I thought I found an article actually addressing male sexlessness from a progressive perspective, only to get more shaming and the same cliche tropes.

I saw this making the rounds today and I thought it'd be amazing https://iandunt.substack.com/p/how-to-be-a-man-4ae

It's just more of the "be put together" and "treat women like people", as if there aren't millions of men with put together lives who treat women just fine.

The single most important masculine trait you can have is competence. 
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There is the low-level daily type of competence: sorting the transport from the airport on holiday, dealing with the admin, booking where to eat, handling the insurance claim, making sure that damp problem in your hallway doesn't run out of control, clocking the bicycle that's going too fast and might hit someone you're with - taking care of the interminable daily chaff of life. This stuff is unimaginably boring, but it makes the people you're with feel protected.

"Dating advice that is actually relationship advice." for 500, please. The problem with single men isn't that our hallways are damp, or that we can't figure out a restaurant booking app. It's that we don't have anyone to come visit or go out with.

I really hate it when people project problems in existing relationships onto lonely people; stuff like "sorting the transport from the airport on holiday" is relationship and family stuff. Yes, if you can't handle the logistics of a family vacation that can strain a marriage. Yes, if you have a long-distance relationship then screwing up Christmas is going to hurt, but...that's just not where the problem is. Your average guy who's never been kissed by anyone other than his mom is not losing women because of his amateur holiday planning. He's just not getting dates at all.

Also "Handling the insurance claim" WTF are you married? This has absolutely nothing to do with dating. Like sure, rizz 'em with that big deductible.

Then there is the high-level professional type of competence: being good at whatever it is you have decided you want to do with your life, working hard to perfect the skills you possess, showing the discipline and work-ethic to accomplish it.

This is basically just "Get a job and hobby." with the addition of "Be good at it too."

Many men do have hobbies, it's just that they're stigmatized or have almost no women. Men are good at video games and we can love a good manga or comic book, it's just that women are often uninterested or repulsed at that kind of stuff. Just yesterday I was planning an air raid package in Command: Modern Operations, but I highly doubt women are going to be turned on by the intricacies of air-to-air tanker refueling or the tradeoffs of infrared versus semi-active-radar guidance.

As for work-ethic, growing up I was told "Don't focus on women. Focus on your grades/career!" I got the grades and I have the career, believe me, and I also have nobody.

The best part is that even having these things doesn't solve the dating problem. You could be the best plumber in the world, but how is that going to help you on Tinder? How can you demonstrate "work-ethic" to some random person in public you'd like to approach? Okay, you're an honors student in college. What exactly does that matter to the hottie at the bar?

The best possible advice you can give to someone who is trying and failing to get this attention is to stop trying. If you run towards it, it will take a step away from you. If you turn your back on it, you will find it there in front of you

Another entry in the "Trying to be attractive to women is unattractive. Maybe you'd start dating if you stopped trying to date." nonsense.

It's almost like men (and people in general) want to achieve goals rather than just wait for life to pass us by. I've been "waiting when I least expect it" and other trite for years, and guess what? Doing nothing means getting nothing. This is especially true in dating. Even in employment, there have been times when I've gotten lucky because a friend or family member happened to know someone who knew someone who gave me an interview.

On the other hand, women essentially never approach men. You absolutely have to do it yourself. I wish it was otherwise but men 100% have to put in active effort to strategically and consistently seek out romance and sex or else we will not get it.

If you have a female friend on a dating site, ask her to do you a favour. Ask to see her inbox. It will be a highly revealing experience. There will be a lot of 'hey u ok?' There will be many obsequious introductions followed by suddenly aggressive responses if the woman doesn't reply. There will, of course, be unsolicited dick pics - less an appeal for approval than an attempted violation.
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Men's treatment of women like objects isn't just about sexualisation - it's about making them into opaque things, objects of haunting indecipherable mystery which we cannot understand or therefore empathise with. That is where so many of our current problems come from - the chasm of incomprehension and the snarling vicious myths about status and power which are cultivated within it.
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This is one of the great privileges of being a man.

"We need to appeal more to men...let's have them consider how hard women have it."

Now consider how little warmth, humour and human authenticity it would take to stand out among these men.
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There is a technique to talking to women which is far more effective. It is called: treat them like a fucking human being. Just actually talk to them. If you must, imagine that they are a man and then talk to them the way you would in that scenario. You will find that your status, if this is the key variable we're worrying about, has massively increased.
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Treating women like they are actual human beings will make you more attractive. It will also give you a richer, deeper life. 

And that's bingo with "Just be a decent person!", as if lonely people are losers with no social skills or lustful bigots who disrespect women.

I say this as an almost 30-year old virgin. Yes, I do in fact treat women like people. As customers/clients, coworkers, bosses, family members and even friends I do in fact treat them like human beings. My life is very social, but it's not sexual.

If anything, the problem with a lot of men is precisely the opposite: men buy books and fall for pickup artist scams on how to flirt with women precisely because we spend so much of our emotional energy (dare I say labor) making sure women feel safe, making our sexuality as suppressed as possible for fear of appearing threatening. The average lonely guy isn't some raging misogynist, but someone who doesn't know how to be sexual.

Yes, there are men that send dick pics or whose opening line is just "sup", but for every one of those guys, how many men look at a hot woman and feel guilty they even looked at her? For every creep who can't take "No." for an answer, how many men are too shy, insecure, scared, or ashamed of themselves to even ask?