~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 6 | How do I not idealize male attention at a lonely, difficult time?Yes, I am. She's really helped with validating me and is encouraging me to take the time I need to process. I'm really glad I have her, because I need to hope that there is a life after this. | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 04:05 PM |
| 7 | How do I not idealize male attention at a lonely, difficult time?I was definitely wary of the fact that he asked me to hang out, as he put it, because I talked about my depression. Also the fact that he kept saying he wanted to meet a girl. I don't know, it seemed a bit too convenient. And weird. I've never been drawn to someone because of their sadness. I'm a writer and I've been working on a novel. The tumult with my family has put me in a bit of a catatonic state, to be quite honest. I just needed to spend a week processing and zoning out before I could fe… | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 04:00 PM |
| 6 | How do I not idealize male attention at a lonely, difficult time?Yeah, I get it. I don't like oversharing with guys for the most part and would never have done so in most cases. We just happen to be in a church small group where we meet specifically to talk about our issues, so I said what was on my mind. So I was not telling him specifically, but the group as a whole. He then pretty much slid into my DMs and used it as a conversation opener. He's also new, so we barely know each other. So most of what he knows about me had to do with what I shared with the g… | /r/askFDS | 12/03/21 03:54 PM |
| 1 | How to not get taken advantage of at a lonely, difficult time?That’s what I was wondering. Any time a guy is too eager to sweep in and rescue me, I don’t take it at face value. Glad he’s also not my type physically, which makes me less susceptible to any hidden agendas! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 07:06 AM |
| 2 | How to not get taken advantage of at a lonely, difficult time?Hi, so the guy ended up to be not trying to get in my pants, but to be trying to be there for me(?). We are actually in a small group at church together, which was why he even knew I was struggling. I would never have revealed my circumstances to him otherwise. He also ended up buying dinner. Am not exactly sure what he wants, but I’m pretty relieved it wasn’t actually a date. I don’t think I’m in the state of mind to deal with anyone’s expectations right now. Thanks so much for checking back in… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/21 04:27 AM |
| 8 | This!!!I'd switch the worst and best scenarios too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/12/20 09:25 AM |
| 33 | LVM hate happy, single women.We’re an existential threat 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/11/20 10:49 AM |
| 39 | Never date the Devil’s Advocate. You may just end up in a psych ward.According to him, sHe enJoYs tHeSe cOnVos t00! 🤮 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 02:31 PM |
| 187 | Never date the Devil’s Advocate. You may just end up in a psych ward.I should add some context. In the comments, this swine admits that he “plays the Devil’s Advocate a lot” and that he and his wife discuss these hypothetical situations “for fun” all the time. So he apparently had no idea she was take it so seriously. I mean, he just wanted to win, guys!!! (Another gem from the comments) Almost as disgraceful is the fact that so many commenters are bending over backwards to try to see things from his point of view. Telling him they know he “meant well” and “truly… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/11/20 10:34 AM |
| 6 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryIf he can find someone to write the post for him, that is. 🤣 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/10/20 06:11 AM |
| 11 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryMy advice? Get angry. So one huge trigger for me as gaslighting or manipulation of any kind. The moment that starts, I literally give zero shits what a person has to say. They are out on their ass. Find your dealbreakers (they are pushy, they dump work on you, they lie) and as soon as you see them, know that they don’t give a crap about you or your comfort and give yourself the right to be angry about it. Then, you’ll have it in you to do what you need to do. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 04:45 PM |
| 6 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryYou’re spot on here! I didn’t expect him to face real consequences, but I was counting on inflicting a dent to his ego. These LVM react to exposure like vampires to sunlight, so I knew he wouldn’t be back for seconds. As long as I get to forget he exists, I’m happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 04:25 PM |
| 12 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryHey, just want to say, this is really fantastic, grounded advice. Your training as a member of senior management definitely shows. I appreciate your breakdown of what might be going through the heads of upper management, especially the head of the department. My company’s very large and bureaucratic, so we adhere to a rigid hierarchy and I interact with her largely through chain of command. So she’s a bit of an unknown for me and I only know what she’s thinking through my boss. Your assessment o… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 04:19 PM |
| 14 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryThanks so much for sharing this perspective! I do not want to be the only one who sees this guy for what he is and be labeled the "difficult one", so it's a relief to know that management does look beyond what people choose to present. My boss is definitely not inept and does see right through his little act. My concern is actually her boss, the head of our department. She's convinced he's a great person and before she heard the full context, felt my email was too direct and aggressive. I've als… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 03:31 PM |
| 14 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryOh, don't worry. I made sure to save every IM and every email he sent me. It's all waiting in my inbox, waiting for whoever wants to see. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 03:20 PM |
| 9 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryBest wall of text I've ever read!! 😍💖 Haha, I aim to please. Your comment made me smile | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 03:17 PM |
| 29 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryMen, showing once again, that if they have nothing to bring to the table, they always bring at least the audacity. I was thinking exactly this during the entire sorry interaction with him! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 03:16 PM |
| 67 | Shut down an LVM at work who tried to treat me like his personal secretaryWow, haha, to think all this felt so small, even petty, when it was happening. But thank you so much for your encouraging, life-affirming words. I hope more and more women in the workplace will also become emboldened to tell these clowns no means no. The time for taking their shit is over. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/20 03:11 PM |
| 2 | Saw this on my fb feed this morning. Had a good laugh and thought I’d share.Unlike those women who wear low-cut tops, I don’t need to drink to have fun #girlboss 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/20 02:26 AM |
| 2 | Quirks, Flaws, Traits and Red Flags - Let's discussWant to print this out and carry this around like a guidebook. Great breakdown of subtle, but crucial differences! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/20 03:38 AM |
| 39 | The Ultimate Dating Strategy is Knowing You Do Not NEED to Date Anyone, EverThis is easily my favourite thing about this subreddit. The best dating strategy is to not give a crap if you date at all. It’s the sort of simplicity that cuts through the bullshit like a knife. I am curious though, why do we call ourselves Female Dating Strategy since so little of our ethos has to do with dating? I’m sure many people, like myself, came here to find out what we were doing “wrong”. Of course, what we actually got was much better. But was that the intended effect? To lure recover… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/09/20 02:48 AM |
| 19 | LVM when they realize FDS was set to private temporarily for pre-scheduled maintenance and not because Reddit took the sub down. LOL YOU ACTUALLY THOUGHT!! 🖕🏻🖕🏻Not gonna lie, I totally freaked out too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/20 03:40 AM |
| 9 | What is your experience with “women’s intuition?”Omg, YES. These people would totally trick someone into birthing the Antichrist | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 09:06 AM |
| 17 | Age-gap dater is SelfAwarewolfAge-gap dater, that’s a great serial killer name. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 07:27 AM |
| 20 | What is your experience with “women’s intuition?”True, we are trained for emotional labour from the cradle. On the upside, I think it does give us an edge over the LVM hoard if we are willing to use it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 06:16 AM |
| 22 | What is your experience with “women’s intuition?”Hahaha, I like your analogy here. And also, he sounds extremely disingenuous. Bullet dodged. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 06:14 AM |
| 53 | What is your experience with “women’s intuition?”Can I just say I’m absolutely heartbroken and disgusted by what your ex has put you through? The idea of being gaslighted like that by your entire community sounds like the plot of a horror film. I’m so sorry that that was your reality for far too long. I hope you are healing and staying far away from him. What a pig. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 06:13 AM |
| 20 | What is your experience with “women’s intuition?”You’ve captured this so accurately that I’m kind of awed. He was great at performing feminism and empowerment, so it was never anything he said. But even though he was saying all the right things, there was always the feeling that he was reciting lines from a well-rehearsed script. Initially, I dismissed a lot of it as me being paranoid and full of myself. But after that last hangout, my instincts were screaming despite the fact that nothing untoward actually happened and I obeyed them. I felt a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/08/20 06:09 AM |
| 5 | Does anyone else go through waves of “craving” a man?Oh, so THAT’S what it was. 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 03:34 AM |
| 3 | How Do I level upValue, like beauty, is such an internal thing. Cliche, but true. The people who love you aren’t there because you’re a goddess who happens to be dating Lee Pace, but rather because you add something to their happiness by being who you are. So who are you, on the inside? A compassionate listener? A friend in need? An excellent cook whose doors are always open? Dive deep into why your friends and family stay despite your perceived flaws and there you’ll find your value. The discourse around the co… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/20 03:30 AM |
| 45 | Love this!Certainly! Plenty of room on this wall for the lot of us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 07:24 AM |
| 448 | Love this!This lady has ovaries of steel. Would have loved to have been a fly on the wall when he found out though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/08/20 02:24 AM |
| 22 | “She takes care of me and the kids and provides financially...but I like sleeping with you.” Can we take art supplies away from men?This isn’t satire??? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 04:19 PM |
| 35 | “A very effective way to control women is to convince women to control themselves.”It doesn’t just sound like control. It sounds like erasure. So insidious. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 04:18 PM |
| 3 | I feel like OLD is not for me, & I think I'm honestly okay with that.Then there’s the fact that they barely even bother with creating personalities, per se. Or at least I don’t count “Just a simple guy who likes to laugh, chillax and go with the flow” as a personality. And that’s before even touching on the smizing bathroom selfies... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 01:54 AM |
| 3 | I think my boyfriend cheated on me months ago and is still lying about itIt really doesn’t matter if he is cheating. He deflects your concerns, but continues to shamelessly rub the possibility of infidelity in your face. This “Did I? Didn’t I?” game is a favourite tactic of the LVM to keep you on your toes. And then, there’s also the fact that you don’t trust a single thing he says and it’s making you feel crazy. The moment you start feeling crazy and you can’t trust him, whether he is cheating is besides the point. You have to get tested and get out. Love should not… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/20 01:35 AM |
| 6 | How do I feel like I have lots of options?Hey, so thank you for this warm, well-considered response. And yes, I am doing much better, especially emotionally. I hope you are too. The beginning of the journey is always the most devastating part. I know all too well what it’s like to wake up and find out your body doesn’t work like it should anymore. Apart from the physical symptoms, the torture is mental too. It’s like your body, the one thing you carry from the cradle to the grave, is betraying you. If you can’t trust it not to attack yo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 04:29 PM |
| 7 | How do I feel like I have lots of options?Been there on and off over the years even before COVID and the situation has indeed degenerated. I used to actually go on dates and now? shakes head I think you’re on the money about me sounding like I want something serious. Which is something I’m ok with, because hey, that is what I’m looking for. Just didn’t want it to be because I’m just unwittingly repellent | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 04:08 PM |
| 6 | Half of All Men Have Never Had an STD TestAn ex and his pickme friend were appalled, I tell you, appalled that I suggested he get tested after his ex-FWB called to say she had herpes. They slept together without a condom during their 6-month situationship, which should have been the biggest red flag ever. He suggested that we assume he have it and that he would take the suppressants than actually get tested to know for sure. Luckily I insisted and we both ended up being clean. But to this day, I’m just amazed that he would rather delude… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:27 AM |
| 8 | How do I feel like I have lots of options?I’m beginning to see that this is the case. There is no other reason someone would like your profile, then never bother to forge a connection, or message endless variations of “Hi, how ru?”. They at least used to pretend they cared. 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/20 08:18 AM |
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