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Yougotmetripping Archive

View 12 posts and 178 comments by Yougotmetripping on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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5

I really am starting to struggle with this myself. I am not wholly RP, I do follow some things that seem to work for me. But yes, I feel inauthentic sometimes and it's really feeling overwhelming now. I may be in a completely different scenario than others in that I am trying to improve my marriage after infidelity. I am feeling like I'm duct taping myself more and more to the point I don't know if I can say anything I truly feel anymore. I guess this post was more of a vent. But you're right in…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/23 04:54 AM
4

It's in a man's nature to think financially. It's a reason why they are providers. Your biological clock is ticking for sure. You are at greater risk now for down syndrome etc. The longer you leave it the higher the risk. And as the previous poster mentioned, you may even have problems conceiving and there is no real right time to have a baby. I had my 4th at 34 and was considered a "geriatric pregnancy". I think you need to think long and hard about the pros of waiting.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 11:13 PM
3

At home dates work too. When the kids are asleep, light a candle at the dinner table and eat without them, or set up a tent or picnic in the living room. Little things like this can be a form of connection too.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/23 04:13 AM
13

Good luck. It's super hard but one day just watch him and observe him. Think about how lucky you are to be able to be at home with your children because of him
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 12:24 PM
35

As he is working to provide for you, maybe you can look at it that way. He might not have to work as hard if it was just him. He is working to provide for you and your family. I know it's hard because you want him to SHOW you that he's putting you first but if you think of it like the above you'll appreciate him so much more and in turn respect him more and from that will come what you need. When it comes to him not messaging you when he's out late instead of asking, when he does come home tell …
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 12:18 PM
7

I actually think this is true. While there is legal marriages, if he truly wants to be with you long term and has no intention of leaving why does it matter? If it means something to OP then it should mean something to him, too.
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 06:59 AM
33

You need to be honest to yourself and to him about what you actually want. You say marriage is important to you and you also say he doesn't want to get married. He's already told you. If it's a relationship worth pursuing, it might be an idea to let him know you are interested in marriage. At your age it would be a waste to be with someone for even a year and then come back to the same issue of not being married. If, spiritually, marriage means something to you, I'd question if he is spiritually…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/23 05:03 AM
2

I know plenty of older women who regret not having children younger. They're 50 and their kids are still going through primary school. I'll be 50 and my youngest will be 16. I cannot tell you the blessing it is for me to have a child of my own that grew inside me and has a mix of me and my love. If you feel like you never ever want to have children then don't. But if you feel like one day you might then I personally suggest doing it now. I would hate to have another child when I am my current ag…
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/23 01:47 AM
15

I think he might just be trying to make sure you like him for those attributes he doesn't like about himself. If he is otherwise lovely and you'd like to pursue a relationship, I would deliberately give compliments when they are due. Not out of the blue for no reason. But showing appreciation when you notice it. This would help you in turn because if you do it for him he will think it's something you value and is encouraged to do the same for you. Realistically the world is harsh. To be someone'…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/23 02:49 AM
2

I have rounder features although my nose does have a droop when I smile widely. It's something that makes me look sharp I suppose? I can pull off a red lip with certain types of clothing. I am short and so I am also petite so that also I guess makes me more girly than womanly. Please don't take to heart what this man has said
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 10:18 AM
1

It's good you know you've stepped over the line and you can improve. Maybe it would be ideal that when you are feeling this way you go out of your way to do some self care for yourself instead of focusing on another?
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 07:29 AM
7

Absolutely. Only certain women suit a darker eye and red lips. No make up could work but it is very individual. Pinks on light skin look lovely and nudes on darker skin look nice in my opinion. I personally avoid all eye shadow. I am tan and so black eye-liner and mascara suit me. I do a wing if I'm feeling particularly ugly that day otherwise it's tinted moisturiser, nude lips, black eye-liner and mascara. I think a lot of makeup can make girls look too dramatic.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 05:01 AM
61

Well no second date. What a horrendous thing to say. There is something to be said for tact. Please don't worry about your looks because of what he's said. He's shown to be rude and callous. It's almost a blessing he's said this as his obvious his opinions mean little given his nature. In terms of looking more soft you can do this through clothing and lighter nude or pinky shades of makeup. Nothing dramatic on the eyes or lips, especially if you have filler.
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 04:52 AM
6

You've said on more than one occasion in your post that he sees you as a friend. I think of the scenarios you've listed it is A and C that are most likely occurring. It will be hard for you because you see him in a different light. But I really believe he sees you only as a friend. Some may argue this is why it is better males and females are not in friendships. I want to add, I'd be very sad to know that a work mate who liked my partner was trying to pull him away. It is more respectful if you …
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/23 02:24 AM
3

Further complexities arise when it comes to mothering children with your partner. She is not there. She has a choice to make now. With regard to your off hand comment regarding handing over my husband (🤢) my comment waa that divorced men often want children and she has options
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 09:18 PM
38

You've said an active lifestyle is a huge part of who you are. Having been married for 20 years to a partner I am not compatible with (in other ways) I can tell you it will be very very hard for you to not become resentful if this is the lifestyle you wish to have or your partner to do with you unbegrudgingly. I too come from an extremely compassionate loving family. I call my siblings stupid in a joking way but never to anyone other then them. And it's always made in jest and with a hug or chee…
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 04:43 AM
1

I think it depends on what outcome you're looking for. If you want to look a bit fuller but not go up more than one cup size then fat transfer can be suitable. If you feel your breasts are small it's possible only implants can fix this. I would question how much fat you implant into the breast as well because only a portion of it will take and you don't want to end up with necrosis if it's over filled and doesn't have a blood supply. I breastfed 4 children (each for 2 years at a time minimum) an…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/23 12:11 AM
19

I get my nails done and I never used to. I have full laser all over my body so I'm hairless. I have my hair changed every couple of months. I've also had a fat transfer to have more even breasts. Not that my breasts bothered him, but for my own confidence which is what he likes. He doesn't like fake lips even though I really want to do them and becauae he doesn't like them I won't do it. Having said all of this if it was something I didn't want to do I wouldn't do it. Extensions require upkeep. …
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 07:51 AM
4

That's so wonderful
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 03:07 AM
3

This one I love! I've read it and it's my guide 100%
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 03:07 AM
5

I think I am in the same boat
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 02:06 AM
2

Oh I like this. I haven't read surrendered wife. If I'm honest I find the title triggering lol
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/23 02:05 AM
1

He was acutely unwell - this is more of an ongoing issue. It was just an example of his behaviour.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/23 01:05 AM
3

I have 4 children and I don't have any money that is just mine. It's easy when you're not a mother and you move away. You move on with your life a lot easier. When you're older and you have children, you are tied to your partner in so many ways. It's been a long 20 years of marriage for us. Something needs to happen to shock the marriage for it to change I think.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/23 04:42 AM
2

Absolutely men who unfortunately grew up without their fathers can be lovely too. It's an excuse I make for his behaviour, not to say all men are like this :) I don't think it was my husband with the porn addiction. He has done many things (lol) but that wasn't it. My husband has been unfaithful.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/23 04:34 AM
1

This is really lovely and so very true. She was able to uphold her end of the bargain because she is secure in her marriage. I'd imagine if you were not as admirable she would not be able to do this.
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/23 02:34 AM
2

You had no way of knowing the complexities of my marriage and I can only tell you my story. The question regarding how to address talking to an ex was purely hypothetical. This is not something that has happened in our relationship, however cheating, only fans, accepting unsolicited photos under the guise of "they were just drunk, it meant nothing" while continuing to talk to said person is something that has happened a handful of times in our marriage. I'm played off as being insecure and jealo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/23 01:38 AM
2

I excuse these spats as I know he had a troubled childhood without his father. I make excuses as if he doesn't know better and I try not to take it personally. But it does feel like walking on eggshells.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:58 PM
3

I would absolutely question it. But I am also female and I think it's in our nature to be more empathetic. I do feel he lacks empathy and I've made excuses for it in the past. I'll continue cleaning up my side of the street and if no improvements come to the relationship I'll seriously have to consider leaving. It cannot be one sided anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:53 PM
3

This is something I think about too 😔
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:51 PM
2

I'm 42, so yes I am quite old. Lol. I do have some fond memories but nothing extreme. It's so sad to admit this.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:50 PM
2

We've gone through a lot together. This one moment I've let known is a very small snippet of our whole marriage. There's been infidelity, lies, betrayal and a whole host of issues in the 20 years we have been together. Having only recently adopted RP teachings I've come to acknowledge and accept where I have gone wrong and start the process of repair. This included seeking therapy for myself. At one point in our marriage we were separated. The agreement was that we get couples counselling and hi…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:38 PM
1

Had I seen your post a year ago, my energy to help the relationship improve would be exponential. I have come to a stall. Of course I'd like to remain married. The changes required for our relationship can't be one sided and yes of course there needs to be an element of care. I question if my husband cares; or even cares enough. At this very second in time I am looking for self care until I am ready to combat what lies ahead.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:02 PM
2

Thank you for this really constructive feedback. I'll have a better read and see what I can implement. For now, you're right i need to consider if this is worth fighting for.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 10:19 PM
3

I'm so sorry you and your mother had to go through this. My husband in our 20 years of marriage hasn't gotten physical to the point I've been hurt. I've been contemplating to stay or leave for a long time. As we have children it makes it difficult too
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 09:06 PM
1

I don't doubt I've come here for validation. I do feel like I've struggled on my own for a fair amount of time to get to a point now where I feel numb. Unfortunately I don't feel my husband is receptive to change so I need to make that choice for myself. Thank you for your input. How do you suggest I confront him?
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 09:04 PM
6

It's paying off. You're an asset to this sub ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 09:00 PM
5

I think it's gotten to the point where to avoid a fight I just shut up and don't say anything. It's not worth giving a piece of my mind or thought to it. And then I look elsewhere for the kindness I seek. I can't find it in him so I'll go somewhere else. My parents are extremely loving and so this dynamic with my husband doesn't suit me. Someone else may find it comforting or lovely but for me maybe we're just not matched. I think I long for something he just can't give me.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 08:56 PM
3

I love that you're such the bookworm lol! Thank you. I've actually started reading this one already. Perhaps I saw it from one of your previous comments on another post? 😜🤔
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 08:54 PM
11

When I think back before our marriage there were signs that he was this way. I remember making a passing comment about something and he said "no shit, sherlock". Never in my life had I been spoken to that way. I look at it now and realise I didn't take it into consideration before accepting his proposal. We married around 10 months after meeting. We've been married for 20 years. I am 1 year older than him. That ping ping noise is my favourite so I completely understand what you are saying. The t…
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 08:49 PM
3

Wow, thank you 😘
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 01:31 PM
11

He refuses therapy. You're right, he doesn't respect me. Thank you for this clarification
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 01:26 PM
2

This is interesting. Thank you for your perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 11:43 AM
2

Yes. 100%. Because it meant he valued what he wanted over his partner. He has shown to be selfish when it suited him.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/23 01:03 AM
2

Meh. I'm not plastering myself on instagram. I don't really mind what I look like in photos. I'm confident I am not unattractive. It's not worth my time worrying about. I'm 42 and I wasted my years thinking I looked bad. I look back now at when I was younger and don't know why I even worried. I got asked for ID to enter a casino last year. A police officer stopped me and asked for my licence. He thought I was on my provisionals (under 25). I'm sure it he saw me in a photo he would think again lo…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 11:28 AM
1

Thank you for suggesting this!
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 03:27 AM
3

I don't think I look particularly bad in real life. I get compliments and looks etc
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/23 01:17 AM
3

I am not photogenic. At all. I look so ugly as a still. Lol
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/23 11:46 PM
5

When men are stressed sometimes sex isn't as important (it just takes a step back). While I completely understand your need to be desired, it might be time you looked after yourself. I don't mean masturbation. Maybe it's time for self care. Instead of smothering your husband, look for ways to make yourself feel better in spite of him. This might mean getting your hair style changed, or going out with friends for coffee, taking up a new hobby, finding a part time job, etc. Feeling desired is so i…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/23 11:41 PM
1

This. Or keto at least.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/23 03:18 AM
1

My husband is the same. It irritates me because if he can make off the cuff comments to other people to inflate their ego or give him his time, he should be able to do it for me, too if not just to make me happy. (so I totally understand how this makes you feel!) I've learned not to read into it. Focusing on myself makes me happy. My therapist used to tell me if I don't get what I need from him to do it for myself. Maybe your partner is like mine. The more time I spend doing my own thing the mor…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/23 03:16 AM
5

Are you married? If not, I would take it as if he's saying it's going to be 50/50. But you won't know for sure without asking.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 09:16 AM
3

You're so welcome. I know what you mean about the happy streak too lol! You care that your husband feels off and that's really endearing.
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 05:38 AM
3

Okay just so I understand, You felt like he went against your wishes and in doing so you felt disrespected by his actions. You felt embarrassed and ashamed because the time had lapsed. you clearly voiced how you felt after it happened and he understood how you felt like that he expressed guilt and remorse for doing it he acknowledged that he fails to be considerate I think you handled this very well. I think you expressed to him why you didn't want to mention something and he went against your w…
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 05:21 AM
3

Could you give an example of something that you want to bring up?
/r/RedPillWomen24/08/23 04:52 AM
1

Thanks. Didn't realise you'd edited the mod post :) didn't see any other comments
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 05:55 PM
1

This makes no sense. The whole thread is about helping OP deal with the feelings of inadequacy. She asked a question to me on her own post and I answered.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 05:42 PM
-2

My husband cheated on me with women with figures he preferred over mine. I got through it by learning to love myself. And it's cliche and it's really hard but I promise you it's the only thing that will make you truly happy. Your husband likes slim frames? But what do those women he's looking at have to offer over you? You love and adore your husband. You intimately know more about him than any one else. My reaction at first was of upset obviously. But slowly I realised that these women he likes…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 11:56 AM
20

I am not my husbands type at all. He likes women with a booty and that's not me. I've learned that I can offer him more than the shape of my body and me focusing on that ends in me becoming resentful and questioning his love for me. It's not worth your time thinking about. I would suggest doing loads of self care to love YOURSELF the way you are. Nothing is more attractive than confidence.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 11:50 AM
8

This is my husband. There is something else bothering him unrelated to you. You need self care at this time.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 11:00 AM
1

I agree about the flirting. That's just how he is. It used to upset me but being upset about it is being upset at a part that is who I love! I more mentioned is as a way of describing how this other girl took it the wrong way :) bu you're right the photos were out of line and he really shouldn't have continued to speak with her. I'm glad that there is no double standard here really.
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 05:34 AM
1

He blocked her after telling me she sent it weeks ago. It was only after he told me and I said it was bizarre and him getting defensive that he blocked her without my knowledge. It wasn't she sent me a nude and now I'll block her. I told him. The woman that propersitioned me was drunk at the time. Obviously I did not pursue it and told her I was not interested. I told my husband immediately that it happened and he immediately told me to stop talking to her which I did. On the other hand, this wo…
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 01:52 AM
2

Thank you for this perspective. It makes so much sense!
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/23 12:11 AM
2

You're so welcome. It's good to know you're thinking ahead ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 08:34 AM
10

You've agreed to marry and you're right it's inevitable. Now would be the time to do it. I would mention to your man that you'd like to make sure that you're both being looked after and you'd like to know his thoughts on providing - don't just go straight into money maybe start off talking about children if you want them, if you're a stay at home mum or if you're expected to work and what happens if you're at home does it mean that he provides all finances, talk about household chores, religion,…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 08:20 AM
2

That's a really interesting comment. It's true I didn't voluntarily stop seeing her! But the moment he asked I blocked her. No complaint no discussion (when I told him about the behaviour of this girl being bizarre I was met with defensiveness. Obviously I duck taped) And it's not so much digging anymore. I was more curious about double standards and if the aforementioned would be a double standard to this community or is it that my husband can do somwthing like this, but as a wife I couldn't?
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 04:37 AM
2

I just read the blurb for this and so excited to read it. Thanks for the recommendation!
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 03:35 AM
5

You're asking this community? I think we all pretty much breathe Laura Doyle lol
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 12:37 AM
12

This is a LDR and as much as I would like to think it's exclusive, I highly doubt it. Men have physical needs. You say he is emotionally intelligent, but what you've expressed shows otherwise. The idea of him demanding you call him Sir does not come naturally to you as you don't see him in this light. It sounds less like a relationship and more like master/slave. If you're not comfortable with that, move on. He's a lot older than you and I fear you're just being taken for a ride.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 12:19 AM
1

While I myself don't work, I am responsible for the household. Do you and your partner both work full time? Are the expenses in the household shared between your partner and yourself? Have ypu agreed to do everything in the house and provide financially? Because I am fortunate to be a stay at home mum my responsibility is the home - cooking, cleaning, kids etc. But, my husband also knows it's overwhelming and tells me to get a cleaner. Not because I am incapable, but because he can see that I wa…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/23 12:58 AM
9

I hope you see your worth ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 10:19 AM
1

I lost 5kgs in a month on keto and I am slim. If you're bigger you lose more in the beginning (water weight included). However I feel this is really insensitive of your partner to suggest you need to lose weight. If you are not ideal for him he shouldn't be pursuing you. You are worth more than that too, OP. Please consider if he is like this pre marriage what will he be like post marriage? What he is suggesting is not leadership. It's control. Edit: spelling.
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 08:51 AM
9

It's interesting to see this post. I also feel the MRP is disrespectful toward women. My husband is not necessarily red pilled and I actually am grateful for that. I feel like that community is misogynistic and treat women like meat. It is hugely unfair. I use RP as a way to get what I want and maybe that's manipulative. I do think men are easily swayed by their partners opinions, it's just knowing how to go about it. And that's what I do. For a long time I was unhappy in my marriage and it's on…
/r/RedPillWomen20/08/23 07:29 AM
3

If the OPs husband is anything like mine, doing this would make him defensive like I'm just joking you're so bloody sensitive etc.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 09:24 PM
4

It's so hard to relinquish control when you feel like you know you're capable. But can I say this.. I found it so hard in the beginning, but now I realise it means I have to think less and enjoy life more! Decisions for the family are not up to me. And now even if my children ask me for something and I say I'll have to talk to dad, whatever choice he makes is what goes and it means that I don't have to think about the pros and cons (mostly). Once you let go, you'll love it!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 12:15 PM
5

Okay.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 12:11 PM
8

I don't recommend this. This can come across really masculine!
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 09:56 AM
6

Well, when he's very serious a lot of what he says and the way he says things is really harsh. He'll conflate things like saying "you always leave stuff in the sink, you don't appreciate the massive house I bought for you" for example. I'll always just agree "aww you're right! I'll make sure the dishes are done" (I don't get up to do it right away I know he's just having a whinge cos something else is bothering him, not the dishes or him feeling I am ungrateful.) Disagreeing with him when he's i…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 09:22 AM
5

He won't change. My husband is exactly like this, he either doesn't take my seriously or he is ultra serious - there is no in-between. I've worked my way around this but do wish sometimes I didn't have to worry.
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/23 02:35 AM
2

This might sound counter intuitive and maybe I'm wrong.. But it sounds like you're the nice girl that people are walking all over. The people pleaser. Sometimes holding back can make you come across as a woman who shouldn't be messed with. If it's happening everywhere you go you are the common denominator.
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 04:56 AM
1

If this was a scenario between your husband and yourself, and you said "oh no, dear I was just saying it's frustrating to me" or something like that? Or is that emasculating? Hrm..
/r/RedPillWomen18/08/23 02:56 AM
3

I used to feel manipulative absolutely. Given the relationship issues we've had, for him to step up like this means a lot to me.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 10:26 PM
2

100%! This was so well put.
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/23 12:48 PM
1

I used to feel thw same about other beautiful women and it's hard. But slowly I realised there is only one me. She might be amazing in looks but really you only have a good 20 years of your life where you look so amazing and youthful. Don't waste your years worrying about how others look and look inward instead. Go to the gym because you want to be healthy and strong.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 09:51 PM
1

❤️❤️❤️
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 02:36 AM
1

This is really insightful. He won't go to counselling. He has told me he won't change but in the same sentence tells me if he's not happy with progress then leave. He's told me I am not a priority. It's him, kids, his family, then me. He told me I am not his family. He sends me Insta posts that relate to being toxic as if to say that's me. I'm fixing my side of the street and I give it til the end of the year to see any change in him. Thank you for listening and responding and being there.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 01:51 AM
2

This was 16 years ago and he has made sure I've never forgotten a out it. He calls me toxic when I ask him if he misses me etc. I've since read Laura Doyle and spend a lot of time in self care. Though I still want a chivalrous man who will make me feel valued and loved, it's almost like I have to take what I get. He told me not to work after children. He tells me he made wealth inspite of me. And while I know that this isn't a place to berate my husband, these are all facts.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 01:23 AM
2

I don't even think you realise how these words have impacted me. Thank you for saying all of this. ❤️
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 12:37 AM
2

This is interesting. I had not swallowed the pill until recently. Had I known better I would not have married him. I was secure before we married and just assumed it would all work out. I was wrong.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 12:10 AM
2

I do agree with you to a point. Yes, he felt I was disrespectful and so I did have to back off. But in doing so I also had to lower myself. I also had to trust his judgement without input to my feelings. Equally, he could have listened to my concerns and we could have worked it out together. I don't think in my situation it was wanting to win a game. It was obvious concern.
/r/RedPillWomen16/08/23 12:08 AM
3

Wow thank you. All this time I thought I was just overreacting and wondered why I couldn't just get over it.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 10:48 PM
2

I think the reason was that the right home would come to us. Some of the land he had suggested had poor building envelopes. I felt we had time to earn more and buy better. The housing market sky-rocketed though. And he blames me for us not getting in sooner, which is why I say he was right. This hit me hard. I researched a lot when it came to parenting in order to be the best parent I could. I did everything I felt was right for our children. I did everything in the house and when I struggled an…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 10:46 PM
14

Please really consider if this is what you want from a man. Please. You cannot change him. It will continue to drain you.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 10:47 AM
13

I met my husband when I was 19. He was 18. I had been working since I was 14 and while we were dating I would provide him with money. I bought him a futon and a TV, a microwave and I would often fill his fridge with food. We married after 8 months of being together. When we were first married my husband was in debt. I come from a wealthy family and so I had a better understanding of wealth than my husband. I worked while he worked and we both saved money to purchase a home. I was stubborn and wo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 09:32 AM
25

I realised the way I treated my husband was emasculating. Lookrd at the reasons why he cheated on me etc. I realised how it made him feel and how I was so badly contributing to it
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 08:07 AM
17

What is the point of this?
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 12:08 PM
28

Let's see how he would have taken it. "our anniversary is coming up I really want to get her something special she can adorn herself in. Oh I know I'll get her a beautiful necklace so when she wears it she can be reminded how much she means to me and she will look so beautiful. I wonder where to get it from? Oh I know a place. I'll choose this one she'll look amazing and she will love it. I can't wait to give it to her. I can't wait to see her face. My darling wife" "man, I've had such a shit da…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/23 03:33 AM
2

It's so nice to see you're both willingly making adjustments for each other.
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 03:24 AM
1

So beautiful
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 02:04 AM
1

It's good you can express yourself without name calling
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 02:03 AM
1

I love this even more :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/08/23 12:23 AM
1

This is so sweet! It's really endearing to hear you have such a strong relationship
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/23 11:39 PM
3

I love this. Sometimes when we speak in person it can come across in the wrong tone as well. My husband takes issue with the way I say things and I have found that voicing myself through text seems easier. It's also easier for me because I give him the benefit of the doubt when I read his messages; I think of him talking to me in a calmer tone. Thank you for sharing this with me
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/23 11:39 PM
1

He has cheated multiple times. First time was opportunity. The other times it was paid. The last time he was a sugar daddy. I asked multiple times about a certain person to which he confessed about what she actually was. With the sugar baby, that was the worst for me. It was 6 months. Others were sprinkled over maybe 6 years. Being traditional meant that sex before marriage or commitment was a big no for me. During our courtship he cheated on me with a girl once. She messaged me and that's how I…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/23 09:08 AM
2

He does call me endearing names. Thank you. Maybe that's his way of saying it
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/23 08:58 AM
0

I obviously don't want to directly ask him to say it, that wasn't my question. Of course I want him to mean it.
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/23 06:31 AM
1

All the best.
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/23 02:25 AM
1

It's apparent he wasn't serious about you then. For your own sake and your own well being - leave him alone. There is nothing he needs from you now. You come being a single mother as well. Do you really feel if he couldn't commit then he'd be willing to let go of a relationship he is happy in now and to commit to you and your son? Please. I'm sure he has a lot more dignity than that, and so should you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/23 09:32 PM
2

No. I'm talking about infidelity.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/23 03:11 AM
3

You broke it off with him because you didn't see his potential. He grew without you. It hurts to hear this, I'm sure.. But you can't just say you want him back now after you left him and he grew to be better. He became who he is in spite of you. It's better for you to move on. Appreciate who he is now and be happy that he has found happiness. He doesn't need you in his life and I'm really sad to say that he seems to have found a woman who meets all of his needs.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/23 01:16 AM
20

Do you only want to get back with him because he's familiar and becuase you're not having much luck dating? It seems unfair to uproot his happiness now because you're not happy.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/23 04:45 AM
23

Empowered Wife, Laura Doyle. I know I keep pushing this book but it's really helped me. I say "I want" more often than I used to. I even say things like "whatever you think" when I really don't know or don't really mind either way. Saying ouch when something hurts me without direct blame. It's all so helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/23 01:43 AM
2

Rose prick Tom Ford
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/23 08:03 AM
6

How do you feel about midi skirts and boots? Leather ones are nice with black boots. You can wear warmth underneath?
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/23 06:54 AM
0

Oh I just didn't put in those parts 😉
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 08:58 PM
2

Amazing. Thank you so much for explaining this. Moving forward it makes sense to talk this way. Thank you thank you thank you
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/23 02:03 AM
9

Any critisism, even when it's just him and I, he gets defensive. I've slowly tried to make it less about him and focus on myself when I feel upset about something. I feel like I take on so much in the way of trying to understand him; but he makes little effort to understand me? I give him the benefit of the doubt. I think in this case I was upset and so that's why it came out that way you're right. I see how he might feel. I didn't know if he moved them or not because the child told me she think…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/23 11:07 AM
1

Thank you for explaining this. I had spoken to him away from anyone :( if I had gone behind his back and put the eggs back he may have considered that disrespectful because hw made the choice to move them? I told him I wanted to move them back before I did it.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/23 11:02 AM
2

Thank you. I really needed this.
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/23 08:37 AM
1

Don't worry darling? I don't know some of it applies I think.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/23 05:33 AM
2

IF and very low carb did it for me. I never felt hungry, my brain fog lifted and I had a lot more energy. Carbs really do turn to sugar in the body. Your body doesn't need sugar.
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 09:59 PM
2

I actually did end up starting the Empowered Wife and it's been awesome thank you
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/23 03:48 AM
2

You will! If you feel bad that you doubted him, tell him. Being in a previous toxic relationship will bring a whole lot of triggers. Try to remember he is not your previous relationships. He is his own person with a very different upbringing and family life and values etc. Even though it was last minute doesn't mean she can't quickly grab the book and make her way there etc. If you think about it she could have easily have not taken the book and deliberately organised to give it to him on her ow…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/23 08:47 AM
17

The fact that he is not on his own with her is great! It could be that he had organised to catch up and his mate that has a thing for her asked if she could tag along. It's a positive sign she took the opportunity to give back the book as well. I get that you can feel insecure because she's pretty, but your boyfriend CHOSE you. Take comfort in that. When I feel insecure about what my husband is doing I deliberately find something that fills my bucket. Maybe I'll watch a movie with popcorn and a …
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/23 07:14 AM
1

Love it!!
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/23 12:55 AM
3

It really is time for you to do some self care. It's clear he's moved on and maybe every now and again he wonders about you but he's made his choice. You dwelling on it or pleading with him only makes you look silly. Guys don't want desperate women. If you can't get over him, do whatever you can to improve yourself. Take a short course into how to be a receptionist or something like that and work. Meet new people, enjoy your life. When he sees you're fun and enjoying yourself maybe he will want …
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:22 PM
2

Aww you're so welcome! It's great to hear it's working for you too
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:13 PM
3

Sending you loads of loving vibes!
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:12 PM
2

Aww it's great that your life has changed for the better! I really gotta start listening to the podcasts lol
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:11 PM
1

Yay! How awesome for you 💜
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:10 PM
2

Whatever you think can come across really dismissive, you're right! I've started asking my husband "what do you think?" when he asks me what I want to do about certain things. I do feel like sometimes I have to treat him like an injured puppy at the moment but honestly it's getting me the results I need to feel secure so it's working?!
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:08 PM
6

I don't disagree. However when your marriage is in such shambles that everything you've tried hasn't worked, backing off completely can make a massive difference. Often times because there is so much resentment, things that seem insignificant like telling him he missed an exit can set off the most pathetic arguments. I think eventually you'd be able to do that again but to keep the peace for now, let him take ultimate control while you take care of yourself. At least that's my personal thought
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 10:05 PM
1

Omgggggg
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/23 04:02 AM
4

I'm sorry you are sad about what happened. 20 hours is such a long time and really does show how tired he must have been!
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 01:19 PM
1

I'm a total grump when someone wakes me. When I first got married I was so surprised at how sweet and calm my husband was when I woke him in the night. I'm so aggressive when I'm woken!
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 01:18 PM
14

Perhaps he genuinely was really tired and wanted to sleep but felt like you wanted to talk? Maybe try to express to him that you were upset by it?
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 08:58 AM
1

Of course, if you'd like to know more please PM me, I'd just rather not make it all public is all! I'm more than happy to help if you want knowledge
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/23 12:21 AM
1

I'd prefer not to specify as this is my main account! I think I've already said too much
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:31 AM
1

Yeah he also has passive investments and occasionally he will trade but nothing like a full time or even part time job at the moment
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:26 AM
1

He is wealthy now.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:24 AM
1

He does not have a job. He doesn't have any income coming in. No pay check as such etc. He is wealthy with investments too I suppose
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:23 AM
1

I would say that he provides for his family. He doesn't have an income.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:22 AM
1

Not at the moment, no. He sometimes does trading but nothing consistent
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 09:21 AM
2

the large majority of that I was a stay at home mum so I get what he is saying that I didn't earn it. I guess he thinks that being a stay at home mum isn't worth the stress he felt while working. Not that he works now.. I'm left with the housework and parentingl.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 08:55 AM
7

I like to think I supported my husband into wealth. When we got married he was in debt. I worked to help pay off the debt. I bought his first TV before we were married. I'd fill his fridge with food when we were not yet married. He worked at the same place I worked and didn't think he would be able to get a different job in the company. I did his resume and applied for him. He had ended up getting the job, and was paid twice as much He got a better paying job and came into some money. He now loo…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 08:49 AM
3

You make a valid point!
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 08:36 AM
7

I'd like to add: Emotionally available/mature Wealthy
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 02:59 AM
2

This is so constructive thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 02:46 AM
3

My husband unfortunately is not responsive to communication and expressing my needs. It's been a battle for me for some time but I've come to not take it personally and find work arounds. Even me making comments like "I love when you do this" etc are seen as a critisism to him. You're right in everything you've said. There I no point being childish.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 02:19 AM
10

You're so right. I think I have been up in his business and focusing less on me. Time for a new hair style and an manicure I think!
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 01:17 AM
7

This is a fantastic idea! I never thought to do that
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/23 01:11 AM
4

Could you mention how much you love when he does initiate? Initiate yourself and say "I love the way you turn me on when you xyz" or "you make me feel so desired when you xyz" hinting about him initiating..
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/23 11:54 AM
1

I love this!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 06:41 AM
2

I'm so pleased you're happy with your progress! I'm sure the confidence in that helps with attractiveness too
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 06:41 AM
1

That's a good point. There is a lot that controls what signifies beauty too
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 06:40 AM
2

I love this. She sounds so earthy!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 04:50 AM
2

Confidence does seem to be key. I am a lot older now, but when I look back at my photos when I was younger I think damn I was actually pretty!
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 04:42 AM
3

Don't feel cringe! I asked the question and you answered it beautifully! You should be able to say whether you're objectively attractive or not. You sound a lot like my 16 year old daughter. I'm starting to notice people looking more at her than they do at me (I'm older of course) particularly men both her age and older. She doesn't notice it cos she's still a bit if a ditz lol Do you think most high value women have the same level and above attractiveness as you?
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 04:41 AM
2

How are you going to meet this person who is better, being in a RP relationship? You won't be going out on your own to bars or clubs and you won't be on dating sites?
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 01:01 AM
7

He's giving you all the room in the world to leave because he doesn't care about you. He's using you because you are a doormat. He values himself and if you don't like it you can leave. There is no compromise or consideration of your needs. You're trying to defend him because you love him, but at every turn it becomes more and more apparent how much he doesn't love you. I'm sorry to be harsh. I am in a similar situation where my partner doesn't love me. Please consider yourself because he isn't …
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/23 12:53 AM
1

I'm a fair bit older now, but I look young. I've been approached even while wearing my wedding rings. The type of attention I get is usually asking to buy me a drink while I'm with my friends. Sometimes while I'm with my girl friends guys will make compliments or try to talk to me. I don't mind the attention though I'm married, my husband thinks it's nice I get compliments for my own self esteem. It does depend on what you're wearing and who you're with though. If I'm at the casino with my husba…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 06:15 AM
5

Is that what he's doing? Fathering children? Or using this apparent drive as an excuse because he has an inability to control himself? I'm a Muslim woman. In my religion, yes a man can have up to 4 wives. But there are conditions and requirements for this that very very few men can uphold. Nowhere in my religion are they allowed to commit adultery, lest they be stoned to death or condemned to hell. I'm not trying to belittle you. You've just been forced to believe something that is completely un…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 02:56 AM
5

"has to".. What in the brainwashing has he said to you??
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/23 12:08 AM
6

He's using RP as a way to get you to comply with cheating. He is telling you "hey it's just sex" when you've voiced concern and that you are struggling to be okay with this.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 09:35 PM
16

I have 4 children by him. He has threatened to hide money from the government to not pay child support. He told me not to work while we had children and so I haven't had a job in 16 years. I don't know how I would cope financially. I'm going to be ruined. You're right I know he doesn't care about me. Actions speak so loudly. But I am now hijacking this beautiful redditors thread. Sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 09:00 AM
15

It's been 3 years and I still have not healed. I'm trying to keep my marriage going but I have lost trust in my husband. I do not trust him and the love I previously may have had for him is quickly diminishing. I struggle daily. He is no receptive to my saying "I wish this" or "It makes me feel so good when you xyz" etc. I'm tired. The Icing on the cake was when he told me he tested positive to hep B 2 years ago and didn't tell me. I read that you are also Muslim alhamdulillah. I've done istikha…
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 08:53 AM
47

I'm a Muslim with a husband who has cheated multiple times. I agreed to an open relationship as we were young when we were married and he did not "experience being with other women" (we were young and naive). It is something I completely regret as I feel that when we closed the marriage he continued believing that it wasn't as bad to sleep with other women and so continued cheating to the point he was a sugar daddy to another ex-Muslim woman behind my back. Please really consider this. I cannot …
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 05:41 AM
24

Best. Response. Ever.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 01:28 AM
30

Rpm do not lack self control? You're being manipulated. I'm sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 01:27 AM
2

Have there been times when it's been a long intimate conversation? Like the conversation flowed easily and you spoke for a long time perhaps an hour or so? I ask because I HATE talking on the phone. I'll avoid it if I can. I will deliberately not pick up a call and message to say "oh sorry I missed your call" etc. Do you think this could be your boyfriend as well? Phone calls in general might seem laborious?
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/23 01:23 AM
2

This. Trust your own instincts.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 11:00 AM
1

Denying reality is gaslighting. OP knew he said something and he continuously denied it.
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 01:46 AM
0

Firstly, I commend you for breastfeeding at this age. Thats amazing and the bond between mother and child during this stage is very strong. Please be proud of what you are doing for your child. Secondly, the fact that he denied saying anything repeatedly and you knew he said something is borderline gaslighting and hence is very disrespectful. Thirdly, to answer your question about why you feel annoyed he has a lease on an apartment for you both could be your gut telling you you need to walk away…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/23 12:46 AM
5

100% agree. OP has every right to be upset. It's very reasonable to be upset.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 07:05 AM
13

Just because he says something doesn't make it true. No high value woman who has been spoken for would go on a trip with another man, even if husband was "okay with it".
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 07:04 AM
3

I think as a female it is so easy to get wrapped up in emotion and want to text to vent and let them know our upset. But this can work against you. Let yourself calm down. Don't text again about thr issue. If he wants to text about it, tell him you want to talk about it with him and you just need some space. When he comes home he will already know you're upset. Personally, I'd wait for him to bring it up. Withhold any sort or serving or support, but still be kind; it won't help to be mean, screa…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 06:35 AM
16

While I understand the "yeah, I'd be okay with it" sentiment when push came to shove if you actually went on a trip with a male friend, he would protest. It's not becoming of any female to travel with a taken other unless there has been a proper conversation about it. Maybe I am wrong, but OP, you were under the impression that this other female would be accompanying him as a +1 to the wedding and no discussion was made by your boyfriend that he would be having a holiday with her. I would be ver…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 05:44 AM
1

While I understand the "yeah, I'd be okay with it" sentiment when push came to shove if you actually went on a trip with a male friend, he would protest. It's not becoming of any female to travel with a taken other unless there has been a proper conversation about it. Maybe I am wrong, but OP, you were under the impression that this other female would be accompanying him as a +1 to the wedding and no discussion was made by your boyfriend that he would be having a holiday with her. I would be ver…
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/23 05:37 AM
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