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ellaykim Archive

View 9 posts and 196 comments by ellaykim on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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71

Totally. And I guarantee she will get a “hey” text from him within the next two months when he’s bored and lonely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 04:21 PM
89

My trigger is “crazy-eyes” He stares, wide-eyed, too long without blinking. Uncomfortable eye contact, waiting for you to yield. It’s a power move and I feel it in my gut. They know what they’re doing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/22 02:05 AM
175

The Kardashians are peak Pickmes, hopping from one abusive loser to the next. I honestly feel sorry for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 11:37 PM
43

Tickling is such a violation of boundaries. Years ago I broke up with someone who wouldn’t stop tickling me after I repeatedly told him I didn’t like it. Thinking it’s entertaining to pin someone down and poke their body while they scream “stop” and try to escape….?? 🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 09:33 PM
92

Agree with everything in this post. A man who wants to pursue a relationship with you will make his intentions clear from the beginning, through words and actions! “Let’s see where things go” is code for “let me use your body and breadcrumb you while destroying your self esteem. Then I’ll call you insecure and needy before I gradually ghost you while popping in and out of your life to use you for more sex when it’s convenient”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/21 03:16 PM
14

I’m glad! FDS women guard our hearts but we have so much love to give. We all deserve to have it given back to us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 10:34 PM
47

Great post. I recently got engaged and had the same standards. When my fiancé asked me what kind of ring I would like (before the proposal), I showed him, and he simply said “I love it, that would look beautiful on you.” The ring was around 20 grand and he never balked at the price. He wants me to be happy, and he’s proud to have me wear a beautiful and expensive diamond as a symbol of our love and commitment. He made the proposal special. We went on a beautiful and sentimental hike where he pro…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:39 PM
92

I’m obviously in the minority here- but I think the perfume was nice considering you’ve been getting to know each other for a month, and he knew you wanted some new perfume. I think it was thoughtful. If he purchased a specific fragrance he knows you like, even better. Could it be lovebombing? Yes, that’s a given, and you must continue to vet. But it could also simply be a nice gesture. I don’t see this as a red flag, but stay vigilant and don’t get lost in infatuation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:38 PM
69

Exactly! God forbid a woman has standards 😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:26 PM
6

Lol then so be it, I guess that’s fine with me! I’m too old to play games and pretend 😆 Ain’t nobody got time for that! An HVM will respect your anti-porn stance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:23 PM
21

You could ask an open ended question- “What are your thoughts on porn?” Let him answer and if he asks you, you tell him it’s exploitative, abusive, and you are not ok with it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 03:32 AM
134

I personally don’t agree with the idea of asking them what kind of porn they are into. I think it’s too forward and sends the wrong message. I don’t want to come across as a CoolGirl who is into that. It’s not something a HVW asks or discusses, and I think HVM would be repelled by the conversation and view you as a kinkmeisha. I would rather have him know that I am against it and that’s a firm boundary. Porn use will be revealed eventually, whether it’s in the bedroom (erectile dysfunction and “…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 08:42 PM
34

I agree to an extent. I think the best lovers don’t need much communication. There is a lot of nonverbal communication that takes place during sex and foreplay, they just have to be in tune with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:09 AM
49

Yes, but rarely. And it isn’t just penetration, but the act of loving and being loved, and him knowing my body well enough to go at the perfect speed and depth. It’s the deeper emotional connection combined with the penetration (in just the right spot) that gets me there, not penetration alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/21 12:06 AM
91

Yep!! LVM want us to moan and groan and perform while they jackhammer away, making sex a pornographic experience for them instead of a shared pleasurable connection
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/21 08:36 PM
481

This is the antithesis of love and respect. An epidemic that has been amplified by porn addiction. What kind of perverted psycho gets off to this?? Why has our society gaslit women into accepting this as normal dialogue and behavior? Just because it happens in the bedroom doesn’t make it acceptable. This is psychological and physical abuse ladies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:17 AM
24

Good! Don’t entertain him with a response. Your time is worth more than that. Last time my NVX tried contacting me, it was through his friends IG account. Instantly blocked. They always come slithering back. Your ex is looking for ANY interaction with you, positive or negative. Not because he misses you or loves you, but because it feeds his ego and makes him feel in control. Do not give him that. You’re better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 07:23 PM
21

“The pain soon disappeared as I lead a more peaceful life” THIS. It’s painful but so temporary. The transition from pain to peace to “I don’t know what I ever saw in him” happens quickly. It’s so much better to rip off the bandaid! I prolonged the break up process for over a YEAR with an ex, and once I finally went no contact it was SUCH a relief!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 09:37 PM
23

Lol I knew it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 09:26 PM
54

Damn he sounds like a desperate addict!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 07:20 PM
519

It was granola bars. I was recovering from an outpatient surgery I’d had earlier that day, and he expected me to make dinner for him and our two young kids. I asked if he could please handle it tonight. He threw a tantrum, threw granola bars on the table and yelled “THERES YOUR DINNER, YOU CAN THANK YOUR MOM” at a 2 and 4 year old. Then he stormed out of the house to play video games with his friends. So many fights before that. Lying, cheating, selfishness. But throwing granola bars on the tabl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 06:25 PM
19

This is why FDS recommends never exceeding the man’s effort. It’s just a waste of time and energy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 05:57 AM
7

I have a place in my heart for pickmes because I used to be one. I feel sorry for her, because I understand her insecurities on a personal level. . It sounds like you have tried to show her true female empowerment and she’s just not ready yet. There’s nothing wrong with removing people like her from your life (I would), but don’t close the door entirely. She may have a wake up call and come to you for support when she’s ready to level up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/21 03:34 PM
2

Thank you, I needed this today 💕 I appreciate you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 04:21 PM
13

Thank you! Yes, knowledge is power. I’m sorry to hear you’ve experienced the same thing 💜
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 10:18 PM
24

Yes. Sympathetic response is often labeled “fight or flight” but the second half is “freeze and appease.” This what many women are conditioned to do when they feel scared. I learned this after I was sexually assaulted. I just laid there motionless while it happened and I remember feeling so confused and ashamed after the fact. “Why didn’t I stop him? He thought I wanted it.. I didn’t say anything.” I blamed myself and felt so ashamed, so I kept it a secret. Predators know this and use it to thei…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:55 PM
15

😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 01:12 AM
76

Also- men seem to enjoy making women sore. Have you noticed that? It’s like they think it means they have a big dick or something. Ever complained about being sore down there and your partner just smiles with pride and enjoyment?? 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 11:11 PM
39

Hvm KNOW when their partner orgasms. If he has to ask, the answer is no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:40 PM
190

Right?? We’re made to believe that if he can’t orgasm, there’s something wrong with the woman. And if she can’t orgasm…? You guessed it! There’s something wrong with the woman! Always blaming the women and not their own selfishness or porn addiction. ETA what kind of LVM talks about the sex he had with his ex to his current partner?? 🙄 Hope you nexted him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 09:34 PM
109

Yep! God forbid the pH gets screwed up and you develop an odor. And then you get to bear the shame of being “gross” because of the problems caused by him 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:53 PM
179

Lol it’s like… I’m dry as a bone and bored!! Wrap it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 07:48 PM
485

She probably faked it three times just wanting to get it over with! And then he kept going and going with a half erect porn-addicted penis. She was hoping her moans and “yes baby”s would get him there but it just wasn’t quite enough. Male lurkers: the ability to have sex for a really long time is not a huge accomplishment to be proud of. If you want to spend a long time having sex, focus on the foreplay and making SURE she orgasms. Then allow the penetration to be loving and connected. Not a dra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 06:24 PM
53

I won’t date a man who has close female friends. In my experience there is always some questionable history (previous hook up or relationship). Most women intuitively know this but are gaslit to believe they’re “jealous and insecure” if they see it as an issue. My ex had a female friend and swore there was nothing between them. I didn’t want to be seen as “crazy” so I quieted my inner voice and assumed the CoolGirl role. I came to find out that yep, they hooked up! Men don’t want women friends, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/06/21 12:08 AM
215

Here’s one: Proposing at an event that’s celebrating her personal achievements (award ceremony, graduation). Just let the woman shine and don’t make it all about YOU dude!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:40 PM
54

Just checking in to say I’m super happy in my relationship thanks to FDS. I’ve been seeing this man for a year now and the effort he puts in to make me feel special hasn’t died. I regularly get cards, flowers, notes, phone calls and texts. He knows how to do everything around the house and on his property. He plans trips for us. He never lets me pay for anything. He makes sure I orgasm first EVERY time we have sex, and he makes me feel loved and cherished, not like an object to be abused. When I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:21 PM
38

As a member of the crypto community it is disheartening to see this. It is mostly a male dominated space, and as we know, among the male dominated spaces the LVM rear their ugly heads with misogyny and sexism. On another note: ladies- save and invest your money! Believe it or not crypto is a great way to gain financial independence. But never invest more than you can afford to lose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 01:23 AM
17

I agree that continuous vetting is important. Personally I would never phrase a question about porn use like that. To me it’s inappropriate and sends the wrong message. Porn use will reveal itself eventually in the form of weird “kinks,” ED, or finding it on his phone or computer. I understand your overall point but I wouldn’t want to misrepresent myself as a CoolGirl who is ok with porn because that might detract a true HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 02:12 PM
26

She will understand and hopefully grow up to be a woman who doesn’t tolerate disrespect. You are setting the example. 3 months isn’t much time, and I know it’s painful. But on the other side is strength and happiness. Hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:49 AM
14

Set an example for your kids. An example of a woman with healthy boundaries. That’s the kind of woman they will become/attract. And the earlier the better, but it’s never too late!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 04:46 AM
21

Great comment. The addict has to be the one to dig themselves out of the hole. The hard work required to get out is incentive for them to stay clean and sober. You can’t care more than they do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 11:35 PM
103

Yes, the things posted here need to be said and heard without censorship and gaslighting. I’m so grateful to have FINALLY found a sub where a woman having standards isn’t considered a hate crime!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 07:12 PM
34

Great post, thank you! One thing that really stands out to me is “yOuRe sO mAtUrE fOr yOuR aGe” This is pure manipulation. He says this as a compliment and flatters the young woman. She wants to continue to prove herself as the “mature, savvy young woman” When the older man inevitably starts his mistreatment, the young woman speaks up initially because she doesn’t like it. Well guess what? Now she is “sO iNsEcUrE aNd iMmAtUrE” according to the older man. He is trying to get her to fall back in l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:33 PM
17

It feels like a compliment but it is SO manipulative. Later when you verbalize any complaints about his bad behavior or mistreatment, you’re just acting “iNsEcUrE and iMmAtUrE” So young women feel like they have to live up to these expectations of “maturity” by keeping their mouth shut. An older man calling a young woman “mature” is a way to control her into being a cool-girl doormat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/21 06:17 PM
12

The depravity knows no bounds 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 02:58 PM
42

Omg scum is the word. And his “I feel guilty and we should never talk” speech is a load of BS. He’s done this before and he will do it again. I guarantee he will breadcrumb her for as long as she will tolerate it. I hope your pickmeisha “friend” wakes up
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/20 02:51 PM
11

I would probably be the one apologizing to him back in my pick me days!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 11:45 PM
57

I’m going to be blunt- he is selfish and doesn’t respect you. First of all, you are stuck in the “forever girlfriend” zone as he hasn’t married you after 10 years and a child together. I sense some emotional abuse happening. He is making you feel less than him by pointing out that he is your caregiver instead of happily making sacrifices to care for the woman he loves. Him pointing out that you “used to be more active” is a way to cut down your self esteem. And telling you that you “can’t be mad…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 03:53 PM
13

Yes sis! 🙌🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 10:05 PM
24

Use your words ladies! Keep things classy and sophisticated
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 06:47 PM
219

You know what is really striking? Her shame over this. Clearly Mike is a disgusting perv and completely at fault, yet she is ashamed to bring it up to anyone. This is a common theme for women who are sexually harassed and assaulted, myself included
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 04:19 PM
95

I don’t get how so many women go through this phase Low self esteem, societal pressure, their upbringing, premature emotional investment with men due to having sex too early in the relationship. The list goes on and on. Good for you for not dating this man- a lot of us have settled in the past and that’s why we’re here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 03:29 PM
15

I don’t date men who have close friendships with other women. I find it inappropriate and it’s a dealbreaker for me. And I don’t have close male friends. In my experience there is always some underlying sexual tension OR a history of hooking up. I’ve had plenty of male friends in my life and guess what? They always want to have sex eventually. Men don’t want to be friends with women, they want to fuck them. And many of the women who have male “best friends” are just garden variety Pickmes who en…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 09:14 PM
109

I love her. Soooo many LVM on her show and she sees right through the BS. A real high value queen 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 08:57 PM
9

Don’t feel bad! All you did was tell him the truth and call him out for being inconsiderate. Nothing wrong with that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/20 01:55 AM
21

Gaslighting with the “Wow” too. As if you are the one with the problem and you just blew him away with your “crazy” response
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/20 09:20 PM
16

Excellent post, thank you for this. I had never experienced verbal or emotional abuse and didn’t realize I was in an abusive relationship with my ex. I just thought I needed to “try harder.” When a therapist pointed out that it was abusive I was honestly shocked, but so grateful for the information. It helped me eventually leave. I hope this post helps someone who is in an abusive relationship see it for what it is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:31 AM
8

I don’t keep posts of my ex on my profile. And frankly I would find it strange if my SO had posts of him and his ex together on his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 06:41 PM
20

He won’t if you don’t give him the opportunity! Sounds like it’s time to block and delete sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:43 PM
7

Bingo!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 10:39 PM
21

Lol exactly! More like “how can I capitalize on a vulnerable woman’s pain??”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 08:55 PM
6

The pickmeisha reply: “Aww thanks for saying hi!! I’m really good and so is the fam!! How are youuuu????” LVM: “I’m doing really good, at a great place in my life and I got a new job in ‘management’ I was just thinking about how much fun we used to have. I really messed up when I let you go. We should get together sometime and catch up” Pickmeisha: sooo flattered “OMG yes we totally should!!” BUCKLE UP for the emotional roller coaster sis! Good job ignoring this guy OP!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 05:44 PM
13

It also reinforces the societal conditioning that women are supposed to be “nice” and “polite” and give everyone around us the warm-fuzzies at the expense of our own boundaries and personality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 02:13 PM
106

“Come over and let me comfort you during this difficult time”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:22 AM
14

Lol YES I remember! And I’m thankful for that lesson- it was all a part of understanding my worth!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 04:20 AM
79

Thank you sis, it helped me learn boundaries. I now know how to recognize signs of abuse very early on and walk away before getting emotionally invested.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 07:25 PM
54

Thank you! Me too! It was a long time ago thankfully, but it took years to shake the insecurities and truly love myself. And even to this day (12 years later) I still find myself angry with him at times.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 06:04 PM
10

Sounds like a lovely day! You’re worth it! We all are!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 05:55 PM
16

I have to applaud the man’s based response at the end of the video. The podcast dialogue was terrible. He totally steamrolled her. Awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 05:56 PM
45

This is it exactly. It all boils down to selfishness!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 03:47 PM
66

This is important in the workplace and with new friends as well. I have never regretted discretion but often regretted over-sharing. It just leaves you open to getting stabbed in the back. My inner circle is very small for that reason.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 07:53 PM
31

Omg this is painful to read. Even worse if he has rough skin or jagged nails 😳😫😱
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:29 PM
21

“He’s got a certain look in his eye” Damn that’s so true. And I love this sub for bringing this stuff to light. I have encountered totally abusive weirdos who didn’t show any signs except for that look. Now I’ll be quicker to recognize it for what it is. Gives me the creeps. Sounds like you have a strong intuition. Keep following your instincts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 05:16 PM
5

Original Poster. The person who wrote the post
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/20 04:32 PM
154

“yOuRe sO sEnSiTiVe” No, asshole, that’s called blame shifting and gaslighting and we don’t put up with that crap anymore. OP— you are not sensitive or humorless. He is cruel. And I hope he will not be given the opportunity to manipulate you into believing YOU have a problem. He is an asshole, period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:25 PM
396

Yep... he was jealous of a plant and this was a test to see if she loved him more than the plant. I have a hard time believing he thought she would laugh along with him. The boyfriend did this to hurt OP. There was nothing funny about it. So much abuse is hidden behind “it was just a joke.” No. It was cruel and malicious and she did the right thing in dumping him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 05:30 PM
27

This conjures up a whole mental picture... A couple pairs of those and some yellow undershirts in a pile next to a floor mattress with stained flat pillows. The smell of bong water permeates the room from the spot where he most recently spilled on his filthy carpet. Crusty dishes are left on the floor because he “hasn’t gotten around to” picking them up. There is no furniture. A couple random chargers are plugged in near the mattress. A half-used bottle of massage oil materializes... omg I have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/20 11:09 PM
9

You are absolutely right. These fights condition women to just “go with the flow” and ignore their feelings to avoid conflict. I completely lost sight of who I was when I was in these arguments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:00 PM
4

I’m sorry you went through that. It’s abuse. And his goal is to diminish your feelings so you’re afraid to speak up when he treats you like shit. I’m so glad you’re out of that situation
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:39 PM
14

Yes! And the goal of the abuser is to get you to shut down completely. And victims do shut down, because it’s easier to just “put up with it” than deal with another fight about how horribly he treats you! You become a shell of yourself and no longer question him out of fear for how he’ll respond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 12:30 PM
62

Omg just reading this pissed me the hell off!! I have DEFINITELY been with that guy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/10/20 01:46 AM
58

The real freedom comes in simply no longer caring what they think. Living life for yourself and YOUR happiness. Not for someone else’s approval.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 09:32 PM
16

Agreed but if we even have to ask the question, the answer is most likely YEET
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/20 04:18 AM
4

I am so sorry that happened to you... what a creep. And I’ve definitely done my fair share of seeking validation by engaging in unfulfilling sex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 07:22 PM
14

Girl, SAME! As he went through medical school and beyond, his ego just got worse and worse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:56 PM
13

Academia gives narcs a platform to be “better than” others. Normal academic people don’t have to constantly advertise their credentials
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 01:52 PM
29

Don’t waste your time, love, and energy on someone who cant act right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:57 AM
42

He makes me feel special regularly with flowers, phone calls, handwritten notes. He pays when he takes me out. He is dependable and considerate of my time. He makes a six figure salary and owns his own property. He cooks and cleans for himself. He has interests and hobbies and he is very handy around the house which is so sexy. He eats a healthy diet and exercises regularly. He is very generous in bed and makes sure I orgasm first every time. When restaurants first began to open up after quarant…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 03:26 AM
33

“I feel bad” How many times do you go along with something because you feel guilty?? Using FDS we let go of that guilt! We no longer need to be “nice” and “go along with things” That is patriarchal conditioning sis. And it’s not going to help you find a HVM, it will get you sucked into an emotional roller coaster LVM relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:32 PM
12

It’s too soon to know if he is a HVM after one date. He had to reschedule the first date... now he’s trying to switch up the plans on the second date. To me this says he is noncommittal and indifferent. Then invites you to his place?? He doesn’t respect your time and wants to get laid. I’m thinking LVM. Sorry 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:28 PM
40

It’s part of being a provider. And whether scrotes want to admit it or not, men feel good when they are providing. And if he respects you and sees you as a worthwhile investment, he will want to pay. If he’s just looking to get laid and not form a meaningful connection, NEXT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 06:19 PM
20

Seriously- I don’t even visit other subreddits anymore! Never looking back is right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:54 PM
5

Right, it’s like he’s saying “I’m in charge but I will allow you to have some input.” Just NO
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 05:43 PM
4

I started reading his paragraph and went cross-eyed. Blah blah blah blah... boy BYE! 👋🏻 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:57 PM
10

Yeah we don’t have time for that kind of negativity in our space Flick * Begone scrote!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:53 PM
7

It’s predatory and disgusting. And leaves you questioning what the hell happened.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:12 PM
29

Yes! They act like they’re doing you a favor by “giving you permission” to be in control. Verbalizing that actually places him in a position of power. He’s still the one in charge and he is doing you a favor by delegating some power to you... We don’t need that validation from them! And it’s all an illusion since they see themselves as the puppet masters. I don’t need a man to tell me I’m in control of my body or how I will spend my time!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:34 PM
116

“I wasn’t hitting on you” Bruh, yeah right. We can see it coming from a mile away. Nice attempt at saving face and your precious ego. If you don’t cut it off immediately by telling them about your boyfriend, you get accused of “leading him on” because of your friendliness. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. We should normalize completely ignoring strangers
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 01:14 PM
57

My personal experience is that men who say that are actually manipulating you to believe you’re in control. But when you try to assert boundaries, they push right through them. Which leaves you feeling very confused after your encounter with them. “He told me I was in control, what happened?? Did I consent to that??”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:37 PM
2

Oh good! And the puppy will never gaslight you or manipulate you! The real HVM!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:27 PM
10

This is an amazing story. I am so happy for you! You never have to go back to being a pickme, you never have to settle! Congratulations on leveling up in all areas of your life and ENJOY that precious puppy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 04:55 AM
2

The Venn diagram ⭕️ 🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 02:05 AM
24

Thank you! I am so happy too! I credit FDS 💯 I’ll have to make an FDS success post if things stay on track with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:48 PM
97

Amazing post! Generosity does not just come in the form of money. He should be generous and giving in the bedroom too. Pornsick men do not understand this AT ALL. Men who are true pleasers know the difference between faking it and real orgasms. I have been seeing a man for six months (using FDS- which works btw!) and we started having sex two months ago. He was totally focused on my pleasure. Immediately I went into “pleasing” mode, just ready to get it over with PER USUAL because this has been …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 10:34 PM
9

Exactly. I commented on this below. Men shouldn’t be treated like children who get a gold star for doing their chores... it’s patronizing. LVM will soak up the praise but HVM would be baffled by it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 03:09 PM
9

It’s not wrong to appreciate what he did. But it was over the top, and if this is the highlight of his treatment toward her, the bar is low. FDS is trying to raise the bar for how women are treated. Women have been conditioned to accept less than the bare minimum from men (walk dates, onion ring proposals, etc)... so when the bare minimum is presented to her she will be totally wowed 🤩 Cooking a family dinner that members of the family will enjoy IS a bare minimum. We want to do away with the no…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:42 PM
37

I agree... it’s nice, sure. I would expect my husband to treat me nicely, and of course I appreciate nice gestures. But I’m not going to fall over with gratitude and post to social media every time he makes dinner, takes out the trash, or does the laundry. That’s just being a member of a family/household. To me this is pickme-ism. Like WOW, he made a dinner I like for our family!! What a guy!! Where is the bar ladies?? If he makes dinner do you expect it to be Kraft Mac n Cheese? Why is a man co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 02:09 PM
14

Omg give me a break... as if 26 is the pinnacle of maturity 🙄 This guy is a total narcissist and needs to get over himself!! I have a narc ex who used to play the “maturity” card as well. It’s just a way to invalidate your feelings and gaslight you into believing the problem is YOU, not him. And imo he only told you his “body count” to make you insecure and make it seem like he’s comparing you to others... aka keep you in pickme mode. Girl you dodged a bullet! Actually I don’t think he’s a bulle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/20 01:49 AM
12

Jail????? 😳😳😳 Good thing you blocked him....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 10:29 PM
37

He was trying to use this as an opportunity to call all the shots in the relationship. Basically have you waiting on the back burner for when he is bored, lonely and/or horny. But then retain the power to justify his neglect with “wErE nOt iN a rElAtIOnShIp” when he inevitably hurt you. It would have been breadcrumbs from here on out. You did the right thing... even though it hurts!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 09:41 PM
27

Beauty is so much more than appearance. You ever meet a woman who carries the glow of inner peace?? That’s beautiful! I’m 37 years old. My face and body are starting to show signs of aging. My soft belly has given me two amazing kids. My thighs can carry me to summits I would have never believed I could reach. The wrinkles that are beginning to form around my eyes are proof that I have laughed a lot and enjoyed life. No one is going to stay conventionally “beautiful” forever. Beauty is an inside…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 01:01 PM
13

Lmaoooo I hope you took one look at it and dead panned “I promise I won’t fall in love with you”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 05:29 AM
14

Yes! HVM realize that you have you “maintain” a relationship just like you would a house, yard, car, etc. It requires time, thoughtfulness, and money! LVM will invest in things like gaming but scoff at the idea of paying on a date. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 06:57 PM
7

Well, if you’re anything like me, you learn things the hard way, not the safe way 😂 I got pregnant out of wedlock, married and divorced, developed and overcame an addiction.. the list goes on! All of these things brought me shame at some point but I have learned and grown. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without these struggles I’ve faced. But that’s life. We all make mistakes. And I’ve realized as I’ve gotten older that my parents are just two imperfect people doing the best they can too. Th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 05:09 AM
22

Me 🙋🏼‍♀️ My parents were very overprotective when I was growing up (no sex until marriage, strict curfew, no drugs or alcohol, etc) I understand their intentions but as soon as I left the house I entered a full blown rebellion. I enjoyed the attention I got from the boys, and was a total “cool girl” pick me. I accepted the bare minimum from them, cleaned for them, drank and smoked weed with them, cooked for them, had (horrible, unfulfilling) sex and slept on many dirty floor mattresses 🤮 and did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/20 04:57 AM
26

The car cry is a different level of pain. But so cathartic too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 04:35 PM
24

My therapist said “you may not have bruises on your body, but if we took your feelings and emotions and were able to lay them out and look at them, what would they look like? Battered and bruised?” That really hit me hard. It was the moment I realized I had been abused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:00 PM
24

Wow this is some evil stuff!!! Thank god for therapists! I also had no idea my relationship was abusive until a therapist told me it was. She explained tension building, incident, reconciliation (honeymoon phase)... I was stunned but SO grateful for the information! It helped me get out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 02:10 PM
72

Also, they will flat out deny that they did or said something. I used to have a difficult time recognizing hurtful behavior the moment it was happening, so I would try to talk to my ex about it after I processed it. His response? “That never happened!” Or “I never said that!” “You’re crazy! You’re making things up” Now why is it that in every other area of my life (at work, with friends, with family) I have a firm grasp on reality..... but with him I was “hearing things, making things up, or for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 01:19 PM
6

Sounds like a lesson learned. Block, delete, and move forward. They are exes for a reason! Leveling up is finding happiness outside of men! There are so so many other things that you can do to fill the downtime. Yoga, netflix, tidying, light a candle, art, browse the FDS sub, etc! Congrats on quitting the juul, that is not easy to do! Nicotine is a nasty little habit to break. Keep it up!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:44 PM
95

My narc abusive ex husband used to love to say things like “Marriage is HARD... you have to work HARDER” when I cried or became upset about how he treated me (cheating, lying, gaslighting). They love to normalize the “struggle.” It ain’t normal!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 11:33 PM
57

Thank you for bringing this up. I’ve found that men who are hiding something have a totally different demeanor when it comes to their phone. For example, tilting the screen away, acting nervous if you hold their phone (to look at a picture or website), taking their phone everywhere with them.. something is DIFFERENT when they are keeping secrets. A man with nothing to hide will hand you his phone to look up directions, or put on music, he won’t hide his screen, and he will leave his phone laying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 05:32 AM
96

“And you will apologize for your dinner request and be grateful to me for tolerating your behavior when you stepped out of line.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/20 03:13 AM
9

I am so sorry you’re going through that. You are giving him way too much power. Yes, he is an asshole but you are allowing him to treat you this way by making yourself available to him. The love of your life wouldn’t treat you like this. He is wasting your time. You are not a doormat and you need to stop acting like one. Block, delete, don’t look back. Go through “withdrawals” for a short time and then feel the POWER of goodbye! Your future self will thank you and wonder why you didn’t do it soo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:49 PM
6

I hear you, I kept a LVM around for over a year because I couldn’t find the strength to block and delete. I would stop talking to him for weeks at a time and he would come creeping back. As much as I resented him, the interaction made me “high” again and I craved more. then the high would wear off and he would be an asshole again! If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, I was insane! Blocking and deleting him is the best thing I ever did for myself.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 04:41 PM
21

Yes, there are a lot of predatory men in these groups. And it’s very easy for women that are new to recovery to get sucked into a toxic relationship because 1.) they often have self esteem issues related to their substance abuse and 2.) their brains are looking for another way to get “high” and male attention and sex easily replaces their drug of choice. Women that are new to addiction recovery should stick with the other women if they want long term success.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:39 PM
31

The same way an addict doesn’t want to let go of their drug. They know it’s toxic, they know it’s killing them. But they’re addicted to the high. Even when the highs disappear, the addict is addicted to the possibility of getting high. Toxic relationships parallel addiction in so many ways
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:27 PM
8

🤏🏼🔍🧐 lmaooooo
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 02:53 AM
2

I agree that domestic violence comes with en entirely different set of rules. The right time to leave is when it’s SAFE to leave. I interpreted this tweet as referring to low value bread-crumbing manipulators who want to keep you on the emotional roller coaster for the sake of stroking their own ego.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:30 PM
1

Congratulations on leveling up. I think once you start pursuing the things that bring you happiness and bring out your inner glow (whether it be art, yoga, music, etc) you attract HV people into your life. That’s why we gotta love ourselves first 💝
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 08:25 PM
7

Summon your inner strength and block and delete. Walk away with your dignity intact. The “urge to impress” goes away with time I promise
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 03:50 PM
33

Right... and they will beg and plead and swear up one side and down the other that they have changed. And the part of you that cares wants to give them another chance. At that point buckle up sis, you’re back on the emotional roller coaster. Or you can avoid all the drama and wasted energy and just block and delete.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 05:28 AM
45

Interesting point. And I never stopped to consider the meaning behind “I’m taken” as if someone else has possession of me. Just another example of insidious misogyny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:37 PM
11

Yes, the difficulties are where we find our strength. Where we find out what we’re really made of. I am grateful for the hardships that have molded me into the woman I am!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 02:25 AM
84

Right.. and then they want to “hang out” again because they had a good time. Like... of course you did. You spent time with a beautiful, witty, intelligent woman who carried the entire conversation while stroking your ego along the way. Like seriously... I’m going to pick out a cute outfit, do my makeup, style my hair, and accessorize.. to meet up for a WALK??! Then entertain your dusty ass with my humor and conversation the whole time??! Of COURSE you enjoyed yourself. I will no longer put in t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 09:34 PM
123

Low effort date, low effort man. And most of the time, these LVM expect you to entertain them during the walk with smiles and laughs and witty conversation. I’ll stick to my twice daily dog walk with some good music or a podcast, tyvm. You really can’t label going for a walk a “date.” There is nothing about going for a walk that makes a woman feel special. And we deserve to feel special. If a man disagrees, next! In nature, the males go to great lengths to impress the females. Ask me on a walk-d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 07:14 PM
7

Block and delete both of them. You are better than this. Shes pregnant and under his spell. You could tell her he is a serial murderer and she would believe his lies. Move on with your life sis
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:22 AM
21

Vet heavily and next him at the very first sign of abuse. Talk to a therapist about the old trauma because he will be long gone! We won’t tolerate that BS anymore!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 10:05 PM
39

Good! Men need to be told!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:52 PM
74

And yet we feel shame and embarrassment over it (as if it’s our fault) and men take NO responsibility 😡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 07:08 PM
2

Omg yes to all of this! I have been there and it SUCKS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:20 PM
9

Just NO. He is 23 years old, this is not normal, and it’s not your job to fix him. He is addicted to porn. And if you have sex with him it will be worse, I promise! He won’t be able to stay hard and it will be stressful, not pleasurable. And it’s NOT YOUR FAULT! Let him go 👋🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 04:18 PM
11

“If he’s got a new girlfriend straight after you, there’s a simpler explanation...”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 03:36 PM
21

This is why we block! So much freedom in blocking. I don’t get any notifications, reminders, anything! I don’t need that negative energy knocking at my door again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 02:17 PM
27

Ewww they want to be called “daddy” but they actually want you to be their mommy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 04:28 AM
14

ALWAYS SLITHERING BACK... seriously why do they do this??? Bored? Ego needs a stroke? Test if they still have power and control? so freaking predictable! Scrotes be shameless. And good job on that block and delete!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 01:25 AM
19

Yes! I love that this sub is all about leveling up as a woman! We know our worth here, and know that being happy and single is FAR better than settling for some asshole who doesn’t deserve us!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 12:41 AM
49

I didn’t understand this until I was the victim in that situation. I told the guy repeatedly I didn’t want it, but didn’t actively stop him when he physically assaulted me. I felt like because I didn’t kick and scream and bite and protest through the whole experience, I was giving my consent in his eyes. And I wasn’t. I was so confused and ashamed after the whole experience, and I felt like it was my fault. Thank god I was able to work through what happened in therapy and read about other people…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:50 PM
57

And yellow mystery stains 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 04:31 AM
110

Lmaoooo it’s the perfect accoutrement to the mattress on the floor! And there’s always just one pillow 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/20 01:42 AM
38

Hate to admit I’ve been that woman. That’s what happens when you don’t vet someone, become emotionally attached through having sex too soon, artificially fall iN lOvE, and don’t want to cut the dead weight because you’re too invested. So you keep “trying to make it work” and investing more and more and more.. making it harder and harder to leave. Block and delete is much a simpler solution!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 06:43 PM
11

Men like that will blatantly lie when confronted with the truth. And the scary thing is, they believe their own lies
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 06:05 PM
36

Live and learn queen. You’ll know better next time. That being said, break ups suck and I’m sorry you went through that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 04:06 PM
13

Oh I do the same thing- imagining worst case upsetting scenarios like a loved one dying a violent death. That’s anxiety. I think there’s a difference between anxiety like that and the gut feeling/energy vibe/intuition you have towards someone. At this point in my life, my LVM radar is pretty accurate with early detection. If the alarm bells start ringing its time to show them the door 🚪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 03:20 PM
32

Oh absolutely! These toxic mfs condition us into believing we are “crazy” and our instincts are way off base. Women are trained to doubt themselves and look to men for answers and truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 01:36 PM
14

This is so.... embarrassing! I got to section 3 and thought “what the hell, how long is this??” So I scrolled and scrolled and scrolled... Omg I don’t even know the guy and I want to block and delete 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/20 02:58 AM
17

Yes honey block him, you said it yourself, hearing from him makes you sad. You don’t need that energy in your life! I would have blocked him without explaining... but oh well. And don’t unblock to “see if he responds”!!! He has had emotional power over you for too long. Time to take your power back!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:51 PM
38

“We were playing around” “He expressed his frustration about me making such a big deal about it” 🚩🚩🚩 Classic gaslighting abuse. This is not playing. This is about pushing the boundaries, dominance, and control. I hope she can find some distance from him and gain some perspective
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 03:46 PM
22

Love this! Date night for me myself and I! 🍷🥡🥢🎬
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 01:15 AM
19

My ex criticized every inch of my body. He verbally and emotionally tore me down, and of course it was always “just a joke.” Then his favorite insult became “yOu’Re So InSeCuRe” Ya think??? Who wouldn’t be after years of tolerating that abuse?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 01:59 PM
53

Add to the list: No means no. “No” is not a starting point for negotiations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/20 04:48 AM
14

The fact that he’s posting stories every day and pictures of himself... 🚩 Why? Attention? The only attention he should be concerned with is yours.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/20 08:05 PM
21

Hold the door open for him and lock it behind him once he’s gone!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 04:17 PM
56

Great analogy! So in other words, people should not be allowed to grow and change?? It’s like telling someone who was recently diagnosed with diabetes to keep eating sugar and don’t take their insulin because it’s “too late.” It’s not too late to gain some self respect and boundaries! We change the behavior that was DAMAGING us and making us sick!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:14 AM
26

My ex did a lot of self deprecation when he treated me badly. “I’m a horrible person! I’m so selfish” Wahhh wahhh wahhh and my dumbass would disagree with him (“You’re not a bad person! You have a good heart!”), pity him, and end up feeling sorry for HIM! It’s all part of the game sis. Don’t buy it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:06 AM
38

People over-share when they get sober. It’s like they’re so relieved to finally release the shame of alcoholism and tell the truth, they want to shout it from the rooftops. This is best done in AA meetings, not in the public eye! Yes Ben, congratulations on becoming a human being at the age of 47. Shut up and let your actions do the talking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:48 PM
21

Exactly! 😂 Ain’t nobody got time for that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:40 PM
12

Walk away for good...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:11 AM
9

No more excuses! You are not misunderstanding his intentions! You are not “crazy,” “too emotional,” or “insecure.” You may not have the bruises on your body, but if we had a way to remove our emotions from our minds and place them in front of us.. what would yours look like? Battered and bruised? That’s emotional abuse and you don’t deserve it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 11:19 PM
23

That’s how they gaslight you into believing that the problem is NOT their behavior, it’s your reaction to their behavior!! LVMs training us to put up with their bullshit and making us believe we’re the “crazy” ones for being hurt by abusive behavior!! Get out of the trap sis. Break up, block, delete, next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 06:10 PM
73

You’ll feel confused about his feelings towards you because he’s hot and cold. And then you’ll second guess your feelings because he’ll convince you that you “misunderstood” him when he only gave you the crumb or nothing at all. You should be feeling wonderful after each and every encounter with him, not confused! If he likes you, you’ll know, if he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:29 PM
152

Totally abusive... and if it continues, they’ll have you believing that you only deserve the crumb and anything more is generosity. You’ll fall over with gratitude when you’re treated with simple respect. No more forgiveness and second chances for this shit! Psychological/emotional abuse is so harmful and insidious. It’s easier to justify as the victim, because there is no physical “proof” like bruising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:25 PM
37

My old pickmeisha self used to go play “cool girl” at my DISGUSTING neighbors’ apartment in college. Four 20 year old men in a two bedroom place... I would do all their dishes, wipe down the kitchen counters, take out trash, vacuum, light candles, spray febreeze.... You name it. I’d get everything all sparkling clean and then go to them for approval like “Look what I did!! Am I not wonderful?? Please validate me!!” It was honestly pathetic 24 hours later it would be a disaster with empty beer ca…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:18 AM
56

It means they eat a lot of fast food. They aren’t cooking if their fridge is empty! At the very least they should have some beverages to offer guests if they’re going to have you over! .. sparkling water, juice, soda.. something besides tap water from a smudged/dirty glass
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 05:08 AM
3

People who really don’t care don’t need to “prove” it. Just block, delete, forget, move on. You have nothing to prove to someone playing games with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:32 PM
34

The sub was linked in another area of Reddit and labeled as “toxic.” So I thought I would check it out for entertainment. Read a couple posts and then the handbook, then it all clicked. I instantly leveled up. I realized I’d spent my whole life being a doormat for men who don’t deserve me. Im sick of showing men patience, empathy, and understanding when they treat me like shit. First time he crosses the line with me, it’s done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 03:14 PM
18

Next time just say a quick “thanks, good luck” or no response. A long response to his text was not necessary. Talking about “feelings of readiness” and “casually dating” and “spending too much time together” after one date makes it seem like you care more than you should. It’s a bummer, especially when you felt the connection was good. But time to move on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 06:59 PM
15

Blocked on insta, blocked his phone number, forgot to block on snap (I never use it). Then get a notification... “Ex is typing...” but he never actually sent a chat. What a cowardly way to try and get my attention! LMAO!! BLOCKED on snap! Bye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 05:25 AM
7

He liked the ego boost and power that came along with knowing you caught feelings. He “had” you so no one else could. Makes my blood boil too, trust me I’ve been there! Better to just cut your losses and move on. I’m sorry you’re going through it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:40 PM
148

FWB- another iteration of the “cool girl.” All about pleasing the man and setting yourself up for heartbreak. Yeah let’s have sex and “friendship...” basically a a relationship where no one is held accountable for how they treat eachother because god forbid we put a label on something and COMMIT 😱. That should work out real well. Then when he acts like a fuckboy he can just blame it on “this was casuallll” “we’re just FWB” 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:03 PM
31

Right?! This is not a “complicated FWB” situation, this is CLASSIC pickme/fuckboy!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:54 AM
21

In my opinion, agreeing to a FWB relationship is just setting yourself up to get hurt. For me, once I share my body with someone, feelings get involved whether I want them to or not. Which is why I love the FDS 90 day rule. If I were you I would block and delete this guy, he’s not going to change. What he offered you (attention, compliments, even a gift) was the bare minimum to get laid. He got what he wanted, got bored, and got “distant” as you put it. That’s what fuckboys do! And honestly who …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:49 AM
24

First of all, a real HVM would travel to see you, not the other way around. I just read in another post “The sperm travels to the egg” lol! He has way too much power in this situation and I agree with other posters, it’s creepy. Tell him you’re having second thoughts and you’re concerned for your safety. A real HVM will understand and change the plans to accommodate YOU! If not, he isn’t the man you thought he was. And honestly- it’s way too soon to determine if he is true HVM material!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:36 PM
11

Yes, believe patterns, not words!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:29 PM
39

No. If they believe there is someone out there who is better for them than me, go and find her! Don’t waste my time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 06:27 PM
5

You owe no one an explanation! No is a complete sentence. I quit drinking in 2015. This bullshit gets much easier to deal with the longer you go without drinking. The people who make a big deal out of it have problems of their own- here’s the door, bye!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:53 PM
15

What he’s saying is “I have a problem with my weed consumption, but I’m not ready to acknowledge that yet. So I’m going to pressure you to use as much as I do, so I don’t have to feel bad about my own usage.” 🚪
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:50 PM
20

You don’t owe anyone an explanation. For normal people, “I don’t drink” is a valid, complete sentence. If not, maybe they need to examine their own relationship with alcohol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:48 PM
12

Yes!! This is why we wait at LEAST 90 days before sex! It’s a little time to test consistency in their behavior before attaching yourself to an LVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/20 05:36 PM
2

Wow! Yes!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:36 PM
9

Recovering addict and pickmeisha here too! Yes!! This is why we don’t date in the first year of drug and alcohol recovery. It’s replacing one addiction for another and almost guarantees a dysfunctional relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:25 PM
51

I agree with the point this is making. That’s why it’s so important for women to have a solid support system of other women in their lives. Someone to knock some sense into us when we want to act on emotion instead of logic and “reach out to the ex.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:18 PM
23

Love this!!!! Don’t fall in love with potential, ladies!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:27 AM
7

I’m sure he was hoping to accidentally bump into you to show you how “over you” he is. After two weeks, he’s not over you, and this poor woman is a rebound. What do you want to bet he tries to contact you in the next few weeks with an “I miss you” text? Don’t give him the satisfaction! Block and delete and love yourself! Really sorry that happened to you sis, hugs!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 04:06 AM
43

Pickmeisha behavior totally parallels addiction! The dopamine rush accompanies the highs (attention, feeling like a priority) and depression accompanies the lows (being neglected, ignored, plans cancelled, gaslit... constant disappointment). Then the next LVM comes along and starts lovebombing, bringing back the elusive “high.” And of course buried deep within are the feelings of guilt and shame. What I’ve learned from FDS is this: no man will ever again have the power to determine my self worth…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/20 03:45 AM
44

Spot on! And let’s not forget the men who describe labor and delivery/breastfeeding as “disgusting,” because they can’t fathom that breasts and vaginas are designed for anything besides their sexual pleasure. 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/20 12:10 PM
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