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ddbatage Archive

View 13 posts and 190 comments by ddbatage on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Thank you, I appreciate this comment
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 04:16 PM
1

You’re right, she does have friends. I’m now realizing she may have been testing the waters. So I’m going to be very cautious and set harder boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 03:03 PM
3

I did smile inside when I heard the news that I can confirm.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:55 PM
1

Yeah, next month she’s due. I’m already looking at my options to take full custody because shit may hit the fan when she tells her BF we talked.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 02:54 PM
1

Thank you so much!
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/24 01:47 AM
1

That gave me more clarity, thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:40 PM
3

I appreciate it!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:36 PM
2

Yeah today I reflected on that talk yesterday and I felt 100% weirded out
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:34 PM
2

That’s what I asked and it seemed like I was the only option. After our divorce her mom and her are kinda in a rut. Her mom still sends me pictures of the kids when she visits them and checks in with me here and there, super nice lady but I do need to draw some boundaries.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:32 PM
4

Yeah I’m gonna lay low with that for now
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 11:29 PM
1

Exactly how I felt
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 06:55 PM
3

I can’t with this 🤣
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 06:54 PM
3

100% thank you
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:47 PM
3

🫡
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:46 PM
1

Yeah I recommended her to see a therapist and she’s hesitant about it. I told her just give it a chance it’s much better than talking to me about it.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:45 PM
1

This. I appreciate the feedback
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:18 PM
2

🤣
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:16 PM
3

Thank you just need to keep hearing it 🙏🏾
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 05:00 PM
3

I didn’t know there was a term for that, thank you! Definitely something I don’t want to fall into for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:58 PM
2

That’s exactly what I was thinking on my drive back home lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:54 PM
8

This. I appreciate it sir!
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:44 PM
3

That’s another concern I have as well. Definitely may go back to court to change things
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:43 PM
8

100% I think I’m just concerned that the kids mom might crash out worse that’s all lol
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:40 PM
3

He cheated in April, so she had plenty of time to make a choice but chose to stay. Now she’s having doubts…
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/24 04:28 PM
3

I appreciate the advice. Thanks. Once she has a car and her license then I’ll most likely go this route. Just need to wait a few weeks unfortunately for that to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 08:37 PM
2

The final divorce decree should be coming in a few weeks. Nervous because of the history men have with divorce, but keeping my chin up because I cannot wait to break that marriage tie that’s on paper at the moment.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 08:35 PM
1

100% agree. I was wishing it would come asap when I was driving back to my place lol
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 04:41 PM
10

Putting it like that really did help me process what I’m feeling. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 04:45 AM
4

So true. Before stbx moved out she was gone most nights and only stayed 2 nights with us while the rest was with AP since they worked together and have similar shifts. I guess it made sense to her to sleep with him than see her kids especially on the days she was supposed to be with them. She just used her mom to watch the kids while she goes out…recently I hear she’s still doing that with her new place smh we shall see when her mom starts work soon and how that’ll play out 🤔 It’s mind boggling…
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 08:56 PM
1

Austin, TX yep I know lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 04:41 AM
2

Thanks man! Gonna be one hell of a ride for sure
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 04:35 AM
2

Yessir, planning on getting my own new place in a week or so. Just needed to get all the other things rolling. But so far it’s been ok the first 3 days was hell but it’s getting better slowly.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 02:10 AM
1

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. This week was my first week not having my kids and coming home from work is not something I look forward to anymore. I missed the way they would run up to me, and all kinds of other things. The silence in my home actually is scary and haunting that it makes me sick. I know it gets better and I actually feel like this week was when my journey to self discovery and healing truly began. It’s hard adjusting from having that partner to being alone but I feel like …
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 12:57 PM
1

How do you know? 😅 Just curious is all I think she's only telling her mom partial things. But she had the audacity to text me saying I would need to have the kids Saturday evenings because he BF is going to spend Saturday nights with her. She literally pissed me off by adding that detail and I know she was loving that. I did react but not bad enough to escalate things and give her ego a big boost. I just told her that I don't need to know what your BF is doing and that this isn't comfortable at …
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 10:38 PM
1

I appreciate it the tips man! Looking forward to big things
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:26 AM
2

This is exactly what I like to hear and see. I am young and so hearing people with years of experience especially longer marriages or more experience with different relationships helps me out a lot. My stbx was my first real relationship and my first heartbreak as I mentioned in my other post. I’ve had flings here and there but they were never connections or deep enough like I had with my stbx. Thank you for sharing your past and I appreciate the word of advice you’ve given so far. I do see myse…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:24 AM
2

That’s awesome man! You’re definitely right I’m going to be trying a lot of new things and find what makes me happy 👍
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:06 AM
1

Should I expect to be blindsided or be aware if she is scheming something with the divorce decree? Right now all I know is that we are both waiting out the 60-61 day period before things can potentially be finalized. Maybe I should have my guard up just in case then…
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/23 02:04 AM
1

Yeah it started as an emotional affair because she was home often after work giving me false hope. She works 10+ hour days 4 days a week so she had plenty of time to build a relationship with him. She didn’t start coming home “late” until mid May and my mother in law has kept me updated here and there. Mother in law is surprised at what her daughter is doing and has talked to her about it but of course my stbx is an adult and can make her own choices.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 09:54 PM
2

I appreciate the response man. Please feel free to share any resources with me and I’ll definitely give them a go because I do want to reinvent myself. Thanks so much brother ✊
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 08:44 PM
1

Im glad I found this sub Reddit it has been extremely helpful thanks for your thoughts and for everyone that commented. We got this guys 💪
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:16 PM
1

I almost did a physique competition before I met her. Time to get back into it 💪💪
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:15 PM
2

Correct. They have someone to lean on so they don’t have to process it right now but I think down the road it’ll hit them. My stbx is happy as she can be because she has AP but once shiz hit the fan I reckon she’ll change if not now down the road. By then I’ll already be in a better place emotionally than her 💯
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:14 PM
2

That’s the plan after I get off work. Gonna bawl my eyes out and heal 💯
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:12 PM
1

What part of texas are you in? And good on ya man keep your chin up and continue to heal 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:12 PM
2

Thank you man. I’m glad things are going well for you keep at it 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:28 AM
1

I can see that just from my mothers experience 😅 My stbx is 24 and I’m 26 and she hasn’t had a lot of experience with other people especially because she’s BI. I think she’s trying to go through that phase now or whatever it is…but it’s time to move on
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:26 AM
2

Good tip on maximizing quality time with the kiddos by doing those errands before I have them over. Sometime my kids love shopping with me because I did the majority of the cooking, baking, the kitchen was essentially my bish. They love to pick random foods and we create something kid friendly from there. Thanks for your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:23 AM
1

That’s exciting man! Happy for ya. Hopefully that’ll be me once I get my ducks in a row lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:18 AM
1

I resonate with your experience, of course it’s a little different. My father divorced my mother when I was 4 because she cheated on him. I saw it all go down when he caught her and it will forever haunt me. Due to my dad sickness he wasn’t able to care for me as best as he could so I spent the weekends at his place and the weekdays with my mother. My mother’s AP and her got a house together and the relationship only lasted for about 4-5 years before he had enough of her narcissistic abuse. From…
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:17 AM
2

Right on. I wouldn’t mind doing a trip. I’m in the Austin area though lol
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:03 AM
1

Oof that’s on my stbx if that does happens lol Glad you got your house back and hopefully things are going well for ya.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:02 AM
2

Thank you, keep going yourself my man we’re all in this together 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 05:00 AM
1

Thank you man
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 04:59 AM
3

We got this brother. It’s still fresh but we’ll push through it 🤝 idk how to cope either but I’m going back to the basics to things that made me happy before I got married. Healthy things. Gym, books, music, making a vision board just for fun that kind of stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:34 AM
2

Everyone has a different plan for them for happiness and peace. I hope things work out for me to get there eventually. Thanks for your thought.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:32 AM
4

Yessir. I have a habit to game when I’m stressed or anxious, but with so much time on my hands I’m gonna start investing in myself properly. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 02:30 AM
3

Working with close friends is hard since they’re out of state but I’m still blessed to have some a phone call away. Thanks for your thoughts man I appreciate it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:27 AM
1

I’m in texas and still don’t have a gun lol definitely something I should do and get on thanks for the reminder 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 01:10 AM
3

I’ve always wanted to try mma or boxing so that’s something i might consider once I got my ducks in a row.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 12:57 AM
3

My daughter is a big daddy’s girl and although she doesn’t know what’s going on I can just tell it’ll be hard simply because i always tuck her in and hold her hand. I’m glad things got better and im hoping things will get better in the coming days and so forth. Thanks for your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 12:57 AM
13

You’re good man. I’m trying to wrap my head around it as well and make it make sense. If she lets him move in then clearly she’s not thinking about our kids emotional well-being
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 12:53 AM
9

Yeah i have a feeling she’ll have him around without me knowing. My mother in law spoke with stbx and stbx told her that she’s not planning on having him move in. But idk my stbx could be lying to her own mom…idk i can’t really control it anymore just gonna hope for the best
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/23 12:51 AM
2

That makes sense. I came across something on our laptop about him being her “green person”. It means that he saved her from sadness and that he brings happiness that she is willing to never let go of him. On top of that im also aware of her new friends telling her to walk away too. If I was very abusive I don’t think my stbx would go out of her way to be my friend which she seems so desperately to be doing. I’m glad it ended because if she truly did care she wouldn’t have walked away like or at …
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:04 PM
2

I hear ya. My stbx is also messed up for going that route. It takes two to tangle..
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 10:17 AM
2

Lol you’re right thanks man 🫡
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:46 AM
2

Thank you. I want the best for my kids so I’m doing my best to put them first and hope that everything works out. I just hope my stbx gets her mind right too.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:41 AM
3

This. I was and still am guarded about my kids. When she first got into a relationship with him she asked me a week after for him to see the kids. She was crazy to think that…but now she’s know him for a total of 9 months with 2 months of them being in a relationship. So I figured today wouldn’t hurt to just see his face. She introduced him as a friend is what my mother in law said because I was in another room going crazy keeping myself together. It was a quick 15 mins and then they got there s…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:37 AM
2

I figured that as well. I was very uncomfortable that my stbx was having him come over to grab her stuff and I could’ve taken the kids out for a drive. They only met for less than 15 mins and then the kids sat with my mother in law the whole time stbx grabbed her stuff. I was in another room keeping my crap together 😅 she introduced him as a friend so the kids potentially don’t know that it’s a romantic partner yet but regardless there was a much better outcome. Just the emotional state I’m in i…
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 02:28 AM
6

Thank you. I been trying to get her to stop checking in with me. After her moving out it’s gonna be a whole lot easier now. Just counting the days for divorce to finalize.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:30 AM
8

I appreciate it man. Thanks for the comfort.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 01:29 AM
2

You deserve to be happy too. I hope everything goes well and that new opportunities come your way :)
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 11:22 PM
2

Interesting. My stbx wanted to date as soon as we separated and I didn’t think much about it. She stopped dating a month into our separation and realized that it hurt me and said she would only hang out with her co-workers. But that didn’t change anything seeing she’s in a relationship with him now. But during this time she was hiding him from me I had to remind her constantly to file the paperwork she had started. She was annoyed that I kept bothering her about it but we finally got it submitte…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 11:21 PM
2

Interesting how men are encouraged to wait and women are encouraged or simply get into a relationship. Not all are like that and it’s vice versa, but I do see it being like that just from skimming in some of the sub reddits. I’m gonna wait just because I did try the dating app and met women on there but I immediately shot it down because I just wasn’t ready and felt sick to my stomach.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 11:17 PM
2

Good on you man. It’s still fresh for me since we just put the papers in the beginning of July. But I’m looking forward to the growth and opportunities that will come once divorce is finalized.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 03:43 PM
2

Thanks man I appreciate the thought 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 06:14 AM
2

You’re right man. Gotta get my head outta the feels. I do wonder if she is a narcissist just because I’ve been seeing her true colors the past month now…she’s different and it gives me anxiety/chills when I have to interact with her…
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 05:39 AM
1

Two years is ridiculously long. I hope mine isn’t too long. Glad you’re close to the end though man! Enjoy your date as well!
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 05:36 AM
1

3!? Congrats haha. They always come back is what I hear, or at least most of them do. Don’t worry I ain’t hoping for that lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 03:28 AM
2

Yessir. The financial part is a big thing for sure. When divorce is final things should be set and stone fingers crossed
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:13 AM
1

That would set her ablaze lol
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:11 AM
1

Give her a taste of her own medicine I love that 😂🔥
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:39 PM
2

Yessir. And you're right she had plenty of time to develop that. It's the false hope she gave me that fd me up
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:24 PM
2

Amen brother, I appreciate the thought.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:22 PM
2

😂😂 I guess I can put that on my agenda for tonight
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:21 PM
3

Amen. I'm looking forward to embracing my independence again🔥🔥
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:16 PM
1

Right on. I don't plan to put myself out there because there's so many things I have been wanting to do that I thought my stbx would appreciate. But now I can fully develop those skills and enjoy the hobbies. I've heard the saying that a relationship should be a want not a need. I know through this divorce it'll be a rollercoaster but I'm feeling hopeful for the independence I'll have with my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 10:15 PM
2

I start living alone tonight. Feeling a bit nervous but your post gave me some comfort.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:43 PM
3

That's a fact. Every room has some memory of her and it hits pretty hard. It's still fresh but I'm sure I'll be able to shake it off.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:41 PM
2

It has been like this for the past two months. However she is moving out and I will officially have the place to myself tonight. There won't be anymore unnecessary interactions and the only time I will see her is to drop/pick the kids up from her place. She can't drive so I'll be doing majority of the commute until she gets her license figured out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 09:38 PM
2

Thank you friend 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:45 PM
2

You’re right. I could tell she was distancing herself a few months ago to a year. It’s just disappointing that she was the one showing me signs of reconciliation. She invited me to bed, she held my hands, all of those things. But I saw someone mentioned that it was a unconscious thing she was doing to lessen the guilt of what she was going to do. She pretty much set me up and gave me false hope and that’s what hurts the most. Now she’s trying to be nice and wants to keep the relationship with me…
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:38 PM
2

Thank you. I’ll have to start changing my mindset for sure.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:11 AM
1

Good point
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 01:10 AM
2

Sounds good, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:41 PM
2

Gonna have to master it because it’s still shaky at first lol
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:39 PM
2

You’re right. But to me she’s here because of the kids. And I’m assuming that’s what he thinks if he does give a crap? Idk Also Im not sure if he knows that she’s constantly wanting be my friend and still flirts with me😅 I have been doing pretty well shooting it down especially last night when she was laying a lot of cards down hahah
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:38 PM
2

I’ll also add that every time I’m happy or smiling I catch her looking at me visibly upset and so she will say or do something to boost her ego. Like tonight I was in a good mood and I didn’t realized until now she was manipulating me to boost herself. Some examples tonight: I got McDonald’s and she somewhat expected I got her something so she took some of my fries and “laughed” about it. She asked for a sip of my drink and I didn’t even think about it I just said “Oh give me a cup and I’ll pour…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 08:14 AM
2

Thank you. I’m looking forward to the opportunities that’ll come once the fog is lifted for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:29 AM
1

I can tell theres something still lingering between us on the physical side which is normal of course because the feelings are just left over waiting to fizzle out. Just gotta keep my head on a swivel because I’ll admit it is tempting, but I gotta stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 03:28 AM
3

Yep, gonna be getting that glow up soon enough
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:53 AM
1

I can tell she’s being manipulative here and there. She’ll try to talk to me but make it sound like it’s about the kids sometime I don’t catch it. But when I do I just shoot it down but she’ll try to rephrase it a second time. I just wish she can let me go in all honesty.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:51 AM
2

Well she’s the only women that works in the BOH as a chef so she got hit on the daily. Should’ve known or seen it coming but I trusted she wouldn’t give in. Great lesson learned there for me.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:49 AM
2

Done. It’s made life a bit easier but the thought to look her up is through the roof.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:47 AM
2

This. Literally been crying all week even when working I rather cry there than in front of my kids idk. I’ll get there and I can feel it. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:46 AM
1

She’s moving out tomorrow so she’s trying to throw all the cards down and I’m shooting them down like it’s open season 😤
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:44 AM
1

Cannot wait. Tonight was tough…she touched my ass dude lmao the audacity to flirt and mess with me 🙄 this woman I swear I cannot wait!!!!
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:43 AM
2

I think my ex is bouncing through all 4 stages at the same time. -She has asked me from time to time "how can I help you?" when she could tell I was upset -She never went out a lot or drank. Her new BF and friends got her drinking now but I'm hoping it's just socially and that she's not irresponsible with it. She goes to parties and hangs out with friends who she believe are good for her. But none of them have been married or have kids. I guess that part doesn't matter because experiences can st…
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:15 AM
1

Wow that really did it lol I appreciate the realism.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:01 AM
1

This. I kept telling myself "She's too nice, she would never do that" she even told me in person that's not who she is....how the tables have turned
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 12:57 AM
2

Thank you. I'll definitely do the video Idea
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 12:55 AM
2

Yep. She's high off of love (Infatuation) nothing can bring her down...
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 12:52 AM
1

I’ll do better. Thanks man 💯💯
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 11:55 PM
1

I think I’m having a hard time picturing her acting like that because for some reason it comes off as genuine. And a part of me feels there’s no way in hell she would mess with my depression like that…but wait I may be overlooking what events has happened recently wowwww
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:02 PM
2

Im trying man, she’s running all over my brain and unfortunately my heart as well. I gotta start putting speed bumps in there haha
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:24 PM
2

That’s exactly what I feel is total abandonment. I’m doing my best to not break and be desperate or beg, but somehow I’m getting by
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:23 PM
2

I think about this sometimes just because there was no closure…just completely blindsided and it’s jaw dropping that she can’t see that from my pov she doesn’t have to but it makes no sense especially from a first timer.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:19 PM
1

😂 so absurd but I appreciate the thought
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:09 PM
1

Man I can’t tell you when I can reach that point. I’ll get there though one step at a time
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:08 PM
0

Good point. I’m just having a hard time knowing if her niceness is genuine or if it’s a trick. Definitely need to get my mind straight but it’s tough sheesh
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:07 PM
2

Y’all are too funny thanks for the laugh
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:04 PM
3

Interesting, probably explains why she showing mixed signals.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 07:03 PM
4

Thank you, it’s hard but I’m sure it does get better eventually!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 05:05 PM
2

Yessir that’s my goal hahah
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 04:47 PM
1

Thank you for your thoughts. I can see that she’s under the influence in some aspects. I don’t want to assume anything but when she’s around me it seems that she wants to talk or I’ll catch her staring at me without saying anything. I used to view this as hope but now I just view it as maybe she’s bouncing between reality of her mistake and fantasy but is more willing to hang onto fantasy since it’s more satisfying for her in the present moment. That way she avoids doing the work or recognizes h…
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 04:46 PM
1

I need to mark that verse for sure haha thanks
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 04:10 PM
1

Yeah. I can tell she’s unstable because of her irrational behavior when we happen to be in the same room. I just need to move on though because it’s no longer my responsibility just hard that’s all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 04:09 PM
2

Thanks man I appreciate it. Definitely gonna rediscover myself.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 04:08 PM
2

I wish I would’ve known better. Her actions of intimacy with me during separation got to my head. I thought she was wanting to genuinely reconcile but now looking back it was to set up her affair.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 03:37 PM
2

Yeah there was no point in telling me what she was gonna do unless she wanted a reaction. I’m glad I’m having this reaction at work and not in front of her so she can feel better about herself. Still at work does kinda suck because I got quotas to hit 🙄
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 03:34 PM
2

You know I lost myself in the marriage and tried getting it back with the hope that my stbx would support me. Now, I’ll rediscovered myself on my own thanks for the push. And definitely will do something with my kids. My son is addicted to building cars from legos/toy blocks so I got to get back on that myself as well!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 03:32 PM
1

Definitely will give it a read. And 100% I do and I’m doing my best haha
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:32 PM
2

The way you spoke reminded me of my dad. He passed away 2 years ago and he was my person I would go to for advice aside from my stbx. I wish he was here now because man he was all I got and my mom is just too far gone. I’m definitely enjoying the comfort in this sub Reddit. Thanks again for your thoughts!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:31 PM
1

Thank you for this. It’s tough for me to know if I’m being logical or emotional and having it pointed out here definitely helped me gain clarity. Thanks 💯
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:27 PM
2

I appreciate it man! Still questioning things here and there but I’ll get out of that phase soon hopefully.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:23 PM
3

Lmao i know man. I’m just getting my feelings out. I appreciate the thought 110%
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:19 PM
3

This is the energy I needed thanks brother
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:19 PM
2

I’ll definitely take you up on that, thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 01:35 PM
2

Thank you it’s still fresh so I know it’s gonna take some time. I’m sorry you’re still going through it. I hope it gets better for you man. Keep your head up 🤝
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:27 PM
3

I have not thought about what I want from this divorce. Sheesh that’s a good first step for me. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 12:08 PM
2

This. I wish I had it straightforward than being blindsided. But now she wants to be friend and is curious with what/how/where I’m doing or going? It’s an emotional rollercoaster..
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 11:58 AM
2

Spot on, I’m processing them and it’s everyday. The more I’m able to process the more I find myself able to distance myself. As for her she keeps asking me to be her friend and still wants to have that relationship with me just not on a romantic level. I’ve told her that I need time and it’ll take awhile but still she’s consistent with wondering what/how/where I’m going and doing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 11:55 AM
4

Yeah that’s my thought as well. She only went on 4 dates with him and they became official on the 4th date. I know this to be true because she can’t drive yet and my mother in law was keeping tabs on her and keeping me posted. But they have history working with each other so yeah idk. I’m hoping it gets better for sure though.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 11:09 AM
7

My brain has it down. It’s the heart that I’m trying to convert to the same mindset. I’m waiting for that day I can look back and realize that I am better off without her.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:38 AM
12

I appreciate it man
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:29 AM
11

Yeah I should’ve added that they are co-workers. She was telling everyone at work about our situation and during that 6 month period that she worked while we were separated he was her shoulder to cry on at work and I was hers at home. I feel fooled haha
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:26 AM
13

Right, what makes it hard for me to still process was during our separation she was showing signs of reconciliation. We held hands, we were on some level helping each other emotionally, we were intimate at times that wasn’t sexual, we were pretty much acting as a couple but didn’t want to admit it. She was the one who initiated reconciliation but after one week of “trying” she just gave up. But you’re right because this guy was her co-worker for 6 months and so she had plenty of time to have an …
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 10:22 AM
3

I’m flabbergasted xD
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 02:49 AM
2

I appreciate that thought man. I’ll definitely do that once we have our separate places. Only time I’ll see her will be to pick up the kids and drop them off since she isn’t able to drive for another month or so.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:05 PM
1

Definitely will give this a read. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:03 PM
3

I spoke with a work buddy of mine and he’s also going through the same thing. He mentioned it’s probably because her BF doesn’t offer xyz emotionally that I did, and so she trying to get that from me so she can feel “fulfilled” I’m glad I stood my ground.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 02:24 PM
2

I think so too. I just need to be careful to not feed her ego.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 10:27 AM
3

Yeah we are in the process of getting our own places. She the one that seems like she doesn’t know what she wants. She’s very upset that I’m putting my foot down so I’m working on stopping this weird thing she has going on thinking she can continue to walk over me.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 10:24 AM
10

I’ll also add I was surprised I was able to remain content and at ease while she went on a rant. Maybe that’s a sign I’m moving in the right direction for sure
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 04:02 AM
4

Two years ago my dad past away and with me being the only heir and the rest of my dad family hating me I had to handle a lot of legal stuff. My stbx tried her best but because she was pregnant she needed help as well. I tried my best to balance my father estate and my stbx pregnancy and it ultimately became a thorn in her eyes. I guess it’s fair with her being pregnant but now that things have changed and reflecting on the past she never really wanted to stick it out and grow from it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 10:16 PM
1

I should’ve mentioned I got two kids with her 😅 so it’s a bit hard. She is investing so much time with him and investing so little with the kiddos. Don’t worry though I’m documenting it all down if shiz hits the fan. Oddly enough she posts all lot of pictures of our kids but her actions in person says otherwise. My mother in law is a teacher so she has the summer to spend with the grandkids so my ex is taking advantage of that. One thing my mother in law mentioned is that my ex rarely checks in …
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 04:47 PM
2

I appreciate the thought, wish I saw it sooner than later.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 02:20 AM
1

Thank you man. It was my first heartbreak too, I just wish it wasn’t her but it’s time to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 12:57 AM
3

Spot on. When we separated a few months ago she told me she wanted to date and that it was healing for her. I ignored it and didn’t think much about it because we were being intimate with each other. Nothing sexually just very subtle things such as holding hands, cuddling, words of encouragement those kinds of things. Little did I know it was doomed from the start and I was blind to see it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 12:54 AM
1

Lol I’m glad the comments helped out man! Keep it up 👍
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:47 PM
3

Wow that’s a hard reality. I hope you’re doing ok now though. I believe that my ex started having an emotional affair since this boyfriend of hers works with her in BOH (Back of house) she’s a line cook. I should’ve known things would happen due to the stereotype restaurant dating culture has but I trusted her to still work with me on the marriage. We can only do so much…until shiz hits the fan.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 09:00 PM
2

Thank you. I kept reminding myself that she’s just going rogue and that this isn’t her. But now knowing that thought was fueled by my unstable emotions I can see clearly that people change regardless of any situation. Time to keep looking forward from here on out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:54 PM
6

Oh I understand you. I feel like my ex has forgotten we are in a divorce or at least her relationship is giving her a good enough distraction to the point where she believes this is all my fault and that she had no contribution to the downfall of our marriage. Chore management is something that I’ve been trying hard with her since we still do live with each other for the time being. She’s only here for 2 days of the week so I’m doing the majority of the chores at home and when she’s here she jus…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:48 PM
6

I wish I would’ve known this earlier before we wasted money on that one session. With my ex I’m so confused with her behavior even though it’s not my responsibility anymore to worry. She has now been wanting to be my friend and has cried about it as well, but after setting up my boundary and showing less interest in her attempts to engage in small talk I’m starting to realize it’s her ego not her heart. True colors do come out once things start to end unfortunately. My brain is good but my heart…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:40 PM
9

I’m 100% with you. It takes two to communicate effectively and that’s something I learned wasn’t really my stbx strong point.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:34 PM
2

I appreciate it man.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:26 PM
5

Exactly. She couldn’t verbally tell me she wanted to divorce and move on, so she just did it whatever way worked for her and I found out as soon as she got into a relationship…after she told me she was seeing someone I was surprised and told her “Oh so you did move on?” And she responded with “If this is what it took to let you know”. Now, she wanna be friends after that? Hell no.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:25 PM
3

Wow. That’s very unfortunate why do spouses give false hope? When we had our first and last couples therapy she ended up going on her first date with her current boyfriend the day later. I didn’t know until the day she told me she was seeing someone. I overlooked the red flags and odd patterns in the end because I was desperate to save the marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 08:20 PM
18

That’s the goal. This was mine and her first marriage/long term relationship, so I’m going to be taking a good amount of time learning all I can.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:42 PM
8

This. She kept mentioning in the screenshot that she was completely exhausted. It was very one sided with me trying to get couples therapy, make a plan, etc but she had already clocked out. What gets me overthinking was when she initiated the reconciliation but when it wasn’t perfect and exhausted her even more she got-It lasted one week-into another relationship two weeks later. I’ll also add when she did make the move to move on without verbally telling me I told her at that time if she wanted…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/23 06:40 PM
1

She was very nice to me and loving and carried her part for the past 4-5 years. I was working through my issues and I think that caused some major stress on our marriage. For the past 6 months I’ve been owning my faults in our relationship and have been going to therapy. We tried reconciling about two months ago but it was very one sided and doomed from the start, because she got into a relationship with her co-worker two weeks after we “tried” to work our issues out.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 11:15 PM
1

She never got a diagnosis or anything like that. She kept saying she needed to go therapy for herself and I tried to get her to go but she had her friends tell her otherwise. I do notice some traits. One thing for sure is that she most likely has an avoidant attachment. It just baffles me that she’s able to continue life like nothing happened or that’s what it seems.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 11:11 PM
1

I appreciate that thought. And I’m definitely looking forward towards it!
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 06:40 PM
3

I gave myself false hope on being plan b. No one should be okay with being an option. Learned that it’s best to just focus on the kids and I since then I felt more at peace with that idea.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:51 PM
2

Interesting. And I have when we do see each other she’s always the one initiating small talk. But I’m gonna stay persistent and be indifferent.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:50 PM
1

At first that was something I envisioned. After a couple months though I started to realize that maybe it’s actually best that we go our separate ways. Of course I wish it was under better circumstances and that I wasn’t blindsided by her getting into a relationship two weeks later when we tried to “reconcile”. I will always love and care about her since she was my first love, but with how things unfolded I need a lot of me time to process this crap. I just wished she’d understand why I can’t be…
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 02:09 AM
3

That’s a good idea. There are a couple items that have sentimental value around the home so going through those will have to be on my to do list tomorrow👍
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:50 AM
2

Hear hear
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/23 12:48 AM
1

I can see that work out in some way
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 11:31 PM
1

That Simple
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 11:31 PM
2

Ok that makes so much sense. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 10:48 PM
3

Definitely will being do that instead of making it awkward by trying to engage the conversation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 10:11 PM
5

You’re definitely right just need to balance out my emotions. Someone else mentioned the gray rock method as well. That’s something I apparently was doing without evening knowing that’s a thing. But now that I do, I’ll stick with it. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 10:10 PM
1

I appreciate the laugh man. Only time will tell
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:26 PM
2

Lmao i assume she’s still attracted to me physically because of all the stares and closeness she does. But given the situation I’m good haha not playing the game.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:11 PM
1

Much appreciated! I’ll definitely keep my eyes peeled.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 06:47 PM
1

I’m thinking the same as well. I was going to file but she told me that she had the papers filled out already but never submitted it. She showed the documents to me and we both went through everything to make sure it was fair and correct, and from there all she needed to do was file it but she took weeks to file it until I had to remind her to pay the fee and get it filed. I made sure she didn’t make any changes on any of the documents before she submitted it. Otherwise she seemed reluctant ever…
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 06:30 PM
1

Ok I’ll do that, much appreciated
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 01:17 PM
3

Lmao I’ve been reading some stuff on there. I get what you mean now
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 05:17 AM
2

Bad advice on there? Lol
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 05:04 AM
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