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noprideinsomniac95 Archive

View 10 posts and 268 comments by noprideinsomniac95 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

just work on being able to have fun with another human being I learned this the hard way. Dating/Seduction should be about having fun, nothing more, nothing less. I learned the hard way by getting too invested early on, having too many expectations for people I'd only just met, etc. If you go into it with the mindset of just trying to have fun, you are more laid back, which makes you more attractive. And if you focus on having fun, chances are the other person is having fun too and is more likel…
/r/seduction23/07/20 01:50 PM
1

I feel like this is advice to get a gf, but once you're actually dating the girl, you shouldn't need to be doing it anymore.
/r/seduction23/07/20 01:45 PM
2

It's called the Pareto principle. Some very smart guys already did the math. It governs the distribution of most everything in the natural and human world. For example, 20% of people control 80% of the world's wealth, 20% of plants produce 80% of crops, the list goes on. Honestly, it'd be weird if dating didn't follow the Pareto principle.
/r/seduction23/07/20 01:43 PM
3

yeahhhhh here's the thing. A lot of us have tried to avoid the games and tried to be direct, and it usually scares people off. I'm not saying go overboard, but you need to be aware of your behavior and adjust it accordingly.
/r/seduction23/07/20 01:40 PM
1

yeah, pretty much
/r/seduction26/03/20 09:11 PM
3

I'm the same group and it is harder than it was in college. I feel like half of everyone I know is getting married and having kids and the other half just doesnt care about doing anything. My advice is be as social as you can, make friends, and dont turn down an invite unless you absolutely have to. After the pandemic ends, of course.
/r/seduction24/03/20 07:32 PM
2

What do you mean by that?
/r/seduction12/02/20 06:11 PM
1

Well this has been very eye opening for me. Thanks for your perspective.
/r/seduction12/02/20 03:06 PM
1

Well it sounds like this is pretty common and youve seen it before. If the underlying cause is insecurity, is there a way to fix it without making this mistake? Or is this what people mean when they say "I need to work on myself"? At the end of the day, everyone just wants to be happy, and the question is what it's going to take to get me there.
/r/seduction12/02/20 02:49 PM
1

This is a good point. I feel like ending an otherwise happy LTR over numbers would be a mistake yet I feel like its one I cant stop myself from making.
/r/seduction12/02/20 02:21 PM
1

You can't friend your way into it. You can't negotiate your way into it. Read this 17,000 times.
/r/seduction12/12/19 03:38 PM
1

its a common redditism not to post shirtless pics but honestly I think if you've got a six pack it'll be a plus.
/r/seduction09/12/19 01:27 AM
5

so use this experience to help you learn what not to do
/r/seduction09/12/19 01:19 AM
4

I'm tall and lanky, so before I lifted I noticed I tended to slouch, droop forward, and have my shoulders pointed inward and forward. I've strengthened my lower back which helps hold me upright and putting mass on my chest helped the shoulders spread out and appear wider. I really think that the human body was designed to be doing constant physical work, and so by working out you're helping your body be the way it was supposed to be. You don't need to be a body builder, you can even just do squa…
/r/seduction09/12/19 01:17 AM
1

It did not help at all. when I was younger I got good at talking to ALL people (not just girls) and I didn't work out at all, and even was starting to put weight on. I did pretty well for myself. More recently, I had lost a lot of that confidence, even though I've been working out, and I notice absolutely no difference in my game (or lack thereof). The only thing is girls will compliment me on it, but only when I bring up that I've been working on my fitness. In other words, girls who already li…
/r/seduction09/12/19 01:05 AM
2

Yeah I'd worry that they'd be able to see it was some shit I made up as an excuse to talk to them and be weirded out by it.
/r/seduction09/12/19 12:55 AM
4

Bro lose the doritos and maybe next time you wont get rejected. Just kidding, best of lick.
/r/seduction06/11/19 09:03 PM
3

At that point I'd just ask her to meet up right away. Or send a few messages asking how are you doing its dat boi and just go for it. If you talked for a while you could text her about something you talked about first, but if you just straight up approached and got her number gotta continue being bold.
/r/seduction04/11/19 08:42 PM
3

It depends on how you got the number in the first place more than anything. My only advice is to try and set it up sooner than later.
/r/seduction04/11/19 08:13 PM
1

Being this thirsty is generally a turn off
/r/seduction04/11/19 08:06 PM
1

I've found that a lot of the people I've dated literally dont give a shit what I say or do, it's like I cant do anything wrong. I think you might be going after the wrong people. That or you are just saying some really weird and/or fucked up shit.
/r/seduction04/11/19 06:21 PM
49

Shit........ That's brilliant.
/r/seduction04/11/19 06:15 PM
5

You dont even know what she looks like chill
/r/seduction04/11/19 06:10 PM
12

You complain about being 24 and a virgin but you literally say what the problem is. How are you going to complain if you dont even attempt to fix the problem?
/r/seduction04/11/19 06:08 PM
6

Uhhhhh, go out in public, look approachable, pick one of the ten guys that tries to talk to you in the first five minutes. Is this a troll? EDIT: hey op, not tryna be that creep that looks through your post history, but I've seen you posted some borderline concerning things recently. I dont think this is going to make you feel better. I think you should try to get help and get to a better place mentally before trying to do this kind of thing.
/r/seduction04/11/19 06:06 PM
8

I've noticed something interesting. I feel like the modern sex positive movement says it's ok to have as much or as little sex as you want, which is ok. However, It implies though that you have the choice. I think this applies to most women but not men. A lot of people, mostly men but I'm sure some women too, feel like they want to be having it but they can't. I think the sex positive movement makes them feel worse because it implies that everyone has that choice but them. I think if we could ma…
/r/seduction31/10/19 05:15 PM
0

Because its evolutionarily hardwired into our brains. Society has advanced and our minds/bodies advance so much more slowly, that they aren't anywhere near caught up.
/r/seduction31/10/19 05:11 PM
6

I admit I'd struggle with it, but you're right, it wouldnt be fair. We're just hardwired to think that way evolutionarily.
/r/seduction31/10/19 05:09 PM
67

This whole sub is about trying to have sex with women. You're shaming them for having sex. How do you think thats going to work out for you?
/r/seduction31/10/19 05:05 PM
8

It's always been that way. Look up the pareto principle. It governs wealth, income, just about how everything in the natural world is distributed. It would be insane to think it wouldnt govern how men get women.
/r/seduction31/10/19 05:04 PM
2

I feel like it's a bad opener. I feel like you should either ask her if shes in x class because you're interested in x class and then talk about her major, or straight up say shes cute and you want to talk to her. I think faking interest in a class because you think shes cute and dont actually care about the class is kind of creeperish if you dont pull it off very smoothly. The other ones have some room for less than perfect performance, IMO.
/r/seduction30/10/19 07:45 PM
3

Well to be quite honest with you this is the part I'm still trying to perfect. I think all of the advice on this sub covers that, but none of it will help If you dont try to follow it with an open mind. Admitting that you have a lot to learn and are willing to learn, instead of just dismissing everything everyone here tells you is the first step. It seems simple, but so many people fail to even do that. In general, I'd say to work on the wardrobe, get fit, try to find a style that works for you …
/r/seduction30/10/19 01:15 AM
2

A lot are like that but not all
/r/seduction28/10/19 06:03 PM
2

But it actually is though lmao
/r/seduction28/10/19 06:01 PM
1

Haven't found a way to get past that. Some girls take it more seriously than others. Best thing to do is to have a lot of volume so one cancellation doesn't hurt as bad. Date on friday cancelled? Who cares when you got one on saturday.
/r/seduction28/10/19 06:00 PM
4

I feel like at some point it stops mattering. Yeah ok date the hottest girl you can get if its important to you but if you're getting laid and you're attracted to the girls your doing with who the fuck cares
/r/seduction28/10/19 05:58 PM
0

Ask her out after a minimal amount of talking. I normally shoot my shot after 10-20 messages back and forth, when it feels like a good spot in the conversation. Some girls want to chat with you for a while but fuck that shit I'm not looking for a virtual gf.
/r/seduction28/10/19 05:55 PM
3

Its variable for me. I'll go for like a month without any responses or even matches, other times I'll be like juggling 5 at once. Just keep at it and dont get discouraged.
/r/seduction28/10/19 05:53 PM
1

Work on your profile. Find a look that works for you. I feel like a lot of guys try to force a look that doesn't work with their natural features and ignore a look that works better for them. Have good quality pics and make sure the pics and bio are interesting in that they make the person want to ask you about them. I'm sure a million guys have beach selfies, but try something they havent seen before and they'll ask you about it
/r/seduction28/10/19 05:52 PM
2

I can understand how this could make a socially anxious person uncomfortable, because it takes the initiative from you and gives it to the other person. But do understand that this is a problem most of the rest of us wished we had lmao.
/r/seduction23/10/19 10:05 PM
3

She is now reaching under my dress and grabs my dick. I literally laughed out loud when I read this
/r/seduction20/10/19 11:24 AM
2

This was a great read, thanks for all this. the most poignant thing you had in here for me was about your dad - brilliant guy, great worker, but he couldn't schmooze and so had career troubles. I've found myself in the same situation in the past with work, so I've learned to play the game. Luckily for me I figured out what the problem was, but I wonder what problems I've had that I didn't figure out. I don't think I'm on the spectrum, or if I am, definitely not to the point that you are (no offe…
/r/seduction25/09/19 09:35 PM
4

I've been on dates where I knew I wasn't attracted to the person as soon as I saw them, but I'm at least going to finish out the date. I've also went on second and third dates when I wasn't really sure how I felt about the person but I wanted to give them more of a chance. I imagine it's the same thing for girls.
/r/seduction25/09/19 09:12 PM
2

This is good advice, and I think what it comes down to is being less needy. If you're only talking to one girl, then you're a lot more likely to act needy with her than if you're talking to a few, even if you don't realize it. My friends and I even had a rule - if you meet a girl and want her to date you, then go talk to some other girls. I'd also like to add something else. Some of us have work, school, all kinds of obligations, and talking deeply to one person is hard enough. Right now in my l…
/r/seduction17/09/19 03:59 PM
1

So I guess you could say the hardest part is the first step then? Why should I go back to school, the hardest part is the first day of class, why should I start working out the hardest part is getting to the gym the first time. I guess it's a useful analogy.
/r/seduction23/08/19 03:45 PM
2

Nice user name. But you're right. The problem is I need success to get confidence, but I need confidence to get success.
/r/seduction23/08/19 01:38 PM
1

This is all well and good but after so many ghostings and dates that went nowhere it really is hard to not feel like you somehow aren't good enough
/r/seduction27/07/19 11:34 AM
0

I don't think all girls are that promiscuous, or even the majority of them. It's just that they're the most in your face about it, so it looks like a lot are that way than they really are. If you want to date someone more modest, by all means, go for it, but I'd suggest not looking for them in places that tend to attract the promiscuous kind.
/r/seduction22/07/19 12:59 AM
1

Yup! If you let it, Tinder can run your life, so it's really important to step away. And try not to get too invested in people you haven't even met in person yet (easier said than done for me but I'm working on it)
/r/seduction21/07/19 07:45 PM
2

This is the abundance mentality presented for online dating. It's weird for me, because I feel like I don't get a lot of matches and dates, but if I step back and look at it objectively, I'll be getting maybe a match a day (on average) and be pulling a date every month or so (and a lot more that I could but I decide aren't worth my time - that's a whole other discussion). When you're constantly on your phone, it doesn't feel like much, but when you look at it, if I got 7 matches this week and ha…
/r/seduction21/07/19 07:29 PM
13

This is a good point but I normally dontevem bother to reschedule after the first flake. Tells me they arent willing to put in the effort to meet me so I take that as a reflection of their reliability and dont bother. Unless they actually have am excuse, apologize, and set up an alternative time.
/r/seduction20/07/19 10:17 PM
3

Maybe I'm just not socially adept, but I just don't get this whole "dance". If a girl made eye contact with me randomly I'd just assume it was accidental and look away, even if I was interested. Why not just say hi first and feel it out? That's what I do
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:50 PM
-1

Here it is! proof of the double standard! How am I supposed to know which one I fall under?
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:46 PM
0

I often lock eyes and smile at random men I find attractive walking by I'm sorry but if a someone did this to me I'd wonder what the hell their problem was, not be confidence boosted. Just talk to me. But it hasn't happened yet so I think I'm good.
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:44 PM
2

all good stuff, but I'm going to disagree with you about going to the park without a purpose. Sometime I just want to get out of my house and chill outside, and the park is a good place to do it. So there isn't really a purpose for me being there, but I'm not going to avoid going there because some people might think it's weird. But I'm also not approaching women and asking where they live and demanding hugs from them when I'm there - I'm just minding my own business.
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:42 PM
1

"I gave him an inch and he took a mile" This sums up the entire interaction.
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:38 PM
1

very true. I've always worked out and stayed fit for me, not for anyone else, so I keep doing it regardless of if I'm single or taken. I'd want a partner to be the same way.
/r/seduction20/07/19 05:28 PM
1

I agree he should lose for health reasons, but if shes gonna leave him over a few pounds I'd say she did him a favor cause that's not the type of person you should marry.
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:44 PM
1

Dressing like a slob, smelling like shit, having a shit haircut with no hairstyle, not having clothes and shoes that match, etc. You'd be surprised how often you get accused of being gay for trying to look nice by "Manly men". It's ridiculous.
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:42 PM
1

I think it's to inspire confidence. Of course looks matter, but if you feel like you don't look good enough, you're going to miss opportunities. If you act as if they don't matter, you maximize your approaches and then success. A good looking guy will obviously have more success than an average guy, but they are both maximizing if they approach as many as they could.
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:39 PM
1

dude same. If I try to grow one it's all patchy and wiry. People make fun of "adolescent 'staches" but like I don't want to have it. I want to have a full beard
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:33 PM
1

case in point: I remember 10 years ago hearing how women in my area thought beards were gross, they prefer clean shaven men, etc. Now, every girl I talk to prefers dudes that have beards. By the time I can grow one they'll probably be out of style again :/
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:32 PM
3

I mean you don't know that guys life, this could've been the first time it happened to him in a long time, if ever.
/r/seduction20/07/19 04:29 PM
10

People are going to say its a mind game, but I disagree. Sometimes I get a text when I'm busy and I read it, but I need to think to formulate a response so I'll wait until I can do that. That's probably what's happening, honestly. Dont read into it too much, just try to match her speed.
/r/seduction19/07/19 05:20 PM
3

You shouldn't have to feel that way in a relationship. Your head is clouded. You're withdrawing off of oxytocin and serotonin the same way an alcoholic or drug addict withdraws and your psyche is trying to make you do everything in your power to get it back. If you cut her off, slog through the coming days and weeks, you will begin to feel better and one day you'll look back and be so happy you made this choice. These decisions arent easy, but they can affect your happiness.
/r/seduction19/07/19 05:18 PM
1

So it sounds like you know what you need to do and you're just trying to find the motivation
/r/seduction19/07/19 05:11 PM
1

Did she ever communicate this to you?
/r/seduction19/07/19 05:08 PM
2

The whole fact shes taking a break really seems like an attempt to get you to do what she want you to. She would've done it sooner if she doesn't love you? Guess what you still love people when you break up with them, you still do it anyway. Shes got you blaming your hobbies, when in a healthy relationship both people should have separate hobbies. You're saying its your fault, you were a bad bf, you didnt make enough time, etc, what about her? Does she have any culpability in any of this? But th…
/r/seduction19/07/19 05:07 PM
1

We've seen this before. We may be strangers but all of us have either been with a manipulative person or seen our friends be with one at one time or another.
/r/seduction19/07/19 04:24 PM
3

She is full of shit dude, a year from now you're gonna look back on this and see how naive you were being.
/r/seduction19/07/19 04:09 PM
3

That is complete and utter bullshit. She is manipulating you. You guys arent compatible or else she wouldnt be doing this. Tell her you guys are done for good, block her, and get to macking on new girls.
/r/seduction19/07/19 04:08 PM
6

This is bullshit. If she truly loved him she wouldnt be doing this in the first place and he shouldn't put up with it.
/r/seduction19/07/19 03:55 PM
14

She manipulated you into feeling as if having hobbies and not giving all your time to her is a bad thing. Hate to be a dick, but these people tend to pray on people who are inexperienced (you said this was your first relatjonship), because once you've been around a few times you know better than to put up with this shit. Sorry, buddy, shes playing you. For chrissake "not paying enough attention to her" what is she a child that needs baby sitting? Screw her.
/r/seduction19/07/19 03:54 PM
3

You know damn well shes gonna fuck other dudes, and probably especially girls to "explore her sexuality", and you're gonna be a sad sucker if you wait for her. Besides, taking a break is never a good sign, I'd just cut her off entirely if I were you.
/r/seduction19/07/19 03:51 PM
2

You seem intent on assign the label of "incel" to yourself. Maybe it's technically true? Who cares. You're splitting hairs and this attitude is holding you back.
/r/seduction19/07/19 03:29 PM
3

Incel is a mindset. There are plenty of guys who arent getting laid who want to who dont consider themselves an incel. Drop the mindset.
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:43 PM
4

Stop assuming. Assumptions ruin everything.
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:31 PM
4

Damn you really are intent on misunderstanding comments arent you?
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:23 PM
1

And a shave and shower
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:15 PM
3

No they don't want to get better at all I totally agree with this comment. Some people are obsessed with being miserable. They dismiss every good thing and focus on the bad. If you're trying to get your life in order, you clearly do want to get better. Which makes you not an incel.
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:12 PM
1

These guys have a mental health issue and that needs to be addressed before they can even think about starting "gaming". The root of their frustration, as I see it, is that they are not getting girls in a society that tells you your worth as a man is dependent on how many girls you get. For that, I do sympathize with them. However, they dont want to admit it's a problem with them (which I mean is human nature in general), and so they then blame it on girls. As they link up with more and more peo…
/r/seduction19/07/19 02:10 PM
2

Damn this is a great comment! Absolutely right, awkward, desperate, lonely, is ok, serial killer, rapist, whackjob isnt.
/r/seduction11/07/19 05:48 PM
1

Why do women always expect to feel this spark after ONE date?? Agreed. I've never went on one date with a girl and been like "They're the one I must marry them". After date one, it's either "do I want to see them again or not?". If the answer is yes, then I will try to see them again, and then by the 3rd date (if I can get to that point) so I'll usually know if I see myself with her or not. It's a process, this Walt Disney love at first sight bull shit is ridiculous.
/r/seduction26/06/19 12:56 AM
0

How can being involved in a conversation be a turn off? I'm sorry, but if I can't even enjoy a conversation with a girl because I have to be too worried about watching her body language, I don't want to date her anyway. With ever girl I've dated, the conversation flowed, I wanted to spend hours with them, and neither party cared about watching the other person's language. It just kind of flowed, I guess
/r/seduction26/06/19 12:52 AM
1

It's like the job market, you need experience to get experience.
/r/seduction26/06/19 12:49 AM
1

That's par for the course my dude. I usually get around a date a month using those 3 apps if I really try, and I normally only can get a second date about once every 6 months. Of those who I don't get a second date with, it's usually 2/3 that weren't interested in me, and 1/3 that I wasn't interested in. You have to understand that it's impossible to get to know someone over a chat box, and so people build up the version of you in their head that they like, and if you don't match that when they …
/r/seduction26/06/19 12:46 AM
1

Literally every tinder advice post says not to show off your muscles.
/r/seduction15/05/19 10:49 AM
1

If it makes you feel better I'm a 6 foot tall white guy that's in shape (though I'm constantly advised not to show it off in my pics), and I get single digit matches
/r/seduction13/05/19 02:41 AM
4

Yeah except they don't have to put any effort into their profiles and they'll still get a ton of options.
/r/seduction13/05/19 02:24 AM
1

I'm really not that good looking here, but I've noticed a few things: First off, make her laugh. Crack jokes and be funny. Different people respond to different types of humor, so keep trying until you find what works. Also try to engage her friends and just be fun. If you make her friends smile and laugh, chances are they'll help you out, but if you try to isolate her from them, then the opposite is true. I can't think of any examples of how to be fun, but you just want to be the kind of person…
/r/seduction07/05/19 01:18 AM
2

I've noticed with both women I'm interested in, and dudes I talk to as potential friends, whenever I try to have a conversation, we talk maybe for like 5 minutes, and then they make an excuse to go run off somewhere. How would you recommend acting so that people actually want to talk to you for more than 5 minutes?
/r/seduction03/05/19 05:14 PM
1

F
/r/seduction03/05/19 02:13 PM
6

taps plays
/r/seduction03/05/19 02:12 PM
1

To be honest I've been taking a break from dating for a while. It feels like my social life has gotten better, talking to new people and not turning down invitations. Not sure how this translates into dating but I guess well see.
/r/seduction26/04/19 06:40 PM
14

It's not that simple. Yes, attractive people can get away with more, but that doesn't mean they can do whatever they want. I've seen my friend who has a triple digit body count get called creepy before for overstepping boundaries. Learn how to push without overstepping, and you'll be fine. That point may be different for different people,but it still exists.
/r/seduction26/04/19 06:01 PM
1

I walk 2 miles a day on my lunch break (about 3 km in your commie units) and it's great. I also walk alot later at home and on weekends. Burns calories, gets my blood flowing, and most importantly, gets me away from the computer screen, if only temporarily. The physical benefits are nice, but the mental benefits is why I do it. Of course, walking isnt the only way I keep myself fit, but it's the easiest way. I cannot understand how someone would not want to walk.
/r/seduction24/04/19 05:47 PM
2

Break away from your friends. If they get jealous and pull you away from dudes you're talking to it's going to ruin it for you. Tell them ahead of time to leave you alone unless you give them a signal or something to bail you away from weirdos
/r/seduction09/04/19 01:47 AM
1

I think the smiling/staring/winking at them thing is kind of creepy though and requires a lot of confidence. As a dude, I'd think something was off about a girl who did that at me who I'd never even met. It should be simple, if I notice you first and want to talk to you, I go up and talk to you, if you notice me first and want to talk to me, you go up and talk to me.
/r/seduction09/04/19 01:44 AM
3

Literally same. I'd think one of my well-meaning friends paid her off or something
/r/seduction09/04/19 01:40 AM
3

No, extraversion is the most common factor I've seen in getting girls. I might make an entire post about it. Dressing well helps, having a nice face helps, being fit helps, but far and away the common thing everyone I know who hooks up alot has is that thehre extroverted and outgoing
/r/seduction27/03/19 06:06 PM
1

That's the thing though, I usually wear button downs when I'm out, and I don't really act cocky. My demeanor is more of a down to earth nerdy/intelligent guy who happens to be fit. I NEVER bring up working out unless it naturally comes up in conversation, and even then, I don't brag about it. It's like am I supposed to show it off more? less? That's what I'm saying, fitness doesn't matter. Or maybe being fit works better for other personalities than mine? I don't care if girls would like me bett…
/r/seduction26/03/19 11:18 AM
3

I beg to differ. I have a lot of muscle mass, and I have dad bod friends who naturally attract a lot more women than I do. I think it's more demeanor/ attitude. If you make them laugh they like you. Youd seriously be surprised the level of girls my friends have been able to pull with a dad bod where I am struggling to get girls less than twice my weight when I have a six pack. Muscles may help, but they dont make it
/r/seduction25/03/19 12:48 PM
2

Dont use smart watches Instantly minus five points in attractiveness to anyone with a smart watch. They are an abomination before horology.
/r/seduction25/03/19 12:44 PM
5

While I am a watch guy and I do appreciate a good watch, i seriously doubt anyone is going through that thought process
/r/seduction25/03/19 12:43 PM
1

At this point I'm more focusing on being friendly and outgoing to everyone in general. I've gotten a bunch of snaps/Instas already, trying to now figure out where to go from there. But most of this has been at bars, and one club,though I dont really like clubs.
/r/seduction25/03/19 12:35 PM
3

If something seems too good to be true, it is.
/r/seduction22/03/19 02:52 PM
2

What? No! Just be yourself and stop worrying about this alpha beta bullshit
/r/seduction21/03/19 08:20 PM
2

Pay it's not that much. And it isnt 2004, you dont have to abbreviate "bucks" to bux anymore.
/r/seduction21/03/19 08:08 PM
3

Dont waste effort trying to understand people. Either you get what you both want from each other and proceed, or one or both of you doesn't and you move onto the next.
/r/seduction21/03/19 08:05 PM
8

If you go there to learn to dance and you talk to women as a result then youre fine. If you're there only to hit on women and dont give a shit about dance, people are gonna think you're creepy. Make sense?
/r/seduction21/03/19 07:12 PM
5

Well I saw this video that said that there are twice as many men as women are on tinder, and they swipe roughly 3-5 times as much. This means that out of all the swipes done on tinder, 90% are guys. Because the algorithm sends your profile higher and higher the more swipes you get, it eventually sorts itself so that only the top 10% or so of guys get seen by most girls. That way there is a roughly even amount of swipes between girls and guys in this group. This is why when you first make your ac…
/r/seduction21/03/19 07:02 PM
13

I was using online dating in the year since my last relationship ended, and I did most of what you did: match their speed with responding to messages, make the first date shorter, no physical contact, wait a few days to text back, except most of the time by the second date I was getting physical - If i hadn't made out with a girl on the second date, either I didn't like her or she didn't like me enough for it to ever happen. Anyway, I've stopped with it entirely. It really didn't work well for m…
/r/seduction20/03/19 10:29 PM
1

Good luck on yours too!
/r/seduction20/03/19 03:24 PM
8

Women are, believe it or not, also complex human beings who all like different things and have different responses to the same situation.
/r/seduction20/03/19 03:04 PM
2

It's ok to be upset, the challenge is stopping that upsetness from turning into bitterness. When things dont go out way it's only natural we want to get bitter, but that only makes more things not go our way and makes us even more bitter. See also: confirmation bias.
/r/seduction20/03/19 03:00 PM
1

my confidence is through the roof after I shit canned the apps. You'd think the opposite would be true, with women at your fingertips, but no. Even mental health wise, aside from dating/game, it's an improvement in my life.
/r/seduction20/03/19 02:03 AM
1

I tried to use them only as a bonus, but I found that they were still a security blanket and I needed to be off of them entirely for it to work for me. That doesn't mean other people can't use them in moderation, but for me it seems, it's all or nothing. I think it's a small change a lot of people on here can make and may see some results, who knows
/r/seduction20/03/19 02:02 AM
3

I swear to God every time one of these threads get posted the OP claims they're "an 8 or 9" or "above average". Do you know what average means? It means half of the people are above it and half are below it. This would correspond to a 5.5. I find it very hard to believe that out of everyone out their dating/hooking up, its somshow only the better looking half that are having these issues. You gotta be more realistic.
/r/seduction17/03/19 03:49 PM
3

I usually get snaps, it feels less serious to ask for someone's snap. Asking for a number just has a formal feel to it anymore, and it kills the mood if you're asking someone for it after talking to them for 15 minutes. I prefer texting over snapping to be honest with you, but no one else in my generation seems to feel that way.
/r/seduction15/03/19 08:26 PM
2

The problem is how to set up a date? I think OP wants to know how soon to text, what to say, how long to tesxt back and forth before suggesting a date, etc..
/r/seduction15/03/19 08:24 PM
1

Dude same, but with social media. I'll get five instas/snaps on a night out, but when I try to actually talk the next day it falls flat. Either noncommittal responses or none at all.
/r/seduction15/03/19 08:23 PM
1

If that was enough to make her stop talking to you, then she's not someone you'd want to see long term anyway. Like I say, the trash takes itself out.
/r/seduction15/03/19 08:21 PM
2

I feel you man. They say to get a girl, you have to not need one, but, like as I'm getting older, I'm starting to think about if I want to buy house, have a family, etc.,all of which I need a partner for. I'm already fit, dress well, have a good job, and I have the rest of my life together. Frankly it's just fucking unfair that because of the structure of the bones in my face, I can't attract a partner and achieve those goals. But hell, what can you do, just gotta make the most of it I guess.
/r/seduction14/03/19 12:02 PM
1

I guess it's less about letting the "girls" win and more about letting that part of me that say's I'm not good enough to get any win.
/r/seduction13/03/19 12:31 AM
1

Never done it, but I'm ashamed to admit how seriously I've thought about this. I think the shame would stop me though. I'm basically admitted defeat by getting one, whereas if I don't I can stubbornly not let them "win", in a way
/r/seduction12/03/19 11:49 PM
2

You're not going to die if you don't have sex. Fuck her if you want to, don't if you don't want to, and in the meantime, try to get someone else.
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:39 AM
1

I'm a below average to average looking guy, I've probably had 15 dates from OLD over the past year, with very little success. I had a lot more success in college when I was out doing stuff and meeting people in person every weekend, and so I really think its clear, for me at least, that OLD does not work. I'd honestly focus your efforts more on meeting people IRL
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:36 AM
1

why the fuck are you asking us and not her
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:26 AM
1

Online dating hasn't worked for me at all, and I think it's because you really can't tell anything about someone until you meet in person, and it becomes this big thing. You have to schedule meeting up, have no idea if they're going to like you or if you're going to like them, but you still have to finish out the date if not. If you approach girls in public you can know within 5 minutes if there's mutual attraction and you can move on to the next one if not.
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:25 AM
5

Getting coffee suggests they want to take their time to get to know you and want a relationship and asking to get drinks suggests something more casual. I'd say suggest the evening dates, and if they don't go for it, then don't go at all. If that's what you're looking for. But honestly online dating kinda sucks. To meet someone, you have to make it into this whole thing and you don't even know if they will like you and you will like them, whereas if you met them in person you could've decided th…
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:20 AM
11

Don't stay out too late and don't drink when you have work the next day. Also why even go out on weeknights, there probably won't be anyone there anyway.
/r/seduction11/03/19 01:17 AM
1

This is a good point. This tactic is used all the time, from hostage negotiations to sales. Basically make the person feel understood and like they've been heard. They're more likely to listen to what you have to say than if you come across as dismissive, even if you're completely right.
/r/seduction20/02/19 03:50 PM
2

Is there a way to make your comment like the description for this sub?
/r/seduction20/02/19 03:46 PM
3

Just like with anything, people want to believe that there's an easy solution to their problems, instead of admitting that they need to make long term, difficult changes. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. Don't waste too much time on these people.
/r/seduction20/02/19 03:45 PM
4

As long as you aren't tricking anyone I don't see how.
/r/seduction30/01/19 03:32 AM
2

37? Are you looking for a relationship? I mean one would think after 37 girls you'd be able to get something
/r/seduction30/01/19 03:31 AM
1

And are you getting it from tinder?
/r/seduction30/01/19 03:30 AM
1

If you think the platform is horrible then why not just ya know, not use it?
/r/seduction30/01/19 02:23 AM
12

I mean, this seems to make sense, though I'd have serious qualms about the morality of actually putting something like this into practice.
/r/seduction30/01/19 02:11 AM
1

except it does
/r/seduction20/01/19 06:19 PM
1

You missed the part where OP has a degree of power over this person and this person may feel like they have to or there will be consequences. Even if that is not OP's intention (I mean, I don't think it is), how is he supposed to know that? It could count as harassment if person in question felt that they could not decline
/r/seduction20/01/19 06:17 PM
1

Maybe OP isn't the kind of person that would freak out and take a rejection personally. However, this guy doesn't know that. He might feel he has to go out with her, or else she's going to make his life miserable, which she has the power to do. There is a power structure here and this is NOT the situation where you go after an interest. It's comparable to a younger teacher being interested in one of their students.
/r/seduction20/01/19 06:15 PM
20

You don't. This is off limits. If the genders were reversed this would be a sexual harassment suit. Don't shit where you eat.
/r/seduction20/01/19 02:06 PM
1

People don't change unless they want to, and even then it's really hard. Just be careful and be smart about it
/r/seduction18/01/19 01:03 PM
3

they would eventually learn. Most men can't cope approaching women until they learn
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:27 PM
5

Consider who's giving you advice. Some guy who's buff and working for a gym is going to attract and be attracted to different girls than the misunderstood musician guy who's going to attract and be attracted to different girls than the bookworm intellectual guy. Sure, some things are universal, but all I'm saying is don't blindly accept any advice you get, think critically about it, and understand who's giving it.
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:27 PM
1

I've never thought about this before but this is great. I was previously of the mindset to avoid politics, but having an intelligent debate about it where you can agree to disagree on something is great.
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:24 PM
2

Depends. If they're both unanswered questions then it's sad, but if the first was like a statement that kind of warrants a response but not really, then its fine. I mean if she was really interested she'd start text conversations too, but never hurts to give it a last shot.
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:20 PM
1

If her bullshit makes her exhausting is she worth pursuing long term?
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:17 PM
1

no women are only attracted to chads and if you weren't born beautiful you have no chance /s
/r/seduction18/01/19 12:15 PM
3

I've never had a girl shit test me in the beginning either. I feel like that idea was created by dudes that don't talk to girls who overanalyzed the humor they saw in movies and TV You are entirely right about seeing what you can get away with in a relationship. Not everyone feels the need to push boundaries, to be sure, but some do, and it's so important to set them early and not let them be bypassed. Once a boundary is crossed, it sets a precedent and they get crossed just a bit further each t…
/r/seduction17/01/19 08:26 PM
2

You have to communicate that from the beginning, be it explicitly or implicitly. Asking a girl if she wants to go to your place for a movie has one connotation, asking her for coffee has another. Asking her how her day is conveys different intentions than texting her some innuendo stuff. Granted I suck at hookups so I might not be the best person to ask, but the way I see it, it's all about communication. At least it's a million times better than the current top comment which is basically saying…
/r/seduction16/01/19 02:14 PM
2

Being yourself isn't nice guy. Demanding that a girl date you or sleep with you because you're "such a nice guy" is nice guy.
/r/seduction16/01/19 02:04 PM
1

Your social life and professional life aren't mutually exclusive. In fact, you shouldn't be sacrificing either. It's great that you're so invested in your future, but you should absolutely be gaming if that's what you want to do. If you get to the point where you start failing classes, then that's a different story, but I don't think that'll happen to you. You sound like you got a good head on your shoulders, I mean with a full time job at 19 you're already way ahead of the curve
/r/seduction15/01/19 03:20 AM
1

My thoughts exactly. It could theoretically work, but 99% chance it'll fail.
/r/seduction14/01/19 04:11 PM
1

If done correctly it'd probably have the desired effect, but i think it's way too easy to come across as an asshole and ruin it for yourself. I've never had experience with this so take what I say as you will, but I'd just like not bring it up and if you can't make a date because you have another date just say you've got plans and that's it. I'd only really bring it up if they do and admit to seeing other guys, AND you feel like you want to get serious with them. Otherwise there's no need from m…
/r/seduction14/01/19 03:59 PM
7

Ahhhhh nothing like having to make up excuses as to why you can't constantly text a girl you've only seen in person once.
/r/seduction10/01/19 09:13 PM
3

Do you want to date either of them? If not, forget about them and move on. I don't think you'll recover and there's plenty out there. If so, the answer is still forget about them and move on cause that's a shitty way to start a relationship.
/r/seduction09/01/19 09:26 PM
2

This is actually an interesting point.... while the success rate would probably be low, it'd still be higher than online dating I'd bet.
/r/seduction09/01/19 08:44 PM
2

No one is going to accuse you of sexual harassment if you innocently ask them on a date.
/r/seduction09/01/19 08:43 PM
1

It's always risky doing that with someone at their job. It can work, but I'd advise you to be more cautious than if it were at a more social event like a bar or a party.
/r/seduction09/01/19 02:55 AM
2

She wants the attention. Stop responding to her, then she'll see she has to work harder for it, and she'll either meet up with you, or she'll stop talking to you, at which point you can drop her and move onto the next one.
/r/seduction17/12/18 10:22 PM
6

probably money. Can never really be sure with waitresses. They get more money if they make you feel special. Doesn't mean you can't try something, though.
/r/seduction17/12/18 10:20 PM
1

if you don't act like you do. IDK
/r/seduction17/12/18 09:57 PM
2

You absolutely did the right thing. "bros before hoes" and all that.
/r/seduction27/11/18 06:57 PM
1

After college, there are less options/opportunities so they put out the vibe more I don't know about this. In college, girls seemed a lot more open minded and outgoing. Now, a few years after, most are married, engaged, or have long term bfs and the ones that don't won't give you the time of day because they have a huge pool of single dudes to choose from.
/r/seduction25/11/18 01:07 PM
1

This is how I feel, yet I've had multiple girlfriends and hookups over the years, so obviously it isn't true. I think what's really going on is you need to approach them and do all the work. Girls generally won't approach you unless they knew you for a while and are really infatuated, or you're in the top 5%
/r/seduction25/11/18 12:54 PM
1

A lot of people in this thread are saying sometimes they are too busy to meet someone new. Well honestly it doesn't matter. Either they are really too busy to meet with you, or they're using it as an excuse, either way, you aren't meeting them. So take it at face value and move on.
/r/seduction21/11/18 01:19 PM
7

I take it to mean "I'm not interested" then stop caring. They're either really busy and don't have time for you, or they don't like you. Either way the outcome is the same so why continue to fret over it
/r/seduction21/11/18 01:15 PM
1

Do you text them back right after? That may be making you come off as desperate.
/r/seduction19/11/18 05:57 PM
1

I can't really see anything wrong with what you're doing. Do you playfully tease them as you get to know them better? Are you texting them immediately after? Keep in mind it is a numbers game, so if you've only been on a few, you can't really judge it by that.
/r/seduction19/11/18 05:00 PM
1

This has nothing to do with capitalism nor is it dysphoric. You maintain a professional relationship with some people and a personal one with others. What's wrong with that?
/r/seduction19/11/18 03:57 PM
1

This guys right. By being desperate like this, this guy's giving off the vibe that he might be unpleasant if she rejected him. I've been ghosted too, and I notice the less clingy and less desperate I come across as, the more likely the girl is to be upfront with me instead of just not responding and hoping I go away. In other words, don't be this guy.
/r/seduction19/11/18 02:59 PM
2

This is extremely important and most people don't realize it. It's one thing if you work in retail or something, but especially when you work at a job that pays your mortgage and heath insurance, you don't want to risk that for anything. Sure, talk to your coworkers to be on good terms with them, but keep them and any clients/customers at arms length.
/r/seduction19/11/18 02:57 PM
-1

This is not a good idea. Like whatsoever. Bang her if you want but mark my words if you date her you will bring unnecessary drama into your life.
/r/seduction18/11/18 10:49 PM
2

Dude every time I've had success it's been when I wasn't expecting it. I think something about being laid back cause you're not expecting anything makes you more attractive then when you're tense.
/r/seduction18/11/18 10:47 PM
2

Practice practice practice Also abundance- the more hot girls you meet, the less nervous you get for each one cause you know if it doesn't work out you'll just move onto the next one.
/r/seduction18/11/18 10:45 PM
2

I guess you missed the part where he said he didn't get any matches at first
/r/seduction18/11/18 10:41 PM
1

Ehhhh idk, it definitely sounds like you're doing it right. I think there's something else your overlooking. Give me a rundown of a date.
/r/seduction18/11/18 10:30 PM
3

Hooking up isn't for everyone, maybe it's not for you
/r/seduction18/11/18 09:32 PM
3

I really think the girl you met was the exception and not the rule.
/r/seduction18/11/18 09:15 PM
2

I feel like the term "fuckboy" is reserved for when the guy just wants to have sex and the girl doesn't. If she just wanted to bone as well, she wouldn't be calling you that.
/r/seduction18/11/18 02:38 PM
2

I think she's confused about what she wants. Logically she knows she should want something serious, but after just coming out of that life, she really wants to just hookup. She was probably just hoping you'd make something happen, though she felt guilty about wanting it. Don't forget, she grew up in an environment where even admitting you might consider sex is considered a mortal sin. Had you initiated, it probably would've happened, but it's probably better that you didn't, because she would've…
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:22 PM
6

Seconded. Watch out for those depressed girls man, they'll suck the life out of you then move on when you have nothing left to give.
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:15 PM
2

She never wanted you, she wanted someone to bitch to about being depressed. delete her and move on.
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:14 PM
3

If she shoots you down without giving an alternative, that means she isn't interested and doesn't want to meet up. Forget about her and let her come to you.
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:12 PM
1

it's not just girls that avoid neediness, it's everyone. A needy person is a drain on you, they need to be taken care of and need constant attention, so we're evolutionary wired to avoid people like that. The difference between being wanted and needed is that you can want someone, but still be OK without them. Being needy come across as you can't live without them, and that is incredibly off putting to someone you've just met. I've even noticed this myself. I'll match with a girl online and star…
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:09 PM
1

OK, I think it's important to point out here that it's just as important to know when to not approach them as it is to approach them. Think about it, if a girl is alone by herself in a park, what's her first impression of the guy that's walking up to her going to be?
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:05 PM
2

Buddy you got played. This could've been a set up all along. Cancel all your cards and request replacements.
/r/seduction18/11/18 01:00 PM
1

I kind of had the same thing- I struck out with a few girls that I met somewhat recently, and I realized that it was because I was coming across as clingy and desperate. Like shit man, I learned five years ago how to not make myself too available, not act too interested, and ended up ignoring everything I'd learned.
/r/seduction18/11/18 12:56 PM
2

Without more information, it's hard to nail down for sure, but you're probably not making yourself come across as boyfriend/hookup material. Try hugging them when you first see them, minor touching, teasing them, bringing up "innuendo"
/r/seduction18/11/18 12:54 PM
5

tactical withdrawal bro
/r/seduction18/11/18 12:34 PM
11

sounds like her and her roommates are THOTS. What you did is not weird in the slightest, in fact I'd go so far as to say what they're saying is weird.
/r/seduction18/11/18 12:29 PM
36

Most guys that hook up with tons of girls are very forward and wouldn't get food. But who cares, do what you want to do. If you want to get food with her first, get food, if you don't, then don't. Don't worry about what they do, do you.
/r/seduction18/11/18 12:27 PM
1

I don't know man, can we assume normality? And this is categorical data. I'd recommend a Fisher's test
/r/seduction07/11/18 02:18 AM
2

This is a smart idea. I've done this in other ways to test if a girl is actually interested in me.
/r/seduction06/11/18 10:26 PM
1

You're over thinking it. Just do what feels natural
/r/seduction06/11/18 10:25 PM
1

Ehhh, doesn't really work for me.
/r/seduction28/10/18 01:54 PM
1

If it feels like work you're doing it wrong.
/r/seduction28/10/18 01:53 PM
1

This girl is cheating on her boyfriend with him, why would she be any different if he was her boyfriend?
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:32 PM
1

Someone posted a thread in askmen about what it was like to go from poor to having a lot of money, and the answers were strikingly similar to what you posted here. IE, lose friends, feel like you can't talk to people about your problems, have to be suspicious of anyone trying to be your friend.
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:31 PM
1

She isn't interested dude. She told you straight up, like what else more does she have to do to get it through your head? This fucking friend zone shit is ridiculous, you're only holding yourself back from meeting someone who does actually want to date you. And not to mention she has a boyfriend but wants to hook up with you? What makes you think she wouldn't do the same with some other guy if she did end up dating you?
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:28 PM
1

Uhhh yeah, no shit. Would you date a girl who weighed twice as much as you, with no job, that sat around eating all day? Probably not.
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:26 PM
3

You're only 16?? Don't sweat it my dude, as you get older people will want to go out more and do stuff. I was a party animal back in college and I didn't start partying until like 18. I was a recluse at your age. Just be outgoing with people, try to make more friends, and sooner or later you'll be invited to something
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:22 PM
1

Hey man, I've seen you posting in the sub for a while now, mostly negative defeatist stuff. If you're older and have issues, it might make it harder for you, but not impossible. But you're never going to get anywhere if you don't change your mindset. Like no offense, but why are you even here if you don't want to take the advice on this sub?
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:19 PM
2

Getting into the first one is the hardest. Ask your friends if they know about any just be more outgoing with people in general and see if you get invited. Once you get into one be super outgoing with everyone, swap numbers, and you'll get invited to more and more. Just be the guy who seems really fun and people will want to have you.
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:15 PM
1

Yeah, I don't think he's engaging their friends which may be the problem. He's making it seem like he's trying to corner one whereas he should be talking to all of them and making all of them feel good about themselves.
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:11 PM
1

Get them to like you and it's the opposite.
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:10 PM
1

You might be making them feel cornered and they use that as an excuse to get away from you. Think about how you position yourself and if you're like blocking them from leaving or whatever without realizing it. You gotta let them feel like they can leave any time if want. Back in college, at parties I used to chat up girls for a while, and I had the "bathroom test" I used to do. I'd talk to a girl for half an hour to an hour, then excuse myself to go to the bathroom. If she was still there when I…
/r/seduction27/10/18 12:08 PM
1

That shit used to bug me cause I'd actually wait to hear back, but once you understand that it means no and forget about her and move on, it makes things easier. While were at it, what are some other common "translations"? Like obviously excuses for not being able to hang out with no alternative is obviously a no as well
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:59 AM
3

She wants to have the benefits of being in a relationship with you without actually being in a relationship. If you're OK with that, proceed, but if you want something more, lay it out straight - you want something serious and if she doesn't, you're going to move on and find someone else who does. And don't worry about "losing" her. She wasn't yours to lose to begin with. There's more out there. When it comes to dating you gotta learn when to cut your losses. Dudes end up in the friendzone becau…
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:46 AM
1

I enjoy going to clubs to dance with my friends very occasionally, but I never expect to find any girls there. You can't hear what anyone's saying, half or more of them are there with their boyfriends, they have their guards up because they're getting hit on by tons of guys. I think the best way to meet girls is parties. It seems at parties people seem to be the most outgoing and chill. Bars are about the halfway point, easier to meet someone at a bar than a club, but not as easy as a party.
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:42 AM
1

Maybe it's a subconcious excuse for being too scared to seal the deal
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:38 AM
1

Maybe you subconsciously picked up on signals that something wasn't right about her and it translated into your conscious mind feeling ambivalent about her. Either way, if you're feeling happy working on yourself and not pursuing, then do whatever makes you happy.
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:36 AM
17

This is what bothers me. I got a few friends who don't have to do anything except show up and they'll have girls approaching them all the time. And not bad looking ones, either, whereas I could sit there all night and no one's going to so much glance at me. I have to approach, get rejected, approach, get rejected over and over whereas they just have to be there. I know life's unfair and all but it really gets discouraging at times.
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:31 AM
3

A few times but not by the ones I'd want to be approached by.... Or maybe I have been more but they didn't make it apparent whatsoever so I probably thought they were legitimately asking me what the time was or whatever the excuse they used to talk to me.
/r/seduction27/10/18 11:23 AM
13

This probably makes the most sense - refreshing to see someone explain it other than the defeatist "if you're ugly then you're creepy" or the "just be confident"
/r/seduction08/10/18 06:33 PM
2

welllllll I try to keep it as clean as possible but it's an uphill battle. It's hours worth of work, and it has to be done every week. I try but I got work school, and i like to at least have a social life instead of throwing hours of my free time into this black hole of a house. Personally I'd prefer to get my own place, preferably one that's be easy to maintain, but I live in an expensive area and it's not the right time
/r/seduction30/07/18 02:13 PM
1

Honestly I think having a plan is the best course of action. I'm churning an OK number of dates, but most of them go nowhere. When I have been successful, I realized in retrospect that things fell into place but would've been so much easier had I planned it out in the beginning. My situation makes it a bit difficult but not impossible, so I'm working my strengths
/r/seduction28/07/18 07:15 PM
3

I have the opposite problem... the parent I live with is single as well and we have an agreement, so there wouldn't be any opposition in that regard but the house looks so bad I'd be embarrassed to bring a girl back. It doesn't help that the area I live in is all upper middle class, even some upper class, so it's even worse. If I brought back a girl that lived in a similar situation, then it wouldn't matter, but all these girls all live in McMansions with cleaning ladies, yearly trips abroad, an…
/r/seduction28/07/18 07:13 PM
1

been trying for six months... I think rules 1 and 2 come into play
/r/seduction28/07/18 11:37 AM
2

It depends. the vast majority of girls I match with and chat up don't want to meet up, but some do. I've also switched to getting their snaps and snapping back and forth a bit first. No success yet but I've only been doing it for a few days.
/r/seduction28/07/18 11:35 AM
16

That's my problem too, plus my house is in a derilict condition .... parental financial situation that I have no control over.
/r/seduction28/07/18 11:34 AM
1

I never said it was a problem, just that it defeats the whole purpose of having bumble make girls message first.
/r/seduction21/07/18 10:26 AM
2

Yeah def. pay attention to if she offers though.
/r/seduction21/07/18 10:24 AM
1

Yeah, that's pretty standard. It sucks but it's the way it is. Like how Most of the time companies don't contact you to offer you a job, you have to apply
/r/seduction20/07/18 10:49 PM
3

Depends on what you mean by chase. If you're talking like for hookups, then no, not weird at all. Men are expected to initiate contact, escalate, set up first time meeting in person if it's online, so on. If you're trying to get in a relationship, you still have to initiate, escalate, and all that the first few times. If she isn't contacting you first after a few times, then yeah she probably isn't interested.
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:49 PM
8

Bumble is the same as tinder in the regard that I'll match with the same girls I would've matched with on tinder, and the ones that message me would've been the same ones to reply to my first message on tinder. Besides, they always say "hey" or "hi" so it basically throws the ball back in my court and things proceed just as they would with every other dating app.
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:47 PM
6

1.) no, just when I feel like it 2.) doesn't matter to me 3.) I date whoever interest me at the time 4.) who said anything about sex?
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:44 PM
21

When I was in college, it was easy. I could ask people if they're new, what their major was. I just told myself I was genuinely curious in meeting new people and seeing what they had to offer, men and women. Getting older it's a bit harder, people are a bit more uptight and you don't have that common ground as you did when everyone around you went to the same school. Still though, the same attitude applies. Also the biggest thing is to just say something as soon as the possibility of talking to …
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:37 PM
4

+1 to getting adopted by a group of people. I once went to a dance thing at my school, not realizing you're supposed to bring a date. As a socially awkward, shy, introverted kid, it took balls of steel for me to approach a table and ask if I could sit with them. Approaching one person is hard enough, five was nuts. But i did it, conversation flowed, and we all had a good time.
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:35 PM
8

It's all about how you present yourself. If you go and look creepy and like you're uncomfortable, then you give off bad vibes. If you look like you're having a good time and don't care, then people will be more receptive. Try going to a bar after work and grabbing a bite to eat. That's kind of the "training wheels" of going out alone. Get comfortable not giving a shit what anyone else thinks.
/r/seduction20/07/18 07:33 PM
2

You got laid twice in five dates, that's pretty successful to me. Just keep plugging away. The thing about tinder is you really have no idea how much you have in common with someone until you meet them face to face, so you're going to have to weed through a bunch of girls who aren't right for you. Say you were meeting girls at the bar by approaching them, it'd be different cause if you got them to agree to a date after chatting them up for a bit, you'd already have established some level of comp…
/r/seduction16/07/18 12:37 PM
1

How much have you seen her? Probably friendzoned tbh, but still worth a shot.
/r/seduction16/07/18 12:26 PM
3

Because the girls with low self esteem often times put themselves down and allow the man to lead the interaction and do what he wants. They don't seek them out per se, more just allow themselves to go along with it.
/r/seduction15/07/18 12:12 AM
1

That must've been satisfying to see. I've never been approached by a girl at a bar but if I was I'd probably assume she forgot her wallet at home.
/r/seduction14/07/18 06:29 PM
1

How you mean?
/r/seduction14/07/18 06:27 PM
1

The key is to take that lubricated, social feeling you get from alcohol, and try to imagine it when you're sober. I've been trying to cut back on drinking, so often times I'll volunteer to DD on a night out, and I just pretend I'm drunk in a way. Not like pretending I'm sloppy and just letting whatever weird thoughts my mind generates to slip out of my mouth, but rather imagining that I'm excited to meet everyone, and all these people have really cool and interesting things to talk about with me…
/r/seduction14/07/18 05:35 PM
1

I as a person need time by myself to collect my thoughts and recharge. It doesn't mean I'm antisocial and don't want to talk to people ever, I just NEED that alone time. I prefer smaller intimate settings with people I know or just a few people I don't know over huge gatherings full of strangers. I prefer a job where I can be left alone all day over being forced to socialize with people. Maybe the word "introvert" isn't scientifically valid or whatever anymore, but it describes my and a lot of o…
/r/seduction14/07/18 05:28 PM
3

Thanks dude. I actually have the same thing going on myself. I went through an abusive relationship, a nasty breakup, and the ups and downs of post-BU dating. My confidence seems to be peaks and valleys rather than a constant thing so I'm trying me best to heed my own advice and think positive!
/r/seduction14/07/18 05:05 PM
1

Approach dudes, similarly to how you'd approach women. Look for guys who look like they're a fun time and no what they're doing. And as a bonus, if you don't score you still have a good time with your new friend.
/r/seduction14/07/18 05:04 PM
12

fake it when you don't have it. Even if it feels disingenuous to yourself at first, if you tell yourself you're a worthy person, have a lot to offer, and deserve love and respect, you'll start to believe it.
/r/seduction14/07/18 04:59 PM
25

Yup, and interestingly enough, I find the best way to gain confidence is to not focus on women too much. Sure, this sub is great for advice, but if you spend hours and hours on it, and then go try to pick up women and fail, you'll feel as if you wasted all this time and effort. Always have things going on in your life that don't involve them, and that way you know you can turn to them for a while if you don't succeed. You'll be more relaxed about interactions, and in turn more confident. For exa…
/r/seduction14/07/18 04:58 PM
2

touche
/r/seduction14/07/18 04:55 PM
2

needing to put other people down to feel good about yourself is also a sign of low confidence. Just saying.
/r/seduction14/07/18 04:36 PM
1

You can, but it's easier to set the dynamic early on rather than changing it. Plus the person might've been attracted to you and wanted the relationship for the way it was. Change that, and there's a possibility that they'd lose attraction. I was also talking about this more in the context of seduction. To get girls to want to get with you, you need to show them confidence, and the quickest way to torpedo confidence is through self-depreciation.
/r/seduction14/07/18 02:58 PM
3

Well, I'm still a young grasshopper in my seduction career, so I defer to the more experienced dudes for specifics. In my experience, the first thing you can do it just not put yourself down and make self-depreciating jokes. This goes for any interaction, not just romantic/sexual ones. People with low self-confidence tend to think that the only way they can get people to like them is at their expense, and nothing can be further from the truth. You are an interesting person with stories, experien…
/r/seduction14/07/18 02:51 PM
1

Unless you are jacked, brazenly arrogant, and intensely confident, the club probably isn't going to work for you. Save your time and money and try to meet girls at a more laid back venue, like a bar or a party.
/r/seduction14/07/18 02:41 PM
2

Best advice I've heard is do it before you can convince yourself not to. It's not what you say that's important, it's how you make them feel, and being confident and not caring about rejection is more conducive to making them feel good about you than cowering in the back, sneaking glances, and trying to think of the perfect thing to say.
/r/seduction14/07/18 02:34 PM
2

Look into meetup - you can join groups of people based on various interests you all have. It may not be the most efficient way to meet girls, since that's not really it's intended purpose, but it'll help you get out of the house and meet people who have actual lives and interests instead of just getting fucked up and trying to snag a man. Plus, the people you meet are more likely to be introverted like you so you won't have that pressure of trying to act like an extrovert in an extrovert's world…
/r/seduction14/07/18 02:32 PM
2

Wrong answer: "I've been trying to quit and blah blah blah" - making excuses for your behavior and trying to get her to validate you Correct answer: "Yeah, so what" or "you don't smoke enough for an 18 year old" - owning your behavior and displaying confidence that you don't care about the judgements she renders about you.
/r/seduction14/07/18 01:50 PM
2

This is really vague. Have you known her for a while? I'm guessing you haven't done anything physical with her? If you've gone out with her a lot, it's safe to say you're in the friend zone. But if you've just met her recently, then it's possible there's some attraction building. Don't squander it. And about the dancing thing. Be a man about it, say "I'd like you to dance with me", don't do this "I'll go if you go" and slowly try to dance with her then back away when you get too nervous bullshit…
/r/seduction14/07/18 01:47 PM
3

Yeah I never have and never will buy a random girl drinks. You have to show me you're interested in ME not what I can buy you before I open my wallet.
/r/seduction14/07/18 01:33 PM
2

The gift thing would've been creepy regardless of if there was attraction or not. If I met a beautiful woman at a bar and she tried to send me something the next day, I'd still be sketched out. Maybe it's a societal thing - if it was normal for people to do that then it wouldn't be weird but since it isn't, it suggests a level of desperation on the part of the giver and there's probably a reason why they're that desperate. Guys have this narrative than an attractive guy can do whatever he wants …
/r/seduction14/07/18 01:31 PM
1

I'm kind of struggling with this as well, though with admittedly less success than you are. My problem is, and I think it might be yours too, is that I wasn't showing them that I want nothing more. When I meet girls, primarily online, id quickly decide if they were in the "possible girlfriend" pile or the "hookup" piles, yet I approached them the same way- ask for coffee, not really escalate too soon, talk about my personal life, deep shit, stuff like that. I think I'm going to get around it two…
/r/seduction13/07/18 03:43 PM
12

In a similar vein, I've had really unattractive women try to get with me, and they basically trap me and make me feel cornered. If there was any attraction before, it's gone after that. It really made me aware of how being overbearing works against you, and I always try to not make girls feel that way.
/r/seduction13/07/18 02:56 PM
2

Well I think part of it is your age. Most men in the 18-21 age aren't looking for anything serious, but as you get into your early 20s that should help. What kind of men are you going for? Do you talk to anyone who'll give you the time of day, or do you get picky? Please don't take this the wrong here, but men will tend to hookup with girls who they see as below their league, whereas they'll date people they see as in their league or out of it. So I could totally be reading this wrong here, but …
/r/seduction16/05/18 02:46 PM
1

Where have you been going out? I'm not close to many clubs, and the bars around me mostly have an older crowd that keep to themselves. My area is an area where you go with people you already know, rather than to meet people. I'd love to get off these miserable dating apps and go meet people IRL, but the question is WHERE Also just want to say, I've been working on my career and fitness, but I do it for me, not to impress girls. If girls were attracted to overweight muffins I'd still be working o…
/r/seduction16/05/18 02:30 PM
4

I mean you should probably get your life in check for more reasons than just getting laid
/r/seduction16/05/18 02:26 PM
4

I highly doubt a single mother would approach me, a random dude, with the intention of just a hookup. And considering that anything more than that is completely out of the question for me, at this stage in my life, the possibility of that even being a concern is essentially zero.
/r/seduction14/05/18 09:13 PM
4

Well all of the single moms I've seen on online dating sites are adamant in their descriptions that they are not looking for anything casual. I'm not saying they'd all be like that, but experience certainly suggests that there's a higher likelihood a single mom doesn't want to fuck around than a non-mom. And no offense to them, I'm balls deep in my career right now, I don't want to have kids right now and invest the time and money into my own offspring, I sure as hell don't want to do it with so…
/r/seduction14/05/18 08:55 PM
10

Why don't we talk about how it makes men feel when aliens come down and solve all of our problems, because that's about equally as likely as us being approached by an attractive woman.
/r/seduction14/05/18 06:22 PM
2

No one wants to date them. So yeah.
/r/seduction14/05/18 06:18 PM
2

I was going to give a reason why I couldn't do this, but then I realized that would be exactly the self defeating attitude that cause me to fail. So thanks. I do have a few hobbies, i can look into expanding my circle in them.
/r/seduction11/05/18 06:52 PM
1

See I can barely get dates from matches regardless of whether it's presented as a relationship thing or a hookup thing. I get it's a numbers game, but my numbers are too low.
/r/seduction11/05/18 06:51 PM
1

Not many places to meet people around me. I could pull maybe one thing ever few months in person vs 1 or 2 per month online.
/r/seduction10/05/18 05:59 PM
2

Easier said than done
/r/seduction10/05/18 05:48 PM
8

I used to be like this, and these were some of the best years of my life. I find that the people you go out with also make a huge impact. Before, I used to go out with people who were friendly and outgoing, so meeting new people was a breeze. Unfortunately, they've all settled down and now the only people who I go out with are socially withdrawn. They're my friends, and I like them, but they're not the type to start conversations with random people, and so we kind of just get locked into talking…
/r/seduction22/03/18 06:35 PM
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