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SwamiSweatSocks Archive

View 16 posts and 368 comments by SwamiSweatSocks on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
65

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men16/12/21 07:24 PM
32

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 03:08 AM
25

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 01:33 AM
24

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 11:10 PM
21

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men12/11/21 09:42 PM
18

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 12:21 AM
18

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men18/12/21 11:10 PM
16

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 10:15 PM
11

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 03:12 AM
8

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 03:56 AM
7

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 11:08 PM
6

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men23/12/21 02:44 AM
6

SwamiSweatSocks/r/MGTOW27/04/21 12:01 AM
6

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 06:59 PM
3

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 07:11 PM
1

SwamiSweatSocks/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 02:35 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
6

Gym. Gym was the best thing in my life for a couple years, five years later I realize no amount of therapy would even come close to the value of a good work out. Bring a friend, make of a routine. It will change your life. More energy, look better (also makes you more conscious of your eating habits).gym that simple
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 05:04 AM
3

Not sexually. Honestly I find my ex unattractive now. But remembering pieces of a past life, little things come up. We traveled a lot so going somewhere I went with her always brings back memories. It makes it challenging to travel since we went just about everywhere you can domestically.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 01:08 AM
2

I remarried after a little over 5 years, married around 20. I still have some moments by my wife is a genuinely good person
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 10:43 PM
12

You gave up years of your life, most likely on someone who didn’t feel the same way about you. It’s tough but scar tissue will form in your memory eventually. It will affect trust in future relationships. I pretty much promise that but you can move on.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 10:19 PM
8

The attorneys want conflict. It ensures billable hours which means a big payday. They know how to play people and get more money with zero care for the person they represent.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:25 PM
16

This is the thing. Don’t get in a serious relationship. Having fun is fine just don’t commit or get used. It’s hard to do honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 01:08 AM
1

Just know when you file the situation becomes adversarial. You can work together and have. A fair close to the marriage, but attorneys DO NOT WANT that. They want one thing, Billable Hours. The best way to do that is through conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 06:18 PM
1

California, they were 10 & 13 at the time
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:37 PM
1

You’ll probably get Tues/Thirs and every other weekend. 1/2 summer maybe
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:09 PM
1

Like 57/43
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 09:08 PM
1

Your problem is she’s in a . Foreign country with “community” money.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/22 02:33 AM
3

She wants the tax deduction and gets it if she gets over 50% custody. She’ll probably getting just over 50% custody which is the default here in California.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 11:00 PM
17

Push for a trial. Be honest with the judge about this being an undue financial burden
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 02:16 AM
5

She is her own person and not who you thought you knew If it involves preventing her tampering with your stuff, get it to the driveway for her to take. She wants to go her own way, IMO she needs to take responsibility for things like moving herself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 11:07 PM
12

Second this. Minimal, necessary contact only. Get the divorce done. I wonder if you may have liability in her lawsuit with her AP as you’re married still so speed it along.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 06:29 PM
6

It helps to get a dog
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:50 AM
5

I waited six months after a 20 year marriage. Probably 1-2 years is better I’d think. Edit: but I was lonely, nice to have someone to warm your bed honestly though
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 02:13 AM
10

A couple things: Vast majority of divorces are initiated by women. And, by the time you know they want a divorce it’s over. They usually are hard set on their decision at that point. You’re young enough to move on, take care of yourself (gym, make money) and never give up on your kids. Also, in the rebound relationship. Been there, done that. If it hadn’t been a rebound the girl I would have dated actually would have been the right one I think. It’s all a learning experience so do date, like a l…
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/22 01:48 AM
16

My ex trashed me to everyone she could. It definitely caused a lot of issues
/r/Divorce_Men23/12/22 03:58 PM
9

Men must insist on pre nuptial agreements before a marriage. And any significant assets should go in a trust if you have them. Even then it’s a crapshoot if the court will be fair.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/22 07:49 PM
4

This is the crap that always happens to men. Women get just over 50% custody all of the time which gives them the tax deduction for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 05:18 PM
5

File for divorce an order in California would mean not travel out of the state until a hearing
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/22 11:32 PM
1

I guess on the positive side, Cambridge dictionary says women can be a man.
/r/MensRights15/12/22 10:37 PM
6

Seriously, don’t let her do crap like that. She filed, she doesn’t love you anymore and has moved on. Break relations except related to the kids and move on. Find someone who loves you for you. Don’t hurry, just date and have fun. You joined a gym which is great.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/22 04:48 PM
6

Holy crap, do we have the same ex wife? My ex kidnapped the kids for Christmas and took the kids out of state at the beginning so f the divorce. She broke two separate orders to do it. I learned very quickly to regularly enforce the custody order. On big things, I would get the police involved. Maybe print the messages she sent along with the custody order, go to the PD and see if they will contact her about this. You could also do an ex-parte but that can get expensive. At the least, I would fi…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 01:47 AM
2

He’s right. You need to get busy! Be super mindful of all communication with your Soon to be ex wife (STBXW), her attorney will want to get a restraining order against you if at all possible, it gives a big advantage in the divorce so watch out! The gloves come off, metaphorically. This isn’t the person you thought you knew and your goal, even if you don’t feel it is to protect yourself. Everyone says join a gym, and they’re right. Find a workout partner it’s 1000x better and more effective then…
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 12:56 AM
5

Get her income imputed! If she is capable of earning more the court will require it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 10:47 PM
3

Get all the custody you can! It makes a huge difference, also whoever gets over 50% gets the IRS write off so they usually give women just over .50%
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 11:48 PM
4

Try and get enough sleep, be aware most judges are extremely lazy and won’t read the filings or watch the video so prepare to testify. Sleep so you’re ready.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:44 AM
2

I believe the parent has first priority in having the child of the other parent can’t be there
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 07:48 PM
3

I had a good relationship 6 months into my divorce. She was pretty amazing but I wasn’t in the right place and it fell apart about a year in. If I had started dating a couple years out of the divorce it would have been different I think.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 06:30 PM
2

Very true. I do, even have a house I’m building with a room for me (I’m renting the other rooms) so I have a backup plan)
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 12:36 AM
0

I am a bit nervous but I think we have a good chance of making it. She’s so different then my ex. I dated a lot after the divorce and seemed to narrow down the right type of woman pretty quickly by playing the field.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 10:16 PM
1

I’m getting married in a few weeks. A bit over five years out. I’m old enough so we won’t have kids in the picture and doing pre-nuptial agreement and a trust as well so if it doesn’t go well this time it won’t be the horrible mess I had last time. I did focus on me over the five plus years, went to the gym and worked a lot. I think it was worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 09:37 PM
7

Congratulations on sock day! Focus on you for a while, if you have extra energy, I recommend putting it towards the gym and into your work. Keeping busy helps a lot I found. Plus I buried myself in work and put myself in a better financial position too.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 08:44 PM
5

I just got out of court myself over child custody issues with my ex. Just know this she says it you say the opposite there’s no evidence, unless there is actual evidence. It’s very very very common for someone to lie to try to gain advantage on things like child custody or money.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/22 04:53 PM
14

When divorce starts, the gloves must come off.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 04:05 AM
1

That’s a shame, if it was good, it could have been sold for scrap value.
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 03:47 AM
2

Maybe it depends on the couple. If they’re poor this probably happens more when the wife says “not in love with you.” My old friend got just a tiny bit of money and bought a car, his wife took the car and immediately left him for someone he knew. He killed himself two years later. My understanding was she did the speech. My ex and I had a bit over a million when she left me. She did a lot of maneuvering to steal from the community, moved money to her mom’s probate (my ex was extremely impoverish…
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 07:39 PM
4

I think most women talk to other divorcee women, get promised they’ll get big bucks but they have to do a sneak attack. Same with the attorneys they then get referred to. The point is to have every possible advantage in the divorce and not allow the man to prepare.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 07:04 PM
4

They do regularly threaten her with arrest and I generate incident reports for the court. It’s helpful because she sometimes complies and it lets her know I mean business.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 11:45 PM
6

I will add I did try being nice in the beginning but learned it made her even more aggressive
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 11:10 PM
2

I met some guy who met. Young woman in Bali and was selling all his stuff to move there permanently after his divorce. Maybe find another woman to keep your bed warm through the end?
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 06:06 AM
1

Me too!
/r/MensRights15/11/22 10:35 PM
3

Pick your fights for effect. Sometimes slow response is better. Prep on your end but don’t spend too many attorney hours until you start getting close to a hearing. Otherwise they’ll empty your account incredibly fast.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 09:59 PM
2

Looks like if you don’t comply( either party) this document Texan be filed instead. Probably something like a transfer of a deed, car title, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 11:40 PM
2

Half of what she saved for (pad) her retirement account should be yours, you should get a few years of alimony since she earns a lot more. Go for 50/50 custody and child support, it’s fair. Also get an attorney!
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 03:13 AM
3

Honesty is Extremely hard to come by with family law.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 05:34 PM
3

I mean you could move to some Third World hell hole after she gets pregnant as long as you plan on never coming back
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 07:18 PM
4

Get a dog
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 02:03 PM
67

Also, you can put property (like real estate in a trust), but get a prenup too. More layers=more defense
/r/MensRights18/10/22 12:22 AM
3

I’m at 5 years, still pains me sometimes but probably the first couple of years are the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/22 07:45 PM
2

I would think a divorce attorney that represents women as well may have some sort of bias against men they represent after repeatedly claiming women are always victims.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 08:07 PM
6

You’d be surprised “what’s possible “
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 09:45 PM
4

Get a lawyer. She probably can’t leave the state.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 11:53 PM
6

I’m just waiting on women getting into construction, especially doing piece work where you’re paid for what you accomplish. Something completely objective. Build five set of stairs, get paid for five sets of stairs. Still waiting for the most part.
/r/MensRights08/09/22 04:53 AM
3

Law enforcement of sue doesn’t turn over the kids, then on to the judge if it continues. Keep a copy of the order regarding kids with you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/22 06:59 PM
2

Holy crap! Same issue with a 15 year old daughter. She changes into the dark person when she is at moms. Now she’s refusing to come to my house. I’m only in 5 years and 70,000 into the legal fight.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/22 12:33 AM
3

You can’t have legal custody if she gets a permanent restraining order against you, at least in California. This gives her a huge advantage, also, if she earns more, no alimony for you, plus the court then sees you as an abuser and her a victim for the entire process. Nothing good for you comes out of it. Get a good attorney, there are a lot of really bad ones, the least qualified/successful attorneys seem to go to this area of law so look carefully.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 03:32 PM
4

No idea. Women usually are favored by the courts though, by a large margin
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 03:29 PM
3

The first hearing should be the TRO. I can’t stress it is the most important hearing of the divorce. This needs attention and serious resources, she wins the divorce and everything if she gets a regular restraining order
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 03:27 PM
2

Deny it unless it is absolutely undeniably true and can be proven
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 05:17 AM
1

It’s called alimony/child support and it only works one way!
/r/MensRights03/09/22 11:35 PM
2

Also is you file an automatic restraining order is placed on both parents preventing them from taking them out of state. File quick and get her served!
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 08:21 PM
2

Also watch your butt, a common strategy is the restraining order to get control of the kids and make sure she gets the most alimony/child support.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/22 08:20 PM
1

My ex announced to my daughter she was getting married to her live in boyfriend, then told my daughter (my ex is mid 40’s) she miscarried her live-in boyfriend‘s kid. I’m pretty sure she had tried many times over the past few years. Shortly after she filed a motion in court basically to take away my daughter entirely from me Then she started spending lots of money on my daughter and setting up big things during the time she’s supposed to be with me to try to entice her away
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 02:44 PM
2

We both go to church together so it’s more of a religious thing honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 05:35 AM
10

I went through something similar to OP. Suddenly being left after 20 years of marriage. I am getting married next year, about five years after the divorce. I dated a lot, had fun but this time around We just clicked. She gives me so much. We’re both old enough kids won’t be an issue (thank God) for us. We are doing it right, pre-nuptials and putting our respective properties in a trust. If things fail we’re practically pre-divorced. The relationship is about having fun and being as right as we c…
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 02:59 AM
26

My ex hit me repeatedly in front of the kids once. I just took it. Was pretty useless per my attorney because we had argued before she hit me. Apparently if a man argues with a woman and she hits him, it is allowed.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 12:50 AM
2

Just get a locksmith
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 01:38 AM
17

Imagine a world where it’s okay to hate you because you were: Born white (not a choice) Male (regardless of what progressives say, not a choice) Christian (yes the only choice here, but protected under the constitution) It just kills me how messed up the United States is allowing this, funding this.
/r/MensRights11/08/22 05:04 PM
25

Does my heart good to see this. There is one thing OP said her ex husband told her, and it is very true: “once trust is broken there is no foundation .” I would never go back to my ex, ever for this very reason. I never tried “patching it up” after she left me, she napalmed that bridge.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 10:47 PM
1

I didn’t have quite the assets but a lot. Things get nasty REALLY quickly in a divorce. Attorneys for your stbx will make promises of more money if she just keeps fighting. Get your financials in order. Debts/assets. My divorce ran about $120k for both sides. Expect things to get dirtier and meaner then you would ever believe possible. She may be thinking and planning the same thing (divorce) and getting ready to so, so be prepared, it never hurts even if you reconcile. The court has a fairly st…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 09:43 PM
5

I am doing a prenup and set up a trust, myself. We both have assets, it isn’t that I don’t trust her or she me it’s just if things go wrong and they do.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 07:48 PM
1

If she’s selling it to the dealership is she getting what it’s worth? Dealers usually give a salvage type value to trade in cars. Look at Kelly blue book private party value, if her number is way under this then I would fight it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 07:22 PM
3

If you have the money, put your stuff into a storage unit except what you must have to live on if she wants to damage your belongings, or take them to a family members house. My ex tried breaking in because I had documents showing she tried to steal money from the community by hiding it. Fortunately I changed the locks.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 05:20 PM
3

Met a guy who divorced and moved to Bali, met a young woman there and seemed super happy about leaving. He had come back to sell his stuff and leave for good.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 09:34 PM
2

I know, total crap that women get away with so much. Two women in my kids high school both had sex with students, at least one of the two is eligible to get her credential back to teach kids again...
/r/MensRights29/07/22 03:40 AM
1

Could you file a response and include what was said during the conversation (short key points), lodge the audio take and have your attorney question you (and her) on the stand?
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 12:07 AM
5

At least they suspended her teaching credential! That will teach her!
/r/MensRights28/07/22 09:43 PM
6

I’ve seen Junior. If Arnold swartzanegar can do it…
/r/MensRights14/07/22 05:25 PM
1

Stop communicating with her you’re wasting your time only answer things if the court requires it and your attorney will let you know
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 02:57 PM
2

Numbers must be in a different dollar amount the the US dollar. I don’t think a regular system would be more then $10,000 US dollars even for something really special I don’t think residential would hit that price unless there is some amazing challenges or complexity
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 01:29 AM
1

A buyer can get financing with home repair loan, I think it may be under FHA or HUD, check with a realtor, it can be sold but the buyer would have to fix it to insure it. How in the world is a heat pump system so much? Is it a regular system? How big is the house?
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 01:19 AM
2

Damn, sounds like my ex
/r/Divorce_Men12/07/22 11:42 PM
18

Yep, plus more sex
/r/Divorce_Men07/07/22 06:23 PM
8

My ex re married (thank God!) and just a couple years away from the kids being adults. I have a custody hearing scheduled in August. Only five years for me. The crap never ends, I wouldn’t be surprised if I ended up in court with her after they’re adults, she likes to fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 11:39 PM
5

Usually standard formula for alimony. I’m not sure if yours falls into a long term marriage or not, either 1/2 the time or basically forever unless she gets married
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 02:44 PM
2

Do you have a court order? Some say if they stay x days elsewhere she has to give you info on who she’s staying with/where or if she’s leaving the state. Read your custody order. Know it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/22 03:00 AM
1

Watch yourself, exactly this. False accusations. My ex kept my kids away from with fri 17 days with a. Temp restraining order, it has never been peaceful with her though, not for a minute.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 03:16 AM
10

My ex wife is trying to separate me from my kids now that she got married. It’s a. Common thing to want to get the ex out of your life and create a new “family”. I’m in about $12,000 in court fees so far and It’s been five years since we divorced. Watch your butt.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:14 AM
1

Did you file for divorce before she used the credit cards?
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:08 AM
40

I think this should be pinned to the top for this group.
/r/MensRights17/06/22 03:43 PM
42

I think this should be pinned to the top for this group.
/r/MensRights17/06/22 03:43 PM
120

I think this should be pinned to the top for this group.
/r/MensRights17/06/22 03:43 PM
73

Domestic Violence is heavily abused in the courts by women to gain a financial advantage in court proceedings.
/r/MensRights16/06/22 06:42 PM
3

What you inherited from your parents typically isn’t community property. The longer your married the more alimony. You might only have to pay a couple years right now.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/22 03:48 PM
1

Yep, my first time was probably 8 months after my divorce began, it really helped me through the divorce but didn’t work out - it ended after a year
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/22 04:04 PM
18

I guess I dont see the harm in letting the ex fill the need assuming she will and you're on good terms. I mean, if you trust her to tell you if she's been sleeping around before she exposes you to something, let her take care of you. Mind you, my ex and I consider sex to be the best part of our former relationship and she's willing so why not let her catch the D and pickup the CS? I've made it very clear that the moment it's no longer about just sex then I want nothing to do with her anymore - s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 05:31 AM
2

This is gold!
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 04:04 PM
6

Here in California usually they give you a cheap consult fee like $150 or $75 then make the big sales pitch of how they can “help” you, get your deposit and then mostly ignore you when you call, all for the low price for $450/hr plus &175 for paralegal fees.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 09:58 PM
12

This is a common tactic playing victim, trying to gain control of a divorce early on. She is probably working the kids to try and get them to testify against you. You need a high quality lawyer, some are complete garbage so make sure you have an A quality one or you’re screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 09:52 PM
3

So much cheaper then dating… but if you want a real relationship you won’t find satisfaction from a single time
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 06:39 PM
0

Get a locksmith
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 05:49 PM
15

The system and the divorce industry is complete crap. I think government marriages should end and only private groups should issue marriage certificates for whatever you believe in, churches, clubs, your favorite food place but whatever the issuer the only power if there is a divorce is withing that organization, like say you divonce and they kick you put of the church or something. Not take your future earning and give it to someone else who doesn't want to work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 03:00 AM
6

It's nice to hear a guy got a fair deal. Such a rare thing!
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/22 05:21 PM
1

I second that courts don't care about cheating. If she is for instance , cheating with someone with a history of say child molestation or violent felonies that would be worth bringing up in court. Run a background check on the guy of you can I'd suggest. You never know what type of person They ares leeping with another man's wife.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/22 05:13 PM
4

About two months after my ex left me, I found out an old friend from high school killed himself. His wife had left him about two years before and he was heartbroken. I knew I didn't want to let my divorce affect me like that. I have been through times of hell personally, the fighting was just simply unbelievable with my ex wife during the divorce. It's been over four years since the divorce began, it took two years to be divorced and in the two since I have been doing a lot of healing. I've been…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 04:10 PM
2

Maybe try couples counseling but it sounds like there is something really wrong with her. It may be better for you to end it then be treated like that.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 06:51 PM
9

I did see a South Park Episode where not holding them in was the cause of global warming.
/r/MensRights06/04/22 09:32 PM
3

just have to file and be absolutely ready to provide documentation on who spent what nights where. I'd go so far as to also include Google location history for kids have phones of any sor This is the way. You are custodial parent if the kids spent the majority of nights at your house.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 05:30 PM
2

Ask for her to repay you any extra payments you made after she got rid of the car.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/22 03:44 AM
5

With the way used cars are valued these days she may be able to pull it off.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 04:56 PM
3

here isn’t a timeline in place for her to retitle the loan, there should be. Shouldn’t take her longer than 30 days to refinance. Add a caveat if she doesn't take care of it in a certain number of days, the car can be sold by the court.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 03:40 PM
2

https://www.ocdivorce.net/articles/can-a-trust-protect-assets-in-a-california-divor/#:~:text=In%20California%2C%20trusts%20established%20before,in%20the%20event%20of%20divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 02:49 PM
5

Look into setting up a living trust. The property is a separate legal asset from my understanding.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 12:09 AM
15

Protective Orders are the standard used by women seeking an advantage in a divorce. They get a major advantage in the divorce using custody to increase things like child support and the kids simply become pawns. I hate to say it but lawyer up. BE SUPER CAREFUL in selecting a lawyer, there are a lot of lousy lawyers out there that went to tier 3 or even non-tiered schools yet charge hundreds an hour while giving you terrible representation. It helps to meet with several of them first, also it doe…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/22 12:23 AM
3

tart with DNA, STD tests, and talk to a lawyer to start working on a exit plan. when you do file, don’t leave the house no matter what she says, it could put you on the hook for abandonment. ask your lawyer what steps you can take to protect yourself while you’re there and make an area of the house your fortress. I second, STD testing would be wise. At this point start thinking of yourself separately from her. She's broken you trust and once that happens, it is over with the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:43 PM
1

I'm okay with a prenup.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 12:13 AM
5

Sort of. My daughter is just below the age they generally listen to the kids. Another 6 months an it would be all good.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 04:55 PM
9

No, never had, never would have. But this is one of those things where it's child custody and doesn't have anything to do with a relationship that ended about six years ago if you include a dead bedroom and an absent wife for the last year we were "together".
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 03:12 AM
1

I dealt with death, it was easier than divorce honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 02:46 AM
1

My ex is as miserable as she was in the marriage, just much wealthier now. I am much happier now than I ever was, just a tad bit poorer. It was worth it! I am you on a smaller scale. Net worth had just broken the million mark when she left/ DV restraining order. I got kicked out of a house I owned 75% of (1/2 was in my parents name). I was about 65k into the divorce fight, still having custody fight 4.5 years in but it is small potatoes compared to before. Dating a business executive that makes …
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 07:41 PM
2

The situation is different for everyone Do you have kids, assets? Long term marriage? Are you a high earner and have a stay at home wife? Contested divorce? A lot of considerations. Try starting with an attorney consult is my suggestion.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 05:54 PM
4

My ex left me and filed a restraining order the year we crossed the one million threshold. I totally see the part with becoming millionaires and her leaving.
/r/MensRights09/03/22 06:38 PM
2

Pretty sure. There was a day she wasn't sure she took it. It's a known issue for the pill she was taking. Anyway it was pretty traumatic for her, and me.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 05:34 PM
3

I had a close call with a girl after the divorce. She had an ectopic pregnancy because she didn't take birth control right. Too close.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 04:56 PM
1

Also, if you sourced the money to buy the house from selling a house you had before the marriage, you may be able to argue that wasn't a marital asset. You probably won't get it all but she shouldn't be getting non marital assets.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/22 05:49 PM
2

I hold my own income wise, it just makes it incredibly difficult to go after me for support when she's making the same as me.
/r/MensRights28/02/22 04:25 PM
2

Dude, been on a similar place. Women get together and scheme for a divorce and financial strategy. My ex went after me and ended up getting about $3 to every $1 I got from the divorce. I worked my butt off after the divorce and now I have some money she's after me again on child custody trying g to take custody away from me and then come back and get child support.. It just never ends, divorce is just legal keys to your wallet and the motivation to get that easy money is so severe that it turns …
/r/MensRights28/02/22 04:15 PM
4

I did my first dating 6 months after the divorce began. She would have been a good one, it lasted a year and ended after the divorce finalized because really it was me not ready for a relationship.. Dated ever since and am probably on #10 four years in. It's all fun, just expensive. I do think there is no one size fits all, I have two teens myself and it's easier because they're gone 1/2 time.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/22 05:46 AM
5

You did well! I'm just over 4 years and am still fighting with the Ex over child custody and they're almost grown up. Why do some women just live to fight? I never talk to her except directly about the kids on the court app yet still she wants to fight. I hope the court sets her straight this time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/22 04:29 PM
6

Mostly this. I date, longest has been a year or so then break up and on to the next one. I always hope, this will be the one when dating but it is kind of like the old comics where Lucy holds up a football for Charlie Brown to kick, always promising this time it isn't a trick and she'll pull away at the last moment.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/22 05:48 PM
6

Woo hoo! Awesome! Good win!
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:17 AM
1

I found myself a bit numb dating after my divorce. I kind of screwed up, because the first woman I dated would have been the right one but I found myself in the wrong headspace for dealing with her. I enjoy the attention though so I keep dating and found the current one a little over four years out from the divorce. I don't know what to say other then the first year isn't the best for dating and honestly until the ink is dry on the divorce being final I don't know if I'd date before that had I d…
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/22 02:00 AM
3

If it reached that point, you did the right thing!
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/22 06:54 PM
1

Updates? Ho a did it go?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/22 11:39 PM
2

You eventually get through it. Also, dating again, while it sucks in general is a nice diversion, better then work at least (but wait some time before you to).
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 09:42 AM
1

I agree, I've dated probably too many women si ce thw divorce. I still do t think the worst one I've dated comes even close to how awful my ex is to me. Not much longer until the kids grow up though so this nightmare will be over.
/r/MensRights01/01/22 09:06 AM
1

Not really. I went through a nasty divorce, was raped by many people (lawyer, judge, ex-wife and now back to another custody battle where I'm going to be raped financially again. So even years out my ex can make a bullshit. claim by typing it out on A piece of paper taking maybe 20 minutes and I have to Spend thousands proving she's a liar and she has no consequences for her lies. I'm oretty far from okay. How are you?
/r/MensRights01/01/22 08:54 AM
0

Okay I know this is I appropriate but I just pass up a chance to tell an inappropriate joke: Why is it whe a woman sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut, but when a guy does it, it makes him gay, very gay? I am a Massoginistic pig, by the way..
/r/MensRights01/01/22 08:42 AM
1

I'm in process of getting affidavits.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 02:03 PM
1

I wish I could go into detail here but find it unwise just in case she finds this account.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 02:02 PM
3

I haven't had a verbal conversation with her for years. Everything is documented on the court app. I have gone out of my way to only discuss essential items about the kids. I hated knowing I have to pull out the big guns though. I'm worried she's going to flip out when she finds out I know some things she did and have witnesses. It's going to be very ugly in court.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/21 06:44 AM
59

Abuse can come in many forms like disagreeing on letting her spending all the money rather then paying the bllis for instance...
/r/MensRights28/12/21 08:45 AM
3

Clearly the "equity" woke mob haven't read this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/21 05:17 PM
6

I worked my butt off for two years after the divorce finalized and I have another two years of hard work ahead of me. I still won't be quite caught up with where I was before the divorce, but it feels good to have some level of security and honestly theres a big empty place left from my ex leaving me for another man (20 year marriage). So I fill the empty with work and gym for now. Even if it doesn't fix things, when things do come back together I'll be in decent shape both physically and financ…
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/21 12:33 AM
2

Wow that really hits home.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/21 07:09 AM
5

I don't think that's what this sub is about. Split fairly, make sure you get 50/50 custody if you have kids and go on with your life. It's a pretty awful, unfair process, true. Courts get really angry if you try anything sneaky and it then goes very badly for you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/21 02:42 AM
2

Or start a new career as a McDonald's cashier for a year or so... it's your true aspiration until the divirce...
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/21 12:05 AM
3

You're treading on dangerous water. Her attorney or her divorcee friends may have advised her to get a restraining order against you to gain an advantage in the divorce. She may be trying to set up a "fight" in order to get the police out and have a report done. You may want to get cameras in the house to record things if legal.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/21 08:48 PM
3

My guess it the community funds that were used for the mortgage and paid down the loan could be recovered (what was paid down on the mortgage). Since it was a new mortgage it probably won't amount to much.
/r/Divorce_Men16/12/21 05:53 PM
2

Try getting her to a mediator. They push both parties to compromise, no one is happy so it's usually fair. Don't settle for less than 50/50 custody!!!
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/21 06:50 PM
7

EPIC!
/r/Divorce_Men09/12/21 01:46 AM
2

I know from personal experience women don't get reported. It's excusable supposedly because they're smaller, weaker so they can pretty much do what they want with impunity.
/r/MensRights06/12/21 07:49 PM
6

I just want to say I absolutely feel what you're saying. It sucks being used and being slandered all for the sake of an advantage in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/21 05:34 AM
2

Congratulations!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 09:01 PM
8

You did it right!
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/21 07:46 AM
10

Been already doing that. My kids will have an excellent Christmas this year. I'm far enough out of the divorce I can spend a bit on them again. It has been a slow, painful process to get here. Even dating a much younger woman. God they love a guy with a little money, but not going down the marriage path again unless I have a pre nuptual agreement and that won't be anytime soon.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 08:56 PM
5

I spent months working on financial docs. In the end I was screwed and cheated anyway. It may help, but mostly to know how much was stolen from you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/21 07:26 PM
3

Haha my ex said I made no money too. It's hilarious because she didn't understand how my building houses made money because they didn't show up as weekly paychecks. I love how they say thi go like you refuse to work when you're working 70+ hours a week a lot of the time. I just don't get it. She left with her new car and bought a couple of houses with theoney Iade her. Seriously, You Can Recover. It took me a few years but I'm well on my way to being where I was at prior to the divorce. It just …
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 04:55 PM
9

I thinking get a bunch of STD's if I got with my ex. I'd pass. Besides new girls all the time and they're not crazy like her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/21 12:03 AM
1

There should be "extremely expensive e" and "bought my lawyer a new porche" as answers.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/21 11:17 PM
53

I teacher at Beaumont High School in 2017 in Beaumont, CA had sex with her student. No prison time and SHE'S ELIGIBLE to get her teaching license back!!! https://www.pe.com/beaumont-high-teacher-pleads-guilty-to-sex-with-student-gets-4-years-probation
/r/MensRights22/11/21 05:20 PM
1

You're probably going to end up in court sometime. Get documented evidence of her behavior. Does she have a psychiatric history? Are there witnesses that can go on the stand and testify for you? I have no idea the rules there for video recording so be careful with that but it may be an option. If it's just your word against hers that can be a problem. If you separate and have to meet with her, make sure others are present, public place meeting maybe with security cameras like the court house. Wa…
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/21 05:09 PM
13

I'd just like to say maybe a woman gets $0.71 for each $1.00 I earn, but that only leaves me $0.29.
/r/MensRights20/11/21 06:15 PM
9

Once someone referred to this as a "transactional relationship" when a woman sees she's getting things she wants, money, sex, etc all is good but if you don't produce or there is another potential "transaction'" that is more appealing even after many years of marriage it's buh bye and now I want alimony, child support, I'm a victim and so long.
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/21 05:09 PM
1

Depending on custody, could you rent a room in town?
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 11:03 PM
-7

To celebrate, Kyle Rittenhouse was exonerated!!! Woo hoo!
/r/MensRights19/11/21 09:03 PM
1

I spent over 50k. If mediation is an option go for it!
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/21 07:43 PM
18

Are there incident reports for the call? Go to the police station and get copies of everything you can.
/r/MensRights18/11/21 04:35 PM
16

If you're miserable the sooner you cut her off the shorter the alimony she will likely get for the short term marriage. The longer you wait, the opposite. She already sees how much money she gets from making babies and living the good life on that money.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 07:37 PM
2

I spent over $50k in court so it's also incredibly expensive.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/21 05:23 PM
3

I lots 50k just on my attorney fees. My ex spent more.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 09:46 PM
14

Holy crap! I thought I lost a lot losing 600k from the divorce. It sucks how clear marriage is a transactional relationship. Once they see something newer/shinier/richer it's good bye, see-ya! Still, I probably wouldn't pass up a good opportunity to date a woman, it's just the legal contract to me that has become a major issue.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 06:51 PM
1

I imagine if your picture showed the toilet stalls, the tile walls would be splattered with brown chili sauce.
/r/MensRights15/11/21 06:35 PM
2

Wow! I have my kids half the time, thank God! He really brings to life how hard it can be. I have a hard enough time without my kids for a week, I can't imagine those with even less custody.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 08:33 AM
4

You will eventually find a new purpose. I feel like this sometimes but then think of all the other women I've dated since we divorced. Also, I see pictures of her and see she looks SOOOO much more like her mom since she left me. Maybe I dodged a bullet honestly.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/21 06:24 AM
2

Stanley? You rent a room to help out? It may help on the loan app too.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 05:50 PM
2

You collect and build up incident reports. They also contact the person and try and get them to comply. At least once they threatened to arrest her believe it or not.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/21 05:06 AM
7

Protective order is nearly always step one with divorce attorney for women. It gives them a HUGE advantage in the divorce process. Bring up the death of your uncle in court and ask for a continuance. The temporary order will still stand, but it will give you time to prepare and the PERMANENT order is the holy grail she wants for the divorce. It is an "I'm always a victim" pass and nothing wrong she ever does will EVER be counted against her. See if the video can be/was submitted as evidence. The…
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/21 05:57 PM
1

Four years in. Still argue regularly over the health and safety of my kids when they're with her. It's all on the court app so it has always been legalistic language with the court in mind. I think it will be better in a few years when my youngest turns 18 and I don't have to interact with her anymore. My poor kids though.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 11:52 PM
3

It's helpful I think when they file their restraining order because it looks like they're doing it because if the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/21 02:14 AM
6

They may play it off but they are jealous too. My ex saw me with a girlfriend in my car and chased my several miles in her car once. I just stay away from her as much as possible. I dont think the divorce gave her her dream come true she saw in her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/21 12:56 AM
3

I was advised to get the filing in because if she files for a restraining order after you file it will look like she's trying to take revenge for you filing for divorce. I'm sure it wouldn't hurt.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/21 04:06 PM
6

I second this. Someday you will want the pictures of the kids AND seeing her face won't be as painful when you've moved on.
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/21 07:59 PM
1

You're picking a bad time to move back to California. Rent is incredibly high right now.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/21 03:17 AM
2

Married 20 years. It was the first year or so after waking up repeatedly about 3am and remembering another horrible thing she did and another. Honestly after a few years I really only remember the horrible stuff because there was so much of it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/21 03:10 AM
7

You will eventually stop seeing the marriage through rose colored lenses and see the person, not your idea of that person. My ex wife is one ugly, messed up mean nasty woman. But I didn't see her that way until I let her go as that idealized person who I had unconditional love for after she left me.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/21 04:23 PM
5

I wish I had prepped better for the first hearing for the divorce because I was shocked when she left me (which she carefully planned) and she immediately went on the offensive from day one. It cost me a significant fortune and affected custody because I didn't go on the offensive even though I had some huge things that would have ended her teaching career if I had.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/21 05:16 AM
1

I would definitely ask an attorney. If it is all above board on selling property, maybe... but if the court thinks you're trying to hide assets, it won't go well for you.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 02:49 AM
2

Even if the assets are in his name, it probably won't help IMO if they were purchased during the "marriage" I think they will be community property. If he's been in California long enough, he may be able to file here, there is a standard formula for child support. There may also be alimony but it may only be a few years. It may be advantageous if he files in California for dealing with hearings, but then again maybe not because he may need to pay her attorney fees.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 02:35 AM
2

File for divorce in YOUR state if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/21 02:23 AM
3

You need to see the court order. If it violated it, then you can likely file a contempt of court and ask for sanctions. ​ My ex attacked the process server with her car when she was served the divorce papers, she then went out of state even thought it violated two separate orders. My worthless attorney, without my permission sent an email giving my ex permission to do so or I would have had the police at the place she went to and a number of filing in court. Sometimes attorneys really are awful.…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/21 11:52 PM
3

Just a simple fact. When women reach a point of wanting a divorce, it is over. It will hurt but reconciling is extremely unlikely. File for alimony. If you do reconcile, that's great, BUT just realize that usually you don't get any back compensation until the time you file.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/21 05:12 AM
9

I agree on this so much! My ex was stalking me. Used the kids phones as trackers, but I also suspect installed Audio/Video spy software. She went to my house (which is half an hour away and she had no reason to go there) to slandered me and my fiance at the time to my next door neighbors. I also had an incident where the neighbor chased off a guy trying to break (said hey, what are you doing and he jumped in his car and peeled out down the road.) into my house late one Saturday night. I showed h…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/21 06:26 PM
2

Loneliness. Been there
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/21 03:56 AM
1

Funny thing was my car was salvaged from a wreck before she left me, my car was worth $900 and hers was worth almost 30k. I had to wear a suit from the Salvation Army to my grandfathers funeral for $15 because she’s blow up at me if I spent a cent because I was “stealing” from her. I built and remodeled houses but because they didn’t include a weekly check except for the monthly money coming in from the rentals I made no money per what she said in court and lived off of her. Somehow she took our…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 06:47 PM
3

Congratulations! Please let us know when the temporary order is overturned!!!
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/21 05:30 AM
2

I am now
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 11:03 PM
3

I so wish... my ex and I burned over 50k EACH of my money for the divorce. Honestly I could spend another 50k if I wanted to go back and keep fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 08:06 PM
12

Just a word of warning, a lot of women in their 30's and 40's are major headaches on the dating apps. I've run into those that clearly are in it for the money, some just want free meals and gifts but the worst pretend to care about you because you got out of your marriage with money and income. But do have fun, just beware getting serious. I don't think I'd get serious for at least a couple years minimum because you don't really get to know a person, well ever but at least a good understanding f…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 08:05 PM
7

If she doesn't have income I doubt she'll be able to get a loan to buy out your share based on your possible spousal support payments. She can get something she can afford, say a mobile home and live in that, honestly it should be about you and the kids at this point. She needs to figure her own problems out from now on.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 08:01 PM
8

Just realize she isn't the person you knew. This is now a stranger. Usually women spend a great deal of time trashing you to their divorcee friends and the divorcee friends tell them how to leave you and get the most money along with the lawyers they "consult." Their ultimate tool is pretending to love you until the last second to maximize their money and damage they do to you. It is powerful because you think you still love them and they use that to get more money in court and make you look lik…
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/21 07:58 PM
7

Good luck brother! Pretty similar thing happened to me but she waited a week after my birthday! It was over 21 years together and 20 married for me. Over in a second.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 04:37 AM
8

Sadly, my ex left abruptly too (20 years of marriage with kids). I thought I was being super supportive of her even though I know she had severe mental health issues. I had just turned 42. When a woman makes a decision, usually while deliberating with angry, man hating divorcees she works with, that's it. Game over man. ​ It beyond sucks especially when you're supportive of your ex while she spirals down a hole of mental illness. At least I had practice being alone, she became more and more dist…
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/21 03:31 AM
6

You can try but she's a woman so the courts are always skewed in her favor.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/21 01:24 AM
6

on that. focus on the divorce and making the most of the time you get with your kids. also find ways to keep yourself busy (going to the gym, picking up a hobby and joining a club/class). then when you have the time/means, pick somewhere you either always wanted to visit or haven’t been to in a while, spend a few days there to clear your head. In regards to going somewhere, I would just add don't go somewhere that you've been with your ex. I did a trip with a girlfriend and it totally sucked bec…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/21 07:20 PM
14

Seriously online dating is hell. Most of the women there from my experience are only interested because of your money. You stbxw has a restraining order on you so I would say that ship has sailed. Once someone breaches trust in a relationship, getting it back WILL NEVER HAPPEN. You have to move on. It's really really hard, but the truth. ​ Edit: One note - if you have property while single set up a trust! It's not that hard to do and if you're willing to put in the work there are books out there…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/21 07:19 PM
3

My ex did a last second demand to change pickups to a sketchy area next to a fast food place (lots of homeless and prostitution going on in the same parking lot with a Hotel) I said no, ended up contacting the police and they said do the exchange at the police station. So anyway she kept trying to get me to this sketchy place with 30 minutes notice of the exchange. Finally she comes to the police station and I have the kids in the lobby and starts yelling at me. I only reply “go through the atto…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/21 12:55 AM
3

With my ex wife she was comfortable doing this about a year and a half before she divorced me and me finding out about it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/21 03:02 AM
2

Had a friend who was a month away from divorce being finalized and he was living in a crappy apartment with his mom. She died suddenly of an aneurysm while he had his girls over. Anyway he caved and got back with his wife who was having a lesbian affair and she refused to stop seeing the woman. For whatever reason they're still together a decade later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/21 11:45 PM
3

Add to this list: Diving across the couch like a receiver diving for a football every time her phone would have a text come in and hold it secretly. Making excuses for 2am texts her friend from school "drunk texting" her. Going to parties for school with young single people because "its expected of her to party with them"
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 08:15 PM
2

I have considered doing so. I have my kids every other week so it is a bit hard. When they finish high school it will be different. I did get a two week vacation this summer and did get to travel but I've seen the US several times. I want to go to St. Petersburg for starters.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 07:33 PM
1

I married young. I'm 45.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 04:54 PM
3

They imply. She made money selling puppies and hadn’t had any litters for a while. Then brought up the costs for her divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 02:09 AM
3

I do have a dog. She’s awesome! I don’t know what I’d do without her. I have my kids every other week but they’re in high school and pretty independent.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 02:07 AM
9

Haha so far my only hobby is work. I’ve remodeled five houses in the past two years and am going to build a new one (for me) next. I’ve built one before but never was able to live in it. So there is a reward. I’m thinking of going to law school when I’m done and becoming a fathers rights attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/21 02:05 AM
4

Me too! I work alone though and she was "always gone" so I took care of the kids too along with my parents. She's come home after they went to bed and left me to take them to school.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 11:23 PM
2

How about videotaping her berating you after going out drinking and show it to her when she's sober? Maybe look into getting her into a treatment program. ​ I suspect the combination of drugs and alcohol are tearing up your marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 02:39 AM
3

Well said!!!
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/21 12:11 AM
7

Four years in, Not yet.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/21 05:25 AM
3

At least you made it as far as you did. My ex was from a super poor family with a ton of issues. Left me when we reached 1.2 million which hurt a lot because it was working capital and it will be a very long time to recover. I should add the stress fighting over the money really took its toll on me. She prepped fir 🌲 vet a year with the guy she was cheating on me with and divorcee friends from work. Lawyers got over 100k
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/21 01:07 AM
10

Since I’ve divorced I’ve dated at least 10 women. I’ve broken up with all of them except the current one but I’m already planning ahead. So I think the number is probably higher than 95%
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/21 02:50 PM
1

Maybe go to the doctor? Have them record the injuries? Take photos for sure!
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/21 04:24 AM
1

Here in California it is. Attorneys don't like it because they want as many billable hours and the best way to get them is through conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 03:33 AM
1

So here's the thing. Lawyers can do a lot, they can also empty your bank account a lot. So the more you do the footwork the less excuses they have to charge the crap out of you. If you can get your STBXW to agree to mediation, that would be a fantastic route to go. The mediator is neither of your friends and as long as you both leave unhappy, they've basically done their job right. ​ Don't be lazy in a divorce. Seriously that is the best way to be taken advantage of.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 02:08 AM
1

You have an absolute right to records if your name is on the account. If it isn't you request the records or subpoena them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 01:55 AM
1

DOCUMENT EVERYTHING YOU CAN! Pay to get old copies of your account records showing the down payment coming from your account. The more you make the effort to document things, the better off you will be.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 12:51 AM
1

splitting it. Not sure if I would attempt that route. I would want property split if there could by any profit. Did the community pay the bills for the house or did she buy it outright? You should probably get some credit if the community paid the mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/21 12:42 AM
2

I had an appraisal
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/21 11:10 PM
4

After spending $50,000 on a divorce (just my side) I completely sympathize! I ended up switching to a more affordable attorney at the end and doing a lot of my own work on prepping for court (financials, exhibits)
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/21 05:18 AM
3

He's being real. I was briefly there. Unconditional love for my ex. My sister snapped me out of it with this tidbit. Once she breaks your TRUST you will NEVER GET IT BACK. The marriage is over.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 02:07 AM
1

I went through this phase. It will pass. It will still likely suck, but it will pass. ​ You need to start thinking about YOU and YOUR FUTURE. She isn't the person you knew anymore. There is usually a secret person they hide from you. The last couple of years of my marriage my ex would stonewall me. The the 2 am texts "it my friend from school drunk texting" The sitting on the couch together those rare moment because she was always "gone because of work/school" and her diving across the couch to …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/21 02:05 AM
2

Seriously, probably neither unless you can patch things up with your wife, but seriously you don't seem like you're into being with one woman. Maybe just do hook ups on Tinder instead?
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 08:02 PM
1

My suggestion: Interview multiple attorneys, also get referrals from people you know. Be aware attorney will put on a big show in the interview but once they get the retainer, all bets are off.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/21 05:20 PM
5

Congratulations!!!! You’re taking charge in an untenable situation. You owed this to yourself!
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 07:06 PM
1

My ex kept her married last name because of the kids I think.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 06:23 AM
6

She will try. Get a copy of the complaint. Know she will most likely file at last second before the hearing with an amended complaint because most likely the original complaint won't hold up. Your choice will then be to go forward with the hearing at a major disadvantage or get a continuance and wait longer to see your kids. Usually these are carefully planned with her attorney. Be aware of any "evidence" she has or may present. Witnesses, etc. I just looked it up and there is between two and th…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/21 06:19 AM
1

No this was a firm with multiple lawyers and this was the business model. Oddly enough a Christian themed divorce attorney firm too.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/21 05:57 AM
1

Adding to that: Get copies of the incident reports from the police responses.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/21 09:11 PM
5

My understanding it you are hurting yourself it you try and treat your future ex as your wife. The glove HAVE TO come off for the divorce. It is a complete shame but if they don't it will have a huge impact on the outcome of the divorce. You have to start being tough and thinking about yourself starting on day one.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/21 09:03 PM
3

I'm pretty sure yes.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 10:56 PM
2

If you start making more money then you did it the marriage she'll want alimony off of that. Maybe you can re-sink profits into the company for a while?
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 09:47 PM
2

I understand attorneys in Texas are more affordable then those in other states. Here in California Hourly rates run about $450/hr and that was a couple of years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 09:44 PM
2

handled your divorce and get their advice; even if you have to p I strongly recommend against a "fixed fee" lawyer. They will do the bare minimum, you might be just as well off get a number off a bus bench for "baratos divorcados"
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/21 09:43 PM
2

I’d ask an attorney but I would expect there could be an adjustment for full time of some sort
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 05:52 PM
1

If you have no assets right now it is all community property. If you gifted a family member, it's a gift. The community or a member can do that. But seriously why even go into a marriage if you're that concerned.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 02:14 PM
1

Is sh, say for instance degrees as an attorney and working at Costco as an associate, for instance? If she has a degree and is making. Minimum wage, she may be able to be imputed so that she gets a higher income assigned to her even though she isn’t making that much.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 06:19 AM
1

Ahh sweet silence! I will once my kids are finish high school!
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/21 03:48 AM
2

Congratulations!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/21 09:54 PM
4

At least consult an attorney or two.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 09:40 PM
3

Maybe ask to impute her income, after all what is keeping your ex from working full time? Also, is she under employed?
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/21 07:27 PM
6

You’re male, you suck. That is all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 10:10 PM
1

My responses take a while. I read and re-read them. As I said I have to consider the courts when responding so they are always sent with the court in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 06:32 PM
3

True. All communication I honestly send is really meant for the court in mind. I always look at it from the perspective of the court. I think every time she goes on the offensive she leaves with a nosebleed in terms of documented evidence for the court. I don’t hold back in concern for her feelings, just state my case strongly spice it up with instances of a police report I had to file and some neglect issues that have all happened recently and she does the usual of going silent and ignoring wha…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 05:47 AM
2

If I didn’t have kids I would. We only talk on the court app.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 03:37 AM
1

If course when I bring up anything she does to endanger the children she ignores me. For instance, abandon the kids in an empty house and bad things happen to them? I offer to take them so they’ll have a parent or grandparent around? Fail to get any regular health care? No answer. So many things like this, dozens over the years. Many far worse then this.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/21 12:22 AM
6

Women and men are different. When a woman has reached a point of divorce, she's been planning it for a very long time. Women also don't typically change their mind once they do decide to divorce. It's over, I'm sorry, been through that hell myself.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 07:08 AM
2

From what I'm hearing, expect her to file a restraining order and try dragging your name through the mud. Standard playbook stuff, especially if your wife is friends with any female divorcees. She will try and get you out of the house to get an advantage in the divorce as well. She likely has contracted several divorce attorneys by now and gotten "free consults" at least. I expect she is well ahead of the curve from where you're at. ​ Be careful what you say to her. Expect anything in writing to…
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 06:55 AM
2

What part of California are you in? That wasn't my experience in court.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 06:35 AM
2

You are doing the right thing! She made a choice, now she has to live with the consequences. If she wants to move out of the area your son is well established in his school so most likely you will have a strong case for him staying. Plus you'll have money for a house or his college.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/21 06:33 AM
1

Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 07:16 PM
1

I found a good woman six months after my ex left me, however a year later I realized I wasn't really ready. We broke up and she ended up marrying someone else. I think timing is important.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/21 03:33 PM
1

Net value /2 then if one is worth more net there needs to be an equalizing by payment, unless you sell them, just divide by two.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 09:50 PM
0

Maybe try legal separation or a trial separation?
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 08:10 PM
1

You will probably need appraisals on the properties. The alimony/child support is a different matter, keep that separate from assets.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 08:07 PM
3

Judges don’t ever favor the father. If, say you had video of her, using cattle prods on the kids or putting the kids hand on a hot stove you might get an hour or two more of custody. If there’s video of you saying no you can’t have desert before dinner as a father, now that is severe child abuse and you might get lucky and be able to have infrequent supervised visitation the way the system works here in California.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 06:57 PM
5

I highly recommend you get a court app like TalkingParents. E-mail will not hold up as well in court. If there is a court order that HCBM is to pay her half of therapy and she isn't, maybe you could try something like contempt of court if she's failing in the order. Also, does the court order say anything about responding to the other parenty (like within 24 hours)? Document, Document and again Document EVERYTHING. Keep a custody log and document when conversations/events occur if they're verbal…
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 06:35 PM
2

And expect constant demands for “replenishment” of funds.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 03:51 PM
2

I'm a bit concerned for OP. He also posted on suicidewatch. Op, please let us know you're okay!
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 01:17 AM
4

Addendum: Don't get the first lawyer you go to. Some really suck at their job.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/21 01:01 AM
1

Is there a court order yet? Have you filed anything? You need to go by what the court order says if there is one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 06:25 PM
6

So you can't go back and un-give her money, however you can move forward and not make that mistake again. You've filed. Short term marriage, no kids you mentioned so it should be a pretty clean break and now you just have to deal with being hurt which is the worst part in most ways. Just make sure you don't get messed over on the divorce financially.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 06:23 PM
5

Maybe she didn't really want a divorce and was using the threat as a control mechanism?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/21 03:40 AM
4

I think we all need to let a little steam off considering how difficult some of the things we talk about here. I think this is perfect!
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 11:03 PM
3

I really hope it does count as community property. I think you have a good argument for court.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 05:05 PM
1

After such a bad divorce myself and horrible representation, I am seriously considering law school and becoming a father's rights attorney.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 02:56 AM
1

My ex used her inheritance probate to move community money so she “inherited” it. Paid off her late mom’s house with community money. She managed to keep it I just couldn’t keep up the court fight.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/21 12:49 AM
3

I know here in California they use a program to calculate child support and alimony. I don't think a lot of these things really come in to play for the data the lawyers feed into it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/21 07:27 AM
7

want to believe her. I can't believe that the blame is cast solely on me, though. It's bold of her, to say the least. The pysician i spoke to says there could be some risks of the prenatal testing, so i haven't pursued it. When i mentioned it to her, she said "its a waste of your money, but if it'll make you feel better, go ahead." IT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER, Especially when you find out it isn't yours. You had a short term marriage, you're young. My sister told me something that stuck with me…
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 06:48 PM
14

My 13 year old daughter told me when finding numerous pregnancy tests from my mid 40 year old ex an her live in boyfriend “my mom is trying to replace me!” I see her struggle all the time. It sucks beyond belief.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/21 04:28 AM
5

I hate to say this, but denial isn't just a river and once her lawyer gets a hold of things you'll probably be up the proverbial shit creek. I have a feeling by the time things end, you will have alimony and child support. You'll also be responsible for half the credit card debt she racked up and all assets will be sold including the house. ​ Best thing to do now: Don't move out of the house (unless you bought it before the marriage, most likely it's half her's) and fight for all of the child cu…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 07:15 PM
3

So she’s using the threat of the TRO hearings to get everything she wants. She also knows settlement outside court can’t be discussed during the hearing. Sounds like you have a fight on your hands.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 04:35 PM
2

I'm confused by what you've written. It looks like she filed for divorce and a TRO. Does that make you the defendant or did you file for divorce AFTER the TRO? If you're getting majority custody and staying in your home, go for it! It really sounds like her lawyer looked at the TRO and realized it wouldn't stand in court and she would be in a bad position during the divorce as a result of it to me.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 05:37 AM
4

Yep. Would have been a deal breaker for me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 07:51 PM
2

My ex is doing that right now with her live in boyfriend, she's in her mid 40;s so my guess is it will have autism or down syndrome
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 06:10 PM
2

Is her credit tied to the bills too? Maybe take a risk and don’t pay them. There’s usually 30 days before it gets reported to the credit companies so push the envelope a bit, see if she pays them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 04:47 PM
1

Need to ditch the churchy background music, seriously. It does a pretty good basic description. I would have preferred the last one considering there was more involvement with the court, especially after an abduction and multiple times dealing with the police due to my ex refusing to follow the custody order. My ex even attached a process server with her car at one point.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/21 12:15 AM
3

The attorney(s) will try like hell to get you to fight so they can get billable hours. You don't matter to them, you are simply how they get income no matter how genuine they seem. ​ Seriously think about going through mediation if needed. Also: do consults with several attorneys if you can, they are relatively cheap or free and you can get lots of good info and learn questions you need to ask / specific answers to your case. ​ ​ Good luck!
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/21 04:08 PM
6

Short marriage, shouldn't be a lot of alimony. Child support is a different issue. Go for 50/50 custody and try imputing her income, she can work and should be able to make at least minimum wage which is credited against your support.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/21 05:18 PM
2

I think it really depends on how much money you have. If you've been married a short time and have no assets or kids, it should be incredibly simple. If you were married a long time like had over a million to fight over, I guarantee it's going to be a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/21 09:04 PM
1

I think it’s hers asset before marriage so you probably won’t get a share of the house. If you can show the improvement maybe part of that.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/21 03:29 AM
3

I was engaged after a divorce, and got financially entangled and back into Civil court when she broke it off. I won, but it was a mess. It’s the legal part of it. If you do, I’d say, do a pre nuptial agreement if you have any assets. Also doesn’t hurt to set up a trust if you own property for extra protection.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/21 05:36 PM
1

Simple question: Are you male? Well congratulations, you’ve already mostly lost your case. 50/50 is okay. My ex hasn’t functionally been interested in my kids so ai have been getting more and more custody anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/21 05:06 PM
2

I would add bullsh*t that her would be a common pronoun for someone who receives this card.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/21 03:11 AM
1

My ex uses my kids phone to track me. She went to my neighbors while I was gone to a job site and slandered the hell out of me to the neighbors. Some women can be purely evil.
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/21 01:46 AM
3

Definitely right. He is going to need someone to lean on. Just realize it will probably be a long time. I’m still hurting and it’s been four years so being there long term is probably best. I had an old friend who killed himself about two years after his wife left him because he was struggling badly. He didn’t even share with his brother how bad he was doing.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/21 02:46 AM
6

Just be careful, if she’s anything like my ex, this is when she’ll strike at you the most.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 08:05 PM
6

Dude! I really feel for you. Been in a somewhat similar situation. Just know, when it comes to the divorce, you can't let your feelings for your ex get in the way of taking care of yourself. Don't let her steamroll you and it's totally okay if she has to pay alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/21 07:07 PM
1

I should say being here helps give perspective, divorce is a personal hell, but knowing so many experiences are the same and everyone supporting each other. I work a lot, to exhaustion. Focused on making money and making sure my kids are taken care of because my ex doesn't seem to care much for them. Taking care of yourself is important, but I also look at the big picture, my financial well being long term so I work, a lot. I feel empty but I am giving to my future self by doing so. Hopefully do…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/21 08:05 PM
1

Damn! I had a pregnancy scare with the first woman after my ex! She didn’t take her birth control right and ended up with an ectopic pregnancy. It was pretty traumatic!
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 05:46 AM
3

Mine was more like 600k!
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/21 05:39 AM
1

You’ll probably get partial custody. I ended up with two weeks days and every other weekend. My ex leaves them at home alone a lot. They’re old enough now but they could be playing with their cousins and having fun instead of sitting in their rooms. Also, I’d expect you to need to pay spousal support. Try getting her income inputted.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 11:37 PM
3

California ALWAYS favors the mom in my experience. She will get over 50% almost guaranteed. California 100% favors women in the courts, they are always victims, they always get favorable treatment. It's how the state and court system works, however judges/commissioners use "best practice" so there's no actual solid rules on most things. Note when your ex gets over (maybe just over 50% custody), she also gets the tax deduction on the kids and head of household as well. Have no faith in the Califo…
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/21 08:15 PM
5

Still struggling, my ex left me for someone she was secretly cheating on me with after 20 years of marriage. It was an ugly divorce too. I always put her needs and wants first. I make it work by focusing on my kids now. The part that sucks is they are growing up though so they need me less and less. It’s never easy. You will need to find outlets, hang with friends, everyone says the gym and it’s true it helps. I work a lot too so that also helps a bit. But almost four years in and it is still a …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 05:34 PM
6

Still struggling, my ex left me for someone she was secretly cheating on me with after 20 years of marriage. It was an ugly divorce too. I always put her needs and wants first. I make it work by focusing on my kids now. The part that sucks is they are growing up though so they need me less and less. It’s never easy. You will need to find outlets, hang with friends, everyone says the gym and it’s true it helps. I work a lot too so that also helps a bit. But almost four years in and it is still a …
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/21 05:34 PM
1

Not giving up on relationships, the sex is fun! But marriage on the other hand, I really am not sure about!
/r/MGTOW30/06/21 07:08 PM
3

If its a contested divorce, seriously try and get her to a mediator, both parties attorneys would like it because they will want all the billable hours they can get. You can get a ton of things done quickly and while neither of you will likely be happy it will be done.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 05:53 AM
2

You're in a short term marriage, I think there is limited alimony depending on where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/21 05:28 AM
10

Second that. Didn't have the money you did coming in, but a high net worth from Real Estate. It's amazing how evil they become and how carefully they plan out a divorce well in advance (mine spent 1-1 1/2 years making plans with the guy she was cheating on me with it appears).
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/21 11:05 PM
2

My kids struggle a lot often the divorce, it really is hell for them. My daughter spent four hours with a broken arm waiting for my ex to come home for instance. The kids spend a lot of time in their rooms at my ex’s house with her gone. It pure sucks for them the half time they are with her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/21 08:24 PM
2

Why not be both, that way you can screw the dudes wife and screw him out of his money too!
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 05:10 PM
29

Me too. Now I'm tempted to be the meet for coffee guy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/06/21 06:50 AM
2

My ex and I only talk via the court app and at a bare minimum. For my safety I would never do more then that because of her severe mental health issues.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 09:47 PM
2

I will!
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 02:54 AM
5

Almost four years post divorce (two from the last hearing). I know one thing, I could never TRUST my ex again after the way she left me, but I still have feelings even though she left me and quickly moved in with her dream man, a forty year old bald forklift driver, after being married to me twenty years. ​ I think we all have our own journeys. The best tools I have are going to the gym with a friend, working hard, and dating much more attractive women then my ex (who incidentally gained 50 lbs …
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/21 01:31 AM
2

Nice if you want to get divorced in a third world hellhole, have at!
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/21 02:12 PM
1

I subpoenaed a therapist once that my ex was using for the kids and she refused to show for court so I had the therapist sanctioned, problem solved, my ex immediately fired the therapist because her testimony would always be tainted by the action that happened in court.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/21 06:55 AM
2

If a joint account you can ask for prior month statements it may be a couple of bucks but they should be able to get them to you quickly, maybe print in the bank or just go online and look at transactions?
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/21 05:28 AM
3

haha try over 100k for me including what my ex spent! I hear it wasn't even an expensive one.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 11:09 PM
4

I just had a date with a woman last weekend that did that. Her ex lives in Oregon and she went to her parents and filed for divorce in California.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/21 03:42 PM
7

Be careful about "amicable" divorce. Are you really splitting assets fairly? There's a lot to look at after a long marriage. There are things like retirement accounts, for instance that are community property that can be overlooked.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/21 09:37 PM
3

You should at least get minimum wage imputed until the vocational eval comes through.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 09:59 PM
4

So she had a vocational evaluation and was found to have absolutely no marketable value? That seems insane
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 09:51 PM
5

It would be wise to get her income imputed If she isn’t working
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 08:42 PM
22

Holy Crap! My ex insisted after buying a car for cash on paying for her grad school in cash too, screaming at me when I suggested we pay off my grad school and then she left me the WEEK she finished her Master's going from 40k a year to 100k a year as a teacher! I think this is a common theme, use someone to your financial advantage and dump them right after! ​ She was cheating on me. Also did everything she could to maximize her financial gains in the divorce. Never again!!!
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 06:19 PM
1

I went through it for about the first year or so. Just to know I'm coming up on four years, it still is in no way easy for me, but it's a little better.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 06:12 PM
1

Yep
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 04:51 PM
11

I think some of us miss being with a woman. I miss having someone to go home to. I made the mistake of asking a woman to marry me after the divorce, she got me involved in a real estate transaction and I ended up in court with her because she broke up with me a few days after and it was clear she wanted money. I beat her soundly in court but it took several months dealing with it. Now I'd still be happy with a good woman, but I think I'd rather just have one live with me without the legal contra…
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/21 04:18 AM
2

I would check with the court and see if she actually filed. Until you verify, it didn't happen.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/21 03:31 AM
2

Tell him keep busy, go to the gym and take care of himself. It's not going to be easy but eventually a little better.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 08:59 PM
5

Probably if she doesn't want to go she's already disengaged and probably planning a divorce and talking to divorce attorneys, sorry to say.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/21 05:01 PM
4

Once TRUST is broken, you can never have it again. It has been a hard lesson to learn but it is the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 09:28 PM
1

Find a way to document it happened, you future ex to admit it. It could be useful in court. Maybe her admitting to doing that with a second party to witness? Put it under your hat for the future
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/21 06:33 AM
0

Look, those jobs are unicorns. Most forklift drivers work in some regional warehouse or somewhere like Home Depot. If you're content in having an unfulfilling life, for the unmotivated person it is perfect. The pay will keep you exactly poor.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 06:49 PM
1

It's a great job for a 20 year old. But to reach 40 and that's your highest achievement?
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 03:39 PM
2

Wow. I think I was married a clone to your ex. 20 years, but she now lives with a forklift driver. She and I both had graduate degrees (she finished hers a week before leaving me).
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/21 07:13 AM
2

My total divorce cost me around 50k in California. My ex wife spent around 60k from what she put in to the court. Some attorneys are more expensive then others. Some pad the bill more then others as well. Just be aware their primary goal has little to do with you, it's that Bentley sitting in the driveway of that expensive house more likely. Most attorneys maximize conflict in order to increase billable hours. Also, the first thing you do is give them your finances and, I suspect they have a for…
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/21 03:47 AM
6

SLPT: Move to an at fault state, get residency, catch her and then divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/21 05:30 PM
1

Hell yeah! Once you go into divorce mode you HAVE to take off the gloves. I blamed myself heavily when my ex left me but then I would wake up at 2am and run things through my head about what honestly happened, her 2am texts from her “drunk texting friend” to her diving across the couch the less and less frequent times we were together and holding the phone close to her face so I couldn’t see who was texting her. Her moving money, paying for a new car and grad school in cash, transferring about 5…
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 09:27 PM
3

Certainly better then nothing!
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 09:15 PM
2

I once dated a woman who was an alcoholic. Boy you could tell when she was drinking, she'd get mean.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 06:10 PM
23

The point in incredibly valid. Women that "want a divorce" have already checked out and are usually on with their plans before the divorce talk. They're manipulated finances, slandered you with everyone they know and can, and been working with divorce lawyers to make sure they win everything they can. It happened to me, and it is amazing how the "gentler gender" can actually be incredibly evil, conniving and willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead financially.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/21 12:20 AM
1

Damn! Yeah my ex and I were pretty young when we got married. She was 19 but we were married almost 20 years.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 07:38 PM
1

You're not alone. I had a very similar experience. The moment my ex finished a Master's (paid for in cash) and was getting a huge pay raise and after moving all the money she could to her mom's probate (inherited outside marriage) she left me for her dream forklift operator. Her behavior was Jekyll and Hyde like. Loving wife to monster in 60 seconds. ​ Just know that women are great at lying, cheating and stealing. Most guys suck at it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/21 05:43 PM
1

Woo hoo! Nice! I hope the hearing clears a lot of things up!
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 03:55 PM
3

Lawyers will definitely tell you whatever it takes to get the money. Make assertions that sound like promises
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 12:20 AM
3

Both sides spent 50k plus. The winners were the attorneys.
/r/Divorce_Men04/05/21 12:09 AM
4

I urge you to pick your attorney carefully. I've had a really crappy one and one that just lived to bill every penny I had. I ended up over 50k in expenses for my own attorney fees and it happened quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 10:08 PM
5

I've also read in a relationship if the wife wants a divorce it is over because women are generally know for taking a long time to make a decision and then not wavering once they do.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 09:22 PM
4

an extra way: My ex transferred about 50k into her mom's probate before divorcing me and claimed it was her own since probate property is separate from the marriage. She also paid for grad school out of the community and I didn't get credit for that while holding over 25k in loans for grad school myself. There are a ton of dirty tricks out there and judges honestly will do the least amount of work to clear their docket.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 06:20 PM
2

If you do get back together with her, maybe it should be on condition of ongoing counseling, maybe couple counseling as well. Odds aren't great things will work but for some they do.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/21 06:15 PM
1

Do you have. Temporary custody order? If so take it to the police where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/21 02:07 AM
5

I just have a strong suspicion most of these are "stay at home moms" complaining that their exhausted husband isn't also doing their housework. I get if both people work then there should be more sharing of responsibility.
/r/MGTOW27/04/21 12:43 AM
2

There is some evil stuff there. A woman complaining that her husband would leave at 4am but kept forgetting to take samiches out of the fridge to defrost while she slept in. Others talking about stuff like cheating on their husbands, stuff like that.
/r/MGTOW27/04/21 12:28 AM
3

r/breakingmom
/r/MGTOW27/04/21 12:01 AM
1

No there are some great women out there, but these arent
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/21 12:00 AM
1

I’m struggling a bit but I have better days now after almost 4 years.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 11:59 PM
6

I was permanently banned there. Apparently it’s okay to trash on men but bring up facts and they ban you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 11:36 PM
1

r/breakingmom
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 10:15 PM
2

Was there anything anyone said that didn’t suck? I don’t know what to say because it’s just awful Oh hey just an afterthought. There are some extremely crappy divorce lawyers out there. They will sell you a bill of goods and once they get a payment do the bare minimum while charging you everything they think they can get from you. DO RESEARCH, interview A LOT of attorneys, get references! It can make or break you!
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 07:34 PM
3

Damn! This is almost down the list of what I did for my divorce. Oddly enough a guy I was in a church youth group with killed himself (because his wife left him) right after my ex left me with her boyfriend. I became friends with the guys older brother and we went to the gym all the time. I don't know if I would have made it without a good friend and a regular workout.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 07:33 PM
2

I think it was being overly protective of her phone, diving across the couch and holding it so I couldn’t see, making excuses about the 2am texts coming in saying it was a girl she knew “drunk texting her”. Being gone all the time to “study” and having to go to parties even though she had no real reason to and hadn’t spent time with her family or kids in a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/21 04:40 PM
2

Yep. The problem I’ve done dating younger is we don’t seem to have a lot in common. Different way of thinking, different life experiences. It was a bit of a let down even though we dated for a year
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 09:56 PM
3

ially if I had kids and assets to protect That is the crappy deal, most women out there at my age are buried in debt.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 08:20 PM
4

I had almost the same thing, 19 1/2 years. He needs to get tough quick and learn to fight hard in court. It never gets easy, but it does get easier over time. He needs to find things that keep him busy.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 07:06 PM
1

It is amazing the toll it takes on you. I finalized the divorce two years ago. My ex got twice as much as as did by doing some dirty dealings and I bought her boyfriend she was cheating on me with a nice house with a shed to work on the cars I apparently also bought him.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/21 07:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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