What does "tending" look like for you?

AppropriateEbb5556 · 2023-04-24T15:11:40+00:00

Tending to the needs of the people around you means learning about them, taking those needs in consideration and making a conscious effort to fulfill them.

It means being sacrificial in your day to day life.

PsychoticNurse · 2023-04-24T15:55:27+00:00

To me, tending is taking on what feminists call "emotional labor". I make sure husband takes his meds, stays up to date of health exams. I do all the meal planning/cooking, I serve him meals. I'm there for him when he needs to vent about something, either giving advice or just listening (depends on what he's looking for at that time). I support his career goals and also let him know if something isn't feasible for the family. Pretty much, I take all the things he doesn't really want to do/know how to do. And he takes the things I don't like to do/know how to do.

Wife_and_Mama · 2023-04-24T17:13:40+00:00

I stay home with our children, while my husband works. For me, tending means keeping a comfortable home. I keep it clean, keep the toys put away, make sure things are easy to find, keep the house smelling nice, decorate it warmly on the cheap, and keep the fridge and pantry stocked. My husband is not a man of flowery words, but the greatest compliments he's given me were to say that our home is so comfortable and that raising kids with me is the most fun he's ever had.

angelicasinensis · 2023-04-24T16:12:37+00:00

Usually I cook and clean for my husband and take care of him when he is sick. I buy all of his clothes and shoes. However my husband does take care of me when I’m sick as well and I get a daily massage and he helps me with my garden and he does all the dishes (I do most of the rest of the cleaning , but I’m also home all day with the kids.) I make my husbands doctors appointments and attend to his medical stuff.

ArkNemesis00 · 2023-04-24T20:39:54+00:00

A big part of it is homemaking. I picked out the furniture for our house and put it all together. I cook and clean and care for the kids. I track what we need and order it. I record expenses and gather the data my husband needs to analysis our spending. I maintain.

But I also consider it my duty to help my husband have a full life. I encourage him to pursue his hobbies and make time for his friends and family. I host parties and events for our family and his.

Recently, I threw his grandmother a birthday party and set up a playdate with her and my mil and my kids. Weeks later, his grandmother passed away. Those were some of the last social events of her life, and they were mentioned at her funeral many times.

It means a lot to my husband that I take the time to strengthen the familial bonds in his life. He feels it reflects well on both of us, and is proud of me for it.

FriendCountZero · 2023-04-24T18:17:51+00:00

The season of Castle Rock that's based on Misery has this quote about "searchers" and "settlers". In the show it refers to individual people as being either searchers or settlers, but to me women are settlers and should lean into that. It means taking everything you have and making the best of it. Work on your living space to make it serve you and your family. The most comfortable, convenient, safe feeling, etc just prioritize what your home should give you and then focus on what you can do to get more of those things.

pieorstrudel5 · 2023-04-24T21:12:10+00:00

I see you said you work full time... Homemaking looks different for sure. It's just hard.

If you can afford it.... Weekly cleaning service, lawn service as needed, scheduling grocery delivery, and then any other errands. Whatever you can afford to outsource do it. Tending can be that you manage all of them.

The slow cooker is your friend. Also freezer meals. I always try to keep about a week or two of meals in the freezer and pantry. The crock pot liner bags? A god send. After dinner I put the leftovers in storage. Pull the liner. Put in the ingredients for the new recipe and then the next morning I put the crock into the pot and hit go (I actually highly recommend the Hamilton Beach programmable one that switches to warm after Xx hours). I also love to make "bars". One week I'll cook quinoa and make Greek marinated chicken. I'll get hummus, frozen falafel, olive, banana peppers, red onion, tomatoes, cucumbers, pita and we'll have BYO Greek bowls through our the week. You can do the same for any cuisine (Mexican, Asian, Indian, ert).

But truly... If both of you are working and you are the bread winner. I'd say some weeks you'll tend and some weeks he'll tend.

Mommy_Koala · 2023-04-24T21:11:43+00:00

My husband is the sole income earner in our marriage, I don’t handle anything money related. That’s a big job in our house, and as a business owner my husband is never not working. So essentially I tend to him by making his life easier whenever and wherever I can.

This means cooking, cleaning, laundry, and making sure whenever he runs out of something there’s always a backup waiting for him. I do all the decorating and shopping and handle all the holidays and scheduling of events and social calendars. Basically I take care of most things house and family related, with a few exceptions. We have a blue/pink job system that works pretty well for us, basically anything he doesn’t like doing is a pink job, anything too physically demanding for me is a blue job.

My husband is a very stoic guy and doesn’t have a lot of emotional needs that need tending. He hates overly dramatic displays of emotion, so I try to meet him at his level. Admittedly, i’m a reformed drama queen, so this means i’m always second guessing my initial reaction before I act. I like to make sure me and my kids are happy to see him when he walks in the door (yay! Daddy’s home!) that our home life is free from chaos, and I show him physical affection often.

Also, I don’t complain when he golfs, this is very important in my house.

AutoModerator · 2023-04-24T14:47:58+00:00

Title: What does "tending" look like for you?

Full text: Recently I was listening to a talk from Alison Armstrong, and she said that men protect and provide, while women tend.

I'm curious about how "tending" looks in your lives.

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Title	What does "tending" look like for you?
Author	V3r1disqu0
Upvotes	21
Comments	28
Date	April 24, 2023 2:47 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/12xifsi/what_does_tending_look_like_for_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/what-does-tending-look-like-for-you.1216691 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216691

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