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henrycatalina Archive

View 4 posts and 476 comments by henrycatalina on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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0

Until your turn down a woman you are friendly with but not sexual attracted. Wow be the man and said rejected woman's friends reactions.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/26 08:48 PM
4

In the first paragraph you left out results and performance that greatly influence attractiveness. Physical appearance is both genetic and a result of some discipline in life. Talent is a clue to future sucess but over time, it is results. Merrit is measured in many ways against competition and options, and compared to what you think is a standard. One needs to separate sex for sex and sex in a potential relationship. Sex just for sex has become normalized as a stage in life. I think and obseve …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/26 11:54 AM
–

Women are not more advanced psychologically. They have a different life experience. You did admit you put yourself behind development by continuing to be childish and then letting parents dominate your life starting. Just start where you are and gain experience. Be safe and stop worring about your lack of sexual experiences. You don't need to pour out your life story and virginity. You do need to catch up. Wasting life in the past and regretting it gets you nowhere.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/26 12:48 PM
3

Average is not the standard. Acceptable is the standard. This goes for both men and women. 50 years ago both men and women were not so overweight and also there were not so many overly fit men and women.b
/r/PurplePillDebate17/07/26 01:01 PM
2

All the best! You are the man!
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/26 11:42 AM
1

Men tend to organize in hierarchy. Thats how leadship is supported. The leader can maintain the role through one or more traits seen by others. The few all female groups I've experienced organize more collaboratively to get buy in from everyone. The leadership still makes the ultimate decisions. A mix of both is useful and one needs to know wen to be matriarchal or patriarchal. Leaders know they are judged. Everyone should know they are judged. No one gets a free pass to act and do as they pleas…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/07/26 11:58 AM
3

Claude left out that your wife operates on emotions without a moral compass. I don't think the word sane applies. It is manipulation by her to have your loyalty and responsibility for your children used to allow her freedom. Do not trust her as she only looks out for herself when she wants to chase an emotion.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/26 11:35 AM
2

I am unsure about the age being the issue. I think it has more to do with shallow thinking and appealing to emotions. Wanting to be liked and telling the electorate what they want to hear is all too easy. Humans are emotional first and rational second. We survive danger by emotions but thrive being rational. Read the History of Christianity to understand the Catholic Church and leadership. Read the History of Socialism. It predates capitalism. John Lock explains capitalism. Karl Marx communist m…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/26 10:12 AM
2

Many men thrive on having a mission in life. Not all, but many. Many women also thrive on nurturing and creating a home (mission). But I obseve that some of both get board or jealous of the life others have, or stop finding fulfillment in daily struggles. Sometimes this leads to blaming others, or escaping mentally or physically. Sometimes marriages drag forward all negative events and each new negative event is amplified by the past. I've got no secret formula. I try hard not to let resentments…
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/26 09:53 AM
3

I don't think your wife's perspective is uncommon in women of all ages in the modern world. Men are subject to the same urge to abandon the struggle of normal adult life. The not attracted issue is something I've heard from my wife of 49 years. Its a statement I think is anchored in wanting to change the present and perceived future. Temporary or permanent is TBD. The actions I obseve are deadbedrooms, or generally disagreeable, and separation with like infidelity. I don't buy men or women blami…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/26 11:51 AM
2

I am 72 and you can be both right and wrong. Many of us were born to take advantage of the 90s and prospered. But that was possible with 90 hour weeks in the 80s. We viewed the old men in our industry as not seeing the future. We were right. I am trying to get my company to be taken over by those younger. It isn't the money I seek but keeping my staffs careers and income for their families growing. You are absolutely correct that some old men and women become stuck on success in a world that no …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/07/26 11:33 AM
2

Who prescribe them? Since there are supposedly a multitude of genders, is there a dictionary of every gender role? Who decides the gender roles? It can't be just the patriarchy as I'd think the patriarchy only recognizes two sexes. I think you mean the patriarchy defines roles for the two sexes.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 04:45 PM
2

Your last paragraph is the human condition that leads to endless wars and never settled resentments. But in the past, before my lifetime....fill in the blank.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 01:15 PM
4

Are you serious? Relationships are supposed to be mutual service endeavors. Am I seving my wife when I am constantly left lists of home renovation she wants? Is she seving my making meals and doing laundry? If my paycheck pays all the bills and hers goes to her savings, who is seving who? Gender roles create expectations between people that are settled between the two people. You are free to find your own gender role but not everyone will agree with you. Thats how it works.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/07/26 01:13 PM
2

What is lost in this argument is replacing joy and accomplishment in tasks with resentment. Im sure there are imbalances in marriages and often related to what each person enjoys and performs well. There are plenty of men cleaning the home for a sloppy housekeeper (wife). But not all women. Using the days tasks to create a bowl of resentment easily becomes emotionally fulfilling. Labeling adult chores as unpaid labor just adds to resentment. If a man is lazy he deserves to be criticized. Same fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/07/26 01:01 PM
1

Thinking out loud by debating oneself can be helpful. I'm more talking about people stating how life could be different if another action had been taken. Then continuing to harp on this to the point all future life is cursed by the past.
/r/RedPillWomen04/07/26 08:47 AM
1

Looking back to wonder if only is the a waste of time. It is human nature but a habit to avoid. My response to if only statements is "Do you have a time machine?".
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/26 12:49 PM
6

My wife; I want you to be honest with me. Then I'm honest and whatever vasilation I expressed about a decsion is nagged incessantly. No change of mind allowed. You said, you did, you are always, become a preamble to every disagreement. I had to teach myself to ignore such statements and move forward. Its going stoic and moving forward that shows you are in control. My wife: only results count. A true statement. Trying to want sex doesn't count for having sex. Trying to be successful doesn't coun…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/26 12:19 PM
0

I'd say feminism is stuck on the past of no voting rights, restrictions on credit, and a long list of historical issues that are no longer relevant. Red Pill has thousands of interpretations and most are click bate. Every time I hear about the patriarchy I then hear about all these past issues that don't exist. I agree there is an adulting problem and it is both men and women. You get rational at about 8 and from there you become an adult. Parents need to raise adults from infancy to adult as fa…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 01:04 PM
2

Toxic sexism is part of victimhood and blaming other for your own need to be respect and admired for just showing up. It is "I get to be me without regard to judgement by others." Or, focus on superficial beauty and single trait talent without receiving all your human traits that can be better. I feel is not the same as I am. I deserve is not the same as I earned. Playing to your strengths and working on weaknesses is not the same as everyone making allowances for your deficiency that you could …
/r/PurplePillDebate24/06/26 12:49 PM
6

Neither husband or wife should be excepted from auditing behavior and complaints. There can be many reasons that people cheat. No matter the reason, infidelity is weakness in not having sufficient fortitude to either end a marriage or repair it. Giving into lust is a character flaw. Lust is normal but you never act. You deserve a man with integrity that owns his behavior and decsions. Don't resent all men.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/26 01:44 PM
1

Marriage is a contract. We need to change the Marriage license to disclosure, acknowledging the risks, penalties for breaking certain clauses and grace periods for the difficult times. Plain language law would be just fine. Start with expectations common for both parties. Describe all the risks. Describe risk mitigation. Describe trade offs. Like UCC code, when you order from a factory your get 10 percent more or less than ordered. Unless you negotiate with custom terms. You get a little more or…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/06/26 11:33 AM
1

You ought to consider what you call chosen is created by the relationship. The choosing is mutual and an exchange of value. Each party needs to understand their own value. Each party needs to get signals their value to the other is recognized as attractive. Each party must be willing and capable of loyalty and changing some behaviors that degrade the relationship. Settled works when your perspective is to build a life together. That means the foundation is stable enough to create a mutually bene…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/26 11:43 AM
1

It is stressful. It is never ending responsibility. Parents are not perfect and we learn as we go. Raising kids is an art and not all science. We don't often remember our own early years. We were the little gobblins. No one is prepared. Just try to be a quick study. Avoid resentment. Let it pass quickly. Children are not very rational until about age 8. Some aren't rational for a decade or more later. I like to read stories of Pioneers. Kids grew up fast and had to be responsible by 8 to 12. You…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/26 10:21 AM
2

Infants give you the mental strength for what happens in the future. Rising to the challenge is required. It isn't easy when you had little sleep and they cry non stop. Is it an ear infection, what's wrong? Or are they just needing to feel your presence and calm protection? Infants only have their primitive crying and screaming. You have a mature means of communication and can use emotional control. You can't reflect the Infant emotions. Yes it is hard, but you ought to be proud to take on the r…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:26 AM
2

I was lucky to be prosperous when our kids were young. In 2002 my financial life imploded. We built it back. You opportunity to help raise your brother should have been a blessing. I see my my life that way. I hope you and your brother are close. Some men want a wife that is a mother who serves them. Some men want a trophy wife, some want a partner sharing a few tasks but mostly splitting to each parties talents. All married people discover the friction between them. Just avoid adding more sand …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 11:04 AM
1

I consider people 150 or 250 years ago. I wonder how many people were complaining about having little children. One was fortunate to be alive and have healthy children. If your kids are acting independent at four, you are doing a great job. The object of raising kids is make them responsible adults without breaking their youthful energy. Children are sponges that sense your emotions, hear your words and interpret your actions. Children pick up behaviors the same or opposite parents.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:56 AM
2

Why is that necessary to have it all on one spouse? In a marriage you divide tasks and share others. The worst situation is failing to appreciate the sole tasks you each take on and fail to share tasks like chores that each can perform. Your life is always all on youself. Going to blame on others immediately, although justified sometimes only blinds you from a solution. Resentment all leads to contempt. Resentment is self enforcing emotion. Each spouse will most definitely have reasons for Resen…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/26 10:47 AM
1

How smug. We had twins after 3 kids and I got up for 230 and then the other 3 off to school. No big deal. I just hate whining about normal human life. Of course my wife had her care time. Mine was 6 to 8 pm. Them night feeding, kids sick at night and school lunches packed and to the bus
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:43 PM
3

I grew up 2nd in 9 kids. We had 5 kids. Of course we started young so by 40, all were over 8. Kids must be the focus and not yourself. It isn't easy but a wonderful opportunity to struggle and succed. You aren't their friend but responsibile to guide them. Each child is different and half is baked in. The magic is learning how to guide children to success. Ours were not all brilliant but all struggled and learned to use what they had. The personality traits are known quickly. Definitely by 4. As…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 03:38 PM
-5

On #2....please, get over yourself and grow up. Parent equals adult and children are your responsibility to raise. Rise above your own emotions. Having children is not a new thing. Soft adults are the problem. The hormones issue is real. I don't argue that. But it is also a big problem in marriages. Keep romancing...so the man needs to perform while his wife blames hormones and children being children. No one gets to have power over another's body but in a marriage constant rejection leads to bi…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:43 PM
1

Have you or are you married? Sex is a specified part of the marriage contract. No one should get married thinking they can pick and choose responsibilities to provide affection, sex and support to each other. In times of sickness and long term caretaker you vow to be there. Having children and taking care of them isn't an all consuming task for which you create resentment and turn off sex. Men and women must be reasonable about when sex isn't possible in a marriage. They both must also think tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/26 12:05 PM
1

You are born with a set of cards and you play them. Life is a struggle and you learn to love that and find beauty if you look for it. Academics don't live in the same world as others and likewise those outside it don't live in theirs. Much is discovered in research universities but also much is preached as social science but is really beliefs. AI is going to radically change education unless information is controlled by institutions. History and philosophy and all the humanities are taught more …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:36 AM
1

You make yourself who you are. Society is the environment. We all make choices for reasons .
/r/PurplePillDebate01/06/26 11:08 AM
1

Dragging history forward to correct it today is an infinite task. History gives you insight. People operating on resentment over their ancestors lives will never find peace.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:55 AM
0

I remember my mother scolding my Dad for looking at young girls. That's how you stop that behavior. You shame men. I have never in 70 years observed cat calling. I have seen men look at beautiful women and comment to themselves. I've seen women stare at handsome men and make comments. I know some men are dirty old men and say stupid statements that make themselves look like perverts. I know women that swear constantly and come off crude and wonder why that isn't feminine. I'm sure your story is …
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:51 AM
1

Blaming others for one's behavior is natural human emotion that should be minimized. I hear patriarchy all the time as if it is some mythical force that commands women. That existed perhaps 80 or 90 years ago and even then on an individual level it was changing. Are women of free mind and will? Are men? I was a teenager when the pill became more common. It was like many drugs, seen as miraculous and not dangerous by most people. I'd say mothers were enthusiastic more than anyone, and also for th…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/26 10:42 AM
-2

It is women that play into sexual objectification. It is men who must then control themselves to not look or comment unless said attention is desired. Some women are so beautiful that no matter how they dress, their appearance is noticed first. Just like some men are blessed with great looks. The manosphere is a response to men wanting guidance or explanation concerning women's behavior. It isn't so much against feminism but more about the many emotions and logic of women and understand why. It …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/26 05:02 PM
1

51 year relationship. 49 married. Terrible advice. There are reasons spouses don't have sex. Using sex as a reward and no sex as punishment will drive a wedge between the spouses. Sure, there are times that anger or exhaustion block desire. But if you make that a habbit, resentment and contempt replace all other emotions. If you pay by your obedience, you get sex, is where your formula goes. Or, more likely the chore issue is tied to some long term behavior that might be your mutual interaction.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/05/26 10:55 AM
-1

Unhappy is having negative emotions. These will fill you and eventually block positive emotions. Women are often more emotional than men. Whining, acting but hurt, getting into emotional arguments, and not owning your our sucess and failures but making excuses are not attractive male behaviors. Being fat, lazy, drunk, not ambitions and not leading yourself is but the drunken captain. Your firstvl mate will mutiny and cast you off. If you do your job as captain the first mate will take over when …
/r/PurplePillDebate21/05/26 01:22 PM
1

MAGA isnt inherently racist. Sure there are fringe groups. Just like most traditional democrats are not extreme socialist or communist. Each side paints the other as evil. On both sides the groups want accountability for being reasonable about their fringe extremes. There are often many paths to address social problems.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/26 11:23 AM
4

You turn 70 and 25 is just yesterday. Old people are just older versions of some point in their life. And some young people are already old and waiting to get there.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 06:06 PM
5

My wife lost about 1.5 inches and me .5 inches. She finally looks up to me. This is like my former all short girlfriends 6" shorter. Lol. We are both about 15 pounds heavier over 50 years and we started slim. No complaints. I noticed this the other day. We started out 1" height difference.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 04:32 PM
4

You are correct about love verses experiences. I think my wife and I would either never have married or divorced in this environment. We're at 50 years in our relationship. Politics is an issue. I see it constantly. People are getting nuts on both sides to the point it is like a religious war. Everyone wants to be 100 percent right instead of each side recognizing the other has a point and figuring out a trade off. There is just too much one sided media congratulations any viewpoint. OLD would h…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/26 12:04 PM
2

Nothing has changed in my 7 decades of life except the retail shopping choices for mates and products has expanded exponentially. Walmart and Amazon smother the small retailer. OLD and social media over power in person engagement. And, many people just rent instead if buying because it is cheaper short term. Buying hidden value and renovation to add value might be better, but then often one just flips and moves on.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/26 10:40 AM
1

The last part is the best and true or just being funny?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 06:11 PM
1

Which resulted in broad societal wealth. Of course there are fringe downsides like all of human history. Polyogony (many wives) is the alternative for more of history. I think the issue is shopping habbits. Men mostly just shop with intention and good enough unless it is very important to them. Many women either shop only the luxury brand or more common in my experience an overlooked quality bargain. But, with OLD, there is an illusion of bargain luxury brands while the men are often just needin…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/04/26 01:24 PM
2

You keep popping each year. You need to put yourself first. Buy a van, travel and tell you wife she is on her own. We first communicated on Deadbedrooms. Your health is paramount. I hope you find a way.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/26 01:49 AM
–

Not true. Casual sex can be starfish or engaged. Married sex after many decades can be just doing it to highly passionate. Desire is created before sex. It is context of the lead in to passion. Feeling desired is your interpretation of the sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/26 11:26 PM
2

90 percent of 1 percent is .9 percent. Generalizations are more accurate when we have personally experienced them as well as our friends. Bad boy passes that test. It happens in our personal experience. All men and all women have capacity for violence. The magnitude of violence is more for men unless weapons are involved. Many women seem to expect men should not respond to female violence inflicted on them.Men know violence on other men easily results in violence on them. I heard violence betwee…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/04/26 07:07 PM
1

Casual sex is not inherently wrong. It only has consequences when effects are experienced later. I think the effects on later relationships affect some people and not others. Some brains and life up through that relationship framed make sex a deeply felt experience. People tend to protect their own views and experiences in others. There are lots of men and women that fall in love and can logically try and not judge sexual pasts. Many get over the initial reactions and feel their relationship and…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/04/26 12:42 PM
3

Everything you mention comes from wealth. Everyone pulling their own weight and contributing allows for all your rights as you describe them. It doesn't take much imbalance and turmoil to create distorted and contemptuous views if the world. You are correct that there are no state mandated girlfriends. I think the bigger issue is people in general cant see other view points. Opinions have become dogmatic religions.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/04/26 02:17 PM
–

All dating apps did was allow women to think they can find a 100 percent match. I'd say most marriages are at best 80 percent aligned. You are find people change around a core personality that more visible when conflict is resolved. Being right by affirmation of others is a modern theme. Women spend 80 percent of consumer spending shopping is a carry over skill. Most men are targeting a specific item and don't waste hours saving insignificant money. My generalization. Men do suffer from the same…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/04/26 06:34 PM
2

Males being naive is more the issue. Both men and women can project that another can be trusted and not turn on them. Women close off their subreddits as they do not want any debate.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 11:23 PM
10

Go on women over over 60 subreddit to view a real echo chamber. About 1 in 5 posts seems a happily married woman that enjoys her husband. No men shall post. No questions. A safe place it is to get mostly supportive input for your personal views. In my opinion, this is just normal female behavior. Security within the group is found in being agreeable with the consensus. I see this in my wife when she has her once a week dinner with two women that have Trump deranged views. For the next two days m…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/26 11:31 AM
2

I don't think conservative or liberal is an issue unless either wife or husband becomes fixated on external politics and external validation of behaviors. In both conservative and liberal extremes I see no ability to debate facts and consider a blend of both viewpoints. The virgin bride and the past doesn't matter are two sides of the same mindset. Both fail to acknowledge that each viewpoint affects emotions, and that the one not fitting perfection has some obligation to convince the other they…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/03/26 01:37 PM
4

The belief that a virgin bride in itself will lead to happiness is false. Maybe it would avoid some emotions but it doesn't mean you will have great sex, your wife won't be disappointed in you in general for missed expectations, won't get pulled into an affair, has a pleasant temperament, and won't try to control you. The above undesired outcomes of wife behavior are often a reflection on the man. Not always, but narrow thinking is a trait. Trying to live to perfect behavioral standards is impos…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 05:45 PM
3

There are A Holes across the political spectrum and both sexes. Everyone calm down and judge people on exactly how they act with independent thought. For all politcal spectrum, think for yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/26 02:54 PM
1

This is so true. Not all women, but some men and some women lose interest in sex. I think those people that learn sex has power are the most likely to use that first. Give or withhold sex depending on getting what they want. Relationships are always about exchanging value. Emotions or material, it is all exchange.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/03/26 01:11 PM
1

In retrospect, I passed up lots of potential great women because of looks. I would choose my wife again, but just saying that 50 years later you recognize there were lots of women with great mate potential. Women do the same thing. The might realize late that some guy who liked them but wasn't that sexy, later was a successful professional and she might have had a more wealthy life. My wife says stuff like this as fleeting thoughts. Looks count for men but also character. Personality is apparent…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/03/26 01:03 PM
6

There are ex escorts on YouTube that explains how their clients so often sought intamcy. Just sex does not tell the whole story. Like many things in our world and for history, there is good, evil, secondary effects and judgements generalized. I can understand how more than a few men pay for sex and limited time with intamacy. Unless women are forced into prostitution, it is voluntary. And what about sugar baby relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/03/26 02:08 PM
1

What i saw there was a range of reasons for no sex. Deadbedrooms was very good when it started. I got kicked off when I suggested that the contrast between masculine and feminine can be the issue. Contrast can be a necessity. Men can turn into doormats. That just makes the DB worse. Men and women get obese and sloppy. DB Women or men get limerance for others and compare a spouse. Why didn't I marry someone like that? Affairs get started in DBs or are the reason. Women go through menopause and de…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/03/26 02:12 PM
1

Go read on deadbedrooms and you see mismatched libidos are both sexes. 50 years ago I saw this. Not all men are the same. In our 30s we were 5 to 7 a week. A friends wife said her husband was good at 1x a month. It varies.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/03/26 09:19 PM
22

This is teenage thinking. I am thinking about the kids, the responsibility she has and overall society behavior. If you found a wallet would you return it with the cash or keep it?
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 08:09 PM
29

You have no integrity. You very clearly describe the widowed mothers plight and clearly stated your intentions. Such behavior would normally invite shame. Just because she won't dump you does not mean you can't end the relationship. A man of integrity would recognize he should not create a false hope easily created in the widows emotions that you may reflect her feelings. She can't find a better match with you as an FB. I can understand your behavior with single women who just want to have fun a…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/03/26 07:59 PM
-8

This study used computer simulated male grey monochromatic nude models and seems more a study in statistical discussion than any useful information. Studies like this are designed to be completed within funding. While our ancient ancestors certainly bared all, I am sure food on the table, respect as a leader, and peer ls following you had a much larger effect. A lone big guy with a big penis is not going to survive. However, our modern world is not so difficult for survival and thus women have s…
/r/BlackPillScience01/03/26 09:06 PM
1

Many marriages before birth control were predated by biologically success copulation. Then men had to do the right thing with the woman or the baby was usually given for adoption. Once women weren't going to get pregnant, they could filter out hormonal attraction only from long term. My family lore has passed down the lessons of teen passion. OPs post describes competing for the seemingly best options without the ingredients needed today. Without being a virgin, she is but trying to set rules fo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/26 01:09 PM
17

100 percent your observations. I'm sure sometimes some women just click with the guy quickly. Most of the time, its learn how to play together as symphony and not a single gong.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/02/26 07:40 PM
4

This is a healthy relationship. After 50 years together we just admit what each of us are good at and avoid the trap of 50/50 same tasks. As my wife has worried about other wives...what if her husband dies, she is clueless about the finances? So there should be awareness of what each does, but not contempt that one is doing a traditional man or woman role.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/02/26 01:26 AM
–

The men that can get sexual variety do not often settle down quickly. The men who get occasional sex with good enough women can settle down and bond. The men getting no sex often can't get their equal in women because they want better.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/02/26 03:53 PM
-1

You are ignorant of history. There were very wealthy single women in ancient Rome. There were taxes made to try and force single people to marry and have children. It didn't work. Societies and behaviors change over the centuries. We don't live in those times now, so they are irrelevant to men and women today. No doubt at times you are correct. Monogamy is optimal for children and society peace. There are certainly trade offs for all when considering happiness. Generational support and relative …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/26 06:38 PM
1

Yes. Divided power, people are all flawed.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/26 03:11 PM
16

Just stop giving any one a break except for demonstrated performance. Meritocracy should be the goal.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/26 10:41 PM
3

My wife told me why she married me. I painted beautiful paintings and the sex was really great. She could have married better but talents clouded her objective mind. It all worked out.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/26 08:04 PM
–

Everyone settles first and then should grow to love and be committed to your choice. But the settling assumes a minimum warranty of presumed future reliability and performance. It is necessary to perform the maintenance but you need the tools that work in the relationship. Men are attracted to all kinds of women and it isn't just looks. Either sex that takes the attitude of consciously thinking they are so much better than a spouse should not get married.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/26 02:45 PM
1

Men try to sleep with 9/10, yes. Succed at 1 to 5 maybe, settle for 5 to 8 yes. Settle all the way down the scale is possible. A few men can get the 9/10. These men don't settle unless they lose value. Men's value changes with age and performance in life.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/01/26 01:57 PM
1

I was making a calculation in jest, but after the post realized it is about 15 percent of the week available.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 08:19 PM
2

99 percent? 24 hours per day. Assuming some flirting, kissing and sex every few days on average over a month. Add in communication of desire and mutual but different maintained abode and administrative tasks. Flirt and express desire and respect, 10 minutes per day. Support the mutual house hold without resentment 1.5 hours per day. 90 minutes. Doing things together for mutual enjoyment but not sex. 16 hours per week, and day 120 minutes per day. Foreplay and sex average of 30 minutes but a rang…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/26 01:07 PM
5

Because many women have sex with many men, and select men have the same options, the superficial attributes become as important as long term valuable traits. This started in the late 60s and just increased every decade. Women in their 60s and 70s see nieces and daughters marrying the provider good guys after all the bad boy boyfriends and world experiences. The envy is not subtle. Some of these old women married from sexual bonding to one of their early boyfriends. Some married the guy with a fu…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 03:05 PM
1

Water is wet. This hasn't changed in eons except for Sheryl Sandbergs advice to date them all. (Bad boys, through the best hypergamous options). Attraction needs a rational filter. Modern dating made the filter optional until needed. Men always needed to become a catch. Women needed to be selective and improve or maintain value. Men determine women's value and women men's value.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/26 02:48 PM
2

I am reading your conversation on this topic. The forgiveness of sins assumes one can accept they sinned. Redemption is not "that's in my past and I was different then, so don't judge me". Getting into sex work at 15 and using baptism to be a better person is a ceremony marking commitment. The act itself is symbolic. Behavior will tell. A ceremony is useless without integrity. There is a women on YouTube that was in a sexless marriage and then became a stripper and the escort and madam. She is n…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/12/25 06:40 PM
5

Are you married and have children? Have you personally negotiated the responsibility of running a household with a man in todays world? If I used standard wages and time to calculate my wife and my labor over our 50 years and 5 kids it is likely to be even or on my side. We divide by tasks we are best at. We share stuff that just a chore (cook, dishes, cleaning, some yard work). My wife resents cooking but that is her issue. She love laundry an dislikes me going it. I never let her paint in home…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/12/25 02:41 PM
6

I am not getting a divorce but have gone through considering divorce. I also own a business for the last 43 years and have delt with irrational and rational customers. I have recently witnessed two grey divorces. Your advice applies to the settlement or all previously agreed contracts for which obligations are not met. Lawyers can spend many billable hours convincing your of your rights and what you deserve. Or they can tell you settlements may be not fair but just and its best to create a range…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/25 07:13 PM
9

Social media made the fringes of society celebrities. What had been buried or kept limited and part of human nature for eons is now in full view. The range of female and male behaviors that were almost always labeled as bad through history, now have an audience producing income. Without social media and digital communication, all such human behaviors are limited by local communities and shame. Once shame is replaced by self perception of righteousness, social media will easily support your confi…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/25 01:36 PM
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I'll looked this up. No doubt some women had credit. Prior to the 1970s, marriage too often dictated the terms by which women accessed credit. Since married women’s property was also owned by their husbands, “only unmarried women could independently form contracts and engage in litigation…” the author of To Her Credit writes in her book examining the finances of women during America’s 18th century Revolutionary period. She found that“[women in Boston and Newport] appeared in debt litigation as c…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 11:46 AM
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The same is true of a man without adequate income. Credit is given with sufficient proof of an ability to pay it back. I don't doubt that sometimes men in charge of credit and lending made decsions based on their own biases. Race, sex, job stability, and knowing the family could all play a role. I observed that in the early 80s, women bankers lent me money based to some extent on looks and charisma. I was loyally married and had children. I was performing in business but at network events there …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/25 11:29 AM
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Women opened bank accounts 50 and 60 years ago and much farther back is history. Credit cards got issued to anyone with good credit in the late 60s and 70s. However you might need to be employed over age 25 or 26. Credit cards were rare through the 60s. Married people are responsible for each others debts. So of course a wife without employment needed to get a husbands signature. Not so if she was single and earning income. Men and women can be a burden to each other or an addition. Thats the re…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/25 07:36 PM
1

The redpill was originally lots of observation about how women behave, their emotions, attraction factors, reactions to male behavior and how some of all this is the evolved brain. This isn't hatred but more guidance. I think that social media has let women express any negative emotion and get female confirmation. This only increases the tendency to never apologize and take not take accountability. The so called hate of women is a combination of disgust over promiscuous women, a withdrawal from …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/25 08:10 PM
4

At age 71 (me) and my wife 72; I can tell you that wife Goggles change the tint and focus based on behavior, mood, and maintaining intamacy. My wife's husband Goggles changed with how I compare to other husbands and male relatives. (Finances, my weight, activity level, her long-time friends view of me.) I won't argue that some men with big egos leave first wives for younger women. Women also leave husbands to fulfill their unmet needs. And both can leave for having abusive and irresponsible spou…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/25 01:07 PM
1

In a marriage and the relationship before, you can't take back what you say or do. You can try to bury it under a better relationship, but it always lurks there. It isn't the words only, but how everything after they are spoken becomes potential context.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 11:34 PM
4

I think right wing and left wing confuse the subject. I think we have the rise in justifying violence to fight words instead of dialog. Everyone has a right to mate preferences. There is nothing offensive about not being attracted to some body types, faces, income and wealth, or other features. It is just success depends on knowing your own value as others perceive it and not how you want them to think.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/09/25 05:58 PM
1

Some men decide to coast and live a low spending life after divorce. Regardless of who got a better deal, some men just go with a steady job or enough to get by. They give up on women to get peace and lower expectations. And lots of men are not going to get married unless a woman meets his standards. The same for women. Women care and should care about a spouse earning ability. So a man, as you describe, is a permanently unattractive cycle.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/25 04:51 PM
1

I think you change uncomfortable to speaking your mind and accepting the response. One way to ruin and relationship is telling people what they want to hear but not the most likely truth. Being direct with questions and proposals and then accepting the answer is necessary. The above is why playing hard to get by false rejection often doesn't work. Confidence is taking the risk you might be rejected, or efforts may result in failure, but you think success is most likely. People who get easily ups…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/25 07:53 PM
0

This is age and weight balanced. If women stay not obese and are pleasant, then average mates are possible. From early teens to 30 or 40, women on average can mostly be relationship material. This works until age sets in, and then women are shocked at being invisible. Most men are invisible until most men average out in their 40s and 50s. Then average gets with average for more than looks. I am 70 and find some women ages 65 and over 70 very attractive. They are slim, smile, and ware stylish clo…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/25 08:02 PM
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The world hadn't changed, but now we make it public instead of lost in history. Social media.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 08:21 PM
1

No, fat women were never coomonly attractive in art, except in some scenes of inns painted in the 1500s and 1600s. In those, the art is to show beauty in the interactions of common people. Some women of average adipose tissue, similar to the cherubs with wings (baby angles), are seen in centuries old paintings. You dont see this in Egyptian or Greek ancient art. In the oldest statues (cave dwellers), you see large breasts and large legs cruddy carved. These are thought to idealize fertility. Men…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/25 08:16 PM
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You are correct in that each person has their right to have many sex partners. But like much in life, others may not care about your opinion and see you from their perspective. On the retroactive jelousy sub reddit, there seem to be as many men as women. Each piece of information one gets about a person creates a perception of them. Like racial judgments, our minds see different, and then social ques kick in to be reasonable in our judgments. It isn't wrong to get emotional reactions about anyon…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/25 07:06 PM
1

Not true. Men usually know their rank in attractiveness. The look for a good portion of attractive physical, personality, and demonstrated values. They ignor or tolerate little annoyances. After a while, they see what they want and need. But women can spoil this many ways. Thats another story.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/25 05:18 PM
3

Exactly
/r/PurplePillDebate12/08/25 12:41 AM
7

He is honest about being busy. You can't know if he's dating others. It seems he is organized and focused. One text a day seems really good for a driven man. Just let the next step happen, and dont get on his case about not enough texts.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/25 08:39 PM
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Please. We had 5 kids. However, we had them in our early 20s through 32. We we young, energetic, and resilient at those ages. The often major issue now is having children much later in life. I understand that today's financial issues and cost of living are a much bigger burden. There is far too much information about recognizing the great variations in psychological diagnostics. I see far too much worry about ADHD, Autism, and other variations in each child's baked in brain function. The enormou…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/25 11:13 AM
1

If Trump or others were found to have had sex with minors, then they all must be prosecuted. After reading "sex and the presidents," I think the press policy before Clinton was rational. I was not a Clinton advocate, but I now see him as a reasonable president. Bill Gates is on the Epstien list also, and I have heard Clinton is also. I wonder if these men somehow have deep-seated mental issues that prevented adolescents and developing a healthy attitude toward sex. Still, no forgiveness if they …
/r/BlackPillScience05/08/25 10:48 AM
1

You need to stop being presumptive. You create stories about who men are without careful observation. Men are not all liars. Many high achieving men are disciplined in thought and behavior. They will place expectations of loyalty on you. They are the prize and not you. You become the prize by being good enough looking but also show signs of loyalty, commitment, and most of all, respecting them and their word. Your post, boasting about intelligence and then describing a lack of introspection, and…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/25 12:02 PM
1

All good points. Is there a change in the standard deviation trend at the extremes over centuries? That can get lost in averages.
/r/BlackPillScience01/08/25 11:41 AM
4

There are two kinds of being sloppy. One is daily living habits like bathroom cleaning, making beds, a clean sink, and generally avoiding a dirty environment. The other is the type of organization that one manages. This can be related to brain types. A messy desk isn't great, but it doesn't mean you can't get stuff done. I see an equal number of women with sloppy housekeeping habits. Why do I need to clean up all the hairs in the shower and sink and bathroom floor? Why do I need to scrub the kit…
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/25 11:39 AM
1

I think you are certainly correct. I have anacdotally noticed the tall sons, tall mother correlation. And sometimes short mother and shorter son. The nutrition correlation may be most noticeable when food supplies have been at risk of weather. If anything, now we have an oversupply of food. The future impact of obesity on evolution needs to be contemplated.
/r/BlackPillScience01/08/25 10:58 AM
3

You fail to understand that some men want a mothering wife. He provides and may control, and she mothers him. Or, the two people want independent financial capability, so betabucks is a better bet than handsome average. No one is going to love you completely for who you are but rather for what expectations you created in their minds. Both sides of the relationship have conscious and unconscious expectations. The problems in all relationships start when these expectations are not being met. That'…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/25 12:09 PM
1

Marriage is sometimes like prostitution. It is sometimes transactional in having to meet provision responsibilities in order to remain attractive. Not all the time, but certainly when women and men find commitment, they remain expectations. Men and women should be taught how to be a catch. There isn't enough cold, hard evaluation by people about the nature of each other and responsible. Life is a struggle, and rewards bring temporary contentment and brief happiness. It isn't an emotional history…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/07/25 12:36 PM
6

The face does make a difference. How you carry yourself and present can add inches. Im 5' 8" and over my 70 years obseve the following; My son at 6' 2" and very simulate face has been king on dating apps. He is also financially successful. In the last 10 years, I've seen young women completely misguided about finding long-term mates. Its like from 18 onward they operate on emotions and group peer thinking. A few are already responsible adults at 17. Many follow that Facebook executive who said t…
/r/BlackPillScience26/07/25 05:35 PM
2

This is great insight. Not all women are like this, but almost all women seem to cut other women slack for said behavior. I've seen generations of women gloat over some young womans hot short-term relationships. That just leaves some future husband, potentially subject to hearing that story. I know that women born in the 1920s and 30s might comment about handsome men but also remember to boost their husbands' ego. What has changed is that being opposed to husbands is as accepted as supported. Me…
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/25 02:31 PM
2

This childhood and adolescent experience cause relationship problems on both men and women. Some people have awkward stages and then blossom later to be far more attractive. As men are attractive for more than physical looks, this can occur later in life. Mid-life crisis. We dont really know McKenzie's side. People age and wealth affect them in ways that are influenced by peers. There is a peer group of women whose husbands created wealth. Other women will pedestalize them for charity and non-pr…
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/25 12:06 PM
3

Jeff is thinking with a small head instead of large one.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 09:04 PM
3

Cory's insights have always been known to the top guys, obsevered by the next rung of guys by experience (me), and unknown to men that never got chased. Women are creatures of conformity, so the peers drive their behavior. My wife's first job was all young married women, and that settled her toward marriage. If not, she'd have kept shopping, and I would have ended it 50 years ago. You need to be what she thinks you are, and she needs to admire and want you. Any attractive woman has opportunities…
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/25 06:21 PM
2

Pick good men, and the risk goes down. Men pick good women, and your risk goes down. Good is illustrated early in relationships if objectively evaluating people based on present and past behavior. People often are a combination of parental behavior copies and rejection to not be their parent.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/25 05:22 PM
3

This is a two-way street. Everyone of both sexes needs to be attractive to have motivated sex. The difference between men and women is the number of factors considered at any point in time. Men have only a few criteria, and women can have a few to dozens. Just like complaining and nagging doesn't motivate a man, complaining and begging for sex doesn't make a man attractive. Sex is always a currency. It has value to both parties.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/25 12:09 PM
9

All people settle on a spouse. The dynamic of the two people is usually apparent very early in the relationship. When sex is introduced, bonding starts at a different rate for both the man and woman. If women have had prior partners, then sex itself is not novel but a comparison. If the man meets the criteria of both masculine power and a potential good future, then sex can bond bit it takes time. Good sex for her depends on her past experiences. If she's attractive enough to get attention to ot…
/r/BlackPillScience26/06/25 12:09 PM
2

This has always been true. The change is that that peer group spanned a few generations of life experience from women with long-term marriages. The new peer group is more biased to their age bracket but also 3 generations of more and more promiscuous women, divorced women, and weaker men. Peer group behavior still has consequences, which is becoming apparent. Peer groups can say they are right, but they don't control others' judgements.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/06/25 12:10 PM
7

I wonder why the report summary didn't mention why women pursued these men? Fraternities self select men for various qualities. Men in fraternities build teams and vote leadership. They are about being men. Not all fraternities are full of misogynistic men. Then you have women pursuing these men as it's a pool of like-minded men. Some fraternities seek meek men. Some are jocks. Some are more community oriented. The ones getting the girls' attention are those with looks, height, and athletic memb…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/06/25 12:34 PM
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You could observe that boys will often self organize in hierarchical teams. They often have a sense where they stand at any time in different situations. Girls often organize a realively equal basis in groups that seem egalitarian but have lots of background overt behaviors. Men learn that life isn't equal just because you are a man. Feminsm tends to not recognize that it is impossible to avoid hierarchical organization. Now, we have men and women frustrated by not recognizing the human conditio…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/06/25 01:11 PM
1

This is a great answer. When guys think of having sex its often just the act. Obviously, the woman needs to have desire, but that desire and mood start far before the act. I've never found a very good explanation of premature ejaculation but I think it's like one of a few strokes, and it's over. I think sex is an art like playing music or visual art. Each time, you can make it different. Sometimes, it's a few notes, and other times, symphony. You can't play violin like base drums. Foreplay is th…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/25 11:43 AM
1

Redpill is more about observations of motivations and each sexes' theoretical evolved emotions. That's my take on how it helped me. Much of society and religious rules are to control these human emotions found between men and women. I was able to improve my long term marriage by understanding my wife's emotions and explaining to her my emotions. Controlling emotions is the key behavior. I think technology has amplified the evolved human emotions. The limits of travel, your know potential mates, …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/25 01:08 PM
1

My point is that you would end up being inspirational to others. We all must ultimately be self-motivated. That's not everyone at every point in time. That's why hierarchy develops. Who people associate with has a great influence on development.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 11:28 AM
2

I think the problem is that children from an early age need to be given responsibilities. From age 8 to 13, responsibility with consequences prepared people to be independent. Working boring monotonous jobs in high school and reporting to a boss is valuable as some course work. Learning to enjoy the struggle and persevere through failure and success is necessary to learn early in life. I noticed that employees who played high school sports and college are usually easier to coach with helpful cri…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/25 11:23 AM
1

Those are equalized, or you are fake. Got to be competent to have true confidence Carrisma is the sum of the others. Assertiveness is an ass without competence. Looks without the rest is but dumb. At any point in your one's youth, one of these can win women. As you age you need them all. Don't rest on your laurels m.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:44 PM
3

Men need cohorts of like-minded men who hold them accountable. Who they hang out with makes a big difference. Men want respect for achievements. But they need to demonstrate competence. I went to college in the 70s. There were few men who were mom's boys needed adult supervision. Some guys were slackers. But, in our fraternity, the alumni, and us, we set goals for leadership and recruiting a diverse group with a common commitment to excellence. That's one of the aspects of segregation of sexes i…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/06/25 06:37 PM
0

Cooking and cleaning and child care are adult activities. I wanted a family and children, and we had five kids. That's life and a legacy of struggles and wins. My wife and I are both independent people and value our responsibilities.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 01:14 PM
2

I'm not exposed to this directly as there is no HR in my small company. I have recently heard my wife repeat her doctor relay that my working at 70 is a male ego and trying to prove something. No discussion or knowledge of why, commitment to my employees, my wife's past comments about her loser, and wasted career comments from a few years ago or other background issues. We are past the past, but the "male ego" comment was not appropriate.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/25 12:41 PM
2

It means all the men they pursue or contact are trash. Just like men who think rejection is hate. Your comment is valid. The problem for men and women and each demographic is being judged by the worst in their groups that make the most noise, news, and stir up emotions.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/05/25 05:13 PM
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This entire thread seems mostly focused on a presentation in pictures and not real life. All the physical presentation features and "specifications requirements" have always been present, but in the context of reputation, it is said by others. Being a victim of your sex, physical state, race, family, your selected intamate partners, government, and technology demotivates your life and drags down others. Life isn't about just being yourself lived by how you presently feel. Faith or not, success a…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/05/25 12:08 PM
4

All these red, black, and blue pills are all mixed up. The color is mud. Some humans behave at different times in different ways. I am under the impression that black pills are based on the looks and status of men relative to attraction by women. I'd add intelligence and frame and kindness, and finally, comparison to all options. The emphasis on each attribute changes depending on age, life situation, and moods.
/r/BlackPillScience24/05/25 12:52 PM
4

I think there are many women, my wife included, who dated a guy who was seemingly the top guy. They pick out the women who are at their peek. Later, the women see him as a jerk. Trump is also used to emotionally detached decisions to hire, fire, and say and do as he says. Read the book, sex and the presidents. JFK was far more the Chad as well as LBJ. The difference is that the press kept it covered up until President Clinton.
/r/BlackPillScience23/05/25 12:14 PM
15

Women are accountable for their own behavior. Removing all shame and recognition of human nature, all wisdom of courting and evaluation of compatibility and motivations before having sex is a woman's problem. Baby boomers (me) started this in the 60s, it would have been the same in the 70s as now if we'd had Tinder. The same human tendencies existed then. Now, we have some mothers who behaved similarly but without unlimited choices. Thus, there is no judgment. Women can be choosy but forget thei…
/r/BlackPillScience22/05/25 12:42 PM
1

Lol. 48 years and counting.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/25 12:53 AM
5

This reads like advice for aspirations. No one could ever adhere to all this 100 percent. I'm also Catholic, but my parents added humor and recognized the reality of sexual awakening in adolescence. I think the problem you describe is the strictness of trying to ignore our human reality. I think some of what you describe is being polite and controlling emotions to match the appropriate setting.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/05/25 12:39 PM
5

Yes. My wife stuck by me, and 25 years later, we are good. Ever so often, she'll bring up my impulsive financial disaster. The best move was to separate our retirement and savings so she's not exposed to my business liabilities. The problem he'd face if he disclosed the possible $1M and she calls off the divorce is that she'll likely always think he's just too risky.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 04:20 PM
4

Is this true? Or click bait? Assuming it's true, I'd say you will be splitting this 50-50 or worse for you. You did get her true colors. I did something like this but didn't get the spectacular recovery you got. My wife took decades not to bring it up constantly. Losing resources with children involved is a visceral deep emotion for women (wife/mother), in my opinion. Get thee to a lawyer and find out what likely happens in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/25 11:29 AM
7

Im going to say your post is spot on. As a man, I can approach sex as just getting to the act or like the conduct of an orchestra or painting a masterpiece. In the former, it's just a single bell, and the latter builds up. There are certainly times it's a passionate few minutes of a 60s hit. But most of the time, you build up to sex. You left the orchestra tune-up. You listen and give positive feedback. You let each part build. The enter closed eyes issue is stupid to worry about. That's all in …
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 11:22 AM
0

Not laws, but his administration added DEI requirements/ preferences to many grant funding applications. This started earlier than Biden. Both parties do this in each political cycle. They add arbitrary preferences to funding. I don't look at overt actions related to your border question. I look at the results. I've got no issue with legal imagination. Not enforcing laws is the same effect as changing them. It encourages otherwise law-abiding people to violate laws and regulations.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/05/25 10:35 AM
0

Trump is a direct result of a few previous administration policies. Trump policies will no doubt have a counter reaction. Young men voted for trump because the last administration chose to focus on fringe policies and silly policies like pronouns. The open border was chaos. Biden administration did have some useful programs that continue. The same type of irrelevant criteria for grants before Trump are being replaced by equally superficial criteria. The bigger issue is the self-righteous attitud…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 05:37 PM
1

Seriously? Stop comparing the fringe groups in the sexes. Masculinity and feminity do not define specific temperaments and personalities. In some endeavors, many men have advantages. Im others, women get the advantages. Showing and expressing feelings when in a situation only facts, logic, and be cool headed is mostly useless. Being cold and logical in an emotional situation is brainless. Responding to venting with emotions instead of listening or trying to solve the problem shows a lack of grow…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/05/25 01:12 PM
1

I know because it is obvious. When I say improvement, that implies working off a level of competence and existing value. He is improving as well as my daughter. Our children picked up traits from both my wife and me. This daughter is more stoic like me. Her (daughters) husband had too much responsibility thrown at him because of his alcoholic mother. She meant well (the mother) but never admitted until her 60s that she was a closet alcoholic. My daughter's husband is dedicated and works hard. Im…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/25 12:00 PM
3

Mother's hypergamous nature regarding daughters. I've been through this before. You need to consider making sure the guy and your daughter are looking to build a life. My wife did this with one son in law as our daughter dated him. It took years to get past the uncomfortable situation. The guy is a good and reliable man and caring father. Their relationship is not ours. (Wife and mine). The same happened again after another daughter was married. I finally got my wife to let them work out their o…
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/25 04:12 PM
2

At R/retroactive jealousy are many people who can't get past their partners' past. Some of their emotions are just natural reactions to a promiscuous past. The saddest are those who have a single standard of virginity without any way to forgive pasts. This is one reason I admire your story. It also shows how judging one's past sincerely leaves the door open to redemption to a better life. Too many people do not understand the prodigal son biblical story.
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/25 12:08 PM
7

Your story should be inspiring to others. There is so much emotional turmoil in relationships from the teen and early twenties that people lived. Adult achievement and focus was from 12 onward for centuries as death often could be anytime. A very long life was 70s. The average age of death was 50s and 60s. Many achieved great things in their mid twenties and early thirties. In large part, this was the influence of religion, and both matriarcs and patriarchy. As children grow up, they are easily …
/r/RedPillWomen13/05/25 11:52 AM
13

Growing up in the 60s, the Catholic nuns taught us that humanity gets taller because of nutrition. Now I think it is because women often select by height. Not every woman but many. However, genes work in random fashion so short women can have short sons. I observe that now, I see more tall women with tall men in the high income towns. This is even more prevalent in those areas with outdoor and work at home high income towns.
/r/BlackPillScience12/05/25 11:53 AM
19

An extremely complicated way to observe; Men will strive and serve women's interests if they are shown affection and sex. We make stuff, and if threatened, we can break stuff. Women form clicks and female friend groups with group acceptance over leadership. Got to fit in and get protection within the group. Men form teams and hierarchy from a young age. Group position is important to get women. Being on the team is also important. The team you are on is important to get women. Men are competing,…
/r/BlackPillScience10/05/25 12:50 PM
25

Competence creates confidence. Confidence without competence is acting so only good if your successful profession is acting. A facade on a shack is still a shack.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/25 12:27 PM
1

You are correct. The best time to get a successful man is when he is working to become that man. You both can bond over the discipline and sacrifice that is needed to build a life. Sometimes, ambition shows up later, but most of the time, ambition and accomplishment are inherent family expectations. If men and women follow the family culture, you can see the trend. If they rebel and goof off, then the work ethic needed to be successful is drowning in laziness. Even better can be the man who is o…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 12:49 PM
2

I think in the effort to eliminate unwarranted prejudice, there has been a side effect of avoiding judging any superficial appearance or behavior as a suspected bad character. Too smooth or too rough dress, tattoos, and hair no longer are more than decoration. The best man or psychopath can both dress well. A hells angle like jacket can be on a gental giant in videos. Good looking or not, the only way to measure and judge character is over time and by test. Dangerous in the right situation is a …
/r/PurplePillDebate05/05/25 12:07 PM
3

The last paragraph is genuine wisdom. It is best to be sex positive but understand human nature and know the risks. My parents preached that sex was necessary in marriage and long-term relationships. But, it's also powerful and clouds judgment.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 03:12 PM
2

I think women are far more influenced by peers' perceptions of men and by the behavior of friends. Peers are a big influence all through childhood and into the teens and early twenties. From observation of my four sisters, my wife, when dating, and now nieces and my own daughters, most women have boundaries but are suseptible to peer advice. So, like men, you are likely who your friends are.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 12:48 PM
1

I see the bad boy dating as most often when parents avoid judgment. Or, as my wife said, the mother is living the life she had or would have wanted.
/r/BlackPillScience04/05/25 12:41 PM
4

I enjoyed your answer. I was kind of creeped out by my now wife when we first had sex when dating. She was quite carefree about contraceptives. I developed your perspective that sex with women I'd see as long term was far more intamate. I'd had a few one night sex experiences and feared pregnancy with some girl i was barely attracted to. On the other hand, my wife before me had a promiscuous several months. The odd thing about the influence of that was our first sex was not very engaging. But it…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/05/25 12:08 AM
11

Look at your entire life ahead of you and write down simulations of all your potential choices. Write out the history of your marriage. Judge yourself and your decisions, but treat your wife's as only factual events. Put resentment and blame out of your mind. To resolve a deadbedroom, I considered all my options. Separation, divorce, staying without sex, and ultimately decided in our case no sex would end 39 years of marriage. The lack of focus affected my sleep, my career decisions, and busines…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 11:43 PM
8

You were not happily married but content. You need to consider the resentment that can build over time that then bursts out in contempt. People can justify all maner of deception because they carry a sense of being self righteous in pursuing what they think was missing. If she had divorced or single friends, then it would be extremely easy for her to get peer support in her pursuit of a new guy. I think you should reframe this as the marriage was sliding away at glacial speed, and then it seemed…
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/25 01:30 PM
1

You are correct. This hasn't changed for human history. However, sexual attraction qualities change over time. Whatever you got genetically and from your life and behavior is what you must work with. How you compare to others attractiveness is the human condition. Once in a relationship, attraction continues to depend on context. I.e. always be working to be your best and not "be youself" as everyone is prone to be natural imperfect. Men who give up because another man got blessed genetically ha…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/25 12:13 PM
28

One of my daughters joked in college with her friends that all men look the same at past 40, so marry a good one. How do you know who is a good one? Group judgment plays a big role and always has. Women like men need some level of physical attraction, but women are also more likely to respond to many other qualities. I think the summary of the study misses a point. While the study was based on physical features, it might miss how pictures (dating apps) cancel how women formerly got input from wo…
/r/BlackPillScience29/04/25 12:16 PM
4

Consider how men get great fulfillment from commitment or a mission. We often enjoy the struggle and being needed. We can be dutiful. This can work against us if our mate has selfish tendencies or has some inherent resentment from childhood obseved behavior. The more stoic you are to power through stress, the more a mate can hold back positive feedback and give the "not enough" feedback. The only way out is to end all the need for your spouses approval. You make your decisions deliberately. Swee…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 01:04 PM
7

You would go back because you are being mentally abused by your wife. You need to end the cycle of verbal and emotional abuse. Stop sugar coating your communication with your wife if you are doing this. Give her blunt truths that are clear and do not argue or get into debates. It's time for you to worry about yourself and your health. You have given your wife over a decade to change. We all have our best qualities and our weaknesses. Some spouses lean into a positive support mode to build up the…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/25 12:42 PM
4

No kidding? What an insight.
/r/BlackPillScience25/04/25 12:44 PM
1

You are correct. The same is true for feminism. Both were supposed to give men and women opportunity and guidance to be their best selves. The problem comes from using part of each movement preaching to justify avoiding being self-critical. You are always as you compare to others. We all compete and struggle to win in life. That's the joy to play the game. You can't just be yourself unless you are a hermit. Red pill was supposed to be accountable, and that attraction is what you bring to the rel…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/04/25 06:03 PM
19

I'm still married but solved the deadbedroom (mostly) and heard the "I'm not attracted to you." Also, I was fit at 62 as I am now. Sex only stopped for 18 months but had gone to the "sexless marriage" level for a few years before that. First off, stop being judged by your wife and judge yourself. Own your mistakes and success, and stop looking for her validation. Start doing what you decide is your next step in life. Accept she's detached. Indifference is the opposite of love. She has power over…
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/25 11:50 AM
8

I told my daughter to simply tell her husband his comment meant as humor was deeply hurtful. And instead of refusing to go to a military holiday ball, I told her to go. The husband is in the army reserve. Marriages can make each spouse better or worse. You start out in love, but after a while, life hits. Wrongs become bricks in a wall between you. Resentment sets the morter in place. Each little issue gets easy to use to build the wall. The argument of who put the first brick there is irrelevant…
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/25 10:40 AM
1

My point was my wife and daughters going down the divorce route as opposed to considering correcting the situation. The required changes were small. Why break up a family over a man's poor attempt at humor?
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 09:26 PM
6

My wife and two daughters went this route on one sin in law because he said some thoughtless remarks, thinking it was funny. Women generally will not recognize how a single mother that is past her peak attraction is not going to have an easy time. All women remain attractive because they won't tell each other of their true looks. I spoke to said daughter for 2 hours and explained she needed to keep her marriage off social media, avoid getting wrapped up in resentment, and go to a formal event sc…
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/25 10:42 AM
6

Her judgment of you in her statement is all about her. From her perspective, she controlled the relationship. You didn't measure in the past, but she gives you points for progress. Cold now as she realizes a power shift. In my opinion, if she wanted to change, she'd act and not be passive-aggressive.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 04:47 PM
2

Gratitude is a virtue in marriage. Say thank you to him.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/25 02:44 PM
3

Average is a deceiving statistic. There is a small percentage of men pushing past 50 sexual partners. And about a third at 0 to a a few. Reading on subs where notch counts cause retroactive jealousy gives insite to the issue. That 30 percent of men with few or none get with women having had some partners. As you state the the type of sex counts more than the number. Women often get more jealous of past relationships. Men often get jealous over sexual partners. Each sex is projecting jealousy ove…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/25 02:42 PM
3

You seen like my wife. Except she finds the care she wants and bargains down the price. She doesn't go with me but by herself. The salesman think she's a pushover. But she has mastered the art of playing the salesman by walking away until her price is met. Takes a week or months. Close the deal end of month. She drives her cares for 10 or more years. This strategy gets you the car you want and you don't overspend. Definitely get the car you want. It will make your husband happy and you also. Not…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/25 02:23 PM
1

Interesting take. Enough statistics and the standard distributions will narrow overlap to 1 percent.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/03/25 09:36 PM
1

Intimidated usually means one party is faking competence. It can be the man or woman. Boss or subordinates can both be full of BS. Men or women in positions of power should lead and not boss. Both sexes can wield power over being competent. Once you are in charge, the less you know or can directly do yourself. You need to ask and get bad news fast. You can't be emotional. Men or women in leadership that get angry easily create intimidation.
/r/PurplePillDebate10/03/25 12:24 PM
1

I read here to consider my marriage. These words are so true (below). When we first married, honesty without judgment or ridicule ruled. Needs were met. But as life's results are apparent, judgment and ridicule destroy honesty and needs and thus don't get met. Getting the honesty back is much harder than destroying it. Great words... You need to find someone you can be completely honest with, without fear of judgment or ridicule, and someone who needs you sometimes, and who you need sometimes
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/25 12:15 PM
3

It's complicated and anchored in our personalities best and worst traits. We both grew up in very large families. She is one of two sisters with several brothers. Her mom was old school where boys are princesses and girls wait on men. This left lots of resentment and temper in her. My family was a balance of each sex and all learned similar skills and had similar responsibilities. And, in her extended family resentment was an assumed relationship trait. Not so in my family growing up. Forgivenes…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/03/25 12:45 PM
2

This issue at hand was me getting lost driving in the late 1970s. Old city and no detail maps. She wouldn't let it go for the entire evening. So it wasn't that big of a deal. After a week or two, she tracked me down and apologized. No phone. I had truly moved on. You can't build a relationship without conflict resolution. You each must define behavioral boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 05:07 PM
3

I do not disrespect my wife.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 04:59 PM
4

You got this right. Long time married. Early in my relationship with my wife, i made it clear that disrespect was unacceptable. Over the log term, you won't have all wins. If they can't cheer your wins, then think about how they treat losses. You don't need to be mothered but rather respected for perseverance. I broke up once in dating over disrespect. I told her (now wife) exactly what your last line said. "I'm not going to live this the rest of my life." Wife material.... You are attracted to …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/02/25 01:06 PM
2

You left out being competitive, with ambition, confidence, and leadership. Able to take measured risk and validate from within. You make husband material sound compliant and agreeable. All you list are good traits, but it's easy to unattractive without some excitement. Men know being boring is not good. Men are mistaken about the Bad Boy meme. Husband material is a meme for not Bad Boy.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/02/25 05:09 PM
1

Where do you find such men?
/r/RedPillWomen17/02/25 11:40 PM
1

I think you point out two ways people can enter marriage. There is the old school way with blinded commitment where you must adapt unless specific boundaries (abuse, alienation of affection, etc.) occur. Or, you start with insight and recognize why you are getting married and what can end the marriage. I think this is a choice.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/02/25 02:06 PM
3

Good for you. A deadbedroom can be devastating to husbands and wives. Take on the boost and enjoy the moments. The energy you get from desire can fule a man's desire to compete and prosper.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/25 04:45 PM
1

I think you enter it with commitment sufficient to get through the low points. The commitment must be mutual. If one has doubts or, as my wife later said, oh well, if it didn't work out, we'd get divorced. We didn't get divorced, but that one side view certainly was an issue. At my lowest point with no sex and some physical abuse by her, I sure consider divorce. I did not divorce but rather set clear boundaries, and we both worked past that low point. Going in with divorce as an option means you…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/02/25 04:41 PM
1

New acronym NSS. I can attest to this, but I'll add height in the equation and your own self-image. In adolescence, if you are cute and girls like you, you gain lifelong confidence. Your height doesn't mean much. It's easy to be athletic. Or in my case my mother kept telling me I was handsome but I looked goofy. How i got a girlfriend at 15 is only explained by my personal delusion. If your looks carry forward, you carry the confidence. At 16, i looked entirely different. After about 18, the sup…
/r/BlackPillScience07/02/25 05:53 PM
1

The goodbye sex.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/02/25 12:07 AM
3

This is very true. That last part about sex and goodbye is exactly what my wife did many decades ago when she was moving 1000 miles away as my girlfriend. It was her next want and need to move to a particular city. She already had options lined up. One last sex filled weekend. She did the same thing to her ex when starting to date me. She did have and continued to have that lust, but she remained open to using that if better options were there. After marriage, the desire lasted many decades exce…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/25 06:21 PM
–

No, no, no. It's a process of negotiating, and each of you figures out which part you lead and are responsible for. It's resolving conflicts reasonably without person attacks. It's mutual respect of opinions and needs. It's letting honesty be normal by bad news not being a temper tantrum spark.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/01/25 02:03 PM
–

Most of this has changed in the 57 years since my first girlfriend and now marriage for 47 years. You sound like you are half the problem. Stop acting helpless. The real change is partly in social media, and OLD is compounded by the extension of finding yourself into one's 20s, and lastly, the pushing into one's mid thirties for having children. There are economic reasons family formation lags. Since birth control started, women have just had more years to play the field. The whole bad boy cycle…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/12/24 01:43 PM
14

My daughter and her husband started out egalitarian. She then went to law school and nagged him to get his masters. She went to marriage counciling to get over her emotions that her husband needed to keep pace with egalitarianism. They are great now and a good team. I think this also depends, as the study indicates, how the relationship started. If the guy is presenting himself as going someplace in his career or that's assumed, then falling off the track will be a problem. The same happens with…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/12/24 01:37 PM
–

I think it's all bluster. But let's see. I think this is all peakocking. There are lots of countries with high tariffs. I deal with them. The end game is a level playing field. I develop complex products, and there is no way an international supply chain is going away.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 01:53 PM
–

Politics is about winning. That requires being political and not smug. From my observation, the more educated voted for Harris because they are democrats. The Democratic Party could have been insightful instead of righteously smug. Republicans used to be really good at being country club smug. Now it's democrats. I see Trump as either failing to change anything due to trying to do too much or all his appointees and advisors realize they can't get change without collaboration. The agency staff ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/12/24 01:46 PM
0

The democrats ran a terrible candidate and tried to create her reputation without her participation. Her debate with Trump was a win. But after that, it was all pleading for money and only going to friendly media. The independent voters decide elections. These are thinking voters. They saw two imperfect candidates, and one was a clear leader who led the battle. And that independent block of voters is tired of focusing on sexual orientation and woke useless issues that won't make for prosperity. …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/12/24 02:05 PM
4

Good insight. Beyond the basement, dwellers are the delusional value men and women. They are the ones that but for the world's effect on them would top shelf. They don't measure they own actions and results as their doing. Our kids are grown, and we have grandchildren. As years have passed and the world has changed, we should not forget that once kids get into school, we start losing influence. So, if one is a parent, you need to prepare them to act independently. I'd say that this starts early …
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 06:14 PM
24

Good advice. In general, a woman respects their man and admires him for accomplishment. You don't tear him down when failures occur, but let him take responsibility and let him go back seeking success. Avoid men who want a mother who just keeps cleaning up after him and coddles him. Men with mothers who treated them like daughters can have issues like this. Some men aren't that physical and seek physical fitness beyond good enough. That's OK. But a man needs to have missions in life. Let him pur…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/24 01:35 PM
4

My son in law and daughter have what you desire. They married and seem to be their first sexual partners. We'll, it isn't exactly as you describe because each has their independent activities and chores, and each recognizes being in their male/female roles at home. They each gain the respect of others by performance in life. They attend church and have other friends with balanced careers. A few marriages have very successful wives out earning husbands. But mostly both spouses have rewarding care…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/24 01:11 PM
1

Your anger issue is the real toxin to control. Being angry with yourself or him both can lead to later issues. The quality of the relationship is the only way to get past this, and that takes time. Your count and experience seem so similar to my wife and me so many, many years ago. You knew this would bother him. You need to make him your most special man. He's got to commit in his mind. Do you have a temper? Is the anger over your past or his reaction? If he never gets past this, you are cooked…
/r/RedPillWomen01/11/24 01:31 PM
1

I'm 70, so I'll say that is not entirely true. What does change is that maybe 10 percent of women and men are still in that category. The casual aspect is perhaps not applicable because with maturity comes some more judgment. The lust remains, but mostly inside one's thoughts.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/24 11:03 AM
1

That's the way men and women can make each other better and build a life.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 11:13 PM
2

All you describe I've seen in my large extended family but also many successful marriages. I see settling for a spouse that's good enough to be successful. Much has to do with the parents of both spouses and siblings of the couple. In my family.... Some of the attractive women with useful education and with hardworking parents and values and a feminine disposition seem to smartly select handsome, smart, fit, and ambitious men who will make good fathers and marry in their mid 20s. They pick these…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/24 12:35 PM
1

Find someone competent and excelling in their chosen career. They don't need to be college educated or have advanced degrees. They do need to have drive and be comfortable in their life choices. That is confidence. Be willing to be a mother and not limit the number of children until you at least have one. The billable hours ought to be second place to wife and mother. Forget it's not fair for men and women as the buyer always rules. That kind of overly strict life plan might not be attractive. G…
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/24 12:53 PM
2

He thinks highly of himself and thinks destroying your hopeful plans is of no mental consequence.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 11:02 PM
2

For true revenge, no response. For peace...have a nice life. For guidance; next time, be a stand-up guy and at least call or better yet say it in person. Please do not call or contact me again.
/r/RedPillWomen06/09/24 01:12 PM
6

After 47 years of marriage, I can tell you sex is the barometer of a relationship. Both parties marry with expectations that may not be realistic, and more expectations that each has presented to the other as their core values and behaviors. Our sexual chemistry lasted 25 years before life stresses, mistakes, and tradgedies created a gradual decline to a deadbedroom. We've revived the relationship and sex, and our passion for sex is different but often as exciting as our early marriage and defin…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/08/24 12:33 PM
4

This ick behavior is describing uncomfortable reactions to revealed traits. If you are married a long time like me, you will know icks either get covered by attractive traits or bubble out when uncovered. I'd say in general, in my observation, that men have very thick covering over their icks in committed relationships. In my experience, women uncover icks faster when you display shortcomings. They are nice sharp daggers to pierce your ego if left unsheathed. The problem with icks for women is a…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/08/24 04:38 PM
–

Who is telling anyone sexual desire is not healthy? Ideally, everyone can experience sexual desire and not suffer from some mental condition that blocks libido. My parents were born in 1929, and they both raised all of us children to see sex as wonderful, but it should be pursued responsibly. They definitely made it clear that our hormones driving us in our teens was a natural human emotion. You made me think about... "The leading people on" operative word is leading. For my many decades of life…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/24 12:45 PM
12

As an old man observing my life and those younger, I think you are most correct. In my experience, a guy should be both desired (attractive) and potential husband material. This means you are physically attractive and show you have a future to excel in your life. The first gets the door open, and the second adds to your attractiveness. The future orientation can be replaced with a cool guy who is fun and entertainment oriented. Ideally, you are that and have a future with being attractive. The i…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/08/24 09:54 PM
2

Men see women as potential sex only or potential relationship and a future.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/08/24 05:10 PM
2

In general a man complaining about work should be rare and signal something exceptional. I hate the how is work question at super as it can only be answered incorrectly unless it is good news. Even then it can trigger more questions. I will review with my wife some plans and strategies as I own the business. I like some insights she has. But then she goes into argument mode to further show she's right and controlling some little point. Then there is the "you said you'd do this..." comment which …
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/24 04:59 PM
1

An adult controls emotions to first hear the objective message before letting emotions rule. All these mean the same thing in the context of criticism of work. Your work is not acceptable.(adult) You suck at this job.(ass hole) You can do much better.(adult) WTF is wrong with you to think this is acceptable? (Ahole) What do you think about your work quality? (Adult) This work isn't right. Please correct it ASAP and let me know if you need help. (Adult)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:17 PM
1

I like to hire people who played sports in high school. Even 35 years ago, I noticed a difference. Winning, losing, and being told you need to improve is a life skill. You should learn to hear the message and not how it's said. Emotions cloud messages.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 05:09 PM
4

I think what is called shit treatment is honesty and direct action. I'm 70, and I recall we could tell other men to shape up and not dwell on poor me. We all told one guy his eating would turn him into a fat dad with his 3 to 4 lbs. Gain every year. He listened, and 25 years later, he looked great. The same men are also kind. Now, that's not politically correct. How do I tell a 25 year old the same warning? Fyi...I do set an example. Men on a mission will do things they would never do at home or…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/08/24 12:45 PM
3

This is my experience. My wife decided that she didn't need sex anymore. She became very verbally abusive. After a few months of research and reading, I realized that I was being a doormat. I took time to write and reflect on our entire relationship with a focus on my actions and my observations of my wife's reactions or actions. This was year 39 in our marriage. This was after no sex for 18 months and maybe 1to 5x a year for 10 years. After organizing my thoughts and getting past my anger, we h…
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/24 11:17 AM
2

When I was fulfilling the first role, my wife gradually made the second impossible due to always being mad about something. I was ok at 3 but not great, and combined with 2, it derailed things for a while. Now we're back on track, but I think you are 100 percent right.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/24 11:11 PM
0

I think the Modona hoe complex is rarer than you think. I think it is more common for men to think their bride to be thinks of them as their top lover and choice. Or, after marriage, it becomes obvious there was a hoe phase, but "she's not like that anymore." It's what made her what she is now. This is not the same as you described. What I describe is getting more common. The lie leads to disgust. People, just be truthful. When boys and girls are young, it would be important to explain sex as wo…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/24 11:45 AM
1

In my experience, specifically my wife, her 1st love provided her attraction as he has cool, made her provide all the attention, and treated her as needing improvement. Then, she had a period of trying out more men for fun and validation. As she said once, she early on tried to treat me, like her ex treated her. There was lots of anger left to deal with. It mostly has gone away. Her full potential was reached in a good relationship despite her experiences. If anything, the relationships left som…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/24 05:30 PM
12

Read about war brides. I think we grow up thinking women love like men. As OP said, it can be about her controlling access to sex and thinking that's a relationship. Or, seeking validation, she's attractive. It's not about you, or maybe it is her need to find security. Your priority should be your children's mental health and safety. I think men often have a romantic view of relationships that clouds understanding that others may have different views. You are the father. That doesn't change.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/24 05:11 PM
0

Read about war brides.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/03/24 11:17 PM
1

The American girl you mentioned is a girl next door type that you build a life with. She's cute, with no makeup and physically fit in a normal way. The Lebanese woman seems like she'd collapse if she was camping or volunteering at some county church dinner. High maintenance verse no maintenance. Pioneer woman verses a princess. A woman that could handle a big family versus needing help.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/03/24 12:09 PM
1

That physical anger is unacceptable. If someone refuses to engage in good faith to resolve issues, then after a while, you move on the threat. Can't make false threats.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:12 PM
6

Did you already warn her a divorce was possible? My wife is prone to anger and can be very disagreeable. She holds her family in high regard. I let her treat me like a doormat with an increased frequency over getting along until doormat was the norm. It was the realization by me and then communicated to her that our marriage would not last. That changed things, but it takes constant effort to set boundaries for behavior. And, acting like a doormat and letting one's wife run things is not attract…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 06:06 PM
3

That works when you don't know how biology works. When there is a small number of people, there will be a default hierarchy based on tribal survival. People die early and often. Babies occur regularly, so a large portion of females are pregnant. There is starvation frequently. The weak die early. Food scarcity leads to tribal conflict. There was little bathing and parasites that needed to be picked from bodies. Survival was the number one goal, so everything else went secondary. Since men withou…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/02/24 01:49 PM
1

You can not use the word average to describe the complexities of people. Physical differences of height and weight are objective, so there are averages. Beauty is always in the eyes of the beholder. Social circles depend on many different personality traits and one's present situation. Introverts and extroverts and other types of people create too many variablities. There is a YouTuber (hoe math) that has videos that I think are the absolute genius analysis of relationships and differences betwe…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/02/24 02:07 PM
1

I have noticed that in elderly couples and widows, the large percentage of the larger age gaps are younger wives and older men. The women remain attractive for their ages. This isn't new. Women and men need to learn their value to the other sex. My wife and other older women used to recognize that locking down a good man early was important. Now, even these women think their nieces are ok spending college years through late 20s dating whatever, getting tattoos, and then they will get a guy like …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/02/24 01:14 PM
–

All that is needed is to have a balance of you go girl and to you go boy. Teach everyone about having a moral compass and leading their life. Teach all to win and lose. Play the game, and don't drop out. Women are nowhere near taking over all the work, and all the women I know with kids give them as much time as economically possible. Both men and women in relationships should be work horses. Keeps you out of trouble, and it is a fulfilling life. Don't be lazy. Someone mentioned Taylor Swift, an…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/24 01:08 PM
2

I've been in and corrected a DB. I'm sure there are some as you describe. The minority of DBs seem to be what you describe. It is more typically the stress and tradgedies of life, sloth and gluttony, and vindictiveness over missed expectations (financial). Add in intratraganence and not setting boundaries. And then libidos go up and down for hormonal reasons. On top of this, using sex as a weapon to settle grievances. Oh, and it isn't past lovers, but potential or undisclosed emotional or physic…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/01/24 06:39 PM
1

You need to remember that all content is revenue generation by advertising. It is the same as television or news sites. Everyone one of these trends is always there. All you see is one of them being advertised. Each is a strategy to get the girl or get the guy you want.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/24 11:47 AM
0

You are correct. However, the same woman will be surprised that the man who confronts others will also have firm boundaries for her. That works in his favor unless she wants a degree of independence.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/24 01:32 PM
4

The problem I see today is that men and women can see too many choices. There is also the change in attitude where women and men don't think sacrifice for a strong relationship is necessary. I definitely agree that if you don't have attraction, then don't get into relationships. 30 for women is not ideal for having kids. It's just the age at which the timeline is obvious.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/01/24 01:26 PM
1

No. Some did. Of guys, I know that married the college sweetheart in my fraternity, at least three got cheated on in a year and divorced. One of those guys because a ceo at a Fortune 100 company. She sure made a bad decision. My wife had way more partners in her hoe phase to get over a bad boy boyfriend. 3 weeks into long distance with me, she'd been dating. An attractive woman then and now has options. They shopped around then as now. Birth control was in full use. Maybe 65 to 70 years ago, it …
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/24 01:21 AM
1

Nothing has changed in 50 years.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/24 05:36 PM
13

This is what pre marriage counciling should emphasize to men and women. Men, don't be afraid of your wife's moods and anger at disagreements, calling out bad behavior, and own your responsibilities, failure, and success. Both people need to seek fleeting happiness in the success of the relationship. Too often, the temporary drudgery of life is seen as blocking happiness. (Im not happy is now a legitimate reason some women promote.) There needs to be trust. Trust is easy to destroy and difficult …
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 12:38 PM
0

This has somehow become a societal norm. I've seen some adult women in my family jump on this track, and it is toxic. Don't go there first. It won't let help solve the problem by confirming all wives that responding hate their husbands.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/24 08:17 PM
1

Thanks. I think you recognize that men's and women's behaviors in marriages influence each other, and the only one you control is your own. You get to set rational standards for behavior and expectations. You get to respond and observe the reactions. Each party can put some throttle on emotions and observe your spouses emotions. The other realization I had was that love and respect are earned by each spouse. Neither should have unrealistic or unbending expectations, but reasonable. Rejecting sex…
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 01:36 PM
4

I saw my marriage go a similar route, but after 5 kids. You let bad habits become the marriage. Abuse can be something you let happen as it is fatiguing to constantly set boundaries. Do not be a doormat. That is not attractive. Do not use being a nice guy as your mode. Appreciate good behavior and set boundaries for bad behavior. It's far more attractive to most women to see the husband won't stand for disrespect and has a spine. Don't get angry, get firm. Be your best and set your goals and wor…
/r/Divorce_Men20/12/23 01:16 PM
2

Do not marry someone that you are not attracted to but meet some objective criteria. Marry someone who you respect and are proud to marry. Do not marry someone to check boxes only. It is insulting to say you settled. Keep it to yourself.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/12/23 07:26 PM
1

I've got a 40 year old son who is over 6 feet tall, handsome, and finds online dating difficult. He got divorced because he and his wife got terrible advice from a marriage counselor. My son and his ex both had plenty of prior relationships. I think for both of them their were different effects. He just didn't think he needed to change for his wife (minor ways), and his wife was used to constant male attention (Instagram) and comparing her life to others (FB, Instagram).
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 10:08 AM
1

Your point is well taken. To be accurate, few men since those in their late 80s and 90s now were in their 20s were ready for marriage and fatherhood.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/23 10:00 AM
7

You hit the jackpot. (Maybe) He is telling you that he is selective. I'd guess he put you in the wife material category. If he is high achieving and is not highly narcissistic, I'd bias your thoughts to thanking him and respecting him. The issue you must avoid is being viewed as a Madonna versus an alternative promiscuous woman. Libido has to be bidirectional. Men do get wife goggles. It starts early, and you only lose his goggle filters by disrespect or extreme changes. After 48 years, I still …
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/23 01:06 PM
9

This, as you describe, has not changed in many decades. I'd say the ages and depth of exploration changed in the late 60s and 70s. The entire growing up phase has changed from about 15 to 18 to 12,13,14 to 25 to 30. This creates a lot of baggage for the rest of your life. This is maybe a product of society overly sexualizing media without romantic commitment, birth control, the rebellious baby boomers (my generation), and feminist views on sexual freedom. Then add in men who don't want to grow u…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/23 12:53 PM
1

My wife says.... My wife says she married me because I was a very good artist (painting), but my profession is designer and executive/entrepreneur. Later, as part of resolving a deadbedroom, she said the sex was also really good. (She seemed to have plenty of comparisons in retrospect. They must have been below average...lol.) I remember her also comparing my starting career salary to hers with an implied reason to assure it was more than her. (Hypergamy) The real reasons.... Looking back at som…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/23 01:39 PM
3

The influence of the woman's friends is maybe more important than family. If friends think the guy is good for her, that makes a big difference. The stage in life of friends changes perspective. Going from working or school with all single women to married women changes the perspective of which men are more attractive. And, there is the reverse. When one woman gets a divorce, then the group starts thinking this might be acceptable. If all the women hang in there with their husbands and husband's…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/23 11:49 AM
1

I do thrive on risk. I bore easily if I'm not creating something or driving myself. I'm 100 percent on or off. You are right. I can't make someone else happy. I think I've coped by aggressively turning around my company. My wife periodically calls me a failure, and I think I'm in a " prove her right or wrong mode". It seems reckless, but it does work for now. My business creates products that are new and original. It is an adventure and funded by private wealth investors and eventually venture c…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 01:18 PM
1

I didn't waste a good part of it. But, I did and do waste too much time distracted by my wife's behavior. My wife has said I wasted my career because for 7 years, I've been turning around my business, which is a high-risk endeavor. The deadbedroom was full in force when this started. I don't know your age, but your blunt statement is worth considering. I've let my wife treat me in such a way that I got weak. At first, I kept her in line. But, the weakness that developed in me was unattractive. T…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/23 12:15 PM
2

There is a 50s rock and roll song. If you want to be happy for the rest of your life, get an ugly woman to be your wife. She'll be happy to marry you....get an ugly woman to marry you. Ugly meaning not attractive to everyone and beautiful for you. Tinder wreck this approach.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 02:34 PM
1

It depends on who you marry. It depends on how much each of you does something to offend the other. It depends on what both your dreams, ambitions, and potential are at the start. I was reading letters from our dating days 48 years ago, and everything that is an issue was well documented. Some women approach marriage as supportive and cheerleader for their husbands. Some approach it as formulaic and try to overrun their emotions. Some marriages run down a path of resentment and contempt after ye…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/23 01:23 PM
10

Recent red pill content is more staging bimbos. It is an echo chamber for not making progress to fix or leave a relationship. The women mostly look like they are for sale. Rian Stone is good if you listen to his married red pill content. R deadbedrooms was a good place 5 years or more back when I went there. Rollo Tomasi is ok but has zero application to most married men. Adam Lane Smith is newer and has a fresh take on relationships using attachment theory. John Gottman is someone both men and …
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 06:20 PM
2

Wow... in my experience, your generalization applies to maybe 5 percent [1 in 20] marriages. On reddit, one is going to hear from that 5 percent. Maybe I've lived in a bubble of responsible adults. The bigger issue is the conflict between optimum child-bearing years and modern life. Society as a whole has become individual focused, and comparing oneself to others is always a tempting emotional measurement. You are correct that women's health can be compromised by childbearing. Having children is…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/23 11:59 AM
1

I'm 69 and my wife 70. Mostly, we are together because of large extended families and many years of raising kids. We have had many good years. But, out of 46 years married, I'd say 10 were really good. Another 10, ok. But after that, I let my wife's tendency to be angry make me walk on eggshells. We get better and then it gets back to her being disrespectful and contemptuous. When you hit difficult years, the past will be context for the present. If your wife ends sex and affection, then her wil…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/23 10:00 PM
1

You have me wrong. I am deeply involved in medical device development, and my "skeptical" approach is based upon the observation that innovation is a combination of questioning covention and a then a combination of science, engineering, and continuing question of our results. "Science is never settled. You only know you are less wrong. " (Richard Fyneman) I had a child on chemotherapy. I got the vaccines. Don't presume questioning something from experts means I don't follow expert advice. My big…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/10/23 12:04 PM
2

I think people who are educated or not are subject to persuasion by emotions. If you think all scientists are exempt from corruption, you are mistaken. No class or group of people is beyond reproach. Peer review has become corrupted, and that is well documented. The "press release" is the most corrupting media practice. In order to stimulate emotions, an academic report content is distilled down to the most alarming conclusions. Or, the size and quality of the study are obscured. The worst pract…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 12:35 PM
2

I work with many PhDs. Those in industry are the best clients. Those in academics are usually dreamers who don't care to recognize that success in business and everything, but publishing papers requires the assistance of all those without college education. I had good relationships with my professors many decades ago. They were humble and understood their roles. They were pro industry and were anti woke. (Yes, even then, we had the woke).
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 12:24 PM
4

The more education you have, the more you realize what you don't know and question everything. You come off as thinking that learning stops with formal education. Most of a college education is now free on the internet. Or, at the public library. I've seen no difference in college education or less in failing to understand more than the opinion of experts. You might be surprised bu the brilliance of just life experience over 4 years of education. Belief systems: What do you mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/23 01:46 AM
1

Where did you get this opinion? Compulsive behavior or coercion or peer influence and external events do not remove free will. One may be a prisoner or guard, and both have free will with consequences for choices. You choose what you do and should consider the consequences. Attractiveness is subjective in so far as personal opinion or emotional response. Free will is most observed in mentally strong people who are stoic and can shift between logic and emotion. This is something that should come …
/r/PurplePillDebate12/10/23 10:10 AM
5

If you are on the ADHD spectrum like myself, you work in bursts of organization and clutter. You learn to organize and automate important things. Just enough organization is what is tolerable. We like organization and neatness, but maintaining it is not easy. Cleaning is actually easier as it can be done in hyperactive mode. I hire many hyper-organized people for some positions. Just as I need to work on organization, they need to work to work past convention and consider new approaches to issue…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/10/23 11:27 AM
2

It was a good laugh because all good humor has an element of truth. Morbidly obese to thin is the first clue. Only swiping on short guys is the second clue.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/23 11:31 AM
2

This is just normal. Men and women are different.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/10/23 12:03 PM
2

This has been true for all time unless you are inherently extremely physically or by status attractive. Social circles can screen people and recognize potential matches. Large families of several children made this state with a firm foundation. Then cousins spread out the circle to their friends. Your reputation preceded you. Work was a source of potential mates also. Now our phones and online lives simulate what is far more effective face to face. Transportation and communication technologies c…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/09/23 11:12 AM
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The man is a drunk captain, and she's got to mutiny. She's supposed to be the first mate. This is directly from my favorite red pill podcast. What is missed redpill by many is as a man you are a success object. There's nothing wrong with this. Your wife will stick by you in down times, but not forever.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/09/23 08:26 PM
2

You are describing human nature. Women have not changed. I've heard my 96 year old mother in law talk about all her options. The difference between then and now was that once married, she was dedicated and supportive of her husband. He was a nice guy, not extremely successful but extremely well respected and revered by all. Everyone settles for a mate. You will always be tempted to compare your spouse. Your spouse will change, and you both are responsible for changing for the better.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/09/23 12:45 PM
2

Who has a lingering fear of covid? Anyway, you make me think. Isolation isn't new. Shyness is not new. Life inside a display and virtual simulated life is new. Infinite choices are on display. Before we had motor transportation, there was significant isolation limited by walking and maybe horses. Children were an overt life goal. Life was simple and serious. By mid twenties, men were advanced in careers, and women had families. Life might be only 60 years plus or minus 10. Old fashioned match ma…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/09/23 11:55 AM
2

I know a woman who should have found a great husband at 28 to early thirties. I remember her dismisive attitude toward interested men. She was a very religious person with impossible standards, and her ambition was number one. She chose artificial insemination and had twins. Premature babies at 45. She was clueless about the responsibility and my wife and was shocked by how she kept trying to balance her needs over the babies. The decision was selfish. She has eventually become responsible. A go…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/09/23 05:35 PM
3

I didn't tell my son not to get married because it seemed like his soon to be wife, and he was working as a team. I did early in the relationship, tell my wife his then girlfriend and soon to be wife seemed more interested in money. She had debt from an advanced degree but seemed lazy about actually making money with the degree. My son didn't help by making his need for adventure exceed his wife's needs for attention. The problem with both son and his now ex was their bucket lists of activities …
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/23 11:31 AM
9

I'm 69, and now women plus or minus 5 years look attractive to me. The young women at the gym are showing off in tights and are a distraction, not attractive. My eyes instinctively move, and my mind pulls them back. But smiles and conversations with women my age are attractive. Beauty is there for everyone.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 01:44 PM
7

You are correct. Old school women born 90 years ago mostly understood this. I also blame my own baby boomer generation for discarding old-time proven values in favor of new perspectives that were experimental. Sometimes, societal change is a failure. I shut down my wife and daughters, talking up divorce with another daughter. The husband made a comment that he thought was funny, and it deeply hurt my daughter. The via social media my daughter posts something, and 50 women go nuclear. This is tod…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 11:13 AM
0

From reversing my own dead bedroom and listening to all the different perspectives on how to correct this; You need to experiment with various behaviors. Sometimes, the wife needs to be more engaged in life. It can be a medical issue, but that's usually an obvious issue. It's best to have some tests. There are so many perspectives on this problem. Listen or read all of them. Make it clear you can't live with the present state of sex frequency. In my case, it went from ovulation week to once a mo…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 10:53 AM
1

Shit testing is benign, such as questioning something to see if you have a spine. Or, asking for some task that requires you to act immediately when there is no need for immediate action. Emasculation is directly making a comment that is embarrassing and places you low in your wife's perspective. Examples I've seen and experienced are often during traveling in airports. A man misplace a passport or boarding pass or some other pause in perfect execution of travel tasks. The wife starts to berate …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/09/23 10:26 AM
2

The screen time would be an issue. I'd address this indirectly by planning things outdoors. However, it is more about wanting to invest time in kids instead of all your own activities. I know a couple of our ages (68 to 74), and the wife is supper active, and he is less so. The positive is that they have grandchildren and a life together. The wife kind of separated by house sitting but then realized she has a good man. He's not going to do everything with her. And, his wife has supported him in …
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 03:31 PM
2

Marriage can be making both partners better. This is only possible if people can look at themselves critically. By your 30s, there are many habbits deeply engraved in your brain. You need to both have an honest conversation about your futures. Dating will not improve per your insight. You can't and should not nag a man into improvement. Is some outdoor active lifestyle better for him? Yes. Is looking at the bright side of things useful? Yes. However, being overly optimistic needs to be tempered …
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/23 11:50 AM
7

Married 46 years. Both spouses need to put each other in their place when they are outside the boundaries. The issue, I think, is more typical when a woman is disrespectful of her husband or overtly acts like she's the exclusive boss. Any emasculating behavior requires a response, especially when done is public. For women, it is necessary to call out embarrassing behavior. Showing up a slob to something he should clearly dress up for, getting drunk, ruining a social event by being argumentative …
/r/PurplePillDebate03/09/23 11:22 AM
1

Do not play into her insecurities. I started our marriage being logical and not getting lost in her emotions. These emotions always passed. After some years, it grinds you down, and you start reversing reasonable decisions as the emotions flood your brain. I own and run a business with ups and downs. We have a net worth of near 5 million. This week, I got scolded because I didn't tell her I threw away a 15 dollar ice pack as it broke. Yea, after I bought two ice packs when she told me she couldn…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:27 PM
3

Before you jump to extreme measures, you might do some research. Gottman's books are very good and your wife should read them also. I'd skip marriage counciling and start by defining boundaries. Do not let your wife think that a deadbedroom works long term. Do not cheat and create more problems. Explain to your wife that said disrespectful behavior is not acceptable. Allow each of you to tell each other what expectations you have for each other. I think some of the negativity is a test. Much of …
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 12:03 PM
1

My oldest daughter was like you. She met a shy, 6' 4" guy who was not a Chad. He liked her outdoors and active lifestyle, and they are both engineers. They dated for over a year, maybe two before getting engaged, and it seemed intimacy was purposely off the table before engagement. There are lots of guys like this. Go for them and make a friendly approach. Lots of guys want a family and to build a life. In sales, you get what you ask for. You sell what makes you unique and separates you above th…
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 12:21 PM
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Long-term, you want a woman with backbone and grit. She can be feminine but won't fold when life gets difficult. The same goes for men in perhaps other ways as a balance.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:50 AM
1

I think communication is over emphasized. Behavior, results of actions, and reasonable boundaries are more important. Compromise is because you realize the return on not compromising is negative overall.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/08/23 11:45 AM
2

My wife has improved. I've also worked to improve our relationship. On the whole, I think my wife was a great choice. What I had to learn was that some women have a strong hypergamous instinct that rushes to the forefront when her man is failing. I grew up with a mother who was the opposite of this with my dad. In a rage some years ago, my wife said only results count. That was in response to my business being in a downturn and deep in debt. Other previous times were very good financially. I res…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/07/23 03:23 PM
1

She didn't think it was rude. And, I've learned to accept this as a factual statement. When angry, the statements are far more attacks on just about every aspect of my life and physical appearance. In those cases, I've learned to shut that down immediately. The anger is always motivated by finances or her wishing I'd plan more dates. Or, resentment over shopping for groceries, packing for vacation, or spending an inordinate amount of time planning travel and just cooking dinner. I do plenty of c…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/07/23 11:37 AM
1

Go up from here!
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 11:24 AM
2

Lol...after about 30 years of marriage, my wife blurts out while driving with her mother, " I could have married a guy like (her brothers roommate in medical school)". A rich guy always looks better as time goes on. This doctor was very opposite my physical appearance in being the opposite of athletic. My wife often says things like this both at random moments or when angry. In calm discussions, she will deny or say she doesn't remember saying that.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/23 12:19 PM
1

Thanks, even now, 21 years later, our late daughter feels like she's just behind an invisible wall. A tear often fills my eyes when talking about her. Be successful for your child. They forgive you. Do what they would respect. Many of the other parents with children who died from suffering a similar disease are divorced. Don't dwell on decisions made in your time of grief. "What was I thinking?" You might ponder. You were more than likely running on emotions and likewise your wife. I know someti…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 12:00 PM
1

Your insight on your reaction gives me insight on my often difficult marriage. We only have the death of a child in common and maybe, to some extent, the failing business. Your last sentence is some I've heard often from my wife. However, you should try to separate the decision that just did not go as planned from those that were clearly more as you describe as narcissistic. However, consider you may have been operating on emotions that overpower logic and deliberation. When our daughter died an…
/r/Divorce_Men26/07/23 11:57 AM
1

We're you deliberately making calculated behavior before this relationship and then felt passion for this guy? Is this guy driving his life and already exhibited ambitious behavior?
/r/PurplePillDebate24/07/23 11:45 AM
7

I like the captain and first mate analogy better. It's not my creation, but i like it. No one wants a drunk, irresponsible captain, nor first mate. Your first mate is not going to follow you. On the other hand, the Captain needs a first mate that is reliable and loyal. You are both looking out for your crew and safety on your voyage. Do you have a map? Are you prepared for storms? Can you both keep enough composure to recover from the unexpected? A rebellious and disloyal first mate is going to …
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 11:36 PM
1

Yes, and you can also try to be attractive. Being self-critical to see yourself as others see you may show you areas of improvement and obviously good traits. Self-esteem building has its limits. It also makes you more aware of mate choices that are on a reasonable level. On the other hand, it is hard to control one's attraction for your type. However, you can choose to act or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate23/07/23 11:25 PM
1

Some women hang in there and care for an injured husband. Some do not. In my observation. This is also true for men with disabled wives. It is a shame on your wife that she won't let you back into a family life and support a good relationship with your son. I have great respect for you doing the work to come back from your stroke. Don't let your wife's dishonorable behavior diswad you from continuing your success. Your son needs to know his dad is a man who doesn't let the unpredicatable make hi…
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 11:44 AM
9

The "women get board" comment is often true, even in marriages. They don't necessarily leave or cheat. I think grandchildren in the past often consumed time and left little time for boredom. Read older women's dating profiles, and they are filled with preferences for world travel and entertaining activities. Life is a bucket list. Don't interpret this as negative or positive. My wife of many decades is a bucket lists wife and prone to becoming angry over comparing our life to others that are pre…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/07/23 12:11 PM
3

Never put women on a pedestal. Respect them, yes. Never accept disrespect. Always immediately call it out. Take ownership of your mistakes and do not accept being berated if you own it. Have your own goals and couple goals and be logical and not emotional. Moving for her emotions versus your career was maybe a problem. Many women will not support a man who falters. I know several entrepreneurs who got divorced by a wife when things looked gloomy. My wife and others see all weakness as a threat t…
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 05:22 PM
2

Better when the waitress has your attention.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/23 04:41 PM
1

Height makes a bigger difference if you, the man, are conscious of your height. I was never conscious of my height until after I got married 46 years ago. It started at the wedding reception. My wife insisted I stand on a platform to look taller than my 5 feet 8 over her 5 feet 7. My wide arranged this ahead of time. Anytime we pair in a photo, my wife is extremely concerned that I never look shorter. In rougher times, she'll bring up height. Since her concern is irrelevant to me, she then accus…
/r/PurplePillDebate13/07/23 03:14 PM
1

Wife becomes an insufferable bitch Regardless of why, this is what I observe is the number one reason marriages end. The wife might have legitimate reasons such as alcoholism, a sexless marriage (husband), etc. Or, more likely, it is disappointment and boredom because life isn't a guarantee. Much of life is disappointing and unpredicatable. It's the "I could have done better" thinking that may be natural but somehow has become humorous instead of contemptuous. Then there is the "high value man" …
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 11:13 AM
1

45 percent think they should be married to the top 5 percent or are at least disappointed. 5 percent are married to the top 5 percent of men.. 50 percent placed their bets early and decided later if they bet right.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/07/23 03:48 PM
1

Some men on Some occasions are looking for and thinking about sex. I think men instantly know if the woman passes the "I can be seen with her" test. From an older person's perspective, I see men start relationships based on the quality of the woman. Does she have interests that are common? Is she my type? What is her disposition? Is she interested in me? Would I introduce this woman to my family? A few relatives (men) are players. They date eye candy only. Their relationships don't last. The wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/23 01:59 PM
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Yes, crass is an underused word when being critical of behavior. Average men and women are the backbone of the world. When average becomes accepting of crass behavior, we're all in trouble. I do think the pendulum is swinging back. A random thought.... I watched a Ted talk about how experiences were more important than building a life. This was years ago. I think this is and was a terrible message as there is no limit to experiences. This leads to a great deal of jealousy and disconentment. Inst…
/r/PurplePillDebate09/06/23 11:32 AM
2

Listen to Rian Stone. YT. He gets it and doesn't stew in it. A bit of humor. He is the best. I've listened to hus points aimed at stupid behaviors men do in response to said stupid behavior by wives. In my real life, my observation of my many young relatives and their friends, more than 75 to 90 percent are wise in picking spouses and their life choices.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/06/23 11:48 AM
1

You don't know my wife. She does stay reasonably slim herself. But she will never take a recommendation to work on fitness. Ok, people are just themselves. My wife is very critical of every son in law, her brothers, and me. She won't talk about this to anyone but me. God forbid being critical of her. She gives more empathy to women who are overweight. She dealt with many obese patients through her long career. I think this makes her worry about the long-term effects of extra pounds. I think she …
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:16 AM
1

Yes, I visited Italy with my wife and one daughter years ago. There were two types of men. The men who let women go to the front of the coffee line and the ones that would immediately pounce attention on my daughter if I wasn't there. Not to generalize, but I've noticed that former Eastern block countries [25...30 years ago]that were under Soviet control seemed to encourage a pushy, aggressive, and distrustful approach to life, and pushing past honest dealing as that's what life is with autocrat…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 11:04 AM
2

That is insightful. I think for everyone, it takes thought to respond with humor but get the message across without being sarcastic or seeming a shrew as you said. I think some of the unwanted behavior is the increasing acceptance of inappropriate behavior. You won't change men admiring beauty or women acknowledging attractive men. That is human behavior. But, it is culture created by both sexes that sets the rules.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/06/23 10:55 AM
2

I can remember my Mom telling my Dad that his looking at someone's 13 year old daughter was out of line. Of course, as men, we can't help but notice. However, we're supposed to have ethics, manners, and self-control. Courting customs 150 years ago were meant to control behavior. Of course, behavior wasn't perfect. It just created rules of engagement. Kids still had sex too early, resulting in babies, men could be predators, and abuse occurred. You give me insight on what can occur. Remember that…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:50 AM
2

I must live oblivious to seriously awful male behavior. Mostly, I just see inappropriate awkward behavior. I have 4 daughters, and they certainly have mentioned the cubical trolls, who are old fat bald guys that hang an elbow on the cubical wall and make small talk. They just tell them they have work to do. I've only had one out of maybe 100 employees that I had to pull aside and tell him to stop creeping out female employees. I do recall my wife telling me the manager of her hospital hit on her…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/06/23 10:35 AM
6

Where do you live that said behaviors are typical? I think you describe a complete loss of reasonable, socially acceptable behaviors. Shame and guilt by the offenders apparently are not functioning.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 06:24 PM
1

I was seriously asking you that as being trans do you possibly have a tinted view. I have a male nephew who is going to be female, and it seems he is just more comfortable being more female in behavior. I can't understand this in an intuitive way. I'd guess some male typical behaviors are either not there or kept down. Are men having an instinct to defend and save women and children first toxic? (Observed in a shooting in Las Vegas several years ago). This is the same reason men get drafted. Is …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 06:09 PM
1

If you are Trans then of course, you would find masculinity toxic? Is this not logical? It would seem very difficult to be Trans and carry on with what you describe. Male or female Trans would seem to have a unique view of each sexes view of their role in society. Do you think this creates some of your argument. Big capitalism is now as reliant on women as men. Many companies are dependent on women buying their product and services. They have more and more female employees. I think the Red Pill …
/r/PurplePillDebate04/06/23 12:00 PM
2

The majority of people I've hired who played at least high school sports take criticism well. They can be easily guided and independent at meeting deadlines. Marching band or other team efforts also lead to a habit of getting your job done. The lead and follow experiences are socializing experiences. When big families of 5...and 7 plus siblings were common, you often got socialization in your family. (Unless disfunction) From what I've seen, relationships are somewhat unrelated. In college, you …
/r/PurplePillDebate27/05/23 10:05 AM
3

I am 68 now. My wife retired 1.5 years ago. She wants me to retire. She jokes I got a second wind in my career. The real reason I'm working is that I was technically bankrupt about 4 years ago. However, I decided I would recover or go bust. My wife made life miserable and called me a looser, and all manner of contempt was forthcoming. Can't say I blamed her. I've got a pending sale of my company, but that depends on a few clients closing funding. Consider if your home life affects your work life…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:11 PM
2

You are not responsible for graduate school, in my opinion. Your daughter should not have this expectation that after graduation, you are responsible. Is your health problem treatable? What would happen if you got fired or let go and then claimed or were not able to work and were on disability? What if you canceled any life insurance you may have and told your wife she'll be on her own? Can you just start making your wife filled with anxiety over what you might do or what may happen? It can be a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/23 11:59 AM
12

Are you still in banking? I think we covered years ago on the DB sub. I'd think the interest rate issues are just one more thing to make work miserable. Does your wife want a divorce? Did she ever change? When we first exchanged messages, my wife was essentially completely disgusted with me and mentioned divorce. I was stressed at work, and my wife just made that worse. In my case, I developed a detached attitude and my needs known, and that I was ok going broke or succeeding. I ignored my wife'…
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 01:43 PM
1

47 years ago, I helped run a computer dating test at a large university. I was a student. The computer program didn't work, so we manually matched people. What I saw...(mostly average people applied based on applications I could match to people) we all abstained from using information. For the right guy, most females were open to sex early. (I knew some of the women and was surprised as they didn't give that vibe) Most guys wanted a relationship and sex. Good enough, and loyal was about it. I do…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/23 01:18 PM
2

What struggles are you describing? 4 sisters and 4 brothers. All the men are productive and primary breadwinners now. All four sisters worked and had small children, while husbands became specialized MDs and / or obtained top-level MBAs. In their 20s and early 30s with that young person energy, my sisters excelled. Later, the husbands took over, and their wives stayed at home and dabble in their professions. The younger relatives I observed with problems are more causing their problems by follow…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/05/23 11:38 AM
1

Tradwives' rights! They have transitioned to be their true selves! They once identified as single women but now have decided to wear the cloths they want, be committed to their husbands, and are dedicated to their children's success. They even go to their kids' schools and might volunteer and thus may influence children. Some may work part-time and later full-time when the children are in school. You have the right to be your true self. Everyone should accept them as they choose to be called wiv…
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/23 12:26 PM
1

That is the point. No one is perfect.
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/23 10:43 AM
1

Men want respect and admiration in the relationship. They should know these are earned by who they are in life from past and present actions and future potential. If a man is relationship oriented and earning his place in life, he wants commitment. He also may have been judicous in his actions. All this gets projected on his potential future mate. I agree there is no time to waste. To overcome his dislike of N-count takes action on her part. Defending the N count is a waste of time. He needs to …
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/23 11:04 AM
4

From my own experience, the N count is in the background, ready to ignite fires of resentment. In my case, so many years ago, the N count was rationalized in my thoughts by my wife, liking sex and being committed to me. The past could be forgotten. She was mother and wife qualified and had the looks and interests I desired. The problem comes when life hits bumps and you say things without thinking and his lizard brain awakens. What if he has failures in life and you are frustrated and say things…
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/23 10:51 AM
1

Are you saying your wife stopped all intamacy along with separate bedrooms? That would be intolerable. I think society ought to recognize that a deadbedroom is a reasonable fault divorce. Constructive abandonment it was called. I don't know about you, but separate bedrooms and no intamacy seem to create unlimited resentments and contempt. We have close relatives in their late 60s getting divorced. All I can say is to avoid asking kids and friends to take sides. In their case, I think staying mar…
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/23 10:35 AM
1

I've noticed that divorced women in their 60s often post pictures with their sons (adults). It's always interesting how tall the sons are for the most attractive women. My observation and hypothesis is that they married the hot, tall guys and said men moved on to younger women. Also, these women often live in the most exclusive towns. Your cousin theory on genetics may not be correct. In finding transplant donors, after siblings, the cousins are no different than unrelated strangers. Hypergamy i…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/23 11:43 AM
1

B
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/23 11:26 AM
3

Shit test may be better understood as testing your thin skin and boundaries. Particularly for long married men, they lose context and take comments made in frustration as actual serious input. This destroys marriages. Guys need to understand what is disrespect and abusive and what a minor memotional outburst is.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/23 12:48 PM
3

My perspective is that you don't have sex with people, and you would not consider marriage material. In my youth, I had a few experiences and realized a belt notch is only that. I met my wife and realized that she was a good match. I turned down many opportunities for sex with others. My wife had more partners, which I found out early. She was at her top SMV. I happened to meet her just when I started to be apparently more attractive. I gave up more sex partners for my life partner. My wife mayb…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/23 12:00 PM
1

Their councilor fired them. That is telling. I'm not going to participate beyond telling the husband we are not taking sides, and it is up to them to settle their business. Neither can go back in time and make up for mistakes. No one needs to know why. Fyi... we only see the external side of relationships. I think the inside is often the troubled side. In my experience, only those on the inside can resolve the problems. Not my business. Thanks reddit
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 11:36 AM
1

You may be right.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:40 AM
1

I think the message is clear. Don't get involved.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:39 AM
1

Best observation. It's a war that won't end well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:38 AM
1

My wife showed up to help the wife after surgery and found out about the split on arrival. Then my wife got 5 days of resentment non-stop. She got home and dumped it all on me right down to "you are just like him", and a comment she doesn't remember saying. I want them to keep our family out of their divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:37 AM
1

I don't want to be involved. But my wife and I and our adult children are being drawn in to help the wife who is not in good health. Fyi. We were the last to hear about this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:32 AM
1

I'd like to, but the integration of families makes this difficult. However, I'm leaning toward what you advise.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:30 AM
1

The wife talks to my wife, which results in my wife starting to reflect all the bitterness on me. The husband is deliberately going to relatives and telling them his story. (I.e. his wife made him pursue an affair). Smart relatives don't engage. Mostly no one wants to take sides.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:28 AM
0

Don't be patronizing. This is being polite. From a woman, it brings on feeling emasculated . From a man to a woman, i would think it feels disrespectful. As big an issue is presuming that things said are taken as offensive (patronizing). This has often become a big issue (in my experience) with some types of women and men who think they have superior vision and an I'm the boss attitude.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/04/23 05:15 PM
6

If you live your life as a bucket list and a family with children isn't high on your list, then have kids later. Having children in your twenties gives you the benefit of your youthful energy. Having children later in your mid thirties means you may have money and experience giving your children opportunities that require money. Children want attention in their early years. That takes only time. They only need your good example. Kids need guidance and learn to be independently disciplined. If yo…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/04/23 11:33 AM
1

Your observations of the "yea my two dogs died" is a narcissistic response trying to show empathy. The best way to live your life is to accept that solutions to your problems are within your control. The real issue is not accepting reality and blaming others for your misfortune. It may be true that others' actions resulted in you having problems. Life is a constant stream of decisions that will have outcomes of varrying predictability. You must decide how to react every day. Whatever talents, in…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 11:34 AM
1

Well written.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/23 01:06 AM
2

Long-term relationships are exchanges of value. You should consider a relationship model that might resemble an arranged marriage. In this case, the man will be evaluated for his ability to provide and the integrity he shows. The woman is evaluated for their ability to raise a family. Both are evaluated for their ability to behave within societal boundaries. There needs to be attraction but built on practical value. This means you focus on building your value. Don't chase anyone who doesn't resp…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/04/23 11:38 AM
3

You are correct.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/23 12:06 PM
1

I work in tech and hire engineers, designers, and specialists. If you want dedicated employees, you pay for quality, talent, and manage with a light hand. You make hours flexible and let employees have a family life. No generation has the same experience, so don't use your life as a standard. If you are my age 68, stay in shape and up to date with trends. My job is making working for me a benefit for the employee. You ask questions to get people to think. You try to listen more and talk less. Gi…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/03/23 11:28 AM
1

Well, one of your last paragraphs says it all. Envy. So you are not going to make your boomer bosses rich, do you say? You may fail to realize that some think a job is rewarding when you produce more than your salary. That attitude leads to being first laid off when times get tough. Stop blaming people and find opportunities. Some people and boomers are selfish AHoles. That's not unique to any generation. You make many good points, but you should not lump us all together. I've seen the same defe…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/03/23 11:19 AM
2

Men do control optimization of theirs looks, their potential future wealth, and you can't do anything about height except be confident. Andrew Tate is a strange looking man who somehow is attractive to some women. I think that appeals to some men.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 05:47 PM
4

They go for normal because it is comfortable. They want respect and admiration if they are serious about life. I think it is more like some hot guys pick average or normal women.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/03/23 05:29 PM
3

Having fun experiences has become life, and work is a side hustle for too many young men and women. Our bucket list society keeps adding buckets to the traditional man's life. Have integrity, work hard, be reliable, loyal, and find a similar wife, have kids, and do your best through all of life. The best young men I know are quickly in relationships with quality women. Neither one is shopping forever to find the best. They found good quickly. Then there are all the men and women wandering throug…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/03/23 11:49 AM
34

I think when having a family and children was supplemented with careers and bucket lists, being happy has become unattainable. Too much is going on to relax and enjoy simple and free life experiences. Social media added a window on the world never seen before. Expectations of travel, experiences, and filling a bucket list become essentials. In my observation, men's opportunities are masked by all the "go girl" support. The need and right to take offense and verbally abuse husbands has become nor…
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 11:50 AM
4

The addiction part is clinically disputed by some, but it is a habit. I'd say intamacy and sex withdrawn or never experienced leaves a void. Unless you are low or no libido, you look for ways to fill the void. It is never full by porn, exercise, religion, work, or kids. I think many porn habits stem from not seeing the beauty in your spouse. This is the real tragedy. Instead of realizing how wonderful your aged spouse is, one looks at filtered imaginary people.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 05:08 PM
1

You have complicated situations as that is what life becomes when you don't resolve issues. It becomes a mess of baggage that drags behind you. 10 years of no sex is enough reason to leave. However, you both seem to have disabilities with limited resources. You should talk to a divorce attorney and understand how you might be treated in court. I'll bet you will remain responsible for your wife. The past never goes away. You might make up for it, but it does not disappear. The only way it stays b…
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 12:31 PM
5

Don't discount that porn is a coping mechanism when your spouse withdraws affection and sex. It might not be the best coping means, but it is convenient and a temporary cope.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 12:07 PM
2

Thank you. I agree with your analysis.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/02/23 12:25 PM
1

All that evil needs to prosper is for good men and women to do nothing. Leaders may be corrupt and start wars, and the leaders are evil. They conscripted should rebel against the leaders, but they face the same results as war, death buy violence. . The defenders have choices to run, capitulate, or fight. All sources of power are available to all sides. The Ukraine women know the Russian army is one of the most brutal and thuggish militaries. They wii pillage and R the occupied. It is a brutal si…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/02/23 11:16 AM
8

I like most women and men when I first meet them. I don't care what you look like. We interact, and I start to react. Maybe I know you want to be critical (complain) because I empathize with your point of view. Maybe I need to do the same. If we both are polite and follow comfortable interactions, we can make progress in a friendly relationship. Then, in contrast, I start dealing with a woman or man who starts off sarcastic or aggressive, going into a defensive or offensive conversation filled w…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 05:02 PM
3

There is a healthy and toxic level of all the things you mention. One can have too little or too much of all these things. The weak man has too little. The weak woman has too much. Moderation, a little apart in the middle, is the recipe for a good relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/01/23 02:56 PM
3

I know and have known these men. They formerly got set up on dates with women having divorced due to looser husbands. They saw the value in the men, and expectations were not through the roof. The men I know were shy and were never sought after. These guys spend their lives working interesting jobs and have strong family contacts. At some point, they will never find a mate or care. Bad at dating means you do or don't date. It is binary. If you dated from an early age, you continue. If you didn't…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 06:55 PM
1

Make yourself happy. It's not a man's role or woman's role to male the other happy. Life is filled with triumph and disappointment. You find joy in small and large amounts while life continues. I see this as the bucket list mentality. How about all the mostly men operating all the modern infrastructure? Life would really be rough without mostly blue colar men, mostly male engineers stooped putting in overtime when stuff breaks down. Same goes for mostly female nurses and hospitality staff who pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 11:51 AM
1

Take a look at women's dating profiles when they are past sixty compared to when younger. It tells you how maturity filters out desired traits. Unlimited choices exist for women when they are young. Men have limited choices until they show proof of value. Parents, siblings, cousins, and close friends were formerly a major source of long-term partners. This created a pre-approval network that vetted potential mates. I don't think the matches were any better. I think there were just fewer choices.…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 12:03 PM
2

I've corrected a deadbedroom in a long marriage by applying some of the red pill practices. First, you don't blame your spouse or women. You determine your boundaries and needs. You make those clear. You avoid anger and be direct and calm in your approach. You set standards for yourself first and then for your relationship. You own your mistakes and put them behind you. You stop taking crap that is disrespectful and make rules of disagreement and arguments respectful. If you don't garner respect…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 07:21 PM
1

Yea, get the paternity test as it is very strange to ask for a divorce when pregnant. Question her directly. On the other hand, not standing up for yourself and s result setting boundaries is a necessity with some women. It's a cycle that will not end. You will not change, but only improve by managing what she is not attracted to. If the issues are things that you know a problem, you own them and work on it. If these are things, you won't change much and are not genuine deficiencies. Tell her th…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 01:30 PM
4

You are right. My son is 6 feet 2, lucky him. But, I'd say even in my time, tall guys always had an advantage
/r/PurplePillDebate21/01/23 03:22 AM
5

I'm 5 feet 8 and in my 60s. I lift and exercise for myself and to be in shape. Being fit can only help on top of your personality. Increase no... but it can help pass the entry barrier of consideration. Your talents, your presentation, life story, ambition, and everything in your life create attraction. A strong body is just part of that. If it dominates your life, then I'd say it's maybe not attractive to some women.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/01/23 08:01 PM
2

I've heard this very thing so many times. One time, I was explaining that heating water was limited by watts (joules), and the women said, " But I want it to be .....". QUICKLY she goes to the "because I'm a woman..." however this is not all women and just those with a chip on their shoulde.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 11:28 AM
2

Another thought is that it might be that the husband doesn't have the sex drive or is insecure. Or it could be that one reason for more partners is being impulsive. All the wives I know that cheated seemed to have deadbedrooms based on the men. Not a big sample, so there is no significance.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 11:10 AM
2

I think it is less about sex and more about getting a mindset that one had many options, but the one chosen isn't meeting all needs.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 10:41 AM
1

Are you talking about choosing partners or general life interactions? My mother inlaw is and has been fat due to mostly diet. I'll treat her kindly. Her daughter and my wife have remained slim. My wife and I have always been critical of each others controllable weight and fitness. Yea, fatphobic for your own personal attraction to spouses is just being honest. (Assuming reasonable exceptions and adjustments for pregnancy and age).
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 10:33 AM
1

Seems many comments assume all DBs are from bad sex. In my observation, women like to get confirmation that they chose or have a valued husband. I think old school philosophy was to build this within ones own mind. (I'm 68 and only saw this in my parents' generation.) Now, instead of grandmothers and mothers coaching daughters, you have far more peer review and approval. Grandfathers and fathers coached sons in other ways. Yes, in my opinion, many wives want a husband that has a prize quality. I…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/23 10:02 AM
1

I read your yoga stories. When you are in a DB a woman's touch is electrifying. Your job takes balls. I'd stop worrying about the clents and worry about you. It is hard to do things that make others' lives miserable but are in your interest. That's one thing I never liked doing was firing people or enforcing contract causes that screw over the other party but are in my best interest. I got sued for $1 million over something I clearly could have made the clients issue. Being a nice guy is not a g…
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 07:23 PM
1

BS social science. Why is this type of research even funded? One guy is fun, and the other is a serious competitor in a sport that men and women play. How about adding prize money and seeing what the results are. The use of the word dominate is introduced with connotation biases the research.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/12/22 12:23 PM
1

I saw some of your posts and remembered you from past years on R/deadbedrooms. 58 remains young if you keep in shape. It seems your DB never resolved. Have you met with an attorney in your state to discuss your situation, including the long history of a DB? If your wife had brought up Alimony, then she must think she's got power in the divorce process. I thought NC was one state where alienation of affection was a valid reason to divorce. If your wife is this vindictive, I'd plot against her. I …
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 11:53 AM
1

I can see why you want out.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 09:07 PM
1

My wife, after several kids, is just 10 pounds past her wedding day weight and slim. Lucky me. I'm in the same plus 10 lbs but was about 25 plus when the DB accelerated. After working on this for the past few years, my wife expects to have sex at opportune times and is very much into it. We both make each other better if we focus on the issue and not resentment and anger. Retirement is more taking time to enjoy life.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 05:13 PM
2

You are approaching this, like you are equal. Approach being in the lead. You can change, and she changes or doesn't. Don't assume her past behavior was anything but emotions. A good leader learns from the past and focuses on the future. In the worst-case scenario, you improve yourself and get divorced, but then you are the prize.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 12:47 PM
2

My standard answer to bringing up history is confirmation of said offense, and that enough time has passed that hearing about it again is off limits. My wife and I had a long discussion or more talk by me about our relationship. This was about six years ago at age 62. I'd written about 8 pages about our relationship; edited it, and then put it aside. I expressed my deep emotional needs and asked if she was having or had an affair, discussing calmly our entire history. I'd say most of everything …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 12:41 PM
5

What are the issues? I can say my wife has legitimate issues where I could be better. I'm only going to do better. Not perfect. I know a couple where the wife moved out to anotger house and sits a home. She wants her husband to interact more with their grandchildren. She wants him to get in shape, but he has some issues with never damage. She is super into feminism and he's more conservative. My wife will drag out issues from 25 years ago. Just women.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 02:36 AM
6

Not wandering. We had a long talk about what was going on. I have a business, and the first 20 years were great. The next 15 up and down, now I'm in the next 5, now turning things around. My wife was crushing on her friends husband and thinking, why didn't she marry someone better. Basic hypergamy. When a man is winning his wife's chosen right. When he stumbles, it reflects a bad choice. On top of this, we have big families with lots of highly successful spouses. On top of that, some women did q…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 01:29 AM
3

Fire Kevin Samuels and hire John Gottman. Your dad might be trying to solve real problems but got the instructions from the wrong source. Seriously, give him "why marriages succeed or fail". Not really your job but maybe Mom can give it to him? Name-calling by either spouse is death to a marriage. I'll suspect there are problems like everyone has, but yelling and calling names is only making things worse. Mostly, my wife is the name caller (looser, delusional, whimp, failure, pathetic...). I sai…
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/22 01:13 AM
7

The intamacy change started with no sex for 18 months and about 10 years prior to maybe a few times a year. Then she left me a note...I don't need sex anymore but look forward to travel and grandchildren in retirement. My response was, "This is unacceptable and may result in a dissolution of the marriage." It took time to get past the past rejections. The best thing that happened was her friend saying she was lucky to have a fit and high-energy husband. Read about shit tests. This helped separat…
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 12:05 AM
20

Post caught my attention. Do you have a deadbedroom? You did mention condescension, and she makes all the decisions. After 35 years, our marriage was just bill paying, condescension, and almost no sex. By 40 years, there was zero sex and an overt statement that she wasn't attracted to me. We'd do fun activities with our kids and grandchildren. Weddings and other extended family activities were a big show. The reality was that my wife was mostly cold to me. I couldn't take it anymore. I took time…
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 11:35 PM
1

Red Pill covers much territory and is interpreted depending on your personality. If you are a guy who doesn't much care about relationships but just wants sex, then only the women setting boundaries works. If you are a generally nice guy looking for a relationship, then the guy sets boundaries of respect for a relationship. Guys will often fall for women quickly while the women are in evaluation mode. Red Pill can coach men to recognize this and also be in evaluation mode. The red pill is the pr…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:49 PM
1

Great post. I'm three times the age of many on this thread, but I enjoy reading the posts. Most of the time, I just say nothing has changed in many decades. However, what seems to have changed is the number of people that can't debate based on verifying facts. Add to this an inability to see both sides of a debate. I was not a fan of President Clinton at the time, but in retrospect, he was one of the last compromising politicians. Regan was similar in that he was charming. I see a lack of critic…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/11/22 12:30 PM
6

It is because there are older relatives of friends advising the women as they know these women have limited time to have a family. Some women don't hear this because they act like it doesn't matter. So independent.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 06:25 PM
6

Please be hypergamous in this situation. I mean by this, evaluate his prospects as a husband and father. He is acting like a child and is not mature. Don't be his mother. Give him a shit test by pointedly telling him he's failing at life. You can say this sweetly or direct. He's going to either change or defend himself. The more you hang with him, the less attractive you will be to others. He is imperfect like everyone, so evaluate in total. Women can support a man and motivate him but only as a…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/22 12:13 PM
-1

In my observation of many younger relatives and my children, the high body counts for both sexes lead to trouble finding a committed long-term relationship. Older people seek a relationship, and sex comes with it. That is the game. The most prosperous and happy of these relatives in their 40s are those who sought a quality partner early. So it is a game for those not seeking a long-term relationship and that need sex. For any age, this is true. It's a game for those seeking novelty and validatio…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 12:41 PM
2

From observation, I think most infidelity is a man or woman finding the opportunity to fill the "I deserve better" need. For men, this need might be sex and could be emotional affection. Women always have the opportunity and can, therefore, more easily fill this need. If a woman does not admire or respect her man, I think there is a deep feeling that he is going to fail her. This is why being a nice guy doesn't work when a man does not meet expectations. Yea, 70 percent of women think there was …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 11:59 AM
2

Thanks. Your behavior was somewhat like my wife. I walk in the door, and a frown greeted me. Sometimes, it was justified. I'm usually stoic, so it's not a big deal. But after many years of me not setting boundaries, I realized that she had started turning everything into resentment. You, however, know something is wrong, which is laudable. We both came from very large families, so our 5 kids were no big deal. She is extremely responsible and has this one flaw of her temper and lack of self refle…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 10:04 PM
17

Just do the opposite of what you are doing. Start saying please and thank you. When he comes home, force a smile and kiss him. Tell your kids to give dad a hug when he walks in the door. Tell him you are proud of him and his resolve to succeed. Do not dump your emotions on him. However, tell him it would help you if he just listened to your day. Get in bed with time to be intamate. Get kids in bed early. If possible, he should put them to bed as reading to the kids at night will be a fond memory…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 02:09 AM
10

Please stop being envious of others' lives. I've alomst always hired the hungry for work and opportunity person over a privileged young person. There are many so-called rich kids who were not given the opportunity to strive and support themselves. And don't assume money makes you a jerk. Many wealthy families drive their kids hard with high expectations and responsibility. I don't understand the hang-up on Trump. Regardless of his privilege, one can learn from the mistakes and successes of other…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 12:04 PM
1

Pressure? I think you mean they are required to work on themselves in order to find and keep a mate. Your true self may have some defective features that is not attractive. Men must often be successful their entire lives. Early on, it is your future that is judged. As you age, it is only the results. Then, if you work too much, it is your life balance. It is easy to accept this when you are young. But, if you are a man, know only some wives will have empathy for less than expected results. Other…
/r/PurplePillDebate05/11/22 05:49 PM
1

I try not to take her comments seriously, but it gets under my skin. It's little things that stack up. Vent...sorry We had a full DB. I worked to fix that. We still sleep in separate rooms. This week...."You can come in tonight" . I ignored that, and we proceeded. But, the comment sits in my head. She makes comments about my height frequently with several this week. I try to ignore it. Old friends mention an unusual last name as we have dinner, and she starts talking about that being her first b…
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 12:18 PM
1

There is a boundary. My wife goes from venting to insults. Her stress is a long sequential series of criticism and how I'm a disappointment. You want an FU from a man, show disrespect, and resentment. Venting is understood, and I'll listen to that.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/11/22 12:33 AM
2

Compliments from women are something a man needs most when he's striving to succeed. The slightest positive comment on your looks or actions is a boost to your ego. I think in today's Western culture, there is this "take them down a notch" banter that is more a norm. I see it in wives making sport of husbands and men being self depreciating. A little is ok, all the time and a single positive comment is made exceptionally large beyond reality. If you are an awkward, funny looking kid, your insigh…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/11/22 12:49 PM
3

Yes, contentment and taking joy in the struggle of life, but finding the beauty you have in walking distance of your home. A 3 year old can find more fun in a mud puddle than a video or trip to Disney. Jealousy of everyone's life that is more than yours takes one's soul. Some days are just down days. People don't see enough tradgedy to realize how good life might be compared to others. Working hard and enjoying that without resentment is one way to enjoy life. Way too many people have the "I des…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 12:08 PM
1

I know a woman that after widowed and then divorced decided a tradesmen man with integrity was true value. Smart people never stop learning and self reflection of how to grow as a person. Tradesmen will tell you their worst clients are sometimes engineers that don't respect the depth of knowledge and skill needed in their trade-profession. My two grandfathers born in 1898 have interesting life paths. One was valedictorian in civil engineering and the other had an 8th grade education. The enginee…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 11:30 AM
2

I stopped wearing one because on weekend house project it was dangerous or damaged some perfect finish. At work around high voltage it was an issue. Eventually my knuckles got too big to wear it. I'd approach this honestly asking him if the ring fits. Tell him you like him to wear it but don't assume anterior motives.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/22 09:48 PM
1

In high school I had no problems with dating. Mostly confidence at first then looks later. I was an athlete and good student. Confidence goes a long way at this stage of life. College was different and my design major was not something very attractive. College in those days was certainly women looking for the best long term option. 1st year i dated long distance with a HS girlfriend. We parted on good terms a year later. 2nd year I became too focused on pursuing girls. I learned I was more inter…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/10/22 12:08 PM
6

I'll say women are better at getting paper work filed. Women are often practical about marriage and men fall in love.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 12:35 PM
1

My wife always poses pictures so I look taller. It is laughable after 45 years. I never cared until she started berating me with the height. Now I just ignor her picture height concerns.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 12:33 PM
1

Aggressive might be the wrong word. And I'm only anecdotally thinking of successful short men i know. But, arrogance has no height limit.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 12:30 PM
1

I've always taken the lead and been looked to for leadership. Fights...Best to avoid them unless you must stand your ground. I'm often the short guy in groups of executives. But, men respect competence, dedication and coolness under pressure. Some men are stronger and will easily take you down. The trick is to be the leader they follow.
/r/PurplePillDebate09/10/22 12:29 PM
0

This is something I never considered. I've never seen tall guys with this attitude. I'm 5'8" and never worried I was short. My wife is 5' 7" and it did and does bother her sometimes. I'd say many men well under 6' can be more aggressive and make up for stature with bravery. You get a rush in competition to beat out bigger guys. This in turn breeds confidence and also some common sense when you get beat. (Refering to sport not street fights). I'd say many tall men can be less concerned with provi…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 01:33 PM
1

Art careers require you to the absolute best talent, most prolific and dedicated compared to your peers. The money and fame follow. Picasso painted hundreds of paintings every year. Sure, a few artist hit it big early but most don't. There is an unlimited amount of talent creating art. I've painted several hundred paintings. Sold many during and after college but now just give them to friends and relatives. When I retire I'll pick it up again. I wanted a family and traditional life. I chose to u…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 10:25 AM
1

You can interpret the statistics as men who lower their standards can find mates. Therfore any other non looks based issue is overshadowed by appearance. Of course looks mater. However how you carry yourself and being selective is also important. There are many women who are reasonably attractive with average weight, well educated and physically active. In my observation these are where you find long term loyal relationships. If you hang out with guys that have longer term relationships then you…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 01:25 PM
0

Not me for sure. PSA is extremely low. However I think there are a substantial number of men who either have very low libido or choose to not masturbate for self control. My mother and sisters all joked about the boys in the family and their bedsheets. It was a humorous part of adolescence. My wife's family never joked about sex much. So, that was the tone in our marred home. Porn is highly variable and there are definitely men that avoid if not never look at porn. I think I was a lucky man. Sex…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/09/22 12:48 PM
1

I don't know. It is an observation. These women are beautiful, smart and pleasant.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 01:50 AM
1

My wife and I are quite independent and we need to keep a balance. I bend to her will when it is a reasonable request. She'll bend to my preferences when reasonable. I like to debate alternatives and she thinks this is arguing. Final figured that out after 46 years. Wife want to cut down three enormous trees on our property. I didn't but was ok with her asking professional for opinion. Turns out she was right she got a quote and was sold. I happen to talk to another tree removal firm and althoug…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/09/22 01:25 AM
1

Nothing. I accept I'm expected to be responsible and perform to my own and others expectations. I don't envy women. I've not experienced divorce but that is one event women get advantages.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 12:08 PM
1

Everything possible is in store. Marriage, remain single, successful career and doting aunt, single mother with sperm donation, marrying down, equal status, pursuing celibacy in religion and dedication to caring for the sick...etc. All these status I have personally observed. This is life. You protest perhaps too loudly. If you want a relationship you need to accept that women will evaluate you just like you them. Just pursue the women you are attracted to and accept rejection like it is no disa…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/09/22 12:02 PM
1

You look for men that are self driven and don't need you to motivate them. You be evaluative in your dating at all times. Don't pick guys that are a project. You be suspicious of guys that love bomb you. You set boundaries early but not in such a way that expresses control over them. You evaluate their family and those dynamics. Some traits are picked up in childhood and early adolescence and you must be suspect of situations with family problems. People change if they recognize defects in thems…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/09/22 11:53 AM
2

Desperate men with money. Men raised without understanding intersexual dynamics. No good examples of men with strong drive. The episodes in Rich Cooper and similar about green flags and red flags are useful but I think too many men are not dating early in life and have zero experience. Some guys are likely trying to untangle horrible situations and the legal and therapy services may only work against them. Accountable....if you are a man and lost in a situation you need other men to make you Acc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/09/22 01:51 PM
2

I'm not sure where the ownership statistics originated about women not being allowed to own property before 1920. What country? USA? UK other? There were certainly credit practices and protective male relatives. There were widowed women who deferred ownership to new husbands. Daughters inherented family businesses and started then. I read history on a wide range of subjects certainly women are less owners of property but many assumed ownership after husbands passed. It's not the virginity itself…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/09/22 11:30 AM
2

If a society looses a focus on family formation then the synergy of male-female relations becomes more conflicted. Insulting men as inferior to women is acceptable in so many societies. Just imagine if war breaks out in South Korea and you will see men suddenly elevated to hero status. Society will collapse without children. I do see many married couple in their 30s with kids doing well with women out earning men. The women are never extreme feminist and let husbands be men and them feminine at …
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:19 PM
4

So true. I'd say overcoming a reputation ruining action is either extremely costly or requires a sequence and multiple of the right reputable behavior. That's why companies settle out of court and do voluntary recalls. My wife many years ago started dating after we went long distance for 6 months. 47 years later the "she thought she could do better" attaches illogical conversation. I screwed up an investment and I'll never get past that doubt of everything money. Just saying all in life attaches…
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 08:01 PM
16

All I heard growing up was your reputation proceeds you. Of course it matters. You can recover your reputation and that is something demonstrated by exceptional action and change. (No excuses). You do enough of something and that is your unchanging reputation.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/09/22 12:38 PM
4

Only your mother and father love you unconditionally. Men want what your boyfriend stated including protecting you (caring for you while injured). Go with this. I told my wife of 45 years basically the same thing and also stated women love you for results and performance. She said quickly "you're right" with enthusiasm. Then she kind of paused maybe thinking I was testing her. Nope, just stating the obvious after resolving a DB. Treat men with respect and admiration for performance. You motivate…
/r/RedPillWomen11/09/22 12:14 PM
2

I won't go with the line she's cheating. However she has somehow directed her thoughts to everything you are not. I do think you should do the detective work to make sure she is not cheating. Number one is the status of her friends. I've seem my wife's friends hold back a woman from cheating and I've seen women one by one divorce in their thirties because all they see is what there husband is not. My wife and her friends value each others respect and relatives view of them. Don't rule out she is…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 10:45 AM
1

My wife and I had several children and also both have over a 100 nieces and nephews including close cousins children. From what I see, both the women and men typically form long term relationships (marriage) with equal education or if not education then professional achievement. Short term the guys who are in the top 10 percent and socially adept may date women that are model looks. But, these relationships don't last. Too much dual egos. If the guys a top 10 percent but shy the first woman to p…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/09/22 10:16 AM
2

Every single man looking for marriage and divorce advice needs to read your post. Men feel duty bound to go down with the ship and save the women and children. If it is not life or death then all your advice is the operative system. No need for you to be sacrificed to their exclusive advantage. I fixed a DB in my sixties and your description of initial conflict is a necessity. Don't take crap. Be cool. Make divorce a logical option without sustained change. Do not tolerate disrespect. Insist you…
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 05:36 PM
4

Your menopause insight describes what many men must navigate in marriage. It isn't just hormones in my opinion but with age both parties need to understand you will both need to change. Based on personal experience I'd say asexual has always been a problem. Before gay was acceptable I think gay..straight marriages where a big problem. (I can sight at least 4 marriages I know personally and one confirmed asexual) Now we should give asexual the same out of the closet acceptance.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/09/22 11:49 AM
1

Must be your experience. I never got passed a few dance steps from college and one evening class, and my parents reaching us as children.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/09/22 11:11 AM
-1

I am less than a good and not great. I believe all your statements. She gets better over time. We look forward to taking a cruise and casually dancing. We don't dance enough to ever be good. Just like to have fun and my wife's headstrong (positive) just bleeds over to dance and a lots of other things. I'd still have married her. Lighten up.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:18 PM
2

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:13 PM
3

You don't understand what I said. People drive cars and sometimes their arrogance and narcissist personality is most obvious. Just saying there are subtle signs everywhere as to personality traits. The dance issue is no big dreal.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:11 PM
1

Yep.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:08 PM
3

Toxic is well defined by you. Annoying describes the most typical behaviors called toxic.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 04:07 PM
1

I'm old school. One daughter married and we never rehearsed ant dance. All we did was some simple moves and people were asking how long we practiced. My wife likes to dance but given her headstrong personality I need to overtly lead. Some responses got my point of how a dance can be perhaps a good way people can meet. Just saying that old can become new sometimes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:06 PM
1

I agree. I'm no master dancer. We make it work.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 04:00 PM
1

We are both independent and my hyperactive and drive with her strong will and consistent focused effort leads to rabbit and tortis pace. Had a deadbedroom but revived now by both parties relearning to be lovers.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:58 PM
2

Yes, someone got my point!
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:56 PM
1

Yes, I'm just old school and some bump and grind I've seen as a chaperone years ago was well done. Wish that existed in the 70s. Lol.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:55 PM
0

My wife likes to dance. It's no big deal for us.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:53 PM
2

No you don't get it. The man uses his hand to question one's partner to move in that direction. My wife either goes her own way or opposite which results in me having to either follow her or push harder. It's just humorous and obviously I'm not upset about it.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:52 PM
0

My wife is awesome and I'm a less than average dancer. She is always cutting me down to size if I don't check my ego. Don't be so quick to think a long term marriage is some male female war. We both have talents and thoroughly annoying habbits and independent personality.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 03:49 PM
1

This is well described in the book "No More Mr NIce Guy". Covert contracts: I'm nice so you should do x, but I didn't state that. Classic sales tactic; Can you do me a favor and tell me the names and contact for anyone you think would buy my product? Bad boys; yes they might ask for favors. More likely they show overt confidence. They make themselves the prize. Women in years past were taught to evaluate the man first as sex creates a bond that can overcome logical reasons not to have a relation…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/09/22 10:35 AM
27

Classic...her friend is her enemy and wants her to join her club. I've known women who later said their friends divorced so they did also. The divorced friends encourage recognition of all the men's defects. You are not allowing her to fulfill her duties by assuming too many chores. Just my opinion. You might be too nice. Your wife may get a rude awakening after divorce. I don't get the whole phone privacy issue. She exhibited terrible irresponsible behavior and threats divorce. I think this eff…
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 10:16 AM
-1

Pregnancy is difficult and painful I'm sure. Howevern I think you should learn to face danger and difficulties with some amount of fearlessness but not foolishness. Sure, simulate the pain. I'm not sure how you do that. My mother said pull your top lip over your forehead. My observation is my wife (5 kids) and both our mothers (near 2x the kids each) and my daughters don't make a big deal out of childbirth because they are brave and stoic women. Be more afraid the guy you have sex with won't be …
/r/PurplePillDebate01/09/22 06:13 PM
10

It seems like you are dating based on cultural traditions but with some contemporary considerations. Much of what you wrote seems reasonable and your dad has spot on insight. You didn't get to the physical meeting part which perhaps you should mix in earlier. Spending time doing some activity without expectations of physical touch is a good first meeting. The shopping list method of finding a spouse has inherent problems. Better to find the essential qualities and recognize behaviors that annoy …
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/22 11:01 AM
9

Sleeping in separate bedrooms is either practical because one or both people are light sleepers or it becomes a fertile place that builds on resentments. In my long marriage of 46 years we started sleeping separately about 24 years ago. After about 5 years of this, the separate beds became a retreat from unresolved arguments. I think your issue is not the bedrooms but his or both your commitment to a long term relationship. If he is not committed to you and a future then the trials of life can e…
/r/RedPillWomen28/08/22 09:22 AM
2

Thanks for the insight.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 04:58 PM
7

A great response. I don't understand why people think racism is automatically thrown on top of every discussion of human behavior. Racism, victim mentality and the feminist extremists and extreme red pill all seem to want to follow dogmas and be lazy thinkers incapable of rational balanced thought. I always wonder why there are so many YouTube redpill videos by black men. Plenty of white guys also. Was it just Kevin Samuels got started early and was popular? I grew up with seeing little differen…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/08/22 12:52 PM
17

I'm going to say that I definitely listened to lots of manoshere content and read books. In general I don't see any women I know personally act like the generalized female the content makers mostly portray. You seem to be handling this well but he's getting lost in not being his own leader of his life instead of swallowing all this information whole. I see all this content as part of yellow journalism. There is truth and usefull information but you need to evaluate it. I've got three daughters a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/22 10:19 PM
1

Seems to work out....time will pass and maybe you are correct. The leading part seems to be more letting the man lead many things and the woman others. Some of these relationships are clearly heading down the drain due to the man underperformed and acting like a boy. Men's value is performance. Fail to perform and slack off and trouble ensues. Personal experience.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 04:47 PM
1

Recently I said to my wife of 46 years.... "Wives love their husbands because of what they do for them (implying income)". My wife immediately says "that's right". Then I continued that no woman wants to treat a husband like a child. Then I continued on how love is conditional in a marriage so if the man does not keep performing and improving the sex can stop as the man becomes very unattractive. My wife stopped the conversation right at the part about not having sex, which she had imposed on me…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/08/22 10:39 AM
1

All the advice others give are spot on. You did the right thing in not responding. My wife has smacked me in the face several tines in our long marriage. If there was reddit 45 years ago I'd have known what to do. I'm very reactive to physical aggressive as I was usually a smaller guy and competed based on aggressive response. I.e. it takes the patients you exhibited to avoid a response. I gradually stopped my reacting by grabbing her hands and holding her off. It is far more effective to be coo…
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 11:29 AM
2

No, I'm saying my daughter was acting stupid after marriage and needed someone to point this out. Im Just saying her husband clicked some but not all boxes.it is comical now that the have kids and make an exceptional team with both making trade offs for kids and family. I admire them for working this out with mutual respect. And they both set good boundaries with inlaws. It isn't a cult. When I was a teenager and young man parents and older relatives made what we call red pill perfectly clear. O…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 01:36 PM
1

My oldest daughter needed counciling as she got her JD and insisted he get a masters. The councilor got may daughter to have a reasonable view. Fyi...I'd say daughter is a 6 and husband 6 feet 4, athletic and great humor. Just saying this os more a female thing. My wife is the same way. It's like an instinct to unlearn. Fyi...both stem majors.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/08/22 01:08 PM
3

Yes, but in long term relationships tolerance and fatigue break down boundaries.
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 05:51 PM
1

You are correct. In my case I can be a dominate person when needed and nice guy when needed. My wife absolutely hates the nice guy part if it involves business where a loose..loose is settle where win win was the goal. She thinks only win loose. She's overtly hypergamous and this was well illustrated in her early evaluation of our daughters husbands. My wife is strong willed, has a temper and is otherwise a generous person. Worst mistake I'd made was stopping calling out her bad behaviors such a…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/07/22 03:47 PM
2

I'd say turn off your phone for hours, the TV is off, radio is ok. Make a schedule of tasks and organize enough to be efficient. When kids arrive, read to them, play and make sure the phone and TV are off. Just observations of my wife. She will complain so tell your future husband that he just needs to listen and not judge. Split up work with a spouse and avoid resentment but appreciate you are alive and engaged in life with challenges. Yes, life must be challenging of it gets boring.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/22 11:48 AM
6

I am an employer in the USA owning a small technology company. I have children that are married and have children. Do you have children and are you a woman? I'd say that most of the time the woman (wife) takes the first family leave for months first and the husband uses his leave as needed. One could do the opposite but there is great sadness I've seen in mothers when the must go back to work after the leave period. I've never seen men experience this. Your proposal seems to run counter to the n…
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/22 11:29 AM
20

From a man married 45 years and 68 years old. For many men and me your wife kind ofcalwats looks the same unless you gain excessive weight. My wife looks amazingly like she was at 25 or 35 per my altered vision. . It kind of imprints on your mind like a drug. EXCEPT...if my wife goes off angry and pissed off, frowning and ranting about something. Or like when she decided sex was off the table for 2 years, but ok, she was still attractive. Worked through that one. Lucky me my wife's not gained an…
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/22 12:17 AM
1

The coddled women that are friends of my daughter seem to find very successful men which want a pretty, traditional female to create a home life. The other women seemed to have Partnership marriages with very shared responsibilities. The latter is the norm in my opinion.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 07:29 PM
1

In my experience it is dependent on the state of the relationship. If my wife is angry about something and then proceeds with some very insulting and disrespectful behavior then "she's justifed". I do something by omission or commission and I'm called out I'll admit fault. But, forgiveness is never going to be lasting. It goes into the past offense bank. This make tell my wife about any problem or mistake on my end a choice of near term or long term disrespect. Not all women are like this in my …
/r/PurplePillDebate02/07/22 04:58 PM
2

Your wife might be right sometimes and might be wrong. That's not the issue in my opinion. I think your wife is having buyers (marriage) regret and letting you know that. This starting so soon after marriage and with such ferocity does not foretell a better future. My wife has periodically gone to verbal abuse, withholding sex and belittling me. Some of this is just minor but it can become constant. This became a bigger problem after the first 35 years of marriage. If it was this bad early on an…
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 06:24 PM
1

No kids, end this in my opinion. In her mind she is 100 percent correct. I've dealt with a lesser form of this for decades. It makes you not think straight. Objectively a PT is not paid as high as some other profession. If she wants to cram this down your ego she's being abusive. No way you ever win this in my experience. Say you go entrepreneurial and grow a business. Do you think when there are problems she'll be on your side? Where did she learn such behavior?
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 02:23 PM
3

Married 46 years and daughters are married with kids. Very few divorces across many cousins and friends. Achievement oriented; should be both of you. Able to forge ahead in the face of uncertainty and stress. Independent to the point they are responsible and make rational trade offs. (Financial discipline) Marital love is not unconditional. Accept that and realize loyalty is something you create by performing. Don't chase someone that is not very interested. That goes for both of you. Read and l…
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 11:40 AM
10

I'll give another perspective. My wife of 45 years was the one for me. At 21 we I went exclusive and I married at 23. I don't think I was ever the one as whenever life throws us problems she's quite clearly shown how I ruined her original plan. Back in the 70s she was clearly on the modern day path when we met. She'd been dating more and trying out different men. This behavior I believe leaves an imprint on some women where they always will doubt their mate selection. Almost everyone was getting…
/r/RedPillWomen15/06/22 12:44 PM
1

Stealing women was a c tribal custom for some native Americans. Most wars have the nasty byproduct of women doing anything to survive including accommodating the enemy. Enslavement and rape are other byproducts. Wars are fought over resources, ethnic pride, religion, retribution, defensive actions, etc. War is the last option of diplomatic relations. Men win the war and gained land, riches, the women, and enslaved the remaining men. Only recently have wars been fought to free and change the gove…
/r/PurplePillDebate02/06/22 05:52 PM
1

The old school method. You date and do activities to understand how each responds to situations. You become interested in them as potential long term partners. You are passionately attracted to them but objectively control yourself. You meet each others families and learn about them and they judge you. You start being intamate during this process. This adds great complexity to the emotions. And both parties past relationships accumulated in the background. Disappointments and offenses occur and …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 11:13 AM
1

Most infrastructure which supports all you listed was built, maintained and designed and engineered by men. It's a good symbiotic relationship. If you want to view this bluntly, if the infrastructure fails the rest fails. If the female professionals you mention aren't there a small number of people are ill, uncomfortable or die. No doubt that men and women will swap tasks as need to survive and prosper. You make the point men have often been the large organized groups that built dams, factories,…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/05/22 10:58 AM
2

Fyi, my girls all have more advanced degrees and earning than their husbands. However they are very good at letting the husbands be men. My wife learned quickly not to be critical of the husband's which was her hypergamy in full display. Better now.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 11:31 AM
2

Yes I believe in love and I'm married 46 years. I have the perspective of seeing many long term marriages and love is not a single thing. Love exists in the context of life which will not always go to plan. Love for children might be unconditional but not for spouses. I had a deadbedroom in my 50s and fixing that required research. I concluded that love is a variable emotion with many inputs that increase or decrease the level. I accepted my wife's ever present hypergamy and it must be managed f…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 11:28 AM
2

I was there. My point was not clear. It was not dissimilar in that all the same things existed. I've seen my kids grow and marry. I've heard my parents stories of people's lives. What has changed is social media making it all obvious. The pill was mainstream by 72. The hippy movement was not the majority of people. Sure the style was to be a hippy. The pill was quite common. Safe sex was not promoted before 82 (aids). Women had as many opportunities as they wanted for sex, or could find, 20 perc…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/05/22 11:12 AM
1

Best to laugh it off but not make sport of him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 11:41 AM
3

" I never learned anything while I was talking" this is a helpful piece of advice. I need to sell in my career and questions are the most powerful tool. You ought to have him explaine and define "connected". Genetics? Yes. Maybe in the future? Unknown. Never again? For now yes. In the past, yes. Useful in the future? Unknown. See how pointless the argument becomes as you explore with questions. You can't win arguments or get anyone to see another perspective without asking questions. Acknowledge…
/r/RedPillWomen16/05/22 09:28 AM
14

No mater how long you are married or in a relationship this kind of banter will trigger an instinctual reaction to be skeptical of the relationship. Unless your next statements are to elevate him to a top selection he's going to back off. I absolutely believe you do this instinctually as a test. The man should logically think through this and call it the past and think forward. However, you just gave the guy reasons to see all your other defects instead of your positive attractive attributes.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/05/22 12:06 PM
2

She's right and wrong. As you age your health habbits or bad luck might make either one of you sexually dysfunctional. Settling as a concept makes me cringe. The correct action word is commit. You commit yourself to the other person. Limp dick...I think statistics show this can occur at many ages. At 68 I see no significant change. Lucky and I've always exercised. The wall is always there for men and women. You make tradeoffs. You need to take a long term view. Asking my wife what she was thinki…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/05/22 12:45 PM
1

In the long term, men want to be respected, admired and feel emotionally connected by intamacy and sex. However, a man needs to earn and maintain these needs being met. Men like encouragement to strive for success. Men don't like being scolded and told what to do. I think men often get a "this is the one" feeling and continue the relationship until the woman starts playing hard to get or thinks they can dish out crap. This elicits the "I'm done " and they pull back. If the woman comes back quick…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/05/22 11:17 AM
1

It's taken my wife 46 years to understand the first half of your advice up to financially responsible. Mean Words...they never get retracted after they leave your mouth and enter your spouses brain. There they sit like malignant cells ready to grow with the next dose. No mater how far you bury the hurtful words and actions they sit dormant and ready.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 09:46 PM
1

Ok, I'm just used to getting the opposite interpretation. 😆
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 01:11 PM
1

Control and boundaries are not black and white. I stated that if he was serious about her and lived together then he was settling a boundary or expectations. He is holding her accountable and testing her for the long term. He was quite specific about the details of the behavior. Reverse the sexes. They are together and serious. He's going out and getting drunk with friends and she's not seeing him as a long term prospect. She tells him the carousing is not what she wants. He can stop or continue…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 12:11 PM
0

I'd tell her that I'm not pleased with her behavior and I don't see long term potential. If you are living together and in any way serious then set your criteria for the relationship. This is not controlling or insecure. You control the relationship from your side. Controlling behavior is telling her she can't go out with friends and must ask you. Setting a boundary is saying that if you are exclusive you should not be going out independently with the opportunity to flirt and meet other guys. Ol…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/05/22 11:24 AM
1

Being married for 46 years I'd say marriage is 80/20. 20% of the time is great. The other 80% you grind through life and try to ignor unimportant annoyances or stoicly get through to the next milestone. So you must assess if your unhappy wife is just not coping with the 80% or is past that and she's not even getting the 20%.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/04/22 10:28 AM
2

I'm 67...I'm so tired if people acting like raising kids is some unbelievable burden that's never been burdened by anyone. For hundreds of thousands of years human have had children is far worse conditions. Ridiculous self entitled people with no perspective.
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 01:01 AM
2

My son was speech delayed. Didn't talk much until 3 years old and not well till a few years later. A cute kid that seemed kind of dense. He did have fantastic balance. Rode a bike at 3,5 years. He got bullied a bit and was an OK student, but not ambitious, no really below average. Special Ed until 6th grade. High school He got in with too much alcohol. Wrong crowed but a good heart. College test were kind of low and he was awful at any trade skills. During college which he was less than average,…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 12:57 AM
16

At 46 my wife was 47. We Married at 23/24. Now we're 67/68. I've always found women my age more attractive. My wife gets better with age but those are marriage goggles. Any woman under 55 starts looking too young and while attractive I'd feel like a creepy old man. Stay fit, don't become a stick in the mud. My Dad in his late 80s and now 90s introduced me to his girlfriends as "she used to be a model" . At 67 there is no way the woman looked like a model but you could see she Carried herself wel…
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/22 12:07 AM
2

I read your post from the perspective of being 47 years past that discussion. When dating my wife I'd flipped through her calender (the 70s] and it was clear she'd been marking down her N count. I didn't really count but she was N 3 for me and she was way past that.. I was actually picky and turned down opportunities. I think she was seeking the best option. We matched up in family values, ambition and looks but I am 5 feet 8 inches and her 5n 7. Lol. Anyway, I was being very confident at the ti…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/04/22 11:05 AM
8

Having kids is not that complicated. All kids will have a different experience. Parents make lots of mistakes due to balancing life's responsibilities. Just be committed to your kids and do not fixate on what having kids may gave eliminated from your life. Having kids is not some highly unusual experience that is uncommon for human kind. Only in the modern world does Having kids become some exceptional decisions of great responsibility. Your man in question is more possibly concerned with additi…
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/22 08:19 AM
2

I'm married over 4 decades. Marriage can be great and it can be difficult. All the annoying behavior and issues are noticeable during dating. Having seen many divorces I'd say women file for divorce but many times the guy was a poor choice from the start. Or. The couple got married because it was the next step. If you date and she or you can't manage stress, disappointment, arguments and evolve, end it sooner than later. You both set boundaries and that keeps you on your toes.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 12:17 PM
2

Dodged a cannon ball. Woke, crazy scared of the 19, wants to ride the carousel. Can't stick with anything and she she can't see your the prize. I'm far older than you and I'm amazed how many young women have no idea how important it is to be disciplined in one's decisions. There are women that will be reliable, loyal, and responsible. You can recognize them because they have discipline to make choices. If you know the concept of hypergamy and understand it, it works to your favor. Your ex has no…
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 12:09 PM
4

Absolutely loved your post. I post deadbedrooms and HLcommunity. There are many guys who should read your post. I'm married 45 years. Congratulations and keep it up. Never stop. Rian Stone is great. Best commentary for married guys. Yes, your wife loves you for your performance. That's you. What's your future?, what are you doing today? and why should I respect you? A story Funny event today. Mid thirties daughter saw a picture of my wife at about 22. Wow mom; you look like a super model. 5 feet…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/22 08:40 PM
2

You never arrive to someplace in life. Being successful doesn't insulate you from life. Loosing control and wallowing in helplessness can be excused but doesn't make it better than following Rocky's advice. I've experienced the death of a child due to cancer. We saw many parents divorce or ruin lives. Others forged ahead. I , in the early weeks of finding out the diagnosis, made some stupid financial decisions and got scammed out if 30Ok. I'd been full of my success and life hit me and list by b…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/02/22 01:05 PM
1

We married at 23, planned 5 years of fun. First of five born 17 months later. Then 3 and then twins. At Age 32, five kids. Now we're young enough to be active grandparents. This was normal some decades ago. My grandchildren even met their great grandparents. One should be careful to find a good mate.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 09:36 PM
1

Hypergamy has always been a strategy. Women accept approaches from men based on there own maturity and life experiences. My wife and I have an extended family in the 100s. Those of that are older now experienced marriages where the women bet on men being successful later. This created relationship in our late teens and early twenties. Adult life started early. Women generally supported their men to reach their maximum potential and this resulted in win win dynamic. My adult children joke their m…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/02/22 01:05 PM
1

How did this happen? Maybe smaller families and too much focus on kids when if you have several kids you start making your kids adults earlier. I told my kids, God gives you a set of cards. Play them and don't fret about your intelligence, looks etc. Make the most of what you have. The objective of raising kids is to make the responsible adults as soon as possible. This requires giving freedom to fail, standards of behavior enforced, and security of love. Freedom requires responsibility for your…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 12:19 PM
2

Your post highlights the perception in modern life that youth is for exploration and not for growth. My wife, now 68 coached our daughters to not delay having children. Having a family earlier than later, rather than after all the bucket lists should not be a regret. The statistics you sight correlate with my observations. Your joy expressed for your twins and the simple experiences of getting 3 year olds dressed are memories your carry for your life. Congratulations on taking the lead and not d…
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/22 12:01 PM
1

There is a book, The next 100 years, that describes this. I think in the USA and some EU countries we've replaced the experience of early family formation with an experience life (bucket list).
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 11:52 PM
1

When did the Era of men start? How would we know the Era of men ended? I'd say the advent of hormonal birth control was the start of a major change in male and female interpersonal relationships. The next inflection was tinder and then more on line dating innovations. During the past 50 years clerical work that took exceptional attention to detail and process has been minimized, factory work involving heavy labor was also minimized. I think my observation is that many brilliant women formerly di…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/22 01:23 PM
0

That's way too many words to explain why nuking the deal is carrying a grudge forward, over insignificant events. I think the target company gave you a shit test and you haven't let that pass. But, you realize the deal is the goal.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/01/22 12:10 AM
7

Hey, I raised 4 daughters and they would never pull that crap on your team. At 12, one daughter told me.."dad, there is no hope in business, you either do it or you don't". My business was in a down turn. Look for women who were raised by quality parents that demanded working to your ability.
/r/MGTOW30/10/19 01:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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