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Wild_Artio Archive

View 8 posts and 308 comments by Wild_Artio on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Lmao yeah I got some upset men sending me hate dms. I naively thought I could keep my dms open. I gave it ONE DAY. Hahahaha and they’re only proving the point that they’re abusive calling me enough vulgar stuff that Reddit blocks it. Seriously? And y’all want me to think you’re capable of growth hahahahahhhhhhh saying I’m the shitty one. Ok, Dan, you stay mad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:35 PM
3

I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I had to experience before I read it, too. It truly changes you to experience. I hope you’re in a better place now, or working towards one❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:26 PM
3

Thank you. I didn’t mean to come off defensive. I’m sorry you went through abuse, it’s a painful process to work through. Truly appreciate your clarification! A no tolerance policy while still maintaining an outlook that there are men out there who are capable of change could probably be helpful. I currently remain more hopeless than hopeful, though. This view helps protect me until I feel strong enough to allow for a more open perspective. Time single, building my relationship with myself and n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 09:23 PM
7

That’s great!! Thanks for the hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:38 PM
8

I felt this way, too. But honestly staying optimistic in regards to men in therapy has harmed my well-being. I deeply believe people can change. And I have believed the best in everyone, and it’s hurt me. It’s set me up to accept people coming in and out of my lives when it suits them, it set me up to accept abuse. I can believe in change but still be realistic in understanding that I have yet to witness it in men. I do not think I’m being bleak, and it feels shaming for someone to say this. I’v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:30 PM
14

YES. Lundy Bancroft talks about this in “Why Does He Do That?” That they will use therapy to get better at manipulating/avoiding accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 06:19 PM
12

💯 one of my less abusive exes went into therapy when I broke up with him, and then claimed he could do the work himself, that the therapist wasn’t helping him with any insights he couldn’t get from his friends (women he met on the apps when we broke up😂). Ok. If your therapist isn’t providing valuable insights FIND ANOTHER. 🙄 I’ve gone through many as I learn and educate myself AT THE SAME TIME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 05:01 PM
34

Hahahaha yea the more passive they are, the lower value they are. NOT to say aggressiveness is the answer. Though most men think that. Assertiveness, and responsibility. But most men only know anger or apathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:54 PM
45

Also, when it comes time for you to ask for your free listening session, they tell you to talk to your therapist (that you’re seeing because they’re gaslighting tf out of you and using you). True story, happened with my covertly abusive ex. He’d unload on me for hours, or send long text threads, bitching about his job his coworkers his boss his dad his ex… then got quiet and stonewalled me the only time I told him a therapist could help. But when it came time for me to talk about anything regard…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:51 PM
18

Yup. Gives me chills.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:45 PM
13

❤️💯learned this the hard way
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:44 PM
50

Ugh, yup. It’s hard to accept all men are on an abusive scale. What’s even more fucked, the less abusive they seem, the more scary their abuse could actually be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:34 PM
35

They have to hit rock bottom to finally want to grow. They need to have no one or nothing to point the finger at but the mirror. But the problem is so many pick mes are socialized to help, so they never hit rock bottom. Little do the pickmes know they’re making it harder on a GRAND scale to get the love they need.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 04:33 PM
25

Exactly it’s so obnoxious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:55 PM
22

Exactly. They’re not there to take personal responsibility. They’re there to find ways to blame anything else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 03:54 PM
10

My ex lived with his father and said he was saving to buy a home. I believed him. But on New Years, I asked him what goals he had and I felt this odd hollow feeling when responded. He said something about traveling, blah blah… and I realized he had no intention of moving out. Traveling is expensive, dude, and so is committing to buying a home. He knew nothing about areas costs, and the pandemic actually being a better time to buy a home and spent most of the time playing video games, not looking…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 01:52 PM
4

Hahahaha cuz it’s happy for him not for us lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 12:54 AM
1

Yep. It’s sad but I thought my covert narc was a catch bc he didn’t follow thirst trap accounts/have a social media presence (and paid for dinners). Now I know it’s bc he’s too low effort to bother w social media AND too insecure to put himself out there. I thought the ex before him was a catch BECAUSE HE COULD APOLOGIZE, and because he cared when I was upset, and cared about my well being. Lmao. THE BAR IS IN HELL. So I’ll drink at the bar with lady friends, I’m no longer set on finding a guy. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/21 12:49 AM
2

Hahahaha thank you❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 11:17 PM
6

Holy hell am I jealous of that vindication! I’m just hoping and praying my ex is going through the same. Seriously though… the level of audacity and delusion it takes a man to think it’s completely acceptable to use women to get over another woman who also… so weird… felt used. Hope he dies from his butthurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 07:29 PM
1

A bit late to this post, but the reason narcissism is becoming so prevalent is because as a society we’re becoming more and more disconnected from nature/the source/community and higher power (not just meaning god, but connecting to something beyond our own self-identity/ego). Narcissism is therefore inadvertently rewarded, the more disconnected as a society we become.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 04:13 AM
55

Yeah it bugs be pickmes validate it. I’d much rather a woman find a fake nice guy pretending they’re ready for a relationship (a bang maid therapist) and then after they’ve slept with them, the woman cuts them off. Like if you’re going to have a one night stand, at least hurt the covert users and stop encouraging overt users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 12:31 AM
88

🤦🏻‍♀️If you’re devaluing yourself no one is going to appreciate you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 12:31 AM
64

YESSS. Here for this. I just wish I could get in my brain and dig this groove of disgust towards easy men and replace the societal slut shaming of the woman for responding to coercion. And I wish I could control the level of oxytocin that occurs after a fuckboi plies you with drinks, lays on the heavy manipulation, then devalues you. Inject myself with vasopressin? Or simply cut off any man who sleeps with me fast if I end up coerced? I dunno. But I’d like to feel disgust for it, and their thin,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 07:20 PM
14

Arthur is the best
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 03:39 PM
8

Oh my god this is a great point. My ex did that every single time. He thought he was the most conscientious person too. Or that was also a lie hahahaha 👹🗑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/21 07:34 AM
9

SAME.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:09 PM
49

🐱😣😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:08 PM
224

🤮so sorry you experienced that and Jesus Christ does that shit actually WORK in anything but trashy television series?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:06 PM
97

That mushroom shirt and witch skirt though hahahaha. The accuracy is so on point with our current zeitgeist, I’m dying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:02 PM
17

This has been my experience to varying degrees, in every relationship I’ve been in. ❤️UGH Same here. It took this past relationship to actually make sense of it. My therapist said that we all have to see the hole once and fall in, in order to finally avoid the hole. So this time, my higher power was observing it, so I can understand it much more clearly bc I saw the nightmare unfold, and my gut knew it this time. Sucks it had to happen but it means a lot that I can use my experience to help othe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 10:52 PM
87

Yes!!!! FDS taught me that voice is important. We’re inadvertently taught as women to be accommodating which has the unfortunate consequence of actually devaluing our sacredness, wounds and traumas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 06:29 PM
376

When we were on a picnic date and he abruptly got up and started packing everything up without including me in his thought process. There was no “alright we should get going” or “do you want head out, pack up?” And this was literally right as we’d been kissing. I dismissed it as maybe fear or nerves or drunken awkwardness. But I couldn’t shake the feeling of discomfort. Like I was simply an extension of him, and only existed in regards to when he wanted me to? Zero collaboration. Hard to explain…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:55 PM
17

Yuuup what’s up with all these skeletal ass anemic white boys thinking they’re hot shit simply because they can grow a beard?🥱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:16 PM
8

Chills. I’m so sorry you endured such trauma. You sound like you’re in an okay place, now and knew what you needed to do, and know your standards. You simply needed to break the trauma bond. Thank you for sharing your story and thank you for being an example of courage and strength in the face of such adversity. And fuck your ex. I hope he gets his karma. And yes everyone needs to read that book. Bancroft is a gift, and a true ally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 04:14 PM
1

Hahahahaha same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 03:14 PM
84

“This post is more for me.” …Clearly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:07 PM
24

Oh wow. What a dick. He probably acted like it was a joke afterward didn’t he? My ex actually did something similar and the way it was so bluntly said: “I’d rather play video games.” I was taken aback. He tried back-tracking saying he thought I was joking about wanting him there, said he’d gladly go. But at that point I didn’t want him there, bc he showed he wouldn’t be a good support anyways. I’m sure that was the case w your ex. Their presence wasn’t exactly an addition. Mostly subtraction.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:22 PM
9

Yeah real life hobbies are much sexier. I say with experience of dating both. Though real life hobbies don’t necessarily mean HV. But I’d much prefer someone who plays an instrument, likes discovering new books/music vs someone who games. The men I know who game are controlling and entitled, and they game bc they don’t feel in control of their own reality. Who is? Let go of the controller. It’s indicative of men with low eq and/or avoidance tendencies who are in a permanent state of dissociation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 12:42 AM
14

By any chance have you read it? Is it helpful? Does it go into any detail on addiction to unhealthy relational patterns?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:21 PM
3

Lmao seems like they care a whole lot. Never seen dudes louder in a post.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:58 PM
2

I keep getting notifications about these angry scores hahahaha 🛠
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:57 PM
28

Thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:55 PM
17

In the movie they dissect his actual ability to free climb, don’t they? Or maybe this is another documentary on him. He has the brain of a sociopath. He needs high adrenaline to get any thrill/satisfaction. He of course will be in a relationship that lacks true intimacy because his brain is not as capable of empathy as it is capable of chasing highs. I do always wonder about these cases, where the brain shows signs of lacking empathy/chasing thrills. The brain is shaped by our behaviors and emot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:25 PM
5

“You can give me a joke but you can’t take it when I give you a joke.” Exactly what my covert narcissistic ex said after he called me a c.unit when I bragged about winning at SCRABBLE. Later that night he sexually abused me. He even wanted CREDIT for not calling me a c.unit again after I said not to ever again or I’d leave him. You’re not a good guy because you managed to hold your tongue. His insults just became a lot more plausibly deniable after that. I would say the same about feeling turned…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:48 PM
3

I’m so sorry that happened to you TieDieEye. It must have taken a very long time to heal from that kind of relationship, the terror becomes part of your reality. I hope you’re on your way to if not already feeling better. That sort of trauma never fully disappears. When you said you ended up blaming yourself, I completely understand and I’m sure a lot of women can. It is part of our culture to blame women for men’s depravity. But culture does NOT excuse it. I would imagine after being raped you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 12:10 PM
3

Yes I think I was bonding to a fuckboi through oxytocin. It was not love, it was a cocktail of hormonal chemical dependency. And I’m definitely not drinking more than one drink with a date (when I date again) until I know fully that they love me and there is commitment. Because this is usually the only way I end up getting physical way too soon. Men know this shit, too. Never again. Weirdly, the man before him “fell in love” with me two weeks in, and took a long time to get over our relationship…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:51 AM
90

Lmao wow ok dude thanks for proving our point about why we’re here. He really thought he made a unique statement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 11:33 AM
5

Hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 10:16 PM
3

It sounds like you enjoy his company and truly appreciate what he brings to the table outside of kissing. I’m just curious… is he a BAD kisser? Or are you looking for that elusive spark? FWIW, as you mention your last relationship was traumatic, it sounds like you may be reenacting old unconscious patterns. That “spark” or chemistry is often two people triggering one another’s attachment wounds and it’s relatively unstable and unhealthy. But, if you’re not physically attracted to him and his kis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 10:13 PM
25

Honestly I was never attracted to anyone until they literally forced me to have sex or heavily coerced me into it. Then suddenly I was developing feelings and had no idea why. Ugh I could’ve written this. I legitimately didn’t find my ex attractive the first two dates. I kissed him and it was ok. But suddenly after he plows me with drinks and despite protests we slept together, and I felt awful and sick afterwards about it bc my higher self KNEW it was too soon and this would hurt me. I tried to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 10:08 PM
5

God I hope so with this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 09:41 PM
11

This
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 06:34 PM
2

This is the best idea yet. I disabled dms otherwise I’d try that next time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 04:35 PM
1

Is your ex my ex? This was the same time frame my ex said about his last relationship. 5 years, last two she barely touched him. I don’t wonder why now. After a year I didn’t want to touch him either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:46 PM
2

Oh my god. Duper’s delight is TERRIFYING to witness. When I saw it late in my last relationshit I was so gaslit at that point I took the smirk to mean something was wrong with ME that he found duping me so pleasing. I didn’t even understand what he thought he was getting away with, I just knew the smirk gave me a sinking feeling that there was something sinister happening. To be honest, I still don’t know what he thought he was getting away with, when I think of it from the perspective of a norm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:35 PM
2

👑this is an act of solidarity for all of us. Thank you. I’m so sorry that this happened, but on the positive side, you lost nothing of value and walked away with your dignity in tact. I aspire to this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:19 PM
49

😔I’m sorry you were subjected to that clown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:13 PM
62

I would laugh… but until all Women are FDS literate, these 50 yr olds do have more of a chance to get a 20-something yr old woman pregnant than those same women would have to find a man in 20s who will marry them and have kids with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:09 PM
67

This is like the story of Dan and Betty Broderick
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:05 PM
124

Holy shit. The audacity that he was upset she left him. Cloaking honesty with self-absorption and blaming her reaction? Classic narcissistic behavior. Not surprised if at 38 he’s still unmarried. When men have never committed and they’re in their thirties, unless they’re widowed, they’re avoidant. And if they’re not working on their avoidance, they become more narcissistic the more pickmes give them benefits without any doubts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:00 PM
16

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 06:40 PM
64

Yup. Genny isn’t the answer he just thinks she is so he can avoid intimacy and reality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 06:40 PM
28

Hahahaha exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:56 AM
444

Yeah he’s clearly showing how he views anyone who isn’t Genny. Merely void fillers. Funny thing is, if he ever actually got to know and date Genny, he’d be solely disappointed that she was human and had needs and pooped and cried like humans do. He’d be so sad she didn’t exist as a hologram to fulfill all his unmet desires and needs without actually existing outside of that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 11:53 AM
2

Hahahahah I dunno I never got the Reddit care message, but I think other FDS members said you can block the care team too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 02:14 AM
12

And this is EXACTLY why it’s not really consent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 02:09 AM
13

Added to that: it’s not really consent when there’s an inherent power imbalance from the person drawn to the violent sexual behavior. Women are already more vulnerable in sexual relationships than men. Risking pregnancy, rape, assault, etc. Men are more socially dominant and often more physically strong. When a man is drawn to bdsm… they’re abusers framing their depravity in “socially acceptable” semantics. It’s similar to thinking that all porn stars are consenting to the depraved acts being fi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 02:02 AM
24

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 08:03 PM
11

Yeah, me too me too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 07:57 PM
13

It’s a blessing, FOR SURE. It’s ok, I’m still healing but I am already much stronger than I was when I met him. And now I know to trust my gut w even the most subtle red flags.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 06:51 PM
54

Why can’t men just be decent humans and not frogs for a start? EXACTLY! I’m done w the tired narrative that we as women have to bring the prince out of a slimy man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 06:45 PM
122

💯 it’s pretty hard to follow FDS until you’re ready to believe men aren’t out for your best interest. Once you realize it, so much easier. I’m sorry you were led on by this scrote. My therapist would tell me we gotta kiss a bunch of frogs but I just don’t really care to do that anymore. Not worth the slime trail left on you afterwards. I understand you’re not wanting to date, I’m there too. Smart that you didn’t sleep with him yet. It’ll be much easier to forget him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:20 PM
186

Don’t talk to him about it. Block him and delete. My ex would’ve found a way to excuse it by saying “I was afraid of losing you/didn’t want to scare you away so I pretended I wasn’t looking for anything serious.” This guy above is not authentic, either way. His stories don’t match. Block delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:15 PM
107

💯 my ex. I read that and was like yikes red flag. It took being in a relationship w him to realize how much of a coward he was. He said the same thing about his ex. But painted it in such a way that I felt bad for him. Turns out he was a covert narc. If someone stays in a relationship that’s dead… they’re still getting benefits or they’d go. Or if not that, they’re simply cowards who don’t know how to have closure or communication but wait for the woman to do it. Either way, they’re users.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:13 PM
14

SAME! Also after Matthew passes she is honest with that other suitor and tells him she’s not ready and will be grieving a long time, but still allows herself to have fun (slowly). I also love how she’s not overly giving of her advice or empathy. She’s got a strongly developed inner masculine and feminine. First time I watched the show I liked Lady Sybil more but now I see Sybil had poorer boundaries and was overly giving/naive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:18 PM
12

🤩🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 04:17 AM
20

Hahahaha yes! I didn’t report bc his account was literally like an hour old lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:03 AM
28

I just disabled my chat! Don’t need that shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:03 AM
70

Oh my god all the relationships in that show were toxic! Dan and Serena were awful too! And Nate and Serena.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 02:01 AM
111

💯 why when I hear a guys favorite show is the office I know they’re a special type of delusional nice guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:59 AM
165

Yeah Ron was abusive!! All relationships in Grey’s Anatomy are pickme women with asshole emotionally abusive men. All relationships in sex and the city are that way as well. It’s actually hard to find good relationships in media! I’m currently rewatching Downton Abbey and the relationship between Matthew and Mary Crawley seemed mutual, and he was high value. I wonder if anyone on here would agree!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 01:57 AM
26

Such a sad story, my heart breaks for your mom and you. My heart breaks for her, too. When you can see who they are without their addiction, it’s so hard to let go. But the more painful fact is usually the addiction is a symptom of more pervasive patterns, and the person they are without the addiction is just as disordered. This statement about codependency rings true for narcissistic or abusive men, too. Staying in the relationship only enables their abusiveness. It won’t get better in the rela…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 12:42 PM
13

Go to therapy is the worst advice unless you by chance happen to get a very smart/astute and observant therapist with experience in emotional abuse. This is abuse. He broke her boundary but she is doubting herself. This sounds like cognitive dissonance and like he’s manipulating and guilting her… which is typical when addiction is involved.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 12:36 PM
12

This right here somewhat solidifies that maybe becoming a marriage family therapist is a good idea if I can see through the bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 12:32 PM
50

Ugh. Have you tried articulating how it feels to be abused (so that you can clue him in on more ways to manipulate you into thinking it is your fault for being abused)? Maybe you haven’t approached it from a compassionate perspective where he feels like he’s on the same side as you (even though he doesn’t want to be)? Maybe you can try several different formulas (and make a fool of yourself because he doesn’t want to hear you) until you get the respect you deserve (you won’t but keep trying, rel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 06:48 PM
7

Yeah I know…and I’m sure manipulative scrotes would completely twist that night of freedom to imply individuality. Just like the men who get mad at their significant others and blame them for being controlling bc they don’t want them commenting on random thirst trap social media posts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:24 PM
1

Super accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 02:22 PM
28

Ugh this tracks. I feel both understood and very sad. Thanks for this insight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:33 PM
18

Lmao all the while incredibly self-impressed with his verbal diarrhea. Probably rereading it and whacking himself off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 08:30 PM
239

I dunno I like the idea of freedom in a relationship in the sense that we would both have our own independent identities and develop one shared identity of the relationship. I don’t like the idea of the opposite of freedom, enslavement, in a relationship. But as far as strip clubs? Lol I wouldn’t be dating a guy if he valued that scene in any way. As far as one last night of freedom? Lmao if it’s seen that way, I’m not keeping you hostage… please go fucking anytime.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:35 PM
384

Jay Z is not a king as Beyoncé seems to suggest, he is 🗑 And it saddens me how high value she comes off to most simply bc she’s rich and beautiful but she has no self-respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:27 PM
19

💁🏻‍♀️Where is the lie
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 03:59 AM
37

🤣where did you get my exes photo. He’s every basic white dude lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 12:23 AM
218

💯 this realization is why I will never again believe when a man is kind to pets that it means they have empathy. Like with my nvm ex, his dog was a status symbol. Also… pets don’t talk back and they depend on them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 03:40 PM
17

Complete lack of empathy. I’m so sorry that happened to you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:33 PM
11

“I imagine it’s you though.” Like that’s supposed to be… flattering?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:10 PM
12

Hahahaha I reactively downvoted this. Whoops.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 02:10 PM
2

Yeah I wish I knew it when I was dating my narc ex. That and “wait was that a joke?”or “please elaborate.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 01:30 AM
6

Yeah I cannot wait to achieve the state of indifference. I’m nearly there. Right now I’m in the stage where I want him to suffer lol. It’ll pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:43 PM
4

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:41 PM
8

I don’t like thinking “he doesn’t like you” personally. A lot of women with trauma end up in these kinds of relationships and it doesn’t help remove them from the situation to hear that, it makes them stay longer to prove their likable. This approach benefits men, so I don’t find it blunt. I find it to fail to put the accountability where it belongs, on the asshole leading someone on. Literally doesn’t matter if he likes you or not if he’s inconsistent and shady.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 03:42 PM
6

Yeah… Unfortunately same. It’s not a tragedy when people who bring misery to the entire world around them end themselves. These people cause severe trauma and damage to others. If they can’t remove themselves from doing so… or getting help…this is the most noble decision they can make.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:33 PM
12

This is true but usually underneath that hot shit feeling is a lot of insecurity and fear they’re really not as hot shit as they think. Bc they’re not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:26 PM
45

Yes! I told my ex the same. Not that it registered. He just projected further. I told him he shouldn’t date anymore until he gets help, unless he wants to continue damaging other people with his unresolved trauma. He probably took that shit and flipped it and reversed it as soon as I hung up on the break up convo. Because they can’t face their demons. They run from them but it shows on their haggard faces. I used to feel empathy for my ex but these days I’m just… disgusted. Because it’s really a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:30 AM
43

💯 their trauma is usually some variation on the theme of “this girl I dated ten years ago really only wanted to sleep with me bc I offer nothing else but she said she loved me and that hurts my feefees,” or “my ex from high school cheated on me bc I was a douchebag and offered her to my friend aS a JoKe and I didn’t realize she’d actually do it and break up with me.” Sprinkle in divorce, and their fear of commitment because of that. They’re lonely and depressed w or without a relationship 🤷🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:21 AM
60

Yeah breakups like that aren’t normal. There’s no closure with someone who takes no accountability. And there’s no closure in trauma bonds. Bc one persons addicted, and the other gets high off of that dependency. Trauma bonds suck so badly, I know how it feels. You’ll get through it and wonder wtf you saw in him. And he’ll get what he deserves. He just may be too daft to realize it when it hits him. I hope you’re hanging in there. It helps me to remind myself healing is like a spiral with a line…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 05:11 AM
28

😞I’m so sorry. I hope you can find some peace soon. I’m certain that you can get a place of protective custody or a protective order in these cases. I don’t know the legal details but I know I had a family member who was attacked who was given a free motel stay for a couple weeks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:59 AM
22

I know exactly how you feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:25 AM
32

Hahahahahhhhh that was my ex alright. He even said he was worried he was one. Lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:24 AM
72

I can’t even imagine how I’d feel if I found that out about my narcissistic ex. I’m glad my post helped you. He most certainly hasn’t done the hard work, and I feel for his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 04:23 AM
120

No excuse for trash behavior, ever. I’m sorry you’re hurting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:59 AM
68

💯 if they say this I also don’t ask. Bc there’s no good conversation that happens when they put the onus on you to start the conversation. Plus when they have to say they’re an open book… it’s like when they say they’re honest or nice guys …they’re not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 02:22 AM
87

I do not fully agree with this. It’s not so black and white, and because society puts more pressure on women to be “chosen” this perspective ends up with the unfortunate conclusion of the women not being “good enough” bc he doesn’t like her. Fuck that noise. If he’s inconsistent. You don’t want him. Period. You don’t like him. This “he doesn’t like you” bs frames it as though if you were someone different he’d be consistent. SO WRONG. And… beyond that, it encourages a pickmeisha mentality of com…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 01:17 AM
201

🤣 “I’m an open book ask me anything.” Proceeds to stay a closed book and ignore all discussions deeper than “that tree is pretty,” or “that umbrella is cool.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 12:58 AM
139

Yeah the pity part. Like you feel bad for the fact that you’re a superficial asshole?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:41 PM
20

Maybe she doesn’t have the heart to tell you your spelling needs work buddy. Tell her so she can divorce your ignorant ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 03:39 PM
81

Yeah I think he’s triggered by the fact that he’s been called manipulative by exes who dumped his lv ass. I thoroughly enjoy how he’s blaming her boundaries… /s Asshat, you don’t get to decide someone else’s boundaries, when they say them or how they say them… that’s ALSO manipulative. It’s like saying consent requires a clear loud no. Actually it doesn’t. BESIDES THE FACT that she SAID a clear no… if you repeat your boundaries the only thing it does is encourage ppl like her asshole husband to …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 09:18 PM
130

Her friend is not her friend
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 09:01 PM
56

I will always want to date me (now). That’s the part I never worked on. And I can thank my narcopath ex, bc he made glaringly obvious what was missing. Self trust, self acceptance, self love and self forgiveness. We don’t have to be a catch to date ourselves!! I have higher standards for myself now, though. Before I put myself out there, I will meet those standards. We don’t have to be date material to date ourselves! We have to date ourselves so that we ARE. We have to love ourselves unconditio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 06:23 PM
377

Thank you for your assertiveness and honesty. You’re a true ally, and I love this energy. I wish more women could be so bold with their boundaries. He wanted you to be his therapist/bang maid. I told my ex the same. Before I blocked him he’d tell me how hurt he was years later. Then what’re you doing on the apps? He went to therapy to bitch about me for about a month, quit, then found girls on the apps to enable and pity him. Lack of self reflection is such an unattractive trait. It’s why I ende…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:34 PM
9

I hate that she’s asking if she’s the asshole though. Like… no? But I hope Sophie leaves him for this male model and comes to her fucking senses about this narcissist nick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:23 PM
14

Hahahaha he’s like one of those inflatable tube man sky dancers in car dealership lots. And is also full of hot air.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:15 PM
17

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:13 PM
24

This, exactly. I felt triggered seeing it. If I actually met him I would most likely want to get away as soon as I could. I’ve been duped by wolf in sheep clothing who were angry cowards but this dude is just pure angry and not afraid of hiding it. He most likely is physically abusive on top of emotionally. And thinks it’s all ok because he’s DoMiNaNt. It’s assholes like him that create angry cowards bc it encourages fellow men to be afraid of not having the PoWeR in a relationship. As if power …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:12 PM
13

Hahahaha no that self aware bc the end, saying “you’re delusional…” that would be him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:05 PM
28

Guaranteed he was cheated on lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 03:03 PM
92

Shrödingers douchebag: One who makes douchebag statements, particularly sexist, racist or otherwise bigoted ones, then decides whether they were “just joking” or dead serious based on whether other people in the group approve or not.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:45 AM
8

Love that we’re getting so many new users!!! Gives me hope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 02:39 AM
149

💯 …And it’s near impossible to have an emotional connection w men who want to have sex with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 10:33 PM
104

Right? For my recent ex… I wish I never had a second date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:14 PM
25

Talk about projection holyyyy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 01:10 PM
10

They’re simply trying to avoid the reality of the fact that they lack strong morals, and make excuses for impression management. They don’t give a flying fuck if it hurt you. They care that you’re mad now which makes it harder to continue using you for their benefit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:56 AM
3

I could not WATCH the last traumatic scene. I simply looked away and covered my ears.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:53 AM
7

Yes! It goes to the fact that anyone who has to self-ascribe positive attributes to their character, usually lacks any.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 12:51 AM
41

Of course! I’m definitely one of them 😅but if yer buying them for yer boyfriend because he can’t buy his own toilet paper…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 08:36 PM
57

I mean he’s right… in the case of a mutual, loving, respectful relationship. But I guarantee he has disordered behaviors creating suffering in his life and his partners… bc he can’t take accountability. So he blames it on the partner’s inability be happy and self reliant… plays the victim…despite the fact that he just likely gets off on how much power she gives him in her unhappiness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 07:53 PM
280

WHEN are women going to learn that when a guy calls their ex crazy it’s a glaring loud siren red flag? And when they act clueless as far as why their relationship failed? That’s a quiet red flag for lacking accountability. If they can’t speak with maturity and respect about their ex they are narcissistic and if their ex was hurtful, a HVM keeps it to themselves until the relationship evolves. And deep down, pickmes know this. They just like feeling chosen… which is relatively narcissistic too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:48 PM
178

Hahahahahah holy shit. Yeah he’s jerking it, a lot. And… possibly cheating? Pull out method. Either way… why is she arguing with a grown man and buying him baby wipes… is he a toddler? She should keep the toilet paper she buys hidden for her butt and let him face the consequences of no toilet paper until he can buy that shit himself. I don’t gaf if it’s petty, he needs to face consequences, she doesn’t need to be shit covered just bc he is 💯 full of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:32 PM
20

Yes!! When I’ve just met a guy and receive a good morning text, I say nothing back and move on. They know what they’re doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:52 PM
8

💯 they think it’s everyone else that’s abusive and difficult.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:46 PM
5

Lol. Short answer: no. Long answer: also no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 02:45 PM
23

🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 11:39 PM
39

🤣such a 🤴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 10:27 PM
43

Well in the relationship with my ex narc, I quit an eating disorder for good, and stopped drinking and don’t shop at all anymore, so I’d say he was my last hurrah in the instant gratification nightmare. Instant gratification on the other end in a HUMAN relationship is called intermittent reinforcement. It’s interesting how he phrases it on the victim’s end as needing instant gratification; then goes on to mention drugs, alcohol, shopping. The difference between a narcissist and drugs, alcohol an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 01:38 PM
1

You’re correct, and I’m aware the freeze was because of actual trauma reaction, and staying in the relationship was all part of that abuse. It’s just, I doubt it would hold up in court, sadly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:31 PM
2

Wow, I’m so so sorry you went through this. I was afraid of this, and was even going to talk to a coo friend but now I know my instincts were right in questioning whether it was a good idea. I also did feel it was rather thoughtless of my counselor to suggest especially if she is a domestic abuse counselor. You’d think she’d know. Thank you for your warning. I’m so sorry you were treated so badly for wanting justice. I feel so angry for you. Not only do we have to deal w the trauma of rape, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 11:30 PM
12

That’s the truth 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 03:04 PM
11

I’m so sorry you dealt with this pain for years. I agree, it’s completely fucked up that society is so gaslit as a whole that everyone thinks first about proof and stress as opposed to holding the abuser accountable. This is exactly why there’s so many abusive men. They think it’s their right to go around doing whatever tf they want. I realize I do have a woman at his job he tried to triangulate me with who I talked to after we broke up, who’d also wanted to sue him for defamation of character. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 02:20 PM
22

Thank you so much for your advice. I truly appreciate it. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:59 PM
16

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:39 PM
29

💯 Society needs to stop blaming women for men’s abuse and selfishness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:39 PM
56

Yes. Sometimes this confusion is not bc they’re just not that into you. Sometimes it’s about them just being way too into themselves to be into anyone else, and resenting intimacy and connection as a whole. Confusion is a signal of being gaslit, and/or a transactional relationship on their part. And yesss she’s gorgeous and strong. Concise clear advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 01:37 PM
64

Lmao I do this too… look at the profile and am never surprised.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/21 05:35 AM
26

That’s not even a little bit cute
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 11:31 PM
103

Perfect to invite a 17 yr old girl who doesn’t expect much over. An adult woman… would be revolted. Nagging wife? Or unhappy bc you’re like a 12 yr old boy in a mans body?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:24 PM
11

Teach me your ways to change this perspective! Was it a slow process?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:15 PM
8

💯 shes enabling men to use women until they start losing their looks and charm. And lol in doing this, she’s preventing the possibility of there being more committed high value younger men in the future. AND She’s blocking herself off from meeting someone appropriate for her, and she’s traumatizing her kid. The kids dad will be in diapers when they graduate 8th grade. This isn’t love it’s mutual using and it’s not the least bit sexy for either party.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 06:15 PM
122

I wish women would stop dating their dads or grandads. It excuses vile pedophilic behavior and male entitlement. I feel just as mad at the women as the men involved. Wtf are the women doing? Lowering their life expectancy for one. I’m so disappointed in our society I want to go hide in a cave until I perish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:46 AM
44

Matt is Melanie, or Matt is paying. Or… both. Either way dude is future faking and she’s gonna get hurt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 08:26 PM
57

Hahahaha schrödingers vagina hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 06:31 PM
169

Ugh now this is the kind of pick me I cannot tolerate. Shaming other women to feel empowered when all they’re doing is disempowering THEMSELVES. When women treat other women as enemies, not allies, they should be shamed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:55 AM
13

Yeah… It takes a strong sense of both discernment and self restraint to ignore curiosity and the desire to prove a point to those who are detrimental to our safety. Which is strange bc you’d think it should be much easier than it is. I don’t need to know the why, bc it doesn’t help. The what of it seems to be about self destruction. I understand that, and I think many women do, too… bc society dehumanizes us therefore we perceive ourselves as less valuable. Trashing self before others are able t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 03:03 AM
3

Is this a joke though. Not funny but is this a joke? This is handmaids tale terrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 02:52 AM
66

I mean it’s obviously a hatred of women in general. I’m just particularly referring to what he is inferring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 12:18 AM
18

You can send me a msg!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 09:30 PM
44

Omggg yesssss! Dump him sis cards and ones on specific abuse tactics. I love this idea. I feel like a lot of girls would love to have them too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:56 PM
240

It is not cool to be a user. It just makes him look like a vile snake. Maybe that’s why this other girl don’t “act right.” Bc she knows he isn’t shit. You can see in his body language he is 🗑 arrogant posture, completely cut off from her. She’s clinging onto him for dear life and his ego looooves that dependency. Bc he can resent and feel contempt for her clinginess, all the while further encouraging it so he can validate his hatred of her, instead of where it belongs- directed at himself for la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:45 PM
133

Ah narcissists aren’t picky w the ppl they use. If he feels rejected by his dream woman, he can at least avoid feeling that rejection by instead projecting it onto some innocent woman who just wants to love and be loved. If someone wants him, it doesn’t matter if he wants them, it bolsters his ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:42 PM
179

He’d say to her “iT wAs A jOkE. YoU kNoW i LoVe YoU bAyBeEeEe.” And she’d want to believe it. And we would shame HER for being a pickme but tbh, I don’t ascribe to that. It’s like blaming the abused for not leaving the abuser. How about we hold men more accountable for being users?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 08:38 PM
149

I will be doing this for queens in the future. I’ll get some red flag business cards to just pass around. 🤣 feel like this could be a legit science experiment/art project.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:44 PM
468

This guy was an angel. I wish I had more ppl looking out for me like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/21 07:09 PM
15

No. Sounds like some Larry king live bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 08:42 PM
113

Ugh they are getting more and covert with their no effort attempts. If only every woman would join FDS and follow it like you, queen. Then men would stop having the audacity. Bc right now…. It’s ALL they have going for them. That and the ability to cloak it in emojis and flowery language. Kiss of sunshine? ☕️☀️…🤮✌🏼💫👻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 07:05 PM
12

This, exactly. Every time I was sleeping w my narc ex was self abuse, plummeting my esteem further into sewage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 10:51 AM
21

Oh my god my exact thoughts hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 10:29 AM
16

Other cluster b’s have dichotomous thinking, too- not just bpd- I think npd and bpd are two sides of the same coin. Both coped w trauma by “splitting.” Bpd fear abandonment, therefore split; Npd fears abandonment, too…but instead of craving/needing intimacy like bpd, they resent it and split to avoid it and therefore stave off abandonment. It may not be w aspd so much, but both npd and bpd do this. I think that this idealizing or devaluing often goes hand in hand with the Madonna whore complex. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 04:00 AM
20

Yes, misogynists only emotion is anger and they own it, no other women can have it. Only other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 03:50 AM
9

Yesssss🙏🏼I wish I had an award to give you. This should be in the handbook, it’s such a subtle red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/21 01:57 AM
39

It’s society it’s not the platform. It’s the patriarchy enabling Pollyanna fuckwits who spout “bOySwIlLbEbOyS” and encourage further narcissistic behaviors. These people are everywhere in every platform, and JUST as emotionally abusive bc they encourage predatory and vile behavior, all so they can keep their rose tinted glasses from getting smeared and fogged up by the shit they continue smearing around. Lmao like admiring a painting. Does a painting cry out when you smack it? Does a painting fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 01:50 PM
55

Hahahahahhhh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 12:21 AM
41

Oh yeah the choking thing isn’t even considered assault anymore. You tell them after the fact hey I don’t like that. Wtf is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:41 PM
77

Same ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:27 PM
310

If she lives through it 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 06:27 PM
19

Makes me think of my narc ex and my pickmeisha mind excusing his assholery. Before we slept together he acted so concerned that I made it home safe. Put on a big show to the point it felt phony. I wasn’t aware this was a red flag. After we slept together he did not walk me to my car or check to see if I made it home safe until I planned a date (I know please I’m learning) that was magical to HIM. He said it was the best date he’d ever been on, and he got out of his head. He walked me to my car t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 03:12 PM
36

If a guy is into anime this is a red flag for me. iTs A CaRtOoN iTs NoT rEaL was probably one of the men’s thoughts. Just like gaming isn’t real when they get off on murdering others and getting the best guns… it’s not the creativity for these abusive fuckbois. Just like porn isn’t real when they get off on choking, assault and rape. They think bc they’re not committing the act they have no need for guilty conscience. The more cloaked the violence the more insidiously abusive the men are I think…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/21 02:57 PM
12

Oh. It’s freedom alright, freedom from feeling like the shitty narcissistic person they are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 01:44 PM
17

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:57 AM
33

What I don’t even understand can you explain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 02:01 AM
15

You’re incredible
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:11 AM
27

“I’ve been in open relationships since my twenties.” “I’m a good listener, tell me about your day.” “I’m either always horny or yearning, is that unusual?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/08/21 12:11 AM
7

I say that…but I’d love them to be good at sex and there to be sexual attraction as well. But the more I’ve gotten hurt by fuckbois the less I want that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:39 PM
12

Lol in fairy tales the men are first frogs or beasts and the love of a perfect, beautiful and saintly martyr of a woman transforms their shitastic behavior into HV. Meaning, I don’t think they exist in fairy tales either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:37 PM
5

Hahahaha the forever had me dying
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 02:22 AM
13

Tf?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 01:33 AM
27

You’re about to go down the aisle. This is the man you love and have committed yourself to. Do you really want to throw that all away? I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation. Maybe he made fake licenses to buy your wedding ring. Maybe there’s a surprise in the basement he’ll show you after the wedding. I don’t know why you’d assume the worst. Take a deep breath, he wouldn’t be marrying you if he was a bad guy he’s obviously dedicated to YOU. You should return the loyalty and quit having trust…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 03:31 AM
76

Misplaced shame is men’s number one MO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 03:26 AM
29

I mean everyone pondered how she didn’t know? How she had no inkling? She must have sensed something. Of course she did, of course there was confusion. We are just taught to not question men’s abnormal (abusive) behavior bc calling out strange behavior as a woman is not just psychologically dangerous (being gaslit is bad enough)… but it’s also physically dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/21 03:25 AM
3

Asking about love languages now will get an automatic block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 05:14 PM
27

Oh my god yup. “We can work on this.” All the while me being the only one working on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 02:14 PM
12

Same sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:48 AM
10

I need these women in my life
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 03:48 AM
41

I want it to happen, so badly. The validation we have been refused would be so healing. We look up an ex and there’s three other women with stories like “oh yeah pile of trash.” The self doubt we’re forced and brainwashed to develop bc we’ve been so gaslit in society- this online resource would be so healing on its own
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:24 PM
31

Yes but these things don’t make a man mentally and emotionally healthy either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 10:16 PM
67

Men who need to gaslight others into thinking abuse is love and that reciprocity and genuine care is simping
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 05:22 AM
14

Wow, that completely makes sense. Twisted fucks, I would put no manipulations past them. Disgusting. The world would be so much better if they could all just be exposed, put on a world-wide list of nvm. A nvm registry where women can check the list and know to avoid them. I’d gladly put my recent ex on that list. I wish I could protect any woman who he even so much as walks past.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/08/21 02:47 AM
20

Thing is even w out the alcohol or drugs the abuse comes out. I think addiction is just a symptom
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:14 PM
75

Just spoke to my therapist today and along these same lines, alcohol and drugs don’t make them lose control either. It reveals what they’re capable of when they lose inhibitions that would slow that impulse if sober
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 10:05 PM
5

I give myself a cute sticker on my calendar everyday I don’t talk to my abusive ex. That’s even embarrassing to me but it’s at least growth. This… it’s just so unfunny and so unsexy. Also get out if the dog house free? This encourages abuse! This man even looks like he lives in a dog house.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 09:55 PM
9

This resonates with me, thank you for sharing. I recently came to the realization (knew it intellectually but FELT in my bones today in therapy) that I have been taught to feel shame for having feelings, any feelings- good or bad. And as a deep feeler, this has created the belief that as a person, I’m unworthy, unlovable, etc. I’ve never felt fully safe embracing the depth of my feelings NOR my desire to express them and it has in essence, created what these judgmental individuals would call low…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/08/21 09:56 PM
5

Yep and most women will praise them too. Wow he has a full time job wow he has never been arrested wow he pays his bills wow he graduated college/high school. Whereas women were not a catch unless we’re young hot educated and needless.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:48 PM
62

I call men out. My narc ex would say shit about other women and I’d just say straight up it was not ok. He didn’t engage in it after but every once in a while he’d slip. I got most heated when he called the girl who delivered water to his work a “bimbo with big jugs” bc she came like five minutes before they closed. I wouldn’t gossip about her and said he was acting like an asshole. I told him that ppl don’t revolve around him and his schedule, and it had nothing to do with her big jugs and the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 05:12 AM
10

Yeppp, a narcissist’s accusations are confessions. Mine said I had no compassion, too fragile, couldn’t take a joke, was always fighting, took things too personally. Lmao this was actually all he was doing. He was the one taking shit personally. My feelings, desire for personal autonomy, my boundaries. This put him on offense, but passive aggressively.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:13 AM
16

I know how that feels, deeply. My ex was so manipulative it was like breathing for him. Honestly only became fully clear once I left. I kept googling about his shitty behaviors and doubting myself bc I was so gaslit and stuck in cognitive dissonance. I was even listening to podcasts talking about cognitive dissonance and being confused if I was experiencing it LOL. I was having cognitive dissonance about my cognitive dissonance. Anyways, I’m so glad you have no idea what he’s doing, I guess you …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:06 AM
23

SAME. The little misogynistic slip up comments. Or comments that showed he wasn’t actually committed. And CONSTANT negging, gaslighting, and manipulation. What is worse is that I think some of it was just unconscious and just natural. It’s almost worse in that sense bc it means it seems both smooth as well as clueless. Total mindfuckery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 03:05 AM
21

🤢🤢🤢I’m so sorry. Glad he’s your ex. What a troll. 💯 hahahaha and I bet he was SO PISSED you left him old and rotting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:13 AM
48

Yup, this seems like the majority of men. The sad thing is, we’ve also been brainwashed to think that’s a good guy, and to settle for crumbs of commitment from him bc it’s the barest of minimum.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 01:12 AM
32

I’m sorry 😞 Yeah my ex was “not like other guys,” in that he was a sadistic narcissist, whereas fuck bois are just annoying fuck bois. Those are the worst “not like other guys.” Because it’s true, they aren’t. But usually it’s for the worst, isn’t it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 11:51 PM
25

Yeah 💯, but it’s not usually a happy/fruitful marriage. Prob ends in divorce, if the pickme stumbles upon intersectional feminism.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 11:50 PM
28

Yuuuup. The most scary of entitled men are men that are “nice guys” ™️. And when they operate under the veil of politeness, niceness and innocence, it’s the most dangerous. It’s like Joe in You. Thinking Beck needed protecting, so his violent stalking was acceptable, bc “he cared and wasn’t like other guys”. Holy shit. Just had an epiphany. There’s a “not like other guys” that’s just as harmful. They’re the Wolf in sheep’s clothing. My ex was like this. I’m pretty sure he’s a sociopath or a mali…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:26 PM
42

Entitlement typically means abusive tbh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 10:15 PM
77

Absolutely porn is a mirror but it condones these abusive behaviors instead of admonishing them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 11:54 PM
25

It’s not rude but it can be dangerous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 09:37 PM
24

I can’t even imagine saying shit like that, even if they did look like my ex. First of all, you probably don’t look like her, but bc their brain is fried by porn every woman who is remotely fuckable to them “looks like their ex.” But I’d never be able to say this shit bc one, if I saw someone that looked like my ex I’d swipe left so fast, even after I’m healed bc it’s an automatic trigger. Two, I don’t have the audacity to say shit like this. Who does? Men. They do. Third though, I wouldn’t be t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:28 PM
19

Hahahahah
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 05:26 PM
20

Omfg I am just realizing maybe sex w my ex wasn’t great I was just high in edibles 🤣 Maybe my libido will return when I use them again. I stopped drinking and getting high to heal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:27 PM
55

I don’t like shaming pickmes for falling prey to a toxic hookup culture. We’ve all been there in some way, and if we haven’t, we are lucky. Besides good sex isn’t enough. Hard to determine some has a Michelin star dick. Men put on good shows. They can seem high value until sex is in the picture. They can give good sex until they’re done pretending their libido is similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:20 PM
37

Ugh yeah I have high sex drive but it’s unfortunately put me in a position of sex being a form of self harm because most men are low in emotional intelligence and empathy and therefore sex is the only place they know how to care for you. Also men who appreciate my high sex drive don’t appreciate me, they appreciate how desirable THEY feel. With my last ex, most likely a sociopath, I’m now completely turned off sex. He assaulted and verbally abused me during sex twice- the first time I was not ye…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 01:17 PM
16

It takes two to CONNECT, it only takes ONE to SEVER that connection. It takes two is the most fucked up backassward thing to say in regards to relationships I had the exact same thing w my ex. He’d say “we can work on this,” while only I was genuinely working on my self, on my healing, on repairing ruptures (he usually caused). I was overly accountable and at the end he used that statement “it takes two.” Nope. I refused to agree. He did nothing but sit back and watch me flail around while he su…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/21 03:11 AM
22

Hahahahaha a loser I dated very briefly started trying to pull that card on me, telling me his ex was abusive. I told him he’d probably put her in that position to feel crazy. He was getting so so angry at it, utterly convinced he was right she was wrong. Turns out he was the biggest abusive troll and most likely had ASPD. It’s actually starting to scare me how little men in our planet have empathy, and the ones that do… it’s not genuine so much as a “nice guy” act. This is why our world is fall…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:43 PM
22

Oh yeah my ex pulled darvo on me too. Sometimes it’s scary how convinced they are of their “victim hood” bc some Fe.MaLe DARES to stick up for herself. My ex said at the end “we’re both too fragile” when I broke up with him. He tried to flip like it was his idea bc he’s THAT weak. I told him no, “I am not fragile, I am sensitive to others as WELL as myself, and actually care about others. I also stick up for myself when my feelings are hurt. You, on the other hand, only care about YOUR feelings …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:39 PM
29

Same flower_vulva. My feelings and needs were an inconvenience unless they were feeling particularly generous and god forbid I ever knew when those rare crumbs would occur. I was also brainwashed to believe I needed a man in order to be an acceptable woman. The unmarried women in my family are looked down upon as old miserable miserly bitches no one wanted. How about they were ahead of the curve in realizing men only bring you down and give you cancer if you stay long enough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:24 PM
6

Jesus I’m so sorry. That sounds like a nightmare. I’m glad you got out. The sad thing is, it’s so easy to believe these gaslights bc they’re EVERYWHERE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:21 PM
39

Ah yes, the (painfully) patient (obedient) cool girl (pick-me) who is low maintenance (only cares about his needs, she doesn’t have any besides pleasing HIM) trope. His ex was a stuck up (had standards that he couldn’t meet bc he’s an emotionally vacant man-child), abusive (had boundaries) and demanding bitch (assertive woman). He’s SOOO glad he left for this cool girl. Even though in reality: he still misses his ex everyday and wishes the cool girl wasn’t so BORING (obedient) and had more self …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 02:07 PM
881

❤️thank you. Women are being mass scale emotionally abused, 💯 it’s a “cute joke” in the media that the bar is in hell, not a sad shitty reality where women are brainwashed to settle for literal shit crumbs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 04:05 AM
64

I do too. Usually it’s gaslighters, avoidants, or narcissists in denial. My narc ex said he was “walking on eggshells” bc I stuck up for myself when he was demeaning, invalidating, withholding and abusive. If he ever told me he was upset, I listened. But when I was, this was apparently abuse, bc I was not allowed to see him as anything but my God. Assertiveness to an abuser is abuse. Bc they want power. And that’s the point. I think it’s a rare situation when a woman is abusive, bc men already h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/21 12:20 AM
46

The sooner the block the easier and better it is, too. If you get into a relationship with someone you should’ve blocked, that guilty programming comes in even more bc you’re 🤮 bonded to someone who didn’t deserve your energy at all. Once you’ve given them too much attention and time, blocking gets hardddd. When I return to the dating world, I’m going to start blocking before any intimacy occurs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 09:14 PM
5

Sometimes working too much isn’t too sustain their “lies” in cheating, drugs, etc, but it’s also a trauma response and usually indicates an avoidant attachment, and one that isn’t working on it, (unless they clearly communicate they are). Avoidant attachments that are actively avoiding inner work by using external work to numb it, are usually narcissistic if not full blown pd. We all need good work-life balance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/21 04:38 PM
8

Hahahahahhhhhh the pandemic was such a great excuse for privileged man children. My narc ex who sexually abused me said I needed to have more compassion for the trauma he went through working during a pandemic. Dude. I worked through it, too… WHILE dating YOU and being abused by you, fuck off with your “tRaUmA”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:12 PM
2

Yes, exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:09 PM
9

I’d like to just call attention to his idea of trauma that he brought upon himself. Dude you don’t fucking know trauma if that’s your trauma. I think the women you beat off to were my more traumatized than you and your limp tiny rubbed raw wee wee. Also king ?!🤢🤮don’t encourage this loser
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 02:07 PM
22

Whoa didn’t know this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 09:15 PM
62

Oh yeah what a mutual benefit when a person you love and trust can flip on you in one second and degrade you to the point you freeze in the bedroom and are traumatized as they grin ear to ear bc they got off on seeing you dissociate. No it isn’t mutual, even if the guy can make you come, he can also flip a switch and abuse you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 06:09 PM
197

Bukowski was a good writer but a definite narcissist and NVM. This makes me … HOWL… fuck the beat writers they were misogynistic pricks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/21 04:49 PM
7

This reminds me of the second season of Insecure. Dude ghosted then said he is bipolar. Honestly even if it isn’t a lie, ghosting then resurfacing is the reddest of red flags screaming I don’t care about you as much as I care about avoiding any responsibility or confrontation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 09:08 PM
14

Puh lease with his edit too. Men love to elevate themselves by seeming like allies when they’re just as disrespectful. And men love to elevate themselves by comparing them to the scummiest of scum when they’re still fucking scum. It SHOULD make you feel bad about yourself, dude. You’re obviously a creep. If women get uncomfortable around you that’s not an us thing it’s definitely a you thing. The awards make me fucking angry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 08:00 PM
35

Oh my god🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 07:16 PM
10

Yeppppppp it’s a soul destroying thing and can actually become seriously dangerous
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 05:38 PM
38

I read once someone saying “my therapist told me “you don’t have social anxiety, you’re just hanging out w the wrong people.” Sometimes our intuition can turn to paranoia when we ignore red flags. I tend towards rumination bc of past traumas, but when I stay after the first red flag, the overthinking becomes a mainstay in the relationship, along with new flags popping up. I remember reading another poster commenting on paying attention to your own behaviors. If you’re doing a lot of numbing acti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 03:14 PM
26

Jesus I’m sorry you deal with that level of trash man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 04:24 AM
36

Wow wtf. His real gf and family suck. Why tf was his gf ok w it? Was the excuse polyamory?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:37 AM
20

How did you find out he cheated?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/21 01:35 AM
1

No my dog liked him. Or maybe she was trying to keep me from him me by being super cuddly with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 03:42 PM
26

It freaks them out to think they’ll be without a bang maid/ domestic slave/ emotional chew toy/ replacement mommy/therapist. Naturally they project that we are just as worried about being alone. But they don’t put the two together that we don’t want the same things… like… someone to suck the life out of and abuse… we don’t want that, at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 02:28 AM
23

Still working through the trauma he inflicted on me, and trying to be glad about it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:24 AM
41

Ugh. My ex would always say he was a bad dog dad. I didn’t believe him or even know what he meant. Then one day when we were about to get intimate and my dog started to move a little towards us, he said to my dog “don’t you dare move motherfucker.” When he said that I felt sick, and I knew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 12:19 AM
8

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 05:14 PM
285

This is the truth. They can’t be bothered to help you feel more secure so they blame it on your insecurity. Just like they blame your “sensitivity” when they’re actually just insensitive. Just like they blame your “overreaction” when they are under-reacting to their own bs. Just like they blame you for “thinking too much” when they’re just thoughtless. Just like they blame you for “reading into things” when they’re just impulsive losers who don’t read into anything before they act. Just like the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:45 PM
28

Hbo? I’m ashamed of you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 02:39 PM
64

I definitely realized this in the relationship with my ex narcissist. I kept feeling I wasn’t “enough for him.” Then one night I told him I realized it was the opposite. I kept feeling I wasn’t enough for him to put in any real love, care or genuine consistent effort. But really, he wasn’t enough bc he couldn’t give those things. I didn’t want him, I wanted him to want me and I wanted to earn that. But who he was, as he was? 🗑 Of course he did not like that I said the truth. Hurt his fragile fac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/21 04:54 AM
72

This exactly. I dated a covert tool just like this. Pity bait, sob stories, looking back ALL the green flags seemed like something he regurgitated after infuriating his “last potentials.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 01:37 PM
1

You should definitely read wolf in sheep’s clothing, it was so helpful for me to have the tactics defined and clarified. It’s absolutely an ego thing. So gross. I hope you’re healing ok. It’s rough.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 04:10 AM
1

Yup, I’m still trying to unscramble my brain. It was a nightmare. I’m so sorry you had to deal with it, too. I don’t remember much about the relationship fondly. Now that I’m no contact, all I see is the control, manipulation, gaslighting and covert abuse. I never felt safe or heard. I’m glad you’re not working for that boss anymore. The plus of this whole fiasco is we now know very clearly all the different types of hidden manipulation/personality disordered types. We may be less naive, but we’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 03:23 AM
1

I’m wondering if I dated your boss😩 My ex was exactly like this. I ended up taking responsibility for his passive aggressive offenses bc there was no other way to come to a mutual understanding. I didn’t realize until I was out that he really didn’t want mutuality, at all. He wanted confusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 03:10 AM
1

Great point
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:43 PM
30

Narcissist lurkers are most likely downvoting this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 02:22 PM
44

Great tip, needs to be in handbook!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/07/21 05:19 PM
10

Lol I mean I’m not saying it’s actually logical.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:15 PM
180

Honestly… he prob thought that if he said he respected you for not sleeping with him you’d maybe want to sleep with him. That’s how twisted these asshats are. Thinking respect earns them “pussy points” or some bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:47 PM
39

Hahahahahhhhhh onlyeightfingers: the toppiest lols from the top of Mount lol itself. I giggled profusely at this thank you. I may steal it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 04:35 PM
8

Yup. Too much internalized misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:40 PM
9

😂I tried getting some friends into it. It won’t take if they’re still so tolerant if their inner pickme. Learned this the hard way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 11:12 AM
2

So incredibly proud of you. And be so proud of yourself. Your inner child is so grateful you got out of that early, you saved yourself SO much pain and got yourself out before you were trauma bonded, which would’ve no doubt happened w a snake like that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:13 AM
5

Crustaceous ass BITCH. 😂❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:07 AM
12

This is why I do not go to the gym. I work out in the comfort of my home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:06 AM
59

💯And also, they lack self awareness. They’re so focused on trying to pinpoint all the ways that others are less than to feel better about their shitty selves when they could actually be spending that energy investing in themselves. It’s much easier for them to trash others in order to feel better than it is to actually put in effort to grow as humans. They’d rather dehumanize.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 02:00 AM
56

I really wish I could connect w other FDS ladies in my area. We need an app.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 01:59 AM
63

Ugh his expressions are sociopathic
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 09:52 PM
9

I don’t really even understand how that is something a guy remotely even thinks is true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 01:48 AM
25

I wish I’d slapped him and broken up with him then. He’d already hooked me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 09:47 PM
13

Also her gaslighting therapist pisses me tf off I hope op figures out she needs to dump her, too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 06:02 PM
15

Same notochord
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:27 PM
26

Me too please post this🙏🏼I always had a feeling there was something super off and gross when a guy said 50/50 especially if he was higher earning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:27 PM
5

Yeah if it becomes real it is no longer good
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:24 PM
20

Yes please op if you know her name reach out to her, or she’s gonna get into another lvm trap. Htf is she the asshole when he got himself into the whole mess, expected her to co-sign a loan while he had a side chick?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:23 PM
34

They’re the boring ones though. Typically this gross humor or sarcasm is their only personality trait besides fuckboi or nice (to hot girls) guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:15 PM
40

Except it’s not funny, so I’m not laughing, I know humor, people crack up around me, bc I can actually be funny. If ppl need to pretend to laugh so they don’t hurt the fragile ego of the joker, and the joker needs to explain why the jokes are funny, they’re just not funny, dark humor or not. Nothing makes something less funny than having to add a disclaimer or gaslight someone to doubting their sense of humor, gaslighting makes jokes 100 percent even less funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:12 PM
167

When I told my nvm ex I was frightened to walk alone at night because I could be raped or attacked, he said “but you’d enjoy it if you were raped so it wouldn’t really be rape.” My face probably turned white as a ghost and red at the same time and he said “I take that back.” Dude you can’t take shit like that back. If it came out your mouth, that is who you ARE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:07 PM
39

🙏🏼💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:04 PM
36

I dunno lol tbh I dated a nvm who was a total alcoholic addict mess and would absolutely sleep an entire day. He’d take like three ambien and be out. One time it happened when I was WITH HIM. We stayed at a friends and it was 3 pm, and still he would not be roused, he just snored on, and I was his ride. I left him there, and he called so apologetic at like 5 when he realized I was gone🙄. Either way, not a catch. Lying or not. But honestly his idiocy was preferable to the lying narcissistic snake…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 01:37 AM
2

I don’t know if this a joke? Is he trying to be ironic? I’m so confused/disgusted
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:14 AM
16

Ugh yes this was my ex, word for word😞I’m so lucky I got out even though right now I’m still trying to kick the addiction to the trauma bond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:08 AM
5

Yessss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:06 AM
13

Yes my ex also SEEMED conflict avoidant but was actually not REALLY in hindsight. He created the conflict by going on the offense w passive aggressive covert manipulative tactics whenever I attempted to talk with him and find resolution. It was crazy making. In Sheep’s Clothing by George K Simon REALLY illuminated how disordered my ex was. I agree that conflict avoidance is a red flag for violence especially if they are passive aggressively fighting but try to seem like they hAtE dRaMa.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 12:05 AM
13

Oh my god yeah the silent rage is so uncomfortable. They just stare daggers at you like they’re imagining all the violent things they’re doing to you or want to do to you in their head. I think those subtle signs are truly only something you feel when you’re experiencing it. And sometimes they’re super good at hiding it. You have to be adept at reading micro-expressions. They’ll be straight faced or even smiling; then you’ll see a brief judgmental/admonishing glare or a sadistic smirk, before th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 11:59 PM
20

😂💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:36 AM
9

Yes it does
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:05 PM
86

This isn’t FULLY true. Logically it is, but our central nervous system and emotional bodies chemically do not know the difference between oxytocin from a trauma bond (bare minimum w Hoover crumbs sprinkled in) vs oxytocin from the whole cake, esp if we’ve been raised with crumbs. It legitimately feels more painful to be alone after a trauma bond bc we as humans NEED a sense of love, connection, belonging and community. Our logical minds need to be much stronger to resist the pain and detox it, b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 04:52 PM
14

Yes to this. Along those lines, as HVM, if they can’t meet your needs or standards, they admit it, and leave you alone. They don’t gaslight you into lowering your standards to be with them. They admit they’re not the man for you, and let you go to find someone better suited; as opposed to stringing you along bc you meet their needs, even they can’t meet yours. HVM do NOT have transactional romantic relationships. They keep tit for tat in places it belongs and is in plain sight, like their career…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 04:17 PM
8

Yeah every narcissistic emotional vampire I’ve dated was on the apps
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 01:41 PM
12

Yeah I have chronic illness so traveling is doubly stressful. With my nvm ex it was always a nightmare, where a week before the trip my body would speak for me by developing a painful abscess or yeast infection or fever. Even w those issues, no help, no compassion, just selfish cluelessness. Your relationship sounds like a dream. I hope one day to find someone that prioritizes my comfort as opposed to leeching off of me for their own comfort.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:27 AM
9

I really do girl. I really do😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:08 AM
10

Only difference is clothing doesn’t sob it’s soul dry after being sexually assaulted. But I had this realization recently. I get very sad about rejecting objects: like if I don’t want that white dress I’ll feel really sorry I didn’t chose the dress; or if I see a stuffed animal at the store and there’s a ton of one kind, I feel really sad bc no one wants them. I realize it’s bc I’ve been traumatized severely by being treated inhumanely, like a road block or means to an end, by most men, starting…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 12:07 AM
16

Especially when most men aren’t honest in their bio if they put anything in their bio in the first place. I wish I had ESP like my friend does. She can look at a photo of someone and see all of a persons past, current situation, etc. She knew my ex grew up in an alcoholic family and has daddy issues, from one pic. I would swipe on apps still if I had that gift. It’s a red flag detector.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:55 PM
28

Oh my god yeah… my ex had dead eyes. I remember looking at pics on his Facebook and ones I took of him, and being kinda weirded out bc his eyes never matched up with his smile. It was like no one was home despite a shit eating grin. I was shocked when I saw an old photo of him where he was out at a bar socializing w friends and he had those weird dead eyes even though his teeth were bared. It gave me slight chills but I ignored my better instincts bc I hadn’t yet put two and two together of his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:13 PM
15

Pretty sure my ex was all of these😖
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 11:03 PM
121

This is why dating apps are trash
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 08:31 PM
17

My narc ex was into saying “I get stressed about planning dates bc I don’t want to disappoint you.” He was the biggest bullshitter on the planet. Not sure one word out of his mouth was true. Makes me so sad to realize I pitied and empathized with his AnXiEtY. But what’s nuts is in hindsight: he never showed any anxiety, he just knew I had it so he preyed on my ability to empathize. What a total tool.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/07/21 11:08 PM
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