So it appears we’ve been suffering from an influx of bitter pick me’s lately who don’t like the rules and can’t take any criticism. This despite their post history being full of posts chasing after low value men at 200mph that don’t want them- thus implying that whatever they’re currently doing is definitely not working. Hence why they came to FDS seeking help.

We are a support sub so this makes sense- but our mods support is also going to consist of pointing out unhelpful or self-sabotaging traits, views and behaviours as well as giving you a realistic (NOT sugar-coated) understanding of how most these LVM operate in the wild. We are big on personal responsibility and agency as women here (not wilfully playing blind victim to the patriarchy) : doing what we can to protect our hard work from the legions of LVM, calling their shit out and levelling up where we need to improve to attract more HVM. Not to mention keeping our sanity intact and our eyes on our goals.

If you know how LVM operate- then you’re ahead of their games and know how to spot them and weed them out faster. However some of you have not picked up this vital info through awful experiences like the mods and other users here have- so seeing it all laid out looks absurd to you. This may be down to age or simple naivety- a few heartbreaks later you will understand the FDS approach much better and be far more wise to the game. It doesn’t help for at-risk-pick-me’s to invalidate these women as ‘bitter’ when they’re already knee deep in a similar scenario themself. The goal isn’t just getting a man, a relationship or a ring like that’s some achievement (which it is to pick me’s with no standards) - it’s getting a HVM that respects you and is worth your time.

As most of you have realised- we don’t sugarcoat here😂 the reason being : ALL of us have learned the harsh fate of pickmeisha behaviours like lowering our standards just incase he maybe sort of turns out ok. All of us have been through the mud several times and seen it all around us. All of us have muffled our needs/overlooked flaws to give a shot to LVM in disguise who later disrespected us and threw it back in our face anyway. All of us have learned what society grooms us to be is not what gets you respect from a HVM and is not good for women’s health or prospects at all.

All of us saw through the bullshit of ‘just be a good, kind, caring, smart, attractive compliant woman and the rest will fall in place!’ and know it’s not enough for LVM in disguise who are out for harams of pick me’s unwilling to grow up or settle down. They’re playing a different game ti us. We already know their hypocrisy and lies- that they say they want a good supportive woman who is there for them then get too comfortable and expect us to lower our standards, neglect our needs or forgive things that they would never tolerate. Never tolerate things a man wouldn’t- always pinch yourself and ask- why am I doing that and for who’s benefit? Collective self gaslighting is how women are kept down.

The more on the ball you are, the more you will struggle to tolerate the hypocrisy of immature, self-centered, lying, cowardly, manipulative LVM and their entitled double standards at the expense of our esteem and health. We already know those men just use women as sex objects due to their Pornsickness, expect us to dismiss sexual attraction/chemistry where they would not, expect us to keep it real and support them whilst they gaslight and exploit us, dangle the LTR carrot to keep us as placeholders incase they can’t get better or tell us what we want to hear so they can exploit certain benefits from us longterm. They demand respect but don’t give it back. We already know LVM in disguise will gladly clown HVW with more options than them. We already know this blocks off better options, distracts us from goals and hurts us. We already learned we definitely can do way better.

We learned the hard way through our own and other women’s mistakes- the advice we dish out is things we WISH we knew back then- before we had to learn the hard way and wise up on these clowns. We’re trying to save you more hassle - which granted the rise of the toxic manosphere in response to feminism - you’re probably going to find useful! TRP type men are everywhere- without them even knowing they are half the time. FDS is the response to the rise of this fragile manosphere BS. Low value men are getting very butthurt we have more freedom and won’t tolerate them!

All of us have learned the fate of overlooking red flags in LVM. All of us know the increased risk when women don’t prioritise their safety and needs first (unwanted pregnancy /poverty/broken home/ abuse/rape/murder).

All of us understand we benefit from keeping ourselves in check and telling each other straight, even if it’s not what we want to hear at times (because let’s face it no1 enjoys being called out and hearing their prince charming is maybe full of horseshit). The harsh truth is the harsh truth- it doesn’t care about our feelings, just like most LVM haven’t for most of history- so I’d be weary of any women justifying men’s BS too heavy. Men have been ignoring our pleas for a long time. You can feel the effects of that all around.

It’s really better for women to acknowledge it in loud unison and respond by raising their standards than putting their fingers in their ears and suffering in silence. Command respect and ditch if they don’t comply- you have to make it this simple. This is how you save your sanity and avoid the fate of a fallen badly bruised Pickmeisha.

We know how it is, feelings kick in and you can quickly start idealising an LVM due to being lonely , horny or bored of being single. All of these urges are human and understandable- men make it harder for us to satisfy them without disrespect. But does this zooming past the red flags pay off most times?

No - it leads you further down the sewer hole with the clown out of naivety just like in IT 🤡 then you get covered in 💩 and feel humiliated trying to understand the maze you found yourself in just like they want..and then it’s harder to crawl out scar free because feelings have been caught, boundaries have been warped and the clowns ego has been inflated yet again. He’s already trapped you in the sewer he made a home of himself.

Remember the ending in IT 2? When they stop fearing the clown it begins to shrink into the cowardly little insecure nothing it always was- that’s what happens when women everywhere tell these low value men BYE. They get off hurting and manipulating you because they’re weak and broken inside (usually self inflicted)- they know they have to act like they’re all that because they’re rotten deep down, scared of intimacy, insecure, immature and no HVW would stick around if they saw that weakness. Hence the act- they already know you’re above them.

When women see through their weaknesses they lose power to control and manipulate you into compliance. You just see a weak broken little boy trapped inside a man’s body following the herds of sheep, spreading hurt and complaining ‘where aRe aLL tHe gOOd gIRLs?’. Idk LVM maybe you stole all their innocence and ability to trust- you entitled hypocritical little fuckwit. What a pathetic beta sight to behold. Utterly unworthy of Queen energy. These men are parasites on earth and completely plague our society- don’t let them feed off your supply. Cut them off.

That’s how some women end up chained to them for decades and struggle to get out. That’s where you are most at risk if you don’t know how to assert boundaries and rip the plaster off. You have to get ruthless and step out of the pick me scarcity mode into Queendom certain of your value and options — because true HVM don’t force you to settle for BS. If he’s expecting that early on you already know he’s low value and the relationships doomed.

I thought I should address this, seen as we are growing fast we are going to see a lot more of this... newbies not reading the sidebar and then getting hurt when we assign them a temp flair they find unflattering.

We don’t do it just to feel holier than thou - we do it cos we already see the warning signs and what you’re in for if you don’t self reflect and pull yourself together. And like I said - there’s a lot more at risk as a woman if you don’t keep your head on straight and acknowledge the landscape /warning signs of LVM. If you don’t keep it moving and avoid investing feelings when you spot their bullshit. Men are physically stronger and we can get pregnant- we have to keep this in mind.

The dating market is no easy feat for women with standards who won’t settle for BS and are looking for someone stable. Who are unwilling to play dumb and comply. Thus we have to get more ruthless / vet 50 x harder in order to get what we want, because we deserve it- it’s society that convinced you otherwise- that respect is too much to ask. That’s why it seems extreme - because the dating market is- it’s already not in women’s favour what with violent porn, all these apps and manosphere LVM pumping and dumping....especially ones who refuse to be gaslit and waste their years putting up with disrespect. Especially those trying their best to avoid a broken home.

I thought it would be useful to explain the Pickmeisha flairs and why it’s needed because a lot of newbies tend to think it’s ‘harsh’, ‘bitchy’ or ‘putting women down’. Well we shame behaviours all the time in society to keep people safe and this is no different. If your mother didn’t shame you for not standing still near a busy road- you might of ended up hit by a wreckless LVM. It’s much the same here. Would you rather we fed you Disney fairytales about most men, sent you off with rose tinted glasses and pretend you have no agency in this at all?

The reality is - it’s a useful way to determine followers who constantly object to our rules or dish out poor advice that isn’t beneficial to women or might be at risk of becoming a full blown Pickmeisha which obv we want them to avoid.

The dating game isn’t fair to women even women who have it all going- FDS is perhaps the only dating sub that truly acknowledges this with no remorse- and that’s why a lot of what we say sounds harsh or OTT etc. I get it..if you’re young, surrounded by pick me’s, crap parents, inexperienced or naive to the reality of how many LVM there are- it will sound harsh and excessive- but believe me naivety will be an even harsher reality for you out there. The truth is there is way more LVM than HVM in the sea as you know and that’s why we tend to post more on them to bring attention to what you’re up against. Pickmeisha’s continue to make these men too comfortable and pump their esteem- they’re willing to forgo all standards/self respect in return for breadcrumbs and humiliation. We need to stop rewarding them with our emotions and fast...otherwise why would they change whilst they’re catered to?

However there is plenty in the side bar and on the feed pointing out HVM...but naturally on a female dating sub there is going to be more venting and disgruntled women (which is necessary, therapeutic and beneficial to share too- men try to mute our anger when collective anger sparks the change and raises the threshold - hence why we got the vote!). Because of the reason above: there’s way more LVM so we run into them in disguise more frequently and they do way more damage to us. Also HVW with healthy esteem, boundaries and standards are much more apt at spotting them and unwilling to settle for BS when they change. Even if they have feelings for a fool they rip the band aid off. They are more likely to be happy being single and value their peace over draining LTR’s with losers. I mean how many women do you know who have mostly dealt with HVM most their dating lives?

Not many sis😳..so this sub is going to reflect the same. A lot of men are unwilling to change so we need to remove our presences and force them to. We need to keep doing this til they get it- that HVW aren’t here for the games and double standards.,.they’ll just move on. It’s no diffferent to your girlfriends sobbing about cheating, ghosting, using assholes IRL. I don’t understand why pick me’s expect an alternative reality to be projected onto FDS? Is it because they can’t handle the harsh truth in order to get ahead? Probably.

Once you start seeing through these low value men and their games you will get your footing back. You will have the upper hand and be in the driver seat of your dating life, as women should always be. You will understand your value and the options this presents you. These fuckboys will drop off even faster than b4 because they know you’re too strong / high maintenance to exploit. And that’s why we make them pay and make it expensive to waste our time - you should always benefit from their trial period because most times their mask will drop off. Make sure you get some perks from them wasting it- they do not fear offending or hurting you.

I know a lot of severe pickmeisha’s IRL myself. Their lives are shit- I’m not going to sugar coat. They know it too and they tell others often. Some of them I knew from school as the timid girls- very kind and empathetic to men. Most are now saddled with babies to mediocre or less LVM which they won’t leave. Some of their baby fathers didn’t last 4weeks before bouncing out the door. Some are deep in LTR’s with men that flirt with their friends whilst married still- they attack the side pieces and won’t leave the LVM.

Some of them are exhausted and overworked because their partner won’t step up and they began by being fair paying half. These are all women that would consider FDS types ‘too harsh /superficial’ or ‘too demanding’ to men. Well - I don’t think they’re harsh enough given their circumstances. Giving the benefit of the doubt to men rarely benefits you as a woman. You must put yourself first and vet hard. Especially if you want kids. You have more to lose than them. Most of them think with their PP- not about what’s best for society.

There are certain behaviours that most pick me’s possess but there are different severities.

For example:

Naivety - lack of experience with men and naivety to their games so the Rose-tinted frames stay firmly on (until it’s too late). This can just be an age thing. Yet to discover the legions of lying LVM in disguise and get hurt enough to wake up- bend the facts to the Disney fantasy often. Yet to meet a HVM to know the stark difference. Thinks a baby or a ring will change an LVM.

Trauma- acting upon trauma to appease mens pornsickness, aggression or abuse - cognitive dissonance to sex as an intimate thing due to being raped or assaulted. They may also have been severely neglected or abused in childhood- warping their sense of esteem and understanding of healthy relationships. Willing to put up with abusive painful sex demands to appease him.

Codependency- problems with being alone or finding value outside of men. Possibly lacking decent family/friend support to guide them or act as role models so clinging to LVM to fill the void, garner affection and avoid therapy/ inner work. Parents, exes or friends might of also worn down their esteem, standards and boundaries so they’re lonely, fragile and needy replicating the same abuse dynamic: trying to get love from emotionally unavailable toxic people. They’re scared to be alone and would rather use shit company to distract themselves from pain.

Lack of esteem - can’t value themselves flaws and all so assume they must sacrifice basic self respect to keep a man interested (which is a bad game plan). Self loathing rather than focusing on improving. Think only really pretty girls can get respect (lie- men still disrespect them 24/7 and often objectify them for sex/ego status even more). Gaslights themselves rather than facing the music- difficulty swallowing harsh truths. Constantly jealous of women around them and projecting insecurities onto them to lower their esteem/appeal - often willing to throw others (including friends) under the bus just to get crumbs of male attention. Can’t see or create unique value in themselves.

Poor boundaries - difficulty establishing high standards, removing all privileges from parasites and distancing themselves from emotionally unavailable toxic people. Too soft, naive and empathetic to leeches- live in a dream world utopia where everyone must be good deep down because they are. Projects their genuine intentions on blatantly selfish immature manipulators. Just giving and giving despite the clear signs he doesn’t value them. Again maybe due to low value ex’s/friends/family violating their boundaries b4- they think they have to tolerate violations to keep people around. They think they can force them to change- despite contrary evidence.

Lack of assertiveness- difficulty saying no, communicating needs and addressing bullshit (like cheating/negging/being rude) and too afraid of hurting manipulative mens feelings 😳(scared to offend, assert boundaries or let go). Feels responsible to raise grown man children, stuck in scarcity mindset- thinks they can’t replace him if they speak up and he threatens to leave. Responds to silent treatment by begging for his attention and wishing they never brought up his blatant disrespect. Abuse tactics 101.

Sensitive to criticism - take knee jerk offence to outsiders advice no matter how well meaning and assume people are ‘jealous’ of their negative value relationship or have ill intent towards them. Too argumentative to save face and can’t take advice on board. Lacking humility/ self reflection. This leads to them defending behaviour that harms themselves. Very naive to men with self-serving intentions- always gives them the benefit of the doubt.

Internalised misogyny- views other women as the enemy and will attack them or shut others out to defend LVM and their poor behaviours. Would rather keep the wool over their eyes than raise the current threshold - prefers to cave in and sacrifice standards/mould to LVM’s liking. May allow LVM to isolate them from friends and family. Difficulty to acknowledge power structures and why most men display similar harmful views/behaviours towards women with no remorse- regardless if the woman is higher value than them.

Doesn’t believe most men are just out to get in women’s pants and use them despite the evidence. Doesn’t believe most men will lie/ cheat with no remorse and overlooks sketchy alibis, signs and notifications, despite the daily reminders of decades loyal women being hurt even after downgrading (Beyonce JayZ). Believes his gaslighting when she catches him. Doesn’t believe most men are pornsick, despite the rise in men demanding violent sex, pushing boundaries and claiming ‘death by sex gone wrong’ to get lighter sentences after murdering women. Who wants a man into incest porn around their child?

Doesn’t believe low value men are a legit safety risk (long and short term) despite the fact women are more likely to be raped/killed by a male close to them. Doesn’t understand murderers, serial cheats and abusers wear masks and will not tell you their intentions or history of abuse patterns upfront- they’re going to lie and shapeshift, telling you what you want to hear and see to get you hooked and get your guard down to leech. They’re going to invalidate your instincts , standards and sense of reality.

At the extreme end of the Pickmeisha😳:

Unaddressed severe personality disorders that prevent them from truly levelling up and being mentally healthy enough to attract HVM ....or at least leave doomed relationships and be single to heal/ level up (severe pick mes can NEVER be single- to them being in long unfulfilling relationships makes them better than the other girls).

As in highly strung women that cannot take criticism due to ego/ complete lack of humility and will lash out at other women pointing out their toxic behaviours or habits over decades - thus only LVM will tolerate them because they themselves are low value /toxic to be around. They aren’t healthy enough to attract a healthy partner even if they met one- way too highly strung easy and convinced they’re always right m. They themselves have neglected their truth, female instincts and potential to improve thus they will settle for a bottom rank man child, who is also too lazy to improve. At no point do they self reflect and level up/learn from mistakes.

These are the worst lifelong unstable pickmeisha’s that end up creating very very messy broken homes with damaged kids in lifelong therapy. Many can’t be saved by that point due to the severity of their disorders and the decades of damage caused (the snowball is too big to address) - they’re so used to filling the void and avoiding accountability /reflection with constant LTR’s with LVM that they allow men to consume their soul altogether. They use LVM as a distraction from themselves- to initially feel wanted but always later resent that chance. They will often take out most of their pent up anger to men on the kids. Unfortunately there’s a lot of LVM so even many non-disordered women get exhausted by the game, give up and cave in.

They don’t consider they could step out and be single to work on themselves- that’s its fine to be alone at times and get support or just focus on the kids. It’s fine to admit mistakes and realise you get things wrong. They don’t see any issue with their esteem or how they behave- rather they attack and project blame onto anyone who criticises them because their ego is too fragile to take the truth and they refuse to ditch these LVM so everyone must suffer along the journey with them.

At that point they have become illogical altogether- nothing anyone says can reach them or have an effect. Severe personality disordered people will rarely change- they don’t evolve much and are very stubbornly stuck in their ways- even if it works against their best interests. Mainly due to narcissism- convinced they’re always right and anyone trying to help is the enemy and must be attacked. They would basically rather die miserable than look inwards /accept they got something wrong. Unfortunately you can rarely help a lifelong Pickmeisha of this severity- they wake up too late in the game (if at all) and will just stay stuck to the LVM out of convenience.

They’re very codependent and impulsive- will not vet men or expect much of them, settle for the first trash can
that wants them and cling to them for decades trying to change them into a HVM despite it making them both miserable, and the man being unwilling to change (important to note many men are UNWILLING to step up). Will constantly moan about their partner being lazy /stingy/unromantic/aggressive but are hostile when any1 agrees and suggests they leave, upgrade or sort their esteem issues out😳. This is very draining to be around after so long- and it further pushes healthy people away who otherwise would love/support them.

They also become very jealous and hostile to HVW with standards - because it makes them feel small or resentful- they know being a selfless pick me doesn’t work. Now they have the miserable loveless overworked life to prove it. To deflect they will call those women ‘superficial’ and ‘unrealistic’ bc some part of them knows they are part of the problem and they settled deep down. It offends them other women seek more for themselves and can be strong on their own. Some will also put their relationship with the LVM b4 their kids and look the other way at sexual /violent abuse.

They have such deep seated problems and unchecked internalised misogyny they cannot snap out of it, stuck in their ways. Some also have parents with a personality disorder so they just repeated the abuse cycle with no ownership or reflection- which also harms their relationships. These type of pick mes will try to wear your standards down bc they failed to raise theirs. Do not take advice off very dysfunctional pickmeisha’s.

As you can see these pick me traits are unhelpful (and even plain DANGEROUS) to women trying to level up and weed out LVM in order to attract better quality partners and live a fuckboy free life where they don’t feel exploited and used but safe, supported and loved. Because whatever affects a mother will often affect kids too. We can only achieve this when pickmeisha’s stop caving in and throwing other women under the bus for breadcrumbs so LVM are forced to level up - it doesn’t even benefit them to tolerate that BS. Yes we know it’s a difficult task - but that’s why so many cave in to their own detriment. That’s why these LVM feel so safe and egotistical.

When we see users displaying these traits on multiple occasions we assign them a pick me flair so they become aware that they need to improve somewhere and it also helps flag them to other users reading their comments. Because we do not want them ending up a full blown dysfunctional Pickmeisha who gives all her power away to gutter rank men.

Whilst it might cause mild offence, it’s doing pick me’s a big favour in the long run that might make them self reflect and even save their life if they take it on board. There are way too many pick mes running around sleeping with everyone on Tinder like there’s no safety risk to them as a female. Everyone makes mistakes and runs into manipulators- we aren’t mind readers but facing the truth and adjusting strategy is best all round. If us women are going to advance we have to share our lessons/pain , motivate each other to uphold standards and keep each other accountable. Most men clearly won’t step up off their own accord.

That requires self reflection, humility, resilience and taking the advice of other experienced women on board who’ve been where you are or see flags you might not - all high value traits. We all benefit from sharing experiences- that’s how most women realise they’re being abused or being taken advantage of. Feelings can blind our judgement. It’s not good to isolate ourselves from fellow women- that’s what abusive men want. They want us weak at each others throats and isolated.

There is no harsh feelings - most women get groomed by society to be a pickmeisha whilst young (or due to crappy subpar parents as role models) but we MUST grow out of it if we’re going to advance -FDS is not here to sugar coat men’s behaviours or pretend we have no personal responsibility to protect ourselves as much we can. And you will not benefit from doing so- the reality of LVM will be shoved under your nose again and again anyway!

We’re here to help our sisters rise up and put these over entitled LVM parasites with their double standards in check. And as deviants from the patriarchy refusing to settle for one-sided disrespectful BS that doesn’t benefit us - yes we mean BUSINESS 👹 feelings will have to be spared. We command the respect men expect from us especially since WE have the babies - this only seems bizarre, ‘unrealistic’, or ‘high maintenance’ because men have gaslighted and groomed us to accept otherwise far too long. They have gotten way too comfortable.