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dog_fart_tacos Archive

View 10 posts and 129 comments by dog_fart_tacos on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

I feel you and you are not alone. I pay mortgage and spousal support and then I am negative $650 to start each month - no bills, no savings, no food, nothing. The spousal support will end in 8 years, or when she remarries/co-habitates, or dies. She recently went to the ER multiple times for some health issues, and, I won't lie, I was feeling it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/24 11:28 AM
4

This sounds a lot like my situation. Our relationship had been bad for years, and she had been unwilling to do anything to fix it. She eventually snuck out, did some drugs with friends, and was felt up - but nothing else happened. (Blink, blink) My wife came clean but that was ultimately for her benefit and not mine. In fact, I am convinced it was somewhat to manipulate me. We never did get close again and eventually divorced some years later.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 05:56 PM
7

I became lazy to do things, so life as a couple was boring. Too many evenings were spent just sitting on the sofa drinking beer. I took her for granted and began to blame her when she didn't act to make up for my short comings. I was disorganized and very slow to make improvements around the house.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 01:13 PM
21

I think you can be friendly, but I don't know about ever being friends. I trust my friends. I can never again trust my ex.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 01:23 AM
2

is your endless advocate No. Only you are your advocate. The lawyer will ensure the process is carried out according to the law, and they will give you advice on options IF ASKED. However, they will NOT work tirelessly to think up a good strategy, recommend clever ways to protect your assets, or fight for your interests - unless YOU request it. The more they can stick with simply processing the paperwork, the happier they are.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:29 AM
3

It will also gets modeled to the kids as a normal relationship, and will likely be the kind they gravitate towards.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:17 AM
5

I wish more people knew about all the fucked up changes the republicans have made to screw over Americans.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 02:13 AM
4

This sounds similar to me. Not only did my ex walk out on me and my teen daughters, she didn't even want custody. She sees them once every 2 weeks and thinks that's being a mom.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 04:02 PM
1

Get gone - Fiona Apple
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:53 AM
9

Podcasts are the new lesbians?
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 12:15 AM
4

Remember that her "hating" you is a coping mechanism that allows her to justify her own decisions. Whether she didn't know who she was coming into the marriage, changed on a whim, or changed based on deep reflection doesn't really matter to you. It still hurts, though. As far as finding a sense of worth again, you can take some time and examine your life and revisit choices and compromises you made. Can you correct or undo some of those? Are there opportunities you passed up before that you shou…
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 12:22 PM
3

Yeah, gyms aren't really effective places for guys to meet women, but I am more likely to find someone who shares my love of fitness. I once asked about this in another forum and the majority of the women who answered were open to a friendly smile and/or hello, just don't aggressively hit on them. That said, the women who were against it REALLY hated the idea of being approached at all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:52 PM
2

?
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:47 PM
3

The places I most often look for women are in the grocery store or the gym. I am very cautious about approaching, though, because there is a very fuzzy line between guys approaching and guys being creepy. If I make eye contact and smile, I likely would welcome a hello or more. I think I am being sly, but if you notice me checking your left hand ring finger feel free to confirm single status. Bars likely have a higher chance of finding sex, but it is often subpar and/or regretted. Sun dresses, I …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 01:35 PM
1

The most depressed person I know does this. I have my doubts.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 04:33 AM
9

Well, where's the thrill of risking half of everything you've ever worked for in that arrangement?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:46 PM
5

What does your lawyer say? If you don't have your own, then get one. Did the lawyer recommend you move out? I am pretty sure you can force a quick sale of the home. It might be possible to have her buy out your share of the equity and assume the mortgage (assumable mortgage). How is child support and spousal support playing into all of this?
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 10:29 AM
6

Yeah, I got a warning for asking about the numerous comments encouraging a guy to respect his vows and commitment rather than look to a divorce because he was unhappy AND had engaged in years of therapy.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/24 02:39 PM
7

I can get the support for spouses who gave up their careers to raise the kids and take care of the house. BUT it should be capped at 3-4 years so they can rebuild a career. I don't understand why an 18 year old child is expected to build a career but a divorced woman is apparently incapable of it.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 11:08 AM
19

I'm on a singles/dating FB group. I would have left already but I am absolutely mesmerized by the number of women who proudly display their red flags. I have no idea where these expectations are coming from. We are apparently supposed to treat them like a queen, support them financially in every way, always be there for them, treat them the way they "deserve", and be in great physical shape. This despite the fact that they have no personal wealth, no real career, shitty, gossipy friends, done no…
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/24 02:24 PM
2

I feel sorry for what you had to go through, but what a nightmare (and also a bit funny at the absurdity of it all). I started with a lower level attorney because my ex and I were going to amicable. He suggested having her waive her rights to retirement and spousal support, and then he informed her that she needed her own lawyer. All that only pissed her off. In hindsight it was a dumb move by me, but I thought he knew what he was doing. Anyway, a few months into the process, he quits and i am t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 01:16 PM
2

There are many tips. Get outside for natural sunlight, especially in the morning, for help with your circadian rhythm. Exercise, but not too late, is also good to prep you for sleep. Don't eat too late - last meal 2-3 hours before sleeping. Go to bed later than normal. Guided meditations for sleep and stress relief. There are tons of sleep helpers such as melatonin, GABA, magnesium, theanine, HTP-5, ashwagandha, CBD, etc. I personally rotate them around so I don't get too tolerant of any particu…
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:39 PM
-1

He should have advised that the process would be drawn out and I should claim any debts even if small as the repayment is 100% out of my pocket but the repaid portion is split 50/50. He should have advised me to repay marital debts, fund 529s, and other things out of a joint account rather than being a good guy. He should disregard what I ask for, but he sure as he'll should have advised me when I was asking for something dumb.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:54 PM
2

Sounds like you're just looking for someone to blame. Well, yeah. I paid him a lot of good money to represent my interests to the best of his ability and not just do what I say based on my limited knowledge and experience.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:29 PM
15

My wife was sent overseas for an extended trip along with a male co-worker (i.e. just a friend). She basically came home with dried cum in her hair. Filed for divorce a few months later. I am so much better off for it, though. Came to find out my entire family and friends hated her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 04:15 PM
6

It's completely broken. My wife took care of our kids while they were infants and toddlers but gave up parenting after that. She provided no other support ever and never tried to build a career. She was dead weight for most the marriage. What gets me is how an 18 year old child is expected to become self sufficient in 4 years, but a 45 year old woman is apparently helpless to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 03:04 PM
4

All the main advice (lawyer up, hit the gym, get therapy) are superficial to the point of uselessness. However, they are simple to convey and remember. One really needs to know why they can useful, how to use them, and how to know if it isn't working. Of the three, I'd say therapy has the greatest potential to do long term damage if not done correctly. However, the worst advice I see here comes from the "alpha male/I now hate all women" group.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 01:15 PM
3

How long were you married? State laws typically allow for alimony for half the length of the marriage up to 20 years married which then becomes permanent. This varies by state. However, alimony can be whatever the two of you agree to. Because of the salary differential, she could definitely get alimony if she wanted. Either one of you could lie and paint the other person as really bad to sway the judge's decision.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/23 01:51 PM
4

Even if you hire your own lawyer, you still need to advocate for yourself. The lawyer gets paid the same whether they are working feverishly on a strategy to protect your interest or picking their nose. The most important part is protecting your assets, which the lawyer likely won't advise on at all beyond letting you know what the law says. However, the process will take time and thousands of dollars can be impacted if not managed well. If it is too your advantage, declare everything and go aft…
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 07:43 PM
9

In addition to working, I can't wait until she has to do taxes. Lol.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:19 AM
7

McDonald's has gotten expensive. You might suggest dumpster diving at the local grocery store.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 02:14 AM
2

I will eventually just give them to the kids and let them decide. I don't care for them though. It's a great question though. I am going through the burden of sorting my parents photos. I know those people were someone at some point, but I don't know them. Do they just get thrown in the trash?
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/23 01:45 AM
2

It depends on what he means by "bought a house". If it is paid off then it is a premarital asset. If he's been paying off the loan with an account she had access to then it may be seen as a marital asset.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/23 04:08 PM
12

she sees real change happening... She was a SAHM no education, no job skills, not a ton of real life experience. The real change was probably her first paycheck.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:25 AM
2

Nine more years of child support and 6-7 years of spousal support. If you have shared saving, roll as much as reasonable into the kid's 529. Get a separate account but pay ALL bills from the joint assets.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:59 AM
0

Once she realizes what she can get paid, she will have zero respect or concern for you. She will go for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/23 12:59 AM
–

I found it was more that once reality hits the low income earner, they become quite dialed in on squeezing out every last nickle no matter how friendly they were in the beginning.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:19 PM
–

LPT: If incomes are unequal, an amicable outcome is unlikely.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 04:02 PM
1

OK
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/23 01:07 AM
5

Luckily, the one at home is 17 and she can be quite self-sufficient. It is the scheduling and going to work, doctor's appointments, calls with the lawyers, booking vets, shopping, cleaning, etc. There just isn't enough time in the day.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 11:01 AM
2

I get that it can feel humiliating, that somehow you weren't "man" enough to keep. That can be the feeling and it is good to acknowledge it, but the truth is you've proved yourself to be more man than she can ever deserve. You are your child's parent and that is building a tremendous amount of love and accomplishment. This is the long game and you will win. You have won.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/23 10:59 AM
14

The system sucks. My wife just dropped every responsibility she had and walked away. I was "stuck" with two kids, three pets, a car, a home, and a parent with dementia - and all the upkeep and maintenance that involves. For this, I have to pay her over $1,000 month for 10 years.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 11:28 AM
4

You either trust what she discloses or you can hire a forensic accountant to look for these things. If you can find evidence of the loan, then I think you can enter that yourself. The court will not validate the truthfulness of what is disclosed for you. If the loan was taken out while you were married, then the responsibility to repay can be evenly divided, unless she agrees to assume 100% of it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 11:24 AM
3

You're in the best position to know if she is sincere or not, and if you want to continue being married. However, I would use the opportunity to protect your assets regardless.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/23 02:09 AM
1

You can make spousal support non-modifiable, but not child support. It is a gamble on how you think your future finances will turn out. If you think your income will continue to go up then make it non-modifiable. If you think your income will trend down, then keep it modifiable so you can lower the amount (or at least petition for it in court).
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/23 02:37 PM
3

To borrow the great comedian Bill Hick's words, "bear with me while I plaster on a fake smile and plow through this shit one more time." I've been cooking all the dinners since I can no longer afford to eat out or buy good wine.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 12:26 PM
5

Gray rock her as much as possible. If she states an opinion trying to wind you up, simply answer, "you may be right."
/r/Divorce_Men20/11/23 12:36 AM
4

One of the worst parts is leaving her with out notice or trying to talk to her about it. I used to get really bothered by my girlfriends' pasts. A friend once put it that we tend to think of a guy's sexual past as what we did, but a women's sexual past is what was done to her. That runs into issues of having their "purity" violated, or acknowledging that they're sexual creatures, or even sexual creatures that actively pursue their encounters. We tend to focus on the number of partners. However, …
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 02:15 PM
1

Same here. My second biggest regret after my marriage is agreeing to get pets. They are simply an unwanted expense, chores, and a constraint on living life. I also want to know how bitch-face gets to abandon all her responsibilities on me AND I have to pay her for it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 09:19 AM
5

Protect your money before you're fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 01:40 AM
11

Except for the money you spent to support. That part was just fine and they would love for it to continue.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 01:57 PM
15

Fully fund your child's college account and then split the left overs.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 05:58 PM
2

I'd say it varies from barely at all to absolutely 100%. I knew my first marriage was doomed before we were married. She was an evil witch, my family hated her, but I wanted to be married before 30 (and get laid). We got married exactly 1 year and 1 day after first meeting - far too fast. The marriage lasted 7 months before she cheated. At 9 months we filed and at 15 months the divorce was finalized. With this first one, there weren't just red flags, there were giant billboards with bright blink…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 02:10 PM
62

I put my wife's wedding ring at the bottom of a small creek where it is waiting for a couple of hobbits to discover it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/23 11:20 AM
1

Why would you want to read her messages on a fuck buddy app? Why would she want to show them to you? This is just so fucked up. Stop reading them and gray rock her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 11:33 AM
9

This is the truth. Just finalized a divorce after supporting my child-like ex-wife for 18 year. Now, no more stress, but i still have to support her for another 9 years and she took half the retirement funds with her. RIP OFF THE BAND-AID ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/23 10:56 AM
1

Qualified Domestic Relations Order which determines how retirement accounts are split. It is important because benefits should stop accruing to the ex from the date of separation. If your company vests your employer matching at a certain percentage per year of service this can be a significant concern. Say you separated when you were only 20% vested and the balance was low, then the divorce drags on for four years. You are now vested at 100% of the employer match PLUS four more years of contribu…
/r/Divorce_Men30/10/23 09:32 AM
8

Another important component is to look at the role we played in the divorce, because it is the only thing we can work on. Yes, I let myself go a bit. I got lazy at planning anything fun to do because I was worn out from work. I stuck with a job that was soul sucking and robbed me of any spark. I spent too much time scrolling Reddit or watching football. I let home projects linger half complete for weeks. I was OK with dishes sitting in the sink until tomorrow. Lots of shit I could work on me. Ti…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:39 PM
12

It isn't that much work, but I am only cleaning up after myself. I tend to not get so upset with the messes I make. On the other hand, the relentless effort it takes to clean up after a spouse and two kids with no help can be frustrating to say the least. That said, it is far from a full time job, but it can be mind numbingly dull especially when the rest of the family can be expected to come take a shit on all the work it took. Personally, the hardest part of housework is trying to think of dai…
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 04:12 PM
4

I'm in Virginia and the state will accept whatever the two of agree to tell them. We back dated our separation by 11 months to speed the process along.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/23 09:25 AM
2

Get a lawyer now and they will probably recommend a forensic accountant to help uncover all her assets. Do NOT rely on her doing the paperwork.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/23 10:08 AM
1

I’m at a loss why so many on this subreddit are so autocratic about it. Unfortunately, too much of the trendy "alpha" male garbage circulates here. Your comment is one of the more reasonable ones.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:30 AM
1

The year length is arbitrary, but it is important to get some separation and take an honest look at ourselves. Despite the complaining, most of us played a role in things moving to a divorce. We also need to work on being content with ourselves so we can be more aware of red flags and act in our best interest rather than shacking up with the first female to spread her legs for us. I personally recommend going on a single date just to assess where you are, which is likely completely unprepared to…
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/23 03:19 AM
1

I'm smarter than that Do not underestimate the potential for the divorce process to wear you down and push you over the edge at times. Parts of it are so illogical, so stacked against you, so infuriating. Gray rocking is likely a useful skill to learn at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 10:40 AM
3

Why is she telling you this? Possibly to wind you up? If you are "watching" her and getting confessions, then she can be doing the same. First one to file a TRO wins.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/23 09:24 AM
1

I’m still messed up from it. This is the key to me. If the trust is gone so it the relationship. It took a while but learning to accept that helped me more than anything. The other critical thing was, sadly, time. I just had to let time work its magic to build in what my new normal was and to dull the memories. That and Nana plaza.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 11:02 PM
23

Coming to grips with the fact that I needed a lot of self work. I went on one date and realized I was nowhere ready to date much less be in a relationship. It's not always a quick road to go from accepting that something needs to change, motivating to start making that change, and then going through the time and process it takes for the change to take hold. I wouldn't have wished freshly divorced/separated me on anyone.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/23 10:55 AM
10

You can always present it as 1) just the facts of what happened 2) couched in the context that sometimes people make difficult decisions to find what is right for them and a hope that she finds what she is looking for. The second part is to prevent any semblance that you are trying to harm their relationship with their mother. The first part is because they are smart enough to figure it out. My separation agreement contains the language: They will not belittle, berate, scorn, ridicule, or condem…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:21 PM
5

The more she gets the kids, the more you have to pay child support. On one hand, I get the view that a single stable place to live is probably preferred by the kids, but it opens up all kinds of problems on the parenting front. On the house, you can have that appraised and buy out her marital share in it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/23 12:15 PM
9

Practice makes perfect! Trust me, the fourth one will be awesome.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 10:10 PM
9

No idea. Luckily mine will finalize before he closes, but I will go way out on a limb and guess that my case wasn't his top priority for the last few months.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 09:44 PM
2

The lawyer is there for two reasons: 1) to manage the process and 2) to fight for and protect your assets and interests. You can ask the basic questions about what the process looks like, how long it will take, etc. Ask how many divorces they have handled previously. I'd also go over the basics of your case such as your financial situations, retirement accounts, significant assets, children, pets, etc. Be prepared to share that with them. You'll want to get a a good idea about where you are vuln…
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/23 09:56 AM
1

It's likely in your MSA that you both have input into your child's education. If she is acting to block that then it may be a case to bring the lawyer back in.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 05:25 PM
1

No. There's less than a year until the younger one turns 18.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 03:23 PM
2

LPT: Pineapple, jalapeno, and tomato slices is the ultimate pizza. Trust.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:41 AM
8

Pizza!!!! PIZZA!!!! WTF Bro! You are just hungry and you want to order another pizza in the hopes that the low quality artificially flavored ingredients release enough dopamine to get you through another day? Lol. Glad I read your whole comment. I am also thinking of renting out a room.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:19 AM
3

Zero. 100% custody to me.
/r/Divorce_Men08/10/23 02:14 AM
5

Thank you! The encouragement is greatly appreciated.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 09:49 PM
5

Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/23 06:53 PM
2

Where'd you have the best luck finding them?
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 10:18 PM
1

You've made me realize that the 401K that is split with the wife is frozen at the date of separation. I was wrong. I mentioned an IRA as just establishing a separate retirement account that cannot be considered martial property.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/23 10:11 PM
2

Seeing half of everything I worked for taken away while she was able to abandon every single responsibility she ever had. She got to shed everything and had no strings left attached. I am on the hook for the next 9 years because that stupid bitch couldn't group up and get a real job.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:59 PM
1

I'd likely do the bare minimum so she learns not to break any more court orders that impact you. Otherwise, why let her keep living in your head rent free?
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 05:22 PM
1

The main thing is to realize you can survive, but you will have to give up something and likely reset your standards. You should definitely have a budget so you know what your expenses are, and then look for areas where you can cut back expenses. My biggest areas were taking a serious look at food (beer and snacks can kill a budget) and "other" which included trips to Home Depot, Target, ordering from Amazon - just lots of unplanned shit I needed right then. There are other places I've cut too a…
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 04:46 PM
0

If you ruin your life, you will only be teaching your kids how to ruin theirs. Model the life you want them to have.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 05:26 PM
1

About ten years younger with at least three kids under the age of 5. A poor work history running through a series of dead end jobs. Mentally unstable with a tendency to starting fights over really petty issues. Breaks things to make a point. Occasionally cheats, but only when I deserve it. Runs up huge credit card debt. ...wait, what was the question again?
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 08:29 PM
1

and irrelevant. Like your comment and life.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 03:32 AM
16

Stick to things you have knowledge in.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 07:59 PM
1

This. I have a draft email asking to split that I wrote 5 years before we actually split.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 03:02 PM
33

For me, my parents were married for over 60 years. They had a rough patch where they separated for 3 years, but eventually got back together. Seeing them as life partners in their later years, looking out for each other and the love they had for each...wow. It is what I would want for myself and for my kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 02:44 PM
5

Yep. I am already considering a move to another country such as Panama, Costa Rica, or Vietnam where it is much cheaper to live. I was so GODDAMN close to retirement, and now it is now even in sight. The amount of anger I have is overwhelming.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 12:59 PM
6

Spousal support/alimony are both antiquated concepts. I get that it can protect a spouse who sacrificed their career to be a parent/homemaker, but it should only take a maximum of 2-4 years for an adult to establish themselves. It makes no sense that my 40 something STBXW needs support more than my kids who are just establishing themselves as adult, AND the fucking law obligates me to do it this way.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/23 11:33 AM
1

Conceptually, yes. I had set us up pretty well for a comfortable retirement. The divorce killed all that. Her selfishness killed that. I would love to be back in the same financial position, but I also hate her completely.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/23 09:43 AM
3

I think it depends on the market. You'll often see advice here to consult with all the good lawyers in town so your wife can't find anyone. I think lawyers had to start charging to curtail this type of behavior. If I had to do it again, then I would go with one who charges.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 07:46 PM
–

She either has made and accepted a plan to leave, or she's found someone else. Hard to say for certain, but she is definitely at peace with her future direction and that will not be the status quo.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 10:43 PM
–

My wife got absolutely offended when I wanted counseling so that we could communicate more deeply and be better connected. Months later we split on her actions.
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/23 01:51 PM
1

Establish the date of separation and make any spousal support non modifiable. It is usually established based on the prior three years of income.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 10:38 AM
1

Finally, a sensible comment.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 10:28 PM
1

Yeah, she was DTF first night too, This to me is the red flag. Is she had a ho phase a decade ago and had left it behind then I'd be fine with it. But she is clearly still open to it, although now she might shift the blame to guys not calling her back or dumping her to fast.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 10:23 PM
1

It wasn't clear, but when you separate accounts next month, do NOT split money from the first account into the second or you will have co mingled assets and simply created a second marital account. Keep records of what you are giving her, including child support. The law doesn't care about being nice and/or responsible.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 10:05 AM
1

In the US, but I am less interested in the casual sex which ironically seems to make it happen more often.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 06:43 PM
–

I've lived in Bangkok before and been through the whole pay for sex thing and it all left me feeling as used as my ex wife did. They'll fuck me in exchange for my money, which frankly, is a little too similar to my marriage. When I date, I do it because I genuinely like meeting new people and finding out about them, and I do it without agenda or expectation.
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/23 06:39 PM
3

There's a well known saying: It is far better to be from a broken home than in a broken home. I'm not clear if your spouse would be staying in the house or not, but the tone of your email indicates a need to resolve stress and anxiety as a priority. A smaller, more affordable home minus a toxic spouse will do wonders for you and your kids. Another way to think about is that staying in a stress and anxiety filled home will harm your kids and normalize behavior you don't want for them.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 10:40 AM
1

Financially, I would begin paying off all debt from marital accounts that will be split. Fully fund kids' college funds if that was a goal. I would tell myself it is going to taking much longer than I expect so don't let little things slide. Drop my lawyer for one who has vision and strategy instead of just billing a fortune to fill and file templates. Stop thinking of myself as head of a family and start thinking of and protecting my own space. Yes, take care of the kids, but they won't be able…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:44 PM
1

Alimony can be adjusted to match salary (up and down) any time up to retirement. If it is specified as modifiable in the marital separation agreement. If it is fixed, then salary changes don't matter - up or down.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 07:05 PM
–

They really do have a gift for picking the most inconvenient times, don't they.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 09:21 AM
1

The duality of man. Driven by the alpha male/Andrew Tate losers.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 12:41 PM
1

True. Plus there are plenty of women who also want sex without any commitment.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 08:22 PM
23

I don't blame her. I want to feel comfortable exploring her body all over and without fear. Who wants to eat pussy with a dental dam?
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 05:49 PM
2

You can get official copies of the birth certificate, and notarized copies of anything you can't. Whether it is you or her that gets them is up to you. She can also order transcripts from the IRS for all the tax filings. Personally, I think it is a petty fight not worth the time in larger scheme of things. Also, I doubt a judge would side with you for withholding these documents from you STBXW.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 11:28 AM
1

Vietnam
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 08:18 PM
2

Agreed. I would have done much better being fairer with the initial separation offering. I tried to "file hard" and all semblance of working together went out the window.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 05:01 PM
2

Conflict every decent Divorce Lawyer in Town Not at $250+ for each initial consultation.
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 04:58 PM
5

I was in a similar place many years ago. I caved to the homesickness and returned to the US. There is a reason for the saying: "you can never go home again." You change, people change, and places change. I quickly found myself over the homesickness and trapped back in the shitty rat race that is the US. Honestly, moving back to the US is my life's one big regret. Not only that, but my wife could never adapt and became more miserable with each passing year which I believe largely led to our divor…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/23 02:47 PM
11

.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 07:43 PM
1

.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 12:55 PM
11

Consider this subreddit. People who come her are either facing or considering divorce, many not wanting to and many not sure. The people who stay are, unfortunately, either in the process or or past it, and hurt and bitter. Someone asks a question and the default answer is usually: She's already got someone else picked out. She's already fucking someone else. She's already lawyered up. Lawyer up and leave. Counseling is a scam. You will almost never see advice to stay together and try to work on…
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 10:29 AM
1

Rent is generally higher than mortgage payments, although I am considering it after the kids move out.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 11:58 AM
3

Basically, I will get my first paycheck on the first of each month. I will pay my mortgage first, and the spousal support. After those two payments, I am negative $650. I haven't even paid for food, gas, retirement, nothing.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 09:06 PM
8

I'm a bit surprised that there's no recourse for it. Lol. Welcome to Reddit.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 05:21 PM
1

I sometimes think about, but then I remember she's screwed my life over for the next 9 years. Fuck her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 12:31 AM
1

Possibly, but I've seen no evidence that they're actually doing anything.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/23 10:25 AM
2

I imagine something like this.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 01:11 AM
15

It will but why does the legal system reward her to do so?
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 12:17 AM
2

heal completely What does this even mean? Therapists have the potential to abuse you as much as anyone. Moreover, there is no mention of dating or starting a new relationship. It is a single, one and done experience.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 11:25 AM
3

There was no validation or even any feedback from the woman. I put myself in a single situation and gained a much clearer understanding of where I am based on my own self-reflection.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 10:29 AM
1

Yep, emphasis on the "a" date and not dating. Do one and check in on how you feel.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:46 AM
1

We're in Virginia. Thanks for the insights.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 03:34 PM
3

Have you looked into just getting a mediator?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/21 08:47 AM
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