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StrainingMyNeurons Archive

View 13 posts and 796 comments by StrainingMyNeurons on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1469

FDS MEMESStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:50 AM
300

FDS MEMESStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:39 PM
293

MALE DEPRAVITYStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:55 AM
195

#JustLVMThingsStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:45 AM
139

PICKME CULTUREStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:41 AM
133

MALE DEPRAVITYStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:52 AM
51

LEVEL UPStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:56 PM
44

FDS ANTHEM 🎶StrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 11:36 AM
22

SEEKING ADVICEStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:03 AM
21

STRATEGYStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:07 AM
3

MOOD FOR LIFEStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 09:32 PM
1

CULTURAL MISOGYNYStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:55 PM
1

LEVEL UPStrainingMyNeurons/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:06 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Apparently, there’s an increasing body of research showing a strong correlation between the increase in loved up photos in people’s social media and deterioration of relationship. It’s like people are trying to convince the world and this way - themselves, that everything is going well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 09:39 AM
2

I was being facetious, but also trying to say that what you see in the lives of others (paired up and having babies) isn’t necessarily the happy picture they want the rest of the world to believe. Now, I am not saying that all is doom and gloom, but waiting for the future, for things to improve once you’re with someone means you’re missing out on the present. I am familiar with this feeling. While it sounds corny, but I now think that the best remedy is to find your own way to really enjoy and a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 09:51 PM
3

Manipulative as any grand gesture involving multiple pairs of eyes staring at you two. Years ago one of my first boyfriend’s mom, who was a beautiful, kind and intellectual woman finally dumped his father, who was a complete misogynistic trash, and looked like one. He bought a shit tonne of roses, printed out her photo with words :”if you see this woman, please give her this rose and tell her I love her”, and was giving the photos and the roses out in a major train station during the peak hour, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:43 PM
26

It did come from Greece. Epictetus was a slave, who was freed eventually, but ended up living with a permanent damage to his leg, broken by a master. I’m currently reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius, which was actually just his personal diary, not intended for anyone’s eyes, so it’s not like a cohesive story, but a selection of wonderful thoughts, still very relevant today.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 01:26 PM
20

Just wait a few more years, you’ll get to my life stage, where everyone’s divorcing and having bitter custody battles and splitting of the money 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 04:41 AM
304

I am a big fan of stoicism and it is absolutely not what the popular misconception makes it out to be. Stoicism came from slaves and ship-wrecked people who lost everything. The four values of stoicism are courage, temperance, justice and wisdom. Stoicism, in fact, teaches getting to know your emotions well, as well as how and when we express them so that they don’t control us and wreak havoc with our lives. It also teaches kindness and affection to others, always doing the right thing and stand…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 03:56 AM
4

I bloody hope so. But I don’t know anything anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 09:57 AM
3

I want to be a sofa|My weird addiction
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/21 06:53 AM
47

I think it was through Dr Gayle Dines podcasts that I came across an interview with a young woman, who got out of prn industry and is now helping other women to do the same. The most heartbreaking thing she said was that she got into prn, because her shitty bf was watching it excessively and also cheating on her, so she thought that if she becomes that “desired” woman, no guy would ever dream of cheating on her, and yet that happened anyway, just with a new dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 10:17 AM
120

WTF. Between this and some documentary on a transsexual who had a compulsion to act out being a piece of furniture (not part of anything sexual, often when he was alone at home) I’ve heard everything, I think. Time to lie down and die.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 10:04 AM
54

Freud wrote a whole book on how jokes actually hide one’s true beliefs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:58 AM
100

Let me tell you, there are plenty of terrifying men with very, very dark minds walking around that most people have no clue about, and wouldn’t even be able to make up the level of hateful and twisted thoughts they carry around. A family member used to get access to forensic reports that detail the horrendous things these men and boys have gotten up to, their inner world, or at least the part that they were willing to share. Many of them fly just under the radar, and your and my understanding of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:53 AM
98

WTF. And your friend should be amazed at hearing them speak, since knuckle dragging primates don’t speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:17 PM
6

I think so, from what I can remember 😆 He might have scowled, or not reacted at all, since he knew he was a perpetual teenager, even in his early 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 12:08 PM
46

When his parents thank you for being his girlfriend 🤡🤡🤡 Ask me how I know and how that ended 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:50 AM
67

What reward?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:47 AM
143

I’m hoping that it’s a fake profile an angry ex has put up to warn women in his area. You see those sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:46 AM
27

An early brain cancer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:44 AM
5

All of them will tell you that even though they’ve separated this morning, “it’s really the same as being single, as we’ve been having problems for two years now”. Yeah, right. Even if that was the case and you grew apart, sleeping at different ends of the house for the past year, at least women know that the counter of resolving your last relationship’s issues only starts ticking AFTER you leave and have a complete closure, requiring at least a year to start thinking straight. But men are ready…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 06:28 AM
11

An single dad is not a man who’s currently single and also happens to have impregnated someone somewhere. It’s a man who raises his kids singlehandedly - he’s a widower, or his wife chose drugs/lover over kids and is nowhere to be seen. Anything else is a deadbeat dad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 02:04 PM
22

A guy told me after just a few messages that he’d be happy to abandon his kids for me, especially since their mother was moving them a couple of hours away 😱 When I told him that I thought he was a terrible person and I hoped his kids never catch him saying things like that, he was suddenly jOkInG. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:56 PM
20

Out him to his mother, so that she doesn’t need to worry about doing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:36 PM
35

I saw some comments speculating that perhaps he may have k|lled the two women and then Gaby after she found out, or her first and then them, trying to rob them, especially if Gaby had access to money and he could no longer fill his tank. Someone had also said that it is possible he dumped her in the wilderness (which is as close to k|lling someone as it gets), and when the killer of the two women also got her, he freaked out, rightfully knowing that he would be the prime suspect as a boyfriend.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 01:06 PM
26

I had a nasty awakening about how mental health issues (at least in women) are treated, even though I don’t have any. This is a bit of an old story, but a few years ago I ended up in a car accident, where some asshole rear ended my car so badly, it spun and hit another car in adjacent lane in the middle of rush hour traffic on a bridge in pouring rain. I thought I was going to fly off it and die. Anyway, I didn’t ask for anything other than the dude to admit he was at fault and let his insurance…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:40 AM
4

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:57 AM
5

I can see what you did there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 01:05 PM
7

American staffy. Will attack with no command if they sense someone is about to harm you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:51 AM
12

Can someone please draw a cartoon of a hiking scrotum? 🤣🤣🤣 I see that a lot of us could relate to being attached to one at one point in our lives !
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:51 AM
4

Can I recommend an American Staffy? Requires training, but the kindest, most devoted dog, and vicious to any strangers at the door. Will always look to your reaction to accept/reject people, and won’t hesitate to give his life for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:47 AM
12

In my pickme days I was the one that suggested a lengthy hike off the beaten path for about a third date, and with another dude, also for about a third date, I took him to a canyon 😱💀 Luckily, both were completely harmless, and I ended up in a short relationship with the second one, but I am pretty sure even they made some remarks about me being a bit reckless...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/21 10:23 AM
14

If you can get in touch with any of his mental health professionals and tell them about killing animals, that would add significant weight to his risk assessment for when he gets locked up next and when they’re considering his release, even if that stuff is in childhood (especially if it was in childhood).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:24 PM
14

Caring professions attract a decent number of sociopaths, because they are also positions of power. Be especially vigilant around men in those types of jobs, any yoga gurus, youth volunteers and such.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:16 PM
45

Kim Saeed is also great - she has YouTube and Facebook channels. The best you can do now is to block him and all his associates on everywhere, and not respond to him in any way, especially not on social media. I know it’s very tempting to “set the story straight” and have your justice, but it will only make you look as bad as him, or, that his crap about you was justified. I had a similar situation and am very pleased now that I never sank to his level. Any people who will get involved in any ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 01:05 PM
13

Haha, it’s not all like that 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:55 PM
21

Their charm is how they get to be promiscuous. It’s definitely not their natural looks, not for most cheaters, anyway. If they charm you, or if you find them charming, so will the next woman, and the next. Being charming is a bad omen. It is not a character trait, it is a consciously chosen behaviour with a goal in mind, hence charmING. Beware of anyone who is charming, of any gender.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:54 PM
3

You might be right. After I returned home, I was trying to look up if there are any police requests for help regarding any women’s disappearances in NJ and NY areas, but since I am not from or in the US, I didn’t really know where to look and Google wasn’t much help. I just hope he didn’t end up hurting anyone. He definitely had Ted Bundy vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:42 PM
89

I knew a guy who was physically and possibly mentally disabled, but crafty enough to put together an ok looking dating profile and set up sex dates with unsuspecting women. He knew full well that he looked and presented nothing like his profile (he was absolutely revolting), but that many women felt terrible turning down a disabled man and would end up having sex with him. He was a terrible human being without conscience, who also happened to be disabled. He also bragged about having been to som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:37 PM
51

He had these predatory looking teeth and a creepy smile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:27 PM
169

Another thing to remember from The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker, is that too many details (meaning any unnecessary details) in a stranger’s discourse when asking for help should ring your alarm bells. I forget the exact terminology he used, but if someone’s asking you to, e.g., let them into the apartment building that has a coded entry, that’s already a red flag, but if they start throwing in details like “I’m a nurse/fireman, been working really hard through a night shift, and now my phone …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 12:26 PM
13

I’m still not entirely sure, but part of me feels that this was what he was attempting 💀😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 02:44 AM
46

I’m reading the update about this story and getting chills. A few years ago I was in a long distance relationship with a scrote from NJ. He worked for a global personal care product organisation and would fly regularly to various countries including mine. I came over to the US to visit family, and also to do a road trip with him around North California, including Yosemite. Everyone who met him thought he was such a cute, mild-mannered, family oriented guy. Something happened as we entered Yosemi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 11:13 PM
71

Act really cute and terrified, clinging to the police officer, because that’s the only way they would see you as a legitimate victim. Say things like:”I’m scared of him, please don’t leave me with him” etc. Nobody (i.e., MEN) likes a victim that has a full range of emotions, especially anger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 10:43 PM
2

Thank you ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 02:00 PM
3

Re. the red flags it’s best to have a look at the handbook - there are some wonderful resources there, I couldn’t do a better job ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 01:59 PM
3

Awww, poor love, blaming herself! She did the right thing - her intuition went “red alert” when she caught him snooping, and while she may not have known this consciously, her brain must have told her that the reason he was getting suspicious because he was a cheater himself, this is pretty standard for cheaters. The stuff she found on his phone was revolting and sufficient for yeeting him into the moon, and it doesn’t really matter what discussions they had after and whether he got upset. It se…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:56 PM
8

A couple of huge red flags for me: 1. The age gap (and I will get more into it in the second point), 2. Him hiding his vasectomy until you have formed an attachment to him. This is the sort of thing that men should (and many do, even on online apps) be upfront about before they waste any of your time entertaining them. While you may not want children or are undecided, the fact is that they know that the vast majority of women do want children. So he knowingly misled you, hoping to railroad you i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:41 PM
6

How about adopting one?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:23 PM
6

That’s a terrible public humiliation and a knife in the back that she enjoyed twisting, by the looks of it. Grieve for the friendship (I have a couple of childhood friends that I cut out, and the grief still comes back years later, just weaker and shorter every time), but never sign yourself up to be someone’s emotional punching bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:22 PM
8

Yes, this is why I have been avoiding this sub for a while, because it just depresses me and makes me lose hope in the world in general. My girlfriends have also said that they prefer to stick to the podcast nowadays.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:17 PM
5

This too shall pass. You can’t hurry it along though, but you can do some things that will ensure you don’t extend the grieving process. Numbing yourself with drugs, alcohol and similar will certainly drag it out, and possibly put you in the place where you will try to contact him just to regret it immediately afterwards. Otherwise, keep doing what you’re doing - hanging out with friends is very important, even if you just sit there quietly and not feeling it. Fake it till you make it. And remem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:13 PM
5

If you google, there are some reviews and small excerpts from it on various websites. Also, I think you get a free audio version with Audible’s free trial - just don’t forget to cancel the subscription when the trial ends!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 10:09 PM
13

“Active on OLD” = a diseased community dick with no repeat customers. I have seen some dudes turn up on my dating apps again and again, some very good looking. Of course I thought there must be something wrong with them, not to be snapped up, even just based on looks alone. I matched out of curiosity with a couple, and they were all so off putting from the beginning that I blocked them straight away. They were either after something very obvious from you (a visa, a place to live in), or were tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 09:54 PM
9

Your poor kid. What a blow from someone who’s supposed to be your protector, but it seems to me that your ex has done you and your kids a huge favour by showing them what a trash he is. You won’t have to wait for your kids to “see that for themselves” as you share custody (i.e., let the trashy ex have all the fun with them on the weekends once you’ve done all the hard work during the week).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 09:46 PM
6

He can, if he wants to. Nobody cares 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 09:34 PM
3

Welcome 😌☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:28 PM
3

It’s easy to think therapists are expensive, but if you add the costs of keeping a LVM (paying 50/50 for and attending shit events you have no interest in, surprises and gifts for him, taking the time away from your social circle to entertain him, losing out on promotions at work because you have no mental energy left, ruined health when your body goes into red alert) - the therapist’s costs pale in comparison. Plus, you might end up seeing one anyway, once the scrote has done enough damage to y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 01:27 PM
70

I will admit, I was one of those women, until I knew better. But it took me many years to know better, because I was raised to help anyone and everyone, effacing my own needs and boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 12:51 PM
16

Thank you for the award, kind stranger!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 12:50 PM
41

They always, ALWAYS, fish for women with the pictures that their exes took of them. Ask me how I know 🤣 Men are typically shit at taking good photos, so the only good ones they have are the ones we took of them - and why shouldn’t they be the best? We did this with love, knowing them intimately and showing them at their best angle, hiding things they are embarrassed of etc. When you look at the next Tinder hunk, with this deep gaze into the camera, do you think it was his uncle or boss on the ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:25 AM
14

So catchy! I’m singing this in my head now 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 06:04 AM
451

Behind every one of those men there is a string of exhausted women, who acted as their free therapists, masseuses, comedians and bangmaids degraded in every way the scrote could imagine, who eventually gave up just so that the next woman could take over. It usually never ends. I would like to be pulled through life like that, cajoled, entertained, cooked and cleaned for, with fanfares and trophies each time I complete a task that is expected of a middle-schooler. But I can’t, because I’m a woman…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:58 AM
110

And even if you are married, you’re not entitled to having a free reign with your wife’s finances.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 05:38 AM
9

I think I registered the uncomfortable feeling when he asked me of my home ownership status, and then started assuring me he was looking to buy also, but it sank in after the date. I know I process things like that, so I try to be as careful as I can during the date with listening more and talking less, and then process everything properly in a day or two afterwards, once the feelings subside and slot themselves where they should be, so to speak 😌 In many other ways, this guy was delightful, at …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/21 03:45 AM
18

You’d have to list someone as your official guardian or advisor, but that could be very tricky if you pick the wrong person or company. Maybe getting a lawyer with good public reputation to look after your interests with some specific clauses in the contract that they will act on your behalf when you can’t as decided by medical professionals, but up until then they can advise you, with the final decision being yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:44 PM
73

I will add to this that a woman should never flaunt her income or wealth of any kind. There will always be moochers and scammers to rob you blind, even if you don’t think you have much. Some men are content with a minimum, as long as that minimum is paid by the woman, as they are too proud to get state handouts. I had a childhood friend that I cut out of my life a year ago for a whole bunch of reasons, but mainly for being a covert sociopath. She did have a habit though of falling into her own t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 10:32 PM
14

One of many reasons I am glad to be of the age that I am (30s/40s).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:43 AM
2

I do hope you’ll be able to make the most out of your new circumstances. I really can not imagine the lack of responsibility that men like that can feel. I would be guilt-ridden if I tore someone away from their network of support, culture, family and the just disposed them when they no longer excite me. A couple of days ago I had to attend to a house where a tree had fallen over its roof, and a twin tree was threatening to fall over a small neighbouring cottage. We sorted the fallen tree out an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 01:27 AM
2

That’s after he’s taken five precious years of your life, in which no doubt you’ve made sacrifices for the marriage. Also, every year that passes makes it more difficult to find a suitable partner, as people are pairing up. For women, who want to have children, these men rob them of their healthy fertility window. Other women are robbed of opportunities in promotions, career and education, when they get saddled with kids that she will have to care for on her own. I don’t know which one applies b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 01:07 PM
2

WTF. I think this really tops everything I’ve heard 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 12:58 PM
37

I knew this wanker from NY that would jump on any latest “good fight” wagon that was there and post about it on any social media accounts that were attached to his real name. If you looked at his FB, you’d think he’s almost a saint- beautiful photos of him with his mother and girlfriend, talking about the most important influences in his life being these two “amazing women” etc. In person he was softly spoken and pleasant, offering to lend quite expensive hobby equipment to those he barely knew …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:06 AM
114

That’s pretty sad of him. What a life - skating on its surface instead of experiencing the depth of true connection, with nose down to the ground, following pu$$y.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:55 AM
71

You couldn’t make it up! 😆 My stupid ex, who was a private physio for babies and charged their distressed mothers with no shame for unnecessary treatments, declared all the cash fearing the tax man, even though his patients often did not want receipts. Yet, at one point, by pure luck I bumped into him outside shops, about to arrange a deal with some really suspicious looking, scrawny street characters, where they were about to sell him two laptops in a zipped backpack for a price of a few good d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 01:54 AM
1

Sadly, I think you’re right 😥 Shouldn’t yoga and other sports I described mean that the person is anything but narcissist? These activities should be about self awareness and self discipline, and not sticking your dick into anything warm... Might just through everything I ever learned out of the window, as it no longer seems to hold truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 09:39 AM
70

She’s not sure cause it suits him to keep her unsure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 10:17 AM
6

I would absolutely love to read more posts about that! For someone who’s enjoys intellectual conversations and art/literature, the choice seems to be either choosing someone you will not be able to have those conversations with, or someone who will use their intelligence to sadisticly gaslight you after abuse. I also noticed that men that are into acro yoga, slacklining/highlining, doing this twirly thing with fire on sticks and similar are into polyamory, BDSM, general cheating and other means …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 09:45 AM
42

He has several, all adults now. I think that’s one of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 09:26 AM
25

You brush your cat’s cheeks with a makeup brush 🥰🥰🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 08:58 AM
50

How are men like this not disgusted by their behaviour AND how do other men not beat the crap out of them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 05:25 AM
16

Well, me (a stranger), your dad and friend couldn’t have drawn the same conclusion if she didn’t sound sus. We might be wrong, but you don’t want to find out after another spiking incident, which may not end so well. It’s terrible that this happened to you and yet so lucky that you remained unharmed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 05:23 AM
55

She fucking knows something. Definitely stay away from her and the the rest of her cronies. Just because she is a woman and the rest of them were gay doesn’t mean they were incapable of doing it. Maybe they did it just for the hell of it, or one of the dudes decided to test it out on you before he spikes a guy (hello, Dahmer). Maybe she had no idea, but someone confessed and she’s hiding them, cause you “turned out ok”? Maybe it’s the drunk friend who was so insistent on not calling ambulance? F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 04:29 AM
29

I hope I am wrong, but you may have been either exposed or subjected to what you described. Barbies in 69 might be just a way to stack them, but the other things you described, would not be something a young child would come up with independently. I am just hopeful that maybe you accidentally got a peak of what adults were watching and that was that. But our memory has a way of blocking things out to protect our young developing brain in the moment of trauma. There is also very little evidence t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:54 AM
31

I had a childhood friend, who was from a well to do family, her father was a nationally known architect. He was also a revolting 200kg blob, who used to leave porn tapes lying around in the hallway, and, when my friend saw the shock on my face, said: “oh, it’s just my dad and brother who watch them together”. TOGETHER! The brother was 14 at the time. There were other things, like her father would refer to me as “that friend of yours with big knockers” (we were about 15-16), she also caught him m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/21 06:45 AM
3

First of all, I am with you and I am sorry this happened to you. This man is a dangerous predator - he planed at least some steps of this event (getting you drunk, plying you with drugs, having sex with you when you were unable to consent), and he knowingly made you go against one of your values (you say no to drugs). Keep away from him and see if you can get some legal advice about at least making a statement to the police, but I wouldn’t hold my hopes high for it. You could, however, contribut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:57 PM
2

Thanks, everyone, for your great advice and for putting so succinctly what I couldn’t verbalise! I guess I am still exorcising the guilt and the need to put everyone else’s needs before my own.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 01:47 PM
2

Oh no, therapists, social workers etc. will tell you that seeing others do well, even in small steps, makes their hard work worthwhile. It’s not selfish, it’s something that provides your life meaning and purpose to your existence. If you look at Maslow’s pyramid of needs, it’s the highest one - self actualisation, meaning that many people never even rise above other needs to even consider it. It’s normal and natural for us to want to see regular validation of our efforts of kindness. And someti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:07 AM
3

Well, getting your friends to make recommendations for you and a bit of match making might not be a bad idea, especially if you ask them to be a bit more proactive with it. In regards to FDS meetups, there have been previous posts about this and the consensus was that it is probably not the best idea for us to ever meet each other due to risk of some scrote posing as a woman, then ousting the rest and potentially putting their lives in danger. There was someone trying to organise, and, after a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/21 11:02 AM
3

You don’t need any certificates for a support worker job, or even experience. The companies ARE desperate. And it does not have to be a depressing job - you can work with people with intellectual impairment, who are sweet, funny and loving, but need support getting through the day, and no one is dying any time soon. Plus, you will have support from your colleagues through regular meetings, workshops, and just generally working side by side with your clients. You obviously have the skills and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:10 AM
6

That’s a good one - I’ll use that “but it’s breakfast/lunch/dinner time” 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:05 AM
10

I had a guy book a shit takeaway place exactly one hour before its closing time (8pm, I think), and as soon as we were out he was almost running to his car, most likely to meet someone at 8.30. Blocked and deleted as soon as I got into my car.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:01 AM
18

A guy suggested a drink after a long working day before a long drive home, knowing I don’t drink and I’ll be hungry and tired. He expected me to get myself ready and entertain a scrote with an empty stomach, with some “lemon lime bitters” in it 🤢 Why the fuck would I want that sugar that sticks your teeth together? He also tried avoiding booking or naming a specific bar, thinking that he’ll probably do a quick evaluation based on my appearance and will decide between a cheap bar or an expensive …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:59 AM
22

That phrase “give him a chance” is so fucking infuriating. I don’t owe anybody a chance. Besides, when have you heard “giver HER a chance”? I bet never.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:53 AM
8

There’s a huge problem. Read the post again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:46 AM
8

What a piece of fucking shit and not “just a guy who loooves food”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:37 AM
24

Makes sense - I only ever had terrible skin with acne that wouldn’t go away, recurrent thrush and BV along with pain during sex and abnormal smear test results when I was with an abusive scrote, who was ugly but somehow managed to fuck around a lot. Mostly I think cause he was a stoner and would tackle women who were out of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:27 AM
83

Can someone direct this lovely lady here to see how much support she’s getting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:19 AM
4

I would absolutely loooove to meet people the old fashioned way. I hate OLD and the lack of accountability it provides (no mutual contacts to worry about). But what do I do? I had hobbies for several years that were very male dominated (extreme sports type), and while it was fun while it lasted, I saw absolutely no one that 1. Would be available, 2. I’d be interested in. I have more traditional hobbies like painting, yoga, gardening, I like volunteering in my community, but all these hobbies are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 10:12 AM
13

I am sure you have skills that you aren’t aware of. You most likely have people skills, high tolerance for things like seeing others naked and/or vulnerable and putting them at ease, you are most likely empathic or compassionate. Have a look online for one of those psychological tests that ask questions and tell you what skills you have and what job you would be best suited for. Better yet, see if you can talk to a careers advisor in your local job centre run by government, they have these tests…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:47 AM
12

“Too possessive and insecure to agree with me cheating on her and humiliating publicly”. Don’t feel bad, he is a steaming turd and was always going to triangulate you with this girl or any other girl. Also, I am certain he has zero respect for her and is shit talking about her to others. You might be referred to as “that stuck up cow”, but let me tell you, boys and men like that (I’m your mum’s age group, so seen it all) will share the most personal and most humiliating stuff about their orbiter…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:33 AM
11

That’s gross, why would she do it to another woman and an innocent child?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:29 AM
16

Her parents then, in case she is too ashamed to tell them. Sounds like they’re likely to be supportive. Don’t know what others would say about the secretary’s close circle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:16 AM
14

That sounds great - we far too often project our own good will and intentions on some ambiguous or straight up sociopathic language, refusing to believe that someone could be that rotten.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:13 AM
41

Second that. Get some evidence and send it anonymously to wife as well as to the department managers. Maybe to the guy’s parents as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:11 AM
6

What are your long term plans? Do you plan to invest in a property in an area you really like but can’t yet afford? I’d say that it might be a good idea to research up and coming areas, rent there cheap, watch it get better and maybe suss out if you decide to invest there. If you don’t end up buying there, you will have saved up and will be able to afford a place you want to buy a few years down the line. I did exactly that, and was pleasantly surprised at how lovely my two next door neighbours …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:10 AM
32

A quick question to you ladies, if you don’t mind helping me out with an answer that I feel, is floating somewhere close to my consciousness level, but not enough to be able to put it into words. I’m in the late 30s- early 40s age range, agreed to a drink date (I know, I know, feel free to be brutal) with a guy in supposedly early (but I think probably late) 40s. My excuse is that my past drink dates always turned into dinner dates almost immediately. A quick snoop online revealed he’s most like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:55 AM
15

I hope she awakens one day 😔 But remember, that you can only help someone as much as they allow you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:17 PM
56

Oh, please. Some of my work has involved client organisations with homes for adults with severe mental retardation. And when I mean severe, I mean that they never learned to speak or understand more than just basic words, they can throw a tantrum if they don’t like their housemate trying to interact with them and will smash up the place then be incredibly remorseful about the impulse, they will run wildly into traffic if the door is unlocked and so on. These people have been taught to do their l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:13 PM
18

Good of your father to show the asshole the boundaries. I hope your sister will be able to see and appreciate that one day. My friend has a sister in an abusive relationship and all their spineless father can say is: “god forgives everyone...” and even invite the man to all family gatherings. You’re not god though, you’re a fucking spineless father! This friend has major pickme vibes too, and can even get aggressive during more acute stages. She thinks her parents are an example of lasting, lovi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 11:05 PM
19

You know what, I fucking hate “give him a chance” chorus I hear every time from pickme friends (some are no longer friends), and sometimes well meaning, but ill-informed women. It infuriates me. I don’t owe anyone a chance, go fucking earn it. And you might still not get it, that’s the way it is. These very friends also tell me that I’m absolutely expected to screw a guy by the third date (believe it or not, these women are 40), that’s apparently the convention now. And if you ever take any bit …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:53 PM
2

Hm, you might be right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:47 PM
3

I should have probably been more specific - my last two posts don’t seem to have showed up for some reason. Thanks anyway for checking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:29 PM
8

Aw, thank you! I’m not a newbie though, I’ve probably been half a year or more on this sub?..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:25 PM
14

Also, not related to the topic, but I’m getting a bit frustrated about getting through to the admins - my posts don’t seem to get published and the times I tried to message the generic or specific admin contacts, no response. That’s been going on for a couple of months. Who’d be the best person to contact/how to get this resolved?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:19 PM
43

I’d imagine that most sex workers are sick of their job, and the last thing they want is to log onto some shitty forum to talk more about it in their free time with other women or johns. I think compartmentalisation is probably what helps them to put up with it, i.e., not thinking about that part of their life at all when they’re off work. The ones online are the few privileged ones, where they don’t have to depend on it, have some choice in what they do and think it’s the same for a trafficked …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 10:13 PM
24

Yep, my extremely abusive ex from over 10 years ago fancied himself as Joker and Marilyn Manson, and never missed an opportunity to dress up as them. He was as ugly as MM too, plus terrible teeth and small eyes, like on a pig, almost no whites. On reflection, I now think this and a few other problems probably meant his respectable mother drank heavily during pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 01:20 PM
1

Oh yes, my younger days, when I was broke and did retail and hospitality jobs, where sometimes your boss would also be your landlord, and any new girl would be a potential fresh meat to the scrote. I’m fairly tall (5’9), and they all seem to have come up to my nose or eyes only too. I remember dodging risks in all those situations, where you had to be nice to the bastard, but also not let him touch you. Gross. I was 20 at the time, and they were 35-50.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:15 PM
1

The more things change, the more they stay the same, as they say.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:10 PM
1

I did not put their brand name in, as I did not want to give them more traffic, but they got called out by a user and instead of being humbled and saying:”we’ll do better”, told her to F off. It looks like women are only allowed out in the woods if they pander to a male gaze there, but a crusty scrote is good enough to advertise fashion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 10:57 PM
11

What about the past versions, when the woman would lose her identity entirely and would be Mrs John Smith? TF you calling me John for? Do I look like I have a hairy chest and a beer gut?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 11:01 AM
22

A little?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:45 AM
16

... for him. 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:40 AM
5

It looks like you haven’t read the handbook, as you’re rehashing an old issue. I recommend you read it first.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 10:16 AM
3

I thought he looked like the Lurch from Adams family when I saw this photo.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:34 PM
3

Let me tell you, you haven’t lost out on much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 12:23 PM
6

Schema therapy, usually (but not always) used with abusers and cluster B personality disorders (antisocial, historionic, borderline personality disorders), but even then it has a limited success rate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 11:48 AM
12

She probably tried to subtly tell him something along the lines of: “if she’s gone off you, that’s the end, buddy, be a man, accept it and move the fuck on”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 11:43 AM
9

You’re absolutely right, because there is a fairly narrow window of opportunity to learn empathy (yes, we all learn it, we’re not born with it), that starts closing in early teens, if not before. It is not the child’s fault their adults were shitty, but as an adult you will be absolutely held accountable for hurting others. Plus, you don’t have to have true empathy (to feel what others are feeling) to have a moral compass and do the right thing because you KNOW (as opposed to feel) it’s right. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 11:36 AM
43

Meetup app is great for connecting with people over the same interests - new or old. I’ve met my few closest friends that way, and then other friends through them. In the worst case scenario you’ll end up spending a day doing something enjoyable with a group of relatively polite/friendly people, which will fill your social needs cup for a bit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:33 PM
13

I’ve had an admirer like that for years. There are many things why him and I are not a match, but I can guarantee you, that the minute I’d say “yes” to him, he’d say I’m “too much into it” and would find a way to f*ck off or make my life hell so that I could send him packing. For now he’s a friend and I enjoy spending time with him once in a while, and he knows exactly where he stands with me. If he starts becoming a nuisance he’ll be a goner. I’ve had this in the past, ore than once. Men drooli…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 11:43 AM
35

What the hell is going on with this poly shit? It’s been an explosion in the past couple of years. I feel an explosion of STDs coming on and and therapists/psychiatrists getting richer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 12:21 AM
25

And then they pull their d*ck out of the toilet bowl, back into their pants and then later on expect a blowjob.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 12:05 PM
36

I’d say there’s some bitterness and schadenfreude (don’t think there’s an English equivalent), possibly projecting his own jealousy and anger and feeling vindicated. He may have been cheated on, he may have not been, who knows. Even if he had been cheated on, it could be because he was neglecting his partner/s for too long, treating them like crap. Women usually don’t cheat as easily as men. If he hadn’t been cheated on, it may also be his rotten attitude towards others and expectation that he’l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:41 AM
21

They say they love that, but watch for that quick flicker of jealousy, hanging their head down and quietening of their voice for just a split second when you mention something that they haven’t got or haven’t achieved, even if they are brilliant in every other way and overall more accomplished than you. It is really sad. When we go looking for a partner, we are looking for a union, to support and prop each other in the world that’s often harsh and uncaring. When men do that, they need to constan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 07:36 AM
11

Fucking hell, that’s a whole other level of crazy! Rabid!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 07:07 AM
24

Threatening suicide or self harm in these circumstances is good old psychological abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 07:03 AM
13

Look for a psychodynamic psychotherapist, specialising in trauma and with some years of experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:48 AM
5

...and no need to be under any illusion that’s once he’s seen your love, he’ll stop biting. We’ve all heard of dogs that mauled their owners and had to be put down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:41 AM
377

🤣🤣🤣 “I’m into small dicks and erectile dysfunction”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:54 PM
13

And then there are so-called friends, who say: “but you see, he was doing everything right, and then he suddenly switched, so you must have done something wrong”. This isn’t a game of fucking chess. One wrong move - was too sweet with him that one time, or brought a sandwich to a picnic and it’s too much for the fucking hero to handle. I’m sick of these friends, or those that say that I should have paid for myself on all dates and fucked him on the third one. No. I’ve cleaned up my life consider…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:29 PM
13

You know what, I really love the experience of human intimacy and warmth, including that which is only for one night, without an intention to repeat it. Except that it never happens. Most men are terrible at sex and don’t even try. I have had enough long term and short term relationships and sexual experiences to conclude that one night stands are absolutely not worth it and a waste of time. I’ve had a couple that were just divine, but the rest were so shit, it’s unbelievable - godawful foreplay…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:16 PM
29

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 03:01 PM
20

Guess what, people (men and women) try to insult their psychologists, social workers, therapists, lawyers, financial advisers, accountants and other people that they shouldn’t be fucking around with, because: 1. For a a range of reasons these are the people that have your best interests at heart and are really doing their best to help, when the rest of the world may be against you; 2. They can change things for the worse for you, much, much worse, and you’ll have no clue that they’ve done it. Bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:59 PM
41

What’s a topless blouse if I may ask?! 😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 02:52 PM
16

So you’re on Sugar Baby, Polyamory and BDSM subs? Why are you here too, don’t you end up having a splitting headache from all the cognitive dissonance?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 06:33 AM
82

Oh, that’s the place where “going Dutch originates from”... That explains his shitty attitude and entitlement!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 05:54 AM
1

Thanks for pointing this out - I am familiar with term, but somehow didn’t realise I was doing that. Now that you’ve made me aware, it’ll be even easier to be “boring” and “dull” and excuse my lack of communication with the physical distance ( we moved into opposite directions and are now 2 hr drive apart).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 10:12 PM
20

I have a pickme ex-friend, who seems to derive her value mostly from one-upping other women by sleeping with their boyfriend/husband and then mocking them without having even met them for being stupid for falling for his lies etc. Some of this stuff is downright racist, where she’d say that a scrote’s girlfriend wants to be with him because she’s Asian and he’s white, and “of course they all want him”, while sneering. This especially seems to work if the woman is beautiful, as my ex-friend has a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 12:46 AM
3

Never bet on a potential, it’s not going to get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:33 AM
53

That’s what Jordan Peterson teaches to his disciples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:30 AM
88

Two biggest sl*uts I ended up being in a relationship with ended up giving me an HPV. While it’s not an STD and apparently may come from somewhere else (where? 🙄), it’s funny that it was such a coincidence both times. Luckily for me, it was a non-cancer strain, but it could have easily been.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 09:26 AM
36

Well, at least it won’t demand anal sex and free therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 11:10 AM
-11

Now are you really just curious?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 11:52 AM
13

It’s funny how things like ADHD and mild ASD seem to always be an excuse for the lack of empathy and are more or less included in the diagnostic criteria in so many words, but only seem to apply to men. Women with these conditions seem to go the other way and often have more concern for others, like women with any other diagnosis that makes life harder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:33 PM
6

What crevice of hell do these shits crawl out of... Seriously?!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 08:22 PM
18

Apparently, the stats are that there is a correlation between the increase in lovey-dovey posts and the relationship taking a downturn...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:30 AM
5

You never throw away a library. I’ve moved continents and my books followed me on a literal shipment on a boat. Any scrote that dares to suggest I get rid of them goes overboard immediately. I had one ex that couldn’t maintain his focus long enough to be able to read anything. Yet the focus wasn’t a problem when he was watching disturbing porn and beating his meat into oblivion for hours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:12 AM
16

That shit about demanding to call him daddy, like he was your pedo father... I am sad and angry for you. Hope someone smashes his face in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 11:03 AM
8

I’m originally from Europe, and at one time shared a house with two guys when I lived there. There was absolutely nothing sketchy, as I found the house through an ad in the paper (long time ago!) as I needed somewhere to live. One guy was completely repulsive as a person, and the other one I made friends with, but would have never had any other thoughts about in a million years. The nasty one was a real pig, who was quiet, but arrogant - stealing food and just letting me know “haha, I took your …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 10:58 AM
8

Awwww, squeee, it’s the best of all presents to self I’ve seen so far! 🥰😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 09:20 AM
25

I would say that it’s unusual for someone to have read receipts turned off. I only know one person (my woman friend) who has them turned off, and only on whatsapp for some reason, but not other apps. I’ve never asked her about it, but I might do when I next see her... I’d say with men, having the read receipts turned off sounds like they’re scheming regularly, because it’s never a default setting on any apps - you have to go into trouble to change this. Them further going into more trouble to re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 10:30 PM
25

-any dude insisting on unprotected sex with randos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:34 AM
30

Not idiots, they know very well what they’re doing. It’s benefiting them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:33 AM
12

IQ lower than his shoe size.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:31 AM
45

A male friend of mine told me that men usually see empty bios as “hit me up for anything”. But then again, my girl friend said that she doesn’t put anything, because “her info is none of the strangers’ business”, and she’s been in a LTR now with a decent guy for a while. I’d say you should at least put some things you’re interested in and one or two things that are important to you. I’ve got “I’m looking for someone who also loves nature, values education and is financially responsible”. You can…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:29 AM
21

Dear OP, I felt a wave of warmth from your post as I was reading it. You wrote it so beautifully, so eloquently, and your story also speaks to me, as I had many similar experiences in my younger days, although the industry I was in was not exactly SW. I will concur with other commenters that your writing style is clear, honest and elegant - I suspect that you are already well educated and doing a degree of your choosing won’t be as hard as it would be for someone without your level of education.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 04:04 AM
7

It was some sick power move - whether to one-up you about the house by dumping you, or to put you in your place by getting you to beg him to confirm that you’re a couple now that he has kindly decided not to cheat. My old ex (some 13 years ago) that I had been with for three years pulled similar shit when I excitedly told him over the phone that I got my exam results along with the graduation ceremony details and that he’ll finally get to meet my family (that he has been actively avoiding despit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 06:12 AM
24

You’re making it sound like you’ve uncovered some deep truth, while it’s always been the same old story with men in power (probably with a harsh, unloving mother) looking for what’s familiar in a sexual, twisted way. He’s still getting women to serve him and act out his depraved fantasies. There is nothing for the woman in that. There is no good-pre-50 shades BDSM and bad-post-50 shades BDSM. It’s all there to subjugate women for depraved male fantasies. The difference is only whether the woman …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 08:13 AM
37

I’m sorry, lovely, you lost your parent during this time of the year, which is a hard time for many regardless... And I’m sorry you ran into this scumbag who tore at your wounds. And for the other commenters - our past is ours and ours only. We don’t owe it to anybody, we are not obliged to tell anyone “sooner or later”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:24 AM
12

He’s anything but naive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 11:08 AM
8

If this is a teenager, I am sad for her, especially since her mother should have seen her for the abused child that she is rather than a competitor and not kicked her out. Having said that, I’ve known entire extended families of women, who all were only interested in men that were taken - a pathetic competition, I suppose, where you only see your value in momentarily “winning” against another woman, i.e., by getting a most likely diseased dick with an HPV inside you, just to be discarded. These …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 07:32 AM
1

*who they are. It won’t let me correct the title.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:12 AM
4

OP, would you be able to invite this poor girl over to our side?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:14 AM
47

I would say that he pushed her to have sex BECAUSE she was sick. That’s a power game and that’s why he really looked like he was enjoying himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:12 AM
4

I’d say it’s probably just about having an emotional (and sometimes a literal) punching bag. The rest are just perks that he could live without, but will take since they come for free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:08 AM
9

Shit, I thought he was paying for the OP’s ticket and activity, which was already dull and low effort, but, I thought, may have been kind, depending on the OP’s financial situation. But no, he was a gift himself! 💀💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 01:04 AM
4

Feeling sorry for himself about having Christmas alone when he should be sorry having forced you out to have Christmas in a refuge?...Is there a reason you can block him, at least temporarily so that he doesn’t get to whine to you during this season?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/20 12:33 PM
23

“A regular fuck” is more apt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:56 PM
14

I had massive migraines with full blown aura that would last for three days, and vaginismus. Interesting that both started and ended with an abusive 5 year relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:21 PM
16

I’m glad to hear you’re safe and persevering with your decision. I remember reading your posts when you were on your way to the refuge, leaving the scrote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 01:18 PM
3

Who knows, it could be! 😅 Although it feels a bit hard to believe not because of the probability of this happening, but because it feels like I’m the only one who notices the wickedness in her, as others seem to see her as a bit careless, but quite harmless... Which will make it a lot easier for her to go on a subtle smear campaign, as she does with all her other friends from time to time, but in such a way that sounds like she has “concerns” about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 11:54 AM
6

I gave my user r*pist ex an all expenses trip to Rome for Valentine’s day, where’s he got me nothing and agreed to pay for a pasta dinner in a very cheap pizza place. He then got furious that I was not immediately sure which train we needed to catch to go to the part of town he wanted to visit and that Sistine chapel was shut in Sundays, and that I should have known it, because his whole life’s dream was to see the ceiling paintings there (bullshit). All the while I was having a massive migraine…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 10:59 PM
23

I have seen stuff like this before. It’s usually all manner of johns, attempting to have control over the vulnerable woman that he chooses to be his target. I once heard of a young woman who had been wanting to give up being a stripper years ago, but a similar POS client continued making threats that he would doxx her to her minister/pastor father in law and that she would then be at risk of losing her two young children. I am unsure what the husband’s actions were in this instance, but I believ…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:52 AM
18

Just reprint it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 02:07 AM
3

It’s scary how many psychos have certain similarity in their facial expressions regardless of the race or age. I dated a guy that attempted to send me off a cliff in a very elaborate mountaineering adventure, he also had some terrifying violence fetishes that I found out from looking through his phone on the same trip and dumped him as soon as we returned to civilisation and I was safe among other people. Anyway, my dude was white, softly spoken, but he could have been a brother from another mot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:24 AM
2

I always used to say that I don’t really give a shit about what people think about me or my opinions until one callous fRiEnD attempted to ruin my entire career using ONE throwaway comment I made, because, it turns out, she thought I was going to apply for a job she wanted (I wasn’t). Needless to say, she didn’t win and other scavengers who involved themselves in the story lost their jobs, but I did not really feel vindicated or joyful in any way after six months of stressing while defending mys…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:19 AM
1

Fighting and scars from it is trash. And don’t think that a man who loves to fight one day won’t use you as a punching bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:06 AM
3

I’m stealing your response 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 10:29 AM
15

I often thought about this and it never made any sense: during my younger years when I was a student at uni, I remember that there was a particular kind of women that used to go to gentlemen’s clubs. It was a rare occurrence, but seeing a woman in the audience would always make the dancers brace themselves for abuse that was about to come. The woman would be typically with a group of men (one of the boys?…) and while most men acted ok most of the time (i.e., kept their hands to themselves, would…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:45 PM
2

That has just made a lot of sense. I’ve had a penchant for abusive men until recently, although it has evolved throughout the years from overt overt abusers to very nice and polite cheaters and users. It broke my heart when I found out that my overtly abusive ex shagged a lover in the bed linen I gifted him and didn’t even try to hide it, also gave me some trashy celeb magazines (not my kind of reading at all) leftover from a woman he went on holiday with as “friends” and screwed all over the co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/20 07:56 AM
3

So beautiful. This brought tears to my eyes 👌❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 12:33 PM
13

Well... You could say: “it’s your porn induced erectile dysfunction amongst other things” 😝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 09:12 PM
3

Oh my goodness, that sounds like one low life family that you got away from!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:32 AM
6

Where are these women who genuinely feel that way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:18 AM
16

Probably also beating the kids up when they interfere with his computer games too. Or grossly neglecting them at best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:11 AM
7

Oh my god, trust your instinct, sis. This man is trash and wants to use you as an incubator and ATM and his mother at once. This is really sick, not just a “turn off”. #KICKHIMOUT2020 , it’s not too late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 11:08 AM
3

Your mother isn’t even dead yet and your brother is demanding inheritance???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 10:40 AM
10

While it might be fake, this sounds like the exact same situation, including the words he used when I got promotions/nice projects/new jobs while I was with my ex. Except that he wasn’t unemployed (a cushy tax payer funded job, also in IT), and I’m not in banking. His ass has long been left on the other side of the world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 10:06 AM
13

To me that’s reflective of his intellect and an immediate turnoff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:58 AM
1

Jesus Christ. This is film worthy! Good riddance!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 08:44 AM
23

I think you’re about to cOmMuNiCaTe. You already know what happened between them and are asking questions to be proven wrong. Wishing you strength, sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:15 PM
4

I thought I was going to have Christmas alone. I live on the other side of the world from my family (generally a good thing too, but not in situations like that) and invited my childhood friend I have here for Christmas just to hear that she’s “oh so busy, because she’s already invited so many people over (AKA our mutual friends), but she’ll see me many times before and after Christmas”. Those who know us say that it’s jealousy as I’ve just bought a lovely house in a really nice little town in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 09:11 PM
11

I don’t know, isn’t it becoming the other way round, with all the libfem ways of thinking, raised on hateful porn and expected to do everything that older generations of women did, but also work full time, pay for themselves AND for their useless weakling of a man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 08:59 PM
4

He knew you were potentially dying and did not bother telling you?!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:35 AM
12

I’m 40. I got cancer, it’s taken out and I’m all good now, and it totally wasn’t worth it. The ex-abusers I got the cancer over are elsewhere, gallivanting. And thank god for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 10:03 PM
40

Some men are looking exactly for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:17 PM
2

I have been away from him for ten years now, wouldn’t put up with anything like that again. Funny, at the time I did not realise that this was what it was, even though it couldn’t have been more clear cut. Anyway, for you it’s most important to get through the times of doubt when/if you get them, so that you don’t break and decide to return. If you get that temptation, just remember that it’s only your brain playing tricks on you and that this too shall pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 12:07 PM
68

Let’s call it by it’s real name: “playing”, a grown man still playing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 11:05 AM
10

It’s going to get better from here. Much love. Wish I had your courage when I needed it years ago when I had a rapist boyfriend living in my house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/12/20 10:29 AM
35

And it’s not like they were laughing doing it. The poor women would have been traumatised to end up in this shit predicament, where they have to choose between watching their family member getting murdered and living with the memory of watching the abuser die. Their life will never be the same. And all thanks to a scrote who could have just chosen not to assault a woman he was supposed to love, and ended up getting himself killed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 10:39 AM
5

He was beating his meat to some nasty and violent porn every day in my living room. I felt violated just from that, never mind the actual rapey shit he’d get up to. 😕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:29 PM
8

Yeah, exactly, even without enlargement I can easily look like a cabinet with the top drawer open 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:28 PM
12

All you need to know about this dude is in this photo: https://images.app.goo.gl/9XtNMYcs3agjzxaNA He is disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:44 PM
13

That’s because most men are LVMs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:34 PM
122

I remember contemplating breast enlargement in my early twenties, the same as this woman, because a nasty scrote of an ex insisted. I am tall, slim and have DD size breasts that aren’t the most practical thing to have even on a good day with a sports bra. He wasn’t even gonna pay for them, he was waiting for me to get a payout from a serious car accident I had so that I could end up with a joke on my chest for him. I’m so glad I didn’t. What on earth was I thinking!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:29 PM
9

He should have gone to a drag queen cabaret.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 11:04 AM
13

Yeah, some years ago I knew a few dancer/glamour model girls who had fancy sports cars painted in their favourite colours with personalised number plates and playboy bunny logos everywhere. The fact that they’d invest their money in something that loses its value within two-three years, clothes and holidays (often funding a boyfriend and both of their cocaine habit) should give you a bit of an idea how they fared and whether it was worth it. The OF fad and its product (the girls they’re selling)…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 10:57 AM
8

What about “first round is on me if....” prompt? It should give men an opportunity to be funny and say something that is an obvious joke, like “if you walk in doing cartwheels, while doing juggling”, and even then it’s not a great choice of a prompt. Shouldn’t the first round be on men, always, since you’ve already typically spent close to at least $200 on nails, hair and a new top for this date that’s most likely to be worthless, even if you say to yourself that you’ll still have those things a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 08:18 AM
5

The lowest of the low.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:53 AM
27

If I found out that a close friend knew and covered him by not telling me, letting him get away with it, increasing my risk of disease and death, she’d be more fucking sorry than the dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:36 AM
31

I have a friend (who’s more of an acquaintance now), who proudly told me that one of her BF’s husband one drunken party “asked her to be his lover”. This scrote is revolting looking, his face is all puffed up from drinking (he’s a functioning alcoholic though), he is an embarrassment and can never add anything intelligent to the conversation. His wife looks like a model and is always cheerful and friendly and could do so much better. My so-called friend did not tell this woman about the conversa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 07:30 AM
2

I highly recommended Ken Page’s Deeper Dating podcast, particularly the first 3-4 episodes, where he talks about relationships of inspiration and relationships of deprivation, and how the latter (your case) could feel so spicy and attractive, and how we can wean ourselves off them and begin growing our attractions to relationships of inspiration, i.e., those with people that inspire us with their kindness, generosity and character.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 11:04 AM
6

Anyone asking to play video games or who owns any kind of game playing equipment is also an automatic no from me 🤣 Again, it’s an age thing and also I have been with computer game addicts. Also don’t have discord and won’t be installing any apps for anyone 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 10:35 AM
6

I’m too old for this crap, hence not being up to date with the lingo. Anyone who takes any kind of drugs in an automatic no from me, no matter how infrequently. Past dabbling is fine, if it was at a younger age, but I can not be associate with anyone taking (and possibly keeping drugs at my address!) because of my work. And anyway, drug affected or inebriated people are an automatic turn off for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 07:50 AM
3

What’s smoking up? Is that sucking on a dirty bong together and inhaling carcinogenic and potentially lifetime-psychosis inducing stuff like cannabis or amphetamines or worse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 06:03 AM
9

Your reaction was gold 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:59 AM
9

I’m so sorry, my lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:56 AM
5

Right on, sis! An iron fist in a velvet glove is the best approach/attitude to have! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:46 AM
5

Bears 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:25 AM
7

Whut?...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:25 AM
20

Look at the picture again - there’s plenty of effort and no, it doesn’t look cheap. I had someone respond to me the other day that we don’t go on dates with men who have an alcoholic drink on the date, cause “FDS don’t date alcoholics”. I think some people can get a bit literal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/20 05:22 AM
4

I have this ultimate pickme friend (well, not much of a friend anymore), who kept telling me that I need to allow men to make most decisions, or at least make them believe they did, and apparently that includes all men in my environment, cause “they need it”. One of the most infuriating points was when several of us were planning on going to the beach and a dude friend of ours (gay, used to be her bf many years ago) was being flaky, so I wanted to get him to be f*cking clear whether he’s driving…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 01:21 PM
4

Mean and cold hearted!!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 12:59 PM
9

I’ll bet my bottom dollar that he wasn’t seeing his child. I went on a few dates with a guy, who’d tell me in detail all the cute things he was doing with his daughters on weekends, then I found his ex-wife’s profile on FB, where one of her friends asked whether the girls get to see their dad much, and she said he saw them twice in the past year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 09:14 PM
5

Those who really can’t control themselves are locked up in one type of institution or another.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:27 PM
245

This guy sounds like a complete trash with the gift of the gab and a complete narcissist. When you mentioned that he brought up an ex and depression on a first date, I was like :”girrrrrrrrl....” And then you said that he brought up two more and proceeded to get free counselling from you, followed by a request to bang 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/20 01:05 PM
10

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/20 11:19 PM
87

What big names? Like Her Majesty the Queen of my sorry ass?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:42 AM
133

Same here, eight months of this, including meeting on a DATING app, him asking if I wanted a family and how many kids, meeting each other’s parents, spending camping and outdoor weekends with each other’s friends, all major celebrations. Mind you, I should have realised something was off when he thought it was hilarious when he got me a birthday card saying “happy birthday, you TWAT” , cause apparently he and I were the only people who use that word. Not that I would have ever called anyone dire…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 10:35 AM
9

Hilarious! Also, looks like they went on a date in a field.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 04:29 AM
13

So what I’m trying to say that you and I think logically, where’s this dude is delusional and self-sabotaging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/20 03:23 AM
19

I will be a bit brutal and say that the message I got from the story is “why don’t men pick me?!” I know you’re frustrated and LA is particularly well known for being shallow and ruthless, favouring surface over substance, AND because of that you don’t need to worry about why your friend gets picked. It might me a good idea to think about: 1. Who picks her, 2. With what intentions, and: 3. Do you want to get “picked?”, 4. Is this the kind of men you want around you? Pretty much any woman (she do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:46 PM
15

And there’s silly me thinking that once a famous guy gets an official girlfriend, there are many broken hearts in the world, but they all stop pining over him! There was another forum I was on that very quickly turned out to be a pickme forum most of the time. On it there was a girl musician from the Middle East, who was obsessed with an American musician that she met once in passing. Her obsession was really of a clinical level - she thought she was on a verge of starting a relationship with hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:52 PM
53

You know, it was the best sex he’s ever had and now he’s wondering just where those limits of goodness lie. If he got you, who’s to say he can’t get Beyoncé? 🤡🤡🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:38 PM
11

Haha, smart woman! I read an article by a therapist where he was saying that when he encounters a client who is a potential whiner, he asks: “so what are you doing about it?” I think that’s a brilliant question and would hopefully send a message to address the issue or to shut up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 10:25 PM
2

🤣🤣🤣 Not in an intimate moment, I hope?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 11:55 AM
7

Yeah, that really affected me for a long time. If anything, scrotes would always compliment me on my looks. That was a first. BTW, mine was also very good at going down and it was obvious he hoped I wasn’t going to want actual sex afterwards. But he was also a sEnSiTiVe type, so maybe he loved that type of porn where men satisfy women, doing it sort of vicariously through them. His mother was a cool lady, I liked her, but I think she was maybe a bit too controlling when he was growing up (possib…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 09:01 AM
17

Looks absolutely amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:34 AM
162

This should be an occasional pop up for all men when they open their dating apps.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:17 AM
2

Nah, the opposite side of the world, but the said friend turns out to be a massive follower of US-based conspiracy theory nutcases.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 07:12 AM
7

You’d be very unlikely to hear that kind of tosh from women. It’s fine to hold an opinion of any kind, but the arrogance to tell someone who specialises in that area to “educate themselves of YouTube” is probably exclusively a male thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:16 AM
1

Oh, I love her! I like that she’s a real tough cookie, she talks a lot about relationships that I think are in line with FDS, all the while looking stunning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:12 AM
20

I know for a fact that he never saw a doctor for ANYTHING, including his knee/hip pain that he was continuously complaining about, as well as his depression. In both cases he was adamant that he was sure he was so special and unique that he “couldn’t be helped” 😆😆😆 And he didn’t make it a secret he loved porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 03:10 AM
33

On reflection, being young was terrifying. Anyone and everyone (i.e., men) would use and abuse you in any way possible: unpaid wages in shit cash-in-hand retail shops, wages being held hostage for two weeks after leaving a waitressing job, bosses screaming, attempting to groom you or threaten you to have sex with them, landlord/boss threatening to make you homeless due to him having a bad day, plus all other sexual predators. I’m very happy being my age (40+). No one messes with me right now (al…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:07 PM
60

My last dude whom I saw for 8 months, never got it fully up and never finished. During the breakup, which was all very civil and friendly, he had to throw in a snide remark how it was never going to work, because he never felt attracted to me, but tried to make a decision based on logic, not feelings (dick). This was BS by the way, since he couldn’t keep his hands off me until it got to sex, and he had a semi-stiffy only.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:58 PM
23

Women are crazy? Who are the perpetrators of all violent crimes and murders? Let’s look at the prison statistics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:46 PM
28

Going for regular deep tissue, Ka Huna or aromatherapy massages resolves that for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:38 PM
36

I had a manual labourer fRiEnD getting into a long mansplaining marathon about the area of my expertise that I have two degrees in. He even said, quite earnestly, that “I should educate myself”, at which point I laughed and I said: “remember, I get paid to talk about that and spent 5 years in universities studying it”. He was unphased, and said that universities are really limited in providing “true” information and that I should educate myself on YouTube 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:27 PM
13

One name: Ally Wong!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 09:18 PM
1

But is it a date or just you two going through a drive-through?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 04:38 AM
2

I know 🤬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 09:57 PM
2

I liked some of Tech9nine, but in his song PTSD (I think), he says “they say I’m a narcissist”, and there are some interviews where he simultaneously brags about cheating on his wife (who dumped his ass), blames the woman he was cheating with for revealing their secret and, like a true asshole, pretends to be sorry for her for falling in love with him, because his dick was so amazing 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 08:18 PM
56

Proud of beating their meat in a sweaty hand next to a box of tissues. Things have really changed since I was in my teens and twenties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:19 PM
4

Sounds like the drivel from https://www.thefemininewoman.com 🤣 That’s a website where a woman feels qualified to tell other women how to bag men (and pretty much any men are seen as good enough) because she herself got her a husband, whom she’s also trying to sell as a dating coach in her dream of a power relationship coach couple, but who looks like an emotionally stunted run of the mill dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:58 PM
9

Yeah, he’s also trash, sadly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:49 PM
6

That’s wonderful, that’s how it always should be between women. I had various experiences with being the one reaching out and the one responding. My worst ex, who was a rapist got himself a new gf after I finally ditched him after 5 years of torture. His new GF sussed him out pretty quick, reached out to me and after I’d been honest with her, she said she wasn’t surprised being attracted to him, as she had some childhood abuse history and had been in therapy for ten years by then. But she decide…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:37 PM
30

Ancient Greek history - it’s all there!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:20 AM
1

Really? As in you never ever consume alcohol on dates? I don’t think that’s quite right. Probably not going for drink-only first dates, but not insisting the guy doesn’t touch drink (while you make your own wise choices too).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:18 AM
2

Bloody hell. A severe case of aggressive and chronic pickmeitis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 01:15 AM
1

OMG, sounds like a pile of bullshit and your friend chooses to believe it. He’s not separated from his wife or ever will be, he’s part of the industry that exploits women and contributes to their abuse, subsequent mental health problems, suicide, their family relationship breakdowns etc., and she thinks she’s bagged herself a treasure? I bet he will soon be asking her if she’s ever thought of being in a porn movie, and how it’s such a good way to earn money for a young woman, and how it’s totall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:56 PM
1

Hm, the vast majority of people who drink (that includes me too) aren’t alcoholics, just like the vast majority of people who eat aren’t binge eaters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:51 PM
2

Yes, firemen should have been up there, it’s a No.1 fuckboi profession. Over the weekend I went to a plush restaurant with a couple of friends and there was a couple behind us, a handsome older man whose appearance screamed that he was old money and an Asian woman with him that was so obviously from a different background, but they seemed like that had been in a long-term relationship. The guy was actively checking out my low-ish cut top, whereas my gay friend thought the dude was super attracti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:48 PM
1

Drugs?! 😲 All my food has been prepared by someone who’s high?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:40 PM
1

Geez. STDs galore, a very short-lived career, probably drugs involved on sets too. With this one you can’t trick yourself in pretending that he may not cheat, because he tells you that he’s got a licence to cheat when he tells you about his job. Everytime he takes you out to a restaurant, you will know that the food you’re eating is earned by his dick poking another vagina. And then the shame or secrecy and shame you’ll have to deal with at the parties and with family when people ask: “so what d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:34 PM
56

The scrotes watching it will run away whimpering in real life as soon as you say “boo”!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:13 AM
8

How is that a job even?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:11 AM
10

Oh, sure none of this is set in stone and there will always be exceptions, but more as a general rule - if you’re erring on the side of caution with a guy, this can help you make up your mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:53 AM
29

IT or anything to do with computers - total absence of social skills, spoilt and rude like a child, doesn’t know how to conduct himself around people and isn’t interested in learning. Sees all people as c*nts. Pilot, sailor, soldier - a good old fashioned fuckboi with a woman waiting for him at every port. Teacher - no testosterone whatsoever, possibly petty and never stops “teaching”, regardless of whom he is talking to and his level of knowledge about the subject . University lecturer - a cros…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 08:15 AM
13

All right, Destiny, as long as you say stupid things in an authoritative manner...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 07:46 AM
19

When they hurt you, they know it. When they ring you up late in the evening with a booty call (even if yo decline), they know exactly how it would wreak havoc with your mental health. When they triangulate you with a past phantom ex, their dead wife, an ideal future girlfriend or some of their orbiting women, they know what they’re doing. Unless he has been raised by bears, he knows it and he doesn’t care as long as he gets his ego boost or his dick wet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 04:44 AM
3

That’s a good imagery. Imagine you’re a lamb being considered for the next round of slaughter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 04:40 AM
3

All of this sounds terrible, but the fast food parking lot takes the cake 😆💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:27 PM
1

Exactly the same, just further down the scale of these abusive tactics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:24 PM
31

It’s best if he doesn’t!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 09:22 PM
3

There is a reason they talk about help and not collaboration. It is women who do most of the work around the house, taking care of the scrote husband and the kids, while also working full time hours, sometimes longer than the husband. And if he feels like it, he might “help” her occasionally. The help she would have no need for if she wasn’t in that predicament in the first place. And there is absolutely no guarantee that the typical man(child) will show you love. The best you can hope for is th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:01 PM
2

I thought you’ve made a post elsewhere about an ex you broke up about two months ago, and referred to “him” rather than “her”?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:49 AM
5

Her female worms. Her female molluscs and other invertebrates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:40 AM
6

Did anyone also pick up on the old goat’s vile character and being a sex pest?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 11:29 AM
41

I wish I was gay 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:28 AM
64

“A very real possibility that he doesn’t wash his ass” 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:28 AM
35

Other strategies that may have worked for him: locking up a woman in the basement for years and abusing her with intermittent displays of affection. When the police turns up, SOME women have defended him and refused to leave the basement, saying sunlight was hurting their eyes and there was too much freedom and decision making outside the basement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:12 AM
13

And just think of where you’ll be in six years from now! Congrats and keep going in that direction!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:44 AM
18

This is your gut instinct giving you a big nudge, don’t shake it off! Shake these self- absorbed losers off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:42 AM
65

I’m hoping that these are just very young people doing it. Can’t imagine anyone over 20 taking a woman on this kind of date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 12:02 AM
7

That’s what they should be thinking! And not “if you look like your profile pictures”, “if you don’t talk too much” or some shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:45 AM
3

Yawn...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:30 PM
54

I’ve seen men answer this question with: “no ifs. It is on me”, or “if you show up”. Which I think are exactly what you want to see. And no need to worry about further rounds, since you’re not getting hammered with a stranger on a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 01:06 PM
21

They’re also fully aware that they’re wasting your window of fertility and they DON’T CARE. This alone is a red flag of a callous person you don’t want to spend your future with. They have no qualms living with the idea that you won’t be able to have the family you longed for when/if a better/newer model turns up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:38 AM
9

Haha, me too - they’re hilarious!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:34 AM
4

You’re one tough cookie for pulling yourself out of this situation (almost), but you’re not out of the woods yet. There are a few things I’d say to you: 1. Continue being so passionate and driven about your independence and being a moral person, 2. With your future kids, I think it’s important to share information that is appropriate to their age and relevant to their needs. You have to be careful that what/how you share isn’t about meeting YOUR needs, which are absolutely valid, but must be met…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:27 AM
16

You’re not a liar, you’re keeping appropriate boundaries and your past experiences (sexual or otherwise) are your and your business alone. If someone at a party is so rude as to ask you what serious health issues you’ve had in the past, you will probably decline to get drawn into that conversation by saying something like: “oh, I’m fine, must be just my luck!”. This is the same. A scrote is not entitled to your private life and history.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:35 PM
20

Community property. There’s a song about it 😆 https://youtu.be/bzUPG8olnO0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 11:11 PM
36

They absolutely do and they don’t care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:54 AM
79

I’m in a part of the world that has seen a minimal impact by COVID - everything is open, life as usual, just no night clubs (I think, I’m waaay past the clubbing stage), very few masks in sight etc. Also, our seasons are the opposite of yours ☺️ But I also feel like my interest in men has declined significantly, and I attribute that to personal growth, becoming more selective and, of course, discovering FDS. One of my favourite writers and psychologists Irvin Yalom talked about gonadal tranquili…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 12:08 AM
3

From American Psychiatric Association, listing broadly the inherent risks that affect the person’s life: “Schizophrenia is characterized by delusions, hallucinations, disorganized speech and behavior, and other symptoms that cause social or occupational dysfunction. For a diagnosis, symptoms must have been present for six months and include at least one month of active symptoms.” Negative symptoms aren’t clearly identified here, but they are, in essence, loss of previously acquired and basic ski…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:22 PM
5

A thing to bear in mind about therapy that things will always get worse before (if) they get better. And for men, especially abusive men, this often means that you’ll get to see the worst of them in that period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:11 PM
14

Imagine that this poor girl is yet to go through the crap you went through. He has not had a personality transplant, I can assure you, and will act in any close and intimate relationships as he always does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:05 PM
181

Not even her looks. Just the hair. BUT, my African colleague once told me that when the woman cuts her hair short, that’s the sign that she’s most likely “cut a man out of her hair” 😉 So maybe there’s hope and she’s subconsciously making that decision already.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:27 PM
10

I know very well what I’m talking about and I’m fully aware that schizophrenia isn’t the only treatment resistant MH disorder. Schizophrenia, however, is terrifying for those suffering and those supporting the person, and there are inherent risks that come with it, particularly with the paranoid kind, thought insertion or delusions of command.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 12:21 PM
2

TBH, all the LTRs I had, even though they were all LVMs or NVMs, none had an issue of us both getting tested. Quite possibly because they were all somewhat hypochondriac 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 05:25 AM
13

I agree, what he afforded for his wife was a cutting edge treatment at the time for a disease that we still know very little about today, and some of its forms are known as “treatment resistant”. Keeping a person at home that is a huge risk to themselves and others is not the best course of action, however much you want them to be near you and however much they want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 05:21 AM
6

They look like garbage bags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 11:52 AM
1

If YOU want the dude to meet your parents and if your parents are happy with it, bring him round. And that’s not something that happens early in a relationship. I’d wait a year now to be sure that this guy isn’t going to waste my and my parents’ time. Your parents will show him their usual hospitality and the guy will be grateful to be accepted into the family home and will treat it with respect. Anything other than that, any inappropriate or snide comments after that and you kick him out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 09:23 PM
20

Sounds like his parents worshipped him while growing up and he never learned to tolerate any kind of situations where his not needs were not paramount.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 11:29 AM
4

“My standards”, or “your dick, apparently”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:25 AM
4

Being of European origin, I consider discussing financial status (especially that of my family or other people, not present in the discussion) beyond rude. I don’t know how much my friends earn with the exception of two closest ones, because their goals and some difficulties with pay rise and promotion came up recently and they wanted specific advice. If someone was so classless as to ask me about my financial status or what type of family I come from, I think I would be outraged and give them m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:15 AM
14

The loneliest I felt was in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:14 AM
17

What kind of shit is that? Just because you’re a student and can’t yet afford to buy several books in one go, it’s not a HV or even a grand gesture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:12 AM
23

That last sentence changed the whole positive chunk about the new (at the time) lady - it was a serious dig.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:02 AM
58

They understand you and they don’t like you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:38 AM
6

What career??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 11:32 AM
34

Your poor little puppy 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:09 PM
9

He knew the effort and love you’ve put in your little tree and it was purposeful and malicious what he did. I have a large succulent collection that I love - I often sit and look at them and know of any small changes that happen. I propagate them and gift them to the people I love and am known in my friend circles as a plant aunt. If anyone purposely did anything to them, I’d rip their head off, especially if they were laughing. What he did was the first attempt at abuse - harming a living thing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 10:03 PM
11

Must have been that weird fetish where men get off on watching women eat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 01:31 PM
8

My parents instilled the same standards in me, but because of various trauma travelling through generations, I rebelled a lot and also had low self value, often taking up these charity cases, while doing pretty well in life myself. Only in the past couple of years I started setting these standards for myself, and I don’t mind being alone if I can’t find someone to match me with their drive and achievements. It can be hard sometimes, since I have a few friends who are happy with beyond basic jobs…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 10:36 PM
7

I’d say that women need to be careful of guys who almost exclusively date either outside their own race (looking for a trophy/status symbol/“exotic”) or are obsessed with one particular race/ethnicity (fetishising, replacing an older model for a newer).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/10/20 10:29 PM
5

Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:10 PM
3

Good to know! Don’t think that happened to me... Or not yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 09:08 PM
12

The first time I was going to see my would be abuser of five years, I mixed up my outbound and inbound flights and missed the plane. I remember thinking that this was an omen, but ignored it 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 05:18 AM
29

I used to have this housemate/fRiEnD when I was a lot younger, who was a white leftie French scrote. All of his friends and girlfriends were either Arabic or black, and he fancied himself as the honorary Arab/black, but in reality he fetishised the women he saw as being from “inferior” cultures to his, and relished in the role of a white saviour. I remember him telling me about a girl he knew who was supposedly so “liberated” while wearing a burka, that she’d tell her father she was taking rubbi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:45 AM
26

Extreme leftist scrotes and extreme right scrotes are exactly the same - their political views are mostly around how much they can get away with without contributing to the society, and how much they control women, it’s just that one group likes to do to covertly, while the other one - overtly. Women’s humanity, I find, isn’t really affected by their political views.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:37 AM
14

I’ve just tried to imagine lambskin, and for whatever reason, a sheepskin condom appeared 🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:26 AM
17

Curly brown is THE best hair! (I don’t have it 😞).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:17 AM
8

Translation: “if you leave me, it will be on your conscience for the rest of my life when I k*ll myself”. And they can even say that when they leave you, but want you to continue being their “friend”, A.K.A. placeholder while he’s test driving other women and waiting for his dream girl (who doesn’t exist) to come along. My last scrote told me I was his “antidepressant” and the reason he managed to live through the last year, while in the same breath telling me that I apparently had been demoted …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 04:06 AM
16

For that reason I only have my first name and the first letter of my surname on LinkedIn, and only work email registered on it. No phone numbers or any links to social media accounts. So anyone who looks me up has to either know me through work (which can be a bother too, I recognise) or they get to my profile through legitimate candidate search. When I look people up via LinkedIn, I always make sure I’m logged out first, so I come up as an anonymous viewer to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:23 PM
102

Have you been with him for a good few months? If so, sounds like you’ve bagged yourself a real HVM 🥰 and I’m happy for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 11:19 PM
16

Can confirm. Always, ALWAYS swipe left on “open minded”, whether it’s referring to him or to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 01:02 PM
41

Men have shit skin.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 08:25 AM
1

I almost did and this relationship has seriously traumatised me for many years later. This was by far not the worst thing he did. Even five years after I left him, I’d wake up in a cold sweat from a nightmare thinking he was asleep next to me and that I didn’t get rid of him, or that he was raping me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/10/20 01:55 AM
9

If you pick a regular LVM (which is most men), you will still die alone, but a lot quicker because of some stress-induced cancer, and a lot poorer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:27 PM
11

I can easily imagine one of my very old exes saying that. And we were definitely dating, for 4-5 years, met each other’s families and friends, lived together, but periodically he’d decide we were done so that he could control me (at that low point in my life I’d accept any abuse just to keep him) and cheat on me for a few days/weeks, all the while still living at my place rent free. There was my friend’s party, after which my friends did an intervention, because he had decided to approach everyo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 01:23 PM
8

My meek, quiet, nerdy, sulky ex, self-proclaimed defender of women and all sorts of minorities, who always acted like he was just tolerating me and eventually said he was going to up and go to another city for no reason (and I was relieved it wasn’t me who had to break up with him), did his best to make me homeless after he broke into my social media and found out from a private chat with a friend that I had moved on quickly after our breakup. He was the last person I expected that from. He was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:57 PM
2

It is my profile, and what I meant was that I want to relax, put my feet up in the evenings! But now I worry that even saying that will be interpreted as “spread my legs”. Jesus. I don’t know what to do anymore. Edit: I’ve changed the emojis to two glasses of champagne and a sushi box!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:20 PM
2

Thank you! Go for it all - find some people to take you along to either outdoor climbing or canyons and you’ll have a blast. I don’t like tight spaces either or jumping into pools of water. You can always read up about each canyon before you go, there are plenty open ones. You’re not the only one with the fear of tight spaces. Also, there are always plenty of groups happy to take newbies under their wing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 12:12 PM
13

He wants to talk about his innards, most likely. I can’t envisage there being more to this mediocre scrote’s inner life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:36 AM
2

I love it, have been doing it for about four years. I love the heights - the higher, the better, but the grades have to be low, or I’m happy seconding a multipitch with higher grades. I think outdoors are easier since there are so many more holds than on an indoor wall. I also do canyoning, but there I definitely need to go with people who know how to navigate the canyon system.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 05:18 AM
4

They do get to bang. Maybe they’re not supposed to, but the guards sometimes leave the happy couple in the visitation room. I used to know a young woman with her brother, who were both a product of such relationship. The parents relationship started and ended in jail, and it lasted about 8-10 years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:17 PM
37

Because it’s safe to have a locked up guy. You always know exactly where he is, you are (or you think you are) his main focus and the saviour and relish in the role of mother Theresa able to convert a guy, and you’re special too, because you’re the only one who could understand this “misunderstood” soul, AND you’re dating a celebrity. The longer the sentence in jail, the more popular that guy. The ones with the life sentence are the most popular. Even Julian Assange, who was apparently avoiding …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 11:12 PM
2

These are rock climbing terms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:36 PM
2

Haha, I lead and it’s outdoors, but fairly low grades, because I’m a chicken and hate falling!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 10:35 PM
19

You’re right - must observe their actions and consistency over a lengthy period of time, that’s the only evidence of their integrity. And I’m yet to encounter someone like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:22 PM
8

I actually sometimes like this activity, but has to be with someone I love and am very comfortable with, and I also have to be in the right kind of mood. So not very often 😁
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:19 PM
59

Well, that statement has helped me weed out a good chunk of potential “househusbands” and those that want a stay at home wife or a free nanny. I am sure the 90% of those who contact me are still trash, so I still vet, but it’s less work for me that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:17 PM
34

😆😆😆 Tried and tested and absolutely true!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:11 PM
26

Who the fuck is going to let him near that child?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:04 PM
30

Yep, I’m not sold on this view that man has to text you a lot throughout the day. I’ve got shit to do and much prefer a conversation in the evening, in addition to one or two cute/funny texts. Usually when men flood you with texts it’s about their non-issues and expecting you to be their cheerleader and a free emotional labour workhorse. I have no time for that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:02 PM
16

Might be cause life got a bit shitty for HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 07:07 AM
3

... and just bring pig-headed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:58 AM
7

SEVEN points even! 😆😆😆 There are plenty of autistic people with sky-high IQs, so what? It only measures academic capacity and achievement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 06:57 AM
43

I bet all of his exes heard this song too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:13 AM
23

That’s cause you’re a lady. If you were a man, your reasons for this would probably be different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:08 AM
13

Probably companionship?..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 04:06 AM
9

Cause why not?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:29 AM
18

Your brother probably like the little mermaid for the same reasons you liked Tarzan 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 10:05 AM
6

That’s a good point - I never thought it was a power play, more like them being gutless, but I think you’re right and it is the complete opposite of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:35 PM
3

Nothing’s going on between them, he’s banging her with no effort involved in anything else whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:39 PM
23

Sounds like he was a homophobic piece of sh*it and wanted “gay” to be an insult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:37 PM
9

I’d have responded: “ don’t be a peasant”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:11 PM
38

I bloody hope so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:08 PM
180

Yep, when I think of it, I was the one in all of my relationships saying the dreaded words, but I never felt like they gave me any sense of power that you’d imagine the leaving partner has. They’d make my life unbearable with cheating, abuse, outright lies and lies by omission, and when I’d end it after some years of being traumatised and retraumatised, they’d squeeze out a tear, look like poets in a dramatic movie and “agree” to it “if that’s what’s best for me”. Disgusting, disgusting turds. N…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:07 PM
84

And even then they end them, because they never go deeper than the most superficial level, so it’s a lot easier for them to detach and go off in search for the forty virgins that have been promised to them by birthright.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 01:02 PM
9

Well done to you for pulling yourself out by the bootstraps. You’re one tough cookie. Having said that, trauma has ugly ways of rearing its head when you least expect it, and you asking the questions that you ask, tells me that you’re well on your way, but not quite out of the woods yet. Your life sounds fantastic now, which could also make you a target if you’re not fully healed. I’d say, be kind to yourself and see if you can get some counselling either through a trafficking victims charity or…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:58 PM
8

That was malicious gossip from an opposing party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:52 PM
5

What a trash. Good riddance to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:45 PM
5

Some lie by omission, don’t forget that too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:43 PM
7

Maybe even married to several women in different states/countries, that he never bothered to divorce, cause they’re “from the past” 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 12:25 PM
8

The right thing to do is to screenshot the conversations and forward them to his wife and his mother, regardless of their reactions. You don’t have to get involved, send from an anonymous email/fake FB account, so at least you know you’ve shown solidarity to another woman. What she does with it is her business.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:45 AM
8

They always are. They will make you pay for their shit luck with women throughout their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:42 AM
11

Probably an abuser. This is one of their tactics - keeping a woman pregnant for years against her will and dependent on him, physically, emotionally and financially vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:41 AM
5

Defo 16.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:33 PM
33

It still wouldn’t be worth spending your life in prison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:28 PM
74

Where was the mention of race?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 12:25 PM
26

KICKHIMOUT2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:53 AM
35

They’ve got no gold to dig.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:44 AM
16

🤣🤣🤣 anything with a man is considered a date!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:43 AM
4

Looking romantically together at the skid marks on the dude’s underpants as he’s sorting the whites and the blacks....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:42 AM
43

Maybe he decided he didn’t want to meet her after all, but couldn’t get himself out of this “date”, when she rocked up at the only laundromat in town, all wide-eyed and bushy-tailed. He may be getting a restraining order as we speak.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:38 AM
51

Down to earth and love to laugh. Like going out, but also staying in. Looking for a partner in crime. Have twenty kids with seven different women, who are my world.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 07:32 AM
3

I’m from the older crowd, and my ex and the previous housemate are in their mid-forties now 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/20 11:57 AM
13

Believe it or not, my abusive ex from when I was in my mid-twenties got really angry when I dared to try and use an epilator machine on my three transparent hairs I had on my shins in his presence, in my bedroom that was in the flat I was paying mortgage for and he was staying for free. He said I ruined his fantasy that he wanted to keep, that women are just nAtUrAlLy hairless and beautiful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:39 PM
22

I posted about this elsewhere on this sub, but I find French men completely revolting. You may have chosen well, but my experiences gave been terrible - from an abusive, rapist ex, whom I was with for five years, to previous French male housemates and their friends. They seem to be ultra sexist, all the while pretending to be supportive of women’s and minorities’ rights, but really just fetishise all women they see as “exotic” (from Eastern European to African) and fancy themselves as white savi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 07:37 AM
34

French men are disgusting and probably the slimiest with a huge side of arrogance and entitlement. My French ex that I dumped ten years ago traumatised me till today. I also had French male housemates and hung out with their friends - all as disgusting and patronising towards women and anyone from other nationalities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 11:39 AM
2

🤣🤣🤣 There’s even a sub for this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 08:17 AM
34

No wonder, Russians are known for DV.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:21 PM
17

Get on Meetup app and make some local academia friends, and you’ll soon forget the Berlin connection to this scrote. Don’t stay at his apartment unless you want to see this other woman’s things there and herself in person. I bet he’s triangulating you both too - you for the fun of it, and her - so that she jumps higher. He’s no rock, more like a soft, slushy turd pile.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:19 PM
3

Carbage! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:13 PM
2

Don’t be casting pearl at swine.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:06 PM
5

... and that idea is usually way out of their league. You can even be a wife or a 20+ year “partner”, with kids and all, and the scrote will still be one foot in, one foot out, cause you’re not what this gorilla has been raised to believe he deserves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:04 PM
29

It’s a pretty standard thing - people who’ve had every bit of power removed during the horrific physical and emotional boundary invasion that is rape, unfortunately often develop rape/BDSM fantasies as brain’s maladaptive attempt to resolve this trauma. The brain tricks the sufferer into thinking that they can “fix” the trauma by reliving it, but now they’re “in control”. What of course happens is that they further deepen their neural pathways of trauma. Research with sex workers will tell you t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:50 PM
0

But it will be entirely up to you and your partner, what kind of child you raise. I’m not saying it’s easy to raise a decent human being, but it is entirely up to the parents how they meet the child’s needs, lead by example and teach him the necessary skills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 07:22 AM
2

I thought this was a reference to normal Northern European midsummer festivities (I’m originally from there).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 12:25 PM
6

Haha, it’s great, isn’t it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 09:55 AM
13

And the time and money it’ll save us on clothes and makeup for what would most likely turn out to be a disappointment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:38 AM
76

I only ever try to get out of seeing someone/attending events with people I don’t really like. I might have made an agreement, because I was interested in the activity rather than the person, and I generally stick to my word, but if I do try to get out on a rare occasion, it’s because I don’t think too highly of the person and don’t care what they think of me. So if the dude has done this to you, you can be sure that you haven’t lost anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:36 AM
46

They all seem to be crazy about walking in fields, parks and random streets. Let them all do it with each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:30 AM
55

You can always be an iron fist in a velvet glove 😊 If being open and friendly is a big part of your identity and culture, you don’t need to become someone else. All you need to do is identify and use your boundaries. For example, if someone tries to push some very personal stories on you on the first date, you can smile sweetly, show a stop sign with your hand and say: “there are many personal stories and bodily functions that are best not flaunted, as your doctor and your lawyer will tell you. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:22 AM
36

Unfortunately, up until recently I have been the therapist and the manic pixie dream girl. I have a few hobbies that are relatively marginal (extreme sports stuff), I’m entirely self-sufficient with a few degrees that impress the scrotes’ friends and parents, and therefore I’m an easy target. I have been single for about 8-9 months now and intend to stay that way, unless someone can add value to my life. My work is fast-paced and I’ve got things to keep me busy outside work, and I no longer have…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 04:14 AM
3

You are lovely and I’ll hold you and your daughter in my thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:02 PM
5

And I always thought it was me, who was somehow faulty, because I followed all that eMpOwErInG bullshit, and it only attracted abuse and more abuse in subtle and not at all subtle forms.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 11:50 AM
64

The dog looks concerned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 12:31 PM
5

OMG, love the hat and the shorts 😆😆😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:16 AM
58

I’d be careful with a guy, who calls himself a feminist, especially upfront. It’s usually virtue signalling, and most men who say they’re feminist, will also have “ethically non-monogamous”, “polyamorous” bullshit to go with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:04 PM
3

What was it??? I want to know now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:57 AM
5

🤣🤣🤣💀💀💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:57 AM
9

I believe sexual assault of women statistics, when carried out properly (i.e., the questions describe specific actions rather than: “have you ever been sexually assaulted?”) are horrendous - something like 70% of women in the western world have been assaulted, and most of them experienced their first assault before aged 15. I’m not even taking about places like Papua and New Guinea, where in some regions 100% of women have been raped. So, bitch, please. If some girl dumped you, eat some concrete…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:20 AM
6

It’s cluster B. Cluster A isn’t as bad, they’re usually genuine loners with minimal social skills who genuinely don’t like being around people and don’t look for relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:10 AM
7

I’m pretty sure they’re set firmly in those beliefs, hence the entitled behaviour. Anyone and everyone (and that includes you, trying to heal him with your unconditional love), will be seen as part of the malevolent world that has wronged him/neglected him, and he will try to take back what he sees as a just pay for his mistreatment. These are the beliefs that have been set at a very young age, and usually for a good reason (abusive/neglectful patents etc), but that child is now long gone, and y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 04:02 AM
2

I would bring up with him what you’ve mentioned in your post and how important it is for you to focus on your present now. He may not realise it and would probably appreciate your help with direction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:22 AM
1

I haven’t noticed that, but you might be right - I’ll keep an eye out for this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:19 AM
8

To be fair, he did have the looks, it’s the workers that liked to infantilise themselves and he went along with that for some stupid reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:50 PM
4

I wouldn’t read too much into this on its own. It was stupid of him and impolite to leave you on your own at the restaurant, but sounds like you then had much bigger things to worry about. Maybe the moral of this story is to listen to your gut instinct, when something is off? Maybe there were other things you picked up on during that date, but the package thing was the most obvious one, and that’s why it was easier to pin the sum of your experiences on it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:08 PM
11

Any bitterness about others “doing better” - if he brings up “bastard” classmates or similar who had it made with their parent connections, while he had to toil away to get to where he is. If he bitches about people with university education (or any education higher than his), about people who (in his eyes) have more than him, about people who dare to buy investment properties/holiday homes, because they should already be sharing them with those who haven’t earned them, and so on and so forth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 10:00 PM
10

I think it’s the relationship between the psychologist and the client rather than the specific technique that is the biggest agent of change. You need to feel accepted unconditionally in your therapy and and also challenged mentally, where you’d be having lightbulb moments during and between sessions. For that you also need long term therapy, not like a 10 week stint.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:50 PM
6

In that case, I’d like them to call me by my full name and credentials: Homo sapiens, female, Bachelor of Science, Master of Science Terriblina Finkelstein. EVERY👏🏻TIME 👏🏻they👏🏻speak👏🏻to👏🏻me, since it’s also what I am.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:43 PM
13

Yep, like a female worm, or a female mollusc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:37 PM
11

My most recent ex(late 30s), who was a placid, no testosterone LVM, used to work in the office for a small furniture making business and would always refer to the labourers in the factory as “the boys”. Never mind that all of them were in their 40s and 50s, beer guts, ugly beards etc. Apparently, that’s how they used to refer to themselves. I found it such a peasant way to talk (amongst other things).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:35 PM
10

I hear this “broken up, separate bedrooms, she has someone else” story from various friends so often. Yet, if this is the case, why won’t the men answer their phones in the evening or bring their new GF round if their household is so relaxed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:27 PM
4

Exactly. Our manners and values shouldn’t be dependent on some pig’s actions, especially when they’re likely to see that they managed to get to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:10 PM
2

Send this screenshot to his poor gf. By now you will probably have enough info to find her. And I bet she doesn’t even know she’s in an open relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:05 PM
5

Awww 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 12:58 PM
23

This made me so happy 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:19 AM
10

LOVE THIS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 09:07 AM
8

Same. I hope that she overdosed on drugs she took at parties and that her scrawny, maggot-like body is burning in hell. Women do that too unfortunately 😞 Often to please predatory men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:28 AM
7

Of course they would if there were no consequences, as it is with a phone. It’s a redundant question.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:22 AM
8

That’ll be a Nigerian prince again, no actual women behind these pics.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:18 AM
4

Exactly, they’re like domestic doggos with their puppies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 04:14 AM
10

I would agree with Dr Stout - it’s a disorder that the afflicted never seeks help for anyway and the ones who get some sort of treatment are usually through the court system (i.e., the ones who get caught), so it’s difficult to estimate. Also, some areas of work are more likely to have clusters of them, and just from my humble observations, financial sector with big money is one of them. Besides, the Western culture for the past 20 years or so has seen the rise of the cult of the individual and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 11:35 PM
8

There’s a lovely and well informed article about wolves and what it really means to be an alpha wolf. I highly recommend reading it. This is a level up blog for men that I’ve been following for years and I’m yet to meet a guy who’s also a fan. https://www.artofmanliness.com/articles/how-to-really-be-alpha-like-the-wolf/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:21 PM
17

Pretty much every thing you’ve described fits neatly under Antisocial Personality Disorder. I’d never met anyone, who would admit to having it though, and these are the most dangerous a and terrifying people. A.K.A., the sociopaths - while narcissists and BPDs see you as being there to meet their emotional needs, sociopaths see the existence of others as being there solely for their amusement and practical benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:14 PM
3

I doubt it. All toddlers look the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:10 AM
5

Gross outright manipulation through pathetic attempts to appeal to our ovaries. Even more gross when their profile clearly states that they’re only interested in sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 10:04 AM
2

Sounds like a lying trash, who can’t help destroying himself and those who love him. Good riddance of bad rubbish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:09 AM
7

Maybe a doe hunter?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:44 PM
6

Yep, and I’ve recently learned of virtue signalling - it was an eye opener. It’s basically about continuously advertising oneself as some sort of activist, philanthropist, the saviour of the downtrodden, a woke spiritual/yoga god, which is all about self-aggrandisement only and about “holier than thou”. It’s easy to fall into their trap.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:33 AM
1

My pleasure ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:30 AM
36

Sounds like a real predator one step away from actually forcefully raping that girl. Can we invite her here?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:13 AM
3

Every time. I didn’t particularly need the guy to have exactly the same level of education as me, but it was obviously very emasculating to them, despite whatever they said at first. So now I’ve made a firm decision not to date anyone unless they have a uni degree (doesn’t need to be my level) OR have their own successful business. And that’s just to protect me from later abuse stemming from their inferiority complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:38 PM
2

I thought you said “I’m a creep” 🤣🤣🤣 That would be a red flag for sure!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:26 PM
5

When scrotes are intimidated by your education/degree and suddenly feel like they are qualified to lecture you on your subject of expertise. For example, a guy with a simple, manual job kept trying to tell me to “not be afraid to educate myself”, referring to YouTube videos, when he knew I had two degrees in that field, telling me that university education is very limited.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:25 PM
5

Exactly. I don’t know any, ANY women who’d stop having sex with their partner who treats them with kindness, puts as much (or even half) the effort to look attractive as their gf/wife does, unless they’re physically unwell, which makes up a tiny minority of times. If the guy is in a dead bedroom, it’s because the woman is afraid, revolted by him or feels like she’s been put in a position where she ended up adopting an adult man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:16 PM
4

Did we date the same guy? I later discovered why that might have been the case - when we moved in, he stopped showering and washing hair, was drunk every night, wore greasy clothes with holes and his hands smelled of sweaty balls due to excessive porn watching. And yes, you guessed it, he could not go on past 2 minutes, plus he did exactly the same sequence of things in those two minutes and got pissed off, when I asked him to mix it up a bit saying: “ what’s wrong, you liked it the first time!”…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:06 PM
1

WATCH ME🤣🤣🤣 You savage woman, I’m stealing this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:59 PM
9

Any old bullshit about being a “lone wolf” and/or the world having wronged him leading to become a lone wolf. Anything that signifies holding grudges and being vengeful, like he “never forgets”, “knows how to wait” etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:21 PM
10

They’re always the ones creating it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 01:12 PM
4

Yes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:44 AM
7

I’m the same, but I’ve come to understand that you can always go on long, strenuous and exhausting hikes ( including multi day) once you’ve had many opportunities to check the guy out and make sure he’s safe. Actually, having a partner who’d love nature stuff as much as I do is my dream, but it’s been tricky, since they all lie and pretend they love it, and 15km in they’re crying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:06 PM
12

WTF. Who asks to go swimming on a date?! What’s next - turnip harvesting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 12:01 PM
8

Why the fuck should YOU be hauling your ass to therapy?! 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:42 AM
4

That depends on the country.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:33 AM
-3

But that’s cause the British are always scared of offending someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 11:28 AM
23

This suddenly makes a lot of sense! I’ve never been in/around that world (aside from my weekly yoga sessions, which are almost always just women), but I once had a misfortune dating a scrote who in his spare time was an acrobat, into acro yoga and all extreme sports where he could use these skills. He turned out to be the worst psychopath and through him I found out that almost all people into these hobbies were also polyamorists (he’d proudly say: “oh, I dated this dude’s wife”) and every weeke…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 11:40 PM
3

Sad and sick at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:24 PM
20

It’s reliving the trauma, but imagining that “this time I’m in control”. The same reason why so many women with early sexual abuse history end up working as prostitutes or doing porn, but all they end up doing is further traumatising themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:20 AM
60

People from abusive cults repair their lives and so will you. I don’t know if any post-poly support exists, but I’d look at least at domestic abuse victim support, because I’m pretty sure you’d qualify.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:18 AM
9

I knew a poly scrote who told me of this exact type of situation he had. There was lots of drama, which he clearly loved and after the wedge became the only GF, she then quickly became “the primary”, meaning that he found the third person again, which she didn’t like. In addition, her pickmeitis was so acute, that when they first met, she said that she was only dating couples. To me that sounds like some kind of sick incestuous relationship with parent-like couple.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:14 AM
28

That’s her problem right there: not understanding the difference between a friend and a romantic partner, and I’d also be willing to bet that she sexualises her platonic friendships. Confusion all around. She’s not in a position to mentor others, when she lacks basic relational skills herself. I also might be wrong but every single poly I met had very obvious BPD traits, meaning little empathy and other interpersonal/interpersonal troubles.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:57 AM
14

It may well have been that her mother was an abrasive, micromanaging woman, we can’t know for sure. But we can tell that she’s definitely casting every woman she sees in the role of her mother, choosing to blindly contradict that schema in her mind instead of getting a good look at it, and that shows some unresolved issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:04 PM
6

Yeah, it’s your fault he’s drinking! If you moved out, he’d never touch a drop of alcohol again! 🤣🤣🤣 As if!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:00 PM
9

What a load of tosh. She says that we shouldn’t misinterpret her advice to be softer as becoming a mouse (yet she’s doing exactly that), but fails to acknowledge that she’s misinterpreted the advice for women to be authentic and strong human beings as becoming bulldozers (or micromanaging, like her mother was). There’s such an influx of shit advice for women these days. Some cOaChEs even say that “Doing Masculine Things Can Create Disease And Dull Our Beauty” 🤣🤣🤣I kid you not, the article is bel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:54 PM
1

Australia?!! 😱😨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:36 PM
12

I think that’s the best description.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:34 PM
3

Hm, you may be right, but that was 8 months into the relationship, so I hope not! He loved talking and texting, it was hard getting a word in sometimes. And ellipses were his style, not sure what that might signify. A disordered mind? 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 10:29 PM
3

That’s also true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:54 AM
9

Banging sailors, soldiers and pilots is a bad idea, unless that’s all you want and you’re not giving them your number/not keeping theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:50 AM
1

Not sure what groups your talking about? Can you share more info?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:05 AM
59

I’d say that just listing observable things you’re good at (my last ex did, which were all true since I actively worked on them all my life), but failing to mention why they’re important to him and what effect they have on him would signify lack of emotional connection. Edit: I’ve dug up the list. Here it goes: Intelligent Kind Compassionate Loving Caring Genuine Hard working Curious Loyal Forgiving Open minded Understanding Selfless Funny a great cook... And off course Down to earth.... There a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:03 AM
1

37, smokes weed, lives in gran’s basement, has some computer skills from gaming and is unemployed. What a catch.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:50 AM
2

I’ll add another detail for you: the first time I met this couple was in a zombie apocalypse event, might have been Halloween or something. This guy is bald as an egg and had a rubber rat cleverly glued to his head with special effects makeup and prosthetics, so that it looked like it was eating its way out of it. And that’s the image of him that always used to come up for me when his name would be mentioned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 07:12 AM
43

Absolutely. One red flag more often than not leads to multiple others, and if you gIvE hIm a cHaNcE, you find yourself in a flag factory, having wasted your fertile years or the years when everybody’s coupling up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:53 AM
38

Voila, she’s his new victim. Have some pity on the poor girl and be glad it’s not you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 04:04 AM
3

What are you doing with a girl who’s happy to have the same dick inside her that’s been inside you?! This is not a friend, she’s gross, even if you DGAF about your ex, it’s still somewhat incestuous since you’re friends. Would your mom be as cool with her best friend shacking up with your dad? I didn’t think so. You don’t need to drop them both immediately since you’ll have that void, which will make you lonely and potentially vulnerable to some even shittier friendships. Try to organise things …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 03:57 AM
6

Maybe it’s all in his head. However, I knew a couple (my alcoholic ex’s best friends), where both were exceptionally ugly, mostly through lack of self care and apparent intentional wearing of clothes that were as unflattering for their body shapes as it gets. The woman though, was highly intelligent and had a high flying managerial job in a national museum. The scrote was unemployed and occasionally made leather sheaths for some medieval reenactment daggers and swords. I kid you not. Both in ear…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:52 AM
3

Haha, this is amazing and so spot on! 😆😆😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 02:43 AM
116

I came here looking for better advice than a pickme forum run by a couple of shitty dating coaches that I was briefly part of; and the handbook and other compulsory reading had me captivated for several evenings straight. I feel like a convert, haha 🤣 It’s so obvious that most women spend their lives improving themselves and improving the lives of others, so the only thing we usually need to focus on (especially when we’re past our formative years and 20s) is not what else we can do convince the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:30 AM
41

I want to be you in about ten years ☺️ I’m single, so that part is sorted, and I’m well on the way of getting my own place somewhere nice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:23 AM
3

That’s Hinge, an app that markets itself a serious dating app. And I do have a problem with the poly nonsense - usually it’s very shallow people incapable of having any kind of relationships looking to abuse those who are more vulnerable. So the new prospect might know what she’s getting into, but I bet that his main GF was probably bullied into this. Seen it many times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:58 PM
2

Such a sweet and passionate woman! Really appreciate her advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:54 PM
3

🤣🤣🤣 And that’s probably his “good” photo. Imagine what he looks like IRL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:25 PM
3

I don’t want to find out what it looks like 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:23 PM
7

I don’t understand how that works for them. They must be targeting the most vulnerable of the vulnerable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:23 PM
5

Haha, you’re terrible 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:19 PM
3

Don’t know how ugly makes someone odd. And the only difference there is that these guys don’t put the minimal effort in their self care and clothing selection. Most attractive people aren’t just born pretty - it’s how you present yourself and your charisma that comes from striving to be a kind and decent human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:15 PM
9

Like a chimp in the river?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:11 PM
37

Take mixed signals as a no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 08:25 AM
4

Yep, email and full name will reveal a lot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:08 PM
43

The next day date is too short a notice in my opinion and gets dangerously close to a booty call. If that was really the case that the guy had to work, he shouldn’t have asked her out on a day there was that risk or should not have taken the shift/called in sick, moved mountains to keep his word. He clearly wasn’t interested, because he would have immediately added an apology, an offer to make up and an alternative time/date. My verdict is that he was hedging his bets and some other girl was fre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 10:02 PM
7

Bloody hell, that must have been a terrifying revelation. Most with a cluster B PD won’t get a formal diagnosis though, because its’ very nature is poor insight and seeing nothing wrong with oneself, but seeing as everyone else at fault. And there’s no cure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 09:49 PM
6

Sometimes people are wrongly diagnosed with bipolar when it should be BPD. Think about whether this is what you want and why you want it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:34 PM
4

Cluster B: antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, histrionic personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder. Which one of those can be HV?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:32 PM
33

It’s more the case of incubating a developing brain in terror.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:24 PM
24

A therapist would tell him to grow up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:10 PM
23

Shit. Depending on the country you’re in, you can report him to the child protection services and get other people to do it independently/anonymously too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:04 PM
37

I’m so sorry that you were abused by someone who was sick enough to offload his anger issues on the most defenceless targets. It wasn’t about you, the pencil or the juice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:03 PM
5

Why are you stuck with him? Are you still together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 01:00 PM
97

Imagine being assaulted like that as an adult - that would terrify, traumatise and scar you for life. Imagine what it does to a young brain, on which any events have a disproportionately larger impact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:59 PM
40

That’s some sick manipulation with a growing mind to meet an adult’s needs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:57 PM
51

Yep, people’s preferences for rough sex and for being abused often fade once they’ve processed their early trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:56 PM
2

Yep, now thanks to FDS I’ve been able to diagnose him with erectile dysfunction and delayed ejaculation 😆 He did actually once let it slip that he “watches a lot of porn” and the other time that he jerks off every morning. Pity he preferred his hand to an actual human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 08:50 AM
3

If the switch is going to remind you of the guy, then ask around if anyone knows a struggling family with kids and gift it to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 09:06 PM
3

Well, you probably haven’t missed much, since it doesn’t update often... 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 01:11 PM
18

TBH, I think I would have been too. He was handsome, well mannered, polite and appeared confident. He also held a degree in psychology and had worked as a counsellor on a suicide hotline. What’s not to like?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:55 PM
10

Your guilt is still a withdrawal symptom. When a bit more time passes and you’ll lose your blinkers completely, you’ll realise what a disgusting maggot he was and that this guilt you’re feeling was also part of his manipulation repertoire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:28 PM
38

Ted Bundy was very pleasant most of the time, and good at tennis, when he wasn’t murdering women and copulating with their corpses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 12:26 PM
51

That’s how my sister’s friend got murdered - a junior doctor, nice family and kind nature. Quiet psycho exboyfriend came to talk it out to her new place. He got put away, but this is not going to bring the only child back to her parents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:39 AM
16

and/or this guy has some BPD traits and that the first sign of things to come. Run!!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:39 AM
22

My observation is that you’re far too understanding. I see you posting distress alarms about this dude for almost three weeks, AND you’re in a LDR, while people on other subs told you to cOmMuNiCaTe, and you did, and here you are. You’re in the easiest situation to cut him off, since you don’t have to see him at work, at your local haunt or in the shops. Block and delete and make some solid plans to keep your idle hands busy when you’re most likely to feel lonely and reach for the phone. Wishing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 06:37 AM
5

Hmmm, not sure what so HV about this - sounds like he did the very basics for a few hours (shielding you from the police and paying for the drinks). He also rejected you romantically, so if I was you I would move swiftly onwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 03:30 AM
11

I think a good while ago there was an article on this sub about several girls who got murdered by sick scrotes during sex. All very nice looking girls, from apparently good families, well educated. Most of the scrotes (if my memory serves me well), with the exception of one drug dealer with tattooed face, all dressed well, presented well and spoke well. If someone could dig up that article, the OP might find it helpful and it’s likely going to show her how lucky she is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:10 PM
33

Fuck, this girl has just escaped a murder 😱😱😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:08 PM
34

I was prone to outdoor dates, since I love hiking and some extreme outdoor sports, and it’s so exciting when you meet someone who’s not only handsome/smart, but is also into the same fringe hobby, so I’d agree to do some of that extreme sports stuff together, go on long hikes etc. On reflection, it could have been a very bad decision due to safety issues (thankfully, none of my dates turned out murderous or even remotely aggressive) but also, while I certainly enjoyed the activity, it did not re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 11:04 PM
1

Of course it’s normal to be sad, and you will grieve for a while, that’s expected. But it sounds like your friendship with these women was held together by some unhealthy dynamics, and now you’ve introduced changes, which have thrown these dynamics up in the air, and maybe your friends can not function without a dysfunction. You don’t have cut them off dramatically, just be courteous and too “busy” to have long conversations on the phone, attend their parties or even go out for coffee, and the r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 09:57 PM
3

TBH, she sounds trashy. Throughout the years I’ve had situational friendships, where I’d be thrown in with people that I’d eventually begin spending more time with. Some of those situations were pretty shit and these friends were the best thing in them, but not the best thing for me, or the best thing in general. I invited one friend like that to visit me for a few weeks, after not seeing her for years. When she arrived I soon realised that we had nothing in common, including moral standards, an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:33 PM
11

They both sound like a gross couple. She is defending his sexually assaultive behaviours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:19 PM
5

My dog would never dream of pissing where we live.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 12:16 PM
2

Is me or “my man” sounds a bit rough n ready?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 08:56 AM
45

I interpreted that as men wanting to have something concrete to show for their value in women’s lives. So I think he’s saying that while emotional support is important, that’s not something you’ll be talking to other people at parties about: “so, Jane here is a doctor, I’m a property developer, and what do you do?” “Oh, I provide emotional support to your cousin Emily”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:29 AM
17

Double bingo on what you said 😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:27 AM
4

... the guys know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:26 AM
3

Apparently, that’s what worked for the blog creators, so this must be true for everyone and can be sold as a foolproof strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:21 AM
3

Sometimes, if I’m in a silly mood and bored, I will entertain these obvious PUAs. I try to play as dumb as possible before I report them. I always wonder whether they’ll catch on that the woman at the other end is taking the piss, but they never do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:20 AM
5

We split up in January. I don’t really worry about or believe in the wall, I feel and look way better than I ever did. I am back online, and for the past few years I’ve been feeling that it’s men who hit the wall, face forward. That not taking care of their health and appearance is catching up with them, and as a result I almost never swipe right. I’m not after someone exceptionally handsome, just someone who scrubs up once in a while and is an adult, inside and out. The ex was actually very han…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:16 AM
9

Yeah, of course, on the 8 th date, so about two months in. He was very chuffed with it at first, but then started avoiding it. Probably cause he could never get it up completely and has never finished, and in the end tried to say that the reason for friendship was cause he never felt attracted to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 01:27 AM
18

The only time I ignored it, was the first time I heard it and didn’t know what it meant yet. And it came to bite me on the ass, because 8 months down the line it was all over, when the dude reiterated the “friendship” thus demoting me (after we both met each other’s families and friends). He said that it was me who rushed into it, and if it was up to him, we’d still be developing a fRiEnDsHiP, EIGHT MONTHS later, and that’s us in the late 30s.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:57 PM
27

The times I’ve heard it, it was always about something really mundane and basic, and from online guys, so it made me think that this is one of the cheap PUA techniques to make you feel “special”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:50 PM
1

This whole story sounds so chaotic and unnecessarily contrived. Sounds like both, your friend and this guy have a bit of a penchant for drama. I’d stay away from both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:47 PM
2

😆😆😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:44 PM
5

The the stone cold truth, sis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:43 PM
3

Whaaat? You’re exaggerating or speaking figuratively, right? 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:41 PM
2

Haha, yes, and it looks like it’s been penned by a teenager.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:37 PM
2

I’m not sure what to say to you, since I suffer from the same affliction!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:36 PM
6

Yep, I have a couple of low-achieving friends with no drive or direction in life (we know each other through a sports activity), who keep telling me that holding a man to the same expectations I hold myself to is being unrealistic and that somehow finding someone who loves you and someone with age-appropriate, average life achievements are mutually exclusive. I thank them for their input and continue doing my thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:36 PM
3

I personally have been having a shit time during COVID, and everything was getting to me, especially communication. I have a childhood friend on another continent that I normally speak to daily, when I’m on the road between work appointments. COVID meant all work from home and less downtime, making my brain boil. I was acting exactly like your friend and while I explained to my friend that I can no longer talk during working hours and we should save it for the weekends, she insisted we use my sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:31 PM
5

I could understand if she wanted to come along on her own, but bringing her husband to a divorce trip was going to be an attempt at a power move to make you feel like you’ve just lost in a “husband” competition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:23 PM
36

I used to have a potato man. I called him this, because he asked me out for a pub dinner, then when we got to my choice of pub (close to where he and also I lived), he was outraged at food prices and said he wasn’t going to eat. I ordered potato chips and had to pay for them myself, with him once again expressing his outrage at the price, then eating half of them. No, I didn’t stand up and leave. I stayed with him for 4 more years and it was an excellent indication of things to come. 🤡🤡🤡🎪🎪🎪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:17 PM
8

Was his name Ben from NJ? This is a perfect example of a typical polyamorous scrote. There is no “amor” in polyamory really, it’s an oxymoron. I would feel so fucking violated if I was in your shoes. And why did your friend need to hide his identity? What was her part in this scheme to rope you in?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:05 PM
23

Was it this? “Believe it or not, your total helplessness in certain moments can potentially give men access to their protective emotions. It gives them access to love in its purest form.” It is pretty sickening and an incredibly irresponsible advice when so many women are being abused and die worldwide at the hands of their partners.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 12:00 PM
6

They don’t want you to get excited and would not meet you, if you said: “what’s your address? I’m coming!”. These are old school flashers using modern technology, and they get off on a woman’s (imagined) shock response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:38 AM
10

Well, the good thing is you didn’t contact him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:27 AM
17

What are you currently getting from this interaction and what are you anticipating to be the outcome?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:25 AM
2

Savage 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:20 AM
28

That is an excellent point. We need to ask how to weed them out better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:19 AM
19

*the saddest thing. It won’t allow me to edit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:43 AM
3

That’s waaaay to young for me to understand 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:31 AM
2

Well, there’s lots of retirees and just general office workers that like to counteract sedentary work with physical activity, so might not be all as sexy as you imagine 😆 Like with most volunteering work, there’s usually opportunities from admin to field work, and they train you from zero. Just phone up your local SAR or look them up online and see what it’s all about! Also, SAR sometimes team up with volunteer fire services and the local police, which are all mostly male!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:29 AM
2

That’s a good point! I am also extremely picky whom I live with, but it worked really well when I had a friend live in my house for about six months.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 08:26 AM
1

I only post pictures of nature and have a small “fan” base (including a guy I banged twice) that will always watch my stories. I figured that some people just go through all stories at the top of their feed when they’re sitting on a toilet in the morning, like they would with a morning paper.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:46 PM
2

I think that’s no surprise at all. Like those religious cults and hippie communes in the 60s and 70s - the outside picture was very pretty, but when they all started falling apart, people who got away told a very different story... AND they were mostly run by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 09:43 PM
21

Not scared, just lazy and prefer leaving all parenting to screens. Then it gets harder when they have to challenge ingrained shitty patterns instead of preventing them through actually spending time with their kid. I can tell you for a fact that what you described is the opposite of what constitutes child abuse and neglect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:15 PM
133

A stroke patient?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:09 PM
4

Your other posts from over a year ago say that he continued moving various members of his family in, and I imagine he was disregarding how you’d feel about living with strangers, and that he’d spend most of his time at work. Now he is comfortable disregarding your clear communication entirely and isn’t shy to verbally abuse you. Do you see the trajectory? It’s only going to get worse. Time to pack up and go to where you’re treated with kindness and respect, even if it’s just by yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:14 AM
5

He served his purpose, now - onto better and greater things!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 11:02 AM
11

I don’t know any women of any religion who’d be impressed by that 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:23 AM
273

Typed while scratching his sweaty balls in mom’s basement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:52 AM
14

I’m wondering whether she was a girl my sociopath ex screwed on his business trip to Asia (along with many, many other women, all strangers and no protection - he loved the risk and being impulsive) - after a one night stand she sent him a bunch of cringeworthy selfies with hearts and cute pink captions :”thinking of you”, “your sweet face” etc. I thought it was OTT and rather odd in this situation, but maybe it was all part of the plan that some entitled scrotes fall for, thinking: “finally, a …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 01:48 AM
3

Thanks for taking your time to write this. I really loved Kim Saeed’s articles and videos when I was recovering from my narcissist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 11:18 PM
11

For positive male attention AND self esteem- do you have any hobbies that could put you in touch with HVM with similar interests? Maybe you could volunteer in that area? E.g., I occasionally volunteer with mountain search and rescue, it’s mostly all male. Everyone is very respectful, and it’s just a nice environment to be in anyway, especially our training events, competitions etc. Also, I really like Ken Page’s Deeper Dating podcast. In the beginning of the series he talks about uncovering your…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:56 PM
2

That’s exactly what I mean - did these kids or their mothers give consent for their pictures to be used to appeal to some woman’s ovaries and get in her pants? Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:46 PM
17

I thought this was about pickme culture and the actual hookup apps...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 09:35 PM
9

One of my pet peeves is holding other people’s children in the photo. Or even their own kids, especially if the profile is quasi-fuckboi type. 🤢🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:43 PM
3

Haha, maybe his previous movie date sat on his left 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:34 PM
5

Netflix and Nandos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:30 PM
2

My last ex unprompted sent me a really long list about my good qualities, but there was not one word about what impact they or I had on him, how I made him feel. I was about to break it off with him, and this list just hurt me even more. I said to him that it made me feel that despite all these amazing qualities which I consciously worked on very hard all my life, he made me feel like I still didn’t deserve love. 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:22 PM
60

The problem with this human sewage is that they feel no shame or accountability, so yes, we do need to shame them and find ways (aside from imprisonment, which only happens in a tiny minority of cases) to make them feel the consequences of being shunned and rejected by society, not to validate their sick desires and send them deeper into their perverse rabbit warren. All other work, like exploration of their emotions and coping strategies is already available via various services.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:12 PM
54

You reminded me of my long forgotten European breakfasts... I will do that next Saturday ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 02:02 PM
29

I’ve met people in the past, who told me that they were given all sorts of advice and support throughout their lives, including professional support services, and it all fell on deaf ears at the time. Then a breaking point came, long after the supports were gone, and all words of wisdom came flooding back and it all fell into places. My takeaway from this is that all we can do is sow some seeds and, if the person is resistant to change, leave it right there. They will only change when they’re re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/20 01:56 PM
6

He shouldn’t have even posted them in the first place. It’s not your job to teach a grown man basic standards of respectful human behaviour. And it’s too late for that now anyway, so you’ve gotta take it or leave it. And if you take it, know that now is the best part of your relationship, as it is still a relatively new one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:49 PM
10

Been there, done that. You’re looking for confirmation that there is hope, but he’s told you rather clearly, even though in a very wordy manner: “it’s not you, it’s me”. Everything else is to just soften the blow, to see himself as a good guy, letting you down gently. If you force it, he might agree to string you along a little while longer and you’ll get the same answer a few months down the line, while he’s banging some other girl at college. Two months is absolutely nothing - people are still…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 08:48 PM
12

Guilt tripping you around sex is sexual coercion, even if you don’t end up having sex right away, but you will end up feeling an obligation and putting it out the next time when you might just want a good night’s sleep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:37 PM
20

He doesn’t have to do everything they mention in the video. There are many examples, but one is enough. Guilt tripping you into sex, sulking when you don’t put out, using “logic” to make you have sex when you’re not up to it, is all coercion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:26 PM
24

Legal is just the absolute minimum of what’s acceptable. And that bar is mostly set by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:13 PM
4

I can tell you for a fact that all of this is in his wildest dreams only. Just like you wouldn’t be interested in a 16 year old boy, older women don’t want to teach anyone, that’s the biggest turnoff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:09 PM
6

That’s exactly what he’s doing to you and he knows it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:08 PM
20

So he coerces you into sex? That’s sexual abuse, and very clear cut too. It will only get worse. https://youtu.be/rJ6UML1c_V0
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 02:00 PM
32

He’s definitely triangulating. Not only he doesn’t give a shit about how his actions make the OP feel, he enjoys the sadistic pleasure of humiliating her, “jokes”, flirting with older women ( who most likely see him as pathetic) and whatnot. He knows what he’s doing. He most likely watched too much porn and probably never had sex with these women he talks about. He has no respect for women and sees all as holes to be used. Dump him, girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:58 PM
9

Terrifying! And this is him still restraining himself (for now). Imagine what he would have done to you if he wasn’t scared of consequences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:52 PM
105

Tough shit. Since I’m not your girl, I don’t care what you want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:49 PM
11

Haha, what? He thought he was in a place to pass a judgement on you? 🤡🎪😂 I remember an asshole judging others for bringing non-kosher “crummy” wine to parties, as compared with his expensive kosher wine (bought with taxpayers money, because he refused to work, quoting depression), while he saw himself a devout Orthodox Jew. In the meantime, he continuously cheated on his young and sweet wife he had three kids with (and she was also working), saying he had sex addiction and getting her to feel so…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:17 PM
9

They’ll never pursue a HVW. They’ll just go from one broken pickme to another, avoiding being held accountable for their shitty actions and choices when the initial excitement wears off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:11 PM
17

Probably mostly creepy attention too? ☹️ I can’t imagine a woman finding a decent person in the pool of that type of “admirers”. I heard that strippers say that usually, there are only two types of men that want to date a dancer, and it’s either a possessive psycho or someone who wants to pimp her out (in probably less obvious ways, but use her for money and brag to his “boys” that he’s bagged himself a stripper).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:51 AM
31

The vast majority of women on Instagram don’t make a cent out of posting these soft porn pictures, and are out of pocket for buying the lingerie and whatnot. I don’t understand the point of doing this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 07:57 AM
9

That’s not that unusual. In my 20s I used Nuvaring, which was supposed to cause the least damage, since it only releases hormones “locally”. It took a few years and a few different doctors to make the connection between my new debilitating migraines that would go on for 3 days (vomit, aura, drooling, snots and diarrhoea, plus enormous headache). The new doctor immediately took me off it, saying that this meant I was at risk of stroke!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:56 AM
11

He knew very well that he was forcing past your boundaries. You don’t need to do anything other than to say: “I’m not comfortable with this, bye” and block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:38 AM
7

You don’t need any achievements to be loved for who you are. None at all. You don’t need to “earn” love, just BE in order to be loved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:35 AM
45

Every single person I met who was into this shit was badly damaged to begin with. Full of hatred or self-hatred, or both, abusive in a variety of ways and historionic. And no, none of their amazing woke relationships lasted more than a couple of years, if that. All of it centred around sex only. And I absolutely concur that the OLD scrotes looking for a “unicorn” or a woman to abuse through BDSM, are the ugliest turds ever, incels who finally found a vulnerable woman to drag into a relationship …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 05:32 AM
12

We are not men’s rehabs. This is the mentality of an alcoholic’s wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 01:46 AM
60

Yep, same. And I’m not wealthy or anything, just comfortable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:06 AM
2

Bloody hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 05:04 AM
2

Thank you - I might go through my stuff, especially since I’ll be looking for a house to buy in the near future, so might as well... Re. books - I do read, but mostly work related literature, which probably isn’t the best idea, so I’ve just ordered a couple of Penguin classics!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 04:59 AM
0

Thank you! I did announce it on FB, as there are a few events coming where my friends will most definitely expect me to drink, so I just wanted to let them know not to pester me, and almost every response was something silly and jokey. But that’s ok, they know now and I’ll stand my ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:11 PM
2

Thank you. My secret hope is that if I manage a month, I will then extend it to another month, and then, who knows - maybe into forever?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:09 PM
1

A Poetic Eyore! 🤣 I love it 🤣 You don’t know the dude, yet you’ve described him so well! Haha, everything was a disaster for him, he couldn’t talk about anyone he knew without making it sound like the person’s world was about to end, even though every single story was pretty mundane. His favourite phrase about anyone or anything was “it’s really bad now” 🎭🎪🤡 Yet, he said he didn’t like drama 😂 Thanks for a different perspective - I think I got pulled in too much and took that roller coaster with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 10:06 PM
1

I do think they are partially right though, as unfortunately straight men typically like to look and smell like a dumpster.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:05 PM
12

WTF 🤣🤣🤣 That’s exactly what gay ISN’T.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:04 PM
4

I think you might have meant “plaque”, but plague is actually way, way better suited to some of these men’s appearance! 🤣🤣🤣 I love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 01:00 PM
6

Cancer is a bit more “toxic” though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:57 PM
1

SAVAGE!!! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:54 PM
11

I’ll be very keen to find out whether he gets back to the OP. Please update us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:16 PM
1

I want to be like you! That’s actually my sneaky dream - to give up alcohol altogether, I’m just worried that I might be too weak... Point 1 is a bit hard, since I usually only go out with 2-3 friends at the most, and it’s typically a restaurant, a dinner party or a picnic, and my not drinking will be very much noticed. The other points are definitely great - I can switch to cranberry juice pretty much right away, and I’m actually going away on Sunday for 5 weeks for work, so it will be a comple…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:06 PM
2

That’s a fantastic idea, thank you! I love making smoothies, but haven’t done much of that lately - I will go into my Pinterest recipes and will do some experimenting in the kitchen with some fancy ingredients!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 09:57 AM
4

Thank you, I am trying to form some new friendships, I have a few hobbies that I can use as a vehicle to meet new people... And that’s a very good point that he was being manipulative and in essence saying: “put your needs aside and take care of me, because I can’t be bothered to do that”. I didn’t see it like that before, but now it makes sense that he was manipulative. He also has said in the past things like: “ your friendship has been my antidepressant when I didn’t see the reason to live” (…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:11 AM
2

Thank you! And yes, I do need to remind myself to treat myself with kindness, or how I treat others (e.g., my exes). FDS has been immensely helpful with that and helping me get rid of guilt when I do something nice for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 08:06 AM
78

You know what, I am always the one rescuing all people and animals around me, and I’ve come to a conclusion that I do that because I don’t believe that others can be trusted to have empathy and to come to help. And I am fully aware that this is what it was like when I was growing up. I had a very good experience a couple of weeks back, when there was a lost dog wandering in my street, that tried to come to my house with me. While the dog was very cute and friendly, I also found a dead cat in my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:24 AM
8

I hear that therapists say that couples come to therapy when it’s usually too late... And the therapist’s job is to help the couple have a better marriage or a better divorce. So make your decision, especially if you are gonna be out of your own pocket, considering that. Also, some unhealthy relationship/family systems need to have a “sick” person in order for their dynamic to continue. You’re no longer “sick”, so the cards have been thrown up in the air and the two of you need to decide whether…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 05:18 AM
1

Who in their right mind would bring up something as personal as a miscarriage or an abortion with a colleague?! If anything, I hope that people will feel your pain, at least to some degree.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 12:26 AM
2

That’s a pity - Beth sounds like a good person, although too much of a pleaser at the moment to consider things like your need for privacy. I know you said it’d be good for others to see your messages, but Beth should be thinking about healthy boundaries and keeping your disclosures about the pain you’ve been put through to herself rather than getting group approval from sharing this info. The rest of the story sounds like high school girl gangs, chaotic, self-centred and vindictive. I would rem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:10 PM
9

Maybe your friends were the kind of people who needed someone in their group to play the victim role so that they could be saviours. When they saw that this dynamic was going to be no more, their fragile egos got shattered, and they needed to do something as awful to destabilise you, to throw you into the victim pit again. This is beyond devious, and they are likely similar sociopaths to your ex. They probably gravitated to you because you were vulnerable and your boundaries have been non-existe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:59 AM
13

I waited to end a LDR with a NVM face to face. He probably knew it was coming, or wanted me to end in anyway, and ensured to delay our next meeting for several months, which was like being stuck in a limbo. When in the end I did meet up with him and ended it, he found a stupid excuse to hand me his phone while he ran off somewhere for a few minutes. I found pictures and text messages of him having unprotected sex with about 30 different women. I’m sure he handed the phone over on purpose. It mus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 05:16 AM
9

Some men keep their groseness well hidden. I know a guy from a sports activity, who is in his early 40s and works with computers. He looks like the most boring kind of guy, not a dudebro, always very polite and well socialised, never says anything remotely sexist or disrespectful, dresses well. We were at our activity along with other people and started discussing online dating, got to the age range we set for a potential partner, and I said mine was within my decade, whereas he said he said he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 10:07 PM
1

Are you sure these legs belong to a guy??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 09:39 PM
5

What?! Whose ass was in the pics?? 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:25 PM
5

A spring onion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 12:06 PM
7

Good for you! I should have done it with my ex too. Mind you, I was also quite young and dumb when I was with him. Another thing that I should add is that the cheapskates have a huge sense of entitlement, beginning with trying to buy everything for next to nothing, feeling entitled to other people’s labour (i.e., they’re fine with slavery), to feeling entitled to a woman’s time, money she spends on her appearance, attention and effort when they take her out on a free/almost free date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 11:18 AM
45

Yeah, and I don’t like him for who he is - a parasite, who thinks that the rest of the world should be supporting him. All those “freebies” aren’t free, businesses have to pay for them, and his continuous obsession with being cheap is beyond revolting. I had an ex that came close to that, even though he earned a lot of money. He phoned me on my work phone once to have a go about $1 that I paid less for our already cheap 50/50 dinner that he took me out to. 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 11:05 AM
3

Haha, thank you! I didn’t realise that, but it fits FDS very well 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:50 PM
4

Leave them out and you’ll kill two birds with one stone: you’ll have a stress-free wedding and maybe they’ll never bother you again!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 10:09 PM
52

I would not use this “confession” as any sort of evidence, just like anything else that Bundy said. He was absolutely not someone whose words you should find any value in. There’s more context to this “confession”. While the idea that violence and depraved porn certainly influence impressionable brains, especially while in early developmental stages, is valid, this interview was a complete farce. Bundy knew he was going to be interviewed by an ultra conservative politician, who was also a sociop…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 09:59 PM
3

Didn’t get the first sentence?.. I wonder if it’s an FDS or a geographic colloquialism?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 09:41 PM
8

The fucking Hinge keeps telling me to lower my standards, as I run out of men in my city periodically. That means, accepting a shorty or someone who smokes, uses cannabis or hard drugs and is more that 5 years either side of my age. Am I really asking for that much??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:35 PM
3

Anyone wondering about the effects of childhood abuse should look up some YouTube videos by Bessel van der Kolk or read his book The Body Keeps the Score. It’s peer-reviewed stuff and involves diagnosable mental health disorders, physical diseases, high mortality and criminality rates.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 01:00 PM
3

I’d say these are more social conversation rules rather than the first date rules. The second list consists of things that would be dealbreakers for many people, if opinions differed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:39 PM
9

I’d probably add that it might be a good idea to try and weave those questions into an otherwise innocent conversation, if you want to get genuine reactions and genuine responses, rather than rattling them out like in an interview. I start with something like:”so, what have you been up to this week?”, then let them go on for a bit, making a lot of mental notes about his self-direction, meaningful activities, importance of relationships in his life etc. Then: “is this your typical week?”, “what s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 12:33 PM
40

Not really. He’s just told everyone he’s pathetic and insecure in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 10:14 PM
62

🤢 No dicks on the table please!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:07 PM
25

He dug himself into that hole so nicely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 12:06 PM
5

My mum used to say that there was some old saying along the lines of: “avoid a man thats a hunchback, cross-eyed or is limping”. As a kid I used to think that it was cruel, but now I get exactly what she was saying. It’s not the minor physical deficit that’s the issue, it’s the male bitterness that is like poison.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:22 AM
3

WTF. I dated some losers, but they never talked about my height like it’s something they are willing to overlook (I’m 5’9). If anything it was always something they didn’t have a particular opinion on or thought it was a good feature. I like my height and always wanted to be a couple on inches taller. A difficulty though that anything that makes you an outlier (your height, your income, your education), will automatically narrow your dating pool, unless you’re willing to date men inferior to you…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 11:10 AM
9

I don’t know, I’d like to think that he felt some degree of shame, even if he was wanting to break it off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 07:32 AM
40

I’d probably feel sick and not have the appetite. But maybe I’d consider giving it to a homeless person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:21 AM
59

What’s 60 bucks in comparison with showing the dude clearly and unambiguously: “I was here, I saw what you did, now face the consequences of your actions”!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:19 AM
13

Thank you for the award, anonymous benefactor!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 03:12 AM
74

I would have responded with “*you’re” and left it at that 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:40 PM
5

disRESPECT! 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:46 PM
26

Cause he’s never seen one from close enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:44 PM
21

What’s 4chan? I’m scared to google it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:23 PM
3

A chinless wonder?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:21 PM
1

Yes, yes, I know there’s a debate going on about it, and there’s also EQ, and kinaesthetic intelligence and whatnot... The debate has been going on for some years now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 09:18 PM
7

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:15 PM
2

Done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:04 PM
1

When the guy tells you he doesn’t know why his past relationships ended, and looks genuinely confused when you ask him to think about it. My dude was almost 40, when I asked him. This was very early on and one of many red flags of this Peter Pan, pathologically dependent on and still being raised by his family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:01 PM
2

Maybe you can be, and most of us, who aren’t autistic, can be. The real question is whether we’d want to and if it’s something we’d flaunt!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:53 PM
5

I ended up in two relationships after one night stands that I in no way intended to be anything more, but the guys persisted and pursued until I gave in. And when I gave in, they became abusive in every way except physical, which would have actually made it more obvious to me that I was being abused and I would have left wayyyyy earlier. The first relationship took five years of my twenties and a lot of my mental well-being, and the second one - a year. I still would not date guys with the first…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:12 PM
13

I think what the OP was saying was that she expected some basic manners from the guy while both were engaging in a mutually pleasant activity. Sounds like he was a complete trash and couldn’t even maintain that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 12:07 PM
17

I was with one too, and while he was no threat to me at any point, he still tried to fuck me over in some minor, pathetic ways, like “surprising” me with giving our landlord two weeks’ notice on both our behalf, sending out a group message to all our mutual friends detailing what a b*tch I was (mind you, this was when we were both in our early-mid thirties, so no one really responded or wanted to get involved), then made it as difficult as possible for me to retrieve my stuff from his mum’s stor…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 11:58 AM
6

Hmmm, I’ll beg to disagree with this one! IQ is pretty stable, even though it does go up by a few points as the person matures.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:26 AM
22

Haha, OP, you savage woman! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 08:25 AM
20

What a turd.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:38 AM
14

This “friend” sounds like Ghislaine Maxwell. Your friend’s own younger sister got sexually assaulted, and she completely invalidated her. Family disbelieving sexual assault often is as damaging as the assault itself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:29 PM
2

Apple podcasts too! And there’s a book as well, if you like reading.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:21 PM
5

I highly recommend listening to Deeper Dating podcast by Ken Page, where he talks about relationships of inspiration and relationships of deprivation, and why we may tend to gravitate to the latter. The big part of it is that we’re attracted to those people who hurt us in familiar ways, usually something we carry from childhood. And he talks how to learn to be your own protector and also how to start being attracted to relationships of inspiration.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:06 PM
15

I wouldn’t be so sure about that.... Plenty of creeps around fetishising crazy hair colours and nerdy/alternative girl look, especially since she’s more likely to look of school age that way...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:45 AM
4

You know, sometimes I wonder whether things like that are an unfortunate learned strategy from PUA, or if these guys are just natural born assholes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 02:42 AM
13

Can we invite this girl here so that she can see all the support she’s getting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:58 AM
35

In my case - two degrees and a guy without even birth a certificate or a passport, cause he was not organised enough to get a copy of the former to renew the latter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 01:49 AM
15

Eastern European men are terrible - sexism there is rife, and so if domestic violence and alcoholism. Stay away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:18 PM
3

WTF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 01:04 PM
6

I’m so sorry these people exist in your life - this is the worst kind of betrayal: by those who should be your nearest and dearest. How did you turn out so different? It must have taken some real good insight and determination to hold on tightly to your moral compass despite everyone around you acting like bottom-feeders. I feel angry and sad for you, but also very impressed by your toughness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:46 AM
23

Men begging for dinner.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:54 AM
5

I’d tell him that I work at a local STD clinic. The rest would be the same. This is also what I say to guys, who try the stupid pickup line: “haven’t I seen you somewhere?” or “you look familiar”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:51 AM
4

Sign him up to a local bakery’s newsletter or to a bread baking interest group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:48 AM
13

My ex from many years ago, who was the most concerned about me gold digging from him, lived in my apartment rent-free, I had to clean up after his crusty ass all the time and shop/cook for both (he’d reluctantly throw in enough money to cover the frozen economy pizzas he loved so much), he also ruined some of my wall paint and decor and furniture with his grubby claws and shitty attempts at DIY, offered to spit on my walls to “cure me of my cleaning OCD” (which is a complete BS). Meanwhile, I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:33 AM
18

I miss my last LVM a lot, every day in fact, but it doesn’t mean I have ever regretted breaking up with him, not even for a second. It’s hard missing him, especially since I’m the kind of person who takes a year or more to recover between relationships. I’d love to go on dates, but just can’t find it in myself to feel attraction towards anyone, nor do I have the energy to actively look. I’m on a couple of dating apps, where men can message me without matching or anything, but the ones that have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 06:24 AM
60

And mind you, he won’t be “giving you a chance” about anything in the end, because he deserves only the very best. 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:47 AM
137

I’ve always said that men are only concerned with gender equality only when they want to get out of something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 03:45 AM
1

Haha, ok, maybe that’s his evil grubby twin 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 10:48 PM
1

His name isn’t Marty by any chance?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 12:21 PM
192

OMG, is it wrong for me to fall in love with this guy (platonically)? 😆 In all seriousness, this woman bagged herself a true HVM. 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:58 AM
1

Yeah, I am originally from outside Australia, moved here permanently some years ago now, and being originally from the “outside”, I am even more aware of some very dishonest people marrying/partnering up for these lowly reasons, as some users automatically assume I’d be on their side when they tell me of their dirty plans or how they tricked someone in the past 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 04:52 AM
25

My Aussie girlfriends continuously chastise me for my standards being too high... Maybe you’ve got a point. They say that wanting a man with uni education, own property and a decent career/own business is unrealistic. Mind you, I’m in the ~40 age group and have all those attributes myself, but according to them I’ll never stand a chance to find someone to match me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:25 AM
-12

A selfie here and there is fine, but not “lots of selfies”. I see people of both genders flood social media with their faces daily or missing out on what is happening around them, because they spend half an hour staring at themselves on their phone screen, pouting and all. According to research, narcissism is on the rise and people who take lots of selfies score higher on it. There’s a lot more to life than staring at own reflection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 11:19 AM
4

And maybe it was 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:08 AM
7

He should try and greet her male friends this way and see what happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:08 AM
-35

Skip those selfies, they’re for narcissists.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 10:07 AM
43

Fucking hell. The purpose of your existence isn’t “for men”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/20 04:48 AM
10

I couldn’t make sense of most of the things she said. We’re either on different wavelengths, or one of us had a brain injury.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:47 PM
20

And how on earth glorifying a sad ending of mental illness is associated with sexual arousal?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:30 PM
22

Cause he’s too busy showing off his possessions, wife and daughter included.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:25 PM
22

Also, both are on their phones/iPads 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 01:22 PM
11

I briefly dated one that eventually proudly even said he was a Peter Pan when things were ending and he was fluttering off to Europe with no job prospects or anything, just cause it’s fun. Sex with him was amazing though, especially now that I think of the longer term guy I had after him, who could NEVER get it up fully and I have never seen have an orgasm. 😞 The first one actually did say that as a student he had a serious porn addiction and failed his course because of it, then decided to go c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:44 PM
3

I say that on my profile 😆 Too many experiences with goddamn “writers”, who are never interested in meeting and probably just interested in a lil emotional infidelity while at work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:13 PM
2

Is this what you want to look back on when you’re on your death bed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 12:14 PM
8

Just started watching this show, literally, just finished episode 5 a few minutes ago! It’s a great show, although the two daughters are extremely irritating and caricature-like with their whiny voices... It’s both, frustrating and relatable watching the main character sink into her love addiction, while enabling the man’s drug addiction and other despicable sociopathic traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:33 AM
35

He’s using too many words he doesn’t understand. Also, did he just have a stroke?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:29 AM
143

For that reason I’m always suspicious of a white guy with an Asian woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:23 AM
3

Who gives a shit about their fears. If they don’t know how to be in an adult relationship, they shouldn’t go around bothering women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:24 AM
1

That’s someone’s child, not a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 09:21 AM
6

How DOES the due process work? 🤣🤣🤣 This twat is using long words he has no business of using.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:04 AM
18

I am that aunt 😆 The only thing that’s different is that I moved to a country others only dream of as a holiday destination!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:57 AM
6

I once heard in a work training: “intuition is the sum of our experiences giving us a nudge”. And yes, there is absolutely no need to trust someone until they’ve proven us throughout multiple occasions that they are trustworthy, even when doing the wrong thing was an easier choice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 07:42 AM
1

Hm, ok, looks like in US and Canada they do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 10:28 PM
27

My problem was that I did trust them and stifled my spidey senses. With some I accidentally eventually stumbled on digital evidence of cheating, one with multiple women, all without protection, others let something slip and when I asked them straight up they ‘fessed up, with others I bluffed a little and they admitted to cheating. I did have one BF that was faithful and I had zero worries about his behaviour or what he might be hiding. I am not insecure and don’t worry for no reason. Percentage-…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:59 PM
2

Your description matches my abusive ex, also this used to be his favourite costume, and it looks like what he’d look like now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:24 PM
51

I’d be very surprised if Uber took personal parcels - they wouldn’t want to find themselves delivering drugs, guns, a head of a dead horse or a bomb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:14 PM
8

Haha, if they ask “why am I scared of you?”, respond with “because you should be”.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:11 PM
12

The worst thing is when it’s women coaches giving this advice. Or female friends. When you construct a reasonable argument to the contrary of what they’re saying, they often fall back on: “but I’m the one who’s been snapped up by a husband, not you, therefore I’m more qualified”, like they’ve won something and marriage by default must be a wonderful thing. It’s laughable, when you start getting sense what that relationship is like from their own statements in other places/at other times, or what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 02:03 PM
76

From my experience, I only regret not checking their phones sooner and making it over sooner. Like, at the very beginning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:42 PM
17

You need to tame your “understanding” side and re-examine it with a healthy dose of cynicism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:32 PM
3

This one wanted to actually 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 01:10 PM
38

She knows he’s already doing that, hence bullet point N.4.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:49 PM
26

Some years ago I dated a complete degenerate (with a good job and a cute house in Randolph, NJ). After he got my confidence he had a nerve to complain about his ex who was “a total btch”, because she wasn’t supportive enough of his whining when his next girlfriend (also “a total btch”) left him. Then, he proceeded to tell me the full story with a straight face: the old GF (proudly “sex positive”) suggested a threesome with her best friend - my suspicion was that he just kept pestering her until …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:38 PM
9

OMFG.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:15 PM
22

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:31 AM
15

At least he’s honest and I can confidently swipe left.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:29 AM
9

It doesn’t matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 09:56 AM
22

Well, people at the barbecues would have been right. Good riddance of bad rubbish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:45 AM
76

WTF, he was forbidding you to buy your own house??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:31 AM
45

Try not to convey any views about casual sex when being curious about their experiences. The type of men as described in the article will perceive it as a favourable view and will brag openly before you know it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 08:28 AM
4

None of the dogs I’ve had would have ever dreamed of peeing indoors.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:17 AM
7

They’re all drinking from his toilet 🤮🤮🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 04:15 AM
20

That’s all Tinder men in the ~40 age group.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:16 PM
8

I love Ken Page’s Deeper Dating podcast, where he talks about relationships of inspiration and relationships of deprivation. Relationships of inspiration inspire you with their kindness, availability (emotional and physical), empathy, reliability, dependability, connectedness etc. etc. I highly recommend the podcast and the book.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:12 PM
20

Also, the vast majority of child abuse cases don’t get “substantiated”, which doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, but that the system is fucked and demands things like physical evidence, meaning that a four year old only has hours to muster up their courage to tell, and it also requires a clear timeline of events from the said four year old. And then it says that the child isn’t credible due to their age 🤮 There are plenty child abusers walking around and laughing, and forever getting away with it. T…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 10:03 PM
23

Why on earth would you need a credit card if you don’t need to buy anything in credit? I’m very anti-credit. If you can’t afford it outright, you don’t need it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 01:36 PM
13

💯 On my dating profile I say that my working day involves a lot of responsibility and I want someone who can take care of me and generally take over in the evenings and on weekends. What’s wrong with men who think that because you have a job with a lot of responsibility, you’ll want to do some more of it after you clock off?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 03:48 AM
2

Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:54 AM
2

I think anything is a fair game for them. They might rephrase, might repeat, the goal is to mirror what they think are your emotions and thoughts so that you end up thinking they’re just like you (and we all like people who validate our views and feelings) so that they can get whatever they want from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 02:52 AM
2

I would probably need a book, not a post to write this 😆 One most obvious would be them feeding your words back to you. They watch your body language, make assumptions about what you’d like to hear and give them right back. For example, one guy wanted my pity about a family member who died (he had nothing to do with that member and I knew the back story). I asked him whether he was affected by this and he grabbed it and ran with the story, making up so much detail including being with the person…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 10:24 PM
7

25 is not an age to be married.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:24 AM
164

I like how you call him “a family member”. 😘
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:12 AM
35

Fucking hell. The next thing he’ll be doing is buying himself a fine bone china plates with gilt cutlery and a nice large bed, while getting her a crockery set from Target and an old mattress on the floor cause “he deserves that”. What a trash.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 06:09 AM
107

There’s a type of bird, called wood grouse. When it’s singing its mating song, it can’t hear anything else. Or should I say “he”, since it’s the male that does that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 05:07 AM
2

Lots of similar stories and written way better than I ever could in Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:38 PM
10

I think you can’t win either way. We did draw the short straw in this respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:18 PM
12

🤣🤣🤣 A very fucking exhausting one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 12:10 PM
24

Texting isn’t much of a communication though, seeing that 70% of our communication is said to be non-verbal.... So we’re missing out on 70%, and probably even more, because the spontaneity is lost, they can take their time to think and give you the answer that you want, and not the one you’d hear (and see and smell) if they were in front of you. Tapping buttons is easy. Finding time, coming up with date ideas, being totally present and vulnerable with a another person isn’t.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 09:46 AM
17

Haha, is that a staffy? I’ve got one too, he generally farts a lot more when stressed out, so it makes sense 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:59 AM
35

In my current job I’ve had to deal with men/adolescents with “sociopathic traits” (A.K.A. sociopaths) and the Dark Triad (google it, it’s fascinating and terrifying), who derive enjoyment from rape including that of much younger/disabled and otherwise leas able individuals, physical violence and terrorising those who are unfortunate enough to love them, just for fun. Because I’m not in any sort of personal relationship with them and they’re already in the system where I can get tons of informati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:50 AM
7

OMG, I’d pay a pretty penny to see their reaction at “what up, motherfucker!” 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:30 AM
19

Don’t beat yourself up though, I think those of us who come from extremely controlling backgrounds often swing to the other extremes, sometimes coming right off the rails before (if we’re lucky and smart enough) striking a happy medium and becoming our authentic selves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:23 AM
16

I’m also curious how it would apply to women who are only interested in other women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:20 AM
12

That’s fascinating! Any chance you could ask your brother for links to those studies where men find out they’re actually rapists?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:18 AM
22

Not to mention a large proportion of women who end up with severe depression or those who hate their disfigured bodies, urinary and faecal incontinence, prolapsed uterus etc. etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:10 AM
84

I’d like to add that while responsiveness to text messaging is important, it’s actually the interactions OUTSIDE the phone that really count. If he’s super responsive via text and sends you long paragraphs, but you see him every couple of weeks, you’re his therapist, not his GF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 06:06 AM
10

You should have responded: “oh, do I look sick?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 01:16 PM
8

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:47 PM
1

Give him a chance to do what? Waste your time knowing that your value systems and goals in life are incompatible? I hate this “gIvE hIm a cHaNcE” BS, I find it insulting in insinuating that I don’t have a developed sense of self and the awareness of what I’m looking for. If you take somebody’s advice, first make sure that this person is living the life you aspire to live, and most of these “advisors” have a long way to go to even catch up with me in many respects, so no, I won’t be “giving him a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 07:12 AM
40

“Walking around” dates?? WTF 🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 12:01 AM
9

There’s a pair of Aussie dating coaches (a husband and wife business) that can sell you “high value banter classes” and would tell you that “Oi” is an amazing opportunity you should snatch. Yes, I’m not making it up. Apparently you can have “high value” and “banter” in one sentence. They advocate that we engage in a back-and-forth thinly veiled insult exchange, thus making ourselves more interesting and finding “exciting” men. I think the kind of guy I want would probably look at this type of me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:49 PM
103

15.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:40 PM
265

Call their mum and ask if they’re allowed out this late.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:20 PM
1

My experience is (and I don’t claim to be a representative sample of society) that while living alone can get a bit lonely sometimes, it’s immeasurably better than living with someone who reminds you with their actions and words that you have lowered your standards and subsequently resenting them and your decision. And most importantly, you can lower every single standard you have and end up dating a chronically unemployed potato whose shoe size is bigger than their IQ, but it won’t lower its’ s…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:15 PM
3

Thank you ☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 11:07 PM
3

You clearly have a gift - a kind and caring heart is rare, please understand that! Don’t stifle it or get embarrassed by it, but rather treat it like a very precious gift and share it only with those who either have proven themselves worthy over multiple times or with those who absolutely need it (children, the elderly, the sick and the homeless and similar).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 03:21 PM
16

It’s a state 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:59 PM
11

Yep, when we don’t say “yes” enthusiastically, we say it resentfully. The “yes” people are some of the angriest ones deep down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:50 PM
6

I’d be suspicious about that odd story about his ex girlfriend’s name - feels like triangulation to me while trying to pass himself off as a saint. The second thing that would bother me would be this “I’m dumb” self-flagellation. Whenever in the past I encountered a guy who’d say such a thing and I’d try to laugh it off or see it as being humble, it would always come to bite be on the ass. Most men are LVM and these LVM are resentful of women whose very existence highlights their perceived short…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:38 PM
8

I’ve just recently found out about negging, and it’s making a lot of sense. I was previously confused why the first message from a guy I’d match with would be an insult. I’d assume he was an asshole on a rampage and would unmatch straight away. Turns out, while my theory was wrong, my actions were right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:26 PM
9

You still can be, trust me 😉 When clients aren’t around, therapists turn into normal humans with views, opinions and feelings!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:03 PM
22

🤣🤣🤣 I would so love this holiday, watching him experience the natural consequences of his actions! 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:22 AM
44

Yep, a bit like hiking up a mountain (I’m an avid mountaineer)- the higher you go, the fewer people you meet. At the bottom it’s all tourists and Instagram posers, shouting, throwing their rubbish around, being rude, then, as you continue up, the contingent changes and gets more sparse. And it’s beautiful at the top! The few people you meet there often match your enthusiasm and share your passion for climbing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:15 AM
7

Just ordered, thanks for recommendation!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:14 AM
18

I’ve looked it up, and it looks like a well-written and a very useful book for those who can’t tell the difference between their anxiety pangs and their gut instinct, i.e., me. I’ve just ordered it from Amazon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 08:13 AM
3

I’m also still figuring out this app, but I think I was replying to you about driving away and laughing! 👍🏻🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 05:59 AM
7

This has made my day 🤣You badass woman!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/20 02:51 AM
1

I see!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:19 PM
2

I know exactly what you’re saying, but the rebel in me would have still flashed a confident smile at him and said that. It would have sent him so many messages he wouldn’t have liked: that you’re unapologetic, that he’s an ass for trying to put you down after you’ve just made yourself vulnerable with him, that he sucks in bed etc...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:18 PM
2

Absolutely. I think this topic has been discussed in various threads in FDS, and I will add to the chorus of voices: they want you to be intelligent enough to understand the topics they talk about and admire their intelligence, but not MORE intelligent than them and definitely not challenge their opinions with informed arguments, which makes for a good debate when both people are reasonably secure. My last ex was highly intelligent and knowledgeable in many areas, but not all and would get terri…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:13 PM
4

Like it’s a bad thing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 12:19 PM
17

I keep getting told by friends that my standards are unrealistic, because I want a guy who’s achieved at least as much as me in the main areas of life. How is that unrealistic, if I did it, all by myself, not helped by anyone? I’d rather stay single rather than mother some trash again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 12:00 PM
35

He wants you to take time off from YOUR holiday to fly to his doorstep, quarantine for two weeks at both ends (that’s probably all or most of your annual leave), risk your life to entertain him? How does he imagine you’ll get a border pass? Lie and risk fine/prosecution? Gobsmacking audacity. I do love an intelligent man, and law is certainly a very exciting profession to be in, but it also attracts a good deal of sociopaths. Beware.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 11:30 AM
22

My friend keeps harping on about He’s Not That Into you and how it should be every woman’s manual. I personally think that this film (and most romcoms) are insulting to women’s intelligence. The main character is so needy, desperate and her attempts at bagging a guy (any guy) are cringeworthy. She is absolutely two-dimensional, has no depth or any other goals in life. And she continuously gets mansplained by this revolting dude. The moral of the film? The message that was recycled ad nauseam thr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 05:12 AM
20

Why block out the harasser’s name? Name, shame and report.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 04:25 AM
2

Hope he’s been reported to the police? If it looks like it’s purposeful, it’ll likely be seen as an attempted murder with his car as a weapon.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:09 AM
1

When/if you physically move away from him, your recovery will start picking up speed. This will also be a very vulnerable time for you (even if you feel great and empowered), and you’ll have to use all the resources you’ve got (FDS, a survivor’s support group, friends and family you trust) to establish yourself without falling prey to sociopaths and abusers, who look and target vulnerable women. Once you complete that stage, all those memories that bother you will sink into deep past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 08:07 AM
2

Thank you, that was quite something to get over, since I never thought I’d have to deal with an overwhelming sense of disgust when ending a relationship. Also, I was extremely lucky and didn’t catch anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/20 07:59 AM
2

What’s a daily extend? I use Bumble, but not aware of what this means. Mind you, I’ve been on it probably for six months and only had about two matches, cause it’s unpopular in my neck of the woods, and I don’t really like anyone on it- they just look so dull.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:55 PM
41

Men go to frightening lengths, including potential death just to “show women their place”. I had men with 4x4 suddenly pull into the middle of the motorcycle group I was riding in, when he realised it was a women’s group. The dude was laughing like a madman, when several of us had to break suddenly and literally narrowly escaped death. It was so disturbing, and I also felt terrible for the woman who was his passenger and clearly did not share his sentiment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:14 PM
9

Yeah, but that costs money and the staff there don’t provide the kicks of genuinely being frightened by lewd shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:04 PM
40

It gets better. I gathered from your posts that you’re still very young (younger than me anyway). Trust me, it does get better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:55 PM
86

That makes me terribly sad for you 😞 Lots of love to you. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 12:16 PM
9

They’d make up any old shit - don’t look for any logic in the “logical” gender’s statements. When I dumped one such dude after a year of a “relationship” on the day I found out he spent having unprotected sex with at least 30 women and documenting it in his photos and messages nonetheless, he got sniffly and told me he loved me. I asked him how did the think it was going to go, with him banging away strangers, and he said “just because you love someone, doesn’t mean you want to be with them”. Ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 09:38 AM
10

Eva’s and Beyoncé’s squeezes look like they’re homeless. It’s true that one’s lifestyle with all its vices catches up with one’s appearance. And that money can’t buy style or class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 10:32 PM
19

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 09:26 AM
17

Just to clarify - men’s reproductive ability goes down with age just like women’s does. Not a very popular fact, but a medical one nonetheless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 10:19 PM
6

That’s hilarious - this dude’s stage name means “little dick” in a certain language...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 12:07 PM
2

I’m lucky, where I am it’s not so bad and we’re not in lockdown. For now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 03:27 AM
33

Because of this sub, I’ve recently started taking myself on dates recently. I love my own company a lot anyway, but in the past I felt stupid/guilty about going out for a nice cafe lunch on my own on a Sunday, even if I had to be in a trendy part of town for a massage or similar. I’d just get into my car and drive straight back home. Now I make a day out of It - I wear something nice, get a massage, walk around the area and take myself for a really really nice lunch, watch people go by and then …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:35 AM
4

No struggles, create a burner email or IG account and send the screenshots to whomever you need to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:30 AM
4

Haha, don’t you delete and reinstall apps when they start acting up? Any apps - Facebook messenger, Instagram, work email etc. When you reinstall, you just have to sign in again, and it’s all there as before. Same with Tinder. Your Facebook doesn’t get deleted just cause you reinstall the app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 11:21 AM
1

Hahah, cold hearted!!! 🤣🤣🤣 Love it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:54 AM
2

My pleasure. Therapists are human and not infallible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:47 AM
1

Exactly! Although keep an eye on yourself and your desires. It’s easy to get tangled up in a useless situationship, when you feel like closeness/intimacy/romantic interest is missing in your life in general. Maybe see where else those needs could be met?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 10:46 AM
22

As another poster said, you’ve got this post up where you’re talking about how much you’re attracted to this boss guy, hence the unfavourable evaluation of his wife as your competitor. She is NOT your competitor, and you are not hers, you can do better than dance a “pick me” dance for some guy, who, given his age and your relatively young age, knows full well the effect he’s having on you and enjoying that bit of control.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:33 AM
8

🤣🤣🤣🤣 Screaming!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 08:00 AM
3

Not really a sub, but a women’s FB group run by a youngish married couple, which already introduces a weird dynamic of having one dude amongst thousands of women. Usually he doesn’t have anything clever to contribute, and sometimes his answers are downright dangerous, like suggesting a young woman she apologises to some dude who broke up with her since she didn’t put out as quickly as he wanted. They claim that HVM/HVW are their patent terminology. The woman also encourages 50/50 paying on dates…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 03:15 PM
1

Why’s that? I’ve been there once at night as a tourist, but remember struggling to park the car because of the amount of other visitors...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:59 PM
6

Regarding therapists siding and being naive - I’ve worked with child abusers sent into therapy by court, with absolutely no doubt of their crimes, and had therapists believe that they’re just lovely people, who’ve made some mistakes in the past. Meanwhile, as it turned out later, the abusers continued trying to groom little kids while still in therapy, and got caught for that, yet you have a therapist getting terribly offended when the state decides that it’s time to stop paying for the useless …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:48 PM
2

Can someone send this thread to the woman asking AITA?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:28 PM
3

What is it with goddamn “bAnTeR”??? I hate this word, it’s typically used by knuckle draggers, with a shoe size exceeding their IQ, yet it seems to have permeated the online dating world. There’s even a pair of online dating coaches that use “high value banter” and will sell lessons to you that will improve your pickmeisha ways, to be the best at taking dumb insults and pretending that you like them by returning some of your own or scripted by this pair. I do not like “bAnTeR” - I may enjoy bein…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 02:13 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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