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proprioceptor Archive

View 11 posts and 401 comments by proprioceptor on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

This sounds incredibly similar to me and my now husband (we've been together 11 years now). I wrestled with it a little bit too. It hurt my feelings that he didn't just "love me for me", but had a list of boxes I checked. I think it was hard for me because at that time I still was coming out of a very blue pill upbringing, where I was told my value was in different things. I still kind of wanted those things to matter to him. I realized that the things on that list were what he really wanted in …
/r/RedPillWives20/08/24 04:21 PM
2

I am so sorry. My husband and I tried for more than a year for our second baby, and it's such an emotionally stressful experience. It's definitely hard not to view any sort of infertility as a personal failure (even though it isn't). In our case the problem was my thyroid being completely out of whack. I just kept thinking "omg this is literally the one thing my body is supposed to do, why can't it get this act together?" No advice necessarily, just know that this is more common than everyone th…
/r/RedPillWives30/01/19 01:50 AM
2

I don't think this is quite on par with vaginismus, the pain really is just in my labia. Sorry for not being super clear earlier, but the tension is more in the rest of my body, not my vagina. I'll definitely talk to my gyno (thankfully I have an appointment soon). Thanks so much for the suggestions, I'm already seeing some benefit ;)
/r/RedPillWives23/01/19 01:16 AM
1

Sometimes I can get my mind in the zone enough to eventually enjoy it, but it takes so long to get my body caught up right now :( We have a huge bottle of liquid silk, it is the best! I think I'll talk to my gyno about the creams after delivery. I guess I wasn't sure if they were an option, since they are usually marketed to peri/post-menopausal women, but I'll ask for sure. Thanks for the suggestions!
/r/RedPillWives23/01/19 01:16 AM
2

I am submitting through the pain, I just wish I could pretend it didn't hurt, or figure out why it hurts. He definitely doesn't want to hurt me, but frankly the parts that hurt are hard to avoid touching in any kind of intimacy. Mental exercises and visualization sound like a really good idea though. I definitely could be tensing up and making it worse without realizing it!
/r/RedPillWives22/01/19 12:48 AM
4

I will definitely look in to all of these suggestions! It's kind of weird, I really want to be touched, but being touched is physically really uncomfortable. Like even when I want it it's hard not to instinctively recoil. We've been using lube since I was cleared for sex after my daughter was born (even when I was super horny I could not get that going). I think maybe HJs/BJs need to be where I focus. We shower together a lot, so I think I just need to make sure that I'm using that time better! …
/r/RedPillWives21/01/19 12:47 AM
2

So my husband actually does something really similar. Like you said, on the one hand it's really sweet because it's his way of being affectionate, but on the other hand it's just not my love language and so it's hard for me to want to be receptive. Add the pregnancy libido crash on top of that and I can definitely come across as being cold too! ​ Here's how I've tried to change some of it, and I think it's helping: turn around and tell him (super playfully) that this is driving you crazy and you…
/r/RedPillWives12/01/19 06:39 PM
2

Omg for real. They are so sweet!
/r/RedPillWives05/07/18 10:46 PM
11

We were watching Pocahontas this afternoon (because it is too hot to do anything outside), and Kokoum came up as a really interesting character. He's stable, very duty driven, goal-oriented, and pretty attractive. In general, not a bad embodyment of an alpha male. He was also incredibly protective. Even though he's portrayed as an overbearing insensitive man, he isn't all bad as far as marriage candidates go.
/r/RedPillWives05/07/18 08:37 PM
3

As far as healthy meals go - the more veggies I can work into it the better. For summertime I like things like BLTs, taco salads, and stir fry. None of these things take long, and it's easy to keep the staples around to make on short notice.
/r/RedPillWives08/05/18 10:36 PM
3

I am so excited - we bought a house this year, and so it has been the first time that I've been able to do my own gardening and make my own decisions about what to plant! *I'm trying to establish more perennials in our garden. So that includes lots of bulbs and other flowers. I'd like there to be constant blooming from spring to the end of summer, so I've planted daffodils, tulips, peonies, irises, lily of the valley, columbine, bleeding heart, and several other kinds of lilies. *We're still try…
/r/RedPillWives08/05/18 11:27 AM
6

I (try to) do this too - this is such an important perspective to keep!
/r/RedPillWomen28/04/18 08:38 PM
2

Agreed. I was in a situation where my employer actually did something similar, and he started to look completely ridiculous because none of what he was saying was proven to be true. If everyone else sees you being nice and hardworking, your co-worker will be the one who looks like a jerk.
/r/RedPillWives26/04/18 10:41 PM
3

I think I'm just not a very enjoyable person to be around when I'm feeling sick, so he wants me to work on my attitude. He has a lot going on right now too, so asking him to help me out with some of my respinsibilities isn't really an option. I think you're right though - I bet he would be ok with a slightly messier house if it means I'm getting things done on his to-do list :)
/r/RedPillWives07/04/18 02:43 PM
1

I think your interpretation is reaonable - it's a little of both. These aren't things that can make or break sexual attraction, but if your energy is spent and you don't feel attractive, you're going to be less receptive.
/r/RedPillWives07/04/18 01:16 AM
6

This list is interesting. All of these things are definitely things that I would like (help with chores, being listened to, etc). However, I really wouldn't see them leading to sex. I think these are things women use sometimes as excuses to NOT have sex, but I don't think their presence makes them more receptive to sex.
/r/RedPillWives06/04/18 09:26 PM
2

My strategy - say things that my great-aunt used to say! "Heaven's to Betsy" "Judas priest..." "Oh for Pete's sake" When something looks bad "Well somebody has certainly made a pig's ear of that!"
/r/RedPillWives26/03/18 01:42 PM
1

This is something I have been trying to work on as well. I'm trying to find some where between being a complete doormat (never standing up for myself when I'm being attacked, or never sharing my true feelings when asked) and being respectful of my husband as a leader in our marriage. I have a friend who volunteers with a group that teaches kids to "Stop and take a BrThRR" when they are in a situation where they worry that they will get mad or they need to think about what they're going to say. 1…
/r/RedPillWives24/03/18 11:33 AM
2

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to clarify!
/r/RedPillWives22/03/18 11:07 PM
7

Yeah, I'm definitely having trouble streamlining my days. We just moved, so I don't have the foundational organization there yet. My daughter is also going through some sort of major sleep regression, so It's a little hard to plan around her schedule. I've also been struggling with some health-related issues (I've had a pinched nerve for a while, turns out I had dislocated a rib during childbirth?! I've also had constant nausea and fatigue that looks like it's caused by thyroid issues) and somet…
/r/RedPillWives21/03/18 01:15 PM
7

I don't really have any advice, but I appreciate you asking this question. This is something that I've been wondering about in my own marriage, and I feel like I've learned a lot by reading these comments and seeing your conversations. I feel sometimes like there is no way I have enough time. I go to bed at 11, and wake up around 6, and I'm basically working during that entire time. It can be easy to get resentful when I hear my husband sitting in the next room playing video games in the evening…
/r/RedPillWives21/03/18 01:42 AM
2

I never felt like the stress of "emotional labor" came from the number of things I had to do, but more that there are so many things that need to be done basically simultaneously. And yeah, I'm only working part time outside of the home, but when I was at work before I got married, I could always leave work at work, and just focus on home when I got home. Now that I stay home part time and have a baby I feel like I'm at work 24 hours a day. I can never say "well I'll just deal with that tomorrow…
/r/RedPillWives13/03/18 01:30 PM
1

Thanks! I've been pretty diligent about tracking CM, but it's pretty crazy. I keep thinking I have ovulation pain (it feels just like it did pre-baby), and I have lots of cramping, but still no period. I know it's definitely for everybody, I'm just not sure what to expect for myself yet :) My little girl is teething, so because of that I'm not really sleeping for long enough at a time to do BBT like I had been :/ It's tough not knowing!
/r/RedPillWives03/03/18 04:16 PM
2

I'm not Catholic, but I definitely like the thouht of paying attention to saint's feast days. It provides such a great opportunity to reflect on Godly living, and I think it is a good tool for teaching some of that to kids :) I'm still in search of a good Lenten tradition for us. We do an advent wreath during advent, and I'd like to do something for this season too, but I haven't figured out quite what to do.
/r/RedPillWives02/03/18 02:15 PM
3

This article hits the nail on the head! As a guy, there really is no way to win.
/r/RedPillWives08/02/18 11:57 AM
1

thanks for letting me know - I think I assumed they would come back a lot quicker!
/r/RedPillWives05/02/18 01:22 PM
0

That's what I've been trying to do! Filling up on veggies has been a major help so far!
/r/RedPillWives02/02/18 01:36 PM
3

Right now - my major focus (with regards to my relationship) are to improve in two ways. The first, is to stay productive with repsect to my housework and getting things packed for our impending move. This means taking advantage of my daughter's naptime to do packing and cleaning, as well as doing my regular job (I work part time from home). The second is to continue trying to lose weight and improve my appearance. I still have about 15lbs of baby weight to lose, and working out has been incredi…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 08:14 PM
1

I don't mind at all! 1) Homeschooling vs traditional schooling our kids (still trying to work on this one) 2) There are some sex-related issues that have come up that I wish we had discussed beforehand. 3) Spending vs saving money. We talked a little bit about this, but when it got down to specific situations we have had some major problems. 4) How seriously we take obligations to extended family. My husband and his siblings are not particularly close, he doesn't feel a lot of loyalty to them in…
/r/RedPillWives01/02/18 03:00 PM
1

Sort of baby related (?) I'm sure that I'm overreacting, but I'm kind of nervous that my cycles haven't come back after I've stopped breastfeeding my daughter. We'd like to have our children pretty closely spaced, so I had honestly hoped that I would be pregnant by now. I have so many friends conceive WHILE they were breastfeeding, that I thought mind would just show up once I stopped breastfeeding. It's been about 3 weeks since I stopped completely, but before that I had just been nursing at ni…
/r/RedPillWives30/01/18 02:32 PM
3

You sound like me! What has helped me a lot has been to utilize my most productive time of the day, which for whatever reason happens to be in the morning. After my daughter wakes up, she plays in the living room and I'll pick up around there, maybe fold laundry while I'm watching her. Then I'll put her in her highchair, give her breakfast, and do some work in the kitchen (dishes, cleaning counters, etc). Then during her morning nap I do some chores that require a little more attention, like vac…
/r/RedPillWives29/01/18 03:23 PM
1

Well said!
/r/RedPillWives28/01/18 02:31 PM
1

One time I had a friend refer to my housekeeping as "casual". She said things were definitely clean, and everything had its place, but she never felt uncomfortable, and she was nevr worried that she or her kid were going to accidentally ruin something.
/r/RedPillWives19/01/18 06:03 PM
3

Yay!!!! Thanks for the update - I'm glad to hear things have improved!
/r/RedPillWives19/01/18 05:58 PM
1

The pastor that married us did our premarital counseling. it was maybe a little helpful (?), but it would have been more helpful if he had actually asked us some hard questions. There are some things that we have really struggled with, and I wish we had been forced to think more seriously about them before we got married. This book actually was helpful, because at the very least it brings things to your attention: https://www.amazon.com/1001-Questions-Ask-Before-Married/dp/0071438033
/r/RedPillWives18/01/18 09:52 PM
3

This is how my husband and I are - almost to a T!
/r/RedPillWives16/01/18 03:38 PM
1

These are great goals! Even 'little' ones like not sleeping in pajamas can be a nice change :) Trying something "fine dining " once a month sounds like fun, I think I'll try that! It sounds like a fun creative challenge I like your point about phone time. I goal that I've thought about adding retroactively is really minimizing social media time. I've uninstalled Facebook on my phone, and it has already made a huge difference. I check Facebook for a few minutes after my daughter goes to bed, but …
/r/RedPillWives12/01/18 01:32 PM
11

My now husband actually introduced me. What appealed to me about it was that women are held accountable. I think feminism treats women as if they can never do anything wrong, and that anything that happens to them is the fault of them men around them. I think that viewpoint is immature, and frankly it is disrespectful to women!
/r/RedPillWives11/01/18 01:07 PM
10

I second the lamp recommendation - I went to college in the great lakes region, and the constant cold/rain/snow really took a toll on me. I actually had scheduled time under my "sad lamp" during the winter months to help.
/r/RedPillWives09/01/18 09:43 PM
2

I didn't think he offered a specific solution - I think joining the marines and then getting into Princeton was just what happened to be his path. The part that stood out to me was that there's sort of a general sense of fatalism within that population that is helping to perpetuate some of the issues. Things like job availability - jobs are there, they just aren't the job they want, or when they get there they don't want to work hard enough to keep them. And he mentions that he had a lot of help…
/r/RedPillWives03/01/18 07:25 PM
2

That's fair. I think it really resonated with me because I live in Ohio, my grandparents are from Kentucky, and I see a lot of the issues he's talking about around me. I can see how that might not be as intersting to others because of that
/r/RedPillWives03/01/18 04:31 PM
2

Let me see... If you liked Night Circus you might like Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon. It's sort of otherworldly, and written in a way that evokes really rich imagery. One of the most thought-provoking books I read in the last year was Hillbilly Elegy by J.D. Vance. I live on the skirts of Appalachia, and this area has been hit really hard by economic and drug-related issues. This book is basically a memoir and a cultural analysis of why the author thinks things have ended up this way.
/r/RedPillWives03/01/18 02:54 PM
1

That sounds like a good plan - I like shifting the focus from "don't" to "do"! When I start focusing on all of the things I can't do or can't have it drives me a little crazy (especially re: weight loss). Best of luck!
/r/RedPillWives03/01/18 01:46 PM
2

I appreciate you taking the time to write this up lol I'll check some of these out! I can tell we have some overlapping taste - I've read the Night Circus and The Professor both, and really liked them.
/r/RedPillWives02/01/18 04:48 PM
3

I like that you're prioritizing stress management and quality time. I think those things go hand in hand. Those are especially important to remember during wedding planning! Also, out of curiosity, out of the 157 books you read last year, what was your favorite? I'm always looking for recommendations
/r/RedPillWives02/01/18 11:54 AM
3

Thank you so much for putting this together!!!
/r/RedPillWives01/01/18 02:38 PM
3

Knitting is a lot of fun, and there are so many things you can do with some very basic stitches!
/r/RedPillWives01/01/18 02:36 PM
3

Almost every year. In the past sometimes the goal has been to read more, but since having my baby I have a harder time staying awake very long when I sit down to read. so this year I'm going to aim for 20.
/r/RedPillWives01/01/18 12:13 PM
14

Return to pre-baby weight Read 20 books (I have this resolution every year) Succesfully plant my garden and preserve/can/freeze as much as possible. Make 4 blankets to give away (trying to channel my crochet hobby to good use) Bake cookies once a month to give to someone (shut ins from church, elderly relatives, for example) Write more thank you notes Work on finding a more constructive way to deal with my jealousy and insecurity. I think this is going to involve seeing a therapist, but the way …
/r/RedPillWives31/12/17 05:20 PM
11

Yes! I wish I had found this community when I was still single :)
/r/RedPillWives22/12/17 08:17 PM
3

Oh yeah. I work part time (from home), but that schedule is pretty flexible, so I feel like I should have an easier time keeping things pristine at home. I've decided to make my priorities 1) having a sanitary kitchen, 2) having sanitary bathrooms, and 3) having a clean living room floor for my daughter to play on, and then having things picked up, dusted, and organized comes after that. I have an 8 month old now, so I'm trying to figure out how to logistically deal with a lot of this, but that …
/r/RedPillWives18/12/17 07:13 PM
2

This sounds like a good idea. He might not think you're serious, and no matter how terrible he treats you he thinks he can apologize and then it is all water under the bridge. It might be good for you to step away. Next time he apologizes it might not hurt to say "Things still aren't ok. I need to see that you're serious, and that might take time." (worded in a way that he would be receptive to, of course).
/r/RedPillWives15/12/17 04:45 PM
2

This makes me feel better, thanks! I called my OB, and she said it might be nothing, but if it sticks along much longer she wants to check to see if things are ok with me hormonally.
/r/RedPillWives28/11/17 11:57 AM
2

Question - I recently started supplementing my 7 month old with formula, and she totally loves it. TO the point where she actually prefers it to breastfeeding most of the time. Since effectively weaning (she maybe nurses once per day), I've been SUPER nauseous and tired. Did this happen to anyone else after major breastfeeding-related changes?
/r/RedPillWives27/11/17 02:48 PM
1

I love my husband very much, but I remember being really surprised at how short-lived the honeymoon phase was. Please don't give up - I promise this will get better. Maybe take this opportunity to add the spice to the relationship! Take it upon yourself to be the spontaneous one :) I know that isn't very helpful or specific advice, but I promise you have a good deal here!
/r/RedPillWives24/11/17 12:53 AM
5

This is a good point. Granted - our current understanding of neuroscience supports the fact that people can genuinely identify as a gender different than the one that matches their genetics or external genitalia (and there are cases when even those two things don't match). However, I think there isn't always enough vetting for people considering transitioning. If you Google "transgender regret" you find lots of posts where people have undergone the surgery, and wished they hadn't months or years…
/r/RedPillWives22/11/17 03:58 PM
1

Wow - that sounds really insane...
/r/RedPillWives18/11/17 02:27 PM
2

Same! I am definitely a fan of breastfeeding, but at a certain point I think some women are cutting off their noses to spite their face. I probably didn't * need * to use formula, but my daughter wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't able to pump enough to create a surplus, so it wasn't really benefitting anyone to stick with just breastmilk.
/r/RedPillWives18/11/17 01:34 AM
1

I assume it means only breastmilk (as opposed to formula), but they have to start food at some point. I have a friend who was really bummed that her daughter showed an interest in solid food before 8 months, which really surprised me! Most babies I know are at least having little meals by 6 months to supplement liquid food. So I guess to answer your question - when I say EBF I just meant no formula, but I'm not always sure what other people mean when they say it.
/r/RedPillWives18/11/17 01:24 AM
3

Thanks for sharing this - I'm 7 months postpartum, and I was just talking to a good friend (whose little girl is 1yo) about the mommy imposter syndrome that we've been feeling. Yeah, I thouht being a SAHM would be great, but I mostly get bored and tired of baby talking all the time. When my husband gets home and asks what I've been doing all day, I feel like I just give him a list of things that I've cleaned (and then I look around at the mess and all of the things I didn't get to). I love my da…
/r/RedPillWives17/11/17 08:31 PM
1

I am a huge fan of one-pot dishes, I foret that those can be easy but still look really impressive to guests. I also never thought about having music playing at the party, per se, but I think that could be nice. Especially this time of year!
/r/RedPillWives10/11/17 02:17 PM
2

Oh wow those recipes look amazing! I also really like your suggestions so to accommodate all dietery needs. I have a friend who has recently needed to go vegan and gluten free (for medical reasons) and every time we've been to a party together she has brought her own snacks. It seems like it would be easy (and thoughtful) to have some simple options for everyone
/r/RedPillWives08/11/17 11:18 PM
3

All good ideas! I especially like that you brought up having places to set your drinks or food. That's a detail that I always notice at other people's houses, but never actually thought about at my own events!
/r/RedPillWives06/11/17 08:35 PM
2

Oh also - the single most effective dietary change that has helped me is stocking up on vegetables. Filling up on low calorie, high fiber, high nutrient food just helped me eat less higher calorie things. I'm awful at counting calories, I keep thinking about all of the things I can't have - so focusing on things that I NEED to eat helped me psychologically :)
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 01:45 PM
1

I've been struggling with this in my marriage as well. A couple of weeks ago my husband really hurt my feelings, and he could tell that I was upset afterwards. He asked what was wrong, and I told him "You really hurt my feelings." Then I explained what specifically had hurt my feelings. Honestly, he mostly shrugged it off, and told me his rationale for saying and doing what he did. I'm glad I told him how I felt, but I realized also that there is a reason behind everything he says, whether or no…
/r/RedPillWives17/10/17 12:26 PM
1

You got it, dude.
/r/RedPillWives06/10/17 01:19 AM
5

I've made similar mistakes - it's always hard. It's hard because you have legitimate reasons to be upset, but you can only control yourself, so what do you do? Be sincerely apologetic, and give him time to accept it. Sometimes it takes a little while for these things to calm down. It will get better, but hang in there :)
/r/RedPillWives03/10/17 09:00 PM
4

This sounds like a great idea - I am the worst about letting clutter accumulate, and waiting to pick things up until it becomes slightly overwhelming. An app sounds like exactly what I need lol
/r/RedPillWives08/09/17 11:46 AM
1

That's interesting that they've been formally phased out. In Ohio they're still around, but very rarely used. The hospital we had our baby in is relatively new, and they really only had room in the nursery for 1 or 2 babies at a time.
/r/RedPillWives08/09/17 01:38 AM
2

They did, but our baby stayed with me most of the time. The last night I was there the nurse took her to the nursery for a couple of hours so that I could sleep, but that was basically it. Did yours?
/r/RedPillWives07/09/17 03:29 PM
4

My husband is the same way - when i was pushing the doctor kept saying "Dad - look down, you can see the head!" and he kept saying "No thanks" lol. he needed to hold onto my leg while I was pushing, he just kept his ehes on my face or on the wall behind me the whole time :)
/r/RedPillWives07/09/17 01:37 PM
4

I absolutely wanted my husband in the delivery room with me. No doubt about it. He stayed cool under pressure, and gave me a normal perspective when I was in the throws of a lot of pain and exhaustion. Now where I differ from a lot of women, is that I didn't expect him to stay with me every night that I was in the hospital. I would have loved to have him there, but I felt better knowing that he was able to go home and get rested and get things ready for when I came home.
/r/RedPillWives07/09/17 01:36 PM
3

I'm amazed that my husband can already make my little girl (4.5mo) laugh. She really lights up when she sees him coming home from work, and loves to play with him. He is so sweet with her, and plays with her a lot and it warms my heart to see. He's also been very patient with me, as we've started trying to figure out sleep training, and I'm having a little more trouble with it than he is.
/r/RedPillWives04/09/17 03:38 PM
1

That makes sense - thats fairly similar to our marriage. We hang out together sometimes, but my trashy tv watching and crocheting time is all to myself lol
/r/RedPillWives20/08/17 03:01 AM
3

I really like this article - it points out the unfair (and unnecessary) burden that we put on our husbands without realizing it. Just for the sake of discussion - what needs are ok to have met outside of your marriage? Obviously sexual needs are off the table, but where do some of you draw that line?
/r/RedPillWives16/08/17 09:37 PM
2

Ditto - migraines prepared me well for a natural birth!
/r/RedPillWives18/06/17 11:05 AM
4

Have you thought about how you like to be comforted? or what your husband could do help you through the tough times? I ended up having weird contractions that sent shooting pain down my legs, and it helped to just have my husband put his hands on them. Not massage them, necessarily, but it felt reassuring just to have him calm me down. Also if you have a birthing ball, or access to a birthing ball during labor that could help. If nothing else it gives you another way to change positions during l…
/r/RedPillWives17/06/17 01:41 PM
5

I don't think I'm very good at comfort testing. I thing my husband tends to perceive them as shit tests and totally shut them down, so I've just stopped doing them.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/17 02:54 PM
1

My husband and I share a couple of hobbies in common, but we have a lot that don't overlap. We both really like hiking and board games, so we have a few things that we can do together. We both really like our alone time though, so we definitely have hobbies not in common which help with that. There are also a couple of hobbies that my husband has that I don't necessarily share with him, but I can help him with. For example, he's really into brewing beer (and now that I'm not pregnant anymore I c…
/r/RedPillWives23/05/17 02:05 PM
1

It actually increases activity in hunger-associated centers in the brain also. Increasing stomach acid doesn't directly impact appetite, but it is at least partially responsible for some of the stomach issues which can impact pregnancy (GERD, nausea, etc). When I was getting my PhD I worked next to a lab where they were studying interactions between hormones and appetite, so I heard about this sort of thing daily for about 5 years lol
/r/RedPillWives09/05/17 02:45 AM
2

I'm in the same boat - I gained some weight after my husband and I got married, and I gained too much weight with this pregnancy. So I still have about 40 pounds to go.
/r/RedPillWives03/05/17 03:54 PM
3

We had our baby this weekend, and my husband has been the biggest rock star of all time. From the beginning labor, through to the actual birth process, to recovery afterwards he has been.... just.... the best. I'm thinking about writing a field report about this later, but I just wanted to put out there that this weekend I realized how truly lucky I am to have the husband that I have.
/r/RedPillWives19/04/17 03:16 AM
2

That's a really good point. Basically every big decision or event that my husband and I have had to navigate, he has looked much farther into the future than I have. I bet you're right - that might be their equivalent response.
/r/RedPillWives13/04/17 02:02 AM
5

Thanks for posting - I've struggled with this during my pregnancy. I finally asked my husband if he was actually excited, and he said "Yeah, it just hasn't sunk in yet." My due date is tomorrow, and I'm just now starting to see some of his emotion show through. Also - I think so many guys end up showing their emotional responses in ways that their wives don't necessarily expect. My husband's outward emotional response duing my pregnancy is taking the form of fixing things up around the house, ma…
/r/RedPillWives11/04/17 07:06 PM
4

My husband had kind of a rough career transition this past summer - his boss was frankly just really abusive and it was a little scary trying to figure out how to get out of it. He was definitely really stressed, and his confidence was really shaken. Thankfully he has a career now that he loves and he's a much happier husband :) When things were rough I would try to do little things like cook meals and things that his mother used to make him, and I tried to always have something dessert-y around…
/r/RedPillWives07/04/17 09:41 PM
5

This is so funny, but almost a little too true....
/r/RedPillWives31/03/17 03:44 PM
10

I think that's a fair boundary to have. I don't know if my husband and I have formally discussed that as a couple, but I don't want to do anything that gives the appearance of impropriety. So even though my husband has never said "I dont' want you to be alone with another man", I probably wouldn't do that anyway because i know he wouldn't like it.
/r/RedPillWives31/03/17 01:51 AM
2

What a great idea!!
/r/RedPillWives27/03/17 07:49 PM
2

Sorry for not responding this - but thanks! I think this might be a good thing for me to do.
/r/RedPillWives24/03/17 03:25 PM
3

Yes and no. I'm glad I got my PhD, because the work that I'm currently doing part time/from home is actually really rewarding, and I'm not sure that I would be able to do that if I hadn't gotten my PhD. I also learned a lot, which was really satisfying. I also wouldn't have met my husband if I hadn't pursued this career path. However, had I known what the state of the field was before I got my degree, I probably would have utilized my time in graduate school differently. I would have focused mor…
/r/RedPillWives23/03/17 06:37 PM
5

Definitely! One reason that I'm doing the SAHM/WFHM thing right now is because the field that I had been trained in is completly saturated. I have a PhD in Biology, and the number of full-time employment opportunities are significantly lower than the number of graduates coming out each year. If I got a full time job in my field, chances are it wouldn't be in the same location as my husband's, so it wouldn't work for our family at all.
/r/RedPillWives22/03/17 10:32 PM
8

"How does flooding the market with even more workers 'help' both genders? Why do men and women have to fulfill the same roles? This just looks like another example of the war on men and women as distinct sexes with specific strengths and tradition in general." Yep - exactly. This would push a lot of people out of the job force who need to work to support their families.
/r/RedPillWives21/03/17 09:57 PM
7

This situation is kind of tricky. I think /u/Littlewifey is right - we can't tell you what these boundaries should be in your relationship, but you would probably be well-served at this point to discuss what those boundaries are, and how you feel about going forward. It seems like trust has been broken, and I think you need to think about whether or not you can move forward from here. I recently posted about my husband keeping his porn use a secret (https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments…
/r/RedPillWives21/03/17 03:20 AM
3

Working on a baby blanket using a corner-to-corner pattern. I've never tried any amigurumi patterns before, but I have a ton saved on my pinterest board and I would love to give it a shot (the Totoro one you have listed looks so cute!)
/r/RedPillWives18/03/17 01:24 PM
5

Same - bath towels, washcloths, dish cloths, and hand towels all go in the same load, separately from clothes.
/r/RedPillWives18/03/17 01:21 PM
3

I only ask him in the morning because he and I tend to plan out our respective days around that time, so we're a little more organized. Either way, I definitely need to write it down, so that I don't lose track of it! I think I might need to bite the bullet and get a planner, lately I've been misplacing my to-do lists :/
/r/RedPillWives15/03/17 09:31 PM
6

A couple of things came to mind after reading your post, hopefully these can be helpful. Appearances - I doubt that dressing in pricier clothes or going to the salon more regularly are the sorts of things your husband means. Just a hunch, but he might just mean taking better care of yourself. You mentioned that he looks at girls who wear more expensive clothes, but that seems like projection a little to me. Girls notice how much clothes cost more than guys. Losing weight and working to help your…
/r/RedPillWives15/03/17 03:47 PM
4

Gotcha. I'm at 36 weeks now, and we've had to switch things up every few weeks. As long as you're up for making adjustments you'll be good to go. Also there really is a mid-pregnancy energy burst, so hopefully that will make things easier on you too :)
/r/RedPillWives13/03/17 08:17 PM
3

We've been doing more in the afternoon/Evening when he gets home from work. Definitely a change from what we did pre-pregnancy, but thankfully there are other options ;) are you far enough along at this point that your usual positions are really uncomfortable?
/r/RedPillWives13/03/17 07:12 PM
4

Is there any way you could work online? I've done a lot of online tutoring at different points to supplement our income, and it's actually worked out pretty well. It might give you an option instead of needing to find work/daycare. Just curious, but when he says that you "being at home is the best for the children", what does he actually mean by that? Does he just mean that it's ideal for you to be a SAHM? At this point that might not be an option. Being in a family with no stability and no inco…
/r/RedPillWives13/03/17 12:50 AM
2

My husband and I didn't work in the same building when we were engaged, but he was just next door. One of the hottest things we could do was to text each other maybe once or twice during the day and talk about what to do to each other when we would get home. It's more fun, and it's something that we still do once in a while even now that I'm just working part time/ SAHW more of the time. That might be one way you can keep up the affection during the day, but be more covert about it :)
/r/RedPillWives09/03/17 02:27 PM
3

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with what you're doing, but if you're doing these things every single time you walk by his desk it might be a little over the top. How does your fiance feel about it?
/r/RedPillWives08/03/17 10:01 PM
7

^ this.
/r/RedPillWives07/03/17 10:25 PM
3

Yep - exactly. I don't think people realized that that would happen, or that it could happen again this time.
/r/RedPillWives07/03/17 08:43 PM
3

It does - it oil-based lubricants (which coconut oil is) can make little microscopic holes in the condom.
/r/RedPillWives06/03/17 08:58 PM
14

A lot of people got fired after "A Day Without Immigrants", which surprisingly didn't get a lot of media attention. My husband and I were talking about whether or not the people who initiated the protest felt any sort of responsibility towards the people who lost their jobs. Are feminists going to take any responsibility towards the women who lose their jobs by not showing up to work?
/r/RedPillWives06/03/17 04:19 PM
2

I did take that approach the first time. I asked what I could so that he didn't feel the need to do that, and he told me I hadn't been into sex enough so even though he came, he wasn't enjoying it. The next time it came up I asked what else I needed to do so that he didn't feel the need to do it, and he never really answered me. He has said that he thinks it is immoral, and that he can't really make excuses for it, but he still does it. I wanted to help him with it, but I think I've made myself …
/r/RedPillWives05/03/17 04:14 AM
1

oh but to answer your SFW questions - yeah, it felt better after a week or two. And hitting the cervix is just part of the deal with bigger guys I think. We've found that certain positions are worse at that than others with respect to that, but it isn't anything we can't work around.
/r/RedPillWives05/03/17 01:46 AM
2

Good idea lol I'd be happy to answer any of your questions :)
/r/RedPillWives05/03/17 12:17 AM
3

Sometimes it hurts more after the first time, because you can be a little more sensitive. I didn't lose my virginity to my (now) husband, but I didn't tear until he and I had sex the first time (he is much bigger than my previous boyfriend). It didn't actually hurt as bad at the time, but for a couple of weeks after that it really hurt because there was now an injury that he was basically re-tearing. Sorry if that is TMI, but I remember being kind of confused by that at the time. It definitely m…
/r/RedPillWives04/03/17 08:01 PM
2

I thought it was really sweet, and I honestly didn't expect it. Since we've been married I've just assumed that that was my job, and I've been happy to do it! I didn't realize how much something little like that can mean to him.
/r/RedPillWives04/03/17 02:31 PM
6

A couple of weeks ago my husband thanked me for taking care of all of the cooking, dishes, laundry, and cleaning while he is at work. He is working really hard to advance in his current job, and part of that includes working extra hours when needed, and being around for impromptu social events when those arise. He said a lot of his colleagues (male and female) have so much to do once they get home, that they often can't make time for that sort of thing after the work day. When he gets home, he i…
/r/RedPillWives03/03/17 08:07 PM
2

That does sound like a good idea. I know I make things a little harder on myself because I like to cook and bake and try new/complicated things. I think once my baby comes in a few weeks I might take your suggestion and pare things down - I don'twant to make things harder on myself than they need to be lol
/r/RedPillWives02/03/17 09:29 PM
9

I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who wrestles with the kitchen all day.... I feel like it's one room in my house that, although I am constantly cleaning, it is never truly as picked up as I would like.
/r/RedPillWives02/03/17 04:24 PM
2

Currently I work part time (teaching a class at a local college), but I'm still home 3 full days a week and half of 2 days a week. My day usually looks something like this: Morning: get up, get husband's breakfast and lunch ready to send with him to work, load washing machine, make bed, straighten up kitchen. Late morning/early afternoon: run errands (grocery, bank, post office, Dr.'s appointments, anything else my husband has asked me to take care of). Sometimes I meet up with friends for lunch…
/r/RedPillWives02/03/17 04:15 PM
2

I think you're right. I almost always come across it when I come in his office when he doesn't expect it, or if I wake up in the middle of the night and come out of our bedroom when he doesn't expect me to. I don't think he's deliberately leaving it out for me to see, but I think I need to just stay out of his office and away from where it has been in the past.
/r/RedPillWives01/03/17 12:49 PM
2

Honestly, I didn't have much of an issue with it initially. He said it's something that he got into the habit after he and his ex separated, but that he had cut back. Once we got married I started to realize the frequency with which he used it, and it was more than I had previously thought, and that is when this problem started. I think that's one reason I don't feel justified in asking him to stop at this point. Yes, he agreed to stop a couple of times throughout our marriage, but I think that …
/r/RedPillWives01/03/17 12:45 PM
2

Oh yeah, I think you're exactly right. I definitely think that's why he feels the need to hide it. I think just underestimated his physiological need for this, and thought it would be as easy for him to stop as it was for me to stop the things he asked me to do. I really appreciate your insight to the situation :)
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 05:04 PM
2

This analogy makes a lot of sense. I think it was just hard for me to understand how this and sex are (or aren't ) related. Thanks- this actually helps a lot!
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 03:46 PM
2

I have watched it with him a couple of times. It turned me on a little, but mostly because I was seeing him turned on in a way that I hadn't seen before. As far as acting things out - we do that almost every day. He really likes doing fetish-related things, and very often that involves acting out scenarios that he's seen. Honestly - he has asked me to do things like 'don't eat chocolate' before. Not specifically that, but similar. I have a huge amount of respect for my husband, and so even if I …
/r/RedPillWives28/02/17 03:44 PM
6

I hadn't planned on bringing it up with him, because this isn't his problem. I don't think he keeps anything else from me, I think it's just this. The more I read from other people's responses, I think I'm just very seriously overreacting.
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 08:50 PM
5

Good idea - I will give it a try!
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 08:46 PM
5

Thanks - I'm starting to get kind of nesty, and I know there are some baby-related things that I'm worrying about a little prematurely. This is probably just another one of those things :)
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 07:06 PM
6

Also I'm hesitant to say we have a great sex life. I'm doing everything I can, but I'm worried that it might not be great enough for him.
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 07:04 PM
11

Yep - I'm fully aware this is a me problem. I think at this point it I feel negatively towards it because 1) I'm pregnant and feel completely disgusting. So many women say they feel glowing, or super beautiful. I have not found that to be the case. Seeing him masturbate to other women just makes that sting a lot more. 2) I'm a little nervous that he might feel compelled to hide other things from me, and I'm embarassed that I've set that tone in our relationship. 3) Now that we're getting ready t…
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 06:46 PM
5

I hadn't said anything to him about it in a few months, and honestly I think I'll keep it that way. Like I said in my post, I know that trying to get him to stop isn't a good thing for me to try to do. I know this is a problem with me, so I will keep working on my jealousy. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives27/02/17 06:38 PM
10

Thanks for posting :) We're getting ready to have our first baby in about 6 weeks, and I'm trying to make sure that I don't lose sight of this.
/r/RedPillWives24/02/17 03:45 PM
2

When we start feeling kind of stuck we just need to get out of the house. Sometimes that's a date night, but sometimes it's also just finding a park to hike in or a cool store to go to. I think just finding something new is key for us. Your options might be a little limited with this respect because you have a kid, but my husband and I also really like picking a TV show that we binge-watch over a period of time. We've watched a few different anime, we've watched a few sci-fi series, but also som…
/r/RedPillWives21/02/17 11:26 PM
3

Definitely. I wasn't trying to insinuate that her daughters couldn't have liked it for honest reasons, but her language in the article sounds like she was trying to blame it on someone else.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/17 08:58 PM
9

Also - "my daughters have wholeheartedly embraced all the pink and princesses and rainbows and butterflies and all of the other “girlie stuff” that has been marketed to them since before they were old enough to even tell us what they like" This sounds like she has no agency or accountability over how her princesses became princesses.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/17 03:32 PM
11

You're so right. This is a great example of "We want equality..... wait no not like that!". If it's something they want - it is equality and it is owed to them. If it's something they don't want - it's oppression from the patriarchy.
/r/RedPillWives17/02/17 03:30 PM
4

I especially like the idea of your parents making you explain why you held a particular opinion. That seems like a really good way to teach critical thinking!
/r/RedPillWives04/02/17 03:59 PM
3

That sounds like a lot to manage (calorie counting, portioning his plate). My husband has asked me before if I can help him with specific things in his diet, but he usually gives me pretty general guidelines to follow. I know with my own weight loss and meal planning I've followed a few rules of thumb, maybe that would be a place to start. *As far as portioning plates, I make sure mine is half veggies (especially green veggies, potatoes don't count :P ), then a serving of protein, then a starch.…
/r/RedPillWives27/01/17 03:18 PM
2

That sounds like a good idea. I run, but I don't typically want to run when I'm upset. That being said, every time I do run, I always feel better. No matter what. I might just need to make myself. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 02:41 PM
2

Alright.... I've picked up my copy. It's next on my list of books to read!
/r/RedPillWives07/06/16 09:59 PM
3

I really like Azumanga Daioh. I'm not sure I would totally describe it as uplifting, but it's adorable and hilarious. My husband actually introduced me to it, we had a lot of fun watching it together :)
/r/RedPillWives07/06/16 01:24 AM
3

Sometimes I do go for a walk and listen to music or an audiobook, or call someone to talk about something unrelated as a sort of distraction, but I've never tried actively meditating. It might be something I need to look into! Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWives04/06/16 10:42 PM
1

Yeah, in this case it was definitely my pride. I think I probably needed to be humbled and to be more objective. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 08:36 PM
2

Ha! I love it. It sounds like a good way to distract yourself and calm down :)
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 08:34 PM
1

That sounds like a great read! I'll look into it. Also please do write a post, I'm sure that's something that would be beneficial for all of us :)
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 08:33 PM
2

I actually need to pick up a copy of The Surrendered Wife and read it. That seems like a good way to communicate feelings without escalating the situation. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 08:33 PM
2

I've gotten pretty good at this, I think my bigger issue is that I sometimes let it build up and have an outburst later. I think removing myself from the situation is probably a good place for me to start though. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWives03/06/16 08:31 PM
3

I'm happy to see that you've written this. I also love my alone time, but I realized recently that I am often filling my alone time with non-constructive (and sometimes self-destructive) behavior and activities. This post really helps me put this into perspective. Whether it's reading, or cleaning, or cooking, or working out, or self-care, there are always productive things to do.
/r/RedPillWives11/04/16 03:58 PM
5

Welcome to Night Vale is wonderful, I second that recommendation :)
/r/RedPillWives07/04/16 01:20 PM
4

It is such a cool show!
/r/RedPillWives04/04/16 01:56 PM
2

My aunt and my mom recently got into an argument about this. My aunt said something to the effect of "there is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." Which really caused my mom (and me, for that matter) to bristle. My mom pointed out that she felt that everyone should help everyone, independently of their gender. She had a similar conversation with me when I was choosing a lab to join in grad school. When I didn't choose a female mentor she scolded me. I told her, I chose…
/r/RedPillWomen14/03/16 09:38 PM
16

Remember, it is also Pi(e) day. Baking a pie wearing nothing but an apron should also be on the list of activities.
/r/RedPillWomen12/03/16 11:23 PM
5

I like the point they're making here. Something that I keep forgetting and keep underestimating is what a difference you can make by treating your husband well at home. Even if you're not treating him like a guest, you should treat him like you want him there, and like you're happy when he comes home. Thank you for sharing this :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/03/16 03:37 AM
3

Yeah, I've had to get used to this. Validation always feels good, and I need to get used to doing what I need to do even when that validation isn't there. It's so tempting to just seek validation from my coworkers, and really enjoy it over the actual satisfaction of doing what I'm supposed to do. Thanks for posting. It's definitely something that a lot of us need to work on!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/16 09:59 PM
1

With these ones it's actually ok to read them sort of out of order. They stand on their own pretty well.
/r/RedPillWomen27/02/16 10:47 PM
1

I just finished "When Breath Becomes Air" by Paul Kalanithi. He was a neurosurgeon, and he started to write it after he was diagnosed with terminal cancer. I wouldn't classify it as self-improvement per se, but it's really about the search for meaning in life. It was very sad, but definitely worth the read.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/16 09:46 PM
2

Yeeeeesss! I just read Mort and it was hilarious.
/r/RedPillWomen20/02/16 09:42 PM
1

I made reservations at a cook restaurant that we haven't tried before. My husband reads this page sometimes so I don't want to go into too much detail, but I'll have a surprise for him on the way there, and he'll continue getting hints about it throughout the evening until we get home. Then he'll get his real present ;)
/r/RedPillWomen31/01/16 03:18 AM
1

How about soups? Pureed veggies can sometimes be easy to sneak into soup. Especially if it's tomato-based, because then the color will sort of hide it. Do you know if he likes chili?
/r/RedPillWomen23/01/16 04:51 AM
5

I'm with you - if he's in his mid-20s and has had 40+ partners, I don't feel very confident that I would be the one to end his momentum with others.
/r/RedPillWomen21/01/16 02:55 PM
1

I think you're trying to implement some of the right things, but your attitude is a little off. I definitely agree with what the other ladies have posted here, but i want to share something that was helpful for me when I started trying to implement an RPW attitude in my relationship. Initially, my expectations were "He likes x. Therefore, if I do x, he will do y for me." That attitude ALWAYS results in disappointment, because it misses the point. It turns your relationship into a competition tha…
/r/RedPillWomen10/01/16 05:52 AM
1

I feel the same way. In a way that I can't really put a finger on it, I feel a lot better when I'm not on the pill. However, right now my husband and I really don't want to get pregnant, so I'm on the pill. I've tried a lot of different types: normal combined hormone oral, progestin only oral, nuvaring, and they've all worked pretty well. However, it's important to let your doctor/partner know if you're having side effects, they might be able to suggest an alternative. Have you looked at natural…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 05:55 AM
2

Nice! Taking those little steps to help his day start out really make a difference. And congrats on the part-time opportunities! I hope things go well with those, and you get things settled :)
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/16 05:00 AM
1

That's great! I'm really happy to hear that it went so well :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/16 03:00 AM
3

This sounds VERY similar to the first time I went out to meet my (now husband's) family. We had been dating for about that time, but we had already had a serious talk about the direction our relationship was going. I got a little bit of shock from my friends, and a lot from my family. They said the same things yours said "Wow, that's really soon!" No one can make that call but you. If you feel like it's time to meet the parents, it's time to meet the parents! Hope your meeting went well :)
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/16 05:29 PM
2

This week I went on a nice long run, which felt good, but now that the temperature has dropped I'm having a lot of trouble getting out there to run. I need to find alternative ways to get my cardio workouts in, and that's been my biggest struggle, and where I need to improve. I'm currently trying to make one of my mother-in-law's recipes that my husband really likes. They're yeast rolls, but the recipe is really versatile, and can be used for coffee cake, beiroks, or just as little clover rolls.…
/r/RedPillWomen05/01/16 04:10 PM
4

I was in this position last semester! We moved for my husband's job, and so I was temporarily unemployed also. I have an adjunct job now, but I learned a lot about myself during my time as a SAHW this fall. I try to wake up with my husband and get his breakfast and lunch ready. That way when he leaves, he's got coffee in the thermos, and his lunch is packed. It helps his day start easier, and it has helped save us some money. Make sure that you're still taking care of yourself intellectually. Wh…
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/16 02:23 PM
1

Health (physical): I need to make running a priority once again. When I run better, I eat better, I feel better, I look better. It works for me, I just need to keep it up! Health (mental): In the same way that running tends to help everything fall into place for me physically, reading does that for me emotionally. This year I want to read 35 books total. Last year I read 21, but I think I can up the volume if I make it a priority. Finances: I definitely need to be more thrifty. We want to save f…
/r/RedPillWomen03/01/16 02:39 PM
5

Har har... red pill ;)
/r/RedPillWomen16/12/15 05:53 PM
1

No problem! I ended up getting mine trimmed at some point before it was at the final length, and then they added the layers. I didn't do that on purpose, but looking back I'm glad I did. That way I wasn't in limbo while I was waiting to grow it out.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/15 02:49 AM
1

So this actually happened with me and my husband too. My hair is really fine, and if it gets too long it can look sort of thin. I ended up saying something to the woman who cut my hair, and she pointed out that adding layers can help to give it a little more body. There are also different types of shampoo that can work to help it to stay healthy and full. Hope this helps!
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/15 05:48 PM
2

I think you're good to point this out. How you (OP) act in this situation is going to play a large role in how he's going to discuss things with you. Even without saying anything, you can really influence how he might react in this situation.
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 10:19 PM
1

HAHAHA!!!! That's so great. They really are basically the same thing
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 02:48 AM
1

nom nom brunch nom nom I second the quiche recommendations already mentioned here. One of my favorite brunch items is eggs benedict. If you can poach an egg and toast an english muffin, you're most of the way there! The tricky part is often making the hollandaise sauce, but I've used this recipe before and it's pretty forgiving. http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/tyler-florence/hollandaise-sauce-recipe.html
/r/RedPillWomen22/11/15 01:39 AM
1

I don't necessarily have any advice to provide, I just want to say thank you for posing this question. My husband and I are getting ready to start our family, and I worry about how to nurture my future children while still emphasizing masculinity/femininity. I'm learning a lot from what the ladies here have been posting, as well as from your experiences. so.... thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen18/11/15 01:06 AM
2

I'm getting back into running after a fairly lengthy break. Something that helps me is just making sure that I get out and walk at some point during the day, even if it's just for 30 minutes. If you have a good stroller, you can bring your baby :D Something that has helped me is to listen to audiobooks while I work out. It gives me something to focus on when the workout starts dragging, or if I get bored. Audible.com has a cool app and program where you can pay $15/mo and get credit for an audio…
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 04:16 AM
1

I'm happy that I could help! :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 04:08 AM
2

I definitely underestimated how much of a difference it makes. I'm happy that I could help :)
/r/RedPillWomen12/11/15 04:07 AM
6

Aww that's very sweet. It sounds like your love languages are very complementary - when he can help you by doing acts of service, it frees the two of you up for more quality time!
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/15 11:05 PM
2

Wow, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/15 11:02 PM
2

Initiating more physical contact, and more actively participating, rather than just responding to him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/15 09:20 PM
1

I try to make sure that I have coffee ready for him, and when I can I try to make sure that I have something baked that he can either eat with him here, or take with him and eat in the car on his way. When I can, I try to pack his lunch so that it's ready to go when he leaves for work.
/r/RedPillWomen04/11/15 10:32 PM
3

I usually saute them on the stovetop, so that I can keep a better eye on them and adjust the seasoning as it goes. I don't know if they would burn in the oven or not, but if you keep an eye on them I bet they'd be ok.
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/15 10:09 PM
5

Hope you guys like them! The recipe you posted looks really yummy too, I think I might give them a try!
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/15 07:28 PM
17

My husband really likes these sweet potato and black bean burritos. They have lots of meat spices (cumin, cayenne, etc), and the beans are really hearty so it is very satisfying. They're actually on the menu for us this week! http://tastykitchen.com/recipes/special-dietary-needs/vegetarian/roasted-veggie-and-black-bean-burritos/
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/15 07:17 PM
3

If you're interested in something savory, pumpkin is really nice in creamy pasta sauces. I can't remember exactly which recipe I used, but something like this can be really nice if you have some leftover pumpkin!
/r/RedPillWomen30/10/15 12:47 AM
2

Yeah, it isn't relationship related, but I still think that this is an ok place to ask it! I've struggled with anxiety for a long time. Have you tried aromatherapy bath products and lotions? Sometimes I like to take a bath with some nice extra things that smell really nice, and then I sit and try to do something to help you escape. For me, it's usually reading, or crocheting, or knitting, or writing in a journal. Also if you have some really comfortable jammies, it can be really great. That way …
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/15 03:40 PM
2

I was in a situation that was similar, and let me be the first to say that I am so sorry that you're dealing with this right now. What helped me was to view myself as a self-improvement project. I took up a hobby (running), that I could do on my own. I'm sure at this point you feel pretty de-valued because of how he treated you, so do something to boost your confidence that doesn't require external validation. Running helped me with that, a lot. Not because anyone told me I was doing a good job …
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/15 08:21 PM
3

This time of year, I really like focusing on crafts that I can turn into Christmas gifts. I know it seems early, but it's really the best way to get them all done in time for December. Lately I've been doing crocheting and crafting Christmas Ornaments. Another hobby is running for me, definitely. I've been trying to work on that every day :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/09/15 09:24 PM
1

Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen19/09/15 02:05 AM
1

My waistline doesn't need any more bread either, but my husband loves it so much I want to keep up the baking for him. Baked oatmeal sounds really tasty though, and it seems like something that I would be good for me!
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/15 04:44 PM
2

I do not have a kitchen scale, but with some of these tasty recipes I think I might have to!
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/15 04:42 PM
1

Oh this is really cool, thanks! Sourdough is definitely something I'd like to try, but haven't yet.
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/15 10:41 PM
2

I definitely understand that. No shame in getting some of your work out of the way ahead of time :)
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/15 03:21 PM
2

One thing that might save you some time could be to keep some prepared food in the fridge. My mom always kept ground hamburger and grilled chicken breads in servings in the fridge so that if my dad came home at a weird time (he's a farmer, harvest and planting seasons can be rough on his schedule). With the already cooked meat you can make a soup, sandwich, or prepare some other quick things to go with it. Add some steamed or sauteed veggies or a salad and you'll have a nice meal!
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/15 04:15 AM
2

I'm not sure if this is something that you already have or not, but one of my favorite things right now is my recipe organizer. I got it a couple of years ago from my aunt, and I can fill it with recipe cards, cutouts from magazines, printed recipes, extra cards, and it even holds my grandma's old "Ball Canning" book. It's sturdy and holds a lot! Here's a link to the same one that I have - http://www.amazon.com/Meadowsweet-Kitchens-Accordion-Recipe-Organizer/dp/B000KFXPGG/ref=pd_sim_79_1?ie=UTF8…
/r/RedPillWomen14/09/15 04:11 AM
2

That recipe sounds wonderful! And they look very pretty. I might have to borrow this from you. I think saying "I was making some cupcakes and saved some for you." I'm pretty introverted, so when I did something like this for my husband after we started dating, I wasn't comfortable passing telling him that I had just made it for him.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/15 01:12 PM
2

I'm not quite in the same boat that you are, but I was surprised how short the honeymoon phase actually lasted. It isn't necessarily indicative that something is wrong, although it can definitely feel that way. It was nice of him to message you to show that he cares :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/09/15 07:37 PM
4

That's so sweet of him though. That's the sort of thing my dad used to do for my mom. Even if it wasn't quite right, my mom knew how much he went out of his way to help her, and was so grateful for that by itself. She has never been hypercritical of my dad, but always appreciates what his intentions were.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/15 01:06 AM
2

I usually test between an INTJ and an INTP. I don't know if I've taken any tests pertaining to A vs T though. I'll have to check that out!
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/15 01:03 AM
7

My grandma was a doctor, and she said that being on call definitely placed pressures on her that were out of the ordinary. However, when she was home, she gave everything to her kids and her husband. She was always there to make dinner (even if the babysitter had to start it), she kept the garden full, and she took time to be there for her family. My grandpa was also a doctor, and so her schedule was like. However, she went out of her way to make sure she was taking are of him. He loved brownies…
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/15 02:00 AM
3

I don't
/r/RedPillWomen02/08/15 02:44 AM
3

I don't want to insult your intelligence. I assume you've already tried telling him what you like/where you like it/when you like it. Sometimes (more often than not) it takes me a long time to cum also. I don't know if this works for you, but my husband and I sometimes do it twice in a row, and by the second time I've had enough time to work up to an orgasm. Another way I get around it, is that sometimes I'll give my husband a blowjob and then that can buy me a little time later during sex. I ge…
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/15 02:58 AM
1

Definitely a slow process, and often an uncomfortable process. But temporary discomfort and patience are definitely worth it to have a trusting relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/15 02:34 PM
3

My SO loves it when I cook for him. Sometimes he requests specific things, but he also has told me that he really likes it when I surprise him. Tonight, for example, I plan on being there and having dinner hot and ready for him when he gets home from the gym. He knows what's for dessert, but that's it :) I really enjoy doing things for him (like cooking for him and feeding him) and he really enjoys being fed, so we both win ;)
/r/RedPillWomen29/04/15 06:11 PM
1

I'm not sure there is anything else you can do, to be honest?
/r/RedPillWomen17/04/15 08:56 PM
8

I definitely think so. Submission and support frees him up to do what he wants to do naturally, which is usually to lead and make decisions. If you can create an environment that is conducive to that then you can both be the best version of yourselves :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/04/15 02:30 PM
7

If you have read much around this sub, you've probably noticed a lot of the advice women are given about keeping a low partner count, and not being promiscuous, and being devoted to your partner. Not only do you have a promiscuous history, you've had a promiscuous history WHILE MARRIED TO YOUR HUSBAND OF 6 YEARS!!!! Your second step was to improve yourself, your first step was to go outside of the marriage. That speaks volumes about your personality and how you respond to crises. You've certainl…
/r/RedPillWomen14/04/15 05:28 PM
5

I'm really happy for the two of you! Thanks so much for sharing :)
/r/RedPillWomen10/04/15 03:03 AM
3

I don't think it's a requirement to have children in order to be RPW, but it is a requirement that you two be in agreement about whether or not you want kids. For a couple of reasons, but the biggest one is so that you dont' become resentful towards one another later if you decide you do/don't want any.
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 02:37 PM
3

lol @baby-rabies
/r/RedPillWomen08/04/15 12:06 AM
2

:(
/r/RedPillWomen07/04/15 12:48 AM
1

It's my favorite. My fiance will even look at it sometimes and send me requests for dinner :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/15 04:14 PM
2

Have you visited the /r/eatcheapandhealthy ? It's full of good ideas!
/r/RedPillWomen04/04/15 11:54 AM
2

What an awesome blog!!! Thanks for sharing, Tempest :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/04/15 03:49 PM
5

I think that's definitely true. Something I wish she had addressed in this article is that it's important to take care of yourself as a part of taking care of everyone else. I have a few friends who have been stellar stay at home moms. However, one of them is starting to become resentful of her husband. I think a large part of that has to do with waking up before everyone else, putting on what is basically her uniform, and then working non-stop until everyone goes to bed. If you think about it, …
/r/RedPillWomen02/04/15 03:14 PM
2

It sounds like you need to boost your confidence. I'll second what /u/pcadrian said, and it might be good for you to start lifting or running or something like that. I'm a woman, but I feel like I sort of reached a similar slump a couple of years ago, and I know that working out and being able to master something like that (in my case it was running, in my fiance's case it was lifting) really helped. Also - at 29, you're still a great age to meet women. I know most 29 yo women that you'd be inte…
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/15 10:59 PM
4

I think it's something both of you need to agree on, but I think that it might be worth looking into things you can do with your degrees from home or part time. That might be a way to give you both what you want. My SO and I recently had a discussion about what it would look like when we have kids. I worry about being out of the workforce, but we both want me to be home with our kids. Thankfully, I think I've found a way to make it work, but it has taken some planning.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/15 10:41 PM
2

That sounds good. Let is know if it works/doesn't work :)
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/15 07:07 PM
6

You might just need to ignore him. It sounds like he might take any sort of response as affirmation that you still want to maintain communication, despite the fact that you blocked him.
/r/RedPillWomen30/03/15 06:57 PM
3

Honestly - just be upfront with him about your number of sexual partners when he asks. Don't view it as "making him earn it", because that can set up sort of an unhealthy relationship dynamic.
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/15 05:15 AM
3

I don't think he needs advice from you at this point, just make a safe place for him to come home to. Because he is in conflict with so many people, what he probably needs now more than anything is for you to just be "on his side". If he can't depend on his parents, or his friends, you need to be steady and constant for him. Not that you would necessarily be nagging, but if he's having trouble with other people than he might view some of your well intended advice as nagging or criticism. Just ke…
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/15 03:03 PM
3

lol yeeeesssss. This is the best.
/r/RedPillWomen26/03/15 01:03 PM
2

Oh my goodness... how had I never come across Le Bomb Shop?! Thanks so much for posting!
/r/RedPillWomen24/03/15 08:26 PM
1

If I were you, I would start lifting and doing cardio. Cardio will help to take away belly fat and most of the unflattering weight, but doing heavy weight lifting like squats will actually make your butt look great. Definitely keep initiating sex, but work to improve your appearances also.
/r/RedPillWomen20/03/15 03:42 PM
5

My mom and dad both worked full time, my dad working longer hours than my mom. She would work 9-ish hours a day, and she often had grading and things to do after she got home. My dad is a farmer, so he was working.... always. One of the things my mom did was to have one of my older cousins come over and hang out with my brother and I while she started dinner and started laundry and things. I also remember that there were a couple of times when my grandma came over and picked up our laundry to do…
/r/RedPillWomen19/03/15 05:06 PM
1

It sounds like this is a good opportunity for you to pick yourself up and move on. It sounds like you know what changes you need to make, and if you hold on to a lot of contempt for him it will just hold you back. Cutting off ties will give you a graceful new start.
/r/RedPillWomen18/03/15 01:27 PM
5

Meetup.com. Seriously. It's basically designed for people (like you and I) who aren't really sure how to meet people, so people are generally very friendly and welcoming. Especially if you're in a city, you'll be able to find something that has a common interest with a particular meetup group :)
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/15 06:19 PM
1

Awesome - thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/15 01:44 PM
1

It doesn't look like the actual article is linked, just an image of "The Crazy Cycle". Could you re-post it?
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/15 01:18 PM
2

I'm so excited that it's finally warmish where I live, so that I can get out all of the cute skirts and dresses :)
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/15 11:42 PM
3

Leading up to Valentine's day, there were lots of posts with really no substance. She also posted a lot of things that were really fluffy. She also had a post about the stance RPW should take on vaccination (which was full of misinformation, and offended me as a scientist). In general her posts really fell away from helpful and practical posts that we need and enjoy.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/15 02:37 PM
1

Yeah, I tried to explain this to one of my guy friends once. He said it was misogynist and asked me never to talk to him about any of it ever again. He said the same thing about all manosphere writing that he came across, with the exception of one specific blog. I think it's something that a lot of guys don't want/think they want.
/r/RedPillWomen15/03/15 01:25 PM
3

Thanks for letting us know. I had been wondering about some of the more recent posts, and was sad to see them becoming less and less constructive. I'm happy to see that you've taken it back over :)
/r/RedPillWomen13/03/15 02:04 PM
6

It too bad that he has no one who can help share the load. I wonder - if you're at home now, are there any secretarial things that you coudl do to help him out at work? I have no idea what sorts of company he is running, but there might be something that you could do there to help out. You mentioned that he loves the fresh air and walks outside. I'm not sure what the weather is like where you are, but would you be able to have a picnic for dinner or lunch? That might make him feel less anxious a…
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/15 03:34 PM
2

Thank you for posting this. It sounds like my SO has a similar "issue" after weight lifting, and I'm happy to see another woman looking to find a solution. This is one of the reasons that I LOVE this subreddit. I'll be taking advantage of some of these suggestions myself!
/r/RedPillWomen10/03/15 03:10 AM
2

You're 19. Very few people have everything figured out by then. I don't know that being single at 19 is a sign of you needing help.
/r/RedPillWomen03/03/15 03:11 PM
1

Ugh... prelims.... best of luck! What is your field of study? I think if you do something with/for him each day it will help you keep your connection with him and it will help you turn up the volume after your prelims are over!
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/15 04:31 AM
1

I'm in PhD program - I know where you're coming from. I'm in the fourth year and my program and, at this point, I"m spending a lot of time writing as well and pretty stressed out with trying to graduate. However, I made the decision a year or so ago that, regardless of what else was going on, I was going to make my SO more of a priority. Even during really busy weeks, I try to cook for him, and spend a couple of nights with him just doing something fun for the two of us, etc. In addition to bein…
/r/RedPillWomen02/03/15 04:03 AM
4

Look into some groups outside of your department. I know how you feel. I'm in a PhD program and I realized about a year and a half ago that I really only knew my cohort of graduate students, and so I needed to branch out. Look into sports teams, but also look into Meetup groups (www.meetup.com). I met my fiance through a meetup group, on the first meeting I attended!
/r/RedPillWomen24/02/15 02:52 AM
4

Some of the things that you're talking about are things that I've struggled with, definitely. A couple of ideas If you get sort of rebellious when you drink, maybe have someone around to make sure that you dont' get to that point. About 9 months ago I made the decision that I wasn't going to drink, except around someone who I knew would feel comfortable telling me when I'd gone too far. It does sound like he said some pretty hurtful things, but I dont' think that's any worse than what you've don…
/r/RedPillWomen23/02/15 02:44 PM
3

Use your judgement. I just meant that saying "Oh you want a relationship? I want a relationship too!" might not be a very good screening process.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/15 05:43 PM
3

If you're looking for a solid RP guy, I'd maybe hold out on sex a little longer. I know lots of girls who have that conversation, say they both want a relationship, but you need to give them time to let their actions speak.
/r/RedPillWomen18/02/15 03:54 PM
1

No problem! You aren't alone here :)
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/15 08:58 PM
1

Well said. Actions speak louder than words.
/r/RedPillWomen16/02/15 03:49 AM
3

it sounds like he wants to help you improve, which shows good leadership on his part! What if the two of you develop a signal or code word or something when he feels like you're starting to talk too much? That way it could help you to be more aware of it, and gives hin a tool to help you. My SO and I do something similar when I'm getting flustered.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/15 10:28 PM
2

Your sister reminds me of one of my roommates. She dated pretty casually, and was actually pretty anti-LTR for a while. She was 26 also, but kept saying "I'm too young for that, I'm not in a hurry, I don't need that right now". Her attitude has taken a complete 180 since she started dating her current boyfriend. She told me not too long ago "I get what you've been saying this entire time." I don't think she knew what she wanted, but once she had a guy in her life that she loves and wanted to mak…
/r/RedPillWomen11/02/15 06:56 PM
1

I don't get to see my future mother-in-law very often, but I try to keep the lines of communication open by calling her once in a while to see how things are going. I think showing a sincere interest in a personal relationship will go along way.
/r/RedPillWomen08/02/15 10:43 PM
3

I just came off of some anti-anxiety medication, so hopefully I can provide some insight into how my fiance and I worked through it. The medicine was helpful for putting the panic attacks at bay long enough for me to regain control of myself. One thing that my fiance and I both tried to keep an eye on is the side effects. Libido issues, stomach issues, and sleepiness were all side effects that I struggled with. Honestly, this provided an opportunity for my fiance to show off how good he is at ta…
/r/RedPillWomen07/02/15 06:19 PM
4

When I started actively trying to implement RP practices in my life, the biggest trick I used was making sure that I gave myself time to think before I reacted. The next biggest change I made is making sure that I do what I can to make my fiance's life better/easier. Even if they're little things, making sure you keep that goal in mind has really helped me keep things in perspective and it's becoming more natural and more of a habit. Hope this helps!
/r/RedPillWomen06/02/15 03:08 PM
1

That's so awesome!
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/15 01:50 AM
2

Fancy dinner on Friday night, and then hiking on Saturday!
/r/RedPillWomen04/02/15 01:49 AM
1

Yes, thanks for clarifying for me :)
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/15 05:43 PM
1

finding someone you trust is key here. Someone who, even when you're not with them, you know they have your best interest at heart and that you can depend on. Also I concur what people are saying about not letting the high school relationship bring you down too much. I've been out of high school for more than 10 (eek!) years now, and I've seen a lot of changes in myself and my classmates for the better. You're alright ;-)
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/15 04:18 AM
5

This is a really good point. I'm really glad that a lot of the discussion here is addressing inner beauty and feminine personality, instead of just the outer changes. I'm coming out of a pretty serious depression. I think a lot of what has helped me is making sure that each morning, I will control what I can control, and my attitude towards my fiance is at the top of that list. When I make that my priority, my attitude towards myself falls naturally into place.
/r/RedPillWomen03/02/15 01:28 AM
3

You pose and interesting question. I use a lot of social media, but I almost never post pictures of myself. One of my good friends from home, however, does almost daily. I think in her case she was miss popular in high school (almost 10 years ago) and now she's missing out on some of that attention. It honestly only comes across as immature, and sort of drives me crazy. I think a good way to put it in terms of "rules for RPW" might be this - make sure you take care of your self, and make sure yo…
/r/RedPillWomen02/02/15 02:27 PM
5

Exactly. It probably just takes more time and effort to take care of these things than it did in your early twenties, but all that means is you need to start putting more time and effort into it.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/15 04:03 PM
1

I think if you click on the little envelope icon you can send a PM
/r/RedPillWomen11/01/15 06:26 AM
1

Hmm.... I'll PM you with some more info!
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 07:38 PM
1

I was definitely less RP then, and more BP/equality. I was 19 and really didn't understand what was important in a partner and what wasn't. I thought that as long as I was pretty steadfast with my faith he would be supportive. In the end though he really just ended up being sort of 2-faced about it. I definitely learned a lot from that relationship, including what not to do, and what not to settle for. Don't worry, that's a legitimate question, I don't feel attacked :)
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 02:47 PM
1

It is definitely harder, I'll give that to you. My advice would be to get involved wherever you can, and the RP/BP differences will sort of come to light as you get to know people. You aren't alone here, for sure :) Are you a member of a denomination that is more BP or RP?
/r/RedPillWomen09/01/15 02:44 PM
2

The quote that you mention above is referring to a previous relationship. I'm engaged to a guy who IS a Christian, which is who I'm referring to in the second part of that comment. He's the one who introduced me to RP, and takes his role as a Christian husband very seriously.
/r/RedPillWomen08/01/15 02:24 PM
2

One my former employers (female) was telling me about a period of time where she was the sole breadwinner in her house, and it was exhausting. I remember her telling me "I don't know how men do it, I never want to be in that position again." It's especially interesting because she is a super feminist, and had also told me about how she never wanted to be dependent on a man for anything. If I knew then what I know now, I would have had a hard time keeping my mouth shut!
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 08:52 PM
7

He kept saying "I'm not sure I'm ready to go to church with you yet", and never really stepped up. He also started saying some really nasty things about Christians to other people, and when I would ask him if that's what he really thought he'd say "Well except you." A number of other things happened that contributed to me not wanting to move forward with him, but realizing that we were probably never going to be on the same page about what religion that we were going to bring up our children in.…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 08:42 PM
13

I think you'll find the "girl next door" type who might not be religious, but in general, the more seriously a woman takes her religion the less seriously they'll be interested in a non-religious guy. For example - I dated a guy for 4 years who would probably be described as agnostic, at least. I didn't really think that would bother me when we got into the relationship, but the longer it went on the less I trusted his ability to lead our potential family in a direction that I was comfortable wi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/01/15 08:04 PM
2

I second the recommendation "For Men Only" and "For Women Only"! My fiance and I read through those last year, it was really helpful when we were trying to understand each other's priorities and how we communicate.
/r/RedPillWomen06/01/15 08:00 PM
3

I second the recommendation for a new therapist. I've been having a lot of trouble with depression and anxiety, and it's really helped having a therapist whose gut reaction isn't just to tell me to dump my boyfriend when he isn't compassionate enough. Guys have limitations too, and if your therapist can help you specifically with how you can help you understand how to work with him then I bet you will see a lot of positive changes :)
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/15 08:43 PM
17

I agree with you here. To me, a lower count reflects standards and self control.
/r/RedPillWomen01/01/15 05:54 PM
6

Did any of you remember reaching that point in school where it didn't come easily to you anymore, and all of the sudden you had to work really hard to get decent grades again? That's sort of how I felt when I turned 23 or 24, and swallowed the pill. For a while it felt completely hopeless, but then I realized that it's actually completely within my control, and not totally hopeless.
/r/RedPillWomen30/12/14 09:40 PM
1

Hahaha my grandma used to say "Even a blind hog finds an acorn sometimes". Or more recently, she's abbreviated it to "You know what they say about blind hogs..."
/r/RedPillWomen25/12/14 02:14 AM
1

Looking back on my original comment, I can see that I rambled a lot. Sorry about that ;) I think I'd agree with most of the other advice you're getting here, which is don't make a big deal out of it if it doesn't need to be? I would wait and see how they act around each other, or if he keeps doing the things that make you uncomfortable. If it doesn't continue to be a problem (or if, upon further investigation, you find out that you had no reason to be worried in the first place) then it's probab…
/r/RedPillWomen24/12/14 04:53 AM
2

My SO has a really really close girl friend like that. I know you guys have only been dating for a couple of months, does it feel like something that you can handle long term? Have you ever spent time with the two of him? As far as dealing with it - I just had to sort of make the decision that I was going to trust him and then not think about it or talk about it anymore. Edit - to clarify, I'd maybe let him know that it makes you uncomfortable once and then don't bring it up again. I went throug…
/r/RedPillWomen23/12/14 09:40 PM
1

I'm really happy I could help :)
/r/RedPillWomen22/12/14 10:27 PM
2

I get what you're saying. If you feel like talking about what your wants are could potentially change the relationship dynamic that's definitely scary. However, it's only going to drain you more the longer you let it stay this way. It also is unfair to you, because if he isn't on board with your priorities then you may end up resenting him for holding you back. I think you just need to take a leap of faith here.
/r/RedPillWomen21/12/14 09:24 PM
1

Yeah! I understand why some women might opt out of that for various reasons, but I'm surprised that they're systematically forbidding it!
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/14 05:54 PM
0

Yeah, exactly. None of us have much expendable income, but one roommate in particular spends a lot of money and time on it :/
/r/RedPillWomen20/12/14 04:42 PM
3

Is the only reason that you aren't interested in marriage as opposed to a committed LTR because of financial reasons? You sounds like you're fishing for a specific answer that simply isn't what most of us believe.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 04:57 PM
8

I'm with you here. I think an important part of wanting to have kids is wanting to provide them with an environment and family situation that is stable and dependable. I think that can really set apart women who "want children" from women who "want a baby to dress up and look cute".
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 03:43 PM
4

This poses an interesting question. I wish I had been more familiar with RPW before I moved in with my current roommates. They are a lot of fun, but honestly tend to bring out the worst in me. Some things that might have been red flags that I overlooked: *Lots of alcohol. Not just beer in the fridge, but they basically had a fully stocked back for the two of them. When I was in college I never drank to excess or partied, but they both love going out and doing that sort of thing and it's often ju…
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 03:30 PM
1

I signed all of our Christmas cards with our first names only. When I address them - I'm always sure to put his name before hers, even when we're sending something to a couple that doesn't have the same last name.
/r/RedPillWomen19/12/14 02:26 PM
2

oh this is so cool!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/14 07:37 PM
2

Definitely. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/14 07:05 PM
3

Is it ok to fake enthusiasm when you don't feel like having sex? To avoid starfishing?
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/14 06:24 PM
3

My fiance looooooves Crusader Kings! I'm not always around when he plays it, but it's always fun to hear him talk about the story line that he's creating, and how his empire is doing, and whether his heirs are plotting to kill him, and who he's trying to marry his heirs off to. I like playing Castle Crashers and Child of Light with him. He usually carries both of us from level to level, but it's a lot of fun to do with him!
/r/RedPillWomen15/12/14 04:40 PM
1

I think this is important. Having the ability to be hostess in a variety of situations is important too!
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/14 04:45 AM
4

I think this really gets at why the "do it until you're in the mood" and " don't worry it will you'll end up enjoying it" advice misses the point. A) that doesn't always happen. B) it isn't about us, it's about us keeping him satisfied.
/r/RedPillWomen11/12/14 09:57 PM
3

Agreed. Let him know that it's happened, and that you've done something to stop it. Being proactive with him is probably the best thing you can do.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/14 07:23 PM
11

Yuuuup.
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/14 02:55 AM
1

The exact same thing happened to me. Seriously. My boobs are smaller than they were when I was in middle school, and it's no fun. I asked my boyfriend - he says he likes the changes that he's seen, and that he doesn't really miss my boobs. I get why you've posted it here - having smaller boobs can definitely leave you feeling less feminine. But I think it's good that you're getting in better shape, and I'm sure nobody is going to notice that your chest is getting smaller :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/12/14 02:44 AM
1

It's tricky, for sure. Thankfully - our philsophy is based largely on facts, so it's usually easy to point out realities and plant seeds of truth.
/r/RedPillWomen05/12/14 03:24 AM
1

I think my SO likes it when I initiate, but he initiates so often that I rarely have the opportunity to. If he's giving you opportunities to initiate, and you're both enjoying it then it sounds like an awesome idea!
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/14 03:08 PM
1

Is there anyway to meet him halfway? Do you know what about it he likes? If he can tell you that you might be able to help him with fantasies that don't explicitly require the use of diapers, but still satisfy him.
/r/RedPillWomen01/12/14 02:43 AM
2

I might be the odd one out here, but sometimes it's difficult to implement the "never say no" rule. One of the reasons it needs to be recommend is that not everyone is super horny all the time. Not everyone is turned on every single time their SO wants to do it. Not everyone eventually grts in the mood after enough foreplay. But we all care enough about keeping out SOs happy that it's something that we are willing to do.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/14 03:29 PM
11

My grandma was a doctor. Unlike a lot of female doctors, she took my grandpa's last name, made sure she went to all of the kids' sporting events, took care of the house and the garden, and made sure that she had warm home cooked meals every night. My grandpa was her priority, then the rest of her family, then the family farm, then their medical practice, in that order. Its hard. She's the toughest woman i know. I don't think it's common to be able to do all of those things well, but she did.
/r/RedPillWomen29/11/14 08:33 PM
3

If I were in his position, I would probably assume that you were ashamed of me or embarrassed by me. Saying that it's still to early after a few weeks would sound, to me, like you were making up an excuse.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/14 07:41 PM
3

I agree. It seems like there is a lot of potential here for something to go wrong, and it doesn't seem to bother him much. edit: spelling.
/r/RedPillWomen24/11/14 04:35 AM
7

For the last 58 years, my family has had Thanksgiving at my grandma's house. She is 94, and still has to be involved with (or at the very least oversee) everything that happens. My aunt and I have started spending the night so that when the 15-20lbs turkeys need stuffed at 4:30am, she doesn't get up and try to do it herself. She makes sure that we count the dishes correctly, bundle the silverware correctly, set the tables correctly so that all 50 of her relatives have a good time and can eat all…
/r/RedPillWomen19/11/14 04:39 PM
1

I don't think I've ever been 'attacked', but I definitely see people around me losing respect for me.
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/14 09:08 PM
3

I spent a lot of my childhood very confused. I had one grandma who was a doctor and told me that I didn't need to worry about boys and I didn't need to wear makeup and that I didn't need to wear dresses and that I needed to focus on my career. My other grandma saw doing well in school as basically a hindrance to me securing a husband by the time I was 18 and spent a lot of her time trying to set me up with her friends' grandsons and telling me that I everything I did needed to be with the goal o…
/r/RedPillWomen17/11/14 08:58 PM
2

You're not the only one. It's pretty aggravating.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/14 10:17 PM
1

http://sweets.seriouseats.com/2013/12/the-food-lab-the-best-chocolate-chip-cookies.html Here you go! This is basically everything you would need to know. On this site they tried lots of variations of the recipe (white sugar vs brown sugar, milk vs cream, etc) and came up with the ideal recipe.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/14 02:32 PM
3

Fit Friday 1. How did I get moving this week? I ran a marathon!!! My healthy food item or meal? I've been eating a lot of broccoli slaw salads. They're delicious and super hearty. I also made some southwestern egg rolls, which are filled with corn, beans and lots of spinach. What song got me moving? Wake me up by Aloe Blacc Plans for next week? Starting to train again for the next marathon (in March) and running an 8k race this weekend with my fiancé :D FatFriday 1. Most delicious thing I had th…
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/14 01:42 PM
2

My roommate was sort of that way. After she got burned a BUNCH of times, I was able to talk to her about what she might be doing wrong. I'm not sure if it had something to do with me getting engaged, or if it was her realizing that her plan wasn't working. If she wasn't in a mindset where she wanted to change, I"m not sure that she would have been very open to these ideas. She's slowly warming up to them, and I think possibly implementing some of them!
/r/RedPillWomen21/10/14 02:55 AM
1

I'm not sure how she told him, but they became pretty serious pretty fast (they got engaged after dating for 7 months). I think it happened pretty early. I can ask for more details and PM you with more information if you'd like.
/r/RedPillWomen17/10/14 02:46 AM
1

I have a friend in the same boat. It is hard, and it's something that she struggled with for a while. She's 26, and just got married. She was very upfront with her husband about it when they started dating, and they've just had to be very careful. I'm telling you this because I don't want you to think you're doomed to loneliness because of this. Before she met her husband, she had experiences a lot like the one that you're describing.
/r/RedPillWomen16/10/14 02:11 PM
2

I'm currently in grad school, and am now in a position where I'm trying to balance my career options with my future family and my SO's goals. It's hard. I think I would have made some decisions differently had I been an RPW 4 years ago. It's doable, but I often have to make myself step back and remember what my ultimate goals are. My goal now in grad school is to set myself up to be in the best possible asset to my husband. I've started taking pride in different accomplishments, and it is no les…
/r/RedPillWomen15/10/14 11:32 PM
1

This sounds delicious! I'm going to try this out, for sure.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/14 02:07 PM
1

http://bakeat350.blogspot.com/2011/04/beer-bread-4-ways.html These are some of my favorite beer bread recipes. This also gives you some flexibility as far as the kinds of beer you use! One of my favorite main dishes to make is to sauté bratwurst and onions in beer. I usually use lager and guinness for a good combination of flavors.
/r/RedPillWomen14/10/14 01:47 PM
2

If I got a bouquet of 10 long-stemmed jars of Jiff I would be elated.
/r/RedPillWomen13/10/14 01:04 PM
2

I've started to recognize when I become a part of the problem, and I sort of force myself to step back. It helps me keep from staying something hurtful, or something that makes the situation worse. I can usually come back from that sincerely feeling better, and ready to help move the situation forward in the way that my wonderful fiancé had wanted to in the first place.
/r/RedPillWomen10/10/14 01:29 PM
5

I don't really get it. It sounds like she is making excuses for why her kids are eating what they're eating, but she also points out that her husband is the one who fixes their breakfast and that he does care either. Almost to say "It's not a big deal what my kids are eating, but also don't blame me it's my husband's job"
/r/RedPillWomen09/10/14 08:36 PM
6

It's pretty easy to do damage with this sort of thing. The last couple of disagreements I've had with my fiance have been about this sort of thing. I think it really puts our guys into a rough situation when we have pretty serious assumptions like that and assume the worst in them. I think in a lot of cases women expect that sort of confrontation to cause their husbands/boyfriends to come to them and reassure them and tell them what they want to hear. Really, it makes them want to turn further a…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/14 12:14 AM
3

Yeah, i can't emphasize this enough. It will let him know what you're looking for, and it will help you figure out what he's looking for.
/r/RedPillWomen03/10/14 05:08 PM
2

I've had the same issue with my roommate, specifically the "don't put out on the first date" part. Her usual procedure is: 1. Sleep with guy on first or second date 2. Try to set up another date 3. Succeed in getting a couple of replies to her messages, but eventually completely losing all communication. 4. Crying about how everyone that she likes is a jerk and doesn't appreciate her. Sadly, my S.O. also is pretty sure she's going to end up alone, or with someone who is really really desperate a…
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/14 12:25 PM
2

Thanks for sharing this :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/09/14 02:15 AM
1

The fact that that happens blows my mind. I have to wonder if the women reporting those numbers are almost sociopaths. The fact that they're able to do that with no moral qualms, and continue to do it with presumably no emotional connection is honestly kind of disturbing.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/14 02:17 AM
4

Chicken and noodles or beef and noodles are really simple recipes that freeze/refrigerate well. Also - theyre super comforting and filling. It'd be a great thing for him to come home to after a late night :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/09/14 02:48 AM
5

I'd be really interested to know how many women accurately inform their current partner of their sexual history. I can see a lot of women boasting about the number of men they've slept with to their girlfriends, but I doubt very many of them would own up to it if their current partner asked them. I was very honest with my SO about my sexual past, and it was pretty easy because I didn't have a lot to hide.
/r/RedPillWomen03/09/14 05:11 AM
3

This is frustrating. She is acknowledging that there is a trend, and that "something" is up. But then she instantly starts making excuses and assuming nothing is within her control!
/r/RedPillWomen31/08/14 01:11 AM
5

INTJ all the way. My SO is an ENTJ :)
/r/RedPillWomen29/08/14 12:20 AM
8

I agree with this completely. Have some self respect. It sounds like you think that sticking around and forgiving him is the nice, supportive, RPW thing to do. Keep in mind what this event has done to how you will see him in the future. Every time you go to a party with him now, you're going to be spending your time worrying about what he's doing on the other side of the room. When he's hanging out after work with his buddies - even if he's just out with the guys you're going to worry about whet…
/r/RedPillWomen26/08/14 05:20 PM
1

Glad I'm not the only one :)
/r/RedPillWomen23/08/14 04:52 AM
2

I take running and general fitness pretty seriously. I try to make sure that I do at least 30 minutes of cardio 5-6 days a week (more if I can find the time), and every day i work through a pretty basic routine with my 15lb hand weights, and a kettle bell. I like this combination of activities because for the most part they're all things I can do at home, which makes them pretty convenient to work in around work and cooking and 'girlfriend-boyfriend time' :). Also I take a multivitamin, iron, an…
/r/RedPillWomen21/08/14 08:08 PM
1

Yes yes! My fiance is actually the one who introduced me to the red pill!
/r/RedPillWomen11/08/14 01:11 AM
2

That does help clear things up. Thanks :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/08/14 03:13 AM
2

I think you did fine :) You'll have to report back on how dinner is!
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 10:05 PM
1

I don't think she's being too derogatory - I've seen respected posters here who say things like "keep his stomach full and his balls empty". I'm not sure how that is so different?
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 09:41 PM
2

Why is being a silent wallflower a bad thing in the situations described in the first point? I always assumed that would be a better option than either disagreeing or lying about how you feel about his decisions when asked.
/r/RedPillWomen07/08/14 07:27 PM
3

Bob's Burgers is a pretty good example, I hadn't really thought of it that way before!
/r/RedPillWomen05/08/14 11:42 AM
4

Exactly. I was actually surprised how easily it came when I needed to stick up for me/us when I needed to. I was assertive and unapologetic, and it didn't happen again.
/r/RedPillWomen01/08/14 01:48 AM
2

Thanks for pointing this out! I'm definitely glad to see that
/r/RedPillWomen29/07/14 05:19 PM
2

Silent treatment = Pouting.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 01:13 PM
1

Welcome :)
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/14 11:54 AM
2

Hooraay!!! Thank you for posting this (the inspirational story and the recipe :) )
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/14 06:54 PM
7

I don't think putting out quickly is necessarily something to look for in LTR material. I'd probably be a little put off by it too. With my fiance, I didn't put out until we had had a pretty serious conversation about what we both wanted, made sure we were on the same page, and we had a good sense of each other's past.
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/14 06:51 PM
1

Are you completely opposed to contraception?
/r/RedPillWomen24/07/14 12:36 PM
2

This might be a good thing to do. Stepping back and giving him a chance to decompress and set things aside might be what he needs.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/14 08:35 PM
2

Next, indeed.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/14 08:03 PM
1

Also not a bad idea....
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 04:17 PM
1

Thank you!! This whole website looks like a great resource!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 01:20 PM
2

Oh cool - different sized plates are a great idea. I definitely have the equipment to do that. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 12:37 PM
1

Thanks! This seems easy enough to do. I appreciate the suggestion, especially since it actually worked for you guys!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 12:33 PM
1

Thanks! This is definitely something I can do. Also - lamb with red wine sauce sounds amazing.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 12:31 PM
1

Thanks! Packing things away for lunch the next day is a good idea. If I do go back for seconds it's usually from whatever vegetable side I've made, but I might start filling my plate with those pre-emptively.
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 12:30 PM
2

Oh cool, thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen21/07/14 02:02 AM
3

Jane Eyre, for sure. Most Jane Austen books as well. I think it's interesting in Austen's books, that there are often examples of good women doing the right things for the right reasons (Jane Bennett, for example) and women making impulsive decisions for the wrong reasons (Kitty Bennett), and the consequences that follow.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/14 09:33 PM
2

Awesome idea!
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/14 07:20 PM
1

Breakfast casseroles are easy to throw together! I'm having a hard time finding the recipe that I usually make, but this one is very close. http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/sausage-and-egg-casserole Also - fruit salad is pretty easy to do, and it's always nice and fresh.
/r/RedPillWomen19/07/14 01:11 AM
8

I think you're right. It sounds like post-partum depression to me. I know a few women who have expressed very similar sentiments after their babies were born, but after getting help from their doctor they were able to sort it out. It sounds like her husband really does care about her, even if she isn't always receptive to it. Hopefully he'll be willing to help her get the help she needs.
/r/RedPillWomen13/07/14 01:15 PM
2

I'm working on that too, definitely. I've cut back pretty seriously, I'm down to about 1200 cals per day.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/14 12:11 PM
4

This seems like a good way to plan family life with work, too. I'm in grad school and definitely struggle with managing all of these. Thanks for sharing!
/r/RedPillWomen10/07/14 06:12 PM
2

Since swallowing the pill I've definitely become more aware of this, and try to work harder to balance both of these things. What sorts of workouts do you do? That might make a difference as far as how you can move your schedule around.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 08:08 PM
2

Sweaters that make my boobs look great are always on the list. Also I'm a huge fan of skirts with leggings in the winter/fall. It keeps me pretty warm while still helping me show off my legs
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/14 01:30 PM
2

Yeah! Even if the issues don't go away, you're still able to do something for him.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 05:25 PM
2

Thanks so much for the recommendation! I'll absolutely look into it :)
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 03:55 PM
8

Honestly, I usually just submit. I'd rather have him be happy and satisfied. That being said, once in a blue moon I just can't do it. It happens very very infrequently, and he knows that I'm never ever going to deny him for a petty reason, or to be passive aggressive or hurt him in any way. Most of the time though, it's best to just take care of him.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/14 03:32 AM
2

What did that involve?
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 08:10 PM
1

You might be able to play with casserole or soup recipes to leave out veggies. I've been able to play a lot with recipes for things like that for different dietary needs. I wonder what you could maybe use as a substitute for veggies? Mushrooms and potatoes are pretty healthy, but they won't have too much fiber to cause digestive issues.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 05:10 PM
2

I almost instantly feel more feminine/graceful when I put on a dress or skirt. I'm not sure what it is, but for me it makes a difference.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 04:20 PM
1

I think the reason it came across as Stepford-ish to me is that there's virtually no mention of how husbands and wives might interact. It almost sounds like they're working in shifts, not working with each other towards a common goal. For example, I'm not sure I like the idea of his wife just going up and locking herself in her room as soon as he gets home. I was talking to my fiance about this, and something that stood out to him is that there's no mention of them taking care of each other's ne…
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 03:36 PM
1

Yes, Stepford wives is definitely the image that comes to mind.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 03:02 PM
2

Definitely. It sounds pretty robotic.
/r/RedPillWomen07/07/14 02:38 PM
1

Definitely trying to :)
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 08:25 PM
3

Losing weight and wearing more makeup. I've probably lost 30 pounds over the last year (down to a size 5 for the first time since middle school!), but it's still really really unattractive around my middle. I also need to work on not getting upset when my SO points it out to me. I know that if it's bad enough that he's saying something about it, then it must be a pretty big problem. I just need to buckle down and fix it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/14 02:25 PM
1

Thanks for letting me know. He and I actually talked about this last night, and talked through a lot of our concerns. He said he'd definitely like me to talk to him about things before I would go to anyone else.
/r/RedPillWomen03/07/14 01:08 PM
1

That makes sense. I didn't even necessarily mean venting 'about him', but in a situation where keeping it to yourself would be bad, but telling him might only frustrate him because he wouldn't necessarily be able to do anything about it. I was in this situation pretty recently, and wanted to express something that had been weighing on me. All it ended up doing was making him really frustrated - nothing was solved and everything was worse. I completely regret telling him that, and instead wish I …
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 12:57 PM
1

Can I ask something off of this? if you're upset about something and you know that there isn't anything that your SO can do, is it ever ok to go someone else (a GF or something) to vent so that it doesn't become an issue? Obviously this should be reserved for situations where your SO wouldn't benefit from knowing, but you would still need to get it off of your chest. I'm just curious as to what your thoughts are on this alternative.
/r/RedPillWomen02/07/14 03:13 AM
2

Don't worry. I'm 25 now, and I only started reading this sub and actively implementing these practices into my relationship over the past 7-8 months. You'll be fine :)
/r/RedPillWomen01/07/14 06:57 PM
2

Exactly. Making sure that your SO is someone you respect is so important. If you have a man who is genuinely looking out for your best interest, and who is going to look out for you. That way, even if you dont' agree, you know that you can support his decision in the end. Related to this, I think it's worth mentioning that a lot of RP Men are willing to take into consideration their wives strengths, and defer some responsibilities to her. That's part of being in a partnership, even if they're ca…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/14 02:54 AM
5

Some of these are a little tricky for me, because my fiancee and I don't live together (say good morning every morning, good night every night), but I always feel better when we text each other "good night, sleep well, i love you". One time we were at my grandma's house, and we weren't staying in the same room, and I was a lot sleepier than he was. Rather than just going separate ways and falling asleep alone, he told me he'd sit with me until I fell asleep. Sure enough, he sat on the side of my…
/r/RedPillWomen30/06/14 02:38 AM
1

Wow. This. So much sense.
/r/RedPillWomen27/06/14 01:06 PM
1

I get this. It's easy for guys to come home and leave work at work. It just isn't the case at all for women who prioritize the home. I'm glad you have his support and that he appreciates all you do :) That really makes all the difference in the world
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 09:14 PM
1

I think what you're suggesting is a really good idea. Especially if you can have it ready when he gets home an he isn't expecting it!
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 08:41 PM
2

I'd definitely like flair if you feel like I've earned it. I've been commenting for a couple of months now and I take the ideas discussed here very seriously in my relationship. However if you feel like it's too early, or that I should participate more before getting flair I would completely understand.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 05:24 PM
3

It sounds like she needs a role model. I wonder if she might want to on some level, but doesn't know how to attain any of those things.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/14 04:58 PM
1

Love this post! It's really easy to psych yourself out in situations like this, and it's only to the detriment of you and your SO. It's too bad that this blog doesn't look very active anymore. This author has some great points.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/14 08:09 PM
1

If I could upvote this more than once, I would.
/r/RedPillWomen25/06/14 04:21 PM
1

Welcome! This is something I've struggled with too, so you aren't alone. I've seen a lot of discussion here about being submissive vs being a doormat. It sounds like you two are on the same page, so he doesn't have to walk all over you to do what he needs to do. He really values your opinion, and it's great that you have a good understanding of each other's needs and wants. I think the situation like you talk about in the last paragraph only applies when you're in sort of a stalemate and someone…
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/14 10:41 PM
1

I agree. Once it's pointed out and you know it's a problem, having support along the way makes all of the difference in the world. Someone who is actually interested in your health and the way you look should be able to support you along the way.
/r/RedPillWomen24/06/14 01:55 PM
1

Thumbs up on dresses and skirts! I love how girly they make me feel, and they can be so comfortable. If you're trying to dress more feminine, dresses are the easiest way to do it!
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/14 01:29 PM
1

My mother's grey hair has came in pretty early, but she always stayed ahead of it. My dad really doesn't mind whether she lets it go natural gray or not, but my mom got a ton of resistance from her mother when she talked about letting it go. My grandma actually explicitly told her "No, I am not old enough to have a daughter with grey hair. You will continue to dye it as long as I am alive!" So do whatever you think looks good! There are lots of cute things that you can do with highlights that ma…
/r/RedPillWomen23/06/14 12:27 PM
3

I think a lot of women fear incredibly dominant men because they don't want to be doormats. it's very difficult for a lot of people do distinguish someone dominant with someone who walks all over you. Is there a distinction you all use between the two?
/r/RedPillWomen22/06/14 01:06 AM
2

Exactly!!! Nobody deserves this. She's immature and self-centered, no one deserves being in a completely one sided relationship like this.
/r/RedPillWomen21/06/14 02:20 AM
1

Love this. Thanks for posting!
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/14 08:41 PM
1

You shouldn't be having to do this much damage control. Has she put you in a position like that before?
/r/RedPillWomen20/06/14 08:07 PM
1

I'm not sure how much he would want you to lose either, unless he's explicitly stated a number? See what he thinks about coming to work out with you, and ask him to help you. That might give you a better idea about what he would like. Have you ever looked at /r/loseit ? There are always good suggestions and motivation there, regardless of whether you're trying to lose a little or a lot.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/14 12:51 PM
2

I was in the same boat a while ago, and then managed to lose a bunch of weight because I started running. I wasn't that unhappy with the way I looked before, but I'm much happier with the way I look now. I bet if you actually lose weight you won't end up being resentful of him, but will get into the process and feel good about yourself. A couple of things that might help: 1)Make sure that you find a way to do it that you actually enjoy, that way it won't feel like you're doing it for him, but yo…
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/14 12:30 PM
5

Pretty new, but I've had a really awesome time being a part of the conversations going on here! I'm 25 and in an LTR. Reading this has helped me so much, both with my attitude in this relationship and in how I hold myself accountable.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/14 01:45 PM
2

Good point. For as much criticism as this sub gets it is about a life choice that very few people here seem to regret. I'm pretty new to this sub too. After dating guys who made me want to take control, it's refreshing to be in a relationship with a man that I am very happy to be with. because I have the upmost respect for him and trust his decision making ability it really is no problem for me to let him take the lead.
/r/RedPillWomen16/06/14 11:39 AM
1

Dump your plates and actually put effort into looking for someone. If you spent half as much time going out and looking for someone of quality as you did screwing around with people who you don't plan on keeping around anyway, it might help you out.
/r/RedPillWomen14/06/14 07:39 PM
3

I think I know how you feel. Do you ever get the feeling that people assume he's forcing you to do it? Or people assume that he's reduced you to a service position?
/r/RedPillWomen13/06/14 12:26 PM
3

I was in a relationship once where NONE of my emotional needs were being met. During that time, there is nothing I wanted more than to reach out to one of my guy friends to get some emotional support. I didn't because I knew it would really upset my bf at the time, but i was aching for that pretty badly. I know that I didn't want anything sexual (and it sounds like you weren't looking for that either) but it still probably felt to him a little bit like emotional infidelity. I was about your age …
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 04:05 PM
9

I really like this explanation. I think that a lot of women confuse "leading" with "policing", and "asserting his dominance" with "repressing". It completely ignores the fact that if he chose you he obviously values you a lot, and chose you to fill in a role that he needs.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/14 02:08 PM
3

Regarding #4 - it's good that you're each aware that there are different ways that you show that you care. Have you looked into different Love Languages (http://www.5lovelanguages.com)? Even if you don't communicate your feelings in the same way, it's good that you can recognize when he's trying to be affectionate towards you and vice versa.
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/14 07:30 PM
6

When my fiance and i first started dating, he came over one time for dinner. We had the house to ourselves, so we were able to be a little more relaxed without having to worry about my roommates. He was being really cute, really romantic. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder and started carrying me upstairs. While he was running up the stairs with me on his shoulder, he hit my head on the light at the top of the stairs! it was really funny, he got a little embarassed, but carrying me u…
/r/RedPillWomen10/06/14 03:36 AM
1

Yeah, I understand that. It can't be an easy cycle to break once you're in that situation.
/r/RedPillWomen09/06/14 05:19 PM
1

This thread is awesome. I've been trying to find new ways to spoil him that don't involve food or sex, so I'll definitely try some of these out.
/r/RedPillWomen06/06/14 01:44 PM
2

That sounds frustrating. It sounds like the best thing you can do at this point is to be ready to be supportive if (or maybe when) it falls apart. Especially their kids. It sounds like they're probably going to need a solid female role model, and it looks like they aren't getting that from her.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/14 08:29 PM
3

I've seen some of this in my relationship too. When it would happen it would just completely knock down my self esteem. Especially because he was reacting, honestly, kind of like your husband when he's in that situation. My first thought was definitely "am I really not worth sticking up for?" I finally asked him about it, and I told him that it hurt when he was interacting with a woman that was blatantly disrespecting me and he didn't do anything about it. Now we get even more affectionate when …
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/14 11:41 AM
5

Mine does too! It's definitely a huge confidence booster for him, and I loooooove how proud he is to have me on his arm.
/r/RedPillWomen05/06/14 01:33 AM
1

You need to ask him what's going on. Also regarding clubbing and dancing with other guys, I think most guys are going to get at least a little jealous. Yeah, it's fun, but I wouldn't do that because I don't want to put my SO in a position where he feels like he has any competition. You guys haven't been dating very long. If those are just things that you've always done and don't think you're doing anything wrong, he might be re-evaluating whether or not he wants to be with you.
/r/RedPillWomen04/06/14 05:02 PM
6

I know a lot of women who associate femininity with things like weakness, or inability, or dependency. I don't think it's necessarily that those women don't want to be 'feminine', they just don't want to have the other characteristics that they feel come along with it.
/r/RedPillWomen03/06/14 04:10 PM
2

I'm putting a lot of trust in my SO, and he knows that. He loves that I trust him, and takes pride in that. My expectation of him is that he continues to do what he has done to inspire that trust in me in the first place. That being said - I don't think I would need to label that as an "expectation". I wouldn't want that to imply that it's a condition for our relationship, or that I'm going to adjust my behavior if he falters. I'd say that I "expect" that from him, because it's one of the reason…
/r/RedPillWomen02/06/14 02:36 PM
2

I'm glad you're curious! I'm pretty new to this subreddit and this way of thinking about my relationship, but something that appeals to me about it is that both members of my relationship are working towards a successful family unit. He is bringing to the table what he is best at doing, and I am bringing to the table what I am best at doing. Following the "rules" allows me to maximize my input to the family, while helping and encouraging my SO to be the best that he can be. The benefit to me is …
/r/RedPillWomen29/05/14 01:04 PM
2

It sounds like this friendship is causing you a lot of anxiety. I understand not wanting to lose his friendship, but this relationship doesn't seem healthy. It's ok to take care of yourself here :)
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/14 05:29 PM
10

I'd be careful about spending too much money on him. He may be a really nice guy, but it sounds like he might be taking advantage of you. Especially if you're helping him hook up with a friend of yours. Does he know how you feel?
/r/RedPillWomen19/05/14 12:46 PM
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