How does this community feel about double standards? Do double standards exist?

Deliaallmylife · 2023-08-22T12:46:27+00:00

I cannot imagine being so desperate that I sent pics like that to a married man. How tacky.

My thoughts on double standards are that we are all different people and so it is sometimes necessary to have different strategies and expectations. These may come down to being dictionary definition double standards but if it works and people are getting what they want then it's not worth more thought.

Example: my older kid would get upset and we taught her to take deep breaths to calm herself. She would breathe with us and calm down and that was that. The younger will look at you, take a deep breath and scream louder. She gets sent to her room. So one kid gets punished for tantrums and the other gets to be calmed down. Double standard but borne out of the fact that they respond differently.

Money is handled differently with different friends, so is who does the visiting.

I think you have to meet people where they are. If your man isn't meeting you where you are (in this case, uncomfortable with his continued association with that woman) then that's an issue. If he takes a little whining and a few days to give you what you need, I wouldn't let it fuss me. Some people take longer to come to a decision or they need to feel like it's their decision or whatever goes on in our individual brains.

Tldr: the idea of a double standard forgets that we all have different personalities and styles that work for us

sicrm · 2023-08-22T04:27:20+00:00

he was right about cutting off your friend.

I was going to say he was wrong about not blocking his friend without having to talk to you but it sounds like you didn’t cut your friend off on your own either.

so if you want him to admit he’s wrong not blocking his friend before a discussion, it’d be fair for you to do the same.

both of them are done though, so you have to ask yourself if digging into it more is really worth it.

bunny_mama_ · 2023-08-23T03:06:24+00:00

I'm glad to hear that he blocked her! I wouldn't say he was wrong, depending on how he handled the situation. The photos are WAY over the line and the relationship should definitely have been cut from that moment on -- but the flirtation beforehand, especially considering he does it without meaning to, doesn't seem over the line. My husband is very outgoing and makes people feel very close and comfortable with him quickly and I think that can rub off on women (it certainly did for me, lol) but I don't hold that against him and I have just learned over the years not to let jealousy get the better of me.

Edit: I can afford to not be jealous because I 100% trust my husband and I know he loves me and wouldn't cheat on me. I don't know your personal relationship but I am operating under the assumption that that also applies to your marriage.

AutoModerator · 2023-08-22T04:12:34+00:00

Title: How does this community feel about double standards? Do double standards exist?

Full text: I'm curious to know what others think. I'll give an example of what I believe to have been a double standard in my marriage

My husband has a friend he knew in high school. They didn't talk for years but when their school reunion was to occur, my husband arranged it with her as she is an event organiser. They spoke regularly during that time. My husband and I were not in a good place in our marriage and I'm certain he spoke with her about it.

Fast forward a couple of years and he doesn't talk with her much. She had asked him to fly his helicopter to some races she was going to as she was a guest and he agreed. Now my husband is really flirty and he doesn't mean to be. He will sing songs in other languages to women or even just English songs when he's feeling happy.

She mistook this as him "serenading" her. She told him she liked him and sent him photos of her pu**y.

I told my husband this was bizarre and if it were flipped he would ask me why I am still talking to him knowing he likes me. Now this has happened with a previous female friend I had who has propersitioned me about a threesome with her husband. My husband did not want me talking to her anymore and so I had to cut the friendship.

Do you think my husband continuing speaking with this girl is a double standard?

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InevitableKiwi5776 · 2023-08-22T16:00:18+00:00

I don’t really think about fairness in a relationship, but rather how does something make us feel and is it contributing to our shared goals. Like if something is technically “fair” but it makes you feel bad, isn’t it still a problem?

Like if your husband had not asked you to stop communicating with your friend, wouldn’t you still want him to stop talking to this woman anyway?

VasiliyZaitzev · 2023-08-23T01:50:20+00:00

Do you think my husband continuing speaking with this girl is a double standard?

At what point did he block her? By which I mean, how long after the nudes?

The only difference I see is that he blocked this woman voluntarily and you had to be told to block the other one who proposed a threeway (um, it didn't occur to your friend that you are married?).

It seems to me that both of you need to set better/more clear boundaries with others outside of your relationship. If I were your husband I would want to understand how it was that your friend felt comfortable proposing a threeway with you (particularly if another guy rather than your husband was to be involved).

Title	How does this community feel about double standards? Do double standards exist?
Author	Yougotmetripping
Upvotes	5
Comments	11
Date	August 22, 2023 4:12 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/15xugwx/how_does_this_community_feel_about_double/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/how-does-this-community-feel-about-double.1229331 https://theredarchive.com/post/1229331

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