Greetings Seddit!

As far as I understood, the main principle of this sub is becoming a better person to be able to attract people - especially those you're attracted to - better. My problem lies in that I can't even help myself!

Let me explain: I, cyclically, fall in a phase - a state of being, I mean - in which I'm very concerned about finding myself a significant other. During that phase I fall into a state of anguish, as I don't have the social skills to get that by myself. "No problem" I said while heading to Seddit. While I read first posts ("Read THIS then THIS" etc..), I feel even more anxious and confused. I feel like most of what you say can't be applied, as I really struggle to imagine how to put in practice your advice.

Which is the very cause to my added anxiety.

For instance I find very difficult to start conversations with people, unless there is a practical reason (ie: I need to get something done, I'm working with them, etc..) or I already have some confidence with them (I don't have this kind of problem with my friends). I feel like I don't have anything to say, I can't find anything to be said. This applies to "normal" people and girls I have interest with alike. However, all that anguish I feel makes me very underperforming and it destroys my concentration. As you can see, it's a vicious cycle.

Mind me, I fear not rejection. I've been rejected once, and I actually found it liberatory, so in the worst case scenario, I'll be relieved of that weight. I also don't suffer of one-itis (this time!). Not being able to do anything for myself causes me to feel frustrated, which doesn't make anything more that making me even less concentrated.

Tell me seddit, how do I help myself?