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VintageVee Archive

View 14 posts and 301 comments by VintageVee on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

I love that you referred to this again! <3
/r/RedPillWives18/04/17 09:28 PM
1

Leave, leave, leave. You CANNOT marry a man like that, have kids with him, trust him. He will cheat, he will break your heart, trust me I married him and got divorced a few kids later.
/r/RedPillWives17/04/17 10:25 AM
1

UK 6 is a USA 2.
/r/RedPillWives17/04/17 10:22 AM
2

My winning the lottery comment was about feeling that you can't believe you've met someone with all these awesome qualities who adores you back. I didn't mean the euphoric can't eat can't sleep honeymoon phase. I mean long term feeling like a really lucky girl cause your partner is awesome and you're excited about that. That doesn't fade with the right person. Dead bedroom was relevant as that often occurs years into marriage when you just can't be bothered to try and pretend you're excited by y…
/r/RedPillWives26/02/17 09:32 PM
8

If you're having those sorts of doubts I think you've answered your own questions. When you're properly in love you feel like you've won the lottery. I think if you marry this guy you'll end up resentful and in one of those deadbedroom marriages where you know you've settled and you aren't actually in love after a few years. For me laziness is a red flag , nothing drives me more wild. but everyone has their own bug bears.
/r/RedPillWives26/02/17 12:47 PM
2

Wonderful thank you. It's hard to find good boys books especially series - I have two little boys, one of whom is an insatiable reader (like me :D )
/r/RedPillWives26/02/17 11:26 AM
1

Congratulations ! So wonderful. I feel the same about RPWi and my recent engagement. Lovely mini FR :) xx
/r/RedPillWives25/02/17 02:24 PM
3

My story is that I've always been a very submissive wife type but unfortunately didnt vet my first husband so ended up divorced with two kids by mid twenties. When I joined reddit I saw TRP and RPW disparaged in some other groups as 'backward 50s ideals' and out of curiosity came on over, loved it ever since. It isnt backward and it's much more than it seems. It's taught me about vetting and Im now engaged to be married to a solid Good Man who adores me and the kids, doesnt put up with any shit,…
/r/RedPillWives20/02/17 02:26 PM
1

AMEN!
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 06:32 PM
3

My personal opinions are that it's fine for any number of reasons and absolutely preferable to children being born into a split or severely poverty stricken family or otherwise just unwanted. I personally could never do it and I know that for a fact, but I think it's fine.
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 02:56 PM
5

That's absolutely adorable!
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 02:55 PM
5

We don't do V day at all, in any shape or form, we're both totally derisive of it and hate consumerist stuff. But we'd never pee on anyone else's parade at all! I am however planning to buy a lot of half price V day decorations etc for our September wedding!
/r/RedPillWives12/02/17 02:54 PM
4

I do it when he's stressed. He's a manager and hates having to berate the factory workers so if he's having a tough time I'm like, here's some boobs! Or, here's a cute pic of the kids and the guinea pigs. He says it instantly cheers him up, and in the kids pic case, says it instantly reminds him what he's working for.xx
/r/RedPillWives10/02/17 05:43 PM
9

Blow jobs. Lots of. Massages. Cooking. Always having favourite snacks in/baking them. Cute or sexy selfies depending on mood. Always filling up whatever he's drinking.
/r/RedPillWives10/02/17 11:51 AM
3

Thanks :D
/r/RedPillWives10/02/17 11:23 AM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives09/02/17 07:35 AM
2

Thanks darling!
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 11:57 PM
2

It's sweet, don't worry ;) and thank you!
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 11:56 PM
2

Thanks Phantom :D
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 10:59 PM
1

It was the only thing I said I absolutely had to have in a ring. I only wear yellow gold. I know it's really old fashioned but so am I lol and I wear mostly original or repro vintage clothing so...makes sense.
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 10:59 PM
1

I love babies, especially now mine are big! I have absolutely no idea how to upload a photo here! He got me a brilliant-cut diamond solitaire on a thin yellow gold band - i.e. beautifullllllll
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 10:35 PM
1

thanks :D
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 10:19 PM
1

Thank you!! I hear congratulations are in order for someone else around here too?!! x
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 10:19 PM
3

yes it's absolutely wonderful! I was so excited to get on here and share my joy but my phone broke, then the internet was dodgy for 6 weeks, and it all just went to pot lol. But yes, everything's wonderful - and I sit here typing that with a throbbing mouth from having a tooth out today so you know I must be happy overall, lol! Thanks :D
/r/RedPillWives08/02/17 09:28 PM
2

Huge congratulations !
/r/RedPillWives31/07/16 03:53 PM
1

I'm needy, and I am very jealous. I don't express these even half as much as I feel them. I feel strongly that these will go away more and more committed we get. I have noticed that tendency over the months. Right now we are in the final months before we get engaged and yeah, I'm pretty much on tenterhooks. I really would like to chill more. We have all these lovely plans. I feel like I want to crack on with them !
/r/RedPillWives31/07/16 03:43 PM
1

I second all advice received here as yet. And would add that confidence and consistency is key. If you're clearly comfortable with the standards you have, and have belief in them to maintain them (like maintaining girl frame I guess) it's clear to others. My OH has frequently said he's laughed other girls into bed before despite their protestations they wouldn't so soon. But he said he wouldn't have pushed my principles because I had conviction.
/r/RedPillWives31/07/16 03:31 PM
3

Did I miss...? Are you expecting, KK? Huge congrats if so! X
/r/RedPillWives17/07/16 10:38 AM
2

Some of these are adorable and some would make my man think I'd been at the wacky baccy. Some would seem crazy insincere coming from me ! But I don't think there's a day goes by I don't tell him by message or to his face how much I love, fancy and appreciate him. I especially love those, "last night was hot " conversations. Mmmmm! Thanks for sharing this post !
/r/RedPillWives17/07/16 10:35 AM
3

I had my children aged 21 and 24. I actually think that was the right age for me. I had not grown into selfish independence by such a young age - I didn't know what it was to be living alone and set in my ways having all my own way. I am an energetic mother. I'll be done and dusted largely by the time I turn 40, so I can then focus on travel and career (this is my SO and I's I ideal)
/r/RedPillWives15/07/16 09:31 AM
4

Beautiful. My OH took me to see the ballet version of TTOTS last month and it was very fitting. And adapted surprisingly well to a ballet with, obviously, no speech. Very clever.
/r/RedPillWives11/07/16 11:29 PM
4

I have this situation a lot when offering my man to come out with the kids and I. We've had a few serious conversations where I've said, I never want you to feel obligated, we do always love your company. So on a day to day basis I'm free to say, I'm taking the kids here if you fancy joining us - no stress if not :) big smile. 80% of the time he will join. I'm never offended if not. I like the simple casual 'easy opt out' style of offering . "No stress" or "no worries" is man language. I barely …
/r/RedPillWives11/07/16 09:27 PM
2

Nailed it
/r/RedPillWives07/07/16 03:12 PM
1

Perfect
/r/RedPillWives07/07/16 12:41 PM
1

Same
/r/RedPillWives04/07/16 05:40 PM
2

I'm a cooker, I hate cleaning. I'm reserved until know people, then very chatty , warm, loyal. Hugely empathic and overly sensitive. Such an interesting read.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 06:41 PM
6

She's nuts. I would never do this to my SO and he'd never stand for it!
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 06:38 PM
1

Much relieved for you !
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 06:36 PM
6

There aren't words for how much i love this book. I'm 3/4ths of the way through and can't put it down. Just heading out but in brief, top 2 pros and cons for me. Pros: very in depth about specifically what character traits to develop and how to achieve them. Very detailed discussion with multiple examples and testimonials. Draws on literary characters for analysis and comparison. Gets to the heart of what men want. Analyses the hell out of it. Tremendously in depth. Cons: very hard on women who …
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 06:33 PM
1

If he's totally cool with you playing with his phone and PC then I seriously doubt he's up to something. My SO started to get very secretive with his phone and a month ago and it made me so nervous , feelings of dread. But I didn't push it as I wholeheartedly trust him and my gut feeling was sound. Turns out he threw me a surprise party last week! And had been texting friends! Glad I didn't freak out. Anyway have you asked him yet ?x
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 06:26 PM
2

I'd be suspicious of that. I did this when researching divorcing my ex husband. It's rarely a good thing. Is he hyper security aware , could that be a reason? But if he's letting you use his laptop I'm guessing not that bad...?
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 07:04 PM
2

He could easily be proof reading a friends profile. Ive asked friends to do that for me when single.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 01:00 PM
2

Good luck. I put Sherlock to shame when I am suspicious. It is a very ugly quality that denotes lack of trust, I am Seriously working on it.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 12:16 PM
2

I'm just thinking of all the times I've gone in guns blazing and it's been absolutely nothing. And I've made a real tit of myself. I've learned now! Obviously it could be anything and its better just to ask calmly.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 12:02 PM
5

Once this happened to me - I was using a browser that didn't block pop-up ads and I accidentally clicked on a dating site. It would have showed up in my history. Is this possible ? Also, my current browser seems to add sites visited once or twice to my favourites on homepage. Possibly because I only ever use about 3 sites on my laptop. Just floating ideas. I'd definitely ask in the way tempest tcup suggests.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 11:25 AM
2

Love it. Never heard of this book - would you recommend ?
/r/RedPillWives26/06/16 05:38 PM
1

Looking forward to reading them. X
/r/RedPillWives23/06/16 04:31 PM
2

How's every one doing? I'm completely exhausted this week, and last. and honestly need to prioritise self care...managing not to be bitchy though.
/r/RedPillWives23/06/16 01:54 PM
1

I'm in ! I've caught myself whining at my SO every day for 4 days. How stupid.
/r/RedPillWives20/06/16 01:42 PM
3

I did this when I Monk Mode'd for a year after my divorce and oh it was so essential. so worth it.I had never done it before and ended up completely in the wrong marriage - with kids. so painful. These are what I decided on - and it's really paid dividends. Not in any order. 1) straight-up. That is, reliable, honest, with integrity. A man who doesn't deceive, squirm, hide things, and can be honest with me and with himself , is a very basic need. 2) fun and imaginative, puts effort in, as pertain…
/r/RedPillWives18/06/16 09:37 AM
7

Beautiful post, I agree with it all except the references to god.
/r/RedPillWives17/06/16 04:57 PM
3

So true. My man is very good at conflict - he never sets out to wound. He reminds me we are on the same team - its not "me Vs him" when we row (which is rare) -it's "us vs Thing that's making us row."
/r/RedPillWives16/06/16 08:40 AM
1

It made me very depressed. I also bled a lot and put on weight, and very moody. Never again.
/r/RedPillWives15/06/16 03:47 PM
3

I would agree with adding cosy feminine touches without removing his stuff. Fresh flowers always and a candle or two regularly lit (not tons and not conflicting scents) - I think he's asking for your feminine touches to be shown through the house. when my man helped me move house he was absolutely amazed a) that the previous house was completely unfurnished and undecorated - everything in there was mine and my touches. He just couldn't believe it that a person could create a cohesive house "look…
/r/RedPillWives15/06/16 09:09 AM
7

This is hilarious !
/r/RedPillWives15/06/16 09:01 AM
1

Wicked traditional is good! Myself, my SO and all my family are super close and super traditional. I can't imagine for a second he would propose without asking my dad's blessing well in advance.
/r/RedPillWives14/06/16 08:01 PM
1

Aww thank you. It was really special. He also took my dad out for a drink that night and "discussions were had". It could be months off but...OMG! :D :D
/r/RedPillWives14/06/16 06:40 PM
2

Hi Fhigure! Hope you're both OK and adjusting - I read your previous post but didn't have anything relevant to add. So far this week,hmmm... 1) well, I think. Paying off debts, applying for new jobs. House is regularly very clean, food prep is good. I'm still too snappy with my kids - they are both hard work. My youngest starts preschool this month and I'm excited and relieved to finally get regular free time. 2) we had an amazing weekend together - our one year anniversary. He did lots of roman…
/r/RedPillWives14/06/16 10:15 AM
1

There's nothing wrong with racism ? Really? I can't even...
/r/RedPillWives14/06/16 09:55 AM
2

Amen to that, SDC. I thought it would be right up your street when I posted it. Racism is alive and real, I'm aware of that from my WOC friends although I think there is a lot of denial that it still is a problem.
/r/RedPillWives13/06/16 08:29 AM
6

This is exactly how I feel about my man. Beautiful post, thanks.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 12:11 PM
3

Yeah, I actually do. I've hinted as much to him but not said to anyone else. I admire him deeply n worship wouldn't be an exaggeration.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 12:09 PM
3

Hi :) I wrote a whole field report on it. If you scroll back it was written end of April and its called "how I gained exclusivity before sex" and details my girl game. Short answer - I waited til he brought it up on 2nd date and nicely said, I don't have sex without a r.ship.
/r/RedPillWives10/06/16 12:09 PM
6

Good god woman, no. Next. This is not about age gap - and I say that as a woman in a relationship with a man significantly older, a bigger gap than this one here - his behaviour is just outright not about a man who wants an LTR. You have a shared kink. That's fine. You haven't been on any proper dates. not fine. Honestly I could have stopped reading there and still wrote what I'm about to write. This man is gonna use you - and he's been pretty clear about that. And I think you know this. If you'…
/r/RedPillWives10/06/16 08:41 AM
2

I'm trying :) things slip out without me thinking ! Must engage brain ! When I do catch myself, I stop myself. I'm not window licking engagement ring displays at the jewellers - well, only in my head :D :D :D
/r/RedPillWives06/06/16 10:27 AM
3

Very hard to choose ! Enjoyed re reading these and voting.
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 07:12 PM
2

That's absolutely adorable.
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 07:11 PM
3

It's pretty obvious in my book. I'm happy to do a lot of work in the relationship , in the home, with the kids, garden, animals, but I won't lead. At all. ever. Unless we're married and catastrophe strikes and first-mate has to take over for a while. Our roles are crystal clear. I couldn't be in a relationship otherwise, wouldn't be happy. I'd be the snarky cow I was when married.
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 12:49 PM
3

I have dated guys that don't get it, and my gods is it hard work. They never end up leading. I even married one! never again. I took a long look at myself and was honest about the fact that my preferred relationship is HLh and I need to be pursued obviously and consistently in order to feel happy and safe. And I've never so much as initiated conversation with a man I found attractive since that realisation. SO did all of the instigating when we first clapped eyes on each other and I'm unbelievab…
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 10:31 AM
2

If your man has repeatedly said, "when we get married" etc etc, is it ever OK to make comments like that yourself, or should he always always initiate that ? My instinct says the latter, but I find myself pointing out houses I like, and commenting on weddingy things more than I used to. I guess I feel comfy being open and a little vulnerable like that now because he's literally said we will be married within 2-3yrs max. And has said it several times, seriously. He doesn't seem to mind these comm…
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 10:13 AM
2

I had a lot of solid advice from the ladies here, I'll try and find the link to my thread. I actually struggle more, the more committed we get. But if you're dating an alpha dude, it stands to reason other women are going to think hes hot, and try it on. Even if you're right there! There are some classless sloots in the world. It's all in how he responds (ie my man doesn't) and how you handle it (don't be a crazy bitch)
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 10:08 AM
2

Absolutely. I vetted to death. There's nothing like being divorced by mid twenties to make you PICKY AS HELL when you get back to dating. I went on a lot of dodgy first dates before I met SO. Ain't planning to lose him !
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 10:05 AM
2

LMAO! Mooo, bitch! Well I don't have any advice for you, isn't it funny how different we all are with our own particular brand of insecurity. I would love not to have a jealous bone in my body ! When I was dating, I had to pick a man who was not so flirty...I can't handle him mildly flirting with another woman. Just. Ouch, so ouch. I'd pick competitiveness as my insecurity du jour any day of the week.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 09:33 PM
2

Quite simply, I'm happy to be wrong. I'm not remotely bothered. I would never break my word or promise, but being wrong doesn't trouble me. I don't keep score. I don't compete. I struggle with other things, like jealousy and trying not to be a snarky cow, but not being right. X
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 07:11 PM
1

Would agree.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 02:40 PM
2

Does anyone have an opinion on the Jonny Depp/Amber Heard debacle ? I feel like she's baited him and is trying screw him through this in an oh so sudden divorce.
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 09:13 AM
2

Thanks, SDG. In addition to that I wore flattering, form fitting (even tight) clothing our first few dates. But didn't actually show much skin. And a loose sun dress for the third as we were experiencing a most unusual heatwave. He later commented that while the first few dates I looked "sexy and attractive", the sun dress was a winner. Apparently I looked innocent... ! (Mmmmhmmmm!) So there's that side to consider. There's something to be said for a woman who looks like butter wouldn't melt but…
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 07:28 AM
2

Lovely post, as ever Camille. Very interesting reading. I am definitely on the neotenous side - and forever getting ID'd! I consider myself pretty good with makeup and it's definitely a passion/hobby of mine - it's just fun ! Eagerly awaiting the second post :) x
/r/RedPillWives02/06/16 07:22 AM
3

Sure, grab a spare cauldron !
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 06:43 PM
3

I agree with this. I love all the "fluff" and the field reports, but for me the rp theory is the meat of it, and really what hits home and helps me understand how to improve. I like the bigger picture. And some things which sit uncomfortably at first have turned out to be the biggest gems if you sit with it for a few months and take an honest look at yourself. I never realised how manipulative I was until I discovered rpw nigh on 3yrs ago. I rejected it at first and thought this was pure fanatic…
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 06:42 PM
2

I've had this on this link - I'm unable to view it, are you?
/r/RedPillWives31/05/16 12:37 PM
4

Lol, feisty, stroppy, submissive women unite! ;)
/r/RedPillWives30/05/16 01:32 PM
3

I really enjoyed this. Thank you. I'm definitely going to watch this. Submission is definitely not for the weak...with others I'm not submissive - I'm a fairly assertive person all round. But my natural feelings towards my very dominant SO couldn't be other. I'm a feisty, fiery, quick tempered sort of person and the hardest part of rp for me is trying not to snap or say something out of turn when I'm in a grump. Luckily it's hard to be in a grump with SO because he's basically perfect - certainl…
/r/RedPillWives30/05/16 09:22 AM
2

It started because I called it red pill and then I had to explain the concept that some women don't defer to their men and it all got a bit weird and wordy. So he thinks this is like...online Women's Institute lol where we share recipes and talk through problems. Which is pretty accurate.
/r/RedPillWives28/05/16 10:40 AM
1

Yes. It's excellent. It talks a lot about vulnerability, intimacy, trying, effort.
/r/RedPillWives28/05/16 10:37 AM
7

Yeah, I call it my Happy Wives Club. He isn't a redditor, he wouldn't find the sub and whilst I wouldn't necessarily be thrilled if he saw some of my posts here (I've asked for advice re struggles with my jealousy, other un-pretty things) if he outright asked to see them I'd never hide it. But he has his boys clubs and we respect each others space, internet wise. We have always had an rp relationship but I've never explained it as a thing. We call ourselves traditional. I had to learn rpw - he w…
/r/RedPillWives27/05/16 07:01 PM
3

That is so cool!
/r/RedPillWives26/05/16 07:17 AM
2

My man does the "little girl" thing too. There's no way for it to not sound creepy when written but it's actually adorable <3
/r/RedPillWives26/05/16 07:08 AM
4

Literally spat my coffee out laughing reading that about the exit! Too funny !
/r/RedPillWives25/05/16 10:01 AM
6

I sip sparkling water from a vintage champagne saucer (obvs), accompanied by dainty cucumber sandwiches. But - and here's the important bit ladies - only after several months of vetting the sparkling water, and gaining its commitment to exclusivity - no other lips shall it touch. I'm not that kind of girl.
/r/RedPillWives25/05/16 09:56 AM
3

Yayyyyyy! I am so thrilled to see this! I'm one year in and 70% of the way to goal weight and bored stupid, this is the perfect way to sparkle it up a bit!
/r/RedPillWives24/05/16 06:36 PM
2

We are going through diagnosis but that takes a very long time here and honestly, he doesn't have that many social issues if he's of a mind to talk to someone. He's just pretty introverted and so am I so I get it. So I don't actually think diagnosis is likely. Regardless of a title or label, his needs are his needs. The whole thing is very stressful quite often but I have to choose calm - cause two of us losing our shit on a daily basis is really unnecessary, lol! Plus I have my very sweet tempe…
/r/RedPillWives24/05/16 06:34 PM
3

Yes he's 7 and I don't plan to medicate him. I take especial care with his diet and having a calm restful home. It's just really obvious with my son - routines and habits are ingrained and have to be followed or meltdowns occur. He may or may not have aspergers but we manage. I just accept and love him and enforce boundaries while respecting his. It works thus far. X
/r/RedPillWives24/05/16 04:42 PM
3

See that's what I mean,your whole attitude is great. One of my children has a lot of these habit / addiction traits Mr BSC has and it always worries me. But this kind of gives me hope.
/r/RedPillWives24/05/16 02:57 PM
4

Wow. That sounds incredibly hard. Kudos to you for loving him as he is.
/r/RedPillWives24/05/16 12:06 PM
3

Laughed so hard I woke the kids up. You're hilarious, BSC! I will be aware of chair situations!
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 08:28 PM
3

No spoilers,promise
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:59 PM
2

Thanks CQ :) it was a lovely little moment - during GOT funnily enough !!!
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:55 PM
1

Aww thanks for your excitement for me! I think an 18mth engagement would be great for us as I don't wish to live together before either marriage or the very tail end of engagement. He knows this of course. So we would essentially be doing 2 major life changes and I feel it needs a little longer. Although I'd happily get engaged anytime after this summer, I don't think it will happen for another year.
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:53 PM
2

Aww thanks. I hesitated to post as its a bit of a nothing post. But I have been anxious since Xmas about "where we are going, and when" and wouldn't have kept my cool without RPW sensible advice on previous posts. You probably won't recall but he also halved his wine intake after our discussion on a previous post of mine. So everything feels great.
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:51 PM
1

Hehe thanks :) I've been thrilled about it all day. My SO doesn't say things like that casually.
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 02:49 PM
3

Thanks :D was just so simple and sweet
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 01:12 PM
2

Really appreciate this. My man is crazy about my waist. Never really understood it til reading this! We've just started the gym together to tone up having both lost weight , going to be trying those exercises tonight !
/r/RedPillWives23/05/16 12:40 PM
2

1) never let him forget he's a MAN (for me this is never more at the forefront of my mind than when I feel like having a little nag or moan - I will stop and think, he's a MAN. There isnt going to be a nice little debate over how this gets done. He isn't a friend. Let him be and shush. ) 2) "least said soonest mended" (you don't need to air your every viewpoint. ) 3) I grew up very close to my family - my Nan would visibly disagree with an action of my grandad, and stop herself before saying it.…
/r/RedPillWives21/05/16 09:18 AM
9

Well she's headed straight for an awesome marriage. Good on her. Sent this article to my SO ! They couldn't possibly have made more mention of that vacuum cleaner could they?! Like its the only reason she got married!
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 11:55 AM
2

My hamster kicks in when my SO makes new female friends or mentions a girl from a while back got in touch. It just makes me insane, i try really hard not to show it but that only works about half the time. I get really worried, and jealous. Most recently this happen a few days ago and I still feel weird from it.
/r/RedPillWives20/05/16 09:24 AM
3

Classic HHH!
/r/RedPillWives14/05/16 08:21 AM
3

I've really found this to be true. I've never nitpicked at my partner because I found rpw years before we met. So when we have a disagreement he really truly listens and sorts it.
/r/RedPillWives13/05/16 07:28 PM
6

This is beautiful, practical and eminently helpful from newbies upwards. I hate to feel vulnerable but don't we all? It's always worth it in the end. It makes my man feel like a hero when I allow myself my vulnerability. Which then makes me feel protected and cherished. We weren't meant to carry the world.
/r/RedPillWives08/05/16 05:24 PM
3

I commit to doing it, then I switch off completely and go on autopilot and force myself through the motions. For a short task, or a run. Or a gym session, it doesn't matter if i enjoy it. It matters that I do it. That's it. Take joy out of the equation for half an hour - it's character building ! Not everything has to be honey and roses. X
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 11:18 PM
1

Level 17 manipulator ! That's hilarious ! I definitely used to be like that. My marriage was awful (half because I picked a very wrong man and half because the shrew was in charge), it's lovely to have knocked her into a coma but I don't doubt she can rear her head again when the first flush of a 1yr romance wears off. This was a great reminder to stay vigilant !
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 09:42 AM
1

This is really practical advice,CQ, thanks ! Something I can really apply. Nice to know someone else is in the same situation. I think it makes it harder in some ways but it also means there's double the amount (at least) to be grateful for, when your man doesn't have to do a damn thing and they go over and above, it really means something. I made it clear early on that my man was dating me. not my kids, and contrary to popular ideas on single parenting I waited a long time to introduce them. Wo…
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 09:38 AM
1

I love this, BSC. Thank you for your thought and sharing on this ...I'm definitely going to bear this in mind. I do think my man is the right captain for all my family, and I had strong suspicions about this during the 5mths we dated before I intro'd him to my kids. So far it's been proven. Hrs never lost his temper and has endless creative ideas how to help one of my kids who has some issues. He's brought a lot to the table.
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 09:35 AM
2

I've had similar conflicts in the past. I now know how to hang onto my sense of self though, as well as submitting. It exists in the stating of your boundaries, nicely but firmly, and adhering to them, I.e. no sex before exclusivity, or x amount of months, or whatever. It exists in being honest about who you are - I.e. if you're naturally submissive , just accept it and make sure you vet thoroughly, I'd say even more thoroughly than most already do, to ensure you're not submitting to a captain w…
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 09:20 AM
2

I adore this. It beats around the bush far less than any other article on this topic ever has (that I've read!). I am incredibly submissive with my man, like more than most people would think is normal. We are completely HLH and have been from the second we clapped eyes on each other, it's just how we are both wired. to embrace that it is the thing that brings me the most joy. Catering to him brings me exceptional pleasure. So reading things like this make me feel very relieved that I'm not the …
/r/RedPillWives07/05/16 08:44 AM
2

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 09:33 PM
2

I think the latter would be most helpful, since there aren't currently any issues. Obviously I'd hope there won't be any but that would be naive. I'd like some food for thought, some conversation. Some definite do's and dont's, for me.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 09:25 PM
2

I can imagine that was annoying. I feel for my SO as I try not to talk about my ex husband but I can't stop my children doing so. He doesn't seem remotely concerned or bothered.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 08:39 PM
1

Thanks :) Love the third bullet point. He doesn't have an ex wife x
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 08:35 PM
3

Wonderful thank you. I wholeheartedly agree with your last two points. I expect precisely zero childcare or babysitting from him, he knows this. He volunteers this anyway.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 08:24 PM
2

Thanks. He has none, I have a 4yr old and 7yr old. R.ship with ex husband is fair-middling-decent depending on his mood that day.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 08:21 PM
3

Lovely post. Definitely agree. I've never outright said no to sex after we had become physically intimate. I'm open about why I won't deny him. Or myself ! I have a very high drive. But when either of us is clearly too ill the other obviously won't ask or try it on. He knows that if I'm very sad and have been crying I won't want sex so he doesn't ask. This has happened twice in a year. Sex is so frequent here and so highly valued by us that it's never been an issue.
/r/RedPillWives04/05/16 06:39 PM
2

Oh thank you that's really kind of you! I do assure you I'm not all sweetness and light. I'm abominably short tempered for example! SO has only seen that side of me in regards to the kids jumping all over me and me giving them short shrift (can you say "touched out"?!) I'm always very careful to hold my tongue around him - it gets easier and easier ! I'll say one thing for children - raising them really shows you how to execute your boundaries in a firm, no nonsense, polite way! I've had plenty …
/r/RedPillWives28/04/16 08:26 AM
3

Thanks you for the encouragement ! I didn't think my comments on the other post were of particular interest and would never have made this FR off my own back :) it's been lovely reliving the start of our relationship. I have the warm fuzzies!
/r/RedPillWives27/04/16 04:30 PM
2

Be the change you wish to see in the world.
/r/RedPillWives27/04/16 04:27 PM
4

Thank you, classy is just what I was aiming for :) I saw it as good practice for "no thank you. I won't live together before marriage." ;) that particular discussion happened recently and he wasn't as surprised as he was after our second date discussion! He may just have the measure of me, lol
/r/RedPillWives27/04/16 03:09 PM
2

It worked out great for me. That's exactly how I handled it - he was my boyfriend before we had sex and I wasn't going to compromise on that. We did discuss sex of course. I made it known I had a very high sex drive and was very experimental - when we had known each other a decent while. He was too. Sex is so important but yes it can be worked on within a good relationship, in a way that character faults can't be.
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 01:59 PM
2

It certainly wasn't normal when I wasn't the dating pool in my teens. It would have been considered cheating really. I married at 22 and since my divorce hadn't been back dating very long before I met my partner. It's never been a way that makes sense to me but I'm very old fashioned !!
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 07:44 PM
3

Oooh I wouldn't have dealt with that. In the UK, dating a few people at the same time is really not a part of our culture in the way it is in America. So for him to do it on the low would have been a NEXT situation for me.
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 06:49 PM
5

I'm flattered ! I am very happy to write a post from meeting until exclusivity and then sex - that spanned just over 2 months. I could detail the girl game I used and how I handled it until he ditched his plate ? I was very conscious of RPW every step of the way as I'd had my eye on him. By a few dates in I was pretty sure he was the one for me. He's now said we will be getting married within the next few years so I guess I'm not always wrong haha ;)
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 05:49 PM
7

Oh yeah definitely zero shame...men will always want sex....women will always want commitment. No shame about either surely ? That's so sweet what your OH said.
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 05:40 PM
4

Aww thanks. Happy to if you wish - but it wasn't much more complicated than what I've written above!
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 05:39 PM
7

Oh how kind thank you! I hated that he was dating someone else. I was absolutely mad about him from the second I laid eyes on him so it was hard. He had this air of casual dominance and was getting on with everyone and is seriously tall and muscled and my hormones just went Zzzzzzing! But anyway I knew this woman and knew she wasnt...how to say this nicely? A quality woman. So it was no big deal. She was also his age and I'm a lot younger so I didn't feel remotely threatened. Knew it wouldn't la…
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 05:38 PM
14

Absolutely. Totally and 100%. On our second date my man brought up the subject of returning to his and I smiled and said, "I like you. I don't date casually, and I have to be in an exclusive relationship before I have sex." Smiled and shut up. He was visibly surprised and tried to convince me of his way (nicely) for a few mins. I just smiled. I knew he was dating another girl at that point. We were exclusive a few weeks later and I slept with him about a month after that (when it felt right). He…
/r/RedPillWives24/04/16 04:13 PM
3

Of course! For me, my greatest learning and growth happens when I put myself in his shoes - and I'm really quite imaginative lol so that's easy enough. And if I were a man working my day and loving my job and feeling pride about putting out fires and slaying dragons in the office, checking in with the lady at home needs to exacerbate those feelings. Need to feel like Team(his-last-name) is killin it on all levels today. Need to feel like my woman is taking care of business at home , everyone's h…
/r/RedPillWives23/04/16 08:29 AM
4

Well done - a remarkable change, not just the weight loss. I was also chubby but not fat, and have lost 20lbs after hearing what men really think. I met my partner when I was 10lbs down and he thought I was 'absolutely gorgeous" his words, now I'm done losing he says he finds me even more attractive which he didn't think was possible. Just goes to show ! He has asked me not to lose any more now and I'm happy.
/r/RedPillWives22/04/16 10:16 AM
6

Love this post. I find being the soft place to land very easy when it comes to creating a beautiful happy home. Much less so when it comes to me not moaning about things ! But I am learning. I would add that soft place to land begins before he even comes home. My man likes to text and phone a few times through the day from work. I'm a SAHM so I have time for this , no problem, but I ALWAYS keep it positive or at least neutral, even when I am ready to strangle my children. Any Home front catastro…
/r/RedPillWives22/04/16 10:04 AM
3

I am heartbroken for you. I will be giving on the donation page. I'm thinking of you xxx
/r/RedPillWives21/04/16 06:30 PM
2

Absolutely loved reading both of those parts, thank you BSC !
/r/RedPillWives20/04/16 10:11 AM
2

Thanks! So well. I feel so much more fulfilled and accomplished. And have a whole new array of recipes to get stuck into which is exciting :)
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 10:09 PM
2

PixieDelights, just fitting the chicken chilli recipe into my meal planner - I'm in the UK and confused by some of the ingredients - would you assist? :) What's RoTel? What's ranch dressing - I've never seen it for sale here? Maybe I can make it from scratch? I have a well stocked kitchen.
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 10:05 PM
3

Thank you! He really would be a fan of this!
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 09:57 PM
1

Sounds gorgeous thank you!
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 09:58 AM
2

I agree. My SO would be mortified if I started telling lewd jokes to his friends ! But between us is fine :)
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 10:09 PM
2

I'll be trying it when we get back from holiday :)
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 08:19 PM
2

Very good points :) do agree
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 08:18 PM
2

Thank you! I think he will love that chicken chilli!
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 04:06 PM
6

We won't be having a joint account, dogs or house together until we are either married, or engaged with a wedding date set, booked and within a few months. Which will be in about 2yrs. We're very traditional. He makes a lot more than I do and I'm happy to leave most of the financial decisions to him
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 09:40 AM
2

Resurrecting Venus by Cynthia Occelli
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 09:32 AM
8

Lovely post. Full femininity is where it's at... actions rather than looks. I usually dress in a feminine way anyway , always have, but find the more feminine I dress the more feminine I feel, the more deferential, the happier and more productive. This is especially true if wearing a 50s style dress (mine and SO's favourite style) - is this just me?
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 09:30 AM
5

I need a few more very simple to prepare meat recipes please ladies. You may or may not remember I posted a thread in the old sub about should I cook meat for my man (I'm vegan). I have, and now do it once a week with no problem. I have never seen a man enjoy food as much as he has the last 2 months ! It's very gratifying ! Would love a few more recipes . I'm using a lot of chorizo, chicken and bacon lately. No fish please. :)
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 09:25 AM
2

PMS is a real thing in my experience. It is absolutely not an excuse to dine out on it and be a cow. I keep myself introverted when I'm due on, because I know I get irritable. I would do the same if I still got regular migraines or something similar.
/r/RedPillWives17/04/16 10:14 PM
2

Oh,same here ! I give myself a buffer with my SO because I value our relationship. Everyone else...not so much :p
/r/RedPillWives17/04/16 10:11 PM
2

Absolutely. I would never again commit to a man who can't control himself during normal arguments. Who can't handle anger safely. Now I've got a good man and have observed how he handles our rows (never even raised his voice to me, yet doesn't take any shit). I've also observed how he handles idiot drunks who he perceives threaten my safety. I'm happy!! And yet - would never press buttons or rile him up just because he's a man and shouldn't hit me. Responsibility for ones own actions... my man i…
/r/RedPillWives17/04/16 06:54 PM
2

I do this too, Eliza. I will take my anger and sit on it for at least an hour and usually several, half the time I've realised I'm over reacting and tired/hungry / overwrought from the children and its not SO's fault. The rest of the time it can be brought up several hours lately if needs be and life is much more harmonious. If I brought him my every qualm as it arose, he'd have 50% more BS to deal with.
/r/RedPillWives17/04/16 06:37 PM
3

No, no, I do as you say with 99% of men. I very much feel my man's the best - best human overall lol. I barely ever even look at other men. When I occasionally have...literally once or twice in nearly a year... that's how I stop the tiny seed of a thought in its tracks.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 05:07 PM
7

I look for ways to give. Not give to earn credit or so much that I utterly burn out, but give to ease his life. He does exactly the same with me.it seems to come very naturally to him - whereas I had to focus on it at the beginning and now it's habit/second nature.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 12:39 PM
3

Yak. No. I make more effort when I'm seeing my SO! Including at home. Simple things like thigh socks with a nightshirt make him wild. It's warm and practical... Long skirts instead of jeans. His favourite kind of vintage dresses more often. 5mins extra on hair and makeup before he comes home. it's not hard...it's about priorities. X
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 12:36 PM
6

And this why men are ultimately the real romantics. Women love the gestures but deep down it's men who commit more fully. Since I had my eyes opened to my hypergamous nature as a woman, it's saved me a deal of heartache. If I've ever glanced sideways at another man I've immediately countered it with he thought, "he looks in some way superior or more masculine or authorititive. That's all. Look away.". Truth is I have a very high need for dominance and there aren't (in my experience) too many men…
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 12:32 PM
3

My love language is - all of them! Seriously. I've read the book and am almost equal on all. Service just about tops out though. My man feels my love best through touch - frequent kisses, hugs, sex, massages.
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 05:25 PM
4

Looks really good - great content, looking forward to having a good browse around our new home tonight. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 09:51 AM
1

None of that is true for him . Example. Last week I made dinner and normally would serve wine with it. I deliberately didn't. And there was none in the house. There's a shop next to my house. He didn't make an issue of it and didn't go to the shop, we just didn't have wine.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/16 08:51 AM
2

Thanks. I'll reflect for a few days and put up a post x
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/16 01:09 PM
1

Amazing resource. Read it entirely over the last two evenings. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/16 09:34 AM
2

What's the best way to "handle" my SO becoming (gradually) step dad to my children? They are young, boisterous and hard work (we all agree!) Any practical advice?
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/16 09:34 AM
1

Completely agree , great post. I've been focussing on this heavily the last few weeks and we're happier than ever.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/16 08:46 AM
7

Weak or uninvested are both bad signs - next ! Trust your gut. When it's right you'll feel it.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 11:46 AM
1

Thanks I will suggest it to OH!
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 04:43 PM
1

Thanks ! Yeah it's the little things. And when you already have a RP relationship it can be hard to know where else to "improve " , so I'm stoked to find new ways x
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/16 04:40 PM
2

We aren't formally engaged yet but thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 09:43 PM
3

I don't constantly stfu. I just don't need to have my way all the time. I choose peace and harmony over everything else and if that means I don't get my preferred bed sheets then that's a small price. I have an amazing captain , a better man than I ever thought existed and probably better than I deserve, so I'll cherish that and look after it in all the ways I can. I keep quiet about things that don't matter so much and Calmly state my preference when asked or when I feel strongly about it. The …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 09:27 PM
1

Very common in this sub. This wasn't a big deal or huge effort and it should be normal... I mostly posted this to illustrate that we can always improve x
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 09:24 PM
3

Hi, in answer to your question I actually didn't say I was OK with not letting the dog into the bedroom. I said I respected his opinion. That's the difference. it's his decision, I'm just giving him extra information about how I feel on it without being demanding. I'd love to have the dogs on the bed. Probably we will have another conversation about this when we get the dog and it might go the same way or he might conceded the dog can come in the room but not the bed ...But ultimately I will def…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:26 PM
1

I can't comment on your particular situation since I don't know you but some people naturally come across as flirty.my mum is one. She's always amazed when men take it as a green light. I'm naturally reserved and quite shy unless with SO or friends so that's never been a problem for me. All I'd say is, protect your reputation, it precedes you. And protect your relationship. There's no substitute for 100% trust in someone. I'd never put myself in a situation where my SO might hear I'd been flirti…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:17 PM
1

I love the way you handle that! I too find it really interesting to bite back my words and just see what he does on his own. It's usually things I wouldn't have thought of. Ive found that a good man with free time will often ask what needs doing and then I can say, if he wouldn't mind, x and y please? In genuine emergencies I have rung him first e.g. when washer flooded and he absolutely loved coming to the rescue ! And fixing it. He was very proud lol x
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 05:11 PM
1

You're welcome. Only by applying logic can I shut up the insecurity hamster. It can freewheel easily and it feels absolutely awful.I don't want to do that to myself or my lovely man. If you search my profile history you'll find a post by me called "feeling unreasonably jealous" - it contains really solid advice and practical help from the ladies here.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 04:45 PM
2

Would you want your boyfriend or husband to be spending a lot of one on one time with a girl? Personally I wouldn't , so I wouldn't want to be that girl. I also protect myself and my relationship by making sure my reputation or the integrity of my relationship is never able to be called into question.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 04:39 PM
2

Sorry to hear that,and you're welcome. Ive never truly trusted anyone until OH. Like love, trust and faith are daily choices, not just a feeling. It is something that has to be kept up to date by reminding myself what a good man he is, how he's never given me cause for concern. How he checks in with me and would never want me to doubt him .
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 04:37 PM
2

I don't come off as possessive,I'm hyper vigilant of her, not SO. E.g. we all share a hobby. I make about 75% of the meets. She makes about half. SO makes them all. If she's going to be there I will go out of my way to ensure I make it, and look my best. I befriended her and took a few beauty tips off her. It's never been about my SO. She flirts with him like she flirts with everyone. it got to a point where he was liking every one of her photos and I got a bit upset. I talked it over here and d…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 02:45 PM
0

Yeah definitely worth listening to gut, checking in with reason and logic, then acting ! Some women just give you warning bells. There's a woman on the fringe of our social circle and I am hyper vigilant about her. she's an absolute predator. I've posted about her. Dh admires her physical attractiveness but is well aware of her flirtatious character and how that would not wash in a relationship. Her husband doesn't seem to Mind at all but he's not very masculine. My OH is alpha and wouldn't put …
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 02:27 PM
10

I agree. A large part of it is, for me, deciding to prioritise his happiness and the peace and intimacy of the relationship. And when you understand how men work...what they want in a home life ...it becomes very easy. The work is in picking and vetting potential captains, in my experience. Now I've got a good man it's all so easy...as easy as I let it be! It's not him that complicates things. If I'm so keen on control I can use that desire to simply control myself ;)
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 02:11 PM
3

Thanks ! He's said I'm the one before but seems to be telling all his family over the last few months whenever he visits with someone. It's great !
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 02:09 PM
2

Just my two cents - my SO has a couple of female friends who are a bit hopeless at life in general. SO helps motivate them by discouraging their poor choice in men/encouraging their weight loss etc (nicely). Ive met these women and it's not a problem. I think they have had crushes on him but they are very happy to see us together and are very genuinely warm towards me. SO frequently shows me their text conversations (Im not sure why, I guess to reassure me?) I'm usually very wary and quite posse…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 01:20 PM
1

that's exactly what I do/my opinon on it x
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 01:16 PM
2

That's called beta-orbiting. Best avoided. You'll end up using it to cushion your ego, unwittingly or consciously x
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 01:15 PM
1

HAHAHAHAHAAHA - no. Not in a million years!
/r/RedPillWomen29/02/16 03:58 PM
2

Thanks for the article! Good - hearing my man more and more and STFU more and more. It's getting to be second nature now and it feels GOOD. it's also quietened the worry hamster which is great. getting good feedback from him (he's not aware of what Im doing but it's definitely having effects). House work, diet, exercise and style on point this week because Ive been going to bed earlier so have more energy. Sex amazing as always. Children seem happier. Bad - why is it not spring yet?! Lol. toooo …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/16 04:09 PM
2

I share everything important, everything that would be lying by omission, anything that would cause problems if I didnt share it. And when invited to I share my worries, hopes, dreams...and we have conversations like that once a week or so. I share details of my day, but don't blabber on. I mostly ask about him, his day, listen to him. He returns that and asks about me, but my focus is on being his soft place and listening to him. What I dont share: I dont moan about aches/pains unless Im actual…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/16 03:58 PM
1

I understand where you're coming from, but I am seeing a lot of 'I want' in this post - what about what he wants? How about letting him have some mental space to figure it out since he's had health scares and financial problems - no man worth his salt is going to be keen to marry you with all that going on for him personally right now. He needs some recovery time and I think you need to back off a bit, and I say that with all the best intentions, from one woman who's keen to marry her boyfriend …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/16 03:54 PM
1

that's really beautiful, and moving. how special !! thanks for sharing x
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 11:50 PM
3

AMEN! Important topic. I've always had a high libido so this isnt something my captain and I struggle with at all. And he talks so openly in the afterglow, I love that.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 11:49 PM
1

It doesn't seem to be allowing me to edit to include this on the post, but here is my take on this: This article was posted by Laura Doyle, author of Surrendered Single and Surrendered Wife, on her facebook page today. Her heading was: "The more you push your perspective the harder the other person feels the need to push theirs. The only way out is to stop arguing and start listening. Sometimes, it's hard to know when to stop. We push, and push, and push--and before long, we're fighting with our…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 07:57 PM
6

Exactly. Honey is feminine way of being, feminine mindset and actions. Vinegar is demanding and checklisting. Two paths to the same outcome of a masculine man. I dont think Ive ever said to my man what I want him to be, from meeting him to now. But I knew, and he was and is the right man. It doesnt need discussing.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 01:54 PM
1

I had a lovely surprise this morning as my man left me a love note listing some of the reasons he loves me! I teared up :) here are a few of the RPW and SFW ones I will share! "You talk to me....not at me...we discuss..we debate and we converse..long and hard the best way" "You don't take any shit from the world but still remain warm generous and open...your heart is the size of a truck" "You bake...a lot...especially for me. never had that it's amazing...and my work colleagues get the benefits …
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 01:44 PM
2

That's lovely. inspiration to keep the mean thoughts in check - I have to do that a lot too, cattiness isnt attractive. the less Ive done it, the less Ive felt I wanted to do it, over the years x
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 01:40 PM
9

Yeah it definitely doesnt come from a submissive feminine place, it's reading as strident and demanding. I agree with what she wants in a man, cause I want and have the same, but you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/16 01:28 PM
2

I use fb for personal and professional, reddit for personal, a professional blog. I dont share personal/revealing stuff on FB, just chat. I do check it too often.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 10:28 PM
5

You can send suggestive pics without them actually being nude. Or better yet, sexy texts x
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 10:27 PM
1

That's such a cool way to handle it. duly noted!! The lady I feel strange about is all stroppy because theres a new girl joined the group today! It's quite funny.
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 08:26 PM
1

simple is the best, heartfelt n simple never gets old x
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 08:26 PM
2

I ended up bringing this up last night - it came about naturally and I would rather say it calmly than explode while upset and it felt like it might get to that point so it was damage control - anyway we were talking about organising the next meet and it turns out she isnt coming. I simply said, Ive noticed you are liking a lot of her pictures. and then I STFU because that it literally the only thing I could have said without sounding crazy jealous or controlling. He said yeah, I will stop if it…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 02:47 PM
1

Omg how did you keep your cool??? my hamster would have broken out of the cage the second time that happened never mind 3 times a week! but my man wouldnt let that happen as he has quite strong boundaries about us spending time alone with the opposite sex, he doesnt want either of us to feel worried. I think it's great you guys are confident enough to do that. but literally how did you cope?!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 02:41 PM
2

Absolutely, couldnt agree more - this is what I meant when I started the post, men really value so much more than 10/10 bodies and looks (self improvement is fab but I cant get rid of my c section scar for example). Men want pretty women who are kind and loyal and don't make their lives stressful! x
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 02:39 PM
1

hahaha tht's brilliant. I have been the crazy ex before. Never again, the crazy is contained!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 02:38 PM
1

Yeaaaaaah that's what i'm talkin about!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/16 02:37 PM
2

Actually if we're getting down to the nitty gritty, I don't feel envious - I am happy to live without these skills or her brand of attractiveness - I have my own and I'm happy with that. It is jealousy of the perceived value she has in my SO's eyes and me wondering if he's thinking about her or comparing me to her. Im aware that sounds over to top now Ive written it down, but it really doesnt feel lilke envy, I envy my mate's gorgeous new dog...I cant have a dog in this house! But jealousy feels…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 10:28 PM
2

Yeah she is a little slooty, IMO, very few girlfriends and always with men. I don't think I can genuinely be friends and connect with her but I have definitely been more friendly and open since I started this thread. Im definitely grateful that she's OTT and overt as I know my man doesnt stand for that in a r.ship and it'll have marked her down in his eyes. And he certainly doesnt flirt with her - this is all her flirting with him, as far as I am aware. He's as friendly and open with her and he …
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 10:19 PM
2

Sounds like good goals. I am working on "you are so chill and laid back!" and "thanks for never ever getting tipsy and tearful" x
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 08:51 PM
1

You're right, I can't be everything to him. It wouldn't be healthy. We do have a hobby that's just ours and it's actually how we met. He's forever saying how much it means that we share it and how exes didnt get it. Thanks for putting a positive spin on this :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:35 PM
3

definitely. The instant expressions on their faces when they taste a meal or open a pressie or find out you did that errand, that are so natural and first response, that's the best x
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:30 PM
2

whatever it is, it's positive!! I love future talk!!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:28 PM
1

YAY!! it's all men really want, isnt it? they are magnificent, uncomplicated creatures.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:28 PM
1

Love that about the soft place to land, I heard it here not many weeks ago (despite being on this sub for 2years) and I've kept it in my head as a mantra. Aint nothing hotter than a masculine/fixer side to a man!!!! Agreed!! Early on in my relationship the boiler broke and I happened to mention I was calling a plumber and my man was highly offended, said I absolutely musnt, and came round with his toolkit and sorted it. I have strict orders to call him first if anything in the house breaks! (we …
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:27 PM
1

Ahhh yeah! Nice work :) I too am a reformed slob. Ive been on top of housekeeping consistently for over 3 years now and Im a bit horrified at my former self!!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:24 PM
2

I think the RPW compliments thing is open to interpretation - I simply meant the sort of thing youve said above, compliments on things other than appearance - it's nice to go deeper than that. I love getting feedback on cooking and housework, feels good to be appreciated doesnt it :) and doubly good when you know he is enjoying it x
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:23 PM
4

Ha, I love that! I think it's especially nice when we pack lunches etc for our men because not only are you feeding him but you're showing his colleagues that he's got a woman who adores him at home. I bake for my man's major work meetings a few times a month (at his request) and it never fails to make him puff up like a peacock with compliments from his workmates. It's like a two birds/one stone effect :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:21 PM
3

That's so lovely. I loved reading your tenderness there and how you obviously are looking for the positive in the way he communicates with you even though it's not your love language. and - yes my man is the same re: traditional feminine dress! I wear a lot of vintage and 50s repro style dresses and he adores them, it also really helps me get more deeply into my feminine/submissive mindset (I reallise not every RPW identifies with submissive, but I do)
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:18 PM
2

By being out a lot!!! Also by trying to run errands and do housework as much as I could and not being a complete PITA. it wasnt easy for them either but for 9mths it was worth it x
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 07:17 PM
1

That's good practical advice, thank you. I dont ever majorly hamster of this sort of stuff, it's been years since I have, my marriage was terrible and I was one constant big hamster, but that was over years ago now and Ive sorted my head out since then, and discovering RPW and working on a ton of insecurities. so when one raises its head I know the worst thing to do is talk it out with my man! cause it's mine all mine to deal with :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 05:09 PM
1

long-game, I like it. Ive lived with parents as an adult once and it was worth it ultimately x
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 05:07 PM
1

Aww I love those 'supportive' compliments. Sounds like your situation is stressful...well done for keeping your head!
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 04:49 PM
3

That's beautiful. I definitely know what you mean as I'm on the flip side of the coin - I have kids and my man doesn't, and we don't want any together. So when he does things with my boys it's llike heartmelt. Well done for putting your mom game into action ;) I find patience with my boys so hard as everything is indeed a battle with my eldest.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 04:48 PM
1

Thanks! That's so true. I do genuinely believe he is as high-value as I've always thought he is - and he thinks so, too. He is always saying he's committed to me because I never pushed him but maintained my own standards and that he can open up with me in a way he never has with any other woman - and he's had plenty of girlfriends. So that feels right, which is why I want to bring these insecurities here to be nipped in the bud , not take them to him. Just been reflecting on why this is suddenly…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/16 04:17 PM
1

Oh I LOVE serious conversations with SO about the future! Literally nothing makes me happier. Congrats! I totally get how excited you are about this! And well done for no pressure. I know the temptation is hard to resist - Im doing the same!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 10:44 PM
4

Maui sounds amazing! How fab. I find these reflection threads so helpful. My good: Ive dealt with an issue here instead of taking it to SO (my own jealousy issue, not his problem). I baked a cake for his major work meeting and put his company logo in icing on the top and it apparently was delicious but better than that, it's going in his companys new brochure as his MD was really chuffed with the cake logo. OH said he was very proud and said he loves how I support his career and that some of the…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 05:15 PM
3

You're right, I've no intention of judging her - clearly her and her man are happy with that sort of talk with other men, I just know mine wouldnt. and I couldnt do that anyway it'd be disrespectful to our relationship. And thanks. One thing Ive really taken from this sub over my 2years lurking and less than 1 month posting is own your shit. My exhusband was forever liking photos of girls on fb, usually inappropriate ones, and it later transpired he was cheating on me with a few of them, and con…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 04:45 PM
4

I think I might love you a little bit because that has really been balm to my sore ego! THANK YOU! I feel badly to think that way of her - she seems a really nice person, overall, but tremedously touchy and inappropriate comments - thankfully not to captain (yet). I know my man really values strong boundaries when I interact with other men - he's an alpha male so thats pretty standard - and he's always saying the absolute honesty between us is invaluable. I agree and it's something we are really…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 03:34 PM
5

Do you know, I was having similar thoughts about that this morning - I cant stand seeing women be jealous of each other and I hate that's what Im doing here! So I thought, the exact opposite woould be to befriend her. And then captain commented he thought we should be friends. So Ive friended her on FB now and will seek out her advice about the hobby. I definitely am relaxed and trust my captain and dont cling to him where women are concerned (usually!!) because he does have female friends and t…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 03:25 PM
6

Thank you, that really resonates with me, and is very helpful. She's definitely better at the hobby but I'll not be emulating the way she interacts with men - to my mind she is OTT flirty, leaving comments about men's bodies and things like that which my captain would not tolerate from me. Name of the game is self improvement all the way...definitely. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 03:11 PM
2

Thank you. She's a bit prettier than me yes, but she's mainstream (which isnt a problem!) and I'm captain's 'niche' if you get me - I have a specific look and way of doing my hair and clothes that he has always been attracted to, and I looked this way long before I met him, so it isnt really that. It is the hobby more than anything because it's so male dominated and captain finds it extremely sexy when women are good at it - and at the moment I mostly look silly doing it as it's so new! I do fee…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 02:54 PM
1

I agree. It's uncomfortable but I agree with what you're saying. How do I fix it?
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 01:28 PM
2

Thanks CQ you hit the nail on the head, this is exactly the kind of practical advice I wanted from this. He has actually just suggested I friend her on FB and ask her advice as he can see I enjoy the hobby. So I shall do that today. He's also just said it's nice to have friends who are as in love and supportive of each other as we are, but that he thinks we're still the happier couple. I feel really reassured by that. I hate feeling threatened by another woman and I totally own that this is my i…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 01:21 PM
6

I'm not saying his actions are a problem - I'm saying my reactions and feelings to it are. I've posted to get help with my feelings on it, so I can control them and not sabotage this. He's not at fault here.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 01:08 PM
1

Oh definitely. I enjoy it! I was just making the point that I havent forced my way into his hobby :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 12:49 PM
2

Other people's too, in the group, the rest of the 300-odd people are men. She and I are the only females in the group. It's a predominantly male dominated hobby but our partners both actively want us involved. I encourage him to go do this hobby alone for some boy time but he usually prefers to take me too.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 11:51 AM
3

Fabulous, I love it! I love RPW compliments! My man said yesterday, You and my mother are the two most deeply feminine women I know - and I adore you for that. His mother's a great woman so i felt really honoured!
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/16 11:24 AM
1

Good - ON IT with my diet and exercise, lost 2lbs, 7lbs ish to go (24lb total loss so far), loving my new (free!!) double range cooker and how much time it's saving me, booked to take my man away for his birthday and he's very excited and says he's never been treated so well, more patience with the kids. Bad - spots, again, I don't even know why. Finances still very hairy but am definitely doing my very very best. Ugly - 2 x small rows this week but my man held frame and it all blew over within …
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 05:42 PM
2

congratulations!!! I am proud of you!
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 05:39 PM
1

I don't encourage my man to do valentine's day - I dont think it means anything. He's very masculine and feels very happy to be relieved of this conformist sort of behaviour, as he calls it. We happen to be going on a date to a show but that is not v-day related! x
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 05:34 PM
2

Joining with the swearing -my man hates it. Ive cut down loads since I met him but with friends Im still like a trucker...and occasionally swear in front of my boys by accident. So I'm giving that up!! Great thread!!
/r/RedPillWomen10/02/16 05:31 PM
2

Yeah I understand this - I am quite bad at making new friends. I am super friendly and warm but I am pretty quirky in most of my views/dress sense/lifestyle (my Captain adores this and is similar so that' s not an issue). would love more girlfriends
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 07:59 PM
1

True, I did this once and was mortified when I woke, SO was thrilled because he knows Im usually a nervous passenger (with others, never him) and he took it as a huge compliment.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 01:59 PM
1

Yeah I get this. I have been Mrs Bitchy since sunday but I have kept it in - we had a minor row and it is still niggling - it's resolved and he's right but I am still feeling a bit bad inside. He hasnt seen any of it and it will go - previous relationshps I've let it all fly! This is definitely the better way.Really glad you got your relief and calm...your man has frame!
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 01:54 PM
2

Agree with the ethos here and I know I'm going to struggle when it comes to moving in together...so thanks for the heads up ;) I definitely have found in this current relationship that because I don't bitch and nag, when I have an actual problem with something (maybe one thing every few months) he listens and it gets solved instantly.
/r/RedPillWomen09/02/16 01:51 PM
1

i do get attached early n easily so i have to be really careful :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/16 07:17 PM
1

Seriously you should see the monstrosity I've had to make do with...it was like something you'd see in a squat... I feel like Ive won the lottery cause I cook and bake almost every day :D x
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/16 02:45 PM
1

That's gorgeous. The one I've got is basically the navy version of that, landlord has just happened to have a spare new one in his stately home up the road...he's hilariously posh. I am so glad this one exploded last night!!!
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/16 01:58 PM
1

I need a mixer too, I am pretty old fashioned with baking and appliances but that seems really useful. New oven just got delivered...it is the creme de la creme...I love my landlord!! A huge new double range...I am absolutely so excited to bake in it!!!
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/16 01:51 PM
1

Guess what happened to the oven today after my moaning about it for 2mths?!! It exploded!! It was scary!! So got a shiny new one being delivered tomorrow, hurrah for no more burnt cakes!!
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/16 09:18 PM
1

I actually don't talk much between dates until we are obviously heading towards exclusive - for the simple reason that, why would I invest ? Keep the mystery, keep the attraction... it's worked well for me so far :) I get that others will do things differently...this is just my opinion x
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/16 08:32 PM
2

definitely agree. for me sex is so incredibly close and amazing and awesome, I am not gonna share that with just anyone, I know myself well enough to know how much that hurts if it isnt reciprocated. Zero fucks given about being cool or uncool lol x
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 08:17 PM
3

Agreed. Unless it's to cancel a date because of some unforeseen circumstance.
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 03:41 PM
6

this is exactly how I treat dating, also, if he isnt asking you out on a date, it's just conversation, not necessarily leading anywhere. I dont have any truck with this texting for a week bollocks. He either asks me on a date or he doesnt get responses, it is a very early filter as they tend to drop like flies..which is great as you keep your N count down... after employing this method for a year I met my amazing captain who cut through the crap, asked me on a date and appreciated my boundaries …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 03:39 PM
1

Yes the men you've really made an impression on never fail to remember that feeling do they!! I dated an older man last year before I got together with my partner and we broke up because he was a little mean spirited whereas I value compassion, but he still talks to mutual friends about the 'classy' girl he dated for a bit! Considering my legacy of slightly nuts exes, that is refreshing...and goes to show what happens when you start choosing decent men!
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 09:57 AM
1

Really glad to hear this, it is so rare to hear of in standard modern culture. all my friends cheered me for 'playing hard to get' - even my mum approved which is a rarity!! - but no one else actually really does it in my circle and not for those reasons so it's nice to hear your experience! I think sometimes men need to be given our boundaries firmly...it's their nature to want sex early...just like it's our nature to shit-test and so on, I'm actually happier now that I don't shit test because …
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/16 09:51 AM
1

that's me too, if I don't hold my tongue...I am quick and cutting. It hurts me to hear myself talk let alone for him to hear it. It's been a decade long process, trying not to be snappy!!
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 11:55 PM
2

I call him Captain, Sir, Bossman, he calls me babygirl, princess, pumpkin and babycakes.... as well as the usual babe and sweetie from and to both of us. It's cringeworthy and adorable in equal measure but it's evolved naturally ;)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 11:53 PM
7

I agree, I made it clear to my now-OH that the first two months of dating would be exactly that (in a nice way). Once he realised he had to step up and not date other girls, and put effort in, to date me and eventually sleep with me, he did happily, but like most men would have happily had his cake and eaten it had I allowed myself to be treated that way. Had I let myself be treated as a plate we might not be here today because he said to me only last week, he realised he was in love with me whe…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 11:49 PM
3

Personally I dance around to very loud music when I'm baking or ironing or hoovering, accidentally booty bumping is definitely a thing here! haha. Is there an RPW way to booty bump ? ;)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:32 PM
1

Ahh I'm glad. I was so mad at myself!!! I really hate the oven that came with this house, it has ruined a few trays of baking and I've been here less than 2months, I plan on replacing it. I guess it's a good reminder to a) be more attentive to booty bashing (haha) and b) be a bit kinder to ourselves. and in my case, make the cakes a few hours before they're due, not 30mins! (major stress)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:23 PM
1

I hear you regarding 'not wanting to be seen as imperfect to OH'. I really resonate with that, I keep expecting OH to leave me when he sees 'the real me'. It's taken this weekend of deep talks to realise he has already seen the real me and he doesnt see myself the way I see me, and a burned cake doesnt mean I'm a bad baker! (this happened here too!! I booty bumped the knob to 200degrees instead of 120 and it burned two cakes for his work meetings!! They were not salvagable but I baked another an…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:16 PM
1

Good - epic conversation with OH regarding 'where we are going' that still has me ecstatic 3 days later..already posted about this. I have also gotten my son into the school of my choice using grace instead of force. I've faced up to some scary financial issues and put in place plans to deal with them - really hard and feel proud of myself for doing it. My relationship with my mum is historically a bit tricky and definitely anxious-avoidant and I feel we are a lot closer lately because I've chos…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:14 PM
5

I feel that being kinder to ourselves when we fall short of our goals gives us empathy and compassion when our family does. It's inevitable, we are human. I set myself large goals and some days, with two kids, it's just enough that we all ate and survived ;)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:10 PM
2

thank you! I am still on a high, feeling like I can really plan - I hate not knowing where I am going in life.
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:03 PM
1

Don't we all? I am far from perfect. My patience is next to zero with most people, the kids included, I manage with OH because to be honest he rarely puts a foot wrong but also I employ STFU&smile. But when I think back to how far Ive come in the last year, and then the last 2 years, it's really massive. At the end of the day it's about progress not perfection :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/16 03:02 PM
3

oh? Let us know if we can help? I have taken so much from this sub...been lurking for 2 years now and also done a ton of 'inner work'. I was a bit of a mess before!!
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 10:50 PM
1

hahaha!
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 08:01 PM
3

Thanks, grace is definitely where I was at. I got what I needed (confirmation of our direction) while at the same time apparently raising his opinion of me AND learning more about myself, and about the fact it's ok to ask for clarification. Whereas had I asked a month ago with all the worried hamstering I was doing, I'd have asked in an edgy and maybe even sligjtly accustory tone and would have put him off and he definitely wouldnt have been able to be vulnerable and share his dream of our futur…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 08:01 PM
1

I hear you. I definitely in my teens and early twenties expected partners to 'make' me happy. One bad marriage later I was more prone to give give giving to a (as it happens) very poorly chosen partner...spent years trying to turn him into my captain before realising he was the definition of deadbeat. It's actually very easy to be this way with a good man.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 07:58 PM
2

Thanks :) yeah it did look really good and he was surprised and pleased. He was definitely expecting me to have trouble prepping it but all the tips I received on the post I made here helped so much. And at the end of the day it's more than worth any squeamishness because of the joy it brought him, and therefore me.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 07:56 PM
1

My family and friends actually don't really understand our dynamic but they also don't see most of it, as I pre empt his needs before he asks me to get stuff when we are around family, for example, so they don't have to see that he asks and I get...he is sensitive to the fact that the age gap between us (19yrs) is going to look like he's taking advantage of me if it's combined with me 'doing his bidding' in a very public way.
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 07:55 PM
10

Thanks! We have been teetering on the brink of 'more' for a while now...it's really nice for me to feel so trusting and relaxed in his leadership now I know where we are going.... and the confidence I got from this sub knowing it is ok to ask....is great! to be able to calmly ask him where exactly we are going - you know he was throwing around things like "when we get married" but we hadn't had a conversation about that and it was making my hamster spin and really actually stressing me out quite…
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 12:55 PM
1

Brilliant! Thank you! There is so much I don't know about cooking meat. Quite excited to get stuck in now, he's going to be thrilled.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 09:53 PM
1

Thanks! I'll definitely be giving that a try - that sounds so simple and I know he'd be thrilled. I'm going to try it for our valentine's date I think :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 08:19 PM
1

Yep you completely nailed it there, it's reciprocating. Appreciate your empathy and practical suggestions, thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 08:15 PM
1

Yes it's been discussed as a when not if thing , which he's brought up numerous times (see post history). The question mark is over the time frame, not if we will marry, according to him. Thanks for your feedback :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 04:23 PM
1

Thank you for your extremely elegant, feminine response which has greatly added to this conversation. He actually feels differently to you, and weirdly enough I actually value his opinion.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 04:16 PM
1

I meant I don't want to be seen to be manipulative by saying, "I'll cook meat when we're married" but not before. But again increased commit to me from him, will mean increased commitment to him from me in terms of getting over things I find difficult e,g. cooking meat. Hope that clarifies. Thanks for the practical suggestion :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 01:21 PM
2

That is fantastic practical advice, and I will be doing that.. Thank you!!! I already use disposible gloves in the kitchen because I give my children fish oil capsules..and I have a near-phobia of fish.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 01:14 PM
1

Thank you for the feedback...that's really valuable. He has definitely been touched the times I've done him sausages for breakfast, he never expected that and understands the sacrifice it involves for me. I agree it's that fine line between giving it the full wifey treatment (which I've been prone to do in past relationships and am cautious not to do again) and showing him realistically how things would be. That in mind, perhaps a meat dish per month would be ample right now, 8mths in? Should I …
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 01:12 PM
2

The audience is Red Pill Women subreddit, which advocates submissive femininity with your partner - take a look at our wiki and sidebar. Thanks for the smells hint! my gag reflex is also very overactive.
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 01:04 PM
1

Ah, yes sorry I should have said. I have cooked meat before, for ex partners. I've cooked sausages for my current partner with little to no issue. I'm really talking about cooking as in a dish...not simply warming up a pre cooked product like a sausage. Thanks for helping me thinking deeper about it - I have zero problem cooking things like sausages and bacon, taking it out of the packet and cooking it...it seems to be things like: I really don't think I could cut a chicken or piece of beef and …
/r/RedPillWomen16/01/16 12:59 PM
1

I adore that book!
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 09:45 PM
1

Absolutely, I love love love reading RP theory. Thanks for all your work on this post, it's very valuable. I love being able to see how and why things work in our relationship, so it can be capitalised on/repeated. As a woman with a long history of choosing low dominance men then wondering why I was unfulfilled, this is just so reassuring. It does come down to doing the work though, as with everything...it comes down to knowing yourself, knowing what you need, and filtering out those who arent g…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:54 AM
2

Excellent points - really agree. When my marriage failed 3 years ago I went into introspective mode like whoaaaah for 2 years (as well as grieving). Then, as well as lurking here for 2years, I've read a ton of books e.g. surrended wife/single and decided what I need - I actively need a man who is very H, and wanted the HLH model. I got it 8mths ago and it works a dream so far - I've been able to be fully my true self and my partner feels incredibly respected, it really works for us. My marriage …
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:45 AM
1

Agree - I am L but no one who knows me in real life, including my partner, would ever say I wasnt assertive, confident and able to express my opinions or have a reasonable debate. It's a tricky one to get your head around though, on paper, I agree.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:42 AM
2

Thank you! this was really helpful
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:40 AM
3

absolutely, I found value in this because this is my first HLH relationship - and reflecting on why my marriage failed while reading this was very very helpful - he was very L whereas I have a H need. Important point about not trying to 'fit' into the boxes.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:38 AM
2

Excellent post. I wear seamed stockings with a 14-point suspender belt every date night and some days, SO adores it and it very much reminds me of my femininity - I am very influenced by clothes, if I'm wearing a vintage dress and the above, I'll be much more feminine and submissive and so much happier - whereas when it's a jeans and t shirt day with the kids I feel very much more 'in control' - I mean sometimes you have to be - but I know what makes me and my man happier.
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/16 11:34 AM
4

Very enlightening thank you ! Definitely recognise us as HLH , absolutely.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/16 11:59 PM
1

Appreciate you pointing that out as I think I'd forgotten that, re: the honeymoon phase. To me what's important is not if you fight but how you resolve them, and he's shown me he is assertive yet empathetic in rows. Which is what I try to be but hes not got a hot temper so that helps!
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/16 09:22 AM
1

Thanks, I appreciate that, I know things can be miscontrued online. Believe me I have carefully screened this man for red flags in the first few months before sleeping together and exclusivity, and continued to do so before I allowed him to meet my children at 5 mths. I accept we're still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, I don't feel I've got too much of a rose tint going on...I've had him vetted by friends and family and tried to be objective. I know he's not perfect (but honestly if…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/16 09:20 AM
1

I also think it's too soon to be engaged right now which is why I state my ideal would be 18-24mths and then same again for the engagement. I'm not sure why you think the honeymoon stage would end during the engagement? I am definitely thinking with my head, hence the post. The purpose of this post was to ensure I'm not misreading signs and that I'm not wasting my youth (what's left of it!) on something that is wonderful but essentially going nowhere. I've yet to hear from anyone else on this su…
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/16 12:06 AM
1

Aww glad to hear that :) at this point with two kids to consider I'd feel a year was too soon for me too, but I still don't think I'd say no because I feel strongly we're right for each other. And I do like a little suspense! just not for toooo long ;) trusting their judgement is key...thanks for reminding me. Just reminded myself that I have scrutinised his decisions he's made for himself, in his life, before I committed to him or before we slept together - in my head of course, didnt do them o…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 09:28 PM
2

Thank you I appreciate that! Would it be easier for you if I stopped commenting for a few days?
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 06:02 PM
2

The good: hearing him say how much he loves me, is proud of me and how he feels I really contribute to this relationship and how much he feels respected and loved. He isnt overly wordy and this sort of thing makes me glow with happiness. The bad: last friday night I got stressed about my ex husband and that contributed to an argument between us - the argument was brewing and had been all week, but I let it bubble over. It was fixed very efficiently by him saying, you wont get away with this beha…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 05:23 PM
2

No weird obscure references, no - we were at a party and a song came on and he simply said "we should play that at our wedding reception" I tried to stay cool but inside I was like YESSSSSSS! And the other comments have all been in that vein. Thanks for the reassurance!! My messages keep being removed by the bot apparently. I couldnt lot into my old account so have had to create a new one, guess I'll have to give it a few days.
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 05:12 PM
2

Agree that "subtly " harping on about it is just as bad. I haven't done that. I don't think 3mths into a relationship is ok to bring that up , we hadn't even slept together by then. I've got 2 children and I move slowly because my divorce broke their hearts. So basically I should wait until he mentions something directly related to wedding/buying a farm together and then say "and what's your ideal timeframe for that?" and then listen and STFU? Because that I can handle. Bringing the convo up mys…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 04:49 PM
3

Thanks :) I am definitely a fan of STFU. I cringe when I hear my girlfriends berate their boyfriends of a year or two. My sister did it over xmas, went on that she wanted a huge engagement ring this xmas and had a pinterest board on it - her boyfriend grimaced and I nearly died. I made a point of saying to my partner when we went home, that it was not cool and I was surprised she did that. He agreed. I havent already said how I feel - when he's made these comments I've nodded nonchalantly and sm…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 02:52 PM
3

How do I state that without sounding pushy? i want him to lead this and for it to be all on him - and I am more than happy to wait another year before we even have the conversation, as long as it comes from him. If I have to pressure him, I dont want to. He knows how I feel about a lot of things because of conversations he's seen/heard me having with friends and he's frequently chimed in things like - "wow theyve been together 5 years and not engaged?? whats he doing?? either **** or get off the…
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 02:42 PM
3

Your assumptions are correct , thanks for the feedback. My personal preference would be to get engaged after 18-24mths and have an engagement of a year or 18mths. X
/r/RedPillWomen13/01/16 02:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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