~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | The historical myth of Male privilegeThanks for the book recommendations! The whole "one man can impregnate any number of women" thing never made sense as anything other than an abstract idea. This works when controlling animal populations but in the real world human societies generally plan around equal sex ratios, and people are far more useful than just reproducing. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/07/26 12:41 AM |
| 2 | Common media constantly tries to conflate men as a group with their worst denominators to try to impose collective guilt.Deciding what's predatory or not can cross over into sex shaming or prejudice if what's being done shouldn't be reasonably offensive or threatening. For example, giving someone a compliment on the street and moving on is not a form of harassment. It's not severe or repeated from an individual person, and it's reasonable to expect social interaction in a public place. I remember watching the famous walking around NYC as a woman video and I was astounded...that 10 hours of walking around strange n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Common media constantly tries to conflate men as a group with their worst denominators to try to impose collective guilt.Got her away from everyone somewhere private I'm going to look at the study for context. This sounds extraordinarily poorly worded at best. Consensual sex is meant to be private. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 04:24 PM |
| 11 | Men following other men's advices because you "don't ask a fish how to fish" is pretty stupideWomen give great dating advice. The problem is that women give dating advice for the wrong stage of dating. Had me in the first half, but yeah. So many advice articles and books are like "Communicate with your partner." and I'm like "Okay, where do I get one?" My parents only ever taught me first-date chivalry (i.e. "Hold doors open for her.") Nobody ever taught me how to get a date. Having any kind of romance or intimacy is talked about in the same terms as fusion power: it is always perpetuall… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 04:22 PM |
| 2 | Most men give their attention so freely to women that it doesn't mean anything to them anymore.I know plenty of attractive women, and they don’t sit around being luxuriously boring because Maybe those are your friends, but so many women online don't have any real bio. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/26 03:00 PM |
| 7 | A man who can effortlessly get sex is exalted. A man who desires to have sex but is unsuccessful is seen as "entitled "I don't base my entire personality around it. I've been called an incel for pointing out basic facts of dating. For example, the idea that absuvie men get partners but non abusive men can often struggle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/26 03:55 PM |
| 2 | Verifying and boosting your dating profile would actually help.The verified profile thing doesn't seem to work in getting more matches, and it's unreliable as a security measure anyway. I've gotten scammers and fake profiles who had "verified" profiles. All "verified" really means in practice is that someone was able to pose for a second photo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/26 12:45 AM |
| 3 | why aren’t men happier about the fact that they can improve themselves to be more likeable to women?A lot of us want a golden age, not a years or even decades long grind with no reliable chance of success. We want there to be a masculine equivalent to a personal ad that just says "22F. New to the city." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/26 09:08 PM |
| – | Old people have no understanding of how dating works todayOne of my older relatives once told me that Tinder was like "If you want sex you swipe right." Astounding that people think Tinder is some kind of straight Grindr. In reality Network effects (i.e. in a social service, the customers are also the product) mean the bigger a dating app is the better it can be due to a larger pool. Tinder is for all kinds of interests. Online dating is extremely hard to succeed in. It's not a pool of endless casual sex. Hookup culture is mostly a moral panic/meme, or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/07/26 08:38 PM |
| – | Women control every grey area in dating and it makes it hard for men not to make them uncomfortable.It is, and thanks for the sympathy. It's not something that is talked about at work, at home, or in hobbies. Even sexual subcultures are more about the people who are already there, and they just want to make friends with people already in the lifestyle. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 02:24 PM |
| – | Women control every grey area in dating and it makes it hard for men not to make them uncomfortable.Maybe a handful of times in my entire life I've seen people do a "lover's pinch" on the butt with each other, but other that that adult life is completely sexless and sterile. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 01:36 PM |
| – | Women control every grey area in dating and it makes it hard for men not to make them uncomfortable.Stop pursuing women that aren't enthusiastic about you. And how foes a man find such women? I don't see any sexual enthusiasm towards anyone in real life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/26 01:26 PM |
| 7 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketSocialization in adulthood could be a valid strategy (I'm trying it now), but it seems to work an order of magnitude slower, since clubs meet less often and have weaker discipline (i.e. attendance is no longer a factor in your grade, scholarship, or family pride). For example, high school and college activities are defined by the problem that school gets put at 3-4 PM but parents may work 9-5 jobs. Thus, a high school sport may practice every single week day to make up for the daily gap. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 08:17 PM |
| 14 | Handsome and Socially intelligent dude tries for 6 months in dating apps and failing miserably, shows that as a man if you want playtime, you must make dating your everything to get anything in the dating marketAlso 6 months That's two whole calendar seasons, as opposed to just one spring break or one "hot girl summer" It's a good enough run time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 07:50 PM |
| 6 | Dating is harder for men in their 30s vs their 20s due to increased market efficiencyI've never seen someone compare the dating market to crypto before. Very original! | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 01:03 PM |
| 1 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?That's kind of the philosophy some people can have: ignoring pain and mental anguish means that even "objective" suffering isn't bad. Even actual loss of ability (teeth falling out) may not be "bad" if the thing it causes in people is anguish over not being able to eat solid foods. Maybe another spin can be used: for many people, politics is real, not just feelings, and dating has become a political issue. Becoming essentially neutered of one's sex drive would seem like an admission of defeat. I… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 04:32 AM |
| 2 | Why don't unattractive men want to completely eradicate their libido?I believe there was once a philosopher who had a thought experiment where he asked people if you would plug yourself into a machine that simulated a perfect reality, and a lot of people said no. Kind of ironic since the whole pill metaphor comes from the movie The Matrix but there is a kind of empowerment to living in reality, even though it's suffering. The Red Pills eat gruel in the free, but real, world. One character talks about how in The Matrix, they can taste steak but they know it's not … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/07/26 03:53 AM |
| 1 | Society only "appreciates" men if they get married or get some kind of approval from women.I disagree with your last paragraph, or at least want to add a major nnuance. There'd a huge emphasis on the idea that men should always work and self-improve, but not with the goal of dating. I.e. become financially stable, but not to attract women. Have a social life, but not to meet women. Have interesting hobbies, but not because you think women find them interesting, etc. So the double standard is less "hardworking coupled men are heroes and hardworking single men are losers" and more "high… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/07/26 01:39 PM |
| – | why does predatory behavior toward young girls continue to be such a persistent issue, with menThe most infamous cases of abuse involve people in power and fame, who are more likely to be men. "Regular" chold abuse happens to boys and girls frequently, but every time a big name predator comes up it's almost always a man preying upon women or girls. I can't think of a single major scandal that ever boiled down to "Female CEO harassed male workers." or "Female politician assaults aides." or something like that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 10:19 PM |
| 2 | How much does past sexual experience shape your current sexual preferences?If I may ask, was it a mismatch in what he wanted to be submissive in? I think the kink/BDSM/etc community has a huge divide between submission as doing things for someone (i.e. sub polishing boots) and submission as having things done to them (i.e. sub being tied up). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/26 05:54 AM |
| 1 | Would you date someone you met in person who didn’t match with you on a dating app?Technically, I have already done this, but maybe not in the spirit of your question. I dated a female friend from college, but that was a case of "mutual loneliness" rather than some sort of magical real world vibes that are missed online. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 10:07 PM |
| – | How you got into this sub and what factors help people be more understanding and self aware and better with dating dynamic, expectations, experience and all?I arrived here as a lonely man, and I've said this many times: I love how this sub actually discusses things to a very high engagement level. Reddit culture is huge on passive-aggression and you can guage many subs by bow often you get 0 or -1 votes with no replies to an opinion. Here, someone will respond, if not directly to you but with someone else with the same idea. This goes double, treble, etc. for being a political/gender sub that is very balanced. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/07/26 05:10 PM |
| 3 | Do men just want to be seen as attractive and nothing else?My life archetype is basically "He has almost everything put together except for a sex life.", so in a sense "All I want is sex and to be sexy." is basically true. I have achieved almost everything I'm "supposed" to do in a normal happy life. I just don't have sex. Yet at the same time, I don't invest sex with the things a lot of other people do, because I already have a supply of those things from elsewhere. Non-sexual love and intimacy (i.e. hugs) is already provided by family. I get professio… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 03:14 PM |
| 7 | Going Out Alone as a Guy in a New City Is BrutalTake a cooking class. What exactly is this supposed to mean? Cooking classes that I've found are extremely small (like low single digit numbers of people) and very expensive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 02:38 AM |
| 1 | Going Out Alone as a Guy in a New City Is BrutalI've been trying this in my city, but there's a real problem in clubs as adults. They just don't meet often enough. The demographics are off. Adults are far busier. I've tried to invite team/clubmates out for drinks afterwards but people really just want to get home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/07/26 02:36 AM |
| 3 | No matter who you are or what opinions you hold, if your views on dating and gender relations come from second-hand "online experiences", those opinions aren't worth muchI think online culture can be the tip of the iceberg for real life attitudes. A big part of internet social skills is being able to cross-reference social media, the real world, traditional media, and general logic/common sense to figure out which of the "terminally online" opinions are meaningful of something greater, and which ones are truly just random individuals online. I know, and anyone can see this through their own Reddit engagement metrics, that dropoff in engagement is logarithmic. 1,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 10:00 PM |
| – | Blue Pill/Womans advice makes far more sense if you imply 1 point.One person on a dating advice sub said that "accountability" was something women look for. I just didn't understand and tried to probe i.e. accountable to what? That word normally means something like keeping promises or taking responsibility for wrongdoing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/26 03:45 AM |
| 1 | I think a lot of people on this sub needs to learn to separate the feminist theory, from the people who talk about it. Otherwise we risk to fall back into sexism.I think Scott Alexander said that ideologies exist in the real world, not Plato's Realm of Forms | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/07/26 09:52 PM |
| 2 | Economist: Height preferences in relationships are just as strong today as they were two decades agoExactly. It's like if people tried to argue the economy of the Weimar Republic was doing just fine and you just need to have good job interviewing skills, and it was taboo to point out economic problems because that's what the Nazis did. It's the Fox News Fallacy. A lot of people have this mentality of "Anything that right-wingers complain about must be propaganda/ragebait/actually a good thing/nonexistent/etc." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/07/26 04:48 PM |
| 5 | Economist: Height preferences in relationships are just as strong today as they were two decades agoMy female therapist said that she dated a short man. I couldn't help but want to be a lawyer and say "And is that short man the man you're married to today?" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/07/26 04:45 PM |
| 3 | What are men wanting in terms of dating?Unattractive women don't automatically have higher passion. I tried desperation dating once and she wasn't very much into me either. I know this sub loves the idea of passive people being active when a really hot guy is around, or a hot person getting to ask more of an aberage becajse someone because they're grateful of having/scared of losing them. I don't think that means that an average man get this from an unattractive woman. Sexual passion is very much dependent on the person regardless of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 01:40 PM |
| 4 | What are men wanting in terms of dating?I post a well written personal ad and it gets 10-20 replies instead of 0. I actually see all those little hints people say a woman displays when she likes you i.e. people making excuses to be near you. I get asked out or approached semi-regularly (say once a week in public, or at least once a night at a specific social setting) I go to a dating advice sub and nobody demonizes the idea of an adult man trying to find consensual sex. ("Treat them like people first!" / "Don't go just to meet women!"… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/26 01:31 PM |
| 1 | Q4A: If dating apps added conversation ratings, how do you think you'd score and how would this impact the experience of OLD?Hinge is somewhat trying to do this with an icon called "Signals", which requires you to have 4 things over the past 30 days. Selfie verification Sending comments (Hinge allows you to send messages before matches, via "comments" on photos or prompts) Reviewing likes Following up after matching | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 05:19 PM |
| – | I don’t want to give him “that satisfaction” is one of the most overlooked power dynamics in dating.I've never heard this phrase. The attitude that I actually see is more like "If I make the first move he'll say yes just to see where it goes." or "I'm not attracted to a guy who wouldn't make the first move." or "I want to feel desired." The only time I've seen someone spitefully not ask someone out as part of a power play is the Love is War manga. It's about two genius teens who love each other but don't want to admit it, so they engage in mindgames to manipulate the other person into confessi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/06/26 01:58 PM |
| 1 | Too many men treat women like 'final boss' of the video game called life. This causes low self worth which ironically impacts dating negatively 🫠I think the deeper double standard is that even if you do have the free time, resources, willpower, discipline, etc. to self improve, people will still say you're unattractive because you "did it just to meet women." Which is kind of ridiculous. It would be like if the beauty standard for women wasn't just "Be very good at hair/nails/makeup." which is already hard, but also "Have an elaborate hour+ daily routine, but not to make yourself look better. You must be into makeup purely as a technical… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 10:49 PM |
| 1 | Men Love Objectification, When it Benefits ThemIf you want to make that analogy then sure, ATMs are objects and if a man is literally treated as someone you just ask money from that makes sense. For me it's that I wouldn't use that term. Money is an object and people already value it. I can be a source of money in someone's life, but even a very exploitative dynamic wouldn't take away anything from me as a person. I'd be heavily offended at being used as a means to access objects, but I wouldn't feel like I'm the object itself, the way that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 09:24 PM |
| 13 | Men Love Objectification, When it Benefits ThemMoney is an object already, so wanting my money wouldn't objectify me. To be clear I'd be greatly upset if someone wanted me just for money, but I wouldn't call it "objectification" since it doesn't objectify me. Unironically, I do actually want to be objectified and fetishized, but for my body parts or who I am, not something that would be given away like money or gifts. If someone said "I only care about your eyebrows." or "I read a fanfic where someone acted just like you, and to be honest I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/06/26 09:09 PM |
| – | Avoidant attachment is often an overcomplicated explanation for unequal romantic interestI dont think the attachment styles thing is total pseudoscience. It makes sense to me that some people would want someone, but be afraid of getting too close, like someone who loves the idea of playing a video game but is so scared of losing they restart or save-scum every time something goes wrong. Someone can go to a pool but still take a few minutes to psych themelves up to get into the water. On a more comddic note, I just realized that "avoidance attachment" is like therapy terminology for … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 04:57 PM |
| 9 | Talking to women is impossible.There's a massive taboo about people standing up talking to people who are sitting down, or people at tables talking to people at different tables. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 03:30 PM |
| 4 | Too many men treat women like 'final boss' of the video game called life. This causes low self worth which ironically impacts dating negatively 🫠What gets me is how the men who don't self improve get partners. It's one thing to be insecure about making 90K a year because it's not 6 figures. That's where an attitude like "For the right person it shouldn't matter." or "You don't have to be perfect." is fine. It's another thing to know that in courtrooms all across the US, domestic violence defendants are getting appointed public defenders because they are poor. People struggling to financially survive, to say nothing of all the other life … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/06/26 06:08 AM |
| 25 | Why is misandry being normalised on social media under the disguise of "it's just a reaction to misogyny"?You know how some people say that "A libertarian is just a conservative who smokes weed?" I sometimes like to think that a lot of progressives are just conservatives who celebrate gay marriage. Like yes, they affirm this and that, they're fine with X and Y, they want drug legalization and whatnot, but deep down the worldview is still about sorting the world into winners and losers, and blaming the losers for personal failings. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/06/26 08:40 PM |
| 51 | Too many men treat women like 'final boss' of the video game called life. This causes low self worth which ironically impacts dating negatively 🫠But that's what we're explicitly told: to be put together, to have something of value, to move out, pay off our debt, get the job, get the education, get hobbies, get better photos, better clothes, and on and on and on. There is no point where people will tell a man "Actually, you're good enough as you are. Your current accomplishments should have attracted a woman by now. It's clearly not your fault and something else must be the problem. You are a good person worthy of intimacy. You can rest n… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 05:40 PM |
| 2 | If you could be born as a woman instead, would you?I'm a cautious guy. I'd take the solid 50,000 in a reality show rather than have the chance at 1,000,000. Even if life was inarguably better for women in general I'm satisfied with a lot of things in my life and wouldn't want to roll the dice again. My point is that even the most obvious PPD take on a woman's life (that sex is easier to get) is actually kind of moot for me. I'd either keep my attraction to women and maybe even be worse off as a lesbian, or I'm attracted to men, in which case it'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/26 06:40 AM |
| 3 | If you could be born as a woman instead, would you?No. I think my life as a man is pretty good save for not having sex, and I don't want to know what being a woman would mess up. It's almost like playing a game and I'm 95% successful on my current playthrough and someone asks me if I want to change it. Even as impossible as that last 5% seems, I'd rather keep what I already have and keep pushing as opposed to resetting the clock and maybe not being able to do everything else I've done in life so far. Even just from a sexual perspective you need … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 11:47 PM |
| 18 | Most men here don't just have dating problem, they're severely under-socialized in general.Human social interaction often is a puzzle to be solved logically. Second language classes can be very explicit about social norms and procedures for the culture where the language comes from. All of this "just be respectful" or "just talk to people" vagueness that redditors love to say disappears the moment you actually take a language class or culture class and are actually graded on the specifics of how to interact with others. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 01:45 PM |
| 1 | “Just be happy single” is easy advice when singledom is optional.One psychological gotcha I like is to imagine if someone giving this advice would go on a sex strike in solidarity with the single. For example, no married couple would tell a single guy "It's okay to be single, and we'll prove this by just treating each other as platonic roommates. Not even handholding, kissing, cuddling. I will act utterly disinterested in my spouse for as long as it takes for you to find a girlfriend/boyfriend by just doing nothing and hoping the universe works out." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/26 01:39 PM |
| 2 | The ideal human society is 80% female and 20% male.Found Dr. Strangelove's account. The mineshaft gap with the Soviets must be closed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/06/26 03:54 AM |
| -5 | Women naturally tends to make things harder for men, while men naturally tends to make things easier for womenMen are sexually attracted to women and very passionate. I've never seen passion from a woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipI lean more into the practical realities. Women and men can form close bonds, but it's a lot easier in a high school or college type setting: A unifying identity and mission: everyone is a student and must learn. Parents and the government force people to go to school, and my generation was heavily pushed into going to college. Easy logistics: colleges are basically artificial cities where almost everything is within walking distance. High schools are mini-societies contained within a few buildi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 04:22 PM |
| 2 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipSimply making friendships with the opposite gender in these workplace or classroom settings cannot be this hard. There are overwhelming difficulties to adult friendships. People life father apart, have different schedules, and the infrastructure just isn't there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:55 AM |
| 13 | Gen Z men should avoid "quick and easy" and impersonal methods for finding themselves a relationshipImo you should attempt to date only a woman whom with you already feel an emotional connection to, and who genuinely understands you on a personal and intellectual level. Men don't really have a choice. It's like telling a starving person "You should only eat lobsters with a high amount of butter." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 06:05 AM |
| 4 | Blue pill ideology give terrible advice for menMost people are reasonably social. We're a social species. What are you talking about? In public almost nobody talks to strangers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/26 12:40 AM |
| 3 | Why is there such a massive asymmetry in how men pursue women vs. how women pursue men?Men plant their seed and go on with their day I don't understand why people believe this. An unintended pregnancy can be life-changing or ruining for everyone involved. As a man, I'm terrified that one day I might get someone accidentally pregnant. Men have basically no choice on whether they want to become fathers or financially support someone. They face an 18 year financial commitment, or basically have to become fugitives from the police and their ex's lawyers. You can't just walk away from … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 10:23 PM |
| 7 | Why is there such a massive asymmetry in how men pursue women vs. how women pursue men?do have higher sex drive then mens in most cases but we don't go on texting every man we see online why is that? What kinds of personal experiences are you talking about? I don't understand this. It sounds like someone saying "Women are even more extroverted than men, they just don't talk with other people as much as them." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 04:59 PM |
| 19 | Why is there such a massive asymmetry in how men pursue women vs. how women pursue men?I hate to think it's true, and I'd love to be proven wrong, but I think it's very clear women just have a much weaker sex drive than men. I do not attach moral value to this fact. Men are not better for having stronger sex drives. Women are not worse for having weaker ones. It is "unfair" only in the "things are naturally unequal and it's not my fault" sense. It is not unfair in the "things are purposefully unjust and it's their fault" sense. Again, I cannot tell you how much I'd want this to be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/26 04:43 PM |
| 3 | Men should not be seeking dating advice from womenI don't think women are attracted to abuse. I just think there's far more to it than women liking kindness, since there are thousands upon thousands of examples where men who didn't have kindness and got chosen. Once again, I've never seen an explanation for the existence of abusive relationships that fully makes sense to me. It's not that I think women choose abusive men for their abusiveness. The whole thing is inexplicable to me. For example, financial dependence I can understand as a reason … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 09:30 PM |
| 11 | Sex isn’t special.One of the things I can never wrap my head around is that people act like sex is a trivial thing, that it's not important, it's not special, yet there are literally entire civil rights movements based either directly or indirectly on some right to sex. People say that single people shouldn't obsess over sex, but take away sex from a couple and see how happy they are: I've heard the joke "Marital sex is like a toilet. You wouldn't buy a house just to have a toilet, but you'd never buy a house wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 08:35 PM |
| 3 | Men should not be seeking dating advice from womenWhat I am saying is that you generally aren't observing these men 24 hours a day. You see how they act around you, not necessarily how they act around friends, family, coworkers, or romantic partners. I get that abusive men aren't attractive because they're abusive, but no explanation for their success I've ever heard is adequate. For example, there's the idea that abusive men hide who they are, except, that doesn't explain what makes them attractive. It doesn't explain why they got swiped right… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 07:43 PM |
| 3 | Men should not be seeking dating advice from womenWhen women discuss why they love Charles, we don't spend hours talking about his jawline. I understand that fictional characters can be attractive on personality, but fictional characters are already incredibly attractive by normal person standards (i.e. an artist won't go out of their way to draw uneven skin tone or pimples for no reason, so everyone has perfect skin by default with no upkeep). I don't see physically unattractive characters that are sexually attractive on personality alone. Thi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 06:21 PM |
| 1 | Do you think straight men would be better or worse at dating than women if they became women?I don't think the effort women put into isn't as necessary as they think for men to find them sexually attractive. I've ridden public transportation for years, so I get to see tons of women with and without makeup since some apply it on the bus or train. I also wear cosmetics every day as a man (eye cream), and it doesn't make a difference in the way I'm treated. It's really more of a confidence / spot fixing thing, the kind of thing that I probably pay more attention to than other people. Makeu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Do you think straight men would be better or worse at dating than women if they became women?Average women in our natural state are invisible to men. Like, no grooming, no makeup, no fashion How would an average woman not be enough on her own? Gay men don't need these things to be attractive to each other, and I know this because I can get dozens of likes an hour when I switch my dating profile to "looking for men." One thing I also hear from women is that the attention front men is basically automatic, and filtering is the problem. Plus, men love attention from women and displaying alm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 01:52 PM |
| 6 | Men should not be seeking dating advice from womenWomen: "Confidence, compatibility, humor, shared values, emotional intelligence, physical attraction, and a hundred other factors." The reason why men doubt this is because there is such a thing as revealed vs. stated preferences, and because we see far worse men succeed where we don't. It's not that I think women are liars. It's just that without confirming against real world observations and data, I think humans are bad at predicting their own behavior. If someone says "I'd buy more bread if i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 01:37 PM |
| 1 | Do you think men given women's dating profiles would fail due to lack of social skills, personality, etc?Are these trends actually holding? I don’t see any young guys getting partners as they age. The older couples I know all fall into a few categories: They are old enough to have met pre-covid, pre-dating apps, or some other supposed better time. They met in high school or college. They met through a religious or ethnic community. I knew the woman first, so the man she chose is survivorship bias. I don't know what he had to do or how many men she saw before him. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 01:24 PM |
| 3 | men DO care about a woman’s incomeTo feel wanted, I can't be needed. I can't deny that if I date a poor person I will be an "upgrade" to their life if we get serious. If I found someone literally at the poverty line, I would definitely be paying for dates, being more accepting of her moving in with me, and so on. I know that there would be an imbalance there. However, I would believe the attraction was genuine if it was clear her life plan wasn't "date me." She could be living with friends or family, in debt but paying it off sl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 05:11 AM |
| 1 | men DO care about a woman’s incomeWhen I "don't care about a woman's income", I mean it in an idealistic and a cynical sense. Cynically, I know people sometimes try to take advantage of others for money and don't want to be the victim in that situation. Idealistically, I want to be loved and attractive as I am, and not have being the higher-earner be a tradeoff for being with me if they find me unattractive. As a baseline, I need someone to be without serious problems. Minimum wage could be fine for me. Debt can be fine. As long… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/06/26 04:30 AM |
| 2 | Do you think men given women's dating profiles would fail due to lack of social skills, personality, etc?The average man does not “fail” compared to the average woman. He just has a tougher time getting to the dating phase. What does this mean? How do average guys succeed?" Like what specifically does this mean? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/26 09:27 PM |
| 1 | Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness isBy loneliness we mean sexual loneliness. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/26 02:16 AM |
| 5 | Why do people love to deflect and be a bigot?Shcrodinger's Internet Seriousness: the influence and reality of the internet depends on whether it's me or you. For me, the internet is a powerful media infrastructure that affects our lives, and it reflects and shapes real world attitudes. I'm upset because online bigotry and stigma is real. My algorithm delivers real news and observations about problems we need to do something about. For you, the internet is just silly jokes from randos who aren't a part of the real world. If you're offended … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/06/26 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Misandry analysis being suppressed onlineAs a kid I sometimes wondered if there was a machine that could perfectly calculate the exact sequence of words to convince me of anything. If turns out LLMs are not that. Their responses are less "accumulated knowledge across the entire internet" and more like "top reddit comment on mainstream sub." Occasionally insightful and good banter, but ultimately a generic "trendslop" answer. When I ask it about things I'm knowledgeable about (historical weapons and battle tactics) it often defaults to … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/06/26 06:12 PM |
| 2 | "Men have oppressed women for centuries."I think the better argument is that male and female economic disparities should cancel out in heterosexual couples. Basically, household income and overall economic class is more important. In a society where men earned 1.5 and women 0.5, that's still a household income of 2 no matter how fair or unfair the gender gap is. I'd also guess that there's a legitimate debate to be had over whether being a poor woman in an equal society is better than being middle class in a patriarchal one. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/06/26 06:07 PM |
| 1 | "Men have oppressed women for centuries."It's literally the logic of tribalism, except even worse because it lacks the kinship inheritance of actual tribes. If your great grandfather killed my great grandfather, and iur grandfathers and fathers fueded in cycles of revenge, that's a specific, traceable connection for us to be in conflict. Historical oppression almost never has this level of connection. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/06/26 06:03 PM |
| 3 | Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness isTake away sex from someone who has it and see their mental health crumble. Sex is in fact necessary, it's just that people love to deny that ablut single men because we can't think of a way to solve the problem. Nobody who already has a partner but loses sex is expected to be as happy and content as single men. People treat cheating as incredibly wrong, and even murder others over it. There is simply no platonic equivalent to the level of trauma and rage that cheating invokes. There's clearly so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 01:44 PM |
| 4 | Women couldn’t even begin to understand what real loneliness isI swear, as a migrant, all migrant women integrated easily because there are many local dudes who want to be their guide and invite them into their social circles. Maybe not international migrants, but "I'm new here" is a line I see on personal ads and dating app bios. It's basically the female pickup line. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/06/26 01:39 PM |
| 5 | Most people need to experience casual sex, especially men.I once told my therapist "The ultimate straight male fantasy is to be treated like a straight woman by a gay man in a female body." Or to simplify: the ultimate straight male fantasy is to meet a straight woman who acts like a gay man. Or what they think gay men are like. That kind of "Sup bro. I'm free from 5-7 tonight. Wanna come over?" directness and passion for the male body. To be seen as sexy not because of what he does, but because of who he is on a pure ASL (Age, Sex, Location) level. A … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/26 07:30 PM |
| 5 | The reason why young people are having less sex is pretty straight forward.I think that the online culture war is mostly a symptom, though I do think it's a large cause as well. For example, there are unrealistic and harsh beauty norms for men, but I do think that they are passively caused by women not wanting most men, as opposed to online content. I say passively because what men do is a reaction to what women do, but I'm not saying it's women's fault or responsibility. Men want to have a sex life, they don't get it, and then they look for answers, which leads to man… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/26 05:50 PM |
| 7 | The reason why young people are having less sex is pretty straight forward.IIRC the definition of poverty in the US was originally tied to food prices, and the formula was roughly "food budget x 3" Nowadays, it's actually rent/mortgage that sucks people's incomes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/26 05:45 PM |
| 2 | The reason why young people are having less sex is pretty straight forward.I think a huge problem is the lack of unstructured free time. To be upfront, I think a lot of the "dating problems" on this sub and in other spaces are middle class problems: poor people inexplicably get together and I do not understand why, while rich people obviously have maxed out social status and attractiveness. In the American middle class, free time is incredibly structured growing up. You don't play soccer on an empty lot near your house. You play it in a league on official fields. It's … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/26 05:35 PM |
| 6 | Men aren't actually 'allowed' to be angryThank you. It's such a cliche/redditism to say "The only emotion men are allowed to express is anger." but...no? I work a public facing job that deals with people's problems. Men get anxious, insecure, cry, etc. all the time. We deal with tons of trauma and nobody comes to us if they're having a good day. Do you know what gets security or police called? Male anger. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/06/26 05:11 PM |
| 2 | Ironic Misandry: Why Feminists Pretending to Hate Men Isn't Funny (2014)I remember it used to be a left wing talking point that stuff like irony, comedy, and satire don't matter past a certain point. You can only pretend to be something for so long until you are that thing. I remember a whole genre of commentary about "ironic racism" being an alt right pipeline. Another related debate is grifting vs. genuine advocacy. At a certain point, ig doesn't matter whether or not a pundit "really" believes something or is just "doing it for a grift." Someone whose public pers… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/06/26 05:01 PM |
| 5 | What’s the most controversial negative opinion you have about your own gender?I would probably have to say that men overglorify the idea of the cold approach. Recently I went to a nightclub and you wouldn't believe how loud it is. The focus on "seduction techniques" or "social skills" for approaching women is like the dating equivalent of the "cult of the marksman" that some militaries had in the late 19th century. Yes, it's always better to have better "technique" or "game" or whatever, just like having more accuracy is always better, but it's simply not as decisive as y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/06/26 06:32 PM |
| – | What is so bad about directly asking for sex?But it's still asking for consent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 01:11 PM |
| 2 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?It's arguably more male specific since a man might realistically have to make them meeting easier on her end. When I was long distance we'd take turns, but I wouldn't count on a woman driving an hour or two out to me for a first date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 06:52 AM |
| 3 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?I mentioned food allergies since I've known people with it, and as the non-allergic person it does require a shift in lifestyle. Even when going out, it requires some additional research or planning ahead. Cohabitation is of course an entirely different ballgame. There are tons of cultural and personal differences people don't think of until they are spending 8 hours a day with them instead of 2 hours on a Friday night. Bar soap or liquid soap in bathrooms? Is it okay to flush the toilet in the … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 05:49 AM |
| 5 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?Well it's true. Literally everything from sheer distance to interior design affects how easy it is to socialize with people. Think of the difference between cafeteria tables (large, seats on both sides, forces unrelated groups to sit together since there's not that many tables) vs standard restaurant tables (seat 2-4 people, every party and individual has their own) | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 01:36 AM |
| 13 | What has your actual lived experience/ challenges with dating been like?In order for dating to happen, there needs to be Women in my age range who That I can meet Are single and willing to date at all. are attracted to me specifically. that I am attracted to that can logistically work out. that are otherwise compatible All of these fronts face issues The average age of adults in the US is 47. To put this another way, "dating as a 20 something" starts out with the fact that the average adult is actually twice your age. In college you walk into a cafeteria and everyon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/26 12:00 AM |
| 2 | Most people don’t want to be around someone with a victim complex,The point is that it's about the attitude, not the substance of the complaint. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/26 05:30 PM |
| 1 | Universal compulsory heterosexuality ("comphet") is now considered a black pill subject and is not allowed on this sub.Not the same exact same situation, but I had a female friend who identified as non-binary online to avoid getting unwanted attention. Given this was a site/app where people had profile photos, I guess the logic is that it's not clearly an outright lie like claiming to be a man, while identifying as trans would seem more offensive and backfire due to people who fetishize that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 06:04 PM |
| – | Who told men being nice would lead to sex?"Nice guys aren't actually nice." is a phrase I've seen. It's a bit of a weird piece of rhetoric. It doesn't say that you need more than niceness to get sex. It doubles down on the idea that sexless men are simply not good people. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 06:44 AM |
| 5 | Universal compulsory heterosexuality ("comphet") is now considered a black pill subject and is not allowed on this sub.Sometimes I wish I could write a buddy comedy about a straight man and a lesbian competing on who can find a girlfriend first. In the post credits scene, Nick Fury tells them they're not the only sexually frustrated people in the world. They've become part of a larger sexual marketplace. In all seriousness, F4F posts regularly get 0 replies on personals boards the same way M4F ones do. I know what it's like to date within a niche pool (I've tried apps for disabled people) and know the brutal rea… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 03:07 AM |
| 1 | Universal compulsory heterosexuality ("comphet") is now considered a black pill subject and is not allowed on this sub.Has there ever been a "left the burner (account) on" moment? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/06/26 02:56 AM |
| 10 | Universal compulsory heterosexuality ("comphet") is now considered a black pill subject and is not allowed on this sub.As far as my terminally online lore can explain, it can come from a variety of ideas and observations, but surprisingly originates from the essay Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence in 1980. I wasn't expecting it to be a pre-internet term! Personally I think concept is actually somewhat interesting since it's one of those horseshoe conclusions that you can believe for left or right wing reasons. Even if I don't see the actual word used all that often, I still see overlap in a lot of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/26 03:50 AM |
| 1 | The gender ratio of single men and single women in most offline places is worse than on apps. Apps are statistically the best way to meet women for the average guy.Some disagreement and agreement from me. For me meetups were more about age and being taken. It's not that "women" aren't found. It's just that they're married or 10-20 years older than me I didn't see any monopoly of men at a dance lesson I attended. It was actually favorable (7 women and 5 men if I recall?), but most of the women there were paired up or older. I've been to a couple charity dances or concerts if that counts. Here, I was best able to talk to people if the music wasn't too loud, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/06/26 10:44 PM |
| 2 | The reason men and women can't empathize with each other's dating woes is because we are experiencing fundamentally different realities.Thanks. I like it when people share personal experiences. I've heard the idea that rejection can lead to violence but I didn't know how common that was. I know women in real life but one reason why I come to PPD is because it could be too awkward or personal to ask people I know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 05:11 PM |
| 2 | The reason men and women can't empathize with each other's dating woes is because we are experiencing fundamentally different realities.face a much higher risk of being killed or hurt for saying a polite no What is this risk? Has this ever happened to you or someone you know? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/06/26 04:36 PM |
| – | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.The internet definitely allows people to outsource their sexual validation. My (male) sex therapist also had a theory that the women who like sex are more likely to monetize it, while the men who like sex don't. In other words, women who are extremely sexually active do exist, it's just that they are escorts and strippers rather than on Tinder. Then again, sex work doesn't seem enjoyable. Anyone who has ever monetized their passion knows that "do the thing you love" is a bit of a trap. Besides, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/06/26 04:45 PM |
| 2 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenpeople’s personal experiences than endless, pointless gender wars debates Aren't TRP "field reports" this? Or are those only very specifically about cold approach attempts? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 11:23 PM |
| 1 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenThe Sharing from Animorphs comes to mind. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 07:11 PM |
| 6 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenThere are massive logistical difficulties with adult friend groups, and I don't need more men to hang out with. Thus it simplifies down to "Where is it socially acceptable to interact with women in public?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 05:45 PM |
| 9 | Dating offline is honestly worse than online dating for most Gen Z men who want to date Gen Z womenI'm sad to say being invited to social events doesn't really happen. People treat hobbies like 2nd jobs in my experience. They clock in, do the activity, then go home. "Nice workout. Want to come to the BBQ next week?" is something I've never seen in reality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/06/26 05:35 PM |
| – | Do you believe that loneliness in men is pathologized in society(Obsession(2026) spoilers ahead)?Yes. The stigma against male virginity never went away, it just got re-moralized along different values lines. We went from "It's bad to be a virgin." to "If you're a virgin, it must be because you're a bad person." which functions differently in the exact mechanics but is the same in practice. The idea that women's sexuality is a reward for men's good behavior never went away, it too just got re-moralized to be about women being right to cut bad men out of their lives rather than good men being… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 07:31 PM |
| 1 | Social media represents how people feel insindeCan you explain why media including movies and songs that are widely trashed on certain social media sites still manage to become popular and make a shit ton of money? Sometimes mediocre goodness is quieter than outright hatred. i.e. Nickleback's music is hated because it had mass market appeal. They're 5/10 or 6/10 to almost everyone, but 1-2 out of 10 to a vocal anti-fandom. Think of it like fast food: the people who like it will not act like it's the best thing in the world, but the people wh… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/26 12:48 AM |
| – | Romance is dying because men and women know too much about each other.Nowadays, even the fattest loserish chuds have seen naked supermodels. There’s no longer anything special about seeing a woman or a man nude. It'd be special seeing it in person,the same way being a pro sports player is different than just watching a game, or that having a family is way more meaningful than seeing a family in public. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/26 02:40 PM |
| 19 | The obsession movie increasing misandry, similar to Adolescence show.Adolescence is basically the misandrist equivalent of Lady Ballers. It's the film of people who seem like they wanted to make a documentary but had to make it fictional instead. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/05/26 05:42 PM |
| 4 | What are some blunt statements you yearn to tell fear narrative misandrists?The thing that surprised me the most was how few homicides involve "personal weapons." There is so much fear around male strength but it turns out the real danger is almost always just "gun" or "knife." PS: As I've said elsewhere on this sub, strength is highly overrated as a factor in violent crime. Crimes are not athletic events or combat sports where performance margins matter. Most crimes do not involve a victim resisting with 100% strength and being overpowered by a criminal at 100% in retu… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/26 09:11 PM |
| 2 | Why Are There So Fews Novels That Portray Men As Victims In Abusive Relationships?Baby Reindeer portrays a female stalker, but it's a Netflix show. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/26 03:21 PM |
| 14 | What are some blunt statements you yearn to tell fear narrative misandrists?Emmett Till was black but he was also a boy. The racist idea that black men posed a threat to white women is also misandry. I.e. it wasn't that black people were all equally feared as sexual predators. It was men specifically. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/26 03:18 PM |
| 7 | What are some blunt statements you yearn to tell fear narrative misandrists?From Homicide Victimization in the United States, 2023 by DOJ and https://injuryfacts.nsc.org/all-injuries/deaths-by-demographics/deaths-by-age/data-details/ Homicide in general is a rare way to die. If you are a young person, you are far more likely to die in a car accident. Motor vehicle deaths per 100,000 start at around 1.50 (age 15) and remain between 10 and 20 per 100,000. Tens of thousands of Americans die each year from cars, a casualty rate more comparable to a never-ending war than a d… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/05/26 02:49 PM |
| 1 | What do you want to be valued for?I want her to value my body. I am already valued for what I do in my job, I already have people I get along with, and so on. Basically the only thing left for me to feel is "be sexy" to someone on that automatic "Wow, you're hot!" level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 06:54 PM |
| 2 | The Blind Spot of Systemic Oppression vs. Systemic SafetyNo, I'm pointing out that violent crime has little to do with athletic ability or "fighting" potential. Most crime victims are scared people who were going about their day and taken by surprise, or who gave up something out of fear. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/05/26 04:53 PM |
| 5 | So why did western men “allow” women to have rights anyways?From a purely economic perspective, the liberalization of women means more workers and consumers, which grows the economy. Obviously women have always worked in some form or another, but we mean "work" in the form of a taxable income in a modern style job. An office worker who buys bread from the store supports and is supported by more people than someone at home who bakes their own bread. Source: Played Victoria 3, where a huge part of the game is turning peasants into modern consumers in an in… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/05/26 03:50 AM |
| 2 | The Blind Spot of Systemic Oppression vs. Systemic SafetyThe male statistical majority in violent crime exists for the exact same biological reason that virtually 100% of world physical sports records are held by men: physical strength and capacity for explosive force. I wouldn't even concede this. Violent crimes are not duels or sporting events where biological advantages reliably matter. A lot of them are ambushes or psychological power plays. Most crimes do not involve a victim resisting 100% to the max and a criminal overpowering them with 100% of… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/05/26 09:36 PM |
| – | Would you consider a man entitled for wanting a romantic partner?too high standards is blaming women for male loneliness on a systemic scale Thank you for your example, but don't women get to complain about unfair beauty standards without getting accused of stuff like "blaming men for their depression" or something? This sounds like men are only allowed to say they feel things are wrong, rather than point out problems that could actually exist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 04:02 PM |
| 9 | The popularity of AI boyfriends over AI girlfriends proves straight-identifying women tend to find the male body optional.I think the "AI boyfriend/girlfriend" thing is just an extension of erotic fiction more than a replacement for a person. I'll admit I've delved into the idea myself a bit, and the experience is more "I'm making a story with AI prompts rather than writing purely from scratch." than "Wow, an actual person is talking to me." It doesn't even maintain the illusion very well, since it's still the human user prompting everything. A huge part of sexuality for me is the other person. There's this idea of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 03:07 PM |
| 6 | The idea that men enjoy the chase is completely made up.It's like when you find a story that's like "Struggle is what makes life meaningful! If you got everything you wanted life would be boring!" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 02:50 PM |
| – | Would you consider a man entitled for wanting a romantic partner?What does "blame women" mean in this context? For example, could a man point out unfair expectations or unreasonable behavior without "blaming" women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/26 12:08 AM |
| 1 | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.It would be absurd for any given person, sure, but my biggest problem/frustration as a straight man is that there should be at least some percentage of extremely visible, extremely sexually active women, the same way that visible communities exist for things like extreme sports or even outright illegal activities. I can accept that women as a group face more sexual stigma, or that they have less visible ways of being interested or aroused, or that they take less initiative, or that sex is often … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 09:54 PM |
| 1 | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.It's foolish to assume that inaction means a lack of internal feelings, especially when the person states the contrary. We all can think of instances where we did not act on feelings for a variety of good and bad reasons. I understand there can be reasons people don't act on their feelings, but the point is that actions can prove feelings. Men can only hear "Women love men, it's just that it's hidden or expressed differently!" for so long before it becomes like The Dragon In My Garage by Carl Sa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 07:13 PM |
| 1 | CMV: There is no discernible difference between an asexual woman and the average, heterosexual-identified one.Feelings should explain behavior, and the problem is that the actions of many women do not look meaningfully different from asexuality. That's where many men are frustrated. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/26 03:54 PM |
| – | How important is sex?"Bad sex" can be a euphemism for sexual assault. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 02:53 AM |
| – | How important is sex?One funny comparison I've heard, at least about marital sex, is this: "Sex is like a toilet. You wouldn't buy a house just to have a toilet, but you'd never buy a house without a toilet." I've also heard something like "Sex isn't everything, but when it's good, it's 10% of the relationship, and when it's bad, it's 90%." (or some similar statistical flip, like 20/80 or 70/30). Another one is "Sex is like air. When you have it you don't think much about it. When you don't have it, it's all you can… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/05/26 12:36 AM |
| – | Why do many men find a clumsy, socially awkward, maladjusted woman acceptable for casual sex, but women don’t?I don't know the scientific term for this, but at large samples margins add up to more observable effects. In grocery shopping bread that costs $0.02 more per loaf is not going to bankrupt an individual shopper, but for the grocery store chain buying loaves from a wholesale bakery that difference in price could mean millions of dollars earned or lost. For individual behavior, I would never want to directly invalidate or argue a given person's reasons for themselves. If someone says "I don't buy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 11:03 PM |
| -1 | Why do many men find a clumsy, socially awkward, maladjusted woman acceptable for casual sex, but women don’t?The pregnancy and assault explanations make sense on an individual level. I won't argue with anyone who says those are their reasons, but I don't think it explains things at a high level. My understanding is that access to birth control and abortion has shockingly little to do with someone's sex life. Two of the biggest arguments for it are actually that they don't increase the amount of sex people have (the "promiscuity myth"), and that people will continue to have sex even without those things… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 11:58 AM |
| 0 | Why do many men find a clumsy, socially awkward, maladjusted woman acceptable for casual sex, but women don’t?What does this even mean? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/26 11:55 AM |
| 4 | I want to ask an unusual question to you straight menVery interesting and original question! I hope my answer matches. I would have to say that the men I find attractive, as in "I'd swap their body for mine.", is maybe in the single digit percent. That's not to say I'm in the top % myself. Some men are taller, shorter, fatter, skinnier, more or less muscular, but visceral "Woah, he's hot! I'm jealous." reactions are definitely in the 5% or less. First off, around 3/4 of men are overweight or obese, and I want a muscular build. Of the "healthy weig… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/26 02:06 AM |
| 5 | White knights are dangerous to men issues."mandatory self-defense pe classes for girls and mandatory sexual assault/domestic violence classes for boys" As a male rape victim who couldn't defend themselves, that comment really goes to show the ignorance and hate. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/05/26 11:34 AM |
| 2 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?I'm a straight man so I wouldn't know what the women's side of the manga market is like, but I don't think it's as mainstream or well known as the works that are made for men. A lot of series are things I will know even if I'm not interested or don't have the time to actually get around to watching them. Almost all of the series I know would be aimed towards men. Maybe Ouran High School Host Club or Yuri on Ice would be the exceptions, but those are years old and the only two that would have bre… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 12:50 AM |
| 5 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?I'm trying to add a few points I rarely see. I see some variation of "men watch porn, women read erotica" on the internet, but there are a lot of assumptions or nuances to get into. People seem to be thinking of fanfiction or western novels when they talk of women preferring more emotional or character driven works, without realizing that a lot of mens' literature exists too. The "harem" genre of manga is so cliche at this point there is even a comedy series called The 100 Girlfriends Who Really… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/26 12:20 AM |
| 11 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?My main contention is actually that the "men watch porn, women read erotica" trope is redundant, since men also read an enormous amount of erotica. It's just that it comes in the form of something like a Japanese "harem" manga rather than a "dark romance" novel from Walmart. Long before "50 Shades of Grey" blew the doors open men watched erotic/pornographic anime and read the manga it was adapted from. The main thing I will concede is that purely written erotica is probably mostly consumed by wo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 08:58 PM |
| 2 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?I've been social, it's just that single women are basically nowhere to be found. After high school and college, the bottom completely falls out and any kind of social interaction becomes logistically challenging. There is just so little "supply" of other people, so little time and space to meet, so little reason for people to be together. Exercise clubs, academic clubs, yoga, and even dancing is all the same story. Other men, married people, old people, and the clubs are smaller than a comparabl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 08:52 PM |
| 2 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?Feeld is not Grindr. It's just another dating app, with all the usual problems. Too many men, too many scammers, too few women wanting to date, no matches, no replies, no dates. I'm even been on Fetlife, but Fetlife is famously designed to not be a dating site: you can't search by kink role, age, gender, or location. Dedicated personals boards for certain dynamics and regions of the world exist but once again, are just dating apps in message board format. A sea of M4F personal ads with 0 replies… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 08:32 PM |
| 0 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?I'm making a population level observation. I understand different people have different upbringings but the bottom line is that gays and lesbians built subcultures and dedicated community spaces for sexuality despite facing worse repression than straight people and a far smaller population. Most bars etc. cater to straight people?? Most people are straight, straight people don't need a subculture. They are already most of culture. What are you talking about? Sexuality isn't welcomed in public. B… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 07:18 PM |
| 3 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?What I'm saying is that gays and lesbians faced more stigma and repression for their sexuality than straight people, but are more visible than straight women. There are gay and lesbian bars where you can, purposefully, directly, meet gay and lesbian people. Therefore, the idea that stigma and repression against straight sexuality makes straight women mostly invisible to straight men doesn't make sense to me. There should be some kind of highly visible bathhouse/bar/cruising/Grindr app subculture… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 06:47 PM |
| 0 | Why can't men be marketed to women as sexual objects / receivers of desire?I can understand this in the abstract, but I'm a bit confused on why gays and lesbians seem to thrive despite even more stigma, or why sexual repression wouldn't backfire in many cases and cause people to be even more sexual in adulthood than they otherwise would be. In theory, being straight is less stigmatized than being gay or lesbian, and yet there are still dedicated and visible communities to that sexuality. It's always amazed me how there aren't dedicated "straight bars" or "straight bath… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 05:41 PM |
| 2 | Men and Women Often Fear Opposite Forms of RejectionI think your quote text is broken. It gives the vertical lime but nothing appears to me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/26 01:02 AM |
| 3 | Sex and relationships are mostly an Esteem need, not a Love & Belonging need. Conflating the two makes the surrounding discourse a lot more confusing.But something like professional validation or familial love isn't a smaller version of sexual love. It's something entirely different, at least for me. One time a woman on a dating app said I had a "dump truck ass" and that was probably the greatest compliment I've ever received. No amount of "You're handsome." from mom or grandmas could ever be even a fraction of that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/26 03:33 PM |
| 6 | Sex and relationships are mostly an Esteem need, not a Love & Belonging need. Conflating the two makes the surrounding discourse a lot more confusing.Plenty of people live with family on good terms but still want/"need" romance and sex. Back to ancient times the Greeks recognized different forms of love, and "eros" (where we get erotic) is one of them. Soldiers will form some of the closest nonsexual bonds people can ever have with each other, and still be upset that their spouse or partner is away from them. Stuff like friends, family, therapy, sports teams, and professional networks are all their own kinds of emotional and physical closenes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/05/26 02:45 AM |
| 16 | It's not a hot take to say that most women (doesn't matter if they conservative or liberal) don't like pegging, feminine men, or bisexual men.It's not so much act specific so much as about who leads. In some kink circles, you'll see a distinction between top/bottom (who is the active/penetrating/giving and who is passive/penetrated/receiving) and dom/sub (who is leading/following). It's sort of like how in the animal kingdom licking can either signal submission or dominance depending on the species. "I am signaling my inferiority by servicing my superior." versus "I am signaling my superiority by doing things to my subordinates." Exac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 10:49 PM |
| 2 | Men are hugely responsible for "hoeflation."This is not how it works. Men, myself included, have sex drives that are functional and strong regardless of how many friends we have or where we get "validation" from. Friendship and sexuality are entirely different. Deployed infantrymen in warzones, forming some of the tightest non-sexual bonds you could ever make with another man, still get upset at wives and girlfriends being back home. There is no amount of nonsexual validation or camaraderie that can sexually satisfy someone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 02:36 PM |
| 7 | If the orgasm gap wasn’t a thing and you orgasmed every single time you slept with someone, would you increase your casual encounters more?And no, hotness is nothing. It’s like looking at a 2D canvas. I guess that's one of the best ways I've seen it put. Maybe not the comparison you're expecting, but I've heard that one of the reasons why people like erotic fanfiction and fanart is because they already have a connection with the characters via the original canon. It also kind of reminds me of the "What's in a Waifu?" series of video essays where a guy went into detail about the character design and writing of various women in anime… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/26 02:33 PM |
| 6 | The Hands That Rock The CradleMy go-to experience would have been homeless people. It's absolutely possible to have tons of negative experiences but still sympathize with them as a group. Indeed, you can even have the logic of "I don't like homeless people on the train, which is precisely why I support housing." After all, the individual problems have systemic causes. The high person on the train or bus is much better served being high in their own apartment rather than public transport all day. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/26 12:42 AM |
| 5 | The Hands That Rock The CradleExcellent analysis. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 12/05/26 12:41 AM |
| 1 | Men do NOT need to “do better”.But sexual loneliness is a different kind. Blame male sex shaming. There's basically no sex positivity in society for men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/26 11:32 AM |
| 2 | It annoys me how angry stupid sexist shit makes mewomen have to worry about not being killed It's frustrating when people act like women getting murdered by a date is somehow a realistic, rational fear. Yes, it happens and it's tragic, but it is used as a way to paint all men as potential murderers without a grounding in how rare it is at the population level, and in comparison with other crimes. At a base, most homicide victims are men. Women's homicide victimization rate by intimate partners is 0.9 per 100,000. Of course, in a nation of milli… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/05/26 01:44 AM |
| 3 | On HasanIt's the same old virgin shaming, but with inverted logic. Old logic: A real man can get sex from women, and if he's a virgin he's a loser and other men are right to look down on him. New logic: Women don't have sex with bad men, so if a man is a virgin he must be a bad person and women are right to reject him. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/05/26 01:22 AM |
| 19 | Debunking a graph on lesbian DV I found on twitterI agree with OP but I'm just confused. Why wouldn't people who report female perpetrators be an exclusive subset of people who report IPV? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/05/26 01:15 AM |
| 2 | This was in my School’s Library Social Justice sectionWhen someone says ‘men are trash’ they connect sexual harassment to masculinity. That’s not an act of hate, it’s an act of illumination By this logic, calling members of a racial minority ">group< thugs" has no racist connotations, because you're basing it off of reports of crime and not literally making assumptions on skin color alone. It just "illuminates" the fact of the crimes occurring. Even the deflection to masculinity is like saying "I don't hate this group I just hate their culture." Th… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 10/05/26 08:29 PM |
| 1 | Men do NOT need to “do better”.What's manipulative about saying they're lonely? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 03:17 PM |
| 1 | Men do NOT need to “do better”.It's more that we're afraid of judgement and shaming. There are different kinds of social bonds, and sexual loneliness is different from other kinds. It's just that the mainstream doesn't really validate sexual desires as much. A huge part of being a man is people trying to downplay and deflect your sexuality. It's like the last thing in life people want you to do. People are far more likely to say "You don't need sex, just make friends." than "You don't need friends just have sex." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/26 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss?Thanks for the nuance, but I also want to clarify that it's not even about "fighting" in the martial arts sense: most people are in "everyday life" mode and can essentially be attacked at will regardless of their RPG stat-blocks. If someone punches me on the face at the grocery store, then the crime is completed, even if in theory I could win if we squared up and went for a full match. I've been victimized by violent crime and one of the biggest difficulties is the shock of something even happen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 06:14 PM |
| -3 | Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss?Violence is almost never a pure contest of strength, and being the stronger person can actually make you afraid to defend yourself. Male strength is supremely overrated and actually using it is extremely taboo. Most men have no experience with true, real violence and would be just as vulnerable as women to something bad happening. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 02:45 PM |
| -4 | Do you think biological realities playing into heterosexuality is a topic that leftists/feminists are ready to discuss?If no one is forcing you to do something, through physical force or coercion, you are the more powerful one. God forbid we women have the slight power of being the pursued and the selector I don't get this. Men are just as vulnerable to violent crime as women, since the main advantage violent criminals have is initiative and aggression, not strength. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/26 02:15 PM |
| 1 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.you are using color of law I'm using the law: the Constitution reserves family matters to the states. There are Constitutional rights involved with parents and children (like right of religion) but this does not necessarily mean state domestic violence and child custody laws are invalid. What do you mean by color of law? I mean really are you ok with people taking children? In accordance with due process, then sure. Parental rights are not absolute and children have a right to not be abused. | /r/MensRights | 08/05/26 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.It's a conspiracy theory because it literally alleges a conspiracy. When someone alleges that lawyers advise their clients to make false abuse claims, they are saying that two people are secretly working together for a nefarious purpose. That's a conspiracy. No evidence was presented in support of this claim. Are you saying children have no right to see fathers without those fathers being extorted? Extortion involves money, and child custody in itself doesn't involve money. Child support and chi… | /r/MensRights | 08/05/26 07:59 PM |
| 5 | Why do men complain about women choosing assholes but simultaneously shame men who are simps and treat women with kindness?What do you mean men expect emotional assistance from women? Many men are taught it's wrong to share feelings and that were just a burden on others. People hate men's emotions. If anything men are taught "Happy wife, happy life." and to appease others. Talking to my loved ones is like taking a dump on the carpet. It just seems to "stain" and upset them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 05:44 PM |
| -2 | Men do NOT need to “do better”.I went out and made more friends and it changed my life. I never really considered hopping into a relationship as a fix. I think you and men define loneliness differently. We use lonely to mean without a girlfriend because male sexuality is hated. It'd not that men are lacking human connection in general and only think of finding it in a relationship. Friendship and sexuality are entirely different social needs and feelings. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 05:39 PM |
| 1 | Why do men complain about women choosing assholes but simultaneously shame men who are simps and treat women with kindness?emotionally unavailable What does this mean to you, specifically? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 05:36 PM |
| 13 | Why do men complain about women choosing assholes but simultaneously shame men who are simps and treat women with kindness?Simps is beyond kindness and more like a lack of self respect. Like 90 Day Fiance "sending my love money for utilities" when they've never met, or excessive donations to streamers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 05:35 PM |
| 4 | Men are shamed more for sexual freedom nowadays than womenMy big question has always been how sex shaming even happens, especially in a post grad environment. I sometimes see manosphere members shame women in general, a specific celebrity, or they complain about OF or something, but that's more of a board political talking point or internet personality drama. I suppose some households are really conservative in their upbringings, but I don't see ordinary, independently living adults personally shamed for their private sex lives, since a huge part of it… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/26 04:06 PM |
| 0 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.You haven't actually shown how this affects due process. You're just reiterating the claim of the original post, with the added conspiracy theory that lawyers advise their clients to lie which you alsp haven't provided evidence for. Either way, people lying in court isn't a due process issue. This post is a legal word salad. Now, go start and argument. When he raises his voice, she calls the cops, ge gets removed. This is enough for a restraining order Show me the statue or case law that says cl… | /r/MensRights | 07/05/26 11:25 AM |
| 0 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.There doesn’t have to be any factual basis in nearly 45 states for a parent to misuse the legal system to destroy a parents access to a child because the State Statutes violate the Supremacy Clause This is a bold claim. Name me a state that does this and point me to the exact statute or case law in which there does not have to be "any factual basis." Police need probable cause to make arrests, for example, and that requires evidence such that a reasonable person would think a crime has been comm… | /r/MensRights | 07/05/26 03:24 AM |
| 0 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.The original post claims that fake domestic violence claims violate due process. Due process is about what rights people have and the procedures used to handle them. You claimed it implicated the first amendment, the amendment which deals with the five freedoms of speech, association, press, religion, and assembly. Domestic violence claims do not implicate these rights. | /r/MensRights | 07/05/26 01:58 AM |
| 1 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.I don't understand. What's the connection of domestic violence claims to speech, association, press, religion, and assembly? | /r/MensRights | 06/05/26 09:34 PM |
| 0 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.By single witness I meant the victim themselves. Also, physical evidence often depends on witnesses who say they collected it. The victim is often an extremely good witness given the proximity and time to observe the defendant, and their ability to give the full narrative. | /r/MensRights | 06/05/26 11:13 AM |
| 0 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.Would you be fine with any single witness charges? I think that burden of proof would be too high, since forensic evidence often doesn't prove consent or nonconsent, and almost no sexual crimes would occur in clear camera footage. | /r/MensRights | 06/05/26 02:39 AM |
| 0 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.Solid evidence, no more "he said, she said". Thanks for your answer, but what about the fact that credible witness testimony can already be considered evidence beyond a reasonable doubt? This isn't something unique to rape. Requiring something more than a single person's testimony would make a lot of rape and other crimes legal. Even physical evidence relies on witnesses to say they collected it right, or tested it right. | /r/MensRights | 05/05/26 04:46 PM |
| 2 | Custody-By-Cop Wreacks Havoc on Men, Evicorates Due Process.What due process is being circumvented? What procedure isn't being met? | /r/MensRights | 05/05/26 01:28 PM |
| 1 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.Witness credibility and weighing competing testimony is a key part of the legal system in any case of any crime. That people can lie is not really an issue specific to rape. | /r/MensRights | 05/05/26 12:05 PM |
| 0 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.If that was the case, no one would ever falsely claim they were raped. Judged and juries make mistakes in cases. That's part of the cost of having a justice system. Across thousands and tens of thousands of cases some innocent people will be punished. It doesn't mean the reasonable doubt standard isn't being followed. What's your alternative to that tradeoff? | /r/MensRights | 05/05/26 12:03 PM |
| 1 | European lawmakers have voted in favor of defining sex without active consent as rape.The definition of consent doesn't change the burden of proof. Where does it say that someone's needs to give ongoing consent, or that the defendant needs to prove it? | /r/MensRights | 05/05/26 12:01 PM |
| 4 | What is it like wanting female validation badlyIn all fairness, the chemistry of the brain gets physically desensitized to "good" things. It's call the "hedonistic treadmill and it applies to all sorts of things. You just can't eat your favorite food every day and have it taste the same. Anyone who has indoor plumbing is basically a billionaire to the Naked and Afraid contestants, but even to poor people it might not feel luxurious. There's the whole "Sex is like air: when you have it you don't think about it. When you don't have it it's all… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 09:03 PM |
| 4 | What increases your sense of self-worth outside of romatic/sexual validation?I think the clearest way to see this is to flip the problem and advice. Nobody would say "I want to make friends." and get told "Actually, you need to have casual sex/get married/etc. first." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/26 03:19 AM |
| 15 | Why do (some!!) men that sex robots/robot gfs will be a legitimate replacement for real romantic relationships with a human women?"AI girlfriends" make more sense as advanced "anime waifus" (or other fictional crushes) than replacements for real partners. It's a fictional character, except one that can "talk back" in a sense. Chatbot flirting isn't really anything that erotic fiction/fanfiction wasn't already doing on some level. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 11:11 PM |
| 2 | What increases your sense of self-worth outside of romatic/sexual validation?If you want game logic I'd say it's more like one of those games where the central mechanic is juggling mutually exclusive types of "currency" or "resources.", or where there is an extremely high cost of conversion. In theory, I could have gotten very bad grades growing up but had everyone around me say that I just had unusually harsh teachers, but that's a lot more difficult to believe than just having good grades in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 07:15 PM |
| 6 | What increases your sense of self-worth outside of romatic/sexual validation?I would say that there's definitely a division in my life. There is a Work Me, Family Me, Personal Me, and so on. All of them can have their accomplishments and feelings of self-worth. Sometimes there can be support from another group, like if family tells me I'm good at my job, but I couldn't feel truly good at my job unless I saw results at work or got compliments from friends, family, and workers. As I just recently commented in another post on here, sexual attraction is a very unique kind of… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 06:59 PM |
| 8 | What is it like wanting female validation badlyCertainly I have nonsexual things in life I'm proud of, but again, it's like the difference between a regular "good day" and some kind of supernatural encounter that you'd write a whole book about. Maybe if I got more sexual validation the "high" would subside into a normal emotion, the way that even a lottery winner can get depressed, or that a supermodel can feel ugly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 06:52 PM |
| 18 | What increases your sense of self-worth outside of romatic/sexual validation?There are different kinds of self-worth like there are different nutrients. They're not interchangeable. Self-worth isn't money that can come from anywhere. I can't get familial love and belonging from a friend, or get professional validation as a coworker from someone who is just a family member. Or at least, people inside those spheres matter far more than people outside. Someone who is not a boss or coworker can say "You're good at your job." but it's best when a customer, boss, or coworker s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 06:49 PM |
| 36 | What is it like wanting female validation badlyThe feeling of being attractive to someone is something like I've heard people describe drug trips. It's simply not an everyday life experience. "Love" and "intimacy", in that peer-to-peer, sexual sense, are things that nothing else in life feels like. Parental love is nothing like it. Hobbies and personal projects are nothing like it. Nothing I have ever done in my entire life feels as good, because it is so instinctive, powerful, and unique. One time in college I matched with a woman who said … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 06:28 PM |
| 4 | Did we just witness an “end-of-the-beginning” moment?Schodinger's Dot Com: The internet is simultaneously just a bunch of "terminally online" hyperminority of weirdos whose opinions don't impact or reflect the real world, and the foundation of human society with profound impacts on every aspect of modern life. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/05/26 03:11 PM |
| – | I feel like straight dating is flawedThe Goomba Fallacy is one of the best things to keep in mind in internet debates, especially when talking about huge populations like "men" or "women." Basically, the Goomba Fallacy is that sometimes, what looks like hypocrisy is when two people in the same group just have different opinions, so it looks like "They say X, then they say Y." Certainly, contradictory attitudes within a group can be a problem, but that's a different problem than hypocrisy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/26 03:19 AM |
| 21 | Many "intersectional feminists" have a very shallow understanding of intersectionalityAs an autistic man i get interpreted as a predator, the kind that is both hiding his intentions and is so brazen you can clearly see my intentions exist and are evil The enemy is both strong and weak. Misandry holds that bad men are simultaneously hidden threats (so all men are suspect) but also so obviously repulsive that women can intuitively "smell" and actively avoid them. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/05/26 04:52 PM |
| 11 | Many "intersectional feminists" have a very shallow understanding of intersectionalityThe oppression black men face is the intersection of racism and misandry Exactly. I saw a post on another political sub about how black men often feel the need to be passive to not be seen as dangerous, and I commented that this is just a racialized version of what many men already feel. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/05/26 04:42 PM |
| 0 | unselected men should not feel moral guilt/responsibility for women’s dating choices"Men should hold their friends accountable!!" why should we? it clearly works for him? I don't get this response. Why isn't it simply that "I don't know about my friend's sex lives."? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/26 03:02 PM |
| 11 | Men need their own way out of romantic dependencyAt least for me, the sex drive is a social drive. Some men are fine with paying, but for me, I do not think I can "pay for sex" because the whole point of sex for me would be mutual desire and pleasure. The literal actions of "having sex" would not make me feel the same, like how paying someone to play board games with would not be "having a friend.", or how hiring a maid to clean up is not the same as living with people who all help out with chores. I do not want to be the "real work" someone h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/26 03:05 PM |
| 42 | Men need their own way out of romantic dependencyI don't want sex and relationships out of a proof of masculine success. I have an inherent sex drive that simply can't be fulfilled by any kind of platonic intimacy. Parental love, professional satisfaction, friendship, none of it is the same as being sexually attractive to someone, which I've experienced only a handful of times in my entire life. EDIT: To add nuance, one factor is that people sometimes make it harder on male virgins by attributing their lack of success to personal or moral prob… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/05/26 02:36 PM |
| 6 | “Men would love to be sexually objectified”As a male rape victim, I've said that it's like a starving person being force-fed food, and that predatory attraction, for me, was still genuine attraction. That's part of how sexual predators operate: they can make a lonely victim feel attractive or loved. A lifetime of not being desired can make someone incredibly vulnerable to attention, especially predatory-level attention. It's like getting a life-threatening dose of painkillers when you're also in actual pain. Objectification was great unt… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/26 05:09 PM |
| 6 | A story of radicalisation: A young student who grew up in a “liberal bubble,” with a model dad teaching her equality (and that women are better), now believes misandry and aggression against men are necessarypatriarchy is in power so your arguments will ALWAYS win and have biased stats proving them even if you won’t admit it Literally the logic of a conspiracy theorist. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 29/04/26 12:13 AM |
| 31 | A story of radicalisation: A young student who grew up in a “liberal bubble,” with a model dad teaching her equality (and that women are better), now believes misandry and aggression against men are necessaryNot only do I believe that, in general, misandry in its true definition is a valid “prejudice” "Not only do I believe that, in general, racis-" This account is no longer available | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/04/26 02:34 PM |
| 1 | What is your vetting advice for women?Once again, I've never been in the position of a woman dating a man, but my strategy would be to initiate at a low level, and see if the man gets frustrated and wants more commitment, or even wants to slow down. Basically, if a woman kissed a man on the first date and didn't text back, what would his response be? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/26 11:03 PM |
| 4 | What is your vetting advice for women?I've never been in this position before, but I'll take a crack at it. Offer some kind of nonsexual intimacy (i.e. kisses, cuddling) early to gauge their reaction. Basically, give as much intimacy as you are comfortable and safe with, and then see if they are satisfied or want something else too. Put him in a "situationship" on your own terms and see if he wants more, or if he remains at "A woman touched me and that's awesome!" A man looking for commitment might be disappointed at consistently be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/26 08:11 PM |
| 1 | Why do so many men have a victim mentality when it comes to romance and dating?The kinds of factors that impair romance and sex also impair friendship. Like I said, in HS/college you have incentives and logistics in place. If you don't care about baseball, you may play out the season because your family will be upset if you quit, your teammates may be people that you live or go to class with, you want to say "baseball team" on your resume after graduation, and it may even fulfill some obscure physical education requirement for a degree. There's also the fact that HS/colleg… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/26 04:57 PM |
| 3 | Why do so many men have a victim mentality when it comes to romance and dating?Why don't you follow your own advice? You say "attend more social events, approach more women, develop more hobbies" The hobbies that women enjoy aren't necessarily things that young, single women who are actively looking for men enjoy. Once high school and college is over, the adult world has insane variability in people and life, which actually makes it worse. When you join a club in HS/college, it's basically guaranteed everyone will be at worst 4 years apart, and there's huge interia to be s… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/26 04:29 PM |
| 4 | Is there anything at all that you feel like men need grace for?This is what gets to me: people seem more upset at the idea of extreme solutions to the problem rather than just validating it. Deep down, I think a lot of people do in fact acknowledge sex as a need: look at anyone with a sex life and tell them to give it up, and they won't be as happy as a "put together" virgin supposedly should be. Plenty of things are "needs" without people resorting to accusations of slavery or dehumanization. We know that people need food, or water, or personal belonging, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/26 05:21 AM |
| 2 | Is there anything at all that you feel like men need grace for?I think it's unfortunate men can't even talk about it without people assuming they are the "wants sex" type of lonely instead. This is kind of two sides of the same coin. A lot of people, myself included, will say "lonely" as a euphemism for "sexless" because there's a big double standard in how single vs coupled people are allowed to talk about sex. There's a huge push for men to never express sexual desires in terms of being a "need" or something that they benefit from having fulfilled. The id… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 06:11 PM |
| 2 | Is there anything at all that you feel like men need grace for?Thank you for this. Obviously there are some severe life problems that should ideally be taken care of before someone dates, but the love of therapy and personal resilience has almost made the idea of "damaged goods" mainstream in a new package. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/26 06:05 PM |
| 10 | Why is it assumed that the same content that young men are getting rage baited by has no effect on women?This is a good point. There's a kind of fallacy that pops up in some political rhetoric that goes something like "My group's grievances are legitimate concerns and lived experiences. Your group's grievances are just Chomsky-style consent-manufacturing in service of some ulterior motive by people who aren't in your best interests. When I say something is a problem, I'm just reporting a real thing that exists. When you say something is a problem, you're fearmongering and creating hysteria. My soci… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/04/26 05:22 PM |
| 1 | It's 2040. Sex robots are still not mainstream. Here's why.People falling for LLMs "Her" style is something I can see happening, and I'd add that it probably wouldn't replace much of anything already. I will admit to flirting with LLMs on occasion, but ultimately, it's really just self-insert romance/erotica where a computer does most of the writing. It's absolutely not like dating or even flirting with a real person, and nothing happens that a person couldn't type into a Word or Doc file themselves. Someone who "dates an AI" is probably just going to b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 12:40 AM |
| 1 | It's 2040. Sex robots are still not mainstream. Here's why.Another aspect of physical robots that people might want is robots that initiate and do their own actions. If someone literally just wants a hole, then existing disembodied toys already suffice. If all someone wants is a "hole with a face on it", then technically a hyper-realistic, non-robotic doll is enough. The real capability gap is sexbots that are spontaneous and active participants. Something that hugs back, touches back, or can walk up to someone and say "Hey, are you ready?" However, tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 12:36 AM |
| 3 | It's 2040. Sex robots are still not mainstream. Here's why.Hmm, that's a good idea. It'd be like the equivalent of having a "back massager." "This realistic, conventionally attractive robot with 95% anatomical accuracy is just a physical vessel for my favorite LLM and can also cook me eggs before I wake up." And then there would be the other 5% of the anatomy somewhere else, hidden like any other toy. Having to subscribe to a sexbot would be hilarious in a dystopian way. Imagine the 2040 reddit posts about people literally "locked out" of their sexbot b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 12:29 AM |
| 1 | It's 2040. Sex robots are still not mainstream. Here's why.For discreet use, I think one solution might be renting, or even some kind of robo-club setup. Robots probably won't be able to have truly relationship-like interactions for decades, so the main use of them will only be for a few hours at a time almost purely for some LLM-style flirting and then sex. In any other market where people need something but buying isn't worth it, there's the rental market. Think rental cars on vacation. For shipping, I think robots could be shipped in "discreet packin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/26 12:22 AM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I'm happy for you but I'm sad to say that this is just not how romance or sexuality works for almost anyone. It'd be great if we could just fine gold, but men and women alike need to find gold in mountains upon mountains of "gold ore" that is almost entirely just dirt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 06:40 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I don't think this is a realistic way to approach life. You seem to be thinking that I'm saying that people should date others we don't like, but I don't think you understand that women who like us are rare, and that we can only learn if they do by trying to date them, since they don't seem to actively show their attraction, if at all, until enormous amounts of effort and time are expended. What do you think a man's daily life experience is like? And when he finds a woman he likes, what do you t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 06:26 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I don't understand. The point of dating is to figure out if you like someone. Do you mean it was instant attraction? If so, men feel instant attraction to women all the time, it's just that then number of women who are attracted to us is infinitesimal. That's why we have to cast a broad search, because women who like us are borderline impossible to find. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 05:57 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.Dating as a man is the process of being filtered by women. The "one" is within a mountain, and we don't get to choose who we date. We can't just find one. The woman a man ends up in a long term relationship will have to be from the pool of men he has seriously dated. That pool must be drawn from the pool of woman he has managed to get multiple dates with. That pool must come from the pool of people he has first dates with. That pool must come from the women who message him to arrange a date. Tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 05:50 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I don't think a universal strategy dehumanizes people. "Universal" social strategies are everywhere. I don't feel awful when someone says "Hi." to me in person. Unique messages might be slightly more successful as a whole and are obviously better side by side, but I don't people truly understand the sheer volume that is required. Dating as a man feels like being a professional gambler, like the difference in having a 1 in 1,000 chance of winning vs a 3 in 1,000 chance of winning. Skill matters, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 04:47 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.This approach has already been tried. Putting a lot of effort into a message has never affected my success rate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 12:15 AM |
| 0 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.That's what I've hoped for, but I haven't had a single positive experience in years. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/04/26 12:13 AM |
| 2 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I've sent out hundreds of unique messages over the years and never gotten a single date out of it. I also sent out a generic opener recommended by my female therapist to around 170 women, and none responded. That's the part I don't think people understand. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 11:26 PM |
| 1 | I have a better metaphor to replace the "fish/fisherman" rhetoric.I agree that it's not perfect. I was mainly trying to get across the idea that men struggle at attracting women in the first place. I've never felt like the "buyer" in dating. I don't get to the point where I can filter or select and compare. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 10:36 PM |
| 11 | For men who only listen to themselves, they never want women’s dating advice to work.But women's advice is usually specific to themselves and women they know This lines up. A lot of times when I've asked my female therapist or family for dating advice it feels like they don't really actually know how to attract women. Consciously or nor, it just feels like they only know how to talk about their husbands with the serial numbers filed off. I've asked on other subs what makes a man look attractive or what I can do to look better and some commenters will talk about what their boyfri… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/26 04:10 PM |
| 8 | Why do toxic guys always seem to have girlfriends, but normal guys struggle?If u have ever heard a toxic guy say something like ' no one will love u like I do' they are being truthful. No matter what you have been through, what u Haunting, and I agree. I've told my therapist "Predatory attraction is still genuine attraction." People have the idea that sexual predators and toxic people are manipulators, and some of them probably are. However, some predators really are "lovers" in a sense, just those with no respect alongside the love, who love their partner like a favori… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/26 02:53 AM |
| 3 | What do you feel like hinders you most in dating?The commute is a key part of this. There is a huge difference between having 6 hours left in the day when you're done with work vs 8-9. High School: class ends at 3 or 3:30, your club or sport starts at 3:45 in the fieldhouse or band room in the same building. More or less 100% efficiency there. Or you're driven home by a bus or family. You get home maybe 4:30 at the latest. Bus rides are a place to interact so even if it's a long ride you can still make friends. College: 20-25 minutes would be … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/26 06:32 PM |
| – | Males are sexualised too, just through expectation rather than objectificationI don't get this at all. As a boy/man, it was expected for me to basically he asexual. Sure, people expect teenage boys to be teenage boys, but the ideal is a teen or man who doesn't date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/26 04:39 PM |
| 9 | What do you feel like hinders you most in dating?This is another one. People act like social problems are a skills issue but don't realize that the "supply" of available friends or people to date shrinks up too. It's like looking at a food shortage and saying that people need to coupon more. Childhood and college years is basically like an entirely separate, pro-social society. It's not "government assigned friends/girlfriends", but the whole point of a school district is that it's mostly made up of locals. If you have a crush or make a friend… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/26 12:12 PM |
| 25 | What do you feel like hinders you most in dating?On the deepest level, I feel there is a fundamental disconnect between the kind and amount of relationships and sex men and women want. Some people say women have "responsive desire", and if that's true then men are caught in a chicken and egg problem. Can't create chemistry without connection, can't connect without chemistry. Personally, it's the logistics of adulthood. Freedom brings loneliness when suddenly you're no longer surrounded by hundreds or thousands of single people your age every d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/26 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Comp heterosexuality is much more of a man thingThe ideal that being a virgin shouldn't matter sounds fine and is true in a moral sense, but I don't really think it holds up in practice to the virgin themselves. I don't think we can expect men who don't have sex to be happy when a lot of people who have sex are unhappy at losing it. Entire fields of medicine exist to fix and preserve the sex lives of people who already have sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/04/26 04:02 AM |
| 1 | Most of the female talking points on this sub are wrong for Genz.But that's media, not real conversation. I hear that women talk about sex, but that's not really public. I've never seen it for real. If a man wanted to talk about sex, where would he go? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/26 04:03 AM |
| 1 | Most of the female talking points on this sub are wrong for Genz.Well what do you mean? "Sex, politics, and religion" are the big three people don't say in public. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/04/26 03:34 AM |
| 1 | Most of the female talking points on this sub are wrong for Genz.Where do people talk about sex in person? Sex just isn't a topic of public discussion. It's not talked about at home, at work, in stores, in parks, libraries, etc. Even pride month is just a month for people who aren't straight, and even that's not celebrated everywhere. Sexuality just doesn't have a welcome place in US public life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 10:53 PM |
| 3 | Most of the female talking points on this sub are wrong for Genz.The US. I have broad age range filters and don't see any significance in who I like or try to talk to. For example, I've heard that some women in their 30s have been divorced and don't want to get into another long term relationship quickly. That's a nice backstory for a character in an erotic fiction, but people of all generations seem to react the same. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 03:10 PM |
| 18 | Most of the female talking points on this sub are wrong for Genz.I'm a bit suspicious about Gen Z women wanting casual experience. I don't see different generations having different sexual behaviors or activities. Everyone seems to see sex as taboo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/26 06:15 AM |
| 1 | Men present a false narrative in datingWhat about people who don't have kids? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/26 03:14 AM |
| 2 | Women hypocritically dismiss men complaining about not having sex, yet get angry if a pro life person tells them not to have sex.I do know sex is a part of marriage, I just get really confused for a few reasons: There's more to a relationship than sex, so even a sexless marriage should be incredibly fulfilling and better than being single. There's more kinds of sex than PIV, so "abstinence" doesn't even mean "abstain from any intimacy." I've even heard oral sex is often better, so I'd see it as a win-win. All the "people don't need sex" arguments apply to abstinent couples too. Why should a married couple care about not h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/26 03:19 PM |
| 3 | Women hypocritically dismiss men complaining about not having sex, yet get angry if a pro life person tells them not to have sex.I don't understand why the abortion debate starts at the woman already being pregnant. How did she get to that point? The question is basically "Why would a woman need abortions if she could just not have a sex life?" In theory, if the "sex is not a right/need" crowd is right, then this should be incredibly easy to do. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/26 11:26 AM |
| – | What keeps men coming back to this sub?Sex and manosphere talking points are a taboo topic, and pretty much anywhere they can be debated openly, especially across sex and gender lines, is almost inherently good. The actual discussions. A bad day on PPD can beat a good day on most other subs where people just downvoted or get blocked/banned/deleted. I would much rather have someone cite a debunked study or cliche talking point than just see "-5" and my comment gets hidden. Also, due to the way reddit notifications work it's easier to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 11:02 PM |
| 6 | Why do you think so many of you guys fall for the "just world" fallacy?But people do claim that a "bad attitude" about women is a turnoff, and that some guys wouldn't struggle if only they respected women or whatever. People generally don't insult lonely men by saying "Even though you're angry at women it's not a problem if you just have more charisma." You have people who do stuff like insult ICE agents as "incels." Sexually successful conservative men get called incels. The term has evolved to essentially mean "You are a horrible, unpleasant person who can't and … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/26 02:06 AM |
| – | Forget the pills. The views expressed here represent a specific internet culture and don't reflect real life.What do you mean? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/04/26 12:42 AM |
| 1 | If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools)People saying they'll commit crimes if they don't get sex is awful, but my point is that paid sex really isn't sex the way that men say they need. Men want fully consensual, nontransactional sex that is validating precisely because it is fully consensual and free. We want a woman to have sex with us for the same reasons that we want to have sex with them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/26 01:04 AM |
| 1 | If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools)Thank you. Did the satire catch you off guard? Was it clear what I was trying to get at? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/26 12:09 AM |
| 0 | If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools)I get that. It's just that people would all know that "hire a maid" is not an appropriate response in a relationship advice subreddit, but people will say "just pay for sex" when someone very clearly wants to date someone. And again, people seem so focused on being pro-worker they forget that it is a crime the consumer has to pay money to commit and keep secret or face massive professional and social consequences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/04/26 12:08 AM |
| 0 | If people cared about housework, they would just hire a maid or do chores themselves. People need to stop getting validation from people they live with. (Real post and April Fools)The post is satire of how people suggest sex work to men. People seem to be taking it literally. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/04/26 08:49 PM |
| 0 | People agree that women arent primarily visual like men, yet still fall for the idea that majority of men are unattractive, just because women dont get wet from men's profile pic and ageBut what do women reliably respond to? Men respond to women. That's what heterosexuality is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 10:18 PM |
| 1 | Age gap posts regarding “power imbalances” ignore that young women have (by lightyears) the most sexual power of any groupSexual power does exist, in the form of options to get what you want, and be able to reject others easily. I'm not saying it's a replacement for "real" politi al or economic power, but on an everyday social level having 10 people willing to date you is better than having 0 people willing to date you. It's like when Beyonce or someone sang like "I can get another man in a minute." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 08:48 PM |
| 1 | Men: would this be a dealbreaker for commitment?Many men are afraid of raising someone else's kid or being used for money. For kids, I don't want kids or to be a stepparent. Any worry over whether it's really someone else is "N/A" since I wouldn't date someone who wants or has kids. For money, living together wouldn't be being used as much. I'd want her to pay a share of rent and utilities but I wouldn't demand a perfect 50/50 since most of this would be "my" or "her" house anyway. Financial entitlement seems to be shown early. One time I mat… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 02:33 PM |
| 7 | Men: would this be a dealbreaker for commitment?I wouldn't care. The kind of woman I'm attracted to would be attractive to tons of other men too, and I just want to get there. I don't need to be first or even her best. A woman's being sexual with me wouldn't be negated by sex with other men in her past. If anything, supposedly having sex with celebrities then dating me would almost make me a bit thrilled, like why did she select me next? Assuming I was not being used for money I'd be fine, since you'd said everything else would be perfect. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/26 01:03 AM |
| 0 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.I did have one caveat: niche dating works if it is along ethnic or religious lines, or some other setup where the woman also shares the niche preference. To put this generically, if there is a room of 100 men and 100 women, and 10 men / 10 women belong to a subculture, then any man in that subculture is basically 10x as valuable, if the woman in that subculture only want a man inside that subculture too. Niche dating works if it's an area where women also struggle i.e. very religious women who w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 10:56 PM |
| -2 | Why exactly is women wanting money from men worse than men wanting sex with womenSex is something that's shared, money is exchanged. If someone has sex with me that would be incredible since it meant someone wanted to have sex with me. If someone in a relationship just cared about my money, then it's like having sex with me had negative value that needed to be made up for by something else. More philosophically, sex is an experience that doesn't take anything from someone else. Someone's body is not "spent" or "wasted" or "ruined" by sex alone, not literally. Money, by defin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 10:24 PM |
| 6 | You're just not that guy. Its ok. There's nothing wrong that.The idea of "you just have to find one" or "It's better to be 9/10 to 10% of the population than 6/10 to 90%" is fine in theory, but I've run into a few barriers in trying this strategy myself. Niche dating seems to fall into one of two issues: first, it's just regular dating but with a smaller pool, or two, the beauty standards remain unchanged. Niche dating really only seems to work from an ethic/religious angle where the norms are self-reinforcing i.e. you're a traditional Christian, and thus… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 07:14 PM |
| 1 | Forget the pills. The views expressed here represent a specific internet culture and don't reflect real life.Your comment is a good reason why men come here: stuff like "health" and "fitness" doesn't seem to matter until the very extreme top end of the scale. I don't drink or smoke, brush teeth daily, and so on. I've lost dozens of pounds and kept it off after being overweight most of my life. It didn't matter at all. Even after all those improvements I still achieved literally nothing with women. I'm currently going for a six-pack because I don't know what else to do. Stuff like "communication" and "p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/26 03:43 PM |
| 14 | Forget the pills. The views expressed here represent a specific internet culture and don't reflect real life.Most people join these online communities because of problems in real life. I joined because I've been trying and failing for years to get dates, despite almost every other aspect of my life being fine. I'm not alone, and I think there are deep biological and cultural reasons for why men struggle. There's a lot more to dating than how good or bad you are as a person, the same way "the economy" is more than people just having better or worse resumes. Some romantically/sexually successful people a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/03/26 09:05 PM |
| 32 | Does the left not understand they're inadvertently validating what the manosphere has been saying about them when they make insults regarding men's bodies?I've seen people call ICE agents incels. Like, forget the rights violations and assume they're dateless. That'll show em. There's a lot of people who want to make "dateless conservative man" some new trope. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/03/26 03:32 AM |
| 68 | Are online gender wars just lower class men arguing with upper middle class women?I think that the dating wars are mostly middle class people talking past each other. Poor people can get together for survival and cultural reasons. There is a certain level of income where cohabitation with someone is simply what needs to be done, and a romantic or sexual relationship can either happen from that, or it can feel more natural for someone to move in with a boyfriend or girlfriend than someone of the same sex. I don't think rich people have a problem dating, at least in that "I hav… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 11:45 PM |
| 2 | In 2026 it genuinely feels like men are leveling up at a way faster rate than women, and it’s changing the whole dynamicI think there's something that needs to be cleared up here. I think women and men mean different things when they mean "putting in effort to be attractive." When men talk about putting in effort to be attractive, we mean "at all." 30 year old virgin, haven't-had-a-date-in-years lack of attention. We're not aiming for the six-pack because it's what society says. It's because we are trying to find anything that works from an absolute standstill. It feels like our beauty standards are the bare mini… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 03:05 AM |
| 1 | In 2026 it genuinely feels like men are leveling up at a way faster rate than women, and it’s changing the whole dynamicThere's nowhere to reliably meet women in real life either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/03/26 03:01 AM |
| 5 | In 2026 it genuinely feels like men are leveling up at a way faster rate than women, and it’s changing the whole dynamicI've handed the keys over to professionals in terms of my photos. My match rate remained at less than 0.5%, and a good chunk of those matches were scammers too. I've worn clothes picked out for me by female family members and stylists, and gotten a haircut recommended a female therapist. I've lost weight. I have better skincare. Nothing ever works, except for when I switch my dating profile to "Looking for men" and can get dozens of passive likes an hour. Profile quality doesn't matter nearly as… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 10:57 PM |
| 4 | In 2026 it genuinely feels like men are leveling up at a way faster rate than women, and it’s changing the whole dynamicOP is talking about physical stuff like going to the gym. To OP and your point I don't think either men or women are becoming more fit. Women's effort is somewhat overstated the way I see it. A lot of women are true artists but most are not, or even do much fashion stuff at all. Most men don't need makeup on a woman to be sexually attracted to her. Unless it's literally visibly knotted I can't see a man turning down sex on a woman's hair if she's otherwise fine. I don't think a 25 year old woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/03/26 10:16 PM |
| 1 | Women are the safest gender(USA)Violent crime isn't about who can win a fight, and most men couldn't really defend themselves either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 02:39 PM |
| 1 | Men often don’t really know what they’re attracted toMen don't have options, so we really can't go far beyond physical attraction in our preferences. We can't state traits with the implicit condition of "...for people I'm already attracted to who are attracted to me." since that pool is effectively 0 anyway. I start with baseline physical attraction and see what I can work with. Certainly a lot of personalities and behaviors can turn me off. I don't like insecurity, for example, but I can't really filter on personality upfront. Also, men stating p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/03/26 01:21 PM |
| 1 | Are men lonelier?I agree I am not entitled. That's kind of the point. Acknowledging someone's power is not entitlement or hate. It's a woman's choice to have sex with a man, and if a man wants to have sex with her, it's 100% up to her whether that does or doesn't happen. This, in turn, means that it is 0% his choice after he has initiated. The ball is in her court. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/03/26 02:56 AM |
| 42 | What do the 'not all men' crowd have to say about the atrocities happening in Ozoro?I wasn't there, and neither was any man I know. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/03/26 12:06 AM |
| 4 | Why is it that young women are so into kinky sex?I think a lot of men are really shocked by the fact that BDSM and kink is more of a subculture than a counterculture. Many straight men, myself included, are in for a shock when it turns out that it's not some isekai fantasy world where women ask men out, or where the average man has the pull of an anime protagonist. Famously, FetLife is literally designed to not be a dating site, since you can't search or filter by location, orientation, age, etc. It has the same problems as mainstream culture,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 10:40 PM |
| 16 | Why is it that young women are so into kinky sex?I don't think they are. I've had a FetLife profile for years and been to munches and clubs. I've made some general observations: Kink dating is almost an exagerration of regular dating problems. Men can be even more creepy and unsafe towards others. Women can be even more closed off. Even in femdom (female domination) or FLR (Female Led Relationship) you still have to ask women out as the man. There is a huge difference between fantasy and reality that filters heavily. A major city with millions… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 09:02 PM |
| 3 | If women were physically stronger, we'd be seeing a lot more cases of female on male sexual assault.I disagree. Sexual violence and coercion is way more complicated than just strength-on-strength: The amount of force and violence used to commit a crime is surprisingly much less than the amount required to "win a fight." A mugger takes a wallet by intimidating the victim, not getting a KO and taking the wallet afterwards like their victim is a defeated enemy dropping loot in an RPG. Being taller doesn't stop anyone from being in a position of emotional power. There are people who make us feel l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/26 02:26 AM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?This is like that joke about the rich and poor being able to sleep under bridges. Yes, in morality and law a man can refuse consent, but as a practical matter basically no man outside of a harem manga is in a position to refuse the advances of a horny, actively pursuing woman, since those advances just won't be made in the first place. The overwhelming vast majority of heterosexual encounters are those in which the man asks and the woman has full veto power. It's not like if a man gets to reject… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 05:26 PM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?I don't lament the choice. I lament the choice never being made for a yes. You can acknowledge the power people have over you without wanting them to not have that choice. Men want sex. Women can choose to not have it. That's good, but a man having sex depends on a woman's choice. His sex life is not the result of his life, but her. This is a basic power dynamic that straight men have to succeed in, and it's completely valid to express anger at failure if it's not directed at any specific person… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 05:20 PM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?But women are the last link in the chain with full veto power. Again, morally that's fine, but from a practical perspective, a man doesn't decide to have sex. The person he wants to have sex with does. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 04:58 PM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?Men don't get to be active either. What are you talking about? There's nowhere to be active in a way women are receptive to. Besides, once men make a move, it's entirely up to women to accept it or not. That's fine morally, but as a practical matter it does mean men lose all control over whether consensual sex will happen. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:53 PM |
| 2 | Q4W: Where Should A Man Actually Go To Meet You?I understand body language. Women never give off tells. People are completely closed off in public. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:35 PM |
| 0 | Are men lonelier?How can a man complain about women not dating him without "blaming women?" At the end of the day, sexlessness can only be solved through sex, and that is 100% up to another person. Men don't have control over their sex lives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:29 PM |
| 3 | Are men lonelier?I want to experience sexual love. Love from family, friends, coworkers, and so on are entirely different emotional experiences. I want to be called something other than "handsome" by someone other than mom or grandma. I want to get the kind of compliment you don't get from a coworker or parent. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 04:09 AM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?I am a rape victim myself, and am very much aware. I actually... [EDIT: originally said "know more about sexual assault than most women", but I since realized I might have been thinking of college specific stats than lifetime risk. Keeping this edit for accountability to keep the reply in context.] ...because I've actually experienced what so many women live their entire lives in fear of, and this isn't how it works. Being a man doesn't mean you can defend yourself. I'd say men are just as vulne… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 03:42 AM |
| 0 | Are men lonelier?I've tried to do some investigation, and I honestly don't know if straight women are "built different." Still, to your point I have read of lesbians having better sex even if it's not necessarily more frequent. I don't really buy the idea that danger or sexual repression has much to do with it, since gays and lesbians overcame a lot worse than what straight women and men deal with. Sexual shame definitely matters to individual people, but on a population level I feel like if a sexual minority ca… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:35 AM |
| 0 | Are men lonelier?I agree that horny women exist and are rare, but it seems to me the rarity is such that they effectively don't exist. I don't really have any stats right now, but I imagine that getting "pumped and dumped" or "used for sex" is far more of a woman's experience than a man's. Any personals board is all but guaranteed to be a sea of M4F ads with 0 comments, or maybe just 1 from a moderator. If there's multiple comments it's sometimes just them "bump"ing the thread back to the top. Funnily enough, I'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 01:12 AM |
| 3 | Are men lonelier?If men really just wanted sex they would mostly hire prostitutes and be cured. Yet most men who report being lonely aren't interested in prostitution. That's because paying for sex doesn't give the same experience. I and a lot of men want the experience of sex with someone who is attracted to us. We want to be valuable in and of ourselves, to "be the prize." Having to compensate someone for having sex with us is literally the opposite. It's like telling someone "If you wanted the dishes done, yo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 12:40 AM |
| 2 | Are men lonelier?By wanting sex being predatory, I mean stuff like how there's no place where male heterosexuality is truly welcomed. People cater to it for money (i.e. porn, sex-sells advertising), women put up with it for various reasons (i.e. survival or duty sex), but there is no heterosexual equivalent to Grindr or a gay bar or bathhouse. There don't seem to be women who likes penises, in and of themselves, the way gay men do, or the way straight men like *checks notes* almost literally any part of a woman'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/03/26 12:34 AM |
| 15 | Are men lonelier?I know you disclaim this but "lonely" in a lot of these discussions is a euphemism for sex, because openly wanting sex as a man is seen as predatory and shameful. Either way, my take is that we are social primates, and we need social approval as a mental health need. No, "sex" and "validation" are not "needs" like food or water, but you can't expect people to be mentally healthy without some of it. We're not entitled it from any particular person, but as social animals we "need" it from somewher… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/03/26 11:58 PM |
| 1 | People aren’t having kids because it’s an objectively hostile environment for men to date and marry.One time I pointed out in another forum that criminals and poor people can still get girlfriends and wives, so I as a law abiding middle class citizen shouldn't struggle. They called me an incel and "no woman wants to date an incel." | /r/MensRights | 19/03/26 01:17 PM |
| 1 | [Debate] The dating market framing itself is part of the problem, for both men and womenYou don't assume people have an objective value to call something a market. Different people like different foods but steak is more expensive than bread because of supply and demand. The art market is literally a matter of taste. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/03/26 11:52 PM |
| 5 | There is an adgenda in certain progressive spaces, to downplay the indifference many men have towards romantic relationships with women.He used the Kafka trap, by saying only creepy men worry about coming off as creepy to women This is basically the left-wing version of "A real man knows his way with women." or "If you're law abiding you have nothing to fear from the police." Also, shouldn't they acknowledge that a lot of social anxiety is totally rational these days? The sexual revolution destroyed a lot of old norms but no new ones were created. Dating is a complete minefield these days and there is no standard script to tell … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/03/26 09:19 PM |
| 23 | Feminists think that MTP not being considered rape is better for men.Honestly, the delineation between sex acts in sexual assault doesn't exactly make sense to me anyway. At most, I can see a valid distinction between non-penetrative (i.e. groping genitals) and penetrative (going inside orifices) acts. Penetrative sex acts have more potential for injury and STDs, and I suppose if you really, really, really want to compare trauma it'd be scarier to be penetrated than to be touched. However, I agree that I don't get the distinction between MTP and rape, as they'd b… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/03/26 08:57 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.That's fine for you, but ultimately shifting the goalposts. We are talking about sex and dating, not making friends with (nonsexual) benefits. Unless it results in intimacy, I don't care. I am not upset because I don't have friends. It's an entirely different need that A. I don't have that much and B. Is fulfilled elsewhere anyway. Would you go to a motorcycle sub and try to explain how great walking is for your health? That's what it's like when people try to say friendship has value on a datin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/03/26 01:35 PM |
| – | Modern men are struggling with dating because they’re too fatI have lost and kept off 40 pounds, and am in the high end of a healthy weight with visible muscles on my calves and thighs. Nothing improved. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 09:38 PM |
| 3 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.This doesn't address gender dynamics | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 02:10 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.You were talking about child abuse. Either way, people go through way worse than social rejection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:55 PM |
| 5 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.We are talking about flow, not stock. How many people have no problem is irrelevant to considering the issues of how many who do. If employment was 99% we can still say there are massive barriers to the 1% who can't. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:45 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.People forget that blaming someone instead of offering help is the other side of the coin of blaming everyone else for your problems. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:17 PM |
| 5 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.This is like saying the economy is fine as long as 1 person is employed. A man who struggles but eventually finds a girlfriend wouldn't have had any problem as a straight woman or gay man. Likewise, we can't deny it's harder for lesbians than straight women even though some are married. We live in a society where problems hit some groups harder than others. Individual success doesn't mean that systemic factors aren't holding others back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 12:34 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.You don't understand the post. A given man, whatever his flaws or improvements, is blown away by his straight female or gay male equivalent. Thus the dynamics are most important. No matter what his qualities or flaws, a straight man will have other common denominators (like being a straight man) that hold him back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 12:07 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I had lack of success, then horrific trauma (kidnapping as an adult), then continued lack of success. It's not the thing that changed, just an additional burden, and not even my own family knows 1% of the trauma I've been through. I keep up the poker face 24/7/365, weekends and holidays, around people who have known me my entire life. Believe me, random people can't tell what's underneath. Even still, it's yet another trope: the idea that our lonely man must give off some kind of women repellent… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 11:22 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.This shouldn't be a factor in online dating, and I don't come off as off in person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 05:10 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.Work and professional groups sound dangerous. I've seen graphs like that, but I don't understand the specifics. Like how people actually meet "through friends" or "through family." Do you just ask parents to find someone? I am in the US. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 04:03 AM |
| 0 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I've already tried. I've already talked about how an equivalent man does better in gay dating, so I don't get your point. I have improved myself so much and it's never mattered. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 03:36 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I just don't understand how it happens. Maybe some people meet before graduation, but after, I don't see any real avenues where men and women meet. How can men even find 1 partner, let alone multiple like in the study? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 03:20 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I don't see women liking love and romance. Where can straight women be locoated? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:27 AM |
| 3 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.It's not unethical. He tried. He just failed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:22 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I've tried matchmakers and they have failed too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/03/26 01:21 AM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.In older generations, maybe. I don't see how that can happen today post grad | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 10:52 PM |
| 3 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.No they don't. The gay switch proves that orientation and gender, not individual merit, is what's most important. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 10:18 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I'm not forcing anyone. I am just pointing out the contradictions. People say that X prevents women from having sex, and then I point out that similar demographics faced X and worse and aren't affected. Therefore, the explanation of why women do not have sex is wrong. It's not that they should. It's that the explanation for the "why" is provably false. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 10:17 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.Well the problem is that other people assume individuals are the problem, and hate single men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 09:04 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.He is a sex therapist. I was trying to get help on how to have sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 08:33 PM |
| 0 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.No, he said that women who might otherwise be fine with free casual sex don't have to do it because of sex work, or that the women who enjoy sex work (outside of the money) would be in the normal dating market were it not for the money. Basically, if a woman enjoys sex with random men, and has a choice between doing it for free and doing it for money, there is a strong incentive to do it for money despite the legal/ethical/health/etc risks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 07:50 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.But my sex therapist is a professional. He's supposed to know this stuff. I thought he had an interesting idea, and it makes sense. If men are willing to pay for sex, this creates a paid market that will take away from the unpaid market. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 07:37 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.What do you mean manufactured issue? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 07:30 PM |
| 5 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.That's my point. There are larger forces at play than individual failure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:53 PM |
| -2 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I thought they might help me with my problems. I was wrong. They're as useless as all the others I've tried. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:53 PM |
| 0 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.The problem is that even though people say that women need a different approach or time or place, they never specify it, and when they do, and I do it, it's always another "Your princess is in another castle." That's part of what I'm talking about. There is never a "Rural gay man who grew up having no one to talk to moves to the city and downloads Grindr." moment. There's never a moment where Roy Kroc goes to McDonald's and has an almost spiritual experience ordering fast food for the first time… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:50 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.But a given man, if he was gay, would get more success. Gender dynamics are the main driver of success and failure. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:47 PM |
| -2 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I don't see what you mean. I'm trying to show that the problem isn't me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:46 PM |
| -1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.But the point is that out of all the things I try to improve myself, the only thing that works is changing my profile to be open to men. Therefore gender dynamics are the problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:46 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.Are you agreeing with me? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:45 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I don't see how this is relevant to me. Male sexuality is shamed too, especially gay male sexuality, yet it doesn't stop us. Gay sexuality can literally be a crime with virulent, incurable STDs going around and still have a thriving hookup culture. If Stonewall Inn existed in such a time, where are straight women to be found? Besides, what do complaints like men not putting in effort have to do with me? Shouldn't that make me stand out all the more? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:45 PM |
| 0 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I don't get it. I have a lot of what I want in life, but I don't have sex. I don't see how pursuing it directly turns people off. It feels like yet another kafka trap. If you want something other than sex from a sex partner, then you can get it somewhere else. If you just want sex from a sex partner, then people don't like that for some reason. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:43 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.Why? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:42 PM |
| 3 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I already explained this in the post. Other factors are also common, and larger than the individual. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 06:38 PM |
| -1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.In theory friendships can be fun, but not everyone actually likes or needs friends, and what do you do when friendship fails to yield a relationship? Do you just keep those people in your life when you are not getting what you want? Friendship to dating seems very inefficient: it denies one person someone who genuinely wants a friend, and it denies one person a relationship upfront. I feel like making friends to date is dishonest for everyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 05:31 PM |
| 0 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.This was an idea from my sex therapist, and while I disagree with it, I wanted to share it. I do think it's an interesting thing to suggest that women who would otherwise have casual sex for free get into sex work instead, because the actual market for that exists. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 05:26 PM |
| 1 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.To be fair this was my sex therapist's explanation. My view of sex work is that most of the women don't actually enjoy it, because if they did they'd do it for free (i.e. gay male hookup culture). You can monetize a woman's body because women don't want to have the kind of sex with the frequency men do. On the other hand, gay sex work is rarer due to the opposite dynamic: why pay for what can be mutually and genuinely enjoyed for free? My therapist's view is that the women who do enjoy it are fa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 05:13 PM |
| 4 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I understand it's someone's responsibility to work within their own circumstances, but "common denominator" argument is meant to imply the person is the problem. It's a way of saying "Dating is actually not that hard, you're just a bad person." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 05:08 PM |
| 11 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.I agree that "common denominator" is a probably a misused or overexpanded meme now that you mention it. I can absolutely see how someone with 3, 4, or 5 consecutive failed relationships might have a problem they can personally solve. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 05:06 PM |
| 2 | "The common denominator is you." No. There are multiple common denominators like being a man trying to date a woman in modern times.My point is that there are other things in common. People act like it's a gotcha when there are other and bigger things at play. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/03/26 04:58 PM |
| 1 | Is AI dating necessary or unhealthy?Hard disagree that 25 is "trash." It's right when people get settled into post-college careers. Either way, I think AI can be fun for the occasional fantasy or roleplay. It can mimic intelligence enough to be a fun illusion when someone is in the mood, but it lacks real sexual agency and attraction like a real person. It can't spontaneously initiate sex or dirty talk anymore than an AI video game opponent can "surprise" you with an attack. And of course, no physical body to touch or be touched. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/03/26 04:31 AM |
| – | Would you choose to be born a woman?In another life or world, maybe depending on exact circumstances. Redditor in Another World: I Argue Online and Now I'm A Woman? Either way, I wouldn't want to be a woman as I am now. It would feel like admitting defeat and I've built up too much of my life experience as a man to be comfortable, even if it was magical and everyone accepted it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/26 06:48 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?The problem is that nothing that I say, do, or am seems to work on any woman, and I never see objective proof of these varied preferences with my own eyes. Its all unfalsifiable. What kind of advice would you give me that you'd take responsibility? What can I do to confirm the existence of women's desire? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 12:03 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I don't understand how you can host an evening when you can't even get people to message or match with you. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/03/26 02:13 AM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?Modern society isn't made for public interaction, let alone with sexual or romantic intent. How do you think this happens? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 09:32 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I am listening to what women say is unattractive in men. I don't know what kind of actionable advice I am supposed to get. Asking women for what they want gets "Different women like different things." or doomer "6 foot, 6 figures" type answers. There isn't really a viable, visible market for men among women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 09:31 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I dont know how to get this across to people. "Being fun" comes later. That is a problem on the date, not a problem in getting a date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 08:21 PM |
| 13 | Question about the influence of online discourse on women's perception of dangerAlso, low level harassment gets treated in the same category as violent crime. I'm sure being cat called is really uncomfortable and sometimes scary, but I've actually been sexually assaulted. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/26 07:31 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?Well how do you know what women even like then and how do you advertise that? Women don't seem to be into men as a baseline and there don't seem to be niche markets. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 05:40 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I don't really understand how that's supposed to be a solution. You can't present yourself in real life unless you get to a point where you're meeting someone in person. That's the problem. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 05:38 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I don't see what you mean. How do I present that in online dating? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:59 PM |
| 2 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?But the problem is that I read online about things that kill women's attraction to men, yet I don't get far enough that the lack of those disqualifiers is a good thing. It's like being a business owner who hears "I hate undercooked food.", and I have properly cooked food, but nobody comes into the restaurant. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 04:54 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I'm talking generally about male initiative. I don't know what is the right way to phrase it. Words and phrases like "seduction" or "she needs to be convinced" or "make her want to have sex" are creepy, but whatever combination of words would be appropriate to you, the reality is that romance and sex simply does not happen to men unless they put in active effort. Consent means romance and sex does not happen without agreement. Men generally want romance and sex first. They need to "get" women to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:44 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?A man can't fulfill his promises if he never gets to communicate to a woman in the first place, or if she actually chooses to date him and see him in action. I'm trying to address a practical problem. Man can't get dates. He reads women's opinions online. They don't like Problem A. If man could only get dates, Problem A would not exist for the woman. How does he communicate this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:22 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I don't need a guarantee. I'm trying to address a practical problem. Man can't get dates. He reads women's opinions online. They don't like Problem A. If man could only get dates, Problem A would not exist for the woman. How does he communicate this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:22 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?But wouldn't making it clear these things won't be a problem be part of being attractive? I'm trying to address a practical problem. Man can't get dates. He reads women's opinions online. They don't like Problem A. If man could only get dates, Problem A would not exist for the woman. How does he communicate this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:21 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?How do you get a woman to take a gamble on you? Men have to make women attracted to them. It just doesn't happen any other way for most men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:20 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I'm trying to address a practical problem. Man can't get dates. He reads women's opinions online. They don't like Problem A. If man could only get dates, Problem A would not exist for the woman. How does he communicate this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:20 PM |
| 3 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?Thanks for some of the advice, but I am afraid most of this is irrelevant unless a man can get likes and matches. I am asking for absolute rock bottom from the ground. I cannot message properly if I can't even match. To put it a bit crudely, how can a man who respects consent and loves (or thinks he'll love) giving oral express that to a woman when he can't get likes and matches? What does he say in his bio? What kind of photos does he have? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:20 PM |
| 1 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I'm trying to address a practical problem. Man can't get dates. He reads women's opinions online. They don't like Problem A. If man could only get dates, Problem A would not exist for the woman. How does he communicate this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 03:18 PM |
| 3 | How should men try to present themselves as fulfilling basic requirements?I should have specified I meant about online dating only. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/03/26 02:59 PM |
| 1 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsI've joined plenty but it hasn't worked out due to the problems I've listed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 02:23 PM |
| 1 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsThis is not how modern life works. It's taboo to talk to women in public, and urban design is hostile to human interaction. Likewise, adult clubs and sports almost completely lack the subsidization, infrastructure, motivation, demographic uniformity, and discipline of childhood activities. Where exactly does this social interaction occur? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 02:06 PM |
| 5 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsSocial skills are almost entirely irrelevant in dating problems for men, because we struggle just getting matches. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/03/26 05:11 AM |
| 4 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsBut problems are unique. One intersection of male loneliness is the fact that a lot of men don't get attention from the opposite sex. Like it or not, grown adults with functioning sex drives want to have sex, and sexual connection is a form of social connection that is crucial to a lot of people's mental and physical health. If you don't believe me, you can try going into a birth control or abortion debate and point out how easy it is to just never have sex in your life. After all, friendship is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 10:30 PM |
| 6 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsWhy would socializing help? Women need to be attracted to men in the first place, and women can succeed in dating without socializing. It's the gender dynamics, not social skills, that sets a lot of men back. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 10:27 PM |
| 2 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsIn theory, I can understand "nichemaxxing." I totally get that on paper, it's better to be 9/10 to some and 1/10 to others than be 5 or 6/10 to everyone. However, I've found that subcultures basically have the same beauty standards as mainstream cultures. Trying to nichemax basically just lowers the dating pool without an increase in matches. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 10:25 PM |
| 0 | Never settle” has slowly morphed into “never compromiseFor me, the problem is less whether someone compromises for me, so much as whether I have to compromise for them. I would want someone to be enthusiastic about me, of course, but for me the greater indignity would be me having to lower my standards, not someone lowering their standards to get me. I'd be happy to have them, seeing as they still chose me and I still would have had to win out over others to get them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 10:20 PM |
| 3 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsThank you, and I might give it a shot, but I'm sorry. I wish I could get to a point where it would make a difference, because many difficulties occur before social skills would theoretically matter. i.e. being seen on the apps versus on the date itself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 08:55 PM |
| 6 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsI don't really think intentions or goals matter at the stage most men are struggling with. The problem for most men isn't "There are tons of women who want relationships but I just want sex." A lot of men struggle at the "I can't even get matches." or "I can't even get women to message me back." part. I've tried different dating goals on my profiles and it's not like "Looking for long-term." relationships gets me the gay flood either. Literally nothing makes a difference like switching sexual or… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 08:02 PM |
| 10 | Most men who are struggling with dating have not exhausted all optionsI've tried losing weight, working out, getting better clothes, getting better photos, going to speed dating events, trying exercise classes, and so on. It's gotten to the point where I am saving up for matchmaking services. Except, none of it has yielded a single date in almost three years. I genuinely think that there is just a fundamental, biological gap between how much men and women are sexually interested in each other, and everyone is worse off for it. I've tried and will keep trying, but … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 07:42 PM |
| – | Men who are struggling with dating, do you feel you’ve exhausted all resources?I've tried joining clubs and meetups, but they generally are Mostly or all men. Married people. Women who are outside my age range. The club isn't well structured to socialization, like an exercise class. Either way, the logistics of extracurricular activities are far harder as an adult than a kid. As a kid, everyone is stuck at school and the club is in the fieldhouse a 2 minute walk away. As a kid, a club means scholarships, something to put on a resume, or maintaining parental approval. And o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 06:36 PM |
| – | Men who are struggling with dating, do you feel you’ve exhausted all resources?Yes. I've tried losing weight, working out, getting better clothes, getting better photos, going to speed dating events, trying exercise classes, and so on. It's gotten to the point where I am saving up for matchmaking services. Except, none of it has yielded a single date in almost three years. I genuinely think that there is just a fundamental, biological gap between how much men and women are sexually interested in each other, and everyone is worse off for it. I've tried and will keep trying,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/03/26 06:15 PM |
| 0 | What do you value?A and B. Attractiveness is something I want and financial instability is something I want to avoid. Personality and company is a bonus. I am fine with that being mediocre or even below average as long as it doesn't contradict core values of me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/03/26 07:28 PM |
| 4 | There are 3 ways feminists usually use to justify thier cakism when it comes to male gender roles.There's even a thing in game theory about this: the "hawk-dove" game. Hawks fight over resources, getting injured in fights with other hawks but scaring away doves. Doves never get injured, but they share with other doves and concede to hawks. Different combinations of "hawks" and "doves" can result from the exact mathematical inputs and payoffs you put into the model, but the big takeaway is that fighting is costly. There is going to be some percentage of the time where not fighting is better, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/02/26 07:43 PM |
| 8 | There are 3 ways feminists usually use to justify thier cakism when it comes to male gender roles.For me I wouldn't even make it about weapons. As a victim of violent crime myself, it's not a combat sport or athletic event. When most people talk about "biological advantage" or "male upper body strength", they're talking about mom needing her son's help to move the couch, or sports being gender segregated for fairness. We look at the boys outrunning girls or even women, and think that women are helpless against violent men because they are weaker. What people miss is that a lot of violent cri… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/02/26 06:23 PM |
| 48 | There are 3 ways feminists usually use to justify thier cakism when it comes to male gender roles.Another thing is that violent crime is way more complicated than physical strength. The main advantage violent criminals have is choosing to be violent in the first place, not bone density or superior muscles. It's the shock of the attack, not being overpowered arm wrestling style. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/02/26 06:35 AM |
| 5 | "Men create men's problems so men can't complain!"As I said before, this logic is basically the liberal equivalent of "What about black on black crime?" or "What if you exclude gang violence?" It's the same logic: a group can't complain about a problem if some of its own members contribute, or alternatively that some victims deserve it. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 25/02/26 10:43 PM |
| 1 | Online dating is “broken” but somehow millions of people are dating 🤔People say the economy is bad but everywhere you go you'll see employed people. Only the single best candidate gets the job but if only the absolute best person is good enough why is unemployment a single digit percent most of the time? People talk about "mass incarceration" being a problem but most people aren't in jail or prison. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/02/26 12:18 PM |
| 6 | Blue Piller beliving "dont drowns in pussy = bad human"I mean my body was stolen. Sorry. I struggle with how to put it. All I want is a good experience instead of a bad one, but somehow this gets catastrophized. People seem really averse to this idea that having consensual sex can be healing and fun. I mean, we don't demand that people stop going on vacation or eat ice cream until their PTSD is gone, or that if a friend betrays you that you shouldn't try to make other friends. If anything that kind of withdrawal from life is the kind of thing people… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 05:30 PM |
| 6 | Blue Piller beliving "dont drowns in pussy = bad human"I wrote to self help columns after I was sexually assaulted and wanted to have consensual sex. Commenters called me an incel when I took to the comments to explain how hard dating was to me. People accused me of being a porn addict and thought I was putting too much pressure on my partner. This is like saying that a starving person whose food was stolen shouldn't go to a grocery store because filling a fridge is "too much pressure." on the store. Also, my actual therapists and doctors agree that… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/02/26 05:16 PM |
| 2 | What are the problems with dating apps?I think I can still sift through bots. I don't generally see "good" profiles that are scams. They seem to follow a "typos in scam email" strategy where you actually want to be low-quality to filter out the skeptics upfront. Bots for me are easy to spot because they'll just have an instagram handle, or be some static photo of a landscape, or some AI generated cartoon face. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 06:59 AM |
| 3 | What are the problems with dating apps?Elo is actually somewhat of a good feature. For reference, social media without Elo would be seeing reddit posts and communities in an entirely random order. On a dating app with no elo, nobody would get rewarded for having an attractive (in the sense of getting more "engagement") profile. The problem is that Elo seems engineered so that the rich only get richer, to the point where one piece of advice is to "reset" your profile by deleting and remaking it because the score is bad. The Elo on som… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 06:57 AM |
| 9 | What are the problems with dating apps?App Specific Comment: I'm surprised you haven't complained about unicorn hunters. I've tried Feeld and it is mostly a sea of poly people or couples looking for thirds. General Comment: Dating apps are clearly predatory and have become worse over time. Years ago I could get some matches even using the free versions but on premium my match rate is around 0.25%. I think the ultimate issue is just that women are not into men as men are into women, and that even if men and women desired each other eq… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 06:39 AM |
| – | What makes you not to want to date a woman?For me, I would say that my attraction works on a minus system. There are certainly styles, body types, and personalities I am more attracted to or prefer, but I would say that some things that makes me not want to date a person is: Financial instability. I do not care about how much a woman does or doesn't make as long as she has a handle on her expenses and wouldn't become codependent with me. I don't like the idea of someone who might pretend to love me just for the money or safety. I want to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/02/26 01:41 AM |
| 2 | GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes.Wait, is this ironic or not? If so, I've just lived long enough to see some things change and some things remain the same. Political correctness -> Cancel culture Social justice warrior -> "woke" (NPC is a more niche and different term) "Blue check" did a complete 180 on meaning. Twitter used to be a huge site for liberal journalists. Musk took it over, rebranded it to X, now having a verified account has the opposite meaning as liberals left for Bluesky, mastadon, and so on. "Diversity in ficti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/02/26 04:21 AM |
| 3 | The Entire Democratic Spectrum Shames Short MenIn the wake of the shootings, I saw some Reddit comments arguing that arguing that ICE agents were incels. Like, why? Lethal violence by law enforcement is already an issue. You don't have to layer on "I bet they are sexless too." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/02/26 03:25 PM |
| 5 | Discussions of male loneliness always results in some feminists chiming in and oversimplifying the issueMen built the system and so they need to fix their own problems! This is the left wing equivalent of when right wingers say "black on black crime" or "let's control for gang violence." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/02/26 03:19 PM |
| 1 | Discussions of male loneliness always results in some feminists chiming in and oversimplifying the issueThat's actually brilliant. It really is basically just a modern way to call somebody a crazy person. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/02/26 03:11 PM |
| 17 | GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes.That's a good point. I also feel like there's a real sense that we're at some turning point in human history that people are having really big differences on. There's an ongoing sense of "weirdness" in affairs now, a "splinter in your mind" (to quote the Matrix) that is driving a lot of people apart. We have a broken social contract in college degrees being the key to social success. They've basically become the new high school diploma, and that's before you add in any concerns about outsourcing… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 10:30 PM |
| 41 | GenZ women's "icks" are just a manifestation of their innate preference for rigid gender roles and archetypes.I think Gen Z is more bifurcating than turning conservative. The liberal Gen Z people are liberal in ways that people weren't before, while the conservative Gen Z people are conservative in ways people weren't before. I'd also argue that previously unacceptable "conservative" ideas (like evopsych) have become a bit more mainstream. Liberals more progressive In the 2000s and 2010s, the big culture war thing I remember was gay marriage. Transgender people just weren't discussed that much. "Gender … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/02/26 09:55 PM |
| 35 | The narrative around "male/mens mental health" is so oversimplified to the point of caricatureEven consider body dysmorphia (the MH disorder with the highest suicide rate), such as in children bullied for their looks (I myself recall in school being randomly called ugly or other looks-related comments out of the blue, while just sitting or standing around). In a girl, it's considered a mental health issue and a sad situation. In boys, they're referred to as incels and said to have a bad character. Exact same situation - they just happen to be different genders. This double standard hits … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/02/26 08:48 PM |
| 1 | The constant characterization of male sexuality as something 'dirty' needs to stop.I remember going to a formal party in a hotel where it was just a bit too hot. Women's outfits showed their armpits, and some were wearing sandals or other breathable footwear. Us men were just in long sleeve shorts, suits, and long sleeve pants with fully enclosed shoes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 03:56 PM |
| 1 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.I've been bolding my points before AI in my writing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/02/26 03:53 PM |
| 2 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.That's a good term, since "ragebait" is only about angering people, but I definitely think someone can want to invoke another emotion, but not really talk about the original issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 07:27 PM |
| 1 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.Maybe it's not the right word, but I do get the feeling that there is a trend of trying to tie in something "current" to some other issue they actually want to talk about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 07:26 PM |
| 5 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.I understand that a lot of women were historically forced to be in relationships, but I think that even when it comes to voluntary, consensual dating among relatively independent people, some left-wing talking points are wrong. I understand that modern conservatism can be grating, but at the same time, I can't really see why men in the 90s or 2000s would have been better. I can see it as a factor why someone doesn't date today, but I can't see it as the reason why dating has gotten harder over t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 06:55 PM |
| 1 | I think left-wingers sometimes "grift" on dating difficulties too.Very interesting argument. So basically the "men and women are drifting apart" is reverse causation? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 06:29 PM |
| – | Male sexuality just seems borderline antisocial to meThe age thing is a preference, while 80/20 is generally thought of as exclusivity. For example, a 40 year old man will probsbly, if we are talking purely about sexual attraction, prefer a 25 year old over a 40 year old. However, he can find both attractive. It's not an exclusive preference in the sense of only dating people in their 20s. On the other hand, people who complain about 80/20 are not simply upset that an average guy still gets sex but that his girlfriend would prefer someone hotter. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/02/26 01:45 PM |
| – | CMV: Rejection is hotIt just seems like a viral marketing stunt to me for an in person dating event. I don't think it's literally trying to convince anyone to think turning down or being turned down is arousing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/02/26 01:04 PM |
| 2 | I absolutely hate to admit it but the release of the Epstein files is exactly why people get anxious over potentially false claims of sexual assaultOne big thing that sets SA apart from other crimes is that there's less mystery, which means that there's less to investigate. That's why we call people "rape accusers" and not "burglary accusers." Old rape cases even used to call the victim, even if believed, the "prosecutrix", the way a "prosecutor" charges someone with burglary. In a burglary, a citizen says "My home was broken into. I didn't see it happen, but here's my home security camera footage.", and so the detective or public gets to p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/26 08:07 PM |
| 25 | I absolutely hate to admit it but the release of the Epstein files is exactly why people get anxious over potentially false claims of sexual assaultI think what people are upset with is that some people didn't disclose their connections. It's less "guilty until proven innocent" and more "It seemed like you thought it would blow over; what exactly did you do and why didn't you tell or distance yourself as it was going down?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/02/26 08:58 AM |
| 4 | Sought after men's behaviour is making it hard for normal women to get an LTRI think OP is referring more to gender ratios than raw attractiveness. The idea of Chad is that a 10/10 guy in a room of 99 average men and 100 women will get dozens of women coming after him, leaving dozens of average men with nothing. OP is referencing the idea that if there are 60 women and 40 men, that's 20 women who are at risk of not getting anything, which raises the chance to tolerate men's behavior or for men to explore their options more. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/26 02:40 PM |
| 1 | Case Study - Where do you categorize this man?Honestly, I think he would be a success story. He's literally a guy with only one option who gets a woman who has options. The only real problem seems to be a single instance of technically-not-cheating where she breaks up, hooks up, then gets back with our male main character. This is basically like a Hollywood fantasy scenario where the cheerleader falls for the average guy, is tempted by the male villain, but ultimately returns to our underdog hero. As for her, I don't think she would be sett… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/01/26 02:44 AM |
| 7 | What do women & feminists mean when they say "Men need to do years of extensive inner work & therapy, heal their trauma's and sort themselves out before they can begin dating and relationships with women"?As a male rape victim, I've been fed this line by some people, and it's never made sense to me either. So much of rape recovery rhetoric is about being "ready to have sex again" but I've been ready and wanting sex for years and can't get a single date. It's kind of a weird paradox where my current state right now would be the end point of someone else's healing journey, but my problem isn't that I don't want to have sex again, the problem is that I can't have sex at all. Yeah sure, I have trauma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/01/26 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Can the average man tolerate a woman being better at something than he is?Absolutely. I don't need to be better than the woman I'm dating, not career wise, not even physical wise. I am just not insecure about that stuff. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/01/26 09:36 PM |
| 2 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.Yes, they did. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 02:27 PM |
| 3 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.Yes, they knew it was for dating apps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 02:27 PM |
| 7 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.I had a similar experience. My attitude when solving dating problems is to err on the side of overdoing it. I'd been bothered by my photos for a long time, and I like to say "This is the absolute best solution I can afford, and if it doesn't solve the problem I know for sure it isn't this alone that's hurting me.", so I saved up and spent around $1,000. No effect at all, and of course people chimed in with their opinions in my offline life. Some said to mix in amateur photos, some said that prof… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 06:38 AM |
| 3 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.This is a good attitude to have. On a certain level, you're working with algorithms that only the actual companies fully understand, so promoting a dating profile is basically like being a YouTuber, minus the actual deep metrics that you have. You have utterly no idea if 100 people have seen your profile or 10,000, or how many times you've been left or right swiped. All of this kind of stuff would be incredibly basic data from a content creator standpoint. Even a 1990s website can have a basic "… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 06:34 AM |
| 7 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.I've had friends and family take photos and they are not good at taking photos. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 03:41 AM |
| 14 | Apparently my unpopular opinion is that I think dating is easier than ever.I paid around a thousand dollars to get professional photographers to take the best photos of me, and it didn't make a difference. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/01/26 02:42 AM |
| 9 | For men who say they’re afraid of being used by women, what are the things she’s using men for? What are the signs a woman is using a man? What are the signs she isn’t using a man?I'm afraid of being used for money or time, or that gender roles are being placed upon me. To be clear I open doors for people. I can cover a friend's drink or even meal. I can cook. I can clean. I protect my loved ones in public. I was the driver of a carpool one time. I can do unpaid labor whether it's assembling furniture or helping people with their medical needs. However, what I resent is the gendered expectation that, simply because I'm a man, I should act as someone's chauffer, bodyguard,… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 11:26 PM |
| 1 | Men who think the ability to do sex work is a "female privilege" vastly overestimate the *economic* feasibility of sex work for the average womanI don't like the sex work industry and have ethical concerns, but just food for thought as this is a debate flaired thread: Even if sex work is not a "privilege" for any random woman, it is notable as one of the only fields where women make more than men. The highest earning non-sexual people who do parasocial entertainment (i.e vtubers) are often women as well. The top sex workers and sex-appeal entertainers are like the very few men, but mostly men, who become politicians. Most people fail and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/01/26 11:12 PM |
| 3 | Men can also desire a small percentage of the population. They just pretend it’s the average woman.I can admit this is true depending on "average." If we mean "statistical average" then a standard like "no overweight or obese women, I'm fine with an average body" is a contradiction. They'd be asking for the fittest top 20-30% of women off the bat. If we mean average in a "Mediocre in absolute quality" then it could work even if only 10% of the population was "average looking.", the way someone can say someone is an average comedian even if everyone else at the club is bad. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 02:23 PM |
| – | How can dating work efficiently in a world without gender norms?I understand that the norms of gay community evolved under entirely different circumstances but it would be my dream for straight people to have some sort of "handkerchief code." What someone wants just as thing to wear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 05:26 AM |
| 9 | Why don’t women get guns?Five main reasons, coming from a victim of violent crime myself. Situational awareness is most of self-defense and street smarts. Survival onion logic (don't be there if you can help if, don't be seen if there, don't be targeted if seen, don't be hit if targeted, don't get damaged if hit, don't die if damaged) tells us that if you're fighting back with lethal force you've already lost in a sense. It means someone predatory was able to find you and get you into a situation where only the most dra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 01:14 AM |
| – | How can dating work efficiently in a world without gender norms?There would be norms, just along other lines. For example, perhaps there would be public spaces where it was normalized that if you're sitting a certain way, you're open to being approached. I mean, same-sex dating is a thing that occurs, so even if the roles assumes by an individual couple look pretty traditional (i.e. "masc" lesbian and "femme" lesbian), it wasn't gender that determined that. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/01/26 01:07 AM |
| 15 | What (if something) did you learn here that sticked with you?I can't think of anything specific now, but it's fascinating to see people actually discuss their lives. You say this sub is just "shitpost after shitpost" but at least people actually talk and argue here rather than mass downvote. Even if the arguments get very repetitive, at least they're being had. A bad day on PPD is easily better than a regular day on another sub as far as discussing gender and sexuality can go. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/01/26 03:07 AM |
| – | Would you rather be someone's best sex or best partner overall?For me the idea is that as unrealistic as it is for me to have a "experimental phase" where I'm having all sorts of wild fun with new people, it's probably even more unrealistic to expect a single person to be up for all that variety. I understand that some individuals are very experimental, but I figure it's easier to meet 5 people who are into either A, B, C, D, or E rather than find a single person who's into everything I could possibly want. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 08:19 PM |
| – | Would you rather be someone's best sex or best partner overall?I suspect that sex would get old once I actually get around to having it, but if I accepted average sex right from the start I'd always wonder what I was missing out on. My ideal life trajectory is to have a lot of experimental fun, then settle down with a more well rounded person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 05:27 PM |
| – | Would you rather be someone's best sex or best partner overall?Best sex ever for short term, I am in a place in my life where my emotional needs are generally met elsewhere, and a "We both have amazing sex but don't care for each other that much." relationship would be fine for where I'm at. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 04:35 PM |
| 7 | What hoops do you have to jump through while trying to date?It's initiating everything. Basically nothing happens without me trying to bring it up or do it first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 04:14 PM |
| 1 | Question/challenge for all (there's no flair for that sorry)Outside of asexuals, I would have to say almost all single men seeking have a sex drive higher than most single women. I worded this very carefully: Single men seeking = men who aren't just single, but actively looking. Partnered men are probably somewhat satisfied. Low sex drive men are probably genuinely happier being single and not seeking. Most single women = I've heard stories of women who are wild with their male partners, but I suspect such women find dating easier and are committed to qu… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/01/26 04:10 PM |
| 3 | 30s are perhaps the hardest years to date (even if you're youthful)Early to mid 20s is probably the worst. You hit The Cliff of academic life ending. After high school or college, you will never be surrounded by as many single people of the opposite sex your age ever again. You won't be established in your career and finances yet. You are either living alone and in a lot of debt, or still living with parents. You have to compete with younger men still in the academic scene and older men who are more established. In short, you lose out on possibly the best place… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/01/26 06:37 AM |
| 2 | What would you say was the biggest online/pop culture misandry stunt of 2025?It was also treated like a documentary despite being fictional. It was basically the left-wing equivalent of Lady Ballers: it's the story that isn't actually happening in real life so people tell it to themselves. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/01/26 02:50 AM |
| 9 | Are fully straight women who don't watch lesbian porn minority?I understand the "it's about female pleasure" thing in the abstract but the question I think OP is getting at is "Shouldn't it be being same -sex be a turnoff?" I mean, gay porn is about male pleasure but a straight man wouldn't find it appealing. That's the confusion I think they are getting at. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/01/26 02:05 PM |
| 13 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?What stops me isn't the fear of being rejected, it's the certainty of it. I've never seen it put this way before but it makes perfect sense. The the decision calculus isn't "There's a one 10% things should go right but I'm afraid of that 90% chance it won't." It's "The odds of success are so low or nonexistent that it's literally never happened before." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 07:25 PM |
| 11 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?I've actually been to a singles mixer recently, but it was heavily lopsided with men. Even then, it seems women go to singles mixers with their friends, or to actually enjoy the activity in itself. I asked one woman at the event what she was looking for or why she was here, trying to segue into what I was looking for. She gave a platonic answer ablut thinking it would be fun to go with her friends, or something. Perhaps she also hoped to meet someone, but she seemed genuine about it just being m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 06:10 PM |
| 22 | Why do so many men complain about being lonely yet refuse to approach women?Because there is nowhere in society where women signal men to approach, or where it's socially acceptable to do to a complete stranger. "Read the room" except the read is always "leave me or us alone." or "busy." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/01/26 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Courting's not a scam, its an effective strategyIf it takes effort to get aroused, then why can't a woman who enjoys sex offer to pay for half the dinner? For example, sometimes I can't really enjoy doing something until I get good at it, which is why I practice. Even if we understand that women's sexuality requires more to get going, I don't see why that burden has to be on the man. Elsewhere in life, people are self-starters. I don't wait for someone to coach me at a sport or video game. I learn myself. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/01/26 06:27 PM |
| 1 | Women objectify and reduce men to metrics but in a different way.I understand it can matter for many people, but my point is more that someone who gets that far has already passed a ton of barriers that most men fail. It's a problem for someone who is attractive enough to get into the bedroom, but can't actually have sex. The main struggle for men seems to be getting any sexual attention at all, not a hookup that gets called off the moment the pants come off. I'd file it more as a "sex life problem", like erectile dysfunction, as opposed to a dating problem. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/01/26 01:07 AM |
| 5 | Women objectify and reduce men to metrics but in a different way.I know men care about more than sex, I'm just wondering how penis size is a factor when the only times I can see it being important is after a woman is already attracted enough to seriously consider sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 02:08 AM |
| 16 | Women objectify and reduce men to metrics but in a different way.I don't even understand why penis size is a thing. It could only be a factor if either you're with a particular woman and she sees you naked, or you've had sex before and have a reputation among women you've never met. In the first place, she was already attracted to you enough to begin having sex (if perhaps stop upon seeing it). In the second, it requires them to, again, get to the have-sex part on non-penis qualities first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/01/26 12:27 AM |
| 2 | If you could run one rigorous study on modern dating/gender conflict, what would you test and what do you predict?For an experiment, I'd want to run different paradigms and coaches through a stress test, sort of like how fitness, nutrition, or weight loss studies are conducted. Take 10 guys, whatever number is manageable, and see if they can make things work. So many methods and programs just rely on only the success stories. I want a more objective method. My prediction is that the results will be random or roughly similar: a lot of dating advice is just the same themes in different packages. As another id… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/01/26 01:17 PM |
| 0 | CMV: The concept of "financial celibacy" is petty and unfairI wouldn't say it's abusive, at least from your description, but I would say it's petty. Even if a guy would be shelling out $200 every date for a steak dinner or something, it's not even close to cohabitation level expenses like a mortgage, utilities, insurance, and whatever someone would spend on even a single child since a lot of people get married to have kids. Honestly I wouldn't put too much stock into whatever this trend is. It just feels like a revenge fantasy for me. Even the name seems… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/01/26 06:09 AM |
| 1 | Double Standard of Drunken Sex = RapeThis is what I'm talking about: what exactly do you mean by "having sex"? If someone claims they were raped, they are claiming that someone else did something to them, not that both of them did something together. Mutually incapable people can have victim-perpetrator dynamics: child on child abuse is a thing, even though both can't consent, because one of them is doing something to the other. If someone is doing something to someone else's body against their will, the fact that the doer can't gi… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/25 12:34 AM |
| 1 | Double Standard of Drunken Sex = RapeThank you for the reply. Yeah, there are definitely places that explicitly define it as something men can't be subject to, and that's a problem. I also think a lot of the stats are also unintentionally incidental as well. If a definition of rape involves "penetration" then yeah theoretically this could mean something like a finger or object but it's really only men who are the "penetrators" in most sexual act, consensual or not, forced or not, simply because of anatomy. I just get really irritat… | /r/MensRights | 31/12/25 12:15 AM |
| 1 | Double Standard of Drunken Sex = RapeRape is a violent crime done to someone with force or without consent. Sex is mutual. Someone who says they were raped is not saying "We had drunken sex." They are claiming they were too drunk to consent, or they were forced, or it happened by surprise, or after they refused, and so on. "Sexual encounters" don't happen in the abstract. Rape isn't what happens when one person in a sexual encounter is arbitrarily held responsible. The rapist is the person doing the sexual act to someone else again… | /r/MensRights | 30/12/25 11:37 PM |
| 2 | The days of men cold approaching random women in streets, malls, and grocery stores left and right are long gone and will never come back.Who is getting recorded asking women out? The time it takes for an uninterested person to take out their phone and begin recording is more than the time it takes to see they are uninterested and go away. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/12/25 03:44 AM |
| 13 | “It’s a women’s space” until a feminist has critiques of male spaces.I always hated the "Society was made by X!" line of thought, because it acts like people today actively created the systems, or even that everyone benefits. People also fail to understand micro-authority over macro trends. Yes, white people serve lower sentences on average when you look at an entire legal system, but it doesn't mean that it's a reliable advantage as an individual in a specific case with a specific judge, jury composition, or police officer. I'm a white male SA victim, but it did… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/12/25 08:27 PM |
| 3 | Men severely underestimate how much threat processing women need to do and how much that hinders their pursuit for romance and sex.That's the scary thing, but I believe that for most people there's a huge gap between "I heard someone else did this and I don't see what the problem is." versus actually making an affirmative choice to do it themselves. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 10:37 PM |
| 7 | Men severely underestimate how much threat processing women need to do and how much that hinders their pursuit for romance and sex.I believe you that dating is dangerous, I just also believe that everyone can dangerous in all situations. I never realized how vulnerable daily life actually is, and just how much we depend on total strangers not just deciding to hurt us. I also know how deep rape culture goes. Even if most men aren't actually predators, every man I've had an in depth discussion about consent has some sort of huge moral blind spot. They won't do it, but they won't recognize every kind of assault as wrong. Even … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 10:19 PM |
| 4 | Men severely underestimate how much threat processing women need to do and how much that hinders their pursuit for romance and sex.What do you mean? Sexual predators don't care about consent, so not having a sex life does nothing to stop them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 10:01 PM |
| 2 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.Why does it need to be a trade? If someone is attracted to me then I alone am sufficient reward. As a haterosexual man, I do not need anything else from a sex partner but mutual sexual attraction, as sexuality is something I cannot share with any other kind of relationship. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 07:20 PM |
| 1 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.But isn't lust visual? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 06:27 PM |
| 3 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.So you want a relationship based on lust? Sure, why not? All of my other relationships provide other things. I don't need professional validation from a sex partner. I can get familial love from my family. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 06:17 PM |
| 1 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.What would be realistic to expect? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 04:04 PM |
| 3 | When guys who say “I want to be TRULY desired” or “I want to be wanted for who I am, not what I can provide” they mean they want to worshipped.I wouldn't say worship. Personally, I mean it in the sense of being attractive to women the way straight men are attracted to women or gay men to each other. I want to be seen as a sexual option by default, and anything else is just a bonus. I want to be "screwable" on first glance and my hobbies, job, studies, and personality are cool things too. I don't want to have to change my entire life and still not attract anyone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 03:41 PM |
| 6 | Men severely underestimate how much threat processing women need to do and how much that hinders their pursuit for romance and sex.For me, dating violence is more of a violence problem than a dating problem: I learned the hard way as a victim myself that being upfront about not wanting to have sex with someone doesn't stop a determined predator. Most sexual assaults are by people that the victim knows but stranger and acquaintance assaults still happen, and "people we know" is basically everyone in our lives, not just people we are open to dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 05:25 AM |
| 11 | Do you think that conservatism will eventually die out since pretty much all women don't want to have sex with conservative men?There is a joke/observation I've heard that conservatives reproduce through biology and liberals reproduce through culture. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 12:45 AM |
| 5 | Do you think that conservatism will eventually die out since pretty much all women don't want to have sex with conservative men?No, because the meaning of conservative changes over time, and because there are plenty of conservative women out there, they're just not as pronounced as conservative men online. Conservative men famously struggle and sometimes lie or hide their beliefs to get into relationships, but it's not like liberal men have it that much easier. I'm pretty sure many liberals today might be "conservative" by whatever standards exist 20-30 years from now, or people's views can change over time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 12:44 AM |
| 18 | Thoughts for men who stay mad at womenI've respected women as coworkers, customers, bosses, classmates, teachers, and so on throughout my life. I know they're not here just to have sex with me. I just want to be able to share that romantic and sexual side of human life with some of them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/12/25 12:37 AM |
| 1 | Do men actually prefer if their girlfriend is a virgin?If she's currently choosing me over (n) number of other experiences, then Dick(me) > Dick(OtherDude)*(n) This is such a great inversion of the usual insecurity. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/12/25 11:22 PM |
| 11 | The truly romantically lonely women are rarely "happily single"I wonder if her religious identity has to do with anything? I'm aware that some people may only want to date within their faith, or have conservative family values. A lot of the discussion on modern dating seems to assume you're agnostic, atheist, or a liberal theist who isn't too worried about cross-cultural dating or premarital, recreational sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 08:31 PM |
| 1 | Do men actually prefer if their girlfriend is a virgin?This heavily depends on the definition of "casually." of course. I would assume that any given woman who doesn't specifically have virgin marriage as a life goal has more experience than me. I would expect 1-2 relationships in high school and 1-2 in college as a baseline "normal life", with more if they prioritized dating. Even participating in hookup culture may not be "sleep around casually" if it was very context specific that reliably ended. I could see "Yeah, I slept with X guys freshman ye… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 02:29 PM |
| 38 | Do men actually prefer if their girlfriend is a virgin?No, not for me personally. In real life, I've never heard of virginity being prized in secular liberal culture. As far as I'm concerned this is mostly an online / religious / conservative thing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/12/25 12:00 AM |
| 3 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?Because women are attracted to men? I mean, I'm attracted to women regardless of what hobbies they do. I could really care less about what someone does in their free time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 01:00 AM |
| 1 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?My post was about how "socialize generally" isn't actually useful advice for a lot of men. What does a man do when he needs to specifically seek out women to socialize with? The brutal truth is that for a lot of men our "comfort zone" is already a place of interest and fulfillment. We know we must get out of our "comfort zone" to meet women, but what if we have an otherwise fulfilling life and "meeting women" is the only reason to add more to it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/12/25 12:19 AM |
| 3 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?I am not talking about lack of social skills. I am talking about people who have social lives that just so happen to not have women. Basically, what do men do when they have to do things they don't like to be around women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/12/25 12:09 PM |
| 5 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?But that's my point: there aren't mixed gender social spaces that men also genuinely enjoy in and of themselves. going straight to trying to date is not likely to go well. Why is this such a problem? Why do we have to pretend we want something other than women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 11:07 PM |
| 11 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?If your life is already fulfilling, then hire a match maker. Those kinds of people are exorbitantly expensive. We are talking about thousands of dollars at the low end. When these kinds of services say "single professional", they mean "unmarried CEO", not "any random white collar person with a bachelor's degree." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 11:06 PM |
| 2 | How can we reconcile "Don't go out just to meet women." and "Get outside your comfort zone [if you want to meet women]." as dating advice for men?That's not what my post is about. It's basically asking what men are supposed to do if they stuff they like doesn't have women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 11:04 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Can you share your experiences of breaking up because she was too boring?I don't really know what boring means. The only thing I truly, rock bottom need would be sexual excitement, but if it's lacking "boredom" would just be a euphemism for not being attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 10:48 PM |
| 1 | What is great about therapy?What if you already know who you are but you still have problems in life? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/12/25 03:49 AM |
| – | "But I know so many ugly guys who are married !"Bingo. Look at harem anime: even with a whole group of women, there may still be a "main", "final", or "endgame" ship. Even when the main character has half a dozen 8-10/10 women on his arms the fantasy still ultimately boils down to settling down into long term monogamy. In a way, I think men's love of variety is less for its own sake and more to feel empowered choosing the eventual LTR. I guess the ultimate fantasy isn't necessarily a harem but settling down without settling: to have reliable … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 03:27 PM |
| 4 | How can the gender- disparity in single rates among young people be explained?I'd have thought it would be the reverse. Dates comes harder for men, so I'd think the bar for "relationship" would be lower. I.e. I imagine 3 dates is "Yeah she's my girlfriend." for a man while it's more like "So yeah we're going out a few times but let's see." for a woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/12/25 07:22 AM |
| 1 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?You're welcome, although the actual cost of the dates themselves is just one thing. The idea that men need to be successful to date women is so deeply ingrained, it's almost like one of those things that everyone agrees with but uses different rhetoric for: "Being put together is attractive." "Men peak in their 30s because they've had time to get established and grow themselves." "Looks, money, status" "Don't worry about dating now. Wait until graduation. Women love a doctor/engineer/lawyer/man … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 02:42 AM |
| 1 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?How does having a career and dating go hand in hand? Men are told to be successful to be attractive, so it's bizarre to be told "Get a career if you want a girlfriend." only for it to seem like women think a career makes it harder to have a boyfriend. There is a huge stigma against unemployed men. Some families have a huge idea of "High school dating is a waste of time. When you graduate and get your job women will like you!" Easier logistics. Dating is expensive and you can pay for your own tra… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 02:15 AM |
| 1 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?What about the men who have an inherent drive towards women? I don't think a lot of men are dating to fulfill a social role. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 02:04 AM |
| 2 | The dating life of an average woman and the dating life of an average man is very differentI don't see what you mean. A lot of men don't need personality and charisma in a woman. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 01:05 AM |
| 5 | The dating life of an average woman and the dating life of an average man is very differentBut shyness in women can be attractive in way shyness in men isn't. A man needs to know how to attract women, but a lot of women simply do attract men. Women aren't generally expected to lead in the early stages, so to any extent social skills matter, it hurts men far more than women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/12/25 12:13 AM |
| 1 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?I didn't mean should in a moral sense. I just meant it in the "wanting should be enough." I'd like to think that straight men and women have enough passion that there'd be plenty of love and sex to go around even in some post-scarcity society. Instead, it seems as though once women are no longer forced to pair up a significant percentage just stop doing so, whereas even men who have no "need" for women still want them. If people stopped eating pizza, the answer "Well people don't need pizza to l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 02:08 PM |
| 4 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?My confusion is why women frame it as a choice. As a man, I've only ever been taught that having a career and dating go hand in hand. Everyone from coal miners to CEOs wants to work hard and play hard, or at least can if they want to. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 03:47 AM |
| 7 | Are most issues with modern dating caused by lack of effort from men?The thing that always bothered me about the "women need men less" idea is that...shouldn't people still want each other? Even in a post-scarcity utopia with "Santa Claus Machines" (3D printers for anything, like a Star Trek replicator) men would still desire women. I understand in the abstract that more women "focusing on their careers" or something leaves less time for dating, but men have always worked and always wanted to be with women. Women being financially equivalent to men shouldn't have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/12/25 03:25 AM |
| 5 | The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user)You mean losing fat in the face? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 01:54 PM |
| 5 | The Top 10% Illusion: Why Dating Apps Still Suck for Attractive Men (as a 10% user)To be clear what kind of physically attractive are you? I'd imagine some kinds of attraction work differently. For myself I'm currently angling for "abs" under the idea that "summer bodies are built during the winter." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/12/25 01:39 PM |
| 3 | Men either have to accept the major advantages women have over them in a relationship or be left singleThis seems like a relationship problem, not a dating problem. A guy already in a relationship can appease his girlfriend in the hopes of keeping her, but it's not like "I'll do anything for you." makes it easier to attract them in the first place. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/12/25 11:57 PM |
| 0 | Men who correct women over any disagreement could face disciplinary action under new Green party rulesThis was internal political party guidance, not a law. | /r/MensRights | 15/12/25 10:34 PM |
| 6 | Slutcon - a training camp for learning how to flirt, etche has a very specific and somewhat obscure kink that he was pretty ashamed of (the idea of being eaten whole and digested My surprise isn't that this exists, but how the pro domme would even go about fulfilling it? I've always understood that there are some sexual fantasies that aren't simply realistic but biologically or physically impossible, or veer so far into science fiction or fantasy that they are less "stuff I'd like to try sometime in my life" and more "literal magic or comic book leve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 01:33 AM |
| 23 | Slutcon - a training camp for learning how to flirt, etcIt's paywalled for me, but from your description I would fear that it's a cash grab. "How do I, as a man, get sex?" is basically one of the things that "sex therapy" really doesn't recognize, and thus isn't regulated by insurance/medical/government standards. If someone says "I am trapped in an abusive relationship?" or "How do I revive the spark in my marriage?" there are actual licensed professionals to see, but "How do I find someone in the first place?" is loaded with grifters. The presence … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/12/25 01:00 AM |
| 1 | Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot?Asking women to do this though, means asking her to put up with legitimate risks from bad actors where the possibility of violence from someone far stronger than her is non-trivially high. For me, it's very much a "I disagree with women on this, because I think the reality is worse than they think." TL;DR It's not so much "Dating is dangerous" so much as "People are dangerous, and dating just so happens to involve intentionally meeting tons of new people, but literally anyone you meet or already… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 01:19 AM |
| 3 | Are Young People Shooting Themselves In The Foot?My main theory is that women simply aren't as attracted to men in general as men are attracted to women in general. Simply put, testosterone is a heck of a drug and men just have a lot more. I really do think that beneath all the culture war noise it really is that biologically simple. Men are hungry, and (most) women are (in general) just not as hungry. Reading about the experiences of transgender people seems to confirm to me that hormones have a far larger effect on our psychology and physiol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 01:04 AM |
| – | Current dating is unfair for men because of woman have rid themselves of the responsibility that comes with the privileges they have, while men still have to still take on the responsibilities of theirsYour idea of framing women's deaths as "casualties" made me realize that even the whole "Men had to fight wars." thing is a bit of an oversimplification. Up until recently, most deaths in wars were from starvation and disease i.e. the things that most civilians died from too. The casualties of pre-modern warfare overlap heavily with the kinds of casualties in everyday life, so the "opportunity cost" of being forced to be a soldier is a lot fuzzier than gender roles would suggest. Less "I got sta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/12/25 12:08 AM |
| 21 | The availability of legal sex work challenges whether “incel” is still a meaningful term.I've never done sex work (as client or provider) to be clear, but I will always be of the opinion that "sex work is work but it's not sex" As a liberal virgin, that's my compromise position. It is the physics of sex, but it's not the chemistry, and it's the chemistry that matters for most sexless men. If it was just about the orgasm or the feeling of human skin, masturbation would be enough. If it was just about the hip-thrusting, then a doll would be enough. If it was just about the warmth or m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/12/25 11:50 PM |
| 1 | Does one ever recover from missing experiences as a youth?Approaching in public just isn't feasible. I've tried it several times over the years and it's always failed. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/12/25 01:49 AM |
| – | This sub is not what I expected based on its title.False. There are occasional good nuggets of insight, like how on a recent post people were talking about the differences in Swedish and US dating culture, and it came from a translated sex-ed/public-service pamphlet. It's nice to know that sometimes, "Western dating is awful" is sometimes just "Dating in the US is awful." Even if a given post or commenter is just complaining or bringing up something we've all heard before, it's still interesting to see the sheer diversity of life experiences her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/12/25 03:45 AM |
| 1 | A Swedish NGO released a dating manual aimed at lonely menDiscord and Minecraft groomers are basically the 2010s/2020s digital equivalent to the white van with candy. It's about as stereotypical as shady as you can get. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/25 09:02 PM |
| 5 | Men aren’t inherently more desperate for relationships than women are, just more disadvantaged.What body fat percentage do you think we're looking at? It's one thing to say that "high body fat" is a turn off, but there's a huge range between "not being fat" and "lowest possible healthy percentage." If we're talking about that, then we're talking about an influencer level, top 1% physique that takes a lot more than just regular healthy habits. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/25 05:23 AM |
| 1 | A Swedish NGO released a dating manual aimed at lonely menYou should get help if you haven't already. I know things can be hard but when I've been in crisis I always come out of it feeling better, even if the chronic pain is still there. I know how consuming depression can be, how on some days it feels like the entire universe is made of suffering, but even if I'm still in the water there are times when I "get to breathe" and surface. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/25 12:13 AM |
| 0 | A Swedish NGO released a dating manual aimed at lonely menAre you okay? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/12/25 12:04 AM |
| 10 | A Swedish NGO released a dating manual aimed at lonely menMy guess is that there might be some "read between the lines" things in Swedish culture. No way would I give romantically struggling men the advice to meet in the workplace. Maybe workplaces are different there. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 12:23 AM |
| 28 | A Swedish NGO released a dating manual aimed at lonely menI think this pamphlet is a complete joke. It's basically a combination of grade-school level sex-ed and bottom-of-the-barrel dating advice like hygiene. Their list of places to meet people is ridiculously simplistic with no consideration of how difficult/impossible finding people of the opposite sex to interact with actually is. work or school Workplace dating is an incredibly risky idea, if it's even allowed in your workplace to begin with. Post-graduation, there is no "school" anymore. Perhaps… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 12:21 AM |
| 14 | Does one ever recover from missing experiences as a youth?I'm not sure, and it's one of my biggest existential crises right now. I feel like my worth as a person just hasn't kept up with inflation. In high school people said high school relationships aren't worth it, to focus on my education and hobbies to build my resume. I do so, have a great resume to apply to college, go to college. In college, I can't find a date, and people tell me things will get better when I graduate due to having a career. I have a career now, except everyone also does, and i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 12:11 AM |
| 5 | Men who don't approach women, why?I just don't see anywhere in public it's appropriate. When I'm walking around outside, people are busy and can't be interrupted. Inside, people are either sitting (rude to approach as a standing person, and you're sitting apart) or standing in fixed orders (i.e. lines). To socialize, you need a scenario in which people are standing and able to "float" around, but this is incredibly rare. Coffee shops are sitting and standing (in line) places. Not all bars are free floating (i.e. many are just re… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/12/25 12:04 AM |
| 4 | Modern society won’t admit that dating is harder for the average man than average woman, because it pushes a narrative that men don’t experience disadvantages, or women have privileges.I think it's about the degree rather than the fact itself, and how the general consensus in a lot of dating discourse communities is still "lol, stop overthinking and just go talk to women." or "Wear a shirt that fits and don't be a cheater" People can talk about "men have it harder" in the abstract but I don't think people truly know what it's like to swipe on thousands or tens of thousands of profiles without a single date, or to write dozens of unique, profile-tailored openers without a singl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 06:58 PM |
| – | Women's "being seen as a body" problem is NOT about men's behaviour.Mandatory disagreement up front because this is flaired as debate. I don't think women dislike being "seen as the fairer gender", or maybe it has a meaning I've never picked up on. I thought a huge part of the men vs. women divide was that women are still seen as better by default, or that there's still some amount of "benevolent sexism." It comes up when I tried to talk about femdom and what that means to me in literal kink subreddits. I think I understand what you mean. Even FetLife, supposedl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 05:52 PM |
| 22 | Apparently even progressive women have a habit of demonizing sexuality of average dudesSo without knowing anything about even the most truly harmless men, all they know is a complete stranger that wants access to their body is approaching them. In the past, their saftey possibly got compromised because of this, and it creates a sort of trauma that's indescribable. What this means women are less concerned with protecting the feelings of a guy who says he just wants to talk to women in the hopes of sleeping with them, vs. expressing that they could feel really uncomfortable quickly … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 04:10 PM |
| 6 | Q4M: Why do you ignore obvious social cues inviting you to approach?No, it's not. Linking to more videos of women explaining what they mean doesn't count. It's essentially a bunch of women talking about true positives while ignoring the fact that their flirting is indistinguishable from false positives and true negatives. It's like writing messages in invisible ink, then complaining why men don't pour lemon juice on everything. They don't understand the basic principle of communication: it's the sender's job to be understood. It's not the recipient's job to deci… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 03:55 PM |
| 10 | Q4M: Why do you ignore obvious social cues inviting you to approach?Making eye contact and looking away isn't obvious. It's the definition of not being interested. Additionally, people need to understand that men are taught to not bother and sexualize women, so looking at us isn't a green light. Finally, there are almost no Western dating norms, so there's no widely agreed upon social cues. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/12/25 07:59 AM |
| 5 | Are there viral Blue Pill dating experiments?I understand that "Blue Pill" is more of a catchall than a coherent ideology with affirmative claims, but the point is that there could still be plenty of room for experiments to falsify some of the other pill claims. For example, one idea is that while a given woman may only be attracted to a small percentage of men, women are not all attracted to the same small percentage. The variation in opinion means that someone should be able to pull off a "Chadfishing" style experiment with many differen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/12/25 03:00 PM |
| 3 | Alot of people arent attractive nor rich enough for the attitude they have.What does a "decent bank account" mean in practical terms? I get in the abstract that a lot of people like success and money, but what does a man actually do with his money that makes him attractive? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/12/25 12:23 PM |
| – | A lot of people want some kind of cheat code to human attraction, when it rarely works that way.People are like "There's no script for social interaction!" but suddenly know what "professional" means when it comes time for a job interview or what "black tie" means for someone else's wedding. The whole idea that human interaction isn't a video game is just a dunk on single, frustrated men trying things out. Cultures and societies are loaded with norms and practices on the correct way to do things, and most people just don't see them because they're so ingrained. It's only when someone inten… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/12/25 01:03 PM |
| 13 | Why do women think that men have it easy compared to them?I have to disagree on the dating thing. Men are just as vulnerable to sexual assault as women, because physical strength is surprisingly useless and ineffective in preventing sexual violence. Think stuff like freezing up, feeling unjustified in using violence to defend oneself, being surprised, and non-violent kinds of coercion or force. Having survived some awful things myself my conclusion is that people are dangerous in general, and dating is just a place where it's expected to meet a lot of … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 06:35 PM |
| 8 | Society threat profiles men if they approach women, and clowns on them if they end up lonely and "unfuckable"I understand that good people are rare, but not so obviously rare that I'd give straight-up, no-way "Nos" upfront to 20 single members of the opposite sex in a row. I would be sexually attracted to at least 1/4 of them to see where it goes. Even if I was only mildly attracted, and even if it all failed in the end, I don't give upfront rejections that consistently. In fact, even if I knew for a fact that a relationship would fail, I'd still give people a try for what fun and connection we could h… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 05:42 PM |
| 21 | Society threat profiles men if they approach women, and clowns on them if they end up lonely and "unfuckable"I understand there is no one size fits all, but the problem is that after so many tries one size should fit. "Women are individuals." is something that works for the first or second rejection, not the 20th. I don't think a woman or any person would ask out 20 men and just shrug off "Oh well Man A, Man B, Man C, Man D, Man E, Man F, Man G, Man H, Man I, Man J, Man K, Man L, Man M, Man N, Man O, Man P, Man Q, Man R, Man S, and Man T just so happen to have unique tastes that just coincidentally don… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 05:02 PM |
| 8 | Society threat profiles men if they approach women, and clowns on them if they end up lonely and "unfuckable"Well the opinions of randos are often the only times where people openly express opinions. I remember describing trying to ask women out to my therapist like this: Imagine if your entire life, you have only ever seen people wearing clothes. You have never seen a naked person in public. You have never actually seen a person getting arrested for having no clothes. You have never actually seen a law that says you must wear clothes. You have never actually been explicitly told in exactly these words… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/11/25 04:59 PM |
| 2 | Social circles is a "don't shit where you eat" scenarioThat's one of the big ones, but younger generations have a strong "don't date coworkers" ethic, or at least the white collar world is far different. Tons more people have college degrees and people may be less willing to risk their work for sex, at least for jobs that require a degree. I'd imagine it's easier to risk a part time summer job on a hookup than a full time career in an office. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 11:42 PM |
| 1 | Social circles is a "don't shit where you eat" scenarioBut isn't wanting a specific random woman "oneism"? Isn't the key to accepting rejection having an abundance mentality and moving on quickly? If a man has a lot of women he knows but one says no, what does he do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 11:40 PM |
| 1 | Apparently women turn “demisexual” around average menThank you. Another thing I've heard is to film yourself, then do screenshots of the footage later, but I haven't tried that yet. Have you tried it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 07:45 PM |
| 2 | Apparently women turn “demisexual” around average menAre you being supportive or critical of me? I do have "candid" shots, it's just that sliding onto home plate during a baseball game looks awful on a family's phone camera. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 07:01 PM |
| 1 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?I am only talking about adults here to be clear, because I had an adult relationship with no PIV sex, and refusals or failed attempts at non-PIV acts. It was basically a PG-13 relationship between people in their 20s, and the mutual incompatibility got to the point where when I finally admitted I wasn't that attracted to her, she was relieved since she felt the same way about me. To your point, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling is just not enough for two adults, which was a big but not the on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 04:54 PM |
| 4 | Apparently women turn “demisexual” around average menCandid action shots of you having fun enjoying yourself are going to be your best bet. I've never understood this. Actual action shots of me are blurry, because the chaotic movement of something like a sports game is blurry or distant. I can't take these photos myself, and my friends and family are not professional photographers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 04:47 PM |
| 17 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?I don't see why people keep falling for this. Anyone who knows anything about modern dating knows there are two main outcomes: Woman gets far more attention, man gets extremely little to none. Couple stays together and hopes for a "third." Thus, they become "unicorn hunters" in search of another woman who is A. bisexual B. open not just to casual sex, but a casual threesome. One theory I've heard about open relationships is that some people who are cheating use it as a pretext to try to treat th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 09:41 AM |
| 14 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?When I'm single "I want pizza." means I order it no questions asked. The moment you introduce even 1 other person into the mix, it turns into a conversation. It feels wrong to tell other adults what to do sometimes. Also, being "dominant" in an everyday life way can feel like parenting or caretaking rather than romance or respectful deference. Leading a woman to a bedroom is the stuff of erotic novels. Telling a grown adult "We will have pizza for dinner." makes them seem like a child. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 09:35 AM |
| 2 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?relationships I think this is why people focus on the technicality of "virgin" so much. The "dream" seems to be the first person to have Sex(TM) with a woman, not be the first at absolutely everything. There's a huge experience gap between "Had several previous relationships, solid understanding of romance and anatomy, done some non-PIV sex acts." and "Doesn't even read erotic literature or consume porn. Has literally never seen genitals or had a kiss on the lips, no sex ed so lacks even theoret… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 09:26 AM |
| 1 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?Oh sure, like I said "opposites attract" would itself be a fantasy. Some level of common interests is necessary: straight laced guy and alternative woman is the plot of a novel, not a reliable plan for real life. Still, I learned even an incredible match on interests is just enough for "friend.", not for girlfriend or boyfriend. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 08:40 AM |
| 0 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?I'm a bit confused. I was not specifically into her looks. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 06:37 AM |
| -2 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?I wasn't attracted to her but she was somewhat attracted to me so I asked her out. I dated on potential and figured we could grow closer. While we did we get a bit closer we reached a hard limit where neither wanted to go further, and the initial "new relationship" rush had been long gone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 03:55 AM |
| 2 | Men don't have instant beauty tricks and it makes it harder for them!I think it's more that men's bodies just aren't sexualized or admired as much, and there seem to be fewer ways for men to really sexualize themselves. It's biological and cultural: I just don't think men's bodies are appealing to women by themselves, and culture doesn't give us a lot of options to express them. To Be More Specific: Men's bodies just feel like featureless, flat rectangles, while women have features and curves. Men's bodies are like a wall that is just painted one solid color: eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 03:02 AM |
| 8 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?The bipolar girl who will rock your world I suppose it's because people romanticize manic phase sex, not realizing it can manifest in far more ways than just sexuality, and completely ignore the depressive part of the disorder. Anything else? The naive girl with 0 trauma I think the problem here is one of two ways: first, she's not actually "0 trauma." She is naive because of trauma (i.e. religious suppression or purity culture). Two, the naivety makes it taxing to have to teach someone everythi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 12:33 AM |
| 6 | "They SAY they want XYZ, but are inevitably repulsed when they get it". What is XYZ when it comes to men?A "geek girl" is a huge fantasy for a lot of men, to the point where it's one of the core appeals of vtubers: imagine a cute anime girl/woman who plays video games for hours straight, Just Like You(TM)! I actually did get a chance to date a fellow geek. However, it turns out that shared hobbies, even on an intense level, is not replacement for romantic or sexual desire or compatibility. Additionally, I also feel that having things in common is a bit overrated anyway. I would date the female vers… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/11/25 12:21 AM |
| 1 | A lot of men need to stop giving a shit about the opinions of strangers and internet discourseIf this was 10 or 15 years ago I might have agreed. There was definitely a time when the online world and the offline world were truly separate, especially politically. "Clicktivism" was the term of the day: "One Like = One Child Saved" would mock the idea of people who thought that Facebook, Reddit, and Twitter posts had anything to do with reality. Likewise, your typical late 2000s YouTuber who just rants into a camera from their bedroom with no editing skills was not going to make a differenc… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 07:42 PM |
| 1 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsAnother big thing is the pop culture romantization of codependency, which makes the "don't be needy" sting a bit harder. I know it's fictional or exagerrated, but love songs touch on real feelings. It isn't just that there's love songs to listen to, but the lyrics to those songs are like "You know I can't smile without you." "My life would suck without you." "I'd turn to stone, if you were gone." "Oh baby, give me one more chance" Or you have songs comparing love to drugs or magic, which is so c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 06:57 PM |
| 5 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsI've tried the settling thing. It turns out trying to date someone without mutual compatibility is wasteful of both people's times. It sounds like a "beggars can't be choosers" thing but attraction can't be negotiated or compromised: a bad relationship is worse than being single. As for sex work, even putting aside all ethical, legal, and financial concerns a lot of men want to have sex with someone who wants us, not our money. We want to be attractive enough for a woman to be sexually attracted… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 07:05 AM |
| 14 | Males strange obsession with losing their V cardsLosing virginity is important as the idea of sex is so prominent in our culture, and it feels socially awful to lack an experience that so many other people just...get to have. People say that sex isn't a need, and maybe that's true in a strict personal survival sense, but socially it is incredibly painful to not have access to such a fundamental human life experience, to not have any firsthand knowledge about what the overwhelmingly vast majority of others get to experience. Imagine being a civ… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 06:32 AM |
| 9 | Men don't have instant beauty tricks and it makes it harder for them!I think what OP is saying is that there's no equivalent to a woman just wearing a shorter skirt. To put it another way, there's nothing a man would avoid wearing because "Oh no, this will attract too much/the wrong kind of attention." For better or worse, I can wear anything with no change in reception whatsoever. I've worn suits and not gotten attention. I've worn the "grey sweatpants" and it's just a meme as far as I can tell. I don't get sexually harassed, but I also don't get dates either. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 05:05 AM |
| 8 | Men don't have instant beauty tricks and it makes it harder for them!Every haircut I ever get only gets me a compliment from my mom, coworkers, or my therapist. Even haircuts specifically in fashion to attract women don't work at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/11/25 05:04 AM |
| 4 | More men aren't single because they have "bad personalities"They have personality, I just don't think conservatives filter for it that much or as aggressively as liberals. Like I said, "No MAGA no cops" is a common thing to see on a liberal woman's profile, but I never see stuff like "If you voted for Kamala I don't want you anywhere near me". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 02:50 PM |
| 9 | More men aren't single because they have "bad personalities"Why does everyone in this sub confuse "personality" with being a good person or being progressive? Liberal people are more prominent on apps and more vocal about judging someone's worth as a partner based on their politics. Conservative men may be more willing to put aside their beliefs for sex, or even have a fantasy of dating a liberal woman, while conservative women don't seem to sexualize political views as much. OkCupid, for example, has a Pro-Choice badge for people's profiles of they wish… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/11/25 02:42 PM |
| 2 | Newsflash: Even IF women approached more, not a whole lot would really change.Thanks. It's one of the harshest life lessons I've learned. Dating violence is real of course, but I think people put too much emphasis on the "dating" part in trying to avoid it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 06:11 PM |
| 4 | Newsflash: Even IF women approached more, not a whole lot would really change.Women will still have to put their safety on the line. Their bodies. Their lifes. I don't think dating for women is risky so much as meeting new people is risky for anyone. Everyone puts themselves on the line in any social interaction. I once went out on a dinner date explicitly agreed upon to not have sex, but I was still assaulted. Being single or deciding to not have sex is meaningless in the face of a predator's choice to attack. Technically, I wouldn't have been "date raped" if it wasn't a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 12:24 PM |
| 10 | Newsflash: Even IF women approached more, not a whole lot would really change.It's because dating apps don't work and the social structures for warm approaches are incredibly weak. Adult life isn't college or high school. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/11/25 12:20 PM |
| 3 | Displaying Value and Minimizing Flakes: Dinner vs DrinksI would argue that a lower investment date is also safer, since a dinner date can make someone feel "locked in." for the whole meal. In US culture at least, cafe-level items like bagels and smoothies are paid for upfront, ready in minutes, and acceptable to eat out of the venue, while restaurant-level items like burgers and steaks are paid for after you have eaten. Unless they are explicitly fast food, these kinds of food are consumed dine-in beginning to end. If I have a date at a coffee shop, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 10:19 PM |
| 3 | Most men never have a sexual primeI mean technically yes, but people often mean "prime" to mean good in absolute terms too. It's like how the term "average" usually means something more like "median" or "mode" in how people use it. Technically, "average" means "sum of all data points divided by number of data points", mode is the most common data point, and median is the middle data point between all the lower and higher ones. If there are 6 guys who make 50K and 4 guys who make 100K, the average is 70K, but people will say "The… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 08:54 PM |
| 1 | "Men are praised for casual sex while women are berated for it" is a truism of the past.Mandatory disagreement because flaired as debate: it is a truism among certain subcultures like "-maxxing" communities that are very metric-heavy in terms of how they define attractiveness. That said, I generally agree. In all my life I've never actually seen a man actually get praised for casual sex. If anything, it seems as though the expectation on men is overwhelmingly to accept a sexless life. Even dating advice books practically fall over themselves to disclaim "We're not here to teach pic… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/11/25 01:45 AM |
| 3 | Way too many people want hook ups and won’t admit it. I think it’s because they want to lie to others and themselves.I think a lot of guys are trying to reconcile the fact that they might only ever get "relationship sex." Dating apps had a reputation for being "hookup apps" but in reality the only hookup apps that actually exist are for gay men. The fantasy of easy casual sex is a porno fantasy for the vast majority of men, especially post-graduation. If there was ever a golden age where dating apps actually worked for straight men that time is long gone. That said, I also think a lot of men learn that looking… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 09:43 PM |
| 5 | The narrative that small age gaps (like 18 & 24) are "predatory" is a recent moral panic based on flawed arguments.Many of those studies simply stopped tracking development at age 25; they didn't claim it was a magic finish line Is there a name for this fallacy, of mistaking a study parameter for the dependent variable? I remember hearing a viral statistic about the risk of domestic violence perpetrators murdering their victims after they break up. Every website, brochure, and organization cited some years-long period. I track it down and find the study, and indeed some people are hurt years later, but that'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/11/25 04:39 PM |
| 56 | Is the average Purple Pill user here for debate, or is it something more sinister?This place is one of the only places online where I feel gender relations can be openly discussed without things being one sided. Name me one other forum where you can get 200 comments and 2 net upvotes. We are almost perfectly balanced. Engagement is also extremely high too. The kinds of things I can express here would get me blocked, banned, post removed, or mass-downvoted on almost any other sub. Even two sided mudslinging and repetitive debates is better than no debate and opinions just gett… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/11/25 12:02 AM |
| 2 | What is your goal in dating?Ultimately, I would like a long-term romantic partner, but I feel like I've missed out on the experience of young love and would like to have some experience and variety for a few reasons: Less pressure on long term partner. If I have X or Y fantasy she won't do, I'd liked to have checked that off my bucket list with someone else. I know it's unrealistic for my LTR to be 100% sexually compatible or be a "kink dispenser" who's "down for anything." Likewise, I know an "open relationship" is at bes… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:08 AM |
| 1 | CMV: common fantasies of the opposite sex ≠ unspoken truthsI don't think there's 0 correlation, but I do think that the reasons for someone's sexual fantasies can be very complex so it's hard to make generalizations, and it would be heavily fantasy-dependent. I'd think of it how like some people who play military video games really do want to join the military, but it's probably a very weak correlation. Of course the "fantasy" is probably a stand-in for a mundane reality. Some sexual fantasies are also pretty easy to guess what they mean to a lot of peo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/11/25 07:03 AM |
| – | Why so many men suddenly became undesirable?Another thing is that romance being "socially optional" also goes both ways. Growing up as a man, there was essentially no pressure to "be a real man and get women" or "score" or whatever. If anything, dating was almost actively discouraged, since it might be a distraction from my school or career. I can't speak to other people's families, but just for myself there has been an almost complete lack of a desire for "legacy" or "maintaining the family line." It seems to me like a middle class menta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/11/25 08:23 PM |
| – | Why so many men suddenly became undesirable?just look at Sex and the City, which is a pre-social media series I might have to rewatch it with this in mind. Even still, I've never really understood SATC's appeal to women, even with the caveat that I'm a man and not the target audience. With a modern culture wars lens, it struck me almost like a parody of what red-pillers think women are, with some interesting exceptions. The Non-Red-Pillish Parts: Notably, one of the things that the series is adamant about is that even a very attractive ma… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/11/25 08:02 PM |
| 0 | Do you think simps should do more escorts/sugaring?Thank you for the actionable advice. women who forgot to delete their profile when they deleted the app b/c they found someone IRL. Or people who wrongfully set their location instead of properly using passport mode. I cannot tell you how many profiles I see that are like this. Location: >Nearby Town, My State< Bio: "I live in the Philippines." "Actually in >other state<" or you have people who just list the cities they'll be in and when like they're a rock band on tour. or the app's distance fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 10:48 PM |
| 2 | Do you think simps should do more escorts/sugaring?Okay, but what does this mean in practical terms? This seems like a relationship issue, not a getting-a-dste issue. Someone sees a woman's profile, sends a "I saw you liked soccer. How long have you been playing?" and gets no response. What does he do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 10:14 PM |
| 4 | Men’s Dating Struggles Dont Get Taken As Seriously Because Many People Are Simply Uncomfortable With Criticism of WomenOne of the biggest struggles for me is seeing a lot of old "toxic masculinity" ideas being repackaged with progressive politics and therapy speak. For example, I'm open to the idea that women's sexuality works differently from men, but "responsive desire" just sounds like "Women are sexually passive and don't want sex by default. It's a man's job to seduce and convince them." in a blue coat of paint. "Emotional intelligence" just sounds like "a real man is smooth and knows his way with women." "… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 08:26 PM |
| 4 | Men’s Dating Struggles Dont Get Taken As Seriously Because Many People Are Simply Uncomfortable With Criticism of WomenGoing out and making friends is logistically infeasible a lot of times as an adult. It's not like high school or college anymore. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:18 PM |
| 2 | Men’s Dating Struggles Dont Get Taken As Seriously Because Many People Are Simply Uncomfortable With Criticism of WomenI think men and women have different definitions of loneliness. Some people might be "single" because they're taking a break from dating and haven't found a committed relationship yet. Some people are "single" because they've gone years without a single date. Additionally, I say "male loneliness" because what I really mean is "male sexlessness", but people don't like men's sexuality. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 06:17 PM |
| 28 | Andrew Wilson's Force Doctrine: Men have a monopoly on force. Thus, the patriarchy will always exist, because women must ALWAYS appeal to men for their rights.Police and military protect people because they are paid by the government, not because women appealed to them. It's a public service. Police and military people have the monopoly on violence due to membership in state security forces, something which requires far more than "men are stronger than women on average" level strength. Also, "Your rights depend on other people respecting them." is how all rights work. It's not a gotcha for feminism. "Did you ever realize that your vote only matters on… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 01:26 AM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveI've tried volunteering but volunteering events are hard to fit into my work hours, not as common as you might think, or they very chaotic and not social. Volunteering is also voluntary, so there's absolutely no consistency in who shows up. Adult hobbies in general just lack consistency. It's not like being in high school or college where you have the carrot and stick of resume building, scholarships, parental disappointment, etc. driving everyone to every single recital, practice, and game. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/11/25 01:15 AM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveI never click with anyone, let alone to see trends. People almost never message me back, and when they do it never gets to a date. I haven't been on a date in over two years despite consulting with family, therapists, photographers, and coaches. I am a fit man with a good career and many hobbies, and I pay premium on apps. Nothing has ever worked. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 10:47 PM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractivebecause women like different things Individuals are themselves, but macro trends can be a thing too. Different people have different political opinions but you can absolutely tell a political scientist the demographics of a county and they can reliably predict who will win an election. Different people like different products but some businesses are clearly more successful than others. What OP is asking is what works in general? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 09:52 PM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveIt's not that a single strategy will work on every woman, just that the entire point of learning a skill or using a tactic is that it's reliably better than the alternatives. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 09:49 PM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveIf they are highly situational and specific to the person, then what is the skill? What "subtle signs" could there be if that's situational and specific to the person too? You could make a "wrong" move at the start and totally kill the interaction. It's like being asked to play a card game only to be told "Actually, different cards have different values to different people." and no idea what the scoring system is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 09:48 PM |
| – | The only way to successfully flirt is to be physically attractiveThis is easier said than done. A lot of the autism dating sites are basically small or dead (i.e. profiles that haven't been active in months or even years, a small pool that you go through in an hour), and in-person autism events are hard to find. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 09:46 PM |
| 2 | Do you like the idea of AI robot wife?If it helps, I'd imagine that the free will of a true AI companion would be like a person-specific sexual orientation. Like if a man was straight, but only for one specific woman. You would have an entity that would be attracted to you and only you, but it wouldn't be like a person being brainwashed into doing anything you wanted, so much as like dating an asexual person who just has one exception. You'd still need consent, buildup, and some level of compatibility. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 08:15 PM |
| 5 | Do you like the idea of AI robot wife?I've had some fun flirting and roleplaying with AI myself but I think a true "gynoid / fembot" partner is decades away. You'd need something that would be: Functional as a humanoid form, with all the strength, speed, and dexterity of a human. It is functionally a robot person in exactly the way sci-fi imagines it. It needs to be functional as a person because if all I wanted was just a hole then sex dolls already exist. I want a partner. A living personality that would have to challenge the user… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:55 PM |
| 3 | What’s with the “I hate lustful men” trend?In theory I see how a string of bad experiences can turn someone off an experience in general, but it seems like a coping mechanism or a "I know good experiences are out there, the juice just isn't worth the squeeze." rather than literally thinking sex isn't enjoyable. I'm a virgin but from what I understand, it should be somewhat easy to tell if something is bad versus the result of a bad partner; when women talk about "bad sex" they seem to be referring to selfish partners who are all but lite… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 07:46 PM |
| – | Help me understand the "not girlfriend material" phenomenonthat changes boyfriend more than changes clothes (you will probably be replaced soon too) We're you subconsciously referencing Katy Perry's Hot N Cold? It's basically about her relationship with a male tsundere. "You change your mind like a girl changes clothes." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 04:50 PM |
| -1 | What’s with the “I hate lustful men” trend?For me, I don't see that kind of lustful attraction as dehumanizing, as long as they want consensual sex and aren't actually predatory. If anything, I see lust as liberating, since it means I don't have to change myself to be attractive. I'd much rather he hot for a certain part of me, and then everything after that can be a bonus, rather than having to be appreciated as a whole person just to get in the door. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/11/25 03:42 AM |
| 11 | What (I think) Every Nice Guy Needs to HearI don't understand what this means in practical terms. The three big dilemmas of being a "nice guy" are: We understand women are afraid of men and face abuse, and don't understand why, being so much better by default, we don't get more sexual attention or success than abusive men. It's the "Intimate partner violence wouldn't exist if violent people couldn't get intimate partners / date rapists still get dates" problem. We don't know what will make women like us beyond the bare minimum. On one ha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 11:50 PM |
| 2 | Nuances on spontaneous and responsive desireI believe what you're saying. I absolutely agree that personality comes in after someone is already somewhat visually attractive, but I'm just curious if you have any of the studies on hand. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Women get rejected just as often as men, it just happens after the sex.husband material Think of it like opportunity cost. Someone who gets called husband material is being complimented for a broader social role, not being attractive. It's like if a woman got told "I bet you'd be a great mother to my kids." Yes, some women like being mothers but it's not a compliment to tell someone "I value you for the potential labor implicitly involved in dating me." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 06:24 PM |
| 5 | Men who have a healthy relationship with pornography, how? Whats it like?I like erotic literature and artwork, but do not do "porn" in the sense of seeing someone have sex with someone else on camera. For me, porn always seemed way too raw, cheap, and dangerous. And this is just the subjective impression at first value, before I learned about all the shady and awful things that happen. For rawness, I don't like just plain imagery. I like a little plot, character, or even worldbuilding to go along with things. It doesn't have to be a novel: even just a paragraph or tw… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/11/25 06:29 AM |
| 5 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.I've heard it nicely put as marriage is the only sex work society endorses. One of my old friends was a frequent volunteer at a domestic violence shelter, and one day I had to ask the taboo question: I understand the fear and psychological complexities of leaving an abusive relationship, but how do they start? What exactly do all those abusive boyfriends do to get their girlfriends in the first place? They told me that "There's a difference between having a boyfriend and having a boyfriend." The… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 10:20 PM |
| 3 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.This is the kind of thing I'm talking about. Being friends with women doesn't make them attracted to me: sex and intimacy needs to be intentionally sought out. I do not have ulterior motives. said that people who have a good understanding of boundaries and consent are more attractive, but I do not really see this kind of thing making men attractive in the results. You The man who respects a woman's boundaries by walking away when he's told "No." was...told no. The man who respects a woman's boun… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 05:52 PM |
| 5 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.But how are those things demonstrated and advertised? How do you present them as a positive so people won't just be like "Oh so you think you deserve sex just for not being a rapist?" I'm a victim of sexual violence myself, so I know more than almost any man the importance of consent. Yet, what do I actually do, say, or look like to a stranger to be attractive to her? I can certainly respect a woman's personal space, but that's the thing: in public "respect" almost always means "don't interact w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 03:08 PM |
| 9 | The world does not cater to male sexuality.I separate erotica from porn. Porn is going to a tube site, watching a 5 minute clip, then cleaning up. It's not reading a 300 page novel with lots of sex scenes. It's like the difference between having a chocolate bar for dessert vs making a pastry from scratch: it's still ultimately fat and sugar that tastes good, but people who just rip open a Hershey's bar don't need to care about the "mechanical leavening" of dough. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/11/25 03:01 PM |
| 1 | This is the worst decade to be dating.Honestly heterosexuality is so weird. When I was growing up, I was taught with a pseudo-blank slate idea that while general trends may exist we're all individuals and you can't make big assumptions based on people's background. In my day to day life I still see everyone as a person first, but as I've gotten older I've realized that on a macro scale backgrounds can have a massive impact on how someone may see the world. Growing up as a man or woman isn't quite like learning different languages, a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/11/25 02:47 AM |
| – | We should start telling people when they are younger you aren't guaranteed a relationshipI understand the idea of this in the abstract, but I wonder about the specifics: What is the endpoint of "gym?" I've been on my own "lose weight" fitness journey for years and am starting "gain muscle", but I don't know the end goal. I know consistency is key and people should exercise throughout their life, but how big do the muscles have to be? What kind of physique works best, and how is it shown off the best? For money, how can this attract women without leading with money? Is "money" about … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 06:42 AM |
| – | We should start telling people when they are younger you aren't guaranteed a relationshipObligatory disagreement due to debate flair: I think the message should be that "Romance and intimacy require specific conditions that may or may not exist in a given time or place." That way we manage expectations but still have hope. People talk about "sexual marketplace value" of individuals but in a real sense it's about the broader economy: the best resume can't get a job if businesses aren't hiring or the industry you trained in just doesn't operate where you live. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 05:34 AM |
| 1 | If there's a crisis in masculinity, how long has it been around?I can't say when it started because I'm too young, but I will say that as long as I've been alive I don't really feel like there's a solid gender role or path to success for men as men in Western society. People might say "Men are expected to take the initiative." or "Men are supposed to be strong." but these are just things that are kind of valued in everyone. People don't look at a woman hitting a new PR at the gym and shame her for lifting weights (physical strength) or get upset when a woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 03:54 AM |
| – | Social media is full of ragebait and too many people fall for it or take it too seriously. The Gender War is mostly not real, well-adjusted people don't think about or believe in crazy opinions.I'd agree that the internet is real life but I'd temper it with the Pareto Principle: most of the content and opinions are made by a minority of people. Most people don't speak up on a given issue, so pretty much anyone who expresses their opinion is going to be in the top 20, 10, 5% of people who care. It's shockingly easy to be a top 1% commenter in most subreddits. Think of all those YouTube videos with millions of views but only thousands of comments; Reddit even gives us access to our own m… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/11/25 03:48 AM |
| 8 | Women Don't Actually Put More Effort Into Dating.Obligatory disagreement because of debate post: while I think that the average/median/mode woman is just as lazy as the average/median/mode man in terms of their everyday appearance and dating profile creation, I think that ceiling for a hot woman is far higher than for a hot man because there are more dimensions on which to enhance their style and appearance. A bodybuilder, Hollywood leading man, and normal guy in a suit are all fundamentally just guys in suits, a sea of Agent Smiths from The M… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 11:24 PM |
| 1 | The primary way to fix a good portion of dating issues in the next 30 years is to increase public transportation, third spaces, decrease cost of production and increase wages.it's external factors forcing(or at least incentivizing) people to interact with others even when they don't want to I think I've posted or commented about this recently. When you're a kid or in college, an extra curricular is: Paid by the school or your parents. Logistics are easy. Club rooms are on campus, just minutes of walking away. Recitals, practice, games, etc. are built into the school calendar. School buses take everyone to games. There are scholarships if you are very good, which can … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 07:35 AM |
| 2 | The primary way to fix a good portion of dating issues in the next 30 years is to increase public transportation, third spaces, decrease cost of production and increase wages.I kind of caught onto this in my thinking about high-school. When you're a kid, all life runs on an 7:30-3:30 clock (or what have you), and everyone lives in the se neighborhood. College comes, and people have different schedules. Working life begins, and now people love farther apart too. When you're a kid "lunch" is in the cafeteria, where you and hundreds of others are packed together every day for months. As an adult, lunch may be at any one of dozens or even hundreds of local restaurants if… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/11/25 07:26 AM |
| – | Women should stop acting like a personality detectors and being morally superiorFor "sensitivity" and "accuracy" you might be interested to know about the concept of true/false negatives and true/false positives. It creates interesting results, like where a positive result on a 90% accurate test for a disease could mean you're 90% safe. If 100 people get tested and only 1 person is sick, then there are around 9 people with a false positive, as it's a 90% accurate test that will fail on 10 people in 100. situationship There seems to be some underlying notion that every woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/11/25 05:51 AM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.I won't deny that, but it seems to me that a lot of the Online Discourse(TM) about dating seems to assume a middle class background. I can't imagine that people on the edge of eviction are going out of their way to be concerned about scientific papers on "sexual frequency" or debating this week's TikTok trend. Even the stereotype of the "basement dwelling neckbeard" seems to me like a middle class insult: it's someone who can live a lifestyle of video games and processed food in their mother's b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 06:16 PM |
| 5 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.Another part of the puzzle you're missing is that the social activities are all structured, subsidized, and even coerced. There are a lot of kids who do something because their parents make them, to "get out of the house" or be a kind of de-facto babysitter. Even if you like an activity, there's still carrots and sticks that keep you and everyone else going. Social circles in childhood are tighter: quit the team halfway through the season, and you'll see their shame and disappointment in math cl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/11/25 12:09 AM |
| 5 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.I don't know what I think of 1, but 2 I think I can explain: it's lower class dating where middle class neurosis doesn't apply, and where a lot of "romance" and "sex" could be survival sex that isn't fully enthusiastic. There's a difference between having a boyfriend in the "I love this guy purely out of 100% consensual and freely given adult-on-adult lust and romance." sense and having a boyfriend in the "I would rather have sex with him than be homeless." sense As for drugs, I would say that d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 11:59 PM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.My brother invited me to one of the events at his company, and while dancing, one of his colleagues whom he barely knew straight up started grinding her ass against him and asking him to kiss her. The woman herself worked in HR. This reminds me of Kate McKinnon's character from Office Christmas Party. There's a scene where she drops something on the floor so she can pick it up and have an excuse to get a look at a coworker's butt. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 11:18 PM |
| 2 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.I understand the "degree gap" in the abstract, but I don't understand how it works in practice. On paper, one would think that the 3:2 gender ratio would mean a paradise for male dating, yet again it doesn't seem to be that way. Or rather, it seems like there's a golden age of 4 years where people meet their spouse in college, and then afterwards everyone is stuck in HR World where even if relationships aren't explicitly forbidden, the culture for dating just isn't there and the incentives are j… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 10:58 PM |
| 2 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.That's kind of the point. If you've spent tens of thousands of dollars on student loans, and now you finally have that dental care and 401K going, you're not going to toxm the boat with a workplace romance. Turnover is also a factor. Jobs in the hospitality or food service industry are often part time or seasonal. Being fired after 3 months when you were only going to work 4 anyway is not the same as having your life set earning 60K a year and now you are at 0. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 09:41 PM |
| 4 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.My definition is kind of cultural/educational. It's the people who got sold on the path of college-educated, white-collar 9-5 jobs. Suburban or doesn't live in a major city. Caution bordering on paranoia about crime. Not super religious: even if not atheist or agnostic, religion isn't their primary identity. Social life for children is very structured. Karate class, soccer practice, the school band. No 80s-style "Head put on your bikes and be back by sunset." Life is desexualized. Little to no p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 09:03 PM |
| 1 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.I think the point is that even if there were legitimate they're just so wildly expensive: even their website design is reminiscent of fancy restaurant menus or high-end fashion outlets that don't have price tags. It's very much a "We hide the cost so you're not scared off." or "If you have to ask how much it costs you can't afford it." kind of service. I've looked into them for myself and it turns out that their definition of "single professional" is more like "CEO of the company looking to comp… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 07:05 PM |
| 3 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me.In my experience the "live with other people for survival" part of life is taken care of by family. I understand that partners need to split expenses these days once they move in together, but the point is that it's not a middle class mentality of "I need to date in order to afford a roof over my head." In the middle class culture I know, it seems as though romance is the absolute last thing you are supposed to do in life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 07:02 PM |
| 3 | A lot of "dating problems" seem like "middle class" problems to me."My dad wouldn't have met mom if he had to date today." is definitely an existential thought I have sometimes, but I'm still not quite sure if dating apps and the globalization of dating really changed things. I think dating apps are just a stark revealer of something deeper. I think it's more that modern, Western, middle-class people are some of the first people in history where marriage and relationships are almost entirely a luxury. Everyone is all about their career, their debt, and their fi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 06:10 PM |
| 2 | The narrative that dating success is a matter of 'self-improvement' is toxic and misleading.Two parts: obligatory disagreement to satisfy "debate" reading and one more point I'd like to add. I would disagree that dating comes with "ease" to most boys in their teenage years. I think the average man struggles. One think I'd add is that one problem with self improvement is that self-improvement has a kind of inflationary aspect to it. It's not simply that one has to improve, but there's the pressure to improve even faster than one is normally demanded or expected to get ahead in life. In … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 05:07 AM |
| 1 | What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men?Sorry for the mixed metaphor and real life examples. I meant like trying to get a date as a straight man is like interviewing for a job: it does not happen unless you specifically strategize, go out, seek out, and "get" what you want by finding someone who gives you a chance. I really wish it felt more romantic, but I am frustrated to say that's how it works. In actual schools and workplaces, friendships are as simple as "Me and them sit next to lunch every day, or work the same shift." It's eas… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/11/25 12:26 AM |
| 1 | What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men?I don't think social engineering is manipulation or coercion: the entire point of social skills is to get desired social outcomes, whether it's making a friend, acing a job interview or getting consent to sex. Either way, I compare it to the workplace because that's what dating is like for me and a lot of other men: we have to send out endless applications and constantly get rejected or not even looked at. We have no idea what goes wrong, and all the effort is on you: nobody will approach us and… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 11:14 PM |
| 1 | What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men?But what do those people do, then? I don't understand the stigma of "I'm struggling to figure this out. How does this work?" and the offended response of "I feel like you're asking how people work." Also, I was in the special needs school system and socialization really is like a video game. There are inputs and outputs, specific purposes and meanings. That's kind of the whole "skill" point of a "social skill." Languages are built on rules so well understood that we often don't realize we're fol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 06:03 PM |
| 1 | What's even the point for average woman to be in a relationship with average men?Why would that mentality be insulting? I understand that making generalizations can be offensive, but I don't see why it's bad to want to know what the baseline rules for getting a certain kind of social interaction are. It's really frustrating for me because nowhere else in socialization do people get offended at intentionality or strategy. I never hear people in job hunting communities say "It's not your resume. It's your attitude about your resume." or "Different employers want different thin… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/11/25 03:43 PM |
| 3 | Do you believe relationships are riskier for men or women?In my experience, violent crime is incidental to dating and living with other people. It's not that relationships are risky so much as other humans in general are a risk. Domestic violence is typically associated with married couples but can also happen between exes, family who aren't dating each other, or even roommates. Even as someone who was date raped by a larger man, it hasn't colored my idea of how dangerous dating is. If anything, I think being single offers a false sense of security to … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/11/25 04:34 AM |
| 1 | Why are you blue piller?Platonic and sexual validation are totally different needs in my experience. Alsp, I understand that there is a therapeutic/political definitikn of sex thar includes "solo sex", but masturbation and sex are distinct in almost everyone's mind. No one says "I had sex last night." to mean "Oh, I mean, I had solo sex masturbating alone." People want to have sex with other people and that's just a totally different experience. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/11/25 12:18 PM |
| 6 | Why are you blue piller?Cuz I’m a dirty free love hippy who runs in queer sex-positive circles of mixed gender who all like each other. We don’t treat sex like it’s an ultimate goal, which has the surprising effect of people being a lot more causal and less uptight about sex in general. That's the positive feedback loop straight people don't have. Straight men have sex as an ultimate goal because it's so hard to achieve, and this causes extreme amounts of stress. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 06:43 PM |
| 9 | for people that were late bloomers in dating, is it normal or just common to have envy/resentment towards people who got to date and have relationships before they did or just people who got to date, have relationships around the typical societal norm of when people have their first relationship?I don't resent people who got it earlier. I regret myself for not realizing what an utter boon high school and college is. It is almost impossible to imagine any situation in the "real adult world" where you will be so consistently surrounded by single people your age of the opposite sex. Expectations in general are lower and the playing field is more even. People are in their first relationships or haven't had too many. There is less baggage, and even a "nasty" breakup at that age is not a cont… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/11/25 05:08 AM |
| 2 | To both men and women: Tell me your requirements for a partner1 in a million conversion case You mean religiously converted? capable of comfortably walking long distances Seriously underrated. A lot of times people say "fit" or "healthy" as a euphemism for "don't look fat" but we can also forget fitness is a baseline requirement for spending some parts of life together. My ex and I once went on a walk to a restaurant. Almost a perfect mile on relatively even ground. They couldn't make it and had to rest maybe 80% of the way there. I felt really bad for her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/11/25 03:51 PM |
| 7 | Options for an average looking and autistic/introverted man who wants casual sexI am the one you call "average looking and autistic/introverted man who wants casual sex". Anyway, here's my tale and choices. With my family's help I became very high-finctioning from a "Could he hold down a good job and become independent?" terms. However, this kind of over-succeeded and put me on the "Focus on your studies/career. Women are after you have everything else." life path. As such, I didn't try to get a girlfriend or have sex nearly as hard as I could. Admittedly this is one of my … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/11/25 12:28 AM |
| 1 | Does statistics matter in dating?Thanks, but I'm a bit confused. A lot of eye colors can be dark, especially since brown is a common color. My vision of "tall, blonde, dark and lean" (to quote It's Raining Men) was some tanned beach guy with a six pack and blonde (possibly dyed) hair. Like a Jersey Shore cast member or Fred from Scooby-Doo. Tanning makes me think of beaches, which makes me think of contrasting the dark skin with lighter hair. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 05:35 PM |
| 2 | Does statistics matter in dating?I thought "dark" referred to being tanned. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 02:05 AM |
| 17 | For too many men here, sex is the only priority to be fulfilled with hasteI should have been more specific. Long story short, I had the "Focus on your studies/career." upbringing where sex and romance was a "It'll happen eventually." Long story long, in high school I was told not to try to find a girlfriend, as women would be more mature in college. In college, I have trouble, and I'm told that I'll be more attractive once I graduate and get settled in my career. That has happened, and the next hope is that I'll be a great person for the next big round of dating in my… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/10/25 12:29 AM |
| 25 | For too many men here, sex is the only priority to be fulfilled with hasteI find worth in plenty of other areas in life. It's just upsetting that none of it seems translatable to one of the few things I lack (a sex life). It's not just simply the lack of sex, but the helplessness, and the feeling that other people either can't help you or want it to be the last thing you achieve. EDIT: I mean in the "Focus on your studies/career and the right person will come along." way. My family wants me to find someone, it's just that intentionally dating as a primary life goal is… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 08:36 PM |
| 4 | Lonely guys just dont like people but hate the feeling isolation brings.I will admit that I didn't have much interest in people growing up (platonically or romantically), and that it was my responsibility for totally dropping the ball in college. I absolutely should have done more. However, I do think that post-graduation (high school or college, same issue) there is a complete black hole of socialization in modern society. Hostile architecture makes cold approaches more difficult: the US is built around cars and there are few good places to sit or stand. It's easy … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/10/25 06:58 PM |
| – | Some men never have a sexual primeBut paid sex isn't "anything" when that anything is "Someone who wants me." Beggars can't be choosers would be if someone was genuinely attracted but not ideal. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/10/25 01:43 PM |
| 1 | SVU’s latest episode exposed a societal double standard that's benefits womanAnd then there’s the other elephant in the room. false accusations. When women DO lie, manipulate, or weaponize sympathy, there are almost never consequences. The system simply shrugs. People can sue for defamation, and it's a lot harder to weaponize sympathy than one might think. Even some of the higher profile MeToo cases didn't result in complete destruction of men's careers. People can rally around the accused and it becomes a battle rather than a witch hunt. And that was back then. By now, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/25 05:04 PM |
| 1 | Most Low Status men (ugly, autistic, short,etc..) rejected by society and by women become alcoholics (some hide it well, others not so muhc) and create problems for everyone else involved. And it seems that no one wants to adress this issue. It's society's fault this is a systematic issue, CMVMy understanding is that the current vices of choice are gambling, pornography/sex work adjacent stuff (like "parasocial relationships") and vaping. Sports betting alone is out of control, and "vaping" is basically just relabeled "e-cigarettes" for the new generation. I do not know how big outright porn addiction is, but I do find it incredibly telling that parasocial relationships seem to be a much bigger problem. Celebrity culture has always had it's problems, but we've gotten to the point whe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/25 04:45 PM |
| 0 | This sub’s idea of the “average man” is way off from the general population.I have two definitions of an average man, one based on the "statistical" average and another based on what I think a 5/10 guy is in my head. i.e. most people can be "below average" in terms of what I think absolute beauty norms are, but be "average" in relative terms. Anyway. Relative "Average": What most men probably are (yes technically that's "mode" if you want to get technical). Median-ish salary at "normal" job. Basically the entire range between "minimum wage" and "doctor/lawyer/architect.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/10/25 04:37 PM |
| 1 | I don't understand how unattractive people can stand to have sex with each other.Okay, at the extremes stuff like that can matter, but my point is that basic anatomy is hard to screw up. That's why sex between unattractive people can still happen or even be enjoyable: the actual, mechanical acts of sex itself aren't directly impacted by a lot of things that are visually attractive or unattractive. Crooked teeth doesn't affect anyone's genitals (outside of oral, I suppose). Bigger breasts or shinier hair don't affect genitalia. Plenty of people can have a belly or love handle… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/10/25 05:09 PM |
| 1 | I don't understand how unattractive people can stand to have sex with each other.Long story short, skin is still skin and organs are still organs, regardless of what the person's hair, face, clothes, etc are. Take your pick of phrase: "attraction is chemistry, sex is physics" or "Everyone is beautiful in the dark." or "Sex is like pizza. Even when it's bad it's still pizza." Anatomy vs. Attraction I will admit I'm a virgin, but I do have some intimate experience, and on a logical basis I can understand that the actual mechanics of intimacy (anatomy) are different from the me… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/10/25 02:05 PM |
| 1 | TYT the Leftist media criticizes AOC for mocking that guy for being short... Surprise ehThat all the good men should be able to take a punch. Someone literally commented something like this to me on another sub some months ago. I was talking about how wrong it is to prejudge men and they replied something like "A good man understands women's fears." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 20/10/25 09:34 PM |
| 9 | Sexual inclusivity and sex being a solution to sexlessness is not THAT big of a far-fetched idea.bdsm clubs BDSM is a subculture, not a counter culture. It has more or less the same beauty standards and social norms as mainstream society. It's just that the people there have more niche sexual interests on top of the usual dynamics and problems. Seriously, even in femdom (female domination), it's still expected that men ask women out. You would honestly not believe how wildly prudish, traditional, and closed off the kink community can be. Even among the good people, it's not this fun sexy fa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/10/25 01:12 PM |
| – | In your experience, which men get all the girls?I think the people who get really ahead of the game in high school and college, or who have some kind of strong cultural network like church. They may not be "players" in the stereotypical sense of getting lots of women, but I do believe that college should have been the place for me to take my shots: Everyone is more or less 2-4 years apart from each other, and in the same social class of "student." Every class is essentially 10-30 people being made to spend time with each other for several mon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/25 03:16 AM |
| 3 | A lot of people underestimate how big of a role alcohol and a general lack of inhibition play in hookup culture. Sober people (man, woman, or anyone else) do not commonly make out or hook up easily all the time.I think raw attraction still matters more: online dating is done sober and I think the results are clear enough. That said, I'll add that another thing is that your alcohol impairment is recursive: you can be impaired in knowing how impaired you are. You're drunk and you're more drunk than you think. My very first time getting drunk, I remembered sitting at the bar thinking it was so overrated. I was reading an online article pretty clearly. Then I got up and almost fell down after a couple step… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/10/25 12:09 AM |
| 6 | Performative males are more attractive to women, at the expense of their own dignityI never really understood the whole trend. People said for years that men need to curate themselves online, and then when they do they're accused of being performative. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/10/25 02:30 AM |
| 1 | What's the difference between red flags and flaws in your opinion?A red flag is something dangerous. A flaw is something you're simply not attracted to. Insisting you meet alone and not in public for a first date is a red flag. Being a smoker is a flaw. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/25 10:22 PM |
| – | Some (and I’d like to reiterate some) men on here aren’t looking for a debate, they have cop out answers for every valid point you bring up; this sub is a pity party for them, a place to find temporary solace.You can't really interact with women beyond rejection when first messages on your rare matches don't get replies, or the only people who reply are scammers. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/10/25 01:19 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Your age-appropriate date has a collection of romance novels, fanfiction, and Disney Princess stuff. Red flag? Or no big deal?No, for a few reasons. Hobbies are simply a non-factor in how I judge or am attracted to someone. I can't really imagine ever getting to a point where I could filter people out based on what they do in their free time. Most of the time I just don't have the energy in my life to harshly judge other people for things that don't directly affect me. I don't see children's hobbies as childish. I can even appreciate them in a "Adult money means buying all the toys, concert ticket, etc. I want." way. T… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/10/25 02:32 PM |
| 4 | Removing access to abortion and birth control won’t make women want dependable average men more -- it’ll make them avoid men altogetherI don't really think it matters either way for men who aren't already attracting women. In a high risk environment, only the highest rewards are worth it. In a low risk environment, high rewards are the best payoff. I've seen literature address "the promiscuity myth" of birth control and it seems to me that the risk of pregnancy doesn't affect women's behavior as much as one would think. No matter how low that risk gets, it doesn't affect men's attractiveness. To use a different medication, a he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/10/25 03:25 PM |
| 6 | What is your ideal partner like?I don't really make any demands of femininity. I am attracted to a wide range of styles. Even if it doesn't fit some nominal fantasy preference, I'd learn to like it the way I'd like a chair I can't adjust: awkward metaphor but take it in the best intention. Even if I didn't like her presentation at first, it could grow on me and it'd reach a point where her changing would bother me. I've spent so much of my life achieving and focusing on other goals (financial, career, personal, fitness, etc.) … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/10/25 10:48 PM |
| 9 | Why is big size so sexualized compared to other sizes?I think many men want some sort of instant "in" for them, even if on a fetishistic level. Trying to attract women feels extremely hard if it's even possible, so it's a deep male fantasy to simply "be" sexy or attractive based on an innate trait. I want to simply walk around with a six-pack (once I get it) and get attention the way a man can be attracted to a woman because of her breasts. I think wanting women to be widely attracted to size, or wanting to emphasize this perception, is part of tha… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/10/25 12:15 PM |
| – | When you talk about your dating standards, what are you referring to? When others talk about their dating standards, what do you think they mean?Standards are the minimum viable product in the dating market. It's the bare minimums of someone like "I can date a smoker but not someone who does hard drugs." or "Must be X height or not overweight." or "Live independently." A standard is something that would violate your self-respect or personal values if you went beneath it, like a religious person getting with a non-religious person out of desperation. This is in contrast to a preference, which is a "nice to have" quality among people you a… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/10/25 10:04 PM |
| 1 | State-sponsored prostitutionGood intentioned but bad idea with lots of side effects. For example, there would be a lot of political drama over whether these people would have the same pension rights as other government workers. I also don't think that this will reduce violence or fulfill people. A huge part of male sexuality is wanting to win over or be chosen by a woman, and a lot of sexually predatory people can already get what they want "for free." by taking it from real life victims. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 09:41 PM |
| 2 | Average man could put more effort in his appearance and it wouldn't change a thingLosing facial fat is contouring for men. One content creator I used to follow even went so far as to say a person doesn't actually know what they look like until they lose weight. As someone on that journey, fat loss is everywhere. Belly fat is the main target but I've lost a shoe size along the way. My arms have a vascularity to them; I can see the biggest vein even without flexing or posing. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 05:52 PM |
| 7 | The advice that “men need to stop showing interest in order to actually attract women” only works for certain top % men. It’s horrible advice and a catch 22 situation.It’s that desperation, willingness to “take anything”, Having standards as a man is also seen as unattractive sometimes. If you try to seek out a certain type of woman, your intentionality can be shamed. I.e. "Trying too hard.", "Stop forcing it." If you don't take anything, people can say you're a beggar who wants to be a chooser. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 05:15 PM |
| 8 | Does virgin-shaming exist?Calling people "incel" can be a form of it. The implication is often that someone isn't just a virgin, but a virgin because they're a bad person. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/10/25 01:12 PM |
| 4 | CMV: Inexperienced men who want to improve should get practice girlfriendsThis movie exists. No Hard Feelings is about this socially awkward upper middle class male virgin whose parents want him to get some experience before heading to college. Their idea is to offer a car to an attractive woman in exchange for having sex with him. Hijinks and life lessons ensue. Bonus: the male virgin works at an animal shelter, which I find funny because it's basically one of the big "meet women" hobbies people hype up. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/10/25 06:02 PM |
| 1 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?It’s just unhealthy to pursue a relationship with someone who has absolutely nothing going for him and doesn’t believe he has worth outside of having a relationship. This is really jumping to conclusions. People can have plenty of things going for them while still feeling awful simply for not having sex. If anything, having a put together life makes it worse. I was taught in high school to focus on my studies, because the real relationships would be in college. College comes, and I am told that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 05:05 PM |
| 2 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?Valid points, but for a lot of people I think getting together can cure some amount of desperation. I think a lot of people, admittedly myself included, missed those formative first loves and got to a point where they really kind of do "need" to be able to prove "they can do it" to move on. It almost feels like the social equivalent of never having had a job. I don't like this trap where it seems like wanting a relationship is unattractive, like refusing to watch a movie with someone until they'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 05:01 AM |
| 5 | LOOKS WEEKLY DISCUSSION THREADI think it might be one of those things that became way cheaper over time, especially when you consider that "time" these days goes by super fast; the 2010s and 2020s don't feel flavorful enough for me to be distinct eras, so more or less 15 years worth of memories feels like it's taken place over the course of maybe 5 years. I'll be remembering something that felt 2 years ago and suddenly realize it was almost a decade ago. As a kid, I remember flatscreen TVs being a Black Friday only kind of t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 04:53 AM |
| 8 | Why do u claim sëx or datìng doesn't matter when u all are themselves not celibatê ?I think this ignores how people are social. It's honestly backwards to expect people to love themselves first. It's like saying "You shouldn't have friends until you love yourself first." Humans need connection and community. We can't be fully self-actualized, emotionally-independent people before having a meaningful connection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/10/25 04:49 AM |
| 5 | Average man could put more effort in his appearance and it wouldn't change a thingIn this respect, I think not wearing the stained graphic tee and old sweatpants could move the needle on an unattractive man, possibly significantly - but still perhaps not enough to actually make him attractive. He may simply go from cave dwelling troll to I wouldn't be embarrassed to be seen with him on the street if he appears to be a platonic friend or uncle. This was my experience. For most of my life I was on the high end of overweight or low end of obese. I lose weight over two bouts (one… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/10/25 02:18 PM |
| 5 | The reason women aren’t engaging with men is not fear of violenceYou're welcome. If you'd like the original text comes from Chapter 8 Power: Institution and Authority where she is simply running down ways people can have control over others. The chapter heading might be enough to provide context, but even the opening sentence doesn't actually say "it's not about sex." It's literally just pointing out there are more ways to control someone than by physically overpowering them. All rape is an exercise in power, but some rapists have an edge that is more than ph… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/10/25 06:55 PM |
| 6 | The reason women aren’t engaging with men is not fear of violenceYou're welcome. It's definitely a "pop science" thing that took a nuanced point and turned it into a one-liner that's lost all connection to where it came from. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/10/25 04:08 PM |
| 27 | The reason women aren’t engaging with men is not fear of violenceAs a male rape victim who was even date raped by another man I've been thinking about what happened to me a lot, and my general verdict is that rape is a violent crime problem, not a dating problem. I do not mean this in a "Gotcha!" sense, but in a very real safety planning sense. Rape prevention and self-defense from violent crimes is something everyone should learn regardless of whether they want to have a sex life or not. On paper, I'm the perfect example of why dating men is dangerous. I wen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/10/25 03:29 PM |
| 11 | Have You Experienced or Witnessed Mistreatment of Men Based on Physical Appearance or Social Status?It seems to me as though while women are held to higher appearance standards, men's appearances can be called out more harshly than women. "Your hair's fucked up go fix it." (i.e. if it's uncombed) "You look like a homeless person." (whenever I grow out a bit of facial hair and don't style it. It looks bad but I think it goes too far) "Your hair looks nasty." (context: just basic head hair and static from wearing a cap in the winter) | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/10/25 01:06 PM |
| 2 | If women don’t dress provocatively for men, what do they do it for?He has abs, which would be really cool as a fitness achievement that I'm actually working towards, but I will admit even then a large part of that is hoping other people will find me attractive. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 09:34 PM |
| 2 | If women don’t dress provocatively for men, what do they do it for?It's not me choosing to outsource it. I cannot be attractive by definition if I do not attract anyone. I cannot feel sexy if nobody wants to have sex with me. I can't have confidence from an outfit I wear privately if it never achieves results with others | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 09:22 PM |
| -1 | If women don’t dress provocatively for men, what do they do it for?I get where you're going, but what would a straight man wear to feel sexy? Mens bodies and clothes simply aren't sexualized the way women are. I can't feel hot in a tuxedo or suit because I've only ever known that for "grandma compliments" like "handsome." It's workplace/formal wear, not sexual wear. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 06:41 PM |
| 4 | Dance events or classes are a preferable alternative to dating appsComments like this are a bit depressing, since it seems as though women are turned off by men being attracted to them. We get caught in this trap where we have to take initiative, but somehow not intentionally achieve our goals. It's just so absurd. I'd be flattered if someone was so into me they pretended to like one of my hobbies. Can you imagine a gay man getting upset that a non-sports guy pretended to like football just to have a chance at sex? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/09/25 01:36 PM |
| 6 | Dance events or classes are a preferable alternative to dating appsI was actually going to try this next. It's pretty much one of the last things I haven't tried. As a counterpoint, because it's obligatory due to the "Debate" flair (itself mandatory since you're making affirmative claim), I'd say that dancing is going to be very location and demographic dependent, and probably has a higher skill floor than other activities. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/25 04:03 AM |
| 3 | Current cultural/gender war is partly a fight over who multi-million dollar companies should pander toThe way I see it is this: "culture war" issues are genuinely important, they just have diminishing returns the more specific you get. Dating is a subset of gender politics, which is a subset of cultural politics, which is a subset of politics. Even within dating, you get into actual policy issues like "How should courts handle divorce cases?" or "Governments subsidize marriage with tax laws and leave single people behind." It's just that you also have more ragebait and poo-slinging in culture wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/09/25 03:57 AM |
| 2 | There's nothing wrong with men not caring as much about the "work and school" of the women they date.I'm sexually attracted to people's bodies, not their hobbies, and I would want any sex partner to feel the same about my body and my hobbies. If anything, I find it liberating: they don't need to alter their lifestyle to be hot to me, because they simply are hot. Likewise, I would want to simply "be hot" to someone regardless of what I do in my free time. My hobbies are themselves enjoyable: it's being sexually desired that's one of the only things I miss in my life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/09/25 04:37 PM |
| 1 | The 50/50 model is a bad deal for women. It's just a roommate situation with sex, and it becomes outright exploitative if you have kids.First, for couples without kids: how is a 50/50 boyfriend any different from a roommate you sleep with? This is the dynamic that I'm looking for, and the main thing I see is romantic companionship. Even on days without sex, there would still be a constant sexual tension and comfort in the presence of people who love each other in a way that wouldn't exist in a financially equivalent scenario i.e. two roommates who literally just have sex, with no other emotional or romantic intimacy, or a couple… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/09/25 11:06 PM |
| 1 | "Consent" is a thing that more men should reject and more women should enforce according to their respective definitionMy personal go-to is "Everyone understands consent when it comes to a gun, pets, or leftover food." Pick your favorite. Nobody decides to get "spontaneous" or thinks "actually body language is most of communication" when it comes to reaching for someone else's holster. People also generally respect someone else's pets. "Can I pet them?" People will make sure that the last slice of pizza in the fridge is all-clear to take, but go from kissing to grabbing genitals because "How was I supposed to kn… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/25 08:04 PM |
| 3 | "Consent" is a thing that more men should reject and more women should enforce according to their respective definitionBelieve it or not, "No" or "stop" isn't a magic word that will stop someone who believes they can take whatever they want regardless of a woman's feelings. I learned this the hard way, and it's scary how some people don't get this. People can get really invested into the idea that rape is mostly a misunderstanding. I was on a date with someone in public who demanded sexual acts. I told them no repeatedly, after which they threatened me to into a private place with them. I gave into the threats, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/25 06:04 PM |
| 1 | who is more valuable to you, a prostitute or a regular slut?Upfront, I'm not someone who really cares about body count, and doesnot want to pay for anything. Still, it's an interesting question and my reaction depends on the relationship and if they were still working or not. A. Short term, still working: I'd appreciate the "I dated a stripper, OF, etc." fantasy coming to life. I'd feel a sense of superiority in being someone who didn't have to pay. B. Long term, still working: Extremely fraught situation since my reputation would become more tied to her… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/09/25 01:30 PM |
| 3 | "Consent" is a thing that more men should reject and more women should enforce according to their respective definitionAll of this gets even more fun when you learn even your wife can accuse you of rape... Do you think that women shouldn't be able to refuse consent in marriage? What do you mean by this? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/25 08:47 PM |
| 3 | "Consent" is a thing that more men should reject and more women should enforce according to their respective definitionI know the legal system is often awful but a lot of this applies to anyone accused of any crime. I don't see how it's rape or domestic violence specific, or how this means women have power over men. The police make the choice to arrest, not the person who calls. The prosecutor charges people, not the alleged victim. Calling 911 is giving control to everyone else, not yourself. It's not smooth, effortlessly sailing. People in civil lawsuits do have to pay lawyers and open themselves up to discove… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/25 04:13 PM |
| 8 | "Consent" is a thing that more men should reject and more women should enforce according to their respective definitionHow do you think accusing people of crimes works? Do you honestly think that people walk into a police station and just ruin lives on a whim like going through a fast food drive-thru? Police and prosecutors charge people with crimes, not random civilians. Civilians are extremely powerless to do anything. Male or female, they don't have state power at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/09/25 02:22 PM |
| 5 | Every woman beater I've ever met was almost constantly in relationshipsWhile we're talking about crime I wonder if drug subcultures are the secret sauce in why your put together post college white-collar guy can't find a girlfriend but the "low value criminal" does. Perhaps "normal" guy goes to a bar and leaves because he just sees women hanging out with friends, but perhaps not-put-together guy has the friends come to him as a trusted trip-sitter or fellow user. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 09:46 PM |
| 14 | Every woman beater I've ever met was almost constantly in relationshipsBut that's the point. Most lonely men don't complain "I get tons of first dates but no second." or "I've never had a relationship last longer than 2 months." It's "Where are single women?" and "I haven't gotten a match in 2 months." There is something about abusive men that enables them to get relationships that peaceful, law abiding men don't have. The problem and question is what that is. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 05:43 PM |
| 11 | Every woman beater I've ever met was almost constantly in relationshipsBecause beaters spend all of their time seeking out relationships and vulnerable people they're able to abuse. I can understand this on a higher strategic level, but what about the tactical level? Where do the DV/IPV perpetrators actually meet single women, if many ordinary men completely struggle to find them? A lot of abusive tactics only make sense when they're already in a relationship. "Lovebombing" can't start if an abuser shows up to a co-ed sport and there's no single women on the team. … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 05:23 PM |
| 5 | Men who gave up, why are you still here ?I haven't given up entirely, but I've become extremely disillusioned at my chances. I keep discussing these topics because it's a glimpse into the other side. It shows me I'm not alone. It allows me to talk about otherwise taboo topics. It allows me to get the occasional nugget of wisdom or a original observation. For example, someone a while ago mentioned that men and women mean different things by "casual sex". Men, so the comment went, like sex in the abstract. Casual sex means a one night st… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/09/25 02:25 AM |
| 11 | Why must girls nights and / or girls trips (ie excluding and disconnected from your partner) include places that are known for flirting, hooking up, etc?If you’re a single woman who IS looking for romance, you can’t just go to the bars by yourself—you need a group of friends to go with you. I can understand why single women don't go out by themselves for safety reasons, but how does being in a group help find romance? Women don't approach men at bars, men don't approach because "She's here to hang out with her friends not get asked out by strangers.", and I when I look around I always see women's groups insular rather than being open to others c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | If you think that you can have ‘good’ to ‘mind blowing’ sex with strangers; your definition of ‘good to mind blowing’ sex is… Limited. CMV.Sexual novelty and validation can amazing in itself. Some people don't need sexual attraction to or from a specific person. It can be about themselves ("someone wants to have sex with me and that is sexy") or about the act itself ("Doesn't matter, had sex.") This can go double for desperate, insecure, or inexperienced people. Any experience, even if objectively bad or mediocre, can be mindblowing for the first time with no reference point on anything better. "Arousal nonconcordance" is also a th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/09/25 01:08 PM |
| 5 | "Positive masculinity" does not help modern men.Reeves lost me with his redshirting idea. Men already struggle to be economically and professionally attractive and seen as successful. Redshirting means men have 1 less year of income in their lives and are still 1 year behind women. It also doesn't help boys of the same age catch up | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/09/25 12:08 PM |
| 6 | Men have it harder in dating than women doyes that she then cancels without attempting to reschedule, which is still a no These nuggets of insight are why I stay on this sub. I still hate it when it happens to me but I can respect the process of the other side now that I think about it. If a woman matched with me and changes her mind, she could have potentially angered a person who knows her first name, face, job, and approximate location. If she pretends she can't make it then it looks blameless or maybe even I unmatch or block first. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/09/25 06:02 PM |
| 4 | Why do you feel pressured to pursue women?Pursuing women is a basic instinct. No matter how much we may criticize women in ideological terms, we are still attracted to them, the same way no critique of an economic system means you don't have to go to work. Pursuing women is also the only way romance or sex happens for a man. Waiting for it to "happen naturally" or "just live our lives" is a failing strategy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/09/25 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Why don't women like hearing a lot of men's attractiveness is outside of their control?The absolute best looking women are amazing, but the average woman is not really presenting herself that much better. Obesity rates between men and women are mostly the same, and I see awful selfies on women's profiles all the time. Horrifically, many of them take photos in public bathrooms or locker rooms. Stuff like makeup and skincare is not necessary for male attention, and doesn't move the needle the way I see most women wear it. Sure, clothes and makeup help, but men don't turn down sex be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/09/25 07:11 PM |
| -5 | MeToo movement has ‘absolutely destroyed’ menWhere is your data? Who was approaching women, heard sexual harassment complaints in the media, and then decided to stop approaching? Do you walk everywhere because of DUI crackdowns, because "people can't drive anywhere anymore"? Cold approaches were legal but rare before MeToo, and legal and rare after MeToo. EDIT: Any further downvotes just prove people aren't engaging in good faith. | /r/MensRights | 12/09/25 06:06 PM |
| -4 | MeToo movement has ‘absolutely destroyed’ menThis is like saying that the Civil Rights Act makes it dangerous to be friends with black people. If a man can't work with women that's his problem. | /r/MensRights | 12/09/25 05:29 AM |
| -6 | MeToo movement has ‘absolutely destroyed’ menWhat evidence do you have of this? Many MeToo stories were about workplace harassment between known people. They weren't about one-off cold approaches by strangers. The shift to online dating destroyed in-person approaches, but that was happening long before it took off in 2017. Approaching people in person has been on the out for a long time. | /r/MensRights | 12/09/25 05:10 AM |
| 1 | I think men should become more vocal about innocent until proven guilty.I also find it a little disturbing that you seem to see rape as a men vs. women issue, when it's a criminals vs. victims issue, of both sexes. There are male rape victims that shouldn't have their claims made artificially harder by demands for more than their testimony. A single, uncorroborated witness is enough to prove a crime beyond a reasonable doubt, and rape should be no exception. | /r/MensRights | 12/09/25 01:55 AM |
| 1 | I think men should become more vocal about innocent until proven guilty.False rape allegations are also a crime couple that with having the identity of the accuser hidden effectively makes it legal to falsely accuse a man of rape too. If the police or prosecutors think someone is lying, I don't think there's anything that can prevent them from charge them under their full name under a different crime. Additionally, people don't actually testify anonymously; someone's name being redacted or initialed on a court ruling still means they'd say their name in the actual t… | /r/MensRights | 11/09/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | I think men should become more vocal about innocent until proven guilty.There's plenty of safeguards in place, same as any other crime. Witnesses are cross examined. There's a right to a jury trial, and a right to be involved in the jury selection process. Burden of proof is on the prosecution. The standard is beyond a reasonable doubt. There's a right to an attorney. There's also the fact that anyone who reports a rape needs the police to arrest and the prosecutor to charge the defendant. They can choose not to arrest or charge, and there's little people can do abo… | /r/MensRights | 11/09/25 09:50 PM |
| 1 | I think men should become more vocal about innocent until proven guilty.How many people were falsely jailed when it was their word vs a womans, I wonder I don't know the answer to that question, but debates about the prevalence of false reports are irrelevant to a given case. What matters is the specific credibility of those involved. Yes, humans can lie. What matters is whether any given person is lying. Witnesses can testify about crimes they see happen. If you see a robbery, the prosecution can call you as a witness. When a crime is alleged to happen to someone, … | /r/MensRights | 11/09/25 09:31 PM |
| 1 | I think men should become more vocal about innocent until proven guilty.Of course, this tenet can be inconvenient when you want to destroy someone's life. So you just drop it. And people just accept it like sheep. No it can't. Witness testimony is evidence.l, and the burden of proof in sexual assault cases is the same as in others. Witnesses still have to testify to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt. If someone says "I was raped by this person.", that is evidence and people are allowed to believe them. Additionally, it's important not to confuse a restraint on g… | /r/MensRights | 11/09/25 05:43 PM |
| 2 | To what extent is the contention that men are falling behind in life accurate?I grew up in the special needs system before "mainstreaming". I've seen a lot of men and boys and my general take is two main points. Many extremely flawed men (i.e. literal felons) get girlfriends and wives, but this is a different market. The college-educated, suburban or urban, white collar, secular, middle class dating scene is what I feel most of "modern dating" is complaining about. I don't fully understand dating even in my own culture, but I feel safe saying the kind of women who date dr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/09/25 01:37 PM |
| 0 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!I'm trying to explain how this is important to civil rights. Do you think that prosecutors just say "Here's the DNA?" We need to know how it was collected, if the tests were run properly, if the chain of custody is safe, and so on. The prosecution needs to prove its own evidence is the real deal, otherwise it could fabricate things and undermine defendants' rights. That's why even physical evidence still depends on witnesses a lot of the time, because it's people who collect, test, and store evi… | /r/MensRights | 10/09/25 01:33 AM |
| 2 | Quick reference guide to debunking myths spread by the manosphereThis one doesn't even need a link to debunk. While women do swipe right less frequently, women only swiping on 5% of men does not mean women are swiping right on the same 5% of men. The smaller percentage of men women are attracted to, the greater diversity and difference there must be for it to not be concentrated, and either way there's less attention for men. For example, imagine there's 10 women and 10 men. If each woman only likes 1 man, that's only 10 outgoing likes for 10 men. Every woman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/09/25 09:51 PM |
| 0 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!So you're fine with evidence being admitted without foundation? Evidence needs authentication and one of the main ways to do that is witness testimony. IN GENERAL. To satisfy the requirement of authenticating or identifying an item of evidence, the proponent must produce evi- dence sufficient to support a finding that the item is what the pro- ponent claims it is. (b) EXAMPLES. The following are examples only—not a complete list—of evidence that satisfies the requirement: (1) Testimony of a Witn… | /r/MensRights | 09/09/25 09:33 PM |
| 0 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!How do you think forensic evidence is admitted? Evidence needs to be authenticated to be admissible, and witness testimony and opinions are a way to do that. Witness testimony is a really important part of due process. It guards against false convictions. If you can introduce a lab report without any testimony or other evidence its authentic, that means anyone can just make a piece of paper that says the DNA matches. | /r/MensRights | 09/09/25 06:18 PM |
| 0 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!Forensic evidence depends on witness testimony, like the testimony of who collected it and who tested it. Even then consent is an issue, and that can be fully determined by a single credible witness. | /r/MensRights | 09/09/25 12:26 PM |
| 28 | Is the "male loneliness epidemic" a narrative or not? Apparently there are articles that say that the "loneliness epidemic" affects both genders equallyMy take is that it depends on what you mean by "loneliness". One person can mean "I have a best friend but we only get together for lunch once a month." while another can mean "The only woman who's ever given me a compliment is mom." I think friendships are hard for everyone, but there’s also a distinct issue of male sexlessness that gets euphemized into "loneliness" because openly complaining about dating as a man has become far-right-coded. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 09/09/25 04:13 AM |
| 5 | If women like different men, why are there so many men not liked by anyone?I think men and women have different definitions of loneliness or have different thresholds for social interaction. Someone might feel lonely because their best friend hasn't called them back in a week. Someone could feel lonely because the only person who has ever hugged them was their own parents. I also feel like "loneliness" for men is often a socially-acceptable way to say "sexless" or "single", while women are actually talking about strength or number of all kinds of connections. While I'v… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/25 11:43 PM |
| 5 | If women like different men, why are there so many men not liked by anyone?I understand the preference men have for skinnier women, but at the same time I feel like there's still a place for those outside that. There is a fetish sub with a member count almost twice as large as the active members of China's ground forces (1.9 million to about 960,000) and that's just the largest one, just on reddit. Even if someone is repulsed by the idea of being fetishized, it speaks to a broader preference. For every person who joins an actual porn/NSFW community there have to be mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/09/25 11:29 PM |
| -2 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!Witness testimony, even uncorroborated, doesn't undermine presumption of innocence. POI is about the burden of proof being on the prosecution. Having a witness testify convincingly is a burden, and if they are not believed, then it's not considered proven. If someone doesn't believe a given witness, or believes a witness over a defendant, that's a disagreement about the weight of the evidence. It doesn't change the burden of proof. There seems to be this weird idea that rape accusations are some… | /r/MensRights | 05/09/25 06:13 PM |
| -1 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!This would effectively make rape legal, since it's a very private crime. What are rape victims supposed to do? Also, why only rape? Why not other crimes? | /r/MensRights | 04/09/25 09:52 PM |
| -1 | Male boss did not sexually harass HR worker because he put hand on her shoulder in a 'fatherly' way, tribunal rules OP: Why did she ever think that this was a sexual assault!This is not true. People testify and it's up to those listening to weigh credibility. It is not "nearly impossible" to defeat false allegations. | /r/MensRights | 04/09/25 09:44 PM |
| 4 | Anytime a woman is giving a dating advice for men, that advice only works for men who don't need it.I can't speak for everyone but my takes are: I lean harder into the "nature" part of this. Testosterone seems to explain a lot, and the basic idea of "Pregnancy is more physically costly to women, therefore they are instinctually more selective." makes sense. Alternatively, if women's base drives are close to men's, I wonder if it is more easily influenced by culture or personal experience. Desperation and higher base drive, but also probably because we're more inclined to seek out sex, so there… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/09/25 01:04 PM |
| 3 | Dinner is not "the bare minimum" because in current year, every girl has slept with at least one guy without the need for itOP is saying that men shouldn't have to pay for dates. It's not about paying for sex. Sex is something two people have. It's not taken from a woman, and men are vulnerable in that kind of situation just like women, so both are taking a safety risk too. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 09:47 PM |
| 9 | Anytime a woman is giving a dating advice for men, that advice only works for men who don't need it.How are men hard to understand? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 12:05 PM |
| 2 | There are tons of attractive men alone, very few attractive women are alone as well, and average men have no problem pairing with womenwhat he looks like other than looking younger than his own age (which actually doesn't always look good on a man) My therapist once suggested that maybe one reason I don't get matches is because people suspect my profile is an FBI honeypot. Height and babyface when shaven will do that. I once had someone at a gym ask me what grade I am when I was working out with them, and it brings up mixed feelings. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 02:51 AM |
| 3 | There are tons of attractive men alone, very few attractive women are alone as well, and average men have no problem pairing with womenMy question is how those couples even met. How many of these people are post-college nonreligious virgins? That's the group that's key here. Every single couple I know was either a high school/college sweetheart situation, from the same religious community, older (i.e. got together 10+ years ago), or I knew the woman as a single person rather than the man (survivorship bias). Romance seems like star formation: I only ever really see the ones already formed. I don't really get to see the process … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 02:47 AM |
| 1 | Women do not like sex (not as men understand sex)So you're saying it's a question of gender ratios, then? Interesting argument. I hadn't thought of that. So the clergy removes an entire class of men, and high class men at that, from marriage and sex (at least on paper). This leads to less competition among men and possibly a reversed F:M balance in those actually seeking? I could see where this might have an effect, but maybe not to the point where people could unironically say that women were more sexual than men, without some serious reading… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 02:37 AM |
| 6 | Women do not like sex (not as men understand sex),Women were once considered to be the sex crazed gender that men had to be protected from! The fact that female pleasure used to be considered mandatory is interesting to me, but this is where I disagree. Honestly I think a lot of the idea of men needing protection from women was projection of male sexual repression to justify assault or infidelity. I.e. "She was just so seductive! Really I'm the victim here." Cultures are different and times change quickly but biology is very slow, so that leve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/09/25 12:29 AM |
| 5 | It's more difficult for men to escape gender roles because being active and useful to others will always be more valuable and empowering than being passive. A passive woman who becomes active is by definition empowered, while an active man who becomes passive is discarded and outcompeted.I was trying to say there are practical constraints in trying to break gender norms. A working woman is empowered because she is literally making her own money. A man who stops working is simply unemployed. Society rewards (however unfairly or not enough) work. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/25 12:21 PM |
| 16 | It's more difficult for men to escape gender roles because being active and useful to others will always be more valuable and empowering than being passive. A passive woman who becomes active is by definition empowered, while an active man who becomes passive is discarded and outcompeted.Female gender roles can definitely be active too, which is why I was careful to say "paid labor" since I know housework and childrearing is also labor. My focus was on the dynamic men and women encounter in breaking them. I've noticed that women taking on male gender roles face a positive feedback loop that men don't get. The childless working woman is highly employable precisely because she is childless, and should she change her mind, she'd almost be punished for it. On the other hand, a full-… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/09/25 03:11 AM |
| -2 | “Men are expected to be attractive and/or funny, fun, charismatic, etc - women just have to exist”I think most men are talking about being attractive, not overall compatibility or niche preferences. A lot of those things can matter, but are relationship and niche demographic stuff. An attractive woman might get less attention because she has kids, but she's attractive. Childcare and cooking is a long term thing some men care about, not a baseline requirement to get any arousal at all. I don't want someone who takes my money, but that's not required for me to arouse me. I'd be aroused, then g… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/09/25 04:42 PM |
| 10 | “Men are expected to be attractive and/or funny, fun, charismatic, etc - women just have to exist”Yeah women just "existing" isn't enough for me or any man I know, unless it's just for purely casual sex This is literally the point. Women simply are sexually attractive to straight men as a baseline reality, while men have to do so much and maybe not even get a single date. Of course, not every woman can snap her fingers and get a line of suitors, and she may bot be able to find someone she likes back, but an absolute baseline female (i.e. 20-30 years old, no job, average face, no makeup, norm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/09/25 04:31 PM |
| – | You have no excuses for dating failures if you aren’t putting in 100%using solid pictures for the apps I spent around $1,000 in professional photos and even a custom bio. Outfits, hairstyle, and bio were curated by family including female relatives. Match rate remained the same around 0.25%, and many of those matches scammers. curating a very strong instagram women will love But isn't this being a "performative male"? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/09/25 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Do feminists and women live in a bubble?Not a gendered issue. I'd dare to say male rape victims have unique vulnerabilities. Ditto. I've been sexually harassed by a female coworker, and saw one instance of catcalling out in the wild. By my "lived experience", it's limited, but purely on what I've actually seen this is 100% evenly split. I am not from a culture where this is a concern so I won't comment. Not a gendered issue. Men face unique vulnerabilities, as do women. Anyone can abuse anyone. Again, I am not sure if this is a Wester… | /r/MensRights | 01/09/25 04:53 AM |
| 2 | Why do women do this?Lying about wanting commitment is not sexual coercion. Rape orgasms are a physical reaction, not fun from something agreed to. My rapist lied to me, but it was about agreeing to not have sex on the date then forcing me to once I got there. I didn't have enjoyable, consensual sex after promises of commitment. My body was violently violated. I wasn't simply given a sales pitch about the full product then ditched after the free sample. Even if you only gave consent because of it, consent includes t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/25 07:18 PM |
| 5 | Why do women do this?Dating advice for men sometimes pedestalizes women as having these super advanced social skills or sixth sense for men's personalities or dangerousness. I.e. that our insecurities about balding, height, nervousness about virginity is turning women off, or that women can "smell" being fake or something, and that "authenticity is attractive". It's common on the internet to blame men's personalities, or self-worth, or whatever on not being attractive to women. There is this idea that women can see … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/25 04:51 PM |
| 3 | Why do women do this?I get the idea of being used for something under false pretenses, but sex is shared. It isn’t given away. Men don't get the concept of being "used for sex" because A. Sex enough can be good enough for us. Almost nobody has to lie or manipulate a man into sex and B. so much of consent education is "You are owed and expect nothing. Anyone can abandon you at any time for any reason and don't question it." so we can't get the idea of being "used" in a mutual agreement with no strings attached. If so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/25 04:37 PM |
| 1 | What’s something you wish more people understood about being a man?Another fun replacement game I've used in politics is to ask if the reverse of the statement makes sense. For example, "We should decrease funding on X Program." is something to chew on, because "We should increase funding on X Program." would also be a legitimate stance to be debated. On the other hand, "We should support freedom." is relatively meaningless since nobody says "We should reduce freedom." unironically as an actual first principle. | /r/MensRights | 31/08/25 03:05 PM |
| 26 | The fertility rate is inextricably linked to women’s level of “knowledge”It's not just knowledge, but a lot of things about modern society. Industrialization and high tech jobs is a huge part of the shift from "kids are an asset" (more hands on the farm) to "kids are a burden" (more college debt to pay for). I think of the biggest stories in all of sociology is that the birth rate was artificially inflated for much of human history, and now we're seeing how many children people have under conditions when it's not necessary on an individual level. In high school we le… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/08/25 02:09 PM |
| 11 | Why it's controversial when a man says "women are attracted to a small percentage of men" when women themselves agree with this statement in their spaces ?Well, because abusers are liars Stuff like this always confuses me, for a lot of reasons. I'm not trying to argue. This truly is one of the deepest confusions I have over women's dating experiences, and I want to be clear where I'm coming from. I genuinely don't know what "ending up in an abusive relationship" actually looks like the way women describe it. Before an abuser can even lie to their victim, they need to have some sort of actual social connection, and I don't see how abusive men get t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 06:02 PM |
| 6 | Why it's controversial when a man says "women are attracted to a small percentage of men" when women themselves agree with this statement in their spaces ?I do try groups, but they just have different problems. We put stock into OLD because it's basically the only acceptable place in modern society where it's socially acceptable to approach women. Men are empathetic to women's complaints about safety and comfort, so we go online where women explicitly want to be approached, and we still don't get interaction. Most women meet men to date through their social circles, and are more guarded around men who cold approach. This is the problem. As an adul… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 03:52 PM |
| 16 | Why it's controversial when a man says "women are attracted to a small percentage of men" when women themselves agree with this statement in their spaces ?I don't really see how therapy helps. Most men never get to show their personality to a woman, since rejections happen so quickly in person, and you don't even get to match very often on apps. Besides, how do you explain the existence of abusive relationships? Any idea that men need to work on their personalities needs to address why domestic violence occurs at all. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 02:44 PM |
| 12 | Why it's controversial when a man says "women are attracted to a small percentage of men" when women themselves agree with this statement in their spaces ?putting on muscle, dressing better, and socializing outside more As for socialization, I do join different clubs and hobbies, but they're all either really small, or male oriented, or have married women, or women I'm not attracted to. Physically, I went on a weight loss journey and spent around $1,000 getting a custom made profile, top to bottom with professional photos and a custom bio. This was vetted by family including female relatives. My match rate remained the same ar around 0.25%, and mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/08/25 02:41 PM |
| 7 | Does a woman asking a man out make him respect her and the relationship less?No. I've never seen women as desperate for asking men out. Men in general don't place value on how much attention a woman gets, or would see reaching out as a sign she can't attract what she wants. We don't need that kind of "social proof" to be attracted, and we're not repulsed by a lack of it. If anything, I'd respect it as a sign of genuine desire. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/08/25 09:08 PM |
| 16 | What’s something you wish more people understood about being a man?That violent crime is an everyone problem, not a women's issue. Yes, this includes rape and domestic violence. How much traditional gender roles stay in place, but get rebranded with progressive language or therapy speak. Traditional Masculinity: "A real man is strong and doesn't cry, so loved ones don't know he's weak." Modern Masculiniy: "A good man is resilient and internally copes with his problems so others don't have to perform emotional labor." Traditional Masculinity: "A real man knows h… | /r/MensRights | 29/08/25 01:26 PM |
| – | The entire system is intended to fuel false hopesRarely do people outright say "Women don't have physical standards." Rather, it's that a lot of male dating problems are assumed to come down to pretty much everything but physical standards, or advice is given as if it doesn't matter. People don't directly say looks don't matter, but for example, someone on a dating sub you might ask "Is >height< attractive to women?" and they might get a "It's not your heigh it's your attitude." response. "Have interesting hobbies." or "Get better photos." or … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/25 11:15 PM |
| 1 | How should the playing field evened out for men who seek casual sex, when men and women are not equally open to casual sex?I think men who want casual sex should focus on pursuing women who are openly promiscuous and have high body counts I've never actually met these kinds of women online or in real life. On Tinder the matches I've gotten for "short term" are universally scammers. I don't think the problem is men judging women. It's not like there's an easily found community of sex positive women that's simply being rejected by traditional men who want some nympomaniac virgin. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/08/25 06:03 PM |
| 1 | If You Were A Woman, How Would You Date?In terms of what I value, more or less the same things I already do as a man: non smoker, not interested in having kids, similar age, financially stable, not super far away. Soft skills needed would be direct communication and whatever is implicitly needed (like money management) for the other things I want. Process wise, I would: Make account. Wait for likes. After a suitably large but manageable amount (say 100), pause account. Eliminate everyone without a visually attractive face and body. Th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/08/25 07:14 PM |
| 10 | The Science: A Few Hyper-Aggressive Men, Drive Violence StatsAnd this is without taking into account that a lot of homicides are going to be against other violent men i.e. gang warfare. Of course even criminals have families to mourn them, but it needs to be said that not even victim of "male violence" is a law abiding peaceful woman or girl. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 26/08/25 11:48 PM |
| 1 | How should average men pursue casual sex according to women?That makes sense. Thank you. For some reason I was assuming lying men were truly single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 05:09 PM |
| 3 | How should average men pursue casual sex according to women?I mean, not that I'd like to repeat them, if you're trying to make a "Please tell me what to avoid!" kind of joke. It's just that I find a lot of explanations and problems in dating discourse to be incomplete. For example, I can understand being bombarded by likes, but not messages since that usually requires you to match with someone first. Or perhaps dating apps work on a kind of "whaling" model where some men spend thousands of dollars paying to send messages to non-matches, so if there's eve… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 03:27 AM |
| 25 | Has anyone ever changed their mind or their side as a result of this sub?Yes. I used to think standards and behaviors were often unfair or moral in some way, but I've come to believe that a lot of differences between men and women are tragic, not evil. Many people are strategically rational from a game-theory or evolutionary point of view, even if individually it seems stupid or awful. Why do men swipe on everyone? Because it's more efficient to show their profile to as many people as possible, and saves him stress and time of having to be thoughtful about every swip… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/08/25 03:19 AM |
| – | Where do men go to meet women?I've tried all sorts of places, and here's my experience: Coed Sports and Exercise Classes: Even if you have a large team or class and a perfect gender ratio. In a room of 10 people there might only be 4-5 women, of which only 1-3 might be single, and then you consider whether there's anything about them that's actually attractive or interesting about them, and then you have to consider the same of them thinking of you. Speed Dating: I've been to 5 or 6 events. I believe 2 of these events I had … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/08/25 11:25 PM |
| 6 | How should average men pursue casual sex according to women?I've never really understood the whole "lying to get sex" thing, because I don't see what kinds of lies a man could tell, or how he would even communicate them to a woman, when the odds seem so low no matter what you do: In online dating, you generally can't even communicate with someone until they match with you, so you somehow have to get picked to even drop whatever you're selling. There aren't a lot of places in modern society where cold approaching is acceptable. Even bars and clubs are mor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/08/25 11:06 PM |
| 5 | Before lamenting that you aren't getting hookups you should make sure that you are indeed hookup material.That's a good point. As much as "anime-loving girlfriend who cosplays your waifu" is a male fantasy, it's still ultimately a niche genre of fashion, makeup, and costuming. In fact, it actually reminds me of a romance manga (My Dress-Up Darling) where the entire premise was a man who uses his expertise in doll-making to help out a female cosplayer. That's not exactly representative of manga-readers, to say the least. If I can think of a gender-reversed version, it'd be like a woman whose interest… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/08/25 10:24 PM |
| 28 | Before lamenting that you aren't getting hookups you should make sure that you are indeed hookup material.You have to look in the mirror and ask, honestly, "Would I fuck me? If not, why would anyone else?" This is made even harder by the fact that most men would probably date the female version of themselves. I'm not even just talking appearance-wise. Not to get too stereotypical, but I imagine a lot of introverted autistic men would absolutely love an introverted, autistic woman. A gamer, manga reader, coding guy, military historian, etc. would love a woman with the same hobbies. A man who wants to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/08/25 08:40 PM |
| 0 | You're not an "average" guy if you struggle in datingI've said this before: the post-college, post-swiping dating game is totally different. Everyone I know in a relationship right now is in one of four situations They met in a religious community: Not really applicable to the middle class, college educated professional man or stereotypical reddit atheist/agnostic that male virgins are more likely to be. They met in high school or college: Inapplicable to people who don't have that experience, and are now stuck in workplaces that are either male-d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 09:08 PM |
| 6 | I'd rather be a man finding a girlfriend than a woman finding a boyfriend.Women can approach men too, and they'd be more likely to get a yes, meanwhile there is almost nowhere in society where approaching as a man is generally acceptable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/08/25 07:10 PM |
| 4 | Women's dating profiles suck just as much as guys do, the difference is guys are just less picky about women.What do you mean tell a story? A lot of women's profiles seem awfully generic to me. A lot of people don't even look at the mirror when taking mirror selfies. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/08/25 03:31 AM |
| 68 | Feminist run newspaper mock the naivety to believe we can separate romance and even relationships from financial reality.financial stability is arguably a sound reason to prioritise the search for love. I would never expect financial help from a person I'm dating. I grew up in a culture and family that prioritized financial and life independence, and I expect the same from a partner. I cannot fathom dating someone for financial stability, as if my own instability should be a reason someone should date me, or that someone else should be a solution to my money problems. | /r/MensRights | 17/08/25 04:31 PM |
| 7 | Loneliness is rife among young men. It’s time to get offline and talk to each other | Alexander HurstThere seems to be this bizarre idea on the left, that you can somehow separate and quarantine the problems men are having with their sex lives from the rest of their lives. Which is even more bizarre, when you compare the attitude the left has toward gay men and women; to the attitude they have towards straight men. I find it particularly infuriating because "Just don't have sex." is a key pro-life argument, and the left typically counters it with this idea that abstinence is a completely unwork… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 17/08/25 03:18 PM |
| 3 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenAlcohol ofc exists as a social lubricant to make things easier But alcohol is expensive, unhealthy, tastes bad, and impairs consent. I don't drink, and I don't want my partner to have a habit. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/08/25 07:33 PM |
| 7 | Why have people started distancing themselves from the term ‘toxic masculinity’? — The Centre for Male PsychologyImagine if men created a demeaning term for when women adjusted their bras. | /r/MensRights | 15/08/25 10:39 PM |
| 6 | In online debate, women insist "Husband Material" always encompasses "Hookup Material", but in real life it's a distinct categoryYou want to valued for your bodies? Weird Some people feel it's dehumanizing to be treated like a sex object, but I think it's also dehumanizing to never be treated like one. I'm tired of trying to be the full package to ask for a chance to get my foot in the door. Just for once I'd like to simply be enough for someone by default, to just be hot. To just be attractive. It would be so empowering if my body alone was enough, and then everything on top of that was a bonus. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 05:47 PM |
| 12 | In online debate, women insist "Husband Material" always encompasses "Hookup Material", but in real life it's a distinct categorywoman wanting to spend time with you is such a horrible thing But that's just the thing. If I'm not attractive enough for sex, then why would she be putting up with me in a sexual relationship? When people say "you'd make a good husband", then probably don't mean "I'd love to sign a pre-nup and have lots of recreational sex, and if things don't work out I get nothing." Historically marriage has been about family, social status, and economics. Married couples can genuinely love each other, but th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 01:32 PM |
| 5 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenI've known many couples in my life, and they fall into a few categories: Met Through Religion Religion can be an amazing thing for many people's lives, and it's one of the few remaining third spaces left in modern society. Religion in my life is complicated but long story short I'm not part of a congregation. Met in High School/College/Grad School From the teenage years to graduation (however far someone wants to go along the path) is pretty much the last time in a typical US person's life that … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 02:09 AM |
| 5 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenI don't see single women at bars and clubs. Last time I went to a bar I took inventory of what kinds of people were there and every single woman was next to or across from a man at their own table. Adult social events are unreliable, and I haven't heard of too many parties that are open to strangers. Romance and sex is something I only ever see the aftermath of. I only ever see people who have it. I don't see them getting it. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 12:22 AM |
| 5 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenStraight up, you’ve never seen a girl see a guy smile at her and she looks down and smiles back? She might not even concisely know she’s doing it. Never. In public people act like strangers don't exist. In "social" spaces, there's a lot of calculus that goes into tables and benches. People follow urinal rules and space out. People watch their phones. People talk to friends they already has. I try to approach people and the conversations die, or they say they have a boyfriend, or are just out wit… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 12:10 AM |
| 3 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenIf this is your goal then you need to go places where women are also looking for men. I don't know if there's any place in modern society for people to meet each other. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/08/25 12:08 AM |
| 6 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenThat's why as they get older they gravitate towards people who make them feel seen as a person instead of just for their body. How is that different than just not being sexual? How are men supposed to take initiative to find women? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 10:59 PM |
| 2 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenIf I'm in a dive bar in Knoxville, talking abt UT and football wouldn't be a bad starting point. If I'm in a nice corporate mixer in NYC, industry or finance talk would be a better start, etc etc etc But that's just normal talk. How can you actually make it sexual? How are adult men supposed to express sexual interest in strangers? People don't seem into dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 10:58 PM |
| 4 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut people don't give signals. I know what "the signals" are. People tell me stuff like making eye contact twice, but this never happens. People mind their own business, look at their phones, or talk to friends/partners instead. I don't know where this romcom universe where grown adults are giving each other loving eye contact to strangers comes from. People just want to commit the bare minimum of life tasks and evacuate. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 10:57 PM |
| 7 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut you can't get to know people without social norms, and social norms for expressing sexuality don't really exist other than "Don't chase women.", "Stop trying to hit on them.", and "No, X is not the appropriate place." Openly expressed male heterosexuality is extremely taboo. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 10:55 PM |
| 7 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenI don't see single women at bars. People go out with friends and partners they already have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:45 PM |
| 4 | Don’t Underestimate Good Hygiene.When I wear professional business attire and get professional haircuts nothing happens. Also, poor hygiene doesn't explain poor performance in online dating. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:41 PM |
| 7 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut we need things that work reliably enough, or things that we can do so that we won't be seen as a bad person if it goes wrong. There needs to be a social norm, like "It's okay to ask women out at this time and place, and if they are upset that is their problem and we will defend your words and behavior." We need a rule we can follow to protect ourselves and make sure women feel safe too. Some people get annoyed by small talk, but if someone says "Hey, how are you?" we know nothing objectively… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:37 PM |
| 7 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut there's no rules on which to apply "best judgement". Social skills need rules and norms to work from. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:36 PM |
| 10 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut men don't want to make women uncomfortable or scared, and we don't want to be seen as predators. Women just seem to hate sexual attention, and we have no way to give it in a way we know they'll be inclined to like. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:35 PM |
| 12 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenBut there are reliable, socially accepted ways of doing things. That's why social norms exist. Some workplaces approve of facial hair and not others, but nobody complains about being clean shaven. It's the social norm. If someone ignorss an email, that's okay if they're on vacation. It's the social norm. Some workplaces demand 24/7/365 contact, but they'd be seen as overbearing, since it's not normal. If I say "Hello, how are you doing?" to a coworker, nobody can call that harassment, even if so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:31 PM |
| 12 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenwhat we hate is the fact you became a friend simply to get a girlfriend or to hit. But "make friends first" or "don't go there just to hit on people" is one kind of dating advice, because a lot of women don't like getting sexual attention. If being direct is a turnoff, and being indirect is a turnoff, what do men do? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:28 PM |
| 5 | There really isn't a correct way to approach womenI don't really understand the "used for sex" thing. Does it mean that someone is lying about offering something more, then leaving when they get sex? Does it refer to any kind of man who only offers casual sex, no matter how open he is about it? My understanding is that nobody is entitled to anything and can withdraw for any reason at any time. If the sex is consensual and mutually enjoyable then I see no problem, since they are both sharing sex rather than something one sided. Is the problem th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 05:16 PM |
| 1 | ‘Chad’ isn’t real. He’s a character made of the amalgamated imagination of frustrated dudes onlineAs a serious answer, I'd say I see a 7+ guy maybe a handful of times a month, but like you say, they're more varied. I don't believe everything that's said about "Chads", but I definitely think there is a distinct "Wow!" or "You know them when you see them." quality to some men that I will admit I don't have. I might see a guy with arm muscles that look like legs, or someone who is head and shoulders me, or who has a really sharp facial structure, or who has really amazing style, or who has a si… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/08/25 01:42 AM |
| 1 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.I wouldn't go as far as you but I definitely agree that "dating advice" has a real "relationship advice" problem. I've turned to AI for some help because it can be genuinely insightful on occasion, but other times it might pump out something to the effect of "Men are trained to hold in their emotions, which prevents them from achieving true intimacy." Okay, if your husband or boyfriend won't open up about his problems that's a bad thing, but that doesn't actually help someone become a husband or… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/08/25 02:24 AM |
| 8 | Your Geography dictates your dating.People say being near big cities helps but I disagree. Cities are nightmares for rural and suburban people to navigate, and city people may not even be able to head out at all. Cities are also an extremely closed off social environment because you tale the fear that people already have about basic social interaction and then add fear of crime, homelessness, and general disorder to it. People in cities mind their own business. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/08/25 05:25 PM |
| 20 | Many men’s dating problems come from expecting women to act like men.women run a huge risk of being used as a placeholder chick when they approach men because men will fuck women they even hate if she throws herself into his lap. But that's just "I wouldn't be attracted to him if he didn't approach." or "Effort is attractive." in reverse. It's validated when women feel it, and it's valid when men feel it. A man who approaches can be looking for only sex same as a man who gets approached. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 03:32 PM |
| 1 | If knowing your own attractiveness was like having a spider-sense, women generally have it way more finely tuned than men , and a lot of men don’t have it at all.Talk to people! What do your friends say? Siblings, cousins, coworkers? Ask PEOPLE. (And yeah, if you don't have people to ask, that's a very big clue why you aren't getting dates.) I don't really trust family to give me an objective opinion, and I wouldn't ask coworkers because they are not the target audience (if men) and it would feel really creepy (if women). I do have a female therapist who is giving me some advice, but no one in my actual life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 03:54 AM |
| 6 | "Be confident" is not an empty platitude. It has a real and useful definition.If it's the latter, would you like it if people tried to do the former on you if you are there for the latter? If not, then don't do it. I understand why women might be uncomfortable, but I don't think the reverse-situation works. I wouldn't mind women approaching me in everyday life. I can work out every day. A woman approaching me would be a first-in-a-lifetime experience. I know that a lot of women are uncomfortable with men approaching them, which is why I don't do so, but I don't really see… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 03:34 AM |
| 5 | If knowing your own attractiveness was like having a spider-sense, women generally have it way more finely tuned than men , and a lot of men don’t have it at all.I asked her for advice on it, so I think it's okay. I now realize it came off unsolicited. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 01:02 AM |
| 5 | If knowing your own attractiveness was like having a spider-sense, women generally have it way more finely tuned than men , and a lot of men don’t have it at all.But some men, myself included, have swiped through tens of thousands of people with not a single date etto show for it? Where else are we supposed to gauge our value and see what works? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/08/25 12:03 AM |
| 6 | If knowing your own attractiveness was like having a spider-sense, women generally have it way more finely tuned than men , and a lot of men don’t have it at all.I brought up my dating difficulties to my female therapist and she said I probably wasn't getting matches since I looked like a high schooler. EDIT: I explicitly asked her for feedback. She suggested I grow out facial hair and cut my hair shorter and I have. I still don't know what to do, though. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/25 11:54 PM |
| 18 | "Be confident" is not an empty platitude. It has a real and useful definition.How does this actually apply in day to day life? The next time I'm at the gym and I see an attractive woman with headphones on 4 treadmills away, what do I do? So much of modern culture is incredibly closed off and hostile to strangers, especially stranger men. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/08/25 11:39 PM |
| – | Online dating, If Truly Designed to Satisfy Users, Would Solve All Our Dating WoesLike I said. Where have you ever seen a "swipe" model in any other context? Literally gambling and gacha games are the only two things I can think of. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/25 04:34 PM |
| – | Online dating, If Truly Designed to Satisfy Users, Would Solve All Our Dating WoesPeople say "sexual marketplace" and "it's like online shopping" but no other online platform that honestly tries to connect people (even if as "game buyers" to "game developers") works like online dating does in its current state. For example, no other online service except maybe gambling or gacha games works on a swipe model. Steam doesn't hide the ball from video games, showing you one game at a time and asking to swipe left or right. You go right into the search bar, search for what you're lo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/08/25 02:54 AM |
| 10 | What exactly is a Chad?The former would be a "Chad", specifically that of the "hobosexual" variety if you're really into online slang. He's an attractive man who often scams or relies on a woman to cover his living expenses. The latter might be considered a "manlet", but I think that's too broad since it's just a derogatory term for short men in general. I think there was a more specific term for "short man who tries to become more muscular". I did some searches but I just come up with "gymcel.", but that doesn't fit … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/08/25 09:54 PM |
| 2 | I couldn't get help as a crime victim because of gender segregated support groups. Anyone else have similar experiences?Did they ever offer an explanation? I'm guessing they might have wanted to throw away the baby with the bathwater, and not let "My wife abuses me." make other men say "My wife can be nagging sometimes." For me, a huge part of my struggle is the fact that men and women basically have different cultures, and male culture has no safeguards or understanding of sexual assault. Being sexually assaulted was like being invaded by aliens: it was this worldview shattering event that basically nothing in m… | /r/MensRights | 08/08/25 05:18 PM |
| 0 | I couldn't get help as a crime victim because of gender segregated support groups. Anyone else have similar experiences?I get where you're going, and I know hypersexuality is a response some people have when they're attractive enough, but most men don't get to have that option. Drug addition and other high-risk activities would be common, but hypersexual, serially promiscuous guy is a male fantasy or ideal because it's out of reach. | /r/MensRights | 08/08/25 05:11 PM |
| 4 | I couldn't get help as a crime victim because of gender segregated support groups. Anyone else have similar experiences?The thing is that there are male-specific resources, but a lot of it is focused on married or older men who have childhood or institutional trauma. As a young man with a horrific dating experience, I'd relate far more to a young woman who also had a horrific dating experience, as opposed to another man who was assaulted in the prison or military, or who is dealing with resurfaced memories from his childhood summer camp. | /r/MensRights | 08/08/25 03:30 PM |
| 2 | CMV: Women choose to moralize men's dating successindicating that violent aggression from men is something that many women are attracted to. I wouldn't put too much stock into this, like how men play military video games yet volunteer-only militaries struggle to meet recruitment goals. Rape fantasies tend to be for complicated reasons, like the fantasy of being so attractive that someone "loses control" or something. It's like the female equivalent of a man thinking, but not actually wanting, "It would be so awesome if someone attacked me, so t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 10:55 PM |
| 5 | This is supposed to be a joke right?I've suspected "sapiosexual" (attraction to intelligence) may be another way to say this, but I'm not sure. | /r/MensRights | 07/08/25 12:27 PM |
| 1 | Typical dating advice for men vs typical dating advice for women shows who is really more entitledBut I'd be putting myself in danger, and it wouldn't be fun (men are more likely to be satisfied by casual encounters I understand the fear as a victim myself, but I don't really like when rape is framed as a risk of dating, because sexual predators don't need people to consensually date them. An acquaintance can force sex onto someone during a friendly meeting as much as a date. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/08/25 12:09 PM |
| 2 | MSNBC has the audacity to continue defending the Tea appRape trauma does not mainly come from fear of being seen as promiscuous. Children and men who get raped don't fear being slut-shamed, and are still traumatized. When people have supportive friends and families, they are still traumatized. The brain is shaped by experiences, and someone forcing themselves into your bodily orifices is an experience just as painful and dangerous as any physical injury. It is a series of painful, unwanted physical sensations no matter what society says about sexuali… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/08/25 05:09 PM |
| 2 | MSNBC has the audacity to continue defending the Tea appbe it social, legal, or occupational---is usually much worse than the purely emotional damage caused by victimhood of the crime itself. I don't like the Tea app but rape is far more than hurt feelings. It's a violent crime that injures the victim's brain. Trauma is devastating given the physical symptoms of mental illness. Mental illnesses themselves are a day to day struggle that goes far beyond emotional pain. There is also the fallout rape can have on jobs and families. That can amount to eno… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/08/25 01:37 PM |
| 6 | What is this sub's opinion on gender segregation in general?Even segregation in DV spaces is a bit awful to me. The idea that men and women can have their own shelters sounds nice, but A. We don't treat any other crime or medical issue like that. We don't have male/female hospitals or male/female police stations. B. Due to double standards, a male-only space will be stigmatized while a woman-only space isn't. C. Less men suffer DV or report it. Programs need a critical mass of patrons to be seen as worth running, which puts male-only spaces at greater ri… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 06/08/25 01:22 PM |
| 1 | Looking through the wrong lense: Which issues do men and women get wrong because they assume the other sex thinks like them?Female false assumption: Erection always means that he is sexually aroused. I'm surprised that this is a misconception. I would have thought that even something as basic as "morning wood" would carry over to women's understanding of men, or I guess some people never make the connection that if you can get it while sleeping, it's mostly a physical thing and not a mental thing. Or, interestingly enough, would it be a case of women projecting their sexual response onto men? I.e. if a woman needs to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 11:25 PM |
| 3 | Looking through the wrong lense: Which issues do men and women get wrong because they assume the other sex thinks like them?I feel like the idea that men are "emasculated" by being approach by women, or don't want a woman to be "easy" to be either outdated or not as universal as some women think. A lot of men would be overjoyed or at least interested in being unambiguously approached by a woman. Of course this runs into the "...if she's attractive." qualifier, but that's a different discussion. If a man gets upset at being approached, it's probably because he thinks it's the start of a scam, a distraction for a crime… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/08/25 11:18 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: why did this "office worker" get more votes than Sydney Sweeney? 77% to 23%"Office lady" is an established fetish, and people love uniforms. It's a classy kind of attractive. Sweeney is hot but looks generic. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/08/25 03:50 PM |
| 14 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.You can see my other comment about how a lot of "alternatives" to traditional masculinity and right-wing dating advice is just the same thing but with more liberal phrasing. It depresses me that a lot of left-wing dating advice isn't actually an alternative, but The Red Pill with a therapy-speak and mental health candy coating. It really upsets me that the same gender roles are being pushed, just with more deceptive marketing. Ex: A traditional man works hard to be the breadwinner of his househo… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/08/25 12:05 AM |
| 11 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.Technically the difference is in "sufficient" versus "necessary" conditions. Being a good person is argued to be necessary, but not sufficient, for a dating, the way that cheese is necessary but not sufficient for a cheeseburger. In this logic being a bad person alone disqualifies you, because being good is necessary, but good people can't date either because goodness is insufficient to get dates. You need to be good AND something more. A cheeseburger is cheese AND a bun AND a patty. Of course, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 05:13 PM |
| 10 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.If you treat a women just the same as you would your male friends she will see you as a friend. Then if it turns out you were trying to get something physical or romantic out of the relationship she will feel deceived and betrayed. The article truly lost me at the point where he went on about the value of friendships, as if A. friendship can fulfil sexual desires and B. lonely men don't already have friends. There's also the assumption that friendships are necessarily an improvement in someone's… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 04:56 PM |
| 16 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.This is kind of what I said. People have this stereotype of the lonely man as generally awful people with terrible social skills, or who have good social skills but treat women worse, but there's two prongs of the real problem. Flirting and sexuality requires a different kind of social skills than everyday social interaction. To arouse someone, you can't talk to them like a family member, coworker, or casual friend. A lot of lonely men do just fine in a workplace environment or family gathering.… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 04:53 PM |
| 26 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes."Dating isn't about witty openers and pickup lines! Stop overthinking how to talk to women and just talk like a human being!" *beat* "You can't just initiate conversation by asking someone how they're doing? Now, a good opening message has the following characteristics..." I think this was on another sub but someone pointed out how stuff like "Hello there." or "Hey, how are you?" is 100% acceptable in everyday conversation, yet somehow this cardinal sin in online interaction. Online dating deman… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 04:42 PM |
| 41 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.the same gendered expectations of competence, utility, and financial assets. This is what makes it so painful. Even on the rare opportunities the left-wing does try to promote some alternative to right-wing concepts of masculinity or sexuality, it's just those same things in liberalized language. It's this weird mix of bad faith, combined with almost not even understanding what they're criticizing. "Conservatives say the color is purple, but what's really going on is that we have a combination o… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 04:31 PM |
| 46 | I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.don't they have to be matched first to send messages due to the way the app works? Most male users get few matches. If someone is able to send lots of sexually aggressive messages, doesn't it mean they get a lot more matches than average This is something I've never understood either, even with regular matches. I can understand why women get flooded with likes since some men swipe for any hope of a match, but that's just it. With limited exceptions you can't message people until you match, so I … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 02/08/25 06:06 AM |
| 5 | Why are you in this sub ? And what make you stay there ?For me it's a few things: * Men's dating struggles are a taboo topic, and this is one of the few big places where it can be discussed. * An almost perfectly balanced and active debate sub. Every other post has 200 comments and 0 upvotes. * High engagement overall. It's better for a post to have 200 comments than 2. * Occasional good takes or personal anecdotes, or ragebait to fall for/feel above for not engaging with. * Helps me feel not alone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/08/25 10:39 PM |
| 1 | A lot of women's ideals and opinions are contradictory and don't make sense.Did you ever remember your dad taking the whole family out for dinner. That's in an ongoing marriage where the "provider" role is established, and the wife has already had the kids, and may do more housework than him. OP is talking about first dates. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/07/25 07:25 PM |
| 5 | How can men learn/evolve to enjoy their single life like women and not be needy of long term relationships? How can single men live like single women?But isn't sexual love a form of love? I want someone to express sexual attraction by having sex with me. I'm not looking for the raw act itself. Compliments from friends and family are empty since they'll never (and shouldn't) charge that point home. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 09:26 PM |
| 5 | How can men learn/evolve to enjoy their single life like women and not be needy of long term relationships? How can single men live like single women?I understand that it might not be the best thing in life ever, but the obsession comes from outside as well as inside. As an extended metaphor, imagine if there was an entire "omelet making" genre of fiction, and even non-omelet genres often have an omelet making subplot. If you're into harder stuff, videos, pictures, and drawings of people making omelets are one of the most enduring and addictive forms of entertainment across history and culture. In real life, entire civil rights movements are … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 06:04 PM |
| 3 | How can men learn/evolve to enjoy their single life like women and not be needy of long term relationships? How can single men live like single women?But that's like taking Vitamin A to make up for a Vitamin D deficiency. Sex is an irreplaceable biological urge. Sexual companionship is unlike anything else in life. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 05:08 PM |
| 15 | How can men learn/evolve to enjoy their single life like women and not be needy of long term relationships? How can single men live like single women?This isn't what men mean by being "single". The spirit of the question is "How are men expected to be happy without sex?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 04:49 PM |
| 6 | How can men learn/evolve to enjoy their single life like women and not be needy of long term relationships? How can single men live like single women?Re/built relationships with family, friends, neighbors, and acquaintances. But how does this address sexuality? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 04:34 PM |
| 16 | What can a man expect for paying for a date?But both people (should) get time and attention regardless of who pays. What is the man getting that the woman isn't? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 03:30 PM |
| 2 | Lower your standards- or stay single?Every time I've lowered my standards something bad has happened, so no. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/07/25 03:28 PM |
| 2 | False Accusation Early Warning Checklist (Awareness)For what it's worth I scored myself (male victim) scored a 5-7 depending on what "significant medical history" entails, putting me in the Equivocal Range of 0-15. My overall takeaway from the checklist is that false accusers try too hard to be like the Perfect Victim(TM), but I'm a bit confused on how something like that (i.e. masked, gloved stranger with a copy-and-paste note) would be traced back to an innocent person. One thing we need to keep in mind is that not every "false accuser" would b… | /r/MensRights | 28/07/25 11:08 PM |
| 1 | Are modern rape laws designed to punish high-status men and outlaw honest women?What "regret = consent" law are you referring to? Is this a legal standard outside the United States? The "convert is reversible" idea is that consent can be revoked during sex, after which sex must stop or else it's rape. It's not literally the idea that consensual sex can become rape after completion if someone decided they don't like it. | /r/MensRights | 28/07/25 10:57 PM |
| 1 | Responding to Uber's violations of men's rightsI guess it would also have the unintended consequence of making POC face more racism, since you now have to filter through racists who would have simply not seen you at all. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 28/07/25 05:11 AM |
| 24 | “It's often women, not men, who initiate. The natural order for mating is for women to solicit male approaches when they are ready.”This study seems suspicious to me. Don't women get tons of unsolicited approaches? I suspect confounding variables may be at play i.e. do women who solicit approaches also go out more single, put more effort into their appearance, etc. Besie | /r/PurplePillDebate | 27/07/25 11:48 PM |
| 2 | Why are the good men so opposed to marriage recently?Pregnancy and parenthood feels redundant, no? My guess is that "parenthood" is about co-raising the child, rather than just getting the woman pregnant and leaving it to her. "Parenthood" also has no sexual connotation, whereas some men would be fine with pregnancy as long as they got to have sex. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/25 03:01 PM |
| 11 | Why are the good men so opposed to marriage recently?From my perspective, a long term relationship, especially marriage, is too risky when I have almost no sexual or romantic experience. Imagine you have never owned a car or eaten a food in your life. You have no frame of reference for what you actually like in practice. Now imagine that people are looking for a lifetime customer only, to the point where you couldn't eat or drive anything else. No free samples, no test drives. No 1-month subscriptions. Exclusive lifetime or absolutely nothing. I r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/25 02:00 PM |
| -1 | In your personal opinion, what is one thing either gender does so often, that it completely discredits the "men/woman are not a monilith" statement?My first and only girlfriend was very hesitant and nervous, but technically yes, she would ask for things. We never actually had sex and she wouldn't lead in the male-fantasy way, but she would ask first for some things. More generically, I grew up around female relatives who didn't wear makeup, or classmates and coworkers who didn't arrive wearing it. There is a stereotype that all women are supremely invested in their appearance but I think it's very much a case of the most invested people not… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/07/25 02:17 AM |
| 6 | There is definitely a male equivalent to the "I'm a independent woman, I don't need a man" attitude.I don't know if it counts, but sometimes I see male dating advice that says stuff like "Be invested in the process, not the outcome", or how to develop "inner game". It's basically like a mirror version of "Be happy single." or "Stop chasing women.", but with a twist. It seems to me like the advice is to do the same behaviors you'd do to get a girlfriend, but stop being unhappy you don't have one, or don't feel like a failure if you try to attract someone and fail. It's not so much "I don't need… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/07/25 09:34 PM |
| 1 | Should women be “giving guys a chance”?My interpretation of "giving a chance" is "understand that your standards may have a margin of error." As a practical example, my first and only girlfriend was not visually appealing to me, but there was still some passion. She also had an amazing taste in TV shows that I wouldn't have been able to share without dating her. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/07/25 09:19 PM |
| 0 | Explain so many involuntarily single men at a roughly 50/50 gender ratioI can see an absolute greater number of guys, but shouldn't the ratio of peer-level matches be the same? All guys go for hot women but non-hot guys have a lower chancs. I.e. If a speed dating event has 5 20-something women, 5 20-something men, then 10 40-year olds, I still think the effective level of competition among the younger men is the same. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 09:49 PM |
| – | What are the signs a woman is only into a guy for his looks?I wonder what it feels like on the man's end. On one hand, "someone who wants me just because I'm attractive" sounds like an ultimate male fantasy, but if he's truly just an accessory she doesn't even like talking to it could get bored fast, and it is a committed relationship rather than a simple "I'm hot you're hot" understanding. It very much sounds like a "The first month is the best of your life, then it's crushing forever after." kind of deal, like a lottery winner buying a mansion and beco… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/07/25 02:24 AM |
| – | What are the signs a woman is only into a guy for his looks?This makes a hilarious image for me, like a silent 9/10 just being strapped into a tandem skydiving harness, emotionless as his perfect hair whips in the wind and she's having the time of her life. Or she has him at a 5 star restaurant and she is posing him with the food without him talking or eating anything. It'd be like a woman treating a real boyfriend like a hardcore fan going on a public "date" with an anime body pillow or standee. https://www.cbr.com/rent-a-girlfriend-chizuru-otaku-real-l… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/25 09:57 PM |
| 1 | What are the signs a woman is only into a guy for his looks?you're doing some kind of highly engaging activity together. Is this a euphemism for sex or do you literally mean things like taking a hot guy out for rock climbing or skydiving too? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/07/25 01:20 PM |
| 1 | Q4Men: Would you be comfortable if your wife went to the female version of Hooters if she insisted that she was just there for the wings and not the men? Would you go with her for the wings?Two answers. Serious answer: I'm have a definition of cheating that is not really bothered by transactional stuff. I'm the free version of Male(TM), so anything she paid for or exchanged in some way is not what she could get if she didn't have me. I fully accept that I'm not the most attractive man in the world, if I'm one of the best she can get for free. She can enjoy her 25 year old 6 foot 6 pack since he wouldn't be talking with her if not tipped. There's a reason why I have her and not him.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/07/25 01:30 AM |
| 16 | How much interest and attention do you think the average woman receives?TL;DR for the numbers Average/Below average woman: Rare warm or cold approaches by men, 5-10 likes/matches a day if she is active on apps. Above average/everyday ideal i.e. 20-something, healthy weight, but otherwise a "normal person": warm or cold approach maybe a couple times a month. Dozens/100+ likes and matches a day if active. Beauty standard ideal i.e. model skinny, professional-level hair, clothes, and makeup. Viscerally hot, literal head turner in public. Warm and cold approaches happen… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/07/25 02:57 AM |
| -1 | Women should approach moreon top of that, a big issue for women who approach is that a lot of guys will go along with it even if they aren't all that into them, because it's an opportunity to get laid that they don't have to work very hard for. I've heard this, but isn't this just the reverse of "Taking initiative is attractive?" but with the genders reversed? Some people have a "I don't want someone who doesn't approach." mentality, which I understand from an attractiveness standpoint but not as a strategy to weed out p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/07/25 11:12 PM |
| 8 | Reducing lonely men to political stereotypes is dehumanizing and dangerousI understand that politics is a dealbreaker for many, but it's not a dealbreaker for everyone. It is annoying when people act as though an entire half of the country isn't conservative, with millions of couples among them. Conservative women exist and not every liberal needs their partner to agree on everything. So many reasons for men to be lonely come into play regardless of ideology. Being left-wing won't magically make the post-college dating scene have tons of single women your age, for exa… | /r/MensRights | 18/07/25 04:37 AM |
| 21 | Is it just me or Male Sexuality is hated while female sexuality is praised ?I tried to make a "Support Wanted" post in a dating subreddit, talking about how as a straight man I would love to have consensual, mutually enjoyable sex, and how it feels so wrong and taboo to just say "I want sex.", even if there's nothing wrong with it and everyone wins. I was told by one commenter that I'm not owed women and should stop seeing them as toys. It's like they literally didn't even read the post, and it got removed. | /r/MensRights | 18/07/25 04:25 AM |
| 14 | Are young men failing at dating because they aren't dedicating enough time and effort to it?I'll admit I get frustrated someone easily in dating, but it's as someone who never gets off the launch pad no matter how hard or much I swing. I thought it was the fact that I was a student. I graduated, started my career, no dates. I used my adult money to buy premium subscriptions. No dates. I lost weight, no dates. I thought it was my photos, so I spent almost $1,000 on professional ones. No dates. "Tinder is garbage! Go to >other app<." I tried other apps, several of which I also paid for, … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 16/07/25 05:23 PM |
| 2 | Unless in the context of an LTR, “Physical intimacy” is a word horny people use to pretend they’re romantic.That's why I wish there was a dedicated word to describe sex with reference to desire. "Sexual validation sex" is the most blunt and direct way I can think of, but "intimacy" feels nicer to say since it also avoids the shaming of wanting sexual validation. "Penetration" is too much about the act itself, and feels far too crude, but "intimacy" comes in different forms like you said. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/25 10:37 PM |
| 5 | Unless in the context of an LTR, “Physical intimacy” is a word horny people use to pretend they’re romantic.I do agree a lot of men probably use it as a euphemism, but I use the word intimacy because I feel like it avoids the "Buy an adult toy." or "Go see a sex worker." suggestions. Even if some men just want sex, I think there's a difference to be made between "I just need physical release." and "I want mutually enjoyable sex with someone that I am attracted to and who is attracted to me." Men want sex but a lot of us want to feel like a winner or a prize. Maybe the English language has a better wor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/07/25 10:01 PM |
| 1 | The Just World Fallacy is one of society's biggest barriers to Dating for MenYou're also forgetting that college is the ultimate warm approach. It's not even about plausible deniability. When you sit in the same class as 10-20 people of the opposite sex, that's still 10-20 potential friends or girlfriends per class. Colleges also have easy party scenes. The frat house or bar is just down the block, but adulthood just isn't like that. If these people have only 2 friends each, that's around 30-60 people within two degrees of separation, per class. That's 120-300 women per … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 06:00 PM |
| 4 | Why are you having trouble dating, in your earnest estimation?The entire environment of dating apps only works if you assume its ok for men to put in extreme amounts of effort just to be worthy of the kind of conversations you usually get for free by virtue of organic human conversation. I know "OLD is crap" is an absolute zero degrees cold take, but when you put it like that it truly drives home. Good photo, good bio, witty opener, cool hobbies, great job, etc...just to get completely ignored. Even a cold approach in real life at least gets a "Sorry I'm b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 05:08 PM |
| 22 | Why are you having trouble dating, in your earnest estimation?What part of that expectation feels heavy or disheartening? Several reasons. There doesn't seem to be a "safe" place in society to practice initiative or where it's genuinely welcome, or where failure doesn't feel like a moral failing as well. It very much feels like a "If she says no, then I bothered her and made her day worse." rather than simply "She didn't like me." Many men like myself are aware that women need to feel safe and comfortable to be sexy, but the well is so thoroughly poisoned … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/07/25 02:43 AM |
| 1 | How did you get into Men's Rights?The refusal of law enforcement to prosecute my rape case, specifically because "but we're dealing with men here". Growing up I had a progressive worldview and still do, but all those high-level "X Demographic get Y less of something good than Z Demographic" studies and articles ignore how local politics and oppression can be. No matter how many Fortune 500 Company CEOs are men or women, any manager can mistreat any employee, regardless of gender. No matter how many judges, senators, or police ar… | /r/MensRights | 13/07/25 06:39 PM |
| 3 | "Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them"Also, men are afraid of other men. Marginalized men are afraid of privileged men. Law abiding men are afraid of law breaking men. Etc. | /r/MensRights | 13/07/25 06:30 PM |
| 5 | Can we please stop doing the "When you are privileged, equality feels like oppression" feminist tactic? I see it ALL THE TIME in both feminist pages and here and it equally makes me cringe. If we want to have better reputation we need to stop doing the exact thing which gives feminism bad reputationThe biggest flaw in this argument is that a lot of modern men never benefitted or participated in that historical privilege. Sure, educational opportunities for women were historically limited, but Title IX was passed in 1972. 2-3 entire generations of college men have gone to college with that in place, let alone benefitted from a pre-IX world, let alone contributed to that historical oppression. | /r/MensRights | 13/07/25 06:29 PM |
| 1 | Men can be kink shamed and content sellers are protected class on here.One of my favorite double standards regarding SW is this idea of "emotional labor". If you're a man and want to open up for support from your actual wife or girlfriend, that's emotional labor. When men are struggling with sex and romance, we're often told to "Just go see a sex worker.", but when we point out it's a transactions it's like "Well some of them care about their clients!" So, the actual loving relationship is supposed to be cold for fear of a loved one having to care about us, but hur… | /r/MensRights | 13/07/25 06:24 PM |
| 0 | Can anyone think of a common, non-feminist occurrence of the apex fallacy?Cancel culture. "You can't say anything anymore because progressives will ruin you job." We live on a golden age of free speech where random YouTubers can have a larger following than some local politicians. Moderation policies can suck but you have access to a buffet of platforms that simply didn't exist 10-20-30 years ago at all. Millions of people say "politically incorrect" things every single day but don't get their lives ruined (if even that happens) because they don't have the lottery-odd… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/07/25 06:42 PM |
| 15 | How can women possibly be suffering that badly?On a tangent women beauty standards are by other women most of the time. I feel this. Most men are fine with "literally just not obese" i.e. even overweight is acceptable or even preferable depending on the man. As for makeup, sure, a lot of men don't know what "no makeup" looks like but I grew up in a household without makeup and I've had friends and coworkers who only applied makeup after getting to work or school. Makeup can be incredible but most women don't look that radically different wit… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/07/25 05:41 PM |
| 7 | How can women possibly be suffering that badly?Also, most of the men who commit attacks against women are not lonely, shy, virgin, "incels". They're much more likely to be popular "Chads". This is what gets to me. People talk of "incel ideology" related terrorism when some of those attacks don't even take place in the United States (Toronto van attack), and some of them are literally history (Elliot Roger was in 2014). On the other hand, go into a courthouse on a random day to watch the arraignment/bond hearings and you'll see a parade of do… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/07/25 05:29 PM |
| 20 | What's Worse About Misandry/Misandrists?There's also a subtle double standard in dating complaints where women's issues with men they are already dating are projected onto men who don't get dates. Like yes, if your cohabiting boyfriend doesn't do the dishes that's bad, but "Men need to step up in household chores." doesn't help someone who can't get a single dinner date. It's relationship advice, not dating advice. "Stop dumping all your emotional problems onto your girlfriend." is irrelevant to someone who doesn't have a girlfriend. … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/07/25 04:47 PM |
| 8 | What's Worse About Misandry/Misandrists?Men are expected to put up with overt bigotry against them as a moral virtue. Good men are held to accept and validate paranoia, anxiety, exclusion, and distrust against all men. Standing up for yourself as an individual is seen as a lack of empathy towards women. "Don't compare entire groups of humans as predatory/pest animals just for who they are." is Decent Person 101, yet so many people came out defending the Man vs. Bear thing with a sneering "If this offends you you're the reason why it's… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 11/07/25 04:29 PM |
| 2 | How often does the average man get 'approached'... In their lifetime?Once, when one of my female college friends complimented my beard and I took that as the chance to ask her out. Even still, this had a lot of qualifying factors. This was after years of knowing each other, us dating had already been suggested by a mutual friend, and during the lockdown era of the pandemic when even "normal" people were desperate for connection, let alone us (both her and I were totally inexperienced). | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/25 02:22 PM |
| 12 | Women do not refuse the red pill arguments, they detest the label and who is declaring themMaybe not RP specifically, but I think a lot of "terminally online" dating phrases and concepts are just more direct or indirect ways of saying the same things. AF/BB is an extremely crude way to say "People want different things at different stages in their lives. Young people like exciting partners, then they prefer stability later on in life. Calling it "social status" or "preselection" is going to be offputting, but is basically a very evopsych way to say "Have a large social circle and have… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/07/25 01:09 PM |
| – | What amount of women u find attractive in your daily lives?I would have to say 10% of the general public, but I would say maybe 30-40% when looking in my preferred age range. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/07/25 03:24 AM |
| 22 | I can't believe the dishonesty of this post.Can disappear and not be found until courts track him down for child support There's also this weird implication that being a fugitive from the government and owing someone large amounts of money is some kind of privileged lifestyle. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/07/25 05:24 PM |
| 2 | Can a man ever become as attractive to women as women are in the eyes of men?That man often needs charisma, shown strength, and often be conventionally handsome, and socially adept, etc. A woman often doesn't; looks alone will often do it. Saw a great joke on Twitter/X: "They were perfect for each other. He was strong, brave, intelligent, heroic, honorable, funny, and empathetic, and she was pretty." That's definitely what it feels like sometimes. I understand that easier attraction comes easier predatory attraction too, but I am definitely jealous of the way that a lot … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 09:40 PM |
| 0 | Telling men to have more friendships with woman is misleading because women treat friendships and dating the sameIf I can resolve some of your bafflement, I think it's because there's a spiral of action-reaction from different costs and strategies. I think the steps are like this: For whatever cultural or biological reasons you prefer, women don't want casual sex as much as men, don't enjoy it as much as men do, and and even those that want it may not want to be as direct and open as men who do. Thus, they emphasize friendship and relationships. As a result, the overwhelming majority of men can't get casua… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 07:10 PM |
| 0 | Telling men to have more friendships with woman is misleading because women treat friendships and dating the sameWhat's the biggest culture shock for you? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 06:17 PM |
| – | I am not surprised that a lot of people on here struggle with datingI'm sure most of us are okay 90% of the time. It's just that people come to places like this to debate the one part of life not going well, and are most motivated to post when most passionate/upset about something. Think of it like the famous 80/20 idea. 80% of a person's posts or comments will be about their 20% lowest points in life, their top 20% hottest/controversial opinions, and so on. I also think modern dating has a lot of structural issues that aren't individuals' fault. There's so much… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/07/25 02:48 AM |
| 5 | There's something about consent that most people not talking about.Witness testimony is evidence sufficient enough to convict people of crimes. It all comes down to who the judge or jury believes. This is how almost all crimes work, not just rape. Even "real" evidence has to be collected and tested by people who swear that they did it right. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/07/25 04:09 PM |
| 5 | The majority of people aren't as bitter and awful as people here like to make them out to beAnother thing to consider is that commenters in online discussions are a tiny fraction of forum members, and posters even less. I.e. think of a YouTube video with 1M views but only thousands of comments. People who contribute to a forum of any topic, almost by definition, will be the single-digit top percent of people who are emotionally invested. It's why people can get a "1% contributor" award shockingly quick. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/07/25 02:15 PM |
| 3 | Q4M: How would you feel if women acted like "fukgirls"?Do these kind of people always pretend to want a serious relationship, or is it possible to "call their bluff" and say "Look, I just want some fun too?" All things being equal I'd want a serious, long term relationship with someone who deeply loves me, but I wouldn't turn down someone whose attitude towards me is "Look, I have a new person every month, but it'll be a pretty fun few weeks for both of us." I think the harm these kinds of people cause comes from lying and not admitting they just wa… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 01/07/25 05:22 PM |
| 7 | How short sighted could they be?I once tried to look up what emotional labor was supposed to be and the list was all over the place, including "basic adult life stuff" like planning grocery trips or remembering birthdays. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/06/25 12:33 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: If you only got 80% of your ideal traits in a mate... You would view that as settling, right?"80% of ideal" could mean they fit all requirements but not all preferences. So no, it's not settling. Settling isn't winning bronze or silver going for gold. It's not finishing a marathon but failing to beat your record. It's having to compromise in areas you shouldn't feel like you have to i.e. your requirements. Settling is being injured halfway through the race and saying "I tried." It's not being able to finish but convince yourself you ran a good half-marathon. It's requiring a nonsmoker w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/25 11:57 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Do you have days in which you don’t think about attractive women, relationships or sex at all?Even as a fairly desperate guy there are days when it doesn't cross my mind, but it does follow me around and most days I do. zerk it A fine euphemism to add to my collection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/06/25 11:50 PM |
| 27 | "Secure" men"A secure man is always working on improving himself and doesn't blame other people for his faults." = "Man up. Your problems are your fault. Keep your negative emotions to yourself." "A secure man doesn't get upset at rejection, and knows its not important." = "A real man is stoic and unaffected." "A secure man doesn't trauma dump or force others to do his emotional labor." = "A real man stays silent and doesn't open up to his family or friends." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/06/25 06:46 PM |
| 15 | The "dirty old man" stereotypeI find it interesting since it seems like "dirty old man" is basically just an ageist twist on the same general idea that men are sexless, ugly, and a danger to women and children. It's basically the Boomer equivalent of "incel". | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/06/25 03:09 PM |
| 6 | If women ran the world, there would be no wars. A comforting myth or a subtle essentialist trap?Just as an single example, Queen Victoria waged the Anglo-Zulu War. If you imagine colonialism as white men in rifles gunning down spear-wielding natives, that's what she did. As a more general example, female politicians have been found to be just as if not more hawkish than men. Authors of the book Why Leaders Fight analyzed every world leader from 1875 to 2004 and statistically examined gender differences in military aggression. They found that 36% of the female leaders initiated at least one… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/06/25 02:59 PM |
| 1 | What are your thoughts on those in the sex industry/OF models? (All welcome and encouraged to contribute)I see it like drinking or drugs: in theory it's something that could be part of a moral, healthy lifestyle but far too often isn't in practice, and is related to so much suffering in the world (i.e. violent crime), that if by magic it disappeared the world would inarguably be a better place. I cannot imagine being transported to a world with no concept of porn acting or prostitution and be sad for it not existing. "Make humans unable to get drunk or high." is easily a Top 10 wish to make the wor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/25 09:30 PM |
| 7 | How do you feel when men on here treat your sexual autonomy and freedom of choice like an annoying barrier to what they feel entitled to?that women are human beings with their own individual preferences But that's the thing. For all the supposed variation there are men who consistently fail, therefore there has to be some trends. Stereotyping is wrong, but people get frustrated when trying to understand other people on anything other than an individual level seems taboo. It's not like if we plotted out everyone's preferences the "line of best fit" would be perfectly straight. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/06/25 01:00 PM |
| 8 | The Most Important Key for Men's Happiness is to Not Let Their Sexual Desire Expose Them to Manipulative and Scournful WomenLess than 1% of American women are Only Fans creators OF scammers and social media grifters overrun online dating, which is where a lot of us are struggling. I've gotten 5 matches this year asking me for some kind of transaction, though only 2-3 were explicitly about OF. I don't think OF affects women as a whole (i.e. no "downstream effects"), but it's hard to avoid as a single man. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/25 09:11 PM |
| 2 | Men with real problems need to stop looking to grifters and women to solve themPart of the desire for sex is someone else who wants to have sex with you. It's a fantasy of carefree passion and consent, not paid service. It's like if a woman complained about nobody helping her around the house and being told to just hire a maid. "Living with" someone entails respect and values beyond the acts themselves, just like "sex with" someone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/06/25 04:23 PM |
| 8 | Men with real problems need to stop looking to grifters and women to solve themI don't think people lose value by having sex, and nobody is entitled to it. It's just that people want and need to interact with others, and for adults that will sometimes include sex. People who get to have sex clearly don't give it up in spite of the problems it can cause, so I don't think asking people to be happy without it is a viable option. If we all understand that a married couple gets into rocky territory when their sex life dries up, then I don't see why a single person with no roman… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/25 12:15 PM |
| 9 | Men with real problems need to stop looking to grifters and women to solve themand finding validation within yourself, not from others. And yes, it's about therapy. What do we do about the male sex drive, though? Internal validation is important but humans are social creatures with external validation needs as well. Feeling awesome about yourself is not a replacement for intimacy with another person. We know this because voluntary celibacy is seen as an insulting solution to the problems of people who have sex when this should theoretically be an easy life choice. Married … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/06/25 11:59 AM |
| 32 | The Amazing Atheist makes a disingenuous video about the male loneliness epidemic."Everyone says purple, but what's really going on is that we have a combination of red and blue." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 23/06/25 02:00 PM |
| 2 | How does it feel like to be hit on/approached by a creepy guy?I already am in therapy, but part of the problem is that the assault was like a starving person being force-fed food. It's awful that my first and only real sexual experience was being victimized, but for me force-fed food was still ultimately food. Your assaulter wasn't attracted to you, he was attracted to what he could use you for. A hole, a mouth, a hand, a muscle; you had nothing to do with it. For me that's precisely why I have such mixed feelings. The context here is that all my life I've… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/25 08:50 PM |
| -2 | How does it feel like to be hit on/approached by a creepy guy?Being hit on by a creepy guy was amazing since I'd never had someone enthusiastically attracted to me before. He assaulted me on the end to get what he wanted, but it doesn't mean that feeling wanted wasn't hot before that happened and even somewhat during. Predatory sexual attraction is still genuine sexual attraction. If victims can be aroused during their assaults then certainly the perpetrator can be too. EDIT: I am already going to therapy. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/06/25 06:51 PM |
| 2 | Why do you think women are less attracted to men than men are to women ?Some call this spontaneous desire vs responsive desire. I've always felt that the "responsive desire" thing was a case of people all agreeing on the substance if you market it differently. "It's not that women have a lower sex drive. It's that women are driven less to sex." It felt like one of those "It's not purple. It's a combination of red and blue." things where someone basically agrees with a generalization ("Women have lower sex drives.") but just needs to re-explain it in their own words … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/06/25 02:16 AM |
| 1 | Why do you think women are less attracted to men than men are to women ?Like I said, the trick is that people pairing off reduces the pool, but not the overhang, thus increasing the ratio. 10-9 becomes 9-8 becomes 8-7 becomes 7-6 and so on until you reach 2-1. There's always just one person more, but subtract 1 from each side and the overhang makes up a larger portion of the people left. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/25 11:54 PM |
| 15 | Why do you think women are less attracted to men than men are to women ?I think it's multilayered. On the first layer we have evolutionary psychology. Women face more risks from pregnancy and sex than men, and reproduce far slower (i.e. one pregnancy a year versus potentially impregnating someone every new day). I don't normally like evopsych but it makes perfect sense to hypothesize this will result in a "chooser / chaser" dynamic where one party is far more reluctant to wait until a mate has either invested enough resources for a long-term relationship, or been so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/06/25 02:10 PM |
| 3 | Debunking the myth that there's no systemic discrimination against menAs a male rape victim I tried to join a support group, but I couldn't because they were gender-segregated, and not enough men joined the male support group to run it. To be fair I did get a one on one session with the counselor who would have run the group, but this was a consolation. I already have my one on one therapists, but what I wanted was the chance to share my experiences with people who had gone through the same thing. It really irritates me how "Men can get raped too." or "People of a… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/06/25 05:47 PM |
| 4 | The Guardian coins "mankeeping" term, where women face the horror of having to listen to and emotionally support their partnersThis is a classic case of "Men face this issue, Women most affected!" I almost thought it was an exaggeration until I actually read it. Men are struggling and reaching out for others to help, but that's bad because a man's girlfriend or female friend might have to emotionally support him like *reads notes* any friend or significant other would be expected to do, regardless of gender. | /r/MensRights | 19/06/25 02:31 PM |
| 7 | The Guardian coins "mankeeping" term, where women face the horror of having to listen to and emotionally support their partnersI read it and it was even worse than I thought Where do men who struggle with deep same-gender bonds turn to fulfill their needs for intimacy and support? According to Ferrara, many men turn to women, including girlfriends and female friends Boyfriends and girlfriends should emotionally support each other. Both sexes, both ways, because empathy is something we all need. I get that it's wrong to trauma dump onto strangers or mere acquaintances, but I can't believe we live in this sociopathic worl… | /r/MensRights | 19/06/25 02:29 PM |
| 8 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itYou're thinking of the term "social contract." When an employer sends someone for retraining and promises them a promotion when they come back, that's a contract. When society tells children "Get good grades and stay out of trouble, and you'll deserve a good job.", that's a social contract. For years, the "social contract" for male sexuality was "Be a protector and provider, and you'll deserve a wife." Now, there's no path forward for men who want romance. Men have no idea what to do, and no ide… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/06/25 01:44 PM |
| 10 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address it"stop being upset and betrayed, you're not entitled to a job." The excellent article Radicalizing the Romanceless had a satirical passage that hit on this exact metaphor. For broader context, the article is basically about how the term "Nice Guy" got overused and weaponized to mock lonely men, who are right to ask why genuinely awful people get sex, romance, and marriage but genuinely nice guys don't. You keep whining about how “unfair” it is that you can’t get a good job. “But I’m such a hard w… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/06/25 11:00 PM |
| 3 | My story of bitterness, chainsaws, and the politics of being heardI feel this with my parents sometimes. They can get into this paradox where "You can talk to us about anything." but get annoyed at certain topics. Lynx Africa in lads changing room at school Do they have Axe Body Spray over there? That's the stereotypical "overused young men's fragrance/cologne" in US culture. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/06/25 06:32 PM |
| 2 | "If you feel attacked, you're the problem!"they ironically don’t realize that their own ideals actually make them very dangerous to men/POC men. I remember one reaction to the man vs. bear debate being that if a bear hurt a human they'd shoot it but if a man rapes a woman he can be found not guilty. If they knew anything about the history of POC men being demonized as sexual predators and having the police and legal system abused against them, they'd realize fantasizing about instant retaliatory death rather than due process is a bit...p… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 18/06/25 06:14 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: do guys want women to be obsessed with them?In fantasy, sure, especially since straight men will rarely be in danger of sexual obsession in real life. That's kind of the whole appeal of the yandere in anime and manga: a character who is romantically obsessed with someone else, often to a criminal or violent extreme. To a man who has never been desired or feels like he always has to put in enormous amounts of effort, it sounds like a fun escapist fantasy to have a woman obsessed with you for almost no reason. To a man who feels that he has… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/06/25 04:43 PM |
| 26 | A list of some things feminists seem to not understand due to having female privilegeFemale privilege is having your sexuality taken seriously as a part of your identity and mental health. A mainstream publication can unironically see the "orgasm gap" as a social justice issue for women and compare it to the gender wage gap. Use economic metaphors to describe dating and how a lack of sex can hurt men's sense of worth, and you're just a hateful bigot who expects women to fix all his problems. It's bigoted to say female rape victims are damaged goods unworthy of being dated, but m… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/06/25 01:35 PM |
| 39 | A list of some things feminists seem to not understand due to having female privilegeFemale privilege is the free license to be creepy and predatory and violate the personal space of the opposite sex with so little fear of scrutiny or consequence that they honestly don't even realize they do it. I was at a family event and one of my older female relatives approached from behind, grabbed my shoulder and leaned in right by my face to start talking. As someone with PTSD this incredibly pissed me off so I asked her why she did this because it made me uncomfortable. She said it was j… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/06/25 01:17 PM |
| 51 | A list of some things feminists seem to not understand due to having female privilegeThe "assaulted at night" thing really gets to me too since it invokes the myth of stranger rape. In reality abusers and rapists are often people you know. It's not even mutually exclusive. Even someone is following you on the street could be a stalker who already knows you rather than a "random" person. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/06/25 01:13 PM |
| 19 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itThere was a great article by Scott Alexander called Radicalizing the Romanceless. I'm not a fan of everything he says even in that specific post, but the one thing he hammers home is the "Why don't girls like nice guys?" sentiment isn't said in the sense of "I'm a good person therefore I deserve sex." It's said in the sense of "Why do genuinely awful people get sex, but nice people struggle?" https://slatestarcodex.com/2014/08/31/radicalizing-the-romanceless/ | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 10:27 PM |
| 19 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itOne of the greatest victories of the gay rights' movement is literally the right to have sex, as Lawrence v. Texas overturned the "anti-sodomy" laws in place at the time. Those laws were bigoted and arbitrary, but like you say that's the rub: if we accept as a principle that someone's sexual identity is a core part of who you are, that should apply to everyone. Conversely, if it's so easy and happy to just be sexless, then "sexual repression" wouldn't have been worth fighting against. Why fight … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 06:22 PM |
| 22 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itExactly. Men who disrespect women's boundaries are more likely to ask out more women in socially inappropriate places, wear them down until they say yes, and so on. The very existence of abusive relationships shows abusive people get relationships. Intimate partner violence shows violent people get intimate partners. Date rape proves rapists get dates. It's a shy guy who doesn't want to bother someone that remains lonely. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 05:02 PM |
| 25 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itThis has always been the thing for me. Involuntary celibacy is mocked as a trivial non-issue but people take massive offense at the suggestion of voluntary celibacy. Single men are told that sex isn't a right, that it's not a need, that we should all go to therapy, get pets, make friends, be happy single and love ourselves. Sex is overrated, it's immature to chase women, you don't want it anyway. Etc. Except, don't you dare suggest that not having sex is the easiest and most reliable, safe, and … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 04:47 PM |
| 19 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itMy therapist literally said it was important for my "sexual needs" to be met and I felt so validated. People think that men wanting sex is some sort of coverup for some other emotional problem (i.e. that we somehow want a romantic partner to "trauma dump" on because "toxic masculinity" means we don't talk to our male friends about our emotions). In reality, it turns out that humans are a sexually reproducing, social species and therefore having sex and being sexually selected actually is importa… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 04:41 PM |
| 17 | LWMAs have two choices: leave men’s (sexual) loneliness to the likes of Andrew Tate or address itTherapy is also a 100% individualized, privatized form of healthcare that puts 100% responsibility (or even fault) on the patient and can't address systemic issues. Therapy can work for some, but it has severe practical and even ideological limitations. The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making progressives think the most conservative approach to healthcare of all time was a left wing idea. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 04:36 PM |
| 53 | The video was going so well until it got to 11:44.how the manosphere is this powerful force in society that influences and radicalized young boys. It's really annoying when people have this attitude that random YouTubers and podcasters are somehow corrupting young men. People act like Andrew Tate is some supervillain when he's banned from most platforms. Meanwhile, it was 100% mainstream to compare men to violent animals in the Man vs. Bear debate. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 14/06/25 04:17 PM |
| 5 | Q4M: By which date can a woman expect a gift from you?I would want both of us to be "the table" for each other. I want both of us to enjoy each other intrinsically by default. If I won't give gifts I don't expect them either. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/25 05:15 AM |
| 4 | Q4M: By which date can a woman expect a gift from you?They are not to be expected. I don't like that kind of thing in my relationships, and "gift-giving" is not my love language. I would like my presence alone to be enough, the same way I hope she would be for me. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/06/25 03:01 AM |
| 1 | You Can’t "Prove" the Red Pill And That’s Not a Flawwhich most women haven't even used, and even those who do use them are greatly outnumbered But it's representative of what women, who are using online dating, to men using online dating, are. Maybe not women as a whole, but the dating experience of a online man is determined by that subset of women. That's before we even get into arguing about spillover effects of online dating into the real world. Why are "clubs and dating apps" always the end-all be-all for universal "patterns" of human behavi… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 05:22 PM |
| – | Most women can only be with men who deny a part of themselves, and so male mental health is in conflict with heterosexuality.The suppression of female sexuality is THE major thing. Male sexuality is also heavily repressed. There's a real sense that wanting to have sex makes a man sexually undesirable, hence the genre of "just be friends first" or "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "women can smell desperation" advice. Men can "lead women on" or "use her for sex" but women are never said to have lead a man on pr used him for sex, because they don't have to. A woman who wants sex can literally just ask and get i… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/06/25 12:46 PM |
| 5 | I think there is something that needs to be said about how many men approach dating: the “be as appealing to as many women as possible” approachLike I said a couple days ago, the "niche" approach is good in theory but hasn't worked out in practice. In theory, it's the perfect combination of the emotionally-uplifting "just be yourself" and the cold rationality of market dynamics. On paper, you only need to find someone and therefore it's better to be a 9/10 to a few people and 1/10 to others than to be a 6/10 to everyone. In theory, out of 4 billion members of the opposite sex there should be at least one person who is looking for someon… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/06/25 12:08 AM |
| 2 | Do men need womenI still think the people in power can do things about dating, without repealing the Sexual Revolution or engaging in some dystopian revenge fantasy. My most basic political policy would be to force dating app companies to be transparent about their userbase data and trends, and how their algorithms work. We should know, for example, whether Tinder really "hides" profiles the way we know what ingredients are in a can of Coke. So much of the "gender wars" are built on scarce, outdated, or question… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/25 03:57 PM |
| 4 | "I'm overwhelmed by matches on dating apps" so stop swiping???Thanks for the empathy. I don't know what this term is called in economics, but dating apps are one of those things that seem predisposed to having a single dominant company over all others. When the consumers are part of the product, even something that's good in concept will simply fail because the current #1 just crowds it out. It's sort of like what Warcraft used to be to MMOs or what WH40K is to tabletop miniature gaming. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/25 03:27 PM |
| 4 | Do men need womenIt doesn't create a moral obligation for anyone to date anyone. We can acknowledge that humans are a social and sexual species with social and sexual needs without jumping to coercion. It's possible for needs to exist without a moral obligation to fulfill them. Someone can be starving but it may not be my fault for them starving or my responsibility to get them fed. I once remember a UN document that clarified the "right to food" is not a "right to be fed", for example. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/25 03:00 PM |
| 10 | "I'm overwhelmed by matches on dating apps" so stop swiping???I've tried the niche dating app route and found too few people. I swiped through Hiki (neurodivergent/disabled people) in under a single day despite living near a major city. Dating for men is a numbers game and it seems like you either succeed on Tinder or never at all. It's very much a "There's Tinder and then there's everyone else." situation, and Tinder is one of the only dating apps with the sheer volume it feels I need to have hope. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/25 02:55 PM |
| – | What is the incentive for successful men to tell unsuccessful men it is easy to date?Lack of self-awareness. Some things are just easier for some people than others. The simple human flaw of universalizing a personal experience. I.e. what you went through is not what others will go through. A virtue signal against perceived immorality. Even for all of the "It's okay to be a virgin." and "There's more to life than sex." rhetoric floating around, there is still an underlying idea that women's sexual attraction is some kind of moral test, and that if a man can't get a girlfriend he… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/06/25 01:53 PM |
| 8 | How do we decouple the unspoken idea that a woman’s sexual selection of a man is a form of cosmic justice that rewards him for being a good man?If women as a gender disappeared tomorrow, how would you overcome the current problems you are dealing with right now? They wouldn't be able to be overcome. I don't see the point in imagining a world in which something possible is impossible: it doesn't change the fact that I can still try to achieve it, and that achieving it will help me. By definition, I cannot have my sexual desires and needs met without other people. If someone is hungry, they need food. There is no "overcoming" of hunger wi… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/06/25 03:34 AM |
| 7 | How do we decouple the unspoken idea that a woman’s sexual selection of a man is a form of cosmic justice that rewards him for being a good man?I'm confused: where is this attitude coming from? You seem to be acting like I'm chasing the approval of some low-value woman, but I'm not. The way I see it trying to pursue sex isn't giving up my power. Being raped (by a man, to be clear, in case there's confusion on this) is what power being taken away feels like. Having consensual sex with someone who loves me that I feel safe with would be incredible. There's a real refusal of people to acknowledge the basic fact of "Doing good things makes … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 05/06/25 12:11 AM |
| 8 | How do we decouple the unspoken idea that a woman’s sexual selection of a man is a form of cosmic justice that rewards him for being a good man?This language to "decenter" relationships is what I was talking about. To be clear about where I'm coming from, I am a man in his late 20s and the only time I've had sex is being raped, and I haven't had a date in two years. I was scared and lonely before I was raped, and even more scared and lonely now that my only experience is being preyed upon. I do not want or need to "decenter" sex. My sexual health is something that has been neglected for years and I am only now finally addressing it. Cha… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/06/25 11:39 PM |
| 29 | How do we decouple the unspoken idea that a woman’s sexual selection of a man is a form of cosmic justice that rewards him for being a good man?Thank you for your sympathy and I get the sentiment of the articles, but the unspoken truth behind a lot of their advice is that the person can reliably get sex and romance in the first place. Some of it straight up assumes you already have someone. There's the assumption that sex is hard after trauma because someone can have it at will but chooses not to because it's unenjoyable. In my case, I was struggling to date to begin with, had the added humiliation of one of my only sexual experiences b… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/25 04:13 PM |
| 97 | How do we decouple the unspoken idea that a woman’s sexual selection of a man is a form of cosmic justice that rewards him for being a good man?As a male rape victim I've experienced this firsthand. If a female victim of trauma wants to have sex she's "reclaiming intimacy." If a male victim of trauma wants to have sex it's "Your girlfriend is not your therapist." A boyfriend must understand his girlfriend's depression, anxiety, or PTSD, but a man's mental health issues are reason alone to reject him, because of "emotional labor" and he's not "put together" enough and needs to "love himself" first. Articles abound about how to enhance "s… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/06/25 01:10 PM |
| 2 | Email Your State Democratic Party And Tell Them Why Men Are LeavingAnother problem with TM is that people apply it uncritically to seemingly every bad thing a man does, without thinking of other lenses or individual motives. It's too essentialist, if you want to be academic about it. I once asked on another sub how TM encourages violence and I was pointed to crime statistics that most violent criminals are men. This is bizarre: people commit crimes for all sorts of reasons other than to fulfill a sense of masculinity. Money, revenge, greed, hatred, the thrill, … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/25 11:25 PM |
| 2 | Email Your State Democratic Party And Tell Them Why Men Are LeavingOne thing that I would add is to ease up on alienating language and come swinging for men in some "culture war" debates. Change "toxic masculinity" to "internalized misandry". That way we focus more on what TM is originally supposed to mean (men internalizing sexist gender norms) as well as equalize the language i.e. a woman who pressures her daughter to wear makeup isn't called out for her "toxic femininity." It's easy to dismiss stuff like "Man vs. Bear" as just terminally online nonsense but … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 01/06/25 07:49 PM |
| 21 | Why Don’t Straight Women Acknowledge That Dating Is Easier for Them?Advantages in the early stages make later stages easier, since you have more to work with. It's easier to get second dates if you're getting a lot of first dates. It's easier to get first dates if you can get a lot of people to text you. It's easier for people to text you if you can match with them. Think of it like getting metal from ore: sorting through ore can be dangerous, tedious, and hard work, but someone without ore cannot even begin. I believe a week or two ago I made a comment about th… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/05/25 09:27 PM |
| 3 | As a male survivor of child/early adulthood abuse, I'm supposed to just pretend that there isn't a huge, sexist discrepancy in services for males vs femalesMale rape victim here. I signed up for a support group only for it to be cancelled because it was gender-segregated and not enough men showed up to the male portion. "Rape affects people of all gender and sexual orientations." but I guess empathy and healing is a single-sex space. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/05/25 11:54 PM |
| 3 | Democrats Have Spent 20 Million Dollars Trying To Figure Out How To Talk To MenIt’s hard to advocate for men’s issues while also trying to appease women and feminist thought. Look at how dead the menslib subreddit is. I once tried to make a post arguing that men are just as vulnerable to being raped as women. It got removed for referencing other communities, but I was confused. I hadn't linked anywhere, named names, or called out specific websites or subreddits. The closest thing was when I talked about how men don't get as many matches in online dating as women, which can… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/05/25 11:50 PM |
| 6 | CMV: Men should listen to women's desires and stop prioritizing decency in datingThe part that's missing and always bothers me is how abusers get women attracted to them outside of hiding their toxicity. Yes, I get that abusers hide thst they're abusive, but I struggle to explain why one man can have multiple domestic violence convictions and another struggles to get a single match. Abusive men are doing something to make them attractive that decent men aren't, because if "pretend to be a decent person" was enough then genuinely kind and safe people who don't have to pretend… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/05/25 02:05 PM |
| 1 | One of the biggest problems in dating is men *think* they want easy sex.To prove that a bad relationship can exist at the same time as good sex, and that if it did, being single would be preferable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/05/25 03:22 PM |
| 6 | Straight men on this subreddit, would you take a magic, gene-altering pill to become gay? (Not a satire question. Be serious.)It would be a defeat since I'd be changing my goals rather than accomplishing them, and I don't like that attitude. I'd have the moral sense of losing if "getting everything I wanted" means "changing what I want". | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/25 05:32 AM |
| 15 | Straight men on this subreddit, would you take a magic, gene-altering pill to become gay? (Not a satire question. Be serious.)I sometimes wonder this and the answer is no, especially not if I retain my memories of frustration with heterosexual dating. I would see magically becoming gay, even if all the expected/stereotypical benefits all came true, to be the ultimate admission of defeat. It would make me feel like a failure of a person if I had to resort to literal fantasy wish fulfillment like that. It would almost be like if I was trying and failing to learn to play guitar, and then someone offered me a magic pill to… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/05/25 04:19 AM |
| 10 | Q4M: if women don't respond well to men being vulnerable, why would we push so hard for it? What do we have to gain from lying?It's two different groups of people, or people not knowing what they're asking for. As a personal example, I have parents that are big on "You can tell us about anything!", yet get exhausted quickly listening about it. I also suppose some people want men to be "emotionally vulnerable" the way some people "like animals." People probably want to hear more about a man crying at a movie than crying about childhood trauma, the way "animals" means the cute ones and not something like rats. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/05/25 08:01 PM |
| 1 | Women here give wildly contradictory answers depending on who they want to defeat in a argumentFun fact: it's called the "Goomba Fallacy" https://englishinprogress.net/gen-z-slang/goomba-fallacy-explained/ | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/25 06:47 PM |
| 3 | Fierce Competition Is an Underrated Reason Behind Modern Dating StrugglesHow is this advice? What are we supposed to do about it? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/05/25 12:25 PM |
| 21 | Women here give wildly contradictory answers depending on who they want to defeat in a argumentIt's important to note the difference between individuals contradicting themselves and groups. If two arguments are incompatible, then it's possible for different people in the same group to consistently hold them. One doctor says eat this. Another says eat that. "Doctors say different things" but each genuinely believes they're right. The bigger problem is if one person flip-flops on an issue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/05/25 04:48 PM |
| 7 | Most people here think strategically bout what it's just normal for the average personI don't agree that people shouldn't think strategically about love and sex. If someone isn't getting what they want in life it's okay to look at that with evidence and logic rather than keep doing what never worked. We are struggling precisely because we are in a non-normal situation and need non-normal solutions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/05/25 11:44 PM |
| 2 | Would they have patience with a demisexual woman?I wouldn't mind the idea of demisexual men, and feel like women would tolerate it. So much of male dating advice is to not be sexual immediately that I can see it working fine if that's how a man is by default. Honestly, I wouldn’t get too hung up on particular labels. I feel like some people use different terms for similar things. If someone isn't attracted to someone at first sight but grows, you could think of it as: Low sex drive in general. They are not attracted to sex or others people in … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/05/25 09:38 PM |
| 12 | Women love romance but men do romance.Women just sitting there and looking pretty is not the reality of any married couple I know. "Married" is the key word. Someone on here once made a very nuanced point that there are times and stages in life where the burden of romance shifts between men and women. However, I think people who say they "struggle in dating" are 99% referring to the pre-marriage, pre-cohabitation phase where men have to do the most of the romance. Once people live together that's more of a "relationship advice" prob… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 07:07 PM |
| 1 | Men don't take enough responsibility for male lonelinessThat's a good idea. I've read books written by women about dating and there's often a cynicism about sorting through people and going through unsatisfying relationships and bad sex. I sometimes wonder what this means. On one hand, I think that everyone has to sort and filter, and sorting doesn't become easier if finding people in the first place is hard. It's not like the person who can find a new relationship every month needs to get through dozens of relationships to find the right one, but so… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 05:18 PM |
| 11 | CMV: The best way for most men to improve their dating prospects is to make more money. The best way for most women is to lose weight. But both genders project and prioritize what the other gender is supposed to.The thing that confuses me is how money is supposed to attract outside of cheesy things like posing with an expensive car. Sure, you can have more expensive dates, a nicer place to come back to, and so on, but that strikes me as "keeping", not "attracting." | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 06:16 AM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Yeah I don't have high expectation either. I'd even read that some dark circles are "genetic", but I'm welcome to see any change. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 12:17 AM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵Not as bad as that. It's noticeable up close and one of those "I see it in the mirror" things. I don't think you'd notice them on me at first glance. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 18/05/25 12:15 AM |
| 3 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵I started a skincare routine this month and I have to say I'm embarrassed to not have started one earlier in life. I hope to get rid of my dark circles, and I hope that the combination of better sleep, an eye cream and moisturizer/sunscreen will help. Supposedly the effects take a month or two to be noticeable, but I think I can see slight improvement already. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/25 11:49 PM |
| 1 | DISCUSSION🗨️ ABOUT MAIN PPD POSTS📮, LOOKS👀, AND N-COUNT🔢 ARE RESTRICTED🚫 FROM THE DAILY🌞 MEGATHREAD🧵50/50 on the satire. On one hand the scenario isn't that super unrealistic. In my awkward glory, I had a nonsexual, PG-rated version of this actually happen in high school when I was fascinated by a girl's tights and asked if I could touch them. It wasn't even flirting: I was literal-minded and just wanted to know what the material felt like. I was allowed, and can definitely see someone approaching a more sensitive area in such a literal, cautious way. That said, if that woman is real and blush… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/25 11:32 PM |
| 5 | Men don't take enough responsibility for male lonelinessYou basically just want men to be like women. I think it's deeper than this. There's this idea that men are "conditioned to get all their emotional needs met from a partner" as opposed to women and their friend groups, but I think this is reverse causation. I don't think women are fine with being single because they have more friends. I think they have more friends because they're happy being single. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/25 04:58 PM |
| 10 | Men don't take enough responsibility for male lonelinessmen are lonely because men don't care to meet and build healthy, supportive, platonic relationships with other men. Male loneliness is code for male sexlessness because it's taboo as a straight man to openly desire sex or complain about not having it. Hence the friendship vs. Sex drive confusion. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/25 04:52 PM |
| – | Advice for Young Men with Potential to AchieveI respect the advice, but I think a lot of men are already very aware of being used for money, and would prefer someone who doesn't see us as an ATM. If anything, I think the real problem is that we don't have the choice to be picky. It would be one thing if we had options and we had the choice to commit or not, or if we had options and it made it easier to reject people since there were others, but for a lot of us "commit yourself with extraordinary care" is an end-game strategy that is irrelev… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/05/25 02:06 AM |
| 2 | Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic?Interesting, but my family and culture doesn't really seem to consider anger masculine. We disapprove of basically all anger, from men or women. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 09:12 PM |
| 4 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?Yes and no. On one hand a lot of men would take advantage of the opportunities, but on the other there'd be people for whom the validation is enough. A huge problem isn't just not having sex, but the inability to if wanted. It's having choice and control. A lot of men would be happier if they knew the options were there and ready whenever they were. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 01:39 PM |
| 2 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?I think men, in general, value or need more sexual variety to be satisfied, but still want monogamy. Thus, the compromise: the fantasy to have a lot of casual sex to explore our options and feel confident in being attractive, then a long term relationship of our choice. For monogamy, I've met actual polyamorous people and I know I'm definitely not that. I don't think I could handle the social stress of multiple relationships at once and all the different levels of affection and independence. It … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 02:56 AM |
| 11 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?I don't get this. What kind of man finds casual sex easier than getting into a relationship? My understanding is that this is women's dating problem: I read male and female dating advice books, and there's definitely a trend where male dating advice is more like "How do I attract literally even a single person? How do I get chosen?" and female dating advice is "How do I date for marriage? How do I attract better people? How do I choose someone?" | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 12:56 AM |
| 4 | In a world where you could easily have casual sex with women, would you still prefer to marry/LTR/commit to a “low n” woman?Even in our current reality, I don't really care about a woman's virginity as much as other men. If a woman is a virgin, we can grow and learn together, though there will obviously be a lot of awkwardness. On the other hand, a highly experienced woman knows what she wants and, if willing to date me in the first place, would be willing to teach me. I see advantages and disadvantages in both. In both reality and your thought experiment I wouldn't commit yet, because I want to experiment and explor… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 12:51 AM |
| 1 | 4B movement after Trump's victory did not last long last4B was never a real thing the way I see it. People were grasping for some kind of counterstory to Trump's win and a sex strike was floated as an idea. In reality, people have had the whole "No cops, no MAGA" kind of things in their dating bios for years. The kind of women who didn't date conservative men were already not doing so. I have not heard or seen any further appreciable difference in people finding sex or romance. Besides, regardless of where you stand you should have already figured ou… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/05/25 12:32 AM |
| 5 | Most men won't succeed on dating appsI disagree with Tinder being a copy of Grindr, since unless it's changed, Grindr also has a far different interface. I downloaded Grindr maybe a couple years ago to see what I'd get (5 likes in one day with a blank profile if I remember), and what blew me away was how it's designed to actually work rather than frustrate. The app displays lots of profiles at once, like an online shopping results list. It's not like one-person-swipe-yes-or-no model of other apps. If I remember correctly it's also … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/05/25 01:32 PM |
| 2 | Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic?I never had it weaponized against me like that. It's just that I feel like the whole "men aren't allowed to express emotions other than anger" is kind of a meme that breaks down once you apply any critical thinking. Have people never seen a man proud of an accomplishment? Have they never seen a man mourn a loss? Have these never seen a man excited at something, or hopeful, or tired? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 10:31 PM |
| 30 | Are there any feminist or blue pill solutions to the male loneliness epidemic?and displays of non-anger emotion aren’t okay, I don't get this. People don't like male anger either from what I've experienced. If I cry people tell me to get over it, and if I talk while agitated people get scared. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 13/05/25 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Which relationship dynamic, out of the following three, is the most ideal one?I think the fluid and adaptable Captain/First Mate model is the most ideal for me. Then again, I'm an introvert who likes women taking the lead so it may not exactly be what you'd imagine. For example, I'd much rather say "We should go out to this restaurant, what do you want to order?" or hear "I'm going painting tonight. I think it'll be fun if you come along." rather than get stuck in a "What do you want to do?" / "I don't know, what do you want to do?" loop or negotiate every little detail o… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/25 11:49 PM |
| 1 | The Market Value metaphor breaks down because products you buy don’t choose you back.I think it holds up because even though buyers are exercising choice, the "sellers" also make their own choices: what to sell, where to set up shop, and even (for some industries) whether to take someone on at all. You can, of course, also choose to not be a business at all and just be single. The dating market isn't exactly like a one-way market like grocery shopping, but it's sort of like a two-way market, like art commissions or hiring a lawyer, or even the "coconut model" about search costs.… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 12/05/25 02:55 AM |
| 2 | "green flags" in women that aren't necessarily attractive, or "red flags" that aren't unattractive?Financial stability isn't really a "sexually" attractive thing, but someone with too much debt, an unstable housing or job situation, and so on would scare me off. Introversion can be a green flag for safety and trust purposes. I dated a fellow introvert and we never had problems with controlling or clingy behavior. I'd imagine people who are drained by social interaction are less likely to cheat, spread rumors, or have a constant need for validation or affection. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/25 10:53 PM |
| 2 | Women, in order to avoid abusive males, shun the completely opposite demographic.I don't see a trend in what kinds of men abuse victims fall for. It's not about attractiveness or even "being a provider" in the traditional sense. My understanding is that a lot of "relationships" below a certain income level are survival sex/duty sex situations where it's less about how tall he is than the fact that a jobless "boyfriend" who stays home to watch the kids is cheaper than daycare. Middle class people who get zero matches after paying for Tinder look at something like that and say… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/05/25 06:05 PM |
| 165 | “Men are looking for clean water in a desert while women are looking for clean water in a swamp” is the most misandrist analogy I ever heardI agree it's a bad analogy but I don't think it's misandrist. I think it's just a misunderstanding, or a poor attempt at both-sidism "everyone struggles in their own way" thinking without considering the implications. The way I see it, the desert/swamp analogy doesn't portray equivalent struggles unless you assume that water in the desert is automatically high quality. Everyone has to filter for good, safe water: finding it is just the first step, no matter where you are. "I have trouble finding… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/05/25 03:41 PM |
| 11 | In an ideal world, everybody would have an ideal life and dating experience. But it's just not possible for everybody.I think the main difference with dating and other forms of life is that dating is probably the area in life where there's the least transparency and ability to objectively evaluate yourself. Imagine if we were trying to find jobs but even basic information like how many actual openings there are or what level of education is required for the position was incredibly controversial. In trying to find a job, postings will literally list requirements and the business dress code is very stable and und… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/05/25 06:52 PM |
| 1 | People will be happier once they remember—correctly—that the internet is full of liarsAt least for me I can personally confirm some things, whereas others I do think are a bit baseless. People disagree on the reasons but I do believe that a lot of men really do get almost no matches since that's my experience. Other things I think could be real but exaggerated. I've never been shamed or humiliated for asking someone out, but can absolutely see where it's the kind of thing that can screw up a person's dating life even if it's only happened to them once or it happens rarely but sto… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/25 05:33 PM |
| 1 | People will be happier once they remember—correctly—that the internet is full of liarsIt's not so much that we don't think people lie or exagerrate sometimes, so much as we see the general trend. Is someone who says "I've gotten no matches in 4 months?" lying? But enough people complain about little to no matches in general, do post evidence, and do give plausible reasons why that it certainly can be true. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/05/25 03:19 PM |
| 2 | Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why?You're welcome. The Slate one is free and not account-walled. For Dan Savage, I kept a copy of what I wrote to him, although the full article containing his response and the other letter-writers is his of course. One last bit of context is that this is from July of 2024 so A. I'm better now and B. it wasn't just hurtful comments I disagreed with. It was also a low point in my life in general as a grandparent was dying, I was trying different treatments, I was still trying to get the police to ta… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 06:40 PM |
| 2 | Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why?Slate has comments and article in separate links: https://slate.com/advice/2025/01/sexual-assault-sex-dating-men-straight-advice.html https://slate.com/comments/advice/2025/01/sexual-assault-sex-dating-men-straight-advice.html I also wrote to Dan Savage and got a response. The article itself is account-walled but it's more or less the same thing. The comments are publicly available. https://savage.love/savagelove/2024/07/16/solo-survivor/ I was not in a very good place and had the bad idea to cr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 06:13 PM |
| 3 | Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why?The idea that women hate random incels on the internet is a common incel myth. I wrote to sex columns talking about how to have sex after trauma and one commentor called me an incel because I pointed out how awful it was that literal felons get dates and I can't. Other commentors accused me of being a porn addict, said that I must be gay, or that it was good I was alone. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 05:26 PM |
| 11 | Women: Do you hate/despise unattractive incel losers who whine about women's dating standards more than actual abusers, rapists, and violent murderers of women? If so, why?Curious how none of those women with fucked up sexuality is looking at an Incel and say "yeah that does it for me" But for serial killers that happens quite a bit. This is what really gets to me. I understand that most women are not into serial killers, I understand that it's a very specific kind of fetish or fantasy, but it's still weird when there is a very clear if rare type of woman who chases some of the worst men to ever exist, but relatively mild things like "awkwardness" or "insecurity" … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 05:18 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: What significance does a social network have to you?Male sexuality is catered to in media but its demonized in actual men. Seeing a sexy woman in a fast food advertisement does not mean approaching women or talking about the desire to have sex is socially acceptable. An advertisement is not a girlfriend. The porn industry is not a sex partner. Even beauty standards seem driven more by corporations or even other women than men. My one and only girlfriend was made to wear lip gloss and perfume by her mom even after I tried to politely raise the iss… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/05/25 04:54 PM |
| 32 | The resentment for women will grow drastically in years to comeReality itself is radicalizing and demoralizing. Do you think normal people have no trouble dating if they try and just isolate in echo chambers? It's like thinking the economy is great and people only feel poor because they watch too much finance YouTube. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 11:39 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: What significance does a social network have to you?We say this because straight male sexuality is really taboo. Those who succeed face their own kind of slut shaming, and people assume men who can't succeed sexually are terrible people. Sexuality in general is taboo, but straight men are seen as predatory and disgusting a lot of the time. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 02:21 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: Would you marry outside of "The West"?For me personally no, but I'm not sure I'm a good data point for your question. I basically had almost no "young love" and what little I had was very unsatisfying. I am in a stable place in life but as I approach 30 I want to explore my options before committing to anyone but don't know how. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/05/25 04:36 AM |
| 1 | Q4M: What do you actually want from women in romantic/sexual relationship/connections?If "LTR" means looking for marriage then no. I'll admit, I'm caught in a very awkward spot in my life where I'm too old for "young love" but I have almost no romantic or sexual experience at all, so I have to try exploring in a time when other people are getting more serious. I get that will cause conflict. I had one girlfriend at the very end of college, but it was pseudo-long distance due to the pandemic and we broke up for a lot of reasons. Either way, that's the end of carefree "young love" … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 05/05/25 10:17 PM |
| 13 | “Trauma dumping”Rape alone is enough to disprove the idea men trauma dump more. Every man is supposed to accept outright prejudice from women due to the existence of rape. Even smaller stuff like insecurity about being fat. Complain about how only thin women are considered pretty and you're calling out unfair beauty standards. Complain about tall men and you'll be called an incel. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 07:20 PM |
| 22 | “Trauma dumping”Man open-carries gun for self-defense, no different than a woman's pepper spray "Lol small dick energy" | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 07:07 PM |
| 12 | “Trauma dumping”I tried to give the emotional labor concept a good faith try until I read a thread about it and some of the examples were Life Skills 101 stuff like doing grocery shopping and remembering birthdays. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 07:05 PM |
| 26 | “Trauma dumping”As a male rape victim I wrote to advice columnists on how to find safe, consensual sex. I talked about how finding a loving, safe partner would help me heal from trauma. The columnists were nice enough but people in the comments mocked me and said I was pressuring someone to fix me. People said I had a bad personality, accused me of being a porn addict, and said it was good I was alone so I wouldn't burden anyone else. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 07:03 PM |
| 1 | Q4M: What do you actually want from women in romantic/sexual relationship/connections?Passionate sexual attraction on both ends. I don't want to to ever question if it's about stability or money. Financial and medical independence. I want someone who doesn't need me. Doesn't want children, or (very case by case) has them and they are grown up. Emotional maturity and direct communication. Minimizes or compartmentalized outside stresses that I shouldn't have a stake in. For example, if there is family drama it is managed and won't spill to me. I want to date someone, not their whol… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/05/25 02:26 PM |
| 1 | Let's make a list of content creators that make fun of male issues.Dr. Nerdlove seems to have a serious case of male hyperagency (i.e. dismisses things like dating app algorithms or sex ratios as a factor in loneliness, and thinks its mainly social skills), and defended the Man vs. Bear comparison. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 04/05/25 02:13 PM |
| 20 | One of the biggest reasons for the discrepancy of sexualization and the argument over approach and effort is the 'education of sexiness'. Many men overlook this and simply believe women are genetically "blessed to be more attractive than men"; and that women put in no effort at all to make a move.I'd argue that it's more than men just not being taught: it's that we don't have as much options in the first place, and it's because our bodies aren't nearly as sexualized as women's culturally or biologically. Even if we were taught how to be sexy, it seems like there's far less room for style and improvement than for women. The "skill ceiling" is higher for women than for men: more work to do, but more payoff. I actually made a post about this a while back. Long story short, it was inspired b… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/25 10:01 PM |
| 38 | Q4M: Why do you misunderstand or malign well-intentioned dating advice?This is the exact attitude I'm talking about. Single men are only welcomed when we suppress our sexuality. We are told that if we want to date we need to join clubs, but we can't join clubs with the intention to date. If being upfront about our sexuality is desperate, then it means we hide it and have "ulterior motives." when we try to expand our social circles. It's like the mere existence of our sexuality itself is seen as disrespectful and degrading to others around us and people just want us… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/25 06:11 PM |
| 35 | Q4M: Why do you misunderstand or malign well-intentioned dating advice?We don't feel like we're welcome as single men in communities. We only feel welcome as people. We can "read the room", it's just that we have no idea of what a room with women who want to be approached looks like. We understand that hard work is required. We just don't see results from it. I've joined tons of hobbies and clubs over the years but I rarely meet single women looking for a man. We're also more socially aware than people give us credit for. For example, we don't want to ask put one p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/25 05:07 PM |
| 4 | Why is it becoming common for people to post fake ai photos of sad lonely older women?One the surface, it's just rage bait, but the element of AI means that these kinds of images can be mass-produced in a way that isn't really possible with traditional photography or art. Whereas you once needed a model, props, etc. or hours in an editing program, you now get in minutes with a prompt. Another key element of AI is that you can make them as an individual for essentially free: no need to commission an artist, no need to pay a model. Anyone, anywhere, of any ideology, can now essenti… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 03/05/25 01:01 AM |
| – | Men have no options.Tried online dating, got no woman matches but some men try to communicate even tho i only set for ONLY WOMEN. Do you mean gay men who set their profile as "female" for some reason? I've seen that happen a few times. A masculine looking person with a man's name, who doesn't indicate they are trans or nonbinary, just shows up in my feed randomly. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 11:13 PM |
| – | Men have no options.It's not an option if it's a default you're stuck with. What do you mean? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 11:06 PM |
| 13 | Q4M: Whats more radicalizing - actual dating experience or the manosphere?A lot of men don't like to approach women because we're afraid of making them uncomfortable or unsafe. We can, in fact, "read the room." It's just that when there are 10 women at the gym almost all of them are on cardio machines with headphones on, and the remainder working out with their boyfriend. We like online dating where everyone is at least supposed to be looking for sex or love, and we can "approach" dozens of people a day rather than awkwardly wait to see when "the right time" is to wal… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 09:07 PM |
| 17 | Q4M: Whats more radicalizing - actual dating experience or the manosphere?My Tinder Data keeps track of right and left swipes and I guess it depends on what your threshold would be for mass swiping. For my part I've never just blasted through 100 right swipes in a row to see what I could get. I read everyone's bios because Tinder's preference filters for lifestyle things like religion, smoking habits, and children don't seem to work. I ended up with a match rate of 0.25%. 1,200 right swipes for 3 matches, all scammers. I tried to have a hobby picture, pet picture, fac… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 04:31 PM |
| 102 | Q4M: Whats more radicalizing - actual dating experience or the manosphere?Actual experience. If dating worked, especially online dating, then manosphere influencers and pundits would be disproven within days of creating a profile. That's not the case. There are just too many My Tinder Data posts of people swiping literally thousands of times and getting nothing. We are talking about men who put in months, years of effort, hundreds of dollars in premium tiers, and get almost nothing. A lot of people are lazy but enough patient and hardworking people struggle that you c… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 03:08 PM |
| – | Lonely men shouldn’t even be focused on datingI have tried this route in life and it resulted in me being so desperate for a date I tried dating a man and got raped by a gay guy older than my dad. Human sexuality just can't be ignored or suppressed, and it's honestly insulting that romance and sex is the only form of human connection people treat this way. "I need friends to go bowling with." "Ugh, friendship isn't a need. Solo bowling is empowering actually." "Having a good relationship with my mother is important to me. Right now I'm depr… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 12:43 PM |
| 2 | "Women” have not become pickier but indecisiveI don't really ever buy decision overload as a reason why dating is hard. A right swipe is not a marriage proposal. The whole point of dating is to get to know people better. If you are locked in a room with hundreds of foods start trying them. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 02/05/25 04:04 AM |
| 2 | Hey PPD! What is an unpopular opinion that you are thoroughly convinced is true about modern dating after many years?I once remember a YouTuber talking about how he worked in a bookstore and the "self-help" section is all just the same basic advice remarketed to different audiences. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 05:43 PM |
| 2 | Q4M: Would you date a woman who took "How to talk to men" classes?Absolutely. I grew up in the special needs world so the idea of basic life skills needing to be taught to people, even literal adults, is totally normal to me. Social awkwardness to the point of actual disability is the baseline I know from my formative years. I don't expect charm or smoothness from anyone. More personally, I'd be grateful for the effort to self-improve, and don't care where someone's skills came from. I don't need someone to be "naturally" or "authentically" confident. The way … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 05:25 PM |
| – | A lot of women invalidate men's emotions and experiences by saying "go to therapy" in response to men's concerns about dating certain types of women.Therapy doesn't work for everyone, and "Go to therapy" is basically the non-religious equivalent of "I'm praying for you." It can be used as a very polite way to basically say "You're crazy shut up.", and when taken literally and in good faith, it's still someone not giving you direct advice or help. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 02:47 PM |
| 43 | Hey PPD! What is an unpopular opinion that you are thoroughly convinced is true about modern dating after many years?My unpopular opinion is that a lot of people don't actually disagree with a lot of TRP/Manosphere talking points, they just don't like the marketing, framing, or buzzwords. This isn't to say everyone is stupid or shallow: a lot of a product is the packaging or "unboxing" itself, if that makes sense. "The medium is the message." and such. For example, if you say "Younger women like excitement but prefer stability when they get more mature." that sounds a lot nicer to say than "Women chase alphas … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 02:10 AM |
| 0 | Why don’t women desire men as much as vice versa?I don't really understand this attitude. I feel like people who want romance and sex are caught in a catch-22. If there are non-sexual things we want it from a sexual relationship it becomes "Oh you can get this from a friend.", yet at the same time it's taboo to outright and only say "I want someone to have sex with." It's a kind of paradox where "I want a girlfriend." gets stripped down to just the sexual stuff, even if someone genuinely does want more than sex. I understand that a lot of what… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/04/25 12:33 AM |
| 2 | A significant amount of issues in dating arise from misandryThe world hates male sexuality: catering doesn't mean acceptance. In my own family dating was constantly frowned upon. It was always no, girls are trouble, get settled first, it'll happen eventually, etc. Using sex appeal on an advertisement doesn't mean corporations care about men's intimacy. It means they want our money. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/25 05:24 PM |
| 1 | Low self worth zoomers and their obsession with “frame”My personal generational framing goes as follows: Millenials: Don't know a time before the internet, but know a time before smartphones. Personally, I consider myself one despite being a Zoomer by year cutoffs. I grew up with a single family computer, dial-up internet, separate CD/MP3 players, Kodak cameras, first phone was one I slid open, and so on. I never dated until college but older Millenials who started dating in high school would have probably been the very last people to find love in t… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/25 01:14 AM |
| 2 | Low self worth zoomers and their obsession with “frame”I like how you brought up "enemies to lovers" since it's such a fiction-coded idea, but when you think about it the basic idea is everywhere. People really love the idea of a love interest being initially hostile, at least at first. There's a disturbing amount of "Bully ASMR" roleplay videos on YouTube. All the various "-dere" types in Japanese/Japanese-inspired media are some variation of "Character has a nonromantic, offputting side but is actually a softie who's into you", most famously the "… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 29/04/25 12:44 AM |
| 4 | Low self worth zoomers and their obsession with “frame”Zoomer women get the ick when men lose frame but they are attracted to men who can make themselves lose frame provided she sees him as a worthy partner. I'm technically a very old Zoomer if people think the cutoff is 1996 but this is all totally alien to me. If anything, it took me some rereads to figure out what this meant, and afterwards I realized that I have seen this dynamic before, not in real life but a manga called Kaguya Wants to be Confessed To. It's basically about two arrogant but sm… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 11:43 PM |
| 1 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.How do you know? These take time, money, and energy away from other things in life. I am busy and these events emotionally exhaust me. Give me a failure point at which you will admit it's bad advice. You cannot just simply expect me to keep working harder when I tell you the hard work isn't working. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 08:16 PM |
| 3 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Yes. 3 speed dating events. 2 of them I got no likes at all. 1 event had two people like me. 1 wasn't attractive. The other chose another man, because I went out to eat across the street afterwards and she came in with him, name tags and all. The sitcom-esque setup was kind of funny but still. I sent a message just in case but didn't get a reply. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 05:52 PM |
| 5 | Dating got easier not harder as people are making it out to be.Want someone who shares your niche hobby? Just swipe right or heck get onn the dating app or go to a niche forum like a cosplay or D&D one. I've been trying niche apps/sites/hobbies for years: Male majority hobbies. Else that or old people, married people, etc. A sea of M4F personal ads with 0 replies. Scammers. Running out of women. I swiped through Hiki (autism dating app) in maybe 20 minutes. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/04/25 05:09 PM |
| 2 | "If men suffer in silence, why do I keep hearing about it then?"I'd point out that exceptions can prove the rule and there is a bit of an apex fallacy involved where the most outspoken people are the only ones visible in the first place. A YouTuber who gets hundreds of thousands of followers saying "Nobody is speaking up." can get popular precisely because they're saying things the followers feel they can't. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/04/25 01:04 PM |
| 8 | A Personal Story during #metoo and How that Should Affect MRA Policymy supervisors, and my CASA peers literally didn't have time to be ideologically driven. We needed to serve these children and advocate for their needs. I realized that organizations on the front lines of social issues are going to be overwhelmingly practical. Awesome observation. People get caught up in national level culture wars about Supreme Court rulings or executive orders or viral mass movements that we forget that "which company gets the garbage collection contract?" or "What is the loca… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 27/04/25 01:00 PM |
| 3 | The current generation of daters are frustrated and entitled because we are in an uncomfortable transition period where what was standard, successful monogamy, is now the exceptionYes, but those were in times and societies where people were forced to pair up, like arranged marriages or women being dependent on a husband. How do people in the current age get together? It's difficult for me to even understand how it's possible. I go to the gym and 90% of people are on cardio machines headphones in. I go to bars and it is too loud to even talk, and approachable single women are basically nowhere to be found. I join hobby groups and it's mostly men, old people, and partnered … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/25 12:42 PM |
| 1 | The current generation of daters are frustrated and entitled because we are in an uncomfortable transition period where what was standard, successful monogamy, is now the exceptionHow is this occurring? Are people settling? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/25 12:37 PM |
| – | Men who have no luck dating, why are you still trying?The drive for sex and intimacy is instinctual. You can't just ignore it. Also, it comes to easily to other people and I want to have what they have. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/25 12:35 PM |
| – | A very specific question about paying for meals and drinksThey come up with this brilliant plan to call the same guy, acting all like, “Hey, our treat this time” The guy shows up, and he still pays for everything. I don't get it. Are the girls lying about them wanting to pay, then shifting it onto him when he shows up? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 26/04/25 03:10 AM |
| – | The controversial idea of therapeutic submission/masochism, and men's exclusion from it.I think you're wrong just talking about the kink side of this. I see this dynamic everywhere. Articles abound on "How to love a partner with >mental illness<" or "How to have sex when you have >medical condition<." In that same vein calling women damaged goods is sexist. There's this empowering sex-positive discourse that people with trauma, disabilities, and mental health issues can be loved and enjoy sex too. Yet, as a man with trauma, I'm often told that I'm not ready, that I don't "love myse… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/25 12:28 PM |
| 3 | Post-Scarcity should come to the Sexual Marketplace.I see people in relationships, but the key thing is that I don't see them forming in my demographic. More or less I know who is in a relationship or marriage is in one of three situations: Met in high school or college. Effectively, they met in the best "warm approach" environment one could ask for. Thousands of people of the opposite sex all living together in close proximity without the financial, professional, and social obligations of full adulthood. Is a woman, so male dating difficulties d… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 25/04/25 02:31 AM |
| 1 | Post-Scarcity should come to the Sexual Marketplace.How do you know that? If average men couldn't get dates then the entire manosphere wouldn't exist. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/25 12:32 PM |
| 10 | What is wrong with modern menHonestly a big part of it might be men's weight. Men generally think of fitness and weight in two basic steps: "not fat, but not fit" and "six pack abs". The classic lose weight, gain muscle strategy. Everyone is dreaming about influencer chests or bodybuilder arms, but what people forget is that weight loss makes almost everything more prominent. Jawline, cheeks, shoulders, neck, wrists, veins in arms and legs, hip bones, more flat and "square" breasts (i.e. more like a male lifeguard). We get … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 24/04/25 01:28 AM |
| 1 | Post-Scarcity should come to the Sexual Marketplace.I've never understood the "desperation is unattractive" thing, because most men struggle at stages where it isn't visible. If a man gets dates and he shakes in nervous obsession the whole time then yeah, but "depseration" doesn't explain why the average man struggles to get a single match on visual-based dating apps. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 23/04/25 12:07 PM |
| 1 | What going to happen to the dating scene in 10 to 20 years?I don't really know. My Tinder match rate is 0.25% and I've only ever matched with scammers but I don't think I look bad. I work out, wear different outfits in the photos, no big mistakes like being an obvious selfie or too dark lighting. Warm approaching is dead. I'm post college in a professional workplace. I just don't reliably meet single women my age with my lifestyle. I have outdoor hobbies but I just see old people and little kids when I'm out and about. Cold approaching is something I've… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/25 05:54 PM |
| 4 | What going to happen to the dating scene in 10 to 20 years?You're welcome. On one hand, I appreciate that people are trying to show that there's a path in life that doesn't involve romance, but I do think there's been an overcorrection. It's one thing to tell an actual teenager that they're not a loser if they don't get a date in high school, it's when people look at the sex drive of someone in their early/mid 20s and insist that friendship is what's really needed that irritates me. Whether people like it or not, there are milestones to be missed, biolo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 22/04/25 01:15 AM |
| 85 | What going to happen to the dating scene in 10 to 20 years?I think societies like South Korea or Japan are where it's going. On a surface level, people will continue to marry, have kids, date, and so on, but a shift will happen where it goes from something that's expected in life to something that's a kind of status symbol or exclusive life experience. The same way that the poorest countries can still have people with jobs, earn money, have thriving small businesses and even millionaires and billionaires, there will be people who say "What dating crisis… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 20/04/25 04:09 PM |
| 12 | Q4M: What dating advice would you give a guy who exudes “beta bux™️” but doesn’t want to be “beta bux™️”?Pretty much any sexual desire or fantasy sounds gross when literally described to a stranger with no context. I think the point is that having things you'd like is itself seen as a sign of pornsickness. It's a kind of puritanism, where people generically "love" and be "intimate" but specific desires are seen as just wanting to recreate unrealistic fiction. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 19/04/25 08:02 PM |
| 14 | We should stop using the terms "incel" and "nice guy"I think the male equivalent is actually "fuckboy", but yeah, it's jarring when otherwise progressive or liberal people start spouting that term. I've seen articles try to defend the term, supposedly on the basis that it's about disrespecting your partners rather than the sex itself, but that's like saying "slut" isn't a slur because it's about a woman who "degrades herself" with sex rather than the sex itself. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/25 01:50 PM |
| 28 | We should stop using the terms "incel" and "nice guy"I once wrote to a dating advice column asking for advice on how to have sex after being assaulted by a man. The comments were brutal. People insinuated I was porn addict, said that it was good I was lonely, etc. I defended myself and pointed out to one person saying that it's agonizing to be told to self-improve when objectively evil and worse off men can still get dates. I.e. literal domestic abusers, by definition, still get whole families to abuse. I was called an incel for pointing this out … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 19/04/25 01:44 PM |
| 2 | I think a lot of men were lied to as kids about love and that's why they're bitterI know you ask it as a rhetorical question, but I think the answer is interesting/horrifying. Basically, we're learning what "true", base rate of romance and sexuality actually exists between men and women when you remove financial dependence, social pressure to settle down and have kids, laws against fornication, fault-only divorce, make people most-ish safe from STDs and unwanted pregnancies if they play their cards right, and so on The long story short of it is that it seems evidence that men… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 17/04/25 12:14 AM |
| 9 | What a horrible court decision has been released in the UK today.Statistically they have, and ironically treated them fine because nobody has to see people's chromosomes/genitals/reproductive cells to say "I passed a woman/man on the sidewalk." It's just that "trans person" in political rhetoric 99% of the time means "trans woman", and that in turn is stereotyped as "non-not-even-trying-to-pass man-in-a-dress", "violent felon who only now says they want to be in a women's prison", or "Biological man DESTROYS female chess player with BONE DENSITY and GRIP STRE… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 16/04/25 05:41 PM |
| 16 | I think a lot of men were lied to as kids about love and that's why they're bitterI get that unfairness is a part of the system, but there seems to be a real reluctance in the mainstream to acknowledge the unfairness and unequal struggles. There's still the idea that if you struggle in dating you must be a bad person. I once wrote to a dating columnist about trying to start my sex life, because the last time I tried to date someone I was assaulted. In the comments people were essentially calling me dated goods, that I needed to go to therapy (didn't work), that it was good I … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/25 04:50 PM |
| – | Feminist infiltration in liberal spaces has cost us everything.Free speech does not mean that an idea is socially acceptable. "Piling on" someone is as much an act of expression as whatever sparked the controversy. The internet could be a more tolerant and civil place, sure, but that's not a free speech problem. If Nazis can march through a town of Holocaust survivor's then people on Twitter can say you're a bad person. If torches and guns are just the First and Second Amendment in action then so is flames in a comment section. "This person should have a pl… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/25 02:56 PM |
| 3 | I think a lot of men were lied to as kids about love and that's why they're bitterTwo answers. Romance for men is more laborious and less romantic as the active party. We don't get to be swept off our feet. Being taken out for dinner, approached, something "just happening" isn't a thing. Romance and rom coms for men do exist, but in anime and manga. There is an entire genre of "harem" romance, which consists of several women competing for a man's attention. One of the most popular manga now is Rent A Girlfriend, about a man who has to pretend a worker from a nonsexual escort … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/25 02:06 PM |
| 24 | I think a lot of men were lied to as kids about love and that's why they're bitterIt's not that we feel being nice alone entitles us to a relationship or sex. It's the fact that we're told to be better men, only to see objectively worse men and women get sex and relationships. It's the double failure of following advice, not getting success, and seeing successful people do the opposite. We all know it takes more than opening doors to arouse a woman, but the anger comes from the fact that a guy with 5 domestic battery arrests can still get married while we struggle to get even… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 15/04/25 01:36 PM |
| 1 | Should soft core entertainment be banned or removed from mainstream platforms?Overall, I don't think porn, even hard-core stuff, is that much of a problem. Media influences us but adults can tell the difference between fantasy and reality, and I think the problems porn "causes" are a symptom of other problems. If someone uses porn to learn about sex because their parents or schools never gave them sex education, that's an education system/cultural learning issue, not the fault of an industry made for adults only. If a grown man tries choking a woman without asking because… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/25 03:36 PM |
| 1 | Makeup skews the dating marketI grew up in a household without makeup, so I know what fresh-faced women actually look like. As it turns out, they look exactly like normal, everyday women. The "no makeup makeup that takes a long time to apply" is an exaggeration. Some women do in fact just go out as they are, and when they do put on makeup, it's some foundation or concealer to even out their skin tone or cover up dark circles, some mascara to enhance their eyelashes or some color on their eyes or lips. The idea of 4s and 5s r… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 14/04/25 01:31 PM |
| 11 | Is this okay? A top comment on one of the most popular movie platforms promotes sexism and misandry.I would say it's more of an abusive relationship horror film with sci-fi elements, and I don't think the film looks down on men in general, but yeah, the villain is a man and if you're looking for male "sex positivity" look elsewhere. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 06:44 PM |
| 4 | Of Boys and Men - Richard ReevesI think there's a kind of quiet part that nobody wants to say out loud, and that's that women simply aren't as attracted to men as much as the other way around, and that sex/romance has little to do with morality or success in life. I think this is part of where the "Why can't men just make friends?" meme comes from. People seem to recognize that, if only subconsciously, that the supply is never going to meet demand. Men could get six packs and be the most upstanding citizens, but there'd still … | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 05:01 PM |
| 2 | Is Feminism a right-wing movement?There's a lot of different kinds of feminism so I'd hedge on the exact sub-ideology, but "liberal feminism" in the "X was the first woman to reach Y position" is conservative in a neoliberal sense. Basically, there's a certain kind of liberalism that likes the aesthetics of progress, and maybe even incremental reform, while still keeping systems in place. There's definitely a kind of conservative "liberal" whose idea of revolution is getting onto a magazine cover or celebrating a holiday or awar… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 04:11 PM |
| 6 | Of Boys and Men - Richard ReevesCalling it toxic masculinity vilifies both parts though, thus risking that boys start suppressing their feelings out of fear of being roped in with "toxic masculinity". I've always hated the whole "men need to express their emotions more" claim, because it carries a real "No, we didn't mean it like that!" quality to it. There's the "emotional labor" meme, where apparently even sharing your feelings with your girlfriend or wife is considered an unfair burden on her. There's also the fact that a l… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 03:54 PM |
| 15 | Of Boys and Men - Richard ReevesLike I said in my other comment, I genuinely don't think this would have been an issue if it was girls discussing boys they liked or even gay boys discussing themselves. We live in a sex-negative society in general, but it seems to me that male heterosexuality is pretty much the only sexuality that's universally frowned upon. Gay people face institutional oppression but still have their allies and safe spaces in their own community. More hate but more love. Women can get shamed but there's encou… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 03:48 PM |
| 15 | My nephew asked me if he is going to grow up to be a rapist ...oppressing women for all of history and therefore men can't be oppressed by women Has this person never heard of intersectionality before? I thought by now the idea that you can be marginalized because of X but privileged because of Y was mainstream. Even the claim that minorities can't be bigoted against majorities because it's "prejudice + power" still admits that prejudice against majority groups can exist. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 03:40 PM |
| 6 | Of Boys and Men - Richard ReevesI don't even think ranking people and commenting on attractiveness is anti-social anyway. I mean, is that whole screw, marry, kill game oppression? Are gossipy sleepovers about who you think is cute some horrible act of mistreatment? "Hey, do you think X is hot?" is utterly banal teenage conversation material for men and women. Would be labeled toxic masculinity if it was some gay boys expressing or exploring themselves through an (apparently not circulated) list? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 13/04/25 02:25 PM |
| – | As we become more online, how much weight should we give to how men and women interact in digital spaces?I separate things into overt, covert, and clandestine. Public: What you show to the public without any attempt to anonymous yourself shows what kind of upbringing/family/neighbors/work culture you have. It tells me what you're fine with mom or your boss seeing, not what you actually believe. Covert: Publicly known, private or semi private identity i.e. reddit accounts, vtubers, bloggers who use pen names. People are more their real selves, but it may be skewed towards what brings them online. Mo… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 08:40 PM |
| 5 | Male desperation is what reinforces and in many cases, creates female delusion in the dating worldIf you went on grindr and got lots of attention from other men would you take that to mean you’re high value? I've done this as an experiment and it was great. I don't care about the standards of someone who is sexually attracted to me, for the same reason a restaurant doesn't get insecure about a customer being hungry. If they want what I have I'm not going to complain. Attention from people who give it out for almost nothing is still validation for me. If anything, it's even more validating si… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:57 PM |
| 2 | Men aren't approaching women due to a lack of social skills, merely because they are taught not to.Did boys n girls not go to school together? People sit at separate tables at lunch, you can't talk in class. Clubs together? Camps? Social events? Boys and girls have different interests if the clubs aren't explicitly segregated in the first place. Also, you don't want to be the guy who "scares off" the only girl in the club by asking her out. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/04/25 01:22 PM |
| 1 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.what they're craving is to desire someone and be desired This is what so many people miss. I remember a left-wing relationship advice columnist called Dr. Nerdlove getting into "you don't actually want sex you want validation" style analysis, and thinking "Why yes, but sexual validation is something nothing else can replace." I've had plenty of friends over the years, many different life experiences and hobbies (I'm getting into rollerskating after I recovery from a minor surgery). But you know … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/25 12:58 AM |
| 2 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.We call it lonely because men's sexuality is incredibly demonized. If anything, it feels like there's an enormous pressure for men to essentially live asexual lifestyles and ignore their identities and instincts. A therapist could easily say to a sexless client "I think you should try making friends. There's more to life than sex." but I don't see a therapist saying "Ditch your friends and get laid. There's more to life than bowling and board games." There's the idea that sex and romance doesn't… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 10/04/25 12:27 AM |
| 2 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.Why is anger off the deep end unacceptable? If anger isn't dangerous there's nothing to avoid. Please show me how anger is socially acceptable in men, and other emotions are not. Male anger terrifies people. Male sadness does not. Nobody is going to call the police on a man who is really happy. Special needs parents don't fear their son being unable to control his pride in front of a cop. I get the whole "men suppress every emotion but anger" meme, but please, it is 100% untrue. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 11:42 PM |
| 3 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.What's wrong with a wrathful man directing his anger at you if it's a socially acceptable emotion? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 06:14 PM |
| 4 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.Powerful people live by different rules. Where does the everyday man get to be angry and seen as praised or accepted? When you see an angry man coming towards you down the sidewalk (not directly threatening, just expressions of anger), are you in awe of his masculinity, or afraid for your safety? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 01:30 PM |
| 5 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.What does this even mean? Of course uncontrolled things are bad. What exactly do you mean by anger being socially acceptable? Angry men are demonized and feared as uncontrollable. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 09/04/25 04:46 AM |
| 7 | If you're 'lonely' purely due to a lack of sex, you're not 'lonely', you're just horny.How is anger emotionally acceptable in men? People are terrified of male aggression and rage. It's one of the least acceptable male emotions. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 08/04/25 01:26 AM |
| 1 | I noticed accusing someone of weaponizing their oppression is only consider ok when the topic is about how women have it worse on the left.Women are still allowed to withdraw from consent, six months after sex wtf Why do you describe it this way? People aren't allowed to retroactively revoke consent. If someone falsely reports rape, then they're lying about what happened. They're not saying "Oh I had this consensual encounter but I get to decide it was rape." If someone invites another person to their house, then claims it was burglary, that's not because they're allowed to withdraw permission to enter the house months later. That'… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/25 09:15 PM |
| 6 | "Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So, each is inevitably disappointed." How can this quote apply to modern relationships and dating, and what is the solution if the problem actually exists?In my limited experience as a man this is untrue. I dated for potential and was raised to give people a chance, so I don't think it's gendered. Still, I learned the hard way that while you can support someone on their journey, you don't have to date them while they do. Otherwise, you're not really dating them, but dating a fantasy version of them and trying to suppress the disconnect, while robbing them of the opportunity to have someone who likes them as they are. If someone needs to be employe… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 07/04/25 05:54 PM |
| 15 | My quick look and thoughts about the study ‘I’m a red-blooded male’: Understanding men’s experiences of domestic abuse through a feminist lenstaps sign I guess it turns out that men aren't actually socially conditioned to be violent and aggressive after all, and that if anything male violence is actually one of the greatest taboos. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 07/04/25 12:43 PM |
| 3 | If you think there's a problem with the modern dating scene, what do you think the end goal looks like?My ideal endgame is unrealistic but you asked. Everyone can reliably get dates and relationships if they want. I want everyone to say on Monday "I will get a date by Friday night." and be correct. I want singlehood to truly be a lifestyle choice, where everyone who is single is so because they are turning down good candidates who approached them. I want people to be able to "get a girlfriend/boyfriend" like they'd watch a few tutorials and buy a pair of brushes to "get painting". All the abusive… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 08:41 PM |
| 3 | If you think there's a problem with the modern dating scene, what do you think the end goal looks like?But how does this work on the micro level? Where is the link between paternity leave and, for example, women being more receptive to being asked out, or men getting higher match rates? The way I see things there's a fundamental mismatch in what men and women want, and I don't see how infrastructure investment solves this. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 08:11 PM |
| 9 | Men embrace redpill because mainstream advice is dogshitWomen are told to be fun, exciting, docile, agreeable, feminine, flirty, submissive, and a whole host of other things to not only get a man's attention but to also retain it. I understand these might make things more attractive to a lot of men, but the point is that these things aren't often necessary. I see plenty of women's profile pictures on dating apps where they just stare blankly into a mirror selfie and don't have a bio. I simply do not believe that an otherwise attractive 20-something w… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 05:33 PM |
| 15 | Men embrace redpill because mainstream advice is dogshitmost women just want a decent guy who can take care of himself and treats them like a human being. This is literally what OP is complaining about: that if a man struggles in dating he must be someone who doesn't take care of himself or treat women like people. If sexual attraction in either sex selected for decency then domestic violence, date rape, and so on would be a minor problem in society. It's major. Date rape wouldn't occur if rapists couldn't get dates, and abusive relationships wouldn'… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 04:35 PM |
| 2 | The Overabundance of Male Validation Has Made Us DisposableI get that money makes it easier to date, but how does the economic argument explain dating app performance? The cost to entry is essentially 0, so if men and women couldn't easily meet because of living conditions, why do dating apps fail so many people? | /r/PurplePillDebate | 06/04/25 04:18 PM |
| 4 | Q4M: Would you date someone who fetishizes you? Why or why not?This is literally the reason why the yandere trope exists in anime and manga. Most men have no experience of being creeped or preyed upom, so the idea of a sexually obssessed, violent person who chases us no matter what is a safe and appealing fantasy. Safe, because such a person is obviously fictional to us and doesn't dredge up real life experiences. In a world where most men don't get asked out, the idea of a woman stalking us feels as fictional as a fairytale monster. Appealing, because when… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 04:58 AM |
| 0 | Q4M: Would you date someone who fetishizes you? Why or why not?I'd be fine with it. Being someone's fantasy is kind of my dream. I find a lot of comfort in the idea that even just a part of me is enough for someone, and that all the other stuff I have is a bonus. It's empowering that I don't have to be the complete package to be interesting. Even if the fetish is kind of offensive (like she wants a disabled man to take care of), I could be fine as long as a fine line between fantasy and reality is drawn. I'd hate to actually be patronized like that, but if … | /r/PurplePillDebate | 04/04/25 04:43 AM |
| 8 | I noticed accusing someone of weaponizing their oppression is only consider ok when the topic is about how women have it worse on the left.The way intersectionality was always pitched to me was something like this. A black woman is asked whether it's worse being a woman or black. The woman says it's not the right question. She experiences sexism in ways white women don't and racism in ways that black men don't. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/04/25 10:59 PM |
| 3 | What do we think of Starmer asking for adolescence to be shown in schools?Terrible idea. I'll admit I haven't seen Adolescence yet but I resent it when a piece of fiction becomes the centerpiece media for an issue rather than a documentary, real life case studies, or journalistic work. Using fictional stories rather than real life is inherently misleading because, well, they're fake. It's sort of like when people cite 1984 in political discussions. Yes, art can have meaning, but I like discussions grounded in reality rather than "This is just like >made up thing<." | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 03/04/25 10:55 PM |
| 7 | If a guy wants NSA sex he has to go to where NSA sex issome niche kink community lol A vanilla wrote this, because I can tell you the kink community is even more standoffish and averse to casual sex than the mainstream. Even creepier behavior from some men. Lots of men think "kink" means "low standards", or "will do whatever I say", without establishing a dynamic first. Even more transactional behavior from some women. People will demand money for you to even message them. FetLife, the largest online space for kink, is more of a community event post… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 31/03/25 03:06 PM |
| 10 | Using “incel” as an insult is immoral and obnoxious.Talk about collateral damage. Shaming someone for using reproductive healthcare is a new low. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 11:05 PM |
| 16 | Using “incel” as an insult is immoral and obnoxious.The best part about the whole "incel" insult is that now it's even being used to describe men who are quite romantically successful with right-wing beliefs. Elon Musk, father of 14 kids across 4 women? Incel. Like yes, I get it. Elon's reputation has seriously taken a hit over the past decade, but "incel" is literally the last thing in the world it makes sense to call him if you don't like him. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 06:48 PM |
| 17 | There is no good Bluepill Dating Manual.What kind of attitude is this? People want to learn and self-improve, actually put in work and research to get what they want. They need help and resources. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:41 PM |
| 9 | There is no good Bluepill Dating Manual.This is the way to completely lose the culture and political influence. If you want to win hearts and minds you need to address people's problems. Even a good faith effort is better than just giving up and completely ceding the issue to your opponents. "Voters want a decisive leader who can fix the economy." "Sorry, economics is complicated and we're not here to make you rich." is not a winning answer. "Voters want someone who will advocate for better childcare, parental leave, and safer, more p… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 06:38 PM |
| 29 | Using “incel” as an insult is immoral and obnoxious.Male loneliness becoming a far-right-coded issue is probably one of the worst public relations strategies in a while. It's basically the Fox News Fallacy (i.e. the idea that if right-wingers are upset, then it means the issue they're complaining about either doesn't exist or is a good thing) but for a whole half of the population. It's also a really insidious psychological trick of sorts, because it allows people to use what would otherwise be a really regressive insult ("You're a sexless man.")… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 05:09 PM |
| – | How is it finding a therapist for you?I'm currently in a lawsuit and they're not lawyers, they can't really give dating advice as I'm trying to find a partner, etc. They just don't have the specialties to actually help with the things I'm stressed out about. I just use them as someone to dump stress on other than my family, since my family have their own things to care about. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:25 PM |
| – | How is it finding a therapist for you?One of the first therapists wanted me to forgive my rapist. This is before any criminal or civil justice was done at all. Fuck that. The others really haven't been helpful. A lot of my problems are external and can't be solved by a therapist. I'm suing my rapist but therapists aren't lawyers. I'm trying to have a sex life but therapists aren't romantic partners. I want to move out of the house but therapists really can't do that either. I don't really think therapy is worth it. It honestly inter… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 03:20 PM |
| – | How is it finding a therapist for you?My therapist is a good person, but fundamentally I don't feel she can really relate to my problems. I also like concrete solutions to solve my problems. I don't like to just "cope". The other ones I've had were counterproductive or I could only see them for a short time. I also went to a psychiatrist and the meds she gave me didn't work and had side effects. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 30/03/25 02:41 PM |
| 3 | Men aren't actually taught to be aggressive and violent.What do you mean being taught by women? I can understand some women being attracted to aggression, but I don't think it's a lot of women, and when would it kick in? Most people aren't even allowed to date until they are in their early/mid teens. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 02:14 PM |
| 75 | Using “incel” as an insult is immoral and obnoxious.For me the main problem is that "incel" has become synonymous with "misogynist", but hating women is A. not something all incels do. B. if someone hates women, you can just say that. There's no need to say "You hate women AND you can't get sex." or somehow make some weird karmic-justice connection between being a good person and having a good sex life. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 02:12 AM |
| 3 | Men aren't actually taught to be aggressive and violent.I do think there are some situations when men are more likely to yell and slam things and women are more likely to break down and cry. It would be interesting to unpack those. Oh, certainly, I do think there's definitely a gendered difference in how men and women react to their breaking points, but I think that kind of impulsive aggression is more of a personality or biological thing than a social thing. I've clenched my fists sometimes when extremely angry, but consciously it was something I've… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 12:56 AM |
| 16 | Men aren't actually taught to be aggressive and violent.Thank you for the take. This is another reason why I'm extremely skeptical of the whole "toxic masculinity" idea. I can accept the idea that certain subcultures of men or people are taught to be violent or aggressive, or that certain families raise their sons to be violent, or at least don't care about it. However, the "toxic masculinity" idea makes it seem as though it's something about men as a whole. It overshoots the scale of the problem. Even as a special needs student going to a school for… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 30/03/25 12:45 AM |
| – | The real reason behind the male loneliness epidemic is that there are more happily single women than menI don't need close male friends. I want romance. Platonic male companionship simply isn't an instinctual need. | /r/PurplePillDebate | 28/03/25 03:24 AM |
| 13 | The Vanishing White Male WriterI knew that the yaoi/boys love genre was irritating to some gay men but I'm interested to know your specific reasons why. I've heard one reason is that straight people assume that gay/lesbian relationships must have a clear top/bottom, dom/sub dynamic like straight ones. I.e. someone must be "the guy" of the relationship. | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 24/03/25 09:46 PM |
| 6 | Submissive men and dominant womenThere has never been anything close to a "femdom" equivalent of that, though I see no reason why there couldn't be. I think the reason why is because of two reasons. Femdom is more transgressive to normal society than maledom, and there's a serious disconnect between what a lot of dominant women and submissive men actually want. For the first point, 50 Shades of Grey touches the mainstream because most heterosexual relationships are already a subtle form of maledom. Maybe the guy is only a few y… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/25 11:47 PM |
| 1 | Submissive men and dominant womenAmong vanilla people, there's the usual stigma against kink in general. Even my more liberal-minded friends and relatives have a 2000s-era "We don't hate you let's just not talk about it okay?" attitude towards sexuality if kink is involved. Femdom in particular is seen as a very pornographic relationship dynamic where people are going to project a lot of things onto it. My personal experiences with kink/BDSM are that dominant women and submissive men want different things, hence even among kink… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 21/03/25 11:22 PM |
| – | When a conventionally unattractive woman low-key brags about her hedonistic sex life, how to rationalize it?But…why is this upsetting you? I see sad gross people on social media and just scroll past it. What about this is personally upsetting to you? There's the idea that men are unsuccessful at dating because it's our fault, or that there's some simple fix (i.e. no bathroom selfies, use unique opening messages) that we refuse to implement, the bar is on the floor, so many men put no effort etc. There's the idea that men who think gender dynamics contribute to this are just whining, making excuses, be… | /r/PurplePillDebate | 11/03/25 12:46 PM |
| 4 | "Not all men, but always a man"I won't talk about that as much, since I feel the "don't hit people" is more universal. There's this liberal/progressive idea that men are socialized to be violent but I don't see this anywhere in real life. My old special ed school had a "crisis team" that would restrain kids if they raised their voice, let alone actually hurt anyone. Where is all this social conditioning that it's okay to use violence because I'm a man supposed to come from? | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/25 05:31 PM |
| 30 | "Not all men, but always a man"I am a male rape victim who is currently drafting a post on how it's a myth that men are safer from rape because of our "physical advantages", and if you want an appetizer, one of my main arguments is the idea that the legendary "male upper body strength" simply isn't relevant when defending yourself from rape a lot of the time, because with violent crime comes a lot of uncertainty about fear of escalation. Like, sure, maybe you can win against the person sexually assaulting you in a hand to han… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/25 12:45 AM |
| 19 | "Not all men, but always a man"Well who set that system up This is something that really irritates me, because even if some groups of people benefit from historical privilege, we experience life as individuals. Individuals with historically-relevant identities, sure, but it's not like every man gets a seat at the Council of Men who all get to decide the exact rules of a male-dominated society. Yes, I as a man may be taken more seriously at work than if I was a woman, but I didn't set that system up. I was born into it, with n… | /r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates | 08/03/25 12:33 AM |
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