Comfort and compliance testing.

PhantomDream09 · 2017-06-10T23:22:24+00:00

Occam has said 'inflammatory' things when we hang out with friends. It's funny, because they always immediately look at me to see how I respond. They have also 'gotten mad' on my 'behalf.' Occam values my sense of humor (up to my neck in gallows) and my ability to not take things personally. I still remember our first phone conversation. I was telling him some of my favorite movies, and I mentioned the original Star Wars. In a flat voice he said "I hate those movies" fully expecting me to flip out. Instead I asked why he didn't like them, and what movies he did like, and offered to explain why I enjoy them. He started laughing and said he was just kidding. I think my reaction was a big reason why he asked me out on a date.

He had a 'no males friend' rule, and when he told me about it, I said that I had the same rule (for myself) when in a relationship.

He has told me to style my hair a certain way, or to wear a certain outfit.

He ordered food for me on our first date, which I loved. He now does this every time we go out. :0)

Has told me to stop, or said 'no' to me flat out, no discussion.

Compliance testing and being a leader often overlap. After all, leaders expect compliance and loyalty.

I continually seek comfort from Occam. I am really big on cuddling, and spending time together. It doesn't bother him because 'sitting in the same room while doing independent activities' counts as spending time together for me. I'll frequently go to him playfully, asking for something silly, or pretend pouting. It's a game for us, and always done in a flirtatious manner.

Irisandoleander · 2017-06-11T02:20:37+00:00

When we started hanging out - prior to dating exclusively - R use to say "I don't care if you (activity) I just wouldn't date a girl that did." Typically it would be like going to the club, frat parties, type things. He wouldn't care if I went but he also wouldn't upgrade me if I did. It always put the ball back in my court to SHOW him what my priorities were. Looking back he was probably a manipulative ass 😉

littleeggwyf · 2017-06-11T08:42:29+00:00

I do do the comfort testing a lot more than shit testing, my normal comfort test is asking "do you still love me", or maybe "I don't know why you're with me sometimes". He curls me up on his lap and cuddles me out of it :D

I sometimes troll him a bit to see what he does, because it's like a fun flirty game

I used to shit test when we were first dating a bit more, especially with the things like asking why he liked a particular outfit. He ended up calling them out and started asking "Is this a girl trick?" when i did that :)

Some things which maybe were compliance tests when we were dating:

we went on a long weekend with two other couples who he knew from his workplace, and the other guys were quite 'beta', like always trying to please their girlfriends and the girls made jokes at their expense to each other. My husband made some very dry jokes and I found it funny how he punctured their bitchiness, and maybe he was seeing if I'd side with them or him?

That holiday there were more things like that, there were some things which kind of pushed me a bit but I think i passed!

He did sometimes ask me to wear a particular outfit or do my hair a particular way more back then (now I know more his taste so don't need to be asked as much). Sometimes I didn't agree what looked good, but now I do trust him when he suggests something because his response when i've gone with it is nice :D

HappyWifeLifeX · 2017-06-10T21:55:43+00:00

I thought I might include this archived post as maybe some newer members need a bit more understanding.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/4dohin/shit_tests_101/

proprioceptor · 2017-06-11T14:54:08+00:00

I don't think I'm very good at comfort testing. I thing my husband tends to perceive them as shit tests and totally shut them down, so I've just stopped doing them.

Mrs_Kailosians · 2017-06-20T10:41:13+00:00

I have never given a test of any kind. I told my darling Sir when we were first dating that I did not date casually. It is my particular study to say what I mean and mean what I say.

When I was reading this post to my Sir as he sits nearby, he sort of furrowed his brow, and said, "What is that?"

He is very much a naturally dominant personality, and he has always been the alpha type, so he has always just expected me to comply with his requests.

Of course, I told him my philosophy of marriage when we were dating, so there wasn't really a lot of guesswork on either of our parts.

Title	Comfort and compliance testing.
Author	Irisandoleander
Upvotes	12
Comments	18
Date	June 10, 2017 7:59 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWives
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWives/comments/6gh8wu/comfort_and_compliance_testing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWives/comfort-and-compliance-testing.208902 https://theredarchive.com/post/208902

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