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cvntcvntcvnt Archive

View 11 posts and 214 comments by cvntcvntcvnt on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

As far as I know, there’s no consensus in the psychological literature. We basically have no idea. Some studies are done to see who has the best results with dating and stuff, but there’s no explanatory mechanism that’s clear, which is why RP type shit comes out of the woodwork to make complex shit simple, but that requires one’s own biases to take over
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:47 PM
2

Your family sounds like they suck. Get away from them either physically or emotionally. Find an adult that can support you and teach you how to be a good person (therapists). Also try interacting with the real world and real people. Slowly you’ll learn that beta is a retarded concept and means nothing, but you’ll only learn this if you act against your beliefs first.
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:42 PM
1

Nice guy depends on who says it. Your confusion is warranted. For most men that use it, they often refer to nice guys as men who portray supposedly weak and insecure parts which they see is within themselves, of which they try to shame themselves out of. For women that use it, they often refer to nice guys as men who like them but they don’t like the men AND the men are hurt by this fact and try to change the woman’s opinion of them through manipulation, rather than threatening them or just acce…
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:39 PM
5

What’s worked for me was joining whatever groups or shit you’re interested in regardless of women being around, and getting a dating app where you advertise how well put together your life is and using the hobbies/groups as indicators that you’re a cool guy. If you’re just in a group to fuck girls, they’ll notice that shit miles away. You sound pretty well put together tbh and there are girls out there who will automatically say yes to a date with you ALREADY, so just put yourself out there and …
/r/ExRedPill21/02/23 06:29 PM
1

I wrote this a while ago so you’re probably right. In fact you are right. I was very angry back then. What’s your story? Are you a red piller?
/r/ExRedPill29/01/22 03:25 PM
2

Will DM you
/r/ExRedPill13/12/21 09:45 PM
1

Thank you, you as well
/r/ExRedPill01/06/21 04:18 AM
2

Thank you very much. Love to ourselves is the long term project, forever and always. Good luck to you as well.
/r/ExRedPill01/06/21 04:04 AM
3

Agreed. Some TRP guys can say some useful advice AND they can still be misguided and wrong in all the ways you feel. If you’re absolutist in the way of “they gotta be 100% wrong “, you’ll end up back in TRP guaranteed. Put down the laptop, take a breath, and look around.
/r/ExRedPill15/05/21 03:35 PM
2

For sure, the game CAN BE rigged because of both sides. It’s a tough one because both sides think they have more to lose if they don’t play, so they’d rather continue a shitty system than risk being alone, even though if they’d stick it out, they’d probs be happier in the long run. The people who are really settling are the ones who still play the game. The best thing you can do is find someone who also doesn’t want to play the game. When you find such a person, hold on!
/r/ExRedPill15/05/21 03:29 PM
1

Yeah it’s an interesting phenomenon. I imagine that in real life, these guys are super docile and harmless, and then online they go crazy with all their anger and resentment. Your observation of the fake validation works in the same way I think. It’s a type of lack of integration with themselves I think. There are parts of themselves that they hide in the real world out of some fear of punishment (probs coming from childhood). And instead of trying to make sense of that fear, they show those par…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/21 03:42 PM
4

Yeah maybe a lot of people here have kooky absolutist beliefs (feminist, etc). All I can say is that I try to be non-dogmatic (and fail often!). And ok I don’t “have to” criticize TRP and deny it’s results. Sure. I will continue to do so though. Sorry. Just like you can’t remain silent on how feminist exRP is, I similarly can’t remain silent on TRP.
/r/ExRedPill13/05/21 03:29 PM
2

Bookmarked. Some good stuff here.
/r/ExRedPill13/05/21 03:14 PM
7

A few problems: You say TRP works, but you give no examples as to how it does and instead talk about how you stumbled upon Jordan Peterson and he helped you. Listen, it’s cool that you were in a bad situation and now feel better. Anyone who invalidates the progress of someone else is projecting their insecurity, all the way. Anyways, to answer your question: we’re in this subreddit because the red pill fucked us up. It did not work for us. And the point of this subreddit is to be a support group…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/21 03:12 PM
5

You say you’re in love with her and you care for her and everything. Are you gonna let the RP thoughts prevent you from having that? Realize that there’s nothing that you have to prove. In my opinion, the RP part of you/me has actually nothing to give you/me. It tells me that it does, it says “you gotta listen”, etc. RP is attached to us because it says that it’ll protect us. Protect us from what though? You can’t let go of something that you secretly think is super helpful to you. Reflect on wh…
/r/ExRedPill13/05/21 02:59 PM
1

Complicated. Bad stuff does happen to good people, that's totally a thing. You can be doing everything well, and then you get hit by a car. At the same time, there are some people out there who have bad things keep happening to them. And also at the same time, they don't have many friendships or connections with others or even a job. And at the same time, they're super depressed and anxious. Absolutely, early experiences influence later life trajectories. And AT THE SAME TIME, people frequently …
/r/ExRedPill12/05/21 04:45 AM
21

Yup. Also think of a concept like "All Women Are Like That". Like, I don't give a fuck about AAAANNNNYYYTHING you have to say defending that. That claim is so obviously wrong that if you find yourself believing something like that, that should be the *greatest* of all red flags ever ever to yourself.
/r/ExRedPill12/05/21 04:38 AM
1

Classic demand curves. Divorce is less costly so it’ll happen more. Also the people who are likely to divorce are likely to divorce again and again and that skews the percentage. Lots of people out there who get together and stay together!
/r/ExRedPill12/05/21 03:42 AM
1

Therapy
/r/ExRedPill12/05/21 03:40 AM
1

True facts. As I get older, I’m learning more and more that sadness, depression, etc all have a self protective and even pleasurable part of them. Pretty nuts. (At least one my case!)
/r/ExRedPill11/05/21 07:47 PM
9

Great find. I feel like the slam dunk Vaush had was asking if the guy had friends, and he said that he didn’t have any. I think that’s demonstrative of many TRPers and indicative of waaaaay deeper problems. Like 90%+ of cases, there’s something much deeper goin gin in these men’s lives. Vid came out a year ago, hope that guy is doing well
/r/ExRedPill30/04/21 02:56 AM
2

love you
/r/ExRedPill28/04/21 03:44 AM
1

I don’t see the contradiction. Also the claim that it seems to work I’ve talked about it before, as well as many others on this sub. I feel like a one on one convo would be better for this, feel free to dm me
/r/ExRedPill17/04/21 05:26 PM
1

It’s anxious and secures that get taken fast, and avoidants stay single. If you want my thoughts on RP check my other posts in the sub 👍 lmk if any q’s
/r/ExRedPill17/04/21 04:23 PM
1

It’s not majority in total, but rather avoidants are over represented in dating pools. I got it in the book I referenced, pls read closely
/r/ExRedPill17/04/21 04:05 PM
4

Thanks a lot for the reply!
/r/ExRedPill14/04/21 01:01 AM
4

Complicated. On the one hand, they hate other men because they are the ones who are fucking themselves (the RP man) over. RP men blame other men for their loneliness, etc. On the other hand, other men provide guidance and goals. A RP man wants to be like those men, even though a part of him hates them. So the RP man has to become someone he despises. Pretty amazing tbh. Like watching a cargo plane crash into a mountain.
/r/ExRedPill13/04/21 11:11 PM
1

You're correct that everyone likes confidence. The issue is that there's the fundamental belief in RP men that whatever a confident man is, it is not themselves. Women hold the keys to worth and happiness, AND they're gonna give attention to anyone but them. The result is a super confusing conception of the world. So then they see other men and try to understand "what has this guy get girls?" Because of the previous confusion, this finding is seen as enlightening. Doesn't change anything though,…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/21 11:00 PM
3

So I think you're literally right in saying that the poor social skills is a driver for RP membership, but I see poor social skills as itself another symptom. You say: You have to practice socializing to get better at it. It's a skill just like any other skill. Improving skills takes practice. Improving skills means failing sometimes and learning from it. Recently, I've been asking myself "But why have I been preventing myself from learning good social skills for so long in my life?" I've been t…
/r/ExRedPill13/04/21 07:01 PM
5

We recommend therapy because with a lot of posts here, it’s clear that the individual is not dealing with just “help, I heard some weird beliefs, can y’all help me disprove them” and rather it’s “I’ve been lonely all my life, will anyone ever have sex with me? I think I’m hating women”. They show clear psychological issues with either their analysis or coping of reality, which was NOT a problem that the red pill gave them. And because of that, it’s useless to try to help through the internet and…
/r/ExRedPill03/04/21 03:27 PM
1

Look up some videos or other info about it and see if you relate
/r/ExRedPill20/03/21 04:12 PM
1

Projection.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/21 03:56 PM
2

The ideal RP man was someone I didn’t respect or want to become. Went against my values.
/r/ExRedPill20/03/21 03:56 PM
1

Do your emotions change dramatically in the span of 5 minutes depending on how people act? Does your view of people go from all good (perfect caretaker) to all bad (abandoner, abuser)? Are you afraid that you’re gonna become a completely different person in the future (emotionally speaking) and hurt those around you? Is your view of reality and emotions drastically different and disconnected between time? If yes to most of these, that’s borderline personality disorder. If I’m right then you’re i…
/r/ExRedPill20/03/21 03:54 PM
2

A hard pill to swallow. I find myself having to take it everyday
/r/ExRedPill19/03/21 03:08 PM
10

Worst thing I learned was that my insecurities were valid and that love was a farce. The best thing I learned was how miserable my life would be if I followed that.
/r/ExRedPill05/03/21 06:00 AM
14

Absolutely, I agree 100%. TRP is a symptom, not the sickness itself. What's really helped me was meditation + buddhism + ACT/DBT. They key things I get out of it is that a) nothing has to be fixed and b) acceptance of the past and the present. Obviously, everyone has their own journey, this one is mine.
/r/ExRedPill03/03/21 08:59 PM
3

TRUE. A turning point between me and my girlfriend was when, after a long conversation of insecurity and pain, I asked her directly "You find me unattractive. True or false." And she said "False". And it didn't change how I felt. I didn't believe her. And when I saw that, it basically changed everything. There've been a few times where she told me "I've been trying and trying to show you that I love you, and you think that I'm not". Breaks my heart to think about it now. But once I've had that p…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/21 08:40 PM
3

Yeah it's a pretty fascinating phenomenon. I think the cause comes from many of these men being inclined to look for information on the internet (the media) rather than in real life. Since a lot of crazies are on the internet anyways, the person that looks for "how it all works" online is gonna receive one fucked up world view, on top of whatever insecurity and pain they're already dealing with. What's crazy too is how contradictory it all is. You can switch between two opposite value systems in…
/r/ExRedPill03/03/21 08:29 PM
2

Male insecurity echo chambers with members that have a low tolerance for ambiguity and have an inclination toward rule making/following. (cough cough myself....from before. improving one step at a time babyyyyyy)
/r/ExRedPill02/03/21 09:13 PM
7

Be careful with what you're doing right now. THe thought process of "I am a wasted vessel that had potential" is the same thought process that got you into TRP. Each day is a day that you can express and fulfill your talents. The only thing we can ever control is the present. Are you going to use the moments you have access to right now to make something better of yourself and the world? The choice is always yours, and you always have the power to answer: "Yes".
/r/ExRedPill02/03/21 08:35 PM
3

This is good. I like this.
/r/ExRedPill02/03/21 08:31 PM
2

Yeah it's an interesting phenomenon. Seems to me that psychologically, movements like TRP, Nazism, etc are very similar in that they are belief systems based around weakness. Starving populations are prone to fascism, and I guess lonely men (lot of them boys) starving from lack of connection are prone to TRP??? Something like that.
/r/ExRedPill02/03/21 08:30 PM
14

gasp missed the drama. Please someone share those juicy links! Not surprising though. TRP treats it's own members as disposable and stupid (ironically how they think women see them, double gasp) and given that they literally praise people who do power games and try to get to the top ruthlessly, it's obvious that this would've happened. TRP will forever be a group of "one" for whoever joins. Instead of "she doesn't love you, it's just your turn", it's "they don't value you for who you are, they j…
/r/ExRedPill01/03/21 05:04 PM
2

TRP theories are a red herring. Focus less on the theories and the “why did this happen” and instead connect with the hurt you experience. Our brains will say “no fuck that, i gotta figure it out before anything else otherwise it’ll happen again”. Let that go for a while. Focus on the hurt. See what’s happened to you. Turn towards yourself with compassion. Only once we accept what happened and ourselves fully can we take the next step. I wish you luck.
/r/ExRedPill28/02/21 09:17 PM
15

Because that satisfies their insecurity of "having most 'beautiful' women = worth". Tbh I wouldn't doubt if they did it JUST to get validation from other males (imagined validation or otherwise). Hot girlfriend = "woah you must be a good person"
/r/ExRedPill26/02/21 09:44 PM
3

If it read like I was saying you should just ignore what’s going on, I apologize. That’s definitely not the way to go. This comment is real big and there’s too much to say and I doubt Reddit comments are good ways to solve people’s problems. So all I’ll say: It’s up to you now to understand why you feel the way you feel and think the way you think. Understand how you got here. Understand where you want to go. Understand why you want to go there, and what’s been preventing you. Notice the pull to…
/r/ExRedPill25/02/21 06:45 PM
5

But let me ask you something, what if she was lying? And then you say: Try reasoning against this within the mind of someone like me. I mean I know it is wrong but only in a lose no skin in the game kinda way, but my lived experiences don't do much to counter this. Do you see the connection here? Do you see why arguing against it won't work? This isn't me being mean, I swear. You're suffering and it's shitty and I got all that. But OK, the problem isn't the world here, man. Here's the problem: s…
/r/ExRedPill25/02/21 04:44 PM
7

hahaha never heard them talk about this but I'd get why they'd believe it's bad. They don't like it because they're fundamentally insecure and think every woman will leave them if they don't perfectly act like an "alpha". And fact of the matter is that the particular alpha that they all idealize is not the type of guy who gets that sweet sweet prostate stimulated.
/r/ExRedPill23/02/21 08:49 PM
3

TRP is basically “I’ve let go of my passion and instead just started following the money” but for relationships. Eventually they (hopefully most) will realize that even if they do get sex, they’re not gonna be filled up. They’re doing a favor for you as a woman. You have your finger on the pulse of many men’s motivations and now you can find the right guy for you.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 07:38 PM
3

You want to stop because it hurts you. But there’s something keeping you on. You gotta figure out why. What is it giving you? Some security or way of understanding yourself? We don’t do things for no reason so sit down and try to understand wtf is going on. Also STOP. You can’t learn if you keep on digging and digging. Drop the shovel and find another way to get out of your hole. Look at your experience, has this method worked in taking you out?
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 07:32 PM
6

Haha true. Contrary to public opinion, debate doesn't really work (at least in my experience, maybe I'm a bad debater lol). You can only change people's minds when they are ready to let them be changed. I've noticed in others and myself that that usually only happens when people start to live their lives according to their philosophies and then see the results.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 04:29 PM
14

All I see is a group of guys who are using studies to justify their insecurities. Is there more to it? No. They think they've arrived at the truth, but it's insecurity all the way down. TRP is the same.
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 03:53 PM
3

Yup. The whole "it's just your turn" shit
/r/ExRedPill22/02/21 03:52 PM
3

Lead by example and walk with compassion. Usually you can't debate people into changing their mind, despite whatever society tells us. When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Sounds like your friend still has a long way to go. It's his journey. All you can do is be open to when he starts to doubt his ways. If that ever happens, then you can kindly guide him towards a better way.
/r/ExRedPill21/02/21 09:37 PM
2

lololol
/r/ExRedPill17/02/21 05:36 PM
7

Yes sir yes sir. You got a good perspective and you’re learning from experience. Keep doing what you’re doing!
/r/ExRedPill17/02/21 03:31 AM
11

I was big on it when I’m middle of high school and college. I was super lonely and stuff and the idea was that nofap would help me get girls and that porn would ruin my sexy life and make me more lonely and stuff. Turns out that once I got into a relationship and had good social experiences, porn use and even desire has dropped to near zero. Only watched like 3 times in past year. Turns out porn was just a way for me to get some type of connection type feelings and once I got the real thing, nev…
/r/ExRedPill17/02/21 03:30 AM
2

I don’t think you paid attention to what I said. The RP didn’t work for us. You don’t have to accept that, but arguing about it is a waste of YOUR time
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 02:58 PM
1

If your social skills need work, you’re in no place to plan on losing virginity. Small goals all the way, otherwise we stay stuck. You say you’re in a hole. Therapy would be a great first step. Tell them your goals and where you want to be in your life. The work is slow and steady but much more useful and meaningful than if you stay on Reddit looking for answers. Look into acceptance and commitment therapy. There is always hope.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 06:06 AM
3

Not the sub for you, if red pill works in having you have sex with staceys , move along you’re wasting your time here.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 06:03 AM
2

Lead by example and walk with compassion. Your brother is not going to go towards happiness any time soon. I’ve made the issue of trying to fix other people’s lives for them and that takes a huge toll and never really works. It sucks but you have to let go (that’s what I did at least). Only thing you can really do is open the door for him and whether he walks through the door is up to him. Live your life, keep a line of communication open, and be ready to accept him with love when/if he is willi…
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 06:01 AM
2

This is great man, so happy for you. Nothing works better at bringing hope in our lives than other people that go against our preconceptions. The only question is whether we’re willing to open our arms and let the world come in. You’ve made a good choice 🙏🏼😍😍
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 05:57 AM
5

You’re being a dumb dumb here fam. If you’re not ready to tough out having sex with other people while in a MONOGAMOUS relationship, you’re just not there yet my guy. What are you looking for advice on anyway? Are you looking for someone to say “yeah bro, it’s not cheating if emotions aren’t involved”?? You either stay with her and just her, or you let her go and do your own thing. There’s no way around that
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 05:53 AM
1

Nothing. Posts like these pop up every once and a while, we don’t get it either.
/r/ExRedPill16/02/21 05:47 AM
4

Looking at your post history, all of them have to do with this topic. You’re probs in a bad place and that’s ok. You can be sad. You say you want to accept. Has posting on Reddit been helping with that? Most likely not otherwise why would you keep doing it. You probably won’t find what you’re looking for here. Sit down and problem solve. What strategies could get you closer to where you want your life to be? Get out a noteboook and do this. Good luck.
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 03:01 PM
2

Pretty sure everyone believes in leagues and even bleeding heart anti-RP dating coach people can see that. This issue is that TRP use leagues as justification for their insecurities and therefore make it a waaaaaaaay bigger deal than it actually is. Let’s think about it this way: every spiritual and wisdom tradition talks about physical attraction as sort of illusory and someone who fixates on it is making a mistake (same goes for money, power, etc all things that TRP focuses on and strives for!…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:57 PM
2

Try to go with the flow here. I have anxiety issues and that makes me susceptible as you are to small things happening and then being like “that fucking bitch likes me just because of blah blah blah”. Let that voice go for a little while. You tried, she didn’t reciprocate. No big deal. You see her again, and she looks at you. Hey what’s going on there? Maybe you’ve got a chance again, maybe you don’t! Either way you’re good. Things change, new details emerge. Be open and cool to this new informa…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:51 PM
3

In book 7 Principles to Make Marriage Work, they said that majority of infidelity happens because emotional connection suffers. Infidelity doesn’t cause relationship problems/lack of trust/closeness, it’s the other way around!
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:39 PM
2

Totally agree. I always thought that that social skills, meditation, conflict resolution, handling emotion, and all other vital skills for being a human being should be taught in high school. The thing too is that with shit like social skills, you don’t even have to teach anything, just give these kids more chances to go through their anxieties and come out the other side. Their brains would naturally pick up what’s going on. If I would’ve been forced to interact with others more (boys and girls…
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:33 PM
2

Yeah I think this is it. Looking back to my younger self, it’s crazy all the insecurity and fear that was there (still there btw, just more aware now). Having a girlfriend and seeing her perspective now, I can see that women have the same experience. Everyone’s afraid about relationships, and you can’t have a healthy outlook in that context. Everyone (not judging, this includes me) needs to take a massive chill pill. I wonder how much of TRP can be explained with this phenomenon.
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:29 PM
1

Important for them because: High body count for me (a man) = I am very valuable and worthy Low body count for women that like me = I am very valuable and secure to/with her. Simple as that. Also sexual shame they got from parents, religion, etc from childhood
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:19 PM
2

The only people willing to argue about the red pill are red pillers. Nobody else gives a shit. That’s why there seems to be a disparity. Also I think that all these TRPers are secretly insecure in their RP knowledge and want it desperately to be disproven, so that’s why they debate it so furiously. That’s the interpretation I hold at least
/r/ExRedPill12/02/21 02:14 PM
9

So I started to write a response to this, but I changed my mind. Instead: Are you a red piller? Has it helped you? Do you wanna let it go at all? What’s the goal with asking these questions? If you don’t wanna let it go, being here is a waste of time fam. Either you’ll die a RPer or you’ll experience something that changes your view along the way. If the latter happens, then come here.
/r/ExRedPill11/02/21 08:37 PM
7

Bruh you came to us asking for why we left, I gave it to you, now why are you trying to start an argument?? If you believe in TRP, go have sex with Staceys and stop wasting your time here.
/r/ExRedPill11/02/21 08:22 PM
12

Step 1: believe you're unhappy because people don't love you Step 2: Learn about theory that says "here's how you get appreciation from people who don't love you" Step 3: Follow theory Step 4: Despair, loneliness, self-loathing, other-loathing, etc. Step 5: Commit to the downward spiral, or change fundamental beliefs
/r/ExRedPill11/02/21 07:44 PM
2

We can argue all day long fam, there’ll still be doubts. Nothing is ever certain for sure. And yet there’s a part of you that feels that it’s wrong. At a certain point, you gotta let go of trying to be right. No one’ll win at that game. Are you ready to let it go? If you are great. If not, great. But if you’re not ready to let it go, and you still want to, look long and hard as to why. What’s keeping you there? What’s making you want to leave? The path forward isn’t to read more theory and figur…
/r/ExRedPill05/02/21 07:15 PM
3

I agree. As I grow older, I notice more and more that you might’ve learned super important truths and wisdom, but you are powerless over whether others learn from you or not. The only people that will learn from you are the ones who are ready. But you can’t make someone ready or not. That’s out of your control.
/r/ExRedPill05/02/21 07:10 PM
7

lolol moreover reading the comments below, OP is def a TRPer or at least TRP adjacent. Waste of time
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 05:18 PM
3

I can only answer myself but because I grew up in very judgemental and religious household, I’ve had thoughts of “wow, that’s a bad girl”. Not just with certain clothing, but also shit like sexual history and all that. Really hard and brings a lot of pain. Takes constant work to not let it get the better of me and I feel myself letting go, slowly but surely. I imagine many TRPers and MGTOWs have similar backgrounds. What’s fascinating though is the hypocrisy. They’re (I was) ok with themselves h…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 03:01 PM
8

The book Attached talks about dating advice I’m pretty sure, at least for a part of it. One piece of advice was have an abundance mindset which basically means make sure you date multiple people at once that way you don’t get overly attached to one so soon. If you have the habit of catastrophic thinking after a rejection, therapy would probably help you a lot; either by yourself (there are good ACT and DBT books out there, those are my favorite) or with a therapist. You seem proactive and insigh…
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 02:56 PM
2

Exactly. It’s like he’s so close to being self aware, especially by the last two paragraphs. Close but no cigar 😖
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 02:48 PM
2

My guy instead of writing out that blog post, why don’t you fucking tell your wife “hey babe, can you be more considerate when I’m in pain?”. The line between TRP theory blog post and “waaah she doesn’t love me “ seems pretty thin. Not being uncompassionate, just noticing how unnecessary it is. Then again, people usually only give when they feel like it’s safe and just to do so. I imagine that the giving in the Tomassi household isn’t that much of an occurrence, from both wifey AND hubby.
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 02:45 PM
5

It’ll only happen if they have a moment of self awareness. But the hard part is that you can’t really think them or argue them into existence. They can only come if they let go of their judgements and put themselves into new situations. They have the possibility of never being happy because they may not ever see that they’re the cause, you know?
/r/ExRedPill03/02/21 02:37 PM
1

I like this idea. Lmk availability.
/r/ExRedPill02/02/21 05:17 PM
19

Very well put, I agree with everything that you wrote. The fascinating thing is that TRP men look at these old guys as idols (cough cough so did I back in the day). But in being with other healthy people, and in being in a relationship and not just watching porn all day or whatever, it's so obvious that men who say these types of things are not people to look up to, or even to get angry at (as you said). ​ Single 40 YO men like Matt Cross, who call single women over 30 'damaged goods' and the 'v…
/r/ExRedPill02/02/21 05:15 PM
2

Ah ok cool. At least in my experience, these moments, if handled skillfully, can work really well to increase connection and trust. Often intimacy feels really good right after lolol (again, only if handled well!)
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 08:32 PM
2

Yes
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 07:37 PM
6

Really sad. I wonder how many people on TRP that I've read back in the day that, unbeknownst to me because of the anonymity of the internet, were actually like this guy. Moreover, what scares me is how similar what he says reminds me of a certain voice inside myself. Thankfully, it never took over completely. We can only hope that it doesn't for this guy, and all the other TRPers. 😢
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 07:35 PM
11

Drop the idea of shit tests and holding frame. All that does is make you have less trust with someone that you seem to care about, and makes you self-conscious/not yourself. No bueno. Instead do this: When something like this happens and triggers your insecurities, take a deep breath and notice what just happened. Take a moment to see how you feel and the thoughts in your head. If it was something she did or said that set you off, ask her right off the bat "Hey, can you explain to me why you [in…
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 07:30 PM
6

I mean having a nice boost in testosterone always feels pretty good if you're a guy. Definitely not a cure all for anything, but most of those guys are all addicted to porn (not judging; been there, done that) so it's no surprise that they'd feel great after a week or something. Moreover, their feeling great makes them more confident, which makes them feel better and so on.
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 07:16 PM
3

I know basically nothing about RPW, how is it different from TRP?
/r/ExRedPill01/02/21 07:13 PM
3

Hey if it made you happy and not act like an asshole, no problem. Wish you luck.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 10:40 PM
5

How?
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 09:44 PM
7

So true so true. Recently I’ve noticed some major BPD behavior and myself and I noticed all the pain it was causing to my girlfriend. It’s truly eye opening and I can see that my RP phase I had a few years ago was a million percent a symptom of that fear of abandonment, hopelessness, taking everything personally, etc. What’s crazy is the tendency for men with these issues to use women as a) their therapist, and b) their proof of “I am a worthy human being”. So toxic and sad. I hope you and your …
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 08:40 PM
16

2 things I can deny it. Here is me saying “i deny that it works”. “Works” = subjective. If sex with a person ive manipulated is my goal, then yes it works. If my goal is connection and a life well lived and being a good person, it doesn’t work at all.
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 05:03 PM
5

No lie, I’ve been reading every post on this sub for the past 2 weeks ish and damn are these types seeming to be more and more prevalent. Though maybe I’m just paying more attention
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 08:18 AM
6

Proletariat rise up
/r/ExRedPill30/01/21 05:51 AM
8

Even free rp advice is too expensive
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 04:09 PM
3

You beat me there fam, good work
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 04:08 PM
7

But why would I have to give evidence when it just **feels** so right???
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 01:37 AM
3

Lol, is there anything to disprove if there isn't any evidence for the initial claim??? It's all just random theory.
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 01:34 AM
8

The issue IMO is that it's seen as a zero sum game. If there's emotional investment, there's no sex when that's hardcore not how it works at all. Read good papers and research about this. The sex lives of married people in good relationships is waaaaaaay higher than unattached one night standers or whatever. Every time I see anything by TRP, I can only see people justifying their insecurities. Each article is the same. "She's gonna leave you if you don't perform". 🤢🤮 Fuck that tripe
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 01:33 AM
7

Good for you. TRP men have core insecurity and their dream is basically a harem of female sex slaves. We can only hope that they learn from their experiences when they finally find someone who accepts them AND doesn't play their game.
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 01:27 AM
4

You have a right to be upset. He contributed to his own alienation and brought you down with him. Most likely, you understand why and probably have compassion for him. But look at why you're internalizing it. What purpose does believing in those thoughts fulfill for you? Whatever purpose that is, is it a good strategy for living the life you want? Know that there are men who don't believe in all that. This sub is a testament to that. (Also short hair is super sexy. I had no idea that was even a …
/r/ExRedPill29/01/21 01:22 AM
2

Cool idea, very useful.
/r/ExRedPill28/01/21 05:41 PM
3

Yeah an artificial way and a way that doesn’t require you to do anything except increase your hatred for other people
/r/ExRedPill28/01/21 01:57 PM
2

I think the tendency to generalize comes from the dating advice that men have received from the beginning. “What women really want” etc. when we Google this stuff in high school, we never thought “wait a second, people aren’t all the same”. It’s something sooooo obvious and common sense that we forget it. Also it’s easier to forget it when you have unhelpful/unhealthy beliefs about yourself and the world AND you go through events that repeat trauma from childhood (your story about relationships …
/r/ExRedPill28/01/21 01:48 PM
4

A way to feel superior for being part of the in group. Everyone inside is enlightened while everyone outside just hasn’t noticed the obvious truth. Effective way to distance oneself from everyone else and stay in the group.
/r/ExRedPill28/01/21 01:41 PM
1

Uuuhhhhhhh
/r/ExRedPill27/01/21 07:58 PM
2

No lie, when I had that realization, that was the moment I truly left TRP. Not to say some thoughts come up every once and a while, but it totally shifted my POV.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 06:33 PM
8

crying with bae = underated. It's a fine wine lololol
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 06:27 PM
2

The Red Pill preys on insecure men and teaches them how to manipulate insecure women, telling them that it'll make them masculine and attractive and get women to sleep with them. Then they tell you that women are all the same and inferior and can't love unconditionally, so you don't feel guilty for it. Wow! That's a great connection. The TRPers (some of them) finally get what they want: sex with women. And then they go to the forum sad because they aren't fulfilled or even interested in them. So…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 06:25 PM
10

Check out this post I made; very similar to yours (not shamelessly plugging, just adding to convo): https://www.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/k8nuxm/holy_shit_may_have_realized_something_major_about/ TRPers, by trying to figure out strategies to pick up any woman, implicitly reveal the way that they objectify and demoralize themselves. Doesn't matter if she's abusive, mean, toxic, etc. She is a woman, and if she wants to sleep with me, I am a worthy person.
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 06:22 PM
12

I heard Rollo on one of his streams say that men shouldn't cry when their dog dies if their girlfriend is standing next to him because she'll never look at him the same way. It will make him look weak. Terrible. I can't imagine a greater prison. Slowly, I'm coming to believe that these red pill gurus are drenched in anxiety that's hardcore repressed. Mayhaps that's no news to all of you lol
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 03:54 PM
6

Your mind is doing it's job of trying to problem solve. It's looking at problems and thinking and thinking for solutions. But what happens when there actually are no problems? It seems like this is your situation. Are you an anxious person? Do you have spirals like this in other parts of your life? If yes, then I'd recommend finding resources to manage that (I prefer Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, try the book The Happiness Trap). Most of the time, TRP is not the real issue; it's that certai…
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 03:51 PM
3

Do you want money and power just for themselves? What would you do if you had a bunch of money and power?
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 06:36 AM
3

Yo if you really wanna go life on hard mode, try not arguing against it anymore and instead connect with who you want to be as a person. Ask yourself: “if I had all the women, money, status, friends, approval, etc, in the world, what would I do and how would I do it?” Then realize that you can do all of those things right now. Let go of being “right”, and let go of having (I.e. having girls, money, etc) and instead use what you really want to be as your guide. This is the way. If you are ex red …
/r/ExRedPill26/01/21 05:59 AM
11

I feel like a good rule of thumb is think about the type of people (in this case men) that I really gravitated towards and thought "wow they're cool". I can tell you that I do not and have never had that reaction to the ideal RP man.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 09:07 PM
1

So I did mean what i said, but if you think I’m off base, I’m open to hearing your thoughts.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 07:31 PM
5

You’re a proud RPer and yet you’re on this sub. There’s still hope! You don’t have to believe them! You have the freedom to choose!
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 07:26 PM
3

True yeah I'm being too dramatic haha, I like your optimism
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 05:37 PM
4

Totally agree, we are for sure in a better place. It's interesting that when society changes, there seems to always be a part of the population that, for whatever reason, can't or won't keep up and they get left behind. It seems to me that expecting everyone to change and adapt with no guidance is too much to ask. The question is do/should we care at all about those left behind, or let them swallow themselves up on their own resentment? Can anything be done to prevent that suffering?
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 05:19 PM
2

I have faith you understand the point I made with my first comment, so I won't argue or overstate it. I wish you luck.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 05:10 PM
5

It seems to me that TRP (and MGTOW and black pill, etc) seems to be a semi-reaction to the increased equality of society. Who are TRP men? They're guys who want things explained in super simple theories in order to reduce all ambiguity in order to get the love and connection that they crave (following TRP almost always ends up with NOT getting those needs met, paradoxically, but that's a convo for another time). IMO, social roles and stereotypes of "Men are/do XYZ, Women are/do ABC" were of cour…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:58 PM
3

I think this makes sense. I would hope that the majority of men's insecurities by 30 go away, and they equally are comfortable in their skin. Can't imagine a better case scenario than two well put together 30 year olds getting together tbh
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:46 PM
2

lolololol /u/roomspace asked if you were happy, not if you were dating or wealthy The problem is right there my friend
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:40 PM
8

What's funny is that all these TRPers either were always socially conservative deep down, or became socially conservative as a result of TRP. This means that their daughters are most likely being told to marry the first guy they meet in their 20s or something, in order to prevent the supposed natural behavior of women that TRPers hate. Fucking imagine having a child and believing that that child's nature is inherently corrupt or unjust, good fucking god.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:36 PM
2

Everyone. (but I agree, plenty of pain was caused in my relationship from certain beliefs I've had about myself. But in general, that seems to be the norm now that I think about it. Life is hard, people have shit in their heads and pasts. Compassion, acceptance, etc.)
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:32 PM
2

Agree 100%. Men are From Mars is totally not a bible and if you dogmatically latch on to it, it will NOT be helpful (tbh the same goes with all other books I listed!). MAFM also has some things that raised my eyebrows for sure. Think of it instead of "men are like this, women are like that", instead see it as "some people have personality type 1, and others type 2". I did that, and it worked amazingly well in certain parts of my relationship that weren't as good as they could have been. But of c…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:28 PM
2

/u/brahmidia gave sexy advice. All I'll say: Read some good books. My Recommendations: The Happiness Trap 7 Principles to Make a Marriage Work Attached ACT with Love Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus The Man's Guide to Women (Not pick up AT ALL! Completely different league). Happiness Trap, Attached, Mars and Venus, and Man's Guide = best is you're not in relationship. All these talk about either acceptance, understanding what people want from relationships, most about how to have a good r…
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 05:02 AM
3

Most likely not, but if you still doubt that, meet some single 30 year olds and come up with your own conclusion.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:55 AM
2

Check out HealthyGamerGG on YouTube. Specifically the convo's he's had with incels, guy who paid a lot for PUA advice, nofap, etc. I wish you luck.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:53 AM
5

I feel like it's less one idea but rather the sum of all it's parts. Lets be real here, pleeeenty of people hold ideas like AWALT. We all know of the stereotypes and all that. However, do those who have some semblance of AWALT think that women can't love AT THE SAME TIME? No way man. It's AWALT, female solipsism, hypergamy, women can't love, everyman is an island, etc etc etc. Death by 1000 cuts. Turns out, it's pretty fucking horrible way to go.
/r/ExRedPill25/01/21 04:50 AM
1

Good news: B/c of COVID, most are doing meetings through zoom, etc
/r/ExRedPill24/01/21 08:33 PM
1

This is great advice luv u
/r/ExRedPill24/01/21 06:19 AM
3

My thing with NMMNG is more so to it's usefulness rather than specific things it says. In other words, if you look at RP reading lists, NMMNG is often listed. Why? I think it's because it plays to the RP mindset pretty well. It felt isolating and brought me back to the men vs women state of mind. No thanks. Moreover, when I was into the book, I joined a Facebook group around the book. Bunch of previous nice guys who wanted to be men, etc. And holy shit, the posts there were basically indistingui…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/21 06:17 PM
5

FDS = group of women who feel like they're on the losing side of romantic/intimate relationships and congregate in order to share information and solve problems about said losing side feeling. On face value, it seems mega super duper like TRP, though I haven't lurked that much on there so I can say much. I did get the impression that it has a lot of suffering women in there though. Some of the stories that they've shared about what they were going through and their mindsets made me so sad.
/r/ExRedPill23/01/21 05:57 PM
3

Pure trial and error and raw experience. This implies failure and awkwardness and all the rest. But you're a human being and thankfully, our brains are made to understand social dynamics and communication just by pure exposure. All you have to do is be in situations where you're with others. If you don't have any ideas on how to do that, join a group. Go to meetup.com and find a cool thing to join. Moreover, I treat those social skill articles and videos as procrastination. Conversation is not a…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/21 05:44 PM
1

What I've noticed (and this is purely just my experience) is that my standards have gone down as I've aged. Beauty and physical standards at least. Meanwhile, personality and compatibility have increased in importance. In middle and high school, I remember my standards for girls physical attraction wise was so high. Way too high. Meanwhile, I was quiet, short, chubby, etc. I can't help but realize that me never having a girlfriend in those times of my life have to do with those dumb standards. A…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/21 05:34 PM
3

Amazing point. TRP is quite solipsistic, in fact. There's no understanding of social systems or even other people's consciousness outside of their own. While I don't think it's on purpose, the consequence is imagining women's minds to be something like a machine. What you did was humanize them, and also put them in a context AROUND the red pill men rather than a far away (as in: they affect you, you affect them), alien machine. This automatically makes you empathize with the other side and has y…
/r/ExRedPill23/01/21 05:24 PM
3

So how to get love/sex wouldn't necessarily change because of your attachment style. You still have a personality, etc. that others will be pulled towards whether anxious, avoidant, or secure. Step number one for you sounds like self-acceptance. Most likely, so long as you invalidate what you want from others and from life, we'll stay stuck. Even if you were in a relationship, there's no solution for lack of self-acceptance or self-respect outside of yourself. Also, if you don't respect your nee…
/r/ExRedPill22/01/21 04:37 PM
4

Yes men are allowed to want intimacy, and yes there are other human beings (women included) who are able and willing to share that experience with you. If you're with someone who is unwilling to give that to you, that is them failing to meet you where you are and not the other way around. Think about this another way: would the alpha masculine man look at his desire for intimacy and closeness and say "damn, I gotta change myself in order to fit other people's life"? Or would he say "Yup. I want …
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 05:48 PM
1

So the general consensus is that it can change and the advice usually given is to adopt more secure behaviors, etc. This question has a lot written about it. Let me clarify: it's not that most people are avoidant, it's that avoidants are disproportionately single. Moreover, it's not that avoidants can't love or anything, it's just that they have mental and behavioral habits that push others away. If the avoidant wants a loving relationship, they can get there. It won't be easy, but what's easy a…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 06:34 AM
1

Sure, so knowing this helps in having a theory that disproves TRP, especially in moments of self-doubt and despair. What's common in this sub is people having basically anxiety attacks over thoughts of "no woman will ever love me". Attachment styles can help bring those people back on solid ground. As far as what to do about this information, it means that we shouldn't give up and we should still have hope. We don't have to be stuck in relationships that are chronically bad for us, instead we ca…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 03:32 AM
1

Lolol no problem 🙏🙏
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 02:29 AM
1

Right, like I said, plenty of people swear by the book (meaning they like it and got stuff out of it, etc.). I wasn't helped however.
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 02:23 AM
2

Kind of implied with what I said right after. For me, NMMNG perpetuated the idea in my head of "try to change yourself in order to get women", as well as keeping me in the OCD loop of "Am I doing this right? oh no, my gf said X, that means she's not attracted to my nice guy ways". RP gets you trapped in a similar way with "am I being alpha right now?". Moreover, it's not research or data driven and the theory behind it is weak af. There is no "nice guy syndrome". Etc. I know a lot of people swea…
/r/ExRedPill21/01/21 02:09 AM
3

Before I say anything, I wish you the best. At the end of the day, whatever you do doesn't matter so long as you live true to yourself and true to your values. Whatever else happens is whatever happens. So ok You say that you don't want to be salty, yet before you say that you are going through a cycle of torment. This is the first thing that you have to figure out: is there a problem or isn't there? As long as there's a conflict between "something should change" and "something shouldn't, I shou…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 07:49 PM
3

Also imagine having to try to relate to someone who is 20 years younger/older than you. That shit would not work, especially with people like me who value verbal connection a lot. So then imagine what these RP 20 yr old - 40 yr old relationships are like! I can't imagine sex with grandpa being able to sustain most people's attention.
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 04:02 PM
1

Interesting, I had no idea about that. Any reason why they were encouraged? Was it like “mentorships” like the older guiding the younger or something like that?
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 03:22 PM
1

The book didn’t give statistics on that data point so I don’t have any numbers to go against what you said. However, I will say that even if they aren’t then majority, the anxious attachment should go the “numbers game” approach to dating regardless, that way they don’t get mega super attached to the first person they meet. Plus, often times an anxious attachment is naturally attracted to the avoidant style, so having a wide net is even more important in that way.
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 03:16 PM
1

The real red pill right here. Imagine the amount of delusion and suffering we'd prevent if this became a wide spread belief. You lose either way. If you self improve and don't get a girl, you think "oh no I'm so worthless, this just proves it. If you self improve and get a girl, you think "Damn she only likes me because of that? She doesn't like the real me" and that can be an even lonelier place. The game is fucking rigged. The only winning strategy is to not play at all. Be yourself, alive and…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 06:45 AM
2

Thankfully, TRP is actually a pretty inconsequential group in the real world so the chances of meeting someone who buys into it all the way is very unlikely. That being said, if someone is both super needy AND gives off the vibe of "I wanna be independent", there's a higher chance they've heard about it I would imagine (pure conjecture though, I've literally never met someone who took TRP seriously other than crazy part of my head)
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 06:38 AM
2

Yeah I get those types of attacks too every once and a while. What's interesting is that even if I'd never heard about TRP, I'm 99% sure that I would've had them anyway, it's just that knowing about TRP theory, those thoughts are super specific and seem waaaaay real-er than they'd otherwise be. What's helped me a lot in dealing with them is Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It gets better.
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 04:29 AM
16

So lets think: in a bird's eye view, we could describe a 20 yr old woman dating 40 yr old men as the 20 yr old woman not participating socially with her peers. Seems to me that there'd be reasons why she does this, and reasons why the majority of her peers do not. Not that I want to pathologies dating people older, I 100% don't. Seems to me though that plenty of the ones that do that DON'T do it for reasons of love, courtship, friendship, etc. What's doubly sad is that TRP men then take this pre…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 04:26 AM
5

Agree 100% Also: I can't imagine something more alienating than trying to scare your partner into liking you. How sad...
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 04:20 AM
4

A thing that struck me in the book was how it promoted something it calls "Effective communication", where if you feel in some way threatened or anxious or unloved in a relationship, what you gotta do is say something akin to "I need to feel confident in the relationship. When you chat up the waitress, I feel like I'm on thin ice". To TRP, this is literal poison and will supposedly have you be branded as a beta, etc blah blah blah. What struck me was how different the two approaches are, you kno…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 04:18 AM
8

Hmm, two ways to approach your q. On the one hand, being honest isn’t about it “working” or getting a certain response. If you’re honest to get a result, then you’re kinda trapped in the old “how do I get this person to love me” you know? So if you’re honest with someone AND they leave you, that’s a big sign that that person isn’t for you. On the other hand, the question is too big to make a big statement. Like, there may be a million possibilities for why that person would leave and I think it’…
/r/ExRedPill20/01/21 12:41 AM
1

It is discouraging. What's scary is that lonely people are becoming way more prevalent these days. We can only hope that these people don't get swept by those waves.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/21 09:52 PM
7

Step 1: Do not take scientific/sociological/evolutionary/aesthetic/really, fucking any type of advice from angry people on the internet Step 2: Find some good books. Try ones closer to "Seven Principles to Making a Marriage Work" than "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Remember: if it sounds similar to the crazy voice that's already in your head, it's probs not the way to go.
/r/ExRedPill19/01/21 09:49 PM
3

I think (and I have no data, purely intuition/conjecture) that the people in a group who harass others in that way are often not in the group for healthy reasons. It's like the group gives them a psychological defense against something they see as very painful either in their present day or their histories. This is the birth of the hive mind. Because of that, I really appreciate the beginning of your post. You're not buying into the game of "lets believe what other people say about love", rather…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/21 09:45 PM
5

A Nazi says: "AVOID DRINKING BLEACH TO SQUASH THE JEWISH MENACE". Also maybe social media = ok for some and not for others?? It's obvious that the guy who posted this was affected by social media, the question is: Why? What was his experience with it? How did it make him feel? Why did it make him feel that way? Better to ask those questions of ourselves me thinks (i.e. why did *I* react that way?, etc.) Also we are all LITERALLY in this sub because we saw TRP as cancerous lmao. I'd take social m…
/r/ExRedPill19/01/21 09:37 PM
1

but the idea of just slinging my Dick in any woman just for the fun of it really doesn't make me feel comfortable especially if I do find a girl who I want to give my entire life too because I don't want her knowing that I had to sleep around with a bunch of girls This seems to be something that you hold semi-dearly in your heart. It's one of the values that you have. There is nothing wrong with this at all. Your uncle who is saying you have to do something that you find wrong or "not you" is no…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 04:08 PM
3

Yeah it all goes back to the lack of standards that these men have. The only end is sex with any woman that is available. Doesn't matter if she doesn't have the same values or interests or philosophy of life. Doesn't matter if she even has a philosophy of life. She's a woman and that is enough to fill the hole of "I'm a bad person, no one loves me". So they get in relationships with people they hate. But they love that they can fill that hole, albeit for a moment. Real sad.
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 04:03 PM
5

Lololol already I see a problem. He replaces women with sex dolls because women suck and make him sad AND He has a youtube channel dedicated to teaching the masses about the nature of women and how it'd just be better to "go your own way". If I were content about not having a pet lion, would I waste my time writing on blogs about how lions are a drain on your financial resources and don't like to be held????
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 03:59 PM
1

Not gonna argue with you about the theory because that would be pointless. I will ask though: how has the "personal misery w/dating" been working out for you? What does your experience say about that strategy? Has it given you the life that you wanted?
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 03:53 PM
2

And im stuck there thinking, if only I had not felt anything and been more sexual, then mabye theyd have stayed. This might be the key. This is a big issue that is difficult to give advice for on the internet. Most likely you don't wanna go back to TRP again. If you did, sure you'd probs be having one night stands, but it seems like that's not enough for you. There's a reason you're on this board after all. An issue here is having the belief that you aren't good enough and you have to actively h…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 03:49 PM
7

Probably the most important step is to understand who you want to be in this life. You say the red pill is "not...ideal either". Why not? It's likely that TRP has given you results, right? How come those results weren't enough? What's missing? Don't answer these questions right away, often the first answer that comes isn't what is *really* there. Sit in the questions for a while. For me, the balance has been to throw away the scale altogether. It's not about being a nice guy or being RP, it's ab…
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 03:36 PM
2

Thanks fam luv u
/r/ExRedPill17/12/20 01:31 AM
11

Totally appreciate the post, and what follows isn’t meant to be a criticism, just sharing how my brain reacts to it: When I read things like this, anxiety comes up immediately because it puts me in the “oh no, you gotta be a good man now and not do any NG stuff otherwise she’ll leave you and you’ll be alone FOREVEEEERRRR!” Really annoying because it is good advice. I’ve found it useful to say fuck it to even trying to be a good man. Rather, I ask myself: “if everyone loved me and I were complete…
/r/ExRedPill16/12/20 06:19 PM
3

There’s a lot more to people than empathy IMO.
/r/ExRedPill16/12/20 06:14 PM
3

Nah there’s more to people than “you look like a human”. Even empathy wouldn’t be good enough. Intimacy and all that doesn’t come from woman + empathy. There’s a whole story and journey and point of view and issues and quirks that go into someone. Sure you could always come back with “but it’ll be programmed to have those quirks” but then what’s the issue then? Like, might as well call them a person if they have the same complexities. The point is that without those complexities, we can’t be in …
/r/ExRedPill16/12/20 06:12 PM
8

It sucks indeed. Sounds like your friend was/is suffering a lot. He's on his own journey. The only thing you can do is be the open door for understanding and compassion. Doesn't mean he'll choose to stay, but it does mean you can reconnect if he ever opens up and sees the light again (or maybe for the first time). You're a good friend. :(
/r/ExRedPill14/12/20 07:17 PM
2

Hahahaha points two and three are legendary! Well done
/r/ExRedPill14/12/20 03:30 PM
1

There seem to be two types of RPers. One of them are men who have a deep loneliness and insecurity around relationships. The other are men who don't have core insecurities, rather they're having a bit of a dry spell and wanna get out of it. You seem to be like the latter. People who come to this sub are the former. TRP isn't merely a way for them to get laid, it's a way to finally get through a core issue that's been directing them their entire lives. The hope is that TRP will solve those proble…
/r/ExRedPill14/12/20 03:27 PM
3

I wish therapy through reddit comments would be enough for changing how other people think and feel, especially when they are in situations and spaces that you find yourself now. I assume that you've either posted about your problems or lurked for a long time trying to finally find the post that would make it all better and make you understand. Has that search been serving you? Have you gotten out of the hole? Or are you more in than before? Think about it like this: time spent going on TRP and …
/r/ExRedPill14/12/20 03:12 PM
2

Totally agree. It’s easy to make TRPers as boogeymen, but really you can only believe in such things if you are on a very bad, low place. And absolutely, all we can do is be there, loving and open, and hope that their armor slowly goes away. We can only hope. We’re the lucky ones in this subreddit. Someone else either decided to sit with us, or we finally decided to sit with ourselves.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/20 08:11 AM
5

For sure, it was always, is, and will always be a personal problem. It seems like the “seeing women as human beings” part of recovery only happens after a RPer accepts himself.
/r/ExRedPill13/12/20 08:05 AM
3

Hahaha! Damn I never even noticed the “rational male” title point! Great catch. And absolutely, they aren’t logical. And it’s no wonder than treating oneself and others as robots leads to despair.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 08:30 PM
2

Yeah that’s right, black pill really is the logical end point. Theorizations to such an extreme that action is pointless. The only thing left to do is endlessly think think think online with others who agree (and argue with those that don’t). How much we care about ambiguity changes usually, depending on the domain. I don’t give a fuck about the ambiguity of rain tomorrow for example. But what drove me to TRP was ambiguity of relationships, something I rested my self worth on (and still do from …
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 07:28 PM
15

Self sabotage of which the world has never seen before
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 07:06 PM
5

As in: Men (or just "I") need approval from women and women want XYZ. That's reality. TRP gives advice so those guys can defend themselves as altruistic and benevolent no matter what horrible shit they say. It's a perfect self defense mechanism, so long as the first part of the sentence above is accepted.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 06:02 PM
7

Pretty ingenious way to keep perpetuating a system that everyone hates tbh. "Yes it's terrible, but that's how it is! We're actually here to protect you!"
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 05:46 PM
13

I think what causes these changes can't be found in the wordy, theoretical, and cerebral ideas/conversations found on the internet. If I try to disprove TRP by looking at "blue pill" ideas on other forums, I'm still playing the same game as before. What led my to TRP is trying to understand everything and to have no ambiguity you know? But that quest only leads down to despair. The way that it changed for me was being out in the world more. In general, I'm still quite avoidant and I have the bad…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 05:41 PM
18

It was like a black hole. No hope, no love, and it told me that I had to be someone I hated. Assuming it was all true, it still doesn’t matter because no amount of sex or women is worth that.
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 03:36 PM
2

Let’s think about it like this: if you were so easily fooled into believing lies about “how it all works” before, why are we so sure about how it all works now? After all, what you believed in the past is merely what you were told. And now you’re just replacing that story with another. But maybe nothing has really changed in your approach. What’s the other way? To live life and learn from experience. You’re 19, you haven’t lived any of this. You’re just believing other people’s stories. Maybe it…
/r/ExRedPill12/12/20 06:37 AM
4

Lol I thought it was good. What's hilarious is that the filmmakers of the Matrix and TRPers themselves couldn't be more far apart. It's like Hitler basing Nazism from the song Imagine by John Lennon.
/r/ExRedPill11/12/20 04:42 PM
4

The important thing is to notice which type of person you will attract if you do subscribe to TRP. To be in TRP, most guys believe that the game is stacked against them and that they have to basically become people they despise in order to have sex. Do you see what's going on here? I dislike narcissists, but TRP says I have to be that in order to get women. OK, so if I adopt that personality, what the fuck am I gonna believe about those women?? Am I going to respect them? Am I going to take thei…
/r/ExRedPill10/12/20 08:18 PM
24

Stop reading the red pill. Treat it like heroine for you. You read it, it probs makes you feel good, but afterwards there’s a giant hole. Cut the cycle by not playing that game to begin with Therapy. You’re having trouble connecting with people, you’re in your head a lot, etc etc. Go get some help, get honest, and put the work in. Take a breath. You’re 17. Believe you me, you don’t have it figured out. The amount that can change is immense. The worst thing you can do is believe the thoughts your…
/r/ExRedPill10/12/20 05:02 AM
11

Most likely whatever someone says to debate you in what you think about women and what you see yourself will be useless in that you'll find a way that what others say is wrong and missing something that TRP talks about. You've also probably have been debating yourself and you've just gotten more and more stuck. This isn't an accident, this is just what our minds do. Here's a small thing that may be helpful: Your mind tells you "You can't ever have a woman like that, they don't like men like you,…
/r/ExRedPill09/12/20 09:55 PM
7

Seems to me that they project what they see in themselves (insecurities) to the “betas”. What they hate in “weak” men is what they hate in themselves. And that type of hatred is necessary for their views to gain so much momentum. True self esteem and acceptance will not take you to that destination
/r/ExRedPill08/12/20 12:49 AM
2

Facts.
/r/ExRedPill08/12/20 12:42 AM
4

Right! Seems like such a system can only exist inside individual’s heads. If these ideas would be released out into the wild, it’d all collapse. Pretty hilarious how a lot of exRP advice is to just get out there and have more girl friends hahaha
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:37 PM
7

Yeah, and the connectivity of the internet has only made it worse. Not only do you have your own anecdotes, but also thousands of other men’s anecdotes to back up the feedback loop
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:27 PM
3

I agree 100%. Pretty sure almost everyone in this sub knows what that feels like. We’re the lucky ones
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:24 PM
2

For sure. Moreover self respect/esteem may come with the possibility of dry spells. Sometimes finding the right person takes a while. Life is complicated. Those who (for reasons we can only speculate) find these periods unacceptable and hell on earth will resort to trying to dominate others and they’re in for a lot of suffering
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:20 PM
5

I feel like this says a lot about the men who join TRP and get results, as well as the women that fill those spreadsheets tbqh. These guys would rather have them stay with them forever than admit that it just doesn’t work well with some. I imagine childhood experiences holds the answer as to why but we can only speculate
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:15 PM
2

Indeed. Doesn’t work for men who have standards though. It’s a confusing hall of mirrors for them Edit: and the “rage” phase is guys who still have some semblance of worth in themselves and hope that there are women with self respect. Congratulations to those who backed away, compassion to those who didn’t see what their deep selves were saying
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 08:13 PM
6

Moreover: TRP gets “results” because of the low standards. These guys are fucking women that have problems that fall for this shit (the covert strategy). Obviously the only women you’ll attract are ones that don’t have a certain type of self respect or something. And that just feeds the idea of TRP. The only ones they’re coming to contact with are ones that fall for it, and these are ones who don’t have that self respect and that just perpetuates their belief that “all women are like that” etc
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 07:53 PM
1

Ok. You wanna learn more, then go ahead. We don’t wanna learn more because we think we’ve had enough.
/r/ExRedPill07/12/20 05:16 AM
1

Ok so you’re looking to have you’re mind changed then? And you saying the cost is too high to NOT be red pulled is literally what we’re against. We were in TRP and we came up with the opposite conclusion. And the whole point of this subreddit is questioning TRP. Again, you think that there are no more options, and that you found the truth. So why are you here?? If it’s because you’re looking for ways to disprove TRP, then you should ask yourself why you’re looking for that. People on this sub ha…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/20 11:24 PM
4

In general, TRP = right wing kind of. JP = right wing also (or at least popular with them). So it’s make sense that people allergic to TRP get stuffy noses when hearing JP’s ideas and right wing ideas in general.
/r/ExRedPill06/12/20 09:44 PM
2

Because the red pill makes us feel terrible, the reason being is because of what I wrote above, at least that’s my reason. Moreover, it makes us not be the type of people that we want to be. But if you just wanted to understand, then why write down all that you did? Seems like you’re trying to win an argument, not merely trying to understand our perspective, otherwise you would’ve just asked questions yah dig? So why are you arguing about this? What is to be gained from this? At face value it se…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/20 08:37 PM
3

“Women hating” that I experienced was because of the idea that women can’t love and most people that stumble on the red pill are people who put women on a pedestal and went through bad childhood shit. So you have low self esteem guy who grows up his whole life with “women and sex will complete me with love” and then TRP comes up and says “actually love is a myth lmao got em”. Obviously, that message is fucking poison for these types of people (I.e. me). But ok so you don’t feel hatred towards wo…
/r/ExRedPill06/12/20 06:57 AM
3

You seem like a sad boy. Find a good therapist so we can turn that frown upside down. If you’re actually doing well, why post in a subreddit about how certain people felt wronged by a subreddit they used to visit? What’s the strategy here, Mac?
/r/ExRedPill06/12/20 03:35 AM
2

I hear that man. The scariest part for me is the "It worked". What's interesting is that exredpillers don't become those because the strategies didn't "work". There's a deeper reason. It's like, by being in TRP, you give something away. A deep part of yourself that you always took pride in and honored. Then because of loneliness or low self esteem, we attach our self worth not from that thing inside us, but rather the opinions others have on us, especially women (especially especially women sexu…
/r/ExRedPill01/12/20 04:09 PM
2

Very encouraging, thank you for sharing.
/r/ExRedPill26/09/20 03:49 PM
1

The “throwing all the weight” analogy is really useful. There have been times in the relationship where I’ve thrown all my weight on her, and times where she threw it on me as well. Not a fun experience on either side haha. Now everything you’ve said is useful, I just wanna clarify that what I meant by vulnerable was showing her that I like her and sort of being open about that. I don’t mean saying “YOU COMPLETE ME NEVER LEAVE”, but just having her know that I care. That’s really the big thing. …
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 05:36 PM
3

Totally recommend counseling. What helped me is a) Acceptance and Commitment therapy (check out a few good books about it) and b) having a therapist that challenges me on my bullshit. Remember too that you’re in good company.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 12:44 PM
2

True. Thankfully, it never stays around that long. The anxiety for the most part went away after I talked to my girlfriend, but there does seem to be some residual anxiety left over.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 12:27 PM
3

Radical trust is a great idea and i feel like I’ve gotten close to acting in that vein, but I never put it as concretely as that. And for sure the best times of my life were when I did let go of all that shit and accept myself, the moment, etc. Do you feel like you’ve been implementing radical trust well? How has it helped you? Good results?
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 12:24 PM
3

The one that really fucks me up is the sentiment that if I open up to her emotionally and become vulnerable, she’s gonna get unattracted to me and I’ll start to lose her. Puts me in this weird zone where I want to open up and be involved, but if I do I’ll leave her, but if I don’t I won’t get the love that I want out of life.
/r/ExRedPill25/09/20 12:20 PM
1

I definitely have a lot of self doubt and all that. Letting go of the plan definitely seems like the way to go. When I get the number, I usually wait a few days till I ask to hang out. I imagine I should just fucking take the plunge immediately and not wait right?
/r/seduction12/09/18 08:25 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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