Does it ever just make you sad how much women will put up with?

Feministtiktok · 2021-08-31T19:50:10+00:00

It depresses me thinking of how much even I used to put up with. Like damn I’m embarrassed of all the losers I let date me. I’m ashamed of past me and the worst part is I’m not 100% sure that future me is fully used to practicing FDS rules to do better. I dated a man who physically abused me and I cried when he dumped me for not being obedient enough because I didn’t want to be alone.

cakewalkofshame · 2021-08-31T19:17:34+00:00

"I love(d) him." It's always the answer, isn't it? But what is love exactly, but a pulse of intense emotion? You can get that from anyone where there is history, especially a contentious one. Emotions can be deconditioned, habits unlearned. Women need to love themselves as fiercely and thoroughly as they love these worthless men.

throwawayastrogirl · 2021-08-31T20:49:52+00:00

They never tasted true independence. A woman must spend a significant portion of her life living alone and being on her own without a man; once she does, a man will not be competing with her other suitor but with her comfortable solitude. This is crucial; women stay because they don't believe they can make it on their own and/or they think they don't deserve better.

jupitaur9 · 2021-08-31T20:31:51+00:00

I don’t remember where, but someone said it would be great if we could harness the emotional energy young women have into something really valuable. Instead of propping up the men who don’t deserve it.

MissouriBlue · 2021-08-31T19:05:58+00:00

Women are trained in Co-Dependency in many families. Trained to put everyone else’s needs before their own. And until they’re completely depleted, they don’t think twice about the dynamic.

Don’t beat yourself up over having been taught Co-Dependency; take that hard lesson and begin applying FDS guidelines to take back your self-worth and self-love.

👑

mashibeans · 2021-08-31T19:29:20+00:00

Yes, even pre-FDS I hated how much bullshit women had to put up with. When I turned 26, I had an actual breakdown from all the stress and anxiety, constantly worrying about "getting a good job, finding a good man, marrying him, have his kids before 35," among other things, but that was a big one. I considered ending it all, because having to do all that felt like a death sentence.

I'm too good at putting myself in someone else's shoes and stressing over those scenarios, so I just scroll through those type of posts, even here. The good thing is that I know how deep the depravity of men can go, the bad thing is that it's honestly a little depressing, but at the same time it reinforces the fact that no, I wasn't a contrary little brat growing up, and I wasn't in the wrong for challenging certain things people tried to force on me.

GCFDSthrowaway · 2021-08-31T19:43:42+00:00

I look back on my not-so-distant dating past and freaking DIE. How many hours were spent doing text and date post mortems (What did he mean by that? Should I text him? I'll wait until 7, but if I don't hear from him by then...I'll just drop a casual text, it's ok for women to do that!)?! SO. MANY. YEARS wasted playing mental gymnastics with men who weren't qualified to make French fries, much less occupy space in my mind, heart, and vagina. In recent years I've gotten pretty good about choosing men who appear HV, but because I really do want to be in a relationship, I'd let things slide. Oh, you want to grab drinks t0 aSsEsS cHeMiSTrY? Ok, I guess that makes sense. You want me to drive 30 minutes to you because there's a great pub you want to show me? Cool, I'm down! I like pubs...

Fuuuuuuck that. NO MORE. You dine me. Impress me. Make me want to know more about you. Make the date convenient for me because you're A FUCKING GENTLEMAN and know how to treat women. And even when you show me you're great, when you start to exhibit signs of game playing or make me wonder AT ALL what's going on, you're history. Because if you truly were a HVM, I wouldn't have doubts. I'd know. If I don't know? It's a no.

Peak_Tree · 2021-08-31T19:13:35+00:00

It makes me angry tbh. In many countries the prison that keeps women hostage is not a physical one a la afghanistan, but a mental one and I don't know how to help other women to get out of that.

warinmymind94 · 2021-08-31T19:47:47+00:00

I always come back to saying there are live in nanny jobs that pay around $25 An hour. You get to stay there, you often get to use their car to run their errands, you get to use their wifi/amenities, and often times they feed you as well.... in addition to that paycheck. Obviously you have to take care of the kids, run errands, clean up the house a little but idk why women are living with lvms paying half of the bills, and usually buying most if not all the groceries, giving sex and doing all (if not the vast majority) of the housework. You loose out so much.

Pickmes should look for a nany job or work at a preschool /daycare at least you get paid to take care of children.

Ironsculpture · 2021-08-31T21:02:09+00:00

Not anymore. I've recently decided to only care about myself and my mental and physical health have both vastly improved. I'm not risking getting autoimmune diseases worrying about others and insignificant matters anymore. Women would do well to be more selfish.

europoor24 · 2021-08-31T20:46:51+00:00

I'm just trying to get rid of my pick-me ways nowadays and it feels as if you are waking up from a fog, like you didn't realize you've been brainwashed to accept abuse and little effort.

radfem_babe · 2021-08-31T22:26:37+00:00

Being a woman is depressing.

DivineGoddess1111111 · 2021-08-31T23:39:38+00:00

Women would run the world it so many of us weren't engaged with or destroyed by LVM.

CloacaDiddler · 2021-09-01T01:22:59+00:00

Just saw yet another post on the sex subreddit about a young girl who had poor reactions to birth control and her boyfriend who would rather die than use condoms and so what can she do to please him?

Hormonal medication can kill you, give you clots, depression, zero ability to want or enjoy sex and tampers with your body every day…but men totally should never have to have their 30seconds of fun anything but perfect…

Denimiaa · 2021-08-31T21:14:09+00:00

I am going to sit and imagine what men will be like in 50 years.....

lakat17 · 2021-09-01T01:40:13+00:00

I’m more angry at the patriarchical messaging and condition women receive since birth. from the moment we’re born we’re trained to value and fight for male validation and to have a man by our side no matter the cost to our self interest. It’s only because of this conditioning do we allow ourselves to put up with a abusive degrading , and undignified relationships. Sis, we should channel our sadness into concrete action. Like Lilith in the podcast says we need to fight for better working conditions for women. When ever you can take to your female friends about FDS, share the podcasts, follow FDS on Twitter, etc. Become a subscriber to the FDS patreon. The only way we’re going to battle this conditioning and for women as a whole is to make sure we are doing what we can to make sure the messages and values of FDS gets amplified.

Dnotchtiebd · 2021-08-31T21:55:31+00:00

Jesus this was exactly my relationship. Until I finally had enough and my mom gave me support to leave. He couldn't even give me any sympathy when my only grandma died, my favorite person. Fuck him.

HumanAdhesiveness360 · 2021-08-31T23:47:38+00:00

To answer the question, yea, it makes me sad, angry, hopeless. I have a daughter and I absolutely dread the day she brings home some dude that's an absolute LVM I can smell from a mile away All I can do is live my best life, set an example, hold my standards high and hope that FDS philosophy or there like continues to spread, and I feel like it will. The younger generation seems promising

honeybeeroll · 2021-09-01T22:14:59+00:00

I would say probably 98% of women are embarassed and angry at themselves for the loser(s) they once dated. I know I sure am. But. It is what it is. And it doesn't have to be that way anymore. Everyday we make choices about how we want our lives to be, and we have FULL control of never letting crap into our lives again

It does make me sad how much women put up with because I see so many women letting life happen to them, instead of actively living life. It's like they are not in the driver's seat of their own life. They are in the passengers seat, waiting for some myrhically perfect man to hop into the driver's seat and bring them where they want to go. Or they have a man in that driver's seat who's been driving them someplace they don't want to go for years, and it never occurs to them to grab the wheel themselves and kick his ass out of the car.

I used to be like this and I think many women of FDS used to. Took me quite a while to get fed up and see this wasn't working for me, nobody is going to live my life but me. If I want things to happen I have to make them happen. Waiting for a man to come along is wasting my life. I have to drive myself where I want to go. There probably won't be any man in my passenger's seat ever and it took me a while to accept that's okay and actually how I prefer it. I'm enjoying the drive w/o him. Besides, that seat is reserved for my cat anyway 🤣

I wish all women could see this is the only way to live :/

ChgItToRayGunYouFuck · 2021-08-31T18:48:37+00:00

It aggravates me to no end how sooo many men will make double, triple, or even more of what their girlfriend makes and still want them to split the expenses 50/50.

It's like an assured way to get their girlfriends dependent on them to survive... If he is able to get her to unfairly pay more than she should, it ensures she can't save as much to leave his ass. He gets to have his lifestyle at a huge discount in the process.

He also will treat her like shit so she feels mentally and emotionally unstable to leave (along with the aforementioned financial instability).

Makes me absolutely sick.

XMochiixMochiiX · 2021-08-31T18:58:47+00:00

Thank you for this reminder queen !

lessadessa · 2021-08-31T21:35:35+00:00

Men take advantage of women and have someone convinced them that the woman is being benefited by this process. Its so evil and creepy.

queenrothko · 2021-08-31T18:42:35+00:00

I totally understand and feel the same way. I’ve only just discovered this sub and I honestly relate to everything everyone here posts. I was once the kind of person that stayed in relationships and dealt with the onslaught of abuse, manipulation, coercion etc. When I think back now I get so angry about how men treated me. I so badly want to tell the world how they treated me as a young woman. They are living their lives without any kind of repercussion and I’m having therapy 10+ years later because of them. I am angry for all the women that have dealt/deal with the unacceptable behaviour of men.

Hot_coffee_and_Rain · 2021-08-31T19:00:14+00:00

Ugh. I feel like a lot of people have been in that position. I used to think that I was more valuable as a girlfriend for being able to put up with more. Now I see I was low value myself. I should’ve put myself first, and found a man to put me first the same way I would treat him. It sucks I wasted my time thinking I was doing good, I feel humiliated about it.

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2021-09-01T11:04:06+00:00

It makes me sad to think of how many women would have had completely different life trajectories if they hadn't been brainwashed since birth by LVM-centric culture. We tether women to relationships that are closer to 100/-100, and you have to work even harder if you want to do anything more than just keep your head above water. Why not have a culture that just pushes all the -100 LVM out into a shanty town? TBH most of them would be happy living in a toolshed, as long as they had an internet connection, some games, and infinite ramen.

tooflyforyou · 2021-08-31T19:17:49+00:00

I saw the same post and I just couldn’t understand it. I also seen how she tried to justify his renovations for a rental property that no one lives in as to why he can’t help so she can better her education (which is more important).

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-01T01:13:43+00:00

Well, i can relate to this. Specially the last part, he gave me 0 confort when i told him my problems at home, he made me felt guilty for feeling sad or angry. I used to love him too but finally i saw the true man he is and i hate that so i started to think about a breakup, being nice and empathic (such a fool huh) he decided to broke up the relationship with just a f message. And that was it, it hurted to be so blind in love but now i’m free, happier and being myself is something that i don’t wanna lose, never

PinkBlair99 · 2021-09-01T03:42:21+00:00

Every day

AutoModerator · 2021-08-31T18:30:30+00:00

[1] - We Just Launched a Website: wwww.TheFemaleDatingStrategy.com. Click here for registration information. Please also join our Twitter and Instagram Pages for updates!
[2] - Please read the FDS Handbook and Wiki before commenting. Repeated comments demonstrating lack of basic sub knowledge will result in a temporary or permanent ban.
[3] - Please REPORT any comments that do not follow the sub rules. If you do not report it, the mods will not see it.
[4] - PLEASE REMOVE ALL PERSONAL IDENTIFIABLE INFORMATION from images (Name, Location, Job description, education, phone number, etc). Failure to remove ID info will result in a 1-2 day ban. Repeated failures will result in a permanent ban.
[5] - This sub is FEMALE ONLY. All comments from men will be removed and you will be banned. DO NOT REPLY TO MALE TROLLS!! Please DOWNVOTE and REPORT immediately.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

So_FiaSongs · 2021-08-31T18:35:27+00:00

No orgasms? I would have left

ThxFDS · 2021-09-03T19:52:48+00:00

Perseverance is taught as a virtue to young women. Giving up is 'failure'.

CozyMiniKitty · 2021-08-31T18:37:37+00:00

Every single thing shouldn’t be 50/50 in a relationship

shimmerprincesskitty · 2021-08-31T19:18:38+00:00

I hear you. I get it. Sometimes if I think about it too much it feels sad, so to shift that, I think about groups like this, and all the tiny ways things have improved over time (due to the fighting of great women etc) and it gives a glimmer of hope.

Technusgirl · 2021-08-31T19:29:55+00:00

They are just so many men out there that are very entitled and egotistical. It seems everything they do stems from feeding their fragile egos. They make women pay for half of stuff even though they make more because that feeds their ego that they can get her to do that. They sleep with as many women as possible because it feeds their egos.. They treat women like crap because it feeds their ego. They only want you to serve them sexually because they are selfish and it feeds their ego. They want you to be submissive because it serves their pathetic ego.

fds_throwaway_4_u · 2021-09-03T06:19:23+00:00

It’s terribly depressing.

Title	Does it ever just make you sad how much women will put up with?
Author	quasarbar
Upvotes	1249
Comments	82
Date	August 31, 2021 6:30 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/pfbszb/does_it_ever_just_make_you_sad_how_much_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/does-it-ever-just-make-you-sad-how-much-women-will.1065928 https://theredarchive.com/post/1065928

Comments