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elegance_ Archive

View 3 posts and 101 comments by elegance_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

I feel like this comment does say a lot about the relationship between (negative) family dynamics and unconsciously setting the bar low because of those dynamics that were inherently part of your childhood. It gives one something to think about. I agree, one of the best comments on the sub.
/r/RedPillWives26/08/16 08:05 AM
3

Yes, many people comment on that. I do get along with men really well because of this. My guess would be that they consider you to be 'one of the guys' and maybe even an example because you exhibit ambition and discpline. As such, the more generic RP dynamic gets a bit lost on you. Taking into account your personality, you should either look for the HHH combo, as you deducted rightly, OR work hard on changing parts of your personality that will allow you to have a larger pool in which to find a …
/r/RedPillWives19/08/16 01:09 PM
3

I always end up feeling like the "dominant" personality in every situation, even when I try not to, and I really want to have a more submissive balance. You do come across as somebody who knows what she wants and is very driven. Do other people IRL sometimes comment on that? I must admit that to me, even from reading very few posts, you give off an ambitious no-nonsense attitude that is more common in men. This might be an interesting read for you Maybe I'm just not around the right crowds - mos…
/r/RedPillWives19/08/16 12:22 PM
3

Good post. Which is why I always mention that my opinion is based upon personal experience and may possibly not apply to OP's situation. I'd like to think we assess any given situation (in our own lives or posted on the subreddit) the best we can by looking at it from multiple perspectives within a RPWi spectrum.
/r/RedPillWives18/08/16 03:52 PM
3

Good I signed up for a 90 days challenge to set up good and sustainable habits. (Conscious self-improvement, yay!) Bad I should be more active instead of reactive. I feel like I can turn this around, though, by focusing on creative activities and reading up on my current interests so I can be more vocal about them. Ugly I think the above can very quickly become ugly. I sometimes feel as if I'm ... boring? Nobody has commented on it, yet, but it crosses my mind from time to time. Summer food/drin…
/r/RedPillWives16/08/16 10:16 AM
3

And I'm scared he'll find someone else more exciting/attractive/attentive/fun/whatever and decide he's had enough of me. He doesn't think any of that will happen, and has told me several times that "This is life, babe, we will make time for one another no matter what and we will be great." A friendly reminder that, on top of that, you two will be MARRIED IN FIVE WEEKS! :-D
/r/RedPillWives16/08/16 09:59 AM
4

My SO also didn't ask for any details, but I'm guessing in my case the mere thought of knowing the information is available to him is somewhat soothing. And, for me, it honestly feels so good to be trusted like that. Does he mean 'dealing with it' as in dealing with his emotional response to it? I think if I were in the situation, at that point I'd help him relax a little by commenting on how good I feel in the relationship and maybe initiate some sexy time, if he's open to it at the time. I'd j…
/r/RedPillWives16/08/16 08:20 AM
6

I've been in a somewhat similar situation, except that I didn't have to deal with the person in formal settings. I can only offer how I reacted to the following: I was approached by an ex who wanted to re-establish contact after years. I wasn't interested in reconnecting AT ALL. (The idea of staying in touch with exes when you're in a LTR is totally unappealing.) Knowing that it would very probably make my SO uncomfortable, I decided to tell him in a non-emotional way what had happened, includin…
/r/RedPillWives16/08/16 08:05 AM
2

I got a little heart :-oo0000
/r/RedPillWives11/08/16 08:34 AM
2

Some highlights of the past week ... Good I was feeling a bit down and irritable during sharkweek, but tried keeping the tone light at all times. I messed up a few times (getting bossy and pedantic, blergh) and felt really bad about it, so I straightforward told my SO that I was having a rough time and that I was sorry about my behaviour. SO and I proceeded to have a conversation about dealbreakers. He literally mentioned he expects me to respect him at all times, and also told me that he hasn't…
/r/RedPillWives11/08/16 08:31 AM
1

This may sound weird, but I am easily intimidated by people who dress well. Instead of fretting about it, I'd like to get a better sense of style and of what looks good on me. I know it would be an incredible boost to my self-esteem! My SO is actually of great help for this. Thanks to him, I already have some pointers. To develop my fashion sense, I monitor people around me and try to judge their outfits. (Asking myself "Why does that dress look good on X?" type of questions) I've challenged mys…
/r/RedPillWives29/07/16 07:24 AM
3

Yes! Any kind of routine helps me pull my thoughts together and sets off a chain of good habits, generally speaking. Let's celebrate our Mondays instead, for they keep us sane 0:-)
/r/RedPillWives27/07/16 05:07 AM
3

Good to hear! Take care.
/r/RedPillWives27/07/16 05:05 AM
5

Good The temperature has become more tolerable and I'm back to my happy, energetic self. I'm super motivated to get things done. Bad Because of the above change, I realized that I had had a few off-days without being aware of it. Ugly Nothing really Bonus Actually, I was grateful to be able to get back to work on Monday? I like structure, routine, interacting with colleagues, ...
/r/RedPillWives26/07/16 06:37 AM
5

Mhm, here's to a speedy recovery! :)
/r/RedPillWives26/07/16 06:28 AM
2

/r/loseit/ /r/xxfitness/ and /r/veganfitness/ /r/ZeroWaste/ and /r/simpleliving/
/r/RedPillWives25/07/16 07:37 AM
6

I remember some of your posts, and although we never really directed comments at each other (I think?), I really do wish you the best! Welcome BellaScarletta! ;-)
/r/RedPillWives20/07/16 06:15 PM
1

I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I've moved from cardio to weight training I'm making the same transition, but still include cardio because I am not at my goal weight yet. How has this change been for you? Did you do cardo --> hit goal weight --> start lifting? (Feel free to PM if you'd like to answer privately instead)
/r/RedPillWives20/07/16 05:37 AM
2

Good I joined the local ladies-only gym and am thrilled to be able to start recomp. I will still have a heavy focus on cardio until I've more or less reached my goal weight, but after that IT'S ON. SO seems proud of my decision. I was also really sociable the past week. I've noticed that, as I grow older, I become less of an introvert! Social outings are less tiresome, I think it's a fantastic occasion to dress up nice and be pleasant around people (especially SO's family) etcetera. Bad The occa…
/r/RedPillWives19/07/16 06:57 AM
1

Thank you very much for that clarification
/r/RedPillWives14/07/16 01:35 PM
1

Things purchased jointly are divided 50-50. Each spouse is also the only one authorized to administer their own money. Both spouses are required to contribute to marriage-related expenses proportionally to their income. Not pertaining to OP's question but: how is this monitored, though? When is something considered 'purchased jointly'?
/r/RedPillWives14/07/16 01:05 PM
4

Basically, it set a cap on how much I would be paid out, in the event of a divorce, instead of a percentage Am I right to interpret that it is the above that has you worrying, together with the fact that you won't be able to have any savings of your own as a SAHM? Have you communicated this particular concern to your SO?
/r/RedPillWives14/07/16 12:45 PM
6

Pasta salads. Wraps might be a good idea too. A fruit bowl afterwards. Though we usually eat whole wheat bread and the regular types of spread.
/r/RedPillWives13/07/16 09:11 AM
5

This writing resonates with me. I can get hyperinvolved in homemaking to the point that my SO notices that all I've been doing is cleaning, rearranging, cooking, some more cleaning, etcetera. Just yesterday, I showed him a few drawings that I'd made and he literally said that he was happy to see me do something other than cleaning. Woops. I have the tendency to push my creative side to the background when I get too involved in the efficient homemaking business - and I know that my creativity is …
/r/RedPillWives06/07/16 08:30 AM
1

Thank you so much for your kind reply
/r/RedPillWives01/07/16 06:46 AM
2

Thank you for your comment and insight. I find it especially useful. Adding some remarks on things that stood out to me: Be mindful not to use your emotional state (or a portrayal of your emotional state) to shit test or manipulate him. In retrospect, I also think I should've saved the tears for a private moment. He always calls me out on my bullshit, though. It helps me snap back into reality. He immediately recognizes when such feelings and behaviour are warranted for and when not. It's one of…
/r/RedPillWives30/06/16 05:41 AM
3

Mhm, if I would pick one thing I've learned from this experience, it would be that. Waiting too long just doesn't do any good. I guess one thing that held me back was the justification and, frankly, also the shame of my distrust.
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 01:11 PM
2

It was my second or third true breakdown and it definitely felt cathartic, but I should learn to be open and communicate my (negative) feelings more often to avoid outbursts like these. And yes, I feel incredibly lucky indeed! And now I'm soooo curious what the proposal will be like :D Me too, LOL. I also jokingly added "AND IT HAS TO BE ROMANTIC. Not an impulsive "Will you marry me?" when I'm busy washing the dishes." No pressure though
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 12:59 PM
1

It's rarely a good thing. True. A previous BF of mine would erase his browsing history because he would visit sites that I wouldn't approve of and were destructive to our relationship. That's why I was up front to my SO about it and asked him why he erases his. I think it's likely a combo of an old habit and a security thing. I can mess with his phone and laptop all I want, so :-)
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 07:11 AM
1

Thank you for sharing your experience. I agree that intention is important. However, I sometimes wonder how much of it is backed up by a more subconscious sort of impulse/instinct. (Not in this particular case here, just in general.)
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 07:07 AM
1

I don't know a lot about the male side of the RP. Could you explain the concept of dread to me? We talked about it yesterday evening. Update to be read here
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 07:05 AM
1

Not sure if it's too personal, but may I ask why it had escalated into a huge fight? Was it because she approached him in a certain way that he didn't like or because there was a serious issue between them? (I've discussed things with my SO without it turning into an argument.)
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 07:03 AM
1

I wasn't aware of that! He is very much into reading articles and blogs, so that's a possibility too. I've written up an update here :)
/r/RedPillWives29/06/16 07:00 AM
3

True! If this turns out to be nothing, I am writing a FR on not making a mountain out of a molehill. LOL. These past few days have been all about STFU'ing, shutting up the hamster and communication in an LTR.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 01:06 PM
2

Me too. Especially when basically nothing has happened and he has been as loving as ever. I will probably update tomorrow, after the talk. Trying to stay calm and focus on work in the meantime.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 12:20 PM
2

Yeah, I definitely don't want to turn it into an inquisition. My instinct is telling me to brace myself, though.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 12:06 PM
1

One of the frequently visited tiles. During the few seconds that I could see the tiles, it appears he visited 4 or 5 websites that day. He usually sets his preferences to automatically erase all browing history upon closing the window ... (Out of curiosity, I have asked him about this in the past and he gave me a rather vague explanation. I didn't think any of it at the time.)
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 12:02 PM
3

It was on his new laptop from work, so it is definitely possible that he didn't have ads blocked at the time. I understand that it could've been accidental, as in your situation. If it was like that, I'd be very relieved. I will ask him about it in a casual manner. Thank you for the advice.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 11:59 AM
1

Thank you for your response. I can relate to your post. I am prone to making up issues in my head, but I haven't in this relationship and I don't plan to. I will talk to him about it.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 11:55 AM
5

Is he familiar with RP or the manosphere? If he is, he hasn't informed me about it. I know that he hasn't seen it on Reddit because he doesn't know what Reddit is. Fretting about it and letting your imagination go wild is not a good idea; I would probably ask about it. Exactly my plan. I'd rather hear it from him. I'm having a hard time remaining calm about this, as I really don't see why he would be visiting such a site, but I am blocking those thoughts until I've talked to him about this.
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 11:52 AM
1

Bad: My anxiety levels are going through the roof and I currently don't feel in a safe place, mentally. I'm trying to focus on self-care, but it is hard since my anxiety is heavily linked to human relationships. I don't want to turn completely inward. Possibly ugly: I found out that my SO has visited OKCupid. It popped up as one of his visited sites on his homepage when we were looking up furniture for our apartment. (Just to point out that no snooping was involved.) I did not ask about it at fi…
/r/RedPillWives28/06/16 05:04 AM
1

For me it definitely helped enough that I can't really justify getting back into it, but not so much that I can say "omg giving up coffee is the way." About that significant! Reducing my caffeine intake has helped me get better sleep, be more relaxed, and feel more in control about everything in general (mainly because I was so dependent on it - I really felt like a coffee addict). I reduce coffee moments to once or twice a week, either at work if I'm really busy and could use some extra focus, …
/r/RedPillWives28/05/16 12:05 PM
1

Sounds like me. I love the taste and the smell of coffee, but I cut back on my intake. My stress levels have dropped. Even my SO noticed a change in my behaviour almost immediately. I can say it definitely works for me and I will only treat myself to a (heavenly) soy capuccino every two weeks or so.
/r/RedPillWives27/05/16 12:26 PM
1

Hahaha. Of course I always shine when I'm in the presence of my man <3
/r/RedPillWives26/05/16 01:29 PM
3

He begins to tell an anecdote, gets lost on a detail and ends up talking for half an hour. I usually have to remind him what his departure point was/why he is telling me this He often sneezes when I come too close. We have no explanation for that In bed, I cannot lie close to him until after a few minutes because he's still overthinking his day. He says my presence distracts him :P So I usually have to wait a little while before snuggling
/r/RedPillWives26/05/16 06:52 AM
2

1. What did you improve from last week? Write down any achievements or progress you’ve made! I can have trouble expressing my feelings sometimes - causing me to bottle up everything, unless I feel very strongly about it. I did really well at communicating my uneasiness about something to my SO. I brought the matter to his attention in a calm fashion and expressed my concerns, as well as what I do appreciate about him. Living healthily has been going well and I am proud to say that I am transitio…
/r/RedPillWives11/05/16 12:23 PM
2

Thank you! Running is something I am especially passionate about, and working towards a 'real' goal (i.e. a race) was much fun. P.s. I enjoyed reading your reflection
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 07:02 AM
3

Good to have you back among us! :) I started missing these threads! 1. How have you brought value to your relationship in the last week? How do you plan on doing it this week? I realized that I can be a bit too quiet sometimes, and that makes it hard for my environment to 'read me'. I tried to communicate my feelings more, and I think it made my SO happier. I also feel more relieved being able to see myself from this perspective and do something about it 2. What was a special moment from this la…
/r/RedPillWives25/04/16 06:44 AM
1

Are there still going to be weekly self-reflection threads? I found them really helpful to take a moment and ... well ... self-reflect. I save my self-reflection posts to evaluate my behaviour, strengths/weaknesses, etc.
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 07:57 AM
1

I've subscribed to more personal hobby-related subreddits and the weightloss-related loseit subreddit. Not much more than that because I don't want to spend too much time on reddit. It's addicting enough, already :P
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 07:51 AM
1

He did, and I didn't reciprocate at first because I had come out of a toxic relationship and wasn't sure I still 'believed in love'. Let's say my faith has been restored :)
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 07:47 AM
1

In response to this specific comment ... May I ask you for some feedback regarding my situation? I am living together with my SO in the apartment he owns. I currently pay (1) a small to medium amount of rent, (2) my share of the food expenses, and (3) half of the internet and electricity/water/gas bills. However, there is some furniture that still needs to be bought, and at first it was a bit unclear to us how we could best arrange these kind of spendings, as some items are expensive, and I've o…
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 07:39 AM
5

Sending all my positive thoughts to those in need. I hope every person involved, including loved ones, are safe
/r/RedPillWives19/04/16 07:18 AM
3

Vegetarian with an omni SO here. If you use a lot of chicken, how about a simple chickpea curry? You can easily leave out the chicken and ta-daa vegan curry
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 11:50 AM
3

This long cardigan is currently my go-to piece. I was never into long, knitted cardigans before, but I love this one and the colour compliments my complexion. Huzzah
/r/RedPillWives18/04/16 11:45 AM
4

Aside from the specific content of this post, I'd like to thank you for sharing this blog! I was looking for more podcasts and blogs and this one looks neat. P.s. You are feeding the list making monsters inside of us.
/r/RedPillWives12/04/16 09:17 AM
3

Oh no, I think it's considerate of you to wait until he's in a more homely mood :)
/r/RedPillWives12/04/16 09:07 AM
4

He is never socially awkward or shy, except for when I start admiring (maybe sorta drooling over) his muscles He is always laid back. ALWAYS. I don't know how he does it. At this point, I am 110% sure we will never fight For some reason, he is totally in sync with his body, never indulges, ... Doesn't smile that often, but when he does: gorgeous smile, makes me melt His smell drives me crazy That look when he wants me to say or do something and I'm procrastinating/teasing him about it. I would d…
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 01:33 PM
3

I try to make a point not to change out of my work clothes until after dinner - which is when I work out/lounge. This way Hubby can enjoy me dressed up. Same! It'd be a shame to get into my homely clothes as soon as I get home from work, when I know he enjoys seeing me dressed up.
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:43 AM
3

A bit of a flower child look: I usually wear yoga pants and a cute top. If it's cold I'll drape a big scarf over my shoulders. I also sometimes wear light dresses. If I get too cold in that, I wear a knitted cardigan on top of it. I always sleep in my undies.
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:40 AM
4

There was no cringing on my part, hahaha. I also sometimes play out the ""I guess you can't go to work today" bit. You two sound lovely and full of positive vibes together.
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:29 AM
3

What do your greetings look like now that you're the one who's home last?
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:25 AM
3

That sounds delightful :)
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:24 AM
3

Switching from work to home mode is difficult for me. :-( I need a lot of time to adjust. My SO can adjust quicker, thankfully, and always points out when I am still a little distant and reflective. Oops
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:23 AM
3

So nice that your husband points those things out. I find that men do that more easily than women. :P
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 08:21 AM
9

This is going to sound freaky, but my SO also broke my favourite cup a few months into the relationship. It shattered into a thousand pieces on the street and pieces of cut up fruit were all over the place. I cringed inside, but I didn't get angry. Same situation!!! A few days later, I bought the exact same cup. No harm done.
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 03:20 PM
3

So, what are your typical hello and goodbye games? :0) If I don't get my goodbye kiss, I will just stand by the door until I do. I don't care if I'm late, I am NOT leaving :P
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 03:16 PM
4

The trick with the hello is to show you are enthusiastic to see him but not smother him or inundate him with every single boring detail of your day the second he walks in the door. truth I cannot contain my enthusiasm and, as some have mentioned, it is often contagious! P.s. Yayyy, yoga! I practice yoga at home because yoga courses are expensive here
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 03:13 PM
4

Thank you. I think most people can relate to the topic. Even when SO and I were dating and didn't see each other that often, we would text each other 'good mornings' :) a consistent window for positivity Well put! Hahaha, the bye tax. I really like hearing about other couples' variations and quirky habits
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 11:20 AM
7

Him saying the time was his way of letting me know he needed to be out the door with his kiss. That's adorable, tbh. I like knowing that the last interaction we have is a good one. Agreed. I feel it is so important to part on good terms. I'm one to quickly feel awful if that doesn't happen.
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 10:43 AM
2

We had a few dates at the beginning of last year (not counting that as LTR time), and then started seriously dating for about four to five months in the second half of last year before moving in together. I've known him for a lot longer than that, though Thank you! I still remember the moment he's asked me to live together. Before that, he was already insinuating things along the line during conversations, but I'd never thought it would go so quickly. We are very happy together (just kissed him …
/r/RedPillWives08/04/16 06:17 AM
4

I am guilty of mentioning to my SO (at the beginning of our relationship) that I am not that big on gifts, celebrating hollow holidays, etc. And he feels the same. But with my birthday coming 'round, I couldn't help but ask him a few times if he's getting me anything! Ughghghg ... When I realized this conflicting behaviour (and after beating myself up over it), I straight out told him I don't expect him to get me anything. Everyday I get to spend with him is a gift already :)
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 07:05 AM
9

Exciting~~ !!! Hi all, I am 24 and have been in a LTR for close to 10 months. We, uhh, already live together (｡◕‿◕｡) and it's been going swell. I live in Western Europe. Interests include running, yoga, cinema, cooking veggie meals ... Things I am not particularly interested in, but also do on a regular basis: overanalyze things and mess up my meal plan Yay, RPW!
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 06:48 AM
5

I must admit I sometimes forget to be humble. I can spend days in an egocentric bubble ... But it is largely compensated by overwhelming moments of humility :P It's one of the best pieces of advice I've ever read and I ought to thank RPW for that
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:43 PM
4

That's such a neat way of looking at things! I love it
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:36 PM
7

This is my favourite method of introducing something positive into a potentially negative situation. I try to do it every time it applies, and I'm sure it feels better for both parties. (Imagine apologizing all the time. One would come across as clumsy and incompetent, and things would be awkward.) In my experience, saying 'thank you' instead of 'sorry' (1) accentuates positive aspects, (2) shifts the focus from you to the other party, (3) reminds you to be humble
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 06:34 PM
3

You said it, seemingly unlimited choice and a finite life. The beauty of a good relationship is both partners making the choice and going through with it. Not dumping each other over the first little inconvenience.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/16 07:21 AM
3

I struggle the most with (internally) demanding gold stars and unconscious (now conscious, LOL) over-claiming. Not score-keeping in general, thankfully. Feeling a bit shameful because those are traits that revolve around me, me, me while I don't consider myself that egocentric. Food for thought
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 01:39 PM
3

I don't have an iTunes account, but I think I've figured out a way to download 'em as mp3's. When you go to the page for a specific podcast, there's a SoundCloud bar/thingy at the bottom with a download/share icon on it. Click and save as, woop woop
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 01:34 PM
3

Are these podcasts available as free downloads? I sometimes listen to podcasts during chores and hers seem interesting.
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 09:38 AM
3

I love Dangerous Liaisons. Is that the version with John Malkovich?
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 07:54 AM
3

My love language results are: Words of Affirmation (10) Physical Touch (8) Quality Time (8) Acts of Service (4) Receiving Gifts (0) The top three is really important to me. I need feedback in words. I cannot easily read into body (or other) language and it leaves me to guess what my SO thinks about certain things. Needless to say, leaving me to guess stuff = feeding the hamster. I know I give love through acts of service and physical touch, but I'm not sure what my SO's love language would be if…
/r/RedPillWives05/04/16 06:52 AM
3

With fascinating characters! I've been to the café from the film, Deux Moulins, when I happened to be in Paris. And got the nastiest drink ever, yuck.
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 06:19 PM
5

Haha, I thought of Amélie as well!
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 06:08 PM
8

Hey... Who stole my diary?
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 02:14 PM
5

Not saying that every one of these films include RP dynamics, but we could discuss the relationship dynamics in: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) "When their relationship turns sour, a couple undergoes a procedure to have each other erased from their memories. But it is only through the process of loss that they discover what they had to begin with." (IMDB) Lost in Translation, directed by a woman (Sofia Coppola) and with a magnificent soundtrack (2003) "A faded movie star and a negl…
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 10:33 AM
4

I'm very excited to see how the community will continue to grow <3 So glad I found this sub
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 07:36 AM
2

Something good you did for your partner this week (or family or friend, if you're single) My SO has been quite stressed out because of his job. He can get in a very pensive state when that happens and needs quite a bit of 'alone time'. I tried to be less (emotionally) needy, focussing on my own interests, and more providing A special moment (either in your relationship or in your life) Ah, those moments when I look at him and I experience the totality of my love for him. I get exceptionally mell…
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 07:28 AM
1

I am not a mother so I have no advice to give, but ... Congratulations! Hope all goes well!
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/16 11:39 AM
2

I used to be unemployed and actively looking and applying for jobs a few months ago. I was awefully stressed out - a handful of times to the point of collapsing in tears. In addition to other excellent posts ... What I did to cope: Do not unload ALL of your frustrations onto your SO I was the one going through this uncomfortable situation, sure, but imagine having to listen to the same rant over and over again, while you yourself try to do your best at work. Not very attractive - and it will pos…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/16 10:19 AM
4

He probably has a good reason. For me, this is the very essence of your post. Do what he says, because he probably has a good reason. When I do something the way my SO wants it to be done, it is an expression of my trust in him and his decision making. Furthermore, it helps me relinquish control and has never proven to be the wrong way to go. Good piece of advice! I also like your use of examples
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/16 08:23 AM
2

This weekend wasn't too good. I was in a foul mood because of not enough (time for) self-care. Even though I got some major practical stuff done, I just wasn't a pleasant person to be around. This includes being snappy/moody to my SO, mood swings, poor diet, ... and a bad self-image in general. Today is a much calmer day. I'm going to practice lots of self-care, enjoy the flow of not having to do lots of different things, which causes my mind to split all over the place, and dress up real nice f…
/r/RedPillWomen28/03/16 07:45 AM
3

(...) she was just causing drama that very loosely involved me so he thought the best plan was to just nip it in the bud and end things with me to avoid conflict with her. This seems to me a curious way to react to an overly dramatic ex-girlfriend. He ends things with you, to appease an ex? That isn't a good sign. Personally, I would want to understand his train of thought. I would gently ask him for some insight. Honestly, keeping in mind the further developments - or lack thereof - in your rel…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 10:27 AM
3

Reprise and reflection on my concrete actions for the past week: I've been more active during the evening. SO noticed it and literally said to me yesterday "You seem to have so much energy left". I also have incorporated the clean-it-right-away mentality into this particular goal Listening and participating in conversations has been better. I try to be more genuinely interested, i.e. stop focussing on myself and what I'm doing and fully direct my attention towards the person I'm talking to I've …
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/16 08:38 AM
1

I can relate to literally everything in your post. Very nicely put
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 12:37 PM
1

It is strange, isn't it! And though I am grateful I figured this out (;-)) before it became a real problem, I should probably look into decreasing my caffeine intake and maaayyybeee taking supplements. (I'm a vegetarian and have had my blood examined. No deficits, yay.) The listening part has definitely been going better. It feels so good to be more engaged in conversations. (There are so many different levels of 'listening'. /Really/ listening is hard) Wishing you the best
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 12:34 PM
3

I am constantly reminded of this excellent piece of advice. My SO and I live together in an apartment. Above us live newlyweds of about the same age, maybe two or three years older. The walls are quite thin and I can hear the girl/woman nagging throughout the evening. I can't understand what she's saying, but it's a certain tone of voice that I am sure everybody would recognize. And wow - I do not want to be that kind of woman to my SO, or anybody really. It is rather off-putting. So again, I am…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/16 12:16 PM
2

Reprise and reflection on my concrete actions for the past week: Do not question SO's decisions (STFU): I've noticed that my 'bossy' reactions to him are definitely highly related to my own mood. I tend to be more questioning when I am a) not practicing enough self-care, b) stressed out, have too much work Keep up the clean-it-right-away mentality: I am slowly integrating this and making it a 'mental' habit Practice yoga and go for a run at least three times each: I have a training plan and try …
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/16 08:51 AM
2

Personally, I would never refer to my SO as my best friend whilst talking to other people. But I did call him my best friend once or twice. I believe the use of the title 'Best Friend' is rather context-dependent. I would only call him that when his actions and the dynamic between us at a given moment resemble a BF-BF dynamic, which just isn't very often. To me he's much more than that.
/r/RedPillWomen09/03/16 09:00 AM
2

This thread is inspirational to me, already. I've only included solitary activities in my two lists. Instant gratification list: Going for long walks, carefully observing everything, taking in the scenery / Long distance running in the woods, the park, ... / Yoga and treating myself to tea after yoga / Warm showers / Reading and people watching at the local coffee shop / Learning new recipes / List making, organizing things / Shopping: clothes, make-up, healthy organic food / Reading articles on…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/16 09:19 AM
2

Good: STFU-ing: since moving in together, I have noticed becoming a bit more controlling, so I have been STFU-ing more. So far, it has helped to improve the overall mood, avoid unnecessary conflicts, (paradoxically?) help me become more calm and it boosted self-reflection time. Being more passionate about things: I had become a bit apathetic about life outside of work. I recently graduated, started working and it's been a stressful time. During that time, I let my SO take the lead, but had becom…
/r/RedPillWomen07/03/16 07:17 AM
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