TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

The_Answer1313 Archive

View 5 posts and 104 comments by The_Answer1313 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
Search in:
In subreddits:
More
Filter by year/month:
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Yeah mine is somewhat similar. She has two years to refi. If she doesn’t want to do that or cannot refi (and I suspect given her horrendous credit that might be the case) we are to sell by April 8th 2028. I was even told by my lawyer that if that’s the case then I can go right ahead and sell it and given I have no equity in it anymore I could sell it for far cheaper than it’s worth. The held harmless part tho is the one that’s still a bit of grey area to me. As I have to wait obviously until she…
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 08:23 PM
3

Maybe so. But I'll not pay either. Yes it will kill my credit but I assume she doesn't want to be liviing on the streets either.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/26 12:37 AM
4

Yeah as someone that gave up the house but my name is still on it I know all about this. My ex even today threatened to not pay. She has 2 years to refinance it. But the car is also joint and she’s got 6 years on that thing. The one thing I was told was if she didn’t make a house payment I can take her back to court. Maybe could force a sale sooner if she can’t refi. If she misses a payment on the 1st I will be in there on the 2nd filing contempt. The thing about the debt is you’re supposed to b…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/26 11:01 PM
1

I did the same thing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/26 12:38 AM
2

That’s what I was wondering lol.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/26 08:44 PM
6

lol don’t accept that non sense. It should be 50-50. Take it all the way to trial.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/26 07:17 PM
1

In my case, I wasn't so much blindsided but it also came as a surprise if that makes sense lol In other words, I knew this was an unhappy marriage for awhile (on both sides TBH tho I was a bit more muted on how I felt). I guess its just that.......even when you KNOW there's a potential for it coming due to it being not great for years, you are still surprised when it ACTUALLY HAPPENS. I always looked at it in my head as "oh yeah I know how this person felt but this is how they felt for awhile an…
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 09:38 PM
4

Maybe I have a weird way of looking at this but....... Marriages are transactional. I know that sounds cold but it is. Two people wanting something from others. Alot of times, that's money. So if one was relying on the other for money and then they realize they can get that regardless......well......no wonder the divorce rates are what they are.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 09:32 PM
3

Mine didn't go after alimony. Which I found to be very odd. She was cutthroat on everything except two things: 1) No alimony 2) Kept our son on her health (we both have him on vision/dental) when she most certainly could have (we both work for the same employer so same coverage) Tho my lawyer was going after her since she's cheated. I wonder if that played a role in all of this. Didn't want this to further drag out and have all this come to light.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/26 09:30 PM
1

Tho I suppose I could make the first payment. Then when I show she’s not reimbursed me for payment hold her in contempt.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:26 PM
1

I guess that’s the grey area here right. So I’m held harmless but at the same rate I can’t do anything until she actually misses a payment in which case my credit takes a hit. To which I then have obviously had the loss. It’s just cleaning up credit after the fact I’m not sure how one even does that.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 08:24 PM
1

Ok so this is exact wording : Commencing June 1, 2026 and each month thereafter, Wife shall be fully responsible for the mortgage payment, which includes interest and escrow, at xxx Bank in the current monthly amount of $xxx as well as the water/sewer, electric, trash, cable and internet bills. As indicated above, at all times, Wife shall be fully responsible for any and all other debts.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 03:00 AM
1

Also the other thing that kills me is why would any judge allow this. One person gets the equity while the other person takes the hit if they don’t pay. That just seems insanity to me.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:47 AM
1

Oh well now I’m very concerned given her already made threats. I thought fully responsible and that I can’t be held harmed by it meant she would have had to. I can’t be not hurt by her not making payments given the credit hit I’d take. I suppose at some point the bank would take the house from her. In other words the court couldn’t make me pay either it’s just a matter of do I want my credit to take a hit of not. Sighs. I dunno why I agreed to this. This person has been financially irresponsible…
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/26 02:43 AM
1

This is why I’m wondering if I can’t just file contempt as soon as she’s late. That way the hearing happens before any hit to my credit even happens.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/26 12:11 AM
1

Hopefully that's way down the road for you (or never comes at all). It's one thing to go through a divorce and all that comes with that. But this is the part I am struggling with the most.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 03:05 PM
2

Yeah I think I already have a text where she's saying that based on the court order she doesn't have to pay because it says if she didn't make payments I would. Except that's not at all what it says. It says she is fully responsible for the payments. There's an indemification clause in there where I am held financially harmless from her not paying. It just also says that IF i was to make payments, I would be reimbursed when sold. So I think I am good here. Second she misses, I go back to court. …
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 03:03 PM
1

Oh I had already done that. I emailed them the second she started with this and they told me they have no idea what I was talking about. That they would never do anything like that without informing me first.......which.....I kind of knew already lol. My ex is just crazy. But on the off chance she wasn't lying, I'd really like to know what that was about. Especially if she's already parading him around my son.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 03:00 PM
3

Yep. I guess that might be the route I have to go here. I already have the text messages of her threatening to not pay. The last thing I want to do is pay more for the lawyer but apparently she would also be on the hook for those fees should she cause me financial harm.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 01:21 AM
2

I'm not sure but apparently I have an indemificaition clause in the decree to where she's not able to do any financial harm to me. So I'm told if she's late just one day, take her back to court.
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/26 01:19 AM
1

Yeah I fear I might just have to do that.........take her back to court. I wasn't sure how that all works. So I can do this without her even knowing? Wouldn't the bank still hold me liable given my name is still on the mortgage? Surely the judge isn't going to just let her ruin my credit by not paying while she enjoys all the benefits of not only living there but getting full equity. This is ridiculous to me. The other thing is does filing a court order costs me money? Given I just purchsed a ho…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:31 PM
1

So my name is still on the deed until she refinances in which case she has two years to do so. I just worry about those two years considering she's already making threats and I've not even moved out yet fully
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:27 PM
2

So my name is still on the deed until she refiances in which case she has 2 years. I just worry about these two years and whether she'll pay especially given the threats even before I have physically moved.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:26 PM
2

This is what bothers me. WTF am I gonna do for two years if she doesn't pay? Then there's her car as well which is in my name and has six years left of payments.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 10:22 PM
1

Yes. So the deal is that she gets the equity in the house and has to refinance in 2 years or else the house goes on the market. This is probably a lawyer question but the divorce decree states she is FULLY responsibile for making these payments. The decree states if she does not and IF i make payments, she has to reimburse me when it's sold. *sighs I thought I was doing the right thing there but now I worry about her. The mortgage is in my name. The car is in my name. And it's like my options he…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:29 PM
1

Right now it's just been so difficult. And I worry too that even when I move out, unforunately this isn't over. I gave up the equity in the house. She has two years tho to refianance. I haven't even moved yet and she's already threatening to not make payments. I get it that people get divorced. It happens all the time but this woman wants to see me struggle. The divorce wasn't enough. The new bf, the threatening not to pay. I just want to go on with my life and enjoy the time I have with my son …
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 08:03 PM
1

I guess that's another thing tho I should share. I don't know if this guy isn't a jerk or dangerous. I honestly don't know what this guy's end game is here. I found out about the cheating when he started getting mail at my house. I have no idea why a man who owns two residences would ever get mail at another man's house. But the thing that really got me was during this process, I get a msg from my ex. Asking me why my lawyer supoened this guy. I told her I had no idea what she was talking about.…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:30 PM
2

Thanks. I appreciate the comments. Yep.........he's my sole priority now. I just hope he realizes it. I watched my ex wife bad mouth her ex in front of my two stepdaughters. I just worry the same might happen here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:25 PM
2

My stepdaugther son was having a birthday. At that point we weren't divorced but in the process and like those stepdaughters I've treated like my own and so I was definitely going to go to my grandkids birthday.......... then i found out this guy was going. So I stayed away. I get a call from my wife at the time......my son forgot his charger to his Ipad can you bringing it down............sure I said. I showed up. See my son......give him the charger and he tells me something about this guy hel…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:24 PM
1

Thanks. I don't think I could ever disconnect. That would be awful to me. Shit even when we were married and he stayed at his step daughters house more than a few days I missed him lol.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:19 PM
1

yeah I agree. Its just that......man........this has been the most horrible thing in my life. This woman has done things that I couldn't imagine another human doing to another. Physical abuse. Biting me to the point where my son is pulling her off me, emotional abuse, taking all of our savings, running up the debit card on me, cheating........I mean I cannot even explain everything she's done. And yet........she's completely gotten away with everything. She has everyone fooled and I worry she wi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:18 PM
2

I think that's what is getting to me. She introduced him Christmas Eve to this guy. And basically uninvited me. At that point, papers weren't even filed. She moved on and I get that but she needs to realize that he's still processing this. Heck I'm not even moved out yet completely. My son just got back from Myrtle Beach with her......and this guy. And yeah I kinda feel like you as well as far as putting off relationships. He's my sole priority now. I figure eventually I prob date but now I just…
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:16 PM
1

thanks. It most likely was to get under my skin and she succeeded there. I just worry because thinking about this.......I was THIS GUY 20 years ago. When I first started this relationship, she was married. When I got involved at the time, I did not know this. Would it have made a differene I'm not sure.........that being said I was around her two step daughters. I heard her bad mouth the dad all the time. So I guess that's why I have a fear of her doing the same with me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:11 PM
1

honestly I am hoping this eventually happens, I went into this thinking 50/50 was the fair and right thing to do here but now the more and more I think about it the more I wished that with custody I didn't at least go more.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:08 PM
2

I think it's very strange. All of this is. I mean......my god I haven't even moved yet fully and this guy is basically living my life. Had my son for Christmas and my ex calls him and you can hear this guy in the background trying to talk to him. smh. Its just crazy
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/26 06:07 PM
7

I took my son to a play place he loves. We got unlimited passes and stayed there for eight hours. And I loved every second of it :-). As did he.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/26 04:01 AM
1

Damn mine was calculated at just 320 and although I feel even that is a bit nuts considering it’s 50/50 custody I guess I can’t complain here haha
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/26 12:35 AM
5

Thanks . Needed this.
/r/Divorce_Men11/05/26 03:37 AM
7

oh this sounds familar. My ex put one right in plain sight on top of the fireplace when I work from home so she can spy on me. Now it's time for me to move and she's freaking out about them. Wanting to know where I put them. Pshycho behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 04:30 PM
7

Maybe Karma does happen after all lol. All the crazy shit my ex is doing to me, people keep saying u know this is going to catch up to her in the future and I thought to myself "yeah no probably not" lol. Maybe tho
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/26 12:57 AM
3

I have 50/50 which I thought was the fair way to do things here but deep down I kinda regret not fighting for more now. To go from 100 to 50. That’s been the worst part in this whole process
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/26 12:28 AM
1

Welp it’s tax day. She filed trying to claim my son and I did as well. She’s due a refund. I’m due to owe. My understanding is this: It goes.by who the child lived with the most. In my case this was 50/50 since the divorce didn’t finalize until March 26. Then it goes by who has the higher AGI which would be me. I fully expect to get a call from the IRS but at least for tax year 25 I am well within my rights of claiming as I did.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/26 05:55 PM
4

I feel like for the most part it's no one's fault only. I feel like at times when people do things in relationships it's because some aspect is lacking from the other person. It doesn't justify it obviously but you can see how it's a two way street here. Someone cheats? Well why did they cheat? Were they feeling unwanted? Unloved? It's almost always TWO people's faults.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/26 04:38 AM
2

Every situation I guess is different but my lawyer when I mentioned I was worried about my ex leaving with my son basically said she cannot do that. It’s stipulated in our code in WV. Went as far to say that if she moved, we’d fight for more than 50/50 and likely get it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/26 12:39 AM
1

Number 3 definitely. At first I thought why am I telling all of this to people........some of whom I wouldn't say I was the closest of friends to. But the alternatives are worse. Either you let your anger and frustration out on the ex, which isn't good for anyone. Or you keep it bottled up inside.......which isn't good for your health. I'm still dealing with this process but it's absolutely amazing the support I got from some of the most unlikely places.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/26 04:27 PM
2

Odd as I sit in my car before my final hearing. Ironically my ex birthday was also today lol.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/26 12:24 PM
5

It was wild. The mailman knocked on my door. Saying he had mail for some guy. At that time I didn’t know anything about him so I had a puzzled look on my face so the mailman was just like I guess he doesn’t live here and took it back with him. It wasn’t until a month later I found out about this guy.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 11:23 PM
5

At least she waited till the end. Mines been in a relationship while we were married for months now. Even invited dude to Christmas Eve to meet family. Guy even sending mail to my house acting as if he’s already moved in.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/26 11:08 PM
5

Well at least she waited until she left to set those up. Mine set them up two years prior to spy on me and they are gather evidence I guess lol.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/26 10:37 PM
3

Mine is trying to do the same with my son. Move him away hours. Not happening.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/26 05:21 PM
2

That first part is always what I was concerned about. That 1 year or 2 years down the road when she would have had to refinance, she wouldn't. Then as you said, I'd go back to court, waste a boatload of money and she still wouldn't do it. Yeah the more and more I think about this, the better I just keep the house. Also, it looks like whoever keeps the house would be in a worse temp financial position (but of course would walk away with all the equity in the long run). For me, it would mean I wou…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/26 12:14 AM
1

We started off this with wanting to keep our son in the house. So I was going to give her the house. Then I told her the judge will have her refinance and she flipped. Guess she's concerned since her credit is shot.......so i suggested buying her out. Needless to say she flipped about that as well. What I'm wondering now is.....can she force a sale? If my name is on the mortgage (and only my name) will the judge care where the money is coming from? She's getting the same money if I buy her out o…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 11:14 PM
1

So with regards to the house, do you suggest as a man, you stay? I'm currently going through the process. When this first start, since she has all the debt and I have things like retirement, the feeling was ok give her the house....give up equity and then nothing else. As this process has gone on and she started filing for everything under the moon, I've not moved out on the advice of the lawyer. And now I'm considering even staying in the house and buying her out. We have an 11 year old so clea…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:43 PM
4

I'm in a similar situation. And like you not about proving it because she's already inviting him to family events lol. But yeah I sometimes wonder with this guy as well "does he know she's still married" Most likely, they don't care tho. Don't talk to him. Don't warn him. He'll find out shortly.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/26 10:26 PM
1

Then again.......I do worry. Because she's putting this guy around our son. So it does make me somewhat curious on what exactly this is about.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/26 02:56 AM
1

Nope not at all. I thought maybe there was a small possibility the lawyer was looking into their relationship given she put spousal support in the papers but I was told she had nothing to do with it. So either my wife is lying, her bf is lying or he’s been served for something else. But yeah either way not my problem. Just annoying the endless texts about this. My lawyer is going to contact yours to see why they suppena this guy. I was like go right ahead she’ll tell u exactly what she told me l…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/26 06:57 PM
2

Holy crap the legal fees.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:26 AM
1

Also I hear this stuff about protecting women all the time but shit at what point is the law the law? She's gotten physical with me now.......twice. Tried to bite me. One time my 11 year old son had to pull her off me. Surely that has to look bad. Along with the cheating, the draining of our savings, the trying to run up our credit card debt......etc. And now has stolen my phone and refused to give it back. I was always afraid to go to the police because again it's a he said/she said thing but I…
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:23 AM
1

yeah that's exactly what happened. The lawyer answered her filing. We also sent a proposal to which my wife said no to. My lawyer told me she has not done anything in regards to this bf.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:22 AM
2

Well I asked my lawyer and she said she did not do anything with regards to this boyfriend. So just more BS from her.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:19 AM
1

And now she's stolen my phone............to go along with getting phsyical with me (two times she's bite me, one time my 11 year old had to pull her off me).
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/26 01:17 AM
1

Also that would be pretty wild if she was representing both myself and his wife. WV tho.......small world. Anything is possible here lol.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:25 AM
1

Whoa. I have no idea if you are correct or not but.....so this bf of my ex.....he has two residences and she's been going 3 hours away with him to that place. When I did some research, I noticed that the taxes wasn't just in his name but a female. I always suspected that he may very well still be married so it's interesting you would say this. I always thought while the current wife was here in the house locally, he was off with my wife at this other place during the weekends. Interesting.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/26 03:16 AM
1

defniitely wish I had read 6 beforehand. Wife tried to run up the credit card. Had to go through Chase fraud department to get the payments removed. And 7 is the exact reason why I did not move.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/26 01:15 AM
1

well so that's somewhat of my concern. How much of this is my lawyer actually doing more than what is requested or how much of this is my wife trying to scare me into not keeping the lawyer. Everyone says "get a lawyer, get a lawyer" but yeah I do worry about price. Then again when she put in her papers what she did, I didn't really have much of a choice.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:40 PM
5

Well that's the thing. It's hard for me to be detailed about this because I only got a text from my wife this morning. I haven't seen anything. That's why I think she's full of shit. When I asked her exactly what those papers said, it said "well to respond to your allegations duh". Which "allegeations" are a funny term to me. She DID cheat. She DID take our entire life savings and put it into her account. She DID try to run up our credit card before she left. Bank statements, Chase Fraud divisio…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 08:17 PM
1

yeah. Tell me about it lol.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:24 PM
1

Thanks man. And yeah after going through the lawyer I've basically been letting her handle all of this. its just crazy it had to come to this.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 06:23 PM
3

I think that's something I really need to consider. We have a son together (and live together during the week) so I obviously need to continue to talk but this is driving me insane. I need to just stop responding when it's about the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:56 PM
2

yeah i definitely plan on talking to them about it. It's just wild. I was willing to let her keep the house, getting all the equity in it for exchange of not going after my retirement (she has none) or saddle me with all her student loan debt (of which she has massive). But then she tried to use that stuff as leverage to get me to move out......I didn't move. My name is the only name on the mortgage. I didn't want to be responsible for bills at two places when I plan wasn't in place. Furthermore…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:42 PM
3

That's what I was thinking. I mean she gave me warning anytime she was sending documents to my wife. I feel like this would be totally out of the blue. Apparently he's retired and she's been staying at one his places on the weekends. So maybe that's what she's doing. Tho at this rate, I don't even believe anything that comes out of my wife's mouth. This just keeps getting crazier and crazier. Everyday there's something new happening here. I've just been letting the lawyer take care of this. Comi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 05:23 PM
3

You know I always thought at least in my case that it would actually go down. I'm still going through this process but I'm thinking in my head at the moment looks aren't important I just want someone that's going to treat me the way I should be treated after 20 years of not being. Having said that, I could also see this the other way. The "I deserve better" in the looks department as well. So no I don't think your being irrational at all.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/26 04:44 PM
1

You’re probably right. I’m not sure what I’m doing here.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 11:38 AM
2

Odd and here I had this horrible idea of getting mine soon to be ex a gift along with a letter not about breaking hearts but how much I care/love her still. Which also seems like a horrible idea just for different reasons lol
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 04:48 AM
5

I’m currently doing it. Sleeping in separate rooms (when she’s not staying with her bf). Initially I was going to move. I was going to give up the equity in the house in return she didn’t saddle me with her massive debt and half my retirement. But as I went on she started doing things like take all our savings , run up the credit card, even got physical with me. Then I got the papers and saw what she put in. Frankly regardless how this turns out I’m glad I stayed. Plus I have an 11 year old and …
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/26 09:32 PM
2

I figure this might be hard especially with 3 but I would try to look at this as positive as possible. Having that time with them while I could see difficult and challenging could be a blessing. Dealing with divorce now I’m having trouble even if it settles to 50/50. I look at it like I want 100. Then again over the past two years my wife has done nothing but spend time with the new BF. So it’s not much a difference to me in what I was already doing as far as responsibly goes.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 06:08 AM
1

Just out of curiosity how did you get 100%. I am currently going through a divorce and might be facing a custody battle with my 11 year old. Initially it was supposed to be 50/50. I was even going to let her keep the house but now she can’t afford the house if we have to refinance and so she’s trying to move hours away and then 50/50 becomes impossible so my lawyer might end up asking for more. I was just curious.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/26 06:04 AM
1

Honestly just by posting in here can be a support system of sorts. Plenty of ppl going through or have already been through what you’re dealing with. There’s been a lot of solid advice here
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/26 01:04 AM
1

The not giving up part is becoming a bit harder day by day. We’ve had two instances lately where she tried to even bite me. One time my 10 year old had to pull her off me. This is insantiy. Lawyer told me not to move. Lawyer also said let her do the leg work and file since she’s wanting the divorce. But man I dunno anymore. And while this sub Reddit is great i feel like all this reading I do is pulling me in completely different directions at times lol. Sighs and I’m not even looking for much he…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 09:39 PM
2

Omg 4% to me is wild. And here I’m sitting here thinking there’s no way in hell I’m settling for anything less than 50/50 in this aspect and I don’t care what I have to go through to get that
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 04:25 PM
3

as someone that is currently dealing with this process that is seemingly never ending.......honestly I don't think there will be a set of things to get the old self back. I think this will just happen in time. At least this is what I'm hopeful of. You grieve, your sad, you become depressed and then you heal. You get better. You grow. I guess my advice, continue to do the things that give you enjoyment in life. This Christmas Eve was the first time I didn't spend it with my soon to be ex, my step…
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/25 02:44 AM
1

This is why I'm so dead set on having an agreement in place where I do see him 50/50 before moving.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 07:35 PM
1

Is 3 actually true? I was told 50/50 is what most courts would do. I’m not settling for this every other weekend nonsense.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 04:19 AM
5

You didn't fail. She just didn't realize and appreciate what you did. You'll find someone that does.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/25 11:12 PM
1

Thanks. I appreciate that. It's been very difficult but I'm doing the best I can at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 11:24 PM
3

Also the POS is apparently coming for Christmas Eve. *sorry I know that's a bit off topic but I needed to vent here.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:27 AM
4

I totally understand wanting to. I mean two weeks ago I went on Spotify to view my wrapped for the year and saw my soon to be ex wife profile pic.........had another guy in it with her. The anger wants me to put her on blast but others have said.......it's her family. And that's a tricky thing with my situation. I moved here. Took care of two stepdaughters, took care of their grandkids.......have a 10 year old son with her. And as much as I would love to say something, I know know if I want any …
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 01:26 AM
3

I told mine. I mean I quickly realized here I have a hard time hiding my feelings so it wasn’t as if people couldn’t tell I was going through something. I figured why not. Actually I’ve taken the stance of pretty much telling everyone which is probably a bit odd. I just figure the more I tell the more advice I get the better. Actually my boss husband happens to be a lawyer. He’s not a divorce lawyer but he was able to refer me to someone that was. So something I wouldn’t have known had I not jus…
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/25 07:07 PM
2

She wanted me to write out a listing on what I wanted and so I did that. I asked what she had and in it was things like full custody, 100% her debt being my responsiblity, half my retirement etc etc. All of this is pure insanity to me.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 05:07 AM
1

Child support in WV is done by a calculator. She tried to make it seem like if I got him off the bus and kept him while she was at the office then she'd get him. Initially I thought oh ok. Then my lawyer told me if it's not overnight it doesn't count as 50/50. It has to be 50/50. Argh I probably should proceed and file (tho it appears like she is filing like tomorrow). All of this and I'm thinking maybe I should have just worked with her from the beginning. For the longest time I was in denial. …
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:55 AM
1

*sighs sadly I think all retionality and reasonableness is out the door lol.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:51 AM
1

So your the first one here that's suggest to NOT stay and I think what your saying makes sense. I worried about the issue of abandonment but she's already talking about temporary restraining orders (CRAZY). I just worried about leaving THEN her requesting in the papers everything she said she wouldn't. This is what is KILLING ME. It's like I am agreeing to 50% because obviously it's what I feel fair. But man I'm already struggling with not 100%. She tried to make it like oh you can get him off t…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:51 AM
1

Thanks. This is why I worried tho. Not that I didn't move out she is putting in the papers all sorts of shit like saddling me with her debt (student loans) and half my retirement. But then again I guess like you said, she could have done that had I moved out anyways.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:45 AM
1

So we've been in separate rooms for the past year now. And most of the time she's been staying with her daughter (or bf most likely). She is demanding I move out and I was willing to do that but wanted an agreement in place. And now that I tried to do an agreement she shows me what she has in the papers and it's things like saddling me with 100% of her debt and half my retirement......things we agreed on we would not do if I gave you the equity in the house. So needless to say I'm staying put fo…
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:42 AM
1

I think if my 10 year old wasn't involved, I would have gone that route. Actually I'd just as well sell the house and split the profits and move on. But with him, I wanted him to stay in the house and I was willing to give up the equity even if that's all she wanted. But now.............who knows.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:23 AM
1

Yeah I think I am past the point of trusting here. I mean it's just crazy. I was giving her exactly what she wanted. I just wasn't moving fast enough or until there was an agreement in place. And now she's trying to go after everything.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:22 AM
1

It's unreal. Last week she wanted me to write out what I wanted from this. I present what I wanted which is bsaically just 50/50 custody and not to be saddled with her debt and I shared this with her and she has in hers that I am responsbile for 100% of her debt. Fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:21 AM
2

welp that's definitely NOT happening haha.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:19 AM
1

The problem is she's using me not moving as a way to get more out of this. The agreement was that if I would give up the house, she wouldn't go after the retirement or saddle me with the debt. But now that I haven't moved out she's trying to take all that from me. 100K in student loans that I had no idea about. Unreal how this process is.
/r/Divorce_Men19/11/25 04:19 AM
1

I feel like I'm reading exactly what I am dealing with. Wife wants me gone. I told her I would go when she filed ..........and yet.......this hasn't happened and I'm being blamed because she feels like she has to be out of the house.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 11:35 PM
1

As someone that is going through a divorce that my wife initiated as well and something I defintely do not want, I totally understand what you mean. Even now, as I am writing up an agreement on what I am looking for moving forward, I am STILL presenting options that do not involve divorce. So the below comments while I think are just being honest and up front, I say if you want to reconcile, keep on trying to do so. That's what I am doing. The vows meant something to me. People get divorced way …
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/25 08:30 PM
7

The kicker is now I’m being painted out like I wasn’t a good dad. And I’m like whatttttt. I supported those girls their entire life. Their dad never came around to see them. I get it. Divorces are messy. My wife actually decided to run up our credit card in this process. I was at the bank and the guy tells me you know there’s a large purchase recently. We looked at it and it was for some countertops for the house Looking further into it, the place she buys it from was my stepdaughters husband fa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:20 AM
16

Similar boat. I practically raised two daughters when they were 3 and 6. I was there when their dad wasn’t. And now that the wife and I are heading for divorce although I made it known I wanted to continue relationship with them and the grandkids it’s beginning to feel that might not happen. So wild to me. I get it. Their mom is their mom. But man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 01:14 AM
2

I wish I had seen this two weeks ago before the wife completely wiped out the savings account
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/25 10:19 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2026. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter