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V3r1disqu0 Archive

View 4 posts and 27 comments by V3r1disqu0 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

It's not about how it affects me. It's about how his stress level affects our son. I don't want to be a carbon copy of him, demanding things from him as soon as he gets in the car, because it's how my husband chooses to parent. I don't see that as healthy.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 04:44 PM
8

The underlying issue, which you've picked up on, is that my husband carries a tremendous amount of stress (he had a. unhealthy upbringing himself,) and it tends to manifest itself a lot in making a big deal out of many small issues. I feel that if I accommodate it, I am reinforcing that as normal behavior, and I'm not sure that's a good idea.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 04:08 PM
6

Thanks for the perspective! My husband deals with chronic health issues, so stress is always going to be a factor, unfortunately. My son tends to be awake and dressed and breakfasted before my husband comes out in the morning. (He asked to have his own alarm clock at the start of this school year.) He also asked to pack his own lunch, and at least when it's done on my watch, he seems to enjoy doing it. I taught him some basic nutrition, and we have easy choices for him to assemble in his lunchbo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/24 03:05 PM
1

Thanks.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/23 01:38 AM
1

He had an unsafe childhood, so there were a lot of different events. According to the counselor I saw, that makes the anxiety more entrenched and difficult to address. I could definitely see dentistry being anxiety-triggering for a lot of people! He obviously doesn't trust me, unfortunately, as he's expressed the opinion that the house would fall apart if left in my care. He bases that opinion on minor things that weren't done to his satisfaction, or on tasks he doesn't want to do but doesn't tr…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 07:02 PM
1

That's a very perceptive summary, and accurate! Thank you very much for all of your insight. You've obviously learned a lot from your personal journey.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 10:31 AM
2

Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you unfortunately know what you're talking about. So would this approach be incompatible with the classic "I feel... when you...." method that they teach in counseling?
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 10:26 AM
2

He does care a lot, which is one of the reasons we're still married after 20 years of this! That's quite insightful. I think sometimes it would help if I could convince him to care less about the small stuff. Unfortunately he has generalized anxiety, rather than anxiety from a specific source like work. That being said, he's never been able to have even a moderately demanding job without quitting because the stress is making him physically ill. He currently works from home doing very low stress …
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 10:21 AM
3

Thank you. It helps to hear that.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 01:27 AM
2

Mine had a super similar childhood, except she did every little thing for him while acting like a resentful martyr- a trait he unfortunately inherited. He already chastises me for "ignoring" him while he's lecturing, but I've tried all kinds of other methods, so it probably won't hurt!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 01:26 AM
3

Thanks! ♥️ The counselor I said told me something very similar to you.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/23 01:23 AM
5

You are correct in that he probably used up all of his "pleasantness" seeing his friend for dinner. He isn't able to work outside the home, as the social aspect of work is too much for him. You are also correct in that I don't trust him. I love him very much, but there are key things I've found that I can't depend on him for, including primary wage earning. The thing is, whenever I make accommodations, he gets worse. We set things up so he could work from home, and since then he's grown even mor…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 04:48 PM
3

This isn't a temporary state, unfortunately. I do understand that it's never about the thing he gets upset about, but I've already made major accommodations to make things work. For example, we moved so that he could have a work from home job, as working outside the home made him infinitely worse. I work an early shift so that I can pick up our son from school and take care of everything at home in the afternoons. There's much more that I could list. None of it is ever enough to even fractionall…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 04:39 PM
7

We had that conversation. He said I was being controlling, and that I needed to see a counselor. (Another way his anxiety manifests itself is twisting everything around so that it's not about his behavior. He got good at that from a young age because his parents were abusive.) At other times he's admitted to a fear that he isn't a good parent, but awareness doesn't seem to equal the ability to interrupt his visceral reactions to things that feel out of control to him. Also, touching him when he'…
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/23 04:31 PM
2

In my experience (I'm about 25 years past college, so I've had a chance to see everyone I grew up with pair off,) people tend to end up with someone who is of comparable intelligence to themselves, as well as an approximate looks match. "Chemistry" matches, where looks was a major factor to begin with, appear to be more difficult to maintain over time.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/23 09:29 PM
2

Just wanted to second the "self assured and comfortable guys" part. My best friend is a doctor, and her first marriage fell through because the guy was too needy. She is now with another doctor. My neighbor across the street is a doctor with four kids, and her husband is a stay at home dad who's a real Renaissance type man, does all the car/home/landscape type stuff and is totally comfortable with who he is. My old boss (great guy,) worked in STEM, while his wife was a doctor. They found a dayca…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/23 09:18 PM
1

We pretty much split everything 50/50 in terms of household tasks. It's clear to me when he's protecting/providing, but I'm less sure what the tending part looks like in this situation. He works from home, so he cooks more often than me, but I do most of the cleaning. He drops off our child and I pick up, etc. I did offramp my career for three years when I had a baby, but it became obvious that I enjoy working outside the home and he doesn't, plus I'm in STEM and my earning potential is much hig…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/23 09:20 PM
7

I think the original meaning of "feminist" might have actually worked: wanting equal rights with men. But pretty much nobody uses that strict interpretation anymore, and it's no good using a word in a way that no one will interpret correctly. Also, there's the issue of whether equal treatment is actually desirable. You run into all sorts of complex issues, like how the selective service would work in a genuinely egalitarian society.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 03:09 AM
5

Paul Among the People, by Sarah Ruden is a very interesting read if you're anti-Paul. Put in its proper historical context, the stuff he said would have been quite pro-female.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/23 03:00 AM
1

Yeah, in practice "egalitarian" seems to mean trying to ignore differences that obviously exist.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 10:46 PM
2

I like the term "lionheart." It reminds me of the line in the Chronicles of Narnia when Aslan tells Lucy that she's a lioness.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 10:45 PM
7

😆 If that's the case, why are so many people unrealistic?
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 10:43 PM
6

I discarded that option because in my personal experience, complementarian tends to mean in practice "a church that has a list of things that women aren't allowed to do." I'm also uncertain where my personal theology lies on the subject of men's vs women's roles in the church, despite studying it quite a bit.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 10:42 PM
4

I wear yoga shorts underneath anything shorter than knee length. It does wonders for my comfort level in skirts and summer dresses.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 03:40 PM
1

Try looking into capsule wardrobes. If you're looking to change your style, it's a great way to get a lot of mileage out of a few pieces. Personally, I dress to compliment my skin tone. (You can find more on this if you Google it.) I like pieces that feel comfortable and don't get in my way, while still looking reasonably classy.
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/23 03:33 PM
3

If you want a more neuroscience based look, read Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax. The Power of Wow by Lori Bryant-Woolridge is basically a feminine workshop in a book. And I also agree with everyone else about Alison Armstrong!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/23 10:54 PM
1

I'll qualify this by saying that I'm a long time gamer, so with some of these your husband may be better with the combat part. My two musts for a good game are interesting environment and quality story. I'll list games my husband and I both enjoyed, and you can look into the ones that catch your eye. Kingdom Come Deliverance (set in Medieval Europe, you play a peasant. You aren't supposed to be good at fighting when you start.) Witcher 3 (Sword based combat, pretty simple technique. I played Ger…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/23 10:13 PM
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