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mantaraymagic Archive

View 2 posts and 166 comments by mantaraymagic on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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8

I don't give my age to anyone, not even work friends. I also never go into specifics about what I think about my coworkers or bosses. Maybe you've made a friend at work and think you have a confidant. But you never know when you could have a falling out with someone (or worse, they're opportunistic or competitive) and they spill the dirt. Even the most progressive boss will judge you differently re: promotions, job suitability, etc. if they know your age or some detail they don't agree with. Som…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 07:42 PM
-3

I'm talking about what made you want to block me last week. Don't go off topic. Also, he's a genuinely good person and I know his family. You don't even know me. Edit: I'm realizing your comment was tied to a different subthread of comments. My point still stands though. You're making a lot of assumptions about me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:51 PM
-5

While It's true that this is a general rule, there are exceptions to every rule and every critical thinker has to weigh the general rule against the situation in front of them. No rule is black and white. For fuck's sake, I follow 99% of FDS but I'm not going to be blindly evangelical with it. That's like saying that a HVM is rich, tall, and handsome, NO EXCEPTIONS. Like, really...? FDS is all about finding a HVM that works for you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:15 PM
1

What are you even talking about? Edit: Interesting that you won't even clarify. Care to elaborate?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:11 PM
7

My pleasure! It's not dating strategy, per se, but I think this can be very cathartic for some FDS'ers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 02:08 AM
8

Oh no, Kristen... :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:57 PM
10

God forbid a human being have bad breath in the morning!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:56 PM
8

Lmao. What a fitting description! 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:54 PM
9

Oh, and they neg and dismiss you to make you feel small so you don't leave. Can't forget that part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:52 PM
23

And, yet, there are thousands of men waiting to be swiped right on that could take his place—especially if all you want is a casual hookup. Dick is abundant and low value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:44 PM
7

I think the key difference is boundaries. HVM know to keep female friends at arms-length by doing group hangouts and being open and transparent. They don't have to be asked to do this because they want their current or potential partner to trust them and be comfortable. If a woman ever has to argue with a man about his ambiguous behavior with female friends, something is up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:18 PM
7

I'm still determining whether this is a red flag or an outright deal-breaker. It's certainly not a good thing either way. Example 1: I know a guy on social media who has mostly female friends. He works in a male-dominated trade, but was raised around women, so I figured that was why. As time goes on though, it seems that all his female friends happen to also be hot pick-mes and they have weak boundaries (e.g. sharing inappropriately sexual jokes on social media, him "jokingly" hitting on them). …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 12:14 PM
12

Abusive tendency: You can't abuse an intelligent person It's important to note that many intelligent women can and do get abused and gaslighted. It gets mentioned a lot in psychology and abuse discourse. Intelligent women excel in their career and elsewhere but, because society tells women they have to "have it all" and they struggle to find someone at their level among the sea of LV men, they feel there's something wrong with them for having a hole in their love life when everything else is rig…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 05:23 AM
8

I know what I want, but I have "fault lines" that make me vulnerable to certain guys. These are good to keep for those times where you're stuck on someone. I'm starting to put together a list and I'm going to use yours as inspiration! 🙌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 09:53 PM
8

They're laughing at him, most likely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:38 PM
4

Lol probably!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:35 PM
5

You should see it as a compliment because it's only bitter losers who say that. Reality rarely matches what they say. An incel sent me a DM with the same thing 5 min after I posted (my first hate comment! Like a rite of passage haha). Meanwhile, I have no difficulty meeting men lol. Finding men worth my time is the hard part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:35 PM
5

Agreed! He's clearly an idiot, but I'm thankful to FDS because the "all the other girls" comment would have triggered my insecurity over being a boring, wet blanket when, actually, there are a lot of LV women out there who don't know their worth. Because, yeah, what does that have to do with me? I know who I am and I know what I want. This ain't it lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:28 PM
7

Very astute observation! And I'm dying at the phrase "dusty balls and deformed soft pp" 😂 trolling is not wasted when it is shared so we can see subtle gaslighting in action. Very true. I think younger daters and FDS newbies can benefit from seeing toxic behavior in action so they have a reference. Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:21 PM
4

Aww thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:17 PM
6

They're shocked when you call out their bullshit. I would have seen this as LV before, but it's thanks to FDS that I'm blunt and direct instead of trying to he nice to people who don't deserve it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:16 PM
6

Yep, had my share of gaslighting. They love to make you the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:15 PM
8

Haha thanks! It's getting easier to take the trash out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:14 PM
7

That or they're pick-mes who will, hopefully, wake up and realize that male attention alone is not valuable by any means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/20 03:13 PM
1

Low EQ based on a mix of nature and nurture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 01:17 AM
1

Lol wow, how appealing! 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 12:58 AM
11

I buy a lot of secondhand clothes from ThredUP. I scored high quality blazers and cute sundresses in unique styles, so I recommend it. But you should know your size and visualize how the garment will look on your body. Other than thrifting, I would focus on quality over quantity and buy less often. People buying cheap items on a whim and ditching them after 6 months is the biggest factor, imo. Keep buying and they will keep supplying. I would also check out Etsy. I just ordered a quality work ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/20 12:55 AM
1

I interpreted your comment as "FDS isn't needed" as if female relationship advice in general is not needed and only self-esteem coaching is needed. That's why I disagreed. I personally don't care for pick-me advice posts and scroll past them. Anyway, my other comment acknowledges that we're all on the same page, so 🤷🏽‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:25 PM
2

That's true, but many people don't read sub materials on their own. If they make a post and get comments saying to check the handbook, they may do it. Not defending their laziness at all but you also can't force people to act a certain way. Every subreddit gets dumb posts. Perhaps mods could start deleting blatantly pick-me posts? Edit: anyway, I think we're all on the same page here but the previous commentor's post sort of read as "FDS relationship tips aren't needed" when, in fact, most psych…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 11:18 PM
11

How are most of those people supposed to build better awareness, self-esteem, and communication skills without having a forum where women pass down lessons and wisdom to each other? I've seen posters mention advice from their moms and grandmas too and this has been mind-blowing to someone like me who had a negligent mother and no emotional support and encouragement growing up. Not everyone has supportive and wise people in their circle. This place has been life-changing for many women, which is …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 10:46 PM
4

Honey, I'm not projecting at all. That's me acknowledging that many men neglect their half of housework, forcing women to pick up the slack if they want to live in an orderly home. It happens even with some HVM men if you aren't clear about your needs. And it would def happen with a man you have to share...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:26 PM
5

Seriously. Where is the benefit? Another woman to do the housework with? Uh... 😑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 08:01 PM
15

Probably hot and has a good job. But high value is more than that...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 07:59 PM
1

This takes the cake! 😨
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 07:55 PM
20

A red flag signifies something you should be weary of when you're actively dating someone... but he's already disrespected you (BIG TIME!) and put you on the backburner. And by overthinking like this, you're distracted from the fact that, regardless, you are still waiting patiently in pick-me-eventually, time-out territory. Forget the crush—do you want a boyfriend who will decide to put you "on hold" so he can explore things with someone else? Is that the kind of relationship you want? Triangula…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:47 AM
4

This is great advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/20 08:33 AM
2

Lol true. Plus, he's not a child. You shouldn't have to check on him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 12:45 PM
6

And yet if you had checked on him, he'd be annoyed by your "nagging". Fucking ego-driven clownery 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/03/20 10:28 AM
10

I started doing it in January and wasn't seeing anyone at the time. I'm still doing it and seeing people, but not planning on having sex anytime soon. I like how it feels and I don't have to spend time cleaning up the bikini area. My skin is noticeably softer, I feel lighter, and I get fewer painful ingrown hairs. I don't care about a guy's preference because I'm not about to change my routine. In the past, guys would love how I looked and they still didn't go down on me, so why should I care wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 11:04 AM
12

Same. I've always been uncomfortable with it because of its abusive undertones. I've also seen enough bad examples in my own family's past. And I regularly have to rip my cousins a new one everytime they try to bash black women for things like weaves, as if every white and latina girl they fetishize isn't also wearing fake hair 🙄 On top of the usual cheating, degradation, and woman-bashing, I'm mixed, so of course I can count of being fetishized as well. No, I'm not "better"—fucking miss me with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 10:51 AM
8

Omg, why is the sentence for CP in South Korea so low?! But even beyond that, the lengths these people manipulated and tortured others... They truly have no souls. I don't care if they have a family, or they sometimes help their elderly neighbor—they have no humanity in them. Absolutely horrible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:53 PM
2

That's downright selfish and cruel. Sorry you ever had to deal with this person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 02:45 PM
27

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 01:57 PM
96

If they can’t approach me they don’t get to waste my time lol. If they don’t think they are good enough then they indeed aren’t good enough Thank you. I'm writing this down and putting in on my fridge, bathroom mirror, everywhere!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/03/20 01:56 PM
2

He kept up the HVM act for 2 weeks, so he doesn't have staying power. He's also made it clear you aren't a priority and will only return when it goes badly with the other woman. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 12:19 PM
4

I understand that, but I don't agree. I guess it's a personal preference or values thing. The way I see it, the majority of men will experience balding or thinning and this is their way of taking care of their appearance. I'm not attracted to the bald look, so they'd be doing me a favour. Now, if they do that and turn around to bash women who've had work done or pressure someone to get surgery (which should be a personal choice), then that is absolutely shitty. No HVM would do that and any LVM m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 10:51 AM
13

Men talk confidently about attending porn conventions and wanting to meet porn stars. Regardless of their looks, it just screams "I'm a basement dwelling loser with an unusually strong right arm" but they don't care because they have no shame. None at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 02:16 AM
14

I've always said that anyone who ever feels bored either needs more work or more imagination. Hobbies are great for times like these! Lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:57 AM
24

These all make sense except for the hair transplant. I don't see what's so wrong about it. Is cosmetic surgery considered low value?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/20 01:48 AM
7

In my city, they're pretty equal. Hinge is flooded with LVM looking for hookups and the available guys are much uglier. And, surprisingly, there are many people on tinder looking for the real deal. Tinder benefits from the fact that everyone is on it, so it's a better choice if you're in a small to medium city. But both are still shitty because, imo, men undermine the intent of the apps with disingenuous bullshit. OLD apps are pretty equal in their uselessness 🤷🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 10:22 AM
4

Holy shit, you may have cracked the code 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 04:04 AM
58

Seriously! He's a babe. Never look for outside validation, especially from Reddit...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/20 03:38 AM
2

Lol they really think this will work out well for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:48 AM
2

I thought this was a cheating exposé profile airing out his dirty laundry. Turns out he's airing his own dirty laundry since he can't work a washer 🤦🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:43 AM
2

While, I think anal sex is a factor due to how risky it is, I think we have to consider differences in temperament and conditioning and how those impact dating cultures. Anyone familiar with gay and lesbian communities will know that lesbians are typically more commitment and safety-minded, even early on (it's even a running joke). Obviously, exceptions exist but this is the predominant "vibe". Meanwhile, the predominant culture in the gay male community is that of fast and loose promiscuity. Ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:22 AM
5

The corona beer bottle... I can't 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 10:01 AM
53

If you are very hot by most men's standards, they will assume this. You're not at fault and there's very little you can do to change their ignorant assumptions. Also, Hinge is trash. That could be a factor lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 09:58 AM
82

Men are super guilty of using "fat angles" to appear slimmer but they try to play it off like it's only heavier girls that do it. I was even fooled by one guy who wasn't fat but created a whole jawline out of thin air using angles and awkwardly cut-off photos. Like, I can't 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 10:25 AM
18

I wouldn't even just block. I'd report for harassment. Trying to mock and pressure someone into not looking out for their own safety ain't a good look.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:07 AM
6

Asking a woman out is too much effort... when you've deluded yourself into thinking you can order women to come over like they're appetizers on Uber Eats. The delusion and audacity...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 01:02 AM
4

Love this guy's videos. These are much needed support when I need to be reminded of my 👑 energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 12:57 AM
313

Nah, they'll just go silent, watch porn, then pop up on the apps at the same time. They're predictable. The same thing happened post-valentines, as if anyone is interested in spending their Valentine's with a rando.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/20 09:52 PM
2

My thoughts exactly. I get that the show is trying to get to a deeper theme, but I can't get on board with that. I sat through the first season because it was so highly recommended but I was so uncomfortable that I did not enjoy a single episode.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 11:24 AM
3

Haha thanks. But, shockingly, it's fairly common. I've heard so many stories of guys blowing off their girlfriend or a girl they're dating for a night with the boys, when that night already happens regularly. Like, I can't... 🤦🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 06:43 PM
1

"I posses [sic] a redemption that makes me more attractive than perfect." What in the world...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:26 PM
6

Ewwwww. Fucking hell.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 03:04 PM
4

This is my view as well. I've always taken her lyrics somewhat ironically—in that I should not identify with them and instead see it as tragic absurdism. And, because of that absurdism, subtler, normalized things like abuse and affairs suddenly seem as ridiculous and undesirable as sugar baby relationships. If I ever find myself relating to the abuse that's in her songs, then I know I need to remove myself from a situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:20 PM
9

She also clearly wanted the last name Petty. Priorities...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 12:12 PM
29

I actually enjoy the act of giving a man oral, much like how some men enjoy going down on a woman. That being said, I do not tolerate: Getting my head pushed down to their crotch; Bad hygiene (I will call it out); Lack of reciprocity (if a man is grossed out or too lazy to go down on me, he has no business getting the perks of a blowjob); and Throat fucking, insisting that they cum on my face, or other similarly degrading acts. This is because, while I do enjoy giving, I'm not a fucking sex toy.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:59 AM
3

Weak minded and complacent. Not attractive traits at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:43 AM
5

No, it's an absolutely valid point. It clicked for me last fall when dealing with someone who barely made conversation or plans but was happy to keep up the charade if it meant seeing me again. That's when I realized I was serving him sex on a silver platter. I caught on and suggested he move his weekly buddy boardgame night if he wanted to see me—he promptly went silent and ghosted, proving me right. When looking for a relationship, you have to make him work a bit so that you're certain he isn'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:39 AM
20

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 09:36 AM
12

He wants to control you. Point blank.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 05:22 PM
4

Men like healthy competition. It won't deter him to know you've got options. Besides, the thing that's more likely to destroy your friendship is you being too available for him (since you're only dating him) and him kicking his feet back and taking you for granted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 12:28 PM
4

"Waaaa, you're hot and I want you but I'm too broke, waaaa, lower your standards pls, waaaaa" 👶🍼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:36 AM
40

I've seen ppl use "if you're over 30, swipe left" too 🤢
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 03:08 AM
18

You can't prove your way into making a man love you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 02:57 AM
3

I haven't had the chance to read through the whole post, but there's some gold in here! And it mirrors my own experience with dating multiple people for the first time (after a past few years of being an awkward pick-me who thought it was unromantic to date multiple people...). Posts like these are exactly why this sub is so amazing. I'm seriously so grateful for our amazing community and how we lift each other up. You're all amazing! 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:18 AM
7

I don't have much dating experience This is why you have a hard time being aloof. Believe me, I get it. As an awkward, introverted, hardworking, busy gal, I've always found apps and rotational dating exhausting. Even just two guys was more than I could handle. But that's because I, as an inexperienced person, put so much thought into each and every message, each and every swipe, each and every detail. The fewer dates you go on, the more you will fixate on each and feel the need to overthink and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/20 01:12 AM
2

If it helps, I once broke things off with a good guy who was not a narcissist but was low value (couldn't get his career together at all, despite financial and emotional support from his amazing family). I felt awful and questioned my decision all the time. However, years later, I don't regret it at all. He's a great guy (we're still long distance friends), but he's not relationship material at all. Trust your gut. Good or not, you broke up with him for a reason and your judgment is perfectly va…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:36 PM
5

Greater emotional intelligence but also society telling women they're incomplete without a man?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:23 PM
15

Absolutely. While I love Disney movies, I probably won't show them to my future kids until they're a bit older and have watched more balanced kids shows. And I feel you on the no-relationship thing. Apart from a few flings, I've been single for a few years and chose to have it that way, because I knew that the BS would derail my emotions and focus on my career and inner work. I'm dating more, but I'm seeing that men just don't have as rich an inner life as myself and my friends...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 03:23 PM
10

So true. It's important to let men propose marriage, so we know they aren't kicking and screaming their way into commitment. The same should be true for relationship status. We just aren't the same as men. Men are far more likely to have commitment issues, in large part due to societal norms and male entitlement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:49 AM
3

All good tips. I had a bad case of oneitis a few weeks ago and, once I got past my bruised ego (from unknowingly being used as a rebound), I realized that I didn't really find him that attractive... or smart. He would not have made the cut if it weren't for a strong first few dates. Re: the photographer pics — are you planning on taking pics in various locales? I'm thinking of doing the same but don't want it to come off as posed or contrived.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:44 AM
3

Omg same! My grandma's a boss, takes no shit, and had the only decent husband out of the lot. I'm hoping this isn't just something that skips a generation and that I can cultivate a good relationship for myself and raise my kids to do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:26 AM
4

Stay strong, sis! You can do it. 🙌 He sounds awful and these are the traits of a covert narcissist, particularly the harem of female friends he keeps on retainer. If given the opportunity, he would act on those connections... You deserve to break the cycle. You deserve someone who will respect you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:23 AM
12

Yes! There's rampant dysfunction among the men and women in my family. They are seriously indoctrinated. Women in my family have openly told me that I should lower my standards and that I'm too fat for any guy to love me (I was a size 10 at my heaviest 🤦🏽). These are women that believe they're doing me a favour but they're all miserable and alone after years of being cheated on and mistreated. I know they're going to pull the same shit with my much younger sister and I'll be damned if I allow th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/20 09:12 AM
3

This! True HVM understand that any worthy partner will not be around for them to just pick up later. Just the assumption that she'll be around for him shows that he thinks she's below him—if he truly saw her as an equal, he'd realize that she's highly sought-after and won't be waiting around pining for him. Edit: if I've learned anything, it's that timing is not a sufficient obstacle when it's real. Men will move mountains if they believe they've found (someone they believe is) a worthy partner,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:26 PM
11

He's the definition of "failing upward". And his "big dick energy" doesn't come from confidence and competence but from male privilege. I'm so glad people aren't hyping him as much anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:17 PM
7

Easy to avoid, too! Like, what is appealing about this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:09 PM
5

I don't get annoyed. I just swipe left since they don't have a basic understanding of scientific classification. This is high school level and easy to retain...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:08 PM
22

Exactly why women should never propose. If a man doesn't choose to enter this arrangement with you, he will resent you and be downright salty for being "forced" to marry you 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 12:00 PM
3

It depends. Some experiences sucked but made me learn a lot, so I wouldn't change anything. However, I learned a lot from an abusive experience and I'd still say it was more bad than good. I'm much wiser, but my confidence is not what it was (the difference before and after is shocking) and I no longer feel comfortable posting openly to social media or communicating in general. Through abuse, I got used to being snapped at and berated if I so much as opened my mouth, so now I hesitate to speak e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:53 AM
17

No way in hell am I exposing myself to possible STIs and pregnancy for sex that will be mediocre, devoid of female oral pleasure, and probably involve dehumanizing treatment. Easy pass. Men have created this situation for themselves. We know they ain't shit and don't want anything to do with them, all because of their own laziness. They played themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:28 AM
9

Watch this "deserving" dude leave her next week...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:21 AM
19

Lol the outfit sounds like it belongs to a literal clown. Those poor dogs. They weren't not living long enough! Jesus H. Christ... 😨 You did well to NOPE out of there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:17 AM
30

There's nothing to miss when he gets the same privileges with none of the responsibility. It's sad how many don't realize this 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:10 AM
22

The sad thing is that the actual cool girl thing to do would be to move on and live your life without a care for the loser you are leaving behind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 11:09 AM
39

The last minute date thing is so disrespectful, shit-test or not. Why can't people just treat others as human beings? Jeez...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/20 03:13 AM
6

I love this. You put this so well: 6) Last but not least-- LVM rage out at women who want meal dates, because they're enraged by our awareness and perception of their nature and methodology. They hate that we know what they are doing, that we know their game better than them, that we know what their intentions are, and most of of all, they hate that we are warning other women about them. They make it about money, when it's really about control. I get a particular joy from honouring my standards,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 10:21 PM
2

Seriously. 2020 is the year that keeps on giving (imo), so I'm gleefully waiting for a dating revolution to happen across the board. 🍿
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:23 PM
4

Lol they really believe we're dumb enough to fall for that... Yeah right!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 07:02 PM
3

Haven't thought about it that way but, having read this, I'd have to agree. I listened to the early episodes for a while but I eventually got turned off and couldn't figure out why. But what you mention — normalizing risky behaviors, talking about the LVM so casually (as if they're fooling themselves into thinking they're okay with it)—just made me uncomfortable. It eventually fell to the bottom of my podcast list where I haven't listened to it since. It doesn't "spark joy" for me at all, so I'm…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 09:32 AM
6

I used to love HIMYM in my pick-me days. Now I can't even bear to watch an episode. Not even for Allison Hannigan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:23 AM
4

You poor thing. Well, the worst is over. Now that you're aware of the problem, you know how which areas you need to work on to avoid those behaviors in the future. Also, thank you for the highly entertaining cringe post. The red flags are a nice touch 👌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:05 AM
33

Yikes. So, I should settle for abusers and guys who ghost? If that's as good as it gets, I'm happy to be single.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 12:00 AM
15

It's not an excuse when Google, YouTube, and Pinterest exist to give tips. I taught myself cooking and sewing in adulthood, and have improved my laundering skills by picking up tips from google. This is them saying they're lazy or stupid—neither of which are flattering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:09 AM
2

For sure! I don't enjoy discussing politics in my off-time (I'm the least preachy political junky you'll ever meet haha) but guys always want to start up a big debate over the same issues, so it's important to be on the same page. I used to shy away from bringing up politics on dates, but now I make it a point to casually ask them where they stand on voting, current events, etc. It has helped me weed out "rawr feminists are destroying society!"-type men as well as Trump apologists. These were of…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:18 AM
26

If you can spend 1+ hours getting all dolled up, he can very well travel to you, sis. My approach is to tell them my terms, not ask them about theirs. I now enjoy dating a lot more, since it no longer depletes me. Days: Don't ask them when they're available. Tell them when you are. Tell them "Saturday works for me :)" and don't budge. Location: tell them "sure, I'd be happy to meet up! I'm downtown". Don't jump to meet them in their sprawled out suburb. They'll either travel to you or not... And…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 11:03 AM
7

I feel like this is a way for guys to emphasize their own fitness (while conveying that they expect you to be fit) without having any kind of formal workout regimen/routine in their life. If they hike once in 6 months, they're "fit and outdoorsy". Well, I'm fit and exercise a lot and you can miss me with that hiking shit. Hiking sucks lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:49 AM
4

I feel this, but with politics. My job is political (and I used to include something generic about voting or me being a political geek in my profile) and the guys that would like me would literally have "swipe left if you like politics" or "it won't work if you like politics at all" on their profile. Like... bruh? Why can't you read? Too busy jackin' it to pay attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:46 AM
9

I was just thinking about this yesterday! Society so readily shames women for their likes/dislikes by labelling them "basic bitches" but no one does this to the scores of men who are into the same boring shit... because men are so varied and interesting, right?!? Wrong. The lies they tell!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:41 AM
4

DAMN. You weren't kidding... I screamed once the link loaded
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:35 AM
6

It really be hard though... 2020 is the first time I've successfully practiced radical self-love and self-acceptance and I still backslide into pickmeisha territory once in a while. Would love a love potion haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 10:25 AM
44

Manipulative/abusive men tear down women who they believe are better than them. He wanted you to think you were unlovable because that was the only way for a LVM like him to keep you. Congrats on the amazing accomplishments! You're doing great! 👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 06:52 PM
26

Lmao did we date the same guy? I had to seriously explain to my ex why some girl saying she could climax from swallowing cum alone was utter bullshit. This self-proclaimed genius insisted it had to be true when 1) she could have been faking it, and 2) there are no erogenous zones connected to the goddamn esophagus.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 02:50 AM
3

Patriarchy Chicken! I love it—totally stealing that term haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 01:11 AM
11

The not moving out of the way thing... I play this game on a daily basis where I'll lock eyes with a man and see how long it takes him to move around me vs. the other way around. When I typically move around someone, I have the courtesy to turn my body to avoid hitting them. But when I play this game, the man never turns their body and I almost (or fully) collide with their shoulder because they couldn't be bothered to move. Each and every time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 12:51 AM
3

If anything, I'm sure some of them will develop petri dish fetishes 😓
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 12:07 AM
3

Thanks for this. Looking back over my relationships, I'm particularly prone to being manipulated through words (probably because I only heard bad comments growing up). This is something I'm learning more about thanks to this sub and I'm ever grateful 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 11:43 AM
6

True queen energy 😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 11:31 AM
16

Never assume. His brother may be covering for him. His brother knowing does not mean the rest of the family knows. I get privacy and I get religious pressures, but a guy who truly cares about you would want to show you off and talk about you to everyone who will listen (including coworkers, friends, etc). How do you feel when you're over the moon about him? You want to show him off, right? If he isn't doing the same—and even gets angry about public things like gifts—that's a bad sign.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 11:14 AM
119

It's because their diet is so bad (meat and starches with no fiber) or because they oh so desperately need their 45 minutes of peace and quiet to play games or watch porn on their phone. They work so hard, don'tcha know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:00 PM
40

Reddit is primarily male and attracts many low value men with degenerate beliefs and interests (like TRP and predatory porn subreddits). Like # MeToo and other things focusing on the female experience, FDS is an "attack on men". 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:54 PM
34

I feel called out! Haha Luckily, I have the self-restraint to not act on my remaining pickmeisha tendencies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:45 PM
7

No, kissing is fine. That's one way to explore chemistry without sleeping with them. I was referring to going all the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 03:30 AM
15

Lol this is so true. It's like a crash course in giving the perfect elevator pitch vs. a substantive report... 😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:08 AM
28

In my experience, that would be a big gamble. You might meet someone where having sex around the 3rd date or 1 month mark might not change things (or might even increase their interest) but that's the exception and not the rule. Men say they are fine with dating a girl whom they've slept with early on but keep in mind... men don't know what they want. I used to have faith that they did, but I've found that their actions will generally contradict what they say they want. It's irrational but human…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:07 AM
31

If they've talked about it in the past, she probably mentioned wanting a different arrangement. Him not wanting to at least compromise with the ratios shows that he doesn't care about hearing her side or about her feelings. As mentioned, resentment can occur and it'll certainly grow when a partner disregards what a person wants. It's less about the math and more about the underlying messages and feelings. He's communicating "your wants don't matter to me."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:54 AM
9

Chiming in to second the sentiment of RUN, don't walk. I experienced this dynamic with a guy and it led to an abusive relationship that still gives me occasional PTSD panic attacks 5 years later. I had to go through tons of therapy to recover and lost out on a lot of time when I could have been dating healthy people. Please get away from this person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 10:07 PM
9

While you didn't wish him happy Valentine's first, I think you still did more work than necessary. It's good that you got wise to his behaviour ahead of V Day. But if you're going to double text anything, text him: "actually nevermind. I made plans since I didn't heard back from you." The reason being that you are far too valuable to accept last-minute, lazy invitations from anyoneand you should never tolerate someone who doesn't value your time enough to communicate (especially via text, since …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:41 AM
9

Not just my mother. The whole damn extended family is toxic. I've been told: "You have bad skin. You should fix that." "You should look after your hair better." "You've gained a lot of weight really quickly." (several years is not quickly) "You should lose weight. No man is going to want you like that." "Maybe your standards are too high" (without even asking about my standards and just assuming that I'm unreasonable) These are just some of the things that have been casually said to my face, whe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:18 AM
2

Hi, very interested. I'll accept PDF and/or EPUB! Please and thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:27 PM
10

This ☝️ Don't fall for it, ladies. Play a game on your phone if you need something to do!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:14 PM
28

I think it's that he's complaining about the KFC container being reused... meanwhile, it's coming from a grown man whose mom still makes his lunches. Complete lack of self-awareness.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 10:50 PM
10

Thanks, that's very true. I keep repeating "talk is cheap. It's about actions" to avoid mooning over him. It's just a lot of wasted energy over the wrong person. And I've definitely been that friend that always listens to someone cry over a LVM. I can relate 😓 I'm just reminding myself that, at the end of the day, I have great friends, I'm happy with my self-development and I get to have my big bed all to myself! Haha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 08:48 PM
3

That's very helpful, actually! Thank you 😊 I no longer go to concerts as much as I want to because my concert-going friends all moved out of town. I think I'm going to try applying your advice and be kind to myself by not judging so much! And yes, safety has been a concern so I'll definitely be staying sober and watching my drink (soda) all the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 06:18 PM
25

I'm really grateful for this community. I normally don't get insecure over Valentine's Day (though I hate how it causes all men to run and hide like they're under siege), but this year is tricky and these posts are much-needed support. I met this guy and, while it's still early (and I don't have illusions of it being serious or exclusive), I thought he at least respected me enough to not play with my feelings by flaking/not confirming our date and acting weird all week. This was a guy I really c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 06:13 PM
14

On Valentine's too. How romantic...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:58 PM
14

It'll be ready when the Skip the Dishes driver gets there. Women don't just cook on demand.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:58 PM
3

Any tips on not seeming awkward at events? I'm good once conversation gets going, but I feel so weird when I get there and right before introducing myself/talking to someone. Would love to start going to more events alone, since most of my friends are naysayers, homebodies... and partners can't be counted on for shit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:43 PM
1

Yaaas! 👏 That's my plan tonight! Not sad about it either
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 11:48 AM
2

This is exactly what I'm doing. Gonna buy myself flowers and chocolates 🥰
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:28 AM
1

We've all been there once. Live and learn!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 01:30 AM
37

Oof. I needed to see this. Thanks for the post, OP. I don't dote on people anymore but I can fall back into those patterns if I'm not careful about prioritizing my self-care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:00 PM
3

Oof. That last paragraph is too true. Sad thing is, my guy was all about "I'm all in when I'm seeing someone" and then pulls this shit. I nearly believed him too. They really do 100% know and it's very indicative of how they are as a person. Talk is cheap. Worst of all, it shows you how dumb they think you are, that you'll just take them back after. But fuuuuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 04:26 PM
11

That's been my experience as well. A few weeks ago, I joked to my friends that Valentine's Day is Straight Man Disappearing Act season. They're so scared of a day that, for most women, is just about picking a chill activity and sharing $10 chocolates. I've been seeing (what I thought was) a HVM for just under a month. He's been kind, chatty, etc. up to this point and I've done nothing to drastically change our vibe. Suddenly he's been standoffish all week and has only tentatively confirmed our F…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 12:12 PM
98

Consent, what the fuck is that, right? Fuck respecting others if it helps you get your peepee up 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:53 AM
2

I love these profiles. I get a good laugh and get the satisfaction of reporting their fraudulent asses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 11:46 AM
6

Exactly. Gotta spin it so that it sounds playful and non-threatening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 12:30 AM
13

Nah, you'd be surprised how delusional some people are. They probably think they're being edgy and interesting... Gross.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:06 PM
5

Horrifying. I want to wretch 🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/02/20 06:03 PM
30

Bringing all those people in to witness what was a difficult moment for you... none of that was necessary. Why is the screening process so dysfunctional?! Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:11 AM
46

It's crazy how much male doctors will chalk up female pain to being sexually active, gaining weight (even if it's in a healthy range), and similar things. I got bullshit diagnoses for years until I switched to a female doctor and female psych, whom are both amazing. I don't care if I have to wait weeks for an appointment with either, I'm never changing!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/20 01:08 AM
2

Thanks! I'll try to keep this mindset :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 09:15 PM
8

I've always been uncomfortable with giving my number to OLD guys and have been told by men and women that I was just being paranoid and overly cautious, so I'm glad to see that FDS recognizes this as a bad tactic too. How would you go about declining the request for a number in a lighthearted, friendly way? I've told guys that I had bad experiences with cell numbers but it tends to kill the conversation or make the guy keep pushing for the number (which I now realize is a red flag in itself).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:35 PM
3

Yeah, my family is super backwards and old school. Women do all the event organizing, cooking, and cleaning. The men sit around and get drunk. Yet we're "equal" 🙄 My male cousins have never had good relationships but never get told to lower their standards, lose weight, get hitched, and have babies, but I've been hearing about it since I turned 25... they don't even realize that I haven't brought a serious partner around for years on purpose. I've been a black sheep since I was a preteen simply …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 06:14 PM
25

Uuuuugh fucking Sid. He wasn't good enough for either Cassie or Michelle.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 05:53 PM
20

So I guess he doesn't have arms and couldn't move it himself? Da fuck you mean 😂😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 05:46 PM
5

large social issue going on Otherwise known as the patriarchy, which is still alive and well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 08:51 PM
7

It really doesn't mean shit! Have I noticed the eye issue that commentor is talking about? Sure. Does it make her any less gorgeous? Absolutely not. In fact, it adds a nice quirk to her beauty. It makes her human and that's attractive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 08:43 PM
39

Not just bodies, but hair and skin! I will legit cry tears of joy if I ever meet a guy who values their skin and skin health enough to have a basic fucking skincare routine! That's how low the bar is set in society... Most of these guys don't wear sunscreen, so forget about them even moisturizing. This is basic skincare. I'm seeing 29yo guys on OLD who look 10 years older but want a woman who "takes care of herself". That's assuming they aren't blatantly lying about their age because they are "y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 08:35 PM
23

Your own damn self, or your friends! Tons of people neglect their friendships in relationships when doing the opposite might actually save that couple from going insane and breaking up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 06:01 PM
17

Damn, this is so real.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 04:29 AM
3

It comes across as early-stage love bombing for sure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:40 PM
24

So why do you want his attention? You've got more to offer than he does and he's not even being respectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/19 07:36 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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