Early days advice?

Eve-3 · 2022-06-26T23:23:38+00:00

Get temporary orders that make custody time clear so you don't have to fight every single day about the same crap.

JuneCleaversMudFlaps · 2022-06-27T01:07:00+00:00

Get a lawyer and file. Once you file you can get temporary orders in place that will give you some sort of control, otherwise you do not have any ground to stand on. Document everything too. If she starts getting wild, or weird in any way (in regards to the kids), you want a trail of evidence. This is especially true if she tries any sort of parental, or familial isolation.

pegleg_legal · 2022-06-27T04:12:36+00:00

It only takes one to make war but two to make peace. You need to give peace one solid shot, but then you really need to be proactive in defending yourself and your kids. Which will likely mean going on the offensive to take back the initiative in the divorce.

Firmly and calmly let her know that you believe there is nothing worth going to war over and her current direction means that the bulk of the family's property and assets will go to the lawyers. If she's okay with that, there's nothing you can do but fight.

Second, you both have totally equal right and access to the children. Stop asking permission. Don't expect reciprocity. By avoiding conflict, you are just appeasing her. Hitler showed us how that goes.

I put this together because this is how most of us get fucked in the process:

https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/us6mw3/8_mistakes_men_should_avoid_during_divorce/

dday_throwaway3 · 2022-06-27T11:33:27+00:00

Until you have a court-ordered parenting plan, you don't need her permission to take your kids anywhere. Do not allow her to be the gatekeeper.

4rdfun · 2022-06-27T17:01:29+00:00

Good luck man, this stuff is hard. Sounds like she may be using the kids to get back at you which is true in my case. Just make sure you're careful about moving out and if you do, get those overnights or it could hurt your long term custody.

Early days advice?

Crosspost "Early days advice?" from /r/DivorcedDads:

Comments

Title	Early days advice?
Author	gtivr4
Upvotes	3
Comments	7
Date	June 26, 2022 10:35 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/vlgats/early_days_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/early-days-advice.1121343 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121343