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WomenRBroken Archive

View 11 posts and 133 comments by WomenRBroken on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

No doubt. I was telling me lawyer, if the evidence I have on her were reversed, I’d be in a gulag right now. But because she’s a woman, I have to 3X as much to get the same result.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:28 AM
2

I don’t understand them at all. They take positions on things that have no rational support. It’s a “just cuz” position. Sometimes I think they say shit like that just to see if we let it fly.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/25 03:27 AM
1

It’s good that you can record. Illegal in my state. All I’ve been able to do is keep everything through texting so I have a record.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 01:11 AM
2

WTF. In front of the kids? You know, I know it’s anecdotal but I really feel like women are more likely to do things like that. I moved on three years ago and she hasn’t. To this day she tries to upend any of my activities with the kids, withholds them to travel with me, makes them text her wherever they are with me - as if I’m a total stranger. The amount of work and energy and stress she has to maintain to NOT move on is extraordinary.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/25 01:10 AM
2

19 years. No pension.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:57 AM
4

I have documented ruthlessly including screenshots of texts and uploaded emails, etc. The GAL looks interesting, might be an avenue for me. TY.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:17 AM
3

She makes $180K a year. She even texted me her intent is to live off of me forever, including my social security.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:15 AM
2

Yeah, it’s the lawyer I retained telling me this unfortunately. It’s a no-fault state. My daughter could testify in this state, but after spending five years protecting her from all of this, I can’t see asking her to suddenly become a major part of it in a court.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/25 12:10 AM
1

She does business development in commercial real estate. Marketing by another name. I do safety for different industries.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 06:55 PM
1

I did. Thanks man. The support I’ve gotten from friends (new and old) and family and complete strangers (like Reddit) has helped immensely. Especially with a narcissist who makes it her mission in life to tear me down in every text convo. No exaggeration. Me: “FYI:: The event is at 2pm today so I’ll need to take kids at 1:30pm.” Her: “If you can get your loser fat ass by then, sure.” I mean, we can’t have a single interaction without her using it to attack me. I really think she has a mental hea…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 04:32 PM
3

Horrible with money. I’ve been managing the money since before we were married - so for at least 17 years. She had student loan debt we had to pay off, I had none. And her credit score was horrible. It’s 780 now.
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/25 03:29 PM
3

The parenting plan is the solution I think. She refuses to discuss with me and I tried to have a mediator work with us but she just screeched at the mediator for the whole hour with all the things she hates about me and we made zero progress, and at $250 an hour, they never emailed me for a follow up appointment, and I don’t blame them. Who wants to sit through that again?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 11:18 PM
2

She has the money, I am sure of it. She made $180K last year and had zero expenses. It’s not even that she doesn’t want to pay, it’s that she wants to force ME to pay more than she wants to pay and more than she cares about shorting the kids out of their recital.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 11:09 PM
1

That’s all I’ve been doing. She has put me in this spot several times already where she has the money, but she wants to force me to pay for something because that’s how she operates. It’s not that I don’t want to pay for it, it’s that I’m tired of being FORCED to pay for it. She stopped paying for any of the mortgage so I picked it up, then utilities, then insurance, then prop taxes, then income taxes, etc., so I pay and pay and pay, because it’s for the kids. This is just another opportunity fo…
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/25 11:07 PM
3

Ha. Good point. And yeah, she’s one of those.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 04:47 AM
3

Agree. This has been a lifeboat for the family. My goal is to keep it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/25 04:42 AM
1

Thank you. Yes, I started documenting everything and using AI to build a report of everything with as many details like dates and times that I can (all anonymous). My plan is to bring to a lawyer and have them review it and see where I would stand in a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 07:06 PM
4

I didn’t at the time, to be honest I thought the RVs on either side of us would have called the cops from the screaming the kids were doing. It was the last night of the end of a great RV trip with the kids. And I imagined their mom being hauled off in hand cuffs as their memory of that trip. What sucked was I purposely woke the kids up halfway through the beating hoping that would stop her but it didn’t even slow her down. She attacked me again on Dec 24 last year pushing me backwards to some s…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 06:30 PM
1

It’s funny how expected it SHOULD be and yet I never see it coming.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:54 PM
1

My oldest for sure. She was there when my wife tried to destroy a family trip to CT the night before. She was there when my wife attacked me in the RV on a different trip, punching me in the head until I bled. My oldest has seen it all.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:52 PM
3

Thank you. That triggers been wanting pulling for a while now but it really seems like it has to happen. On the upside, my wife has done so many outrageous things while I tried to hold it together, that the kids see her for what she is now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:50 PM
1

I’m fine being here and doing my own thing. I had a fire last night at my site, music on the speakers, made dinner, read a book, and my kids stopped by to see me. My oldest asking me how I am and that she’s pissed off by her mom. My current position is to just stay and enjoy the site and the campground and be available for my kids when tbey need me like the texting my daughter did to me last night and if they want to stop by. Part of me wants to just crash their events and be myself and annoy th…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:47 PM
1

They can but I’m torn. My presence there will just amplify the weirdness factor, make everyone uncomfortable (the dads and I were friendLY and always got along) - and maybe I should do that because it’s her fault anyway, not mine. On the other hand, if I don’t show up, the kids can just play with their friends and there’s no awkwardness going on. But maybe me not being there IS the awkwardness. Like I said, I’m torn.
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:35 PM
2

My kids wanted to keep the house. They told my wife that. She didn’t care. She wanted to sell it, take her half and take the girls to move in with her boyfriend. The same boyfriend that texts me things like “you’re a punk ass bitch” and “we know who wears the pants.” A man of quality I don’t want my girls around. So she refused to pay any bills, so all I do is work to carry the house, the utilities, prop tax, everything. Two jobs to do it. She keeps her $180,000 income in her pocket. So, that’s …
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/25 05:32 PM
2

I understand. It’s chess not checkers. So stupid it has to be played at all.
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/25 02:59 AM
1

That is a great idea. Gonna do that now. TY.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/25 06:48 PM
3

Unbelievable. I think young men should read these reddit threads about what goes on during divorce/separation/estrangement so they understand more comprehensively, the risks associated. To men specifically, as the risk is so much higher to men.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 03:46 PM
7

Thank you. Worth a shot. I let my tax preparer know I’ll file by paper and we will see what happens.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 07:16 PM
1

I understand. And the caveat. So fn stupid. When we filed together two years ago we had a $12K refund coming but she demanded it all since I didn’t work that year and she said her guy could get her a $60K refund (stupid). So naturally I told her to go use her guy and filed separately. She was willing to leave $12K on the table just to be a bitch. She just doesn’t give a shit what she loses as long as my life is harder. I’ll end up spending $2K on a lawyer to get back $6K or some shit. She’s so s…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 06:20 PM
1

Seems the only way. The $6K I gotta cough up for taxes now would have been a nice retainer for a lawyer. I gotta find the money and get one on retainer and go talk to them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 05:38 PM
3

All your ideas are good. I’d like to be able to buy her out, but the equity in the house is so high (California and I bought during the bubble burst), it would be like paying mortgages on two CA homes. What I was thinking is a deal where I keep the house and keep paying the mortgage and when the kids move out and on, sell it and she gets her equity then (but wouldn’t be paying the mortgage that whole time so she could afford to go live with Replacement Dad). I like your other idea where we just …
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:35 PM
3

We all live in the house together. However that translates legally to “support” I don’t know. I pay all household bills, mortgage, utilities, etc., out of my $120K. Comes to about $70,000 a year. She pays $2K a year for their dance tuition and another $1K probably for Disney Passes. Out of her $180K income. According to Grok, if she pays $1 in support for the kids and I pay $119,999 in support for the kids, she gets to claim both in her taxes as she has the higher AGI. In the tie breaker metrics…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:31 PM
1

Understand. Thanks for posting though. I appreciate everyone’s input.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:26 PM
7

How do I get a downvote for this? Makes no sense.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:25 PM
4

It amazes me. My STBXW turned into the most vicious spiteful bitch overnight. Steals from me every chance she gets. I have flowers from her other men in my house every month. My kids see that (I’m glad). My kids see she doesn’t pay the mortgage or utilities or anything else (I’m glad). In its own way, all living in the same house is showing my kids who their mom really is. They see it. They mention it sometimes. And I’m glad. Why are women like that? Like yours too? Their rational mind it just t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:25 PM
3

Agree
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:21 PM
9

I’m sure that was bullshit. How did she “forget” it wasn’t her year. I’m sure my wife’s accountant did the same, “Just take both, it’s fine.”
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 04:21 PM
3

Yes. Many of the decisions I make are to purposely show that she is not cooperating, not interested in collaboration, doesn’t care what benefits the kids or not, shows her greed and anger and vengeance. So when the time comes, the story of “her” is so repulsive to most people, including my kids, that all anyone rational can do is see how she really is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:18 AM
7

She would utterly collapse if she had to manage the finances. She’s looking for a man to basically replace me. For 17 years I’ve managed all the finance, done all the dishes, house cleaning, laundry, car and house maintenance. She tried to tell me that all her girlfriends have men that pay for everything and do all the housework too. Somehow, I don’t think that’s true.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:02 AM
1

She was employed all of 2024. She is only recently unemployed in 2025.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 03:00 AM
2

I want to hear from men that have already gone through similar situations so it’s the right thread for that. I need to know what’s in front of me. Also, I have paid for two therapy sessions for both of us, very expensive, and she refuses to pay for any of them. So if I want to continue therapy with her it’ll have to be on my dime.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:59 AM
3

We all live in the same house so we both have them all the time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/25 02:57 AM
3

Mine did the same. I was the problem. She was afraid of me. I was abusive. Never hit her or the kids but she’s attacked me three times (with blood drawn all three). Once in front of the kids. Poisoned the well with all my kids friends parents. Stole $4K off my credit card I had to fight to get back from the card company. Stole $800 in airline tickets. $6,000 in taxes. Basically tries to cost me as much money as possible. She’s a bad, bad person. And this has been going on for three years. Point …
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 09:21 PM
4

No decree. Not divorced. Doesn’t matter anyway. Just finished researching it and even though 90% of my $120k income pays for all household expenses and she pays less than 5% of her $180k income on the kids (dance tuition and Disney passes) because she has the higher AGI, she gets to claim both according to the IRS tie breaker rules. I’m fucked because I make less even though I pay all the bills. Great system.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 08:43 PM
1

We are financially separated. All of 2024. She has her account and her income and I have my account and my income. I can show that all household costs came from my account. Everything. That has to mean something, no? Otherwise it’s me spending $90,000 of my $120k paying all the bills and her spending $5,000 of her $180k on the kids dance tuition and Disney passes and somehow she gets to claim both kids?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:57 PM
2

It seems paper filing is the way to go and I claim one. The IRS will flag it and I believe if they see I’m paying for 100% of the household costs the tie breaker guidelines would point to us splitting the child deductions.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:25 PM
2

I make $120K. Long story. Nutshell is my daughters begged to keep the house. She said we could only keep the house if Dad pays for all of it. So that’s what Dad is doing. She wanted to force me to sell, so she could get her half of the equity and move in with her boyfriend who had a place 15 mins away and she was gonna take the kids with her. Basically replace their dad with some other guy and “move on.” Anyway, by paying 100% the kids can stay in the house. But that means she tries to find ever…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:23 PM
1

I agree. There are some good ideas so far on this thread so I am going to pursue these options.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:20 PM
1

For damn sure.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:19 PM
2

She makes more money. I’m at $120K and she’s at $180K (she was just let go last month so NEXT year should be interesting). But I pay all the bills, her whole income is disposable. Since I was unemployed for a year (2023) she refused to pay for anything for all of 2024. And even up to know she hasn’t paid and she just lost her job so now I get to pay full freight all this year too.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 07:19 PM
0

And aren’t we always yelled at about the supposed patriarchy? Where the hell is that? I don’t see one.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:50 PM
1

Fn insane. What a bloated, biased, corrupted system.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:49 PM
2

No man should. Absolutely treacherous.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:48 PM
2

There’s no custody decree as we are still married. This is basically a normal married couple living in a house with their two kids. We file separately because she won’t sign anything that involves me. Since she pocketed her $180K salary last year while I paid 100% of the bills, she couldn’t take any deductions. I’m sure she paid out the ass, so she took BOTH kids deductions to reduce the payment.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:48 PM
1

Agree. I don’t have a lot of faith in the one I am currently using. I was filing as head of household as I pay 100% of the mortgage, prop tax, home insurance, all utilities, home repairs and upgrades, etc. She basically pockets her $180K salary, and by pocket I mean blows it shopping, a new car, drinking and partying. Refuses means two years ago I filed jointly and she waited to the last minute to sign. It would create a $12,000 refund. I had not worked that year (one year unemployed as I starte…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:45 PM
2

That must have felt so shadenfreude though.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:38 PM
0

Long story.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:37 PM
2

Omg. What a fn nightmare. That just shouldn’t be possible and the amount of effort to correct it is insane.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:37 PM
2

No. Not separated.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/25 06:36 PM
2

Thank you! Appreciate the help.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 02:33 PM
1

I agree. My kids and I are very close. We do A LOT together and we always have fun. Currently my oldest is into horror movies. Ever since Halloween. We are moving through a list of 40 movies we have to see, doing about 2 a week, a little every single night. It’s been a tradition for the past, almost two months. We aren’t divorced, we still all live in the same house, but we are 100% financially separated, for over a year. I pay for everything except the kids dance tuition, Disney passes, the mai…
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/25 12:48 AM
1

That’s benefit on top of benefit. Haha. TY. I used to have girl - friends, and I forgot how cool girls can be just as friends to hang out with. You make a good point.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 02:02 AM
3

That’s happening. I tried the polite/calm/peaceful/reason/rational/collaborative approach for two years and I swear to God, it was like it made her a jackal that can smell weakness and death. It seemed to make her pit bull jaw lock down even harder and didn’t slow her down on the insults, complaints, bullshit even one tiny bit. Not an inch. So, my patience is over, and I call it like I see it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/25 02:00 AM
5

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 06:09 PM
2

Thank you. And there really is a control factor isn’t there? Mine would wait until the last second, and I’m being literal, to sign some legal document we needed for the kids or the house or something after asking her a dozen times over weeks. It’s a control thing. And of course BEFORE we were estranged I’d just sign her name and she didn’t care. I handled all that stuff. If I did that now, she’d be so happy to try and nail me with that with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:24 PM
1

I agree. Control is a major component I think.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:22 PM
2

Fck. Sorry for ALL of that. They screech at us about the patriarchy - and yet thousands of posts and threads say otherwise. Mine also kept the kids in our bed. The first one is 12 now and never sleeps in her bed. For 10 years she slept in the master bedroom with my STBXW. I had the “talks” with my wife about the importance of getting them to stay in their own beds, how it was impacting our sex life as well, etc., she’d try for a week and give in. I couldn’t sleep in the bed with them as they mov…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:21 PM
2

Thank you. Couldn’t agree more.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:12 PM
1

Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:12 PM
4

Notes: ⁠For sure she is burying me in front of my kids friends parents. I know this for a fact. ⁠I will visit paternal alienation thread. ⁠Call her out on the drinking and anything else she’s doing that I think is inappropriate. ⁠I can DM you if I have questions. Thank you. P.S. I did try that move, inviting the dads of the friends of my daughter and both texted back in agreement. One dad met us at a boba shop and he and I shot the shit while the daughters hung out. Second invite died. Never hea…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:10 PM
1

Notes: For sure she is burying me in front of my kids friends parents. I know this for a fact. I will visit paternal alienation thread. Call her out on the drinking and anything else she’s doing that I think is inappropriate. I can DM you if I have questions. Thank you. P.S. I did try that move, inviting the dads of the friends of my daughter and both texted back in agreement. One dad met us at a boba shop and he and I shot the shit while the daughters hung out. Second invite died. Never heard b…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:09 PM
2

TY. :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:02 PM
4

Thank you. It really helps to hear confirmation after being undertowed and trolled by her for so long. And yes, mine is better. My daughter has even told me that their mom asks them why they listen to me and do what I ask but won’t with her. I will carry on. :)
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 04:01 PM
2

Ex-grump. Haha. I like that. Will do.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 03:56 PM
3

I really appreciate the advice. As I read how you described it, I can see how those actions would be modeling for them what to seek in men as they grow older. Makes complete sense. That girlfriend’s advice continues to help men (like me) long after she told it to you. As far as friends, I probably should have clarified in my post. I don’t have MANY friends, never have, but I have a few. One of them I go to the range with once a month or so, or we meetup for a beer and to catch up on shop talk. I…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 03:31 PM
8

I think this is likely it - her idea of momming to the extent of developing relationships, is that 99% of her planned activities are group based - her and other moms bringing their kids to a location where the moms party and the kids play with each other. Hence her statement that kids only want to hang out with kids. She does very little 1:1 quality time with them. She insists on having Disney passports so she can coordinate with other Disney moms to group out at Disney. Same with dance, so she …
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 02:31 AM
2

Thank you, yes I’ve heard of this phenomenon, long time ago before I had kids, mostly women making kids their “emotional tampon” as I’ve heard it called. For sure I don’t do that. I basically act like my STBXW doesn’t exist, and I just plan things and take the kids places. Unfortunately, I have to communicate with her to collaborate and she makes sure every time is an opportunity to be bitchy about it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/25 02:27 AM
2

No, not an addict. My only vice is beer and that’s 0-5 a week depending on the kind of week I’m having. Nothing more than parking tickets. No other variables that would be relevant. My daughters and I get along infamously and I spend time with them everyday. While my wife takes them to “events” where other moms are present so they can drink together I focus on experiences where it’s just me and them; museums, science centers, even just driving and listening to music (I let them pick the tracks m…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 07:03 PM
1

Thank you. She sure is.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:50 PM
1

Appreciated. It definitely feels like getting ganged up on. I never understood the advice I’ve passively read before when I wasn’t in a situation where it applied of; “take care of yourself first” and “strengthen your friend and family ties” and such. But boy do I understand it now. It would be so much harder mentally to navigate this without friends and family offering support and advice.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:49 PM
1

First off - WTF. I mean, I’m the first to say to people, “there must be an app for that” when we are troubleshooting something, but damn, that website is impressive in making fake texts. Thanks for that. I’ve gone back and forth between STBXW and “Estranged” - not sure why I picked latter over former. I do remember thinking to use a word that meant we are not divorced yet so I didn’t have to write that out, but STBXW sends that message. No idea. Just an oversight.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 06:46 PM
3

Definitely feels like men are supposed to be treated like some kind of utilitarian asset to the family and should be permanently self-sacrificing. Other women would post on social media a photo of their husband repairing something or building something and brag about how much they love how he takes care of the family. My wife would make fun of those women. I even asked her why she doesn’t do that with me and all the things I do, and she said it’s just lame and weird. Thanks for the support and t…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 05:35 PM
1

They do.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 03:52 PM
6

We have a school families event coming up, a traditional RV meet over the weekend that that dad will be at. I will ask him if he said that. I am very curious. If he didn’t, I want to see his reaction when he realizes his wife is playing games with mine against me. I know all the moms and dads very well. We have been “friends” for at least five or six years. They all come this annual RV meetup, we’ve had bonfires together, talked work and guns and economy and jobs and family and school together d…
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 03:40 PM
1

ROFL. I love that. I’m gonna use it.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 01:08 AM
2

Yeah I know. But it was absurdities all the way down with this request so it was just another one added to the pile.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/25 01:07 AM
5

I so wish one of these dads would call me and tell me what they’re hearing. I bet it is the most amazing shit that never happened that anyone has ever heard. We did a therapy session once, together, and to the therapist she lied and said I cancelled her car insurance and didn’t tell anyone, screeching “the car his kids are in!” So I opened my phone and showed the therapist my texts to her that I just had our insurance broker start a new insurance policy for her (so I’m not paying for it) and the…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:37 PM
2

Mine wants $5K a month in child support (we’re not divorced, she just wants me to pay that) and she wants an additional $5K a month for one year for the year I was unemployed two years ago.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:29 PM
4

Absolutely. When this started, she refused to pay for anything. Mortgage, prop tax, home owners insurance, car insurance, all utilities, toll road charges, dish soap, laundry soap, paper towels, TP, soap….everything. All of that to bankrupt us, force the home sale and split the equity so she can move in with her boyfriend and my kids. The only thing stopping that is me paying for ALL of it. So while she is “stuck” with me in this house, she gets her $180K annual salary with no expenses, so she i…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 11:00 PM
1

This is definitely what’s happening and has been happening for over 3 years now.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:59 PM
1

Damn that would be something. I mean, how obsessed would they have to be to engage in grade school shit over something so stupid.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:30 PM
2

I’m sure. I get nasty texts from her new boyfriend as well that tells me what she’s telling others and it’s just garbage. I don’t respond, but he likes to text me after an argument. Guess she runs to him and vomits her complaints on him.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:30 PM
1

That’s helpful. I’ll do that.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:27 PM
2

Younger is 7. The friends sleeping over would be my older daughter’s age. She’s a hot mess. A control freak. Wouldn’t buy dog food just to force me to buy it even when the kids were getting scared the dog would starve and they were feeding him from their dinner plates. So I had to go buy the dog food so the kids wouldn’t panic. She’s just not interested in paying for anything, no matter what.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:25 PM
4

I am. It’s funny, I’m a much calmer person now that we’re not together. To the point that there was a raging argument when she was outting me to her mom so her mom would hate me where she was yelling and screeching and I was very quiet and just answering questions and correcting her lies and my daughter finally said to my wife, “I’m more likely to believe the one that’s calm and not screaming.”
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 09:19 PM
2

That’s a good idea. No drunk parents around my kids and yes, that would kill it. The mom party night is what they care about, but they like to couch it as “momming” with “quality time with the children.”
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 07:58 PM
3

Agree.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 07:28 PM
3

Yeah, she’s got a little cadre of the moms that support what I believe is a borderline personality disorder problem. I think the two husbands of the two moms are hen pecked and just go along to get along. But there is one mom that drinks like my wife and shrews like my wife and they are inseparable and insufferable.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 07:16 PM
3

My default is to collaborate. Her default is to get what she wants. That causes these encounters. I want my daughter to have her sleepover but I’m not getting kicked out of my house either.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 07:13 PM
4

Thanks, and yeah, she does.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 06:55 PM
5

Man, I wish I had that. It’s been over three years since we became estranged and you’d think the shit fell apart yesterday, every day. Life would be exponentially better if she was just willing to move forward. Glad to know it IS possible, per your experience.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 06:37 PM
10

What a shit tactic to take.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 05:21 PM
1

Court order I’d assume means a side product of a divorce which hasn’t happened and neither of us has filed. To add more to the story, after we discussed what I did, we all went on an amazing RV trip for two months. When we came back, we were in a place where we wanted to fix it. And I did, at least. For about six months I thought we were doing good working it out, when I started feeling like she was seeing someone. Sure enough, caught her fucking some guy. She said she’d stop. Caught her again f…
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/25 09:07 PM
2

My stbxw attacked me multiple times, even in front of the kids. I didn’t call the police because I knew they’d haul her away and I didn’t want the kids to experience that. I wish I had. I’m glad you did call them, and it was the right thing to do and will definitely be better in the long run. You didn’t trade a future with no problems (if you hadn’t called) for a future WITH problems (you called) - you traded one future with problems for a different future with different problems - except the fu…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 07:23 PM
2

Damn. In the list of “important things” I don’t think that’s even an honorable mention.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 04:15 AM
2

Dust on the sofa. That happened? Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 04:04 AM
2

“walking on eggshells” <- that’s the hallmark. When you reach this point you know you’re out of the pan into the fire. There’s a book with that title because that’s the daily undercurrent for those of us that travel down that road. Always waiting for the next bomb to drop and never knowing where and when it’ll happen and for what reason. Complete unpredictability. And over time, it creates what I would consider a version of PTSD. Even now, if I text her something that needs to get done, somethin…
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 04:03 AM
1

I would love that. She’s lazy and doesn’t know how to do anything. She would also be the type to let a smoke alarm beep until the battery completely died. It must have felt so good to say no about the mirrors. It’s been 17 years of me managing all the money and bills, getting her credit score in high 700s, all laundry, dishes, housekeeping, all home maintenance and repairs, all vehicle repairs. 2-3 days a week she just reheats her moms food for herself and the kids. Otherwise it’s frozen bags an…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 05:13 PM
1

Not divorced, financially seperated but all still living in the same house. Doing it for the kids, not her, but I understand your point. In her mind, she is “stuck” as her bf has a condo nearby and her goal, since she told me, was for her and the kids to either move in with him, or for me to leave the current house (since the house is for the kids) and she will live with them there, presumably with the bf visiting or eventually moving in. She basically said she wants to just start over with a di…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 04:31 PM
2

I like this approach. Asking forces her to explain it, or not.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 02:07 AM
1

I make $120 and she makes $180. I opened my own bank account and started deposit all my income there and asking her for half of the costs for mortgage, utilities, etc. She said no. In other words, she was fine with losing the house our kids are in, and forcing a sale to split the equity. She couldn’t give a shit about how bad the kids were asking to keep the house. She simply refused to pay. I ended up paying everything so the kids have stability. She still makes $180K and lives her best life. P…
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/25 01:31 AM
2

Thank you. Good ideas. I asked again last week if she was gonna start to pay her half and no reply to that. Just replied later about something else. Now we have a $6K home repair due to dry rot and I asked if she is going to pay for half of that with me. My bet is she won’t. Really curious what a judge will think of me being the one paying for everything including home repairs.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 08:19 PM
1

Appreciated. It’s amazing how long I just tried to adapt to it. Figured this is what they mean when they say “marriage is hard.”
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/25 08:17 PM
1

I remember getting kicked to the “office” which was a storage room in the house after she had our first kid. Lived out of a couple boxes and a suitcase for a couple years in that room before I just started sleeping on the bed my daughter would use in a few years. During her maternity leave I was still managing everything, we had two incomes but I handled the finances and bill paying, dishes, laundry, house cleaning, car repairs, home repairs, all her meals, and anything she asked for help on whi…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 05:36 PM
1

I concur with reestablishing friendships and contacts. In many cases, maybe not yours, certain types of women purposefully wedge between men and their friends or family or old life in general to isolate the man. Happened to me. They do that because friendships, family, and your old life can help you THAT MUCH, as a heat shield for reentry. For awhile I did not tell them what was happening because I was creating, I guess, a “safe” circle of my old life to get away from my new hellish life. Eventu…
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/25 04:21 PM
3

Here’s a hoot. I booked a trip with all of us five months in advance to go back home for the kids to see the grandparents, experience NYC at Xmas, see a small town Xmas parade and stay in an actual New England bread and breakfast. Wife was invited and she bought a ticket. THE NIGHT BEFORE the trip, early morning flight, she said she wasn’t going and proceeded to lock me out of grandmas house where the kids were for the day, when I tried to pick them up to go home and pack, while she told grandma…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:20 PM
1

The ONLY reason I haven’t filed is because she will use that against me by telling the kids, “I didn’t want a divorce, YOUR DAD DID, and he’s the one that filed for it.” And everything that happens after that, like losing the house since I can’t afford to buy her out, the kids will blame on me. Which is exactly what I would say to them if she filed, which, in addition to her rock star lifestyle right now, is why she probably hasn’t filed.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 06:16 PM
1

No. The bf is in the closet. They share a place nearby so when the kids are in school or I am taking them to a museum or something she goes to their shared place or hangs out with him. It’s been a long road of fighting, well before kids, especially when she drinks. She’s physically attacked me multiple times, drawing blood. We were fighting every 2-3 months, a bad fight - and I know this because it was so often I started tracking it. She would get drunk, get mad about random insignificant things…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/25 05:59 PM
4

We are separated, two kids, and she makes $180K a year to my $120K, so her first move was to stop paying for anything. Refused to go half on the mortgage, home insurance, property taxes, water, electric, trash, solar panel loan, HELOC loan, or any of the credit card debt we had at the time. She wanted to bankrupt us so we’d have to sell the house, she could get her half of the equity in the divorce and sale, and move in with her new boyfriend in a condo one or both of them recently acquired, wit…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 08:38 PM
1

We both date, but I have only one I’ve ever been interested in, the antithesis of what this one has put me through, but she’s been scrolling through at least three that I know of. The latest one, at least since summer of last year likes to text me nasty shit from burner phones within hours of her and I getting into an argument. His grammar and spelling are atrocious. He attacks me personally. I don’t reply because the whole thing is juvenile. But clearly she’s picked a winner and I don’t want my…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 06:11 AM
1

Agree. We’re basically mortal enemies at war with a North Korean style cease fire. That’s never gonna change. But if my kids can get older and get out - it’s been four years already - then I’ll get out too and she can live out the rest of her bitter angry life.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 06:06 AM
1

If I don’t, the house goes into foreclosure, we are forced to sell, she gets her 50% of a big payout in equity, and my daughters spend 50% of their time in her new asshole boyfriends condo.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 05:56 AM
1

Appreciate that. Yeah, it was just me making that choice. She tried to bankrupt us by cutting me off from her income in our combined account. Opened her own account and she has a pre-tax income of about $180,000 going there. She was hoping my new job wasn’t paying enough to cover the bills but it does, barely. I have a side hustle to help with extra spending. But I am paying all housing, insurance, and utility bills and all debt payments. That way the kids stay in the same house. What she WANTED…
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/25 03:09 AM
2

I would celebrate the day that she’s dropped from this circle of hens she’s surrounded herself with. That must have felt good, to know that happened. How did your kids react to meeting your girlfriend and how old were they? Similar here. She has no problem lying about me. I finally got her to a couples therapy session and she would lie to the therapist in front of me. So I would pull up the truth on my phone and she just wouldn’t respond. Then ten minutes later she’d lie again and I’d have to sh…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 06:35 PM
2

Interesting. That’s the observation I’ve been working on. She has ONE mom in particular that can drink as much as my wife does. They have become inseparable. “Play dates” are really just opportunities for the moms (and always with this mom) to drink and party, the kids hanging out together in the same spot is just the excuse. Beach, different homes, bowling, skating, always places they can all drink together. And this particular mom is extra vicious, so I’m thinking they’re feeding off of and dr…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:55 PM
1

Agree on Karma. She’s good though. Had me convinced for a long long time. I think she has NPD, and one of their traits is their social skills. They’re excellent at socializing and building consensus. If they heard my side of what I’ve seen and what she’s done, they’d absolutely change their opinion - but I’m never gonna get the chance to tell them - but anyone that wants to judge me based on one side of the story doesn’t deserve care or respect from me anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:51 PM
1

I wonder if it’s more of a female thing than a male thing. For years I never complained about her to anyone. Even now I don’t call her names like she calls me. I didnt burn her down to our friends on my side like she did. I didnt talk shit on her to the kids like she does. I don’t rage text her like she has for years. It’s like she has a mental illness.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:48 PM
1

It’s arguable, I’ve heard the debate, but I was trying to keep the house for the kids, minimize the disruption. 95% of the time we just don’t talk to each other, communication is strictly related to schedules and planning around the kids. I plan all my own activities with them and she plans all hers. They’re still in the same schools, same friends. I also don’t want them spending time with her new boyfriend who likes to text me from burner phones and verbally attack me. Don’t want the kids near …
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:46 PM
1

Thank you. I just started doing that, archiving photos and texts and emails…what a process, but I’m sure all worth it when it comes time.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:39 PM
1

Thank you. Lol. I was laughing out loud when I read the kicker. It seems they don’t even realize how absurd what they’re saying can look to others. Thanks. I needed that laugh.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 05:31 PM
2

My wife decided to tell the kids on her own. She did this the night before a huge family trip for Christmas to go back and visit my sick parents, go to NYC and visit my brother and his wife. Kids were super excited to go. I was picking up the whole tab except for my wife’s plane ticket (she works, good money). Her first move the night before the flight was to tell me she didn’t have a ticket (she was supposed to buy one and SW confirmed she had one when I called them a month prior. I also saw th…
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 04:19 PM
1

Are you still married? Live together? I’m assuming it gets easier when the kids are older, like post 18 and they’re out on their own with friends, making their own plans, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/25 03:32 PM
2

Victimizing the woman and demonizing the man is spot on. My stbxw poisoned the well with all of my kids friends parents to get sympathy and support and to prevent me from going to school events where all these parents would be. Some of them were pretty good friends.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/24 10:00 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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