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gtivr4 Archive

View 8 posts and 99 comments by gtivr4 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

She can ask for a lot. Doesn’t necessarily mean she gets it. This is where you need a lawyer
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 08:37 PM
1

I’d say yes. My ex was the plaintiff and it meant she was on the offensive, and I was the defendant. Literally she sued me and won. It’s also highly dependent on state and even county (no less country). So don’t assume.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/24 06:45 PM
2

Ok if you have a prenup and a million dollar home, you must have a lawyer. Ask them. Not Reddit. Also the difference is $20k, that can get eaten by legal fees in 10 seconds.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 02:55 AM
1

How on earth do you own a 1.1m house with 85 in equity? And why do you say she has only 37% ownership?
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 11:59 PM
-5

That’s quite a bit. I would be careful and not assume it’s nothing. But everyone goes for 100% custody in the beginning and barely anyone does.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 01:30 AM
1

Define nothing too crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 01:03 AM
3

Its not what the world tells you, its what you tell yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:12 PM
4

How’s your physical and mental health otherwise? And what are you doing to improve both?
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:46 PM
6

It literally is a law suit.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:39 PM
1

So she gets $6,250 of the monthly income? Lol
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 02:02 AM
2

Split everything down the middle and be done. Wish I had gotten it that good.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:59 AM
2

I didn't even get an allowance! I had my own account, but I was only allowed to have birthday or christmas money. And yeah, felt like I was treated as a child.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:36 PM
0

Then they have openly communicated and have trust. Just like an open sexual relationship. I’m certainly not saying financial infidelity is on the same level as sexual though. But it’s a breach of trust.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 07:03 PM
-1

Honestly I would call it financial infidelity. Not openly communicating about finances is a breach of trust.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 05:34 PM
5

You ah e legal rights. Get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/23 02:56 AM
5

I’d kill to get that deal. I pay far more with far less time.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 10:20 PM
7

I think a woman was the cause of the problem here. Lok
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 10:31 PM
3

Cognitive dissonance is the term you are looking for This divorce is awful, but it can’t be my fault, so I will rewrite it in my head and it will all be his fault.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 12:07 PM
2

Doesn’t CA have some law balancing attorney fees by default?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 01:20 PM
2

You paid attorney fees for the DUI?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 01:18 PM
2

Second putting something on the walls. Any place with bare walls to me makes it feel like it’s a place to sleep not a home.
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/23 07:46 PM
6

Do you have any contact needs outside of parenting? If not, look into parallel parenting instead of co parenting.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 12:13 PM
3

I would give her half of everything and move on. No more financial commitment ever to her is huge. At least it would be for me.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 04:00 AM
3

As in it’s not an equitable distribution state? OP best of luck. My ex is asking for something similar (she gets the house, kids and I pay for all of it). Not gonna happen unless I am absolutely forced to.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/23 08:45 PM
3

Time. Jump back in when you are licking your wounds and you are just going to get back in the same bad space. Personally I’m not so much as going on a date until my divorce is finalized (at least another 6 months and I am 8 in).
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 12:00 PM
4

Depends on how your divorce goes. Mediation, anything goes. Trial depends on a lot of variables. You need a lawyer. I certainly wouldn’t concede alimony without talking to one. If she made less you bet she would be coming after you.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 04:04 AM
3

Don’t leave the family home. It’s your leverage. My ex did this (took the kids), and I moved out. I got stuck with an awful temp agreement. Had I stayed in the house I would have had leverage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 12:22 AM
0

Sure. But if they had 400, I would be real hesitant.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:01 PM
5

It’s not the length that matters necessarily. What does the plan say? Does it cover everything you need? Spend some time doing some research and you will find tons of suggestions out there to compare to. Do the work yourself instead of paying your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 12:33 PM
1

Make sure she is very clearly stating the she is doing that in leue of child support.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 12:21 AM
0

I’d want to pay her child support so she can’t bring that up later (although I am far from an expert). Could you trade equity in the house for paying standard child support?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 10:54 PM
2

Or in my case stay in the home and your ex moves out with the kids and forces you to sign an agreement so you can see your kids at all.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 10:45 PM
1

Why did he recommend status quo? Is there something about your living arrangements that are sub par? Anything you could change to make your argument stronger?
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/23 08:59 PM
5

I bought a bass. I am awful at it but having fun.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 12:33 AM
2

That said if you do come to a reasonable agreement make sure you all sign at the mediation. My ex reneged on the whole thing.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/23 01:47 AM
3

The dream.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 11:57 PM
18

Yup. It can’t possibly be her fault that you are getting divorced. So it must be your fault. Cognitive dissonance.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/23 05:11 PM
5

Start creating some traditions with them. Every Friday is pizza and movie night. Or something that you are into, like if you are into cars, take them to a cars and coffee on Saturday morning.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 07:41 PM
1

I always refer to my ex as “Mommy”, I really hate when my divorced parents refer to “your father” or “your mother”, so I am careful not to do the same.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 10:12 PM
1

It’s a freaking cat sitter for a weekend and he (I’m assuming) hasn’t lived there for 8 months. This is not a battle worth fighting.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 01:45 PM
1

You think a judge will be upset that she hired a cat sitter?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 12:55 PM
1

What does he gain by doing that though? Just creating conflict.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/22 12:53 PM
1

Oh man I hate to hear that. Sorry to hear you got screwed. I am really hoping my situation ends up different. I have GAL report suggesting 50/50, and hoping it’s my ace in the hole.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 03:11 AM
3

Definitely not a lawyer, but I would suggest that if you do hold back child support that you put it in escrow.
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/22 11:17 PM
10

I totally don’t understand how someone can not sign divorce papers for three years. I mean, you want to get divorced, right? (Obviously she still wants to control your life, which totally sucks)
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 02:21 AM
4

Totally. We had our own thanksgiving on Sunday. They helped cook and plan the meal so it was what we want, not whatever is being served and forced on their plate.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 12:59 AM
3

Talk to a lawyer. I’m not one obviously but I would think finances are based on the date of filing. But your ex probably can go after you for additional support if she knows about the added income.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/22 06:25 PM
2

I feel you. Moved for the ex along with her extended family. 1000 miles away from mine. It can get lonely and sad at times. Days I’ve done nothing. Days I’ve gotten focused and done a lot. Days with kids are 1000% easier. The worst was getting the flu and felling crazy isolated. Hang in there, we will all get through it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 04:58 AM
1

Oh I don’t think it’s an awesome deal. I lost, my question was around the logistics of paying a mortgage.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:41 PM
1

No lifelong alimony, no future alimony changes, no child support, no expensive trial, no paying more than that before a trial, no more chaos.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 08:35 PM
1

Can I ask, in the end was it worth the stress for you and kids? And what did it cost? Avoiding that was worth a lot to me.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:06 PM
2

Because it was this or go to trial. I could fight and probably get a bit more in terms of custody. But it would drive a bigger stake between us and that would be awful for our kids. Plus it would have cost a large amount of money I don’t have. But I totally understand your position. I am in SC and the courts are not setup to default to 50-50.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:48 PM
1

So if you sell you get to realize 50% of the equity?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 05:02 AM
1

Yeah thats a good field to fill in the gaps. Uber, door dash, amazon etc. Best of luck!
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 03:55 AM
4

Definitely don’t buy another house together. That’s just screaming complexity. If you do move out find something you can rent. But I wouldn’t move until you have a signed agreement to temporarily create ground rules and custody.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 03:15 AM
12

Why wouldn’t she change her contributions?
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 12:38 AM
0

She was willing to be really aggressive and courts were super delayed. So better off agreeing to a bad agreement (every other weekend, I pay CS and mortgage and utilities). It was that or she has the kids and I basically never see them until we go to court.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:21 PM
4

Be careful about leaving and ceeding control before you have a legally binding document. I slept on the floor of my office until we had a temporary agreement and I had an apartment. Even then I still got screwed.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 12:30 PM
2

So you are handing over the whole house?
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 01:17 AM
1

Was doing everything possible worth the effort in hindsight?
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/22 08:57 PM
1

Generally as far as I know, yes she gets ownership of the house when you got married. So she gets half the equity.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 02:34 PM
3

He might actually benefit financially by getting an attorney. Sometimes it’s worth the debt.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 04:45 AM
1

Assuming your weeks match up!
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/22 01:55 AM
3

My ex seems to be trying to recreate her parents divorce as well. Saw her dad on alternating weekends, her mom controlled everything. The crazy part is, she knows how poor her relationship with her dad is, but can’t seem to see the fact that she is trying (keyword here) to have her kids have the same or a worse relationship with me. Not gonna happen.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 02:09 AM
3

Splurge on a depreciating asset even though your financial future is clear as mud? What happens if he has to cover more alimony or CS than expected? I’d stick with what I have until I know where I am financially.
/r/Divorce_Men21/09/22 07:47 PM
10

Sadly you are right. Although I feel like I read all the time (at least on Reddit) about how adults mean are lonely and looking for friendships. I know I can be. I would definitely try meetups and clubs for anything you are already interested in. If nothing else it will keep you busy with people who share an interest, and maybe you will make some friends.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/22 12:08 PM
2

That sounds like bliss, which is really weird to say. Actually my parents divorce was quite amicable. Their judge even said it was the most reasonable settlement he ever signed off on. Neither had a ton of money, and my sister and I were adults so that helped. I tried talking to my STBX amicably and she resolutely refused. Now we are going down a messy rocky path that more than likely will result in the same thing I asked for the day after we decided to separate.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:49 PM
10

Talk to a lawyer. Only they can really tell you what would be legally binding. If you genuinely think she will be amicable in the divorce, then go back and talk to her.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 10:59 PM
2

Haven’t done it, but some advice I heard was to start with things you can easily agree to. Also go in thinking about what success will look like for you. That doesn’t automatically mean you get more stuff, but get what you really want. Maybe that’s joint custody but she gets a few more days during the week and you get an extra week in the summer with the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 12:51 PM
3

Sounds like you have a strong relationship with your granddaughters. Not sure why you wouldn’t be able to see them unless your DIL is blocking your son from access? You should absolutely be able to see them (my opinion)
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 11:47 AM
1

She hasn’t seen your kid? What do you gain by the ppo? What do you gain by not doing it?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 07:34 PM
2

Talk to your lawyer. In my experience, I moved out to stop the turmoil for my kids. But that meant either agreeing to a temporary agreement where she gets them 70% of the time. Or we wait for a court date in like three months and have utter chaos. I am 90% sure if I had stayed it would mean a TRO to kick me out.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 05:53 PM
2

To be fair she has a real disability. But she is also on disability insurance so has real income. That said, she could work if she had to.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 07:07 PM
1

So I would guess that you’d be ok if you gave them money beforehand. It’s not like there is a law saying you must tell your wife everything you do financially. At least that I know of. After separation I’d be extremely careful. As always talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 01:49 PM
1

She does not. Without them she would be struggling massively and her expenses would be much larger. Mowing, changing a light bulb, lifting heavy objects etc etc
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 11:54 AM
1

Was the money to your parents before or after you started to divorce. If it was your wife doing the same thing what would you do and would you know?
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/22 04:13 AM
1

I’m so sorry you had to deal with that. I was just reading another thread where a man was sharing custody with his ex 50/50. She has just gotten out of freaking jail for domestic violence against him. The system is definitely skewed.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 11:23 AM
1

She has temporary primary custody. Not sole. 90% sure she is asking for sole now as a negotiation tactic. But it’s so demeaning.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 11:00 AM
1

Have you retained a lawyer? Those things vary by state, and a lawyer is going to be Abel to answer your questions.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 12:55 AM
3

But he didn’t use it? Would it really make sense to throw kids into splitting time with a parent they haven’t even visited with in multiple years? Why doesn’t he just start with supervised visits and build his relationship with his kids?
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 08:19 PM
3

Luckily I am an avid photographer so I have plenty of those.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/22 02:38 AM
15

I can definitely relate. Divorce is a huge shift. This weekend is my first proper weekend alone without moving chaos. I have a huge list of things I want to do and yet I have no clue what to do all weekend. It’s going to be a long process of resetting big parts of my life.
/r/Divorce_Men12/08/22 02:08 PM
11

I would talk to your lawyer. My understanding of one party consent is you have to be one of the parties in the conversation. I’d be really careful about a recording of your ex and a friend.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 08:56 PM
1

Do you want a divorce? Sounds like you should try to work on your marriage. Get counseling and give it a real try. At the same time be smart about finances and don’t buy a house together.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/22 04:34 AM
5

Divorce reveals people as they really are, and unfortunately your ex is really a narcissist it sounds like. Mine too. It totally sucks, but you will be better off in the long run without her. Stay strong.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 10:44 AM
5

Yup. Get the thoughts out of your head and onto paper.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 11:15 AM
5

Talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 03:24 AM
6

What’s in it for you other than vengeance?
/r/Divorce_Men04/08/22 03:06 AM
1

I think they are, but they shouldn’t be your whole case. I would find the most obvious few and narrow down to like a 90 second highlight reel.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 04:41 PM
1

Single those sound bites out from the two hours.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 04:06 PM
1

Does the audio show physical abuse on her part? My guess (also not a lawyer) is that no one is going to care about verbal abuse from her to you (and yeah that totally sucks). The police certainly aren’t going to listen to two hours of your ex yelling at you, they deal with far worse (again just a guess on my part, and I agree that it’s bullshit).
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/22 04:20 PM
2

The problem is men aren’t all good, a lot of us are truly properly assholes. That said the divorce laws do seem to have shifted awfully far towards women’s right.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 08:20 PM
1

My (soon to be ex) wife went through getting disability. It’s all about getting your doctor on your side.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 08:04 PM
1

Was there a guardian ad lidem involved? They can help determine what is actually in the best interest of the kids. Also is the father on disability? Can he work? This is America after all, I’d you can work, the state expects you to.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 11:24 AM
2

I hope you are right and the courts see how controlling she is. She’s doing all of this under advice from her lawyer I am sure. It’s like a chess game, but she has no issues playing dirty and downright cheating.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/22 03:00 AM
10

Oh, get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 02:38 AM
5

Figure out why she is so angry. Was it something you actually did? Or is that her nature? I’m finding my STBX is really showing her true colors. Angry, wicked, controlling, narcissistic. Just wish I had known earlier. Not saying yours is, but if that’s her, no amount of attempted civil conversation will help.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 02:26 AM
3

That’s the first I’ve heard that the incomes need to be equal (not that I am remotely an expert). I get the point of alimony so that one spouse doesn’t get completely screwed. But it can’t come at the literal and figurative expense of the other. What does YOUR lawyer suggest? Edit: Also does the alimony end ever? And what happens if you get a raise? Or lose your job?
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 02:11 AM
4

That’s exactly what she wants. Believe me, my STBX is completely following the false accusations playbook right now as well. Actively trying to ruin me.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/22 11:41 AM
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