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View 1 posts and 301 comments by jelilikins on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
23

MINDSET SHIFTjelilikins/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:25 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
10

it goes both ways You say this, but there is barely anything a man can do that a woman outright can't do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 11:55 PM
11

Isn't this kind of what happened in I, Robot?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 10:26 PM
48

And then they're told they can't complain about it because their attractiveness is what helped them to get work. As though being judged purely for looks is a good thing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/22 11:42 AM
370

He's not even walking in our shoes - he didn't like her and was using her for sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/22 10:10 PM
5

Yes, I'm surprised this is so rarely mentioned! The only reason the police pulled them over the first time around was because of the 911 call. Then they arrive, see she's distressed and decide it's just that she's a headcase 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 11:16 PM
4

And the Cool Girl monologue was really something! In my case I'd read the first part of the book thinking how cool and chill she was and that I should probably be more like that - then BAM! It was a real mindset changet for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 03:29 PM
13

I'm so sorry to hear this. Do you have any idea what could have happened to her?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:45 AM
25

I'd never thought about it, but that could be a downside of that book - makes women seem less at the mercy of men than they actually are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:42 AM
41

I'm actually kind of overjoyed her body was found. The way I saw this playing out was that her remains would disappear into the wilderness and her boyfriend would get off scot-free by simply refusing to cooperate with police since they had no evidence. Now there is a CHANCE they'll be able to identify cause of death etc. Obviously I'd rather she were alive, but I knew as soon as I read about her "missing" that she was dead. Aside: I just read an article saying the boyfriend was now "missing as w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 07:41 AM
5

I love boot cut jeans but feel I never get the shoes or boots right with them. The flare at the end always seems to sit funny. Do you have any tips?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 11:19 PM
28

him not reporting her missing, body or not, spells doom for him IMO. I want you to be right, but sadly that's not evidence, as obvious as it seems. I'm so tired of reading about women being murdered by their partners and the men just getting away with it. I'm tired of my own anger about it. There was a story not long ago of a woman very obviously having been murdered by her husband of 3 years while on holiday. He'd taken out life insurance in her name shortly beforehand, worth millions, and forg…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 05:23 PM
15

I did an MA in Sweden and bike theft was the only prevalent crime in my city. They even said, if you buy a buy a bike second-hand, it's probably been stolen at least once in its history. I think in most places people do lock their bikes!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/21 05:14 PM
21

I read this great article about how the fairies are the actual main characters/heroes in Sleeping Beauty. The prince is just their pawn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 10:42 PM
7

Totally agree! I was the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 10:41 AM
26

long diatribes about her interests Hah, do you mean SPEW? I always felt that storyline was just forgotten about, like all these magical creatures were just treated as lesser beings and slaves and Hermione was the only one who noticed and wanted to give them rights but then it went nowhere. There was that weird statue at the Ministry of the magical creatures fawning all over the wizards that sounded really creepy. I wanted Hermione to win this one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 10:41 AM
37

They want to see many different naked women due to the Coolidge effect. Interesting - I've read it's actually the opposite, that women are the ones who actually want novelty despite old-fashioned notions about the spreading of seed etc. The article talked about a study showing that in a long-term relationship, a woman's desire will wane over time but will perk up again if she starts a new relationship, while a man will still want to have sex with the same woman just as much. Anecdotally this see…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/21 11:48 AM
112

This guy got 4.5 years for a campaign of sexual assault including penetration and a series of stabbings, all on children?? He'll only have to serve a minimum of 3 years? That's so horrific and upsetting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 08:57 PM
5

I saw this yesterday!! Really awful. I want to do a remindme for it in a few years but sadly news stories don't work like that... I have another one too: 21 year old med student with a 51 year old window cleaner. Worst of all, the article isn't even about that, and ignores the age difference entirely, it's just a detail you notice if you're reading properly. https://www.theguardian.com/society/2021/aug/09/uk-couple-completes-challenge-to-take-part-in-101-olympic-sports
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 09:21 AM
43

...and she's 19 NOW so what age was she then...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 09:18 AM
87

Can someone explain to me how anyone ends up in this relationship worrying that they're the AH? Genuinely confused. Thinking that she needs to reward her husband for chores, seemingly no thoughts of leaving? I really can't wrap my head around it. Where he's trapped her with kids or she's mid-thirties and worrying about the clock, I kinda get it. But what is going on with this woman and her low expectations? How has that happened?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/21 11:53 PM
13

I kinda said this in another comment to this post, but I think women have to be very no-nonsense about periods (and maybe about other stuff?? I've not tested this out to the maximum). I would have ZERO TIME for a man to complain about my bodily functions. He can fuck right off. Thinking about a man complaining about the shit women have to go through to propagate the human race (which incidentally they also get punished for by the patriarchy) makes me SO ENRAGED. Incidentally, or not, none of my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:16 PM
16

I honestly keep thinking about your comment, like the idea that a (okay, so I'm assuming western) man would go "ewww" about periods is so wild to me. I'm in my 30s which probably helps, like maybe as a teenager I'd feel more readily embarrassed about them? To me, a man being weird about periods is embarrassing for HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:09 PM
21

It saddens me that this is considered a test or a bare minimum. To me it's leagues below this because it's such a basic human thing, like it would never even occur to me to test for "tolerance of period stuff" because I have an in-built assumption that it's fine. Like I would never think "I have to check that he thinks it's okay for me to eat in front of him," you know? Obviously if a man thought that was gross you'd find it INSANE and bin him immediately without a second thought and without it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/21 11:06 PM
6

First of all, stoke the fires of your rage, and make a BIG LIST of why he doesn't deserve you and all the shit he does that is wrong. Keep it for reference. Second of all, leave. As soon as you can, without further overthinking and second-guessing. You just have to hold your nose and do it. You have to have faith that it's the right thing to do while also knowing that it won't feel good or right. If you wait for it to feel like those things, you won't do it. Read the list when you need to. Hopef…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:36 PM
27

The real story to me here is WHY so many women are turning to OF. Where is this propaganda coming from and how is it so convincing that it's gotten so many women to sell their bodies under such violent and unsustainable conditions? What's wrong with the economy and social safety net that women have no other options? I have yet to see an article on that. THIS. It's simultaneously seen as female privilege to be able to do it and as something that immediately ruins a woman and makes her worthless. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:29 PM
13

I could only get halfway through this article. The abuse described in it is insane. Stalking, rape threats, terror threats, imagine the BBC covering any other industry where this goes on and there isn't a public outcry over the inhumane work conditions. Holy shit, I'm appalled. No one cares because women in the sex industry are considered below the notice of "normal" people. I wonder what proportion of the general public would say it's the girls'/women's fault for going into the industry. Breaks…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:27 PM
18

I think the idea of posting pictures and videos to adoring fans sounds like fun and easy money. They probably imagine men telling them how gorgeous they are while they post pretty selfies. The reality is obviously being pressured into making disturbing content, barely getting anything for your trouble and giving people the power to absolutely ruin your life and reputation, all while lining the pockets of men. I saw an article in the paper about the guys who created it (it's a family business if …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:25 PM
65

I highly recommend everyone read the book, because while the movie is very well done, it's not as good as the actual text. The absolute GENIUS of the book, as far as I'm concerned, is that I genuinely read the first half wishing I was as cool as Amy, and thinking that she seemed like such a laid-back and fun person and good girlfriend. The monologue where she kicks it into touch was such a shocker and a revelation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/21 09:01 PM
9

Scrolled down to the end just to find this information.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/21 05:54 PM
29

I guess the flip side is (and bear in mind I'm basing this purely on nature and NOT the patriarchy): males are lifelong obsessed with finding a mate, and only the best ones are destined to find one after much effort; they're biologically expendable and will inflict violence on each other in pursuit of this goal; females build communities and live in harmony while males live lives of relative solitude. Example: elephants. Mothers and calves roam around together peacefully while bull elephants are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:31 PM
29

As humans evolved to walk upright, our hips narrowed, making childbirth much harder. This is also why children are born so helpless and underdeveloped compared to a lot of animals - because we wouldn't be able to have them safely if they grew any bigger. I guess nature only cares that enough of us survive to propagate the species!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/21 05:25 PM
2

Made me laugh dryly when that guy at the beginning of the video said, "there's a dark underbelly to the site." It's not an underbelly. It's the entire site.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 09:15 PM
14

Oh god, +1 on creative types. They expect your to worship their creative output, too. I had a boyfriend complain that I wasn't interested ENOUGH in his band even though I'd seen him play loads of times. I pointed out that he'd literally never read one of my published articles. He was just like, "oh, yeah."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/21 11:06 PM
22

Whenever I see posts like this I have to remind myself not to downvote.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:57 PM
52

I've been messaging a guy lately who keeps "joking" about drinking warm beer in the park. When I tried to politely encourage him elsewhere he asked if canned G&T would do...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 03:56 PM
16

Rugby is a thug's game played by gentlemen. Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs. It's just so true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/21 08:09 AM
50

I had a guy ghost me once and then a few months later get back in touch claiming he'd gone through a bad patch because his beloved grandmother had died. So I gave him another chance and lo and behold, he ghosted me again a while later. Then came back again as though nothing had happened! This was pre-FDS so I gave him what for rather than blocking him, and he had some lame excuses about not wanting to "catch feelings". He gave up when I clearly wasn't buying it - but STILL sporadically texted me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 08:12 PM
3

Saw a man on a dating app earlier and surprised he fit into my age filters but figured he was an old-looking 38. Then scrolled down and saw he was apparently 27 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 07:47 PM
50

Thank you! I wondered if I was going crazy reading some of these comments. I work in London finance for a European company, and my CEO is a woman. She could not be less like Miranda Priestley.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:22 AM
31

Plus...in what way is he a "partner"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 10:31 PM
34

I too have never liked the "Harry's the best!!!" camp as I'm always hearing people say it. I never got over how badly he took her effort and self-sacrifice for granted. I think Smith is criminally underrated, it's like people don't take him seriously because he's so attractive. He's really attentive, charming and considerate. He's 100% confident and open about wanting to be with Samantha (even when he has women throwing themselves at him 24/7), he lets her be herself, he shaves his head when she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/21 12:22 AM
2

Rats are also friendly, inquisitive and highly intelligent :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 11:58 PM
30

I just want to stop by to say I really laughed at "let's call him Splinter". The rat. Well done you! Here's to a bright future ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 09:12 PM
24

I actually feel bad for the man in this photo, he may be HV for all we know 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:16 PM
25

If you do a search in FDS you'll find it - short version is that this woman started getting mysteriously sick and then came across a jar of slugs in her home and realised her partner was putting them in her food. When she brought it up he naturally passed it off as a "joke". Horrifying stuff. ETA: from memory Reddit at least told her to leave because it was so obviously serious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:11 PM
12

I chuckled at that exception and agree there should be room for those posts (not to imply that the slug story was funny, that was horrific).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:09 PM
19

Thank you for the reminder ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/21 11:02 PM
34

And when they stay over, expecting to be able to wake you for sex whenever they feel like it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:02 PM
39

So true! And the low earner point is true regardless of how many hours are worked, and "feminine" jobs are hugely undervalued, so who takes it on herself to do the lion's share of the housework even if she works more than full time?? Makes me very sad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 10:00 PM
11

To be fair to her, sometimes you just don't meet HWM naturally living your normal life. My hobbies are reading, writing, solo jogging, yoga, hiking. I could artificially put myself in the way of men by e.g. joining a writing group, but a) I don't want to, and b) that would be a much more effort-filled way to meet a very small group of probably LV men. Now, I don't use apps myself, so instead I just live my single life without a man. But I can see where she's coming from. I've been single 4 years…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:30 PM
60

So interesting. I have to admit that the "come hither" finger thing has never done anything for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 10:06 PM
5

100%! I even think I need some concrete evidence-based reason to not want to date someone. It's ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:58 PM
32

I know! describes someone with zero empathy or compassion "He's not a bad guy"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 09:57 PM
29

This is so upsetting. The idea of having a son and becoming the sort of woman who rings his wife to complain when he's upset - let alone in THIS situation - makes my blood run cold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 07:33 PM
15

And then who gets blamed for dead bedrooms again??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/05/21 11:58 PM
1

She looks incredible! Good for her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/21 10:31 PM
79

I love the concept of The Ick. It explains so much without any further description needed. It just is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:52 AM
50

Came here to say this. I hate the way people use that word/name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 09:01 PM
21

I think "Daddy" is pretty uncommon from early teens here in the UK, anecdotally of course. Unfortunately I think using it at older ages is associated with being spoiled and rich ("Daddy's buying me a car" etc). It may not be the same everywhere of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 11:49 AM
40

I did NOT KNOW about this song or its background. Glorious.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:02 PM
15

They have. So so creepy. Maybe the sex robots will befriend women and we'll rule together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 09:55 AM
2

I can't disagree with that, but will it...?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 07:46 AM
13

It is a problem, economically speaking. I agree the world is overpopulated and climate change is more important than anything else. But an aging population will cause a lot of suffering down the line if they do nothing about it. (I think there are other ways than trying to get women to have more children, but that's besides the point.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 01:37 AM
3

Ah - different country, same basic fact. Same the world over really :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/21 02:55 PM
13

I remember this case, was that the couple in their 60s? He throttled her apparently due to the stress of lockdown but it was only about 5 days in. The daughter came along and claimed her dad "wouldn't hurt a fly"...even though he clearly fucking did. I'm so sick of reading about men murdering their partners. That man who drowned his wife on holiday after taking out insurance policies on her life worth £3.5m walked away completely free. Can't imagine how the family feels :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 12:17 AM
7

What about the importance of the job and the need for intangible skills, e.g. caring professions? Absolutely vital but horrendously underpaid because historically women have done it for free.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 11:56 PM
6

I do struggle a bit with the concept of hiring a cleaner, especially in the situation where they're hired because it's the only option other than the wife doing everything (hardly feminist). But what if you're a single mother working long hours and you pay really well? The writer Caitlin Moran used to be a cleaner and has defended the hiring of them, pointing out that people only ever complain about these things when it allows them to bash women. No one is asking men about it. I don't have the a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 11:54 PM
11

You're so right, she's the ultimate cool girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/21 11:11 PM
10

I've recently had some eggs frozen and I must say, it adds an extra layer to your vetting process because the eggs are so valuable and limited in number that I would not want to waste them on some douchebag. (Not that the money is a better reason than the fact you'd be tied for life, but it helps to sharpen the mind!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/21 10:04 PM
31

I think they mean it well, like if you enjoy something yourself then you'll want to help someone else to enjoy it too. Maybe it's anatomical, like the way women enjoy sex seems SO tied to the way their clitoris is placed, and the closer your clit is to your vagina the more likely you are to be able to orgasm through PIV. Reading this has reminded me how terrible sex is 95% of the time, though, and suddenly I'm wondering why we've put up with it so much of the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/21 10:40 AM
51

I read this account by a friend of the family who tried to give him advice about how to talk to girls, including that he could try paying them a compliment to be friendly, and Elliott's response was, "They should be complimenting me." I honestly don't think he even tried that much, he was just pissed off they weren't throwing themselves at him. Found it: https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-28197785
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 11:41 PM
38

Definitely this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 10:33 PM
9

I doubt very much it's physiological, my lovely - it's probably a mental block, which might (but not necessarily) be because of your anxieties about your body. I didn't orgasm until I was around 25 or 26, despite (like you) having had a lovely boyfriend who put lots of effort in, and trying myself. I used to fret that I'd never be able to. I can't say for sure exactly what changed it. I'd broken up with said lovely boyfriend and was casually dating/sleeping with someone fairly new, who knew what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 04:35 PM
79

I thought this. Things are so easy for men. Nothing going for him but 40 days on Duolingo and he easily snags a beautiful woman?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 12:15 PM
3

What do you mean? She said it was excruciating. I'm only relaying what she told me about the experience. ETA: unless I'm misunderstanding what the lidocaine is for but I thought it was a numbing gel. That's what the doctor said wouldn't work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:54 PM
9

I'm with you. I love condoms. Came off the pill about 12 years ago after a nightmarish experience and have only used condoms since. Men never actually complain about this like I expect them to, but if they did they would have to take a running jump.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:52 PM
2

My friend had an IUD inserted and there was a student in the room with the doctor. The doctor told the student (in front of my friend...) that the lidocaine gel is basically just a placebo since the cervix is covered with mucus and won't absorb it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/04/21 07:48 PM
15

Perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 10:04 PM
126

I'd say it's easier for men though as their bodies are less shapely than women's. I struggle really badly ro find clothes that fit my height/waist/boobs/hips and most women I know have similar issues! Men are much more up-and-down so less variation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/04/21 11:12 PM
24

This is why I LOATHED the Bridgerton sex scenes. In most of them it was straight to penetration and she came within 15 seconds as you say. I think it's so damaging and given they wanted it to be a steamy show they could have done 1000x better with a more modern and realistic depiction of female pleasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:20 PM
17

This is the kind of content I come here for :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:41 PM
1

It wasn't me! I just upvoted you to balance it out. Realistically we feel the same way on the whole, I just feel inclined to defend Austen and Mr Knightley 🤣 We can both agree it's vastly preferable to be alive now...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:26 AM
11

But similar principles don't apply. In the early 1800s, women (unless from a few specific kinds of background e.g. if they'd been brought up to be governesses) couldn't earn their own money and absolutely had to get married if they didn't want to be mired in poverty, assuming they didn't have their own wealth - and even if from a rich family, the inheritance often went down the male line only so they wouldn't get any of it. Fear and scarcity was a very good reason to get married back then. It is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:52 PM
23

In the wider context, Harriet is in love with Robert Martin and he with her, and he's a very successful farmer. Emma applies her own standards to Harriet and tells her to turn him down, and Harriet admires Emma so complies even though she wants to marry him. It's a more complicated situation than in the present day because marriage would have been 100% necessary for Harriet to have a secure future, i.e. if she didn't find a husband she would end up destitute. This is why Mr Knightley thinks it's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 03:54 PM
19

I'm surprised by your opinion on Monica Lewinsky. She wasn't being talked about much, no, but her name had been used as a passing joke about blow jobs or "slutty" behaviour for a few decades or so, and it was a ripe time for her (or indeed, anyone) to come out and point out exactly how fucked up that whole mess and her treatment was. I was about 13/14 in the UK when it happened and didn't really think about it too much at that time, but a few years later it blew my mind how she was treated in th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 10:38 AM
4

I just checked and it was season 6, episode 3. Am going to see if I can find it to watch myself! Couldn't agree more on your final sentence. Even the more reasonable criticisms were only levelled at Girls and not any other shows that have the same issues. They'll find any excuse to slate things written by/about/for women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 02:03 AM
4

What about the episode where she went to interview the writer about the #MeToo-style rumours about him? I thought that was absolutely brilliant as a stand-alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/03/21 01:35 AM
52

Yes - her game was called The Landlord's Game and it had two sets of rules - one similar to today's Monopoly where you use unfettered Capitalism to bankrupt your opponents, and one socialist version where you work together. The point was to show how much richer everyone becomes working together. From memory Hasbro kinda tricked her into signing away her rights (which was what the $500 was for) and it wasn't until much later that she realised they'd stolen her game.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 06:02 PM
29

I want to reclaim the word spinster. Its origin is from 1300s women who used to do spinning (thread/yarn) work to support themselves without a man. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/21 08:40 PM
42

Yes, that was my takeaway too! Women making all these everyday efforts, always thinking of others, being prepared. Aren't they great?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 11:11 PM
51

It's done by proportions, not numbers, but there are indeed more men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 07:26 PM
1

You're welcome! I'll look at posting a thread about it at some point, though possibly in the levelling up sister sub. Will have a think about where it's most appropriate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:52 PM
3

I'm 34. In the UK you can only keep eggs frozen for 10 years legally (for seemingly no reason - the "industry" wants this to be changed) so I wouldn't have wanted to do it too early, although pre-35/36 is likely a good idea for egg quality. If there's no limit where you are then the earlier the better. As to when I'll use them...no idea! I'm even a bit of a fencesitter when it comes to kids although leaning towards yes. I'm single so all depends on how my love life goes and then if I would be ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:35 PM
14

I'm doing the process now for freezing - I'm most of the way through the home injections and regular scans. I've always had a fear of needles so was terrified about self-injecting, but the needles are really small and it's only into fat so much better than a vaccination or a blood test (though I've also had regular blood tests as part of this). For me, so far, the side effects have been pretty minimal. My retrieval is on Wednesday and I'll be sedated for it but they say you recover after a few h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 09:58 AM
19

"The Chinese government isn’t just standing idly by. In order to mitigate the negative social effects of having too many unmatched males, the Communist Party has allied with dating websites and matchmaking agencies to promote the notion that being a “leftover” (i.e., unmarried) woman is the worst imaginable fate. Not content to just be pawns in this whole debate, women aren’t standing by, either. Some have started referring tothemselves with a term that sounds like “leftover” but means “triumpha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 12:07 AM
9

He sounds sociopathic, especially in respect of the kids. I'd like a part 2 of this post where we find out just how much alimony and child support he'll be paying her and how she kept the house. I can hear a chorus of divorce lawyers rubbing their hands together.... I'd also like them to share custody so that she gets regular breaks and can pamper herself, but that seems less likely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 09:44 AM
25

I realised the other day that I have an alternative automatic reaction to bad jokes which I seem to do all the time with a younger male colleague - I just pretend I don't think they're jokes. Basically I make a comment as though he was being serious. I did this for AGES without thinking about it, until one day I caught myself wondering why he always thinks I don't know when he was joking (and I was feeling slightly insulted about it 🤣). Then I realised it was because I tend to e.g. stare at him …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 09:48 AM
25

A friend of mine confessed to my friendship group that she often felt bitter about the promotion of junior women at work, often because they'd threatened to leave. Another friend gave her some advice that had stuck with me. When you feel envious of another woman, force yourself to think, "good for her." Maybe even say it. You may not initially feel it at your core, but the more you get yourself into the habit of having the thought, the more you will retrain your way of thinking. (Research shows …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 06:50 PM
7

Someone I know moved to New York and I went to see her and met two of her friends. One of them she'd met via Bumble BFF and had introduced her to the third - turned out the two friends had met themselves because they'd got chatting while one of them was on a terrible date when the guy was in the bathroom 🤣 The non-date one had just gone for a drink by herself, just because, and they struck up a conversation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/21 10:38 AM
4

I was so mad at the last sentence that I nearly downvoted you before realising it wasn't your fault!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/21 08:07 PM
167

First clue: he's the kind of man to use the term "hoe phase" and refers to sex as "pussy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 02:37 AM
54

The thing I find amusing about it is that these stats are always quoted as bad news for women. "POOR WOMEN, men find you less attractive as you age, but men are found attractive at any age!" ...except that people marry partners within a few years of their age, so what these stats mean is that these men are losers lusting after women they can't have.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 12:45 AM
4

Today my colleague mentioned in passing that his baby/toddler daughter got a toy washing machine for Christmas. I wonder if his son has ever received toys emulating domestic chores...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 01:08 AM
71

Very cute!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:51 AM
11

My guess from his phrasing is that he took a mental note of various pieces of information and worked it out, e.g. at one point she said "I spend 50% of my take-home pay on rent" and another time she made some comment revealing about the level of rent she pays, e.g. by comparing it to some other rent they heard about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:12 AM
25

YES, thank you for saying this. I saw a similar meme with different pictures in r/mademesmile or similar and I just thought....ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 09:18 PM
13

The other thing that REALLY bothers me about this is him happily slinging hundreds of these bottles into the dump as though this magically disappears them from the world. Waste workers have enough to deal with without coming across these bottles?! Not to mention that they could probably have been recycled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:47 PM
5

I lol'ed
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 03:42 PM
30

Yes, it's one of the more horrifying aspects of the mental gymnastics of misogyny. Women are worthless, oh except that men and society can't function without them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:21 PM
157

Reading this makes me feel so grateful that I grew up with the attitude that I would NEVER do anything like this for a man. It's something I've taken for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:02 PM
7

Same here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 09:06 AM
6

Yes, he has a thing where he says "I love you forever plus three days" - I guess just to make it longer than forever!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/20 12:27 AM
27

Nice to see a man apply a bit of empathy though. That's something.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/20 12:21 AM
9

But what if they're not like this until it's too late...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/20 11:55 PM
5

It's more a gripe with the way they present her and her storyline. I obviously don't have an issue with her success or the fact she chucks out her boyfriend! ETA: Someone above me basically summed up how I feel about the Diaz/Law relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:19 AM
12

It's in Surrey, a very expensive area. A historic detached cottage conmuting distance from London will not be affordable to a single woman working in publishing. It's like saying a brownstone is modest because it's narrow. I know this is a typical thing that films and TV programmes get wrong, but it seems so obvious to me in this example.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/20 10:05 AM
17

God I can't stand this film. Sorry everyone. I try watching it occasionally for the sake of Christmas, but. Issues: It's PAINFUL watching Iris throughout this film. Such a doormat. (I know she changes, but hardly, and only right at the end.) Also as usual in Hollywood films, she's knockout beautiful but gets the okay guy. And Jasper gets no comeuppance. Cameron Diaz plays the most vapid, unlikeable character. She has basically no growth so they shoehorn in the "oh suddenly I can cry, it must be …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 10:19 PM
8

Thanks sis :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 05:02 PM
45

I honestly wish this concept had become clear to me 3 years ago. So embarrassed for my former self!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 04:42 PM
5

I used to think this but have more recently realised that most of my boyfriends have been smokers. I think a lot depends on the guy, as some do smell of it all the time but some are very careful about it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:40 PM
3

Yes, absolutely this. It's called passive investing. Have a look around for a platform with low fees and a good user experience (Vanguard as mentioned seems to be highly rated). There are good subreddits on FIRE too and people tend to happily share their monitoring/planning spreadsheets. I made my own but it's a bit unfinished e.g. I don't own my own place yet so haven't filled in the mortgage bit (it's also very UK-centric e.g. when thinking about tax and pensions). There are plenty of good one…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 03:35 PM
2

"Men seem to think women are bad at casual sex, that they catch feelings when they shouldn’t, that they always go “crazy”. But I disagree – it’s men who are bad at it. You ask for the minimal amount of respect and somehow they still manage to go lower. That’s what so often makes it an unfeasible arrangement." This, at least, is correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:42 AM
6

Not to mention that she clearly doesn't want that herself as she tells him very clearly that she wants to work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/20 08:10 AM
3

I've always found my male doctors to be very gentle and caring. Sadly the judgmental-seeming doctors I've had (e.g. about my decision not to be on hormonal birth control) have been women. That being said, the vast majority of doctors I've seen have been great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/20 12:43 AM
3

LevelUp2021 Independent2021 Would like to see something that us single ladies can enjoy! EDIT: I love how WearTheCrown sounds but it's a little vague. 2020's had a really clear message to it!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 11:55 PM
1

I like the second one!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/20 11:53 PM
22

You've reminded me that at my last office they added a special sanitary bin to the disabled loo and put up a sign requesting that you not use the other bin (which was extremely deep, always nearly empty, and lined with a plastic bag) for sanitary products. It didn't really occur to me at the time, but someone must have complained that there were tampons in the bin or something. Bear in mind the bin would have been emptied every single day so it wouldn't have been the smell. Honestly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 09:55 AM
21

I LOVE this story.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 10:30 PM
24

I'm an actuary. Sorry this guy was such a douche. I'm a fan of actuaries myself, in general, and would absolutely date one (intelligent, nerdy in a good way, successful but normally actually really interested/invested in the career and not just in it for the money) ... but there are still bad apples everywhere. I'm glad you got rid!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:46 AM
4

Not just me then! The other comments make me wonder if I unknowingly live under a rock.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:19 PM
5

I've not even heard of those other films. Very odd! I didn't think I was that out of touch with the Hollywood machine, but maybe I am. It's true that Miller's story is basically anti-FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 03:15 PM
19

Really?! I dunno, maybe it's because I'm British? I only ever saw him in Black Panther and wouldn't have been able to tell you his name. Alternatively it's because he's a superhero film actor and I really don't care for the genre, at least not in recent years. My bad I guess!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:45 PM
4

I can't even believe he was being paid more than her - surely Sienna Miller is way more famous?! Sexism at its best.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/20 12:11 PM
90

And the poor teenage girl as well. Desperate to make it in the biz and he obviously dangled the fake possibility in front of her in exchange for sex. I hope she's able to get her life back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/20 12:41 PM
5

100% agree. Also Diane Keaton, who for some reason just seems like someone I would love to be friends with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/20 11:42 PM
1

Oh really? How so? Genuine question - I love her honest and upfront take on beauty, and her video on feminine energy is great.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 10:36 PM
176

Ugh. Like many men, wants to enjoy all the upsides of performative femininity without being at all inconvenienced by it. I bet he doesn't mind the makeup when he's looking at you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 09:44 AM
5

I feel like I'm avoidant while dating but secure in a relationship - but because of the first bit rarely get into relationships. Then I'm weirdly anxious in my friendships. I'm sure all of the above qualifies as "not a thing", but is my own take on it 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/20 09:06 AM
3

Yes actually (37 vs Emma's 21), and you could argue he knew Emma from her infancy which is gross (albeit "normal" for the time, blah blah). I'm just pickme-ing because Jeremy Northam in the film adaptation is 🔥 😂 Quote from Knightley: "There is one thing, Emma, which a man can always do if he chooses, and that is his duty; not by manoeuvring and finessing, but by vigour and resolution." ALSO, he immediately disapproves of HVM-seeming and smooth-talking Frank Churchill, who pretends he's in love …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/09/20 10:16 AM
3

PS Sense and Sensibility is by far my least favourite Austen. Although I enjoyed the film.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:16 PM
7

Wentworth! That's his name! I did like Persuasion. Also, I live in the same county as where they go to the seaside. Must read it again :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 11:15 PM
15

It's nice to imagine him foaming at the mouth and muttering in a dark room somewhere while composing that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:46 PM
22

Some aren't! Henry Tilney from Northanger Abbey basically decides to marry Catherine because she likes him first and his ego is flattered. Colonel Brandon in Sense and Sensibility is supposedly a great bloke, but he marries a teenager who is less than half his age. Even Darcy has his moments, although they're forgivable. I think the Persuasion guy is okay. Mr Knightley is #1! Look to Emma for your HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 10:45 PM
19

Such male privilege not to consider for one second that staring isn't just unpleasant but is actually scary BECAUSE of all the men who don't control themselves in other ways. If you can prevent someone (who in all likelihood has experienced sexual assault) from fearing for her own safety, just by averting your gaze for a second, why wouldn't you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/09/20 09:15 AM
7

The problem with this is that it's ambiguous. I've had a guy I know like me on Hinge along with a friendly greeting and some sort of innocent question, and I couldn't be doing with not knowing if he was testing the water, so I just noped him. Felt slightly bad but I didn't want to open a can of worms that would be difficult to close...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 10:32 PM
95

I was upset about the C section bit too but I then realised, I think people were telling her it's major surgery and she'll still need a substantial break from sex so it's even more of a dumb suggestion. Her response was to say she was never considering it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:51 AM
32

I think it's a great show (leaving aside that dumpster fire last season). I know some women are against it due to the rape scenes "used as plot", but if anything I think it better reflects the reality of life for women all over the world throughout history. For example, how many war films have you watched that mention "oh by the way, these heroes you've been cheering on then raped thousands of women"? Plus, women in that show have actual characters and aren't just sanitised stereotypes of "kind …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/09/20 08:47 AM
2

You're so right. I didn't think of that. IUD does sound like the best option then. Some struggle with it but I also know a few people who say it's the best thing ever. Most men know fuck all about "woman stuff" so would probably go undetected.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 01:58 PM
17

It's darkly humorous how China has fucked itself and is suddenly going, "oh hang on, maybe women do have some value???" I'd love to think it'll change things for women but it'll probably just lead to further oppression. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:29 AM
3

Yes this - it's deeply amusing they're expecting this incredible level of technological sophistry to be ready that quickly despite how fucking complicated it is - in the meantime all we need is a single drop of sperm and a vibrator, and we're fine. This sort of thing reminds me that being female isn't all bad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 11:28 AM
2

I have a little notebook I write life and style tips into, and I wrote down a ton of material from that one the other day. It's majestic!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 09:22 AM
65

I can see that they MIGHT think that because she gets to live there for free, she should pitch in more. But I doubt misogyny isn't involved. Imagine if she took on all the cleaning. Do you think down the line when she and boyfriend move out, or they get married, he'll suddenly start doing his fair share?...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 11:43 PM
9

Sometimes you have to do things that feel wrong because you know intellectually that they're right. It's really hard, but when you're through the other side you will thank yourself so much for doing it! I believe in you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:44 PM
2

Just checking - are you sure? Here in the UK psychological abuse is now a criminal offence (although admittedly this is fairly recent, so I can sadly imagine it's not the case in many places). Are you able to prove any elements of his abusive behaviour for proceedings down the line? Anything you can save will be helpful. Make sure any screenshots or recordings are backed up to a Google Drive account or similar in case he takes the phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:34 PM
2

Great idea. Maybe if you told them over the phone they could ask you to go somewhere in the surgery without him (for some made-up reason) so that you can talk about birth control options.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:29 PM
6

The Uber pick-up isn't a bad idea. I feel like people here could help via that sort of thing (directly paying for stuff needed), or via supplying cash to a crowdfunding page, or even in a very direct way if someone lives locally. There must be a way. I'm so saddened that the DV shelters can't help more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:27 PM
4

Yes, the injection feels like a good option. I've heard sometimes men can feel the IUD strings hanging down?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 06:09 PM
12

I was going to say this too. I want to help. Obviously will only work if he can't access that empty bank account - but it sounds like it's just yours?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 01:00 PM
8

Just brilliant. It really gets you thinking...the males are much more attractive than the females as well as putting all the effort in. When you're looking at animals it makes sense because you can see that the females are much more biologically valuable than the males. What happened with humans?? (Answer: patriarchy)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 12:24 AM
38

I read this great article that said that Sleeping Beauty is the most feminist Disney film because realistically the prince is a boring pawn and the heroes are the three fairies - who all have strong, distinct personalities and live independently in the woods together with their adoptive daughter, having arguments about which cake to make and which they do not share with any men :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:22 PM
9

Ooh what is the Vaseline for? doesn't it just rub off and make your pillow greasy?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:12 PM
9

Agreed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:10 PM
82

'Harmange, a 25-year-old activist from Lille, said the book is an invitation to women “to imagine a new way of being, to take less account of the often unsupported opinions of men, to consider the adage ‘it is better to be alone than in bad company’ seriously, and to rediscover the strength of female relationships full of reciprocity, gentleness and strength”.'
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 03:41 PM
4

I love her too. The one on feminine energy is brief but brilliant :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 11:09 PM
4

"Eggar your skin is hanging off your bones" EDIT: I'm not trying to make light of the story, i I just love that scene/film. There have been some truly horrific kidnap stories. Unbelievable that a woman participated in doing that to a young girl :( I strongly recall that another kidnap story - I think it was Natasha Kampusch - was because the molester wanted to raise her from age 9 to be his ideal wife or something. A lot of these stories seem to be extreme versions of age gap relationships - los…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 10:54 PM
68

I love the steadfast promotion of female interests and sisterhood. I wasn't "not like other girls" before, but FDS has prompted me to notice more how great women are. It's made me feel that despite everything, being female is actually pretty wonderful - I love the relationships I am able to develop with other ladies and the community that women build together all over the world. Men will largely never understand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 08:15 PM
4

I love her. She has great pragmatic beauty tips and is very real and honest. I already bookmarked this video to watch later so am glad to see it here!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:30 PM
1

I hate talking to doctors about birth control. I had a nurse tell me that there's no link between depression and the pill, when I was 21, and I believed her and went away and kept taking it. Eventually I came off the pill and it was like day and night as far as my mood was concerned. That was over a decade ago, and since then I've had multiple doctors tell me I should be on birth control if I'm having sex regardless of condom use and side effects. Their shaming really angers me! I'm 33 and fortu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:28 PM
3

I agree with you. Praise where praise is due.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:13 PM
2

PS I've bought a few nice pieces from Bravissimo/Pepperberry, for others who have this problem, because they size you in terms of both clothing size and how curvy you are. However, it can be a bit hit and miss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:03 PM
3

Agreed - and I get so frustrated/angry at the way clothing is sized for women. I'm well endowed in the breast area and am fed up of seeing bikini tops sized like ordinary pieces of clothing and dresses with no room for boobs - assuming women should be a uniform body type across the board. It's borderline misogynistic. Clothes shopping is draining and depressing because even though I love my body, trying to fit it into craply designed clothing makes me feel like I hate it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/20 04:02 PM
46

It's a good point - best to make sure a man can deliver in bed before marrying him, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:36 PM
50

I thought this, 100 hours is loads!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/08/20 11:33 PM
1

PS I probably didn't explain it very well ...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:02 PM
1

Sure thing :) I put together a simple example but I don't think I can PM files (if this is wrong, someone feel free to say). If you PM me your email I can send it over that way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 07:02 PM
33

I think it's really nice - he's even carrying her shoes for her. Surprised at some of the naysaying!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 02:56 PM
1

Well done you for taking this positive step and choosing to gain control over your finances! 💪🏼 I can't offer too much help but I recommend you monitor your spending - I use a spreadsheet on my phone to budget and every time I spend I enter the amount into the relevant row and the spreadsheet adds it up for me. It kinda goes: incoming money at the top followed by a deduction of the amount I want to save each month; section for fixed expenses e.g. monthly rent, phone bill, student loan repayment;…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/20 11:41 AM
119

The cake smashing thing is outrageous. Is it an American custom? I'm British and have never been to a wedding where it has been done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 05:54 PM
7

It does sound confusing from the inside, but I should tell you from the outside that the fact you don't find him sexually OR romantically attractive makes it very obvious that you shouldn't go down this road. He may be a lovely person, but if you can't check the most basic boxes then you're settling and it has to be a no. It's fairer on him as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:42 PM
13

Good for you! I love to see it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/20 04:17 PM
12

I don't mind grey hair, but in general men's relationship with their hair bothers me. I've never gone out with a guy who didn't cut his hair far too short when he went because he didn't want to have to go back to the hairdresser too soon. Half the time they full on shaved their heads. If I suggested that I found him less attractive on account of it, the implication was that I was a huge bitch and had no right to tell him what to do with his hair. While the latter is true, the amount of care and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/20 10:03 AM
20

Oh god definitely. Another fave Shakespearian heroine is Beatrice from Much Ado About Nothing - witty and brilliant. Also love Emilia from Othello even though she has a really raw deal. See this great monologue (had to space it out or the lines went funny): ---‐-------- But I do think it is their husbands’ fault If wives do fall: say that they slack their duties, And pour our treasures into foreign laps, Or else break out in peevish jealousies, Throwing restraint upon us; or say they strike us, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 10:14 AM
7

I can't help but just wanted to say I have some of the same thoughts. I think once lockdown is over I'm going to try OLD intensively for a bit and then make a decision on whether to delete all the apps for good.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:23 AM
52

What are the thoughts on 10 Things I Hate About You? I feel it might be one of the better rom-coms for FDS. Kat is brilliant, obviously - doesn't compromise on what she wants or care what people think. Even Bianca starts off as a pick-me who wants douche canoe Joey, but then realises she would rather out with the guy who pursues her and will treat her well (notwithstanding terrible activities iro paying a guy to date her sister).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:20 AM
98

There's also The Notebook, which I saw 16 years ago and immediately hated - but thankfully people seem to finally be noticing it's fucked up. Threatening to throw yourself off a ferris wheel to force a scared girl to agree to go out with you? Sure, romantic. 27 Dresses is also pretty bad. Katherine Heigl as an uber pick-me who is obsessed with getting married. The film also murders the song Benny and the Jets, and I can never forgive this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:14 AM
133

🤣 Brilliant post, 10/10. +1 for Knocked Up. Let's not forget that she only even gets pregnant because he finds putting a condom on too difficult and throws it away without her realising.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/20 08:09 AM
20

Agreed, woman is hilarious! I lost it at "a cucumber in my hand and a cucumber in my heart". Also when she's talking about her dealer who hooks her up with huge batches.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/20 08:11 AM
141

I've read this theory before. When men feel bad about themselves, they then look down on their partners for being with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:21 PM
14

I'm British :) I do agree. I guess I feel AP is different because if you pay attention, he's a massive dork. He can't get reservations at the restaurant he wants, he's not as stylish as the men he obsesses about beating, (cf: business card scene) and when he tries to strangle his gay colleague the colleague interprets it as a come-on. He can't even get anyone to take his murdering seriously. The one good thing Keith Lemon has done is that take-off of the Great British Bake Off, called The Great …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 10:37 PM
12

Some of the older films are pretty disgusting too for the rape vibes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:54 PM
18

They lined up Skylar to be hated in the very first episode when it's Walt's birthday so she gives him a hand job but is on Ebay at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:53 PM
76

AP was written by a gay man to satirise the toxic masculinity and elitism of Wall Street (e.g. a murdering psychopath fits in with them easily because they're so shallow and self-centred - Bret Easton Ellis said that being a man he was allowed into those circles, but being gay he didn't participate), and was directed by a woman. I think it's a real shame that it's misunderstood and LVM flock to it because "it's cool". IMO it's very clever and funny. WOWS though...yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:50 PM
3

Oh of course. I was assuming the OP was in the States, as most Redditors seem to be. It is horrible to think that there are so many places where homosexuality is outlawed. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 11:03 AM
23

Yes, and Jordan Belfort himself claimed the film was a cautionary tale. Right... The one exception I have is American Psycho, which I think people often miss is satire. To me it's masterfully done - written by a gay man and directed by a woman, too. (NB: I realise Bret Easton Ellis is awful.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:26 AM
57

I don't get it either. This film pissed me off tbh. I'm in no way a prude, but it's SO LONG, 90% without plot, also 90% gratuitous shots of him snorting coke and fucking hookers. It's blatantly made so men can watch it and fantasise about that hollow misogynistic existence being their life. Just seems quite pathetic. I can even tell you the point it lost me. At the beginning of the film there's a shot of him driving while his wife is giving him a blow job, and he narrates directly to straight ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 09:21 AM
45

I agree in the main, but I'd say there are plenty of women in late 30s and early 40s who are still hoping it might happen for them. Anecdotally and in my mind (hah) they're largely well-heeled career women with their shit together and way too good for any of these guys going on about the wall.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:54 AM
18

Honestly can't believe some men STILL do this. It made sense in the 60s but not now. Unless you live in one of those horrible Republican states where they hate all non-WASPs (NB: I'm British and have no idea if places are actually as cartoonishly bad as they sound when I read about them online). Really sorry this happened to you - at least it was "only" 5 years - obviously a long time but not a whole lifetime together.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/08/20 08:50 AM
1

My ex (who had such a nice personality but I assume had been babied growing up) wasn't great at looking after himself and his dental hygiene was terrible. I used to pick just one or two things to "nag" about because I didn't want to feel like his mother, and his teeth were one of them. He actually had lovely teeth (somehow) but it used to cringe me out thinking about the damage he was doing to himself when he kept not brushing them. I made him leave a toothbrush at my place so he would brush whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:30 PM
4

My internalised misogyny was relatively light, but since finding this sub I've definitely become way more pro-sisterhood. It's actually a lovely feeling!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 11:15 PM
36

Just wanted to echo the recommendation. So good! The main character isn't exactly FDS, but the show as a whole has realy great complicated female characters and relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 10:50 PM
21

Right?! Need to print this out and frame it as my new dream.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/20 08:09 AM
37

This is some Cool Girl bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 11:34 PM
3

Pool. At university there was a rule that if you "seven-balled" your opponent (ie you won AND he potted nothing), he had to run around the table with his trousers around his ankles. Was nice to make happen :) Some teams also had a rule about making a guy down a yard (ie drink a huge amount of beer from a bizarre long glass) if he was beaten by a woman. Obviously I found this patronising and awful, but it had its benefits. To be honest though I had a lot of male friends at uni and we played pool …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 10:55 PM
24

So his body is exhausted from working SO hard (presumably the reason he can't get therapy or work on supporting her better and listening to her), but he has enough energy to essentially rape her on a regular basis and then do loads of gaming with his friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 04:00 PM
9

I've realised this is such a common thing that men do. Last year I called out two guys for treating me disrespectfully (breaking it off as I did so) and their responses were along the lines of, "I guess our heads are in different places, sorry I hurt you." Filled me with rage. I think now post-FDS I'd just go straight to block.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 03:25 PM
15

I actually found this FASCINATING. The funny thing is that steps 2, 3 and 5 have some great advice, which isn't so far from some FDS principles. That is, be HV. Have a life, have friends, work out, have hobbies, and (in the hobbies thread linked it said this) include your children in your hobbies so you can can bond with them. Dress better. Be attractive and rounded and interesting. The other funny thing is that if those steps work ... that isn't "dread". That's just being a desirable partner. O…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/08/20 11:44 PM
2

Good for you. Yesterday I found an unsent letter I wrote my ex to let steam off/gather my thoughts about his hurtful and frustrating behaviour - I guess this was about 6 years ago, when we were together - and I actually chuckled to myself that I ever let him get to me like that, and reflected how much better off I am now. And how incredibly glad I am that we broke up not a moment later. Hopefully like me you'll read this back one day and give yourself a huge smile about how far you've come. Keep…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 11:21 PM
25

Even worse - men consider that "the rest of the house is hers" because she's doing all of the housework everywhere else.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/07/20 07:22 AM
2

Your last paragraph is incorrect. FDS is very strong on women having to be HV in themselves and level up, i.e. sort themselves out physically/financially/emotionally before they can expect the same from a man.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/07/20 11:53 AM
7

There's a French drama series about the conductor of a philharmonic orchestra called Philharmonia which is great. The main character is an extremely talented conductor who takes on an orchestra and faces loads of misogyny for being young and female, added to which her husband is cheating on her with the worst pickmeisha you can imagine, and she's worried she might have a horrible genetic disease. But she's really badass and confident, meets everything head-on, and is just really cool and classy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:21 AM
30

My issue too. Hard not to take it personally when everyone on FDS is always saying they get constant male attention!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 11:09 AM
1

I'm actually put off men who use Instagram and Snapchat. (I use neither.) Is that just me?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 08:52 PM
7

Thank you for the video - so interesting! Going to look into what she talked about, e.g. FIRE and investing clubs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 08:18 PM
8

I wasted far too much time on Facebook when at uni, and regretted it. Then when Instagram became popular, I made the decision not to get into it, because I figured the easiest way to leave social media would be not to update to the newest channels and thus phase myself out. Sometimes I feel a bit left out when friends are talking about Insta stuff but I absolutely made the right choice - I hate how fake and superficial it is, I hate the influencer culture, and I have friends who say they've star…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 07:58 PM
58

I honestly can't even imagine it. She had FORTY injuries. What the absolute fuck? How did she die "in a pool of blood"? What the fuck was he doing to her?? Absolutely vile. I can't even comprehend how her family must feel about all this. One of the few situations where I hope for a bit of mob justice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:26 AM
1

Nice! I've picked up a few languages in lockdown. How do you access TPRS? It sounds interesting. OP, Rubiks cube is a fun one. It's really just memory (assuming you don't work it all out by yourself). It's a fun and impressive party trick, and you can use it as a stress ball.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 11:07 PM
6

You're so right. I read an article yesterday about a couple who suffered in a horrible chimp attack. The basic story is that they kept a chimp as their own child for decades, were eventually forced to give him to a sanctuary, then when visiting a different chimp escaped and mauled them - well, mostly the man. It's a really horrifying story. The aside that really struck me about the story was how this guy treated his wife with ZERO respect, seemingly from the get-go. Early on in their relationshi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:43 PM
32

And as far as racism goes ... isn't there a black women subreddit that is just for porn?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 05:57 PM
2

I came here to say this - joined both of the first two yesterday. r/fencesitter is great for likeminded people and r/childfree is full of people boasting how great their lives are without kids, how much cash they have, how free and easy everything is. My default is no kids unless I find a HVM who makes me want them. I sometimes second guess this and fear I'm missing out, but those two subs really help. And if I change my mind one day, I'll look into adopting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:33 PM
19

Multiple friends (independently of each other) have raved about this, it's meant to be incredible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 11:08 AM
22

I thought curiosity, but reading the article, the people in the experiment were all people who had already received the shock and had said they would pay money to avoid being shocked again 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 08:44 AM
3

How lovely! Wish I could upvote again for "laugh like a dying horse" 😆
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 11:18 PM
12

I couldn't work out if the ending was her ACTUALLY being cool with it or just pretending she was because she was pathologically incapable of stating what she wanted. He wanted to give up the opportunity to stay with her and she told him to go. I like your perspective though. In the book you can tell a bit more that he wants to be with Marianne all along but finds it hard being with her because she hates herself so much and keeps asking him to hit her etc which he finds upsetting and is not equip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 10:54 PM
30

The "unsanitary" argument blows my mind given that men a) don't shave ANY body hair and b) sweat more than women do. Bizarre. Actually hair traps dirt and sweat, keeping the lady garden slightly safer from infection. Not to mention, the vagina is self-cleaning. I have never shaved/waxed that area (bikini line aside) - I just trim. Have had no complaints, and when discussing with boyfriends they've been entirely unbothered. I've also not had any reluctance with oral. I've been thinking about this…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 12:21 PM
14

Guys, I urge you to read quotes from Austen's letters. She's brilliant. I struggled to find a good collection of them online - but here are a few. https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/6195-jane-austen-s-letters#:~:text=%E2%80%9CI%20do%20not%20want%20people,liking%20them%20a%20great%20deal.%E2%80%9D&text=%E2%80%9CTo%20you%20I%20shall%20say,come%20at%20last...%E2%80%9D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:38 AM
7

Exactly my view! I find it's unusual, though. I also prefer Keira Knightley as Elizabeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/07/20 12:33 AM
23

I love AlexandrasGirlyTalk! Her one on feminine energy is lovely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 11:56 AM
8

Yeah, I think these things are very case-by-case. I think I had my first orgasm at about...25? I had a 4.5-year relationship before that where I never came, but I wouldn't blame my boyfriend at all - he was actually very very patient and giving. I think it was largely some mental block at my end. Once I asked him if he had any sexual fantasies and he said giving me an orgasm :'(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 05:51 PM
97

It's truly astonishing, isn't it? Even when a woman is the main character, she's never allowed to end up with the guy she wanted. Imagine male-centric films routinely having that kind of outcome...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 10:37 PM
7

PS I think most of the time it probably isn't at all subtle. I had a guy decide to suddenly do magic tricks on me during a date once and the whole chat was him being really over-confident so it was incredibly unappealing. He also said something along the lines of how if he doesn't like how a woman looks naked he'll just leave during sex 🤣 Nice try brother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:49 AM
11

Negging = subtle put-downs or back-handed compliments, e.g. "I like your skirt, I've seen about 10 other women wearing it today". Peacocking = drawing attention to yourself with flashy props or ostentatious clothing, e.g. fun hat which they're hoping drunk women will take off and wear. "One-itis" is where a man is too hung up on one woman. He should be aiming to go for many women. They use magic tricks/sleight of hand to get attention too. They'll talk to the friends of the girl they want and ig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:42 AM
5

Read this! HV role models in Disney :) https://www.tor.com/2014/11/06/how-sleeping-beauty-is-accidentally-the-most-feminist-animated-movie-disney-ever-made-and-how-maleficent-proves-it/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:18 PM
32

How is "be young" helpful advice 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 02:52 PM
10

Thank you, what a lovely thing to say! I think I'm pretty good at not settling in relationships, although I did become a bit more pick-me after this one. Sadly it's now 9 years later and he's married with a kid while I'm single - BUT it's always been good to never have to see his mother again. I can't imagine what she'd be like with a grandchild.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:56 AM
7

He is Turkish so probably assumes that gives him immunity from being racist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/07/20 10:23 AM
47

This is so true, sadly. My only serious relationship was with a fantastic guy with MANY HV qualities. Kind, generous, caring, expressive, and so on. He was handsome, charming and likeable. I'll admit that I still have days where I think about him and feel sad that I ended things just because the dating market is such a shit show and my relationships following it haven't been good. However, he was an only child with a very oppressive/obsessive mother. There was an atmosphere in his house where hi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 11:47 PM
18

I rejoined Tinder this morning and it is UNBELIEVABLE. 95% of profiles have no words and the ones that do are awful. One profile said all of the following things: 1) "420" with an emoji of a maple leaf (LOL) 2) "A sense of humour so dark it picks cotton" 3) "Would hold the door open for you just to slap your bum as you walk past" 4) "Coffee spelled backwards is eeffoc...no idea what that is but the 3rd word in this sentence is how I'd love to bend you over" I selected to see women's profiles too…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 11:07 PM
5

Interestingly, I saw a video someone posted on FB by a (male) self-help guru type, who stated that women cheat when they're not getting what they need from a relationship, while men cheat when they feel bad about themselves for some reason. When this happens they have less respect for their wives because the wife has chosen to be with them, so that along with the need to boost self-esteem leads them to be unfaithful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 09:58 AM
3

I thought the N stood for Negative 🤷‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:24 PM
18

There's a subreddit called "Ask Crones" which I think is a great idea and hilarious - shame it didn't really take off!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:54 AM
22

Weeeeeeell, you could interpret it to mean that women have intrinsic value, which is an FDS belief.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:52 AM
18

Just joined - I LOVE the name. Wish it had an app, but with time perhaps! 🤞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 10:02 AM
9

I've seen this argument a lot on FDS and it confuses me somewhat insomuch as it relates to my own (hypothetical) circumstances. I don't intend to do more than my share of housework or emotional labour in any marriage, and I may not have children. Therefore by this logic I should pay half, no?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/20 03:55 PM
8

Sorry, my comment reads like a criticism but I think I was basically agreeing with you and then trying to work out to myself why it didn't qualify the programme as bad!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 11:14 PM
48

You're right, but Phoebe Waller-Bridge is fantastic - and isn't it nice seeing a fleshed out female character, flawed and troubled, not defined by some eventual romantic conclusion and evading the burden of being "nice" and 100% likeable? And written by a talented woman who is getting some recognition? I loved her relationship with her sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 09:54 PM
14

I've been wondering about this too. I'm not sure I want kids, but if I decide I do, and I don't have a partner, I might try the adoption route. I think a big thing will be making sure you have plenty of dollar - 1) because adoption is a hugely expensive process and 2) to show you're in a good position to care for a child. You'll obviously need to have plans for working and childcare, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 04:58 PM
53

Jesus, that's horrible. I know birth control can easily fuck you up, but that it robbed DECADES from your mum's life is truly awful. What were the doctors doing?? Oh yes, they probably didn't realise it was the IUD, since the medical profession rarely gives a shit about women's problems and likely hadn't researched it properly. I'm sorry for your mum, but thank god she's better now - especially since your dad has proved himself as a husband.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 10:40 AM
3

This is hilarious. Please send updates!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/20 01:37 AM
15

I love this post and have bookmarked the thread for it, thank you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 10:39 AM
33

Just unbelievable. In the thread commenters say, "even if he didn't want the child, it's still a medical procedure." Everyone has forgotten it's a medical procedure she ONLY needs because HE IMPREGNATED HER. Imagine if he accidentally tripped her up so she got concussion and then he just left her to deal with it - bad enough anyway but having caused the situation himself, it's horrendous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 11:34 PM
4

Just to weigh in - I'm also 33 and single and have just revamped my skincare routine entirely with The Ordinary, which I love!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/20 11:19 PM
18

I think you're handling it well, but please don't let the ex make you feel awkward and uncomfortable! a) it's his problem and b) it'll at least be a reminder to your current bf that you ARE worth fighting for. You showed the current bf that you're not remotely interested, so he should take it in good faith that the ex is just stepping over the line and it's nothing to do with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 10:47 PM
47

This is fantastic. I love too that he didn't shy away from saying "we" to describe men, ie he wasn't desperately clinging to the "I'm a great guy so it's nothing to do with me!!! NOTALLMEN" narrative.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/20 08:42 PM
1

Aw thanks, that is very helpful! ♥️ I don't think Hinge is very popular here so you're probably right. I lived in London before where Tinder is the ultimate shitshow but where I am now it could be the best bet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 06:38 PM
18

Maybe 1% of men bother to send me any kind of message, and when they do it's to say something ridiculous or mansplain a joke in my profile to me. I'm confused by all the women on here saying how many matches they get!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:55 PM
3

I lived there when I was already in a relationship, but my friend there who grew up in Florida complained a lot about it. She said that men are so focused on equality/respect that they never make the first move. I think it's a pretty non-FDS place to be honest (although excellent for women in tons of ways).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/20 10:44 PM
-4

I don't personally think pro-life is necessarily anti-woman, but: a) it's a very important issue and IMO one that you can't reconcile in a relationship. e.g. if you get pregnant and decide to abort, what will he do about it? Not worth the risk. And b) the language he used when speaking to you about it DOES sound quite anti-woman. If she's raped it's "not her fault"? Implying that a woman who wasn't raped is somehow to be blamed and criticised? Bye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 10:54 AM
5

I agree, pro-choice men can absolutely be like that. That being said, it's such a core issue, and I feel strongly enough about it that I don't think I could be with a pro-lifer personally (even though I respect many pro-life views). Never say never, of course.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 11:16 PM
28

Tbh I feel VERY suspicious of anyone who is pro-life except for when it's rape. Far more than the purists. People who are pro-life generally interpret abortion to be murder, right? So it stands to reason that even in horrible circumstances, they would see the foetus as an innocent in the situation and, despite the trauma to the mother, think there is no other way than for the baby to be born. (I'm pro-choice so this isn't my argument, but I can understand it.) As soon as you think abortion is ok…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 10:37 PM
490

I was thinking about this whole thing a few days ago. That small section of the book was revolutionary and revelatory! The real genius of it is that in the first half of the book you ONLY see Amy being the cool girl. I read it thinking, "I've got to learn to be more chill like Amy is, she's so cool," which meant that when she turned around and said THIS PERSONA IS A PATHETIC FANTASY it was such an awesome and thrilling shock! As literature the book is fun, but I love its feminist ramifications.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 05:48 PM
5

I'm 33 and haven't had a single relationship where a guy has complained about using condoms. I went on the pill in my early 20s and had various awful experiences (it was my introduction to how crap medical knowledge about women's issues can be), then came off and my then-boyfriend was totally supportive. Since then I've always just used condoms. Any decent man will understand. Stand your ground.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 11:34 PM
8

I subscribed to Disney Plus on a whim the other day and haven't used it at all. May have to watch Hercules first - one of the best! I did actually read an article the other day about how Sleeping Beauty is the most feminist Disney, and it made some great points (e.g. the fairies are the main characters and Prince Philip is just a pawn they use to defeat Maleficent).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:26 AM
2

I love this! Might have to make it mine too. "Foxier" is the perfect word for it too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:22 AM
9

I love this. Why isn't that how it's decided?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:21 AM
13

Give yourself a break, we're all impacted by the incessant patriarchal bullshit. It's only natural some of it seeps in! I'm sure you are your kids' number 1 on every real level. My friend was engaged to a guy who was determined she should take his name when they married even though she didn't want to. He said it would "upset his grandparents" (eye roll). I told her to stand her ground but she found the pressure hard to deal with. Thankfully they broke up instead! I got my last name from my dad, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 08:20 AM
30

I had this epiphany about a year ago after working for someone who apparently used to throw his weight around and shout at people (thankfully he turned his whole deal around before I started and weirdly became a fantastic boss!). Apparently he was at his worst during his divorce and people would listen to him screaming at people over the phone and try to work out if it was his lawyers or clients... Listening to this I had this sudden thought: wow, imagine being THAT emotional at work and it's ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/20 07:50 AM
25

Agreed. I don't know why people always say love should be unconditional. It's that kind of thinking that gets people (let's face it, women) into fucked up relationships! My love is highly conditional.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 07:52 AM
1

To be honest my experience was NOTHING compared to your friend's, with being pregnant and having medical issues. :( I'm so sorry that was her one chance to have a child - but at least the daughter is healthy now (?) and hopefully she can get away and start a new much better life. I'm sure she's very thankful to have you as a friend in her corner!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 11:25 PM
78

I actually don't love it, and seeing this makes me realise what I don't like about the whole dynamic and vocabulary we use to discuss these things. There's something about the term "emotionally unavailable" that gives men seeming control over themselves and dignity. A woman being "crazy" is degrading and humiliating, whereas "emotionally unavailable" has a connotation of rationality and power. The men she's referring to are fucked up, but we don't recognise it through the language we use. Sadly …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 10:33 PM
3

Horrendous. I hope she gets away. The stuff about the family vacation was a bit triggering as I used to go out with a guy with an awful family. He was the most HV boyfriend I've ever had, and sometimes I feel regret that I ended it (scarcity mindset I suppose), but one of the reasons was that he stood by and allowed some pretty dreadful behaviour from his mother.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 10:26 PM
2

Exactly! I read about this study that found that when you control for a) danger and b) bad sex, women are just as into it as men are. Sadly you can't control for those things in real life.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 07:44 PM
2

Plus, being thought fuckable as a woman is not a compliment. It takes a cursory glance at the dating advice subs to see many women whose partners are using their bodies with zero consideration for them as human beings, let alone any concern for their pleasure. Some of it is horrible to read. Being a sex toy for a man who would fuck anything and likely wants to use you as a hole is deeply, deeply unappealing. And the fact that I could easily go out and have horrible, unpleasurable sex with one of…
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 07:42 PM
5

I came here to say some stuff but you did it so well. Thank you for this post.
/r/ExRedPill03/06/20 07:20 PM
16

Did you though? It doesn't sound like you did anything wrong at all. The stuff about calling him every half an hour strikes me as a bit strange/controlling. I mean, you're a grown woman. Is that going to extend to every day you're apart?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 05:50 PM
2

Yeah, I assume with me it might have been getting the angle a bit wrong, combined with tension over a) unfamiliarity with having a foreign object in V and b) expectation of pain. When I tried to use tampons much later on it was suddenly easy. But I spent years catastrophising over how I'd never have sex! It might be worth going to the doc anyway if you're able. Looking back, maybe I should have done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 09:21 AM
4

Hey there! Off-topic but you're like I was so I wanted to say something. I too was terrified of PIV (for years!) and couldn't get a tampon in because it hurt so I assumed actual sex would be horrendous. I still don't know what the tampon thing was (I didn't use them until after I'd lost my virginity in my 20s) but sex itself was fine, even my first time wasn't really painful or maybe just for a brief second. Make sure it's with someone very kind and gentle that you trust and I would also suggest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 12:16 AM
8

I think I must be lucky but I've NEVER had a man ask for anal. I've even gone out with two bisexuals - one was kinda "meh" about it and the other admitted that a vagina just feels more meant for sex, like it "hugs" all the way along. Maybe it's because if you're a bisexual man, it's not taboo so you don't get the "benefit" of feeling like you're subjugating someone in the same way? I dunno. I know many women wouldn't date a bi man but I've had good experiences. (Or at least, issues I had with th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:19 PM
5

Honestly thought the title was an FDS joke. Unbelievable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/20 12:45 AM
2

It's beautiful, but I can't help being bothered that the parenting gold standard here is turning boys into men and turning daughters into being "sweet". Just an old-fashioned view I suppose, but it makes me throw up in my mouth a little.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 09:17 AM
2

Killing Eve is great!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/20 08:55 PM
7

WHAT. Just. What.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:09 PM
46

Thanks for putting this together! - do you have tips for making a profile too? I don't have much success with OLD and figure it must be something profile-related I'm doing wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:59 AM
20

Yoga is great for this, it just has such a healthy vibe to it. Very calming and makes you feel relaxed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 09:53 AM
32

I'm sure they don't realise they're doing it. My suggestion would be to say something light-hearted like, "I think we're failing the Bechdel test here guys," and then hopefully they'll laugh and agree and move on. If not then they're happy with that status quo and there's probably nothing you can do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:03 AM
1

Thank you!! I will check this all out :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:41 AM
3

What a lovely thing to read. It's like that film I Feel Pretty where you see how much her life changes PURELY because she feels differently about herself. That part of the film is a joy to behold.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:10 PM
21

I've been with two bisexual men and have similarly good experiences - not that they were perfect, but they tended to be very open-minded and empathetic about women's experiences. I think because being bi puts them in a marginalised group it means they're less entitled. They were also trustworthy. They were both also killer in the sack, but that could be coincidence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:06 PM
2

Good work 🥳 Did you have a favourite youtube video or two that you wouldn't mind sharing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/20 08:38 PM
11

I'm on CMB and I got this 67 year-old like once (I'm 33 and my upper bound is 38)! He looked ancient as well, much older than my dad who is 71. Bald head and wispy white hair at each side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 07:53 PM
152

Worst of all, the poster had to make an edit to ask people to stop DMing her rape kink subs that they were telling her to visit. Sickening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/20 12:09 AM
8

I prefer this depiction of the angler fish! HVW right here https://theoatmeal.com/comics/angler
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 11:34 PM
34

The response is just brilliant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/20 10:14 AM
6

The body will normally shed the virus over time and apparently most adults will get it at some point. (Using a condom doesn't prevent it although lessens the possibility.) Also to add, the HPV causing warts is not the same as the one(s) that cause cancer. And even if you have it you may not show the symptoms - in fact I believe most people don't. And you don't know who gave it to you because it can lie dormant for some time. This guy sounds AWFUL but just wanted to put in my two cents in case la…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 10:07 AM
1

This looks fantastic, I want whatever that cheesy thing is!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 08:21 AM
1

It sounds like it would be fairly easy to be friendly-but-not-friends, you know? So you see him around and ask how he is but don't actively spend time on him. I think it's understandable not to want to be close to someone you've dated before - I think you can be kind but firm on this which will hopefully avoid awkwardness with the sister.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 02:04 PM
36

I've been thinking the exact thing a lot recently! Just how men getting angry isn't seen as emotional for some reason even though it is. And a man being angry is usually him taking it out on someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 12:56 AM
12

In a way I find it crazy that women are meant to "make an effort" with people who are hateful about them to their face, because making misogynistic comments is so normalised. Imagine expecting an ethnic minority partner to hang out with your parent after that parent has made degrading comments about people of their race right in front of them. And imagine not attempting to put a stop to that right away or not at the very least being extremely embarrassed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/20 06:14 PM
8

I don't think women are that turned off. I've dated a few bisexual men and am still friends with them, and they do fine in dating. I actually have a liking for bisexual men as I associate the trait with open-mindedness and healthy scepticism of gender roles. Which includes not giving a damn how many sexual partners a woman has! IMO, women who say they wouldn't date a bisexual man will 99% of the time either a) worry that the man is actually gay and hiding it or b) (more likely) worry that they c…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/04/20 09:30 AM
7

The UK law against marital rape wasn't passed until the NINETIES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/04/20 10:00 PM
1

I'm with you OP, I think you can take drugs recreationally without abusing them. Same as with alcohol. Actually I think there's a lot of hypocrisy around drugs v booze. Still, if you're with someone it's best to have similar lifestyles. Good for you for realising the error of your ways. Best of luck.
/r/ExRedPill12/04/20 12:09 PM
2

I think Easton Ellis is misunderstood. American Psycho is satire AGAINST toxic masculinity. Easton Ellis himself is gay and has stated he wrote it about 1980s Manhattan where as a man he had the "privilege" of witnessing first had horrendous male behaviour, while as a homosexual he wasn't drawn into it himself. Maybe worth asking a man why he likes Easton Ellis! Also, apologies if you were talking about EE's other work. I'm not that familiar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/20 01:07 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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