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onthisthing_ Archive

View 6 posts and 94 comments by onthisthing_ on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Agreed on the taking advantage part. Healing comes from an individual recognizing and truly understanding their part in the failed marriage. All we can do is show up as our best selves. If both parties work on that I believe a relationship can really flourish. I have a partner now and we have a great relationship. I just don’t believe in marriage anymore. Not after getting a divorce and realizing the state has jurisdiction over part of my life that’s tied to what I’ve earned and when and how I s…
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/26 04:17 AM
3

Glad you’re in therapy. Best thing to have while going through divorce hell.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/26 03:17 AM
7

Learned from my first divorce not to have a second. Losing 1/2 is one thing, but losing 1/2 again, well that’s just inexcusable. Some folks are just dying to give their hard earned money away, and these women out here are more than happy to take it…
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/26 10:07 PM
3

Cali is a brutal, brutal place to get divorced as the breadwinner. But it seems the most logical solution is to sell the house if it’s a financial strain. No judge is going to disagree with the numbers.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/26 04:19 AM
1

Same thing happened to me for like 3 years. It was horrible at first then it got progressively better. I was with one woman for 22 years, got a divorce and had the freedom to sleep with whomever I chose. But 9/10 I was nervous AF and in my head way too much. Trauma of divorce had me fucked up. ED in its truest sense won’t even allow you to jerk off. I didn’t have issues when alone, would watch some porn and zero issues getting an erection. But in a real situation it was hit or miss. Just allow y…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/25 01:52 PM
1

All lawyers do is suck you dry and THEN tell you you’re fucked.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 02:26 AM
4

Divorced in Cali here. Was married 17 years. Similar financial situation. You’re fucked. Sorry. But no way out of it besides the long game. Not sure how old your kids are but I’d at least wait until they turn 18 because alimony is where they squeeze your balls like a toddler with clay. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. That old quote has legs for a reason. If you’re super super miserable you can’t put a price tag on sanity. Get out now and take your losses. But continue working. You’ll nee…
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/25 02:24 AM
4

You must be the bread winner (by far) and because marriage is a rigged system. Sorry my guy, just don’t fall for the trap again and you’ll be fine. True happiness can be found AFTER being married because you now know what true misery looks like.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/25 08:27 PM
3

Only if I had a death wish.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/25 11:44 PM
3

I experienced the exact same thing for 2 years. Get back in the game soldier, focus on work like your life depends on it. Work toward upward mobility until you’ve saved enough and earned enough to get the fuck out. Kids are more resilient than you think. The truth always rises to the top when they get older. Always speak your truth without saying disparaging remarks about their Mother. I followed this exact same path while my father was dying of cancer. I’m still standing and happier than ever. …
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/25 01:05 PM
2

“Be a man” is the reason men are getting absolutely destroyed in court. Losing their fucking shirts on a daily basis. Time to end this archaic attitude and fight back so the bias ends. Women are asking for equal rights (rightfully so) so that should apply to everything including paying alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/25 05:08 AM
1

I agree. One shouldn’t act like a scumbag but if there’s a significant difference in income the law allows for alimony. And often times when a man asks for alimony people question it or become extremely judgmental. In 2025 women are more empowered than ever and with that empowerment comes benefits and challenges. All things equal alimony shouldn’t be gender based.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 11:41 PM
0

You’re either a woman or you’ve never been divorced.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 09:51 PM
1

Fuck her. Move on. Get your groove back. Will take months maybe a few years but you’ll be a much better man for it.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 03:40 AM
13

Fuck yes get that money. Tables turned she’d want the last hair on ya balls. Be petty.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/25 03:38 AM
9

I was young and inexperienced, trying to follow societal norms.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/25 01:28 AM
4

54% of the time, that’s exactly how it starts.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 11:26 AM
6

Don’t. Fucking. Do. It.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/25 11:22 AM
1

Women and lawyers.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 05:33 AM
1

97.4% of my mental health
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 09:40 PM
1

While screaming “you’ve changed”
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 05:07 PM
29

Here’s why women push marriage and we don’t. They want financial security in the beginning along with kids. Once they get the kids and the financial security they now have you over hot coals, feel empowered and turn into demons. Then eventually gaslight the fuck out of you and tell you you’ve changed and they want out. 78% of women initiate divorce. It’s a scam. Hold your ground. No need to have your balls in a vice-grip by her AND a fucking judge. Fuck. That. Remember, women play chess from day…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:39 PM
8

NO
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:34 PM
9

Fuck
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 11:34 PM
1

For a woman marrying a guy that is responsible and saves and invests. All the upside in the world for her. Courts will award her a life of very little stress or hours on a job. Can’t think of a fucking reason why he’d get married tho. Ask me how I know.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 05:32 AM
1

TEST. TEST. TEST.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/23 03:57 AM
2

She says you destroyed the marriage. Not sure if that’s true or not but business is business. Sell the house and get your 1/2 so you can rebuild. Don’t fall for the guilt trip. You worked hard for it, fuck that.
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 11:45 PM
3

Bitchumus Maximas
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 04:18 AM
2

Marriage is a suckers move. Zero benefits for men. We get fooled into thinking it’s about love, when it’s really about a security blanket for the woman. Shit goes south they win, things work out they win. Zero risk. Men can’t say the same. Even if you marry a wealthy woman she’ll just weaponize her financial upper hand and still want the man to pay for everything.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:32 PM
0

Such a fucking racket man.
/r/Divorce_Men11/04/23 09:28 PM
1

Absolutely!
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 07:40 PM
1

Don’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/23 05:33 AM
2

Agreed. These judges are hip to the game. Not as easy as it was a decade ago.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/23 05:45 PM
1

“Ohhh, so now you get me something nice for my birthday, funny how it takes a divorce for you to even wake up and finally give me the attention I deserve” I don’t know her…but I do know women. Don’t torture yourself. Maybe one day she’ll evolve. But then again, I don’t know the context of your divorce. If you cheated…it changes the above quote completely.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/23 10:22 AM
1

“You have to learn to get up from the table when love is no longer being served.” Nina Simone
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 01:00 AM
2

Women don’t fight fair. Fair to them is getting everything.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 02:05 PM
1

To be clear wasn’t trying to come at you. The struggle is real, I completely get it. Just making a point regarding lawyers. They’re bloodsuckers and seems foolish for her to want to give what you have to them. Why fight?
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/23 01:55 PM
0

Ya’ll broke AF. Her dumbass should just get lost. Attorney? 😂🤣
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 02:54 AM
1

Keep her working. Fuck. That. It’s a trap. If you ever get divorced she’ll weaponize the fuck out of her “lack of real world experience”
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 06:31 PM
1

I actually tell any new women I’m dating my ex wife LOVED giving head…that it was the only thing that kept me sane in the relationship. I brag about it, how awesome she was, best I’ve ever had etc…none of it is true but man does that shit work. Especially with the competitive ladies. Am I wrong for this?
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/22 04:29 AM
2

Rupert Holmes tells a tale that offers all of the answers you seek.
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 02:50 PM
1

I agree today doesn’t apply to yesterday regarding us as individuals. But collectively, like all other forms of past discrimination it is our duty as human beings to ensure we are all treated equally future forward. Gender, race, orientation. It all applies. Certainly didn’t mean to imply the same treatment that women received in the past should now be applied to us. Not my intent.
/r/MensRights04/10/22 07:11 PM
-159

Not like we men didn’t exclude women for centuries tho
/r/MensRights04/10/22 01:27 AM
2

Yes, that’s all taken care of. I just need to consult with folks who have experience, good or bad, with a Richmond Order.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:48 PM
2

A Richmond Order allows the receiving spouse to go back to the courts and request continued support, as long as they file before the agreed upon spousal support termination date. Doesn’t mean they will receive it, all depends on the circumstances involved.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 07:47 PM
1

Generally it’s all based on the standard of living while married. However, a judge would look at income and expenses for both parties so regarding child support, if it shows you’re paying $5k a month in rent and she’s paying zero living expenses you may have some leverage. But men always get fucked so who knows. Depends on the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 12:23 AM
19

And to add…don’t trust the new one no matter how much you think you love her…now…rebounds can be costly too my friend…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/22 04:26 AM
1

Don’t they always?
/r/MensRights30/08/22 09:00 PM
3

I have an attorney. Doesn’t mean they can work miracles though as they don’t have control over this overly biased and archaic process
/r/MensRights30/08/22 07:56 AM
5

Who cares what REALLY went down…love reading a post where the female is forced to fold…so fucking rare
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 11:51 AM
2

Don’t let her know she’s still living in your head rent free. No statement is the biggest statement in this case.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/22 02:43 PM
-2

What’d you do to cause her to smack you? Never stay married because of the kids. Toxic arguments fuck them up even more. If you cannot be pillars of love you’re doing more harm than good. Trust me. I stayed and regret every second of it. Divorced now and happy AF. Divorces are costly. You cannot put a price tag on sanity and eventual happiness.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 02:47 AM
6

These bitches begin relationships with a strategy well in place. And most men are too naive, young, or dumb to even see it. Listen to the last song on Dre’s 1992 classic ‘The Chronic’ …he tried to tell us LOL
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/22 05:01 AM
4

Gather no moss good brother
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 03:40 PM
2

Exactly. Such bullshit. “Girl power!” #ok
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/22 08:30 PM
3

😂
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 02:06 AM
11

I miss my balls.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 01:14 AM
7

Yeah. When you first date a woman you only meet her representative. They offer to pay, they don’t argue, come off sweet and fuck you like a dream. You then fall in love, settle down, gain a few pounds and let your guard down. And then bam…”you’re not the same sexy man I met, I want more.” Don’t let your guard down gentlemen. The beast within you that gives zero fucks should never disappear completely. Stay true to yourself, don’t be fooled and always trust your gut. When you lose yourself you lo…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 03:13 AM
3

It’s not their fault to be perfectly honest. It’s how they were raised and what culture dictates. Even in nature the females choose the strongest most dominant option. It all comes down to science. Women that stay home and raise the kids are considered honorable and hardworking. Men that stay home and raise the kids while their wives earn the bread are secretly considered weak and are judged behind closed doors. The exception being if they earned a ton of money and choose to then stay home to ra…
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/22 03:06 AM
9

Yep. I’ve seen these check box lists as well. It’s ridiculous. If you look at the mass majority of successful women…they’re dating men that are worth even more than them! Maybe that’s smart LOL because a successful man will marry a Starbucks cashier any day of the week…then watch as they destroy him in court 10 years and one month later…
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:49 PM
15

Women don’t need men anymore for financial reasons? Please point to those women cause I always handle the check on dates…to avoid the awkward silence…when it comes to money women are still in the 1940’s….everywhere else is empowerment and independence.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:31 PM
2

Your “wife” is fucking a drunk loser in your house while your kids are home and you’re saying you “might” file…I need you to read that again
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 07:27 PM
1

Because once you file you initiate the end of your financial responsibility regarding support. Although in your case your incomes are very similar so not sure there would even be any. But file. It’s the first thing your mediator will tell you to do. She had already shown you who she is. Believe her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 02:11 AM
1

File right away. Don’t wait.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/22 02:05 AM
6

Have you filed already? Quitting her job now with a child to support will not work in her favor at all. Def do a 50/50 custody…80 miles isn’t that far. Do every other week and meet at the 1/2 way mark which is only 40 miles when you do the exchange with your child.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 02:12 AM
5

Document everything and get a lawyer. Games and feelings are costly. Focus on your child, get your mental right and prepare for battle. Many have gone before you and we’re still standing. It’ll be a long road but gotta man-up. You got this.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 11:38 PM
2

Go home to the States immediately and move in with your parents. Go back to school and get a job to pay your bills and save so you can move out in a few years. You’re very young, plenty of time to recover. But get the fuck out now.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/22 02:01 AM
2

If you have the deal in writing and signed by attorneys and all parties she doesn’t have a choice.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 11:27 PM
4

Thanks. Hope so too.
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/22 08:10 PM
1

Narcissistic psychopathic women come in all socioeconomic levels. Trust me
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 04:46 PM
3

Agreed. Toxicity. He’s a good dude who works way too hard at protecting a woman who will never embrace him.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/22 04:44 PM
1

I’m realizing through these responses (which have been incredibly helpful) it’s my own insecurities that have brought me here vs society. So thank you. One life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/22 07:59 AM
2

Well put.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 07:52 PM
5

Take your time. Those are fresh wounds.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 03:27 AM
2

Out of the game because of the PTSD of divorce or because you’ve settled down?
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:21 AM
12

Ha!
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 01:11 AM
13

When she went to the bathroom recently the bartender said “another drink for your daughter” and that really set me off…I was ready to go buy a red Corvette man…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:59 AM
21

I’m 50, she’s 37. Problem is she looks 22 and I look, we’ll, 50…
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/22 12:57 AM
1

I was in the exact same position. I’m divorced but let it go on for 16 years thinking something would change. It didn’t. Only reason I stayed was for the kids. Get out of that bullshit now. You won’t regret it. You’ll have to fork over some cash for sure but cheaper to do it now than waiting…trust me.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 09:07 PM
11

For her to even make this comment is a big fat red flag my brother. Would you invest in a partnered business with those terms?
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:02 PM
8

Wifey always makes any process more difficult. It’s what they do. And they don’t know what the fuck they want man. That’s the age old problem.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 03:59 AM
1

Whatever happened to self empowerment? It’s 2022!
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 04:22 PM
1

She received enough in stock, my 401k and other assets to never work again. And that’s not including the monthly spousal support…not even close to ever having to go on government assistance. She’s the mother of my kid so I’d never want to see that happen. She’s set up nicely, IMO any extra income should come from her own efforts not mine.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 07:10 AM
1

It’s a Cali marriage…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 02:38 AM
3

Not if they’re structured correctly. Biggest mistake men make is not requiring their future gold digger to obtain an attorney to review the prenup before signing. That way they cannot use the coercion argument down the line.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 02:17 AM
3

Exactly. That’s why you have all of these gold diggers out here and that’s why the moms are always teaching their daughters to marry well. A woman marrying a rich man has zero risk…a rich man risks it all….it’s like investing in a business with 100% of your cash and bringing in a partner who offers zero capital but walks away with 50% of the profit…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 02:15 AM
2

Best move is a prenuptial agreement. Even if you’re 23 and just starting. The bad assumption is a prenup is for the wealthy. Truth is, regardless of who the breadwinner is the men always get screwed so best be protected! I’ve always heard the second time around is always better as you’ve grown and matured and you have the wisdom and research to choose more carefully.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 02:11 AM
1

This is very common as long as it didn’t happen during your marriage? Happened to me as well after my divorce. Fucked me up. Just continue to be honest with your partner(s). Give it some time, you’ll get through it. Whatever you do don’t rush into anything. Stay single as long as you can and have some fun. Try mediation as well.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 04:17 AM
5

Yes, but not sure anyone wants to marry her…she’s bitter…and it shows.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 03:33 AM
2

I’ve done that. Her business isn’t even making a profit of over $100/month. My income exceeds $2mm a year. She’s taking full advantage.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 11:24 PM
1

I’d speak to an attorney. But you only bring married for a few months works heavily in your favor. Big mistake to ever take advice from her lawyer. Regardless, the longer you stay married the more you’ll end up spending in spousal support. If you can’t get an annulment worse case is you end up giving her spousal for 1/2 the marriage. Does she work? Her income will come into play as well. File ASAP brother. And others in this thread have offered some good advice regarding the benefits offered for…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 11:03 PM
2

A few months? Get the marriage annulled.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 10:52 PM
2

I just wonder if the modification amount would be substantial enough to justify the cost and stress of a lawyer and time spent on fighting it. Hard to find data on the success rate of modifications. These laws are so archaic and seem to always benefit women. Currently with what I pay her she has zero incentive to become somewhat self-supportive. I have consulted an attorney but they are only interested in making money. They never offer any real solutions.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 10:48 PM
6

35 years is a long time. I’m not an attorney but at your age and the length of time married you’ll most likely have to pay something for life. Especially with the difference in income. However, judges are sympathetic to retirement income vs support while you’re still working and bringing in a steady income. Your child will not play a factor in the support at all obviously. I’m recently divorced and I do know you cannot put a price tag on happiness and your sanity. Get a good attorney and work ou…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/22 09:42 PM
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