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Teacup000 Archive

View 8 posts and 466 comments by Teacup000 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

I'm not the best person to answer as my husband is my age and has a higher smv than me. I do want to bang him just by looking at him, but I also sometimes want to bang him after simply listening to him talk. The man has some rock solid judgment, and I think that's the hottest thing about him. It makes perfect sense to me this could form the basis of attraction. There are some objectively above average looking people I feel complete repulsion for after getting acquainted with the inside of their …
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/23 05:28 PM
6

I second talking to him again and really getting to the bottom of this. If OP and him have been happy together for seven years, I think it's safe to say OP typically trusts his judgement and that he's not doing this for the hell of it. Another thing to try before making an ultimatum is for OP to go to her husband and talk about how confused and hurt she is that he's changed his mind about the trip. That she wants their relationship to succeed but has been struggling with anger and resentment sin…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 03:52 PM
2

I'm glad you guys are reunited, and that you grew closer in some ways when you were frequently apart. Distance is tough. Girlwithasidecar is a wise woman; I'm glad we're in agreement. And no, sorry I was unclear. I was having a tough time because I acted really really poorly to a friend of my husband's. He started dating my sister and I don't have a good opinion of him. My husband hasn't done much other than give me really good advice and some well-deserved criticism. But realizing I'm not the w…
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/23 03:24 PM
2

That's so sad! And it's certainly something I've been pondering lately. Though I may know I enjoy it very much, when I try to picture things from his perspective I'm not sure how enthusiastic I come across in the moment. Recently I've been having a really hard time. I thought I was communicating well that I loved him and thought highly of him, that it was me I had a problem with. My actions and my attitude I disliked. Since I've been feeling better, he revealed to me how unloved he's felt during…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 09:41 PM
5

That makes me very happy to hear. I hope you won't be hard on yourself for feeling this way. Sexual attraction is a crazy powerful draw, even when we think we know better. This guy sounds really good at gaming women. I know it's gotta be tempting to see him again, but the only way to beat him is to not play.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 09:14 PM
24

I can't imagine anyone advising you to hookup with him on this sub, which asserts that casual sex isn't usually in a woman best interest when she's looking for a relationship/commitment. This man will not commit to you and will continue to do things against your will that both scare you and excite you if you see him again. He hasn't displayed any ability to see to your needs and is acting selfishly to the point it has hurt you. Given your circumstances, I would advise you to keep looking for a m…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 08:24 PM
3

Of course, I really enjoy being intimate with him, and the way I enjoy sex is purely an emotional fixation upon the bond we share, and an emotional enjoyment of being able to please him and serve that role in his life. I'm with you on a lot of this. I don't particularly enjoy receiving sexual pleasure. I love me some starfish-adjacent sex where we mostly just cuddle and tell each we love each other and it lasts five minutes. I wish we could do this multiple times a day, it's one of my favorite t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 05:56 PM
3

I think if you marry a man who you feel is the best man you're capable of getting to commit to you, it doesn't really matter if you think other men are better in certain aspects. Your man will seem the best all around.
/r/RedPillWomen20/01/23 05:01 PM
3

Two kids, yes! Gained about 30 pounds each pregnancy. Half came off in the hospital, the other half took about 4 months with the help of breastfeeding.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 11:23 PM
3

Oops, typo! I meant that measurement to be my bust, not my band.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 11:11 PM
5

I'm quite petite, yeah, measurements are 34/23/34. Well, she's a professional dancer and I don't work out much, I would think she's got more muscle. Google five pounds of fat versus five pounds of muscle and you'll kinda see what I mean - muscle is very dense compared to fat. She will appear leaner than me even if our weight is the same.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 10:38 PM
3

Haha just Google female k-pop artists like Nayeon from Twice to get an idea of what that looks like. We're roughly the same size, though I'm sure she has a bit more muscle and a bit less fat than I do.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 10:17 PM
1

Mine is 23. It happens, but I think it's rare these days.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 10:10 PM
5

As someone who went the induction/epidural route, childbirth was a breeze. Had an episiotomy with the first one so the recovery was a bit uncomfortable for a few days, but I can assure you, it really wasn't that bad. I'd take pregnancy and childbirth over nine months of periods. Truly. I know some people are really big into experiencing the pain of a natural birth, that they find it beautiful. I believe them, but I also found it beautiful how my husband and I whispered kind and loving things to …
/r/RedPillWomen17/01/23 01:55 AM
13

The most important thing to have in a male-led relationship is respect. You have to trust his judgement for things to work. To be clear, I'm not advising you to force it. I'm saying that should be inspired in you. It sounds like you think he's making bad calls. For what it's worth, I think he's making bad calls. I would recommend you find someone whose wisdom and judgement pleasantly surprise you time and time again. Someone who makes good decisions the majority of the time, or in critical momen…
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/23 07:40 PM
1

It's a subpar solution. If men's currency is attention, and women's is sex, it'd be better if they both could be given freely and enthusiastically. I don't think my husband would like it if I started limiting our sex life, and I would hate it if he paid me less attention. I would imagine women would be much less interested in dating if attention was harder to come by. Less likely to download dating apps. Similar to how men would react if casual/uncommitted sex was taken off the table. The proble…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/23 02:56 PM
20

I think decent sleep is more important for maintaining intimacy than sharing the same bed. Poor sleep greatly contributes to irritability. Four nights of six hours of sleep has the same detrimental effect on the mind as one all nighter; it just keeps compiling. My husband and I sleep separately as needed while the kids are babies and such. It's crucial. One of us getting a good night's rest makes all the difference. I can catch up on my sleep during the day when the kids nap.
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 07:21 PM
2

I love your take, Sunshine. I think you're spot on
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/23 05:53 PM
3

Make sure your kids enjoy spending time with you. If you are an active part of their peer group, they're more likely to want to keep a good relationship with you and to be influenced by you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/22 06:42 PM
4

Some people want to know everything about their partner. Everything. Others would rather some skeletons be left in the closet, taking the ignorance is bliss route. I would recommend figuring out what you prefer and what your prospective partner prefers.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/22 02:02 AM
1

Is it intentional to leave out father and husband from point number two? I definitely care about how men's issues affect all the men in my life that I love. I think there are social incentives to being/appearing empathetic, not just financial. My husband definitely likes me more when I try to understand things from a variety of perspectives, even though he's not a MRA himself.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/12/22 09:07 PM
2

She's the best, isn't she? :) You might like the protagonist in Orange as well. She's very sweet and empathetic. I think there's only a movie for it out right now, but the manga was fantastic.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/22 08:02 PM
2

My husband and I were LD. I really enjoyed ordering him food and having it delivered to him. I baked and mailed cookies once but paying for shipping is kind of a pain. :/
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/22 07:52 PM
3

I really, really like Tohru Honda in the anime Fruits Basket. The K-drama Touch Your Heart is really heart warming as well. She's a bit self-centered in the beginning but learns how to support the leading man and it's super cute.
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/22 07:17 PM
2

Thanks for leaving your comments, I really appreciated them
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/22 05:03 AM
6

Married three years, two kids. I hang out here because it reminds me to appreciate what I have.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/22 03:55 PM
2

My biggest issues are how it gets misconstrued and sensationalized on platforms like YouTube and such for profit. I generally don't take much of an issue with the forums. I don't really like how anti-marriage MRP is, but I can understand why. There's a lot that's unflattering and a bit too many absolutes in TRP writing, though I can see how that's by design and is sometimes warranted.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 04:46 PM
2

I don't know about "okay" but it's understandable. I've done this before. Really liked my boyfriend, but we had incompatible ideas about marriage and kids. At one point, I reached out to an old friend I used to have a crush on. He was clearly interested, and we were much more compatible. I jumped ship and didn't look back. Now that we're married, we've given each other our commitment and loyalty. But alongside that, we both put in a lot of effort to keep the other satisfied and to stay their bes…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/22 04:33 PM
1

God doesn't make orders like that. He doesn't "tell". He asks. He granted us free will. Even with the birth of Jesus, He asked Mary if she was willing to have the baby beforehand. I don't want to answer hypotheticals describing some deity I don't believe in. But if I was given free will to choose, then whatever I decided would be "making a decision on my own". There's nothing wrong with having multiple priorities.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 06:58 PM
1

I view confidence more along the lines as optimism, or faith. I don't think it's a show of competence in and of itself, no.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 06:28 PM
1

??? I chose my belief system on my own, and I want to act in accordance with the standards I have for myself. I made a vow to stay in sickness and in health.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 06:25 PM
2

I'm not willing to divorce for religious reasons. But if not working included not being able to be a SAHD, it'd be quite the strain on our relationship. We'd likely have to sell the house and move in with family for awhile. Not the end of the world though. We'd get through it. 24f, married 3 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 08:54 AM
2

Hmm, interesting question. It would depend on the degree to which the nervousness affected our relationship, but I certainly have more respect for the first guy. He sounds like he's faced a lot of adversity and come out on top. That's a very impressive drive. If his mental state was to the point where he couldn't pick out a restaurant for dinner or a Netflix show to watch without having a break down, that would be too much incompetence in this area for me to handle. I value handling oneself inte…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 10:25 PM
8

I think what most people actually like is competence. We like people who are capable of accomplishing things. We like people who are good at stuff. We like people who can meet their goals. We like people who can handle their emotions and problems. I think some people try to use confidence as a predictor for competence. We want to be able to take people at their word when they say they can do the things listed above.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 09:40 PM
2

Damn. I'm sorry you feel that way, I've heard it can be really tough for average/short guys, especially on the apps. But I will disagree. My husband is like 5'10/5'11. My brother is shorter and married to a beautiful woman. I don't think it's hopeless, but it's seems to be a disadvantage.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 08:43 PM
1

Hey, you're supporting my point! You are displaying incompetence in debate. Unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 08:36 PM
1

Incompetence is unattractive.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 06:03 PM
2

It seems like Red pill men and fds women (who I haven’t talked about here but easily could) want more than just about anyone else but offer far less. Thoughts? What TRP and FDS seem to have in common, from my perspective, is that they serve to encourage and strengthen the goals of the individual. Sometimes this can get extreme, to the point it damages the couple. While dating, I do think it's important to prioritize yourself. But as you get closer to marriage, that "I" needs to become a "we". Ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/22 03:25 PM
1

There's so much wrong with this justification. Re-read the prompt. It mentions nothing about parenting. It says billionaire, not millionaire. It says if you're in a relationship, it's your partner that becomes a billionaire. Nothing about a third party.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/12/22 03:45 PM
2

Yes, but they have blue pilled ideas about relationships and are against red pill.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 10:38 PM
1

Ugh, yuck. Some of the most blue-pill women I've met were TERRIBLE to their partners. Emotionally, sexually, physically abusive. Completely focused on what they wanted at their partner's expense.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 10:19 PM
2

I read this scenario as being less about profit and more about work-life balance. It sounds like the billionaire wants a wife whose pastimes don't impact him. So low priority, low stress, little to no deadlines or commitments, no boss, no coworkers, etc. So being financially successful at content creation and creative pursuits like being a novelist or painter or game developer or whatever is fine, as long as it doesn't detract much from her mood or their relationship or place demands onto him. B…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 09:07 PM
2

Oh no, the prompt was stay at home spouse, not stay at home parent. I don't think he'd enjoy being a SAHD, we have a baby and a toddler, haha. My husband would retire today if he had the ~4 million he needed to do it. Work is work. He told me he would be perfectly content having a sugar mama, and I believe him. I think people in general like when their responsibilities give them meaning and value but don't like feeling trapped by them. If you could retire after working two days I think that woul…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 07:54 PM
29

I mean, I'm a SAHM now so that's just my life but easier. For the record, my husband would also take this deal in a heartbeat.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 06:22 PM
3

And yet, people still do drugs. Arguing against human nature is a fool's game. If you adequately explained the bonding phenomenon and how to overcome it, I would take you seriously. But to act as if sex is all dopamine release is just unintelligent and uninformed.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 04:23 PM
4

This is a false dichotomy. It's not one or the other all the time to everyone. It is a bonding activity. It releases oxytocin in both partners, but typically more in women. Oxytocin is the same hormone released in mothers and babies when breastfeeding; it bonds us. It is also pleasurable, and releases dopamine, as you said. Telling people not to be affected by the body's natural response to something is silly. It's not within one's control.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/22 02:38 PM
2

Personally I think anything over $1000 is a waste of money. Diamonds are overpriced. But I do love having the visual reminder of my husband and marriage on my hand wherever I go, and I like that other people will know I am married. I picked out a ring with a coral rose center with two surrounding pearls for $500. It was very fragile so we didn't expect it to last long, but got about three years out of it. Right now I just wear my wedding band and have found that I'm really happy with just that. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 08:30 PM
2

This is my point: women—everybody—is a poor decision maker when they’re young. It's certainly not everyone. Marriage, STEM degrees, and home ownership in one's twenties is standard for my social circles. Divorce at any age is the rare exception. 20s is the decade you work hard and get everything established so that you can coast through life post 40.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 08:06 PM
2

I think that's a bit simplistic. I know in my marriage we decided I would be the sole child carer for 60+ hours a week, with my husband being the sole child carer for 0 (it used to be 2 but then he had some big stuff come up). This has allowed him to put in the extra time at work he needs to have increased his salary by roughly 50% in three years. I view this as jointly earned, and if he left me, most of my effort will have been for naught finance-wise. The assets we have don't accurately reflec…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 04:27 PM
1

I can certainly see why it exists. It doesn't have to do with whether or not women can support themselves, so much as making up for the lost years one could've spent increasing their income and getting promotions. If a woman was working or is in a career that lacks upwards trajectory, it makes little sense. But it certainly sucks to start ten years behind or whatever, after likely struggling to get a job with such a big gap on one's resume, and after supporting your spouse achieve more and more …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/22 02:16 PM
–

Oh that's awesome! My husband's ex treated him terribly and cheated on him, so I think very poorly of her. He was warned not to date her at the time by other friends, and considers it a regret. Teens are weird.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 09:04 PM
1

There's definitely a happy medium to be had, but even that probably varies from person to person. All in all, I'm happy I don't have to worry about it much any more. XD
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 06:08 PM
–

Oh yeah, that does sound tough. In my particular case, I think I played too easy to get. I was no good at playing games and just approached him first and told him I liked him first. He says now that it had been flattering but he became less interested in me as a result, perhaps due to his youth and a moment of immaturity. Then I switched schools, which was kind of a relationship death sentence back in high school. I reached out when we were in college and it worked out then. He said he had remem…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 06:00 PM
1

I think it'd be hard for one to see the RP in my husband because he doesn't agree with a lot of the talking points or see women/sex in a similar way. But a lot of the behaviors TRP would say are attractive, he does. He's rock solid emotionally. He DAREs instead of DEERing (truly, his Amused Mastery is great). He is focused on improving himself and has his life together. He is big on personal responsibility. He does a lot of what he wants and says what he wants to say, but can do it diplomaticall…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:18 PM
–

I've had the guy I was interested in date a woman I thought was objectively way less attractive than me. That was also disheartening. But I was patient, and married him in the end. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:07 PM
2

Could you sell the home, quit one of the jobs, and move in with his parents? This of course is suboptimal, but at least the pressure to grow up will hopefully be coming from his parents and not from you. And you would likely have more help with baby. What's your family situation like?
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 05:01 PM
3

Correct, we are.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 05:53 AM
1

I appreciate your response, and I agree about putting people in boxes. A bit off topic, but if it ever interests you, I would suggest looking into the stances of women's rights groups on the Monica Lewinsky scandal. It's a bit before my time, but I have heard that there was a lot of silence or even support for Clinton despite the numerous women who came forward. I think another explanation for the Trump thing you described might be that people are willing to overlook a lot if it benefits them en…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/12/22 01:12 AM
0

I hear you. And I'm glad you're in a successful relationship with a woman you really like. I get how you didn't like the first comment called you a loser, it's similar to I felt about yours when referring to conservative women and I appreciate you clarifying what you meant. I agree with a lot of what you've said here. I will assert that submissive and supportive behavior can absolutely co-exist in a mutually beneficial/respectful/loving relationship. I want my husband to take on a lot of respons…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 11:18 PM
1

Uhhh, you do realize I'm a separate commenter, right? You did not ask me a question. But yes, in my experience, I am very judgemental, harsh, and discerning of male behavior. It's what landed me such a competent and attractive spouse. I expect more of him than a 50/50 relationship. He has to solely lead and provide for a family. He had to display higher levels of emotional stability. He needs to be more logical and have superior decision-making skills. He designs our savings and retirement plans…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 09:32 PM
28

As a conservative woman who married a liberal man, it has its upsides. Both of us are sympathetic to the issues of the opposite sex, which is nice.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 09:15 PM
1

Because I don't need to feel controlling or exert power in my relationship. I'm not insecure about my masculinity or toxic with it. I don't want a yeswoman little tradwife who nods along to everything I say and serves me. I like having an equal partner that challenges me and combats my ideologies and beliefs. Who expands and opens my mind. You sound very biased as well as inexperienced with conservative women. I'm happy you're happy, but try it without the inaccurate stereotypes next time.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 09:08 PM
1

It's all about re-prioritizing, not changing what one wants. If you met a 12 year old girl who desperately wanted a baby, it's more effective to help her appreciate other areas of life, especially ones that help her towards her goal, to help her become a more well-rounded, healthy individual who can eventually obtain what she wants when it is appropriate. It's less effective to mock her, tell her no will ever love her, and babies are gross.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 05:21 PM
7

Men are more likely to have life insurance, and in higher amounts. Taking 100% and then collecting the insurance payout is likely to be a better bet than 50% and he changes who the policy beneficiaries are.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/22 04:47 PM
3

I think youth, beauty, and sex are commodities. A young attractive woman is desirable to a lot of different groups for a variety of reasons. Whether it's as a regular employee, as a sex worker, as a ONS/FWB, as a long term partner or wife, as a bearer of children. Her time and attention is valuable. She should negotiate for herself as best she can while she can.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/11/22 01:58 AM
5

D/E. My sex appeal and desireability is my power. I'm not trading that to a few guys paying $10 a month or whatever (I traded it for a lifetime of love, care, provision, and children with a man I deeply respect). The vast majority of woman make very, very little on OF, and marketing yourself like that seems risky and demeaning. I suppose if I didn't need to show nudity or my face and my husband ran most of the business side and it made good money, I'd ask him if he thought we should give it a tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 10:12 PM
2

You don't have to be aligned on everything, provided both are happy to make sacrifices and changes for each other. The problem is when one person wants something that the other doesn't. If one person wants something and the other is like "oh sure, I've been meaning to get off social media anyway" then that's not a big deal.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/11/22 09:12 PM
0

There's ton of posts about vetting in the r/redpillwomen sidebar. If you want advice geared towards women go to the RP women sub, not TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 08:00 PM
1

There's ton of posts on the r/redpillwomen sidebar. If you want advice geared towards women go to the RP women sub, not TRP.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 04:22 PM
2

TRP is a product that is specialized for its target market. The point of it isn't to be nuanced. The point is to overcorrect an extreme worldview some men have, and let them figure out what works for them after experiencing two polar opposite sides of the spectrum.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/11/22 01:50 AM
1

I'm attracted to masculinity in men.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/22 02:26 AM
1

Fiscal responsibility is hot. A few million is enough to retire if you're smart with it. When my husband explains to me how to backdoor a Roth and the risks/rewards of leveraging stock...my God, that is something special.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/22 02:19 AM
1

To be fair, I think a man could have all of these things with multiple wives. Nothing here is exclusive to monogamy.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/11/22 10:01 PM
9

Put two chicken breasts in a pot. Add chicken stock until the tops are covered. If you don't have a decent spice cabinet yet, buy a taco seasoning packet and add that in. Cook on low for four hours or so. Shred with a fork. Eat as is, or throw some on a salad with shredded cheddar cheese and a can of black beans. Easy taco salad. One step at a time. Eventually you'll have a few recipes you're happy and comfortable with. I'm happy to help more if you need.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/22 04:01 AM
0

In my social circle, there are more eligible young men than women. It's all in who you know, I guess.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 12:02 AM
25

Diet. Sleep. Exercise. Those are the most important things by far. Learn how to cook and clean as you grow older. Avoid taking on debt whenever possible and try to have a positive net worth as soon as you can. I'd personally recommend staying at home through the college years and saving up for a down payment on a house. You'll wish you had worked harder and saved more when it's time to start planning a wedding and having kids.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/22 07:23 AM
1

If it's something you wouldn't tell your kids if you were still married, don't say it when divorced.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 04:47 PM
5

I mean, I think it supports hypergamy and branch-swinging, sure. And how women have a constant need for love and attention from men, even if what's taking up the man's attention is something that benefits the both of them, like financial security.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 03:37 PM
1

I'd feel bad he went to such lengths to please me and that he had to hide it. It sucks to have a secret you're keeping from your spouse, it's super uncomfortable. I don't care much about the deception. I get how sometimes we can get these irrational urges to hide things even when we still logically that it'd be better to share. Compulsion is a real bitch. I just want us to be happy together.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:11 AM
2

I totally get where you're coming from, haha, I often tell me husband I'm going to finish raising the kids then join a convent if something happens to him. He kinda laughs it off and of course wants me to be happy and everything. You ever finish a great tv show/movie/book and feel sad? Like it feels so tough to ever find something you'll like again, that you've experienced all the greats already, that media production just isn't the same anymore, etc, etc? I feel like this is that feeling x1000.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/22 01:23 AM
1

Doesn't oppa also mean older brother of a younger sister? I think that's a great way to show that this kind of thing happens in other cultures, haha.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:57 PM
5

Honestly, it just seems normal to me. No weirder than calling a woman "baby". Growing up my mom referred to my dad as "Daddy", and us kids did as well. I still call him Daddy even as a fully grown woman sometimes. I don't think I have daddy issues. I love both my parents very much and reflect fondly on my childhood. I guess I naturally came around to calling my husband Daddy because it never seemed odd. Though it was kind of a relief when our kids were born because now I have an excuse if someon…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:55 PM
5

So where is the line between STFU and manipulation by pretending to be incompetent? I think the difference is intent. In one example, you have a husband who desperately wants you to stop micromanaging, you're stressed the heck out, and you take drastic action to fix your marriage. Presumably, weaponized incompetence is designed to be more selfish. Your partner doesn't want to do more but you're twisting their arm purely so you can do less. However, is this surrendering, or is it just passive agg…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 09:15 PM
1

Waiting until marriage for sex certainly narrows the dating pool.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 08:04 PM
1

They're not mutually exclusive. My husband and I game together almost every night after the kids go to bed.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:46 PM
3

Kids don't do it. It's the not taking care of yourself that does it (and genetics). I have two kids and people think I'm a minor. My mom had three and people mistake her for the mother of my children when I'm not around. The rest of the women in my family look good for their ages. Except maybe one of my grandmas, but she has other issues.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:45 PM
1

It has its challenges, yes, and don't expect anyone to convert. Don't picture anyone making major changes for marriage in general. Marry someone you would be happy with if they stayed pretty much the same. My husband is Protestant and I'm Catholic. He agreed to marry in the Church and raise the kids Catholic, but we have disagreements about my faith all the time. But that's partly due to his personality. He's not really an "agree to disagree" kind of guy.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 05:33 PM
5

Expecting a man to run a household without your input is like expecting him to build a house without a tool box. How can he make you happy, how can he do what's best for both of you if you never say what you think and feel? Start with your feelings. If cooking makes you anxious, say, "I feel anxious". If he makes a decision unilaterally that you don't like, say "I feel uneasy/unsure/frustrated". It doesn't seem like anything else in your relationship needs to change as long as your voicing your …
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 05:27 PM
1

I think this is really interesting to contemplate. I could never do it considering my religion and my family but I've always liked the idea of dying from a broken heart. My husband and I like to joke about how we both want to die first so that we don't have to go a day without the other. Ideally we'd go the way of The Notebook couple.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/22 03:44 PM
6

Here's an explanation of the concept. It's heavily stylized writing meant to appeal to RP men but I think the ideas are solid.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:41 AM
15

For sure. I shit tested one of my husband's friends the other day (brought up an inside joke we agreed was fair game to joke about) and he DEERed. Lost a little bit of respect for him. I've branch swung. I'm a bit hypergamous. My husband is attracted to me being feminine and I'm attracted to him being masculine. Choreplay is nice but is a far cry from a turn on. Discipline and taking responsibility is attractive. My gut reaction to seeing a man cry is negative and I have to actively overwrite th…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 11:33 PM
3

Catholics see the purpose as to have kids + to help your spouse become the best version of themselves (to be deserving of heaven). Also it's just a lot easier to run a household with two adults
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 05:53 PM
-9

The problem is that you didn't match. The crux of the issue isn't who was reasonable and who wasn't, objectively. It's that you think he was unreasonable and cannot trust him to lead you well. That's valid. But it doesn't mean his new relationship is doomed. Not all women are like you. Find a new man. Not all men are like him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/22 01:51 AM
-2

No, not every dominant man is like this. If what he wants works for another girl, that doesn't mean it should've worked for you. You were incompatible.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/22 11:56 PM
19

Its not exactly mainstream but I highly recommend the anime/manga Fruits Basket. The main character is the epitome of femininity to me and it changed my life when I came across her character as a teen. She's a beautiful person.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/22 01:27 AM
8

Based on your age and the fact I presume you're attractive (since you were with a very attractive man so long) I'd say you probably don't have to settle for one or the other. Granted, I would expect them to be less conventionally attractive than your ex. My husband is very good looking and a great provider, and most of his friends are the same, though of course I think mine is the best. I actually know more eligible young men than I do young women. A good sex life does so much for a relationship…
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/22 02:37 PM
1

Here's my post on keeping money in your name while having joint finances. If you want to be a SAHM with income, you'll need to look into at-home daycares, nannying, or babysitting. You can watch other kids along with your own. I also know someone who works out of the house at a daycare and can bring her kids along for free.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 04:11 PM
1

There's a lot here about how you feel about the issue, and not a lot about how he feels. It doesn't seem like he sees an issue; the only thing you need to do is follow his lead. Perhaps you could work on appearing more socially competent, but it seems like that would be for your mental health more than anything else. Honestly, he sounds a bit sigma.
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/22 05:38 PM
18

I'm not a big fan of people thinking it takes an x amount of months or years to know a person. Watching someone handle a personal crisis will tell you more about their spousal potential than six months worth of dates, in my opinion. If one knows the good, bad and the ugly of each other's personalities, have similar values, have decent social circles, and seen them being tested by life while handling it well, I think that's a better predictor of success than time.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 05:40 PM
14

I've never been ashamed of my childlikeness. Kids have awesome qualities about them that can make even the crankiest-looking adults smile. I have a high-pitched voice (often told I sound like Luna Lovegood), walk on my tip toes, wear pastel colors and hair bows and flowers, and say yay and such. I don't often feel a need to prove myself to anyone. I have competence, and I have patience. I can earn respect over time. I try to appreciate the simple things in life. I point out lovely weather, or a …
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/22 07:01 AM
11

Perhaps it's worth considering the fact that he's chosen to stay away from this after experiencing it. My husband, before we dated, had done things I would never do and supported industries I don't like. Here's how I can look past it: For one thing, I try to accept that he can have different morals than me. I can still admire him for how he adheres to his own code of conduct. For another thing, we're on the same page about those topics now and on how to raise the kids regarding them. I tend to b…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 07:57 PM
9

The crying can be really tough. I would make sure he knows the go-to response for feeling overwhelmed is putting baby down in a safe place and leaving the room. I've had to do that before. As for you, things will get a little easier in a month or so. Baby reaches a point where he'll be content to look at you from a few feet away for awhile. It makes a big difference.
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 03:12 PM
8

But that is not the issue here. My issue is that by giving into having sex with him, I am thwarting what it is that I want ultimately. My desire to do this right and protect myself to get what it is that I want HAS to be stronger than my fear of rejection or failure or feeling unseen and that's what keeps tripping me up unconsciously I think. What exactly is it that you want? It is simply a relationship where you're not having sex? Is it feeling respected? Is it feeling in control? What are the …
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 04:27 PM
6

You'll want to read this post on the Art of the Bad Excuse. You don't know why men aren't approaching you, and it could have nothing to do with your looks. I know some very pretty and fit women who don't receive much male attention because they don't put themselves in situations where they are likely to attract it. I'm going to guess that trying to be more warm and friendly will do a lot for you. I'd look at the personality section of this post and see if anything stands out to you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 04:17 PM
1

Yeah, I personally don't post there because I don't like the format of the thread. But for the people who would like their current Friday threads, I hope this is useful information.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 10:13 PM
1

This doesn't sound too different from the good wife Friday weekly thread in r/redpillwives.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/22 06:37 PM
2

Maybe waist hip or waist height ratio?
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 08:26 PM
3

I could go either way on the fitness. I'm for the accountability. I do think working out gives a lot of mental benefits. But on the other hand, I do think the reasons MRP emphasizes lifting don't necessarily apply to RPW. Lifting is meant to teach the men self-reliance and how to escape external validation. It's meant to be hard and lonely and grueling, at least at first. Men are also a lot less picky when it comes to their attraction to women's bodies, making the physical improvements less usef…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 03:26 PM
8

I'd like to see OYS on a weekly basis the following form: Stats: relationship status, kids, everyone's ages Relationship highlight: Here RPW will describe what they are most proud of this week. In married or in a relationship, it should be something that affected your loved ones positively or affected you so positively that it improved your attitude/behavior towards them. If single, one can describe non-romantic relationships or their internal insight on the idea of romantic relationships. Relat…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/22 02:49 PM
3

I don't know much about Saudi Arabian culture. It seems you have very little control and bargaining power in your marriage. It could be that he doesn't like coming home to you because you are asking for things that you want (such as time together) when he does come home.and are crying when he doesn't give it to you. He doesn't like your attempts to dictate how he should spend his time and it's pushing him further away. Try making your home as irresistible as you can. Cook food he likes. Be affec…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/22 09:55 PM
1

It's not that simple. It's very unlikely to be "excellent" without working out, though I guess some of us have better genetics than others. If you lose weight, your butt will get smaller too. You need to increase muscle in your butt to have a great ratio. I have a very small waist and mine is .72. That puts me at healthy but not ideal. Hourglass territory is under .7. It seemed like you were saying there was little point because women just maintain and don't improve. I'm saying one can be slim a…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 08:49 PM
1

Healthy diet and exercise never stops being an important part of life. I think waist-to-hip ratio is a good sign of accountability without needing to list weight and is accommodating to a lot of different sizes. I personally think physical health should be emphasized. I have always had a thin, healthy body even through my pregnancies. I'm not focused on getting skinnier. But even so, I would appreciate a fitness section because there's still a lot to be done. I can tone my body and build up my b…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:52 PM
2

When I hear the phrase "making the guy wait" I think of a woman who is otherwise willing to have sex but is withholding it to get something she wants from the man. So not having sex for moral reasons or because she is uncomfortable would not apply. She is unwilling to have sex. But a girl makes a guy wait for reasons like controlling his perception of her then I think she's making him wait. So if she's willing to sleep with a guy on the first date but waited a month in the hopes that he'd think …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 07:36 PM
3

Something else to consider is how MRP will temporarily ban guys for talking too much about what their wife thinks and how she feels. We should probably do the opposite in a women's OYS. When talking about your relationship, one should aim to accurately represent how they made their partner feel. So instead of like "I'm mad at my husband because he did this" it should be more like "my husband responded badly to my concerns because he felt I was disrespectful and angry in our communication". Just …
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:08 PM
12

First step is to dump him and kick him out. This relationship is dead in the water, you have no interest in staying with him and are on dating apps. Second step would be to figure out what the men you're looking for want in a SAHW and how you can add significant value to their life in exchange for financial security.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 07:00 PM
–

I think it's interesting to think about. There's evidence of there being past "own your stuff" threads on redpillwomen, redpillwives, and the Christian women RP subreddit. I wasn't around to watch the OYS demise but it seems like lack of interest did the latter two in. Marriedredpill talks a lot about how they're saving the man and not the marriage. Most or all of the categories are about their individual development and there is little focus on how others are behaving. I think this works really…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 06:29 PM
10

Ask for what you want. Not because he has gotten something he wants, but because you are feeling unhappy. Don't compare what you get to what he gets. Focus on what you need. He had something he wanted, he negotiated for it. The time to trade favor for favor was back then. To now try to hold that deal hostage or as leverage is in bad faith and manipulative. Just do what he did, and ask. And if you guys have "her money" "his money" and "our money", then yeah, spend yours on whatever you want.
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/22 01:48 PM
2

I noticed as a teen that when I put on dark colored clothes and jeans, I felt more negative emotion (especially how I felt about myself) throughout the day than if I put on a pretty dress or light colored blouse. It's crazy how much something so small can affect our mood throughout the day.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/22 07:19 PM
1

Let's adopt how the Japanese handle Valentine's Day and White Day (3/14)
/r/PurplePillDebate31/10/22 05:07 AM
1

Little to no change. I wish she would go easier on my dad, but I felt that way before red pill too. I don't want to treat my husband the same way. Sometimes it gets a little uncomfortable when she wants me to make decisions that affect my spouse without consulting him first. But so far it hasn't caused conflict.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 01:03 AM
1

From OP's post history it does seem like the previous relationship ended months ago but there is still residual emotion. I wouldn't say OP is an "other woman". Most of us are average people dating other average people. If OP thinks he's a catch, that's what matters.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/22 09:01 PM
6

The first thing I recommend is going to him and telling him you're unhappy. Tell him you need more from him, and see what he suggests. If there is no improvement, then focus on what you can do (or not do). Take a step back from the household and the kids. Let things get messy. Let things get a little stressful. If you don't want to do it, learn to live with it not being done. A couple months of him figuring it out will likely be much easier on the kids than divorced parents. If there's no slack,…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/22 06:40 PM
26

Most of it is the same things that work for people who married at a later age. Things like wanting to be married, putting in effort, being compatible, etc. If I had to think of what makes a young marriage unique, it's that more major life choices haven't been made yet. To make this work, in my opinion, requires both partners to have some amount of control they can exert over the direction of the other one's life. People will change. Your partner needs to have some say in what kind of changes are…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/22 06:26 PM
1

Blue pill - we don't need gender roles/differences between men and women anymore, society should no longer care about them Red pill - though following gender roles is no longer necessary for one's own survival, most men and women are still (subconsciously or consciously) attached to traits and behaviors traditionally associated with the opposite sex. Blue pill tells you can be whoever you want to be, that there's someone out there for you regardless of the choices you make. Red pill tells you th…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 09:18 PM
4

I think of masculinity as the empowerment of oneself and femininity as the empowerment of others. I think everyone has a mix of the two (just as everyone has some amount of testosterone and estrogen).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 09:12 PM
2

I don't think I'd want a 10/10 partner. I think I'd be hyper fixated on the contrast in our value. I'm not sure exactly where I'd rank myself on a 10 point scale but certainly don't expect to be at the very high end. I was expecting to marry a man in the 6-8 range. My husband is more like a 9.5. I feel very fortunate to be with him but I also feel like he's ruined other men for me.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 08:44 PM
16

The best thing I have done in life so far is bring more people like my husband into the world. He's awesome. The kids are awesome. It's a good life.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 08:21 PM
2

All I can see is that when it comes down to it, he's prioritizing another woman over you.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 06:27 PM
2

MRP recommends "No More Mister Nice Guy" and "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" to start.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 06:15 PM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/xfb9zs/what_is_femininity/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 01:17 PM
15

I'm on Team Cute until the clothes come off.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/22 08:21 PM
1

Maybe For Couples Only?
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 08:35 PM
6

Him thinking that RP supports men forcing women to do things against their will is a fundamental misunderstanding of the philosophy. RP is more about self-improvement, finding your mission in life, and sexual success. In regards to LTRs/marriage, these are deemed acceptable provided they add sufficient value and the man takes action to protect himself. Him focusing on you and your actions is a good sign he isn't properly internalizing the concepts. MRP is big on accountability and leading by exa…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 08:29 PM
3

Hmm. Tricky. Well, it seems like there isn't much for you to do other than to find new friends. You have to be careful with what you reveal about your relationships, especially before you've worked out conflict with your partner - as you've now learned. I think most people are overly idealistic and highly judgemental when it comes to love. I don't know if it's worth pointing out, but it doesn't seem like you ever explained to your friends that you were wrong and acted poorly. I wonder if the con…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 02:05 AM
2

I'm so glad I could help. :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:46 PM
2

Oooh, I see. Sorry for misunderstanding. Something helpful to understand here is that humans find change stressful even when it's positive. Starting a new relationship and leaving someone you spent so much of your youth with sounds really tough. That's a lot of change. I'd be wary of letting the guilt about ending things interfere with your decision to prioritize yourself and a great-sounding guy. I think you made the best choice you could with the information you have. Though that doesn't guara…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:34 PM
4

I was in a somewhat similar situation before (I would describe the men differently, and there was no abuse) where I had to choose. This is how I boiled it down: Situation with A was worse but I currently had strong romantic feelings and wanted to believe things would change for the better desperately. Situation with B sounded like a vast improvement and there was potential for strong romantic feelings. I thought about it for a few days, and choose B. A contacted me for a few more days until B ca…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/22 11:04 PM
5

I was always into tradcon ideas and self-improvement. RPW isn't exactly the same but there's a lot in common there. I was happily married when I came across RP and found a lot of ways to improve things further.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 10:51 PM
5

I think the biggest difference between the two is who they are trying to appeal to. Pick me's tend to want attention from all/most men. RPW are trying to appeal to just one man at any particular point in time. I'd look to see how much attention a woman pays to you on dates and how many male friends she keeps.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 10:39 PM
1

Besides asking outright, perhaps frequent international travel, traveling to certain countries with other men, and use of massage parlors could be possible indicators? Also his opinion on sex work and its legalization. It's an interesting question.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 01:28 PM
12

I think what she's saying is 70% of Dutch men have been with a prostitute, and all or nearly all Dutch prostitutes are victims of human trafficking. Therefore, since they do not consent to be sex workers, they are all constantly being raped by their clients.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 01:09 PM
1

It sounds like he could be testing you, yes. It's also possible he lacks certain social skills, or that he highly values blunt honesty. If it's bothering you, I'd say something.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 07:06 PM
1

Wow, thank you and Pearl very much!!
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 06:31 PM
2

I don't think being outsiders justifies the responses OP is getting. Judgement isn't advice. I wouldn't be bothered by the harsh replies in this particular thread if there was helpful advice also to help OP solve her problem but there hasn't anything besides leave him, he sucks, his problem is not your problem, and insults. Nobody has to like or agree with the decisions an OP has made in order to help them navigate their current situation. Let's focus on OP's problem at hand.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 12:42 PM
2

I had a friend who was similar to you. Everyone around her was in relationships and having sex apart from me. Then I lost my virginity to my husband. She hooked up with a decent enough guy in a hotel room one night just to get rid of her virginity and see what sex was like. From how she described her experience, it seemed like a letdown. It wasn't special or loving at all, or even super pleasurable. You should do want you think is best. I really enjoy sex with my husband and am so glad to have t…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 02:32 AM
1

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I don't have a ton of advice because I didn't have morning sickness or libido issues during my pregnancies. I do think ginger is usually good for nausea. Maybe this post would be of interest to you? It sounds like a tricky situation where he hasn't really had time to heal and needs you to reassure him by putting in extra effort when you physically need to be putting in less. You could maybe trying phrasing things as a request to him for help. So instead of "I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 02:14 AM
2

The IRA sounds perfect for you two then! I'm with you on the not keeping secrets. :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/22 02:06 AM
1

Hey OP, have you read this post on how men view sex? It's a great read.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 08:03 PM
5

I recommend trying to meditate or pray or whatever suits you for 5-10 minutes when you wake up and when you go to bed. Think about who you want to be in the morning. Reflect on the day and where you can improve at night. Sometimes life gets in the way. I was sick a couple weeks ago and getting through the days was so hard. I was ashamed of my actions and my temperament. Now that I'm feeling better, I can look back and see that it was just too much and I was too tired. I'm glad some days are easi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 08:01 PM
–

When I was engaged, my grandmother said "be careful what chores you take on your first year of marriage. You'll be stuck doing them forever." I think this sort of applies here. It's good to avoid stepping into a role you don't want, especially since it doesn't seem like you working more is an intentional decision you two made together. I wish you both luck.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 07:54 PM
3

For me personally it'd be like 20k. Enough to cover the hospital bills and a little bit of help until I get settled. But I love kids, especially my own. Pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding were all decent to get through. My body looks the same after two kids and losing the weight was a breeze. It would take much more to convince my husband, I'm guessing.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 07:29 PM
2

Not sure if you saw this post from the other day but it seems relevant. I'm not in a career but I love developing new skills and self-improvement. It can definitely go hand in hand with RPW. :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 06:25 PM
1

If he won't open up about it and you want to stay together, you can simply tell him you're willing to give him a free pass and expect that he's going to cheat. My personal opinion is that if you feel like this is a huge sacrifice that will negatively affect your quality of life, I would ask for something in return. I would not recommend asking to fool around with other people because it doesn't seem that important to you and what he wants is a huge ask that violates social norms. I would think v…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 03:30 PM
5

I understand that you're early in your marriage and this rough patch is filling you with doubt. But is there anything you can do to make this a special time? Something that you wouldn't be able to do if he was working constantly on a new venture? As your business is ramping up, could you see if there's anything you can ask him to help you with or give you advice on? Something that'll make him feel important and inspire respect in you towards him. I'd also see where you can discreetly cut back on…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 03:22 PM
3

I think the most important part about it was her genuine enthusiasm for my company. I love that she enjoyed spending time with me. I'm sure you can model that regardless of whether you let them ditch or not. I might not do it myself - kinda on the fence about trying to homeschool. But if they go to public school, I probably-definitely will too. :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 04:11 AM
5

That's heartbreaking to hear. I'm so sorry you lost your father and who your mother was at such a young age. I hope you can form the family you want and that it fills you with joy.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 03:08 AM
2

There's more to it than commiserating with other men. I was (and am) happily married to my husband when I found the red pill. I've gotten a lot out of it and found a lot of tools to improve my marriage further.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 02:53 AM
11

Your mom sounds lovely. :) I can't think of a ton I do right now since my kids are so little and are always changing, it seems. But I have lovely memories of my mom cooking macaroni in chicken stock when I was sick. She would show up with fast food at my school's lunchtime on Fridays every week. I always looked forward to it, especially in high school when I didn't really have friends to eat with. She'd let me skip school sometimes in high school when things were tough and we'd go grocery shoppi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 02:43 AM
1

I think of femininity as giving strength to those around us. I would therefore say hurting others is a severe lack of femininity. I would describe hyperfemininity as hurting ourselves in the attempt to give to those around us. I think both of these can be toxic. Severely lacking femininity would result in gossiping about others, insulting them, criticizing them, competing with them, exploiting them, etc. Hyperfemininity would result in not being able to voice one's own opinion, not being able to…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 02:35 AM
9

I believe as humans we are capable of wearing many hats, but it helps to be intentional about taking one off and putting another on. My anecdote isn't exactly what you're asking about, but my conduct certainly varies quite a bit if I'm alone with the kids or alone with my husband. In the last year, I also produced an indie game (as a hobby) that required me to hire, fire, and manage people. This required a new type of conduct that I had to learn and grow accustomed to. When you're driving back h…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 02:12 AM
2

Here's a relevant thread on the topic of femininity for you. I gave my answer there but am happy to discuss my definition here as well if you have a question for me. I view submission as intentionally following someone's lead.
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/22 01:41 AM
1

Nearly half of US couples have joint accounts only. If you and your partner want to stay completely or partially separate, that's totally fine. But let's not imply there's financial abuse or coercion going on for the couples who don't. Yes, don't be with someone who is forcing you to make major life decisions against your will. And for the couples who are willingly engaging in just joint accounts, there are still ways to protect yourself if crap hits the fan.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 10:05 PM
2

This is super cute to read. I've only seen video adaptations of Little Women but would like to read the novel someday. It makes me feel better about my husband wanting to work from home forever, despite his work trying to incentivise coming in. Not easy to have an environment conducive to working when there's a baby and a toddler being loud all day. I love that he likes being here. Although, in all likelihood, he probably just hates commuting. XD
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 09:16 PM
1

You will pay penalties on the roth if you withdraw within the first 5 years. This is incorrect. Not on contributions. "During this five-year period, you can still withdraw your original contributions to a Roth IRA without triggering any tax." <sup>https://smartasset.com/retirement/roth-ira-divorce-5-year-ru</sup>le If you're dead set on one of those vehicles being a retirement plan, a 401k at least you can take a loan against and not trigger penalties. You can contribute to a 401k only if you ar…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 07:50 PM
2

You keep missing my point. This is advice on how to ensure you have enough money to get by until you reach a divorce settlement. It's not about the settlement itself. Separate bank accounts will be considered marital property and split up by a judge just like retirement accounts and joint accounts unless you never added/took out money from it during the entirety of your marriage. You won't pay any penalty if you're withdrawing Roth contributions. Depending on what the earnings are used for (such…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 07:28 PM
1

Great points about beneficiaries and having insurance. We're on the same page about secret accounts. I'm also not advocating for them. This part of your comment confuses me: Finally, I need to caution you about the idea that "Because your IRA is solely in your name, your spouse cannot legally withdraw from it." Since the concept of a "secret account" is one that your spouse doesn't know about nor have access to, please look up the acronym QDRO. The first line about it from wikipedia: "A qualifie…
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 06:59 PM
7

No shade to anyone who chooses to go the separate secret account route. It sounds like it's working for you. But it wouldn't work for my own marriage, which is why I'm thrilled that an IRA can fulfill the same purpose without having to hide anything.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 06:22 PM
4

Hey, if you've got something that works for you, keep it. I'm not trying to convince anyone to switch from separate to joint, but I do want to help those with joint accounts make the best decisions they can. I think it's a great thing when we can respect different ways of life and help everyone achieve good outcomes based off the choices they've made. Props to the women in your culture, especially your grandmother. It's fantastic to be good with money. My husband is brilliant at it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 06:11 PM
5

I don't consider it sneaky to perform an action that is beneficial in a wide variety of scenarios. "The Stay Plan is the Go Plan" is a very commonplace saying over at MRP. And sure, the man can contribute to his IRA too. The more the better.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 03:12 PM
3

Sure, that can work. This post is simply geared for people with joint finances. IRAs aren't sneaky.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 02:49 PM
6

You're right that women are more likely to file for divorce. If there's something they can do to reduce the likelihood of ending their marriage (poor finances is one of the most common reasons to split) and simultaneously help them if they do choose to divorce, I'm all for it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/10/22 02:42 PM
1

My husband supports us very, very well financially and is a couple years out from a six figure income. I'm not employed but I have a college degree. I love his frugality. We're swamped in medical bills this year but expect to max our annual retirement account contributions within 1-2 years. Long term we'd like to maintain a 50% savings rate. He wants to retire by 50, and I can't think of anything I'd like more.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/22 01:32 AM
5

My husband didn't turn his ex down for it but it caused a ton of problems in their relationship and largely contributed to their breakup. Her being in the double digits at 17 was a symptom of many psychological issues. He ended up marrying me, a virgin. He is a lot happier.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 09:39 PM
12

You still have plenty of time to vet. Tell him you're stressed and you need his help. Ask him what he's willing to take over. He probably won't handle things as well as you for quite some time. He'll make mistakes. He'll get stressed out. You need to resist the urge to intervene. If he asks you a specific question, answer. If he's basically asking you to do the whole thing for him, refuse. There's nothing wrong with being the wife and being responsible for these things, provided you're happy wit…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/22 09:28 PM
8

I've looked into this before, and in my opinion this is misinformation. Some divorce lawyer came out a couple months ago and said she has a ton of SAHM clients, then a ton of articles came out about that and now some people have the perception that being a SAHM makes divorce more likely. The only actual study I've been able to find is this and there's not much here. In 2012, 20% of SAHMs were "single". This included women who were unmarried, divorced, widowed, separated, or who weren't living wi…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/22 04:29 AM
2

The sound of your baby crying will release cortisol, a stress hormone, in your brain. Getting poor quality sleep is also correlated with irritability and is basically guaranteed to happen for at least the first few months of baby's life. Every stage of life has its difficulties, and there will always be ways to combat them. The decisions we made to get through the newborn stage worked well for my husband and I; we didn't see negative effects on our marriage. I personally really love the baby yea…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 10:04 PM
27

Correlation is not causation. All this means is that the type of people who live together before marriage are also more likely to be the type of people who get divorced. It doesn't necessarily mean that living together makes it more likely a divorce will occur.
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/22 08:54 PM
3

Playfulness. I love how kind my husband is. It's one of my favorite things about him. But it's his sense of humor and how he teases me that really gets me excited.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 07:46 PM
4

Say "I love you", "thank you", and "I'm sorry" regularly.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 07:35 PM
4

So happy to read the exchange between you and u/teaandtalk, I feel like her advice will send you down a good path. I wish you and your family the best as you navigate the times ahead.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 04:38 AM
1

So it sounds like you can be anxious, neurotic, resentful, defensive, uncommunicative, unwilling to improve or admit wrongdoing, critical, controlling, and unhealthy/lacking in self-care. As an internet stranger, I can't tell the frequency and severity of these traits. I can't tell who is being reasonable or unreasonable. Every once in a while is human. Every few days is enough to make anyone miserable. Since you both are calling your marriage an unhappy one, I'm going to guess these are flaws t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 05:45 PM
1

Oops, I must've missed that comment. But yes, I wholeheartedly agree with you. I think highly of surgeries for people who are done having kids. I hear you can even get a tubal ligation right after delivering a baby! Sucks when people change their minds afterwards but hopefully that's the minority. I wish you luck! I hope if you do try something else that the tradeoff is worth it. :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 04:25 PM
1

Is it Because he never played “ the game” when he was this self confident and now he feels like he can do better than me? No. One of the fundamentals of RP thinking is that women have hypergamous urges and men have polygamous urges. Him wanting to sleep with other women in no way means they are better than you. They are just different, and novelty is appealing to both sexes (ie the Coolidge Effect). The most likely reason I see for him now being less willing to suppress his polygamous urges is y…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 04:10 PM
1

While vasectomies can technically be reversed, fertility often takes a hit and can be permanently lost. Surgeries shouldn't be used for temporary pregnancy avoidance, in my opinion, for men or women. Have you looked into the symptothermal method of FAM? I think condoms fill the market for non-hormonal BC that men utilize just fine.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 03:21 PM
6

I've only used FAM/NFP methods. You want to make sure you're tracking your cycle and using the symptothermal method. Rhythm method on its own is only like 70% effective. Symptothermal is around 99%, up there with the pill and condoms. Zero side effects, health bonuses, and helped me get pregnant when I wanted to.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/22 03:13 PM
1

Whoever needs a relationship more is likely to have the harder time. This could be a man with a high sex drive who can't access casual sex easily, or a woman who wants to be a SAHM.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 09:23 PM
5

Yeah, in America the trend is for men to never propose and to cohabitate. Proposing without a ring is very uncommon. I don't consider flowers standard but gifts for major holidays are. I hope you see a significant improvement here. I personally faired well dating to marry, but of course there are so many others who don't. Not saying my advice will make men do what you want, so much as it just helps you vet. Some men are clueless, but some are ungenerous, as you said.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/22 08:38 PM
5

For sure! There are quite literally millions of exceptions, and I'm sure OP can find one of them.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/22 08:30 PM
33

In general, US cites are more liberal and egalitarian than suburban/rural areas. I would wager that what you're used to the Netherlands will be similar to the Chicago dating culture. Expect a big emphasis on drinking and hook-ups. That being said, I'm sure it would possible if you try your luck through dating apps and get a good feel of what to look for. There are some Christian dating apps that might work better if that's applicable. It wasn't too hard for me to find my husband and settle down …
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/22 07:34 PM
4

The number of sexual partners the men I dated had was 0, 1, and 3. I married the guy with 3. I would've married him with 0 in a heartbeat. It has its pros and its cons but hardly played a part in why I wanted to be with him for the rest of my life.
/r/PurplePillDebate13/10/22 02:41 PM
1

Maybe need isn't quite the right word, but I don't think I could be nearly as happy without him as I am with him. He has my respect and admiration; being around him helps me to be the best version of myself that I can. If I had to chose between him or the rest of the world, picking him would be easy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 09:08 PM
–

The waiting for nicer dates or whatnot is fine. Both sets of activities sounded really lovely. But no close friends of the opposite sex that one is hanging out with alone/talking to privately. Personal preference. I extend the same courtesy.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/22 08:49 PM
2

It sounds like your friend wanted to compete with you and win. I kinda think the guy sounds more clueless than a player but I could very well be misinterpreting. He sounds like someone who doesn't know/think he has options (never pursuing you, trying to get back with his ex, susceptible to more aggressive tactics that your friend is doing). I think if he was a player he'd be actively pursuing you and your friend while only keeping his ex around for sex. Either way, if your read is that his not L…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/22 08:09 PM
1

Hmm, that's a good question. I'm thinking golddigger wouldn't be the right word there. It sounds more like unrealistic expectations. There's a famous quote about not attributing to malice what can instead be attributed to ignorance. Most people aren't very good with finances. They often overvalue income and undervalue budgeting. If you asked me if a man should be considered a player because he rejected a woman he was really interested in because the sex was only okay, I think I'd say no. It does…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 08:01 PM
1

Whoever has less options is more likely to settle, regardless of sex. My husband and I both had plenty of options (or at least the perception of being able to get options) and genuinely both feel like we got better than we had hoped for.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 07:37 PM
1

Most will agree it's natural for men to want sex from women and for women to want resources from men. The problem is when that's ALL they want. So yes, an average looking woman can be a golddigger if she's only interested in money and not the man. An average earning guy can be a player if he only uses women for sex and is uninterested in them otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 07:29 PM
9

Short answer, no. I have a hard time talking to women and I am one. I've made first moves in dating but it's way different being a woman approaching a man. If I was a dude for five years, I'd just focus on lifting, advancing my career, and my hobbies. If I'm the male version of myself, I'd be above average looking and would probably do okay provided I built up a bit of muscle. If I was an average looking guy though, that seems super tough. Doesn't help that I never go to bars/clubs. I am religio…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/22 03:29 PM
2

I see. I think that sounds like a good approach, and I'm glad it's working for you so far. I think at this point in my marriage with two little kids, I just want the household to run smoothly. I want to say my piece and trust my husband to decide what's best for the family. I'll gladly give up some power/control for less responsibility. And because I'm putting so much less effort into deliberating what's best, I feel like I get more of what I want/need. I'm not sure whether that's objective real…
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/22 05:29 PM
3

Wow, comments on this post were not what I was anticipating. That's on me for the easily misunderstood write up, I'll see if I can do better next time. But thanks for this, my husband and I got a good chuckle out of it. Good luck getting those hespori seeds, I like that boss. Bottomless compost bucket is a game changer. My husband and I are GIM together.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/22 05:07 PM
2

Great post! I personally think going navy, black, or charcoal on the sheets might be preferable to white. White does have the advantage of being able to bleach but the darker colors are much harder to stain. Nice to not have to worry when things get messy.
/r/TheRedPill09/10/22 04:36 PM
2

The next time you want a heartfelt compliment, give him a heartfelt compliment. The next time you want him to do an activity with you that you think would be fun, ask him what he would like to do together and do that instead.
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 04:05 PM
1

They’re the female version of male feminists who white-knight for women At first, I was tempted to suggest that this is likely a better relationship strategy for women than it is a sexual strategy for men. In general, I do believe it's attractive and advantageous in the dating market to be sympathetic to the opposite sex's struggles. Men self identifying as feminist is too far for me. Maybe women self identifying as MRAs is too far for men? Would it turn off the average man, and only appeal to d…
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/22 03:12 PM
6

As someone who was/is a young, submissive, virginal wife, I can tell you that there are plenty of other qualities my husband appreciates about me, likely much more so. Focus on what is within your control. How can you treat your man better? What makes him feel respected and loved?
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/22 06:05 PM
2

I think the united front becomes an impediment when two people have fundamental incompatibilities. In a previous relationship, our timeline for marriage and kids differed by about a decade. We did both want each other to be happy and suggested hefty compromises, such as me suggesting I financially support him through higher education and him suggesting I work abroad for a couple years. He was a good listener and empathized with me. It felt very supportive and collaborative, which is a lot of why…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/22 05:52 PM
2

I think of it more like that there are three types of conflict: You and me vs the problem: regardless of whether or not the two people agree, the problem will persist and is likely external. The two people are clearly on the same side and have to solve the problem together. An example of this would be a death in the family or an illness. You vs me: there is no actually solvable problem here, it's just two people with conflicting opinions/beliefs. Useful for finding out how someone feels when it'…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/22 06:48 PM
9

I'm so sorry for what happened to you, I can't imagine what it must feel like to have lost little Pea. I wish you comfort and a rainbow baby.
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 10:12 PM
1

But some stuff needs to be argued back and fort, just so you can both understand each other and hash out a plan that takes both views into consideration. I don't agree you need to argue to have this result. It's not about who is right, it's about what is right. I agree with this. It's a big part of why I didn't say it's about who is the best lawyer, but rather what is the best case that serves the higher goal of both parties. Of course, if arguments are approached like two lawyers arguing over a…
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 04:04 PM
3

What are your husband's hobbies? Any chance you could join in, or at least hang out with him while you each do your own thing?
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/22 03:06 PM
1

A good man who wants to be in charge should try to do what is best for the relationship. It's about resolving a conflict in the way that best serves the relationship. I agree with this, and believe my post made these points already. I think one person deciding is quicker and will result in a higher percentage of optimal solutions, depending of the character of the decision maker. Two good people who want to be in an egalitarian dynamic should try to do what is best for the relationship. Ultimate…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 10:29 PM
20

My personal views on your age gap and the fact he's been an adult in your life since puberty are negative. You have the same age gap as my dad and I, actually, so it's a bit weird for me to imagine. When I was 18, I was interested in settling down, but I also felt like I had a decent grasp of all the different life paths I could choose instead. I want this for you. It seems like you could be choosing him because you haven't interacted with a lot of other men. As you are coming into contact with …
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 09:50 PM
2

RMV stands for Relationship Market Value. If your sexual market value is how pleasant you are to look at, your relationship market value is how pleasant you are to spend time with. There's a ton of great advice in the sidebar on how to raise RMV, even if they're not strictly dedicated to it. I hope you find some things that interest you. :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 05:18 PM
2

Happy I could help. :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 05:06 PM
1

Yeah, stereotypes suck. I'm sure you don't fit that mode. Rooting for you. :)
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 05:03 PM
1

It's not even a guarantee for that! My husband received a full scholarship plus a stipend of 6k a year to attend his university. Crazy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 04:51 PM
1

as long as the guy has a good job (plenty of well-paying/respectful jobs don't require degrees) and is presentable Pretty much. When I was dating, I was looking for a man whose income (or potential income) could support a family. Back then I would've said I wanted "someone as smart as me or smarter". Now I think it's more apt to say "someone I can respect and admire". There's a lot of fields of expertise out there; a man doesn't need to be as book smart as me. Take this with a grain of salt. I e…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 04:49 PM
2

Maybe. When I read explanations of egalitarian relationships, it often reads like two individuals each fighting for their own benefit. "You got xyz privilege and I should get it too" type situations. Even if fighting is rare, when two people have equal decision making power there is no simple way to end it. You have to base the decision off something, and I think for a lot of people that's how well you can explain your side and convince the other person of it. But yes, I also prefer a male-led r…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 01:08 PM
1

I cared about body count when I was dating. Wasn't the top priority or anything, but I think there's insight to be gleaned from that information for sure. I can promise you, as a young, above average looking woman, it wouldn't have been hard for me to go out and get laid.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/10/22 10:51 PM
17

Being with my ex completely destroyed my self worth. No matter how many times someone says I'm beautiful, I refuse to believe it. What you're suffering from is called negativity bias. This is a normal aspect of human nature, and it serves a valuable purpose. I feel that my self worth is solely based on the amount of male attention that I'm getting (so it's very low, lol). I’m just worried that I’m objectively below average and I’ll never find a man who’s attracted to me, meaning I’d end up singl…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 10:43 PM
-1

Perhaps I stumbled upon TRP/MRP a little too late. Most TRP comments I read are just people complaining the sub is a shadow of its former self. MRP is ugly but I appreciate the "lift or STFU" type sentiments. Keeps out a lot of the guys who just want to complain about how the world/women are but don't want to do anything about it.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 04:31 PM
1

You've given me a lot to think about, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and experience. The conclusion that I'm drawing is that regardless of what point someone is at in life, liking who someone could be in the future is not enough. You've gotta like being with them in the present. The bigger the disparity between who they are and who they want to be, the more challenging this could be. I'm going to edit my original comment. I think I can think of a better answer now than I did the other da…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 04:13 PM
3

I remember that post - really glad you found what you needed to hear and that things are good between the two of you. :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 02:36 PM
2

Practical tips: If you want to keep seeing this guy, you need to have your dates in public. Kissing while standing up only. Not sitting, not laying down. Never let things shift from standing.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 02:52 AM
1

Sadly I missed out on asktrp. I've heard great things. I think TRP has a saying about women waiting at the finish line, right? There's a solid rationale for that. I personally prefer spotting who's doing well halfway through and supporting him the rest of the way. But of course, I'd say that, that's what I did. Super biased.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 02:33 AM
1

I don't know if your boyfriend is anything like my husband, but mine hates feeling obligated to perform. He'll turn me down if he can tell I'm trying to arouse him. However, if I straight up asked him to do stuff just to me, he would in a heartbeat, and in usually results in sex anyway. Have you ever tried asking him to please you? I sympathize with your situation quite a bit. I know what it's like to be the one who wants more. Casual nudity usually gets me a lot of attention. I'll sit beside hi…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 02:17 AM
1

I totally see where you're coming from, the amount of replies to commenters I see that disparage marriage/being a present father are so disheartening. I guess with TRP, I don't see as much of the journey. I see men at the start and men at the finish. I don't have a ton of confidence that most will make it from one end to the other. At MRP, I can see them at all stages, and can go full-on creeper through a commenter's post history and watch the advice take hold over the years. I love that. 100% a…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 01:48 AM
2

Thank you very much!
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 12:44 AM
1

I spend a fair bit of time over there! I enjoy reading the OYS threads quite a bit. There are some men I wouldn't want to be in the same room as, and others I admire. I enjoy the strong focus on self-improvement if nothing else.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/22 12:37 AM
1

MRP? I could see that possibly working out. TRP? Probably not. RP men and BP women tend to be focused on how best to protect their own interests, and more power to them. But this tends to butt heads with the needs of a typical relationship. I would think the same tactics still apply. Being aware of your nature doesn't mean you've overcome it. I personally prefer my purple-y husband.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/22 05:07 AM
1

I'm confident I could craft numerous hypotheticals where you'd agree cheating is the better of bad options. People's ability to consider extenuating circumstances is a beautiful thing. I think it's often wise to positively reinforce behavior you want and negatively reinforce behavior you don't. I hope you don't end up in that situation either way.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/22 03:05 AM
1

Perhaps men don't want to break their families apart and lose access to their children. There could be tons of scenarios where different priorities require serious consideration. That comment isn't saying men have the right to cheat, or that they even should. It's just explaining that some men might feel tempted to, who otherwise wouldn't, if they were neglected. This is a normal part of human nature. Most of us would do terrible things we'd rather not do if it was the better of two bad options.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 09:57 PM
1

You're going to want an immersion blender. It does the job of a regular blender/food processor at a fraction of the size and price. If you regularly eat rice, a rice cooker is a great convenience. Besides that, there probably isn't a ton of gear you'll want that a decently-stocked kitchen would be lacking. A couple of cutting boards, chef's knives, pots, pans, baking sheets, wooden spoons, spatulas, and a colander are basics you'll want to own or borrow. Woks and cast iron skillets are nice but …
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 09:43 PM
6

Hey OP, I recommend watching the anime Fruits Basket. It's age appropriate and there's a great feminine role model there for you as the main character. It meant so much to me when I was your age to find someone who embodied qualities I really admired, such as empathy. Go easy on yourself, and go easy on others as you try to figure out your place in the world.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 05:41 PM
8

100% agree.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 01:34 PM
1

Again, that's not what gaslighting is. Gaslighting is NOT disagreeing. Let's go back to the movie Gaslight, where the term originated. When the husband is in the attic trying to steal jewelry, the gaslights are affected. The wife thinks the lights are connected to activity in the attic, and even hears footsteps. When she questions her husband about it, he says he was not in the attic and she questions her sanity. If he was actually up in the attic (as he is in the movie), his behavior is gasligh…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 01:13 PM
1

Absolutely no evidence he manipulated her.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 12:55 PM
1

Being defensive can be a natural response to perceived criticism. I'd give him a day or so to calm down and reflect before talking to him about what your relationship should look like. Tell him it's important to you that you have a relationship where you will listen to each other when there is something that is upsetting you. Tell him you want a relationship where you will alter your behavior for each other even if you don't think you did anything wrong, but it bothers the other. This link is ab…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 12:53 PM
1

Gaslighting is intentional manipulation. Disagreeing over what happened does not make it gaslighting. She could interpret his actions as disrespectful, and he could not. That doesn't make him manipulative and framing it this way is not helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/22 12:35 PM
6

Biggest problem I see here is that you never clearly laid out what you want to him. You asked him what he thought and then didn't like his answer. This is backwards. If you want to be in a male-led relationship, you need to tell him what it is you want and see what he does with that information.
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/22 01:26 PM
5

My younger sister has naturally black hair and is very pale. She will wear skirts and dresses but more than half her wardrobe is black. She's super artistic and is currently studying sociology. At the same time, she's very conservative. She was putting the rest of our conversation family to shame for awhile, haha.
/r/RedPillWives30/09/22 01:52 PM
-1

I know all men have this fantasy of a woman who only becomes a freak for them but that’s just not reality. If you enjoy something you seek it out. This definitely can happen, in my experience. A lot of women believe the studies that show casual sex not being fulfilling for women. Therefore they seek out LDRs and marriage for it's own sake as well as the sexual component. When polled, religious married women are the demographic happiest with their sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/22 10:19 PM
2

Thank you very much! :D
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 05:18 PM
1

I'm really glad it meant something to you. :) This is pessimistic of me, but I imagine there's a very real possibility that the trade off for you enforcing your boundary is semipermanent damage to the relationship between your husband and baby, if you two decide to start trying. After all, baby will have almost cost your husband his marriage. He probably won't be enthusiastic about any of this entire process. This won't last forever. Kids are pretty freaking lovable, even with all the screaming.…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 05:18 PM
1

Oof. The line has been drawn. Your husband's biggest fear has already come true: things aren't fun anymore, and he won't be able to enjoy this next year. You are taking away a big priority, his freedom, and hoping he'll reward you with a baby for it. In the future, I would pull out phrases like, "I can't see myself staying in a marriage without kids" "I'm really unhappy with how things are" before throwing down the gauntlet. But I'm nitpicking. The most likely scenario I see happening is he has …
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 03:07 PM
1

Maybe this post would be of interest to you?
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 03:35 PM
0

Oh no problem! I always feel like my advice is more solid when I can find an OG post to link back to. :)
/r/RedPillWomen26/09/22 03:28 PM
6

It would bother me more that he had an IG in the first place. That would indicate a mismatch of values. The liking other local girls thing I'm not threatened by. I wouldn't police it. If I need more attention I'll tell him.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 07:15 PM
1

When dating, you should inquire as to how the other person would like to be treated, and treat them that way. You can start with how you would like to be treated as a basis, and go from there. Try to learn from their reactions as well as their words.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 04:54 PM
8

When I spy on male spaces, I find that their dialect towards each other is crude and degrading. It's not that they treat each other better than they treat women, it's that they treat each other worse but don't care. The more sensitive ones who can't take the heat have a terrible time and often leave. It's very interesting. I could never speak to another women the way that men speak to each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 04:46 PM
2

Keep that fear. It'll help you remain vigilant. It's now your responsibility to ensure you have the mental state necessary for you to love him and view him in a positive light. Use the love and fear you feel as fuel to treat him well. Keep using RPW for tools on how to treat your man in a way men like. I have a similar fear that one day I will grow complacent and stop appreciating my husband for the wonderful and attractive man he is. He is beyond my wildest dreams as a partner. I don't know wha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/22 02:46 PM
1

He can value, care for me, and prioritize me without putting me on a pedestal. I know from experience, and prefer this kind of love.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/22 02:20 PM
1

I recommend checking out this post and looking for the acronym LHL. This is the relationship dynamic you are describing. Essentially, there's nothing wrong with being the leader provided you like the dynamic and ensure your partner's needs are attended to as well. This is your responsibility as the leader.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/22 11:25 PM
1

Yeah, I've noticed that trend on that sub. At the same time, I see a plethora of stories from women who had frequent, amazing sex in previous relationships but aren't attracted to their current partner at all on RPW. Also a lot of stories on MRP where the husband steadily becomes more attractive and his wife becomes more interested in sex. This ties into what you said - they need a reason. Sex drive almost acts as a floor and desire as a ceiling.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 10:53 PM
6

I talk about my significant other, or describe what I want in a significant other and it doesn't match you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 08:18 PM
4

I would care, if I were single. My preference is someone capable of great sexual success who chooses not to indulge in it. I like a competent man. I also like one with self-restraint.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 08:13 PM
1

That is very interesting! I do think testosterone is a huge part of one's sex drive. I also find it interesting to read stories of men and women who describe themselves as being low libido in some relationships and high libido in others. A lot of this is just anecdotal, but it's fascinating to me to hear just how much of an impact different relationship dynamics can have on the same individual's sex life.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 08:08 PM
1

Then perhaps it'd be more accurate to say that sex drive and desire are two separate things that make up libido. In my life, I think I have a very low sex drive. It's rare I feel a physical need for sex or for pleasure. However, I want to have sex with my husband so often that it almost became a point of contention between us. Sometimes just glancing at him from across the room is enough. Eventually I realized this was almost entirely psychological. I desire him so much and find sex so emotional…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 07:45 PM
1

Your takeaway fascinates me. I do value honesty, very much so, but was trying to describe how I value self-improvement. It can even turn into perfectionism at times. I've never considered these traits to be connected, so it's really interesting to me that you picked up on this. Thank you for your insight! :)
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 07:34 PM
1

You can think that, but it wouldn't be a correct assessment. I submit because I want to submit, and I am with a man who leads because I want to be led. I believe me being female makes it more likely I would enjoy this dynamic, but it's not inevitable.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 05:43 PM
1

To me, I associate worship with God, a higher being that is said to already be perfect. Therefore, if someone were to worship me, I would interpret this to mean they thought I was perfect, or as close to it as I was going to get. I find this absolutely demoralizing. I'd like to be loved for who I am as well as who I can become. My husband and I are very happy in our marriage now, but we would both like to grow and encourage that in each other. I would be worried that someone incredibly devoted t…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 05:39 PM
1

This is interesting to me. I'm convinced people often conflate libido with desire and that these are two separate concepts.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 05:19 PM
1

I'd go for B. A doesn't sound bad, but worshipping is off putting. If the only thing different was the sexual history, I'd go A.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 05:13 PM
1

Then you don't have a true equal egalitarian relationship, which I think is what OP is trying to get at. It's an extreme. Input would have to be the same. Just as female-led and male-led relationships have an extreme, one that is often not accurate to the majority, so do egalitarian ones. Chasing an ideal has diminishing returns. In my relationship, neither has the more important voice, both our desires are equally valid, we're not necessarily confined to gender roles, I'm not unilaterally sacri…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 04:50 PM
2

1ish. I've been with my husband for four years now. In my previous relationship from five years ago, we went as far as oral.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 02:42 AM
1

Why do you assume I think it's bad? I think it becomes increasingly impractical the more you take it to the extreme. A relationship where everything is truly equal and egalitarian would mean each person's input is exactly the same. Not just splitting chores, not just taking turns loading the dishwasher, but making sure the amount of dishes you load and unload matches. At some point, it becomes silly. I'm in a male-led relationship, and we also get all the free time we need and get what we want. …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 10:29 PM
1

What I am having difficulty comprehending is how would this ideal guy (or close to it) that most talk about here behave in a relationship, in the beginning, as it progresses, when they move together and have to make decisions, dealing with in-laws and finally when they decide to have their 2.5 kids. RPW here, married with 2 kids. We follow the Captain/First Mate Dynamic. Our decision-making goes as follows: we both share what we think, and ultimately he gets the final say. He's very logical and …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 10:13 PM
1

Tohru Honda.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:50 PM
1

The norm is being married by 30. 30 is late, at least in the US. 28-29 is average. I'd say that's a poor quality discussion to determine what the best age to date as a woman is. Filtering out mid-twenties will make it very hard to glean anything valuable. I maintain that all else being equal most men would prefer the younger woman. That caveat doesn't seem to have been included in the discussion either.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:24 PM
1

Early twenties is on the younger side, sure. Most people in both of our families were married by their late twenties. Late twenties is the average age to be married, 30 would be late. I'm curious, why didn't you ask whether they would date someone who was 20, 24, or 27? Why rule out the possibility of women in their mid-twenties being the most desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 08:01 PM
1

I'm saddened it's harder for men to receive regular human touch.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 07:07 PM
1

Everyone wants to maximize the SMV/RMV of their partner. Men might assume they're trading a small loss in SMV for a large increase in RMV when you ask them 20 vs 27. If you prefaced your question with "emotional maturity and values being the same" don't you think the answer would change? The best time to date is when your combined SMV/RMV is peaking. My husband and I were both attractive and ready to settle down at 20. We consider ourselves lucky to have found each other, as neither one of us wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/09/22 06:55 PM
3

Great comment Sunshine, I think you hit the nail on the head. I love reading your take on things.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 05:42 PM
9

Either there's something you can improve upon, or you just have to play the numbers game. I'd bet on the former, but that's just me. There's plenty of men in their thirties who want to settle down. We've had plenty of success stories from women in their early thirties. It's certainly possible; dating will always be demoralizing but it's worth pushing through.
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:54 PM
1

My last relationship with an RP man ended because me advancing my education and career caused serious issues with him. I remember a time in my childhood when my father decided to go back to school for his master's degree while working full-time with three kids. My mom was a SAHM. Though he was increasing his skills and value in certain areas, he also took on another priority. It came before our family at times. My mother wasn't exactly thrilled. No man wants to come second to your education and …
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:44 PM
9

If I were you, I would try saying something along the lines of "I really like where this is going. I'd like to see you more, even if it's a twenty minute meet up at Starbucks before work, or a short phone call before bed. I'd like to be a part of your life." Bring him your problem. See how he handles it. It's worth asking if his work will always be this busy. Maybe he's gearing up for a promotion, or summer is an especially hectic season. Otherwise, you'll have to ask yourself if the positives o…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:27 PM
6

As far as setting the course goes - if a RPW wants the family to take a different path that the husband isn't really into what do you suggest she do? Express her desire and then let it go? Pretty much. You can control your actions, and how you feel about your husband's actions. That's it. In my case, I told my husband my express wishes to be married in the Church and raise my children in the Church from the get-go. He still doesn't really want to go to Mass with me and even baptising our childre…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:11 PM
13

In more specific terms, how can you show submission? I'd like to add a couple ideas to your list! When you both have the same problem, try implementing his solution first and see how that goes. My husband and I once went to a grocery pickup with the baby in the car. They never came out with our stuff. We waited like 45 minutes, and during half that time I started directing him on numbers to try and call while he wanted to go home. This had never happened before so I was worried we'd lose the foo…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 02:04 PM
15

This comes across like you feel entitled to this new guy's money and are using him. What are you giving him in return? Do you feel like because you're not attracted to him, that your time is more valuable? He also deserves to be treated well. As high value ladies or women what kind of dating do you expect? I expect someone's enthusiastic attention. I'm giving them my time, they are giving me theirs. As far as money goes, I believe it's impolite to insist on paying for my half of the meal but alw…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 05:39 PM
3

Here's a post on assertiveness from the sidebar. It sounds like you're doing a great job being assertive when you absolutely have to be. You just need to do so earlier, before things can build up so much. Make a rule for yourself that you'll bring something up that bothers you as soon as you see it's become a pattern. People aren't that great at changing their habits, so gentle reminders every now and then instead of one big conflict is the way to go. I recommend being agreeable unless there's s…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 02:42 PM
4

Hmm...I think the best thing might be to tell him that you appreciate his love and support, and that you'll tell him if you need his help, but right now you're okay. If you really want to get a hobby, maybe start with baking or reading something that interests you. Libraries often have storytimes for babies, so you could check out something when you and baby are up for an outing!
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 01:41 AM
5

Okay OP, your comment history has shown you're having an affair with your friend's husband, which is basically universally condemnable. As you now know beyond a doubt, nobody likes a homewrecker. You also know the problem: envy. Envy is where you cannot be happy when good things happen to others, regardless of whether or not you want the thing they have. And news flash: you don't want her husband. You don't want a man who'd have his head turned so easily and destroy your trust in him. I think yo…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/22 01:21 AM
1

Because of perfectionist tendencies, or a need to control, or a need to establish power, etc. My husband and I were recently invited to have dinner at my husband's boss's house. During the evening, his wife criticized him for placing the plates on one side of the island and not the other. It didn't matter AT ALL but she still felt the need to nag. Everyone there was capable of walking the extra two feet, but I guess she had to prove she would've set things up slightly more efficiently.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 09:17 PM
2

Great post! I enjoyed reading this :)
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/22 03:21 PM
4

I really hope you find what you're looking for. I'm rooting for you
/r/TheRedPill21/09/22 02:37 PM
3

I would say it can have both feminine and masculine components, depending on the leadership style. "Lead and they will follow" type sentiments lean more masculine. Prioritizing group harmony when making decisions leans more feminine. As for building up others, I think it would depend on the toll it took on the leader. Someone like Jordan Peterson who can attend live crowds of thousands just to hear him say what he thinks about stuff probably feels very powerful and strong because he can positive…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 01:38 PM
10

If I were you, I'd pick up something easy and relatively stress-free like being a receptionist and save almost my entire salary. Put that nest egg towards the down payment or having kids, something that would help my family and display to my SO how serious I was about building a future together. I have never been a not-pregnant SAHW, but I would expect you would need to be very attractive and very pleasant to be around in order to be seen by your SO as an asset and not a liability.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 05:05 AM
8

This reads to me like he's trying to fall back on you just for sex because he's not that successful elsewhere and he wants to be sexually active. I'm failing to imagine less attractive behavior than this. I'm not going to advise casual dating because I have no experience on the matter and serious dating worked well for me. You're never too young to figure out what you want and how to pursue it. You won't regret chasing your goals, but you will regret chasing meaningless stuff for no real reason …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/22 04:48 AM
3

I think HVM has it's own use that Alpha/Beta can't fill. I personally would be fine not using the term, but it'll create a void. Alpha/Beta seems to be more subjective, to each woman her own preference of the mix of the two. Sure, some women might want to brag about how much alpha they can handle, but RPW does a decent job of explaining the upsides and downsides to both. HVM seems to be trying to be an objective term to describe how likely it is that the majority of women will desire this man on…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 07:35 PM
2

It sounds like they felt disrespected and then acted disrespectful. You can either apologize for what they assumed to be a slight against them, or not. It sounds like you don't really want them in your life anyway.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 07:16 PM
10

I think what happened to you is terrible. But I think there's a piece of this that's missing. And that's your part in it. He would every night tell me how lonely he was and was the black sheep of his family, everyone hated him, he was depressed etc liked him as friend and empathized his misery and talking for a whole year You felt needed. Then I eventually fell for his words like he would every midnight tell me how lonely he was and he hugs a pillow and thinks of it as me, he would tell when he …
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 07:10 PM
6

What a great second half to the previous repost! I feel like a learned a lot from this. You may have a greater awareness of his masculinity, as well as your own submission/deference, and this may have led to your man exhibiting more alpha traits since he is free to be himself. The elimination of negative beta traits, and the increase of positive alpha traits, makes him a Greater Beta :) Wow, this really stood out to me. This cements in my mind that my husband is a Greater Beta and we're probably…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 06:55 PM
4

u/SunshineSundress has a great post on that! It swaps Madonna/whore for Alpha/Beta.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 06:27 PM
8

This was a great read, one I haven't read before! I appreciate the repost. I'd say my relationship is somewhere between HLH and LLL. I need a lot of affirmation from my husband as well as his advice and guidance. I couldn't be with a man unwilling to exercise influence/soft control over my life, but I don't like displays of anger/aggression outside of the bedroom.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 06:13 PM
6

I think of masculinity as things that embolden/strengthen yourself and femininity as things that embolden/strengthen others. Therefore, lacking masculinity would be knocking yourself down. Lacking femininity would be you pulling down others. Everyone should have some amount of both. I admit I haven't given it a ton of thought until your post, so I'm mostly just pulling this out of my butt. However, I get my image of femininity from an animated TV character named Tohru Honda. She's the epitome of…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/22 04:23 AM
1

I like AliExpress for my clothes!
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/22 06:48 PM
16

I wouldn't recommend becoming serious with someone you feel no attraction for. But I do believe attraction can be somewhat flexible. I've witnessed my views of someone's physical attractiveness wan or grow due to my opinion of their character, albeit not by a ton. My advice would be to amp up the playfulness of your conversations. See if you can tease out a dark sense of humor or a hint of a sexual kink. Most of us put our best, most straight-and-narrow foot forward in dating for fear of scaring…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 03:12 PM
1

I have tried many things and realized that for better or worse - I can’t make him do anything. This is true. This situation is different from anything I have experience in, but here is what I would recommend: You get whatever you need to take care of you (toys, porn, whatever) and really make an event of it. Invite your husband to watch and to talk with you. Invite him to cuddle with you after or to take a shower together. If he doesn't feel like it, tell him that's completely okay, and ask him …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 03:01 PM
1

I'd do whatever it takes to stick to your original school timeline. Don't worry about what happens if you fail, you will figure that out if it comes to that. I'm concerned you'll keep pushing the date back and your situation will only continue to worsen. This is what you need to focus on right now. Don't download a dating app. They exacerbate anxiety and insecurity. You'll be put in situations with men you aren't ready for, and they won't be as polite as they would be in public. Pick one outing …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 02:42 PM
1

Well, you know him best. My husband also has a lot of anxiety. Stress is probably affecting things but since he's always had an anxious temperament his libido has been fairly constant. Did your husband become noticeably more anxious around the time his libido dropped? I don't know if you're looking for a suggestion, but maybe CBD could help. Also, you could try a back massage. I've been teaching myself how to give one and my husband really seems to de-stress from it!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 01:36 PM
3

You would be prioritizing another man over him, demonstrating that he doesn't get any control over what men you talk to without him around. I personally would be devastated if my husband did this to me. It would be a massive breach of trust. Regardless of the sexual component, I would expect all of your priorities to come into conflict with your relationship at some point. You'll have to decide what comes out on top. I think it's worth noting that you won't completely lose the friend, you'll jus…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 01:26 PM
1

I think it depends a little on how much effort the man is expected to put into having sex. If a ton of foreplay is expected every time, it might be easier for a man to just masturbate when he feels the urge. If sex can just be a quick five minute thing sometimes, he'll probably want intercourse a lot more frequently. I think it can be tough for couples to find that balance of quality/quantity, especially when private masturbation is on the table. That being said, my husband is a 2-3 times a week…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/22 12:55 AM
4

As long as you're never contacting the friend privately, and your boyfriend is in complete control of you two seeing each other, there shouldn't be a problem. So what exactly is he asking you to back off from? OP, I want you to ask yourself how you'd react if your boyfriend trampled all over one of your clearly set boundaries, then doubled down and said "well I forgot/didn't think you meant it", then tripled down and said "well I've realized I like violating your boundary and want to keep doing …
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 09:40 PM
4

I think everyone wants the best partner they can get. Men will gladly wife up a hot woman provided she has a decent RMV to go along with it. They'll also gladly marry a women with a lower SMV if her RMV is high. Good for you for working on yourself and attracting a great partner!
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 06:34 PM
3

I'm happy you're happy. What a lovely feeling! Try to kindle this little flame every day - my husband and I have been together four years and we still feel like we're in a honeymoon stage. Though you may have to work to cultivate it, you can keep this feeling going for years to come! :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 06:31 PM
5

Something I had to learn in my marriage was that I can't force my husband to do something he'd rather not do, and expect him to be happy about it. This is fantasy. Realistically, these are your options: - You can do what you want to do without him (provided this isn't something that'll sabotage the relationship, like hanging out with other men) - You do what he wants to do, and are happy about it (this may lead to him returning the favor someday, but not necessarily) - You negotiate/obligate him…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/22 06:23 PM
1

I think a lot of self-righteousness stems from thinking your right and the other is wrong. One practical way of combating this is to really learn the other's point of view. Will you find something that convinces you? Maybe not. But even if you don't learn anything, you'll gain insight into how bad sources, misinformation, greed, anecdotal evidence, selfishness, etc effect people. That's only human; we all have our blindspots.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/22 05:01 PM
8

I doubt it. Here's my take: Desirable men can and will gatekeep relationships. Women can either rise to those standards if they think the man is worth the effort, or they won't. I believe a lot will. Therefore, we should have a minority of the population in happy relationships between high quality women and men. The more men capable/willing of becoming high quality and pursuing relationships there are, the more quality relationships society will have. So what happens to the less desirable men an…
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/22 04:46 PM
6

Perhaps receptionist in a doctor/dentist office? Something like an ultrasound tech or a dental hygienist takes more work to become but they will pay much better.
/r/RedPillWomen12/09/22 02:09 PM
15

Very interesting read, I'm glad you commented. My husband has told me with both his words and his actions that he prefers my company to his male friends. His friends are pretty cool. I'm tempted to chalk that up to femininity and a willingness to learn how to raid in a semi-sweaty WoW guild, but maybe he's just built a little different. Either way, I'm glad he wants me around as much as he does.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 10:23 PM
1

I absolutely do tell him that I know that the behavior is unacceptable, because it is. It's great that you tell him this. But I think it's important that he says it to you. It'll hit different. It'll sting a little. I think it'll do you both good. But this is all personal advice. The help of the therapist you're seeing is superior to what I can offer. I admire your determination to be better, and I wish you and your husband very well.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 09:27 PM
1

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. I suspect the reason your husband is letting you get away with this is his insecurity. I find insecure people often mistake negativity with honesty. I would bet money that your husband remembers what you are angrily screaming at him. Even if the rational part of him knows you say it's not true when you're feeling normal, there's a little peace of him that wonders. It's emotional scarring, and it can last years and years. Two things you need to tel…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 08:35 PM
3

We're about to start OIT treatment for my son's allergies. That would be a possible long term solution. Might be worth looking into! As for the short term, cabbage is your friend! I've made cabbage wrapped steamed dumplings before for, lettuce wraps, and cabbage wrapped enchiladas. They're all pretty good!
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/22 01:49 PM
7

There's interesting studies on parenting where fathers are shown to make rules for their children and enforce them (things like bed time and eating vegetables) much easier than mothers. Women will break down and negotiate if her child attempts to evoke empathy. I believe this is one example of how men tend to make decisions logically, and women tend to emotionally. I believe the former system is much easier for everyone involved to understand. It's hard to follow rules when they're always changi…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/22 04:42 AM
2

He still takes CBD! It's been on and off over the past year or so. It's been nice for him to have around during stressful times at work and such. I think the dosage can vary from product to product - some are more concentrated than others. He takes a little eyedropper full of liquid CBD. I'm not sure what medication the psychiatrist prescribed was. I do remember that the first medicine my husband tried has bad side effects and introduced episodes of hyper-mania. The second one was much better an…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/22 01:52 AM
16

I don't know if this anecdote will be helpful, but my husband struggles with bad anxiety. It runs in his family. When we started dating he was even on prescribed medication from a psychiatrist, though he went off of it years ago. He has always been a great partner to me; I've always felt like I get more than I give. I have a lot of respect for him and how he's overcome the obstacles in his life. He also was cheated on, and never treated me badly because of it. The reason I mention this is becaus…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/22 03:54 AM
16

if she feels the need for other male attention (even friends) AWALT. I'd say a man's need to have sex with as many women as possible is similar to a woman's need for as many men as possible to desire her. It sounds very hard to find someone without that urge. It sounds much easier to find someone who acknowledges it and wishes to avoid it by rarely, if ever, hanging out with men privately either online and in real life. Or at least agreeing to whatever standards you set.
/r/TheRedPill06/09/22 06:08 PM
17

You're exactly right. Modern society is telling women they should chase casual sex and men they should chase monogamous LTRs. Whoever figures out that this is going against their natural instincts and adapts accordingly has their pick of a partner/plate.
/r/TheRedPill06/09/22 03:26 PM
1

Oh, interesting! Mine was maybe 10 hours overall with the majority of it taken up by group lectures. Similar context to what you described. I definitely felt like the main focus on mine was just to make sure people didn't marry without having a serious discussion on the major marriage issues (kids, finances, etc), but they just pointed out the topics and left couples to discuss privately. I appreciate you telling me about your experience! I didn't realize it would vary so much. I went through mi…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 10:54 PM
1

I went through Catholic Pre-Cana and it's far from therapy. It's a relatively brief preparation course. It's helpful and I recommend it but I don't think that's an apt comparison.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 10:41 PM
3

When I bring things up a day later or few days later, he gets upset with me that i didn't try to resolve it in the moment. When I try to explain how I'm feeling in the moment i tense up and can say things I regret, or cry and really struggle to get words out. I relate to this completely, and my husband reacts the same way. I can't say we're all the way out of the tunnel, but here's some conversations we had that helped: I've told him why I freeze up when I feel myself getting emotional, why I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 09:10 PM
25

I hate feminism. I feel like it's just encouraging women to adopt men's interests, career fields, and sexual habits. I can't think of anything more misogynistic than telling women they need to be more like men to be better women.
/r/TheRedPill05/09/22 02:54 PM
2

Eh, some of what I've read about shit-testing suggests it can be subconscious a lot of the time. Mine is very witty, and him choosing to push my buttons is rare.
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 02:08 AM
9

There are many examples like this, and I say 'ouch' and then don't feel like talking for a bit, and this annoys him and we go on a silent treatment for an hour that can completely ruin the day. It's difficult for me in the moment to let it go and even if he apologises, i need a few minutes to calm down but he doesn't like this and thinks i should get over it immediately. I can relate to this. I know patience is an ongoing struggle for my husband. Try saying "I need a few minutes, please be patie…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 03:34 PM
8

I remember OP posting a few days ago about having complications with her BC removal. For some added context to this, in that post she mentioned her husband is still in university. Not saying he shouldn't also be working/cleaning, but he's not doing absolutely nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 02:44 PM
1

If you're referring to the sexual fantasy, it's not possible for me to grant. All I have to offer is discussion, and I do.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/22 01:55 PM
6

How wonderful! My husband and I once agreed we should date a year before getting engaged. He proposed after six months. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 08:53 PM
1

I'm so happy for you both! Really rooting for you two :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 08:52 PM
1

Nope. It's not possible for me to grant his fantasy. We just like telling each other everything, especially the messy bits.
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 12:00 PM
5

There's a lot of background information here I don't think is too important to go into, provided the work situation isn't so volatile after nearly a decade. It seems other comments have given validation on that, and since you asked for specific advice on control/support I'll focus there. The good news is you and your husband both appear to be down with moving to a Captain/First Mate dynamic. It's great that you want the same things and can build a path forward together. So I know what I have to …
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 04:20 AM
2

AliExpress is very affordable ($15-$25) with a large selection, but does have downsides. Shipping takes around a month Site can be a little tricky to get used to It can be hard to find clothes if you're over medium size/c cup You won't have much luck returning items I swear by it but it's not for everyone. Plenty of cute stuff like this and this
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 03:53 PM
2

I added a link to the post! Hope that helps
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 11:49 AM
1

I added a link for you :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 11:49 AM
2

Banter is typically defined as being an exchange of teasing; it's a two-way street. Since I didn't tease him back, I wouldn't call it that.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 11:40 AM
2

Thanks for this comment, I appreciate it. :) My husband enjoyed it so much he read it aloud to me, which made me smile. I don't know how naturally dominance comes to him. He was definitely not assertive when we first met. Due to me being crazy into him and super submissive, it's a new side to him we've been exploring over the years. It's a lot of fun!
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 01:49 AM
1

I'm not sure I understand what you mean
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 12:35 AM
3

That's not it, but it's an amusing guess XD
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/22 12:34 AM
3

With the first, we did something similar to Ferber at 3.5 months. Worked great! Only took a few days. We'd put baby to bed, he'd cry, we'd come get him and he'd calm down as we held him. Repeated until he figured out how to self soothe. Second baby seems to be a bit clingier. Tried at 4 months and he'd couldn't calm down even when held. He'd work himself up until he spat up, so we decided to wait a little longer. He hasn't found him thumb yet, and our first had. I tried nursing him and putting h…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 08:17 PM
3

September Goals: Sleep train the baby Once baby is trained, begin weight lifting 2x or more a week Write 5000+ words for new project Prepare at least one romantic gesture for husband October 2nd Edit: Baby successfully sleep trained in first quarter of the month Only weight lifted once :( Wrote ~1500 words for new project One romantic gesture executed with okay results
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 07:28 PM
5

I enjoyed reading this, thank you! As for ABC, I truly believe this is actually something he doesn't want to happen, which is partially why I'm cool with him teasing me about it. We both know it's a fantasy. I just don't want him to feel like he should be ashamed or that there's something he can't talk to me about. Lord knows there's a bunch of weird stuff I think of that I wouldn't actually want to pursue in real life either. He's very accepting of that. I think in this case, "all of me" is bei…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 07:19 PM
1

Personally, things like annoyance or irritation would fall into a mild negative reaction category. I'm not sure how much of it was what he said and how much was how he said it. I definitely think it was both.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 07:04 PM
2

Failing the test would be a strong negative reaction to something which I told him would not give me a strong negative reaction. Similar to two kids wrestling - the point is to have fun. If you both have a good time, it was a great game! If one of you expresses a wish to stop, both people stop and move onto the next thing. But if someone gets hurt and gets angry at the other person, they're likely to want to stop playing with each other altogether.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 05:54 PM
1

I'd say more the former. I'm not sure how confident he was that it would make me laugh; he definitely knew he was pushing my buttons. But I think when I was already laughing then he kinda doubled down it see if it would still be funny.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 05:50 PM
1

As I mentioned in my post, I told him I was wouldn't get upset talking about it. it doesn't cause me any negative emotion besides a mild "ew". If I didn't want it brought up, I would've said so. In my opinion, changing the boundary in the moment is comparable to pushing boundaries. Not cool.
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 05:34 PM
0

Thank you! I just remembered this and was coming to edit the post
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/22 05:19 PM
3

I'd suggest you throw out the words "medical emergency" and see what he responds with. In your attempt to not be "selfish and dramatic", I'm concerned you're underrepresenting the severity of how you feel. You can't drive. You have no one else to turn to. You need help. If he cannot make it to you, can you call a cab or ride share service? Can you see someone at the hospital where you work? I don't think it's helpful to think in terms of who's the asshole. You're both in a critical situation and…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 08:01 PM
20

It might be worth looking into non-traditional/non-diamond rings. They're likely to be much more affordable. If you find one you fall in love with, now it's "please get me this thing I really want and just happens to be cheaper" and not "let's find a cheaper, artificial version of what I want." He wants to spoil you. If you can find a way to let him without breaking the bank, you both win. I went for a coral rose with surrounding pearls. Ring was like $500 and I get TONS of compliments. There's …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 03:59 PM
6

I'm so happy to be useful! From reading the other comments, it seems like you both really want to take care of each other and are struggling with the new dynamic. Give yourself and him some grace. You both are capable of figuring this out, but this is a huge lifestyle change after a trying couple of years. As you learn and implement your choice of the tools RPW has to offer, it should get smoother. I wish you and your fiance the best of luck adjusting to your new situation!
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 03:51 PM
16

I appreciate the elaboration! In both cases, he sounds frustrated with his powerlessness at his new job. It seems like he's calling you to vent and for comfort. There's acting as an escape from his problems, and there's trying to help fix his problems. It seems like he is looking for the former. By trying to fix them, you are making him feel even less powerful, and reminding him of what's making him so frustrated. Try to take his mind of his issues. My husband seems to respond well lately when I…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 03:08 PM
6

Here's a post with tips on approaching men! Keeping in line with that post, you could try bad excuses such as: - Asking for a tour of the campus - Asking for help finding a specific library/building/coffeeshop/eatery I cold approached my husband back when we first met at a school orientation. I was quite shy but he was soo handsome I never would've forgiven myself if I didn't take the chance! I simply introduced myself and asked about him, and it worked just fine. He took me approaching him as a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 02:42 PM
4

I recommend cold approaching men on campus in other graduate programs. Are there social activities you can attend? Libraries or cafeterias or other popular hot spots people congregate at? You're far more likely to meet a compatible man there and at church than anywhere else. It's worth taking the plunge and introducing yourself to a cute stranger.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 02:27 PM
25

He started a new job days ago. He can't clock out early. He's probably not taking breaks, or if he is, he's spending them cooling off or getting to know his coworkers. He can't risk personal calls. This is an extremely important and stressful time for him. Work matters to men in a different way than women. Yes, he can get fired as a new hire. They could just pick up the phone and call any of the other applicants to ask if they want the job instead. He needs to make a good impression. Whether or …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 02:17 PM
5

I struggle with the same feelings. Preparing and sharing food was a huge way we showed love to each other growing up in my family and it stings when my husband acts differently. You've done so much of the work already. You know your reaction in the moment and the emotions that arise detract from how you treat your husband, and you want this to change. You just need to keep your mouth closed while your hamster runs its course. You can bring up the issue once you've calmed down and re-balanced you…
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 01:02 PM
1

It's so great that you value his perspective! And what good communication on his part - so much better than trying to guess what you wanted.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:36 PM
2

That reminds me of the story of Atlas from Greek mythology. Very inspiring. <3
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:34 PM
2

How impressive!! He sounds like a fascinating person to have a conversation with - something I'm sure your children will come to appreciate. It's so great that you love to listen to him talk about his passions. That's a lovely dynamic. :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:32 PM
2

What a beautiful example he sets for his family! A family is blessed to have a man who'll take on the responsibility to provide for them - and a man is blessed to have a family who loves and respects him for it. Thank you for your answer! <3
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:30 PM
2

I admire the fact that I fully trust him in making decisions. He’s smart, it was important for me to marry someone I trusted MORE then I trust myself. I can't think of a better marker of respect than this! I'm sure a lot of your happy marriage boils down to this. It's hard to dance when both partners are trying to lead. Both parts are so essential to forming something beautiful, then everything just seems to come together. :)
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:28 PM
7

Rollo Tomassi has a part in TRM where he boils male thought down to something like this: I want sex + women have the sex that I want + women say they want xyz behavior + I will adapt to do xyz behavior = women will have sex with me. Except women are more likely to give relationship/comfort traits as xyz instead of sexual attraction traits, because women tend to want relationships over casual sex. As a result, a man might develop high RMV but low SMV, then be frustrated when this isn't leading to…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:20 PM
1

That link works for me, thanks! Good to know I can still track this stuff down when I need to. I'm on the Reddit app on an Android phone. It's been working fine for so long! Not sure what I did to mess things up. :/
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 10:07 PM
2

I haven't been able to open anything in the RPW wiki/sidebar for about a week now. It says "this page is no longer updated". :(
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 06:33 PM
14

I prefer the OYS threads in r/marriedredpill to TRP by far.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 02:47 PM
0

Why the separate beds? It doesn't sound like it's working for you and you don't give a reason. Have you told him how lonely it makes you feel? What makes you think he's talking to other women? If I were you, I wouldn't stay. As a general rule of thumb, I'd expect most problems or most of your partner's flaws to stick around throughout a marriage. If you can't live like this now, and you talk it through but can't reconcile this issue, then things aren't looking good long-term. My husband and I sl…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 01:36 PM
2

Isn't it so fascinating watching someone voluntarily take on additional responsibilities and handle them well? What an incredible aspect of human nature. I started exercising, eating better, cleaning/organizing the house nicer and enrolled in classes to switch career paths (one that would be more successful). This is PHENOMENAL. Admiration and love really can bring out the best in us. He sounds like a fantastic leader; someone who can truly inspire others by setting such a good example.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 04:20 PM
3

Congratulations!! I've got two littles myself and while they do run me ragged, they are such a source of joy. I hope you're as comfortable as you can be these next few months, and wish you a good delivery. nowadays I focus on myself and think about how I can service him to make his already rough morning be smoother, instead of being selfish and complaining about who I ~wish~ he were. What an amazing capacity for self-reflection and change! I'm sure your husband loves you all the more for it. I t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 04:15 PM
2

Even when I’m depressed, he somehow manages to get me to laugh. That's amazing! He sounds like such an oak. It's a great comfort to know our partner will be there to pick us up on our bad days.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 03:33 PM
3

Wow, what a commendable effort to make the people he cares about feel loved and looked after. He sounds like a great man!
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 03:32 PM
3

Wow, that is an incredible amount of conscientiousness. I'm sure it's a comfort to know he would be willing to sacrifice so much to provide for his family - especially if/when you have kids - even if you have to be actively watching his back for him. I think it's really sweet you've come around and are able to support him. It really makes you seem like partners. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 03:30 PM
3

Those all sound great! Out of curiosity, would you say those are the same things you admire/respect about him? I was discussing this with my husband last night, and came to the realization that while there's a lot of overlap between what I love and respect about him, they're not 100% the same.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 03:27 PM
3

Handiness is soooo useful! My dad has helped us out around the house and it's the best. Really makes you feel like you can handle anything!
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 03:26 PM
13

ability to remain calm in difficult situations He's a very logical and mind-over-matter type. What a great quality! My husband and I are currently exploring how much perspective and expectations influence our outlook on life. I've become much more logical due to his influence, and it's been a big help. I think my emotional side helps him too! Even if it's as simple as me pointing out what a beautiful day it is or something. Have you experienced something similar? "he's just being a baby. It's ok…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 12:56 PM
1

I disagree. Have his swears start with the word "stop". I find it unlikely he's walking through the door, wife smiles and says "how was your day?" and he's saying "stop your bitching!!" I could be wrong, but it sounds like they're arguing and both are becoming very emotional. I don't think she has no fault just because he said an especially mean word. I do think he should take her feelings into consideration, but if they're both so stubborn neither will apologize then they'll never get anywhere.
/r/RedPillWives27/08/22 12:42 PM
5

I know when my husband and I get into arguments, things don't get better until one of us apologies. Then the other immediately apologizes as well. I'm sad to say it's usually my husband who is the bigger person first. I need to improve here. From the sound of it, neither one of you wants to apologize to the other for whatever you did/didn't do. It takes two to tango nearly every time. There's always, always something you and him both could've done better. Take responsibility for your half, then …
/r/RedPillWives27/08/22 03:05 AM
26

For me, I love when my husband displays his aptitude for mathematics. I know he's above the 99th percentile, but it's so awe-inspiring to see his competence come out in our day-to-day interactions. He's like a human calculator at times, haha. It's been such a gift. He's obtained an amazing scholarship, job, and knowledge of personal finance from this and it never ceases to impress me.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/22 02:36 AM
8

I don't think you should look to us to label you. RPW is meant to be used as a toolkit to aid in your relationships. You can pick and choose what you want to apply. I'm sure you know from reading the rules that RPW is anti-feminist. This is not because we don't believe men and women have equal value. This is because we don't think men and women are the same.
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 02:56 PM
3

How funny! I guess teenage relationships aren't known for their stability. It's great things between you and your husband worked out - now your sister technically is his family!
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/22 12:07 AM
3

What a sweet story! Newborns are the best, aren't they? :) Did you ever bring up the Facebook thing to him?
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/22 09:13 PM
23

I met my husband at 16 at a special high school program for nerds. I saw him from across a room and just had to get to know him. I'm incredibly shy but worked up the nerve to introduce myself - the conversation was amazing. I've never felt such a powerful draw to someone. I confessed within a few days. He said he felt the same way. Then a few more days passed before he rescinded his confession and told me he actually was pursuing someone else, a girl he'd liked for a few years. After accepting h…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/22 01:21 PM
4

I've been making salmon Wellington lately - it looks AMAZING and is astonishingly easy if you buy frozen puff pastry. People think I went all-out when it's actually one of the easier recipes I have in my back pocket. Cooks in the oven for about 20 minutes. https://tasty.co/recipe/puff-pastry-salmon-salmon-wellington
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/22 12:01 AM
10

Here's a comment on how males view attractive women; I found this incredibly helpful. His behavior does NOT mean there is anything lacking in your appearance, though I can understand why you'd take it that way. My takeaways from this post: You violated an unspoken boundary in your relationship. He came close to violating a mutual agreement, but ultimately did not. You can bring up that his behavior made you uncomfortable, but it seems like your behavior is the bigger concern here.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/22 01:10 AM
2

Pro-tip if you decide to go through with it: Book plane tickets on Spirit or Frontier at least once a month. Alternate visiting each other for a weekend. Trust me on this. You can fly on budget airlines for like $100-$150 roundtrip domestically in the US. Take a backpack as a carry-on. Download a three hour playlist and take some headphones. LDRs have unique challenges but it's most likely within your control to make this work. If he's as special as you say, I think I'd give it a shot, but I'd u…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 01:17 AM
2

How was "hitting the wall" within a committed relationship? Did you feel like you became less beautiful in your 30s? Did this effect your self-esteem? Any difference in your husband's attraction or physical affections?
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 01:05 AM
43

1) Don't drink anything other than water. If this is too hard, try black coffee, unsweetened tea, and milk. 2) Stop buying anything unhealthy that you binge eat. Switch to grocery pickup if it's too hard to do in store. Cook your food and have only healthy stuff on hand (fruit, nuts, veggies, cheese). 3) Protein is very filling for the amount of calories it has. A seasoned, marinated, or slow-cooked chicken breast is a great lunch. 4) Drink a glass of water before a meal. I know you said you're …
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 12:48 AM
17

Business! It's a blowoff major but still employable I guess. So far, it hasn't helped but it hasn't hurt. I made sure to be debt free. I got married at 21 with a positive net worth and immediately became a homemaker.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/22 12:35 AM
1

NTA. Keep moving on and dating other women. I'd say it's a safe bet she's been seeing other men your entire deployment, and an even safer bet that she's more trouble than she's worth.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 09:09 PM
2

I don't see any reason to doubt that his actions reflect his feelings now. He pushed you away, you showed large amounts of love and submissiveness - almost to a fault, he realized you added value to his life and now is working to keep you happy. When you started your relationship, you handed him all of the power on a silver platter. Now he's giving some of it back to you. Be mindful of what you do with it. It's okay to tell your partner your insecurities. Just be sure to phrase it as a you probl…
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/22 02:34 PM
4

I think most women would like to be with a man who's HV enough to have options. It serves as social proof of attractiveness and value. I also think most women would like to be with a man who'd choose not to exercise those options. It shows love, loyalty, and self-control.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/22 03:57 AM
7

It doesn't seem like OP has any mixed emotions about her BF. She praises him throughout the post and refers to him as "the perfect partner". That's not settling. It seems like OP's reservations are about her own capabilities. I think discouraging her from a happy relationship because she's afraid she won't be a good enough wife, and possibly mother, is far from optimal.
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 09:18 PM
1

I'd say if you can demonstrate how to be a functioning, well-adjusted adult to your children, and can surround them with people who care about them a lot of the time, that will make a good childhood. Now I'm not an expert on childrearing, and it's a decision for the two of you to make, but I don't think fear should be the prevailing factor. Fear is great at encouraging caution, but can sabotage rational decision-making if we let it. It sounds like you have wonderful resources and a reliable part…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 09:02 PM
5

As someone who got married at 21 and had a kid at 22, I can say it was the right decision for me. But that's the lifestyle I wanted. My husband probably would've preferred waiting a few more years. He does like the kids, but they do require a lot of time and energy. I don't think you have to be willing to sacrifice everything for your kids and be around them 24/7 to be a good mom. If you either of you have family around and/or can afford childcare, you can still budget time to enjoy your 20s and…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/22 08:12 PM
5

Catholic teaching on the female orgasm is that it should happen every "session" and the husband is sinning against his wife if he neglects her pleasure. I'm not exactly sure how long it's been this way, but at least since Pope JPII (which admittedly isn't long).
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/22 06:23 PM
2

I totally agree with you! I LOVE having sex with my husband, especially PIV but even the stuff that doesn't do anything for me. Ideally, we'd go at it 1-2 a day. I don't really like when we focus solely on me. Orgasming is underwhelming and kinda sad when I do it to myself and really hard for me to do with a partner. My husband is determined to keep trying, but it's a mental and physical struggle for me everytime. When it does happen, it's great! But I'm satisfied with 1-2 a year. I think there'…
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/22 12:43 PM
15

I don't really know what banter is normally like between the two of you, so I'm not going to comment on the other women remarks. Maybe tell him (and you) to tone down the jokes. My self-esteem starts to tank in the second half of pregnancy - my husband now knows jokes that would normally make me laugh produce a sad pouty face instead. As for the irritability, it's probably the results of hormones and is likely going to get worse. Third trimester brings permanent back aches and those little butte…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 07:17 PM
1

Oh, that's great! It seems so common that men seriously question whether porn is contributing negatively to their lives and relationships. Nice to know that struggle isn't universal. :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 06:50 PM
14

There were definitely tough moments when we were dating. During our marriage I came across the RP explanation of polygamy/hypergamy and that helped immensely. No longer did I think porn meant there was something inadequate about me or our sex life. It's way easier to be supportive when I don't take every indiscretion to be a personal affront. I think it just shows that this particular addiction can affect every kind of man. For sure. He was exposed around the same age as you. Normal loving famil…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 03:05 PM
2

In my opinion most men do not want a virgin. That's interesting! That has not been my experience at all. But, perhaps being a virgin attracted men who valued that. They want someone who knows how to please them in bed and isn’t incredibly shy, and that takes experience. For me, I've observed a man's priorities in their sex partner is enthusiasm and willingness. Skill could be gained over the years. I guess men just make the best with what they have.
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 02:39 PM
47

Very thought-provoking read. When my husband and I started dating, he was still very much in recovery from his porn addiction. I really admired how hard he was fighting to overcome it, especially when considering how many people don't consider porn consumption to be an issue. I've yet to meet a man who didn't struggle with it at some point. My husband has always been a great partner, but we'll be dealing with the shadow of his addiction over our shoulders for a long, long time. That being said, …
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/22 02:22 PM
5

Learning to let someone love you is a skill all on its own. Take a minute to step inside his shoes. How would you feel if he rebuffed the support and affection you gave him, saying that it made him feel guilty? I know if my husband did that to me, I would feel rejected and confused. Just as it's a joy for you to be submissive to him, it's a joy for him to lead and provide for you. Enjoy the love you share. Nurture it as best you can. :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/22 07:23 PM
2

Oh man, as much as I wish you weren't going through this, it's comforting to know I'm not alone. It's sad that having something that others want is enough to make them dislike you, regardless of your character. It's also enough to void you of sympathy (think of how much we feel sorry for Hollywood stars). I spent a lot of my school age years trying to dumb myself down in the areas I excelled. I still feel a bit uncomfortable when people comment on my looks. It feels so awful to wonder if the rea…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/22 04:13 PM
11

As someone whose first time was with the man I married, I can tell you I still feel guilt and shame. If I had a time machine, I wouldn't have even dated or kissed another man. I think a lifetime of love and fidelity is a greater gift than virginity; one that you can still give him. Try to focus on what you can bring to his life. I am saddened to hear of your loss, and wish you a rainbow baby.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/22 11:42 PM
11

I don't think my boyfriend realizes I feel this way because I haven't told him about these feelings. I recommend hashing out what you both feel comfortable doing with the opposite sex. part of me still gets anxious that someone really charming will come into his life and he'll fall in love with her. This could happen in a relationship whether it's long distance or not. The best thing is to focus on what you can do to improve your relationship with him, to make it the strongest and happiest it ca…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/22 08:24 PM
4

I just don't know how to go about it. Tell him how negatively it effects you. I would recommend being as brief as you can, but be firm that you don't want to know when he watches. My general advice is to expect that the things that bother you about someone will never go away. You can't control him. More often than not we're working through reoccurring issues. Can you be happy with a man who watches anime on occasion forever? I agree with others that this is irrational behavior that is your probl…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/22 04:23 PM
4

He did! Whenever I was with our toddler, he was watching our baby. We then switched towards the end of our meal. Regardless, I'm not too concerned about his behavior or that of the children. I think they all did their best. My problem was my attitude.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 06:20 PM
12

I think you're missing the point. What I was trying to say boils down to this: "There was an obstacle. It was tough. I overcame it. I felt good for overcoming it. Really good." Your reply is essentially: "Oh, just remove the obstacle!" There's a reason I referred to it as one of my proudest moments. It's a great feeling to push through urges to be selfish and resentful. I love knowing I can overcome my darkness. I want to be challenged as a wife and a mother. I want personal growth. I could've p…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 04:52 AM
18

I totally hear you. :) For those lessons you're describing, we like to take him to a nearby casual pizzeria right when it opens for lunch. Much lower stakes, haha.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/22 02:59 AM
16

I'm guilty of relying on TV more than I'd like. Tablets are just for plane rides for the time being. Screens are certainly one tool in your toolkit - just remember your best and most effective tool for entertaining the little ones will always be your enthusiastic attention. There's really nothing they want more than that.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 09:47 PM
26

Absolutely! I'm shameless though, I'll just ask him to praise me when I really want to be acknowledged. I'm grateful for his patience.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 09:16 PM
16

I get it, it was a flippant response to what I considered to be a flippant response. Babysitters definitely have their downsides. I do enjoy leaving our son with the grandparents for some alone time, but I also think it's good to include him for family outings. Everything's a balance.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 09:15 PM
20

Bring a favorite toy, a toy she doesn't usually get to play with (we bring a travel case of washable markers), a snack to tide her over, and maybe something sweet to stop a meltdown in progress (we like little lollipops). My taking-a-walk trick works great, but you won't get much out of the encounter socially. My two year old is just starting to pay attention to screens, so you could go that route as well. Just remember two year olds have all of the emotions and none of the emotional regulation.…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 08:43 PM
23

Oh, I'm not surprised at all! He behaved perfectly reasonably for a two year old. I responded in a way I am pleased with. All is well. Though I wouldn't say he was unruly. I interceded before his behavior could negatively impact other patrons.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 07:27 PM
12

Nah
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/22 07:01 PM
1

If you wish to share this with her, take a bunch of screenshots, scribble out your name and picture, make a dummy Instagram or Facebook account, and instantly block her and her husband as soon as you send the images. Share the information but do not allow further communication between you. You don't need the drama.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/22 04:36 PM
2

What I'm trying to refer to in this post is doing your spouse a favor ("an act of kindness beyond what is due or usual") to improve how much you like them. I'm not referring to acts within a normal division of labor. It must be seen as above-and-beyond to them as well as you.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 08:52 PM
4

A man who has zero desire to improve will not magically gain that motivation if you treat him well. I agree! So this advice works only with men who are already HVM I think you're right about this, which is why I ended my post the way I did. My husband has the normal failings of a man, but ultimately he has my respect. This is more of a way to take things from good to great. My problem isn't with him so much as it's my perception of him. at which point I can’t imagine having a small issue with hi…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/22 04:26 PM
3

Are you feeling envy or jealousy? The former implies that you don't want what these women appear to have, and the latter implies that you do. If you're jealous, I would imagine having a conversation with your partner about how you'd like to receive affection through gifts and praise more would be the most helpful. It's going to be hard to feel happy for others if you are frequently feeling depraved in your own love life. Envy is a different beast altogether, and not one I have much experience in…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 03:49 PM
2

In his last comment, the fallacy used was slippery slope (a minor action now will lead to major consequences later), in reference to how my children will turn out. Ad hominem was used in other comments, as I previously mentioned. Apart from this, he stated his opinion as fact by saying the reason I wouldn't argue was incapability. I stated it was unwillingness, and he is guessing as to why. Attributing false motive is never convincing and doesn't usually reflect well on the user personally. I do…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/21 04:16 AM
14

My husband makes about 10k more than yours. We live comfortably in a mid cost of living area with a house, a baby, and a savings rate of over 30%. The biggest thing to look at here isn't your income. It's your expenses in relation to your income. Could you live off of 50k a year now? What unnecessary spending can you cut back on, where could you reduce expenses if you stayed at home? Best thing to do is start closely examining your finances now and try to save as close to 100% of your salary as …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 09:38 PM
1

I see. It seems I had misconceptions as to what RPW was. I was under the impression that this subreddit promoted some tradcon values such as family/marriage/LTR. I apologize for misrepresenting RPW.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 08:53 PM
1

I didn't say it was nonsense, I said it was a poor argument. That is what fallacies are, by definition. If you claimed we shouldn't go through with the plans for a public park because a pedophile draw them up, that would be a bad argument. It may be a very valid reason to look closer, but a convincing, proper argument would need to contain examples of how the park would put children in danger specifically due its design. Otherwise, the pedophile part becomes irrelevant to the validity of the par…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 08:26 PM
2

There was no question present to dodge.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 08:19 PM
0

I didn't say you couldn't argue against JBP, but your arguments should be RPW focused and not TRP focused. You should not be making the same points and comments here as you said you have, as this subreddit has different rules and values. The term "tradcon lifestyle" differs from the term "tradcon". Do you disagree that the lifestyle tradcons promote typically involves marriage and children? Edit: It was pointed out to me that you are correct that RPW isn't tradcon. However, JBP does promote comm…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 08:09 PM
0

More logical fallacies. Oof.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 07:40 PM
0

Correct. My intention was/is not to engage in an argument over JBP, but to point out that this conversation thread is not RPW centric and is overly focused on TRP.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 07:29 PM
1

Ad hominem is a fallacy for a reason. It's a poor, unconvincing argument. The topic at hand is a woman asking for help in her relationship. Nothing in your comments here offer OP any advice. This breaks the first rule of RPW. Argue about this in the appropriate place.
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 06:32 PM
2

I think what you and u/GayLubeOil should keep in mind is that this subreddit is very different from TRP and to treat it as such goes against the rules of RPW. JBP promotes a tradcon lifestyle and preaches self improvement and personal responsibility. That is EXACTLY in line with what RPW is about. This post was made by a woman looking to help her boyfriend be more dominant in their LTR, not how to make him more red pill. RPW often don't want to be with TRP men because they don't want a tradcon l…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/21 05:54 PM
1

It may be a bit out of your comfort zone, but there's a Korean drama series on Netflix available with subtitles called "Touch Your Heart" that might be exactly what you're looking for. :)
/r/RedPillWives23/10/21 11:58 PM
1

Aw that's great! They do sound similar - even with this system in place, most of what my husband agrees to get as gifts are things like socks, minor stuff for the house, etc. It's really satisfying when you can find something for someone who doesn't want much.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 03:03 PM
2

Do you believe strong, clearly defined personal preferences are akin to abuse? If you're looking for someone posting about how to support their spouse to then criticize them for the same exact behavior, I suspect you're on the wrong subreddit. But yes, I believe him to be the best possible man I could've married, and I also agree this behavior could be defined as a quirk.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 02:07 AM
2

It shouldn't matter how most people would see the gesture, or if it's well-meaning. As he is very clear he doesn't want to receive any gifts ever under any circumstances, that should be respected. He don't owe an explanation for his preference. Anything would seem poisoned if it was forced upon you enough times, I bet.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 01:53 AM
3

I've heard of men saying things like that before, but almost never in the context of a wife. By far the most common fantasy I hear of from men is marrying a virgin. If you want to be married, I'd aim to be the best wife material you can be, and not worry so much about being the best girlfriend material or sex partner material. None of us can be everything to everyone, sadly.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 01:40 AM
1

I believe most people get upset when they are very clear with what they want/don't want and that is repeatedly disregarded. It doesn't strike me as a personal flaw, though that may very well be others' interpretation.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/21 01:14 AM
2

While I agree with a lot of what you said, I believe it is worth noting that some people mark/bruise much easier than others, so it might be entirely possible to accidentally leave a hickey a second time. The fact that the incident would likely take place a period of high arousal where one often isn't thinking their clearest doesn't help.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 09:20 PM
1

I'm glad I could help! I don't envy your situation, I remember dating my husband and feeling like things could fall apart in a moment at times. It's very tough. I believe I was the one who threatened we would break up if certain behaviors continued a couple times, but for me personally it didn't come from a place of not caring, but rather I believed with all my heart it was best for both of us to end things swiftly if I didn't think our relationship could work out. I definitely think you should …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 09:14 PM
12

I've spoken to plenty of jaded men in their late teens and twenties talking about their baggage and how they'll never do nice things for a woman again since she'll inevitably just turn around and hurt them. I've also know men this age badly hurt by their partners and they push through it. I don't think age is as big a factor as maturity in these types of situations, though I can't say I speak to many single men around 30. I think a big difference between men and women is that women inherently ha…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 07:22 PM
2

It's important to note that he might view what happened as egregious, especially if he feels his work reputation is at stake. It's also important to note that his boundaries weren't respected - the doing of so not being intentional or the fact that the boundary was not known to you beforehand doesn't change the fact that the line was still crossed. I think both the sympathy and the blame is shared in situations like these. I think if you made light of something he was upset about, it makes sense…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 07:09 PM
6

Is there anything he could do that would rightfully warrant the same response from you? If he pressed things too far sexually, carried away in the moment/unintentionally or otherwise, and then joked about it when you expressed discontent, could you see yourself saying if something like this happened again that things would be over between you? If you don't see yourself acting this way and can't see yourself with someone who does, that's completely up to you. I don't see something inherently wron…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 05:25 PM
2

Very nice! I'm happy you've also found things that work in your family. :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 05:08 PM
2

Oh I definitely have back when we were dating and that was helpful! Gifts came in dead last with a zero for him.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 05:04 PM
1

I'm no expert, but I switch between pushing myself to do something I need to even if it makes me anxious, and giving myself time to retreat and recover. It's much easier to push past the anxiety coming from a comfortable place with time to psych yourself up. You won't get the friends you desire without making an effort, sadly. But the flip side of that is it's likely within your grasp, and you're capable of going after your goals if you set your mind to it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 02:53 PM
10

It sounds like he's making his personal boundaries clear to you. I believe that to be a perfectly normal behavior. My husband will tell me he doesn't like something or to stop right away if I cross his boundaries. I don't mind him being assertive, even if it sometimes comes across as harsh. He doesn't display any of the negative traits you mentioned.
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 02:44 PM
3

My husband praises the fact that I've only been with him regularly, and that wasn't even a high priority for him when dating. I'm of the opinion that sexual pleasure will completely evade a woman if she isn't attracted to her partner and her partner isn't invested in bringing her pleasure. Sex where you feel nothing, feel uncomfortable, or feel pain is very possible for a woman. I had a friend rush to lose her virginity because she felt like she was behind, and her experience sounded awful and s…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 02:27 PM
2

Some people just have more envy than others. The particularly nasty part about envy is that even when you don't want what they have for yourself, you still don't want good things to happen to others. They want to do things their way, and they don't want your way to work. Or it's just well-meaning bad advice. My mom can get very anxious so she questioned the timing of my marriage and kids even though it's what she wanted for me, and what I wanted. I didn't take it seriously because I know that's …
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/21 02:17 PM
2

Statistically, men would rather feel respected than loved, and vice versa for women. (There's a book on this called Love and Respect). If he says he feels emasculated, this means he feels his most important and most basic relationship need is not being met. You may really love him and feel like you're doing great at showing it, but you're essentially feeding him when he's dying of thirst. I doubt he's over exaggerating when he says he can't continue like this. The problem with an equal partnersh…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/21 02:35 PM
1

I think a lot of this is just normal growing up. I certainly thought of myself as having a masculine side when I was young due to an interest in things like math and video games. I tried to avoid the typical teenage girl drama whenever I could. I even liked painting my nails, am average height, wore a bit of makeup most days, dressed very feminine, and dreamed of being a stay at home mom. It hits so many women. If the things you listed are what you really think of as the problem, then maybe get …
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 03:57 PM
3

My husband is an actuary who started making around 65k out of college. We married in our final year of school so I pushed to graduate early and never got a job out of college as we conceived on our wedding night and I moved across the country to be with him. We were 21 then, 23 now. No loans, I worked through college/lived at home and he had a great scholarship. My parents did lend us some money so we could put 20% down on the house (any less and a lot of times you'll have to pay the bank an ext…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/21 03:43 PM
17

I have a BMI of about 18 - strangers, usually men, have been very considerate of me on the rare occasion I fly with the baby to visit my parents without my husband. I usually have multiple offers to help me with my bags when I board and deboard with the baby strapped to me in a carrier, and I often accept. There's nothing sexual or romantic about helping a woman with a baby as far as I can tell, I think the offers come from the fact that I'm petite and look like I could use the help. I certainly…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/21 08:35 PM
18

I watch a fair amount of Korean/Japanese media and the culture heavily emphasizes men being masculine and women being feminine in a multitude of traits. There's a lot of common themes of men not saying things "I'm sorry", not being emotionally needy, being attractive and fit, showing leadership, and persevering throughout hardship without complaint. I imagine the biggest reason some American Asian men don't do well in dating is simply because they're westernized in all the wrong ways.
/r/TheRedPill14/10/21 12:41 AM
5

You're not alone! I wanted to be a housewife from a young age and told my peers. I remember at 15-16 being considered a bit weird and old-fashioned for it, but I knew what I wanted and I didn't care much if teenagers thought it was dumb. One of my peers told me when I 15 that I would be popular in my twenties. It didn't mean much then, but that did end up being the case. I got married at 21, am 23 now, and am a stay at home mom. I'm very happy! My advice to you is that there's no guarantee when …
/r/RedPillWomen06/10/21 02:47 AM
2

You're totally right that's an option, but it's not something OP expressed an interest in doing. That coupled with his mild repulsion of her sexually, his aversion to casual sex with other plates, and her insistence on waiting till marriage are why I would argue to move on rather than attempt to plate.
/r/TheRedPill04/10/21 08:23 PM
1

Not quite my area of expertise, but I'll do my best. I wouldn't express any doubt or insecurity to her about your communication. If your goal is a LTR, I would instead take the lead and express what you are certain about: you'd like for things to become more serious and if she's not interested, you'll be moving on. If that doesn't appeal to you, then I'd just keep her as a casual plate and look for another woman. Women who are looking for commitment won't be hard to find.
/r/TheRedPill04/10/21 08:20 PM
10

If it bothers you now, it's definitely always going to bother you. I'd move on. I know someone who was with a very promiscuous girl for about two years and it never got better. He married a virgin and is much, much happier. The thing that makes oneitis work, in my opinion, is if both partners truly believe they couldn't do any better and feel really lucky to have found their SO. It's hard to see lifelong commitment as worth it otherwise. If it's any consolation, I've known plenty of girls wantin…
/r/TheRedPill04/10/21 03:12 PM
5

I personally would let him make the mistake, if that's what's going to happen. Then let him decide how to fix it. Maybe that's a different restaurant, maybe that's making a reservation for the following week, but leave it up to him IF making plans is a skill you want him to have. If you don't care if he attempts something like this again, then go ahead and make a backup plan that would make you happy. But it seems like this could be an opportunity to show him grace. Short term? Might not be your…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 09:10 PM
2

I definitely think the style is more important than the color itself! I personally love feminine clothes and pastel colors yet I can still find plenty of mainly black dresses and such that catch my eye. I really like shopping on AliExpress since I find that Asian-style clothes are really beautiful and appealing to me (plus it's cheap!). https://a.aliexpress.com/_mPcCKhy https://a.aliexpress.com/_mL619Xc https://a.aliexpress.com/_mOdqPyQ https://a.aliexpress.com/_mPEyl0m https://a.aliexpress.com/…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 08:48 PM
1

I wish you happiness in your relationship, OP! Long distance is tough. That age gap sounds tough. I would definitely make sure both of you have solid life insurance policies if you get married and have kids, as teachers don't make much and it sounds super tough for either of you to be a single parent. Little ominous but it's on my mind as my husband is looking into one now; we're young and don't have much in savings yet. My parents are fairly young and would be able to support me and the babies …
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 08:38 PM
8

I think the important part of this is that often times in marriage there will be times one spouse not only wants the other spouse to do something for them, but to be happy about undertaking the task. Or, at the very least, not be unpleasant about it. I think sex is one of the more important occurrences of this. I object to the phrase "out of duty" because there have been plenty of times in the bedroom I agree to do something that's solely for his pleasure, but am happy to give that to him. I'm n…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/21 08:24 PM
1

My advice to you to get things back the way they were to become more emotionally invested in his day trading hobby. My husband loves personal finance and he's in charge of most of the decisions, but because he loves it so much he often wants to discuss it with me and that means I need to be more than a passive listener. I need to understand what he's talking about as much as he can and ask him questions so that the conversation feels fun and engaging for him. You questioned his aptitude and it m…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 05:17 PM
0

I don't think that your decision to switch to substitute teaching is selfish, as it's a decision that benefits you, your third baby, and your other two babies (by having you around more). It seems to me that your husband is being selfish by wanting you to stay working full time, provided your finances would be okay with your switching to part time work but saving the childcare money. It seems like it's a decision that only benefits him, but perhaps he just isn't explaining his reasoning well. Re…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/21 03:03 PM
2

I once dated a man who came from a wealthy family and was pursuing becoming a doctor. He once told me that it didn't bother him at all that my family was middle class. He said he didn't need me to open doors for him, he could bring all the opportunity he wanted to himself. It seems like this man likes the person you've been so far and wants to get to know you better. Don't bring your mother's anxiety, even if it's well-meaning, into your relationship. Just keep doing what you've been doing. :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 03:26 AM
9

Welcome! There may be a lot of people in their 20s and 30s that feel that way, but I got married at 21 (23 now) to my perfect partner and love our traditional marriage. I truly feel like I'm making progress towards being my ideal self and that every day is lovely and fulfilling. :)
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/21 03:09 AM
5

My husband is a STEM major who started earning 60-70k right out of college and his salary is projected to be maybe 200k in his 40s. It doesn't seem like this is the HVM you're looking for, but hopefully it's close enough to be relevant. My husband loves and admires my intelligence, and I would say it's necessary in order to understand the complex topics he brings up. His number one hobby is personal finance, and he loves talking to me about it and wants me to understand the concepts. He also enj…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 02:42 AM
1

When my husband and I were dating, he start receiving flirty texts from a college classmate and was telling me about them while we were on the phone together. I was giving him advice on how to turn her down, and told him repeatedly to tell her he had a gf, but he was anxious about upsetting her because they were study partners for a tough course. It quickly escalated into her attempting to send him nudes, at which point he instantly blocked her. I criticized him for how he handled it, but he gen…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 01:52 AM
1

I struggle with something a little similar, I believe. My husband is a great lover, but I tend to want to have sex almost everyday and for him it's more like every other day. I don't like having to ask him for sex, but my desire for him usually gets the better of me. I don't think he likes being asked and turning me down either. (he's still suffering from the long term effects of porn addiction, so it's frustrating for him his body doesn't often cooperate) My advice to you is to try to figure ou…
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/21 01:19 AM
2

I recommend cutting out all liquids apart from water, and drinking a glass of water when you feel hungry in between meals. Water can fill your tummy, and the body can sometimes confuse thirst with hunger (meaning that your body might need water when it tells you that you need food). I believe fresh oats and watermelon are said to boost milk supply, so I'd add those into your diet. I wouldn't worry too much about diet and exercise besides walks. Breastfeeding definitely comes first, and it burns …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/21 06:26 PM
3

A good rule discussed back when I was in my high school Catholic youth group was KSU: Kiss Standing Up. It's more difficult for things to go too far if you're never sitting or lying down when being affectionate. Another good rule is to not take clothes off. It's also much easier if you don't hang out in a private space just the two of you. I wish you luck!
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 12:52 AM
3

I would start by making a list of traits/values you're looking for. It would be hard to find a high-value man if you don't first define what a high-value man looks like to you. If you want some financially stable, you can ask their job title or their major in school, or notice if they seem to spend large amounts of money on luxury goods frequently (usually a sign of an irresponsible spender). If you want someone somewhat neat, you can take note of their car and their dwelling when the time comes…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/21 12:46 AM
1

I do think it's similar - it's interesting to note that the average woman says her partner having an emotional affair would hurt more (like how in your example, the woman is concerned about him loving her), and an average man says his partner having a sexual/physical affair would hurt more. Though it may boil down to something as simple as your preferred love language and that you want to be treated special with whatever that is, there's a part of me that wonders about the deep psychological tie…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 01:33 PM
12

This is all still a theory I'm working on, so bear with me here: Sex makes men feel loved and desired and wanted in a way that they don't really get anywhere else. The equivalent for women may be a man telling her how beautiful he finds her and how in love with her she is. In terms of the five love languages, this would be a physical type of affection contrasted with a verbal type. Imagine a men comes up to you at the end of the first date and professes how much he genuinely cares for you, how a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 05:14 AM
8

I would say that's a normal thing to feel, but it's something to work on. It's normal to find people attractive, and to desire attention from attractive people. It makes us feel desirable and attractive ourselves. Beauty is a perceived asset to both men and women so it makes sense to seek confirmative of that from what seems like a reputable source, ie an attractive person. I struggle with this sometimes myself, though it's easy for me to tell these feelings are false/fleeting because I have no …
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/21 02:30 AM
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