Speed dating to help approach anxiety?

luaudesign · 2017-06-21T13:48:20+00:00

Talk to lots of strangers on the street, store, bus, etc... not just women, but everyone.
Begin doing stuff you're uncomfortable with and denying yourself stuff you think you need. Something like drinking less coffee, drinking more water, no smoking, no fap, taking the stairs instead of the lift... Learn be in control and what you feel and what you do.

DrBalance · 2017-06-21T14:02:57+00:00

I did a course recently.

A few things I learned - lose the term Approach Anxiety. It turns into this Big Thing that you decide you have, then use it to limit yourself.

You're going to have to just approach. Say 'hey, I wanted to meet you. What's your name?' Or something. Then you just ask what shes up to, and find something else from there. If she's studying, what's she studying? etc. It's going to suck the first few times, but rejections actually feel awesome because you expected them to be some soul crushing event, but really it's just relief that you did it.

I had a friend help me the first time. He tapped a girl on the shoulder, and he pushed me towards her. There was no escape. It did not go well at all. I stuttered out something like 'w-w-what's the occasion?'. I could see and feel the pity and disgust. Her friend even moved her away in between her and the rest of the girls to shield her from me. It was so bad it was funny - so I just laughed and felt awesome. Once you lose that nervousness you start to come across as your genuine self, with soft welcoming body language and your own personality showing through.

Speed dating is for women who don't naturally get approached, so you have to ask what's wrong with them, and how many hundred kg do they weigh or how many kids are they trying to get out of you?

Messisfoot · 2017-06-21T14:07:54+00:00

But your not really conquering approach anxiety. you are meeting these people because both of you have to.

why not just make it less awkward and approach women you meet at parties? That's how I started when I was young.

UoAPUA · 2017-06-21T15:52:08+00:00

Seems like a decent idea man. You're talking to lots of strangers in a small amount of time for the purpose of getting laid and its in a blatantly appropriate environment since everyone is there for the same reason. Can't go wrong with that. Brush up on your outer game and make sure your inner game is solid. Then go for it. I suggest that immediately after or the night of you go out with some buddies and do some cold approaches. You can carry the momentum from speed dating with you and get some real solid practice in. Hell, invite a girl or two at speed dating to meet up later and you got an instant date going.

with_more_feeling · 2017-06-21T14:58:44+00:00

Focus on making the approach, adding value and ensuring that regardless of outcome...

You don't react in a spiteful way.

After you've begun to get some stuff to talk about.. Learn to "sit" with the nervousness.

Feeling the way your body reacts when you're shaking-in-your-boots nervous and then doing the approach and interaction anyways.

GoRedBad · 2017-06-21T17:28:20+00:00

Why are you anxious?

Not being facetious, I'd like to know YOUR specific reasons for hesitation and not approaching.

DirkDieGurke · 2017-06-21T18:22:40+00:00

Good news, you're just like anyone else. You can try whatever you like. Force yourself to approach, speed dating, salsa lessons, anything you like. Repetition and experience breed confidence.

alterpseudoego · 2017-06-21T19:10:42+00:00

Have you considered asking a friend for help? It seems that a lot of late bloomers here had an easier time approaching when they had someone to push them. Another thing is watching pickup "infields" on Youtube. It's kind of like looking at pictures of insects when you're afraid of bugs, it helps. At least to me it did a little.

savagesteve_13 · 2017-06-22T04:13:02+00:00

Sure why not, it goes so fast you might not have time to get self-conscious. Just remember its for fun, so be fun and friendly.

The1InCharge · 2017-06-23T06:42:06+00:00

It can be a huge help!! I've done it a few times and loved it because there's zero pressure (no one be rude), you get to talk to 10 girls in a night and you get to feel normal because none of the girls you meet at speed dating are freaks! Highly recommended

comicgrl211 · 2017-08-28T00:22:53+00:00

Hey I know this is relatively old but this is a great idea. However, I just don't even know where I would start. I'm 21 also but I'm a girl and I feel very out of place approaching a man first.

sergeant_flem · 2017-06-21T13:31:45+00:00

It might or it might not, I usually find that speed dating is more for the late 20s and older crowd. At your age you'd be better off finding an activity with people your age and socializing there.

What personally worked for me was to learn how to befriend women before pursuing them. Keep in mind that being their friends will NOT make them want to date you, but that is not your goal. Your goal is to become more comfortable around women. Its extremely important that you make a separation between girls you want to date, and girls you just want friendship with. Once that line blurs things start to get ugly.

Woujo · 2017-06-21T14:24:29+00:00

No because it's not approaching.

You just have to do it.

TunechiOnYoTunaFish · 2017-06-21T13:22:18+00:00

Good on you for tackling this issue so young! Some of us are much older and are just starting to practice this stuff.

I think it could help with the overall experience of meeting someone brand new and breaking the ice, which is never a bad thing. But I don't think it's going to do much for your AA, because it doesn't require you to truly "approach" anyone. The ticket price of the event does the approaching for you. It's not really approaching a girl if she's actually required to sit there and talk to you for 3 minutes. Approaching is the ability to go and talk to a woman (or any person) completely on your own, with no social requirement. In my (limited) experience, the only way to truly get more comfortable with approaching is to just sack up and deal with the inevitable awkward, uncomfortable stages of crashing and burning over and over. And over.

And over.

progggrammerr99 · 2017-06-21T13:40:23+00:00

Use a canned opener such as "where is the nearest pet store?"

Title	Speed dating to help approach anxiety?
Author	Sinenominibus
Upvotes	18
Comments	53
Date	June 21, 2017 1:04 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/6ilojk/speed_dating_to_help_approach_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/speed-dating-to-help-approach-anxiety.1429269 https://theredarchive.com/post/1429269

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