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lurker7128 Archive

View 9 posts and 460 comments by lurker7128 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Yea I think most women are generally pleasant to talk to and be around. I think the issue is that given the amount of social change, particularly around dating and gender roles, we’ve yet to find a new set of rules that actually work. I don’t blame women for wanting to do away with gender roles that harm them while keeping the ones that help them, that’s human nature. We can still talk about the inconsistency in good faith. -If women have sexual agency, why do we place the social burden to appro…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/01/23 06:50 PM
10

I think a lot of the women on this subreddit, and probably feminists in general, are more paranoid about men then women are in the wider world. Sort of like how a lot of men on this subreddit are paranoid about women.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/01/23 09:17 PM
1

I think you’re sort of right, but kind of missing the point. Modern women (including my gf) want technical financial independence, they don’t want a man to cover their entire life. However, there is a social expectation that the man runs a significant financial deficit and the woman gets a significant financial surplus even when they make comparable incomes. This includes but isn’t limited to covering dining out, recreational activities, hotels/lodging,even the disparities in the values between …
/r/PurplePillDebate26/01/23 07:00 PM
1

I get what you’re saying about not wanting the first conversation with guy about dating, it’s not natural. This is also why there’s something that I find distasteful about the idea of joining some social club as a means to get girlfriend, namely that you joined a club just to get a relationship. Unfortunately society has been set up in such a way that genuine social circles don’t really exist outside of high school. We evolved to live to villages of maybe 100 people that you get to know to at le…
/r/PurplePillDebate24/01/23 07:02 AM
13

I think this is another social development that’s not really talked about, the general social isolation that modernity has brought onto younger people. There are “pockets” of normal face to face social interaction, but by and large women our age have made it very clear that they do not want to be approached in places where people typically used to meet (ie grocery store, gym, even night clubs and bars they say they “just want to dance”). This leaves a situation where men would have to join some …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 06:03 PM
18

I think you do have a point that Red Pill men tend to blame women personally for the dysfunction in dating, and that it’s not very productive. However, the dating landscape has changed massively since the time that you were in your dating prime (about 10-20 years ago I presume?). Instead of just spouting out (albeit mostly true) statistics about how dysfunctional dating market in womens favor, we need to talk about the underlying story about what’s really going on. The reality is that the implic…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/01/23 04:48 PM
2

I’m assuming you’re a partisan progressive at this point. I’m not even opposed to the cultural changes you probably support, but to act like the cultural and linguistic landscape hasn’t changed in the last 10 years is asinine and I have to believe you’re smart enough to know that. This clearly isn’t getting anywhere, I hope you have a nice rest of your day.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 07:46 PM
2

Ok well that’s great that you’re not toxic, society isn’t getting increasingly toxic then given their popularity. Again, there is a similar category of toxicity that is growing on the womens side as well, as women are also facing problems in dating. I’m not sure why you’re trying to pathologize individuals when this is clearly a social trend . It’s almost we live in a cultural context that affects the people around Regarding the pronouns, you’re being willfully ignorant at this point then. Putti…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 06:24 PM
1

The “other dating advice” is generally not working in this age, hence the rise of the new “dating advice” if that’s even what you can call it. I think that implying that most dating content on social media being positive/healthy is fairly naive. Toxic content gets more clicks. Also lol what? You really think the whole pronoun thing was mainstream pre-2010? Were you raised on a college campus or something?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 05:31 PM
2

Well my girlfriend is 22 and she uses TikTok as her main media. I’m not sure if you’re aware of that Andrew Tate guy on the news, but he’s a guy who spread at least a decent bit through TikTok that preaches to young men that most women are effectively acting in bad faith when it comes to the dating scene (ie cheating, using men for money, etc). Women also have TikTok’s shown to them that espouse that most men are are acting in bad faith (ie cheating, using women only for sexual, etc). The entire…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 06:51 AM
3

I think while sometimes men do stare just to you know, be sexual about it, a lot of the time the guy is trying to make a decision about whether or not they should approach a girl when he’s looking at her. Am I attractive enough for her to want to go out with me?What vibe is she giving off? Is this an appropriate place to ask her out? Are you doing anything I’d be intruding on? I feel like some girls tend to take this as “creepy”, and yes, there are a decent amount of men that are just looking at…
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 05:02 AM
1

It’s understandable that you feel like that, the media seems to tell young girls that’s the way dating starts. It kind of sucks because now it’s a bit outdated because men are consistently told not to do that and be creepy. On the positive, I’m sure if you ever do go up to a man and approach him he’ll probably ecstatic to have you approach him
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:25 AM
18

I’d agree with you in theory, but TikTok is such a ubiquitous app at this point that it’s beginning to to have a real effect on the dating market. I think women understand this to a degree, which is why they (rightfully) attacked Andrew Tate. They understood that ideas like that spread into real life.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/01/23 01:07 AM
2

Maybe I’m not being clear enough, I’m not saying sex is the only part of a relationship, anyone who says that is weird and probably should remain single. Did I say anything about specific instance like menstruation or pregnancy? This really isn’t that hard, if your partner is not sexually satisfied there are going to be problems in your relationship. This goes both ways, if a man isn’t taking the women’s sexual pleasure into account that’s also going to cause problems. It seems like you’re still…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 08:20 PM
2

Well then we are talking about different things. You said yourself “non sexual physical touch”, when we’re talking about sexuality… I think I get your point, my girlfriend and I are often intimate without being sexual, but sex is clearly part of the relationship and it would suffer without it. Are you trying to said that sex isn’t important to a functional relationship then?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 07:36 PM
3

Sorry, perhaps I should have said intercourse but I’m not sure I understand your point here. What other forms of sexuality are we talking about exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 07:25 PM
11

This is a childish way of viewing sex, masqueraded as being emotionally mature. Sexuality is a core part of a romantic relationship.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/01/23 06:59 PM
1

As a guy, I can tell you that’s not really what locker room talk is like with the exception of redpill/incel types. Most locker room talk is about womens bodies, outside of redpill/incel circles men don’t really talk about specific women as a lot of women tend to think we do
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 11:42 PM
9

I think just like there’s 5-10% of chads for men, there are probably 5-10% of women that are genuinely undesirable. If you include women who “won’t settle” with a man in their league then it’s probably about as large as male incels
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 08:06 PM
1

That’s not what I said verbatim obviously. We talked about our pasts, but yea the tone definitely shifted once we got to that point. Regardless, I was more awkward at the time
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 04:40 AM
1

Nah it’s mostly women insulting men for being virgins let’s be real.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 12:36 AM
2

I told that I kissed a girl but never had sex. I asked her if she was a virgin and she said no. The next day she stopped replying
/r/PurplePillDebate17/01/23 12:23 AM
3

Calling garbage men and construction workers “bottom-tier”? Come on now. I’m an office worker making well above average for my age, but I can acknowledge that the life I live wouldn’t be possible without the benefits that these men give to society. If anything they deserve more status than we do
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 09:36 PM
6

No she asked me directly, and I told her honestly that I was a virgin at the time. I was 18 at the time, I guess that’s too old to be a virgin
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 09:11 PM
7

I’d agree, so from what you’re saying women care about mens sexual history. Do you think it’s fair for men to ask about sexual history and reject a woman on that basis the ?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 09:09 PM
8

Idk about that. I actually got ghosted from a girl who asked for my Snapchat in college when she found out I was a virgin. Talked to my mom about it later regarding my brother being a virgin and even she agreed that women generally don’t want virgins past a certain age.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/01/23 08:49 PM
2

Yes, but they’re going to very selective on other things kind of like women. A lot of women (obligatory men too) have problems with their personality that men put up with bc of their actually, I’ve noticed the less a man cares about looks the less they tolerate
/r/PurplePillDebate14/01/23 04:37 AM
1

“I don’t believe that reflects reality” Ok, so you know the whole believe woman thing? How about we extend that to men? Yes, the average guy is generally struggling to meet the expectations women are placing on them. It’s not your fault as an individual woman, it’s a result of societal shifts.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/01/23 03:57 PM
1

Ok and by that definition, a lot (or maybe even most) women are suspicious of their date with the assumption that he is going to follow the pattern of behavior that a woman might ascribe to men. Like going into the date suspicious that your date might be a serial killer or r*pist because you have read/listened to true crime podcasts. While I think some women go a little overboard with their assessments, it’s not my place to make that risk calculation for them. Similarly, it is not the womens pla…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 04:55 PM
1

I speak for myself, but I think we both know that in order to have a conversation about any social issues, generalizations about social trends are sort of necessary. I use height because that seems to be something that women seem to care about in the same way men might care about height, and since my height neither helps nor harms my prospects I think I can be somewhat unbiased about it. I’m not sure what you mean by “suspicious”, suspicious or what exactly? I’ve noticed that women are generally…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 04:20 PM
1

When did I ever say that objectifying is good on either end? I’m making an observation that I’d assume you agree with, namely that objectification was predominantly done by men to women. I’m also making the observation that I’m not sure many women want to face, namely that womens liberation has allowed women to objectify men in the same way some men used to objectify women. Men think it’s some special thing when it’s really just women acting poorly in the way men used to. The fact that you’re br…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 02:45 PM
2

Well that’s where you go wrong in my opinion. Women are pretty brutal on the internet about height, I’m sure you’ve seen memes and post with the explicit aim of emasculating short menu. This doesn’t really affect me since I’m 5’11”, but there’s still even the 6’0” meme which only 1/7 will ever reach. It’s similar to comparing womens breast size, it sounds weird saying it about men but it’s objectifying. We’re not used to the idea of frankly piggish women objectifying men, but with womens liberat…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 07:00 AM
1

I’ve actually done this before, I think most men would call a woman used up trash or whatever. It’s just that you can be a little more blunt on the internet. We’re assuming that since you’re on PPD, you’d want a blunt truth. The reality is nobody wants to be referred to like that. Men don’t like being called “shrimp dick” even if they want the truth about how important that might be. I’m probably leaning a bit more sympathetic to guys, given I am one, but I definitely think their wording can mak…
/r/PurplePillDebate10/01/23 05:31 AM
5

I think in theory, yes you’re correct they are two sides of the same coin and neither should be seen as ideal. I think the problem with this line of argument comes from the fact that incels are generally suppressed from mainstream discourse whereas feminists are actively supported by corporations and institutions. It’s like saying there are Muslim extremists in an christian theocracy or there are communist radicals in fascist Germany. These are obviously extreme examples, but the regime we live …
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 10:27 PM
1

Idk if it’s that men get “better” with age, we’re just generally not as affected as women are. We get better relative to women, who in their late teens/early 20s are way better off than their male counterparts in terms of options
/r/PurplePillDebate09/01/23 09:59 PM
1

You do bring up a good point, that element of control is something women generally like to think of as “autonomy” or “freedom”, but in really the context of the chase makes it a power dynamic
/r/PurplePillDebate06/01/23 07:49 AM
1

Oh so are you saying chads promiscuity screws over Joe Schmoe by inflating the woman’s ego?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/01/23 08:23 PM
5

Most men are incapable of being promiscuous. If you’re referring to the men who can be promiscuous, yes it’s probably bad on them in the long term, but your typical man isn’t effected by body count in the same way a typical woman might (not guaranteed)
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/23 07:35 AM
2

Ok, but wouldn’t it be better to have their “revenge fantasy” be happy with a bot than take it out on women? Aren’t they gonna be by themselves? I guess I care more about the impact than intent
/r/PurplePillDebate02/01/23 12:47 AM
101

Still don’t understand the problem here. If these men are undesirable, what’s the issue with them having robots exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/01/23 05:12 PM
3

Can I ask if you’ve been approached by WM?
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 05:23 PM
6

Oh absolutely there are white men who act toxic or overly machismo. I’m just observing that black culture tends to try to emasculate WM, just look at the term “white boy”. The reason a non-black person can’t call a BM “boy” comes back to slavery and power dynamics, but at the end of the day you’re effectively referring to the man as a child which is in inherently not masculine. Again I’m white so I’m merely observing this, but I think it’s a little disingenuous to this is a mutual dynamic
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 05:22 PM
7

Well, a BW already commented to my comment basically saying she sees WM as effeminate, and as a WM I’ll say that seems to be a view that is specifically in black culture if I’m being perfectly frank. It might have something to do with BM being hypermasculinized/fetishized themselves, but I’m not black so I’m not going to pretend to understand it. Point is, as a WM, I’m not getting caught up in that whole masculinity contest when I can go to any other group of women won’t make it weird like that,…
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 07:14 AM
5

Ngl never heard the ham comment before😂 But yes, I think you’ve proven my point. Every other group of women seem either preferring or open to dating WM, just seems to make sense to go where you’re wanted
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 07:01 AM
18

Not trying to be like that, but doesn’t it also show BW don’t like WM? Very rarely see BW into WM in my personal experiences, not sure why we should go to the one group who wants us the least (unless you’re specifically into BW)? Edit: just so I’m perfectly clear, I’m not saying anyone should exclude anyone from their dating pool. It just sounds like you’re saying WM should go out their way to pursue BW or something when BW themselves don’t seem particularly interested
/r/PurplePillDebate31/12/22 01:39 AM
1

Wait so ugly women are paying male sex workers for sex? This is a first time of me hearing about this, how common is it?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/11/22 10:25 PM
1

Emphasis on “no longer”. So that means she had sex outside of committed relationship. It shows what your relationship with sex is. This is why I why I think age also plays a role here. For example, my gf was 21 when we met (now 22). She had one situation where that happened and she learned her lesson, value yourself enough to not let men hit unless they actually commit. I think men definitely should be forgiving to women that have had this happen because that’s just a lesson you have to learn in…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 05:02 PM
1

I’d say the main goal should be to make the quality of life (ie financial situation, work life balance, etc) drop as little as possible for parents or aspiring parents. This could come in the form of generally raising taxes substantially, with offsetting those taxes with deductions for families. Also potential giving favorable tax incentives for companies to implement pro-natal policies. All of these policies would come at the expense of those that don’t have/adopt children (I’d say adoptees sho…
/r/PurplePillDebate25/11/22 08:37 AM
1

The reason that a man would court a woman is generally because a woman had no means of providing for herself, no? If a man isn’t willing to put upfront commitment into a woman and/or defend her honor etc (again, different times), there was a serious risk to the woman’s well being. Given that these are no longer restraints on women, the custom that men are the de facto the ones that are expected to initiate contact seems a little antiquated to me. Additionally, I hear all of the time how women ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 10:36 PM
1

Yeah I know. That’s the whole point of this post, why do women get the benefit sitting back and not taking any of the risks when they have all of the benefits that were traditionally associated with being a man (ie being more educated now, sexual liberation, etc). I understand that is the way the world works currently, I’m trying to examine whether that’s still necessary as the previous reasons for women being passive/recipients of courtship fade into history. Women are not dependent on men, so …
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 05:20 PM
2

Yes I think in countries where traditional gender roles are more in place it’s completely understandable that women would not want to responsible for initiating courtship and anyone who says otherwise is misunderstanding the nature of this post. Specifically in the west, women now are more educated than men and in the top metro areas women under 30 are now out-earning men. This along with sexual liberalization of women in the west (I’d presume this is not prevalent in your part of the world) has…
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 03:49 PM
1

The pregnancy argument I think is a valid one given the overturning of Roe v Wade specifically in the United States, but this custom has been maintained for the roughly 50 year period under Roe. Can I ask what country you live in?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 03:31 PM
3

Well I guess it could be to set standards on courtship/ ensure paternal certainty to ensure the loyalty of men to society. I don’t think that’s the same as revenge though
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:58 AM
1

I mean we don’t get stoned but I see your point. That doesn’t mean they’re necessarily wrong though. Now that labor is mental and not physical, maybe feminism is actually the next leap forward
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:55 AM
1

If she’s a 9/10, she probably should go for a 9/10 guy whatever that means. My honest take is that most women that think they are 9s or 10s have had their ego boosted by OLD or social media. You’d be surprised how many women will put in their bio that they aren’t serious and just want attention/validation
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:53 AM
1

Well I think that’s the female equivalent of emasculation. Is there a word for that?
/r/PurplePillDebate23/11/22 06:52 AM
1

And most women in the 1800s didn’t want the vote or work. People often confuse tradition with common sense
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 11:04 PM
1

Well if it’s trash, why not call them out on it? It could be trash, but maybe it’s not. If it’s not, then we should bring more equality to dating
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 11:02 PM
1

Well then there’s no issue with women shooting their shot
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 11:01 PM
0

Well, most of them said no they don’t. I’m trying to question that
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 11:00 PM
1

I’ll say it once again, you have the right to shoot out of your league. You don’t have the right to a happy ending.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:53 PM
1

I think you’re under the impression that I’m changing my position or contradicting, but I’m really not. Some women will shoot out of their league, and they’ll likely be rejected or used. It’s their choice to make, not mine. Others will shoot in their league, and I think they’ll have a much better go of it. There are no contradictions here. Top tier people should date top tier, average should date average, it’s not that hard. You have every right to make what I believe is a bad decision, men do i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:37 PM
0

So why did you initially talk about how only men at the top get approached? Do you think that should begin to change as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:13 PM
1

Ok then let’s leave the ugly guy thing behind👍 I see no reason why a woman can’t want a guy that’s in her league. That’s exactly what I meant, I think you’re assuming I’m implying that all woman want to 6’4” millionaire or something. I never said that. There will inevitably be some average women that do want those top 10% men, that aren’t worth that guys time. They are free to fail and choose to better themselves or get more realistic… or live alone for their lives, that’s also fine This whole c…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 10:06 PM
1

So from what I’m getting from this is that you believe that women pursue men at the same rate, and/or women that aren’t confident enough to go after what they want are unattractive?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:56 PM
1

So you think most women have given up on relationships? Because from what I’m seeing about hookup culture, half of the time the sex isn’t even that good for the woman.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:52 PM
1

Ok for the umpteenth time, we get it you’re not attracted to ugly men. How many times to we need to go over this? That’s why I’m suspecting you’ve been hurt in the past or you have some sort of baggage. also never said they need to shoot out of their league, but inevitably some of them will. A lot of the men that women are attracted to are not willing to commit to them. Same is true for men. Nothing wrong with dating in your league, I personally believe you’ll be happier if you do but a lot of w…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:48 PM
1

I guess that’s my question. Why does she have to wait? Wouldn’t it save time if she just went up to average guy? The woman gets into a relationship and men across the gamut get into relationships so not as many men are wasting their time asking out women. How does that not save time
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:39 PM
1

If you’re actually a top 10% girl, you can probably bag a top 10% without being used like that. Most girls believe they are top 10%, so let them have a reality check. Men tend to use women that they know are less attractive than they are. Yeah it’s shitty, just like how that girl with the phone number probably used her “boyfriend” for free money/validation Regarding your comment about not caring about whether disgusting men find you disgusting, it’s not about what they think. The men that you ar…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:24 PM
1

Still not getting it, smh. You can go after what you want, you just probably won’t get it if you don’t bring equal value to the table. Has it ever occurred to you that you might be as “disgusting” as the men you’re complaining about? Maybe you’re not, I don’t know you. But you have the right to pursue what you want, just don’t get mad when it doesn’t go your way. You don’t really think an average girl deserve a top 10% guy who is also head over heels for her, right? I hope you’re not that naïve …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:15 PM
1

I’ll make it simple then. If women want to shoot their shot out of their league, like the girl you said who gave her number, she will likely be used. They have every right to be used.If you want commitment from a guy, you need to be an adult and bat in your league. If you want a guy to be head over heels for you, you’ll probably need to settle.Either way, approaching the guy will expedite the process. I think you’re confusing what I think they should do by their own logic and what I would do if …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 09:06 PM
1

Actually, you’re right. Women don’t need to pick up the slack, they don’t need to do anything. I’m just saying if women have autonomy and agency, and they only want a certain type of man, it’s probably for the best that they go straight for what they want instead of clinging to old customs. This really isn’t about “fairness” at all. A lot (if not most) men will be negatively effected by this given that women aren’t attracted to most men. This is about saving everyone’s time. If you think you can…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 08:56 PM
1

Right, because those men are “above” them, and they know that. So what does that say about how they view the men that they expect to approach them?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 08:49 PM
1

You seem to have some real problems with 90% of men based on your language here. We get it, you find most men disgusting. Can I ask whether you’re in a relationship or not? The reason I said average women can try to get a top 10% guy is because I personally see them as delusional, but they are entitled to try and win these elite men over. Most are probably going to fail if they want a relationship, but if they want to have casual sex they can go right ahead. They should just be aware that they’r…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 08:45 PM
1

If you get rejected, it’s not a personal You can always ask for more dates if you don’t get a text back? Isn’t that what we tell men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:54 PM
1

That’s not what you said, but it the endpoint of what you said. If women only pursue the top men, doesn’t that mean they aren’t really attracted to most men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:51 PM
1

Yeah, we get it, average men are not not top tier men. Can we move past that please? I’m saying that the average woman then has Essentially three options. Pursue a “top tier” man, who is more valuable than you, in which case he will probably not value you as much but the sex/ material conditions will be better. Date a man who is on (actually) on your level, where most healthy relationships actually lie. Settle for a man beneath you (Ugcels, I guess? Never heard that before, I’ll probably use it …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:48 PM
1

Ok then the incels and MGTOW types are correct then. Hypergamy is real then
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:22 PM
1

That’s precisely what I’m calling into question. Why are we taking on the burden of initiation if a large amount of men aren’t even getting what they want from what it seems?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:20 PM
1

So if you can get rejected professionally, why can’t you get rejected personally?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:19 PM
1

Let’s forget the average guy entirely since you seem pretty eager to do so. So if it’s less than 20% of men that are desirable, then women are a dime a dozen to these guys. I never said normal guys don’t want to use women, it just doesn’t happen generally because women don’t let them do that, as they should. These top 5-10% are actually the ones who have the power then, if you don’t simp for him you’re just as disposable as the next woman. If this is the arrangement that woman go for, and it see…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 07:14 PM
1

I agree it’s not ideal for anyone, but this is largely the world that feminists have asked for. I’ve realized that we’re probably never going back given this is what women signed up for. Without the implicit agreement that the woman needs to get with a man for security etc, there’s no incentive for a woman to date the average Joe. If women want the same role/status as men I think we’re going to need women to pick up some of the slack when it comes to courtship too. I don’t know if it’s ideal, it…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:46 PM
1

So test only matters when there’s a physical element? If a woman can argue in court or sell a product, I think she can approach a guy
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:41 PM
1

What? I’m confused, what does mark zuckerberg have to do with this conversation? Are you talking about ARAMCO?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:38 PM
0

“Giving her phone number to him in front of her boyfriend” Seems to me like she needs to grow some ovaries and leave this guy instead of staying with someone she doesn’t respect. But this brings up the question, why wasn’t she with a guy “on her level” to begin with? Sounds to me like she , and most of these women, are not good enough to get these men. You’ve actually proven the manosphere/ redpill types correct in your response here, about the 80/20 rule (80% of women want only 20% of men). Con…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:36 PM
1

Well if we’re going the testosterone/hormonal route, should that mean that women should be submissive and not pursue high power careers? Hell even ARAMCO, the Saudi national oil conglomerate has ads telling women to be empowered. With great empowerment comes great responsibility https://www.aramco.com/en/sustainability/responsible-business/workforce-empowerment/women-in-business
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:27 PM
2

Ok so if you don’t approach men because they’re not interested but just flattered, why should we as a society put that onus on men? I’d say that approaching women nowadays has become such a numbers game because women largely reject the vast majority of men because they don’t need a man like they used to. I don’t think it’s realistic to expect men to court women like some Victorian gentleman when that’s not the way the world works anymore.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:25 PM
0

I never said women should approach men that they aren’t attracted to? But if we’re both being honest, women approaching men is very rare. Even when that girl did the promposal to me, it was in a very progressive social circle and even then there was talk about how that was not normal. If the average woman truly believes that she “deserves” a top tier man, what’s the harm in explicitly approaching that guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:21 PM
1

Well then maybe we should challenge their traditional views of how the genders should work. They’ve been beating men over the head about it for 50+ years at this point
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:16 PM
1

Given you’re 5 years from geriatric pregnancy, I wouldn’t say you’re exactly “young” anymore. https://www.webmd.com/guide/pregnancy-after-35
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:13 PM
1

I personally don’t think women should be pressured to be the same as men either. However, we have to acknowledge that there is a concerted effort by media and other powerful institutions for women to take on these “high testosterone” career paths. I’d imagine in a world without any stigmas, feminist or traditionalist, about 80% (ballpark, don’t quote me) women and men would generally fit into their gendered roles with the other 20% filling the other role. I think the problem we’re seeing is that…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:10 PM
0

I’m already in a relationship so I don’t really have an incentive to pursue women at the moment regardless. And I was asked to prom back in high school so I know that women do ask out men. But I find this hyper individualistic argument of “you do you” a little strange. Could we not have said the same to women in the 70s that wanted to pursue a career or be sexually promiscuous? Nobody was stopping them from doing what they wanted. Of course, this is ridiculous because there is a social context i…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:04 PM
1

The dominant strategy of early man was that the males would go out and bring home the food/resources, we’ve clearly rejected that. Evolutionary biology would also imply males don’t want promiscuous females due to paternal uncertainty. We’ve happily done away with those arguments as outdated social constructs, what’s stopping us from doing away with this one?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 06:00 PM
1

If you don’t want to be the aggressor don’t expect women to be submissive… Right, women are no longer submissive nowadays. The very word “submissive” makes most women cringe nowadays, so why are men still holding up their end of this antiquated bargain? Aggressive women are educated and independent. I’d agree modern women are educated and independent, good on them. I think the issue is that they are not aggressive romantically. They want the benefit of traditional femininity (ie being courted, h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:56 PM
1

Yeah, encourage them to try and get a serious relationship from Chad. See how it works, and plain Jane can see that she’s not the 10/10 queen she thinks she is
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:08 PM
0

Do you think there is currently a stigma/taboo on women doing this?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:06 PM
1

Well they seem to have the testosterone to be lawyers, salespeople, politicians etc. I’m tired of hearing that they are these meek passive creatures. Do you not see how much we’re bombarded with messages from the media that they are just as strong and brave as men? Let them be like us, grow some eggs and go after the men they want actively. Let them either fight over the top men or learn the hard way where they really land on the pecking order
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:04 PM
1

Okay, then don’t give them that validation unless it’s a romantic/sexual relationship. A man is not entitled to a woman’s body, and a woman is not entitled to a man’s attention
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 05:00 PM
1

Okay, and why can’t we change that? We literally took women from being housewives to office workers, why can’t we change their view on dating?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 04:59 PM
1

-If women constantly chose the best then half of us uglies wouldn’t exist. Yeah, because our mothers and grandmothers didn’t have the same choices that women today have from economic empowerment. Why do you think incels are on the rise, fertility rates drop etc? I’ve heard often that guys who pursued just and go along with it even if they don’t even like the woman I think that’s often due to the fact that in order for a woman to approach a guy, the guy generally is out of her league because it h…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 04:51 PM
1

Well it’s interesting you bring up the “n count” issue. I think a reason women are not praised for having a high count is at least in part due to how the opportunities fall in the woman’s lap. If the woman is just taking a lot of different guys in, she hasn’t put in any real leg work to get the ball rolling. You hear this from guys a lot, that we have to put in all of the work which justifies the double standard regarding social acceptance of promiscuity. Personally, I think I’d be more open to …
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 04:41 PM
3

Yes, the shorter the better. The longer it goes implies there was a chance or you have reservations about it being a no. I think this is why sometimes men have a hard time telling whether it was a real no or not
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:18 AM
3

That doesn’t seem very tradcath of you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:16 AM
3

So you believe this is a socialized behavior among men, but we shouldn’t do anything to get rid of this imposed gender role?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:15 AM
1

It’s called a rhetorical question but I guess that works haha
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:14 AM
1

So then you think a return to traditional gender roles is inevitable?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:13 AM
1

Well, eventually they’ll learn. But instead of waiting for some simp when you’re 30, learn that you could actually get a sort of hot/cute guy at 24-25. I think promiscuity might also be a bit less taboo if women were the ones trying to get men at least some of the time
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:12 AM
1

Good on you! I got asked out by my prom date, but it was an extremely progressive social circle so I don’t think it was as taboo. I just think this might one of things that people just kind of take for granted. I guess the thing is seeing the rise of incels/ manosphere stuff about having to be a gigachad to get any good women just struck me odd. I think back to when I was asked out, and why that’s such a rare thing in society given how much we’ve changed gender roles. You know what I mean?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:10 AM
1

Are you saying women aren’t allowed to ask out men, or that it’s socially taboo?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:02 AM
1

Yes, and they can do that. So instead of waiting for the guy that they wait to come to them, why shouldn’t they go to the guy that they want?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:02 AM
3

Well maybe they should lower their gaze, like every man is told to do if they aren’t good enough for those guys
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 03:00 AM
4

Yes, I agree with your assessment of the situation at large, I think a lot of people here are seeming to mistake me as someone who isn’t aware of this. The question then becomes why do women still feel entitled to the ones to be courted rather than the courtee herself. Men have stated repeatedly to women that they want a man who is submissive/cooperative. This desire has been roundly condemned by women as a toxic social norm that’s a leftover relic of the patriarchy. If the constructivist worldv…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:58 AM
1

Well I suppose that’s MGTOW, but I don’t think men and women should stop dating I just think the dating market is dysfunctional because traditional courtship doesn’t really work when women are financially independent. But as a woman (presumably), what would you think of the idea of encouraging women to proactively choose who they’re actually interested in?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:45 AM
4

Ok so go straight for the cream of the crop instead of having to decode his dance?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:44 AM
1

Elaborate, do you think women like being strung along in situationships in hopes that it’ll work out?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:28 AM
5

Yea I’ve had women do this before, but I’m saying that’s still a passive mindset. That’s not really “putting yourself out there”, asking the guy explicitly is putting yourself out there because it gives a possibility of rejection
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:26 AM
2

Bingo! Why don’t we see this being promoted more in media/ social expectations is what I’m saying. Women aren’t children, they have their own agency just as much as men do
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:23 AM
9

I think you’re being pretty disingenuous if you’re gonna say men aren’t expected to be the ones to approach
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:22 AM
3

Idk I had my prom date ask me out. It’s not like women never are attracted to men by their own volition. But let’s go with that. Let’s assume women aren’t attracted to men physically at all. Shouldn’t that mean the nice guy/ simp gets the girl and not the attractive guy?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 02:20 AM
4

Yeah, that’s what I’m saying. I’m trying to critically examine why that is. Back in the 50s, there were a whole host of expectations placed upon women if they wanted a man to approach them. You could say the same thing “if you don’t want a partner you don’t ah e to abide by our current societies rules”. Obviously there’s a limit to what I’m saying, if you are slovenly and unpleasant to be around nobody will date you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:57 AM
3

Well that’s actually kind of the core of the question. Is that passivity that women see as empowering actually further exaggerating that Andrew Tate style hyper masculinity in men?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:55 AM
2

Yes, I think in general both sides should put more effort into how they court the other. I do notice when women approach it generally is “higher quality”, but the rejection rates men get I just don’t know if it’s feasible to put that much time in something that likely to fail
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:52 AM
1

Ok boomer?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:50 AM
2

Dude, I already have a gf. I already did what you’re talking about. You can acknowledge a problem without being directly affected by it
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:43 AM
3

So maybe don’t have the desperate/horny men approach you… maybe approach the guy that’s attractive to you and/or is not a creep?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:40 AM
3

I already have a gf, I’m saying this given women seem to go on dates with guys they’re generally not interested in or have a bunch of guys come up to them And yes, I approached her
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:39 AM
1

“That’s the way it’s always been, so that’s the best way” Vast majority of men and women were good with traditional gender roles in the past as well, but do we still abide by them?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:37 AM
-1

If they’re irrational, why does society give them the vote and allow them to hold high stakes jobs? I think they are very rational, so rational that’s why they want to hold all of the cards
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:34 AM
4

Yeah, that’s precisely what I’m questioning. Why is society still set up like that when have economic parity with us? No shit if you try that you’ll fail
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:33 AM
4

I have friends across states, races, socio-economic positions, and even political affiliations. Trust me, the world is not NYC
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:30 AM
2

Yes, but why can’t women approach men they’re sexually attracted to then? It does happen, so it’s not like it’s against their nature. Seems like an outdated social normo
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:27 AM
7

Ok so shouldn’t we tell men it’s okay not to tie their worth to get women, and tell women it’s okay to pursue men? Are you in favor of getting rid of these gender roles or not?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:26 AM
5

What’s off?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:24 AM
8

The fact that you’re using the Clinton’s as an example shows how unappealing this idea really is😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:24 AM
6

If it’s higher risk why not employ the mens strategy? Seems like you just like holding the power/ don’t want to be rejected
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:22 AM
-1

The point of the post flew right over your head didn’t it? That’s precisely what I’m critiquing. Why don’t we just cut through the BS and have the women go straight to the guy they actually want to go home with, given we’re no longer cool with the patriarchy. Of course if you sit at a bar today waiting no girl is going to approach you
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:20 AM
7

I’ve literally never tried casual sex, every sexual encounter has been in a committed relationship. We’re not all f**kboys
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:17 AM
0

Yes, in nature as a whole males of the species will violate females and… take care of the other offspring. We’re just competitive animals right?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:16 AM
3

First of all,honey?🤨 Secondly, I’m saying it’s odd that women are holding on to this antiquated way of engaging in dating when they seem to want to masculine about everything else. Do you believe that women should be traditionally feminine in other aspects?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:13 AM
8

It’s not about what I as an individual do, we’re talking about social norms. I thought a “commie” like yourself would know about social constructs?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:10 AM
3

And men are aroused by women that are submissive. Women don’t seem to put up with that arbitrary gender role, why should we put up with theirs?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 01:08 AM
7

But most of them aren’t getting it anyways, why should they keeping running a fruitless rat race?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:52 AM
1

So you’re relying on mens desperation? Let me guess, you also hate incels?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:50 AM
1

Nature also has r* and m**r as “human nature” if we want to go down that road…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:43 AM
4

“Now accepting simp applications” Seems to be like it’s more for your ego rather than what would work for people, but what do I know 🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:41 AM
0

Nature also wants us to have our women barefoot and pregnant in the home, but we don’t seem to abide by natures rules anymore do we?
/r/PurplePillDebate22/11/22 12:40 AM
7

Sorry to be the one to say it, your father sounds like an emasculated doormat.
/r/PurplePillDebate20/11/22 06:08 PM
2

I mean, if you’re hungry but the food is shit would you go back to the same restaurant anyways?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 05:50 PM
1

Wait wait wait. What you’re telling me what you took from the Red Pill side is that men want women to be emotionally tethered to a player rather than a committed relationship? Is that what you think men want from women?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/11/22 08:33 AM
1

This documentary is fascinating even outside purplepilldebate. Just watch this regardless of what side you’re on
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 06:52 AM
1

Wait, wouldn’t that mean that unattractive and short men would need to have more emotional intelligence to compensate?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 06:32 AM
1

Let me guess, it’s on the individual guy to get therapy? There or social expectations placed upon men that contribute to this underdevelopment?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 06:11 AM
2

Ok but that’s the thing, if women are saying “we don’t want to have to deal with these men”, how are they going to figure that out? And no, they shouldn’t have to deal with that but the men have to develop emotionally somehow
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:49 AM
1

This is how the progression of human civilization started
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:46 AM
0

Funnily enough my brothers a 6’2” med student and still struggles, so there’s a limit on height carrying you I guess
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:45 AM
1

Yeah sorry, this isn’t really debatable. It’s effectively Amazon for women (take your pick of what you want), and indeed for men (apply and get rejected over and over)
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:43 AM
2

Wait, rating 1-10 is creepy now? I know women don’t like be ranked against each other, but men just kind of do that naturally sorry. It’s not like a you have a set number for every girl you see on the street, it’s just that we’re more visual so it’s easier for us to use a 1-10 when talking about it (especially with other guys). I actually made a post a while back, something like “what value does a man bring to a relationship”, I was surprised how nebulous a lot of the metrics women used were but…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 04:42 AM
3

I know that’s not what you think it’s conveying, shaming men for not being able to get women, but that’s the end result. Intent ≠ impact I don’t think wanting a romantic connection is masculinity/ego thing. I’d imagine if women had this problem they’d also be angry/bitter, but that doesn’t really happen on any wide scale
/r/PurplePillDebate18/11/22 12:08 AM
2

Who’s Adam and Kevin?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:42 PM
1

I mean yeah I guess? But on the other hand, if there’s a basic human need for affection and you genuinely believe it’s due to systemic factors, I’d say it would make sense they feel that way. I’m not saying I agree with them, but saying “stop playing victim” has been tried and it’s failed. We obviously need to change our stance toward the issue
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:42 PM
3

Ok well then yes we are using different definitions. I can tell you as a guy, there are guys who get a lot of action that are what you’d probably call “male supremacist” and there are guys that are involuntarily celibate who don’t hold those beliefs. The reason I think conflating the two is bad is because you’re effectively telling men that if you can’t get pussy you’re a PoS. You might not agree with this, but I’ve seen men turned on this kind of content because they struggle with women and tha…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:39 PM
3

Ok, let me just clarify. When you say “incel” are you using it as a descriptor for guys that can’t get laid, or guys that have a certain ideology around the dating market?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:20 PM
3

Well given that corporations seem to have millions upon millions of dollars encouraging mainstream girl boss feminism, mainstream media tropes, scholarships, (not even necessarily against these things)I think we can do a little more than individual people talking about it. I’m not even that red pilled but at some point you have to do more than just saying “ stop being mad bro”, it’s obviously not working. I agree the red pill isn’t equipped to deal with these external issues, that’s why I’m aski…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:18 PM
3

Oh alright so if I understand correctly: women are more skilled in social maneuvering and reputation sabotage. Women should be discouraged from using these social strengths against women in the same way we discourage men from using physical coercion. Is that what you’re saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 10:12 PM
1

See that might be where we’re not on the same page. The younger generation is becoming increasingly “terminally online”, whether you like it or not. We’re heading in that direction
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:58 PM
2

Wait, you think we should dumb down women emotionally?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:50 PM
1

I thought that was a given, I don’t think gigachad / beta male dichotomy happens in a cohesive community. What’s your point here?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:50 PM
2

So if everything is already in place, why does it work for girls but not boys? I’d argue society gives something to girls that they are not giving to boys. Either that or you believe women have better neurochemistry or something
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:48 PM
1

You’re calling Australia a socialist country? I mean I guess compared to America anyone is socialist. But yeah tbh it seems like this subreddit is pretty useless. You can see in these comments it’s just “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” or “it’s not worth trying”. I think we just have a society here we’re everyone is fending for themselves so everybody is jaded. Glad to hear that’s not the whole world
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:47 PM
1

Yes I agree with you, it’d be slapped down as socialist. On top of that, we don’t even really have coverage for physical problems so I don’t think it’d be heavily prioritized like it should be. So let me ask you, does your country have incel/dating market problems? I have a hunch it’s particularly bad in America, but you’re here too so I’m guessing there’s some dysfunction where you are as well
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:34 PM
1

Yeah, I think that would be a good idea. So would you think a sort of affirmative action for men in education then, kind of like women in STEM initiatives?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:24 PM
3

I’d say yes, widespread therapy would probably help. That being said it’s often prohibitively expensive for most younger people. Would you support more public spending on mental health resources then? I’d think it’d probably make sense to have specialists for this problem in particular, but idk how you’d do that
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:23 PM
2

Well it’s true on dating apps, which is a large part of modern dating. People who meet through church / friends of friends don’t really work like that, but that’s not really what we’re talking about are we?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:20 PM
3

If you’ve been down that rabbit hole, wouldn’t you want to stop men that were like you from making the same mistakes? Or are we just going to expect young men to have an incel phase until they’re like 25?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:07 PM
1

Maybe that worked back in your day, but if you get into a physical fight and someone records on their phone nowadays you can lose your job. I have a fairly cushy corporate job for my age and I’m not giving that up on the off chance that I might get some girls panties wet. Regardless, I got a gf now but I can’t give that advice to other guys my age in good faith Edit: I should’ve asked for clarification, did you mean physically or emotionally via rejection by girls?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:03 PM
3

You said it will be taken over by incels, you didnt say incel ideology. Tbh i don’t think referring to any guy who opposes feminism as an incel is constructive. I know guys who get a lot of girls that are toxic/misogynists as hell, and I know guys who are genuine feminists who are also involuntarily celibate (ie “incel”)
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 09:01 PM
2

That explains it, you seem to have a somewhat Gen X/Boomer mindset. I’m 23, dating apps are now a bigger way to meet than clubs with the youngsters now. Also I’d say social media (particularly TikTok) has exposed men to the ways that men are used for free drinks at bars. Hell, I’ve even had a girl admit that to me at a bar when she was drunk (luckily before I bought her the drink). Point is, a lots changed in last 16 years
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:56 PM
2

Well, I don’t know if it necessarily has to be a formal “institution” per say. I could see maybe some sort of research seeing if there are any early life habits (maybe video games? Think you might be blowing it out of the water but I could be wrong) that lead to negative or positive habits
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:48 PM
1

So you admit these men are disconnected and dysfunctional… so it’s not working. So shouldn’t there be some sort of resource to either prevent that from happening or get them back on track in a healthy manner?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:42 PM
2

If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:39 PM
2

Who are the professionals?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:38 PM
2

I don’t really believe it’s 80%, I’m referencing the whole 80/20 rule. Those that are in relationships are probably happier, but I think we can both acknowledge that the dating market is particularly unequal among men nowadays
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:36 PM
2

Well it didn’t work obviously, so what now?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:33 PM
2

So these men are justified in being resentful to society then. Have fun seeing Andrew Tate getting even more popular I guess?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:32 PM
2

Cmon man, incels are also going through “the institution of life” and it’s not working for them. It just seems like the same suggestion a capitalist would give to someone who can’t find decent work. “Yeah you might not be able to get a real job and don’t know how to become qualified, but that socialism stuff is just kind of toxic man.”
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:31 PM
3

Actually, yeah it would be made up of incels initially. It should be, incels are “involuntarily celibate”, by definition you don’t decide to become and incel. The whole point would be helping incels no longer be incels?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:24 PM
3

I’d agree with you, but we also need to acknowledge that 50% (probably more going forward) will grow up without a father. What do you do with the kids like you?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:21 PM
2

So if you have emotionally absent parents, you’re just shit out of luck? That’s what you’re saying?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:15 PM
1

I mean, I think you have some points in here. I get what you’re saying when you say that there are rabbit holes that men go down, but I’d argue that’s the only existing “social infrastructure” for men to navigate this brave new world. You can’t really get mad at young men taking the rep pill when society hasn’t provided any alternative. When you have statements like “all men are trash” is socially acceptable (I don’t really care what the justification is), you are going to radicalize men if you …
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:14 PM
1

What do you mean? Is it not worth helping men have a place? Unless you’re off the grid you’ll live with society in one way or another
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:05 PM
1

We have this at my work, and it pretty much teaches you to convey business information to multiple coworkers. Not exactly the way to get your foot in the door with a girl
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:03 PM
2

There should be one what? Partner? Not sure I’m following
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:02 PM
1

I think those can be good options, given you’re at university which men are increasingly opting out of. I think maybe things like book clubs/ team sports could work, but then the question would be whether men and women are drawn to the same books/sports. Maybe men should learn to pick up womens interests to some degree then?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 08:00 PM
4

You’d agree the problem is getting worse in recent years though, right?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 07:56 PM
6

And how has that been working so far?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 07:54 PM
1

I’m sure this is the mindset wealthy people have
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 07:34 PM
1

As a middle of the road guy (23 M, 5’11”, $65k) , I’d say I envy them in the way I envy the extremely wealthy. I dont hold it against the individual HVM, in the same way I don’t hold it against individual rich people. It’s more a general discontent on how steep the inequality has become over the years. There’s no point in advocating equality here in the same way trying to tax the rich or whatever doesn’t work either. You know the rat race is probably futile, but you’re going to run it anyways be…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 07:25 PM
3

I don’t think women should be pressured into dating Adam, but they should understand that most of them will get Adam at best statistically. Holding out for the 6’3” corporate lawyer or neurosurgeon isn’t a viable strategy for a long term relationship unless the woman is exceptionally attractive in some way. By definition, most women are also mediocre
/r/PurplePillDebate17/11/22 07:09 PM
1

Under neoliberalism, sure. I find it hard to buy that the average American needs to double labor hours when productivity has doubled since that fluke.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:07 PM
0

Because I would to not work if that was a viable option. Most jobs that give a real income generally suck, that’s why they give a real income
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:05 PM
1

Oh I’m sorry, you’re encouraging other women to lie. Does that make you any less immoral? If a person (man or woman) is not comfortable having a partner with whatever sexual history, you are violating their boundaries when you lie about it. Why can’t you just find a guy that’s okay with your sexual history? You can’t hookup with a player?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 04:26 PM
0

No it is not a reach. You are a liar and most people (let alone men) would not want to sleep with someone who lies because they can’t get a partner honestly. If it didn’t change you, be forthright about it. If you want to be quiet about your body count, that’s your choice. But if somebody asks you a question and you lie, you are a liar and not a trustworthy person.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 04:15 PM
1

I’m suggesting that men and women are actually pretty similar, in that most of us don’t like our jobs. Some people, men and women, have careers they love and that’s great. However, most people hate their jobs and even “quiet quitting” (ie doing only what their job requires of them). Most of the jobs in society are almost inherently unenjoyable, whether it be tediousness, horrible boss/customers, long hours etc. The fundamental difference between men and women, in my opinion, is that it is (or in…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 04:13 PM
1

Yes you’re right about that and I’m glad they have that right now. However, that still doesn’t negate the fact that saying women were less involved in the workforce would be an understatement.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 04:06 PM
1

Hey as long as you’re consistent
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 03:40 PM
0

If he wouldn’t consent to sleeping with you because of your body count, you are being predatory end of story. If you have a high body count, you should date someone who either has a high body themselves or are genuinely okay with you having a higher body count.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 03:35 PM
1

So it’s not a problem when we ask women why they’re not dating? If you’re consistent I’ll agree with you
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 03:00 PM
1

That’s true, perhaps I should’ve said why do you work a job.
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 02:36 PM
1

While I agree that most people generally don’t care about the lives of other, “asking questions” is often a covert way of showing disapproval. When I single, I often had female friends and especially female relatives ask why I’m still single. We acknowledge that this is a problem when we do it to women, but he’s the problem when he points out this phenomenon for men?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 02:34 PM
1

Actually this is interesting. What where you saying about “leave it to beaver reruns” in my post?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:23 AM
1

u/CimZim Hey! I think I’m the OP of the thread you’re referring to. As you can see, there’s a bit more diversity of opinion on the issue isn’t there? Some taking it, some wishing it was a real thing, some rejecting it because they love their work (which is why I mentioned that), some rejecting it on principle, etc. Given that a lot of the women in that thread seemed to think I was some out of touch nut job, why don’t we try and collaborate to make some sort of neutral poll/thread to get a gauge …
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 06:14 AM
-2

Then why would feminism have been needed to begin with? You can disagree with that arrangement, but it’s a little foolish to act like women were fully occupied during peacetime no?
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 05:40 AM
1

My gf asks me every time I see her😉
/r/PurplePillDebate16/11/22 12:26 AM
0

I thought telling women to smile was patronizing
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:54 PM
1

Do you like work?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:51 PM
1

Because if you like your job of course you’d want to work? The other more pressing issue is that most people actually don’t like their job.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:50 PM
2

Maybe I need more friends 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:48 PM
-1

Anecdotally, I come from a “traditional” household and that absolutely is how it works. That’s basically the cornerstone of the marriage arrangement. Statistically? Women control a majority of consumer spending, so I’d be shocked if they decide to splurge on their mans consumables and being frugal for themselves https://www.luceperformancegroup.com/Women-Consumers-Control-85-percent-Of-Spending-Power___635774267810750931_blog.htm
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:48 PM
1

So if a woman would like to be a SAHM, you’d consider that childish?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:43 PM
1

Yes, I also wouldn’t work if I was given the home keeper proposal. The difference id say is that this option is not nearly as available to men as even the women who make that much money generally want a financially successful man
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:42 PM
1

So you’d rather do boring mental labor to get stuff you want than doing something that’s fun?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:35 PM
2

Well, if that’s your answer I respect it
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:34 PM
2

Yea, sounds like pretty good deal to me. How did you find her?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:33 PM
1

Well or course all of the other things matter, but I’m specifically talking about money here. But if he suddenly made enough where that was a possibility would you be a homemaker?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:30 PM
-1

Usually women get more of the disposable income than the man does.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:28 PM
-3

So you’ll do something you wouldn’t do without getting the shoes instead of something that you would do without getting the shoes… so it’s ego independence then? You have to serve somebody to get the shoes either way
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:26 PM
1

Doesn’t that add to my point if anything? If you’re already keeping in it order, why not make him take on most/all of the financial responsibility?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:20 PM
1

“Please no people who see themselves as above the fray.” This is a subreddit dedicated to addressing the realities that men and women currently see the dating world differently. Let me ask you another question then. Are there any commonly held narratives on dating you’ve come to see as incorrect?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:14 PM
1

Yeah, is that some sort of contradiction? Most women and men work crappy jobs.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:12 PM
1

Do you have a source for that? I’d imagine most women who do not receive alimony is because they are already financially independent or have a job of their own.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:11 PM
0

So if you like being provider, would you be okay with a man keeping the home/ doing leisurely activities while you work? This seems to be what a lot of men are perfectly fine doing if they have the means.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:10 PM
1

If he couldn’t provide for you, then you would need to work. I’ll give you the same hypothetical. There is a man that meets all of the standards you already have outside of money (ie not abusive/cruel). He can provide your current standard of living with the agreement that you keep the home in order. Would you still work a 9-5?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:08 PM
0

Would you work if you didn’t get the money to buy those shoes?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 10:01 PM
0

Not trying to be an asshole, but it seems like you’re avoiding the question. If there were a man that could provide your current standard of living in exchange for you keeping the home in order (the 20th century/ late industrial arrangement), would you take it or keep working?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:59 PM
0

I actually agree with you. I think most people cannot provide for multiple people with one income anymore. But then the answer isn’t that women want to work it’s that they need to, which is more or indictment of our current order than individual women.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:57 PM
-2

Do you suck dick without being enticed with shoes?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:55 PM
1

If genie popped a man into existence that could provide for your current standard of living, given you need to keep the house in order would you take it then?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:54 PM
1

Yes so if you were able to get all the house in order in 2-3 hours you’d have 5-6 hours for writing.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:53 PM
1

So if you were provided your current standard of living from a man in exchange for keeping the home, would you take it or keep going?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:47 PM
1

Alimony
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:35 PM
1

What’s the leading question?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:34 PM
-5

“How would I survive?” Most women in 20th century were homemakers or worked part time if their husband was working class. It’s not some fringe hypothetical, probably one of your female relatives was/is that role at some point
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:12 PM
1

Do you like your job?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:10 PM
0

If there were a hypothetical man that gave you your current standard of living (ie eating out, neighborhood/residence, car etc.) but you had to be the homemaker instead of worker would you take it? If the home is clean and all you can spend the rest of your day how you want, husband doesn’t control or beat you or anything like that.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 09:09 PM
5

You’re a troll, aren’t you?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 07:31 PM
1

And what level of money are we talking here? The guy that’s actually broke and unemployed, or the average guy making “only” $40k at 30 something with maybe like $20k in a retirement account?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:22 PM
2

Yes I’d say FDS is essentially a female offshoot of TRP
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 04:46 PM
2

What do you mean “enjoy the decline”?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 06:28 AM
10

Hey I just want to say good on you for challenging your prior beliefs! It can be very difficult to overcome those biases, and these voices have only come up very recently. Better late than never
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:38 AM
16

You’d be surprised how one way it often is
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:28 AM
2

Yes I definitely agree with this. I don’t think it’s body count per say, it’s about her relationship with sex itself (does she use it as a tool to bond or a toy)
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:27 AM
2

What’s a pill popper?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:25 AM
6

Hey she probably didn’t have access to those resources like we do.
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:24 AM
2

“Great prompt OP” Thanks!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 05:24 AM
2

Yea I’d say the inflection point is 30-35, that’s where men and women are roughly equal. https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/08/online-dating-out-of-your-league/567083/
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 12:50 AM
8

Probably “his body, his mind”
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 12:27 AM
1

He is not entitled to her body, and she is not entitled to his attention. Simple as that
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 12:15 AM
2

So then virtually everyone should go to therapy… do you think that’s realistic?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 12:10 AM
4

Objective insecurity: one’s that women have Personal insecurity: one’s that men have
/r/PurplePillDebate15/11/22 12:09 AM
5

Dont women also do that? Unfollow this girl, don’t go out to the bars, etc? Im making this post because although both genders are insecure, women seem to be the ones with contempt for it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 11:41 PM
3

Damn, I never even thought of it that way. But if women want to be treated equal shouldn’t we be holding them to a higher standard as well?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 10:53 PM
6

All of the things you listed there are exactly what I’m referring to when I say “reasonable insecurity”. Is it unreasonable to want to be secure that your kid is actual yours? Is it an insecurity that women don’t want to give their address to a guy right away? Or not want to have sex on the first date?Yeah, probably. But is it a reasonable insecurity? I would yes those are reasonable insecurities
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 10:36 PM
1

Hey we might become paralyzed but at least I can blame her for it!😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 10:33 PM
3

How does one weaponize insecurity exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 08:50 PM
2

Yes, and that truth is fading as time goes on.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 08:48 PM
2

Insecurity is cringey, or the defense mechanisms?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 08:29 PM
4

You’re telling me that women don’t expect their partners to change? I’ve changed some of my behaviors, specifically because I was fueling some of my girlfriends insecurities and our relationship is better because of it.
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 08:16 PM
6

Changing topics is reactionary? What do you think “reactionary” means exactly? I do have insecurities, because I’m a normal person. Luckily I have a gf that doesn’t call me a reactionary for having those insecurities
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 08:14 PM
3

Oh I’m sorry, she’s only making 6 times the average mans salary instead of 7. Point is, women are rapidly gaining ground in the professional world and that’s commendable. I’m saying it’s time that we start taking steps in dismantling those norms regardless of who it benefits, men or women
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:40 PM
1

Those are both insecurities, and both are valid. That being said, the former can be talked through whereas the later generally cannot. It’s okay to stop talking to someone if they are not compatible with your preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:38 PM
6

Yes because arguing that men should be able to be open about their insecurities is a reactionary position. That’s totally what Andrew Tate tells men to do with women. You’re joking right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:36 PM
2

Okay, so should men be more forthcoming about their insecurities then?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:30 PM
10

I’m shocked you resorted to body shaming. Who could’ve seen that one coming smh
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:16 PM
2

It does, you just need to find a woman that doesn’t live in 1952
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:15 PM
2

“The gender wage gap is narrower among younger workers nationally, and the gap varies across geographical areas. In fact, in 22 of 250 U.S. metropolitan areas, women under the age of 30 earn the same amount as or more than their male counterparts, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of Census Bureau data.” https://www.aamc.org/news-insights/press-releases/majority-us-medical-students-are-women-new-data-show I feel so bad for those female physicians making $320,000 instead of $360,000
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:14 PM
5

And why might that be? Maybe because its not generally acceptable to shame women for insecurities?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 07:11 PM
5

Oh yes then on that point I am certainly with you. Women don’t get called out nearly as much
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:47 PM
9

I’m definitely sorry that happened to you. I’d just say that there are guys that are willing to talk about insecurities, as every person has at least some. I hope you find someone who can be mature about insecurities coming from both sides
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:45 PM
6

Well that’s the thing now. Women are now more educated and under 30 in Urban centers are making more than men now. They are also a majority of med students so let’s not act like it’s 1822? I think a lot of women are wanting to keep the matriarchy of social interaction while also gaining ground in the aforementioned areas that used to be male dominated. If they want to gain power in the public sphere, they need to cede ground in the private sphere
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:44 PM
2

Ok so “psyche ward” is comedic hyperbole, but you unironically said therapy. You can’t love insecurity out a man, but if he’s worth keeping you should be able to talk with him about it. It sounds like you might also need therapy the way you’re talking about this
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:41 PM
11

This is where I disagree with redpill guys, manosphere etc. Talking about your insecurities is basically the male version of a “shit test” for women. If she tries to turn it against you or try to weaponize it in any way, she not worth your time
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:38 PM
1

So you’d be okay with a man that’s secretly insecure and resentful, as long as it doesn’t reach your ears then?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:36 PM
11

For talking about their insecurities? Or screaming and throwing stuff? My ex threw my phone across the room when I wasn’t listening to her… she’s a crazy bitch. My current gf told me the other week that it makes her insecure when I don’t hold her hand in the car. Guess what I do every time we drive, happily?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:35 PM
2

Ok so here’s a crazy idea… maybe talk through those insecurities with him and resolve those issues instead of sending him to psyche ward?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:30 PM
2

Well maybe he gets a lot of matches and doesn’t put in a lot of effort because of it. But I’d agree, if you put in effort and he is not reciprocating I’d stop talking to the guy
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:29 PM
1

Im just clarifying for anybody reading this, when you’re talking to a guy you don’t care whether he has any insecurities? That’s the way you treat men in relationships?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:28 PM
3

But if a man is talking to a woman, should his insecurities not be known to the woman? If you have only fans, is he only to say he doesn’t like that if the woman explicitly asks him if he’s okay with her OF account?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:23 PM
3

Truuuust me that is NOT how it works in reality. When I was on it, you get a “hey” or even “…” and it’s on you after that. I wish there was a report button for it
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:19 PM
8

I’m sorry, where are these women getting called out for projecting their insecurities? I can’t seem to find it anywhere
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:17 PM
8

Ok cool so if a man says “I don’t want a woman with 30+ body count because I’m insecure she can’t pair bond”, we’re good then right?
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:15 PM
2

Let’s be honest here, the men are expected to initiate the conversation. I even understand it, women have orders of magnitude more matches on average. It might be that the men who meet her standards might not have to play jester anymore? Idk I wasn’t that hot when I was on them😂
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:13 PM
10

Couldn’t you apply this to women as well? “Oh you don’t like that your boyfriend is liking other girls instagram posts? Sounds like you need to work on your insecurities or they’ll leave you”. Wouldn’t it just be more mature for both partners to admit it is an insecurity, that insecurities can be valid, and to try and come up with a solution? I’ve done this in my current relationship actually. My girlfriend is generally the more insecure one, but I actually try to make room to assuage those inse…
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 06:11 PM
2

Sorry the men she matched with weren’t playing jester well enough for her liking, my deepest condolences😔
/r/PurplePillDebate14/11/22 05:59 PM
37

If a man sees you as an equal, he won’t respect you as a lady. He’ll treat you like any other man, which is likely not very respectful.
/r/PurplePillDebate11/11/22 02:46 AM
1

The realities of work are not glamorous either. Most aspiring doctors become overworked healthcare staff, most aspiring lawyers become clerks, most aspiring bankers become accounts receivable. Most people (women included) work jobs, not careers
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 07:04 PM
7

I think that makes sense, but then shouldn’t it be something like “most men are sloppy” or “men are crusty”? Ugly implies your inherent attractiveness
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 01:01 AM
0

I’d say men have it harder generally in dating, but I don’t think being neurodivergant magnifies it. After reading the point you made about women being more susceptible to being used if they are neurodivergent, I think you have a point actually
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 12:54 AM
1

I’ll just leave this here to piss off everyone. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernormal_stimulus
/r/PurplePillDebate10/11/22 12:51 AM
1

You don’t think men are worried about a woman’s motives? Isn’t that the precisely problem with the manosphere? They’re probably a little too worried about women’s motives? Getting financially drained and or socially slandered is not an “ego” concern. But let’s go to the ego point. At what point is it neurotypical to start feeling valid negative emotion from rejection? 10 rejections? 25? 50? 100? I hate this word “ego”, it makes it sound like valuing basic self-respect is some sort arrogant act. …
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 10:23 PM
1

Firstly, I got 404’d so I’m not sure if there’s an alternate way to get to the data. Also, are you Australian by chance? I’m shocked that only 20% were due to partner infidelity. What I’m very skeptical of is that out 20% of cases where men initiated divorce that only 2% of divorces ended due to non-affective reasons. Do Australian women just not cheat or abuse their husbands? Maybe I should move there!
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 10:08 PM
3

Yes I agree with you, the “it will never happen” people are exactly the types that are stopping the conversation from progressing. I think the best thing we can do is call each other out when we see shitty behavior. In my own life I call out men who try to emotionally suppress other men, and I call out women who try to trivialize it. It’s not much but we have to start with baby steps
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 05:30 PM
1

Oh so you’re afraid to ask out a guy because of his motives? Its almost like it’s risky to be the one to do the approaching because you don’t know the motives of the person you’re asking out, why do you assume this is different for men? Your comment “I’m giving up an element of control” seems to say a lot about why you (and frankly a lot of women) are so adamant about the burden of imitation being solely on men. Regarding OPs comment, yes, you are unfair and silly. He said verbatim “I as a perso…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 05:26 PM
0

Then boy do I have news for about ~70% of women on dating apps😂
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 05:16 PM
10

How about we actually talk about the societal problem instead of always telling the individual man to fix it? That’s almost the point of a discussion subreddit🤷‍♂️
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:53 AM
1

Oh I’m sorry, he was asked out as a joke. I’ve actually been asked out directly by a woman but I understand I’m in the minority here. Is it that hard for you to admit most women are too afraid to ask a guy out directly?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/11/22 06:50 AM
2

As a guy, I’m finding it interesting that most of these boil down to “everyone is different so it’s a wash” or some commentary on our bodily strength
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 10:36 PM
6

Where did you get that we’re talking about girls asking out guys? The whole of this post is quite literally that women don’t do that on a large scale
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 10:15 PM
1

I think we’ve finally gone from “men actually aren’t struggling on the whole, you’re just a weirdo” to “men actually are struggling, pick yourself up by your bootstraps and do better”… Hey it’s progress!
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 07:31 PM
2

Women initiate about 2.5x as much, men do not cheat and/or abuse their spouse at that rate. On top of that, infidelity has always been grounds for divorce even before women could own property. So what else might it be?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 07:27 PM
0

They’re generally more emotionally and socially developed. In fact, I’d say that’s often times the problem. When women interact with men who have been systemically repressed in emotional and social expression, they find it off putting and “creepy”. I understand why it’d be weird initially dealing with someone emotionally underdeveloped, but it seems like women have this idea that men should emotionally “pick yourself up by your bootstraps”. I think men have a lot to learn from speaking with wome…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/11/22 05:51 PM
1

I’m sorry, doesn’t this vindicate the redpill at least on this front? It’s almost like women can also have toxic standards because they are also fallible people or something
/r/PurplePillDebate06/11/22 04:38 PM
2

Owned a house and car? That’s pushing upper middle unironically nowwadays
/r/PurplePillDebate01/11/22 04:50 AM
3

Because by definition we cannot all be top tier? Is it that hard?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 05:06 PM
1

So you’re not homosexual then, you’re effectively bisexual unless it was an asexual relationship, which is not what this post is about. talking about heterosexual relationships because that does apply to most humans.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 06:33 AM
1

That’s not what it says. It says 6.74% of women meet your standards, not that you have a 6.74% chance of finding one.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 06:12 AM
1

Well if you’re a biromantic homosexual I’d say you’re not really representative of the people I’m talking about. Nothing against you, but this is mostly a heterosexual problem, the mismatch in how we value each other. Does this happen a lot in LGBT spaces?
/r/PurplePillDebate30/10/22 06:11 AM
1

I mean I guess there’s these two sites. https://igotstandardsbro.com https://realitycalc.com
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 06:18 PM
1

Yeah, of course it’s not an exact science, but we can both acknowledge that some people are generally more attractive than others when it comes to looks, personality,etc. Saying that they’re all equal in desirability in it’s just finding the right match is silly and we both know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/10/22 06:17 PM
0

So is your husband rich? If not, wouldn’t that mean he’s not a 10/10?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 06:31 PM
2

Yeah I think that’s actually a really good way of presenting what I’m saying! It’s hard to explain that there are pretty definable traits/spectrums in which men actually are ranked, but it sounds weird putting it on a universal scale.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 02:35 AM
1

I’m confused about the link, did I come off like I’m trying to make myself seem desirable?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 12:55 AM
1

And how many of those are there?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 12:53 AM
1

There are multiple women here saying that they do need a 10/10 though. The point of this post is to see how many of the generally accepted “attractive qualities” (that includes emotion) are required to be desirable
/r/PurplePillDebate28/10/22 12:49 AM
1

Ok so then how diverse do you think womens preferences really are though?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 10:03 PM
2

Ok so please read my post again then. It’s based on whatever you, yes, YOU🫵 personally value. How close does a man have to be to a 10 for you to consider dating him?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 10:01 PM
2

Ok so what I seem to be getting from a lot of women here is that they’re all needed 8+… doesn’t that kind of vindicate the manosphere about the 80/20 rule?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:59 PM
2

No worries :( Edit: :) lmao
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:57 PM
1

Well now I know, thanks :)
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:57 PM
3

Ok, so 10 is perfect right? Where on the scale do you have your cutoff? Edit: where on YOUR individual scale? Please don’t pull some “everyone is different” answer. I’m asking about YOUR preferences
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:55 PM
4

SMH ok so he’s a 10 to you. Did you initially see him as a 10 or did he grow on you and now he’s a 10?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:54 PM
9

No, that guy would be a 9.999999. Is it really this complicated? A 5 would be -$40k/yr -5’9”-5’10” -5.5 in - Decent personality but nothing to write home about -100 IQ -etc
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:53 PM
0

Ok so you are only willing to date like a Tom holland or Chris Hemsworth or something? The absolute pinnacle of society?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:49 PM
1

Still don’t know what CMV is here, but yes that’s a good post of what I mean! Where do you draw the line for yourself?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:48 PM
1

I’m sorry, I’m really confused by your response. It looks like you’re looking for just a 50/50 relationship?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:46 PM
1

So then I guess the question is do womens preferences of men vary that wildly? If their preferences were that varied wouldn’t most men be fine in finding a woman that likes something about them?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:44 PM
5

And what would those standards be exactly?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:38 PM
3

So your standard is the absolutely perfect, idealized man in your head? I thought it was men who had the objectifying standards haha
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:37 PM
7

So you only would be willing to date the absolutely perfect man in your head? There is no room for human flaws,
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:36 PM
3

Ok so let’s say you really value money. A neurosurgeon making $700k a year would probably a 9 or 10, a Joe Schmoe making 40k is like a 5 and unemployed bum is a 1. Say you value a guy being funny, a famous comedian would probably be a 10, normal guy is 5, boring/awkward guy is a 1. You value height, 6’4” and above would be 10, 6’0 is and 8.5 (based on data), 5’9” is a 5. So put together all of those things and how much you really care about them. Your perfect guy would obviously be a 10 right? H…
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:35 PM
5

I think that’s pretty fair. Do you think it’s mostly set in stone which category a man is in or do you think men can go from no to yes or vice versa pretty easily?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:17 PM
0

Are you trying to do some sort of gotcha then or did you not read the title?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:14 PM
4

Ok, then let me really simplify it if I’m being too abstract here. What percent of men that you’ve met, seen on the street, etc do you put in the yes/maybe category?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:12 PM
-1

Are you lesbian then? If so, I guess I’d be interested in how lesbians set the bar with other women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:10 PM
2

Alright and would you consider yourself more desirable to men than 9 out of 10 women are then? If so, what makes you more desirable than the other women? Not trying to be aggressive or anything, but a man that is a 9 or 10 to you would likely be pretty attractive to other women as well no?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:09 PM
2

I’m assuming you’re joking, and I understand that. I’m saying in your own subjective view, some men are closer to perfect (10), some are middle of the road (5), and some are really ugly/abusive(1). Surely you believe there’s some men that are more desirable than other no?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:06 PM
3

When women initiate the majority of divorces, and get child custody a vast majority of the time, how is it hard to see that men are more skeptical of marriage now? Doesn’t really matter if he “caused” it or not, point is he’s not going to be the one that wants it to end in all likelihood
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 09:04 PM
2

1=Worst, 10=Best I’ve tried asking about what exactly women value and it seems like there’s too much variation in what women want which makes sense. So whatever it is that you would see as the perfect man, that’s a 10, Joe Schmoe is a 5, worst guy is a 1. My question is, based on your own subjective preferences, where do you generally draw the line as “dateable” and where do you see yourself in that spectrum?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 08:59 PM
1

IfykykYK
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 08:42 PM
–

Has anyone ever argued that a flat ass is good?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 05:55 PM
1

I think you’re confusing dating what you want and darting in your league. If you want to date in your league, you have more men than women looking for a relationship given that women are more likely to be okay being single. If you want specific requirements (6’0” or taller, six figures, certain level of “confidence”/social skills), there’s a disproportionately large amount of women who also have those same requirements. If you believe you deserve nothing but the best, so do a lot of other women
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 05:49 PM
2

Hey, if that’s your position then it’s your position. I don’t agree with it but you’re being consistent I’ll give you that
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 05:16 PM
1

Not trying to be a dick, but it seems like you’re kind of weaseling out of the question. Let’s say you heard the partner over the phone saying they are cheating or saw them kissing someone else idk. Point is you know with 100% certainty that they did it.
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 04:14 PM
1

If you knew your friends partner was cheating on your friend, would you tell your friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate27/10/22 03:34 PM
2

If you can unironically be manipulated by a toddler, you probably shouldn’t be taking care of a child. I’ve babysat multiple times, boy and girl, it’s not hard to see past their tricks when they’re children
/r/PurplePillDebate26/10/22 07:06 PM
3

Not sure how you came up with that fallacy here. Im not saying that no undersocialized men are problematic, but rather a majority of undersocialized men are not sexual predators and (almost inherently) don’t even have the social skills to manipulate women. Maybe I’m missing something here?
/r/PurplePillDebate25/10/22 05:06 AM
5

Conflating sex offenders or manipulative men with men who just aren’t properly socialized the way that you like is what’s actually “sexist and dangerous”.
/r/PurplePillDebate24/10/22 05:57 PM
11

Idk about that, chief. My gf told me she kissed a girl before she met me and now knows she’s not bi. Whether you think she’s telling the truth or is lying and actually is bi, she didn’t do it in front of a guy
/r/PurplePillDebate23/10/22 06:40 AM
0

Tl;dr your attention span is short
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 09:43 PM
1

Gee, it’s almost like you guys don’t really care about where your opposition is coming from 😂
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 08:53 PM
1

While I’m happy that you don’t get called gay for wearing jewelry, that’s a somewhat trivial advancement for men if we’re both being honest here. The core problems of the gender roles placed upon men are still there and haven’t really been addressed. Women got body positivity, men still get rejected or laughed at due to height. Women have been allowed to take on the role of breadwinner, men are not given the chance to be homemakers (most successful women want a man who makes as much or more than…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 04:31 PM
1

OP, this is the general consensus that men are beginning to build around the subject because the silence is getting louder as the years go on. The fact that Andrew Tate has risen to his level of prominence shows how much we’ve failed as a society to address this issues in a mature and even-handed manner.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 07:09 AM
6

If you’re ACTUALLY naturally beautiful, the halo effect/“Pretty privilege” will work in your favor. It’s when you invest an excessive amount into your looks (ie makeup, fashion, surgery) that people assume you’re vain, even if you do look more attractive than you would have otherwise.
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 07:07 AM
3

I don’t think anything is “censored” per say, I think it’s the absolute lack of any real academic studies investigating the validity of any of the manosphere’s claims. When men try to come up with ideas or theories about the changes in gender relations (I.e. increasing concentration of sexual access for men to the top, effects of womens education/income on their perceived worth in the dating market, the systemic causes of women having better educational attainment than men), we’re effectively ga…
/r/PurplePillDebate22/10/22 07:03 AM
3

So then I have to ask you, if the media and academics are so worried about incels wouldn’t the best thing to do be actually testing their hypothesis in a scientific manner? Why do we wave to resort to tinder data or street interviews?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 05:34 PM
7

There’s a sort of “sexual inequality” among men, although not as steep as some red pill men think. Some men get a lot more sex than others, and the difference is more pronounce among men. Regarding sources, they’re very hard to come by. I’d argue it hasn’t really be researched because the hypothesis is somewhat in line with incel doctrine. Here’s some tinder data, it’s unreliable but it’s the most I can find in the subject (hopefully medium is credible) https://medium.com/@worstonlinedater/tinde…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 05:18 AM
–

Ok theft aside, why would you want to keep a mans hoodie unless you missed him?
/r/PurplePillDebate21/10/22 05:09 AM
9

Women trying to overvalue their achievements is like men when they try to overvalue their muscles. We don’t have the same type of attraction that women have, and you can’t shame your way out of this
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 02:00 PM
1

Well, if you genuinely aren’t going to turn around when you’re 35 and say it’s unfair, I think that’s a great life path.
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:53 PM
1

OP, there are a lot of unfair things that men can judge women on. Age, cup size, even ethnicity. Height is not something that you should be insecure about. If you are genuinely okay with dating a guy that’s shorter than you it’ll be fine! Don’t beat yourself up over it
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:28 AM
1

What are “actual issues” exactly? It sounds like you’re trivializing any issues guys are bringing up, in a subreddit that specifically designed for both sexes to bring up these exact issues?
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:16 AM
1

Not sure I understand the question. Are you saying that women are more content to be single because if they wanted a relationship it would fall in their lap? I think that’s probably part of it tbh
/r/PurplePillDebate19/10/22 01:14 AM
4

Firstly, I’m happy that you’re happy! I think when men talk about the wall, we’re referring to the fact that women generally start to become less attractive relative to men or rather that they lose the relative edge compared to men. This makes sense as many women do tend to run into fertility problems in their mid to late 30s, so it stands to reason that perceived reproductive fitness tends to decline around that age. That’s not to say a woman can’t get in better shape, develop a better personal…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 08:44 PM
1

Wait, isn’t that literally the point of this subreddit? For men and women to bring their grievances and disagreements here?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 07:44 PM
1

I don’t think it’s that men are more emotional as a whole, we’re just more emotionally repressed.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 07:38 PM
6

https://nypost.com/2017/11/20/women-are-more-content-being-single-than-men-study/amp/ There seems to be some evidence that this is the case, even if the difference isn’t extreme. I’d be interested in hearing a woman’s perspective on this
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 06:55 PM
26

This actually is a good point. Why do you think women are more likely to be okay with being single? I’d think it’s because they have richer social lives
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 06:35 PM
1

Are you just calling yourself a retard then? “Figure out how get a girls panties off”, are you a pick up artist or some shit? Sorry if I’m a little skeptical about you being a “meathead” if you have a facemask on your Reddit profile, no pictures of yourself, and no comments or posts on any fitness subreddit
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 06:18 PM
1

You don’t care why there’s a problem? How do you solve a problem if you don’t know how to solve it? Most of these guys think it’s because they don’t make enough money or they’re not tall enough. It absolutely matters why they’re struggling. This isn’t a hard truth this is just you not having any curiosity about the underlying causes of a problem you’ve posted about 10+ times. I’m saying that as men if we want to help other men, we should try to show them actionable ways to better their market va…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:49 PM
1

What are you talking about? You have 10+ posts specifically starting with “Incels:”…. In the last year. Why would you lie about this when you’ve been caught red-handed?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:33 PM
2

Yea, and socialists always talk about the revolution that never comes, what’s your point here? I would agree that in the past most men did eventually grow out of it, but that’s increasingly not happening. So the question is why are they not “figuring it out”? If they’re lazy, why are they lazy? If they’re awkward, why are they awkward? Being perfectly frank, it seems you have a little bit of a superiority complex to these men who are angry and confused. I think if they knew what they should do t…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:30 PM
1

Why not ask him out then? Are you a traditionalist?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:19 PM
1

Dude lmao all of your posts are directed at incels please for the love of god don’t try to brush this off like you’re indifferent😂
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:18 PM
1

Yes in the actual labor market the unemployment rate is low. I’m referring to the rising rate of incels in younger men. Are all of the tens of millions of men just dropping the ball at a higher rate than women? This is a denial of any systemic developments, which is actually a political stance whether you think it is or not. If you didn’t care about this you wouldn’t be on this subreddit would you?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:16 PM
1

Yeah of course I don’t have an individual responsibility to find everyone a job. But as a society, when there is high youth unemployment, and that number is steadily rising along with social resentment, why would you not want to discuss that? I have a hard time telling whether you’re a Fox News neocon type or if you’re still in your libertarian phase
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 05:06 PM
1

Yeah, I also got a nice internship at college and make more money than most people my age. Doesn’t really change the fact that most people are not able to get into those cushy internships. “Why not be the one recruiters are hunting” is basically boomeresque bootstrap theory but for dating. Yes, people should improve themselves but when you have a market against your favor there will be large segments of people who falls between the cracks
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:50 PM
1

That’s fine, then polygamy is a necessary result of that thinking.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:44 PM
3

Well, from what my gf told me on the dating app before we met is that she had more likes than she knew what to do with. I can be frank and say she is not a model or top 5%, I love her regardless obviously. This seems to be the standard for women, just as LinkedIn recruiters have more supply of applications than they know what to do with, so they pick the best that they can, which is rational and women shouldn’t really be shamed for acting in their own best interests. But if you keep interviewing…
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:41 PM
2

I should also add, I don’t blame women for not dating incels in the same way I don’t blame employers for not employing drugged out homeless people. They need help before they should really enter the market
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:37 PM
2

That’s a good point, maybe it’d be more like a recruiter that hires the position. The other problem with this model is that once a relationship starts the woman generally loses that degree of power in the selection process, as she’s already selected, there isn’t a boss/worker dynamic in (healthy) relationships
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:35 PM
1

Yes, you’re right! McDonalds or a boring insurance company is going to have a harder time attracting talent than Google or Goldman Sachs. But you still see many entry level jobs requiring 3-5 years experience and a college degree right?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:30 PM
1

Of course there’s not a legal contract in that sense, it’s not a perfect analogy by any stretch. Simply a way of looking at that acknowledges the imbalances in selectivity between the sexes without devolving into “you’re either a Gigachad alpha who f**ks anything with two legs or you’re an emasculated beta male soy cuck”
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:29 PM
1

Yes, that’s precisely what I’m saying, they compete for top tier “talent” in the same way employers only compete with each other for top tier professionals (engineers/doctors/executives etc). The idea that women compete for the top and do not compete for the bottom are not contradictory, they are complimentary
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:22 PM
2

This whole rants effectively boils down to “people are different”, message received. I’m saying that yes, generally women are more able to participate in a sexually liberalized hookup culture. If this weren’t the case, ladies night wouldn’t exist, and dating apps wouldn’t be overwhelmingly male. I actually made a post earlier asking “what value does a man bring to a relationship”, and got some pretty interesting answers (albeit fairly vague). From what I gathered most men towards the bottom are …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:19 PM
1

I put up pretty arbitrary numbers, given there only seems to be figures for absolute incels and the “80/20” rule. These figures could be way off, and maybe the MGTOW is overstated in my post fair point. Regarding the inequality of mens preferences, this is also the case in the labor economy. Nobody wants to be a janitor, many people want to be the doctor/lawyer “white collar” guy. My point is most men are not able to get into this “class” for whatever reason. Just because you want an attractive …
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:12 PM
1

I think you’re sorely mistaken if you believe that women have nearly the same competition as men do. The fact that dating apps and bars alike have to appeal to women kind of proves the point. But bringing it back to the job market analogy, you do know employers also compete for workers? It’s just workers have to compete significantly more is my point. You having to resort to an anecdote when you were younger seems like a little bit of a false equivalence no?
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:07 PM
1

I literally said that this model commodifies women, and even asked if this is one of the reason that women are objectified in society. The entire study of labor economics also “dehumanizes” people in this exact fashion.
/r/PurplePillDebate18/10/22 04:04 PM
1

“Incelogy”? What about anything I cited or what part of my opinion has anything to do with incels? Half of the sources I cited are women, and I’m laying out the sources of inequality. The fact your profile is miserable is pretty fitting
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:28 PM
1

If you think that discussing the academic literature on womens financial behavior is “hating women”, you are either just anti-intellectual or you have some weird sort of internalized misogyny. You can’t address gender inequality if you’re too afraid to discuss the problems candidly.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 08:20 PM
1

Emphasis on “the same expense categories”, do you always like to be snarky or this only when you talk to men?
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 07:17 PM
1

Yeah, but I’m saying that OP’s argument actually is somewhat in line with the relevant literature and then you condescendingly told me to take classes that I’ve literally taken. If you don’t care about the subject, why are you posting here? The point is that are material differences in gender regarding risk tolerance and spending habits
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 07:10 PM
1

I should add, I don’t think women are necessarily less “logical” or more “frivolous” than men given the same expense categories (I.e. cars, housing, grocery, etc.). I think having both a masculine and feminine perspective can add a healthy tension to have a healthy risk tolerance between pursuing opportunity for high returns and ensuring financial stability for a rainy day. In some cases, maybe the man is more risk averse and the woman is more risk tolerant. I’m speaking in generalities here
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 06:06 PM
1

I’ll start this response by saying that this is just my speculation/opinion, whereas the differences in economic behavior I stated previously are pretty well documented in the economic literature, I’m just to lazy to pull them. I’m saying that lifestyle creep, a non-gendered phenomenon, when combined with the gendered phenomena that I’ve listed here (along with countless others in the field of behavioral economics), will disproportionately affect women as their finances are already effected by t…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:56 PM
0

I actually have a bachelors in finance for the CFA, with a job in finance. specifically did a research report regarding sex-differences in financial risk appetite in Bangladesh for a upper-level economics course.The findings actually show that women, at least in developing countries, are less likely to default on their debt than men due to a relatively lower appetite for risk taking. Here’s a link if you’re interested in the concept of “micro finance” and how it helps women in developing countri…
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:33 PM
0

While I get what you’re saying, a woman being better off if she’s promoted or goes into a higher value field, lifestyle creep is definitely a real phenomenon. This is why you often see lawyers or even doctors with substantial financial issues. Any financial advisor will tell you that getting a higher income doesn’t mean much if you raise your lifestyle with every raise.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 03:52 PM
4

Idk if you’re being about the IQ thing, but his point about women spending more relative to their income is a valid point. Will it make them “poor”? I’m not sure
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:44 AM
2

Yes, I think it let’s both genders say things about the other sex that would’ve gotten them ostracized in mixed company. For men talking about chads and Stacey etc, would make you look like an overly analytical weirdo or mildly autistic. For women, saying every man is a gr@pist or predatory in some other way would make you look like a paranoid schizophrenic or something.
/r/PurplePillDebate17/10/22 05:36 AM
1

Ok so can I ask why you are on here?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 08:03 PM
1

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna9087 It’s not like this never happens, there’s nothing stopping women from simply rooming with their friends
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:30 AM
2

Well that’s an interesting point, I’d say there is some “value” to that. Problem is, many men are hesitant to approach women in public as it’s often seen as weird or creepy. Any pointers on this?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:28 AM
1

Yes I’d agree with you on that actually, men tend to go into more economically productive fields IF they get a degree. That’s not how women see it though, a woman marketing associate making $35k sees herself as “above” an electrician making $65k.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:15 AM
1

I have a feeling this is a shitpost, but if it’s not could you elaborate? I’m open minded about it if you’re being genuine
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:12 AM
1

I think you actually bring up pretty good points about the reality of the situation, but women don’t perceive it this way. If they perceive themselves to be valuable, it really doesn’t matter until shit hits the fan. Would your suggestion be to wait until the pipelines run dry?
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:10 AM
1

You’re not the first one to make this point, and I agree with it conceptually but you didn’t actually answer the question. That’s actually the exact reason why I’m asking the question. What things would women define as “doing better”? I already have a gf so it’s not so much for me, although I think even guys in relationships can gain insight from womens comments here. This post is really meant more to give actual incels a better chance at getting out of the horrific situation they’re in.
/r/PurplePillDebate08/10/22 12:08 AM
1

Hey man, I get it. I’ve struggled with it in the past, I know plenty of guys who do. I actually agree with you, most men are generally considered disposable by society, and always have been. But that’s something that we as men should try to change, no? If women had 50+ years picking apart every bad part about being a woman and scrutinizing what men prefer in women, maybe it’s time that we start to also stick up for ourselves when thing hurt men or women being shitty. Regarding your question, the…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:14 PM
1

So why not just room with a friend?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:06 PM
1

Yeah idk sometimes it seems like a cop out for women that actually do really prefer wealthier men but don’t want to flat out say it
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 04:56 AM
1

Are these all things you think men who are struggling in lack, or is it more of a mixed bag?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:27 AM
2

Ok so do you generally like to date men that are in your socio-economic strata instead of men that are above you socio-economically?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:24 AM
6

Why does he have to be ambitious? Let’s say he’s not “lazy”, he goes to his job, does 50% of domestic duties, pulls his weight emotionally etc. He’s just content with his life, why is this a bad thing?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 03:22 AM
1

Ok so how would a man show to you in the initial phases that he’s capable of providing those things? It doesn’t matter how perfect the man is if he can’t get his foot in the door if that makes sense
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:28 AM
1

All due respect, I don’t think your response was much more specific 😂. What are the kinds of things that’d make a man “worthy” in your eyes? Would it be them being adventurous? More empathetic? Easy going? Or is it more tangible (I.e. height, money, etc)
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:27 AM
4

To be fair, I think I made this post in pretty good faith and you can see in some of these comments that there is a low level of contempt for men from some of these women. That doesn’t excuse applying that to all women though
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:23 AM
1

Ok so are you saying it’s out of economic necessity? If so, wouldn’t that mean men also should only be dating women above them financially? Do you think it’s more acceptable for lower class women to do this than more financially secure women?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:20 AM
1

I understand the premise of this response, but you didn’t pick your partner for that to begin with. Surely there was something about him that stood out to you, no?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:12 AM
1

I’m already in a relationship, happily for a year coming up this month actually! I understand that it’s not a transaction, that’s not how I ever really saw it. I’m asking this more on a societal level, what are things that men (frankly, incels) can do to be more “valuable” to women to better their odds. I think telling men that they need to “do better” or just get used to being alone is a horrible thing for both men and women.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 02:11 AM
2

I’ve seen women say things like this, and I’d like to think I do a good job of that with my gf. But what would you say are things guys can do that are struggling with women?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:51 AM
7

Why does he have to be working as hard as you? What if he’s just not as ambitious professionally and is okay with that? Also, my gf is probably going to make 20-30% more than me in her career, and my “ego” isn’t getting in the way. Why do you think men can’t put their ego to the side?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:49 AM
1

So then you agree that “value” is a thing? I think the issue is most guys are in the dark about what actually is “valuable” to women
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:21 AM
8

Well that’s funny, because the commenter before seemed to hold mens financial struggles in contempt. But let’s put mens ego to the side. If a man was perfectly comfortable making half as much as you (say 25-30k if you’re not making a lot) and saw you as the breadwinner, would you be cool with that?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:19 AM
8

So why doesn’t dating down financially work for you? Is it a different “mindset” or just that they’re in a lower social strata than you are?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:10 AM
1

I’m trying here😅
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 01:07 AM
7

All due respect, I don’t think it’s “needlessly gendered”. Men are struggling to adapt to this new world more than women are. Most women are not actually struggling to attract men and I think we both know that.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:53 AM
2

Yeah I mean I don’t see my current relationship as some sort of equation where the “values” need to tie out. However, it’s pretty obvious that men are not bringing “value” in a way that women actual LG want
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:52 AM
7

Yes, that’s true, but it can’t be true for all women. Just how the average man can’t expect the 1950s homemaker for a wife anymore, woman can’t expect a 1950s breadwinner husband anymore. There just simply aren’t enough of them out there anymore. I’d be shocked if women were that comically greedy
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:49 AM
5

I thought that I literally addressed this in my post, that women are now financially and socially becoming equals to men? I’m asking now that this is the case, what are the things that women would like to see in men. Another question about the career/education trajectory for you then. If a woman is already traditionally ambitious/successful, why does she also need a man to be conventionally successful as well? If the woman makes six figures, why does she need a man to also be successful?
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:46 AM
2

Should the companionship be different than platonic companionship with say a family member or friend? If so, how should it be different? Physical protection or emotional protection? If women are more educated and are on track to financial equity with men, why do they need men for financial security? Definitely agree with “intimacy”. I think a lot of guys treat sex as a reward rather than a bonding experience, and I’m happy I’ve learned how to be more intimate with my gf.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:38 AM
2

Should’ve said I’m already in a 1-yr relationship if that’s what you’re getting at, but you still didn’t answer the question. What should men strive to bring to the table exactly? That’s like someone asking “what skills should workers bring to an interview” and responding “if you don’t have skills you can bring up you probably shouldn’t apply lol”.
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:35 AM
2

Well that’s good that you would that. Frankly, if you weren’t there for him if his kids died, you’d be an unequivocal piece of shit. But the fact that you’d “get his thyroid crying” if he’s crying more than you expect him to as if he’s defective for doing so is a little odd to me. My gf cries almost every other week, and I’m patient with her every single time. You might want to deny this, but the reality is your bf is probably more tolerant of your neurotic emotions than you are of his. This isn…
/r/PurplePillDebate07/10/22 12:23 AM
1

I think the major problem is that there is a new economic model in which physical power does not translate into economic success. This obviously has caused equality between the sexes financially, which has left traditional gender roles obsolete. Women are more sexually valuable so enjoy greater dating prospects all else equal. It’s not even that women are progressive and men are conservative. Women enjoy the status quo and are conservative on this dating market, and men are reactionary about it.…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:58 PM
1

Yea, that’s what I do? Maybe I’m not explaining my point properly. Men are allowed to talk about their emotions with women, but displaying it is another story. If you say “I’m insecure about x”, you’re not supposed to give off insecure energy as it’s a turn off. If you say “that thing you did upsets me” is fine, but raising your voice is threatening, so on and so on. While I don’t see therapy as a bad thing, I think you’re using it as a cure all for men instead of addressing the point that men a…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:41 PM
2

Yea, exactly my point. Being emotional/weak only is acceptable if there is a solution and you’re already on you’re way to fixing it. My gf has an anxious attachment style, I don’t tell her “that’s fine, but you need to see a therapist and figure that shit out”, because that would be crass. Women don’t say that (unless you directly ask them), but it seems that seems to be what they think
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:37 PM
1

No, he’s a actual medical student on rotations. He’s already done pretty much all of the actual work, and has worked in a clinical setting. Hate to appeal to authority, but at that level there is some credibility
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 11:32 PM
1

Yeah, no shit most of them don’t. We’re talking about the ones who do
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 04:09 PM
1

MGTOW is pretty much for men that are one step above incel. They’re the men that are hurt by hypergamy but not so bad that they can’t get laid at all. They’re the men that lower value women (yes, they also exist) try to go for. Part of me wants to say “you’re not entitled to date women you find attractive if it’s not mutual”, but they are entitled to refrain from dating altogether.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 06:11 AM
1

So why do 20 yo date these middle aged wealthy men? Why don’t they try to date younger, poorer guys if they’re so exploitative?
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 05:59 AM
2

She was 19 I was 20. I’m currently dating a 22 yo and I’m 23 (different girl). She’s much better about this stuff, but at the same time she’s very appreciative that I’m “emotionally stable”. I’ve learned that articulating your feelings in a firm but non-aggressive tone is the best way to describe your feelings.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 05:56 AM
3

Yeah I don’t want to say women are given a free pass with their emotions either, but you understand my point that men are taught to be emotionally repressed at like 5, right? You often have to consciously teach yourself as a man to recognize emotions as something worth talking about.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 05:52 AM
5

That’s a good idea hypothetically, but that’s just not how women work in my experience. My brother is a literal psychiatry student and even he says the same thing about women. I feel comfortable crying, even around women, but crying with your partner is just not a luxury heterosexual men have at this point
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 12:25 AM
5

For clarification, my current gf has seen me sob once because I thought I had to move cities from her. She thought it was sweet, because it was about her. Another girl in my past did say to my face though “Men who cry disgust me” so there’s that
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 12:22 AM
1

Well there’s something we can agree on haha. But I understand your point writ large, I think that the problem is the metrics that men rank themselves aren’t really in alignment with what women want and vice versa. I’d say the difference is there’s a fairly straighter path for women (ie beauty), whereas men are not really taught how to actually be attractive. I had a friend of mine wash his face with bar soap and complain about his acne. Sure, he’s stupid for doing that, but I’m lucky I had a mom…
/r/PurplePillDebate06/10/22 12:20 AM
1

Yeah, I agree with you. Men should strive to do these things, and do all of these things myself, which is why I have a gf. That being said, I find it rich that the sex that started “body positivity” (obesity apologetics), and is constantly bitching about unrealistic beauty standards bc of social media addiction is telling men to stop being a “pussy”. I’m just saying women generally have better access to beauty products and need to be less “beautiful” to be successful in dating.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 11:48 PM
18

Every girl I’ve talked to (including my current gf), has openly said they don’t like men who cry. I’ve come to realize that women like male emotion, but only when it’s palatable to their sensibilities. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but I’m happy that I’ve learned to display my emotions in a calm way, even if that’s not how I’m feeling inside.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 08:27 PM
1

Have you considered that the physical standard for men being attractive is harder to achieve? Height is largely genetic, physique requires both muscle and low body fat instead of just low Body fat, as well as societally having less access to fashion/style/cosmetic products for men. It IS harder to be attractive as a guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 03:53 PM
2

I think that’s exactly the problem. All rules/expectations on the mens part regarding what is desirable or even acceptable have led to a Wild West of sorts for men when it comes to dating. Most men put sex (the cart) before love (the horse), leading to wildly different outcome between groups of men. If you don’t think that the dating market is dysfunctional, how do you explain the existence of this subreddit?
/r/PurplePillDebate05/10/22 03:11 PM
3

Well he’s always been a bit of the brooding type, very academic (obviously). Every time he asks a girl out it’s an indirect rejection or they use him as a study guide or free food. He’s jaded about women at this point, and it’s getting pretty hard for me to tell him that he’s wrong. Women using their looks like really can destroy mens self-esteem and mental health, even if their that tall and (soon to be) well off. Regarding the emotional aspect, it’s something that I wish we gave men more actio…
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 11:21 PM
9

Idk my brother is 6’2” medical student and he’s still a virgin. That’s what’s led me to believe that it’s really not even about men chasing career at this point, or even the coveted 6 foot height requirement (im a 5’11” manlet). I really do think it’s about being able to make a women feel a certain way emotionally, and a lot of men are not taught how to do that.
/r/PurplePillDebate03/10/22 09:20 PM
1

So why dont women approach more then, in the face of cultural norms? Men are obviously not going to be threatened by women in the same way
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 08:21 PM
2

I’d say that’s a reasonable take, what about my point at large though. Do you understand why men might want to consume porn at higher rates than women?
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 08:20 PM
16

I’m guessing OP is ok with sex work as real work, but wants to stigmatize those who consume it. Sex (especially causal) is much rarer for men that it is women. No trying to saying make privilege in other aspects aren’t real, but in terms of sexual access women are privileged. Men don’t generally get the privilege of exploring their sexuality in the ways that most women do. If you want to say porn should be reformed, i think that’s a fair argument. But placing the blame on men, who are expected t…
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 07:54 AM
1

68% of people in the west are cool going Dutch? Not sure I believe that. I’ve tried going Dutch, never goes well. I actually paid for my GF on the first date, she later told me she wouldn’t have gone on a second date if I did. Later on she’s cool with it now (sometimes, not always), but women do seem to have a Hangup about it on the first date. Feminist or not.
/r/PurplePillDebate01/10/22 07:46 AM
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