My husband drops our son off at school, and I pick him up. He's eight, and normally very responsible, but maybe once or twice a week he forgets his water bottle.

My husband insists that I sit there every day and go over a checklist of everything our son is supposed to remember and ask him whether he's gotten in trouble that day first thing when he gets in the car.

I made a checklist for our son to look at after school, and put it where he can see it, but I don't draw his attention to it every day.

I feel like hovering over my son first thing with a list of stuff he's supposed to remember is a bad idea. I want to greet him and ask him how his day was, and I want him to feel responsible to remember things for himself, rather than externalizing that responsibility in an unhealthy way. He's shown that he'll turn over notes from his teacher on his own, if he's gotten in trouble.

My husband, who carries a lot of stress, thinks I'm being lazy and irresponsible. He gets really upset out when he discovers in the morning that our son has forgotten his water bottle and takes away his privileges, and sends me agitated texts complaining that "he has to be everyone's brain." He says he has to nag our son to make his lunch in the mornings and get him out the door. He doesn't behave that way when I'm the one doing the morning routine, in fact we usually leave early.

I don't consider forgetting a water bottle a huge deal. He can drink out of a cup. I don't think he should loose privileges over it, or get a big talking to. He just has to remember to get it when he goes back to school the next day.

Am I being unreasonable?