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quasarbar Archive

View 4 posts and 336 comments by quasarbar on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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7

they just try to get you to beg for their tiny little egos 100% true. And since you weren't upset, there's a high possibility he'll freak out and beg for you to come back to him. Maybe he won't, but I will not be the least bit surprised if he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/22 12:46 AM
13

I once had a guy show up for a date with garlic breath. We'd had the date planned for long enough that he would have known before he had lunch that day or whatever. Honestly I can't imagine a woman choosing to eat something notoriously odoriferous when she knows she'll be going on a date later. Most women would be way too self-conscious to do that. But this guy? It's like it didn't even cross his mind. And then he expected me to kiss him!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/22 07:24 PM
46

He can't take the stress and anxiety that her condition is causing him! Oh that poor, dear man. What an awful wife to make his life harder with her disease. /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/02/22 01:54 PM
203

Yes. Any pile of garbage can say "I love you." He needs to show you that he loves you, not just say it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/22 08:03 PM
38

I'm sorry that it's like that. I hate when men condemn an entire race of women as ugly, and for some reason it irks me even more when it is the man's own race that he deems unattractive. It's like, it's okay for him to have [whatever feature] but it's not okay for her? I live in the United States, and there's no shortage of white men here who think Asian women are beautiful... to the point of fetishizing them. Ugh! And that's how it is with so many men. You're either ugly and unworthy, or you're…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/22 04:42 PM
10

What a tragedy. RIP Cheslie. You will be missed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/22 08:26 AM
50

they don't even have custody (lol that's even worse, buddy) It is. So much worse. I'm married but if I weren't, I would never consider dating a man who has fathered children but doesn't raise them. Men who do that are garbage.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/22 05:55 PM
39

This man adds negative value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:10 AM
59

meanwhile, this poor overworked sahm puts money in his hands. if she continues like this, he will shit on her soon Absolutely 100% he will. When her savings runs out and she's completely at his mercy, he'll declare her a deadbeat and act like she's abusing him by not having money to give him, and leave her for his next victim.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:04 AM
25

Shit, I just realized she wrote "partner" instead of "husband." Fucking hell, this poor woman is screwed. Ladies, never EVER enter into this kind of arrangement without a legal marriage contract in a jurisdiction that has proper alimony laws on the books.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 09:00 AM
23

OMG WTAF? If that's how her POS husband thinks he needs to realize that he should start paying her half the value of her labor caring for his child and tending his home. Including overtime for every minute over eight hours a day, and back pay for at least the last eleven months. Better yet, he should start paying her alimony and child support.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/22 08:58 AM
390

I remember seeing a post maybe a few months ago... might have been here for all I know... about a woman whose boyfriend/fiance/whatever would do the weaponized incompetence, so she played along. He did a shoddy job washing the dishes, so she'd serve him his food using the improperly washed dishes. Things like that. It was wonderful in a way, except for the part where she was still with him for as long as she was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/22 01:53 PM
34

But tbh if he reveals that he lied I think it's better to just make a mental note and move on. Block and delete once you're safely away There's a petty part of me that likes to humiliate them and watch them squirm when confronted with their dishonesty, but you're probably right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 08:12 PM
122

I was in a similar situation once. Found out the guy I was chatting with had probably lied about his age, but didn't want to reveal that I'd googled him. I casually asked once in a chat session what years he had been in school. He forgot to lie. Oops. I definitely recommend a nonchalant, non-confrontational question about something like that. He'll either not think about how the answer will reveal his lie, or he'll take too long to answer while he mentally calculates in order to perpetuate the l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/22 05:34 PM
13

How does someone say something like that and not recoil in horror at his own words? I mean, even if that's how he actually feels (shudder), he can't possibly think it will come across well? Does he think women are just brainless automatons who will receive abusive words and not be disgusted?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 10:02 PM
9

Last I knew he still had no children. He's well into his fifties now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 04:01 PM
30

When I was 28 and using OLD I matched with a guy whose age was also listed as 28. Turned out he was actually 38. When I confronted him he used that lame excuse of wanting to meet younger women (blah blah wanted to have children blah blah wasn't his fault he wasn't able to start a family when he was younger (yes he really said that) blah blah) and acted like he was a victim. I pointed out that my preferred age range for matches was 40-something. (I don't remember exactly what I set it to, but it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/22 07:30 AM
64

maybe the issue isn't me Oh, lord.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/21 07:18 PM
62

Yep. It's basically narcissism. Their fragile egos want to be wanted, and when it doesn't work they go crazy and desperate.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:26 PM
26

Oh I love that! I'm guessing he immediately started backpedaling?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:25 PM
8

A lot of people in the original thread were also confused!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:24 PM
22

I agree. I think what she did was the epitome of maturity. She agreed with him. She gave him what he wanted!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 03:23 PM
102

She clarified in the thread that she did NOT mean she's still hooking up with him, and probably didn't express that well. She's not having sex with him or seeing him anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 12:11 PM
38

LOL yup. And I'm pleased to say the answer was "Never."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 11:39 AM
126

True story: Me: [pours my heart out about a trauma I'm going through] Dude I'm dating: [acts indifferent and dismissive] Same dude: "So when are you going to open up to me?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/21 04:12 AM
165

I feel both comforted and enraged to know how common some of these experiences are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/21 09:57 AM
36

I'm fat and ugly and I'm happily married to a smart, hardworking, generous man who adores me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 07:57 PM
2

In my more cynical moments I think it's also about women not being allowed to take up space.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 04:56 PM
5

Some of them are low key pedos. Oh god, you're probably right. Same reason they prefer no pubic hair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/21 11:13 AM
34

I've never understood the male obsession with thinness. Women rarely care that much if a man is a bit pudgy. I mean, sure, a woman might prefer a man who's trim or muscular if all else is equal, but the majority (in my experience) won't make it a requirement and care far more about a man's heart, mind, and soul. That's what really matters in the grand scheme of things, anyway. I know the standard response is "mEn ArE ViSUaL" but I don't buy it. I'm a highly visual cognitive type/learning style, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 09:29 PM
8

He understands. He just doesn't care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/21 02:48 AM
14

Wayne wrote: “ ‘I can’t be attracted to anyone who doesn’t know their homonyms.’ That might be the funniest thing I’ve ever read on hear. ” This made me laugh out loud. Well played, Wayne.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/21 06:01 PM
52

I fail to understand what makes FDS so scary. It's scary to low-value men that women won't put up with their bullshit. It's not so much scary to the pickmeishas; they just want to get angry about it on behalf of their butthurt boyfriends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:28 PM
17

I've seen very little on here about penis size. I can see why concern about finances might come across as shallow, until you grok the part where many of us have been preyed on by men who were stingy leeches. And most of us are not demanding that men be rich -- just, you know, not looking to mooch off of us. That's perfectly reasonable. But why is mental health even on that list? Are we supposed to seek out imbalanced psychos? Give me a f***in' break.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 09:25 PM
6

As someone with wavy/frizzy hair who never knew this, can you please recommend a type of towel I should use to dry it? Thanks. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:16 PM
3

If his family was liable to make fun of her, then he should have had a word with them and told them to mind their business and be respectful. Fuck's sake.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 02:14 PM
14

I registered that he claimed to do 50% of the childcare and just instantly assumed he was full of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:23 PM
24

Yeah, if my husband demanded that I "just serve whatever" to him and his guests, they'd be getting Milk Bones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:21 PM
5

Her objection was that he should've consulted her before requiring her to cook a freaking Thanksgiving dinner for an extra six people. He thinks this is unreasonable? This is so much less than he deserves for her to be mad about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/11/21 02:19 PM
20

Yes, indeed. Good point.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 02:45 PM
81

He doesn't want a human being. He wants sex robot.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 01:07 PM
105

I agree that she shouldn't have told the dad, but we don't really know exactly what either of them said when she dumped him. He may have wrung it out of her, manipulated her, threatened her. Or maybe she volunteered the info. We can't know. She should have done her best to be discreet but I can imagine when I was in my early twenties, if I had a boyfriend more than twice my age, it might be hard to tell him to fuck off if he demanded an explanation. And it sounds like this man was probably very …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:50 AM
17

Love this girl. Good on her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/21 10:46 AM
9

That's new to me, too. I don't know if it's some bizarre game, or if he's just a freaking idiot. Either way, good riddance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/21 06:00 PM
8

She's in her 3rd trimester and basically all she does is work, sleep, and eat. And grow your progeny, you absolute pinecone. Which is way more than the 90% of chores you say you're doing (which is probably actually much lower than 90%).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/21 05:40 AM
15

Yes, absolutely. Many years ago I was saving sex for marriage (raised in a religious household, etc., etc.). I met this guy I thought was so wonderful and so sweet and who told me he had the same values I had. He too came from a very religious family, and I believed him. But he was lying. He pushed my boundaries, pushed and pushed. And he was so sneaky about how he did it, so manipulative. If he'd come right out and said "I don't respect your boundaries and I want to have sex" then of course I w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 11:01 AM
40

Sometimes it's overt fraud, like when the man wheedles the woman into bed with declarations of love and commitment and even talk of getting married, when he knows she doesn't want to have sex without love and commitment. Honestly, yes, that's fraud. I think a subset of these shitty men aren't consciously and deliberately trying to commit fraud; they think they're interested but then lose interest when they get their way. "Thrill of the chase" bullshit. That doesn't make it okay though. Still shi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/21 08:31 AM
291

If she had ghosted him after sex he'd be desperately stalking her. I 100% agree that women should not sleep with men early on, unless all the woman wants is no-strings sex. However, may I just say that I absolutely despise this feature that [many] men have. It's so, so shitty.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 11:06 PM
10

My lowest-value ex literally kept a count of the number of orgasms I gave him, while acknowledging that he had never given any woman an orgasm and never tried.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/21 01:50 PM
18

OMG what a POS. Not wanting to put pressure on her? LIE. A sane and decent human being wants a potential partner to know upfront about the important parts of their lives. A sane and decent human being wants to weed out potential partners for whom such things would be undesirable. A sane and decent human being doesn't hide the existence of his child. This man is a crappy father and a crappy partner and a crappy person. GTFO.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/21 02:54 AM
17

If you have a bowl full of candy and you've been told that only one piece is poisoned, are you going to want to eat any of it with reckless abandon or will you be leery of all of it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/21 08:18 PM
38

Men downplay their obesity too. Years ago I used a site where your profile would describe your body type. The options were, as I recall: Athletic Slim Average "I should maybe lose a few" "Full-figured" The last two were obviously kinda euphemistic, but whatever. It wasn't hard to tell what was meant by these descriptions... or at least, you wouldn't think it was hard. There were a number of men who were approximately spherical, judging from their photos, who would select "I should maybe lose a f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/21 10:37 PM
2

I'm so sorry for what you experienced, but really proud of you for having the strength and courage to report it and just to go through life carrying such an awful burden. Much love to you, Sis!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/10/21 08:44 PM
121

Ugh. I've known guys like that. They demand that you "open up" to them right away, and even if you tell them personal things you're going through they act like it's irrelevant and unimportant. They want to stereotype you in whatever way because you're female and if you don't like it they bizarrely think that they are the ones who should be offended.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/10/21 08:40 PM
22

You're right. If the dude played white he could still use the chess computer strategy, making the computer play white.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:35 PM
263

I swear to God men who look for no-strings sex from women they know want real relationships are doing it for some sick little ego stroke. She didn't want to have sex without love, but I got her to give it up 'cause I'm just that badass! Ha ha! It's a characteristic of narcissism, and while not all of these men are necessarily clinical narcissists, they definitely have some of the traits.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/21 03:13 PM
17

I would guess that the smarter a woman is, the less likely she is to put up with bullshit from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 07:05 PM
13

Ugh. That's awful what she experienced, but it doesn't mean you should immediately switch to the opposite extreme. I think the lesson here is to hold on to your heart until you really, really know the guy well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/21 01:39 PM
-2

I would have assumed it was a sarcastic "I wonder what she did to deserve that" because obviously nothing. But yeah, good riddance to this POS. He's probably a murderer or will be someday.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/21 04:04 PM
8

Wait a minute -- our dating strategy is to "spermjack" rich dudes? Maybe I wasn't paying as much attention as I thought in all the time I've been in this sub.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/10/21 07:55 PM
6

OMG how utterly horrifying. RIP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/21 01:53 PM
92

Seems like he's saying his dick is so tiny and unfulfilling his wife can't even feel it and sleeps right through its insertion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 04:43 PM
42

And how many of these men think they can reach their forties (or fifties, or...) and just snap up a twenty-something young woman to have children with when they finally decide they're ready? Why would a young woman want a middle-aged manchild who let the clock run out? He might not have the same biological clock as a woman, but he's still asking that His (hypothetical) younger wife sign up for the statistically high probability of early widowhood, which nobody wants if they marry for anything ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 05:57 PM
6

I could understand a man having platonic friendships with women. My husband does. (And they just so happen to be lesbians, which probably helps TBH.) It's not necessarily a big problem in my book, but it is a reason to proceed with caution. But the part where he volunteered that he finds one of these friends attractive... that's a red flag IMO. And having other people (of either sex, frankly) join you on a date? Just telling you, not asking you? Weird AF.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 05:46 PM
19

Jesus Christ that's horrifying.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/10/21 08:18 AM
65

If you've ever seen a photo of the two of them, his wife is about a hundred times more attractive than he is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 01:21 PM
26

I would have been tempted to say "that was my brother" just to make him feel like the idiot he is, but I'm sure it's better not to say anything at all and have no contact with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 05:04 PM
12

Oh, my friend. I wish I could say I'm joking or exaggerating. But no. It's true. And that's what he told me, glossing over it and downplaying, so it may have been even worse than I realized. His parents let him and his siblings take turns sleeping with the family cat in their respective beds. He'd get very aroused when it was his turn and... I guess he masturbated over it or something. Yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/10/21 06:40 AM
66

Did a few gigs here and there but didn't have a "real" job. I was willing to financially support his ass! Lived with his parents in his late twenties. Wasn't interested in moving out. Was completely obsessed with sex. Had a history of being aroused by animals. Never gave me an orgasm. Never even tried. Never gave his exes orgasms, either. Had me pay for everything, even after he said he would. Deliberately sought out more expensive food for me to buy for him. Told absurd lies for no reason. When…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 03:56 PM
79

I'll never forget the time in college when I shared an apartment with two other young women -- no males lived there -- and a dude came over to visit, used the bathroom, and left the toilet seat up. Like, dude? I could understand doing that at his own place, although it still invites things to fall in (yep, I prefer to have the lid down as well as the seat), but when you visit a home of women only? I just thought that was so disrespectful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 02:47 PM
34

he threw them in my face and then stuck his hands in his pockets because his friends were watching and he didn't want to appear 'soft' Excuse me. What the fuck?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 06:10 AM
146

Well, I've been hanging out here for a while, despite being married to a man (quite happily), and I would have to say I don't hate men (I sure do love the one I married) and I don't see a lot of other women hating men here. We hate low-value and zero-value and negative-value men. But we don't hate men. Our entire strategy, basically, is to avoid the men that aren't high-value, who will drain us mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and financially if we let them. And many women tend to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 04:20 PM
6

OMG formula is freaking expensive. WTF?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/10/21 06:57 AM
2

A few years ago I read an article written by someone who was involved behind the scenes in the porn industry, like the cameraman or something. He'd worked on both heterosexual and gay male porn, and he said that the gay male porn was remarkably different in that it involved tenderness and respect between the parties instead of, as with heterosexual porn, degrading and hurting one of them (the woman, obviously). I can't remember where I read that article but I could try to find it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:20 AM
7

And they will merrily go on with their lives and never give a damn that they ruined hers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 02:12 AM
26

I would be very surprised if she even consented to group sex at all, even before it got "rough" and/or anal. A sixteen-year-old girl is a child, and even most experienced adult women who know what they're consenting to don't want that shit. Sure, it's possible that she consented (without being pressured into it, drugged, deceived, etc.), but I don't think it's remotely likely. And the part where it got "rough" is even less likely to have been consented to. So either this is an extremely anomalou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 01:58 AM
7

TIL that my shitty ex wasn't the only dude who had inappropriate relations with cats. I wish I could say I'm joking.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:49 AM
201

Well damn, my husband got down on his knee with a ring, and you're telling me he could have listed it as a chore on the whiteboard instead? I feel cheated!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:35 AM
251

"Rough group sex" almost certainly means rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 05:19 AM
21

These are hilarious! I want to see more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/09/21 12:15 AM
2

I'm sorry. Attempted murder. I was being careless with words and didn't mean to cause confusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:06 PM
40

Yes, this. When a pregnant woman loses a wanted baby, it's the same thing as losing a child. Very traumatic and heartbreaking. I agree. What he did was murder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 02:19 PM
2

Well damn, what does he need forgiveness for?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 11:06 AM
18

You’re at high risk of hyperfocusing on a relationship with him which can cause you to miss or excuse more subtle red flags. That is a very good point. I remember feeling that way about my most negative of negative-value exes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 07:51 AM
4

Is 2 weeks of dating too early to say yes to a relationship if he asks? IMO, probably. It's hard to really know someone well after only two weeks. And you don't want to be too available to him too soon. He needs to earn your commitment, not just ask for it. Obviously if it seems like a good prospect you don't want to lose it. If he does ask, you can maybe just tell him that you really like him and you want to see where the relationship goes, but you're not quite ready to be "serious" just yet. A…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/09/21 07:49 AM
9

Preventing STDs and pregnancy aren't the only reasons a woman might insist on a condom. Semen can alter the pH of the vagina and make it more prone to infection. And just because she made a mistake in the past doesn't mean she has to do so again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/09/21 11:56 PM
63

It's interesting how they seemed to assume it's sexual in the first place. I can think of many non-sexual contexts in which people feel the need to say "no." As someone who often struggled to refused requests that were an imposition, I remember feeling very proud of myself when I refused to give my time and energy to an acquaintance who was pressing for it. And it wasn't about sex at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 07:09 PM
19

This is horrifying. I used to have that attitude toward my cluster-B disordered useless ex. I didn't care that he lived with his parents in his late twenties. I didn't care that he didn't have a real job. I was willing to take care of him, because I loved him. I shudder looking back on that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 02:47 AM
21

After the weekend, we were getting ready to leave and learned that he was going on a surfing trip with his buddies for 3 days while leaving her at the resort by herself right after their wedding. What. The. Fuck??!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 10:37 PM
70

Very true. Naturally we expect men to see our gestures as kind and respectable, and to think well of us and appreciate us for them. And then we're surprised when they don't. Because we would, if the tables were turned. But that's not how men are when it comes to dating. Like it or not, it's just not their nature.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 07:43 AM
49

If we're in a serious, committed relationship, then sure, I'll pay for some things and buy him gifts and stuff. But one thing I've learned about dating is that a man who's into you will want to court you. He is the pursuer, and that means, among other things, paying for dates. If he doesn't do so, then you're just friends, at most.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 07:40 AM
44

Natural selection and survival of the fittest is why the human race exists today but okay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 12:42 AM
15

"Telling her to unblock me" WTF? Does he think women just order their friends around because some guy says to do so?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 06:14 AM
62

That's generally how I feel about my college boyfriends. Some of them were definitely good guys, but I was young and not ready for a serious commitment and I moved away after graduation and they didn't, so... it just wasn't the right time or place. But I don't pine for them. I remember them fondly and hope they're doing well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:05 PM
32

To be fair, there have been a few good guys I've regretted losing. One in particular was absolutely perfect for me, but I met him on the heels of a breakup with a Cluster B disordered negative-value man (or perhaps I should say little boy) who messed me up about love and trust and relationships, so I wasn't able to make it work with the HVM during the time it took me to recover (longer than I care to admit)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 05:01 PM
399

Yes! And so many women will end up with men who earn significantly more than they do and therefore have a luxurious standard of living: fancy apartment, fancy restaurants, etc., etc. BUT the girlfriend gets to pay half the rent and bills, because equality!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 03:55 PM
11

Ugh! Why do they say things like that? Do they seriously think we're gonna go "oh how wonderful I get to have this lovely prize of a man!"? I remember a dude I had to interact with in a professional capacity telling me he left his wife YESTERDAY and was now free to date me (oh, lucky me!). They'd had a stupid argument (it really was a stupid issue) and he said it was over. I wasn't interested in him but I was like, "you can walk away from your marriage just like that?" and he said "yup." Dude th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 06:07 PM
94

Years ago when I was using OLD I met a man whose profile said he was single (of the options that the site offered, including divorced, widowed, and separated -- single implies never married) and that he had no children. Turned out he was actually divorced (or so he said later; for all I know even that was a lie too and he was still married) and he had a son. He offered the usual excuse of not wanting to scare off potential partners with the truth, as if it were better to be dishonest. (?!) I did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/21 12:14 AM
151

Is it wrong that I'm wishing you'd just laid there next to him in bed masturbating right in front of him after doing the deed?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 11:46 PM
30

What the fuck? Honestly it wouldn't be okay for him to talk about your daughter that way even if she were an adult, although her being 13 makes it extra disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/09/21 05:03 PM
37

while I was learning how to make his favorite desert for his upcoming birthday, he was doing something like this Sigh. Yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 10:58 PM
25

I've never found him attractive or admirable and never understood how anyone did.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 11:56 AM
14

That's extremely unprofessional. Does he work for any kind of business you could report him to, or is he independent?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 01:48 PM
18

And you have those losers we were talking about in another thread yesterday: the kind who say they need ten fucking years to decide if a woman is marriage material, or will stay with a girlfriend for fifteen years knowing they don't want to marry and have kids with her (and knowing that that's what she wants). Men: Women are dried up and unattractive by their late twenties and infertile by 35! Settle down and have kids NOW, ladies! Also men: I need to take you for a ten-year test drive before I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 09:13 AM
89

thinking that he will be able to bag a beautiful women when he’s in his 40s and 50s He'll be like the men who pestered us when we were in our 20s and they were in their 40s and 50s, even though our profiles clearly said we were looking for someone not old enough to be our father. That type of man. Thinks he's entitled to a young woman with no regard for whether or not he's what she wants.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:31 PM
73

I feel so bad for her. I hope she still had time to find someone worthwhile to have kids with. That's such an abusive thing to do to someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:28 PM
94

During those ten years he'd expect you to move in with no commitment and no possibility of alimony or life insurance, so that he can have a live-in housekeeper and on-demand sex. Oh, and you have to pay half the bills, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/21 01:27 PM
2

Ugh I'm sorry to hear that. :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/09/21 01:07 PM
9

Yeah, it's not the first time I've seen posts there that weren't really choosing beggars.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 06:06 PM
32

Well congrats, Sis, you managed to piss off a bunch of scrotes at ChoosingBeggars. To be fair, though, a lot of people in that thread could at least understand why you didn't want to go on an unsafe first date to the house of a virtual stranger. But many still felt the need to protest "but... but... she should at least have told him why, or suggested something else instead!" If any of you are on the fence, or came here from that thread, let's break this down for you: ​ A MAN KNOWS (or should kno…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 05:09 PM
33

I'm so sorry you went through that and glad you're safe now (you are, right?). And hats off to your mom.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 12:25 PM
18

So it sounds like this would have been a first/early date? "Would you like to come over to my house for pizza?" is perfectly fine and appropriate for an established couple that have been seeing each other for a while and are happy and comfortable together. But for a first date, or one of the first, hell to the no. Good on you for not wasting time with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/21 10:10 AM
21

I would also tell younger me to look up the signs of Cluster B personality disorders. Younger me didn't have a fucking clue about them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:06 PM
21

This is good advice.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:04 PM
32

This may be controversial, but this is what younger me needed to hear: Don't look for the high of feeling "in love." Look for comfort and respect. Look for someone you have fun with. Look for someone who treats you right and prioritizes you. You don't need "chemistry" as long as you don't find him repulsive. And never, ever, EVER chase a man. If he pulls away, let him go and never look back. No amount of wanting him to love you and prioritize you will ever make him do so. Quite the contrary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 07:03 PM
14

He is white so he must be HV, he is black so he must be LV. Holy sheet, are people really saying that?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 06:37 PM
2

Amen.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/21 05:48 AM
219

Even if I give the biggest possible benefit of the doubt, it still breaks down like this: if you have a fiancée, you're not "free." If you have a girlfriend, you're not "free." And if you value your idea of "freedom" that much, then you shouldn't have a girlfriend, or a fiancée, or a wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 07:18 PM
5

OMG you're so right. I hadn't thought of it like that before, but yeah.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/08/21 05:51 AM
52

How much you wanna bet she does most of the household chores, too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 03:13 PM
21

I'm pleased to say... I didn't. ;)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 11:01 AM
11

Hahaha. Nope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 09:14 AM
56

I remember pouring my heart out about a trauma I was going through to a guy I was dating. He responded with disinterest and dismissal. And then had the audacity to ask "so when are you going to open up to me?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/08/21 08:09 AM
111

First date, before we'd ever met in person: he suggested meeting in a public place and expressed willingness to pick me up while also acknowledging that I'd likely feel better about just meeting him at the restaurant. When I got home there was a voice mail from him (this was early 2000s, before I had a cell phone) telling me he'd had a nice time, hoped I got home safely, and would like to see me again. Didn't play emotional games like waiting three days to call. Subsequent dates: he'd taken note…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 05:15 PM
56

“You know my phone rings too, right?” Oh, does it? Okay. Then I'll call you when I give a fuck. Goodbye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:51 AM
65

I look at some of the things I used to put up with when I was younger and I am sick to my stomach. Same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:47 AM
19

Hahahahahaha Bullet dodged. Glad you didn't waste an evening with this loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 04:46 AM
5

[hugs]
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 05:37 PM
123

They are the real gold diggers. The chance to have sex with a woman is gold. If it weren't they wouldn't want it so badly. That's how it is with all things of value.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:29 AM
59

In the past I was preyed on by one of these men. I dumped his ass and met someone better. Someone who wasn't looking for transactional sex. Someone who was looking for commitment. Unfortunately because of my history, it was hard to trust and give my heart to the HVM that I'd found. He eventually moved on. And so the predator continued to hurt me even after I broke it off with him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/08/21 07:22 AM
384

Men have been known to rape babies, toddlers, old ladies, nuns, and animals. Are all of them to blame for being too damn sexy? Oh, and men, too. Is it also men's fault when they're raped by other men?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 03:15 PM
75

I hate what I'm about to say, but this is what I've heard from the kind of negative-value man who dismisses women's fears of sexual assault: it's different when it happens to men. (That's what they say, not what I think.) Mumble mumble vagina exists to accept dick, anus does not. Mumble mumble. As if women never get anally raped. As if that's the entirety of the difference, and not, you know, the horror of being impregnated by a rapist, something men will never, ever grok. But these men are eith…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 03:32 AM
67

Have you found any worthwhile men this way? Have any accepted the dare?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:50 AM
15

I suppose anything's possible, but I wouldn't count on it. I'd recommend that women who respect themselves seek out more wholesome men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 06:09 AM
5

Damn. What a fucker.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:00 AM
9

Not trying to speak for OP, but if you google "cutting soul ties" you'll find out all about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 04:50 AM
37

not use condoms because "I already have herpes so" shrug Ah, so he doesn't have any moral qualms about giving an incurable infection to someone else. What a sweetheart.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 04:48 AM
53

And you just know this prick is probably whining on social media "I was going to take my ungrateful daughter out to dinner for her birthday but she stood me up and won't even speak to me! I'm such a victim wah wah." (well maybe not those exact words lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:29 AM
143

Good on you, sis! It's one thing to be habitually five minutes late. It's one thing to be occasionally hours late when you have an actual legitimate reason. Being habitually hours late (because of a hobby?!) is so far beyond disrespectful I can't even wrap my mind around it. And FWIW you're not alone. My dad never acknowledged my 40th birthday, or my 30th, or my 25th/21st/20th, or literally any birthdays in my entire life that I can actually remember with maybe one half-assed exception. I haven'…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 12:25 AM
5

Absolutely, as long as his partner is confident that he's STD-free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 11:06 PM
11

Oh, cry me a river. Men are concerned about having to be faithful to a woman who, like everyone, gets older over time? Traditionally women who entered into marriage had to be financially dependent on a man who may or may not be (or become) physically, verbally, emotionally, spiritually, or financially abusive, may or may not be (or become) an alcoholic, may or may not be (or become) unfaithful and potentially expose his wife to STDs, and may or may not someday up and leave her destitute with no …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:59 AM
3

Oh look, someone wrote a book about my ex!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 11:28 PM
127

Nobody's forcing a guy to use a condom. He can always just abstain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 11:01 PM
76

Nobody my age knows anything HPV, which is alarming. A lot of women are just vaguely aware of HPV but they don't worry about it because they were vaccinated for it. Problem with that is that the vaccine isn't a 100% guarantee that you won't get cervical cancer, but it provides this false sense of security so women don't think they need pap smears and don't catch the cancer early enough to treat it. It's horrible. (I mean, I'm not saying don't get the vaccine, but don't assume that it means you d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:59 PM
53

I hate to say it but the problem with condoms is you can't trust the guy not to "stealth." But I tried BC once and it was agonizing for me. No way would I ever do that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 10:54 PM
1

Absolutely!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 08:55 PM
71

I needed to hear this. Not necessarily so much for today me, but for past me who still needs healing. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/08/21 05:02 AM
80

Count me in.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:36 PM
0

You asked a question and I've answered. You've made it clear that you disagree, and that's fine, but I'm as entitled to my opinion as you are to yours. Cheerio.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:14 PM
2

She should know that her father is to blame Perhaps, but she's been fed this bullshit directly from her father all her life. It can take many years to unravel the damage and false ideas planted in one's head by one's parents, even with therapy. Some people don't figure it all out until their thirties, forties, or even fifties, and you expect her to have a lifetime's worth of wisdom by the age of 25 solely because her brain is done with physical development? That's not how human psychology works.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 04:32 PM
1

Because she was a child and didn't know better. And being traumatized by what happened is valid. She had a mother figure who walked out on her (not without reason, but as a child Tamara wasn't in a position to understand). She had a dad who was obviously shitty. She'd had a mother who died. All of that is hard to deal with. It's easy to say she should just grow up, but trauma is a hard thing to deal with, and obviously Will wasn't helping her deal with it in a healthy way. That's not Tamara's fa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 02:12 PM
5

Oh God, I know. I feel so sad for them that their reaction isn't "I'm getting the fuck away from this goddamn psycho right the hell NOW" but rather "what should I do?" How lacking in self worth do they have to be to think this way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 01:00 AM
36

I don't blame Tamara for feeling upset, and I don't even blame her for treating the stepmom horribly (whatever that involved) -- children behave horribly sometimes and it's their parents' job to correct them. But this is on Will, not OOP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 12:52 AM
9

You're not alone. {hugs}
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 10:43 PM
11

Thank you! I speak from unfortunate past experience. (As do many of us... *sigh*)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:58 PM
13

This is why it's so important to look for a guy who wants to spend time with you, who actively pursues you even after you're already dating. If he's just going through the motions and doesn't seem invested, it's because he's not. You're just a placeholder, a fuck buddy, an ego boost. Not his girlfriend. Not his love. Move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:37 PM
18

He lead with future faking and love bombing and it slowly moved toward being really critical of me. Yep, that's the pattern they follow. If you're not familiar with it, it's crazy-making. This person who absolutely adored you (or so he said) is suddenly acting like you're contemptible, and you have no idea why. What changed? Why did he go from loving me to pushing me away? And you get no answers so it eats away at you. But it's basically what it sounds like: he devalues you. Even though you did …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:31 PM
6

Yes! If a man's approach to a relationship is to nag for sex and lose respect for any woman who gives in... then I lose respect for him. Is he too pushy about sex too soon? Bye bye, a-hole.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:15 PM
73

Does it feel like he's moving too fast at the beginning? If so, that's probably love bombing/future faking. Is his affection/attention mostly words (e.g. "I love you so much! I can't wait to marry you someday!")? That may be LB/FF. Or does he show his interest by his actions, by doing things that make you feel like you're important to him? When in doubt, try holding back. (I don't mean ignore him, but just be a bit more reserved and don't climb on board with his declarations of love and a future…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 07:04 PM
69

HVMs will acknowledge and accommodate the need for a public space and separate transportation for a first date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/21 10:28 AM
6

I think being a SAHM is great if it's what she wants and she is not in a situation to be abused or exploited or abandoned. (Being financially dependent on a man is very risky: what if he leaves you? Is there a good prenup or alimony laws that you can count on? What if he abuses you? Are you confident that he treats you right and this will never change, even after you're "locked in"? If, God forbid, he dies, does he have adequate life insurance?) And provided that the man has enough income to sup…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/21 10:01 PM
4

anyone who had their house almost burned down would be upset most of the water had boiled off the soup and it had started smoking Make up your mind, dude. A mostly-boiled-away pot of soup is not your house almost burning down.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/21 04:43 AM
10

And you know he's sitting there thinking "ugh, this harpy is making me clean up vomit six times just to get the blow job I'm entitled to."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/08/21 11:03 PM
19

He could be dating a different woman every day of the week in order to get free meals since he's broke. I mean, that's the theory. That's what he wants, if he can find seven women willing to put up with this nonsense.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/21 06:51 AM
6

Isn't his income legally hers too since they're married?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/21 07:56 PM
50

"You're not a real feminist if you won't show me your boobs. I'm more feminist than you are. Bitch."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/21 05:23 PM
25

She said he had the kind of body she found attractive! I'm not a fitness junkie but... pushups, for abs? I thought crunches were for abs, and pushups were for pecs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/21 11:29 AM
8

Absolutely, 100%.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:27 PM
33

I can't stand men like that. There's gotta be a special place in hell for them. You lost my respect by faking a relationship in order to bang, dude. Take your respect and shove it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/07/21 08:22 PM
6

I'm supposed to be my husband's side chick?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/07/21 07:33 PM
28

That's happened to me. Older guy, claimed to be younger than he was. His true age was within my preferred range, but the fact that he lied was a deal-breaker. Why is that so hard to grok? Nobody wants a partner who lies to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/07/21 10:25 PM
11

Yep. I've been there too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 11:03 AM
27

I'll add one thing and I'll probably get a lot of flak for this, but this has been my experience. Apart from strictly financial concerns themselves, low-income men often, in my experience, seem to be lacking in a certain level of maturity or self-regard that is necessary for a good relationship. I'm sure we're all familiar with the idea of a man waiting until he's financially comfortable to propose to a woman. It was perhaps more of an olden-days thing than it is today, but it's thoroughly ingra…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 10:49 AM
4

I am so sorry that happened to you. Thank you for taking action that is protecting others!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/21 11:00 AM
375

She had to leave? He should have left. In handcuffs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/07/21 09:01 PM
37

He'd be getting divorce papers if I were his wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/21 08:00 PM
4

It's bad enough when it's a two-foot pile of a mattress on top of a box spring on the floor. My ex slept on a single mattress about five inches thick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/21 08:15 AM
7

EEEWWWW
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 06:48 PM
41

I'll bet most of these aren't really all that weird or unusual, but here's my list: Doesn't ask for a kiss and then proceed to force one on me when my answer isn't affirmative. Doesn't immediately start groping me during the first second of our first kiss. Actually tries, and wants, to give me an orgasm when (if) we get into sexy time. Doesn't sit there begging me to service him while making a point of refusing to return the favor. Walks next to me, not ten feet ahead of me. Doesn't tell pointle…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/06/21 06:44 PM
23

What's even worse is the men who prey on women and then don't care if other men prey on their daughters. Men like my father.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/06/21 01:56 PM
3

Wow! He was really big for a three-year-old.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 02:43 PM
16

Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 03:16 PM
57

And the form of sexual assault euphemistically labeled the "lane change."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:30 AM
7

Sweet Jesus
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:55 AM
13

This phenomenon has been driving me crazy since college, when I first noticed that whenever I showed basic courtesy to a male, he'd assume I had a crush on him. I know, these men are just being arrogant idiots and I should be able to laugh it off, but it honestly just annoys the hell out of me. One particularly frustrating incident was when I told a male friend how much I appreciated his friendship and he looked all awkward and said "you know we're not going to be more than friends, right?" He t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:49 AM
6

Ask them with your sexiest smile so they'll think you're asking because you want to watch it with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 08:31 AM
4

Thanks!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:30 AM
2

I want to see those links!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 12:14 AM
6

It's a tragedy when any parent fails any child. I've known men whose mothers walked out on them, and seen how it affected them. Nobody ever accuses them of having "mommy issues." Nor should they. And they shouldn't denigrate women with "daddy issues." They should direct that ridicule and disapproval toward the daddy, 100%. He's the one at fault.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/03/21 10:58 PM
8

I met a guy online that I was really interested in at first, but I googled his screen name and he used the same handle everywhere. (It was unique enough I was confident it was him, plus he had the same writing style and focused his attention on a lot of the same things I already knew were important to him.) Hoo boy, indeed! He spewed vitriol at random women online for no reason. And only women. I also found out he'd lied to me about a few things, including his age. At first I thought it was a ty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/03/21 11:06 PM
13

I wish I weren't about to say what I'm about to say, but... I read once that they've developed (or are working on) a sex robot that refuses consent so the owner can pressure or force "her."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 08:20 AM
23

I have respect for men who prefer virgins if, and only if, those men are virgins themselves. I have known a few such men. I can understand and respect wanting to save sex for marriage, to treat it as something so sacred and/or special and/or powerful that it deserves that level of commitment. But again, it only works this way if both parties are held to the same standard, including the man. (I didn't wait for marriage, but yeah, I respect and understand it.) I've known far more men who see fit t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 08:14 AM
9

Or... NOT raising their sons.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 10:52 AM
18

Porn stars don't like it either. They're acting. That's what they're required to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 12:04 AM
98

why would I do that **WHOOSH**
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 08:46 PM
7

That was pretty much my exact thought process as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 11:13 PM
202

"I'm not necessarily able or willing to know what you want or need." - My ex (emphasis added)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/21 04:19 PM
68

Height, too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 07:47 PM
12

100% this. I was once out with a guy when my shoe started falling apart, and I told him, and I wasn't able to walk fast. He kept walking ahead of me, and I was miserable feeling like I was slowing him down, and, worse, that he didn't care enough to stay by my side, even when he knew I had a problem with my shoe. Afterward I told him I was uneasy with it and never saw him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 11:55 AM
314

Honestly, yeah. He probably thought she hung up because she was so befuddled by his job description that went over her head, or embarrassed that she didn't understand it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:47 PM
15

Good on you! And congratulations!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 12:44 PM
77

So... he didn't build you a bookcase?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 10:54 PM
14

Women: "Your behavior toward me was hurtful." LVM: "Your calling out my behavior is hurtful; you're an emotional abuser."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:53 AM
3

AMEN, QUEEN
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:52 AM
9

So did mine, quite literally. When my brother abused me, and my parents KNEW it, they blamed me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/20 04:46 AM
6

When a man tells you anything negative about himself, BELIEVE HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 01:06 AM
44

I'm in a Facebook group about "law of attraction" stuff (TBH I barely pay it any attention but joined out of curiosity) and a man posted recently asking how to manifest a woman who isn't fat even though he is himself fat. Dude, try manifesting less hypocrisy first. It'll make you more attractive!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/03/20 04:04 AM
24

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. What did he expect? If he wanted to be exclusive he could have at least said so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:14 PM
56

It's hardly women's fault that men want to pay for dates when they're serious about a woman, and don't when they're not. We're just observing men's behavior and living accordingly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:10 PM
10

Stop being single moms? So, just murder your children?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 11:07 PM
7

Maybe it's just me but I hate the implication that dating a guy one time ("one chance") implies that you're having sex with him. Or do women get called "hoes" for merely dating? Nothing wrong with dating more than one guy at a time as long as you're not committed or dishonest about it. Edit to add: I personally would never call any woman a "hoe" (or "ho") for any reason and I hope it didn't come across otherwise. I only used the word, in quote marks, because it was in the original post. I do not…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/20 05:57 PM
28

I'm so sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:32 PM
29

I just cackled like a witch. Serves him right.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 04:27 PM
4

Never have sexual relations of any kind with a man who hasn't proven (not merely stated, but proven) his devotion to you (unless all you want with him is sex). Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I still think it's a good idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 09:59 AM
6

Not to mention love bombing is usually a sign that he's either narcissistic or borderline disordered, and will make your life hell if you fall for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/20 07:37 AM
6

THANK YOU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 08:56 PM
9

“nooo, i think that’s submissive for a guy to do that.. but my wife still has to suck my dick.” HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I don't think so, loser. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 09:21 AM
1

Yes, sister! You did the right thing! He would know by now if he could see getting serious with you. He doesn't want that, so you'll never be happy with him. He's not the one for you. Cut your losses and move on. You'll feel better in a few days or so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 07:27 AM
26

I'm not sure how to raise the topic before sex, or at least before making out. If the right opportunity arises, one thing that works is to ask him "what kind of porn do you like?" with a sexy smile so he'll think your interest is in watching it with him. In that situation a man is unlikely to say "I'm not really that interested in porn" unless it's the truth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 06:41 AM
14

I usually just ask for water and I've never felt a need to explain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 05:01 AM
5

I wish I'd had FDS when I was dating.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/20 04:32 AM
15

Chin up, sister! These things happen. He just wasn't the one for you. You'll find the one who is. I know it hurts right now but give yourself a little time, a little pampering, and then get back out there when you're ready. You'll feel better in time, and sooner or later you'll find someone else who's just as good as this guy but more right for you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/20 04:52 AM
49

Back in the day I asked guys out a few times. Even when they accepted they were never really into me. I soon learned that men rarely fall in love with women who pursue them. Like it or not, that's just how it is. So of course I stopped asking men out, and I'd advise all women not to ask men out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 05:35 AM
5

A short man can absolutely be a HVM in my opinion. And I'm tall! That said, women are allowed to have preferences for what they're attracted to physically, and many prefer men who are not too short. That's fine. Men certainly hold us to high standards physically; we can do the same if we want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 02:27 AM
29

When I was using OLD in my twenties and early thirties I got tons of messages from men old enough to be my father. Never mind that I clearly stated my preferred age range in my profile, and that range didn't include these old codgers. And my range wasn't even that strict, it just wasn't, like, 20 years older than me. The entitlement, I swear.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:38 AM
16

Yup. All of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/20 12:37 AM
13

Yass queen! Stay strong! That loser had his chance and he blew it. His loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 08:02 PM
14

Fellow prude here. I wouldn't ever want to kiss a guy who licks ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/01/20 07:16 PM
27

The other day I was talking with a saleslady and she asked "Are you married or are you happy?" That made me laugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 06:42 PM
9

Ugh. Will you ever be able to trust this person? I'm thinking not. Better to get out now rather than continue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 07:41 AM
9

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/20 01:39 AM
4

This is sadly true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:09 PM
9

Untoasted strudels 'cause they don't know how to toast them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:06 PM
7

IT HAS INSTRUCTIONS RIGHT THERE ON THE BOX
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:05 PM
13

Dang. Nobody ever taught me how to make scrambled eggs, yet I was able to figure it out on my own 'cause I have more than three brain cells.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:04 PM
82

I mean, even if she didn't give him a knife, wouldn't a normal adult say something like "where do you keep the knives?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 03:49 AM
38

OMG. LOL.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/20 12:55 AM
6

Oh that's brilliant!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 11:41 PM
3

How do you watch old seasons? Are they online?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 01:20 AM
4

OMG I'm dying. 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 01:18 AM
124

I wish someone had told me this when I was 25.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/20 12:23 AM
28

I feel bad for the child and his/her mother. This dude needs to go flush himself down the toilet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/20 08:27 PM
23

In other words, "I'm lousy in bed and it'd be a waste of your time to have sex with me." Nice of him to let everyone know!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 10:55 PM
16

Yes. I wish more women had enough self worth to refuse to tolerate that bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 10:51 PM
10

Really glad you dodged that bullet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 06:22 PM
40

What the actual fuck? Men never cease to amaze me with their entitlement and audacity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 06:18 PM
10

Straight as in not gay? Probably protesting too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:43 PM
9

And the only one of those that's actually true is "rapist."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:42 PM
9

Alex is actually about 47 or 48 (even he's not sure), 5'8", with a huge beer belly and an unstoppable addiction to alcohol. He's a "traveler" because he goes to the 7-11 a couple streets over.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:41 PM
90

A man can avoid embarrassment by starting with "I would love to take you to dinner sometime."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/20 12:03 AM
3

Good advice!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 01:23 PM
50

"If a woman is able to opt out of pregnancy... then I think the guy should have ... the same protection." Absolutely. Men should be able to opt out of pregnancy too. OH WAIT MEN DON'T GET PREGNANT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/20 12:26 AM
16

How did this approach work out for him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 11:47 PM
6

Jeez, that's scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 08:54 PM
265

"Do you like younger men?" "Sure! You want to set me up with your son?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/20 05:26 PM
67

Abusers don't like it when people won't take their abuse, or advise others not to take it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/20 04:35 PM
4

Yeah, they sound like really $#!tty parents. Misogynist too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 11:07 PM
6

Yep. If he'd quit while he was ahead, she would have given birth like he wanted. It's a mercy all around, though. Poor kid is better off not being raised by him and his family.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 05:44 PM
15

Hahahahaha I want to know how she did. Was her assessment 100% accurate, or only 99.7%?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:52 PM
40

Maybe her comment was sincere? Maybe she thought they were just friends who (I assume) had sex sometimes? Or she was just dating him to have someone to go out with until she met someone better? I used to have guys I was dating steadily because I wanted someone to date until I found Mr. Right. I mean, I don't know, but these are possibilities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 04:46 PM
104

Watch him turn around and dump her for someone who doesn't need her wheelchair pushed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 12:18 PM
10

"What I saw... that was a boy. I'm looking for a man." High-five, Rachel! You go, girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 10:30 AM
3

Are you in this situation? Do you need help getting your fiance to just tie the knot already?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/20 07:48 AM
16

Yeah, I look like a toad but I'm 99% sure my husband hasn't cheated on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 09:31 PM
26

I want someone who will never stop trying for me because they value having me in their life. This!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 08:06 PM
34

It's almost like if he can't have a bio child, then she can't either. Which is ridiculously petty, and yeah, that part about the fertility testing was just insane. And then he wraps up his little rant by wishing he had a son or grandson. Well, buddy, you could have. (Or maybe daughters and granddaughters -- wouldn't that be tragic?!)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:38 PM
96

I'd suggest asking the guy "What do you think about a wedding in October?" (or whenever you prefer) and if his response is "We should wait until we save more money" (or whatever) then ask him, "Why did you ask me to marry you if you're not ready to get married?" Or if he demurs then ask him "When do you think we should have the wedding?" and if his response is in any way non-committal, then you need to confront him on his sincerity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:30 PM
57

I don't understand people who get engaged and don't start planning the wedding. I think it's fine to plan up to a year out (say you really want a spring wedding or whatever) as long as you're actually making actionable plans. When I hear people say "we're engaged but we haven't set a date" well I hope you just got engaged yesterday and have narrowed down the possible dates, otherwise what are you doing? Are you actually engaged?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:24 PM
57

I would rather just adopt Hell no. I'm not going to raise another man's child, put in all my effort and resources into raising it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 06:04 PM
12

He's perfectly fine with not taking a part-time job that would enable him to pay [some of] the child support his daughter is entitled to. Loser.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 03:45 PM
2

Yeah, that's what it sounds like.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:28 PM
8

Has this ever worked?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 02:23 PM
6

I agree, but I'd change one thing: You're much more likely to find a more commitment minded person in your his 20s. No reason a 30+ woman can't date a man in his mid-late 20s. I did, and am now happily married to him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 01:49 PM
10

Maybe we can share him. :D
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 01:18 PM
6

Hahahahaha but that's not how they think, is it? They think women are looking for a fifty-year age difference.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 01:17 PM
14

Why does everyone keep calling him Grandpa? He's not a grandpa; that's the problem. He aspires to become a grandpa when he's 200 years old and dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:33 AM
12

How do you know he's not 90 and lying to get into the pants of women in the younger age bracket?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:32 AM
19

Waiting until he was at his peak desirability, since men age like fine wine?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:31 AM
21

Hands off, ladies! He's MINE!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 09:29 AM
13

watch him crumble like a Nature Valley bar LOL! Have you ever noticed when you were emotionally unavailable (for good reasons like school or bad reasons like trauma) men tried harder? YES They are socialised to believe that ALL women desire relationships at ALL times. They are socialised to believe in an artificial valuation of their desirability; in fact, most men have this shared psychosis that they’re sexy. 😂😂😂 Yup. How many times have guys just assumed I wanted a commitment from them? A guy …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 08:40 AM
5

This was me. I changed my last name when I got married because my father is a piece of excrement and my husband isn't, so I'd rather have the name of the man who loves me and is good to me and present in my life. It was an easy decision for me, but it was my decision, not my husband's and not society's.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:42 AM
7

I'd like to hear the reasoning behind men who assume their wives will take the men's last names.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/20 07:38 AM
4

The wife is a very sweet lady to help out the young woman, who is innocent and has really been screwed over by life and by her father. The husband is, of course, a major piece of shit. It's sad that his wife didn't leave his worthless ass. He should get down on his knees and thank his lucky stars she stayed with him, but instead he has the audacity to get mad at her for being a better parent than he is when he's the actual parent? The fuck.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:39 PM
11

What the hell did I just read? I love my childhood stuffed animals as much as anyone, but that shit ain't normal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 04:17 PM
9

They suspended her for that? OMG
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 09:47 AM
66

Sadly true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/01/20 05:52 AM
4

THANK YOU
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/20 07:09 AM
18

They stole dinner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 02:24 PM
3

I mean, did you read it? No, sorry. I must admit, to my chagrin, I am one of those obnoxious people who only read headlines. ​ She sold him to the woman he cheated on her with. Honestly, I still don't understand why she'd want him. I wouldn't want a cheater even if he cheated with me. I was once in a position where an attractive married man wanted to have a thing with me and my best friend told me to go for it, saying "maybe he'll leave his wife" and I was all, like, why would I want someone who…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 03:17 AM
44

Good on her, but who'd want to buy a cheating husband?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 05:18 PM
45

When I was doing OLD, I noticed that if a guy listed his profession as something unlikely to provide much income, he was probably not providing for himself. Rather he would be living with his parents or, in one case, on public assistance. Some examples of such professions I noticed were "writer" (the guy aspired to have a book published someday and worked on writing it while living on public assistance) and "tutor" (he did part-time tutoring here and there while living with his parents). This is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 03:53 PM
6

I didn't know it was a circus when I bought the ticket. He didn't have his clown makeup on yet. He was pretending to be a good guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 11:48 PM
13

Yes, of course it is. They call it "stealthing" to normalize it. Ditto the "lane change" -- which is when a man is engaging in intercourse with a woman and proceeds to stick his penis in her anus instead of her vagina (often pretending it was an "accident"). These are both forms of sexual contact without consent, i.e. rape.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 11:46 PM
1

YES.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 07:38 AM
2

DUMP HIM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 07:34 AM
1

OMG I love this so much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/12/19 01:41 AM
2

❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 10:34 PM
7

I'd appreciate the joke, but I wouldn't meet him. I might continue the conversation for fun but he wouldn't get a date.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:47 PM
3

This made me laugh but on a serious note, when a guy hints at not being good relationship material, BELIEVE HIM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:46 PM
8

Be careful what you wish for, fellas, you just might get it! ha ha ha ha ha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:41 PM
3

bitter 30 year old hag OMG I'm dying. 😂 ​ I’m a meals, dancing, bowling, amusement park woman and a guy would have to break me in with wooing and persuasion to go to any sport. Me too! And while I sneered at his football suggestion, the fact is that if he'd been my steady, committed boyfriend I would probably have been perfectly happy to sit through a game with him because it was something he'd like. But for a first date, and the opportunity to earn a second date of my choosing with the entitled…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 09:37 PM
11

BUUUURRRRNNNNN.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 08:23 AM
12

"Let's see where this goes" was what my borderline-disordered ex said after we were physically intimate for the first time, which was after he'd repeatedly proclaimed his love and devotion and desire to relocate for me and to marry me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 04:33 AM
6

For sure. I don't fault him for asking me out. (Well, maybe just a little for contacting a much younger woman whose preferred age range didn't include him.) But when I said I wasn't interested in that activity, he could have said "Okay; is there something else you would like to do instead?" I mean, the point of a date is for the man to try to win the woman's affection, right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 04:19 AM
5

I actually met him in real life, at a training thing for work. I did occasionally meet a few good guys through OLD but it never worked out with any of them. (At least one time it was completely my fault.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 03:35 AM
10

We met online and lived far apart. We communicated via email and phone for a few months and fell in love (or so I thought). He wanted to meet me in person and made plans to travel to where I lived. He was on vacation with his family but told me he was going to cut the vacation short because he just couldn't wait any longer to see me. Okay. The day he was to arrive was approaching. I was cleaning and tidying my apartment and getting ready for his visit. He told me literally the day before he was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 02:21 AM
17

High standards while looking like a potato 🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 02:00 AM
27

When they can't be bothered to write so much as one sentence about themselves. I am married but before I met my husband I tried numerous dating sites. I got scores of low-value messages (e.g. "hey, what's up?") from male users and when I looked at their profiles there was NOTHING there. I put a lot of time and thought into describing myself and what I was looking for. Don't bother me if you won't do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 01:55 AM
1

Ticked it to keep options open? Puh-leaze.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:58 AM
7

Hmm, let's see... a drug-using, BPD narcissist who posts a photo of himself in the shower and thinks he deserves a "smokin' hot" partner. Next.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/12/19 12:52 AM
5

But I appreciate that opener. You know right from the jump he's a waste. LOL yup. Saves us a lot of time and trouble when the trash takes itself out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 11:38 PM
32

"Allergic to condoms" 😂 Okay, no sex for you, then.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 09:32 PM
2

I heard somewhere that they actually did give the child the name of the "known" parent (the mother, obviously) but when the parents were married, the mother's name was the father's name. When it so happened the mother wasn't married, the baby still got her unmarried name (until it was adopted out).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:28 PM
2

Okay I just realized I made your parents half-siblings, not half-cousins, but you still get the idea, right? :p
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:21 PM
4

Maybe it helps to look at it this way. If you go back far enough in our ancestry, some of our great-great-great-great...-great-great grandparents would be represented more than once. For example, your mother's great-great-great-great....great-grandfather was the same man as your father's great-great...great-grandfather. That's how the entire human race of 7 billion people descended from a lot fewer than 7 billion people. The thing is, that a person's ancestry will have the same men appear multip…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:19 PM
7

Ooaauugh. I used to know a man who was obsessed with having a son. To carry on the family name. (It was a really freaking common surname, too -- it wasn't about to die out.) When I asked if he'd be disappointed if he had a child and it turned out to be a daughter, he said yes. Needless to say, I was rapidly losing interest in him as a potential husband someday. I politely ignored the offensive assumption that if we got married and had children, they'd have his name instead of mine. But I pointed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 08:03 PM
22

Even if I did do anal, I'd be sooooo put off by that opener.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 03:09 AM
22

Same. I too believed in principle that things should be equal. But they're not. The men I pursued were never interested in me as anything more than a backup plan for if they never found their dream girl. That's just how men are, and we have to work with reality, not with ideals of "equality." That means women shouldn't pursue men. It's as simple as that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 03:00 AM
4

Heck, I'm 5'9" and I've loved some shorties too!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:22 AM
4

"Whichever one doesn't send me a message like this."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:20 AM
50

I read it as sarcasm at first, but sadly, it's totally believable that a lot of women would do this. I'm ashamed to admit I've done it myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 12:17 AM
46

And don't stop listening after the date is over. Does he call or at least text you afterward to make sure you got home safely and/or tell you he had a nice time?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 11:06 PM
12

currently sleeping with a woman who may think of you as her boyfriend/ husband, Honestly, I would just make that: currently sleeping with a woman But that's just me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 11:00 PM
13

I love this story. :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 05:39 PM
86

Expect HIM to do all the housework and make himself pretty for you while you don't lift a finger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/12/19 01:34 AM
5

Because they think a woman's purpose is to receive their dick, and they're trying to put her in her place by sending it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/19 06:34 AM
113

I am in full agreement that if a guy acts like he's not interested, then he's not interested and you need to move on. I do think, however, that it's worth mentioning that the opposite extreme is also a red flag. Narcissists and borderline disordered men will "love bomb" the hell out of you from the get-go, and it's nothing less than predatory behavior. Date the man who shows that he's into you without pushing for too much too soon. If it feels too slow, it is. If it feels too fast, it is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 07:33 PM
37

TRUTH
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 05:17 AM
47

Those poor girls are going to need years and years of therapy. (Hell, the boy probably will too. He's going to wonder why all his girlfriends dump him after he treats them the way his dad taught him to treat women and girls. But he's not my main concern here; his poor sisters are.)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/19 04:35 AM
6

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 07:39 PM
60

Truth! I dated a grown-ass man after breaking up with an abusive narcissist, and the new guy nearly thought I was crazy for thinking he'd care about stupid stuff... stupid stuff the narc ex taught me to think men would care about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 06:43 PM
4

YES exactly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 04:40 AM
4

I dated multiple guys at the same time and never felt bad about it. I never lied to any of them and wasn't "official" with them... until I was, and then I didn't date anyone else. However, if I found out one of the guys was seeing someone else, I would have stopped dating him. I think it's different when a man dates multiple women than when a woman dates multiple men. (I have my reasons, which make sense in my own head.) Does that make me a hypocrite?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/19 04:23 AM
12

I don't want to be argumentative and I think your main point is solid, but if someone treats you badly, that's not love. He may think it's love. He may sincerely believe with every fiber of his being that he loves you. But if he actually does love you, he will treat you well. But whether or not you believe he loves you, and whether or not he believes he loves you, if he treats you badly, then love yourself enough to not put up with it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 09:06 PM
44

He doesn't want to "set the wrong precedent" for their future together by buying her an inexpensive one-time symbol of their relationship that he knows will make her happy. He doesn't want to "set the wrong precedent." This part sticks out to me. He is controlling beyond the power of words to describe. He thinks it's up to him to determine the nature of their relationship. He thinks it's up to him to make the important decisions. He sees her as a child (at best) that he needs to not spoil. Run, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/12/19 05:05 AM
40

What would he have done a hundred years ago when there were no iPads and porn websites? Somehow the human race evolved without porn. I'm pretty sure it's not a necessity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/19 09:00 PM
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