I tell myself to approach, and then I don't. It's something beyond reason.. Also, I tell myself: if she said "yes" where could I take her for a date? And I panic internally Also, in my free time I never find women close to my age. That's why I'm here.
/r/seduction10/08/16 05:59 PM
1

Meetup.com, I'll give it a shot when I'll be back home. i simply hope it is popular here in my country. Yeah, I feel I could be somewhat an interesting man for women. Too bad I rarely find women to have a nice conversation with..
/r/seduction10/08/16 05:53 PM
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I'm 20. And if it may help, I can drive. I have quite some freedom, I just don't know how to make use of it
/r/seduction10/08/16 05:50 PM
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I like your advice and style a lot, you are always motivating, could you expand a bit the last paragraph though? I feel like I'm missing something obvious
/r/seduction10/08/16 05:49 PM
1

Wow, why all the hate? I'm a terrible writer and english is my second language, I did not want to give you such a bad impression of myself.
/r/seduction10/08/16 05:46 PM
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Oh, that makes sense. Maybe I look a bit nerdy. To say one, in winter/autumn I wear botton-up shirts practically every day, but hey, I like how I look in them. Afterall, I am a nerdy. then go out to the stores j listed above and make it happen. Yeah, I should. Too bad that these shops aren't as popular here in Italy, but I get your point. Also, I was planning to get new clothes eventually, but I'm on a diet and I still need to lose weight (about 5kg). Is it a smart idea to buy clothes now or I s…
/r/seduction06/06/16 12:04 AM
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Oh, I see. The post almost (but it could also be me being tired) seemed to say "find no joy in having success"; which seemed pretty... Pointless? However, I get it's more like "Hooray, now go back to work"
/r/seduction05/06/16 11:19 PM
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Wait, could you please explain this one?
/r/seduction05/06/16 10:42 PM
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Sorry if I come off as dumb but what does [...]make a game plan. Mean?
/r/seduction05/06/16 10:31 PM
2

I just hope that I will somehow find the force not to give a fuck. Who could've expected that the stoics were right? I must become more stoic. Also, I'll read this sub a little more and not just for tips on overcoming approach anxiety(that have yet to work :<)
/r/seduction03/06/16 03:39 PM
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Thanks for your kind words man :D We've all been there, you just gotta keep getting out there and doing it If I only attended places crowded with chicks! You may say "you said you study at the university. There are endless chicks there!" True. But not in the physics department. There aren't many women and the few that are there are already taken (that's some kind of interesting trend); and I have little time to go out to "hunt" randomly (exams are coming really soon). Not that I'd have many cool…
/r/seduction03/06/16 11:21 AM
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I wouldn't say that not giving a fuck is "ignoring your thoughts" Let me fix: ignore my cowardly thoughts. I feel like I wouldn't care much about what others think, but my biggest "what now?" is when I think "how the fuck do I flirt". I get all the "go there just to meet", but then? That's something that I can't help myself with (as I said earlier, I have less than 0 experience with this kind of things)
/r/seduction02/06/16 06:19 PM
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This makes sense actually, but starting not to give a fuck is really hard for me; I am not one who is able to ignore his thoughts.
/r/seduction02/06/16 09:11 AM
1

By living for yourself and doing what you want with your life while not worrying what everyone else thinks. Be a leader, not of men, but of yourself. Always challenge yourself. Realize that you're not perfect (and nobody is) but that life is a journey and you can go out and make whatever you want of it. Never let life get boring. Always have something on the go and always be working to make yourself better. Do all that and everything else will just start falling into place. I like your words, bu…
/r/seduction03/10/15 06:15 PM
1

You know what, mate? You are goddamn right. When I wrote the OP and the replies I was tired and in a bad mood, very pessimistic and demoralized. However, now I managed to take a break from my bad thoughts(I can't do it, I'm scared etc..) and I can see that my attitude was really destructile and pointless. Now I feel like I wouldn't be afraid of approaching. Actually, if it wasn't so late and if I hadn't felt so tired, I would have tried my luck for sure. Holy hell man, you're right, I'm my very …
/r/seduction02/10/15 10:58 PM
1

I get what you mean, but if it had been simply Willpower. I would have solved it many years ago. There's something that it's not ok with my personality or with my mind. There must be some deeper cause to that fear, it is really not normal. It's also why I gave you a very low risk way to get started. I know, but how does one speak one hour with total strangers? I don't even know what I could talk about. Also, wherever I go, I always find people too busy to care. Everybody is going somewhere to do…
/r/seduction02/10/15 07:07 PM
1

The point that this whole situation is a paradox. I'm too scared to approach. To stop being scared, I need to approach. But I can't, since I'm too scared. How do I break the chain?
/r/seduction02/10/15 06:10 PM
1

Spend an hour talking to every single girl you come across.[...] The issue is not simply speaking to women (I can do that normally) but approaching them with the intent to attract them. Attracting women is a skills that I don't have. I can't flirt, I don't have the courage to communicate interest and therefore I tell myself "holy hell, if I am not going to succeed, why even bother?". Also, I keep being afraid to end in a painfully awkward conversation and look like an idiot. I imagine that every…
/r/seduction02/10/15 01:19 PM
1

Sorry if I took a lot of time to reply, I've been busy lately. However, I get fixed on "I can't flirt, I don't have the courage to communicate my interest for her, I don't know how to do that in a way that will give me some kind of result, therefore I will not succeed, therefore I get scared because I know that I'm going simply for a big fail and a lot of -psychological- pain" I know, rationally, that if I don't try there is no way that I can learn, but irrationally, I can't get over it. And, be…
/r/seduction02/10/15 01:12 PM
1

I've seen it while lurking, but does it work?
/r/seduction01/10/15 04:49 PM
1

I wish I could just go "fuck this, I'm doing it now!" attitude. But the rest of my thoughts simply oppose completely to that, and I keep not managing to defeat AA.
/r/seduction30/09/15 09:11 PM
1

I feel your pain mate, years and years passed with that feeling. Why?
/r/seduction30/09/15 08:59 PM
3

I know and you're right, but I still can't bring myself to do that. It is something that goes beyond me, despite all the regret and anger, I just can't. And I don't know why.
/r/seduction30/09/15 08:33 PM
1

Thank you mate :D
/r/seduction30/09/15 08:17 PM
2

How much do you like anime? You know the answer to that question and from that you can tell how much time you want to invest in watching anime. You like anime? No reason not to watch, do not deprive yourself of things you love. However, it shouldn't take the place of more important things. As a key rule, if you're sacrificing something else for anime, you may be overdoing it. Skipping lessons to watch anime? Bad. Refusing to go out with your friends to watch anime? Bad. Taking time from studying…
/r/seduction27/09/15 12:00 AM
1

Ok so from what you're telling me, your AA more comes from a stand point of showing interest Also, but not only. I find it quite difficult to start conversations with people I don't know. When it's about stuff I need to do (like: starting a conversation with the shop clerk to buy stuff, asking questions to teachers and professors) it's unpleasant but I manage. As soon as the necessity, the practical goal goes away, it becomes much harder. For instance, once I went to a concert of a famous artist…
/r/seduction25/09/15 10:17 PM
1

You know, there's other places it can come from. It can be a self worth issue Well, that is possible, but I can't really tell. For that matter, I don't think myself to be a sub-human or whatever. I don't also think myself ugly (but not handsome, either). Probably that's not the problem. more importantly, a fear of the unknown Possible, but I also can't tell. I have no problem itself with speaking to girls, I can have totally normal conversations with chicks. The thing is that I when I approach s…
/r/seduction24/09/15 10:40 AM
1

No, it isn't. I have my good deal of friendships. I manage to have normal conversations with girls, but I just can't bring myself to start conversations. Or to flirt. Or show interest.
/r/seduction24/09/15 10:30 AM
2

Despite not caring about others' judgment and not fearing rejection, I'm still drowning in AA. Why?
/r/seduction23/09/15 05:11 PM
1

You play in a band? Kinda, but we've meet really few times, we'll need more time to get anything going. Sing in front of people! But I'm not the singer! :P Try to I organize some gigs. Well, as soon as we will be in a decent shape, we will try. However, I did find the things that keep slowing me down. The first is that I simply think too much about approaching on a "theoretical level" i.e.: I think too much on how I would go there, what I would say, how I would say that, etc.. I don't think abou…
/r/seduction19/09/15 01:52 PM
1

All your advice is really appreciated, still: If you don't want to play in front of people, then ask someone to jam I already have my band. When we'll be in a decent shape to play gigs, I can see that it will make me meet lots of people. Hopefully. what kind of girl do you like? Sporty? Well-traveled? Artsy? Use this to pick your activity (along with your personal preference.) Could you give me an example? However, I do feel the influence of Mark Mason's Models there. Coincidentally, I read that…
/r/seduction16/09/15 07:22 PM
1

Stop making excuses for AA. You know it's all in your head, so just get out there and force yourself to do it. I'm not making excuses for AA, it's just that it's there and it makes everything a pain in the ass. Eventually I am going to get rid of it. I don't know how, but I know it will happen. Go find girls on your own My problem (I know that I did not word the question well to start with) is to find some environment - excluding the university - in which I can reliably find chicks. Don't please…
/r/seduction15/09/15 09:39 PM
0

Get the focus Not that easy. ADHD is my bane, but I guess that I will manage. There are women everywhere! Go out and find them and stop making excuses I know! But I also want to get some kind of decent social life. My goal is not only picking up chicks, but finding more friends, you know? Also, you know, AA is real and I thought that finding someplace where I can do what I love (I wish I had found it) would help me. You know, the principle is like learning to swim: the first time they give you t…
/r/seduction15/09/15 09:22 PM
6

My issue is that I don't really have much of a social life, besides a group of good friends of min. Which is not bad, we are actually a lot in touch, we meet at least weekly, but besides that and a couple more of friends, I don't have many connections. I don't have any kind of social phobia or such. I manage to keep my friendships in a great state, I have no problem with speaking with strangers or such (well, I do have AA, but that's normal for someone who basically never approached). The point …
/r/seduction15/09/15 09:00 PM
2

The essentials of Seddit are also about improving yourself, being happy and then sharing this happiness with others. Also "leave her better then you fond her" is probably the biggest difference between here and TRP. And that's what I hope that I'll be able to do with your help.
/r/seduction01/06/15 05:31 PM
2

What kind of education would do this? Well, probably I expressed myself incorrectly. As many children do, when I was a kid I spent more time with my mother than with my father. My mother is an introvert, so I kind of inherited that way of thinking, even though it would be retarded to blame her for my lack of social skills. n waiting: not necessarily. I'll just mosey over to someone who looks interesting after noticing something about them and start up based on that - If they're busy I'll find so…
/r/seduction01/06/15 05:30 PM
2

Damn, sorry for the duration on that one. Sorry for what? You're being really helpful, and reading is not something cumbersome. I don't really get people who get annoyed reading something longer than 2 sentences :P When I start conversations with people I tend to begin with situational observations "Carpe Diem" I guess I'll need to wait until I have chance to speak up. Another thing I do is place myself within relatively close earshot and wait for a topic and moment in another group's conversati…
/r/seduction01/06/15 01:13 PM
1

in "How to win friends & Influence people" I know that book well, and I read most of it, that's a good read. You know, it feels really positive and I find it very relatable. Carnegie tells you to be honest, caring and generally a good man; whereas many tips from "pro PUAs" feel like fast ways to become jerks/clowns. giving sincere appreciation to others and being interested in them makes people like you. I know! My issue it's irrational. It is something between the fear of being corny and a lack…
/r/seduction01/06/15 01:06 PM
1

ETA: Compliments mustn´t be limited to looks. "You´re doing a great job", "Good achievement", "That really was a nice story" etc. are all great, too! I know, but that still makes me feel a kind of lackey, you know? I feel like I am somebody who speaks good words just to impress/win someone's favor. But still, I guess it is linked with all that "give no shits of what others think", right?
/r/seduction31/05/15 03:01 PM
1

I think you should read models to make sure you arnt neady. Then go talk to girls and random people, with some life in your voice, just get as far as you can in a conversation. And eventualy you will figure out what creates a good energy. Just try and you'll get there! Then it seems I simply have to practice.
/r/seduction31/05/15 02:16 PM
1

Just make it another sort of homework to tell women one thing you like about them. Start with your mother, sisters, female friends. Everybody likes sincere compliments. And this is value-giving and not "Beta behavior" becuase you do it because you feel like it. You like it, you´re confident and you don´t seek validation. As long as you aren´t needy you can state your interest as clearly as possible. It will still be fucking difficult to begin giving compliments, I feel like a lackey when I compl…
/r/seduction31/05/15 02:16 PM
3

So, it's essentially about not being dependent on other's opinion of me. Now the point lies in "how do I achieve that?". But I guess the only way is to practice.
/r/seduction31/05/15 02:12 PM
2

You really have to give no fuck. Well, that's gonna be a tough thing to achieve. excuses are excuses and don´t get you anywhere Sadly, I know too well. And that makes me feel miserable. You imagine a negative outcome before anything happens I learnt to imply that things will go bad. In my head I tell myself: "If I imply that things will go bad, once they go bad I'll be prepared. If the go well, better yet" However, this kind of reasoning doesn't apply for everything, it seems. After years of app…
/r/seduction30/05/15 11:40 PM
1

See, I don´t say ADHD is not a problem or so, but don´t let it keep you from practicing It won't! But that's the cause of my overthinking mindset. I overthink because I can't not stop mental activity. After all, it´s more an excuse than anything else. And if you´re talking, listening actively and such, your mind won´t get bored. Just don´t overthink what you will say and so on, it has to be natural after all anyway. Well, I am a good listener, but with girls (well, actually with people I don't k…
/r/seduction30/05/15 11:01 PM
1

Maybe you have the fear thing. Everyone told me I had the fear/ uncomfortable thing but I did not. I most probably do, but I managed to brainwash myself so well that I believe myself that I don't even while I do. Maybe you can make a new friend? Well, I actually have some friends besides the "lazy" ones, but I can't go and tell them: "well, my friends are fucking lazy, do you happen to be doing something on [insert day here] with your friends so I can come with you?" because it would be fucking …
/r/seduction30/05/15 10:33 PM
1

Being rational doesn´t mean you can´t "get out of your head". What do you mean with rational exactly? Anyways, just don´t overthink things. Believe in yourself. Well, my problem is that I overthink many things (maybe that's why I like philosophy? Who knows), and sometimes it is really difficult not to apply that overthinking mindset to everything. I hate to bring this up, but the reason I need all that focusing and overthinking is because I always need something to something to keep myself busy,…
/r/seduction30/05/15 10:22 PM
1

That seems interesting, as soon as I'll have the time I'll surely check that out.
/r/seduction30/05/15 08:43 PM
1

You said you´ve read the sidebar? Re-read the parts about Inner Game. Outcome independent means that you truly don´t care what happens. I know what it is, but I don't know how to be like that. However, I need to know: how do I Get out of your head ? Sadly most of my life has been directed at being as rational as possible. When I was a kid I had lots of anger issues that made me feel miserable, so once I discovered rational thinking, I sticked to it. And it destroyed those anger issues. But now i…
/r/seduction30/05/15 08:41 PM
1

Just be outcome independent and don´t be afraid of failing. The point is that I feel scared by starting to speak to people like that, out of the blues, almost pointlessly. How do I become "outcome independent"?
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:53 PM
1

The point is: how am I going to start approaching girls if I'm simply demoralized/afraid by having to speak to complete strangers? Also, my problem is not lack of success, is simply lack of.. Energy? Courage? Even to start speaking with strangers. And I still feel like I've achieved/solved nothing, despite all the help that you guys are giving me. And I'm really grateful for that :)
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:52 PM
1

Good luck! I hope that helped. Did everything make since this time? You are helping me indeed, and I am grateful for your help :) If you are thinking "fuck, I can do this because of X" Well, all the replies in this thread are starting to make me realize that my "not having a single idea of what to say", is a symptom of something more destructive than this "simple" problem. I realized that my social sense (or whatever it is called), is very undeveloped. I realized that I'm afraid of speaking to s…
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:48 PM
1

If you think you´re boring, stop being boring. Read books, watch shows, get a little into news and politics, be able to discuss some mainstream stuff as a conversational starter. Do I really seem such a boring person? I have many things that I'm passionate about that keep me going on. I play (and listen, obviously) music, I like to read and I follow politics(since you suggested me to :P), but I still find some kind of mental obstacle that keeps me from approaching girls. Then, it must be somethi…
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:07 PM
1

you're not ready to make the change you say you want to. Why? But, more specifically, how do I become ready? If there's one thing I've learned from this sub, it's that you're not going to find the exact answer that you're looking for from anyone else but yourself. You can get guidance, and exercises that will greatly help you on the way, but the only way you're going to learn how to start conversations is if you try and fuck up. And I mean really fuck up. Some of the most awkward exchanges in my…
/r/seduction30/05/15 07:03 PM
1

[...]Then, with each question you get more sexual, "Craziest place you've had sex?", etc. I can't really do that with people I don't know. Hell, I wouldn't do that with people I already know, that seems fucking creepy. Also that whole things seems something made for children, you know. I can imagine myself doing that, and it would be something like Me:"You seem interesting! I have a game we should play... It's called the question game, ever played it?" Her: "...Are you serious?" And then everyth…
/r/seduction30/05/15 02:30 PM
1

You might have to approach repeatedly and have nothing to say That would imply, for me, going there, saying "hi!" and then finding myself completely unable to say anything else. And that would seem quite creepy, to be honest. I have no fear or approaching! It's that I really don't have a single fucking idea of what to say! The problem of If you approach enough women, some of them might be interested doesn't even apply, since I don't have a single idea of even how to approach! Probably I didn't e…
/r/seduction30/05/15 02:24 PM
1

I had this problem exactly. Everyone would say stuff like your afraid and and you need to work on your confidence. That was not my problem. Good, somebody that had my same problem. Well, I actually can't tell if I have a confidence problem, as I had never had a chance to test it, but whatever. You have to pratice flirting until you find your groove then remember how it feels. And recreate it when you want to. How could one practice running if one can't even walk? I don't even know how to start a…
/r/seduction30/05/15 01:58 PM
2

you should work understanding why you find it difficult to make conversations with girls that you are interested in. That's why I came here. Sounds like this is more a confidence issue Why?
/r/seduction30/05/15 01:39 PM
2

Try changing your goal to just saying "hi" to her and nothing more. Trust yourself that you will come up with something to say after that (as you normally would whenever you speak to your friends, family etc). Believe me, I would't have bothered asking for help if it had worked as you say. Even with my friends, when we go out, I tend to shut up until I have something to say because I hardly come up with something to speak about. I either insert(fuck, I can't find the right word) in an existing c…
/r/seduction30/05/15 01:34 PM
1

Err.. I guess I was a bit sleepy when I wrote that, reading that post again while rested makes more sense :P Thanks for the help, anyway.
/r/seduction22/03/15 06:07 PM
1

You use them as a motivational tool. How?
/r/seduction21/03/15 08:35 AM
2

Once more, thank you!
/r/seduction21/03/15 08:34 AM
1

Maaan, what a guide! Really, really, thanks a lot! I happen to have an exercise bike, will it help? Do you know by chance a good channel to learn exercises?
/r/seduction20/03/15 09:45 PM
1

Working out by yourself isn't bad (compared to sitting around). It gives you two of the benefits listed above (physical and emotional). You'll just have to make up for the lack of social interaction some other ways. My concentration is quite bad, so working out by myself is -I believe- essential if I want to get anything done. You mentioned education and money being an issue, which leads me to believe you are around college age. Last year of high school :P but here where I live high school is on…
/r/seduction20/03/15 09:42 PM
1

I don't lack force of will. I make no excuses: music and studying(I'm a lot into sciences, especially physics) are the things that keep me going, they are my passions and I don't really wish to cut the main sources of my happiness. However, as I said before, I lack not motivation. Had I found some kind of plan, some kind of very organized and comprehensive plan for working out at home I'd follow it religiously. Also, AFAIK, most girls hate being approached at the gym.
/r/seduction20/03/15 09:32 PM
1

I have some questions: 1) How do I know how "real" is my confidence? When I think myself approaching people I don't fear rejection and I believe I could actually attract girls, but I fear that once I actually start speaking I'll find myself not being half as confident as I believe (being somebody who tends to speak very fast and stutters a lot because of that, that seems a reasonable concern). How do I fix that? 2) For the most of my life, I've been living my daily life thinking in a very ration…
/r/seduction20/03/15 09:28 PM
0

Well, I'd have a couple of friends to go to the gym with, but it is quite time consuming. And most of my time is taken from music (I play, which is one of those things that makes me most happy) or education (which is really important to me as well). Also, money is an issue; so I guess that gym is out of question. Do you know if there is a way to work out for free? I mean, some kind of plan/set of exercises I can do at home without any equipment? If there's something like that, well, I don't lack…
/r/seduction20/03/15 09:09 PM
9

Just fucking be yourself and don't overthink things. But if I had been myself, I'd overthink. Not everybody has a talent for social interactions, many people struggle even to start a conversation or don't have a clue on how to be confident (not everybody is born with that quality, many need to learn how to be confident) or how to be attractive. You know, just like you can't heal somebody who's depressed just by telling him to not to be depressed, may people just can't be fucking alpha for once w…
/r/seduction20/03/15 06:37 PM
1

For example, I don't.
/r/seduction14/03/15 11:03 AM
1

Start by just talking to random strangers Just have a conversation to have a conversation This is what I find (almost) impossible. It feels really unnatural to me, the simple thought of doing this makes me uncomfortable, actually, this is the very source of my anguish and frustration. Knowing the way to solve my problem but not being able to actually change anything. How do I get out of this mental state? Probably I'm way too rational. I taught myself how to think as rationally as possible, as, …
/r/seduction14/03/15 10:54 AM
1

I do enjoy life, trust me. Probably I exaggerated a bit while writing that, but I do have stuff I enjoy: I love reading and playing/listening to music, but these sadly don't require contact with lots of different people (well, it took me 3 years to find a goddamn band, to be honest, and we're still beginning, so it will be a lot of time until we'll be going at gigs) And, still, I find it hard to come up with something to say out of the blue, so I find it hard - if not impossible - to start conve…
/r/seduction14/03/15 10:40 AM
1

Woah, really? Why? Mind that I tend to exaggerate when I speak in English (which is not my main language) as I learnt it from books and RPGs, so probably I've magnified my words a bit.
/r/seduction14/03/15 10:35 AM
0

For complete strangers, I usually start with small talk, but other people like to go direct and basically say "I saw you from over there and thought you were really cute,[...] Here's where I get fucked. I'm both unable to begin small talk (sorry for horrid grammar, English isn't my main language) and I hate speaking about insignificant things (by that I don't mean that I'm always speaking of philosophy or applied chemistry, I want this to be clear) There is a reason for which I asked what I aske…
/r/seduction16/06/13 10:55 PM
0

Mate, you can trust me, I have lots of intrests. I love reading, I play bass (I love doing that), I listen to lots of music. It's not having intrests, it's just not knowing how to talk about little things (dammit, I don't know how to phrase it). I speak only when it's necessary or when I'm actually intrested in what is being spoken about (being with friends it's different, because with them I'm acutally having fun). Otherwise, I don't utter a word. Anyway, thanks for your help. Also, is that duo…
/r/seduction16/06/13 10:28 PM
7

Ahahaha, and then? She will tell me her name, ok, and then? What's there to be said?
/r/seduction15/06/13 10:35 PM
13

Yet the problem -at least for me- is what to say, not gathering the courage to say it. I literaly have no idea of what to say.
/r/seduction15/06/13 10:19 PM
1

I should I add I'm pretty young (next week I'll be 17). I also don't want to drink.
/r/seduction19/03/13 02:05 PM
1

I've got a problem. I have no confidence issues (I used to but then -in less than one year- I lost 44lbs/20kg, and that made me very confident of myself and of my discipline) and I'm rather happy with my life, but I get TERRIBLY bored with almost anything that other people seem to find entertainig. The things I honestly enjoy are mostly done alone, so I -paradoxally - don't have fun when hanging around with my friends (well, I still have a blast with my closer friends, though). What's the proble…
/r/seduction18/03/13 10:31 PM
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