Could use some opinions!

m4dam3x · 2020-02-13T18:04:23+00:00

Honestly? It doesn’t matter. Just move on. He is indecisive, not ready, not interested, in a relationship, or playing games. Block and keep it moving.

Firefly10886 · 2020-02-13T18:56:57+00:00

[deleted]

ellaykim · 2020-02-13T18:59:07+00:00

Next time just say a quick “thanks, good luck” or no response.

A long response to his text was not necessary. Talking about “feelings of readiness” and “casually dating” and “spending too much time together” after one date makes it seem like you care more than you should. It’s a bummer, especially when you felt the connection was good. But time to move on

Chandira143 · 2020-02-13T19:01:57+00:00

He’s probably got an off again/on again girlfriend. The identical thing happened to me in my early 20’s. It was the longest first date I’ve ever had and I felt like we really bonded. We laughed, we kissed, we had great conversations. Then he disappeared.

I saw him years later and he explained that he had had a complicated relationship with another girl and that’s why he disappeared. He asked me out again but I declined.

If it doesn’t make sense then it’s not you. Bottom line.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-02-13T19:03:47+00:00

My only advice is not to entertain this guy at all if he claims later that he's ready. He'll most likely disappoint you all over again. Maybe he liked you, but maybe he liked someone else better and wants to put his energy into her. That's fine. But don't be his second pick when he comes back.

Also in the future a simple "I agree" or "I feel the same" would be better than some long response. Someone else said that but I can't reply to it so it might get deleted.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-13T18:59:15+00:00

[deleted]

extraacct1234 · 2020-02-13T20:14:08+00:00

He was hoping if he could be nice for a day or two you'd give up the pussy. And when you didn't he pretended he just isn't ready for a real relationship because he knows you're not going to put out right away.

Also you folded to his bullshit in that text message. You've got to block this guy because he is going to come crawling back and fuck with your head.

coolestgirlyoueverme · 2020-02-13T20:25:51+00:00

I find this scenario to be pretty common with men from OLD. They send all these sweet texts, you meet them once or twice and have a nice time, and then they stop chasing due to some vague reason.

I think the reason is because: A) he's not that into you B) it's not moving fast enough for him physically C) he's got some other girl/prospect that he decided to focus on instead and you'll get a text from him 2 months later asking to meet up again after it didn't work out with her lol (don't respond)

I just try to just enjoy myself during the date and don't put too much emotion in these OLD guys anymore until they have proven themselves over time. I also try to improve my girl game and femininity and practice this on dates to see what works best.

Either way, I think it is important to remember that their sweet good morning / good night text mean NOTHING until he has taken you on multiple dates and shown what he is like over time.

I'm sorry this happened after having such a good day with this guy. The only advice I can think of is to guard your emotions and hopes until the guy (especially if he is from OLD) has proven himself over time.

7_0f_9 · 2020-02-14T05:05:46+00:00

Yep, "I'm not ready" actually just translates to "i don't want a relationship with YOU, but I'm willing to string you along so i can have sexual access until i find my dream girl". You're simply not his dream girl.

Also. Never spend all day together when you just met. You made yourself too available to him when he shouldn't be that important at this stage. Keep dates to 2-3 hours for the first few months in my opinion. Remember, they have to EARN your time and attention. Don't just hand it out freely, even if the date is going really well. They have to stay consistent.

Keep in mind you also basically weeded him out. That's the point after all. These strategies are for weeding out fuckboys. That's what you did. Luckily you didn't sleep with him before he bailed. That's the idea. Keeping your boundaries high to see how long they last and how consistent they stay with their resources and attention. If they are future faking, they can't keep it up for long, as you just witnessed. He knew you were keeping your options open, and in typical LVM fashion, he didn't feel the need to prove himself. Never feel disappointed when this happens. It just means your dodged a bullet. You gotta learn to remain emotionally objective so as to not get burned. Remember, he may seem to check all the boxes in the beginning, but again, they can't keep up the act for long, if it is indeed an act. Someone else on this sub mentioned how men will be on their best behavior in the beginning because they know that's what they have to do to gain sexual access. They fake it until they make it. That's why it's up to us to vet.

Title	Could use some opinions!
Author	notsorrybitch
Upvotes	11
Comments	19
Date	February 13, 2020 5:38 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f3djxi/could_use_some_opinions/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/could-use-some-opinions.682639 https://theredarchive.com/post/682639

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