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durtyknees Archive

View 1 posts and 799 comments by durtyknees on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
16

DISCUSSIONdurtyknees/r/RedPillWomen06/04/18 11:48 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
3

but after 2 or 3 months he started to pull away After the novelty of the relationship wore off, he got bored of you. he said it was because he wanted to focus on his work and he had family issues going on This is the classic excuse people use to avoid trivial obligations. should I message him? Why would you even want to? There's no shortage of attractive exciting men in the world that you need to settle for one who has rejected you the way someone would turn down the offer to do a TED talk about…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/20 06:45 PM
3

The overwhelming majority of men aren't this way and never will be this way. Not with that attitude, no :p Most athletes aren't going to win medals, but the ones who win are the ones who put in the work to train, despite their odds. Most men (those who aren't fat) are in the 4 to 6 range in this chart: https://i.imgur.com/U3AnCZM.jpg Success isn't beyond their reach. Therefore, any advice that advises men to just be part of this top percentile is impractical advice. As is any advice that advises…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/20 07:14 PM
2

You don't. This applies in the common dynamic (the norm) where the woman is the prize. When a man achieves a level where his mere existence is seductive to most women, this man becomes the prize. This is one of the core seduction concepts at TRP, and this is what I meant when I said "high rewards" for men. . One is far more active than the other. While you're not wrong, general "rules" that apply to most men simply don't apply to top tier men (and this is why men are constantly told to self-impr…
/r/RedPillWomen08/03/20 11:49 AM
2

my full thoughts on the matter. Count me interested! . most men get frustrated from this game I'm of the opinion that TRP (TRP according to its founders, not whatever it has mutated into since the last I looked there) is the best resource for men to learn seduction with a good risk to reward ratio, compared to any other part of the manosphere. However, the biggest problem with recommending TRP to men, is that TRP is only intended for (only useful for) men who are smart enough to not mindlessly "…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/20 11:03 AM
2

TRP or the manosphere Manosphere is a category of sites that include the RP network, and TRP is part of the RP network that's originated and run by specific people. It's not really interchangeable when you get down to the details (where the devil is ;p). TRP ideas don't belong to any individual. No one can speak from authority. Authority is irrelevant in the context of our discussion: If we want to talk about what RP is about, it's important to be aware of its origins and the original intention …
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/20 07:36 AM
2

why would you want to lose your individuality in marriage? Two individuals with different skillsets can work as a unit and function separately as well. What I'm talking about won't fit into any zero-sum pigeonhole. People who don't (/don't want to) conform to any norms need to carve their own path to find personal fulfillment. Sure, anyone can follow time-tested advice like time-tested recipes and try to "make things work" (it's like cutting off the corners of a square to get a circle), but why …
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/20 05:07 AM
3

the cost of failure If one of us fails, it's not "you failed me", it's "we failed" (as a unit). This is related to what I meant about having a relationship dynamic that creates something more than the individual. The (traditional) reaction to incur a cost for failure is as illogical to us as punching yourself in the face if you made a mistake (there are people who think it's perfectly logical to punch themselves as a reaction to failure, of course :p) If one of us fails, we discuss and analyze t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 08:33 PM
2

Is he allowed While we're both "allowed" to fail each other (no real consequences for "failure"), we also know it's always something we actively try our best to avoid, because teamwork is baseline for any relationship to thrive. Teamwork doesn't happen without good (proactive) communication, and I think if most people prioritize clear communication, they could avoid most relationship problems. However, knowing how to communicate well (in general) isn't enough. You also need to vet for the type o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/20 08:30 AM
8

It's roleplay in the short term, and actual submission in the long term, because we are defined by (we eventually become) what we do. My husband gets off most on my submission because I give it freely and eagerly from a position of advantage (I don't have to submit, as much as I don't actually need him for protection nor provision). He's of the opinion that submission given out of necessity becomes a burden/obligation, instead of providing him joy. He doesn't really need anything I contribute to…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/20 09:12 PM
1

Not only that, she is smart, has a graduate degree, excellent career and owns a home. It's refreshing to see a comment like this here. More often than not, men with no interest in marriage come here to lecture women about how a woman's achievements aren't important to men (this is valid at TRP because marriage isn't the goal there). Any woman here who is married to a high quality man know that's simply not true, no matter how many men thumping the TRP-bible insists it's true.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/19 05:33 PM
4

attacking me read my post very carefully If you've read my reply without personal hangups, you'd realize it wasn't an "attack". as they will be angling for increasingly skeptical men The better strategy would be to aim for intelligent men capable of thinking for themselves (you know, men who don't behave like mindless robots). Men who don't/can't vet well are men with lousy judgement. Such men don't even trust themselves, and because of that, they have trust issues in general. Such men are unwor…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 09:01 PM
6

she won't get her foot in the door unless her body is at least someone competitive with the robots. Will that be possible as robots improve? Men who are at a level in their life where they could have anything they want, will always want what is not freely given to them. Robots, ultimately, do not have free will, otherwise they'd be considered sentient beings. The value of a real woman is much more than just pleasant company and a flexible sexy body (things that a robot can theoretically provide)…
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/19 05:27 PM
1

I am all out of ideas!! In the almost two decades I've known my man, I've learned that memorable experiences are more valuable in the long term, compared to material gifts.
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 08:09 PM
1

OP definitely deserves a +1 for her post (great general advice). If you've not mentioned it, I would've. What's interesting to me about your comment: For example, I can question a girl friend’s actions 20 times (would that diet really work? Why are you going for it?) and she’d still feel like I respect her. Girls tell each other what to do, and push each other around, and it's all good. Is this considered the norm? I can't relate, since I have zero respect for any woman (/man) who badgers me wit…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/19 07:48 PM
7

Congrats! <3 I learned the importance of taking things slow and properly vetting before getting too involved- arguably the most useful thing I did for this relationship. Yes it is. The rest of your post is also solid advice. u/pearlsandstilettos: +1 please? I would've starred this post too, but I haven't been around much recently to notice :p
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/19 05:01 AM
1

need to know what is going on out there just so I can understand other people's attitudes and perspectives This is admirable. . it centers around theory that I will not accept as truth What I learned reading TRP: it's only truth if you can use that theory to achieve predictable results, otherwise that theory needs to be revised. . I read this exact comment "women have no souls" just a couple of days ago on a RP site It was probably intended as advice that could help even men of the lowest qualit…
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 11:22 PM
7

Women are water that takes the shape of the vessel it is poured into. Women have no souls. There are many ways to interpret "takes the shape of the vessel", but "no soul" is new and fascinating to me.
/r/RedPillWomen11/11/19 08:05 PM
5

I do know what I want it’s more of a question on how to deal with an insecurity of mine a valid one because red pillers do a great job at perpetuating stigmas and making you feel crazy as is. If you're coffee and you want a Mormon to drink you, then be irresistible coffee. Stigma schmigmas. Being insecure coffee won't give you the results you want.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/19 09:13 PM
1

Ahh! Bruce Lee lives on through Whisper's posts :D
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:48 AM
1

As long as you're a well-adjusted adult, who you really are is what makes you (an individual) stand out as the most desirable woman to a man (also an individual) who is right for you. Personal example: I do a lot of "cool girl" things (the Gillian Flynn definition, and btw "Gone Girl" is a very entertaining book, I highly recommend it), with the difference being I'm not pretending or doing any of it just "to get a man" (I'm bi, getting women are just as good!) I just sincerely enjoy "masculine" …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:32 AM
1

So sorry for the late reply! (I wasn't expecting a response and didn't check in for a few days lol..) I was just quoting what u/Whisper posted before. I wasn't aware Bruce Lee said them too (I'm uncultured like that). Another Whisper Classic: water (/a woman) takes the shape of its container (/a man who inspires her to be whatever he wants her to be, without having to make any demands). Reading back on my previous post, I realize I forgot to elaborate on a few things: On the topic of femininity …
/r/RedPillWomen09/11/19 12:04 AM
5

Women can take quite a roughing up, literal or metaphorical, if they know their interests are being looked out for by the person doing it. You say this because you're a (very) rare man who have actually experienced the real rewards of having women in your life. Men who have never experienced this wouldn't know how to correctly interpret your message if they're not smart enough to consider your message in the context of the messenger (an individual with experience that they lack). Because of this…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/19 09:09 PM
4

acting like acknowledging their existence is somehow a threat to anyone else?? Since it's become "trendy" with the help of social media, it is a threat to children who don't know any better. the exploding social trend that has developed into a significant transgender contagion – now even an epidemic – that has captivated yong children as well as young adults who have come to believe they’re the opposite sex on just the weight of social media and feelings … in some cases taking drastic measures t…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/19 02:05 AM
7

I need some advice, my mind is going crazy and I don’t know what to do. Educate yourself: https://www.womenshealth.gov/relationships-and-safety/sexual-assault-and-rape/sexual-assault (especially the section: "What do I do if I’ve been raped?") https://medlineplus.gov/sexualassault.html Anyone should read these before having any sex, imo.
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/19 01:42 AM
3

Do I have to sacrifice my life in order to please the other person? Asking the wrong question :p Some facts: If your new man marries you, he's the type of man who would marry a woman who cheats on her husband. If your new man is a smart man, he wouldn't marry you. So the real question is: how good are you at gambling? If you want to marry your dream guy, the best you can hope for is a not-smart new husband. A man with a track record of making bad life-changing decisions (a legal marriage is not …
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/19 04:53 PM
4

In a bucket of crabs (the typical FSM or any consensus-centric community/group), there will always be some crabs that are unable to climb at all (because of whatever dysfunction). For most crabs, there's always the chance of escape, even if they're busy sabotaging each other. For dysfunctional crabs, escape is something that's unrealistic to even hope for. They might not even be capable of sabotaging others! So the options available to them are either glorify the bottom of the bucket and talk ab…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/19 02:59 PM
3

No matter how much of a "lifestyle" some people think BDSM is, it's still completely irrelevant when you're interacting with random strangers in public spaces. Also, because of the exaggerated leader/follower dynamic in BDSM, the person who follows (slave/sub/bottom) is even more a reflection of the quality of their leader (Master/Dom/Top), compared to the typical C/FM dynamic. As we all know: like attracts like! Basically, the more low value a person is, the more desperately they'd virtue-signa…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/19 05:29 AM
2

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! Strong instinctual experiences will firstly fuel irrational decisions and secondly create trauma. Yes. RP is useful to be aware of typical gender-related instincts (whether or not it applies to an individual), so you can make better decisions. my line of thinking which is more of a more complete framework by mapping how our needs and fears manifest based on gender differences There's no conflict between establishing this framework and using strategy. After all, …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/19 05:21 AM
4

What kind of woman will a man marry? A woman who warms his heart the way that nobody else he's ever met is able to do. What she does to achieve this depends on the individual (what she can offer, and what he wants in a wife). For example, I don't have a warm personality, but being an infinite source of deadpan humor seems to make up for it, as far as my man is concerned. This doesn't mean I'm a funny person (I don't think I'm funny, either :p), it simply means my husband (an individual) thinks I…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/19 03:48 AM
2

I don't respond to verbal appreciation either (not my love language :p), so I can relate!
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/19 03:06 AM
3

redpill is about honoring and adhering to how women and men approach sex, commitment and relationships differently - because of different biologies. Yes and no: "Redpill" is about effective strategies that produce predictable results --- it's about what works, and less about adhering to a guideline if it doesn't get you what you want. It's a pitfall to think you can just project your own mindset to the other person when they're a different gender. Yes, and it's also a pitfall to project on someo…
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/19 02:59 AM
2

The nutshell is that nobody (not even actual maids) want to be unpaid maids, regardless of gender. "Payment" isn't necessarily about money. For example, we often "pay" for things by giving our time and effort.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 11:05 PM
2

I guess if you create something for people who believe traditional gender roles are rooted in something real as opposed to being a social construct, you will also attract people at the outer limits of insane conservativism. Since humans are a social species, many things are social constructs, including "traditional gender roles" (not to be confused with what a person is inclined to do, according to their gender). The only difference between tradcon and feminism is the shape of the pigeonhole. Th…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 10:56 PM
1

If someone isn't picking up after themselves, they're creating extra work for the person having to clean up after them. A husband creating extra housework is similar to a wife who spends her husband's hard-earned money excessively. So either divide responsibilities fairly, or make the effort to minimize the need for the work in the first place, otherwise it's a recipe for long term resentment. Love languages is a good way to approach this discussion. Of course, you could have different standards…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/19 10:13 PM
3

We love each other unconditionally. This rely on the condition that neither of you ever change, and blatant mistreatment never happens (also a condition). We are committed to each other. There's a difference between staying committed, and staying in love. Couples who hate each other can stay together for various reasons.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 01:28 AM
1

Unconditional "pure" love is something that Dylans sell, because if a woman he "loves" can't keep him satisfied, he can just spread the "love" to another woman. Of course, any man can also hamster himself to "stay in love" with a woman who hasn't earned his love, if he's a masochist or someone with very limited options. Love is love. Just like nothing is nothing.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/19 12:56 AM
3

what do you give and what’s an equal & fair return The value of what's given/received (what's considered fair) depends a lot on the individual, and it could be very different from my examples (everyone is different <3), so I can only speak for myself : Most of it goes back to "love languages", but I'm of the opinion that they're only useful as starting points for better communication, because the concept's range can be quite limited. How much a man loves you (his commitment and willingness to sa…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/19 05:22 AM
3

When I say, “give everything,” I don’t mean martyring. Definitions could be blurry, depending on individual experiences and impressions, so I apologize if I'm using the wrong words. By "martyr", I'm referring to people who give with the assumption/expectation that the receiving person would always do the right thing, and never change. Most people change a lot during their teens and 20s, which is why people who marry in their late 20s/early 30s have the most stable marriages (there're studies for…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/19 03:35 AM
2

I'd be happy to clarify, but which part of what I said would you like examples for? I have a bad habit of rambling when I'm not given limits lol
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/19 02:48 AM
7

women who have been married for decades. Who give everything and then get blindsided. That's what they did wrong: give everything :p The longer I've been married and the more I've mingled with long-married people, the more I notice that people who are comfortably married (strict monogamy also make things extra comfortable) tend to take things for granted. Even if they think they are being grateful, they consider a lot of daily luxuries to be mundane, which make most novelties (what other people …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/19 02:13 AM
3

What would your advice be for me? You are what you do --- your actions, all the tangible, objectively-measurable facts. If you want to be someone different, do what that someone would do, and you'd become that person. Your past matters to a certain extent, but it doesn't mean you can't change, if you're someone who wants to change badly enough (whether you succeed depends on how much you want it). Personal example: "Love" isn't something I process as an emotion, because it's something that I exp…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/19 03:47 PM
37

you won't have to pursue him. Acting like the man repels men. You can "pursue" without being "like a man". My first interaction with my now-husband was walking past him with a carnivorous smile and suggestive eyebrow acrobatics --- he laughed and that little feel-good moment left a lasting impression on him. I made a point to regularly show up in his life (this is easiest to do when you are both at the same places on an almost-daily basis). "Hey handsome"/"Hey beautiful" became our usual exchang…
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/19 02:17 AM
1

Happy to help <3
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 10:33 PM
6

Most relationship problems are a result of: Not knowing how to choose the right partner for you (not knowing how to vet well). Not knowing how to communicate effectively (often goes together with poor social skills). I’ve decided to go into nun mode for a short time (3 months) and would like to maximize it Socialize more, and focus on learning how to be a good judge of character and how to communicate clearly with grace. We have a vetting guide in the sidebar, but you can also find general vetti…
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/19 01:36 AM
3

Why on earth did it matter to me where he put a tupperware? It matters (on an instinctual level) because a person's habits/actions are a reflection of the contents of their mind (/mental state). I'm highly motivated to serve my husband because everything he does tells me I'm always on his mind (my preferences, needs, idiosyncrasies, etc). If I slip up, it's only because I made a miscalculation. I don't recall ever feeling resentment with him. The key is clear communication, such as discussing wh…
/r/RedPillWomen22/09/19 03:36 AM
2

typically all-round pleasers I'm average in the "forgettable" category, which is always handy for nefarious purposes. . the light stuff really does enable movement It snags on things too! That's what irks me most :p My favorite material for snug clothing are the thin stretchy "polyester blend" types (but not the athleisure types), so there's no restriction of movement. Since synthetics aren't enviro-friendly, I always try to repurpose anything that aren't total rags. . Eastern European folk styl…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/19 01:01 AM
3

Yes, it's painfully limited in perspective. So much that it doesn't even hold its own from a Christian perspective. :p It's disappointing to see many people here are quick to mindlessly "swallow" something that even the target demographic rejects. People who are lucky enough to have lived a charmed life take so much for granted.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/19 11:36 PM
7

School, but it's complicated because I stalked him (no bunnies were boiled) and played the long game.
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/19 02:20 AM
10

on the bad days a giant rock is just going to mock you when you look at it. I pity anyone who downvoted this hilarious piece of wisdom all the way to the bottom of the thread.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/19 07:19 PM
8

Women are conformist in nature more so than men. This is a fact, and you are taught this when learning social psychology. women find it hard to be feminine simply because it goes against what society is saying. Yet at the same time, femininity is natural and inherent in women. They wish to conform to relieve themselves of the social pressures By being feminine in one way makes them less feminine in another. This paradox creates a lot of internal conflict . if any of you are interested This is in…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/19 06:50 PM
4

Nothing you mentioned here sounds like a problem to me, so I looked through your post history out of curiosity and found: unless people know my actual age, I'm not taken seriously. I have a very happy go lucky demeanor. But my voice is pretty high pitched (its not like i have lots of room for long vocal cords.) Pair an almost valley girl accent and this demeanor and people call me ditzy and dingy. If you talk/behave like Mrs Midwest (YouTuber that's like a Disney princess who goes to church), th…
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/19 02:26 AM
2

You know, I just realized I forgot to reply your other post yesterday (or day before, depending on timezone lol), sorry! . I was aware of the perks and encouraged to enjoy them. I always got much more of those perks because of that. I smiled, dressed up. I looked great. I find that I could look "feminine" wearing anything, as long as it's form-fitting, and doesn't signal religious, ignorant, nor attention-whore :p Loose clothing are so uncomfortable to me.. I can never understand why many people…
/r/RedPillWomen07/09/19 04:36 AM
2

we'll be Optimus Prime! We'd die a lot, but at least we'd never stay dead! inside info It's not a secret :p Anyone who reads (TRP) Vanguard articles (and their comments) would know that those running the "official RP network" of subs are non-tradcon, regardless of the type of people these subs attract. I think other "RP" subs that are not in the "official RP network" are fully tradcon, and newcomers get very confused because of this. The predisposition for pro-tradcon advice in RP subs (in gener…
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/19 11:51 PM
2

implying Surely you know I don't do such things :p You wouldn't be endorsed if you were tradcon either (just FYI :p). If women need to conform to "gender roles" to be considered a proper "feminine woman" (femininity/gender is determined by behavior and dress code), then: Gender is a social construct (not determined by biology), and consequently: Trans = RP-compatible (and people wonder why trans women wander into this sub lol) I identify as a robot, so I only process measurable facts. Anything t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 07:55 PM
3

haha Never! <3 Literal advice is easier to put to practice, in the context of what we talk about in this sub. Determining commitment rely entirely on the individuals involved, and it varies too much. Sometimes there's only "as good as it gets" when it comes to general guidelines. For example: a prolonged, indefinite engagement (or similar promise of marriage) is actually a strategy for some players to get sex from women who would otherwise not put out. While a non-player could believe what they …
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/19 03:02 AM
3

Yours is the best answer for OP's question about general/generic advice, was what I meant. I'm confused about philosophical discussions lol Maybe I used the wrong expression, sorry!
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/19 06:32 PM
3

This is probably as good as it gets, for actionable general advice.
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 09:31 PM
2

lol Speaking of linguistics.. and going back to the thread's topic: I wonder if people here mostly stay within limited social bubbles, since nobody has even implied awareness that "Gender Euphoria" is a transgender term (anyone who mingles with liberals would know this). Since this sub is, as you've put it: "a safe space for sexism", I find this most amusing, as a bisexual non-tradcon :p For those lazy to google: Gender Euphoria: The feeling a trans person gets when he/she/they are able to start…
/r/RedPillWomen01/09/19 09:07 PM
6

It's likely the criteria shift from person to person Yep. I'd like to hear your criteria for commitment Mine isn't practical as general advice because I don't give my commitment without legal marriage, while other women are way more concerned about their man's commitment (imo, that's a terrible way to vet :p) a somewhat more objective criteria from an aggregate of responses may be more useful in advising members of the community Verbal commitment/promises may be arguably "objective", even tho "w…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/19 07:59 PM
3

As far as I've noticed in common usage, petting is for animals (including unicorns) and if it's referring to people, it implies treating them like how you'd treat an animal. Patting refers more to people and non-animals, like patting down cookie dough in a pan :D There's the "spirit" of the rules, and there's being technically correct, but this particular rule is quite open to interpretation. Not only is it based on a metaphor, it's also paradoxical, since the (T)RP definition of a "unicorn" = "…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/19 07:28 PM
3

I take joy both in the physical and the cultural aspects, personally. And you rock it! And yeah, my point doesn't diminish the validity of yours, it just expands on the topic (physical perks that are innate to people who are born female helps baby-making too). Your ability to understand this is why I love you (but patting isn't allowed here, so just take my heart: <3 ) so many downvotes haha I was hoping for more, actually. Generally, my posts tend to upset peevish/confused men the most, and ple…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/19 07:59 AM
2

my actual views cause outrage enough While I can totally relate to this experience, I'm also of the opinion that anyone who finds your honest views in this sub offensive, simply don't belong here. Many guys hang out in this sub because they think "submissive women" won't tell them to fuck off. These guys only give advice intended to benefit men, such as discouraging women from vetting hard. As for me, if I haven't caused enough outrage, it's usually because I didn't make my honest views short an…
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/19 07:56 AM
2

PSA: If causing outrage is something you enjoy, you'd find that itchy badge very useful for boosting your outrage-causing potential here :p
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 10:51 PM
2

Gender is about what you are, not how/what you "feel" you are. . your role as a woman? I enjoy doing both "feminine" and "masculine" things because doing such things don't make me any less of a woman, nor does it mean I'm "trying to be a man" by doing them. I truly despise this "gender war" culture that many people seem to promote. People have this crazy need to cram everything into false dichotomies. You're not a man-hating feminist just because you prefer not to conform to whatever "traditiona…
/r/RedPillWomen30/08/19 09:47 PM
2

the loving and caring and being able to make a change and help out a little - that is the wholesomeness. If everyone in the world were wholesome like this, we wouldn't need any "__ism"s to (try) get (some) people to not be assholes. While I know how to be loving and caring, it always wears me out because it's not my true nature. However, career robots like me are only useful when there's chaos and catastrophe, because we think panic is unproductive, and therefore illogical :p . this itchy badge …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 10:41 PM
5

As a completely-unwholesome childfree heretic, I'm confused why you think there's anything wrong with wholesomeness, and I have missed you.
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/19 09:54 PM
2

Two things are not mentioned in your post: apologizing for your mistakes, and whether you praise/compliment/show appreciation to him on a daily (or at least regular) basis. I think these two things would make the biggest difference. . My husband and I don't normally argue How you treat each other on good days also make a difference on your ability to forgive and support each other on bad days. . He said that he felt like he couldn't make a right decision in my eyes Be consistent with showing gra…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 09:20 AM
2

That's the theme song from House. Oh yeah, I totally forgot about that! Btw, I hope I wasn't too vague about my answer. I was trying to get straight to the point, but reading back what I said, I have doubts lol Love isn't something I process as an emotion, because it's something that I express through my actions, and I always communicate before I do anything (I give love the way my loved ones want to be loved --- some would refer to this as using "love languages", but I just think of it as havin…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/19 08:37 AM
2

Love: love is a verb; love is a doing word.
/r/RedPillWomen27/08/19 09:29 AM
18

let the situation slide for the sake of maintaining a bond of peace and confidence This entirely depends on the situation. There's a big difference between situations where the outcome is inconsequential, and situations where the outcome would cost you. Hamstering about having "confidence" in (/"respect" for) a man who makes costly mistakes on a regular basis is passive doormat behavior. Doormats are very replaceable, which is why being a doormat won't earn you commitment from men who can easily…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/19 08:03 PM
4

Some things just need time to fall in place. Remember to always be kind to yourself <3
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 08:06 PM
4

That’s how small a town it is I’ve seen women approached just sitting around doing nothing and that never happens to me I just think that guys don’t feel confident enough. I grew up in a rural (island) community, and this is only my opinion based on my experience: Anything a small town resident is seen to do in public becomes part of their reputation (reputation = how everyone else treats you, and it can determine your quality of life). You're highly likely to keep bumping into the same people r…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 07:08 PM
2

taking responsibility for ones self! Exactly. Doing this also simplifies most things in life. Regardless of gender, you can only truly control your own actions --- and this is also why you're always responsible for your actions, even if you don't want to take responsibility (something that many people don't seem to understand lol) Your happiness is also not someone else's responsibility --- and if you look at everything in life from this angle, you'd find so many things to be grateful for (inste…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 03:12 AM
2

every day will be a good day I personally don't consider mundane things to be boring, and exciting things are common/typical if you always aim for improvement, in general. . posts that offer drama of some sort seem to get more traction From what I've observed: catchy titles, drama, damseling, or dumbed-down-ness works well :p For example, a 160+ upvoted "advice" in a recent but now-deleted thread (self-centered OPs always delete their threads) : "If a man likes you, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, y…
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 12:35 AM
2

You deserve more, imo. Alas, I can only give stars, and only one at a time :p I've always been a fan of your thoughtful and actionable advice in this sub, and how you always handle all kinds of replies with grace <3
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/19 12:33 AM
4

Daily love rituals are one of the most powerful "emotional anchors" in a relationship. ( definition of such "anchoring" ) Typical pop-culture romantic declarations of "You are my sun and stars!" or "You're my one constant, my guiding light!" are all referring to emotional anchoring. If you want your partner to prefer being monogamous and completely addicted to you, this is how you do it (speaking from experience :p) I consider daily displays of affection the very foundation (sure, it's "mundane"…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/19 09:23 AM
9

is proposal not a commitment thing? A woman's commitment also needs to be earned by her man. In this sub, we talk a lot about men being gatekeepers of commitment because the type of man most women are attracted to (a generalization) are men with abundance mentality. Having abundance mentality also benefit women, because it'd help us vet better instead of just settle for the first decent guy who made a good impression on our parents (the good old "traditional way" :p). Women gatekeep sex, so havi…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 09:01 PM
18

Any mods reading this (u/pearlsandstilettos or u/LuckyLittleStar ?) : I'd like to give a star to the OP, please? For good advice that also generates good discussion <3 What's your partner's after-work decompression ritual? My husband's very particular about his meals being freshly cooked, so I don't make dinner until after he's already settled in to do his own thing while I leave him alone to make dinner. We both work, but I try to get home before he does, to greet him at the door. On days where…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 05:00 AM
1

These are all good guidelines for vetting: someone who is dependable, someone who is reliable and consistent. Someone who is intelligent and good with customers. You would want someone who has respect for themselves, others and you. Someone who solves conflicts in a positive way and someone who isn't afraid or above doing the dirty work like cleaning the toilet or firing employees that aren't making the cut. You would want someone with ambition, vision even. Someone good with finances and takes …
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/19 02:15 AM
4

It can be easier for people who know how to adapt and develop new strategies (different from what worked for previous generations) and for those who know how to use the current culture to their advantage (and this is what RP is about). In a world where most women are harpies, you stand out merely by virtue of being sane and showing you're capable of empathy. I'm not even talking about being sweet and docile, because in the long term, men value accountability and loyalty much more than playing an…
/r/RedPillWomen19/08/19 09:38 PM
5

I'm not always going to want to do everything he wants me to do. I wouldn't even date a guy who doesn't inspire enough trust and respect from me, to earn my submission. If my husband wants me to do something, he'd have a good reason, and I wouldn't question his decision in front of his friends (or in front of anyone, really). If I know I can't play a game well, I'd play and enjoy being terrible at it, and if anyone questions what I'm even doing, I'd say it was my husband's plan to make everyone …
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 07:45 PM
2

I’m curious what I can do, outside of playing dress up, to show that femininity. "Dress up" is often associated with femininity because women have a wide range of options to choose from, compared to men. I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not Being flexible is about expanding the range of your potential (what you can/can't do, to be more than just "enough"). A child plays dress-up to pretend to be an adult. An adult learns how to dress well because they're well-adjusted. but I do want t…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 07:23 PM
2

The story you're telling us today (archived in case of edits: http://archive.is/JLIs5 ) is different from the story of the same relationship you've told before here: http://archive.is/DvKoV and here: http://archive.is/F2hii TL;DR: "abusive" is only mentioned in today's story.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/19 04:14 AM
4

Happy I could help, and thank you for reading all that <3
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/19 05:27 AM
12

The RP ideal is: don't even date a guy if you feel compelled to withhold anything. What this means in practice is: only date a guy who makes you crave to "give it all" to, and don't withhold for the sake of gaining leverage. What men tend to not understand: When you withhold, you're doing it because you need more time to figure out if he's worthy of your trust and respect, because most of what makes a man attractive is his behavior, and this takes time to observe, analyze, and realize. Withholdi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/19 04:59 AM
11

If he can’t see that then he isn’t the guy for me. Yep! We actually have a lot in common and get along well. Guys like this are easy to replace. A guy that's hard to find is a guy who actually love (not just "like") you for the specific combination of traits that makes you valuable to him as an individual, and such a guy would stay in love for up to 2 years even if you're a terrible girlfriend (I used to be a terrible girlfriend, so I'd know :p).
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 08:56 PM
25

With this particular guy, it doesn't seem like you have anything that interests him other than sex (I only know what you've mentioned in this thread, so this is just my impression). The type of guy worth dating is a guy for whom you have more to offer than just sex. Just for example: a guy who thinks you're funny and smart would continue to talk to you daily because you're a source of joy for him. It's also not hard to do, because you don't have to be funny/smart/etc for every guy ever :p You ju…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 07:07 PM
70

I’m a 24F and I’ve been dating a 31M for a couple months 2 months is barely a fling, and it has cooled off already :p We have been intimate in certain ways such as foreplay and oral but have not had PIV sex And you're not even fully withholding sex. We were making out and things got hot and he started putting on a condom. He did that because you lead him on with sexual acts. I stopped him short and said, I’m sorry but I’m just not ready. Your actions do not match your words. If you can't make up…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/19 06:46 PM
2

Likewise, I always appreciate you taking the time to reply or acknowledge. But if at any time I sound like a cactus-sniffer to you, please tell me! :p Since I'm here to learn and improve, I'm only interested in whether I'm understanding (and expressing) things correctly, than being correct at all.
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 07:35 PM
2

Whoaaaaaaaaa? See this is why I don't post my own threads here, and I go out of my way to test how far I can describe anything before what I'm trying to communicate falls apart entirely :p And what's "crazier": I'm not even saying you're wrong in any of your posts here (well, not in my definition of "wrong", anyway :p). I honestly can't tell if this is obvious in my choice of words, because I always rely too much on non-verbals to communicate in person. Your perspective is that of the majority o…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/19 03:54 PM
2

I see men being disgusted with high N-count women. (Degrees vary from man to man). The stereotype for high n-count is reckless behavior (and similar issues like substance abuse, mental illness, etc). Men (and anyone with a brain) are disgusted by reckless behavior and all the other icky things associated with that stereotype. It's less about the n-count itself, and more about what it suggests --- whether or not it's true is irrelevant to the initial impression. Likewise, a woman who gives people…
/r/RedPillWomen03/08/19 12:02 AM
2

I love your analogies, and I think they're very accurate. I was with my boyfriend four years and never knew how bad the sex was til I tried it with someone new. So glad I did. This is why all men would choose a virgin woman, when all else is equal, hoping her ignorance would keep her loyal (you won't crave for what you don't know of --- and while we're at it, let's praise the virtues of sheltering women from nasty things like knowledge, thinking, and ideas!) . in this day and age I think it woul…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/19 03:50 AM
6

Male attractiveness is almost entirely behavioral, so it could take time for a discerning woman to gather enough information to be able to feel attraction on the level of weak knees.
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 10:51 PM
1

They keep asking me how they can secure Mr. Right into a stable marriage without any risk of being used for sex, dumped, etc. IMO, they're too busy being concerned about things that don't actually matter, but if I made this outrageous statement, both women and men who browse this sub (despite Vanguard advice to guys to not read RPW :p) will get their panties in a bunch. It starts with knowing what you want, because not knowing what you want is like traveling without a reason nor destination. Mos…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 10:16 PM
3

You're most welcome! Reading back what I said, I think I should elaborate on a few things, just for better clarity (I hope you don't mind me rambling lol). If anything is vague/confusing, feel free to ask! My advice is intended for vetting guys who are "very experienced" when it comes to women and sex --- they've seen all the typical "tactics" women use to avoid sex, and usually have their own effective strategies to get past them --- been there, done that, sold some tshirts. The more desirable …
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 08:23 PM
10

What are some good ways/polite ways to reject sexual advances If you want to avoid ever having to deal with STDs and abortions/unwanted/unplanned children, always talk about these topics before sex, including what protection you intend to use. Ask him if he's been tested for herpes (he may be asymptomatic, and he may have gotten it from a kiss from a relative when he was a child), because they don't test for that in standard tests. Ask him what he would do, if you got pregnant, despite using pro…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/19 04:38 AM
2

As always, thanks for your reply! I'm still scratching my head over how to describe various concepts (those off the beaten trad-con/older-RPW path) to write something that's useful for this sub, and reading what you have to say helps me slowly figure out how to frame things better.
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 07:56 AM
3

because all men resent it Pffft, all women also resent giving anything they don't naturally feel compelled to give. The transaction mindset is the result of women often settling for Mr. Good Enough (or Mr. High-Social-Status who is enthusiastically approved by all girl friends, family, church, and random strangers). Attraction can't be negotiated, and when there's not enough attraction to inspire automatic giving, the hamster will work on greasing the hamster-wheel with transactions. No amount o…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 04:20 AM
4

there are usually some rules Yes and no. For personal romantic relationships, "rules" mainly apply for the majority (55% is considered a "majority", so exceptions are not that rare nor special :p). Definitely check if the general rule-of-thumb works for you first, but don't be discouraged if you have to do the hard work to figure out what actually works for you, because you're an individual too. If I was a good girl who followed all the "rules", I wouldn't be happily married to a man I actually …
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/19 11:08 PM
20

How do you show him your value as a partner and be "wife material"? This depends on the individual guy. Imagine that every guy comes with a metaphorical basket (or box, or some container) that you need to fill up with things that make you attractive to him, and he'd only consider you "wife material" if you can fill up his basket. Men with abundance (the mindset) have huge baskets (their commitment is much harder to earn), while the average guy mostly operates on scarcity and have small baskets t…
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/19 09:33 AM
3

The dismissive replies your post here has generated (especially from the OP.. so much for practicing what they preach! :p) is both highly amusing and disappointing. Both you and OP have valid points, with the only difference being semantics. But instead of empathizing with your perception and expanding on clearer definitions, and having a discussion (which someone truly impartial would do), counterpoints are emphasized, and your post is downvoted instead lol
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/19 06:21 PM
1

not opening up to the possibility of sharing a man sounds overly-restrictive. Since I'm neither a good girl nor trad-con, I certainly relate to what you're saying. However, even in the pro-freedom crowd, I'm an outlier because I'm married. "Sharing a man" is the perspective of a straight woman, imo. From my bisexual point of view, it's just "why Mr. Husband, you have excellent tastes in women", because I enjoy other women and variety too (we're not poly, we just swing). But this sub isn't about …
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/19 04:49 AM
1

While I refuse to decide for internet strangers how much risk they should tolerate, this kind of "greater beta" strategy seems to me to be a bit like trying out for the olympics with dreams of bronze. People have higher risk tolerance when they're outcome-independent. Most women (most people) do not have abundance. And what's worse, women who have fully "swallowed" RP concepts are even more worried about keeping things in the "safe zone", because "increasing your n-count = doom and despair". And…
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/19 05:23 AM
11

My parents didn't behave like parents, and caring for my younger siblings before I was an adult drained any maternal instincts I might have had. I've always been childfree and only dated childfree men, and eventually married one. You can't choose your biological family, but you can choose your legal family through marriage, which is why marriage is important to me.
/r/RedPillWomen28/06/19 07:34 PM
2

prestige is attractive to me, as it is to all women You're not wrong in saying many (most?) women view it that way, but I wouldn't say "all" women do. Andy, however, didn't give them the time of day. But...he gave me the time of day "She must be someone special," the other girls will think Andy sounds like a Collector's Edition product that you (general "you") bought just to have something that others don't. He sounds like a prop for your ego ("self-esteem"/pride/whatever you want to call it), o…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 09:56 PM
2

Happy to help! Always communicate (the heart-to-heart type) when you're making/intend to make changes, so you can align better with each other's needs and expectations without any misunderstandings or unintentional outcomes. With mindfulness, you'll get the hang of it <3
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 09:52 PM
3

You know what, it's hamster time: 2019: Brain plasticity in pregnancy and the postpartum period: links to maternal caregiving and mental health. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/30008085 the dynamic changes that affect a woman's brain are not merely adaptive, and they likely confer a vulnerability for the development of mental disorders Yeah, a perfect time to impose ultimatums --- when she's most likely to crack :p 2017: Human Maternal Brain Plasticity: Adaptation to Parenting https://www.nc…
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/19 05:32 AM
2

CBT (the type that show up in results when you turn off "safe search") is a fetish I haven't indulged in for awhile because the type of guys who like that stuff are the type that inspire dogs to try establish their doggy-dominance over them.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 03:53 PM
3

Well said! I'd suggest adding basic facts (objective studies that are NOT based on social surveys/self-reported "data") about female biology to the sidebar material, because it's outrageous that there are people who could be so ignorant about this, when useful information is so readily available now, for anyone with enough critical thinking to filter out what isn't useful --- I guess critical thinking is in as short supply as common sense? Of course there'll always be some petulant finger-waggin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 02:21 PM
3

I was given the chance to prove that I can be a good first mate for 3 months. He will facilitate my success to the best of his ability and we will evaluate the changes after this time period 3 months for showing small progress is reasonable. 3 months for a complete change to "prove" anything, however, is unrealistic, but 3 months in my world is a short time, so that's just my opinion :p You already know what to do, and you say you are committed to making it work and doing your best. If you fully…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 12:57 PM
3

Right? These questions have been asked from different angles in this thread, but dodged every time, including OP's latest response. My impression is that he didn't vet her (her personality/etc, whether she's compatible with him for the long term) before deciding to conceive, and pregnancy (which physically and mentally changes a woman in many ways that are objectively measurable facts and published in various studies anyone can read) amplified previously-"tolerable" traits, and he didn't like th…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 12:22 PM
3

Two and a half years ago I got together with my current partner. He was my boss previously but we quit, moved in together, started our own company and three months ago I gave birth to our little girl. . He said that it's been going on for a year and everything that I could come up with has been tried. Tens of tries, tens of discussions, he's not interested in prolonging a bad relationship if it doesn't click. . This is what confuses me. Was the relationship going well during the year before preg…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/19 01:39 AM
2

It's definitely human to have traits/habits that may irritate many/most people (I have plenty of such traits! ;p), but there will be that minority of people who wouldn't be bothered by it. Then there are people who are more forgiving and accepting (or more flexible), compared to others. There's also the possibility that you'd stop getting annoyed if you associate the instances of annoyance with only good memories. To use your examples: maybe your bf only pokes you while saying "I love you" or "h…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 11:06 PM
4

Haha yeah they're a very dysfunctional combination --- great for entertainment value if they were fictional characters, but real life don't have deus-ex-machinas, so it never ends well. Your suggestion to STFU and not engage is actually the only way she could save this relationship, but it relies entirely on her bf being able to recognize and acknowledge her efforts and reciprocate --- which is an unlikely outcome, imo.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 04:00 PM
5

Don't have sex with anyone until you're fully prepared (mentally and financially) to deal with all the potential bad consequences of sex (no matter how small the chance, there's always a chance you'd get pregnant, or pick up a disease/infection, and all the other "unsexy" consequences). Educate yourself. In 2019, you have no excuse to be ignorant about any and all sexual consequences. Some STDs are asymptomatic, not tested for in standard tests, and/or have no cure. Don't gamble if you're not ab…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 03:46 PM
2

I'm fully prepared for downvotes here haha I got first dibs on downvotes! Thanks for the link to the study. I don't have any handy on my phone at the moment.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 03:50 AM
8

OP's post history has several other examples that make the pizza box incident seem like a filler episode in rom-com show.
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 03:38 AM
1

being gross and suffering This used to be a thing for me (along with cystic acne, crippling cramps, and IBS) until I realized it's something you can fix by improving your overall health (change of lifestyle, food habits, etc). It's good to keep track with a food/habit journal. I didn't know it was something I could fix until my periods simply stopped being a literal pain. I still get bad periods if I slack off on nutrition, too. My period is normal by the way, just moderately painful cramps and …
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/19 03:09 AM
1

Fear is mostly a product of a lack of knowledge or a lack of ability to understand --- and I'm just speaking in broad terms here. For example, "a lack of knowledge" includes not knowing how to find a solution, or not knowing anyone who could help you, or not even knowing what's happening. Religion (and anything else based on dogma instead of measurable facts), is one of the various human "inventions" used to ward off that fundamental fear of the unknown/unknowable/uncontrollable that eats away a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/19 10:12 PM
3

Having a narc family is rough! It does a number on you because you're most vulnerable when still growing up. I'm glad you got out, and found a way to heal <3
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/19 04:04 AM
4

Hmm I looked up the definitions, but none seem to apply.. maybe I'll just elaborate, and you could help me figure it out? :p We keep it simple: communicate everything: the good, the bad, the ugly --- and laugh about it. Maybe it helps that we both grew up in the 90s (same age) and share the same mindset and sense of humor. Being consistently good to each other means being mindful of all the little things: Be quick to admit faults and apologize, openly talk about pet peeves (so they don't grow in…
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/19 01:43 AM
15

The "power of association" (sort of the same thing as the conditioning of Pavlov's Dog :p) is going to either make or break your marriage. All the little things that are constant/regular/predictable mean something in the long run. Sometimes the small things mean more than the "big things" (the "significant", extravagant, social media "highlight reel" things), because the little things that are consistent will "set in" (like dried concrete on a paint job --- removal is a pain, and will leave "sca…
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/19 04:01 PM
–

Self-care and compassion are what I'm focusing on at the moment; really just treating myself with enough respect so they may reflect on both my appearance and personality. This is the foundation anyone needs, so you're already on the right track! It all starts with self-respect, and self-respect is not something you can "lose". "Self-esteem"/pride can be gained/lost, because it relies on external validation/input. Like, how some people are known to be the 'singer', or the 'pianist'...I don't hav…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/19 09:19 PM
–

the same toxic people I tried to distance myself from Toxic people gravitate towards people with insecurities they can "prey" on, and also because it's always easier to recognize in others what you are, yourself (toxic behavior stems from insecurity, which manifest as ego issues, jealousy, bitterness, etc). Most female-only social circles can also be toxic in work/school environments, because you're essentially competing for social status in those environments. If you can't keep up, you'd be tor…
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/19 03:49 AM
2

What is the right norm? I'm only attracted to men who know they have every right to decide what is "the norm" in their own life, and have the balls to communicate it to me in advance, before the date happens, so I could decide if I like their idea of the norm, and if I want to sign up for it. I'll never understand all this debating about payments and emasculation :p I've never not known what to do, because I've always asked what my guy prefers, if I've not been informed in advance.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/19 01:44 AM
3

he was dating someone else so the rejection was expected If his gf's the super jealous type, he could be putting on a show with his rejection, especially when he's saying it to a gossiping woman. Any wise man would know women who gossip about other people's feelings would spread the news of his reaction around. For most things in life, it's very likely not about you :p As for advice about SMV, you've already got the best advice in this thread from u/loneliness-inc For posting pictures to clarify…
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 04:53 PM
2

Yeah, if we need any proof that logic isn't strong with most humans, that's the most obvious example lol
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 04:53 PM
2

I grew up religious and I've observed this common saying have always applied to people, regardless of context: "God only helps those who help themselves." :p
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/19 04:32 PM
12

Ask him: "Hey I was wondering if there's anything I could do to help with our plans this month?" (or whatever month you've agreed on) "I haven't contributed anything yet, and I'd feel bad if you were doing everything on your own." Be cheerful, and try your best to interpret his words and actions in the most favorable light when you're having your discussion. Never assume the worst of someone's intentions when you're having the kind of discussion with them that would determine life-changing event…
/r/RedPillWomen25/05/19 08:00 AM
2

I don't remember what the conversation was about No worries, I only have a vague idea at this point, myself lol At the very least, express a little appreciation for the help given to you. At the very least, apologize if you hurt someone you love and don't expect them to just suck up the neglect and abuse and never be upset about it. Definitely. I'm always confused why many people don't understand this is something basic that anyone with functional empathy would know to do, without being told. I …
/r/RedPillWomen24/05/19 11:07 PM
2

Sorry for the late reply, I was suddenly busy and went missing for awhile. But if you're an entitled cunt, you're essentially punishing him for his help. That's when men just say fuck it and walk away. This is the thing most women don't get. From the perspective of the average woman I've spoken to, they always say "but he's just doing what he should be doing anyway". Even if it's his "job", it's a thankless job. It's not just women tho. Men can also take things for granted, if they have nothing …
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 04:42 PM
5

he’ll do whatever he wants. I don’t get to have a say anymore. And what has he done to earn this? No man is entitled to his woman's submission (unless that's part of your religion, but that's just setting things up for long term resentment imo). Submission needs to be earned. He has to earn your trust, your respect, and your devotion. He has to convince you that he's worthy of leading, before expecting you to follow. The first thing a woman needs to do in any relationship is vet, not submit. Sin…
/r/RedPillWomen23/05/19 02:14 PM
14

For anything in life that has any significant value, you have paperwork for it. If he doesn't want to get married through the state, then he should be open to other ways to provide legal benefits for your relationship to address things like your rights during an emergency (getting married is the easier way to accomplish this, but there are other options for those who don't want government involvement). If you have any intention of building a life together, and especially if you want kids, you wi…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 11:33 AM
2

Doesn't prove anything. What I said served its purpose, because OP has since deleted this thread (probably without realizing that people could still continue having a conversation regardless of thread deletion), which proves you're right about her :p I know several men who's wives have mental illnesses and this is more or less what happens. Sounds like their wives aren't putting in any effort at all, let alone doing any compensating. get him smitten by your confidence boosting sweet sexiness Thi…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/19 04:50 AM
2

What will it cost to the guy? She has to bring enough positives into the relationship to compensate for any cost. There needs to be a net positive, or she won't get any "solid guy" at all :p I've mentioned this above, but I think I failed at clear communication again .. :( Her problems are still her responsibility, not his. She's responsible for dealing with them to the best of her ability to maintain that net positive ^ , but any man who signs up for a circus would be kidding himself if he thin…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/19 10:15 PM
2

explanation needs to be given The variables involved rely entirely on the individuals involved (both their personal traits combined in their relationship, to produce that level of conflict and distress), but talking about that isn't useful in a discussion about general guidelines, so I'll link a couple of articles that touch on this topic instead: . Anxiety Disorders and Intimate Relationships: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5177451/ the degree of shared distress within couples app…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/19 12:29 PM
2

What are his areas of inadequacy? how you define "supportive" Whatever he does that could be perceived positively seem to only demonstrate that he makes really bad decisions (this is a serious inadequacy in a male-led relationship), and/or he doesn't have many other relationship options and he's just reluctantly tolerating OP for the sake of not being single (and maybe OP is doing the same, and like-attracts-like). Generally, he sounds dismissive and solipsistic. I'll quote the OP in her other r…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 02:42 PM
2

The one ex I almost married was an aspie (professionally diagnosed since childhood), so I'm quite familiar with the issues myself. Even for a robot like me (no anxiety, etc), that lack of natural empathy (the natural ability to read non-verbal cues and relate and understand a different perspective) was intolerable, because it makes communication unusually difficult, and I simply can't properly connect with someone I always have to struggle to communicate with. He was a perfectly decent and intel…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 12:24 PM
2

I disagree with the rest of what you say here. I don't disagree with you, because you said it better: A woman should vet for someone who can and will support her and part of that is calming her fears and anxieties. I meant this ^ when I said "handle", but I failed to express it properly (sorry!) due to my skewed perspective: my husband isn't the type of man who gives emotional comfort, nor require me to provide him any, although we do feel comforted and supported because we do other things for e…
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/19 11:59 AM
2

Why not? Many produce material I enjoy as a consumer :p
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 04:05 PM
2

haha Metal guys rock my world :D
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 04:02 PM
3

I read the op. I was just quoting to give clear context to my statements, not implying you didn't read :p <3 if he's giving her one last chance This is kind and generous, but ultimately not a good decision, because if babies are the goal, what's needed is at least a man who knows how to handle OP's level of anxiety well enough to be her solid ground (he's not doing that at all, otherwise OP wouldn't be posting here for help). There are men who are good at dealing with anxieties of others, and ab…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 03:53 PM
5

From the OP: I pretty much devoted my life to flying back and forth for years. I'd stay a few months there and a few months here hoping he'd eventually put a ring on it. I played housewife and met his family. During that time I also had mood swings from time to time and there was an argument at least once a month over him refusing to put a ring on it. After 4 years of "at least once a month" arguments and constant mood swings, he still needs more time to figure out if she's a stable person? :p A…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 01:22 PM
9

Your BF didn't close the door on marriage, he merely wants a trial period. This is very reasonable given your severe issues. While you've made good points, I don't think this "trial period" thing is reasonable because of the timeframe: My boyfriend and I met online in 2014 and in person in 2015. It's now inching close to mid 2019.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 05:11 AM
13

he said he wasn't sure anymore because of how poorly I handled the health scares. He also added he wouldn't feel comfortable marrying me when he isn't sure I'd even be happy in Canada. I told him I just want to work or have something to do. He said I should return and have a trial run demonstrating to him I can be stable for 4-5 months as a visitor. The impression I get from your description of his idea of "solving a problem" is that he's only thinking of all this as his problem --- it's not "ou…
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/19 04:50 AM
2

most people aren't in on the joke :-p For me it's mostly a mental image thing (random hilarious mental associations). Like when you said "30 years of misery" in that other thread, what immediately popped in my head was the mental image of a priest in a Catholic confessional assigning that as penance for the sin of ignorance (so instead of the usual "Say 30 Hail Marys", it's "Repent through 30 years of misery!"). what I picture Stargate SG-1 was an obsession of mine way back in my teens! My husba…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/19 11:02 PM
2

haha Sorry I've never corrected that wrong impression because it was just too amusing (I know, I find the weirdest things hilarious). But since that wrong impression is already old enough to have experienced different seasons, I really should make some effort to clear his name .. :p (thread of origin, for anyone reading this and wondering what's going on lol: https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/a0dpxu/husband_material/eahxlwv/ --- more vetting tips by Zegiknie!) He neither picks up tr…
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/19 08:23 AM
2

Nah, I'm very good at sharing.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 07:19 PM
2

I'll make you a sandwich any day <3
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 07:15 PM
2

Sorry I was distracted by food :p
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 07:12 PM
2

We generally don't discuss sexual kinks on this sub, because it'll scare away the vanillas, confuse the innocent, and create problems for the curious.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 07:07 PM
1

Men who only need chopsticks to win battles wouldn't need a sword anyway (Excalibur wouldn't be valuable) :p
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 06:46 PM
1

Nah, Excalibur vets against men who go into battle wielding cutlery.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 06:35 PM
2

Like attracts like :p Opposites only attract for the short term. Look at any old married couple (30+ years of marriage) and you'd be able to clearly see why they stayed together.
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 06:28 PM
7

He never DEERs, always DAREs Alternatively: a man who has the balls to disagree (someone who is not conflict-avoidant), while having the brains to present a convincing argument (presented with enough understanding and empathy to compel you to change your mind), and the wisdom to not waste his time doing this with just anyone (for the same reason that you don't try to play chess with a pigeon). Whether a man DEERs, DAREs, or do something less formulaic, whatever he says (everything he says), is a…
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 06:00 PM
3

Thanks for sharing, I'm so happy for you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 12:12 AM
1

Awesome <3
/r/RedPillWomen27/04/19 12:04 AM
1

Any ideas? It's likely an issue to do with the reddit redesign, if that's what you're browsing in. Try using the "old version" at: https://old.reddit.com/ A direct link to this thread (if it's easier) : https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/bgkz9n/how_do_i_use_this_thing/
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 10:55 AM
1

The answer is "Avoid social contact with attractive, but inappropriate, men." To determine if they're "inappropriate", you'd still need an objective analysis first :p It's always going to be at least a little bit of a gamble, though. Yeah. Gambling is generally bad advice simply because most games are rigged. For the games where the dice aren't loaded, players are still required to be capable of strategic thinking, if they want good odds of winning ("how disgustingly masculine of a woman to cold…
/r/RedPillWomen26/04/19 10:25 AM
2

only someone with the same infection It does cut her dating pool by about half, which is not ideal, but not hopeless either. I was raised Catholic (divorce = blasphemy) and I've seen way too many miserable marriages among the religious (especially those who married younger than 25). I think couples who could make things work despite major issues, are the lucky few. He could pull it off if he's otherwise badass. If she could get over her resentment, yes :p I have nothing useful to say about the t…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/19 09:53 PM
3

Sorry I tend to be a choking hazard :p
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/19 09:10 PM
13

Thanks for writing this! There's a drastic shortage of RP articles dealing with this topic in any meaningful way. You are not a logic robot Tactically, what this means is that you operate with "Hell yes or hell no" mindset. That you are either all in or all out. While this is good advice, how would you advise someone to pull this off without being a logic robot? (and I'm asking as a logic robot :p). Whatever delay you impose is for you to be sure, not for him to be invested, because men don't wo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/19 01:27 AM
2

Even if other people lack a virtue, and you hold to it, that makes life easier anyway. Entirely depends on what virtue we're talking about. What I meant by "desirable outcome" are things like happiness and fulfillment. Some people find happiness in suffering for their virtues, of course! It takes two to have a relationship, and likewise, it takes two people with the same virtues to make that relationship work when there's a serious problem (such as losing respect, trust, or attraction --- the th…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/19 12:20 PM
2

conviction instead of cowardice. Shows character. Yeah many older-generation marriages only remained intact because self-sacrifice was something people were more willing to do. Most traditional virtues need to be collectively upheld (within a community/culture), before it benefits the individual (before it's an option to achieve a desirable outcome). As a relationship strategy, you'd need to be absolutely sure the conviction (/commitment to make things work) is mutual, yet you can only truly con…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/19 05:21 PM
3

I am unable to make myself heard in ways that he can understand Don't waste your precious time interacting with people who can't understand what you say (unless you find entertainment value in doing so, I guess :p). Of course, if you're lacking language skills, continue to improve on it, but also understand that there will always be people who just won't "get it", no matter how many ways you try to clarify something. Whether they lack empathy or intelligence, it's not your responsibility to fix …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 06:55 PM
2

So by that n=1 they'd be looking at about 30 miserable years, then 10 in-between, then maybe reasonably contented days in their 60s and up. Alas, the steep price of sacred cows :p I think for someone symptom-free who asked to get checked for everything and was given the all-clear, it's not so strange they're unaware. While I don't disagree, it also shows a lack of initiative to empower himself with knowledge before making decisions, given how he's expected to lead in his relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 06:37 PM
2

Same to phone-in-hand conversations then. Yep! It's a body language "tell" that fundamentally annoys people :p I wasn't allowed gum. Gummy bears are just the right size for covert chewing, and also easy to swallow! You can make your own at home too (less sugar, add whatever you like). I haven't perfected a recipe yet, but there are many available online.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 05:59 PM
1

Regardless of the exact nuances of the definition The validity of studies that rely on people self-reporting their "data" hinges entirely on the definitions they used to collect those self-reports. If you can't see how important definitions are in this context, then I have nothing else to say.
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 05:38 PM
1

a woman's partner count Since there are so many studies, and most rely on data that's self-reported by participants, whatever conclusions are unreliable if there are no clear definitions. I'd really appreciate it if someone, anyone, could point out what definitions these studies used. those who favour long-term relationships I'd also like to know what counts as a "long-term relationship", please.. From what I've noticed in RP subs, some people think an LTR is anything more than 5 months. Persona…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 05:19 PM
4

But it's repulsive, revolting and wrong Chewing and chewing all day long It's mainly perceived as repulsive because anyone trying to interact with you can clearly see that your face is preoccupied with a "task". This gives people the impression that you're not giving them your full attention when they're speaking to you --- even when you're staring straight at them, you're obviously "multitasking" :p Most people feel disrespected (in varying degrees, depending on context) if they don't feel they…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 03:19 AM
5

I gave my LTR HSV-1. I did not know. It's so easy to find information about STDs/STI now, that "I didn't know" is not a valid excuse. Before any sex happens, the practical thing to do would be to educate yourself --- and if you've done that, you'd have realized you need to specifically ask for the test. A good site to start reading: https://www.cdc.gov/std/herpes/default.htm General article: https://rewire.news/article/2015/11/05/almost-everyone-herpes-worried/ having sex without a condom (shes …
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/19 02:33 AM
2

Sorry I didn't communicate clearly: what I was trying to say is time is perceived differently by different people. Time can even be relative for the same person, depending on their emotional state (for example: time seem to move slower when you're waiting impatiently). Edit for more clarification (lol) .. Most arguments that can't be resolved is due to a lack of mutual empathy/ ability to see things from the other person's point of view. He was late to get married in the first place This would b…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 03:13 AM
1

a year to me is significant It'd be best that he's aware of this. One way to bring "time" to his attention is to consistently celebrate yearly events together (social events, holidays, birthdays). Don't mention anything about social media, just watch what he does. If you're always there with him, and photos are taken, and if he keeps posting such photos with you cropped out, then yeah.. that would be a red flag! It's also likely his "love language" is different from yours --- nothing wrong with …
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 02:58 AM
7

We’ve been together about a year, and he’s never posted a single picture of me, or us, on his social media. There're two reasons to post personal (private) matters on social media: To sell something, such as a scripted public persona (many celebs hire professionals to help them accomplish this), or propaganda. To brag about your life, because privacy isn't your concern. You're not mentioned on his social media because you're either someone who can't help him achieve his social media goals, or he…
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/19 12:59 AM
1

Well I tried Take heart! You could only do better next time. Enjoy your “greater beta” catch. ? If you're directing this at me, you've gotten yet another wrong impression. Since I have a long post history, and I often mention various details of my marriage, I need not say more here. The value of a "Greater Beta" is part of the core RPW concepts, btw. edit, since I just noticed your edit, a whole hour later.. and here I thought I gave you ample time to make any edits :p If you don’t say something…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 06:14 AM
0

She should wait to trickle truth her past as bonding is happening So what you're recommending is a long term male-led relationship (/lifetime marriage) being led by a man who is vulnerable to manipulation (if she could manipulate him, someone else could too). How is it a good idea to submit to such a man? How does this make him a good leader? But what about our poor newly reformed RPW? Objectively she will be the greatest first mate a man could have, but only beta bux stick around after finding …
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 04:23 AM
1

Sure. But that’s past the time we’re concerned about. The time period we’re talking about is dating. dating not 40 years of marriage. So you readily admit your "dark triad" strategy does not benefit a long term relationship. How is that good advice in this sub?
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 01:55 AM
1

And telling him you gave blowjobs to the entire football team is better? Just FYI, using theory like a sperg means only thinking in extremes and absolutes, which is what you've been doing. While it's amusing, it's not helpful. Did you forget what we are talking about? There's what I'm talking about, and there's what little you can understand of what I'm talking about, which aren't the same things. This is about damage control. You seem to be assuming that men who are attractive to women here are…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/19 12:31 AM
2

My handle on theory is objectively better than yours. Given the way you "handled" yourself in this thread, this only means you mindlessly apply theory like a sperg, instead of using theory as a tool. No slam against you, You're contradicting yourself, btw. but your “paranoid” version of a “leader” is really a loser no man could respect. What I describe as empathic and perceptive (being good at reading people accurately), you interpret as "paranoid". Repeatedly insisting it's being "paranoid", wo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 11:53 PM
2

Yes on both counts, but it's easy to weed out people who are the type who would blab your personal info to others, and it's a bad idea to date such people in the first place (I'm sure I don't need to elaborate on the hows and whys here.. or if it's needed, you can do it! :P). And it's also illogical to keep secrets in a long term relationship in the hopes of "bringing it to your grave", if you (general "you") intend to devote and submit yourself, and go through all the effort (spending all that …
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 04:22 PM
2

Dark triad strategies are fine for the short term (like for TRP men spinning plates). The person giving you this bad advice is a man. RPW is about strategies that work in the long term (/lifetime), in a male-led relationship. "Fogging" your "Captain" is only a great strategy if you intend to eventually crash your "ship". If you want to take advice from a man in this sub, please take it from a TRP founder like Whisper or HumanSockPuppet, or someone who has earned a flair.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 07:23 AM
10

You can personally verify the truth for all the things I put in bullet points. You can't verify a woman's n-count unless you've been stalking her since she started being sexually active. There's also another definition of "n-count" I came across that claims it's "the number of times her heart got broken", which actually makes more sense to me, if we're talking about pair-bonding.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 03:33 AM
6

What the hell are you on right now? Triggering you, apparently. You see the word "n-count" and jump to all kinds of conclusions, instead of reading the content. Men like you love to wave the "n-count" around like it doesn't have varying definitions. Where ever did this poster make up the opposite? I'm saying there's no reason to lie about it, and most guys with any brains wouldn't even ask about it, because.. ..drumroll.. You can't personally verify a woman's n-count, whether or not she's being …
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 03:25 AM
6

It is also tied with your ability to pair bond. It's not the only thing that affects your ability to pair-bond. "N-count" can also be a variable number, depending on the definition (some people say it's any sexual contact including handjobs, some definitions say only penis-in-vagina count, some people define it as acts of penetration). Men who need to rely on "n-count" to figure out if a woman can pair-bond are men who can't process information in a practical manner --- men who cling too hard to…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 02:09 AM
2

a negative focus Yeah that's just the same as being outright nasty, regardless if bitchy cackling is involved (imo :p). And you are very funny IMO. You're very generous to say so! This is the part where I start to owe you muffins.
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 01:56 AM
7

Men worthy of submission (men who are smart, not socially-retarded, and capable of leadership) are unlikely to be deceived. Even if a truth/lie isn't immediately obvious, they'd know how to work around it based on probabilities and verifiable facts. A man who is very uptight about knowing the truth, is a man of poor judgment who probably has trust issues because he can't trust himself (can't trust his own judgment). Of course, this doesn't make him a "bad person" at all. A man who hasn't mastere…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/19 01:30 AM
2

haha Sure, I can tell when someone is being (or trying to be) nasty, I just can't tell if they're trying to be funny-nasty, or just nasty-nasty, because it's all the same to me. As for my personal sense of humor, it could be considered "nasty" if you look at it from a certain perspective, even when it's not my intention (and "good intentions" are what people use as an excuse to avoid taking responsibility for bad outcomes). I'm never invested in being funny/nasty, because I'm always more interes…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 06:00 PM
4

Generally, yeah, but I usually reserve judgement until I have collected enough information that I can personally verify. People who have a nasty sense humor can be vindictive. Sadly, my humor-meter is quite broken, so I wouldn't know a nasty sense of humor even if I sat on one.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 03:20 PM
2

I agree that being part of the official RP network makes it messy like that, but if we completely detach, the women whom this sub was created for (women who find TRP first, and need a separate sub to discuss what's relevant to women) are less likely to find it. There's also no need to detach, since there are several such subs that already exist but aren't part of the "official network", like the sub you mentioned. Any suggestions for a solution to this problem are always welcome.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 03:00 PM
4

Ahh, my bad for misunderstanding what you meant, sorry! But lately some of them seem like very general or even (what I thought was) blue pill advice. I agree with you, and I think the main problem is that women here rarely speak up against such advice (or not ask questions, before speaking up against what they don't understand). The type of advice given here isn't strictly enforced because being too restrictive could quickly create an echo chamber. The main requirement is that you're familiar wi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 02:54 PM
1

there’s always the chance that challenging the theory will be considered an insult by the moderators. If this was true, all mods here would hate me (and maybe they do, but if so, I'm not aware of it). If you're "challenging the theory" and getting moderated for doing so, then you're not communicating well enough (and I think anyone familiar with my posts would know I'm no good with words, so it must be pretty bad for mods to need to step in).
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 05:54 AM
4

my place in this world as a woman rules on relationship The best part about relationships (personal romantic relationships), and being a free woman, is that you get to decide what the rules are. If you don't like freedom of choice (I happily submit to my husband, so this statement is sneer-free :P), there's always some religion or "-ism" that would be more than happy to demand that you follow their rules.
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 05:45 AM
6

This is a good question deserving a thread of its own, instead of being unappreciated, misunderstood, and unanswered here (at the time I'm making this comment, that is). After all, crying about a separate sub (especially one where women aren't even the intended audience) instead of building up our own sub is the opposite of quality femininity. In fact, it's typical of any rabid man-hating feminist (or any childish entitled woman) to demand that everyone everywhere coddle their feelings so they d…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/19 05:33 AM
3

people also change. With the exception of brain trauma/damage, people don't really "change", other than "become who they really are" by learning to let go (you can see this clearest in people who have grown old enough to completely stop giving any fucks), or "learn to hide who they really are" by learning how to blend in (such as people who seem to be avatars of virtues), given enough time. People generally don't intentionally "hide" things from you, they're just in denial :p Most people lie to …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 07:00 PM
2

Oh that wasn't petting, but it could be, if that's what you prefer :p
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 06:59 PM
3

I'm not wired to do what you do, so I can only admire it <3
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 01:19 AM
10

I didn't see it coming. I'm a genius and didn't see the red flags. This is because the men are extremely great at hiding this side of themselves. To say "vet them" is almost like "you should know better". If you're a poor judge of character (unable to read people well), then you're simply unable to vet properly. Your IQ is useless if you don't apply it in a way that compensates for your lack of sharp instincts or a lack of keen observation (most people aren't observant). Having good social skill…
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 01:04 AM
1

If you're not having much success with dating apps (or similar online options), then it's time to widen your social circles through your hobbies/passions, or trying out something new --- even if you don't meet anyone interesting, new experiences and skills would make you more interesting and attractive. Never accept any man who thinks you're not attractive enough to be picky, because such men see you as a low value woman, and would treat you as such --- you'd be better off alone than being with …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/19 12:36 AM
2

I think innocence is also a fun gift to unpack Definitely. It just has no monogamy-value, because a man (one with options, desired by most women) may develop a taste for that kind of fun :p To be easy-going and easy to handle for him alone, but not fragile, that's the way. Yes, that's what makes you awesome (and helps you thrive as a mother and homemaker, because sometimes it's like a daily battle).
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 06:26 PM
6

Just to elaborate for your info: the reason why I'm getting downvoted (as I expected) here is because the common trope here is that "men like innocence" and "men love women the way women love children". While those tropes are not wrong, they're also not conducive to the end-goal of marriage, nor a good marriage. Many men will praise the appeal of "innocence" because the more "innocent" someone is, the easier they are to handle (the path of least resistance to getting sex). Many men will also pra…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 05:43 PM
4

I both wonder and worry about things that may never happen all the time. How could you possibly not? It's a normal adult thing to do, just not "childlike" in appeal :p I actually did a lot of worrying and not be vulnerable (I didn't have much of a childhood, being the eldest child growing up in a dumpster fire, so I don't really relate to "be the child you used to be" lol). I had a rough time "letting things go" (the things beyond my control), until I came across the saying "worry is a waste of …
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 04:39 PM
9

"Childlike" is only attractive because it implies flexibility (malleability). It's not about "innocence". It's about: being well-adjusted enough as an adult to be able to trust yourself (able to trust your own judgement) enough to know who you can trust (not just "be vulnerable" indiscriminately because of "innocence" :P) --- be vulnerable with people who are worthy of it. owning your faults/flaws instead of developing a complex about them --- healthy children don't have hangups nor inhibitions …
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/19 01:19 AM
8

often submit to a guy not worthy of submission Many people who get into relationships are more in love with the idea of being "in love" (in love with their idealism of a person, making their own interpretations of what they perceive), instead of noticing who the actual person is. my ability to submit wasn't my own, but entirely falls on my significant other? He inspires your submission. Submission needs to be inspired, because it's in the same category as attraction, which can't be negotiated (b…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/19 09:36 PM
7

"Marry a rich husband" is standard advice from older women in the culture I grew up in, too. When I was old enough to legally have sex, I couldn't find an already-wealthy man who was attractive enough, so I picked a smart man who's very attractive to me, and made him rich by "opening doors" for him ("doors" he couldn't open on his own, because women have a natural advantage in charm and thus better at networking and social manipulation ~cough~ ). For a male-led relationship to work, a man needs …
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/19 08:13 PM
7

Working your way up from plate is a high-risk, high-reward strategy (high reward because it gives access to more desirable men). So, whether it's "recommended" or not depends on your level of girl game. This requires a complete lack of absolutist thinking, which automatically excludes anyone who clings to dogma (religious or otherwise), anyone who glorifies what's "traditional", anyone "on the spectrum", and anyone with hangups and/or insecurity issues. Giving such advice would exclude the major…
/r/RedPillWomen06/04/19 09:50 PM
7

I'm almost never perceived as a threat because I never advertize that I'm any such thing. I make a point to look pleasant but forgettable. Blending well into the background means you don't attract the attention of people who don't matter. Be good at what you do, and forge alliances whenever possible (instead of creating rivals). Don't assume an ally would always be an ally. Make your decisions based on probabilities, instead of trusting anyone to "do the right thing". Be strategic about the righ…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 08:52 AM
4

My intention here is only to point out facts to help you figure things out on your own. You don't need to justify anything to me, or to anyone, really. Just to elaborate: he ran over to us I get the impression that your friend must be pretty attractive to do what he did to you, with other people around you witnessing it, and get away with it :p I mean, if a guy friend randomly did that to me in front of mutual friends, the first thing that'd come out of my mouth (after his tongue) is a very loud…
/r/RedPillWomen05/04/19 07:24 AM
3

when men talk about a woman like she is nothing but a walking uterus The ugly truth is, most men only think of women based on their sexual/reproductive/home-making utility --- and that's why most men aren't worthy of submission! Similarly, most women only value men mainly for their utility as provider, protector, and validator (and that's why men should vet carefully before commitment). Such things aren't nice to hear, but it also doesn't mean they're not accurate for the typical man/woman. Wome…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 04:37 AM
24

i've only known this guy a couple weeks kiss me. Like, full on tongue But i also have a boyfriend. I don't know what to do. A guy you barely know kissed you with the intensity worthy of a movie scene. Not only did you receive it without protest, you're only feeling curious about "what it means" after the surprise factor/moment has worn off. I don't want to read to much into it. It sounds like your basketball friend is more attractive to you, than your boyfriend :p It doesn't really matter what t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 04:04 AM
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Hovers around 60. I'm told it's on the high side, but within "normal range" (not beard-growing levels, I guess? :p). or if it is just conditioning For me, it wasn't. I've always been eager to participate in school sports and have very "masculine" hobbies since I was a child. My hyper-religious trad-con parents tried their very best to bully/beat it out of me (obviously it didn't work :p). Pretty much everyone in my family tried to shame me for not being a submissive delicate flower, but all that…
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/19 03:22 AM
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Ahh I see. Good info, thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 01:31 PM
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I tried to read the link but it didn't make much sense to me. Sorry, I should've summarized lol It's mostly just details of research done to find a link between testosterone deficiency and gut health in men. An unhealthy gut microbiome could give you leaky gut, which causes inflammation (as mentioned in the linked article). Probiotics and similar supplements are what most people take for maintaining a healthy digestive system, especially if they've recently taken antibiotics (which destroys your…
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 01:13 PM
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I've known other women with PCOS get good results with non-mint teas. Mint or tea, all I know is it's best for men to avoid such, if they already have testosterone issues. The plural of anecdotes don't count, and I don't really trust articles that aren't published on pubmed, so I don't have solid data yet. Not only that, many commercial tea bags are sold in fancy mixes these days, so when someone says they drink a certain tea, there's a high chance that there's more to the mix, unless you grill …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 12:40 PM
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Good gut flora determines many aspects of health, including testosterone levels. Most recent published research: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5899218/ There's more if you look it up. I'm just linking one to help you with words to search for. There are many ways to improve gut flora such as probiotics and fermented foods (kefir, natto, yogurt, etc). A high-fiber diet will also help move things along :p A high protein diet will work better if it's animal protein. Avoid tea. I have …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/19 12:04 AM
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My boyfriend would be gutted if he knew of my intention A clear sign of a defective relationship strategy is when you need to lie (by omission), to get what you want. If your strategy actually makes you a desirable woman who attracts quality men, your boyfriend would be able to accept the truth without giving you any problems.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 01:06 PM
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It wouldn't take much to convert this sub into a u/Zegiknie fan club if I was elected president of said fan club.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/19 06:05 AM
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make sure you reach a place where you're happy and get good at being social and really grow/advance any personality traits you have, not everyone can be the funny person or the super sexy person just work with what you have. Well said. You need to be happy with yourself (and respect yourself) first, before you can attract someone you could be in a happy respectful relationship with.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 05:25 AM
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how did you manage to attract and hold the right man's attention when you found him? I highly value fun, freedom, and privacy (and similar things that many people are all too eager to sacrifice for the sake of "safety"). However, I don't think the details of what I did is relevant, since I'm childfree, bisexual, and take pride in my career. I imagine I'm probably very unattractive to a man interested in being a Captain-provider/father instead. until I met a few and I haven't a clue on how to att…
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/19 05:13 AM
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Winners attract winners. If you were killing it at life as guy or a girl then the only person you want to spend most of your life with will also need to be a winner. Also: dating will always be easier the younger you are, regardless of gender, because people are more forgiving if you don't already have your shit together. But many young women fail at relationships because they grew up using fictional characters (especially from dramas) or celebrities as role models. The problem with fictional ch…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/19 12:42 AM
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it’s hurtful that he hasn’t gone down on me in months. Ask him if he actually enjoys giving oral. If he says no, you'd need to accept that you're unlikely to ever receive good oral from this man, if you still want to be in a relationship with him. If he says yes, talk about how important it is for you and how upset you've been --- talk about your feelings about the lack of oral (the problem), don't accuse him of not doing what you want (because that would be saying he is the problem itself, and …
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/19 01:20 AM
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Yeah, the right words can be very tricky to describe relationship doings. I get what you mean, and I was just using the jargon common in RP subs. You said "Punish him harshly for mistakes related to you." so I replaced the standard "dread game" with "punishment game" :p I'm the type of person who don't even like the term "Captain" (I will always roll my eyes at it!), so I'm definitely not the best with words, either. I actually started out with your strategy (with a man who was a virgin) back wh…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/19 02:10 AM
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Punishment/dread games work on the type of men who don't have much experience with women, or men who are operating on a scarcity mindset. While it's not an RPW-approved strategy, most men (most people) operate on scarcity, so if a woman could actually maintain attraction for such a man, then good for her! However: You want the relationship for which he would give anything, not the relationship for which he is willing to give a little bit of its convenient for him. Both options are extremes. I do…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/19 03:52 PM
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TL;DR (in advance, just for context) : I've always question if my views are so far off the "main road", that it has no use in any RP context :p There's also the definition of RPW being off the standard cultural norms by default.. This is why I really appreciate it when you share your opinion, and thanks for letting me bounce some thoughts! You are conceptualizing attractiveness as a state of being rather than a skill set. Isn't it both? Appearance of optimal health is beauty, and beauty depends …
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/19 04:02 AM
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It's important for the single woman. I disagree, but I'd only say this directly to you, because this is just my hypothesis and it's slightly off the beaten RP path, so your opinion would be greatly appreciated. The following is also a long-ish post, as I'm trying my best to express something I've not expressed before, and I'd understand if you don't have the time. It's a male strategy to be attractive to "most" potential partners, because men aren't the gatekeepers of sex, and sex is part of the…
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/19 04:51 PM
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You'll always have my admiration for how you define thoughts/concepts so well in words! There are always people who look for hard and fast rules to avoid having to make nuanced decisions and take responsibility for them. But neither men nor women can be truly successful in love unless they become the kind of person who is willing to make a judgement call and live with the risks and rewards. This^ is pretty much the secret to relationship happiness, in my experience. It's not even a "secret" exac…
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/19 02:47 PM
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So the motivation to do anything special isn't automatically there. When you're with the right man ("right" for you, vetted well and all that), the motivation is automatically there, imo. For example, I don't specifically feed my husband's ego, I'm just very motivated to say nice things to him all the time, because that's how I really feel about him. He sometimes cooks and cleans when he prefers me doing something else (scandalous unspeakable things). With the right guy, things fall into place w…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 04:20 PM
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A man in love would look at you like you're his drug of choice. It doesn't matter if he's got other eager women on speed dial, he'd turn his phone off when he's with you, because he doesn't want to miss anything new he could learn about you. Attractive men with many options will always shy away from scary words like "commitment". Addiction to you would give the same outcome :p Besides, words are wind, just as meaningless as "good intentions".
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 02:47 PM
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Women's general reluctance to write theory articles, or field reports. Just speaking for myself: it's not because I don't care to share, but because sharing (in my experience) is pointless, as the more advanced stuff (easy example: malleability, which isn't "advanced", just "often dismissed" :p) either flies over most heads, or worse: taken and applied in autistic absolutes --- especially since I don't have the skill with words to communicate concepts effectively (I'm a do-er, not a writer/reade…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/19 01:05 PM
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Thanks for being awesome!
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 11:58 PM
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“It hurts my feelings when I prepare a nice meal for you and you come home late. I was hoping to spend some quality time together.” I wouldn't say this is ideal, because this does sound a little passive-aggro, which many men would interpret as "nagging": "Your lateness hurt my feelings, because I made this effort yet couldn't get what I want.". When my husband's late, I usually ask "Was there a way I could've timed things better, so you'd have a fresh meal when you got home?" --- because it's th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 11:44 PM
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Avoiding serious relationships is the logical thing to do, for men who can't (or won't) learn how to vet well. If a woman posts in this sub about bad relationships with men, we'd tell her to take a break from relationships and fix herself or learn how to vet better first. You can't keep doing the same thing (failing at vetting) and expect different results (unless you like gambling, I guess). Any community that truly want to support men, would stress the importance of vetting, and discuss it oft…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 12:07 PM
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When I realized his farts don't stink (mainly because of excellent gut flora, imo) and his morning mouth taste like sourdough toast drowned in coffee (I know I'm weird to like it), I knew right then that it must be love. If you asked any ex of mine, they'd tell you some variation about how they consider me somewhat of a calculative woman with a heart of stone (early childhood trauma made me jaded beyond my years, and most emotional reactions just seem illogical to me :p). With my husband, he's j…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 11:16 AM
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Well said, and star-worthy! Pretty please, u/pearlsandstilettos ?
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/19 10:50 AM
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what are the benefits of adding value to a man’s life? There are no benefits in adding value to a low-value man's life. A man is low-value to you, if you find yourself wishing he'd do what some other man does. High value in a relationship (personal perception) and high social status (social/general perception) are completely different things. I’m finding it hard to rationalize why women should contribute Not even the most perfect boyfriend could satisfy a woman with a hamster that's only interes…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/19 08:39 PM
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In the example you linked below ( http://archive.is/D9UWh ), the way that she described how he broke down sounds a lot like a child seeking comfort from a mother: hes confessing to being raped by another man while completely being in tears and holding me. Men should be vulnerable with other men. They go to their peers Correct me if I'm wrong: masculine men who are best friends or peers, don't cling to each other while weeping their hearts out in an emotionally-charge confession of experienced tr…
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/19 11:11 AM
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There are "Face Exerciser" devices that support your theory, so it's probably not that unsubstantiated :p I've also heard good things about the "organic protein shake" that men produce: nutritional value and skincare benefits when applied topically.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/19 01:55 AM
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feminism: it's oppressive for your partner to ask you to change/better yourself, women shouldn't have to do anything to please a man, etc. I want to make him happy, but I also want to want to maintain myself better and not just do it for him. Pleasing a man isn't a form of martyrdom, and if it feels like martyrdom, you're with the wrong man, imo. When you're truly attracted to a man, you naturally feel very motivated to improve yourself in ways that make him happy, because his happiness makes yo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/19 10:26 PM
1

In general? Always? When are explanations for one's own behavior appropriate and/or when are they necessary? They are needed only when they give your man something to work with. Many women "explain" themselves just to make themselves feel better (only looking for validation). If what I'm feeling drives me to do something stupid, I communicate my thought process (or lack of thought lol), instead of talk about my feelings. It's more about my acknowledgement of failure, and an apology. Framing my a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/19 04:41 AM
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A woman without malleability (of any age, but more likely over 30) is not attractive to men who prefer to take the lead in a relationship. You're only left behind because there are changes you're unwilling to make, and this could be anything from a personality that isn't attractive (not "bad", just not attractive), to being unwilling to do things differently to accommodate a man, while expecting your man to make changes (to his lifestyle, etc) for you. If you want a male-led relationship, you ne…
/r/RedPillWomen14/02/19 12:46 AM
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How is collecting teeth more acceptable than collecting pubes?! That's because the pubes fairy collect pubes using teeth :D (I'll show myself out now.)
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/18 05:35 PM
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But I know she loves me very much. Because she mentions Every. Single. Thing! That she doesn't love. Aaaaah! haha Keeping it real, hardcore mode! It does reduce splash damage ;-) True, it's especially bad if you have carpet in the area. (She left just now, I'm still a bit shaky) (~hugs and brings you some vitamins~) pro-pubes This is a good word to use for posters and tshirts! I really don't know if it's common/uncommon among men. Most women I've ever spoken to about grooming below the waist, wo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/18 04:24 PM
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Well I know you're awesome, so I figured you do too <3 It just came to mind because it's something I observed while doing the family-mingle thing this week. Whenever I end up with a group of women, they'd be talking about petty "men are dumbz" frustrations in their lives, and I'd be busy trying to blend into the furniture so nobody would notice I have nothing to complain about. Mine pees sitting down! Have my MIL to thank for that :-p haha She sounds formidable! I mainly put the seat up so neith…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/18 01:22 PM
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Yes, and constant small, specific (sincere) gratitudes "stick" better than gratitude shown for special efforts, or non-specific (general) thanks. Many wives feel entitled to their husbands fulfilling "husband duties", because such women feel they've been fulfilling all the "wife duties" expected of them. They'd say "I'm not praising him for doing what he's supposed to do", or "I'm not taking him for granted! Men shouldn't have such fragile egos." In any long term relationship, little things (goo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/18 03:50 AM
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I've lost faith that the a good number of women will do well in relationships. Most people don't do well in relationships, for at least the past 5 generations. When I was still a teen and needed some direction in life (around late 90s and early 00-ies), I did a wide variety of volunteer work, collecting life-stories from all types of people, and this was the common theme. There's a lot more information easily available to anyone now, and it just seems more dire because you're reading/hearing peo…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/18 03:00 AM
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Leo DiCaprio is mid-40s, but won't date women over 24 years of age. When and if he marries, he's probably going to follow that same rule. Just FYI: https://i.redd.it/4l2lvr2upo421.jpg :p I pointed out that some advice offered on this forum is presented to women as beneficial even if it's harmful to men. All of this paints RPW in a negative light. We've never claimed to be unicorns (nor saints) here --- it's simply what others assume of this sub, and some of us play along simply because it's a to…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 10:35 PM
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I thank my husband for things he does daily or very often, for example: I always thank him for orgasms :p Or: "Thanks for listening", "Thanks for letting me know", "Thanks for carrying that heavy thing", "Thanks for paying." Or just a simple compliment that conveys gratitude, when he does anything that makes me feel loved, like: "I married an amazing kisser", "This is perfect! You're a man of excellent tastes", or "Just being around you makes me happy". It doesn't matter if it sounds awkward/unn…
/r/RedPillWomen27/12/18 10:07 PM
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You've always posted practical advice in this sub, and today I find out that you're also very persuasive at recommending RP-relevant books because you write enticing summaries! Good stuff.
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 07:50 PM
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It's easier to forgive yourself when you're able to forgive (and/or accept) others who do not live up to the standards you expect from them :p PS: By "accept", I mean not trying to "fix" them, nor expect apologies. If you don't like them, and don't feel able to forgive them, just let them be and keep a polite distance (polite, not passive-aggro lol), instead of plotting how to "right" the "wrongs" as you've described: How do I forgive myself and move on? How do I refrain from caring too much abo…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 06:04 PM
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It's a bit odd in terms of RP theory. Women are replaceable. Women are not valued for our individual identity; Most of it outside this sub is only advice intended for men, and it also doesn't describe how most men think, otherwise they wouldn't need the advice to change their thinking to improve their male sexual strategy :p we are valued for our femininity and the support we offer men Yes, but you'd also need an emotional connection (and mutual attraction) with your man, to sustain a healthy ro…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/18 10:28 AM
1

I made a neutral statement based on my observation of your comments and reactions to people's replies here. I specifically used words like "I don't think" (what I think isn't necessarily the actual situation), and "it just sounds to me" (only an interpretation of what you've said). That's an extremely negative and cynical point of view. You're interpreting it that way, because you're projecting negativity and cynicism on my neutral words. Your reaction, however, implies I hit pretty close to hom…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/18 07:31 AM
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Everything you've said is spot on, but I don't think OP's interested in a discussion. It just sounds to me like she's looking for vaildation and/or praise for being a housework martyr: you just learn to enjoy it. I see housework as part of my feminiity so I actually don't like when my man tries to clean things because I feel it's something he shouldn't need to be doing. And if he feels he needs to it's because I'm not doing a good enough job. That hasn't been an issue for a while but the cleanli…
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/18 08:35 PM
3

I have zero recollection of what you're referring to I have no idea which thread/topic it was, I just remember things that made me laugh, and I remember you because I paid attention to what ECs say when I was still new to the sub. If I actually had a problem with anything you've ever said, I wouldn't have stuck around, so this isn't me saying you're wrong :p That doesn't change that there's an objective, measurable good way and not so good way to speak to someone. This applies to people you're n…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/18 05:49 AM
2

Happy husbands don't replace their wives You're talking about after marriage. enough to make a woman irreplaceable enough, to convince a man of abundance to marry her. ^ I'm talking about before marriage, or a relationship that never results in marriage, despite how it's something said woman wants. Not every woman wants marriage, but most do, especially in this sub. An exceptional man has no shortage of women who would do things for him that other men are denied of. Most women want him, and ever…
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/18 03:40 AM
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there's no such thing as exploring fantasies together because yours bore us and ours offend you. This isn't about fantasies :p I was referring to choice of words. Now I'm curious. I'm quite sure you were one of those men who went "NO no no no you shouldn't say that! You must be respectful!" :p This was in a thread many months ago. I didn't have the words back then to explain why and how, but I do now: My husband and I have known each other since before we were legal adults. The language you use …
/r/RedPillWomen18/12/18 03:37 AM
2

Sorry, I failed at expressing myself clearly again lol They are however still the baseline. Yes, as I mentioned (too passingly) : While the basics are all necessary ^ You can't go without the baseline, but how you go about it can vary according to individual preferences. You already know the language I use with my husband in private would offend most men who read this sub :p This is where malleability comes into play. Yes. Ironically, women are most likely to dismiss this particular concept. you…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 09:14 PM
7

What keeps a marriage awesome is joy. What you (generic "you") do doesn't really matter, as long as your man associates you with joy, because you consistently provide joy. This applies to all men. The "3 things" listed in the OP (and in books) work for most men, because most men don't have an abundance mindset. Keeping the average man happy is easy, compared to maintaining the attraction of an exceptional man (such as a man with the caliber to carve his own path instead of choosing between subop…
/r/RedPillWomen17/12/18 06:56 PM
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Keep an eye out for opportunities to volunteer/help out at public fundraising events. Offer to do tasks that allow you to provide services --- this gives you a chance to both learn new skills and interact with a variety of people in a service context, so you have a good reason to make small talk with anyone who seems friendly. Such events are also likely to attract people who have abundance (the mentality), because successful people understand "the more you give, the more you receive" (within th…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 10:53 AM
3

And now we can all live happily ever after Sorry, that's not possible without a proper pinecone battle (since there's no snow yet), to bridge our communication problems.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 10:18 AM
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What I focused on was her sudden change of heart that came as a direct result of having met a new man. If you saw our earlier posts, you'd know that both u/Vellore992 and myself agree that having crushes on random strangers is a character flaw. What we're against, is the advice that she owes her boyfriend the same level of devotion that a husband is entitled to. I suppose this is your answer: Is it within your rights to branch swing until the point of marriage? Who cares? Seriously, who the fuck…
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/18 03:21 AM
1

since people can take it or leave it Precisely! This is why I consider making superficial/reversible changes in a romantic relationship to be a form of vetting. Back when I was still dating, I made changes to be my man's ideal, to "try it on for size". If I didn't like who I'd become, then I'd know he's not the right man for me, and I'd happily leave (when I say happily, I mean to the point where I've never been dumped, because I do the dumping first :p). I know this is.. extreme, so I'm not say…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/18 10:21 PM
1

This sub is inclusive, so the choice to be unmarried, childfree, or career-oriented (all the non-tradcon choices) are valid here. Sometimes, it's difficult to give general advice to toe the line between tradcon and non-tradcon, because many of the values are often conflicting. I can see what you mean and relate to what you say, yet I'm also of the opinion that u/loneliness-inc is only guilty of not framing his advice in a more digestible, less-vague manner that's more focused on OP's actual situ…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/18 07:18 AM
2

Ahh I didn't interpret that part as applicable to the OP, but more of a general statement, for the benefit of anyone else who might be reading this thread. Only this part seems relevant to OP: Some people lose attraction for their SO. The rest of that post are a bunch of questions and a vague statement that could be interpreted in many ways.. lol :p However, I can understand why you'd take issue with the implied "idea that she owes her boyfriend the same level of devotion that a husband is entit…
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/18 12:31 AM
3

Personally, I didn't stop vetting until just before marriage, so I can see where you're coming from. What u/loneliness-inc is trying to say is that vetting isn't about a boyfriend suddenly losing value just because someone of higher (perceived) value showed personal interest. OP knows nothing about this older guy. If his existence as a random stranger could make OP realize she's somehow incompatible with her boyfriend, she's just.. not that invested in her boyfriend in the first place. Making-do…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 11:37 PM
5

^ Good suggestion. Without making changes, you (generic "you") are "a woman". Changing for your man makes you "his woman". Many men don't outright voice their wishes for changes, because the typical reaction from a woman these days is "I'm my own person and you should accept me as I am" or "That's so controlling /abusive /toxic masculinity!" etc. Women want to "tame the desirable alpha man" (a significant change for him), yet want the same man to have no say about his preferences (superficial, r…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 03:07 PM
3

I think the "never say no" policy works in healthy relationships where the man is functioning as her protector by watching her for cues of fitness/lack of fitness. I wish more women understood this. While I could never put it to words as well as you have done here, vetting for a man with good instincts just seem like common sense, but common sense is more endangered than orangutans these days, so this deserves a star (to go with your consistent history of sensible advice <3). u/LuckyLittleStar, …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 04:28 AM
2

isn't this sort of fucked up? It would be fucked up, if he was trying to change her in a "my way or the highway" manner. OP's simply asking for advice on how to process the conflict she feels (an internal conflict), before she approaches the topic with him, because she doesn't want this issue to affect their relationship negatively. Men can't read minds, and he probably wasn't aware how she really felt, until they've had a discussion. According to OP's replies/update further up in the comments, …
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 03:33 AM
3

Ahh I'm sorry. Reading back, it doesn't makes sense to me either! A male-led (RP) relationship requires both: A man who is perceived as attractive enough to inspire submission from his woman (she craves to please him, because it makes her feel good to do so), and A woman who is perceived as flexible enough to be attractive to such a man. Who she is as a woman (the actual woman) is secondary to him, because what's more important to him is if she finds him attractive enough for her to happily subm…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 02:23 PM
6

You know, I've never thought of it that way before, and you're right. I've just never been very interested in spontaneity when it comes to sex, because sex is always far more enjoyable when I've made some plans first. My husband prefers I show some effort for everything from cooking to sex, so this works for us. It's kind of similar to "getting ready for bed": you'd get better sleep, instead of like.. taking a nap in your own crime scene. Sex that's an unexpected interruption makes me just want …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 10:50 AM
8

Solid advice! If I may expand on it: It seems to me that if he wanted a different type of girl, he should have chosen a different type of girl. Malleability in a woman is very attractive to masculine men. Most things men say they like about women are linked to implied malleability: submissiveness sexually enthusiastic (mental/physical flexibility, no hangups, curious and eager for variety, etc) youth (someone who could learn and grow with you) pleasant (available, agreeable, or "a soft landing")…
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 09:17 AM
3

Sex with my husband is having a "conversation" with my best friend (quite literally :p). I'm never not in the mood for non-verbal conversation with him, unless I'm dying or unconscious. If we're busy, we plan ahead. The lack of spontaneity (when we do it) is not an issue when there's plenty of variety in what we do together. Best friends make time for each other, because you associate pleasure (and an outlet to decompress) with their company, especially after you've helped each other bury a few …
/r/RedPillWomen13/12/18 03:00 AM
4

TRP is an action. The answers may seem quick but the path isn't. If a man truly follows it - reads the sidebar, gets in shape, begins to interact with women -- then he will (theoretically) contemplate everything he's taking in and experiencing and synthesize it into his own worldview. It's trying to teach with words what fathers once taught with experiences. You can only say so much - ultimately the 'boy' has to go out and experience it for himself. The contemplation should follow. Women OTOH wi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 02:05 PM
2

most of I what I see is "don't be that guy." Everything my mother has ever taught me in life, was what not to do, and who not to be (and rejecting any man who shared personality traits with my father has served me very well). While it's useful to know what to avoid, it's still not helpful when you don't know what to aim for. TRP can't provide me life-advice because I'm a woman, but I often wander there to find the words (tools) I need to "name" mental concepts/thoughts/opinions --- to give defin…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 01:40 PM
3

men stop by to gauge how women feel about certain topics, sit back, observe and internalize information, but not necessarily take advice from women on topics not directly intended for men...but to understand how RP Women truly feel about Soy Boys/Mama's Boys, wimps, losers, and Beta-Orbiters who have no idea on being masculine, demonstrating leadership and confidence, and assuming what most Red Pill Women consider the "Captain" position in a relationship. It basically women in their natural envi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/12/18 04:27 AM
1

Ahh, I see. Thanks for clarifying! Thanks also for all your TRP writings. Even tho I'm not your intended audience, I relate well with what you have to say, because facts look the same from any perspective.
/r/TheRedPill11/12/18 11:03 PM
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meant in general and real life as well Oh, my bad! I don't give any advice unless asked, and even when asked, I never "give" advice, exactly --- I listen and ask questions to help them find their own answer. Even for things that apply regardless of gender, there's still a difference in choice of words, or different interpretation of the same words, and men process things more productively from their own perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 10:34 PM
6

Most things in life involve change, especially in the context of childbirth, and raising children.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 09:30 PM
9

For men, the place to get good general advice is at TRP, or askTRP for more personal advice. I saw a post around here recently that seemed to complain about RPW not helping men. I was wondering how you all feel about this and what your motivations are? Men coming here to "get help" are men who need help reading the rules.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 09:19 PM
1

If I'm understanding what you're saying correctly (in the context of the original trad-con question): a man who is a big fan of "traditional relationships" is still considered "red-pilled" because what he's doing is learning how to be the best "traditional".. boyfriend (because marriage is a dumb idea) ..? Or did I lose the ball somewhere along the way?
/r/TheRedPill11/12/18 08:38 PM
10

Are there any other signs of The Man Who Won't Work? Resistance or aversion to change. This can manifest in many different ways: Disinterest in continuous self-improvement. Unwillingness to try new approaches to solve problems: "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" way of thinking. A capable man is a curious man who'd think "if it ain't broke, learn why it's unbreakable" so he could have information to create more unbreakable things. Has a hissy fit when he's forced to adapt to unexpected situations…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/18 08:03 PM
2

If you behave like a lazy, sullen teenager at home and your wife views you as another child she has to scold and pick up after, she's probably not going to think of you in sexual terms. This is what I've observed in the majority of marriages, among everyone I've ever known well enough to know mundane details about their lives. It doesn't even make a difference if the husband's masculine or ..soft (squishy?). This was the reason why I was so squeamish about marriage for the longest time. On a tan…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/12/18 04:28 PM
2

Thanks for sharing your thoughts! I always appreciate it. being a good provider actually can be attractive, not because women need one (attraction cannot be negotiated), but because the ability to do so is proof of competence that exceeds hers. Superior competence (or the perception of such) is necessary to inspire any woman to submit, yes. However, competence (in the context of being a provider) is a variable that rely on many factors to remain favorable. For instance, if a man's skills should …
/r/TheRedPill11/12/18 11:02 AM
4

are tied for "most anti-Tradcon" For the longest time, I've been questioning why tradcon is compatible on any level with TRP, at all. Men who praise how great "traditional" relationships are, tend to be the type of man who only harp about needing to "control" women because they're not able to inspire a woman to control herself (in the context of happily submitting to him) without external pressure through religious guilt or social norms. Saying how "society"/culture should be keeping women in li…
/r/TheRedPill11/12/18 05:18 AM
3

Do you want to be a "traditional" woman? No. "Traditional" is only a comfortable pigeonhole for pigeon-shaped people. I take pleasure in not being a financial burden to my husband, because that gives us more freedom (and less stress in general, for sure). Men of abundance have no problem committing to women who don't limit their freedom (ideally, she provides him with even more options, instead of limiting his options). Since my husband spends a lot of quality time with me, he's still "providing…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/12/18 05:35 PM
8

I like my husband having experience with other women on a regular basis (friends, etc), because it always makes him more appreciative of me. Many men take their wives for granted, because they don't have the perspective to realize what they have (often, until their marriage starts to unravel). As for myself, I'm bisexual, so I'll laugh in the face of anyone trying to limit my friends by gender :p Generally, you should vet for a partner who shares your values, whatever those values may be. What's…
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/18 06:30 AM
1

not feeling very loved recently If I don't feel loved, the first question I ask myself is "have I done enough recently to make my man feel loved?" Things like errands, housework, and cooking meals --- as necessary as they are, these sadly don't really make a man "feel loved", if they're not combined with more important things like displays of affection and respect.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/18 12:46 PM
13

Ladylike behavior isn't feminine in and of itself. Prissiness is actually off-putting in a woman who brings no joy to others with her presence. A woman is especially feminine when she's able to adapt her behavior to fit (/be relaxed) in any situation, while making others around her feel at ease. need some help developing a more feminine air about me. Femininity isn't about putting on airs, nor "looking like a prim and proper lady". It's about how you relate to others, and how you make them feel.…
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/18 11:33 AM
3

You know by now how much I hate this though :-P haha I know, and I can't help it. This is a sidestep from the initial topic, Since OP has completely stepped out, we may as well put the space to good use :p protective love can flow from a woman to a man however it negates the female sex drive. Yes, precisely. When you include the context of sex, everything switches into primal mode, and nature doesn't care about compassion. A kind and sensitive man covered in puppies and kittens is only signaling…
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/18 05:56 AM
2

I think my favorite movie with a feminine main female character is The Mummy (1999). Since this is also one of my husband's all-time favorites, we enjoy watching it together. I also enjoy watching Rachel Weisz in Constantine (2005). For top personal favorites.. since my heart is a dusty little dark raisin, the movies I love the most have stories that are either metaphors or non-linear. My most recent favorite is Annihilation (2018).
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 10:43 AM
3

Btw I went digging through TRP (because I vaguely recall reading posts related to this a long time ago) and found some links that may be of interest (ie: RP material with which to beat over the heads of the obtuse that wander in here) : https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/25dvmb/complaining_about_women_is_not_progress/ https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/25h4ne/complaining_is_not_progress_part_2_the_space/ complaining about a problem doesn't fix the problem. In fact, it is the …
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 09:21 AM
2

it's repeat so often ow, Sorry I broke my english there lol I should've checked first :p I'm not sure that mockery makes any sort of sense as a response. teenage girls let their emotions get the better if them. Emotions aren't logical, so the response makes sense to me :p Sometimes there's also a disconnect between what's felt and what's said. This is where non-verbal communication makes up for it. Edit: found the article I had in mind: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4i219p/rule_6a…
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 03:01 AM
2

it's a hit to the ego that someone you aren't attracted to believes themselves to be on your level This is a myopic male perspective that only sounds "red-pilled" because it's repeat so often that it's assumed to be true. If a woman isn't emotionally invested first (in the context of sexual attraction), a man showing emotional vulnerability to her (in the context of sexual/romantic interest) would be as naturally repulsive to her as a child (someone looking for nurturing comfort) asking her for …
/r/RedPillWomen03/12/18 02:28 AM
4

My point was that women on PPD couldn't manage to spell out a single flaw of their husbands while men happily told flaws of their wives when such thread was made. Women who don't have the perfect husband would be busy making that happen in real life, instead of complaining about their spouse's flaws in a sub where popcorn-enthusiasts and misfits debate about inconsequential matters. Men would have better marriages if they spent their time improving things in real life, instead of looking for val…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/18 10:23 PM
1

Obviously :p Hell, I'm not even compatible with most men.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/18 10:00 PM
1

Couldn’t find a woman good enough for you? haha It's more mutual than that. Having the emotional capacity of a diode makes me incompatible with women for any long term romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/12/18 08:55 PM
3

Don't you think unregulated scissor rights in a handjob-based free market sound like an economic system set up for failure? :p I'm all for scissor rights for chimps, as long as there're licence restrictions, and no running is allowed.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/18 08:14 PM
3

They are taught to distrust everything they are told as a step towards thinking for themselves. Yeah for some reason, this is beyond the capacity of the majority, and the mindless majority spreading their derp-ies is the main reason TRP is even quarantined, imo. I'm not sure how to say it any clearer than that Personally, I've already given up hope of being understood. it's not an unknown phenomenon It's common knowledge in my social circles as well. Everyone knows sexual peak means "energy/eage…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/18 05:01 AM
7

I can't help but wonder what level of hangups or selective understanding (because solipsism is only a female problem ~cough~) that a man is suffering from, that the fact of the female sexual peak having nothing to do with men (because it's simply something to do with our biology) is completely beyond their comprehension --- to the point that they feel so.. attacked (?) on a personal level, that they are so invested in supporting a male misconception :p I'm both confused and fascinated by this th…
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/18 12:42 AM
3

I sincerely admire how you articulate caveats in a way that's both straightforward and comprehensive. There isn't an easy check list for husband material. We would have it on the sidebar if there was! If there's a list for what actions indicate which trait (in a general, "most likely" context), that would be good enough for government work :P Since there's no way to achieve an exhaustive list, I'm mainly thinking of something like an "absolute beginner's guide".
/r/RedPillWomen27/11/18 12:50 AM
4

Ironically, my husband wouldn't pass her vetting, but most of his "red flags" are what I love about him, which also says scandalous things about the type of person I am :p
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/18 11:13 PM
5

It's also easier to recognize, evaluate, and truly appreciate desirable traits in others, when you have those traits yourself <3 u/pearlsandstilettos : +1 from me, please? This sub could always use more practical vetting tips.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/18 11:02 PM
5

cc - u/durtyknees Your Fortune Cookie Today: Your dedication to helping Rollo sell freezers to eskimos is commendable. Daily Soul Quote: There is no problem that is not improved by effort, and no effort that is too paltry to be worth undertaking. — Sam Waterston Lucky Numbers: 25, 17, 34, 10, 9, 7
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 07:49 PM
13

Doesn't change the facts about female sex drive, though. I can see it's upsetting to you guys, but isn't red pill about reals over feels? Yes it is. I've noticed many men love to hamster, but they call it "being rational" instead of "rationalizing", because: Rationalization Hamster is a creature which lives in a woman's brain, and feverishly spins the hamster wheel which helps her rationalize and justify her thoughts, behavior and actions regardless of how counterintuitive they may be. No amount…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/18 02:25 AM
12

That's the major talking point. Perhaps. And the point that's whooshing over male heads (especially OP's head) here is: Nobody in this sub is trying to convince anyone that older women are more desirable than younger women. So an increase in sex drive doesn't increase our SMV when we're older --- alrighty then. Nobody is disagreeing here. Outside religious communities, virginity/purity actually depreciates with age, so it's not even relevant as any form of "advice". Surely you know this, since y…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 08:39 PM
1

Penis first Yeah, who needs a ventriloquist puppet when you can just unzip the one you're packing?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/18 06:24 AM
2

If you reek of despair and romantic folly, you'll only attract others who either feed off it (farm you for delicious despair), or resonate with it (help you multiply your despair). If you want a better reality, you need to change .
/r/PurplePillDebate24/11/18 06:13 AM
8

Hell yeah :) Sexual voracity is also cultivated from positive experiences. My husband and I are both in our mid 30s, and the biggest difference I've noticed is that my orgasms are more intense now, compared to during my 20s. There's just less effort required for better rewards --- with the very same man I've bounced with for more than a decade. Instead of sex getting more mellow with time (or the "ebb and flow" version) for us, it's revved up its engines the older we got. I've also never been pr…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 05:42 AM
6

I submit it might be best if Rollo posts this information where men are likely to see it and understand the implications of negative societal programming. Yes. So...my PRO TIP stands. I'm living your Pro Tip (been there, done that), so yeah it does :p
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 05:07 AM
32

The Myth of Sexual Peak is a tool in this competition, but it is squarely directed at shaming men Have you ever considered that not everything published about women is about "shaming men"? Objective attractiveness and the peak of sexual drive are also separate things. Women in their 30s are more inclined to be sexual, simply because our bodies know it's the "last call" before the fertility-ship sails. This has nothing to do with looks (sex appeal) --- it's about increasing efficiency before our …
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/18 04:05 AM
2

Anything more I could do? Have you asked him?
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 09:47 PM
14

I imagine it's like what a dog does with delicious bacon, except without chewing.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 09:45 PM
12

Flexibility of mind and body, because: Different men have different preferences. A man used to having plenty of options would desire some variety in any long term relationship. A woman's malleability (or perceived malleability, signaled by femininity, youth, innocence, eagerness, etc) is what makes a woman attractive to a masculine man. You need to be healthy of mind and body to be flexible in a way that's desirable, and health is signaled by perceived beauty (adjustable with makeup, clothing, m…
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 05:11 PM
2

Sometimes shill bots almost sound like lonely kids with niche interests.
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 10:51 AM
2

Since my husband is a big fan of monster movies and often gives me monster pet names, I'm sure you're not wrong :p
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/18 02:44 AM
1

Yeah, context makes all the difference, for anything in life. The facts surrounding sexual experience (the facts of when, how, why, who, what, etc that contributed to the n-count) are far more pertinent to judge someone by. People who'd jump to conclusions (whether positive or negative) about an "n-count" (whether high or low, it's just a data point with no context) are the type of mentally-challenged people who'd make lousy partners anyway. I'm a slut, and I've always advertized this fact to po…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/18 02:23 AM
0

It so happens that things will not change for as long as men act like children. Sadly, there're just not enough actual adults to go around these days. Childish people only raise perpetual-children.
/r/TheRedPill21/11/18 09:54 PM
1

Yep! The important thing is not to drag out any long distance relationship, as LDRs can sometimes be an unintentional outcome of "shopping elsewhere", since life can be unpredictable. LDRs aren't a problem as long as you have a solid timeframe, clear communication, and realistic expectations.
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/18 09:30 PM
1

you have to work within your reality, or move. I wish more people understood this fact, or at least consider being more location-flexible when it comes to navigating relationships. Sure, cultural differences may be a negative factor, but if the local marketplace isn't favorable, there's no reason for anyone (especially a highly-skilled educated woman) to limit themselves by not moving. Also, personal values and principles can be similar enough to align harmoniously, regardless of race or culture…
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/18 09:13 PM
2

haha I like the way you think <3
/r/RedPillWomen21/11/18 08:53 PM
1

Please be as either practical or pie-in-the-sky as you like I'll try to be both: Have a battle royale as a mandatory rite of passage (at 18 or so), resulting in: People being more invested in helping their children grow up to be independent and functional, instead of coddled and entitled idiots in adult bodies. Population control, which means more resources available for everyone. Future generations are more likely to survive any alien invasions or zombie apocalypse.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/18 10:25 PM
17

I know I'm "attractive enough" for all my intents and purposes (a quantifiable fact), and that's all that really matters to me. I'm fit and symmetrical, but I have a noticeable scar on my face, so I could be a 5 or 4, for all I know lol I just don't care, because it doesn't affect my life in any way. Look at any ratings chart with photo examples, and you could easily swap around any woman from 6 to 10, depending on lighting and makeup (especially easy with celebs, as you can search for pics of t…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/18 09:34 PM
1

haha That's very true.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/18 09:12 PM
1

But she can always dingy out. Yep, especially since there's a priority given to women and children :p
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/18 05:24 AM
1

The better and more adult way I've yet to see any evidence of such^ at r/marriedredpill . If I was a dude suffering in the chains of domestication, I wouldn't be busy man-hamstering ways to cope with it. I'd take the nearest exit at all cost. It's almost as if the TRP founders set up that sub as a shining example of how miserable, stressful, and tedious most marriages are, for the average guy. "Mystery"/dread is only necessary for men with as much depth as a baking tray --- as long as you keep i…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/18 05:14 AM
1

haha Yeah it does sound convoluted. Basically, we were both incompatible for any logical attempt at a romantic relationship at the time we first met. You know how most people aren't "fully developed" (personal preferences and principles, goals etc) until their mid 20s or so. Being all-too-familiar with abuse as a child, I only wanted to date the "safe options" (the paragons of virtue :p) until I figured things out, and my man was the opposite of "safe". Of course that didn't stop me from being a…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/18 08:15 PM
4

First saw him in high school. I stalked him to gather intel on whether he's worth gathering intel on, then slowly worked my way into his social circle so he's in my zone-of-friendship. I spent many years vetting him as a friend (I made a point to be an indispensable, actual friend, because I genuinely like him), because I was never loved as a child and I have trust issues and cynicism on a Patrick Bateman level. We dated other people while we were friends, and I helped him vet his plates to mini…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/18 04:35 AM
4

I work in a high end restaurant, everyone smokes and drinks - it’s just kinda the culture While I totally understand the noir-romance appeal of such a culture, it's also 2018 now, and anyone who isn't aware of the long term consequences of regular smoking/alcohol is either in denial, or willfully ignorant. If you want to vet well for a man who makes good decisions (especially the decisions that matter), and who'd make a good life-partner ("until death do us part" and all that), you need to vet f…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/18 12:49 AM
8

his answer was “It wouldn’t stop me from seeing you if you’re trying to say you’re catching feelings,” He's trying to tell you he's indifferent to the outcome of your current situation. I feel like I’m going crazy a little. Because you're not vetting, and the part of you that still has common sense is protesting.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/18 06:21 PM
2

can you women explain this to me? I'm the type of woman who thinks Ryan Gosling looks hideous (his facial features are all crooked and makes me twitch), so I don't think I'm qualified to explain why women find certain things appealing. what are some non sexual things that you find erotic? The sound of my husband washing the dishes. A freshly-washed husband on fresh sun-baked sheets. r/OrganizationPorn Scratchy cheap lace/ ripping them. A full english breakfast. Coffee/ watching my husband drink …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/18 05:54 PM
2

he was outside smoking If smoking (or indulging in alcohol) is something he does regularly (say, more than once a month), then he's the type of man who isn't particularly concerned about the consequences of his actions. A man's habits speak volumes about his personality (and his values). If you intend to vet well, you should be focused on figuring out who he is as a person.
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/18 04:42 PM
4

TIL some humans are fainting goats.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/18 08:54 AM
6

My husband vents all his frustrations with me, but this is an old habit by now, as we're best friends before we even started any serious relationship. I don't offer advice/solutions. My job as his sounding board is to listen and only ask questions that could help him think through his particular problem aloud. Sometimes, venting is less about the problem, and more about his need to decompress, so I play it by ear. Generally we're very quiet around each other (you could say our "conversations" te…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/18 05:14 AM
1

There are multiple problems with the bonobo meme, and I'm just tired of seeing it at this point. haha Same here. I especially facepalm when someone sabotages their own good points in a debate by including it. I'm just.. "Why'd you do that? You were doing so well, and I was rooting for you!" lol But I respect those who realize it was a bad move and able to laugh at themselves for having done it. Most people just double down on defenses, instead of come to their senses :p
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/18 03:49 AM
6

I'm very grateful that both my parents were uninterested in homeschooling. No matter the flaws of the education system, attending public school not only provided me some much-needed respite from an unhealthy home environment (a positive change of scenery), it also provided me the chance to properly grow as a person by unlearning all the things drilled into me as a child, that would've otherwise crippled me as an adult. The school I attended also had a good library, and that changed my life the m…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 06:45 AM
3

Perhaps I should clarify.. :p I'm not giving him a star for being snarky to a specific person. What he said is a stand-alone quotable quote that I, personally, intend to use like a verbal club on anyone I should come across declaring bonobos as a valid example for human nature. Any intentions of snark aside, the statement itself is also "red-pilled" because anyone who thinks bonobos are valid when we're discussing human beings, seriously need a reality check. And just for the record, I actually …
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/18 03:18 AM
2

In the context of men in a relationship: Vulnerable = clear, honest (sometimes emotional) communication. This only works with a woman who is supportive, trustworthy, a good listener, and realistic --- she expects him to fail and know how to recover. Being vulnerable with a childish woman (the type TRP warns men against committing to) is always a bad idea. Needy = like a child needing mommy.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/18 10:06 PM
5

There's no need for a trade-off if "raging unapologetic masculinity" is what a woman really wants. I mean, I married such a man, and our principles and preferences are all aligned. Neither of us are interested in being poly (too much drama :p), but temporary non-monogamy/swinging is quite common for us (I'm bi, so I like women as much as he does). I don't consider my husband a "jerk", but I'm sure his behavior/traits would cause outrage around any crusty church lady :p I think women who are extr…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/18 09:34 PM
7

It's more about "like attracts like", because self-hatred manifests in: Jerk behavior, and/or being an alcoholic/addict from a desperation for good-feels, to drown out all that screaming insecurity inside. Being attracted to jerks, because they don't think they deserve anyone better. Self-fulfilling prophecies --- someone with strong biases would only notice/accept jerks that fit into their worldview.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/18 09:09 PM
2

An n-count is nothing more than a data point that can't provide the full picture without meaningful context. However, the way people tend to make all kinds of assumptions based on a mere data point will always keep this sub lively.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 06:12 AM
2

It seems all the bonobo example really proves is that discussion might be a bit too sophisticated for you. I want to give you a star for this.. hey u/pearlsandstilettos, can I ..? :D
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 04:05 AM
2

Wuss rhymes with low-mess :p Besides, I'd rather use my time to bounce thoughts and opinions, instead of collect empty air from ruffled feathers (while it's most entertaining, the novelty also wears off quick). it obviously bothers enough men that you are decreasing the number of Potentials. There are men who ask the right questions, and men who only ask "traditional"/culturally-influenced questions. The type of men who make the best leaders are men who only ask questions that matter, and they a…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/18 03:50 AM
2

Since this comment thread is off the main page and I'm late enough to the party, I can speak my mind here with low probability of starting a riot. In my extensive experience "slutting around", the "n-count" is meaningless --- unless you're the type of woman with hamster problems, or highly emotional about sex to the point that it could compromise your "ability to pair-bond". What fascinates me is that nobody cares to talk about STDs/STIs/sexual health history being a factor. Surely it's not just…
/r/RedPillWomen13/11/18 08:51 PM
1

The villain's main squeeze.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/11/18 01:15 AM
3

Yeah yours is the ideal n-count combo for the foundation of a good marriage, I think. I don't actually know what my n-count is, because I don't know what "counts" lol I'm heavily into kink, so "sexual contact" is a very vague concept for me (not all kink involves literal sex, but all kink is sexual).
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 07:56 PM
2

I seriously love the way you use words.
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 07:16 PM
4

how did you know that your husband was interested in marriage? Because he knows marriage was the outcome I eventually want from any romantic relationship, and chose to date me. Views on marriage/divorce, never wanting children, STD/STI status/history, kink needs/sexual compatibility, personal principles, etc, were all things we knew about each other, before we started dating, because we were friends first --- this was a time before dating apps (I'm mid-30s now). However, neither of us had any ha…
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 07:06 PM
6

Very sensible and more importantly: actionable advice. This has the best chance of fixing the problem by processing it at its core. Only recently I'm able to give stars, and you can have my first! u/pearlsandstilettos: +1 star from me, please?
/r/RedPillWomen08/11/18 06:35 PM
14

Marriage is important to me, because I want at least one person who is legally my "family", who actually cares about my well-being.
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/18 01:08 AM
2

which ones are the most effective. In my experience, the combination of all of them :p There's no reason you can't be the nerdy slutty "cool girl" (in the Gillian Flynn context) who is crazy in all the fun drama-free ways, and blessed with Cookie Monster's appetite (sex burns calories very well, so this is a slut's perk).
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/18 12:39 AM
1

Great points and good food for thought, thank you!
/r/TheRedPill06/11/18 12:26 AM
4

Because they DO care about male sex-worthiness. The main reason the word "consent" is used is because male sex-worthiness is not a fixed status. The main reason for most conflict/misunderstandings between genders is because men tend to forget that women have minds that are more fluid than a cat in liquid form --- whether this is a plus or minus depends entirely on how god-tier a man is. A god-tier man (such as yourself) would love any woman's innate malleability, while mere-mortal men are going …
/r/TheRedPill04/11/18 07:52 PM
1

In general, I have (non-sexual :p) conversations to connect with people, and sex is just another type of conversation for me. I'm not a spiritual nor feelsy person, so it's more about connection and less about "meaning", although establishing a meaningful connection is the end goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/18 03:20 AM
1

Sex is a romantic orgasmic conversation I have with my man to tell him my real feelings for him, with unfiltered physical intensity: high body temperature from lust, a wildly thumping heart, involuntary spasms of pleasure, dying-animal noises, tears, snot, drool, sweat, farts, and sometimes loss of consciousness during the afterglow.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/18 02:43 AM
2

There's a slight disconnect between: the ideas that are loudly pimped on TRP the intention behind pimping those ideas (to encourage an abundance mindset) and the actual truth: Having "options" doesn't mean you never just...pick one.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 10:04 PM
1

But it WOULD be interesting to hear some thoughts on men needing to take measures to avoid growing old and lonely Yep! I know nothing about this, so I'll be only reading. (maybe in the context of that weird TRP belief that attractive men don't have relationships?) As far as I understand of TRP concepts, attractive men can have any relationship they wish to have. Long term relationships tend to give less juice for the squeeze because most "fruits"(? haha) aren't juicy. Attractive men have LTRs on…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 09:36 PM
1

Never-married women are actually the MOST likely demographic to have companionship in their old age. Platonic companionship, and the (emotional) validation from a romantic partner/spouse are not the same. And yet nobody ever talks about the (IMO, really sad) risk of men "growing old and alone." Why is that? Probably because old lonely men aren't active on PPD? I'd be interested to read threads about this topic, actually. it seems like women are better than men at creating security Only because w…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 09:09 PM
2

I'm made-to-order (we "grew up" together since our teenage years, and in many ways, I'm the product of his influence). I doubt my husband would've married me if I was a stock item from the wife shop.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 08:43 PM
0

It's so important you now have laws that allow a man to keep paying (security) well after they divorce. I should've clarified that I meant no marriage and no kids, when I described getting pumped-and-dumped. What women risk the most, while trying to earn commitment from "high value" men, is their time (their limited years of youth and fertility, where they have the best leverage). There is very little risk involved for women. Even with the security of payments, they're still growing old and alon…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 01:39 PM
2

Worst case scenario in the context of relationships: For men: being divorce-raped (correct me if I'm wrong :p). For women: growing old and alone. The ideal partner (to make risks worth taking) are "high value" men, or "high value" (unicorn) women. Women risk being pumped-and-dumped to try earn the commitment of "high value" men (men who are most unlikely to ever commit). Men take the risk of committing to a woman he perceives as a unicorn. The thing about unicorns is that most of them know their…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/18 12:49 PM
8

The advice you've posted in a different thread are things that, when put into practice, have consistently produced ideal results (inspire commitment by maintaining heightened emotional connection and sexual excitement almost indefinitely) in my experience, and I think it's great (albeit not RPW-typical) advice for any woman who could resonate with it. I hope you don't mind me quoting what you said here, so others reading this thread may benefit from your post that they may have missed in the oth…
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/18 01:13 AM
8

Entirely depends on: Whether the personal principles of the people involved are compatible. Vetting/whether the relationship only took a bad turn after 5+ years of mutual happiness. If neither ^ is true, then there's no point in wasting time trying to polish a turd :p If both parties have compatible personal principles and know how to create happiness together for many years previously, then the relationship deserves saving (more than just "try" --- "try" is an insult in this context). And I say…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/18 12:13 PM
1

"Support" can have different interpretations, and he likely thinks that his hard work is a form of support to you as a long term priority, and your support to him on his hard days fuel his support for you in your long term goals of building a life together. He is very very busy and has many things going on in his life, and while he tells me I’m his long term priority, I can’t help feel like I’m not in the short term. Is he also supposed to make time to meet my needs on my hard days? That’s sort …
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 09:03 PM
1

you could understand why I am adamant about this topic, despite it's ostensible futility. haha Yes :p I probably relate better because I'm a bi woman who stopped being mostly-lesbian because I'm simply not born with a man's natural generosity to be able to tolerate a woman's nature (generally speaking) in the context of a long term romantic relationship. I often say to my husband "I hope I'm not annoying you", and his reply is always "You're not annoying.. yet." (We're obviously childfree lol)
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 08:13 PM
1

he’s not choosing to not call most days, he’s just busy. I’ve told him how big of a difference he can make by just sending me a message each day reminding me how much I mean to him. But often, it seems he doesn’t even have the time to do that. A busy man only have time for self-care when he has some time to himself. Healthy self-care includes both physical and emotional/mental well-being. If he's not making some time for you the same way he'd make some time to eat or brush his teeth every day, i…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 07:43 PM
2

You've put many things into words that would be helpful for any woman who wishes to be more understanding of the male perspective, thank you. Some of my input on the female perspective: Choosing to receive or reject is an action itself. You cannot absolve yourself of the responsibility of action, thereby you cannot absolve yourself of the responsibility to verify that your action is good for you and those around you. Deep down, all women (and all men) know this, and it's the reason why women (in…
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/18 07:11 PM
2

My issue with your advice is that it comes with the limitations of a male perspective, especially how it doesn't take into account that emotional support from her husband (a man who would feel respected and appreciated by being kept in the loop) may be the most important factor to her eventual success to make a permanent improvement --- because her intentions behind this effort to improve herself directly involves and affects him. she has talked to her husband about what she is doing. since she …
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/18 03:21 AM
8

We're either unicorns or AWALT depending on how much they agree or disagree in any particular exchange :-) haha True, true. Applied to commitment, few women have abundance. A self-imposed limitation, imo. Before I started dating my now-husband, I've always been the one squeamish about commitment because of my personal values regarding marriage --- if I marry, it's for life (ie: I'll have to murder someone if I'm unhappy, and murder is such a chore :p). I often wonder if commitment is easier to h…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/18 01:00 AM
29

I've never concerned myself with dating up/down. What I aim for is a man who shares the same mindset. Mindset is similar to values and worldview, but the same values/worldview would be interpreted/would manifest very differently when making decisions or taking action (how you put it to practice) with different mindsets. Mindset is not only a better measure of a person's potential, it also determines how compatible you are when you communicate/connect. It's much easier for someone to understand w…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 10:07 PM
2

holding a grudge against him for something he said to me after an argument I started haha I can relate. Remember that what upsets you (general "you") the most is always something you dislike about yourself (whether or not it's true, or whether you only do it subconsciously because you have doubts, hangups/denials, etc). When someone else accuses you of being that "something", or you see someone else being that "something" (you can tell I'm not very good with words :p), it just pisses you off. fo…
/r/RedPillWomen25/10/18 09:47 PM
2

I should have kept it quiet our relationship before this has been up and down. Weve been together for 6 years and been though good and bad times. Relationships have far less ups and downs if you put in serious effort to clarify things with your husband. A man who is kept in the loop about matters that directly involve him, is a man who feels respected. Encouraging his input while you keep him informed will also make it obvious his opinions are important to you. You don't have to make it a confro…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 10:35 PM
1

Once your husband sees that you are pushing through, despite his reservations, despite your feelings of discouragement from him, and are keeping true to your commitment, he cant deny that you are being genuine now can he? Men respect hard work, and he will respect yours. While I don't disagree with you, there's also a lot of covert contracts here. While "show them and not tell them" is good advice, it's also making a lot of assumptions that they'd magically understand what you're "showing" (in h…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 10:11 PM
2

Thinking in terms of black and white should only be used to simplify a situation and better understand it. One should never believe that either black or white is true. Yes. Also, not all truths can be described and understood/accepted without having personal experience of it. Since interpretation of both "truths" and personal experiences may vary for different people, what is "true" for one person may not be "true" for another. People often dismiss exceptions to explain why something is a genera…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/18 09:25 PM
1

I'm the overt type, so I didn't mind the question. Silly questions asked in the context of humor is also not a problem. To answer your main question (since I'm replying here lol), one way to vet well is to be like a Rorschach inkblot on legs: read what your partner reveal about themselves, based on their interpretation of you.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/18 08:35 AM
2

A potential date once asked me: "What do you bring to the table?", and he hated my answer: "A second table." I was extremely amused that he assumed the "table" I "brought" was an empty one. I moved on to date someone else who likes having more than one "table" for our collective brings.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/18 07:18 AM
1

I will make sure to be mindful of my decisions. Yes, but also don't worry too much about getting everything right/perfect, because you can't plan for/predict everything. Mistakes aren't setbacks; they're lessons to learn from. Not only is nobody perfect, you'd also do better in relationships if you're accepting of (and open about) your own flaws (and accepting of the flaws of others). Also, I’m curious what do men value when looking for a LTR? Most men would be attracted to women who are: Femini…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 10:04 PM
3

I imagine you're at the point in your life where everyone around you would have opinions about what you "should" do with your life, which is why I'm saying take some time to explore on your own, and find your own answers (learn what you want in life first --- it could be very different from what others value in their own lives, and what you think you want might not be what you expect when you have it, etc :p). Don't be afraid to try things outside your comfort zone (with more facts, you'll have …
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/18 03:29 AM
7

If you could go back in time, what advice would you give your 18 year old self? My 18 year old self would analyze the hell out of any advice (the most suspicious advice would be from people who benefit from me following their advice), and I don't recall taking anyone's advice without first disassembling it. Any solid, good advice can be put back together without falling apart. Even when I took something to heart, I always continue testing and questioning it. Anything that's actually true would b…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/18 11:49 PM
8

Lose weight by eating less, or moving more. Don't be too obsessed with dieting, because the goal isn't to "lose weight" but to keep the unhealthy weight off permanently. Healthy habits (not dieting) is how you do it, imo. I'm vegan Make sure you're taking sufficient vitamin supplements for what you're lacking from being vegan, because this is likely contributing to the fact you're overweight: your body isn't getting what it needs from your diet to properly metabolize your food. I don't personall…
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/18 11:02 AM
2

a lot like water haha Well, they always say men are thirsty.. :p I think that it was always there but it’s such a softness, I guess I was afraid it wasn’t also strong. The general concept/cultural perception of femininity has now been expertly cultivated to generate profit, so the focus (what's marketed with products, portrayed in media, etc) is all about what you can either pay to get, or adopt as a trend/trendy thing to do. This form of "femininity" is not a substitute for the raw instincts of…
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/18 08:46 AM
2

Yes, there's a difference between truths that are irrefutable facts, and nihilism (the most negative interpretation/perception of said facts). Many "RedPill men" confuse these as one and the same, because hamstering is something men also do :P
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/18 08:07 PM
7

to soften your man in an argument and calm him down in a feminine way To be actually feminine is to be flexible, meaning don't make someone else's problem be about you --- don't manipulate someone else (with tears or whatever) to bend to you, because your emotions/opinions do not matter when someone has blown their lid. Anger is always a personal matter to the person being angry. This is the time when STFU (not just your mouth, but your facial expressions and body language/actions) is truly cruc…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/18 07:42 PM
14

feel free to comment about important things you learned or about some of your struggles that you overcame I was raised religious and traditional, and I had to unlearn all the "virtues" hammered into me in an attempt to make me useful to serve the purposes of others, while sacrificing my own basic human/female needs (things in life that actually make life worth living) that are considered "sinful" (often because fulfilling such needs do not benefit the person giving me such "advice" --- it doesn'…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/18 11:34 AM
2

men of abundance who want to reward a girl "Reward" is difficult for me to relate to, as a motivation factor. In my experience with my husband, marriage isn't in the category of "rewards", it's in the category of "claim ownership of her, in the most public and legally-binding manner possible, in a culture where marriage favors men (where divorced women are social pariahs)" :p But then again, this is the same man who knows I'm strangely Catholic about marriage (despite no longer going to church),…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 03:19 AM
3

I was not the one to oversimplify with the milk quote, to be clear, haha I know <3 So far, I'm the only one in this thread truly guilty of running with the milk metaphor (I love dairy products, so I can't help it). And yeah, I agree with you.
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 08:00 PM
3

However, I'd be hesitant to recommend moving in with anyone with the intention of making them marriage-minded. Short term cohabitation (with lots of communication about hopes and plans for the future, instead of "wait and see" or covert contracts) has its merits, but it's also situational (logistics, I suppose?). If the "milk sample" is really good, you could get him addicted, and you could inspire him to change his mind, but if a woman wants to use this strategy, she must be willing to accept p…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 07:21 PM
9

If this seems frightening and risky to you, then you have not yet fully understood RP theory, or men. It's frightening and risky to any woman without abundance (especially of youth/time), who wants to get married. "Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" This is a scarcity strategy, and I've seen it work with men who are more family-oriented/traditional, or men who are already keen on marriage. I've never seen it work with men who have abundance (the mindset, not about status/money), …
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 06:42 PM
6

I have permanent scars on my face (since childhood). I don't see those scars without a mirror, and nobody has ever given me any grief about my scars (of course I've received all types of comments, but I was never harassed, and I don't make a big deal about it). So for me, it's: "Out of sight, out of mind!" :p Don't let "flaws" (especially superficial/temporary ones that could be fixed with chemical peels) define you as a person, because they don't, and you'd be doing yourself an injustice.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/18 05:08 AM
9

why wouldn't the onus be on the husband as well to fix this issue? Masculine nature is confrontational, so when there's conflict, his instinct is to resist. This makes a man resilient against life's various challenges, but can also make him uncooperative or unwilling to compromise. What a woman (one who embraces her femininity) does best is dissolving masculine resistance --- to resolve that conflict by yielding first (having the initiative to make amends first). Yielding in a committed relation…
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/18 04:51 AM
2

Your motives are your business and your business alone... the same actions will produce the same results regardless. This policy also allows some very different people with very different values to focus here on the subset of those values that they share, and to get along. This is how you can have harmonious and productive discussions here between very, very religious tradcon women, and hardcore BDSM girls, and everything in between. What they all share is not a lifestyle, a set of values, or a …
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/18 11:51 PM
1

But that's not really the way memory works. A "neural net" structure, like the brain, doesn't really have a distinction between processing things (thinking about them) and storing things (memory). There's also: The Event (what actually happened, and all the details of who, when, how, what, etc) The Lesson (what you learned from what happened, for example, I learned how to manipulate my abusive parents to avoid being the target of their neverending mindless hatred) Remembering the Event serves no…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/18 10:47 PM
1

I gave you an upvote ;) Nooo it burnss! I don't agree on all your arguments It would be helpful for anyone else reading this, to hear your perspective as well. I've seen you give some good advice in this sub. Thank you! Most welcome <3
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 03:49 PM
4

My replies in this thread are only based on my impression of what's provided in the OP, so keep in mind that her true situation could be different, and my impression about her bf could be completely wrong. I'll quote the descriptions that gave me that impression, so you could make your own conclusions: he speaks to me a little harshly I've increasingly started noticing this This one is particularly important: It makes me not want to submit to him If you're not compelled to submit to a man, alway…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 03:04 PM
0

Relationships tend to go pretty well for the first two years (in general), and then it either becomes better or worse. OP's situation is 4 years of a long distance relationship, so that's extra tricky to navigate. If things don't go well, shields definitely start going up in later stages of the relationship: annoyance at personality quirks that used to be endearing at the start, or resentment because of unresolved small conflicts that were allowed to fester. All things, good and bad, gather "mom…
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/18 01:27 AM
1

Yep. Granted, I tend to trigger a lot of pearl-clutching at the RPW sub whenever I post. It's all good fun for me, but I try not to be too rowdy because that would be rude.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 06:47 PM
1

In my experience, this is backwards. When this breaks down, it is her job to please him which will create a positive feedback loop which will allow him to act in a way which is somewhat servitute oriented (romance is in fact male servitude). Yes. It's also taboo to say things like: "It's a woman's job to reconcile and/or apologize after any conflict/mistakes in a relationship." "Embracing femininity is about embracing the innate flexibility of a woman (of her mind/hamster :p) that gives her an a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 06:27 PM
1

Where I have an issue is that you are much more reasonable than most. lol I'm sorry :p I've been involved in kink for most of my late teens and all my adult life, that I would consider myself brain-damaged if I wasn't at least reasonable about this topic. Organically, power manifests itself and becomes the true arbiter of who is dominant, and who must submit. Without any such overt agreements or rules as to how things proceed. While I can agree, you still need to at least communicate with your p…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 05:33 PM
1

having trouble allowing someone else lead their life down a path that isn’t best for either of them? My understanding of a healthy relationship involves people being good at communication, so if this is an issue that can't be resolved, then (imo) both parties have failed, because it takes two to communicate. Idk choosing to submit as an adult to another adult is vulnerable. All I’m saying. Correct me if I'm wrong, because I'm not a regular in this sub --- I get the impression that people's idea …
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 04:38 PM
4

that community does have "BDSM police." The "SSC police" have no authority on people's private lives, you know. And neither do you, which is why I'm confused why it mattered to you whether or not I (an internet stranger) think you're "dominant" or not.. You're not a submissive I never said I was "a submissive". I specifically used words like "prefers submitting" and "submission" for a reason. Switches are quite flexible :p you're just a normal woman Thanks, it's good to be normal. This is just u…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 03:51 PM
7

Are you saying these guys weren't dominant enough, or are you requiring that your submission is your own desire? I get the impression you aren't submissive and what you want is called deference. "Dominance" is something you either have, or you don't. I have no idea if this is something you could be "born with", or you figure out with experience. As far as I can tell, most guys take time to figure it out. "Respect" is something I (optimistically) offer in advance to any human being, if I don't se…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 03:08 PM
4

Now what do you mean by inspire? In what context? Context matters :p
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 01:53 PM
7

What do you mean by entitled? Entitled guys think dominance is about issuing petulant demands for obedience/deference (something they're owed, just because they have a penis), instead of having (learning) the ability to inspire it from women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 01:38 PM
4

There's a huge difference between expecting everyone to bend over backwards for you versus expecting someone you've been in a relationship with for four years to consider your wants as a factor Expectations without effort to earn them is why so many people have shitty relationships. It'd be easy for me to tell OP to ditch her boyfriend (I mean, I'd ditch him if I was in her position, so I'm not disagreeing with you), but the way she communicates (in general) may also be contributing to: The way …
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/18 11:56 AM
-13

If you're with a man who's not interested in pleasing you, how you choose to phrase things is the least of your issues. Oh? Are you one of those people who don't get along with others if they don't automatically bend over for you, just because you exist?
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/18 10:33 AM
3

Failures and mistakes are just part of being human. What makes a person a good leader is the willingness to admit failures/mistakes and not repeat them, or at least show effort to minimize any repeats. Unrealistic expectations of perfection will make a person a lousy follower too. Fearing failure is like fearing farts --- I imagine life would be a constant state of constipation :p
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 09:35 AM
9

It feels like, “this makes sense.” Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 09:11 AM
21

submission shouldn't be inspired, that it should be default granted to the man? I'm a woman who prefers submitting to a dominant man in the context of a relationship, and every man I've ever met who thinks men are automatically entitled to a woman's submission are either: Entitled man-princesses, aka: "nice guys" Insecure Paranoid (men who are paranoid are men who can't read people well and therefore can't trust their own judgement, and definitely cannot lead) Mindlessly ape-ing what seems to wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/18 09:01 AM
2

The book suggests saying exactly what you want That's interesting. My impression from spending time on RPW: Men: "Don't make demands!" Also men: "Just tell me what you want!" lol What I do when dealing with defensive/grumpy men: tell them what I think and why I think it. Phrase it in such a way that doesn't "tell" them what to think. "I think this is a bad idea because [facts, not feelings]." Don't say "I think your idea wouldn't work.", because saying "your" criticizes them personally. If you w…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/18 07:40 AM
2

I think really masculine men either see straight through it, or just would prefer a straight: "I don't want to watch that." I don't think I personally have a clue what "really masculine men" want to hear, because what works for my husband (someone with mostly alpha traits --- all the green flags and many red flags lol) are things that would make male posters in this sub feel emasculated and outraged (I'm serious, and it always cracks me up when someone yells at me for being obnoxious). For examp…
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/18 06:18 PM
3

I think it's less about negativity and more about you being a cautious person who wants to consider all possible outcomes (such as enjoyment of a movie :p), while he prefers to hope for the best instead of bracing for the worst. Just to use the movie example: if he's decided to watch something, you hope for the best, while silently bracing for the worst. I think bracing for the worst is a good way to avoid being upset over any bad outcomes, and that makes you seem outwardly awesome at handling n…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/18 08:24 PM
7

Disclaimer (for any new members reading this) : what I'm about to ramble on may or may not be "RPW", so if you can't tell the difference between good advice and bad advice, it's safest to assume everything I say is bad advice. What are your strengths as a couple? Communication. We're the only couple we know who never argue, and even our disagreements are brief because we're both robots who are more concerned about facts than feelings lol Sexual compatibility. Do you do anything special? Short ve…
/r/RedPillWomen18/09/18 07:24 PM
3

In the absence of details/context, when men say "respect", they usually mean "deference", while women mean "concern for wellbeing" when they use the same word. I suspect "freedom" is another such word. I think of freedom as an absence of undesirable consequences/limitations, while your definition of freedom is.. something else. Freedom as a basic human right, is ironically limited by the basic rights of other humans around you --- you're not "truly free" when around other people, as long as you …
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 05:21 PM
2

This comment is so well written High praise for someone notoriously careless with words :p Thank you <3 it must be hidden underground Yes, the bleakness is best buried.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 05:18 PM
2

Thank you! <3 Getting any stars always shock me, to be honest.
/r/RedPillWomen17/09/18 05:17 PM
27

In RP subs, we talk a lot about the value of a man's commitment, but men do value a woman's commitment as well. The difference is, a woman's commitment is worthless to a man, if she doesn't make him feel desired, and men feel desired primarily through sex. Sexual pleasure for men isn't about a woman's body, per se. Yes, sex involves her making herself physically available and responsive to him, but it's not about literal copulation. If sex itself is what men truly crave for, incels wouldn't be s…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 09:58 PM
2

Ahh. I should probably go show my support there before an angry mob gathers in number :p
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 09:53 PM
4

For what it's worth, I think it's always good to learn that the duck's name is Fred, so feathers won't be unintentionally ruffled.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 07:12 PM
2

Cc u/durtyknees Hm? You already know I'm of the opinion that husbands are literally entitled to sex in a marriage, among many other things. I'm not sure what you expect me to say/add here :p
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 07:07 PM
3

you don't give freedom to men In the context of a relationship, and especially within a marriage, you do :p Words have meaning. To a certain degree, yes. Sometimes it quacks and walks like a duck, but isn't called a duck because its name is Fred. women don't give power to men Even in the context of a non-kinky male-led relationship.. why not? Marriages are contracts, and contracts are about power. If a man marries a well-connected woman, he can "build power" through her. This is where her intell…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 05:24 PM
3

I heard about the book from Dan Savage who pushed it quite a bit. Ah, I learned something new, thank you. I definitely hear about Dan Savage more than bonobos, among poly folks, so I think you're right on the money. most societies have existed with some form of "marriage" for so long it's difficult to say that obscure tribes are our "true" nature. Theories of human nature aside, the observable fact is that human societies built on marriages are societies that thrive best. The last I checked, bon…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 01:09 PM
2

You don't think bonobos could observe less intelligent animals and make comparisons? I'm confused: are you implying humans are less intelligent, or are you saying bonobos would observe other animals? This piques my interest, because I often hang out with the poly crowd (if you're hardcore into kink, it comes with the territory), and I hear a lot about bonobos, especially the oppression of one's inner bonobo, for not being poly. I sexually identify as a jabberwocky, so I find it difficult to rela…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 04:10 AM
3

we can't even have an open conversation about this. I don't see your comments being removed? All I see are people having an open conversation with you, and asking you to elaborate. I'm not going to give advice saying she should do it. Didn't you advice in a previous post: Alternatively, if you choose not to, it can lead to resentment, bitterness, and losing him. That desire is not going to go away and it can drive people mad. That's quite a dire prediction for the choice of not doing it.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 02:44 AM
2

Go observe some bonobos. I often wonder if bonobos ever tell each other: "Go observe some humans!" to make a point about being sexual rebels. I'm willing to entertain the idea that some humans may be analogous with bonobos, but I'm quite sure most humans aren't bonobos :p that's the way we are programmed. You can suppress it or embrace it. I'm just saying that it can work if you want it to. This is like telling a gay person they could be straight if they really want to, and this is my opinion as…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/18 02:17 AM
7

You do not "give" men freedom. This is a matter of semantics, but I always appreciate learning the proper words from you (as you know), so I'll reword: "I think men in a relationship should have the freedom to be who they are as individuals." Is that better, or am I still failing? lol You simply choose whether to accept that By "giving" that acceptance (to consent, or to condone). Maybe this is just a difference of perspective, so I'm not trying to play with your words just to annoy you :p I'm j…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 06:31 PM
4

Hm I don't see the conflict between what you said and what I meant, which means I used the wrong words, again :p However, I think it's great that you went into detail about it, because this is one of the things that need to be said that (so far) hasn't been said in such detail before.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 06:15 PM
38

Someone explain to me what is so demonizing about our goals? It's because our homes are where all the good men have gone.
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 03:50 PM
2

I think there's a difference between what men say in private with each other, and what he says to people in front of her face (or within earshot).
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 03:39 PM
3

One way to be gently critical of your man's behavior is to keep a ratio (more or less) of 50:1 between praises/compliments/gratitude (50), and tactful polite criticism (1). This takes time and patience if things start out on the wrong foot, however. Nobody is perfect, but it takes both parties to acknowledge they're not perfect and at least try to improve themselves --- this is indicative of "love". You (general "you") make an effort to accommodate each other's needs, and it's not about "sacrifi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 03:12 PM
2

wondering if I'm out of the ordinary By definition, women who practice RPW concepts in their relationships are out of the ordinary, and in a good way. I'm still a feminist (the non-rabid old-skool version) at heart, and will always be a big supporter of women not conforming, in order to find their own happiness. I was curious if maybe this is just a "guy" thing Generally, guys would be able to give a better answer for whether it's a guy thing. However, in the context of your personal relationshi…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 02:07 PM
17

Just curious of the general consensus This is something that I've found is part of "women will be women" (among my female friends, anyway) --- always unsure about what to think/feel about something, until either there's a group agreement, or someone in the group speaks convincingly enough to sway the general consensus to her viewpoint :p Men, as far as I know, don't require any consensus, because they're more inclined to challenge each other's views, or just be accepting of differences. This mea…
/r/RedPillWomen15/09/18 01:23 PM
2

What's your best tactic for keeping quiet I don't :p I also don't believe in anything being "trivial" in a long term/lifetime relationship. I've been in a relationship/marriage with my now-husband long enough to know that every little annoyance will grow just like children if you give it enough time. For every little thing he does that upsets me, I speak up: "This [situation/issue/etc] upsets me and I need your help in figuring out what I could've done differently to avoid repeating this in the …
/r/RedPillWomen13/09/18 04:13 AM
2

how do you keep things platonic when you know the person is trying to fuck you any time you’re alone? Don't be alone with them, because alone-time is a blaring loud invitation for sex/at least an attempt at seduction --- I'm honestly confused that this needs to be said .. :p Close friends I have/had who are straight guys tend to be more than a decade older (usually around two decades my senior). I enjoy discussing ideas and opinions with people who've had significant life-experiences, and my "ma…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/18 05:50 AM
24

Since male "friends" are easy to acquire regardless of character, female friends are more a judge of your quality. If you have none, that means they've all identified something wrong with you as a woman, hence the red flag. This is something I hear people say a lot, and it always cracks me up. Having one good female friend is easy, but the downside is she might get clingy or needy if you're more accomplished than her, or if you're her only female friend too. Having more than one female friend me…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/18 09:17 PM
2

In a marriage, you have to give up a bit of your individuality. Yes and no. I struggle to express this with the right words, so I'll use some examples below: and keep your disinterested side for when you're apart from each other But I'm never disinterested.. :p That^ is part what I meant about "change" --- I'm not the same person who dated all my ex'es. It's not "losing" yourself, when a woman changes (just my opinion, so I'm open to correction), because it's our nature to be flexible --- and th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/18 09:47 PM
4

Thank you for always being awesome! the process of how a writer writes about sexual dynamics should demonstrate an understanding of it just as much as the content does. Yes, it's reflective of each other. An obvious lack of understanding of the audience makes any good content seem either regurgitated from a different source ("insincere"), or perceived as irrelevant because of the disconnect. When people talk about "empathy", or "the human touch", it's not about pussyfooting and worrying about ma…
/r/RedPillWomen17/08/18 08:17 PM
31

Truths/concepts/advice presented without empathy for the audience, will always be dismissed --- not because those truths/concepts/advice are useless/"wrong", but because lecturing without empathy is a form of masturbation. Women here aren't receptive to this post because it's masturbatory. Most women don't want to watch men masturbate --- literally, or otherwise. That said, I don't disagree with what Rollo posts in this sub. It would just get a better reception if he'd develop more empathy, so h…
/r/RedPillWomen13/08/18 05:29 AM
3

This isn't just semantics. Confused, I googled some definitions (because I don't have a physical dictionary lol) : Reconcile is a verb that can mean "to become resigned" like if you're reconciled to getting the bottom bunk when you wanted the top to cause (someone) to accept (something unpleasant) to find a way in which two situations or beliefs that are opposed to each other can agree and exist together: It is sometimes difficult to reconcile science and religion. Sounds a lot like compromise t…
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/18 10:03 AM
2

This is why I used the word reconcile and not compromise haha I think regardless of the choice of words, the key factor to achieve the best results in a marriage (long term results) is for one or both parties to be willing to change themselves to "fit together" better --- or in more appealing words: "work on self-improvement" :p Since men are at a natural disadvantage (compared to women) when it comes to flexibility that allows significant changes to be made (for mindset/personality/outlook/etc)…
/r/RedPillWomen10/08/18 03:51 AM
2

married Marriage and weddings are separate things. One is legal, and the other is social.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 04:38 PM
2

balance the needs of both of you without compromising either It takes two to communicate (two hands to clap, etc). If he doesn't understand what I'm saying, it's my fault for not communicating effectively, and so it's my responsibility to fix that problem. I'm not entitled to have my needs met, if I'm not meeting his needs. Compromise is something I do to tolerate and accommodate people I require cooperation from. I think compromising in a marriage would nurture resentment with enough time. It's…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 04:34 PM
3

I was truly surprised that the insecurity continues to occur for most women after the wedding. You and me both, and neither of us had weddings lol It also seems like being completely secure may mean we're outliers. Probably because of our unwillingness to participate in masochism on a social level --- at least, that applies to why all weddings feel like a tedious waste of time to me :p Alright alright I will leave your favorite birds alone for now :-P haha You know nothing is "mine" here. I also…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 04:10 PM
2

That's a solid guideline! I can confidently say that because that's pretty much what we do :p To add on some points: It's less about him being "allowed to say" "not now honey", but more about my being mindful to not impose my babbles on him at random. We rarely have babble sessions outside of the kitchen, for example. Unless it's time-sensitive and of great importance, I don't speak up unless he wanders into the kitchen --- a place we both associate with nourishment of the mind and body (and emo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 03:48 PM
6

The men seem to be working off of the premise that money is the sole reason that women want marriage. Men tend to only see the practical (non-emotional) side, because it's difficult to relate to the emotional needs of someone with ovaries. Something about that final step of commitment is psychologically important. This is difficult for me to process in any perspective that isn't my own, because the topic of marriage is such a personal thing for a woman (I know many women who literally don't ever…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 03:20 PM
3

It was a child's error more than 25 years ago. Yet it still hurts me and I can't ever fully squash it. This sounds worse than Catholic guilt :P I use to have emotional baggage like this, but I found closure by talking about it with the person the baggage belonged to. Most people do all kinds of dumb things at some point or other, and it doesn't make you any less of a person to share it so you could both laugh about it, and get over it, instead of carrying it around like a mutant pet peeve. marri…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 02:10 PM
1

I wish people would stop downvoting your posts here, because despite your hardcore outlook, you're one of the guys who regularly post here that I not only learned new perspectives from, I also understood some RP concepts better after reading what you had to say about them --- I can't recall if I said this before, so I'll say it now: thank you very much. Understanding a different male perspective is very valuable, for any woman. If no one else has thanked you before, that's a shame. None of the l…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 01:31 PM
1

tradcons (who believe that both men and women should be submissive to a fixed set of rules) Thank you so much for this. I finally have the words to precisely describe why I personally find the concept of tradcon so utterly repulsive, as a relationship structure.
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 07:44 AM
3

He was getting everything he needed for free. If that was true, he would have stayed. He didn't stay, what does that tell you? He didn't stay, because it stopped being free, of course :p
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 07:39 AM
1

My advice is to simply lie to them. That's what I do. . I find it very difficult to actually establish a genuine connection with men because of the insulting ways they evaluate women. ^ These two statements aren't as separate as you think they are :p They want to feel superior and to have power over us, like we're just things that they own, like their cars. Many (most?) men behave this way, even if they don't outright say it, not because they automatically look down on all women, but because the…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 07:12 AM
3

many a husband tried hard to figure out what the wife was saying.... My husband's solution to this, is to encourage me to "overshare" (his words, not mine lol) with him. I find this lack of restriction help me organize my rambles in a more productive way, where he gives me "space" (attentive listening without comment) to figure out what I actually want to say (while talking about it lol), and finally wrap things up to provide him a summary of why I brought up the topic (how/when it first sproute…
/r/RedPillWomen09/08/18 06:47 AM
2

Incidentally, my wife and her best friend both despise gossip and are extremely tight with people's personal information. This is such a rare treasure in this age of "publicly post every personal event on social media". women speak from here to there to yet another place and it's exhausting to men. True lol I'm not even innocent of this, because I tend to use the wrong words for things I instinctively "know" or "do", but struggle to describe. It doesn't help that the definitions for many things …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 09:46 PM
2

If a wife turns on her husband as a result of such advice, it isn't necessarily something he could have vetted for before getting married. Her choice of friends (something within her control --- we can't choose family but everyone can choose friends) is one of the things he should've vetted for, in this case. He should also have paid attention to how easily she's influenced by what people say (this is easy to observe and test). The way a woman talks about other people, or her favorite topics to …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 07:20 PM
2

there's no way for a man to know whether a woman is this way for real or just acting that way until he signs away half his assets Actually, there is. Pay attention to the small things (things most people shrug off or forgive without a thought, because they're "small things"). What people do for the small things in their lives/in their interactions with you, they do for the "bigger picture" things. Small things shouldn't be confused with trivial things, either. My definition of "small things" are…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 06:36 PM
1

It only "came out" when he got very comfortable and "settled in" with me after the first few months. I loved him for his outrageous sense of humor, and men with an outrageous sense of humor (which are my "type") tend to either be high-functioning sociopaths or "children at heart" (or both.. lol). I'm very fond of the sociopath variety, so that was eventually my choice for marriage. Many years later, still no regrets! Anyway, I'm just amused that 6 months is considered a good guideline between da…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 06:03 PM
1

NEVER under any circumstance live with a woman you aren’t married to or are not planning to marry within 6 months. This is hilariously true for me (and I'm not a man), because 6 months was definitely long enough for me to decide I don't like living with one ex who was perfectly delightful as a person, except for his irritating habits when at home, like waking me up from a deep sleep just to ask if I've seen some item he's lost, or expecting me to pick up after him and clean up his messes --- bas…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 03:56 PM
2

there's a 5:1 ratio necessary for a healthy marriage. 5 positives to counterbalance 1 negative This is interesting; thanks for sharing! Good food for thought. there's still the issue of hypergamy which is the female imperative to want to jump to the next guy should the next guy be better and available etc. Depends on how good a "fit" a guy is, with her (like puzzle pieces fitting together). As long as a woman isn't lacking in intelligence, introspection, and insight, the longer a woman has had a…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 02:16 AM
2

But when one spouse stops fulfilling their end of the deal, after enough time, no amount of love in the world will help at all because at its core it's transactional. Yes, "after enough time" being the keywords. Love is a powerful temporary compensation to keep things trucking along --- "come what may", but love is a diminishing "resource". My husband is fully aware that I'd pull the plug on him if he ever found himself relying on a plug. Love would make me exhaust all options while I hoped and …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 01:44 AM
3

It's transactional at its core. It tends to start as transactional, but when this feeling of "love" has enough time to develop deep roots, it becomes less about the interests of the individual, and more about being an extension of each other's will. Cooking, sex and admiration are the three main staples of female manipulation of men for millenia. Yeah, as long as it's not blatantly called "manipulation", these are prized feminine virtues! That's because morality is also part of human nature. Whi…
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/18 12:03 AM
7

Yes and no :p "Manipulation" is a word that's usually used in a negative context, yet the difference between "manipulation" and "persuasion" is simply a point of view. I'm a submissive wife because I want ("want" = self-serving) a dominant husband, and this is just one of many other masochistic things I do in my marriage for the most egomaniacal reasons. Does it matter if there's any "manipulation" involved, if everyone gets what they want? Virtues are overrated, and especially irrelevant from a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/18 05:33 PM
1

Yes and no :p "Manipulation" is a word that's usually used in a negative context, yet the difference between "manipulation" and "persuasion" is simply a point of view. I'm a submissive wife because I want ("want" = self-serving) a dominant husband, and this is just one of many other masochistic things I do in my marriage for the most egomaniacal reasons. Does it matter if there's any "manipulation" involved, if everyone gets what they want? Virtues are overrated, and especially irrelevant from a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/18 05:31 PM
2

haha Thanks! I'm often guilty of too many food/cooking/kitchen-related metaphors in person, that I try to keep it to a minimum online. Many things in life (from my perspective) can be analogous with food/cooking contexts.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/18 03:18 PM
5

Why the coy subterfuge? Because "words have meaning" :P I know I'm guilty of being careless with words, but consider this: What if, a woman's submission, when done with calculation, is just another word for manipulation?
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/18 03:15 PM
3

Do as you're told without argument. If you feel he's wrong, do it anyway, this is obedience and shows respect. My husband expects me to help him "see" things that are in his "blindspots" (everyone has blindspots, metaphorically and literally). He expects me to speak up, if I even suspect that he's not seeing the whole picture. "Do as you're told" being interpreted as "obedience" and "respect", is only valid in the context of children submitting to the wisdom of their elders. Your perspective do …
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/18 02:51 PM
24

Ask yourself: Is it better for a man to lose interest because you won't give him sex on the first date, or to be pump and dumped after the first date? This question is only relevant when sex is the only thing of any worth that a woman has to offer on that "date". Most women have more to offer than just sex, but women with low self esteem will think sex is the most valuable thing they can offer, and many women have low self esteem. When I make a man wait for sex, I keep him interested (or at leas…
/r/RedPillWomen06/08/18 02:02 PM
11

This is my 2nd long term relationship and I am already seeing some friends my age move onto their second marriage! The impression I'm getting from this statement is that you're feeling peer pressure to marry, to "keep up" with people who don't seem to know how to have good marriages.. ..:p You might want to make new friends with good relationships, because you'll have a better chance of attracting men who are worth having a relationship with, if you're someone who knows what it takes to have suc…
/r/RedPillWomen04/08/18 09:16 PM
1

Regardless of the value (utility?) of social status and children, men tend to be better companions than cats, and most men also live longer. However, if your selection process is a random grab, a random cat is more likely to be a better companion than a random man.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/08/18 04:46 AM
1

showing too much negative emotion to others just makes men feel worse and more inadequate. In broad terms (I'm only speaking from my own experience/observations, so correct me if I'm wrong) : Men feel good when they have external confirmation for their self-validation. Their ego (which extends to their feelings) is "solidified" first, and external input help them decide if the value they place on it is correct. So when a man feels bad (a solidified internal feeling), then tells others he feels b…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/18 09:48 PM
4

high school boyfriend? Just after highschool (the last 3, of the 7 seasons --- I remember mainly because we both love the show lol). He wasn't my first, but we were all serious with future plans and everything. I got along very well with his mom, and the rest of his family were wonderful people who always invited me to family gatherings, and made me feel very welcome. He's also pretty much a paragon of virtue: smart, caring, dedicated, ambitious, etc, and very aware to compensate for his lack of…
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/18 03:43 AM
2

Thank you for the reply. Thank you for initiating an interesting discussion! downplaying and not acknowledging a woman's emotion seems very bad for making the average female significant other happy Please note that what I'm about to ramble below is not "red pill", and not intended as anything more than my personal (probably non-useful :p) opinion only: In my experience, the more "traditional-minded" a man is, the more he's likely to dismiss emotions as "pffft, female behavior" (something that's …
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/18 09:14 PM
3

a grounded TI-86 calculator Even machines need their "owner/user" to understand error messages to troubleshoot, or at least understand the manual :p I actually didn't appreciate how important empathy was (not to be confused with sympathy etc, but empathy that allows you to read someone else's feelings like a book --- a skill that most people have, even on a weak level, that it's easy to take for granted), until I dated someone with aspergers. He was fully aware of his own feelings, but completel…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/18 07:46 PM
3

Yep. Not overthinking/worrying also allows you to allocate more brainpower to other things like recipe improvements, staying hot, etc, because you need to pull off more than "respect" to keep the relationship-amusement-park well-oiled for decades. You called? :-P Only because you're awesome <3
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 08:41 PM
3

something has to change in the relationship where either person needs to move towards a greater commitment to connection I think during the dating stage, if things don't work, it's best for your own sanity (and hair coloration) to end things and move on to someone else who's more compatible. It's not your responsibility to sacrifice anything to fix a broken relationship that isn't a marriage/ LTR (imo, it's not an LTR if there are tv shows that lasted longer than the relationship). My impression…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 08:17 PM
8

Here's a good recent post about ways to show respect by u/girlwithabike Personally, I don't think of "respect" as what I should/shouldn't do, because too much thinking hurts. I adore a healthy ego in my man (it's sexy to me) and I'm mindful to take good care of that ego, the way I always take good care of the cough "physical representation" cough of his ego. Everything I do flows from that mindset, and it seems to work :p
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 07:33 PM
5

They need to understand that women's brains are constantly bombarded with thoughts and feelings to a greater degree than men, that women need their feelings validified first before any problems involving them can be solved, and that even when there are mixed messages which are emotional torture for a man, in order to solve the problem, he has to comfort and pursue her. So if there is any argument for why captain is a good choice of words, its that men are in a leadership role in the case of keep…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 11:51 AM
2

Oh! Thank you <3 I'm always shocked to get any star to be honest. Even though I think in English, I often struggle to express what I know works well from experience (including things I learned the hard way), in a way that's useful to others who are unfamiliar with the concepts. I always admire how you use words. Apologies in advance if the following is leaning off-topic or soapboxy, but I think it needs to be said, because malleability is a feminine quality men truly appreciate, and it's too oft…
/r/RedPillWomen31/07/18 05:30 AM
3

As u/Whisper said above, what's important (in my experience with every man I've ever been with, including my husband now), is the willingness to try new things. In my case, I simply adopted whatever hobbies my man enjoy most. My personal hobbies are all beyond boring/basic. In fact, my favorite pastime is to shop for food (to browse and search for new options of deliciousness). I find that men are always delighted when you show interest in their interests, and are happy to teach you new things. …
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/18 09:15 PM
3

Sperm quality I still can't find that study I mentioned in my earlier post in this thread, but I found something relevant --- and imo, more interesting! https://www.newscientist.com/article/2148071-old-fathers-pass-on-more-mutations-to-kids-than-old-mothers/ 20 September 2017 Old fathers pass on more mutations to kids than old mothers Older fathers pass on more genetic mutations to their children than older mothers do, according to study that investigated the genomes of thousands of Icelandic pa…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/18 04:52 AM
39

men online complain that a lot women's dating profiles say "basic" hobbies Men online seem to complain about many things I've never heard men in real life complain about. I've never met a woman who received such complaints from men, either.
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/18 09:58 PM
6

So I question when you are best suited to make a good decision about a man. It's not about "when", it's about "how" (imo). I think it's important to match life-goals with any potential partner, before doing any dating. A matching desire for/against having children is arguably more important than matching libidos --- and we all know how mismatched libidos kill marriages/relationships. My advice would be to decide as early as possible if you ever want to be a mother (I decided this early in my tee…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/18 10:21 PM
10

There should definitely be a time limit on an LTR though. If there are no signs of forward movement after a certain period, you cut and run. This is so important, especially if you want children. The (fertility) wall I think women (in general, especially outside this sub) wouldn't bristle so much at the concept of the "wall" if it was called a Fertility-wall :p It's basically the same thing (imo) : wall/fertility, because it's tied to looks, and level of health that's related to age --- women wh…
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/18 06:47 PM
5

Just because most individuals don't have their shit together, doesn't mean it's the wrong answer. It's not wrong to talk about exceptions to the rule, but it doesn't make it good advice. In general, any advice is only considered good if it could be applied to the majority of individuals.
/r/RedPillWomen28/07/18 06:01 PM
1

Tradcon isn't beneficial to the person practicing it. It's for making that person beneficial to certain others, This is the best definition of tradcon I've ever come across. It's "communally" beneficial when everyone's doing it, but even then, the concept has no tolerance for variety/deviations, because to deviate means you've stopped contributing to "the greater good" of mutual domesticated stagnation. One thing all tradcons have in common is that mindless fear of change/ unwillingness to adapt…
/r/TheRedPill28/07/18 06:37 AM
8

Well said! To add: a leader isn't a babysitter/hand-holder/micromanager, and being a follower isn't about abject obedience/being passive. We often say the difference between male/female nature is active/passive, but "passive" in this context is about flexibility, not literal passiveness. Most people misunderstand what makes a dominance/submission dynamic functional/practical in hetero relationships because definitions are often muddy whenever the topic comes up. Thanks for putting everything int…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/18 05:17 AM
7

What makes you think you can change him? Fair question. But what makes you think you haven't changed him? Women are (by nature, for the survival of our species) best equipped to change a man --- whether done deliberately, or unintentionally. Perhaps "patriarchy" was the most functional structure for certain societies during a certain period of time (ie: to survive certain circumstances), because women recognize that building up a man brings out the best in a man. Women number approximately 50% o…
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/18 01:45 AM
3

with the starting premise that everyone here is stupid haha Not to the point of "stupid" :p, but more about "not set in their ways yet" (anything from "undecided" or "unsure", to "not developed resistance to making significant changes yet"). Being flexible from a lack of fixed preferences is also not "weak". It's easy for more experienced women to say "know what you want" and "decide for yourself", but when you're experience-challenged, and all you have is untested theory (like having a map to a…
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/18 04:08 AM
7

start with the premise that women reading are fully developed humans Maybe this is just me (because of my crappy family background), but it took me a long time to figure things out on my own --- and I wouldn't consider myself "fully developed" before I reached my mid 20s (or even late 20s, until just before I married). However, I also happily adapted to every single guy I dated in my long string of serial relationships, and was arguably a very different person after every relationship ended lol …
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 09:50 PM
8

Men freak out about things like repeat questions, because they are seen as time wasting and it's like "denormalized data"--we find it unsettling. Women on the other hand, love connecting with each other, even if it's for silly or contrived reasons. So.. men value their time, but women shouldn't? Men and women all have limited lifespans, and time for young single women looking for advice (especially because of our "wall" problem) is arguably more precious, too. Are you seriously encouraging women…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 08:59 PM
6

You pick a man you respect so that as you adapt to his life, you become a woman you respect. The man-picker would be quite shitty, as long as the self-respect module isn't properly installed yet. "Self-respect" is an important topic for women that's not mentioned often enough in this sub, imo. Since men interpret the concept of "respect" differently from women, there's often some confusion when it's mentioned too.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 12:23 PM
21

Women who demonstrate feminine traits without adaptability (ie: holding back, refusing to change) Women often bend over backwards to gain the approval of their friends (we especially get assimilated by our "best friend" :p) and family, and most mothers are willing to bend over backwards to accommodate their children's needs (which is understandable and not wrong, as long as they're not over-indulgent). But tell women they should make an effort to please their man, and the response is always: "We…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 04:43 AM
2

Sorry for my late reply! My time on reddit these days are rather erratic because of the way I choose to live my life :p Most of human communication is non verbal. Anything left unsaid is a recipe for disappointment because social norms (the default fallback sans verbal communication) may not be ideal for everyone, especially the social norms now. This is also a factor for people dating outside their culture/race (much more common now). I enjoy discussions with you as well, but if/when I don't ha…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 04:33 AM
12

they get sucked in slowly and before they realize You're not wrong. The first guy I dated (whom I almost married) was very similar to my abusive father, but I didn't recognize that fact until I brought that ex back for a visit to my hometown (I'm estranged from blood family, but I still love my hometown). Needless to say, I was so disturbed by the realization after that visit lol My ex wasn't a bad person at all, but the signs and potential were all there (rage problems especially, among many ot…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 03:48 AM
10

I think the most difficult part of this idea is that of independence. Greater flexibility (a woman's true strength, imo --- both mentally and physically) also includes the power of persuasion ("seduction" in other words, but it's more about charm, and less about sex). I mean, if I said my marriage was male-led, it would be an outright lie :p From the point of view of any observer, my husband seemingly enjoys all the perks of being Master of the Universe in our marriage, but I actually do a lot o…
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 02:53 AM
5

she doesn't loose herself in the process of loving and following her man. As much as I don't assume men are stupid, I'd like to think the majority of women aren't idiots, either.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/18 02:28 AM
2

I value your perspective, so I'm interested in your opinion about the following thoughts: In my (probably very controversial) opinion, the concept of a spouse being literally entitled to sex (within their marriage), is key to why marriages thrive better in older cultures. If it was considered "wrong" to deny sex to a spouse, men wouldn't think of marriage as some type of "trap", because men want to "lock down" a desirable woman as his wife using marriage (where the woman is considered the prize …
/r/RedPillWomen16/07/18 07:43 AM
1

No worries! I'd be insane if I expected you to automatically know. And honestly, any smell that screams "I'M SO CLEAN!" will make me instantly like someone, platonically or otherwise :p
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 01:48 PM
1

haha I do like girls too, but I tend to prefer men for relationships (I should clarify that I'm born with ovaries lol). The stuff they use at grooming parlors aren't quite as hardcore as the stuff on the shelf they sell to the average consumer, as far as I know. Perhaps it depends on the parlor. But yeah I tend to be attracted to people who have/like dogs, but I tend to attract men who prefer cats (my last ex outright hated dogs).
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 01:36 PM
2

there's a need that men have that's greater than the very powerful need for sex and love - the need to be respected and admired by our women Men don't achieve "sexual satisfaction" without feeling respected and admired, so in my mind, sex/respect/admiration are all interchangeable within a sexual relationship. IMO, separating sex from respect and admiration only helps women justify not always making an extra effort to accommodate their man's sexual needs (needs that range from regular orgasms to…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/18 01:19 PM
1

Perhaps it's just me being a weirdo with strong associations with smell lol I mean, I really like the smell of dog shampoo (the medicated types that are anti-itch, anti-flea, etc, that makes your dog smell like a fluffy aggressively-sanitized room on legs), because I associate happiness with a wet (clean) dog. That smell lingers on anyone who gave their dog a bath recently, and I love it :p Sadly, I've yet to see someone bottle the smell of medicated dog shampoo.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 12:45 PM
0

While that's a good tag line, smelling like a grandpa (because different generations associate different things with "old/young") might not get the same results.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/18 04:20 AM
2

But if we get passed communication of our needs to our partners and think about the actual needs themselves - men's needs tend to be simpler than women's needs. Thus, men are generally easier to pleas than women. I can agree with that. Most of the issues arise from communication problems (because men and women interpret many things differently and refuse to/can't empathize), and men are less inclined to talk, while women talk too much lol I think the "simpler" aspect is most applicable in the co…
/r/RedPillWomen15/07/18 03:44 AM
2

we have simpler needs I wouldn't say "simpler", because men who are unable to clearly communicate what they need (or worse: can't make up their minds, nor say what they mean lol) are very difficult to please. Such men aren't the exception either, because lousy communication skills is a common problem, regardless of gender. I think the most successful long term relationships I ever came across are between people who are strongly invested in establishing clear communication, especially timely comm…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/18 06:25 AM
2

Thus my question of "is it really so easy, or am I tricking myself?". Whether it's easy or hard, depends on you. If you don't hate yourself, you could definitely make many things very easy! Whenever people dwell over something, the ultimate goal is to finally find closure and move on. If you can reach the goal (of moving on) without going through the chore of brooding/grieving, all the better --- I personally think that's one of the advantages of a rough childhood, actually. People who rarely fa…
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/18 02:36 PM
2

It's not the best because your expectations of your cat are extremely different from your expectations of your spouse. haha Very true. It's still not an excuse to treat your cat better than your spouse --- I've observed people doing this, it just boggles my mind. Maybe it's just me, but pleasing my husband takes less effort for better rewards :p
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/18 01:19 PM
3

My childhood was traumatic too, so I can relate to most of what you're saying. I mean even childhood memories can be painful if I think about them too much, which is why I usually don't talk about all this anymore. People get curious and the more they ask the deeper it gets, the more painful it becomes. I don't need to remember it. For me most things are just over, irrelevant. They have shaped my perspective on life, but they are not me. They only become me if I think about them for too long. A …
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/18 12:56 PM
2

subconsciously everyone keeps score to some degree That's true in general, but what I was trying to say (the correct choice of words often elude me, sorry!) is that "equal" would look very different to different people, since everyone place different values on the same things. Also when I say "fair": there's "fair" and there's "optimized". It's similar to the difference between "existing" and "thriving". when one person is investing way way more than the other into the relationship, they'll feel…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/18 01:06 PM
2

nitpick here Nitpicks are always welcome! Nobody improves in an echo chamber. because healthy people don't look for something better once they found what they need Definitely. The problem is most people aren't on that level of "healthy", otherwise happy marriages would be the majority portion of the 80/20 rule, and hypergamy wouldn't be an AWALT thing. today's very unhealthy consumer culture I think it has always been a part of human nature. Older cultures were more successful with suppressing t…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/18 03:50 AM
2

you begin to mold yourself into each other's ideal mates. It also becomes more "ideal" (perfect, for all intents and purposes ;p) the longer you work on building that relationship together. "Perfect" doesn't stay constant only because time keep changing circumstances, so you endlessly need to adapt and adjust. What I'm trying to say is "perfect" isn't the "enemy", and aiming for "perfect" (no matter how unrealistic) is actually what would help long term happiness. And this is because happiness r…
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/18 11:44 PM
8

Certainly there will always be someone better This is only true if relationships are viewed with a consumer mindset, but then again, most people view it that way (sexual/relationship "market values" and all that). As a consumer, you "settle" for a "product" because of its availability, quality, and your budget. A "product" may be the "best option" at a certain timeframe, until better options are "released" in the "market" later on. As a consumer, I'm always in search of the next best thing, beca…
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/18 10:00 PM
2

made some orgasm solely through hypnosis. Hilariously, this only proves that a man who'd miss the mark by a wide margin would need to ask about n-counts :p However, fret not, because this is my exit.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/18 06:41 PM
3

Men say it's about pride when they say they dont want to marry a slut who "gave it up easily to other men", but its not about pride because competitive pride means showing off --- you show off a beautiful wife, but if she's not a virgin, there's literally nothing to brag about, regardless of how low her n-count is. Men worry about committing to women who "gave it up easily" because they worry about maintaining sexual attraction. The type of men I attract only ask practical (important) questions,…
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/18 03:36 PM
8

For me it's not the N count that matters, it's whether a woman has ridden her life very hard and rough so far, such that she carries a lot of wounds and bad feelings. It's nice when a woman still has a sense of innocence and joyfulness about her, but if a man can't figure that out on his own, without asking questions, then does he deserve it I wonder? Well said. It's difficult to respect men who blatantly wring their hands like entitled pea-brained princesses.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/18 02:14 AM
1

it bugs me when men say "what do we contribute to their lives?" My reply has always been "if you can't figure out if I'm valuable to you, please move along" :p I understand why that question is asked in this sub, because it's about self-improvement, but any guy who asks that question when you're dating them is a lost cause --- I mean, who wants a man who is a poor judge of character? :p I'm looking to relax and have fun and enjoy life with someone. Many men want this too. Just keep in mind that …
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 02:34 PM
2

I'm a more brainy/intellectual/cultural type. This makes you valuable, but you need to learn how to use it in a way that makes you attractive to the type of man you want. I'm not trying to write put my CV to prove anything (because "career doesn't matter") but I'm simply stating I feel I can contribute to the relationship. What most men want, when they look for a relationship, is joy. "Joy" can mean different things for different guys (because we're all individuals, despite whatever generalizing…
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/18 01:12 PM
10

how I can redirect the course of our conversation Your job is to vet him. This means watching where he directs the conversation, and stop following if he's leading you where you don't want to go. There's no point in directing any dating-related conversations, unless you want to fool yourself that the wrong man is right for you.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/18 11:37 AM
32

By "pull away" I mean when a man you are already in a committed relationship and/or marriage with stops initiating romance/sex/contact or noticeably lessens romance/sex/contact. why does this happen? It happens when enough "small things" add up enough to cause the change. Women tend to focus on how they feel in the present ("feel" being the key word :p), while men remember the past to process the present (to give them a "bigger picture" view of the present). So all the "small things" (things tha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/18 06:16 AM
4

If you think of aspects of someone's personality as a list of things that are either "desirable" or "something to compromise on", then you're setting yourself up to always feel somewhat dissatisfied with anybody. Yes, you should figure out what you value in a partner, but it's also healthier to view people as individuals (not "products" with a list of features where you pick and compare with other "products"). Whatever skills/traits one person may be lacking, it's still the combination that make…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/18 05:12 AM
2

No prob <3 I'm glad to help. I can relate to many of your difficulties because I grew up in a really bad place, and I had to find solutions to everything on my own. I sought advice from people who were not family, and also read a lot of books.
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/18 02:55 PM
2

How strong can one take spontaneous gestures and sentences as evidence for intentions? Generally: more consistent = more sincere. However, it's not the best way to accurately figure out if someone is being genuine. If someone doesn't say what they mean, nor do what they say, you're also likely to notice that they're often busy lying to themselves as well --- not because they're a "bad" person, it's just that many people don't handle their personal issues very well. (I'm going to ramble now, beca…
/r/RedPillWomen24/04/18 02:20 PM
2

this need then makes one vulnerable to manipulation? The need to clarify expectations isn't what makes you vulnerable. Vulnerability is when you make it obvious that you are trusting of people's intentions --- negotiating too early, or too overtly, and putting too much value on what someone says. Most people think of themselves as "good", or that they're "nice". Most people aren't manipulative. However, all the good intentions a person may have, are nothing more than intentions. People often say…
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/18 01:27 PM
3

This applies to both men and women trying to negotiate for things that can't be negotiated (such as submission or commitment). It makes the negotiating person easy to manipulate because they are essentially telling their partner "this is what I want, and this is what I want to hear you agree with me on". An honest person will be honest with their answers, but a manipulative person will just lie and tell you what you want to hear. Personal relationships generally don't work out well if you lay ou…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/18 06:44 PM
1

The post gives advice that is detrimental to the female sexual strategy The post is talking about how you can't negotiate commitment. I personally used that strategy, actually. I didn't bring up exclusivity until my now-husband brought it up first, without my prompting him. Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, so if he didn't feel inspired to commit enough to mention commitment, there's no point for me to talk about it. However, that doesn't mean women can't mention their desire for commitment…
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/18 06:20 PM
5

Not everyone is cut out for a red pill lifestyle. That lifestyle can take many variations but certain foundational truths still hold Ok, what are all the "foundational truths" according to you? If that's too much to ask, I have only one question I need your answer to: Does a man need to be a red pill man to lead a red pill relationship? The definition of a red pill woman is about behavior, not a type of person. Then provide your definition in detail, otherwise you're just blowing a lot of steam …
/r/RedPillWomen22/04/18 01:34 AM
3

Women are hive minded. Please tell me more.
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/18 03:02 PM
11

Anyone who wants to downvote u/KittenLoves_ should get off their high horse and first read what the creator of this sub has to say: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/4db4ei/the_direction_of_rpw/ RPW isn't only about "traditional" strategy, it's about truth, and part of accepting harsh truths is accepting this is the year 2018, and society has moved on since the 1950s. Being in denial about the effectiveness of different ("non-traditional") strategies is being in denial about new tru…
/r/RedPillWomen21/04/18 06:15 AM
1

Wow, I agree with u/Durtyknees! :P You're breaking my heart. I thought we had something special!
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/18 08:52 PM
3

I am probably somewhere on the spectrum Then work on improving your general social skills first. If you're not good at reading people (and not good at communicating your needs), then you're not able to use any strategy, because all strategies rely on "people skills" to work. Without good social skills, you will always approach relationships with fear, because it's only logical to fear what you can't understand. Nobody can blame you for being fearful, but fear is the mind killer, so that means yo…
/r/RedPillWomen20/04/18 07:20 PM
12

Be the female counterpart of the type of "quality man" you want to attract. You want someone compatible with you, not just pick someone off a shelf labeled "Quality Men" :p
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/18 04:51 PM
3

he was given the impression it may be given to him I'm entirely at fault for that. I never expected my feelings to change so dramatically. So I'm wondering what to do now, I feel like I accidentally set a trap or something. The best actionable advice is what u/girlwithabike posted. You need to clarify things with him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 09:57 PM
2

The way I read it, she could've given him the impression it was something freely given in the past, regardless if she actually did it. That would explain why he said it was cruel. Empathy for the guy's PoV, and all that :p
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 08:51 PM
1

I was sexually promiscous before my current boyfriend and I am openly bisexual. This has obviously led to playful banter in the past about threesomes. I played along thinking it's all hypothical (back before I swallowed my red pill) and now 5 years later my boyfriend and I talked about the threesome thing again. ^ Seems implied?
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 08:43 PM
8

I'd have happily agree with exes in the past, but I'm a different person now. ^ This is the reason why he thinks it's cruel. He will always feel deprived of what she gave away to others, but is now withholding from him.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/18 08:33 PM
2

Of course you're always your own self! Nah, I got assimilated, but this isn't about me :p when you actively trust you're setting your self on the side This implies a lack of "harmony" that necessitates setting aside of "self" to trust. So what you're saying is without harmony, you need deference ("basic respect"). This implies believing that the person taking the lead is someone to look up to. But it still goes back to "trust", doesn't it? Why would someone respect a person they don't trust (in …
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/18 11:06 AM
2

I know :p Just thought it needs to be said, because "controlling" is often conflated with "frame", and then there's the "more submissive than thou" types. Kittens would cry.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 09:37 PM
3

I'm not sure flogging facilitates weight loss, but I'll happily try it for science.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 08:41 PM
4

submitting to their controlling masters! If a "master" has to work on having "control", he's doing it wrong --- as ridiculous as mindless submission, imo.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 08:37 PM
2

Suddenly you begin to sense your own self! This is such an alien concept to me lol My world doesn't revolve around him, but I resonate with him (if that makes sense). We've become very much alike, after all this time together, that we're somewhat an extension of each other. I've always thought this was normal/ typical for long term couples who are a good fit for each other, because that's what I've observed, but that's just my anecdote. If you don't also have the basic respect, you'll begin to f…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 08:28 PM
2

the linguistic part of this gets fuzzy for me I'm thinking strictly within the context of a romantic relationship, to keep the semantics more focused :p need to be rolled out appropriately in a relationship If I were 18 again, I'd still rev up the steamroller, and pick through the aftermath for survivors, if any. Not saying that's good advice at all:p, but it's very effective when you're too young to know what's right/wrong for you, and RPW did not exist yet. However, I find generic vetting advi…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 08:06 PM
3

It's a type of respect that runs so deep, I'm willing to set myself and my existence aside (at least momentarily) in favor of your will, desire, leadership, decision or whatever. So.. with complete trust, you're good to go for everything else, including respect. (?)
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 05:04 PM
6

faaaaar easier than reading :-) For me, the content is what's difficult, because everything about it is a reminder of all the things that adult women in my family didn't do for their men, while I was a child growing up under the same roof. I didn't have a good time under that roof so I prefer not to be reminded as much as possible. I wonder how much of a harpy I would've been, if I actually got along well with family, and wasn't a "sinful" reject determined to do everything differently in my adu…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 04:44 PM
7

Hey you! I love you. Thanks so much for posting this! (and for reading books so I don't have to :p) The little demonstrations of respect are signs of our overall trust in him. I wonder very much if "trust" and "respect" are interpreted as one and the same, when you get to the core of it. It was only through my participation in this sub that I realize a lot of things I do privately with my husband is interpreted as "lacking respect", which always cracks him up when I relayed the sentiment to him.…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 02:19 PM
7

A situation where there is a ton of pressure! Why jump to “reconsider”? High pressure situations are when who someone really is, becomes most obvious. one situation in a six year relationship First two years were long distance, and I don't get the impression they're living together. your comments can do more harm than good OP is an intelligent grown woman who can correct me herself if she thinks I'm "doing more harm than good", since she knows her own situation best.
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 06:03 AM
13

Correct me if I'm wrong: He decided the ring shouldn't have anything resembling diamonds. You searched for MT sapphire rings because he has MT roots, and he "loved the concept". Then after he said he loved the concept of such rings, he went silent for more than a month. After that, you took the initiative to show him some ring options, and he didn't say much. You finally showed him a ring you thought would be the best choice, and he said it looked good and ordered it. When you received the rings…
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/18 02:31 AM
3

This really depends on the individual guy, imo. a Captain can really shine when he's called on to encourage or help his FM (or others) when they need him. Generally, men want to feel needed, respected, and appreciated for their ability to protect, provide, and fix stuff. However, when it comes to emotional support, I think that's the job of your best (girl) friend. Of course there are exceptions. hiding how you're really feeling can put distance between you or feel false. Some (most?) men don't …
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/18 06:28 AM
1

Sex is not just about "sex" -- it is also about interacting intimately with another human & learning to value someone else's "ways" of receiving love. Well said!
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/18 03:34 AM
2

Libido problems could surface later because of health issues or age-related reasons, however it's still practical to ensure overall sexual compatibility before marriage. I don't disagree with n-count protesters about not having sex before commitment. That's also a strategy (that perhaps worked better in the previous century's dating culture). It's just my opinion that sex is a useful vetting tool, if utilized as a tool. Either way, commitment isn't something that could be realistically negotiate…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/18 03:08 AM
5

It was the subjugation of art to propaganda, I completely agree this describes the majority of Disney movies, not just the animated ones (in fact, the live-action movies are even more guilty of propaganda lol). However, imo, Frozen's story was one of the best modern metaphor-based fairytales ever written, and the popular appeal of it (compared to many other Disney movies), is itself a social commentary of the 2010-ies. Frozen was such a big hit because the story represent mental and emotional is…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/18 02:20 AM
3

Actual dominance does not involve making demands, and similarly, submission does not involve being so vulnerable that you could be taken advantage of. For high value men, sex has little to no value, because he can get quality sex easily. You can't negotiate for commitment with sex nor submission, because vetting tools aren't "negotiation currency" :p Use submission to vet for leadership capacity. Use sex to vet against libido mismatch. Because marriage is a completely bad idea if you have a libi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/18 02:51 PM
1

lol Please never change <3
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/18 02:47 PM
9

Please don't take this personally, as I just think this needs to be said, and said in general: In the best stories ever told (Disney or otherwise), fictional characters represent concepts that drive the story, or are used as avatars for tropes. Characters are merely tools, not people. Old fairytales are often metaphors, ancient mythologies were often social commentary, and fables were intended to teach morals. Fictional characters were never meant to be used as role models, nor even considered a…
/r/RedPillWomen13/04/18 01:52 AM
17

not sassy or saracastic The new princesses are quite sassy and often sarcastic :p The older princesses are based on the "Proper Lady" trope. You can find more examples (real life and fictional characters) on that page.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 08:02 PM
2

This post by u/Whisper would help clarify some things: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/80ryqx/submissive_behaviour_as_strategy/
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 07:03 PM
2

A huge garden sounds awesome! I'm so happy for you <3 Home-cooked meals are also better for health (for a better quality of life, in general) in the long term. Even if it was a chore, it's a love-chore :p
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 06:45 PM
2

adorably unable to see anything past the first row of the top shelf If you have enough room around the fridge area, something similar to a footstool on wheels near the fridge could help with that: sit down, open the fridge, roll closer to retrieve/place items. However, that footstool would be a tripping danger if there's no room to put it aside when not in use, or if it was always hiding in the shadows. It depends on the layout and lighting of your kitchen.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 06:18 PM
1

I relate so much to everything you said about grocery/market shopping! Cooking became less of a "chore" for me when I started cooking for someone who does the dishes as his way of thanking me (just the ones used during meals, since I personally clean as I go, for things I use while cooking).
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 06:06 PM
0

You're equating SAHM with slavery? The book describes it that way, don't you think? up to their necks in domestic work, tied down to the sixteen hour a day routine of caring for children "Luxuriating potato" is my interpretation from the book too: lasts only about twenty years...Then her life takes a turn. She has freedom and usually plenty of time SAHMs I personally know, live like queens.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 05:51 PM
5

women being able to choose their own life, Yes, and also having open communication with their partner instead of following cultural/soceital scripts. I've always considered an obsession (not just preference, but really waxing lyrical) about "roles" of any kind, as an indicator of poor critical thinking skills in a person.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 01:55 AM
2

I think I just really like eating (and cooking). Good ingredients make a huge difference in tastiness, so I get excited when I find particularly fresh succulent produce.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 12:36 AM
-1

A woman's role, difficult as it is, lasts only about twenty years. I've buried too many good friends who never lived to see 30, to assume "slavery for now" = "luxuriating potato of the future". But then again, I don't even believe in being a "good girl" while alive, for the sake of a heavenly afterlife. But I'm also a hedonistic harpy who goes "Stay out of my kitchen!" (mainly with my ex'es :p). I haven't blurted that for many years now because my husband is a man who stays out of my kitchen by …
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 12:27 AM
1

omg Food shopping isn't even a chore for me, it's a passion.
/r/RedPillWomen12/04/18 12:16 AM
1

Cleaning out the fridge remains something we haven't solved reliably yet. My solution was get a bigger fridge lol It's easier to keep it clean, when you have more room to work with, so things don't get squashed or spill out from being jostled.
/r/RedPillWomen11/04/18 11:20 PM
3

This has been studied and proven time after time with apes and gorillas. Doesn't this only prove you attract apes and gorillas with Old Spice? Where are you picking up chicks, OP?
/r/TheRedPill11/04/18 11:09 PM
3

Modern marriage doesn't really entail monogamy anymore, but yes, these studies do indicate that a person with an unrestricted SOI is ill-suited for monogamous relations relative his or her lower SOI counterpart ceteris paribus--what the authors and general experts take for granted. Yep, fully agreed. I also think the data is helpful for people who do want happy monogamous marriages. But in the RPW context where we (women) are cautious of hypergamy, this is somewhat frustrating. Most attractive m…
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/18 01:22 AM
0

I'm not refuting the studies. I'm saying OP's post cherry picks data to imply people (women and men) with high partner counts are not marriage-material "because look at all these studies that prove a high rate of cheating and divorce!"
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/18 12:25 AM
2

Heh, so is the fallacy of assuming all marriages in 2018 are monogamous, don't you think? Don't take it from me either, read it on the New York Times yourself. LPT on how to avoid divorce: Focus on open and honest communication with your partner, instead of making covert contracts based on your personal perception of social norms and assumptions of morality.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/18 12:16 AM
-2

TL; DR: People who truly enjoy sex are less compatible with monogamy. The problem with these studies is they assume all marriages are strictly monogamous, with no allowances for any instances where both husband and wife actively consent to temporary non-monogamy.
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/18 09:41 PM
1

if men could suddenly get turned on by fat chicks, they'd get a lot more blowjobs. Funny you should say that, because I happen to know men who plate fat chicks because they (purportedly) give epic blowjobs. Are you telling me that's not the norm :p "Traditional gender roles" have "worked for centuries" on a societal level because the majority of men are beta-inclined, and such men will continue to be the majority, because humans are naturally social, and no group of humans could function without…
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/18 02:42 AM
3

I believe you said the same thing about your man. Oh, that was then. He totally hangs out there now (as I do here) :p Deciding to stay with him without the ring is RPW on hard mode. I'd say it's only hard if she wants him to stay (strictly) monogamous forever. Men would happily keep a harem on regular rotation indefinitely, if his women were all willing to share :p Like so: https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1fpxfo/the_rotating_soft_harem_this_one_goes_out_to_all/ I'd say "hard mode" R…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/18 09:18 PM
2

Everyone chooses a flavor of RPW that works for them. Marriage is simply not the be all end all. I can see your point, and I do agree with you (I agree with all your posts in this thread). However, if we're strictly talking about "redpill" in the context of "the harsh realities of the current state of western society", I think the "harsh truth" is "divorce/an end-of-LTR should be the anticipated outcome of any relationship". This recent thread on TRP is "the harsh truth" from the male perspectiv…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/18 07:24 PM
12

Hey, if you're laughing at me, Not at you, specifically :p I just laugh a lot, in general. Some would say I'm very easy to amuse. I don't laugh at people I respect, and neither do you I guess I'm a terrible person, because I do laugh at people I respect if they fuck up, because I don't think of it this way: I'm the one fucking up. I'm clearly not cultivating respect. When someone I respect fucks up, they don't lose my respect, because humans, no matter how "superior", always make mistakes. A per…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/18 11:03 PM
18

No laughing allowed in an RP relationship, huh? :p
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/18 10:40 PM
24

Hmm.. it's concepts like this that make me wonder if I'm "RPW" at all. I mean, anyone who knows me well would laugh at the idea of me being "obedient", I think. If my husband ever tells me "You will do as I say, woman!", I'd laugh at him too :p My understanding of RP: A dominant man doesn't need to demand obedience, because he inspires it by just being himself. I do everything I can to serve and please my husband because I'm compelled to. His existence demands my submission, the way scorching he…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/18 10:36 PM
3

I am still searching for a good and reliable way to teach that first step of "yes, you actually have to do something". Because what to "do" in the context of "getting married" varies too much to be generalized, imo. There's often conflicting advice on RPW because there's an assumption about how the "right man" has "a good combination of alpha and beta traits" --- that's all well and good, but the more alpha traits he has, the less likely he's willing to be domesticated as the workhorse to suppor…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/18 04:02 AM
0

I believe this is supported by data As far as I know, most (all?) RP guidelines are. It's why I enjoy hanging out around these parts :p I do realize that my cavalier way with words probably made me sound like I'm being sassy when I go "RP says" lol ..I hope I can figure out how to improve my text "tone" with time. the respect part I think respect is fundamental for any relationship to be functional. As one of my favorite posters here always say: "no respect = no relationship". I wonder if holdin…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/18 10:21 PM
1

I'm not sure lol When viewing from my own perspective: the first thing I "vet" for is libido and kink-compatibility, so other women's "reviews" (lol) are quite useless to me: it's like reading reviews for a 4WD vehicle's performance on city asphalt, when you intend to take it rock-crawling. From my perspective (..as a weirdo :p), listening to any review (for anything related to a potential partner, or even a potential platonic friend) is folly. I (generally) find that people's opinions/perceptio…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/18 10:19 PM
3

High Value Men have options because we all want a man that we deem to be high value. This is often self-contradictory in the context of RPW (imo), because we're talking about two very different things: "high value" from the point of view of an individual (what is "high value" to one person isn't "high value" to another) a man with an abundance of options, maybe all the options in the world I think the questions would be easier to answer if you changed the perspective to "if I was a "high value" …
/r/RedPillWomen23/03/18 06:44 PM
1

we gauge how desirable our men are by what other women think (preselection) this is an AWALT behavior ^ I agree with this from your previous reply. It's the OPs assumption that simply having had LTRs is an indication that a guy is going to be sexually skilled that I think is not accurate. I also agree with this. But I'm curious: If other women are telling you that he's great in bed, especially if they are no longer with him, then it's a good sign. Isn't this also (sexual, non-relationship) prese…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/18 05:25 PM
2

Not for nothing, having had multiple partners or even LTRs does not necessarily mean a man is good at sex. :-P I fully agree. I tend to hear from other women (especially during those "girls' night out" conversations) that a man with a.. "favorable reputation" generally has "good performance". But what do I know, really? It's no secret that I'm "speshul needs" when it comes to sex :p
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/18 11:14 PM
8

had some experience with women Experience: it can be good because he "understands women", and it can be bad if he projects other women's behavior on you (being dismissive/presumptive). A woman who is typical AWALT would find an experienced man very attractive, because he "just knows what to do!". RPW women would have worked hard not to be AWALT (having AWALT urges, but not acting on them), so experience needs to go with wisdom and maturity to appreciate that. they will better know what they want…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/18 07:26 PM
2

Even saving her husband's job for a little while will reek of nepotism and foster resentment amongst all the lower-level employees that remain. Retaining key personnel to facilitate a transition isn't nepotism, nor a reason for resentment. Perhaps I'm too generous in thinking people here have the intellect to be charmingly persuasive, that I did not need to spell out all the details like steps in a recipe.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/18 06:32 PM
11

Your husband is in a good position to help make the transition go as smoothly as possible, to minimize any losses for the company during the transfer. Use your leverage as operations manager to persuade the owner to keep him employed until then. This should buy your husband some time to look for other options (you could help too, depending on the structure of your company). When one door closes, just open another one.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/18 06:30 AM
1

Well if we knew that was all it took :-P Rewarding bad behavior on a sub about good behavior would be most offensive to many, I'm sure. Alternatively, you could have my flair updated with the number of reports made against me (you know, like an n-count tag!) :p Negative stars? Black stars!
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/18 12:58 AM
1

Oh shi-shiny! .. I can't help feeling mildly obligated to be less rowdy now :( .. just mildly :p ♥ Thanks, u/girlwithabike !
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/18 11:28 PM
2

I am just asking for the same amount of respect that a man should be given for giving his all to his marriage. I used to look at it this way too. It's not "wrong" per se, but it's a limited (female) perspective. Someone much wiser than me explained to me once that men and women process "respect" differently: When a man says he respects someone, he means looking up to them (with admiration and/or deference, which is sorta-kinda pedestal-ish :p). When a woman says she respects someone, she means c…
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/18 06:19 AM
1

I never said RP's "truths" were "wrong" (I wouldn't be hanging out here if I did!). I said "it sounds wrong", because it would be a natural reaction for any woman who truly take those vows seriously --- many of such women are regular posters in this sub. I personally think it's counterproductive to nitpick on minor misunderstandings about RP concepts, to the point of driving quality women (women who do take marriage seriously) away from this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/18 09:51 PM
1

He is lucky to have me because I entered into our marriage believing it was forever. I feel the same about marriage being forever. I think I see what you mean, and why your comments about who's "lucky" are rubbing people the wrong way lol In RP subs, women's hypergamy is taken as an immutable "truth", and in RPW, the need to recognize and control that hypergamy is strongly emphasized in almost all posts regarding marriage. What doesn't apply are your examples. The examples apply in an RP context…
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/18 09:02 PM
1

Yeah I relate to that feeling of obligation too. I'm also not into tangible gifts because I prefer a level of minimalism in my life. For treats or special experiences, I prefer paying my share so I don't feel like I'm being a burden. I do show enthusiastic appreciation when I'm given gifts, but I prefer "quality time" more (not special experiences, just typical companionship). I enjoy giving gifts, however. But I'd be lying if I said I did not feel entitled to being wifed if I proved myself to b…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 07:52 PM
2

Soaked in water until they're soft-ish, to (supposedly) remove the outer layer that has "anti-nutrients" (phytic acid and tannin, which makes the nutrients not available). Same reason for light-roasting, supposedly. I don't think chocolate breaks down the outer layer that well lol Personally, I just soak them so they don't become rock-hard after I'm done roasting them to make them taste good (raw almonds taste really bleh to me). If doing all that is beneficial, all the better, right? :p Drownin…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 07:33 PM
3

Most welcome! Remember you're his source of joy, so simply being around you (and seeing you happy) will lift his mood. You got this <3 Btw, pre-soaked llightly-roasted almonds provide a better source of magnesium than supplement tablets, I think. Nutrients from food sources absorbs better.
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 06:46 PM
15

In my experience, when a man you love and live with says he wants "alone time", it just means he wants to hear himself think (to solve his own problems) without distractions. He wants more "me time" to spend in his "man cave" (literal or metaphorical). He generally seems more sad without me and doesn't sleep as well when Im gone. Don't literally "leave him alone", because he wants you around. Be physically present, but don't engage him on a mental level, unless he initiates it himself. Even then…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 06:17 PM
4

Tangible gifts and out of the ordinary treats (experiences, vacations etc) let you know that your man wants you around. Given that, we're always going to have some attraction to gifts. Now that you mention it, I just realized that marriage is something I consider a gift --- the only one that I will explicitly ask for, but could never find the right words to express why I feel so strongly about this one thing, when I have zero expectations for any gifts, ever. Before starting any relationship, my…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/18 05:27 PM
3

if I believed that I was a good partner to him I would be gone. he is my first serious relationship. Maybe that is a big part of why I didn't leave. I'd suggest doing a lot of self-reflection and carefully listen to yourself (because you know yourself best). According to what you're saying here, you're not trying to make this relationship work because you respect him, nor that you can't imagine him not being in your life. The impression I'm getting from what you're saying here, you're only stayi…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/18 09:37 PM
2

I recently read a post by a man saying how if men want to really know their women they will keep track of her cycle. Yeah, I dont get it, either. I'm born with ovaries, was diagnosed with PCOS about 5 years ago, have struggled with irregular periods most of my life and had debilitatingly-painful cramps .. .. but I still don't understand what this "mood swing" or "PMS" thing is, other than hearing women use it as an excuse to be a bitch, and men using it as an excuse to dismiss a woman. Maybe I'm…
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/18 01:39 AM
1

It can definitely work out well, as long as you're clear about your goals/preferences, and there's a strong compatibility. I only mentioned what I did, because RPW guidelines for vetting tend to lean more on traditional/conservative relationship preferences. Bisexuality doesn't factor much otherwise.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/18 11:38 PM
15

The more they openly mention their bisexuality, the less likely they're interested in marriage, traditional gender roles, nor want a strictly-monogamous relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen11/03/18 05:04 AM
1

Very true! I find it such a difficult balance between shared interests, location/culture (work-related), interpersonal compatibility, and different life-schedules (availability). It makes me so cynical when I read the same sentiments about "your wife is not your friend" posted here as well. It's good to know it's not as universal as I thought.
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/18 05:03 AM
7

Recall that women are inherently submissive, and look around them to see what is normal behaviour. Because of this, men who can't control themselves (addiction/impulsiveness/etc) are also projecting the message "I'm not in control". This is where guys slip up the most. Slacking off is also a sign of not being in control of themselves. Great article! Very practical advice, especially this part: Gifts (generally small and inexpensive as a rule) should happen when you feel like it, not on Christmas…
/r/TheRedPill10/03/18 02:00 AM
1

I agree, my impression of RPW goals is that women here are interested in the men who are good exceptions. The study confirms what I've observed about the majority, bringing to mind what I normally hear most marriage-minded/married men say about women in the context of wives/family/children. I probably should clarify that I was talking about marriage-ready/married/LTR men only, in my previous comment. And by "other", I mean "can't be a bro" (if there's a better word to describe it, I'd like to kn…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/18 01:04 AM
1

It's also a certain type of men (exceptions notwithstanding) : men who want children, and looking for a woman hot enough to be a fuckable baby-maker, and nothing else. They will love and provide and sacrifice for family, but the mother of their children is a responsiblity/burden, not a friend/fun adventure-partner. Family-minded men (exceptions notwithstanding) will always look at women as "other", which I personally find repulsive. Yes, men and women are different, but we're still human. Whatev…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/18 09:52 PM
1

It's rubbing you in the wrong way because your intuition is giving you a clear sign something is wrong. It's pattern recognition really - trust your guts. I fully agree. I have no idea why you're being downvoted. For someone who is only a "boyfriend", and if I were in OP's shoes, I'd just chalk this whole thing up to incompatibility and move on immediately instead of waste my time trying to be virtuous :p You can't choose your family, but you can choose your friends. A man's choice of friends sa…
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/18 06:44 PM
3

Know and own your flaws, so others can't use it against you (and also so you don't sabotage yourself with them). And if you can't fix those flaws, always be mindful to compensate for them.
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/18 07:31 PM
1

It appears I've broached the subject by saying that it shouldn't be broached. :p I may have to go ahead and write about this just to prevent these dudes from damaging themselves by snow leopard hunting. Actual snow leopards (the literal animal) are easily viewable in captivity, too. I don't think most people want to take one home, even if that was an option.
/r/TheRedPill07/03/18 07:13 PM
-1

Why do they always compare me to God? Why not? High expectations comes with the territory of respect :p Ain't selling anything. True.
/r/TheRedPill07/03/18 01:57 AM
1

The most effective way to teach, is by being a good example of what you're trying to teach.
/r/RedPillWomen06/03/18 07:26 PM
-1

Surely you know I won't be the one doing the poking :p Dangling something forbidden didn't work so well for God in his little Eden project, after all. I'm just saying people would be less receptive to your advice because of it.
/r/TheRedPill06/03/18 06:14 PM
-1

That's why I don't teach relationship game to men, only to women. Because women have some need of it, and men don't. Arguably, no curriculum is complete without subjects of useless knowledge. Perceived credibility is the factor here. But I'm certainly not questioning your reasoning, either. I mean, I'm not going to study a space shuttle operations manual on the off-chance I might find myself stranded in orbit one day. And maybe this is just me, but telling me that shuttle manual is something I'm…
/r/TheRedPill06/03/18 05:37 AM
2

Places/events where people go to have fun, will make it easier to socialize and potentially find new friends --- especially if most people aren't already friends there. Arts-related events are my favorite, because it gives you a chance to talk about something you've experienced together at the venue, and that shared experience gives most conversations an easy starting point. Hobby/interest groups are great online, but in person.. few are welcoming to new members, unless you naturally fit in with…
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 06:06 PM
7

Anywhere/anything that attracts women with old-fashioned tastes --- and when I say "old-fashioned", I mean "timeless".
/r/RedPillWomen05/03/18 05:19 PM
3

And so you have your answer :p
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/18 04:24 AM
2

Rhetorical question: is your need to know so pressing, that if he decided to never tell you, you'd be forever restless about never knowing? If your answer is "yes", then he has somehow lost your trust. I'm not saying we must implicitly trust our men all the time. I'm saying if he has done something and lost some portion of your trust, then your curiosity is no longer idle. If your curiosity isn't idle, then trust should also be questioned here, if you want to find the best strategy to approach t…
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/18 03:38 AM
5

It's never wrong to tell him the reasons why this is something that's important to you. By all means, let him know that you're interested to know. What I meant is give him space to decide when/if he wants to talk about it. Since you've been with him for so many years, and intend to be with him for the rest of your life, there's no need to rush him to tell everything all at once. It's like he's a non existent entity until we met. It's kind of eery I feel like knowing about someone's past can help…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/18 10:15 PM
12

As long as your relationship is going well and you are only having idle curiosity, remember that you're not entitled to know anything he doesn't want to share with you. Feminists will always say "but what if he's hiding things that will affect me later on!?". Well, that's what actual trust (in your vetting ability, and in his ability to do the right thing) means. I tend to ask for information by offering information first --- talk about my own past (keep it short), then go "how was yours?" If he…
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/18 08:16 PM
3

Well said. Anybody who follows "society's plan" (even when it's "working") too devoutly are always the first to be fucked over, any time changes are made, and changes will always be made. .. which makes it even more ironic to cling to an obsolete "plan" like what the tradcons are doing .. lol No "plan" has ever been about benefiting people, even when it seems that way when it works for most people. All "plan"s (especially religious ones) are about benefiting from the people, for its own goals (t…
/r/TheRedPill03/03/18 06:27 PM
3

People cling to tradcon ideologies because forging their own path off the beaten track is scary. Tradcon works so well because it uses fear --- not direct application of fear, but by soothing away the fear with promises of knowing what's "right" (like the "mother knows best" bullshit). Leaving the supposed "safety" of the group-think is scary. Thinking for yourself means you also have to face all the lies you've been telling yourself, and that's even scarier. All adults used to be children and m…
/r/TheRedPill03/03/18 02:16 PM
1

Submission in the right context, is a byproduct of respect and gratitude. This is why I'm always excited to see you posting here! Thanks for your insightful perspective, as always. Respect is an obvious given, but gratitude is something I often "take for granted" in the sense that I just feel grateful in general (probably a side effect of having survived some bad situations), and I mainly associate gratefulness with happiness (definitely not submission lol). I literally took for granted that gra…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/18 07:13 AM
2

BDSM has become another way for women to control their men - with their lists of wills and won'ts and safe words to halt things whenever they like Pretty much. Neither men nor women are exceptions when it comes to willingness to pump their mental hamsters full of steroids. Dress it up in pretty words, and anything goes, even if it becomes a completely different animal (like a poodle vs a wolf). I think people get carried away too much with the .."tingles" they get from "the lifestyle", and lose …
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 04:22 PM
1

But yes, I think the the world around us is impacting the reason that more people are seeking out some soft version of it to try on for size, Fully agreed. But I think the reason it would become "trendy" I don't disagree, I was just explaining the difference (probably didn't explain very well, sorry). In fact, I don't think the king/kingdom dynamic is relevant at all, if we're talking about gender relations in general, which was why I kept it short. I also intentionally left out exceptions where…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 03:48 PM
1

a way of attempting to get back that dynamic in at least a small part of your life. Perhaps, but I wouldn't say it applies in general. What you describe applies more for people seeking out variety and/or the ability to find release from inhibitions. For many of us, it's just about fully indulging our basic (gender) urges that are not about sex (:p). It's about a man feeling free to be a king, and a woman feeling free to be the kingdom ruled by him --- at all times, because it's the foundation of…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 02:14 PM
1

Thanks for elaborating further. I truly appreciate how clearly you've explained everything, because it finally makes sense to me now. So we teach them a strategy that doesn't depend on love Sounds like how I was raised, but with kindness (not abuse :p), so this makes perfect sense to me. I never developed a need to be loved, but love still feels nice and I seek it out because I'm still human. The difference is, I only seek out love with the cold calculation of a machine when I vet someone for wo…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 01:10 PM
2

Thanks so much for your reply! This clears up a lot of questions that I simply couldn't find a good way to ask within the boundaries of RP sub rules, and could never find posted in any sidebar to read. I'm very sorry if I'm being obnoxious for asking my questions in your thread here, as this was the only opportunity I've found to ask. There aren't enough of them to run into each other and form social groups. We kind of did, but that was before "50 Shades" became a thing lol :(
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 04:24 AM
1

I do know what you could do without if you went over there - the petty snark. You know, I was serious when I said in another thread you're one of my favorite posters in this sub, because I follow your posts long enough to know that you certainly don't follow your own advice regarding doing less "petty snark".
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 03:39 AM
2

I appreciate the clarification. This is something I've long wanted to ask, because the jarring differences makes it very difficult to mention RP subs in any constructive context outside of RP subs.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 03:38 AM
3

I think men need to teach other men these things. I agree. I also agree with everything else you've said. Good food for thought (as always). Thanks for the replies!
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 02:41 AM
2

Feel free to educate me on what I can contribute.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 01:54 AM
3

All good points, thank you! A woman could post on TRP without any benefit to herself. Most do not chose to do that. The biggest difference between TRP and RPW is that RPW aren't full of posts that are clearly hostile towards men. In fact, I don't think we have any posts that are hostile towards men (in general), ever. There are benefits to men, especially young ones, to learn how to get laid. It boost self esteem and gives confidence that is needed for men to function in the world. If you're imp…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 01:48 AM
11

Some of the men come over here and help women. The women all have zero interest in helping men. RP says: Men want sex, women want commitment. TRP (male) strategy: get sex from hot women with minimal commitment, if any. RPW (female) strategy: get commitment from quality men, and women here are encouraged to provide good sex after getting commitment. Quality men who want more than disposable sex from disposable women serve their own interests by participating in RPW. The only women who would serve…
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/18 12:07 AM
7

you'll become progressively harder to impress If you spend enough time around a person to actually get to know them beyond the surface-impression, the more you'd see how they lack in many aspects, because people can't be amazing at everything in life. There's always something set aside. Your man only seems to lack in various aspects, because you know him far better than other men. If your day is full of big professional milestones, high stakes decisions, meeting hot shots and big wigs - are you …
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 01:34 PM
1

both cats and TRP men respond better to a male voice than a female voice To be completely honest, I'm partial to male voices myself, but (if you are who I'm guessing you are, because you sound a lot like her :p) I'm very partial to your posts here as well. I do appreciate your indulging my candid comments with replies, and I have no idea why you're being downvoted, but it wasn't me.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 02:17 AM
3

RPW only has one strategy so that is all you will ever see here. I understand. It just would be so much less confusing to new members if TRP (the male strategy) wasn't considered the core of all RP --- I mean, I also understand why it's the core, but separation might help lessen the amount of tedious work RPW mods have to do in this sub. Some days, it looks like trying to herd cats in here.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 12:29 AM
3

By hyper focusing on the sex element ? You'd have to point out which part of what I said gave you this impression, because I didn't say sex outside of quoting what you said about lovebots. what value does the average modern woman offer to a potential or actual man? Ah, I got the wrong impression, because some days, this sub blurs with r/relationships in my mind lol People offer value to each other in very different ways outside of the domestic/personal context that you mention in your OP.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 12:14 AM
1

understands the theory Speaking of theory: it's extremely ironic that the (understandably) different strategies between the male and female sides of the RP subs encourage the gender conflict mentioned in the OP.
/r/RedPillWomen28/02/18 12:03 AM
4

many tasks that used to be filled by the housewife, are now filled by machines Some speculate that this will occur when lover bots are improved, others speculate that this will occur when household cleaning and cooking bots are invented. It's all speculation for now. Until machines can provide "fun" that is precisely personalized to his tastes and regularly being upgraded, I'm still useful. Of course there are computer/console games for "fun", but I also maximize the fun he can get in life by ta…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 11:22 PM
3

Even the highest value male wants admiration Depends on how socially-prominent he is. The more admiration he gets in general (from others), the less valuable it is for him. Yes, he still appreciates admiration, but in private interactions with his wife/confidante, he's going to be more interested in her being always straight with him --- all the good and all the bad. In the rare times when I have less pleasant thoughts in my head, he wants me to freely share them with him, and he says "thanks fo…
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 12:49 AM
2

Go a week without ANY negative comments. If you're talking about within my marriage, think it's been at least 5 years since the last negative thing I've said, jokingly or otherwise. If my husband's ego is a creature that grows a pea's width every time I cuddle it, it'd be larger than a t-rex by now, I think. If you're talking about my best friend.. I married him..
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/18 12:01 AM
2

Almost isn't none :p You're also being too kind.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 11:14 PM
2

This is the best, most practical answer in this whole thread. I'm sad I can't upvote your reply to the top.
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 11:08 PM
4

I think who we are is, to some degree, the sum of our actions. If you're talking about acts of kindness, yes this is true. My impression of the context within this thread, is kindness of thoughts/words, which is often a matter of interpretation that varies between different people's definition of "kind". I'm not a nice person because I have a very.. uncompromising (:p) view of facts. Facts like "I lost attraction to you", which I simply view as a statement of a situation, and not an accusation. …
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 09:40 PM
2

It doesn't matter how sage your advice is if no one can stand talking to you. This was something someone said about a guy who used to regularly post here (haven't seen him posting here for awhile now). His advice always had the melodrama of Michael Bay movies, but I learned a lot from what he said --- not that I don't already intuitively apply most of it at this point in my life, but I've never had the accurate words to describe them before. I'm more about doing than saying, but it's good to hav…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 02:53 PM
3

I'm abrasive to the rest of the world Maybe it's a gender thing, but women are more likely to get things done by applying a lot of social lube, either directly or indirectly, depending on context and individuals involved. I save my kindness for my wife. Perhaps I'm wrong to assume everybody in this sub is kind to their spouse by default? I'm .. "passionate" with my husband --- passionate with compliments, passionate with providing him all the things he desires from me --- physical or otherwise, …
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 12:53 PM
2

Most people, however, don’t talk to each other this way though. I agree. I've always had a strong separation between my general social persona and how I behave privately with my husband. I'm not a nice person without my social filters on, and my husband is the only one who thinks that's hilarious, so.. yeah I'm all about filters :p Since I don't socially discuss my relationship (outside of the context of subs like this), I've always thought it was "normal" for other couples too, but I guess not.…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 11:05 AM
3

This seems like it could be a potentially hurtful and potentially inflammatory sentence in other relationships to me, I can agree with this, now that I think of it lol can you elaborate on exactly how you communicate this? With a lot of body language. I definitely don't say any of this over text message. I think neither of us taking criticism as a personal "attack" also helps this work for us. A big part of emotional intimacy is about being completely genuine with each other. No human being is p…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 08:02 AM
2

How would you respond? I wouldn't be offended, and I'd fix the problem. We've been together a very long time (almost half our lifetimes), so directness (abrasiveness, I suppose :p) is valuable to fix any problem while baring the core reason of the problem without misunderstandings. u/loneliness-inc u/Guywithgirlwithabike Thanks for your replies, you're both my favorite (regular) male contributors in this sub, and it's most helpful for me to hear from you. I've long wondered if RPW concepts are f…
/r/RedPillWomen26/02/18 07:58 AM
3

Accepting ”no” with grace is also a virtue! I have almost no virtues, so how I'd present the problem: "Having to pick up after you makes me feel like I'm mothering you, and that makes me lose attraction to you. This is distressing me, because I don't want to feel this way about you at all. Please help me out here?" Then discuss. I tend to ask my husband a lot of "why" questions for things he does (don't demand the "why", ask it with genuine curiosity and listen carefully), so he can help me see …
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/18 11:54 PM
1

So smart people never become drug addicts? I'm just going to quote you here in case you delete your post out of shame, because I said: Smart people rarely make bad decisions as long as they are well informed, Do you see the word "never" anywhere?
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/18 09:01 AM
1

I'd like to think if he gives me his word he'll be safe about something I can trust in that. Then trust him to know what's best for himself. Smart people rarely make bad decisions as long as they are well informed, so do offer information if you think he is lacking in that. My husband is working on his health too, but he's more motivated (and make far more progress) when I let him decide what he should be doing. Men are more likely to change when they feel in control of making the decision to ch…
/r/RedPillWomen25/02/18 01:15 AM
12

I hold onto his vials and lock them away. That's my compromise what do you think? You're his wife, not his mommy. A grown man, especially a smart capable man, can get more on his own, if he really wants to. He'll simply not tell you, to avoid the conflict that won't change the outcome. Besides, he doesn't "have" to do anything. What are you going to do, if he doesn't obey your wishes --- be upset forever? divorce him?
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/18 10:06 PM
9

Both my husband and I are bisexual .. :p Neither of us keep in touch with any of our exes, but that's our personal preference, not a boundary discussed at all. We just prefer to move on completely. No bridges burnt, just bridges abandoned. he’s not completely over these women If that's what your gut is telling you, then you should probably listen. Context matters. If it's just your hamster on a pogo stick, ignore it. I’m debating what the RP perspective on this might be. General guidelines only …
/r/RedPillWomen22/02/18 02:37 AM
26

effective ways of explaining your relationship to people who just don’t get it? "It makes us very happy, and we both feel fulfilled doing what we do for each other" usually puts a quick end to that topic. "Feelings" are very sacred to BPers, and you can call them out on their blasphemy if they persist to tell you you're not feeling what you feel :p
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/18 07:44 PM
6

the guy in question has since said that he doesn't like being tested Vetting ("testing", or whatever you want to call it) is necessary when dating, and only a fool would not "test" someone. The guy sounds like he's trying to manipulate you into doing things that are against your own interests, for his own benefit.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/18 04:26 PM
3

You said it better than I ever could!
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/18 04:13 PM
5

Regarding vetting, u/RubyWooToo has some good posts here that are general guidelines for single ladies, and I highly recommend them: https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7gqsmu/for_single_ladies_late_to_the_red_pill_part_i/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7j5g00/for_single_ladies_late_to_the_red_pill_part_ii/ https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/7ltc5r/for_single_ladies_late_to_the_red_pill_part_iii/ Regarding the definition of "high quality", I'd say compatibi…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/18 04:00 PM
36

A high quality man wants (and gets) things that are difficult for most people to find/get. The nutshell is: you have to be extraordinary, and I'm talking about your personality, not your career/social status/etc. You need to know how to rock his world, with your personality alone. Good looks only get his initial attention and the novelty of your good looks will quickly fade if personality isn't "enough" to keep his continued interest in you. If you can make a man feel like the master of the univ…
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/18 08:12 AM
6

I caught my boyfriend of 2 years masturbating to pictures of women we both personally know If your goal is to have a strictly monogamous lifetime relationship with this guy, then it's probably time to leave. I wouldn't even confront him about it, because "words are wind" and "action speaks louder than words". Getting off to porn/camgirls is impersonal and/or transactional, because they're not people in your mutual social circle, or part of your life in any way. And if they are part of your life,…
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/18 07:33 PM
1

being the one to initiate a date doesn't strike me as crazy blue pill out of balance. It depends entirely on how it's done, rather that who did the doing. In many situations, the difference can be blurry, especially when done tactfully. Hard to say one way or other without specific examples, I think. In most of my past relationships, I was the one who "reached out", but I didn't outright "ask". For example, I'd casually drop bombs like "This relationship is feeling less and less platonic, don't …
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/18 12:11 AM
2

And I've been told by men over the years that they would love to have women ask them out. Same, in my experience. And my immediate (AWALT?) reaction is always revulsion :p I've always wondered what this means. Have I been culturally "brainwashed" to want to be chased, or is this my base nature, because it's certainly a very gut-level reaction.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/18 10:08 PM
10

The thing is that he is really shy. Dominant men can be quiet or reserved, but they wouldn't be "shy" in the "afraid to take action"/timid way. The interpretation of shy as timid might be why you're getting (RPW-aligned) advice to next him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/18 09:48 PM
5

Like developing a super power. I'll use pyrokinesis as an example: Everyone has access to the ability to create fire one way or another, so being able to create fire isn't exactly "special", in the sense that you won't be worse off in life without the ability of pyrokinesis. But life is just more.. interesting.. with pyrokinesis, because it gives you so many more options that you previously didn't have. But you are at risk of randomly setting your own cat on fire if you don't have good control o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/18 08:36 PM
10

I’m most interested in hearing your ideas beyond the everyday behaviors that RPW most likely already do (e.g., ‘maintaining a healthy sex life’, ‘watching out for his well-being’). How does it manifest in terms of tangible actions? The short version: I remember, forever :p The long version: Create something tangible related to your gratitute (written records/pics/vids/special celebratory homecooking/objects/etc). Talk to him about it fondly (do not underestimate the power of regular loving compl…
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/18 03:17 AM
24

In a religious context "obligation" means conforming to religious expectations. It's not about entitlement, but about a religious ideal to strive for. Outside of a religious context, you make a good point.
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/18 06:48 AM
1

Also, there's a difference between men "wanting to know" and "worrying" about the N-count. Lumping both things into the same thing to sneer at, is just being willfully obtuse (or plainly very idiotic :p) Any guy with good judgement will want to know, because an N-count that reaches three digits before someone's 30th birthday is not "normal", the same way having any type of mental illness makes a person not "normal". If someone used to be an alcoholic for many years, any potential partner has the…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/18 12:24 AM
13

This takes away bonding time for you guys and refocuses it onto someone else. Yeah, which ironically reduces the value of the "main" relationship the more you "open" it, making you think you're "missing out" :p Poly folks like to talk about how their "ability to love" is limitless, while completely forgetting that their short mortal lifespan is a very limited one. I'd rather spend my short life building one thriving relationship with the best person for me, than have many shallow flings with man…
/r/RedPillWomen01/02/18 12:39 AM
6

Our (1 year) relationship we are just about to move in together and talking about marriage etc. we are very invested in our future. He always intends to initiate/says he wants sex but lately there’s been no follow through. He will say “after work I can’t wait to have you” and when he gets home I wait for him to initiate and, nothing. he said early i’m dating he has a very high sex drive so i’m confused and anxious. You're confused and anxious because he says one thing, and does something else. I…
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/18 05:36 PM
6

How I wish this myth would die in the fiery pits of Hell. Me too. I've gained more visible muscles learning the salsa with my husband, than I ever gained at the gym (haven't bothered with the gym for awhile now).
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/18 07:39 PM
1

Ahh that does put his spending habits in a clearer context. I read through your newer replies also: However, he's charming, likable, confident and stable. ^ If these are the main reasons you're staying with him, I'd say these qualities are not that rare (in my experience), but my social circle are mostly STEM types. I think you should explore better options while you're still in your prime and all the best options are still open to you. Other posters have already covered everything else that I w…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/18 07:56 PM
9

To add insult to injury, this debt was accumulated in no small part due to his ex-wife If you were my younger sister (someone important to me, whose life choices I care about), I would advice to never marry a man who has married before, especially when you're young, in the peak of your SMV, and you've never been married. A divorced man clearly signals low RMV, similar to how the RMV for women decreases if she's divorced. Marriage is something that's supposed to be for life, and a serious commitm…
/r/RedPillWomen18/01/18 01:15 PM
7

I really can't see the point of living anymore. I've read a bunch of books about addictions, co-dependency etc. I generally read a lot. I watch many Ted Talks about dealing with your mind, your problems etc. I tried dancing classes, working out in home, writing a diary, a little bit of meditation. I even talk to myself in 'comforting' way. I joined therapy about 2 months ago. Nothing. ^ I relate to being in this situation, as I grew up in a very bad home environment, and I've become somewhat emo…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/18 10:25 PM
7

The type of guys I attract/am attracted to don't like any body modifications on women (not a deal-breaker, just a turn off), but I'm also the type of woman who don't want them for myself. Some of my exes wanted me to get some form of body mods because they thought I looked too plain (or not "cool" or something). I simply told them I was saving any mods for marriage lol And they're exes for a reason. I think you should do what you want for yourself, because if you hold off on doing something just…
/r/RedPillWomen15/01/18 09:09 PM
6

Haha yeah, the more worked up we get, the more ridiculous we sound, like two cranky robots being emotionally verbose at each other :p The rare times we don't stop to laugh, and it gets far-out weird, it also reminds us that we're fortunate to have found someone to mentally connect with so intimately, that this type of exchange is even possible. Disagreements rarely escalate to actual arguments, because we're strongly reminded that we love each other, and even if we're angry, we're not angry at e…
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/18 10:29 PM
18

When we disagree on anything, we discuss it in programming syntax. This makes it much faster to communicate clearly (saves time, less stress), sounds silly (eases any tensions), helps us view the topic with full objectivity, and helps us come up with solutions faster. However, yours sound more human and fun!
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/18 01:31 PM
16

Be flexible with yourself, focus on what needs to be done within a certain timeframe, instead of when they are done (ie: at a fixed time every day). Personally, I don't do well with routines at all, to the point where I don't even have recipes, because my cooking is "modular" (can't think of a better word lol) --- basically, when I shop, I just buy the best of what's currently available, then go home and combine them into tasty combinations, which means my homecooked meals are forever varied. Mu…
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/18 09:59 PM
3

so dying doesn't even let us off the hook! Haha damn! I don't think I'm even capable of that level of devotion.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 11:19 PM
3

I’ll really feel like I have no value after 30 I married at 31 :p But it wasn't because of "The Wall", but because it took me that long to vet for a worthy man (I'm not a smart woman, and I know it, so I accommodated for that :p). I'm not saying this as advice, because this is just how it turned out for me. My husband is someone I've known for more than a decade, but we weren't particularly compatible until our late 20s, to be honest. We're mainly bonded by a lot of shared life experiences, wher…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 11:02 PM
10

When I married my husband, we agreed if this marriage didn't work out, we'd either have to plot murder or duel to the death. If you have to kill your spouse to get rid of them (if "until death do us part" is spoken honestly during marriage vows), you're much more motivated to work through whatever problems you might have, because it would be trivial in comparison to murder. While planning for a divorce as a potential outcome may be logical, it's also illogical to marry someone who doesn't take m…
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 10:39 PM
14

The character Joi, from Blade Runner 2049. If she was real, and not a product. As a product, she must sell well in a world where real girls don't know how to girlfriend anymore.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/18 04:08 AM
2

It was a general statement about the typical conflict between people with different values, which was why I phrased it as "my unpopular opinion". I expected to be downvoted, and certainly not be the top comment lol u/labelleindifference already gave good advice to the OP's reply, which was why I kept quiet instead of clutter the thread.
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/18 01:31 AM
3

I had a good laugh at this. It's supposed to be funny, because it's a desperate attempt of mine to bridge the inconsolable conflict between "preserving my womanly virtue" and "I marry for life, so I need to be sure I pick the right man". A compatible libido is the first priority for me (literally above everything else) because you can't negotiate with a basic biological need like a high sex drive. The only reason I'm even mentioning this is because you said: I have a high sex drive ^ If it's not…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 10:45 PM
2

I think some of this bears saying. Pft, all of the stuff you've said here needs to be in the side bar. The sidebar has good stuff, but your posts make a lot of them obsolete and rambly in comparison. it is still a strategy for men and it is something that the corporate world looks at. The kind of person you tell the world you share a bed with (aka: marry) is the fastest way for smart people to make a mostly-accurate judgement of your character. Women get judged too, if the higher-ups are trying …
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/18 06:16 PM
49

My unpopular opinion: just because a woman has traditional values, it doesn't make her automatically superior to women who choose otherwise. I wish women would stop tearing each other down to make themselves feel superior, because this is what modern feminists do: try to dictate what other women can/can't do, because they think their feminist values are superior. I think this elitist viewpoint is why traditional/conservative women are considered "uncool". It's not the traditional values/concepts…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/18 09:31 PM
3

None of this is to say that you should run off and lose your virginity to get it out of the way. For some men (especially non religious ones) sex before marriage may be non negotiable. I agree. @ u/Ezbet : I'd also like to elaborate a way to compromise on this, and still maintain your religious values: as long as your hymen is untouched, you're gold :p I have a high sex drive, and this was what I did for sexual vetting. It always amuses me that people assume N-count/sexual-experience and virgini…
/r/RedPillWomen02/01/18 01:48 AM
12

Instead of "marketing" yourself as someone available for a relationship, it'd be more practical to focus your energy on figuring out what you're looking for. In the context of your personal relationships, you're always the "employer", not the "potential candidate". Doing/thinking otherwise is not to your benefit, because shitty people would try to manipulate you, or push you around. As the "employer", your job is to vet the hell out of any "potential candidate". Do you think there would be some …
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/18 05:08 AM
2

Disease-free status is the one issue that is rarely discussed in any conversation on casual sex. Probably one of the reasons why approx 1 in every 4 Americans have herpes, and I suspect the number will only rise, since herpes is incurable and contagious, and casual sex is pretty much normalized by popular apps like Tinder. Here's the latest CDC report, for details: https://www.cdc.gov/std/stats16/figures/49.htm edit: more info on the WHO site: http://www.who.int/mediacentre/news/releases/2015/he…
/r/RedPillWomen31/12/17 12:15 AM
7

likes or wants to travel/has travelled, especially without their family I've read posts on other RP subs saying that it's a "signal for insatiable appetites", meaning you're likely to have multiple partners, or never satisfied with only one man, or have a tendency to stray, or cheat. This is not my personal belief, but I try to empathize with insecure men because the world is full of them, and socializing (especially on a professional capacity) is easier with some insight.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/17 12:13 PM
8

It speeds up skin regeneration, yes, but that's really all it does. Teens use retinoids to heal from severe acne too. The actual aging process is multi-factorial, and skincare can only do so much, otherwise plastic surgery would be obsolete lol I actually started skincare rather late because there weren't as many options back when I was a teen, compared to now. I think young people would greatly benefit from starting skincare early (mid to late teens), so they can look their best their whole lif…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/17 11:48 AM
7

sounds like a hamsetr who used anti aging creams before she met him That was me sharing facts. But since I'm supposedly "hamstering" then I'll ramble to oblige: I married a man who knew me since highschool. I use sunscreen often because I'm active in sports even back then. Yes, I look younger than my age, so I guess that makes me disgusting and vile.
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/17 11:34 AM
12

most men would agree that these are all pretty major "red flags" that may mean he is hiding is disgust for you. used anti aging creams before she met him As much as I enjoyed laughing at that, I think they should know that creams are not some kind of magical plastic surgery in a jar. Sunlight ages skin a lot more than natural aging does, and using sunscreen to protect yourself from skin cancer is also a form of anti-aging. Most skincare products are "anti-aging", because keeping the skin nourish…
/r/RedPillWomen29/12/17 10:43 AM
15

I hang out in this sub because this is (so far) the best resource I'm aware of, for me to learn how to not trample a man's natural masculine nature/needs, while acknowledging my nature/needs as a woman. My marriage/relationship structure is as far from traditional as an apple pie is from an apple straight from the tree. We've never assumed any "gender roles" (traditional or otherwise), because we're very mindful about maintaining good communication. We also both despise stagnation, and believe i…
/r/RedPillWomen28/12/17 04:21 AM
4

Call me stupid, but I enjoy chasing the same mission as my husband. No kids + related careers = easy open communication + very happy. I think it's also important to not get carried away by your "mission", no matter your gender. This (well-known?) letter from Epicurus to Menoeceus is something I always keep in mind, to keep me sensible: http://www.epicurus.net/en/menoeceus.html Some quotes from it: We must exercise ourselves in the things which bring happiness, since, if that be present, we have …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/17 06:53 PM
3

good role models ^ I agree that this is probably the most practical solution for the current situation, and mass media is the easiest way to spread the message. Since media profits the most from controversy, I think being hated on might just give Dean's example a wider audience :p
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/17 02:45 AM
22

This only motivates men to be their best when women do this and it is a healthy dynamic for a relationship. Of course I agree, otherwise I wouldn't be posting in this sub. But I think feminists are quick to roll their eyes at the concept of traditional gender roles because most men are not Captain material --- the main reason why we stress the importance of vetting in this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/17 02:31 AM
1

"All women are bisexual" sounds like something people who are not monogamous want everyone to believe. This would allow such people to justify having open relationships (threesomes, swinging, orgies, etc) or outright "polyamory". It does sound stupid, but there are also more stupid things like articles claiming "bisexual people are more likely to cheat". It's all very irrelevant to people who only want monogamous relationships, whether or not they're bisexual.
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/17 02:06 AM
3

As always, I agree with you. What annoys me is the conflicting advice I often come across in RP subs where women are told to be realistic about SMV, and select someone within her own range, then if she feels unsatisfied in her relationship: "AWALT/hypergamy!" Isn't it more sensible for a woman to keep "hypergamy" in check by aiming to date above her SMV in the first place? As for attractiveness, most women are average (because that's what "average" means :p), which would put them at a 5/10. Any …
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/17 01:06 AM
6

I'm not sure why you're getting downvotes. A woman's personality is very important to men who have "had their fill" of banging the 9/10 chicks. Yes, looks still matter, and you need to be at least around average and healthy. My husband has always been upfront with me about my looks: "I'm happy enough with your looks, but what I'm attracted to is your personality. You're the source of so much joy in my life that I miss you when you sleep too much." IMO, people who snort and say personality can't …
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/17 07:42 PM
8

It sounds like something's eating away at him, something he can't/don't want to share with you, but he's taking out his frustrations on you because you're a "safe" target. If you want to solve this problem, you have to find out what's causing it. If you're not contributing to the problem at present, then the root of the problem is something you need to find out if you want to save your relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/17 11:29 PM
4

I don't know exactly how to implement What worked well for me in every relationship I've ever had, is to use porn (sharing it, or watching together) as an opener/excuse to discuss sex-related topics/issues, when both parties are relaxed and clothed. This avoids springing random unsexy surprises/requests in the heat of the moment and ruin the mood, or get sex associated with anything negative.
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/17 06:28 AM
4

This is a great series of posts you're writing, thanks! Something I want to add to this section: We don’t need a piece of paper to stay together The "piece of paper" will really help you stay together if you're moving to a different country (for work, and such), or just traveling internationally. The process of visa applications/etc is far easier for everyone when you're doing it as a family unit, and this is something universal to all countries, as far as I'm aware of. And in the event of any u…
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/17 03:32 AM
7

This is why I hate seeing the "us" v "them" mentality. I think that mentality is part of (the ugly side of) human nature. We instinctively feel upset when we can't "fit in", yet when everyone is included, that means nobody is "special". This sub could easily devolve into a unicorn petting/gawking zoo for relationship-frustrated guys, or a virtue-signaling club for women, if not for our hardworking mods. Since I'm no unicorn and have an extreme shortage of virtues, I'd just not bother to particip…
/r/RedPillWomen06/12/17 07:42 PM
2

Have low expectations that every guy you get on a date with will be "the one" or magic will happen in a date, is only being realistic. The point is to have fun, instead of expect everything to always turn out perfect. OP is still working on getting comfortable with the idea of dating. Sorry I didn't realize it could be taken in the wrong context.
/r/RedPillWomen26/11/17 05:07 AM
4

I would love advice on how you come home and change mentality Switch modes based on environment, clothing, or the person/people you interact with. With enough practice, this comes easily to you. Both my husband and I have full time careers. We don't bother having anything alive that depend on us: no children, no pets, no plants. We share the housework about 80/20, where I do the majority of it. We minimize our possessions, don't have messy habits, and always clean up after ourselves immediately.…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/17 10:06 PM
2

Everybody has to start somewhere, and starting late is better than never :p You will gain more confidence with practice and experience.
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/17 09:55 PM
2

I'm 25 and an untouched virgin. The extent of my experience consists of the singular date I got pressured into going on during high school I have a vague idea of what I want I just have no idea what to do or where to start Just thinking about this is stressing me out to the point where I want to cry, and I haven't even been on a damn date yet! First, deep calming breaths :p Second, you have some reading/research to do. For RPW reading material, u/Cardiscappa has a great thread here . She also ha…
/r/RedPillWomen25/11/17 06:00 AM
1

Thanks for replying, and Happy Thanksgiving to you too! Your perspective is always valuable to me because you speak of experience which I can relate to, due to the nomadic nature of my job. I'd like to think the attraction situation, at least on a surface level, is already implied. Yes, and no. Maintaining attractiveness is something that requires constant, neverending effort, if you want a long term (10+ years) relationship to remain as perky as the initial new-relationship phase, but this is j…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/17 01:36 PM
2

I have a hard time with how my choice of words might carry tone in text, so I'm going to start by saying I've always appreciated your posts here, and I agree with many of the points you've made, and what I have to say is only intended as casual critique. If I am a Captain, doing the duties of a Captain, I.E. leading and protecting and providing, then that's all the comfort I need to give her. ("Her" being an open sort of fill in the blank situation) If she wants comfort over my angst over the br…
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/17 04:39 AM
6

Being with my boyfriend showed me that I really do want to be a wife and mother, but sadly we probably will never get married because of the age gap. If you are sure marriage would never happen, then stop wasting your time with that person. Going forward with RPW goals in mind, you should only date someone who has a clear intention to marry if the relationship works out well for both of you, ie: when you've both thoroughly vetted each other. Don't waste your time and energy staying with someone …
/r/RedPillWomen23/11/17 01:04 AM
2

In general, I note down gift ideas (either on my phone or planner) throughout the year by noticing what people say they wish they have, or what they obviously lack (easy to tell if you live with them or frequently hang out where they live). I start looking around for said gifts far in advance (such as during July haha), so I have plenty of time to find/order/commission the best version of the type of gift I'm looking for. What sort of gifts does your man enjoy? I give him gifts throughout the ye…
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/17 12:25 AM
1

a tight lipped BFF is worth their weight in gold. Definitely! More than gold, IMO. They're the unicorns of the "friends" category. so that my SO gets the calm & collected me. :) He's lucky. My husband doesn't get this luxury lol He gets all of me unfiltered, but he constantly reassures me that's what he prefers. I drove all my exes batshit without filtering myself.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/17 08:23 PM
3

That is true, but mainly for obviously dysfunctional relationships. For a well-vetted relationship between two people who are compatible, you could still have minor issues that an outsider might not be able to grasp in the correct context. I'm also of the opinion that if you (general "you") can't communicate well enough to settle minor issues with your partner without involving someone else, then you're building a relationship on shaky foundation (serious communication problems). This reminds me…
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/17 07:25 PM
9

I married my best friend, so I talk to him, about himself. If I have any reason to badmouth, he'll hear all of it firsthand! want an outside perspective? Outside perspectives don't see the whole picture, because they're only seeing it from your point of view (and just by the way you tell it). They can't read your partner's mind, and can only guess his intentions.
/r/RedPillWomen20/11/17 07:49 AM
2

wouldn't any woman prefer long-term loyalty over a few occasional gifts? Without loyalty, there's no point having a monogamous relationship, so it's not something I'd consider as "showing love".
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/17 12:08 PM
12

I am very distrustful Trusting someone is ultimately about trusting your own ability to vet someone and a little leap of faith, but this leap of faith shouldn't factor for more than 5% of your decision to trust. If you're not a good judge of character, then work on that first, before dating. being introverted If you make more effort to be social, you (as an obviously intelligent woman) will notice that people are generally predictable to a certain extent, and most conform to specific patterns of…
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/17 05:33 PM
6

IMO, this is an overcomplicated take on something much more simple: What men want in a woman: Hot --- in other words: best of health, so you look good no matter your age, or your natural shape and proportions. Fun --- not just being interesting/funny/charming, but also knowing how to avoid problems in the first place, so there's more "fun" and less "problems to solve". Fun can also mean giving him more options in life (to open more metaphorical "doors" for him, or support him in a way where he s…
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/17 05:12 PM
35

men are the pursuers and women are the pursued. Men are overt and women are covert. Men are aggressive and women are passive Following this advice/thinking does not benefit women who are looking for the best (compatible, high quality) partner she could find. Waiting around passively like a princess on a high balcony is how women end up with "Mr. Good Enough" and then get frustrated after a few years, and then perpetuates what TRP claims all women do: branch swing. Isn't it ironic, when that's th…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/17 04:34 AM
6

If both you and your partner lead separate busy lives for more than half of your every day, there's almost no chance of boredom in your relationship, unless there's some kind of incompatibility (worldview, goals, conflicting interests, communication difficulties, etc). But I'm only speaking from my own experience, so I don't know if this is useful at all :p He appreciates my spontaneity and goofiness, and I just want to make sure I keep it in high supply, haha. This almost sounds like a chore to…
/r/RedPillWomen06/11/17 12:45 PM
2

SJWs rarely question their own beliefs. If you want to change someone's worldview (SJW or otherwise), you're more likely to achieve that by asking questions. The important thing is to ask with genuine curiosity, and not interrogate them lol If what you personally believe is true/correct/realistic, then it will be able to stand on its own merit when questioned, too. Questioning might also help you learn something new, since we must always challenge our own views to improve or adapt.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/17 05:12 AM
5

Working a checklist though just doesn't seem like it ever works for people though. The way I interpret it, it's more about having a "relationship condition/situation" to strive for, instead of a checklist. Basically this part: what is important to be in a situation where there will be more good years than bad and be able to survive for the long term. If someone is with you for "What You Are", then what happens when that changes? Anyone in a relationship longer than 10 years will experience major…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 12:30 PM
6

a bit awkward there's nothing really romantic That's me, guilty as charged :p I'm awkward even when trying to express my thoughts in text, despite the luxury of backspacing and edits! Overall, what I was trying to say is: vet from the get-go (from the initial flirting onwards), to get someone who's actually compatible, instead of only finding out the fact sometime later. My clumsily-expressed examples were only intended to support my claim of: "You can display independence and be overt while rem…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 12:00 PM
5

Those who would miss it are those who aren't coffee enthusiasts, which is my way of vetting such people out. I think I should've started my post talking about using the flirting process to vet, instead of saying that as my closing statement.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 11:14 AM
8

There's "high value man", and there's "a man who has too many options because every woman's eyes light up when he walks in the room". What I meant by "most women would consider a good catch" is someone who is a natural charmer, who is often perceived as "a good catch", which gives him plenty of options when it comes to women. I'm just referring to perceived value, and the need to compete with other women to catch his attention, because I'm assuming this "approaching" advice is between strangers.…
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/17 11:06 AM
5

it's solipsistic of me to not allow him to look at his "other options" (as in finding a girl who loves and respects him) and then not returning to be his girlfriend if he realizes he doesn't want to be with her Yeah, this guy is definitely not worth it. I forgot to elaborate something I said: For men, your personal history during the time they personally know you, matters a lot, and is a permanent record in their mind. This is not a bad thing, btw. It means everything you do that has a positive …
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/17 04:08 AM
6

I promise I'm not a ditz As someone who follows you around to upvote your posts, I know :p And I wasn't calling you one. I'm just saying OP's post reads like a Cosmo article. Honestly, they are natural reactions when you are interested in someone. I don't doubt it, but I also don't think it's particularly good advice to say that's the best way to attract the attention of a guy most women would consider a good catch, because most women behave that way around him.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/17 03:50 AM
3

done without coming accross like a ditzy girl From OP: Turn toward him, displaying open body posture. Laugh at lot. Play with your hair. The only mental image I'm getting is someone doing a streetwalker stance, going "eheh heheh hehe haha" while twirling her hair.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/17 12:59 AM
1

the damage is done For men, your personal history during the time they personally know you, matters a lot, and is a permanent record in their mind. They may forgive you, but they rarely forget. If you've changed a lot (happens to all of us), it's better to start over in a new relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 11:19 PM
19

For first impressions, when the goal is a romantic relationship, it's also very important to not censor the real you just to present yourself as some ditzy damsel, if you're not one. If this "bad excuse" approach/strategy isn't aligned with a woman's actual personality, she's unlikely to attract a man who is compatible with her, even if it works to attract the generic guy. Making bad excuses to get time alone with a man who gets turned off by people imposing on their time, will never lead to fli…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 10:53 PM
2

I am trying to step back so that he has more room to be responsible for himself and develop leadership skills. Leadership skills include delegating tasks to the person who could do it best. I have decided not to cash them anymore so that he can learn to take more responsibility for himself You need to at least clearly communicate your intention when you do this, because using hints on men are like using water to wet ducks :p I'm not sure if I am approaching the situation in the right way I can't…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 09:40 PM
11

The logical thing is to discuss this in advance, before moving in together. Discussing this also helps establish better communication with your partner, instead of just assuming what the socially-established "ideal" is, or whatever's dictated by supposed "gender roles". What about your own relationship? We focus on completing the tasks, not roles. Whoever can perform the task best, in the least amount of time, would do it. Time-wise, we split tasks approximately 50/50.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/17 09:45 PM
3

have hired someone to take the light fixture down lol Might as well have hired someone to put it up in the first place. But then if they were able to think that far ahead to consider the range of outcomes before taking any action, they wouldn't have let relationship issues fester to the point that it manifests in fights over petty grievances.
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/17 09:24 PM
2

Thoughts? I can't use this advice, because my husband isn't my caretaker nor my surrogate dad. My "knight in shining armor" 's main gallant duty is bloodying his "sword" monthly, because it eases the cramps for me. If I forgot to bring my wallet to ALDI's, my husband would wonder if I'm broken :p His first words at the checkout would be "Are you sure you're ok?" with great worry on his face. I'm a methodical planner. I catalog everything and I err on the side of overstocking. Unscheduled cooking…
/r/RedPillWomen31/10/17 09:08 PM
2

Some people simply don't value loyalty in itself, and such people are usually the thrill-seeking types, always looking for new and exciting experiences. If you're not constantly reinventing yourself (new looks, new preferences, new sex ideas/poly partners, new recipes in your kitchen, etc), they will quickly get restless in a monogamous relationship. Such people also rarely know what they really want in life, which is what drives their constant craving for different experiences, and for variety …
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 12:19 PM
3

You're too kind. I think my response would be best shared without credit to me, because in my experience, my opinions regarding this topic is rarely well-received, especially in RP spaces. I'm not sure if it's my lousy choice of words, or if my views are simply not "RP/RPW". I actually expected you to reply with counterpoints, and I was all coffee'd-up for a debate :p Controversial opinions are often better received when reworded by someone more experienced and more articulate, such as yourself.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 10:58 AM
5

I probably should elaborate on what I meant about options (sorry). Just a few examples: Women didn't use to have access to higher education, international job opportunities, and financial independence. Women used to marry who their family decided they should marry (and men needed approval from family). Women were not encouraged to enjoy "masculine interests", and not even allowed to spend any length of time with male friends. In "traditional" society, women had little control when it came to vet…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 05:14 AM
1

Are we assuming that every successful relationship involves two people with no problems whatsoever? I said strive to either improve, or compensate for it. My interpretation of "tolerate" is for something you dislike and don't accept. Most people have flaws that their partners accept (not needing to "tolerate", because they don't actively dislike it). Should i expect my partner to nor make so much noise while chewing food because that's something that he should have resolved beforehand? If my par…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 03:15 AM
2

So if you want somebody to tolerate your issues Nobody is obligated to tolerate something you (general "you") know is an issue, and you don't try to fix it (for something within your control), nor compensate for it (for something beyond your control). if your partner is too sure about your loyalty, then there's no reason for him to make an effort Only if said partner is an unappreciative entitled slob. you are lowering your market value by making him think you have no other options If you've mad…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 01:45 AM
3

One of the core tenets of RPW is to vet for a good partner who is worthy to submit to. If we degenerated back to the "traditional" ways like back in my grandma's time, women have very few options to vet for a quality husband. I take action by not supporting the present version of feminism, but I will always support women (and men) being given options. Back when my age was still in single digits, feminism used to be about giving women options. Feminism was not about hating masculinity, and not ab…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/17 12:24 AM
23

He was never much of a complimenter or all that affectionate, but that was okay because I didn't need it all the time and it's just simply not who he is. I initiated sex almost every time and he's never had to ask for a blowjob. When there is interest from a man who isn't the affectionate complimenting type, he will initiate sex often, or at least be assertive about his sexual needs. He'll go out of his way to be generous and attentive to your needs, too. My sex drive is higher A libido mismatch…
/r/RedPillWomen27/10/17 10:42 PM
2

Any more choices than that, they become difficult and obnoxious Haha I strongly relate with this! :( I often need to handle contract negotiations, and it's always best to keep it as brief and as focused as possible, otherwise it becomes a circus of meetings and miscommunications. Everything you've said is spot on.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/17 10:58 PM
3

a virgin woman who only has one partner may feel that she missed out and be likely to have wandering eyes. Yeah exactly lol I imagine she would only be satisfied if she was either very sheltered, very pious, or raised very religious, to the point where it's so much a part of her life-perception, that wandering would never cross her mind as an option. Or she simply has low self esteem. The perception of options is key here, I think. Ignorance can also be bliss, but I imagine it's difficult in thi…
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/17 09:54 PM
1

Make my own money. Recognize that time = money. Know what I want (love/life/goals/values). Be attractive and fun. Attract a quality man who is compatible. Spend money on each other. Profit!
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/17 12:49 AM
8

Worn-out casual clothes, especially ratty comfy favorites that I can't bear to part with. If they have holes, I mend them as best as I can. I don't own any tshirts anymore, as I don't find them comfortable around the neck area. I haven't worn one since the 90s, I think. I particularly like tank tops, skirts, and casual dresses. I exercise at home in my underwear, because I hate sweaty clothes and doing extra for laundry. No makeup indoors, ever. My husband says he likes seeing my "real skin", sc…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/17 04:26 PM
0

I think the difference between us/our views, is that you still have your sense of romance, while I don't lol I think it's either a matter of semantics, or the fact that I've known my husband since high school (literally "best friends forever", I suppose!), or a combination of both. Faith just doesn't come into play, after we've seen each other change and grow through all that time. We can more or less predict each other, so it's mostly all a matter of fact (not faith). My interpretation of "fait…
/r/RedPillWomen24/10/17 12:05 AM
1

I think the credit is due Isn't that gratitude, and not faith? I don't disagree with your premise, I'm just saying depending on how you word it, "declaration of faith" is not any better than "declaration of expectations". According to guys I'm friends with, this is the main reason why guys don't want to talk to their women about their problems. Women just heap expectations on them, and when they know they can't meet those expectations (especially for reasons out of their control), they know they…
/r/RedPillWomen23/10/17 01:47 PM
10

I think it's more important to make sure my husband knows that I won't condemn him for failures, instead of put him on a pedestal of faith, aka: idealistic expectations. If he makes a mistake and can't find a solution himself, I want him to feel confident of my unconditional support (not faith). I want him to feel welcome to talk to me about anything openly, without feeling vulnerable doing so. This is something we mutually provide for each other. I think the best kind of faith comes from within…
/r/RedPillWomen22/10/17 09:26 PM
2

Compile a photo/pic collage of all the memorable fun things we've done together since his previous birthday. He collects these collages in a photobook-style photo album, adding a new collage in it every year. Every day is his birthday, as far as I'm concerned. Cake is optional :p
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/17 06:34 PM
4

Yes! For specific gifts, products are not always guaranteed to be in stock/etc, and sometimes it's just easier to get something else. It's good to be able to openly discuss this with the person you're buying it for, instead of doing an epic rom-com gift-acquiring scene. I think the best "gift from the heart" is someone making time for you ❤
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 06:12 PM
20

For a wrong gift that was something I requested, I'd take the responsibility for it by saying it's my fault for not showing examples (like pictures and such) and be more clear about differences between similar items. My husband and I shop for each other's gifts together, because we tend to get the wrong items otherwise lol
/r/RedPillWomen19/10/17 05:49 PM
3

For example, this evening he asked me where something was. When I responded that I wasn't sure He's likely asking you for information he could work with, such as where you last saw it, or where he should look because it would most likely be there. He likely got more stressed out when the answer was "not sure" which is useless to him. If I respond jokingly (I called him a squirrel because he stashes things away and forgets where they are) he isn't amused. "Jokingly" is a good approach to ease ten…
/r/RedPillWomen18/10/17 11:25 PM
1

You reacted emotionally From my perspective, you are too. Because I never said "these discussions should not be had, or can't be had", I said to see the broader picture, and for less .. hatred in tone. because it bothered you Hmm.. did it? My husband wasn't "the marrying type", but he changed his mind because he knows I have empathy for his views and beliefs. Me, I married for family. Family isn't just about making children. But according to you, I "cannot be objective and philosophical about th…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/17 07:37 PM
1

I'm really not sure how you came to that conclusion based on my comment I think it's the choice of words, because I normally agree with things you post, including most of your reply. The way you dragged the "class" factor (inferior/superior mindset) into the topic of family/children sounds like a caricature of a conservative, which I can't help but criticize. You went pretty far off on several tangents in your reply, so I'm not sure what kind of response you're expecting from me lol I could resp…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/17 06:16 PM
1

It does...concern me when I see the 'only chumps marry' idea. It speaks to a poverty (social class) mindset. All the most respected and powerful families throughout history understood the importance of legacy and lineage. I wouldn't dismiss the merit of prioritizing personal happiness and fulfilment in other areas that have nothing to do with breeding. Something as simple as saving a life, metaphorically or literally, leaves a legacy too. You can also leave a legacy by facilitating social/cultur…
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/17 09:02 AM
3

I totally understand, which was why I didn't respond to your post directly, as it's not my intention to pick on what you personally said. It did remind me of how often I've heard it said, in general, as a reason to stay with someone. Sorry I'm not very articulate! Framing things in the right context is something I'm working to improve on.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 08:47 PM
4

I think other than vetting for the fundamentals of a decent human being who is a functional adult seeking a committed relationship, vetting for long term or lifetime compatibility is unique to the individual/specific relationship. What worked for me might not be very useful for someone else with different needs and priorities. I mean, if I said "when there's actual compatibility, the relationship is NOT hard work, nor any work at all, because everything just works out, like you're made for each …
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 07:09 PM
2

I agree the article is interesting, so thanks for sharing it :) I agree that statistics and generalizations are useful, just like how RP is about generalizations. However, if you're aiming for an exceptional husband (the goal of an RPW, because we strive to be exceptional partners ourselves), he's unlikely to conform to statistics and generalizations. So whether it actually helps with vetting is rather questionable. From my point of view, it could likely over-eliminate potential partners. My hus…
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/17 04:04 AM
3

Yep. The thread title made me curious, but didn't deliver :p
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 03:37 PM
4

Men who look at marriage as a financial arrangement in which women have the most to gain just realism. Depends on your life-goals. My RP-aware husband chose a wife who earns more, and who doesn't want children. Marriage benefits are quite mutual for us.
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 03:52 AM
23

Nutshell from long article for easy reference: Most men will not even consider marriage before they reach the age of commitment. For 80 percent of high school graduates, the minimum age of commitment is 23, whereas for 80 percent of college graduates, it’s 26. The high-commitment period for most college-educated men is from ages 28 to 33. For men who go to graduate school-doctors, lawyers, and the like-the high-commitment period runs from 30 to 36. After age 37 or 38, the chance that a man will …
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/17 03:34 AM
2

Ah, sorry I misunderstood. I got that impression from: We don't speak as often, he lashes out, and talks about wanting something more open in the long term. ^ Following the descriptions of value. I had an open relationship before and it ended just as expected, so i don't feel good about it. Me too, with an ex, but we weren't monogamous from the start. I learnt that it doesn't matter if you don't feel jealousy, because there's a high chance the other partner(s) will feel jealous and cause trouble…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 10:03 AM
12

But he's right in taking me for granted In a relationship, taking your partner for granted is something I consider intolerable and inexcusable, but this is just my opinion. I can't negotiate if he knows i won't leave Why won't you leave? You say you're a 7 in looks. 7 is hot enough to get any guy you want, if you combine that with irresistible charm. I wouldn't stay with a guy who goes out of his way to convince me I'm "inferior", but that's just me. He still says nice things to me, and talks ab…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 08:01 AM
15

he showed a lot of interest at the beginning of the relationship, he wanted a housewife and had no problem with me wanting a monogamous relationship. Now that he got a big promotion, and he's going to make six figures in the near future i'm not as valuable or rare, since it's easier for him to find a woman to settle down now that he's higher value He sounds like a man who takes you for granted, and whose words you can't rely on.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 07:30 AM
9

Overall, the entire article is a lot of self-indulgent blather about something the author completely misunderstood. Almost as troubling is that Red Pill Women are the ones who love Red Pill Men, whom you might describe as a mix between men’s rights activists and pickup artists; men who feel that they’ve lost everything at the expense of feminism; men who are looking for a deferential right-hand gal who knows how to hold down the fort while they go out hunting. I love how she assumes that RPW don…
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/17 06:21 AM
2

Wait, it isn’t about absolutes but about hard truths, isn’t this contradicting? "Hard truths" that apply to the majority aren't absolutes because it doesn't apply to the minority. For example: AWALT. RPW recognizes AWALT as the base nature of women (a "hard truth") and strives to rise above those base impulses by consciously mastering them, and not act on them. But RPW aren't the majority. I'm aware I'm not very articulate, so I hope I'm not being confusing lol
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/17 04:22 PM
1

I meant the skeptics community in general, that’s why I didn’t say this sub. This is a sub area of that community. The point of my post is to be lax on these blue pilled women. What I don't follow is the point you're trying to make with this post in this sub. Your message would be clearer if your points were more cohesive. What does it mean to you to be blue leaning or red pilled? I'm not a trad-con, basically :p To me it just means seeing the truths of culture, psychology, politics, sociology, …
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/17 04:01 PM
2

People are likely to do what they see others do. So be more visible, as an example. There's all kinds of ways to get your message across to the masses with social media. Many people in the sketics community are quick to hate on the average woman I've not seen any hating on any women in this sub. RPW isn't a club. I'm pretty blue-leaning, actually. I just hang out here to escape the echo chambers in other subs.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/17 03:06 AM
9

"Society" doesn't owe anybody anything, and "blaming society" is meaningless, not to mention avoiding accountability. We are all part of "society", and you should be the change you want to see. If you (general "you") are not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/17 02:36 AM
1

What I was getting at is that for many feelers, having to engage in feelings of themselves or others becomes like work. It's not relaxing. With an empathetic woman, she'll pick up on his need for emotional time-out and not burden him further. It'd be work and sex, but sex would be a release with plenty of passion. I find it very difficult to imagine mutual passion without mutual empathy. If there's no mutual passion, then wouldn't that make sex feel like a half-deflated balloon animal? With sexu…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/17 04:48 AM
1

I apologize I can't think of any vetting differences for a lifetime-long relationship vs marriage. My LTRs tend to fall apart after 6 or 7 years, and I've always been glad to have decided not to marry any of my exes, but that's just me.
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/17 09:16 PM
3

have a hard time accepting that your value as a woman is merely as a sex object. Even as a sex object, if I can't provide better sex than a robot made within my lifetime, then I'm already a failure. They don't have minds of their own! Not yet, not within our lifetime, perhaps. But there's already AI that can "learn" through experience. But that wasn't my point. If Terminators ever get made, it would be made intentionally by human beings. An easy way to assassinate a man would be when his pants a…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/17 09:00 PM
13

Examine and discuss the reasons why you want to marry, first. If discussing this makes either of you feel uncomfortable/awkward, or if you'd rather avoid any lengthy conversation about marriage/children/deaths/risks, don't marry, imo :p For me, marriage has nothing to do with romantic notions. It's a social statement of commitment, it allows us to be recognized by the law as a family unit, and it is a lifetime promise of partnership we make to each other that is tangible. If marriage is "just a …
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/17 08:39 PM
1

If a guy is highly empathetic he may find himself needing a non empathetic woman, a cold thinker, to help be his escape from feelings even. It sounds like you're equating "empathy" with being emotional. I think there's a difference. Empathy allows you to feel someone else's emotions, but you can partition those emotions off from your own (re: the Sadist). In that case, the highly empathetic man wouldn't need a cold woman to escape from feelings. Or if a guy wants a woman that's all business and …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/17 12:07 PM
1

It's mighty delicious. Yes. So are you agreeing that empathy isn't less valuable in any context? :p How do you reconcile that with most women being highly solipsistic? Doesn't that make them likely to not empathize, especially if they don't have direct experience to use to relate with, nor have anyone they care about to relate through? I'd say most people, regardless of gender, can be quite solipsistic. Perhaps it only seems to be a "women" thing because women are more vocal about it, or cringey…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/17 10:13 PM
1

If you're gonna rob a bank or cook up some wax, a good woman of empathy is far less useful or valuable. Sociopaths can be capable of empathy, they just have no sympathy. Sadists use empathy to fully enjoy the extent of another person's suffering. People with aspergers are unable (not unwilling) to empathize because of their disability. They can learn how to show empathy, but rarely understand enough to feel actual empathy, and that does not make them any less capable of morality. Chronic solipsi…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/17 08:21 PM
3

Normal, healthy women, do and must care about the opinion of their main social groups. Then I'm not normal nor healthy :p I think it's unhealthy to care so much about the opinions of others to the point where you live your life only to gain approval from others. Group think, need to belong, how they form identities, appealing to authority, all contribute. No need. If it doesn't fit, move on. If you can't find a fit, start your own group by finding the individuals. Why couldn't some strippers pro…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/17 05:15 PM
3

Women, when it comes to men, have one primary goal in American society, getting a man she and her social group finds valuable to commit and offer marriage to her. Preferably trying to get the one with the highest status to her group as possible. The main difference causing this is women adhering to what their social group finds valuable, while men do not. The basic premise of your hypothesis assumes all women are slaves to the opinions of their social group. What exactly is it that makes any one…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/17 04:52 PM
2

Much food for thought here, thank you! From my personal experience, your points are all so spot on. I work in a male-dominated field full time, love my job, and I have mainly "masculine" hobbies/interests, resulting in no female social circle. What a blessing, really. The only time I get asked about my marriage is at family gatherings, and I've always wondered why the women had some kind of stick up their asses when I admitted I earn more than my husband and it's not a problem for either of us. …
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/17 03:54 PM
7

I agree with what you said except this part: It will further diminish the sexual value of women as a whole. If you're saying most women's sexual value could be threatened by sex-bots, then most women already have no sexual value to begin with, which fully justifies men opting out. There's no conflict nor competition, other than knee-jerk fear and indignation from human beings who already don't provide sexual value in a relationship. I'll fear sex-bots when they somehow go full Terminator.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/17 07:56 AM
3

Oh I didn't do anything. Thank you for your efforts writing RPW content.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/17 06:25 PM
3

There's nothing wrong with questioning the accuracy or merit of the content of a post. But what you're doing is questioning why u/loneliness-inc is not writing posts in a manner that you see fit : What I question is the purpose of a 5 plus paragraph of different areas of a value? If the author's purpose is education and community building, I would suggest breaking out each nugget into a single post. If the author believes that all their paragraphs and thoughts work together in a long thought pie…
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/17 05:12 PM
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My husband and I do a "check-in" type of ritual at the end of every day, where we talk about what we've done that day, and what our upcoming plans are, and discuss stuff that needs to be done. Keeping each other fully in the loop is one of the things we enjoy bonding over, but it also sounds very utilitarian when put into words, I think. I'd rather have a stronger will to do things A stronger will could be a double-edged sword at times, in my experience anyway. None of my exes liked my "strong w…
/r/RedPillWomen02/10/17 10:09 PM
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Not in my experience. Maybe I'm simply not a romantic :p Mutual expectations are always discussed in advance, before any commitment or decisions are made, and there's always mutual initiative to meet those expectations. I think the only exception is during sex, because variety is very important for both of us. I'm not sure if this counts? My husband verbally guides and encourages me to do things that would please him most, at any particular moment. If I have ideas of my own, I will mention them …
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/17 08:15 PM
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Most people who are abusive do not think of themselves as abusive, either because: they are unable or unwilling to empathize, either thinking they "know what's best" for someone else, or simply lacking enough intellect to understand a different point of view they degenerate to their base male/female nature mindlessly, without considering any consequences they hate themselves, so they project it on others to have an external "target" for that hatred. They "feel good" when they feel superior after…
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/17 07:32 PM
6

An adult who said something offensive isn't "a hysterically-screaming woman".
/r/RedPillWomen01/10/17 05:49 AM
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What's usually the reasoning? Potential for addiction, reduced attraction to partner because porn causes "unrealistic" expectations, partner can't compete with the instant gratification porn provides (loss of interest in romance and foreplay because it's more effort compared to porn), temptation .. stuff like that. Amusingly, my most controversial comment here so far is saying clear good communication is more important in a relationship/marriage, than assuming gender roles.. :p So please take my…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/17 09:35 PM
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I'd have no issues with it. However, I'm also of the opinion that there's nothing wrong with indulging in porn. This opinion is controversial in this sub.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/17 09:12 PM
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It's just my personal opinion, and I definitely cannot speak for others here. I'm pretty new to this sub myself, and so far it's a good read. Welcome :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/17 09:05 PM
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Productive physical violence like taking it out on a punching bag at the gym is a good way to blow off stress, while punching walls just means they have self-control problems (destroying property just because of "feels"). I refuse to submit to a man who can't control himself. but in a LTR nothing is perfect and mistakes and episodes happen Accidentally slapping your sleeping spouse while you're having a nightmare is "not perfect" and "a mistake". Slapping an adult just because they said somethin…
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/17 08:31 PM
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"Not in the mood" would be considered a serious issue that needs discussion, in my marriage. So I don't think the question applies, unless I'm sick with something germy and contagious. If my husband bought a sex doll to use, I'd want to watch :p We'd probably have a good laugh and enjoy it together. Sex dolls are no different from any other sex toy.
/r/RedPillWomen30/09/17 08:10 PM
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Preventing or managing conflicts keep things running smoothly (a utilitarian outcome), and isn't anything to do with happiness (an emotion). Happiness is an emotional side effect, yes. IMO happiness isn't really the point of life Hmmm.. my opinion is, again, "Yes, and no." lol But perhaps some other time, or a different thread. but I'm about to go down a rabbit hole here. It's ok, I take full responsibility for starting the rabbit hole by initiating this exchange in the first place :p
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/17 10:59 PM
3

That's true that she won't be aiming for he average guy. But it's the same that many RP men won't be aiming for the average girl. Yep. This has been something that fascinated me for awhile, because it's just so much at odds with the guidelines for each side lol If I was single and looking, I'd be very confused. It used to be that most people were "red pilled" (Probably like 97% I'd say I actually grew up in such an environment (religious community), where it seems like 90+% people were into trad…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/17 09:14 PM
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It used to be that the assumptions were very clear, so it was an efficient system. I see RP as a general guideline that only applies to the majority (60% is also considered a majority). The system didn't last because of the minority who were miserable conforming. I'm not saying the system doesn't work. I also have no issue with gender roles. However, for an RPW going for "a quality man worth marrying", she'll have to keep in mind that such a man is not going to be the average guy. I think this i…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/17 08:13 PM
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Redpill is great for learning how to bridge gender differences and communicate better. However, there's a lot of assuming when it comes to "gender roles". Assuming without proper communication is putting the cart before the horse, imo.
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/17 07:56 PM
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Gender roles can help you bring harmony into your home. Yes, and no. Good communication, trust, loyalty, empathy, compassion, patience, and gratitude are all needed for a solid foundation to build a relationship on. ^ Without this foundation, that's when everything really falls apart. Gender roles are simply.. a side effect. It's something that an outsider will see when they look in on your relationship. They will nod their heads and say "see, traditional gender roles guarantee a harmonious marr…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/17 05:31 PM
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From what I've seen, you have the patience of a saint :p People seem to get very upset when reminded about the ugly side of human nature, and automatically jump to the conclusion that talking about it condones it, rather than the intention to learn about it, in order to overcome it. There's a study about increased heart rate reducing comprehension ability in humans, but I can't seem to find it again. I'll link if I come across it later.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/17 09:21 PM
2

This is such a well-articulated summary of the fundamentals of RP/RPW, and somehow (at the time I'm seeing this post) it's getting downvotes? lol I think this summary should be the kind of information in the sidebar, so there's less confusion about what this sub is about.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/17 07:43 PM
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Both my husband and I are non-drinkers, and I have nothing good to say about alcohol as far as health is concerned, so I completely agree on the "poison" part :p However, what I meant is using alcohol as an excuse ("But I was drunk!"), to avoid being held responsible. Just my opinion: whatever a person does when they have low inhibitions says a lot about what kind of person they really are. Blaming porn is often the same excuse a person uses to avoid responsibility. The issue with the articles y…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/17 02:16 PM
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Addiction to porn is a symptom of a problem: either a personal issue, or a relationship issue, or both. Blaming porn is like blaming alcohol for making shitty people do shitty things. Alcohol simply lowers a person's inhibitions, it doesn't make a good person suddenly turn "bad". Here's a recently published research by Mormons, regarding porn addiction If you are religious, you probably shouldn’t watch porn. It is likely to lead to you feeling that you’re addicted, and then developing shame arou…
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/17 04:40 AM
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especially for teenage boys My statement applies to a marriage/LTR between grown adults. I'm not sure how teenage boys are applicable in this context. It seems to me that masturbation and some level of porn per couple is ok but I am very leery of consistent use of internet pornography, especially with young boys to raise. I fully agree with the need for a healthy balance, moderation, and self-control/discipline.
/r/RedPillWomen28/09/17 04:37 AM
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Succinct, and well said! Porn is a safe outlet for monogamous men to indulge their natural urges. I've always considered this a healthy compromise. Yet many women either disapprove of, or outright forbid, their men to enjoy porn.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/17 01:18 AM
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I handle my own "worst"s and spare my husband from them. Diarrhea is a good analogy: My husband can smell it, and he might need to go out and buy me charcoal tablets or bring me new tissue rolls, but I will never expect him to clean me up or even have to see it. I take care of my own shit.
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/17 06:41 PM
1

Filtering for communication skills, mostly. For anything beyond 2 years, if you suck at reading each other accurately, it's just going to be a melodramatic mess of constant misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 10:54 PM
2

People with shitty communication skills aren't worth getting in a serious relationship with. Women are better off knowing how to signal their interest to men they find attractive. Men are better off knowing how to read verbal and non-verbal cues. For passing flings, anything goes, I suppose.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/17 10:25 PM
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what are your thoughts on The Bowel Movement? It's important for people who take it up the ass, of course.
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/17 02:32 PM
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Not sure if this fits with the topic, but I always hurt my face laughing over this cake: http://i.imgur.com/KcSytgT.png
/r/RedPillWomen21/09/17 02:12 AM
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It's like people are so hungry for validation that they'd even call personal relationship preferences a "movement" now.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/17 11:08 PM
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Glad to help :D I realized I forgot to mention it's also important spending time apart pursuing separate passions. In my case: busy with our separate careers. This keeps things fresh and varied for the time we spend together. But like all things, there needs to be a balance, otherwise you could easily drift apart as your interests diverge.
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/17 10:58 PM
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Make time for each other, at least a few hours every day. This can be anything from having passionate sex, to simply putting everything aside to enjoy a cup of coffee together in the kitchen to talk about nonsense. It's less about what you do together, but more about mutual pleasure in each other's company. Constant sincere expressions of gratitude. It doesn't need to be for specific things, "thank you for being you" works just as well. It needs to be sincere and not said like it was a chore. So…
/r/RedPillWomen20/09/17 02:13 AM
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I think there's a vast difference in strategy for attracting the average man (by being the damsel) and attracting a quality man. Quality men want capable women, not damsels. making yourself physically below them to trigger that protective instinct It's more about knowing how to "lift" him up. It's not about lowering myself. There's something in men that I am starting to understand that's a hero complex. I think it's less about being a hero, and more about having a healthy self esteem. Men want t…
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/17 07:50 PM
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