Newly wed advice thread.

[deleted] · 2015-03-13T17:36:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

P1nkSpr1nkles · 2015-03-13T12:58:27+00:00

Definitely join bank accounts in the beginning (don't wait). You want to start from a place of complete trust in your SO. Also, take his name right away if you're going to and get the paperwork/runaround out of the way- it can be a hassle but worth it.

If you work outside the home, I'd suggest making a house cleaning schedule on Google Calendar (or whatever). My job was overwhelming me and I was letting the house go (I was working more hours than him). He helped out ALOT but I felt bad about it... I like being that domestic part, ya know? It's been a week so far with my schedule and the house is still spotless, AND I don't feel overwhelmed by the work!

Try collecting pretty nightgowns to wear to bed. Don't forget the super special white/cream garmet for your wedding night! I still have mine that came with a matching silky robe and slippers with pearls on them. All of these things make the 'marriage' transition super special. My husband and I also lived together before our wedding and it didn't hurt a thing! :)

And congrats!! Very happy for you!!

[edit]: 33 years old, married 4 years, dated for 4 years, known him for 15 years

sugarcrush · 2015-03-13T15:56:06+00:00

First, make a budget! Preferably one that includes savings and fun money! Remember to leave room for things you don't usually think about but come up occasionally, like haircuts, extra household supplies, whatever. We have a joint checking, joint savings, and then individual accounts (they are also technically joint because both our names are on them in case of emergencies, but we only spend money from our own accounts). Paychecks get deposited into joint, and then once a month we auto transfer money to savings and some spending money to both our individual accounts. All joint expenses obviously come out of joint and our personal accounts are for extra goodies we both want or gifts. This set up works well for us.

mrs_cto · 2015-03-13T21:45:28+00:00

Me and my hubby have been married a year and a half. My biggest piece of advice is communicate about everything! Including money. Joint bank account for sure. We bank with Chase and we love it there. The Chase Freedom credit card is awesome!!! We each have one and it's the only card we have. Great way to get your credit score up if it's ok or not so great.

As for house priorities, both of you could share your dreams and goals and agree on the priorities. If there's some minor improvements to be made, go by the most frequently used rooms, like the kitchen and the bathroom. Also, for decor - my hubby doesn't really care about sprucing up the house too much and making it cute and modern. When we first got the house, I wanted to paint the kitchen. He let me do it and he helped me a bit, but didn't do a ton of the actual work. And last summer I want to paint our bedroom. It was my project and didn't expect him to help me so I did it almost all on my own! Our bedroom is big, so by the end I was burnt out and he and his dad did help me finish the last section. What I'm saying is that if he isn't super picky about looks don't expect him to get excited about stuff like painting! lol. But marriage is awesome - especially when you have great communication. Having one leader and someone who is the final decision maker (that being my hubby) makes for virtually no arguments or disagreements.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding! Enjoy the day and try to savor every moment! It goes by way too fast. There's no such thing as too many pictures. And really enjoy being in your dress. I wish I'd put mine on one last time before sending it in to be preserved - but I didn't! And take pictures with all the guests there that are really special to you - I didn't do that either and I regret it! Have fun!

YakCat · 2015-03-13T21:57:19+00:00

Plan out where you want to be 5, 10, & 20 years down the line. Don't just fantasy talk, plan it.

Always have a date night even if it's just a favorite meal at home with a movie, a favorite hiking trail, or something you both enjoy like biking.

I'm not sure if you like camping but some of our best memories are camping! It's cheap, you can travel and see great places, and it's always fun to snuggle by the fire. KOA has cabins with kitchenettes that are less like 'real' camping but as way cheaper then a hotel. Internationally, get into backpacking. Between hostels, monasteries/nunneries, and just rolling out the sleeping bag you can see so much for so little!

Side note for Europe, get an ebag junior to pack everything in--I can fit 10 days clothing and it fits under Ryan Air seats.

Bank accounts are something I had a problem with. I shared an account with an ex and it just got messy. With my husband we started with a checking account for each of us and a savings as well. Then we had joint together. It sounds silly but I wanted to be able to buy him presents in secret. Now we have evolved into just one of each but in our two countries. I got more trusting but I also stopped working.

Start investments!!!! They pay off. Whether you want to play stocks or think about purchasing a rental property, start thinking now. When kids happen, everything goes out the window. You need a nest egg. We have weekly rental property that pays for itself in a vacation spot. In 2 yrs, it'll be paid off. We plan on retiring there.

Not what you asked but make sure your parenting philosophy is the same. My husband had different views but we've come to agreements on the way we feel kids should be raised.

Agree on chores now. Make a weekly schedule. Start meal planning week to week. It makes it cheaper and better to know what's for dinner.

Never forget why you chose him! Every night or so, write down a few things he did right or something that made you smile you did together. When you argue (and you will), look at those lists. It keeps it in perspective how stupid arguments over cooking dinner, vacation choices, etc really are.

WhimsicalWonderland · 2015-03-13T20:11:20+00:00

Thanks for this thread! My fiance and I are going to be homeowners in 4 days and this is all stuff I want to know too!!

TheTerrorSquad · 2015-03-13T23:12:53+00:00

Follow his lead

meri-dian · 2015-03-27T06:17:00+00:00

The best thing we ever did was come to an agreement about finances before we even moved in together. And, come to think of it, the agreement was all his idea. ;)

Title	Newly wed advice thread.
Author	SoonToBeMrsHim
Upvotes	9
Comments	16
Date	March 13, 2015 12:47 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2ywkzs/newly_wed_advice_thread/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/newly-wed-advice-thread.85244 https://theredarchive.com/post/85244

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