Backstory, my wife has attacked me twice, once in front of the kids and drawn blood. To stop a trip with the kids she told them everything she hates about me the night before the trip. I’m 99% sure she is a covert narcissist, been with her 17 years and she checks all the boxes.

Just got the first email back from her lawyer (a woman) to my lawyer. First of all, the lawyer wrote a LONG email, attacking me, accusing me, very angry and emotional. From the lawyer.

Is that normal? Anyway, it was re: the first pass on the holiday schedule and so far she’s added all kinds of stipulations; to replace the seatbelts in my ‘91 truck (she says they’re unsafe) otherwise can’t take my kids in it, they’re not allowed to ride in the back or on the tailgate or on dirt roads (basically all from a camping trip last year where I let them sit in the back as we drove through shallow little creeks to get to the campsite). All of their school events and extracurricular schedules supersede anything I want to plan if there is a conflict. And naturally she packs their schedule with extracurricular stuff.

Any extracurricular stuff has to be approved by both people (that’s because I was paying for their horse riding lessons) so she will say no to that, but she knows I would never say no to any activity the girls want to try.

Max travel time is five days, which makes taking my kids back east too short. All her family is here so she doesn’t need five days. She wants Valentines Day and it trumps President Days weekend which is like 6 of the next 10 years.

My daughters and I, about 2-3 times a year, skip their first couple classes at school and have breakfast together. They’re A students. She wants that to stop (even though she’s had them skip school to go to Disneyland a few times) so she wants no interference in their school schedule.

She wants to approve anything my oldest asks me to help her with. For example, my daughter wanted me to create a resume for her to submit to local theaters for casting calls. My wife said that sending pictures and information to complete strangers is unacceptable and risks their safety. So she wants a way to stop me from helping her in things like that.

There’s more, all sounding similar. Interfering somehow with things I have done with them in the past.