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meri-dian Archive

View 2 posts and 150 comments by meri-dian on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

Letting go of what I can't control. Cleaning up my side of things.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/15 06:02 AM
2

I was always a seeker, then at one point anti-religious. I am quite spiritual now. My husband is agnostic.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/15 06:01 AM
1

My advice: stay away from TRP and all the other male RP stuff until you get what RPW is all about on its own and how RPW fits into your life. They are really two different things.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/15 08:52 AM
1

Don't let it define you. This is the key.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/15 08:48 AM
1

See this post I wrote a couple months ago. Hopefully it will help. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/15 08:47 AM
1

Welcome. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/15 08:37 AM
1

Practice smiling. It really works. It's amazing how often I find my expression defaulting to "resting bitch mode" (a great phrase) -- or even worse, I'm contorting my face in anger, irritation, dumbfoundedness or just plain stress. I started doing this on a regular basis and it has now become a habit for me - especially on my commute to/from work, and definitely at work. It's made a huge difference, and I honestly never thought it would.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/15 08:34 AM
3

I'm bi. I don't see why not.
/r/RedPillWomen09/05/15 09:08 PM
1

I like the sounds of it!
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/15 10:21 PM
1

Both of your questions are stated in controlling terms. You don't get a man to do anything. You don't make a man do anything. RPW don't control or change their men. You need to look at how your behaviour is contributing to whatever issue displeases you. Read The Surrendered Wife. It's a quick read, and yet immensely powerful, outlining a number of ways for you to behave which will encourage a loving RP relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 11:10 PM
2

This is great advice.
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 11:06 PM
1

I usually mention something casual within the first few minutes of a conversation such as "my husband and I enjoy that as well", or "I was just talking to my husband about that this morning".
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 03:12 AM
1

What?!? I'm not a special snowflake!?! ;)
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 03:06 AM
1

Let's see... Bitchy attitude, defensive, taking everything personally, assuming (mind-reading), blaming (lack of personal responsibility), passive-aggressiveness ("nothing" is wrong, dismissive body language, expecting others to read my mind, inappropriate sarcasm), acting entitled, raising my voice (loud!), right fighting... I could go on and on forever....
/r/RedPillWomen05/05/15 03:05 AM
0

Lift, Labor, Lead
/r/askTRP03/05/15 04:08 AM
0

The same reason men like it.
/r/askTRP03/05/15 03:40 AM
6

Are you seriously trying to sell your own product? I'm no moderator, but I would hope that wasn't allowed here.
/r/RedPillWomen03/05/15 03:39 AM
1

Yes.
/r/PurplePillDebate02/05/15 07:33 AM
1

It would depend on if it were the master who freed him.
/r/TheRedPill02/05/15 07:17 AM
7

Why not just tell him how you're feeling, then? It doesn't seem he has told you that you aren't welcome. Explain you would like to attend the funeral out of support for the wife.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 07:01 AM
3

You've received a lot of good advice here from Endorsed Women. I won't repeat any of it, except to say you need to be really sure you are not settling or setting yourself up for future resentment. As many of the women here said, this is far from easy and I'm sorry you're having to make this decision. It is obvious you are an intelligent and thoughtful person and I wish you the best. Please keep us updated.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 06:22 AM
2

Beautifully written.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 06:07 AM
6

you seem to be more attached to the idea of marriage than you are to him. Or she's attached to her traditional values as a RPW should be.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 06:06 AM
4

But what's the most frustrating is as a good woman you end up destroyed by these horrible women too. They destroy your dreams and chance at the future you so desired and have lived a good life just to prepare for. This is a choice, not a destiny. If you chose to let your dreams be destroyed by your SO's history, so be it. But don't pretend that it's anything but a choice.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:58 AM
1

No, I don't have a dress code, nor would I even remotely be OK with such a thing. I will dress (or wear my hair, makeup, etc) the majority of the time in a way I believe will please him, based on comments he's made in the past. His preference, for instance, is that I don't wear any makeup because he finds makeup to be unattractive. So, for the most part I don't wear makeup - most especially when I'm with him. He isn't religious, so that part of your question doesn't apply.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:44 AM
3

Does your husband actually say he doesn't want you there, or are you assuming because he doesn't ask you to attend?
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:36 AM
3

Everybody has a career of some sort, work or is at least expected to have some steady income of its own. Not necessarily, if they are in a traditional marriage. We are in the RPW sub. Many RPWs want to be a stay-at-home mother and wife. They have specifically not invested in post-secondary education because they want to live a traditional life. Or, if they do have post-secondary education, they still do not build or develop a career and instead opt to stay at home and raise their family. They do…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:29 AM
3

Men don't just leave their wives for no reason. Yes they do. I'm not saying if it's the majority or minority, but people leave their spouses for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with the other person. I'm sure you could argue with me and say that any person who would leave isn't "alpha" or wasn't deserving of the relationship in the first place, or there must have been red flags. However, there are two reasons this doesn't fly. 1, people change - spending a decade or two together could…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:20 AM
4

Because that's not necessarily what OP wants. :)
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:08 AM
3

Possibly, there are some funny (not so much entertaining, more along the lines of downright odd) ideas that I see from time to time - and they tend to bounce between two extremes. The first being that RPW's are supposed to just be 'Yes Sir'-ing all day every day, regardless of what their SO/H decides, and the other is that RPW's are really only 'pretending' to respect/defer to their SO/H (and can at anytime just decide to do whatever they want). And this is why I really enjoy your posts, /u/Phan…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 05:04 AM
2

I was you. You can do this. I feel as if he'd be better off without me but at the same time I want to change so badly for him. Then change. It's hard work, but if you really love him and really want to do it: START. Take action. Should I just let him go? I'll take the opposite position of a lot of people here and say "NO". Cuz guess what? They see how defeated you are and don't think you deserve him. However, I don't care if you deserve him or not. It's not for me to say. But if you really love …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:47 AM
2

I want to show my love and appreciation for him without just saying 'I love you'. What are other things that I can say or do to show my affection? The best answer to this is: give him what he wants. I used to think that I should do for my husband what I would want. This was a huge mistake, obviously. Many posters have mentioned "The Language of Love" and finding out what his preference is, and that did help me. However, the biggest thing that helped me was to actually listen to him. He would tel…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:36 AM
0

I guess I'm asking if you were in my position, would you bring it up or would you just let things play out as they will? It really doesn't seem as if this is necessary. Just because people around you keep bringing it up doesn't mean he's even thinking about it. And, as /u/Aine_of_knockaine stated, the way he responded to the question with "soon" seems very non-committal and probably intended to just stop the nosey questions.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:26 AM
3

Congrats on all the strides you've made!! Online dating wasn't really working for me but I might come back to it. I met my husband through an online dating site. However, it was back in the late 90's and things were a LOT different. When my husband and I separated for a time, both of us tried online dating. I found it incredibly humiliating. 1st, the internet is SWAMPED with online dating services. 2nd, signing up for more than one was just overwhelming. 3rd, the free sites seemed like complete …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:21 AM
1

Incredible, thanks for sharing! I loved the book. I wish there was a workbook.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:13 AM
1

This is all very good advice. Vipassana is a wonderful idea. The fact that it was free blew me away and I was skeptical. But it changed my life.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:11 AM
1

So in summary, I will be unable to make a relationship work until I feel better and get my life together right? You can't give to someone else until you can stand on your own two feet. with my condition it might even take another 10 years This type of thinking isn't helpful. Instead, think about how you can improve each and every day. Tomorrow you will be better off than you are today. I might as well give up on the idea of marriage. That's a choice. Who's gonna want a 38 y/o woman when there ar…
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 04:04 AM
1

Even though you have been on meds for 9 years, what you share here seems to illustrate these meds are not working for you.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 03:56 AM
2

How can a person with a mental illness get a LTR? By not identifying so strongly with her mental illness that she believes that's all she is, for instance: I'm 28 and have BPD, severe depression and anxiety issues. But who else are you? Because that's not it, I'm sure. It might very well feel like it is on those days when the illness rears its ugly head and overwhelms. However, you are more than that. You have a personality, dreams, desires, wants, needs, hobbies, interests, skills. You are not …
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 03:50 AM
2

My husband doesn't even own a cell phone, so that's not part of our repertoire. However, even if he did, I wouldn't. I just don't feel it's appropriate. I would use it for flirting (we do this with email), but nothing overtly sexual - and definitely not photos.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 03:12 AM
1

Thanks. I attend a lot of gatherings and events without my SO. This is helpful.
/r/RedPillWomen02/05/15 01:47 AM
2

Thank you. I have had the opposite reaction, and have wondered how to handle it with poise, as opposed to bring aggressive. Poise is something I am actively trying to improve.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 09:18 PM
2

Thanks, Camille. This is along the lines of what I thought, but could you expand on how you would actually "let him know" you aren't available and not interested? I was looking for more specific examples of words you might use.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 09:16 PM
3

I would think letting a man know you're taken Beyond this, though. Many men either don't care, or they see this as a challenge. While I understand it is easier to deal with when your SO is near you and you can easily introduce them as such, this isn't always the case. Yes, you can excuse yourself, with poise. However, there are cases when even avoiding doesn't work. Just because you act with poise doesn't mean the other party will follow suit.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 08:31 PM
13

Thanks for the great FR. Good for you for taking on the all-important task of being accountable and acting to change your behaviors. I also appreciate that you did this without expectations you would win back your SO. While it is a blessing (congrats!) you were able to rekindle the relationship, you found it important to change for your own well-being and overall happiness!
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 08:20 PM
6

I think the point of this article was to show it doesn't really work.
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 08:04 PM
3

What is the RPW way to deal with this?
/r/RedPillWomen01/05/15 08:00 PM
6

Go to /r/redpillwomen and read the sidebar.
/r/askTRP30/04/15 11:57 PM
14

She's a great writer.
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/15 11:56 PM
1

Thanks
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/15 03:54 PM
2

RMV ?? I've never heard this before, what is it?
/r/RedPillWomen30/04/15 03:35 AM
1

thanks!!
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/15 03:43 PM
1

Anyone have a suggestion for an Android irc app?
/r/RedPillWomen25/04/15 02:28 AM
13

Only you can make this decision. It's far too big a decision to leave up to a bunch of strangers, no matter if you identify with them or not. I've cheated and I've been cheated on. "Once a cheater, always a cheater" is a common refrain but means absolutely nothing. I never cheated again, or even thought of cheating. And, guess what, the guy who cheated on me never cheated again. Anyhow, you need to figure out why he cheated. If the reasons are only to do with him, you'll have to figure out if yo…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 11:11 PM
1

Men can have a multitude of "logical" reasons for not getting married. But the fact is, love is not logical. He can also makes his SO suffer for last relationships, neo-feminism or the possibility of bring divorce raped. But, he's only punishing the person he loves (if she DOES want to get married) for absolutely no reason. Its not fair. If we continually start relationships based on fear, punishing those relationships in any way for things that have nothing to do personally with the person we j…
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 09:42 PM
1

Veterinary
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 09:17 PM
2

Relationships and love have little to do with logic.
/r/RedPillWomen19/04/15 09:14 PM
2

Mulan is my favorite. (RPW here)
/r/TRPOffTopic18/04/15 01:20 AM
1

My first wedding was a 15- guest affair, and I would have preferred even smaller. My second wedding was a planned elopement to Niagara Falls. I've never been interested in big weddings. Marriage (to me) is about 2 people, and their commitment to one another. I would definitely like to do a renewal of vows (only hubby and I) - especially since we have recommitted to one another after a separation and a lot of therapy and change.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 01:15 AM
5

No sex until you are exclusive. And I wouldn't have that conversation just yet. Don't be nervous, and have fun!!
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 12:38 AM
1

I have the same opinion, so you're not alone. Too early for exclusive talk. And too early for sex.
/r/RedPillWomen18/04/15 12:37 AM
3

After reading the entire thread I do have to say that female-dominated fields definitely do not pay as well as other "equal" (or higher) work fields which are equally split by gender. The field I work in (now) is female dominated, and for the amount of education, skill and responsibility, we get paid CRAP.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 11:18 PM
4

I find this difficult to believe. My husband works with all men in a STEM related field and says the MAJORITY of the men are huge whiners. He has stated that when he worked with women in other fields ( he has worked in the military his entire life, but in various capacities) they whined LESS about their jobs (but MORE about their personal lives).
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 11:12 PM
3

I think a lot of these are First World Problems. I also think that they are less about women in general, and more about just how cruel some people can be to other people.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 11:03 PM
2

Know yourself. I find this really important. It might seem vague, but if you know yourself, then you will know what you want, what's important, and what to fight for. Being able (and knowing WHEN) to surrender a mate actually requires a lot of strength and surety. It's not easy, nor is it weak. Being self-assured and confident is important, too. Knowing not to take things personally is very difficult when you are insecure. Obviously these are character traits to build, and not practical skills..…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:59 PM
4

Yes, it is rude. But don't take it personally. Bitches be bitches. Just be the best you. If you find it rude, then your SO probably does, too. Don't bother pointing it out to him (cuz that's just another form of trying to control him). Trust he'll see the rudeness and walk away. If he doesn't, you don't want him.
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:52 PM
5

And he may see you as a 10 and her as a 7..... He's with you, right? looking at her makes me wonder what he's doing with me The best thing to do is just keep working on you. Looks like you've got some insecurities about yourself.... And as with all things, we can't control the other person (ie. There's nothing you can do about her interest in your BF or her SMV), but you can work on you!
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:48 PM
2

The answer is: yes. That's why it's our sexual strategy. :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:39 PM
5

If I'm ready for commitment and he expressly isn't, I put him in a sort of 'male-plate-zone'. He is welcome to ask me on a date, take me out, enjoy my time and get a taste of what could be, but he won't get my full vulnerability or my sex I really find it interesting that so many automatically jump to "this is manipulation" on this sub, yet if your were a man on TRP, it would be thought of as "good game". Any of these strategies we use (both TRP and RPW) can be seen as manipulative. But that doe…
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:32 PM
1

Thanks for the update. I was wondering about you. If you ever want to talk about the book, send me a PM..
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 10:12 PM
3

There's not a lot of info in your post, so it's very difficult to advise you. From what you're saying, and the way you're saying it, it almost seems as though there were no problems in your marriage before your husband found TRP... ? I find that a little hard to believe.... No marriages are without problems... Obviously he's working on his side of things (or, so it seems, since he's engaged in TRP). So, you need to clean up your side of the street. Where can you make some improvements? You say y…
/r/RedPillWomen15/04/15 07:11 AM
11

Hmm. I blow my SO away in games. But he seems to like that.
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/15 04:58 AM
3

Well then, I'm really glad I posted. I was exhausted last night, halfway into a heavy work week and battling a bad flu... But something told me to post anyhow. :) I might also mention that a few years ago I would have never had the humility to post this... Would have been too ashamed or fearful of being vulnerable or looked at as weak. While I know this is an anonymous medium, I would share this openly with anyone who'd care to listen IRL, too. Times they are a changin'. :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/15 12:55 PM
2

Hi. I'm an INFJ. I love Meyers Briggs and am now on the hunt to find that thread!
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/15 03:04 AM
7

Apologies go a long way, especially if you are actively changing your behavior and your partner sees the change. I really did not know how to deal with any disagreement with my partner, and neither did he. We did a lot of learning, and we always kept talking, even if was in circles. Therapy helped us a lot. I'll give you an example of my temper just this past weekend.... I had a horrible flu, and I hadn't been able to sleep for almost 48 hours. Every time I would lay back, I couldn't breathe, wo…
/r/RedPillWomen09/04/15 02:34 AM
1

Lots of great ideas here... But one we think is very important is PAY YOURSELF FIRST. Every month so much of our income goes directly into savings of various kinds. We save monthly for our retirement, for instance, even tho we only put that into RRSPs once a year. A good book that talks more about this is The Wealthy Barber.... Older book, but was brand new when I was your age and in your shoes....
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:51 AM
3

Tempest makes a good point. We are well off financially because of what we DON'T spend. We don't have a mortgage or loans - nor do we keep a balance on our credit cards. And we have savings..... And it's because of what we DON'T buy... And because we stick to our budget. We never make impulsive purchases. We always research what we want to buy. We always price shop and look at sale trends before we buy. We buy long-term warranties for big purchases (this has saved our ass a lot). We do without o…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:45 AM
2

I'm not the person who suggested this, but we keep all receipts in my household. It's part of our budget. We have a detailed budget outlined in a spreadsheet. We then keep track of our spending in each area to see where we've gone over/under in each category. Then we can reevaluate and see where changes need to be made. It keeps us honest and realistic.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:35 AM
1

convert the price into how many hours you have to work to earn the money to buy it, I do this often. I will divide the price by my hourly wage (or by the sum of my husband's and my hourly wage if it's an it for us both) and it is usually the best way to figure out just how important it is to me/us.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:29 AM
3

I listened for just over 2 mins. It sounds like many a TRP post reads, and therefore my view isn't important since TRP is a men's group and I'm not a man. If you were asking about a video or article written by a RPW, I'd be happy to share. :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:23 AM
8

Men might not be disgusted by insecurity, but they definitely don't like their judgment being questioned all the time. If I continually ask my husband if he has feelings for someone else, or tell him I'm insecure about his relationship with a friend of his (especially if he has already assured me he is committed to ME), then I am out of line. I'm not trusting him, his feelings for me or his commitment to me -- and that is disrespectful.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 01:59 AM
1

Just ask if the makeover is free or if you're obligated to buy product. Yes, they'll try to sell you something after the fact, but don't feel obligated. If they give you samples and you like them, then you can go back and buy.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 01:32 AM
1

There isn't a thing here I don't agree with, and quite a few of them I'd wished I'd known ahead of time, because they came up and slapped me in the face. Most notably: sex on the back burner, getting too comfortable, oversharing negative thoughts. We've had small problems with a couple of the other topics, but the three above have been biggies. Luckily, finances has been something we very rarely fight about, as we decided on a financial agreement from the moment we moved in together and it has b…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 01:08 AM
2

Your insecurity is YOUR issue, not his. I don't know what he's going to say in person, but he has already said, in many ways, through action and word, that he is with YOU and only you, and there is nothing to worry about in regards to his ex. he even complimented me the next day on how well I handled myself with her and he really liked it. He told me he understands how seeing her name could be a turn off but I just need to remove any uncertainty about her. and... I told him I could if I just kne…
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 12:56 AM
3

This type of article just pits men and women against one another, which is obvious, since the title includes "Battle of the Sexes". It also is full of generalities. A relationship between TWO people shouldn't include generalities or be about competition. That's why I have a problem with neo-feminism - it separates and divides. I have no desire to talk about what divides us. I want to focus on similarities or how we complement one another.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 12:33 AM
4

This is good advice for any big topic in a relationship - too many people talk too little about the things that are important..
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 12:21 AM
3

He said that he doesn't really think about the future, and you said: I'm just hurt because I think about it all the time, and I hoped that it would have at least crossed his mind. This isn't something to take personally. Him not thinking about the future has nothing to do with you personally. He did not state "I never think about the future WITH YOU". He is just making a general statement. Don't be hurt by comments that aren't specific. If we start assuming something about an innocent statement,…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/15 11:59 PM
2

I don't wear makeup at all. My husband does not like it. However, I used to wear makeup, and I would recommend getting a couple makeovers from various sources. Many makeup companies or department stores with makeup counters offer free makeovers. Go in and ask a lot of questions. You said: I'd also prefer a routine that doesn't take an absurd amount of time, and looks fairly natural. So make sure to tell them that. Remember they are all wanting to sell you product, and that's why I recommend goin…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/15 11:42 PM
12

I can't give you a RPW answer, because I don't know that there is one... However... I don't believe kids are a requirement in marriage, because even marriage isn't a requirement any longer. Marriage is more about the couple solidifying their commitment to one another, and that's the way I've always seen it. As an RPW, I can tell you that the reason I didn't have children was because my husband didn't want them. I had to decide if I wanted him, or I wanted to move on and find someone else to have…
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/15 11:37 PM
2

Another definition for warlock is traitor or oath-breaker....
/r/TheRedPill04/04/15 07:06 PM
1

Ask him. I'm pretty sure he will have some ideas.
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/15 03:23 AM
11

The RP answer to this is: do what your husband wishes. :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/04/15 12:43 AM
1

she's more worried about how a maid might judge her and her lifestyle or something, so she doesn't want it. This. Exactly the reason most women don't want to hire cleaners... Completely ridiculous but true.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/03/15 08:58 PM
1

Historically and in cultures where sex is saved for marriage, there is lower divorce rates and happier couples. Can you expand on this to say if sex is saved for marriage for women, men or both? Because it really makes a big difference in the outcome.... Edit: typos
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/15 07:34 PM
2

And why are you telling us this?
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/15 04:28 AM
3

I read your post before it was deleted. I had no reply because there was never a clear intention in the post.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/15 04:11 AM
1

No. Not at all. In fact, many are rather cool.
/r/RedPillWomen29/03/15 11:03 PM
1

The two have nothing to do with each other.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/03/15 06:53 PM
1

This makes me curious.... what tv shows are RP-approved?
/r/MarriedRedPill29/03/15 05:47 PM
0

You made me LOL!!!!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 05:50 PM
1

Don't all people (not just females) want validation? The only male I can think of that wouldn't would be a Sigma, in my estimation.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 06:50 AM
1

the feminist nature of many sites (e.g. Tumblr and Buzzfeed) I don't know anything about Tumblr or Buzzfeed, but would be interested to know what this means....
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 06:48 AM
1

The best thing we ever did was come to an agreement about finances before we even moved in together. And, come to think of it, the agreement was all his idea. ;)
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 06:17 AM
2

So I've been thinking, what does a good strategy look like for a woman? Some of the strategies are the same. * Be accountable for/work on my own shit * Improve myself * Surrender control (this includes: no nagging, no expectations, allow my SO to do it his way... if it isn't important to him, then let it go) * Be feminine, flirty, cute (in a genuine way) * Trust implicitly * State what I want, don't ask -- with no expectations * Never reject a sexual advance * Defer to him with decisions Can a w…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 06:10 AM
1

It works if a woman uses it on a BP.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 05:44 AM
2

This. Is what I'd want my husband to do. He decides the event and it's something HE likes.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/03/15 05:30 AM
3

If you give him advice, you'll sound like his mother. Instead, if he asks for your advice, put it back in his court and ask him what he thinks he should do.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:29 AM
13

Don't assume he's feeling emasculated. I just finished the chapter in "The Surrendered Wife" that said we shouldn't be trying to solve problems for our SOs - especially those that only exist because we're trying to mindread.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:27 AM
2

My sister posted this on Facebook today. I immediately thought of redpill and RPW, and smiled.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:19 AM
2

Niiiiiiiiiiiice! I've never seen GWTW, so that was a complete surprise to me. Makes me think perhaps we should watch some good, old-fashioned movies together!! Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:12 AM
2

Thanks for your reply! I, also, have a chronic illness. I'm so lucky that I came into a remission of sorts a few years back and was able to go back to school and now work P/T. The illness was a big burden on our marriage, especially because I played the victim a lot instead of standing up, owning my stuff, and doing what I could to fight back against it. I love the idea of doing projects together. We actually used to share an office, many years back. We had our desks facing each other (actually …
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:09 AM
1

Yes, she was terrific. Both of us really liked her, and she worked with us both individually and together as a couple. We would go back to her in a heartbeat!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:04 AM
1

If it wasn't for that marriage counsellor, we wouldn't still be together. :)
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:03 AM
1

He likes computers, science, math, reading, pets, nature, gaming. He wants to be more creative and has dabbled in learning music (lately keyboard), drawing and even poetry. He does a lot of home DIY, but doesn't really like it - he does it because he doesn't trust hiring people to do it for us. :) He likes movies, but watches them sparingly. He doesn't commit to a TV unless it's a sitcom. No, he gets stressed out being so serious all the time. He often says he wishes he could just let things go …
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 04:02 AM
1

What a neat idea! I'm in Canada, so I can't get that specific box, but I will look for something like that. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 03:56 AM
1

LOL! That's awesome. I think I'll pick up a couple this weekend!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 03:55 AM
2

Thank you, and the ideas don't sound silly at all. I like where you were going with the task-oriented ideas. My husband is very task-oriented, so that may just be the thing. All your ideas were great!
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 03:55 AM
1

Thank you for posting the instructable for the beside the fridge rolling shelf!
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/15 02:24 AM
1

"Bitchy resting face" is the perfect term for this! I have this, as well. Thank you for giving me the idea of practicing smiling on a regular basis. I've been trying to do this with my SO this week, but after reading your post, I think it's probably just a good thing to practice in general.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/15 02:17 AM
4

Hi ladies. I started posting just a few days back, and started with a question. Thank you all for your comments, advice, questions and help! I am not only a newbie to TRP and RPW, but I'm new to reddit. This will age me, but it reminds me of Bulletin Board Systems (BBSes) back in the the 80s, pre-Internet. I wish I'd joined years ago, but for some reason it didn't appeal to me. Maybe because I was already enamoured with Facebook. I'm no longer enamoured with Facebook. Recently I've felt quite am…
/r/RedPillWomen25/03/15 12:15 AM
4

That is one of my favourite quotes!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 04:04 PM
1

Married RPW-newbie here. Antidepressants definitely can effect sex drive. Orgasmic dysfunction can also occur, making it difficult or impossible to achieve an orgasm. There are medications which can help, as long as they don't produce their own side effects. I was on one of these medications not only for low-libido, but also because I was anorgasmic. It solved both problems. However, it gave me excruciating migraines, so I could not continue.
/r/MarriedRedPill24/03/15 07:56 AM
2

Thanks! Very good advice. I get sucked into this less often than I used to, but more often than I would like.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 07:11 AM
1

That makes sense. I was speaking from an experience I had with a friend who basically would say everything she thought. She really had no filter, and it was mostly out of anxiety that she did this. She feared any pause in conversation and needed to fill it. Lots of other great advice here. Good luck!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 07:09 AM
1

Thank you. I am going to work on this a little each day. I have started to take better care of myself (outwardly) this week and have started with small touches here and there, and a lot more smiling and eye contact in general. I know, in the past, I haven't approached rekindling intimacy in steps, and my husband reacted poorly (as mentioned in other posts by other RPWs, he is distrusting of my touch). I will also try to think of some things to do for him (eg. Coffee). I could definitely make his…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 07:05 AM
1

I had no idea what it meant either, so I googled it... Maybe you don't want to know.... http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=keeping+your+pimp+hand+strong
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 06:55 AM
41

we said some vows and yadda yadda yadda. Wow! This here is a huge red flag to me. If I heard my SO speak this way about a commitment ceremony I would feel extremely hurt. This statement lacks respect.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 06:44 AM
11

I'm new to RPW, so keep that in mind, and I'm sure someone will correct me if I am giving advice that isn't in line with RPW.... Thoughts are just that - thoughts. We can't control our thoughts. It's what we DO with those thoughts that matters. If you are truly committed to someone, these thoughts shouldn't lead to anything except the next thought "That's not appropriate or respectful to my SO.". Dismiss the thought and move on. If you require action in order to let go off that thought, take an …
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 06:38 AM
4

No, it's doesn't 'just happen.' That's exactly the kind of thinking that we warn against on this sub. The ladies here need to put a stop to any kind of 'reasoning' that amounts to "well, it just happened" and "I didn't mean to" because it absolves them of responsibility and encourages a continuing pattern of thoughtless mistakes Would this be considered a form of "hamstering"? The whole "brush it off, life is all about mistakes" attitude leads to a lot of people making really poor decisions. Thi…
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 06:15 AM
7

Lying is not something we encourage or promote to users here. Accountability is a big part of being a RPW, and if a woman has made mistakes she doesn't just get to sweep them under the rug and lie to men. That kind of manipulation is unacceptable Thank you for this. It is something I needed to hear.
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 06:06 AM
2

1
/r/askTRP23/03/15 04:00 AM
3

Do you have problems meeting people, or do you have problems building friendships? For me, it's a little of the first, but a lot of the second. To meet people, I took classes, joined various groups, etc. I thought about my interests and started doing online searches for those interests in my areas. I found a bunch of things that peaked my interest and started attending things once in awhile to get a feel for them. And it's amazing just how many things are free or don't cost much. A good place to…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/15 07:35 PM
1

Train yourself to count to 10 before you speak. You might think this is a long time. It is. What it is doing is actually not allowing you to say much of anything. This will begin training you not to say everything that pops in your head. Eventually it will allow you to be a better listener. At first all you're going to be doing it listening to yourself saying "one, two, three, four, five.. oh my god this is forever, six, seven, wow I can't believe how long ten seconds is, eight, nine, ten". By t…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/15 07:12 PM
12

You value the opinions of your friends or family more than your husband's. This is one that I find myself slipping into most often, and it has more to do with typical "men bashing" than anything. I'll be upset about something that happened, I'll go to vent about it (talking about what he did wrong), and then it turns into a man-bashing session. It took me a long time to see how damaging this was to my marriage, and my respect for my husband. Those "sessions" never focused on anything positive, a…
/r/RedPillWomen22/03/15 05:32 PM
2

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I can't answer questions about time. However, I don't think anyone is too old to fall in love or find a partner - and it's probably a lot easier to figure out what you want and don't want in a partner when you have the age and experience. What should you be focusing on? What you can and can't control. You can't control your age. You can, however, focus on keeping yourself healthy & fit. You can't control your RA-diagnosis. But, again, you can focus on doin…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 10:52 PM
1

at least TRPs admit they have resentment and anger against women, have figured it out, and are doing something to change it. Most men aren't even close to that aware.
/r/PurplePillDebate21/03/15 09:08 PM
1

What a great idea: to practice consciously fantasizing about him. Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 06:45 PM
1

I absolutely love this post. Thank you for sharing. I am saving it for the times I get frustrated, to inspire me to reframe.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 06:24 PM
1

Thank you!
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 03:20 AM
1

I feel as thought I've already apologized a lot. Some of those apologies were total crap. But then about 3 years ago my apology was followed by various actions. After finally finishing school and then starting this job, I feel I need to pull up my bootstraps in other areas. Should I continue apologizing? Or perhaps be more specific in my apology (regarding what I am currently working on)... eg: I am sorry for not doing more of the housework and am taking action to change that. ?? Is that what yo…
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 01:55 AM
2

Thanks! I hope so, too. I did an extra hour of household work today before my afternoon shift, and did two specific tasks my spouse mentioned before he left for his afternoon shift. Thanks to everyone for all your comments. It has helped me to reframe myself.
/r/RedPillWomen21/03/15 01:47 AM
2

I'm not defensive. I'm answering your question asking what I was hoping for in posting here.... Motivation, support, guidance, direction.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:57 PM
3

Thank you. This may very well help me to be more accountable, as well. Sometimes I think I am being consistent, but it is better to have concrete evidence written in front of me. Thank you. I sometimes feel I do too much for myself... But here lately I realize I'm engaging in pursuits that aren't really fulfilling... And spending way to much time at them. I am trying to change that by finding something I really enjoy, but doing it in shorter blocks of time.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:43 PM
3

Yes I can see what you mean and agree with it. Thank you.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:37 PM
2

I was hoping for suggestions on WHERE to start. There is a huge long laundry list of things that need to be done to improve my relationship, but it becomes so overwhelming that I get stuck and don't know where to start. Motivation is a huge reason, too. Having a group of people who I can relate to and can help guide me.... Isn't that the reason for this sub? I have done a lot. I'm not scared of the work. I get tired and I fumble and then I feel a little lost and have to find my way back. I alrea…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:35 PM
1

Yes, I have been t thinking a lot lately about getting back to the gym. Once again I need action instead of thought! I will start today.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:02 PM
3

Thank you for your post. I will try all of these. I spent a long time reading this sub last night (and the sidebar) and realize it's just what I have been looking - and that I'm ready for it.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 04:01 PM
1

Oh we are both aware of the damage. We have been working on things for a number of years. We went to couples therapy for a long time. We also both went to individual therapy. I have changed a great deal in the past few years. He really wanted me to work. I went back to school, finished with honors, and got a job immediately. It has done wonders for my self-esteem and he has been quite pleased with that change. I have made several other changes he has asked for, as well. Many times I get emotiona…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 03:59 PM
2

I definitely need to do more around the house to keep things clean. I will add a couple household tasks to my day. I already drop everything to greet him when he gets home, but we don't have any physical contact anymore and when I try to initiate a hug or kiss he stiffens up like a board and/or backs away. Should I still try? Maybe if i was consistent with it, then it would get easier?
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 03:51 PM
3

Thanks for your reply. I appreciate the "start small" approach. I keep thinking I have to change a while lot at one time and it becomes overwhelming. I will start with adding a couple tasks a day to my household routine. I am 46. I have always had low interest in sex. I will try to masturbate more often and see if things change. I think my partner would appreciate a cleaner house, for sure. He definitely appreciates me going back to school and work, but I have been so exhausted that when I get h…
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 03:46 PM
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