~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 32 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenOh yeah, for sure, I don’t mean to minimise abuse (sexual or otherwise) that some men experience. Just that I agree, women have been subject to so many harsh forms of abuse for so long, that it’s barely even recognised as abuse anymore. Men are seen and can act like humans, so they have the right response to abuse - it feels wrong because it is wrong. Whereas with women, we are subjected to so much that it’s just every day life. It’s not fair, but we’ve grown so much strength and resilience to e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 01:32 PM |
| 15 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenYep, I had guy friends and boyfriends say that to me too before porn was as bad as it is these days. I think though, objectification of women’s bodies has been around for so long, which I guess is the basis of it all. It’s so gross. It really used to make me so upset and feel hopeless about having a relationship when I was younger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 12:11 PM |
| 20 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenYes. This is so true. It took me a long time to realise this, and I still don’t think I fully comprehend that I’m doing it and how to stop. We really do give too many of them too much credit. I remember when I caught my ex in what I thought was a lie, and called him out. His face dropped and he looked SO sad. I felt terrible! I felt like the worst person on Earth, that he was trying to do the nice thing he said he did for me and I nitpicked. NOPE. Wrong Marzipan! My initial thoughts were right -… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 11:48 AM |
| 16 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenExactly. Really well said. I did a lot of research into neuroplasticity as part of a project I was going to do at uni on porn, and I was terrified back then by what I learnt. Now, I honestly don’t think there is a way back. I feel like a lot of people, mostly men but also women, have actually ruined their brains and they can’t change back the conditioning because a) they don’t want to (which is probably the biggest issue, they don’t see it as a problem!) and b) they have been re-wiring and reinf… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 11:43 AM |
| 26 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenThat’s where I started too - when I was with a guy with a PA. It’s absolutely soul destroying being with one. I have no idea how women go for years in those relationships. It was only 18 months for me and I was a mess after that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 11:36 AM |
| 64 | One of the best break downs of the minds of men who watch porn. Protect your peace and protect your wombs ladies. #AllmenExactly. Or women they aren’t sexually attracted to. Or if their rights and voice were taken away at the same time as them being constantly objectified - they would hate it. If men had to go through 1/4 of what women do in regards to the objectification of our bodies, rape, and abuse, they would be rocking in a corner weeping. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/22 11:31 AM |
| 44 | The Bar Is In Hell. The Audacity Is Sky High. I'm Scared For My Generation.Ugh yep. Literally unable to enjoy anything for ourselves with guys like that. I totally relate to that tensing feeling. And the thing is, you pay the price and do the sex in an effort to hopefully get a proper massage after without all the groping. Yet, they expect the massage afterwards somehow, because “yOu GoT a MaSsAgE bEfOrE. nOw iTs My TuRnNn” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/04/22 11:19 AM |
| 53 | Women Never Hit the Wall: A Field StudyExactly. And they use the excuse that girls look more mature when they’re 20 than boys. No, no they don’t. They still look like babies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 02:20 PM |
| 15 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.Exactly. It’s so gross. Just shows how these guys don’t view women even remotely as human. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 12:13 AM |
| 22 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.100% it’s all about control and their needs and desires. You’re nothing but an appliance to them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 12:12 AM |
| 7 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.So true! That addicts brain always looking for the next high | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/22 12:12 AM |
| 45 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.Exactly. Because if he was social or crazy or fun filled, there’s plenty of activities he could be doing which give you a rush and don’t include alcohol and drugs. But party boy can’t see past his beer and coke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 02:57 AM |
| 40 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.This is so true. My alcoholic party boy ex I mentioned above, couldn’t see anything in life besides drinking. I loved a good party and gig with friends, but even then I got to a point where I wanted more in my life and wanted some direction. He couldn’t understand what I meant and said “but what else is better in this world than drinking and partying.” At the time, I couldn’t think of anything. Since leaving him, I’ve found meaning in my life again. I look back and I can’t believe that’s all I t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 02:55 AM |
| 142 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.Omg. My dad actually used to half joke about my party boy ex being like this. He wanted me there when he wanted me to do something for him but wanted to “lock me in a cupboard” when he was with his friends to ensure I also didn’t go out and have fun without him. This guy literally admits he only wants her there when he wants her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 02:50 AM |
| 522 | Reminder: Men will keep you around for however long is convenient for them - even if they’re not that into you. Break up at the first sign of his disinterest because he will NOT do it for you. 3rd slide is a commenter.Yes! Came here to say this. I can pretty much guarantee he would not be happy if she was a party girl too. Really, he just wants to be single but reap the benefits of a relationship when he feels like it. He pretty much admitted that word for word. I dated a party guy like him. I was also a party girl at the time, and guess what? He hated it. He was SO jealous that I got on with people and they liked me. He wanted to be the life of the party. He would often ignore me at parties because of this. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/22 02:47 AM |
| 7 | HVM prefer monogamous relationshipsThis is so true. It’s like they become hyper sexual and sexualise every woman around them super obviously. It’s creepy. No one likes to be sexually harassed, but they have this weird god like complex where they think they’re allowed to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/04/22 10:48 AM |
| 23 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!Same. I love back tickles. But they would last two minutes (if that) before they make a sexual move, which was fine sometimes - but then after sex they wouldn’t continue the tickles, they would then expect tickles/ massages for them, until they fell asleep. So literally, I would get 2 mins of tickles, they would get sex and an orgasm (whether or not I was tired or sick or upset, didn’t matter to them), and then they would get a massage for a good half hour or longer until they were tired and fel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 06:02 AM |
| 13 | If you need to ask for it, just leave - You want PROACTIVE, not compliant!YES! Great post and good job with outlining the difference between things that could be a preference that you could ask for (I.e. the proposal example) and thinks that should be obvious. If you have to ask him to make more time for you, he doesn’t prioritise or care about you unfortunately, and he will resent that time with you. If you have to ask him to not objectify women, well, it shows his values are not aligned with yours and he will probably both hide it and resent you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 03:48 AM |
| 22 | Men saying that women go on dates for free food is them admitting that they have nothing else to offer.Exactly! The money I could save from dating for food (I can’t believe I’m even saying that sentence lol), isn’t worth the wasting of my time if he turns out to be an idiot, or my safety, if he turns out to be a psycho. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/04/22 03:27 AM |
| 33 | Men saying that women go on dates for free food is them admitting that they have nothing else to offer.Same, walks are “me” time to enjoy, or what I do with a friend who’s trying to get fit, in which case it’s a fast power walk. No other time would I go on a walk date with friends or family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:21 PM |
| 255 | Men saying that women go on dates for free food is them admitting that they have nothing else to offer.Hahaha this reminded me of a guy I came across on bumble a while back when I did OLD. His profile said something about “the last woman I went on a coffee date with got upset when I said something and then left without paying her half of the bill.” Like, what? What woman in her right mind would swipe right on a loser who basically tells on himself that he was rude on the date, then complains publicly that she didn’t pay her $4 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:17 PM |
| 310 | Men saying that women go on dates for free food is them admitting that they have nothing else to offer.Omg I find this just so lame. You’re exactly right, they are telling on themselves that they have nothing else to offer. But really? They honestly think women will sit through some inane conversation with him, stroking his own ego, for a meal? No matter how expensive that meal is. Most women can buy their own food 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/22 01:14 PM |
| 3 | How police officers cheat and vetting strategies to get the truth.True. I think they know what they’ve done is wrong which is why they won’t divulge to the wrong person. But if given the chance, in a situation where they think the person won’t think worse - they will gleefully tell how horrible they are. Some of them are privy to this tactic so will take a while to warm up to it in my experience. I follow a self aware narcissist in therapy, and he says that narcs will often tell you half truths to test your boundaries, but also will tell you the story of their… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/22 03:03 PM |
| 10 | He resents his wife because his ex texted himOh gawd, yea so true. Especially if it’s something that just comes out of the blue. Yep, every single guy I dated that “couldn’t stand” a particular woman, had been after her for years. It’s similar to when they say they were cheated on or abused - often they were the cheater/ abuser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/22 02:50 PM |
| 36 | I have no words for the way other subs invalidate womenYep, been there, done that too. Mine just disappeared off the face of the earth for a weekend, after a similar situation to this. Turns out he was grooming his next victim. I pulled the plug before he got the chance to discard me, which is one good thing. But yes, women’s intuition. We know. Also, how would they be in the reverse situation?! They would lose their minds! They can’t even handle us even mentioning another man’s name in the context of a story or something, without getting jealous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 04:01 PM |
| 14 | TW for sexual abuse survivors. Disgusting scrotes use prostitutes to act out their incestuous nightmare. Pick-me women who enable predator kinks are also a danger to all women and children. Mass grooming has only gotten more accessible with the internet . I first came across violent porn at age 6. 💔I know, it really is disgusting. I relate to your feelings. I try and cling to the hope that there are some good men out there, and I’m wiser now so I can detect this shit and shut it down fast. You can too, as long as we don’t let society gaslight us into thinking this deprived shit is normal. I also try and think that I don’t want to give these depraved monsters what they want, by leaving the world too soon. I want to thrive and have a good life, away from their depravity, and try and save oth… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 03:44 PM |
| 26 | TW for sexual abuse survivors. Disgusting scrotes use prostitutes to act out their incestuous nightmare. Pick-me women who enable predator kinks are also a danger to all women and children. Mass grooming has only gotten more accessible with the internet . I first came across violent porn at age 6. 💔This is so gross. It’s crazy how brazen they are too. I dated a guy who seemed obsessed with his 12 year old niece. He constantly talked about her. How beautiful she was etc. Then he went on holiday with his brother and the niece and he’s got his arm around her and her waist and just constantly all over her in every pic. Then one night he send me pictures of her in a tiny gymnastic costume (which is fine), but pulling her leg up and doing the spits towards him, showing off her skills she’s proud… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 03:34 PM |
| 17 | TW for sexual abuse survivors. Disgusting scrotes use prostitutes to act out their incestuous nightmare. Pick-me women who enable predator kinks are also a danger to all women and children. Mass grooming has only gotten more accessible with the internet . I first came across violent porn at age 6. 💔This doesn’t surprise me at all. He sounds disgusting. These men target these women with kids for sure. I had an ex who’s group of friends “befriended” a pickme woman with three teen girls. The guys were always creeping on the girls SM - blatant comments and likes on their bikini pics. The mother just competed harder. The guys all trashed talked the mother behind her back calling her old and a “has been” but to her face, made her think she was one of the boys. One of the guys had a girlfriend wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 03:26 PM |
| 19 | Straight from the horses mouth. NEVER share your past relationship trauma/problems with men because they will hold it against you. How poorly you were treated by men in the past will either make him resent you or he will use it as a bar for how much you are willing to put up with.Haha this is the perfect way to get back at a narc 😅 damn, I wish I was that cool headed when I left my ex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 02:58 PM |
| 47 | He resents his wife because his ex texted himIt’s amazing how obviously they tell on themselves. I feel like it’s a narcissistic trait in them, thinking they are so smart with their story and that we will never figure it out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/22 01:01 PM |
| 6 | TL;DR: her 'hack' is buying Tinder Gold to change your location and minimising small talk by, I assume, inviting men on a date.Agreed. Aussie men are terrible and English men are terrible. I stay away from both lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/22 02:22 PM |
| 9 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsYes! A past therapist said to me “he had a vested interest in seeing you as a bad person, to justify his own actions” when I couldn’t wrap my head around why I was badly abused by an ex (I was still very fresh out and blaming myself). The next guy who showed this sudden cockiness and spoke to me condescendingly, mocking everything I said like I was an idiot, and looking for issues with everything I said and did - I didn’t bother hanging around long enough to find out why. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:05 PM |
| 12 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsExactly. Same! And you can pretty much guarantee this isn’t even the half of it. Cheaters and liars don’t ever give the full truth, they will trickle truth and mix truth with lies to make their actions seem less serious, when backed into a corner, but usually never tell the full truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 04:02 PM |
| 10 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsYep. They never hear how badly they talk of her when she’s not around. These types really think they have the guys respect. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:59 PM |
| 9 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsYep. They’re always the first to put the new woman in one of the guys lives down too. If he talks about an issue, she’s the first to jump on it and validate him, push him to see the woman as the bad egg. Planting seeds constantly. She’s also the type who “gets on better with guys because women are too much drama” whilst she’s the one creating all the drama. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Beware of the man with a female friend/female friendsOoof. I feel like I just saw my future through a crystal ball, had I stayed with my ex who’s whole group of friends seemed to mirror this story. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:55 PM |
| 82 | Let’s not fund research of a HIGHLY underdiagnosed and treated disease, but how it effects their male partners because sex is too painful 🤦🏼♀️Omfg I’m so sick of this. I bet there’s no research about how women partners are impacted when their husband has some sort of health issue. Not even something like PIED, which is preventable by the man’s actions. Whereas endo is totally out of a woman’s control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 03:17 PM |
| 1 | Do not be jealous of the new girl… abusers do not change. Even if they somewhat “get better”, you deserve more than whatever half baked fuckboy shit this ex-douchebag has to offer you. Leave him in the past sisters, pray for the women who encounter him, and thrive. We are worth more than we know. 💞💯 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/22 05:48 AM |
| 6 | Do not be jealous of the new girl… abusers do not change. Even if they somewhat “get better”, you deserve more than whatever half baked fuckboy shit this ex-douchebag has to offer you. Leave him in the past sisters, pray for the women who encounter him, and thrive. We are worth more than we know. 💞I agree. Sounds like manufactured drama to me. He wants u/Elena1684 to feel insecure and jealous, and tbh is probably actually making the new supply jealous of her. But perhaps the new supply is more of a pickme (highly likely if she knew he was married) or still under his spell so isn’t acting out in a jealous way and is instead playing into it by doing more for him. Just my guess. She’s definitely not better, just more useful to him right now. I’m also guessing he didn’t really send the text t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 04:26 PM |
| 10 | Do not be jealous of the new girl… abusers do not change. Even if they somewhat “get better”, you deserve more than whatever half baked fuckboy shit this ex-douchebag has to offer you. Leave him in the past sisters, pray for the women who encounter him, and thrive. We are worth more than we know. 💞Exactly. Some will argue that people can change. And of course, they can. But there need to be awareness of what needs to change, strong reason to change, and then executing the change and maintaining the change. This isn’t as easy as it sounds! And like you say, you have to account for relapse, which any therapist worth their credentials will acknowledge and build into a behaviour change plan… and ultimately, most people will not change that significantly, unless they hit absolute rock bottom a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 04:15 PM |
| 2 | I was scrolling through IG and the amount of married/gf men following or commenting on naked women is absolutely insane!True. And there’s appreciating/ noticing someone’s attractiveness and then there’s being attractED to them and objectifying them. Porn has muddled all this up though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 04:06 PM |
| 1 | I was scrolling through IG and the amount of married/gf men following or commenting on naked women is absolutely insane!His disgusting. I’m so glad she had the guts to comment and also leave him. And she wasn’t some pickme that lol’d at his comment and suggested the pornstar should join them or something. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:57 PM |
| 7 | Ughhhh this excuse making ridiculousness. Sometimes it *is* that simple.Exactly. You said basically what I wrote (before r I read your comment), but far more articulately and succinctly than I did! This particular thing really grinds my gears personally, so I had a rant lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:34 PM |
| 9 | Ughhhh this excuse making ridiculousness. Sometimes it *is* that simple.I’m sorry, but I am so sick of these “life” and “relationship” coaches thinking they know more than an actual professional psychologist or therapist who have specifically trained in relationships. Most often, these “coaches” are people who’ve had some epiphany that they want to help people, so they do an online cert and start preaching what they’ve learnt with absolutely no analysis or critical thinking skills. I’m sure people like her mean well, but she’s actually simplified things far too much… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:28 PM |
| 10 | Straight from the horse's mouth 🗣️I don’t think it was you or the way you look. He’s probably got a girlfriend or wife (that’s been my experience with ghosters, especially if the date seems to go well). There’s also this new breed of men these days that are just narcissistic, and Just want the validation of a woman being into them - they may not even want sex, it’s just the admiration, and they do the bait and switch and expect her to start chasing them. Which unfortunately, women do fall for. The other thing is, they could be i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 03:07 PM |
| 5 | Straight from the horse's mouth 🗣️Oh, I see you also dated my ex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 02:57 PM |
| 4 | Straight from the horse's mouth 🗣️Your Gran sounds like an absolute badass, and I’m here for it! I wish I had a strong woman like that in my life when I was younger! Instead I got women repeatedly shaming me and trying to bash the feminist out of me. What a waste of years. Also, I feel like you literally just described a couple of my exes in this comment. Glad that I got out of them within 6 months for sure. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 02:12 PM |
| 23 | Straight from the horse's mouth 🗣️Yep. Unfortunately our society encourages men to be exactly that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 01:58 PM |
| 6 | Why are men often so short sighted they sabotage themselves?So true. Or they are listening to their pickme women friends who constantly play up to guys 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/03/22 12:48 AM |
| 97 | "Men are visual creatures"Exactly. The thing is, there’s looking at attractive people and naked bodies, and then there’s objectifying them… women are taught not to objectify others (unless it’s other women…) and men are taught to objectify women. They can’t separate seeing someone attractive and not being attractED to them. Also, studies have shown both men and women will view other women as body parts aka objects. So to me, that shows just how much social conditioning is involved | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/22 09:48 AM |
| 26 | But sex work is work, amirite?Sick of these double standards. These men egg young women on telling them How empowering it is to do porn, yet they are the ones who are judging them the most harshly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/22 09:17 AM |
| 4 | Like…I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad.I’m so sorry, this sounds so awful. You do not deserve this. Just to clarify my previous comment also - you are in no way, at all, responsible for this. You were not stupid. This is not your fault in any way. You were conned! Not only by your ex-narc (god they are so convincing!) but also by society that sells the dream to women to settle down with a guy without warning us of the red flags, and if there are any problems identified with the guy, that we are responsible for changing them or forgiv… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 01:59 PM |
| 5 | Like…I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad.Bingo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:40 PM |
| 15 | Like…I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad.Yes, this is the thing. They bang on about older women not being good enough, but even when they have someone young, they still don’t appreciate them or treat them well. Which goes to show, it’s got nothing to do with her age and how she looks and everything to do with their ego and/ or power and control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:38 PM |
| 13 | Like…I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad.Your last statement is so important. Thank you for sharing your experience, though I’m so sorry you had to deal with that POS. Not enough women and girls think about this side of things, and how often men get worse and more abusive when a woman is pregnant and has children. And at that point, they are so tied down it’s harder to escape. Too many women still glamourise being pregnant and having kids, and think your kind of situation won’t happen to them. But it happens more than we think. It make… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:27 PM |
| 14 | Like…I know it’s bad, but I didn’t know it was THIS bad.Apparently it’s because we only want one man, and never have lustful thoughts about other men besides our partners. You know, biology and all that 🙄 It’s so boring and I’m so sick of having these conversations with them, so I don’t bother anymore. It’s really a cope because they can’t handle the thought of “their” woman wanting another man. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/22 12:23 PM |
| 46 | Men really believe masturbating into a woman is sex, otherwise how can masturbating be more fulfilling than sex with a condom? YikesYep, they tell on themselves so often. Literally just see woman as sex sleeves. A means to an end. Fucking gross. Why would any woman be ok with that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/03/22 05:23 AM |
| 6 | 💯Yep. Good point. Damned if you do, and damned if you don’t with these guys. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 04:15 PM |
| 13 | Make it make senseOooh yep the logic there 🙄🥱 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:51 PM |
| 33 | Make it make senseIt’s natural. All women really want a monster dick, and lots of them because women naturally need to have lots of big d’s to increase their chance of procreation and producing the best offspring. But it’s just fantasy so don’t worry! At least I’m just using pictures of these monster dicks on 6’4 men with bulging muscles and not actually cheating. Babe, calm down. Don’t be crazy. I love you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:47 PM |
| 17 | Make it make senseReally?! Are we honestly still hearing that line. Man, I thought that was well and truly put to rest at least 15 years ago when I was growing up. Ffs. I’m so bored of having these same conversations and having to rebut the same old tired “evo psychobabble theories.” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:44 PM |
| 29 | Women should be financially independent.Love this comment. Well said. Edit: Great clip too. So true, and I hope more women are realising this. Unfortunately, I know too many women who think they are financially independent and will say they are, but really they fall over any man with money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:38 PM |
| 31 | Wealthy men and mistressesSo true. Some people get off on their lack of integrity and their ability to lie and manipulate, or even destroy someone’s life. Hard lesson to learn. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:11 PM |
| 6 | Wealthy men and mistressesYea, it’s tricky. This is definitely a thing, and I’ve had that experience not just from older women when I was younger, but even now from young and older women. But I can handle myself now, so it’s different. However, there’s definitely the pickme women who play up to this. I worked with a girl who was the youngest at 25 and she got off to the fact she was sleeping with a married man. She loved knowing the wife didn’t know and would be upset. Of course, this is a result of patriarchal condition… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/22 03:09 PM |
| 24 | epidemic of women buying homes or trying for a baby with no ringI see your point and agree, but I think lib fems may see it as “uncool” but rad fems are more about the loss of control that a woman may have in some ways when married to a man, due to the history of marriage. However, I think when a baby is involved or when living together (in a woman’s house) rad fems would probably have a different view, as overall, the liberation of women from mens control is important and if she’s had his baby, she really should opt for some sort of legal protection that ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 10:13 AM |
| 32 | epidemic of women buying homes or trying for a baby with no ringWish this wasn’t the case, but I agree, unfortunately. It’s the way women are socialised from birth and so many of them don’t ever outgrow that socialisation unless they really do the work on themselves… even then, they are always at risk of switching back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 10:08 AM |
| 31 | epidemic of women buying homes or trying for a baby with no ringThis is true, unfortunately. Even my friends who are around that age turn man-crazy when a man is involved and forget their friends… I think it’s more to do with how much the woman has been through, the resources she has, her self confidence, and how much work she has done on herself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/22 10:07 AM |
| 21 | FDS seems to be catching on, on Reddit : good job ladies!Right?! Such a good point. WHERE do people have the time to do this. I always have said, if people find themselves bored of their partner or wanting the thrill of someone new - just take a step back and firstly evaluate why your life is boring (chances are you’re not being stimulated with hobbies and interests in other areas of your life), and secondly, just take a moment to think about how special your partner is, how they are like no other. The way they smile, the look in their eyes, the jokes… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/22 12:38 AM |
| 158 | Do these shallow men expect us to feel bad for them? I certainly don’t ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Yea. I wonder if it’s because the men really just objectified them so much that they refused to see the woman’s personality. They just literally couldn’t see her as a human. That’s enough to make any woman act out, because chances are they were being emotionally neglected, if not abused. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 03:50 PM |
| 26 | The Awakening is Hard.Aw that’s so lovely you met the girl after you had forced yourself out of the house against your will. I agree, the universe works in mysterious ways and brings us what we need when we are brave. Good on you for realising your boundary regarding consistency and breaking up with the guy too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 01:22 PM |
| 6 | Mother in laws that prioritize their son in laws over their own daughterOh that’s awful. Sorry to hear she’s acted that way. It’s so much harder when it’s your own mother. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 01:08 PM |
| 28 | Have not cringed this hard in awhile; at the woman (kirra_kitty1215) who responded to the original TikTok made by dworkfem … it seems like a ‘cope’ to force your ideal of being okay with your boyfriend watching porn. You can’t force other women to be okay with exploitation just because you are.Yes, exactly. That’s what I thought too - oh it’s “the most” sexist industry? Really, have you been in this world at all? Some people are very tunnel visioned to their own experiences. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 12:56 PM |
| 147 | Have not cringed this hard in awhile; at the woman (kirra_kitty1215) who responded to the original TikTok made by dworkfem … it seems like a ‘cope’ to force your ideal of being okay with your boyfriend watching porn. You can’t force other women to be okay with exploitation just because you are.Exactly! I think it hits a nerve in them, that cognitive dissonance they feel because they know you have a valid point and they feel like it’s a personal attack because they are going along with it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 12:54 PM |
| 106 | Have not cringed this hard in awhile; at the woman (kirra_kitty1215) who responded to the original TikTok made by dworkfem … it seems like a ‘cope’ to force your ideal of being okay with your boyfriend watching porn. You can’t force other women to be okay with exploitation just because you are.I’m sorry. But what the fck is this pandering to men’s sexual “needs”. It is not a woman’s job to keep him satisfied. Sure, if she is unwell then he can masturbate … he👏doesn’t👏need👏porn👏 for👏that👏 This world is doing my head in. Sex of course can be fun and is about pleasure, but primarily it’s for reproduction and/ or bonding with your partner. If one party doesn’t feel up for it, then they shouldn’t feel bad. The other can masturbate if they really need to (without porn), or just like, get a … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 12:49 PM |
| 11 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.True, along with the rise in popularity of stepdad and step daughter porn … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 07:52 AM |
| 30 | Nightmare Fuel. My heart is broken for this mother and her daughter.Exactly. This has been mentioned on FDS before about how much single mothers are targeted for their children. This is also covered in the book ‘Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists, and Other Sex Offenders’. It’s terrifying how common this is. I actually heard a few cases of this kind of abuse when I worked in the court system too. Also dated a guy who’s entire group of friends were very “friendly” with a 40 year old woman who had teen daughters. The guys were so awful behind her back and blatantly fl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 07:43 AM |
| 8 | this is why I will never settle for less until I meet someone who loves me and respects our relationship like thisExactly! This is what I always said to men when I was younger and used to have the conversations about porn and the objectification of women, cheating, ogling women etc. that it’s because we think men are actual humans with their own thoughts and feelings that are capable of far more than the stereotype that society has portrayed them as. But for some reason, they refuse to hold themselves to a higher standard and would rather be seen as Neanderthals that are incapable of evolving past the most … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 05:16 AM |
| 27 | Can we talk about how hard it is not to internalize the message that it’s a woman’s responsibility to “keep her man interested”?I’m so sorry you went through that. It’s disgusting how common this is. I had an ex who would talk about his friends would say they are no longer attracted to their wives and that she’s “disgusting and fat and he can’t bear to look at her.” Yet, gets upset that she won’t “give him sex”. These types never grow up. They are never happy with any woman and will always devalued her at some point, even if she’s a “supermodel”. This group of guys also were the types to be “bros before hoes” and the wom… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 03:06 AM |
| 18 | Can we talk about how hard it is not to internalize the message that it’s a woman’s responsibility to “keep her man interested”?This is so true. On one hand I can see where they’re coming from - they think it’s going to secure a man and secure them consistent validation as a woman, if they try to be everything and try to be perfect. Except that it doesn’t. He will still lie and cheat and use and abuse, so in that case, they not only aren’t securing their constant validation, if anything they are actually losing it, because eventually she’s degraded and just seen as not good enough. And there’s no guarantee she’ll even se… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/22 02:55 AM |
| 4 | If you’re emotionally recovering from dumping a LVM, avoid listening to sad love songsLove Fiona Apple! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 01:38 PM |
| 25 | Following our intuition can save our lives; the story of Rodney Alcala - prolific serial killer. A demented man whom appeared and won on a 70s’ Dating show and the Bachelorette, Cheryl Bradshaw who avoided a terrible demise.There must be more than we think. Especially with women in SW. I was lurking the other day and saw a post in a certain sub where a few people mentioned their SW friends who disappeared. It’s really terrifying. People assume it’s less likely to happen these days, but I’m not so sure. Luckily our friend had left her boyfriend by that point, but still, it’s a sad loss of life of his family members. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 10:50 AM |
| 75 | Following our intuition can save our lives; the story of Rodney Alcala - prolific serial killer. A demented man whom appeared and won on a 70s’ Dating show and the Bachelorette, Cheryl Bradshaw who avoided a terrible demise.Terrifying! I’m into true crime but I had never heard of this man or any of these cases. Amazing that she had that gut instinct about him and actually followed through with it, that really takes a strong person to listen to themselves. This probably saved her life. Feel like this is a good time to mention “The Gift of Fear” again for anyone who hasn’t yet heard about it or read it. I think I might re read it myself actually. One of my friends actually had a really off feeling about one of her fr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 10:35 AM |
| 41 | how men really feel about women centering themAin’t that the truth. My ex used to blame me for not “cracking to whip” on his drunken antics and telling him to pull his head in. But then would also blame me for believing him when I recited his words back to him when I tried to set a boundary around drinking and boys benders. It was dizzying | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 01:24 AM |
| 53 | how men really feel about women centering themYep, you just described my ex. Of course, he could see his bros whenever he wanted. And he expected me to just drop everything, all my plans as soon as we became exclusive. But if I tried to have a quiet dinner with female friends? Ooof. As you said, radio silence, they would go out on a massive bender, not speak to me at all, accuse me of cheating or just act nonchalant like they didn’t even know I was missing, it was anxiety inducing so I dropped them. There was no point in feeling | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 01:05 AM |
| 50 | how men really feel about women centering themThis is very true. If you try to maintain your friendships by say, going out to a quiet dinner now and again with your gfs, these guys will often then get passive aggressive and give the silent treatment as a protest, go out all night with their bros on a bender or cheat etc. They make it so the woman is too scared to have any time with her friends because his retaliation is much worse and so she stops in an attempt to stop him from cheating/ silent treatment etc. BUT if she stops all her friend… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 12:58 AM |
| 60 | how men really feel about women centering themThis is so true. I used to get upset because my exes, particularly one, had a massive group of friends who were always going out together. But then I realised, all the guys talked behind their own partners and their friends partners backs, all the guys bitched about each other behind their backs, my ex was basically moving in on his best mates gf and they had some weird love triangle thing going on where he would get all the gossip on their relationship from her and side with her yo her face, ca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/03/22 12:55 AM |
| 1 | Love yourself enough to walk away.This is interesting to read. What are the common comorbid conditions you’ve come across, that will lend themselves to being abusive? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 10:40 AM |
| 3 | Vetting Vetting, imagine being with a man for 30 yrs plus and he doesn’t love you, only as a best friend…. This is sad.So true. I think these men act retrospectively. In that, they get attention from someone else, get carried away with it, then make up these reasons they are unhappy with their current situation to absolve themselves of the guilt. They have a vested interest in seeing their current partner as the bad one, to justify the way they are treating her and acting behind her back. I think that’s half the reason they don’t communicate until it’s “too late” because there was nothing wrong in the first plac… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 09:44 AM |
| 3 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Yes, so true. I found myself on a certain sub the other day and the women were talking to a new person entering SW about how hard it is to do full time. One said it took a year and lots of hustling and grinding to get $6k a month, but there are still slow months. But when you factor in the work you have to do, all the competitiveness, depravity if clients and pimps, hours you work etc… is it really worth it?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/03/22 09:30 AM |
| 4 | Left my fiancée today. Here is the letter I left him.Same experience. I used to be so upset because they were such a big group of seemingly tight-knit friends (guys and girls). And I didn’t fit in and was unfriended and gossiped about. But no, the guys were tight-knit “bros” who all talked behind the wives backs and cheated - they all covered for each other. The wives were all pickmes, none the wiser how bad their husbands and boyfriends were, and wouldn’t believe you if you told them anyway. The other women, were women that grew up with the boys … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 02:56 PM |
| 8 | A joke eh?Wtf is wrong with these guys?! I mean, this is honestly the first thing he sends to a potential date?! Talk about having a chip on your shoulder. Far out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 04:15 AM |
| 1 | The average LVM posing as HVThis is so interesting to read and honestly, it rings so true. Edit: I hope more women read things like this and realise they are not to blame. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 01:42 AM |
| 1 | The average LVM posing as HVThanks for validating the experiences that so many of us have. When women come across so many men that treat them like objects, the woman is always blamed by others - it’s her “picker” that’s wrong, it’s her “unresolved trauma”, she’s “just going for the good looking guys/ she’s superficial.” And when she’s in abusive relationship after abusive relationship, it’s because “she’s attracting these types” or she “must be doing something to cause it as she’s the common denominator.” But the fact is, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/03/22 01:42 AM |
| 5 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Exactly! Like, really - is it even worth it? Unless you can legitimately set yourself up for life and never work again, and pay for therapy for the rest of your years, is it really worth it? I wonder how they would go with applying for home loans in future also. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/03/22 03:46 AM |
| 7 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidYou’re doing great! Just being self reflective enough to recognise this is a huge step. Because let’s face it, most people are not self reflective at all in any meaningful way. Plus, from what I can see you have young kids? Im sure that takes up a lot of your time! I don’t have kids and it’s only been the past couple of years or so that I started to think about what my hobbies could be, and actually started to explore some in any meaningful way. Us women are conned from birth to just be thinking… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 02:08 PM |
| 8 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laid“He wouldn’t be sitting up at night making charts and spreadsheets of his exploits” 😂 this sentence made my day. It shows just how pathetic it is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:56 PM |
| 18 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidYes, exactly. This is what I was trying to say also. These guys are NEVER happy. Even when they find their dream girl. They get insecure and resentful, project their insecurity onto her and treat her like shit, including cheating if they can, and desperately find flaws in her to bring her down and justify his bad treatment of her. Basically narcissism - projecting their own shame and guilt and anger and resentment onto the target. Potentially they could treat the model type worse because they re… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:42 PM |
| 9 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laidI think he definitely has some good points in his book, like talking about the mindset of LVM. However, I do think he places too much emphasis on the man and his “dream girl” and how he will change for her. Same thing with if he likes your personality, that will keep him hooked - yes if he’s HVM. But only an LVM would string someone along like that. So, for sure, use the books to keep ahead of the game for these men. But I just don’t want women to blame themselves or think that they weren’t “goo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:36 PM |
| 27 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Exactly, someone else pointed that out too. It’s actually not a lot of money that they make, especially considering the hours at night they have to work and what they actually have to do. They’d be better of working in a sales role and getting commission, or as you say, an office job at a decent sized company. It’s really sad. This is also another reason why women past a certain age are less likely to do SW. Men can harp on that they’ve hit the wall all they want, but even a 25 yo would be less … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:25 PM |
| 30 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Yep. This is the thing, if you wouldn’t do it for free, it’s not empowering or even really consensual. Additionally, they are so brain washed they don’t realise how they aren’t reclaiming their sexuality at all. They are literally playing into the male idea of women’s sexuality which is purely performative for men. Ugh, I feel kind of bad for all the trauma they’re going to have to work through when they come out the other end. But at the same time, I’m so sick of them throwing other women under… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:19 PM |
| 20 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Yes, excellent points! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:16 PM |
| 53 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.This is a really great point. $500 is a lot when you’re living with your parents or you’re renting with 5 other people and only have a crappy car to run. But by the time you want to get a mortgage, pay for insurance, bills etc. then it’s really not a lot. I mean sure, when I was at uni, I had to work maybe 3 night shifts and half a weekend day at a chemist to take home $650. But I also kept my dignity, gained skills in the medical industry, sales, customer service, and therefore had a sold work … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:11 PM |
| 59 | SW is glorified on TikTok for impressionable teens and it’s disgusting. Her whole page is flexing the money she earns and how ‘fun’ her job is. Her mum even hypes her up. Also even strippers know that it’s not empowering - they’re so quick to clarify that they aren’t ‘escorts’.Yea, and the stories you hear from men who’ve attended bachelor parties with strippers… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 01:04 PM |
| 32 | What is the most low value reason a scrote has tried using to manipulate you?Sooo true. My dad always said that too, and the wives at home were none the wiser! On the rigs I think it’s a bit different as there’s barely any women, but if there is, of course they will go there! But even when they are home, they just go to the pub all day and cheat during the day whilst their girlfriend / wife is at work in her usual 9-5. I honestly couldn’t do it to myself again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 04:52 AM |
| 60 | What is the most low value reason a scrote has tried using to manipulate you?Yep, FIFO (oil & gas). Never going there again. They are so misogynistic and just party party party when they are home. It’s impossible to have a stable life with them imo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/03/22 02:11 AM |
| 178 | What is the most low value reason a scrote has tried using to manipulate you?Not sure if it’s the most low value, but it was certainly pathetic. “All my friends think you’re wasting my time and I’m wasting my time with you.” By a 37 year old man, because I wasn’t yet sleeping with him after a couple of months (because he had messed up a few times so I didn’t yet trust him, and also, he worked away so realistically We only went on 5 dates!) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 11:49 PM |
| 142 | What is the most low value reason a scrote has tried using to manipulate you?Oh my gosh, yes! I had a man use his sisters breast cancer as a way to pick women up (including me). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 11:46 PM |
| 105 | What is the most low value reason a scrote has tried using to manipulate you?Yes, I’ve experienced this also once they know my age. My ex also said his best friend would tell his gf that she was an “old” single mother at 34 and who else would ever want her… he literally used to say that to her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 11:45 PM |
| 187 | Rejected by 300 "hot girls", NVM cries about having to settle for "average" girls to get laid“Bang bang bang” that’s literally all I read in his post. Just ew. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:10 PM |
| 1 | You know how you feel about a man within the first 5 seconds of meeting himThis is such a good point. Unfortunately though, there is just that much danger out there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 04:04 AM |
| 7 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Yes, exactly. Also my ex did it more after I told him I didn’t like it, as a way to punish me more. Before that, he barely ever did it. The only reason. It came up was because he got jealous when we were out with his friends (because I got along with his friends), so he looked a woman up and down and licked his lips in front of me, purposely. I told him to never do that again… well, every time we went out afterwards he suddenly started looking at every woman - either “subtly” and then looking aw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:44 AM |
| 10 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Exactly. It “feels plain wrong” because it so is. There is a reason why women (most if they are honest) hate this behaviour! Yet they are gaslighted on a mass societal basis that they should accept it and it means nothing. BS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:38 AM |
| 10 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Exactly. That’s why I find it crazy when people say men won’t marry - yes, they will. Especially by mid-30s they will desperately Marry someone, anyone, to get their regular bang maid. They know full well in their mind that they won’t stop sleeping with other women after they are married… I had an ex who was engaged to his ex… they broke up because he had a hotel charge on his bank card which he explained to her as “him paying and covering for a mate who was cheating” but he apparently couldn’t … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:36 AM |
| 7 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Yep, same experience - you see them turn and look or will hang back slightly and look at you but pretend they are looking at something else in the same line of sight, and even drop their SO hand and do this meandering walk away as if they are just looking at the scenery - but the scenery is you/ another woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:32 AM |
| 11 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Oh yes, let’s talk about how they will praise their partner to heaven and Earth on SM… but little do they know what they are doing behind her back. I know a senior manager at an old workplace who constantly praises his amazing wife, but bragged about cheating to his colleagues. Another, same thing, bragged about his wife but sexually assaulted my friend. One of my exes - his friends would also post how amazing their wives were. One in particular was in sales and did this, yet behind her back wou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:28 AM |
| 10 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?You’re right, so many women have absolutely no idea what the man they are with is really like. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:23 AM |
| 6 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?This is the sweetest thing, and exactly how it should be. I used to have an ex who’s dad was just enamoured by his wife - she wasn’t conventionally attractive, never shaved her legs or arms, never wore makeup or died her hair or anything. And he used to constantly grab her and squeeze her butt and call her his sex kitten. It was honestly the most adorable thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 03:09 AM |
| 4 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Same. Even if you don’t know her, why would you want to do something which could destroy her. It’s basic empathy. Unfortunately though, there are a lot of women who will go there with a married man as she sees it as competition and that she’s somehow “better” than his partner. It’s sick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:19 AM |
| 9 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Ooof. Ain’t that the truth. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:11 AM |
| 5 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Ugh. Unfortunately this is just too true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:08 AM |
| 4 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?I do this also, when talking to a couple. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:07 AM |
| 14 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?So many of my friends have said they felt this way too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:06 AM |
| 33 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Yes. I also began to hate going out with exes who did this. I have had some that didn’t, so when they do, it’s even more obvious. I had one who would literally snap his head around if he sensed a woman’s silhouette in his peripheral vision. It drove me insane. Another one was constantly stealing glances at girls who would be about 14/15 and very underdeveloped, when we were at dinner. This was after a night where I met his friends and he literally stopped, looked a woman up and down and licked h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 02:04 AM |
| 29 | Anyone else want to get married less the more you see married men leering at you or other women in the company of their partners?Yes, I’ve come across this a lot even in the real world (not online). An ex coworker asked me out, he was very fickle though, so I had suspicions. Turns out, he was dating another ex-colleague! I found out as she contacted me when she heard rumours. Another couple of guys I met out, one turned out to be in a LTR, and the other has a whole wife and sick toddler at home. Nice. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/03/22 01:59 AM |
| 4 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?Ew. They both sounds awful! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/03/22 02:05 AM |
| 20 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?Omg. That’s so disgusting. Just goes to show how you can’t trust the friends either. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 07:27 AM |
| 23 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?I’m so sorry for the loss of your son. How heartbreaking. And I’m so sorry your ex did this to you also. What a horrific time in your life 😞 Thank you for sharing though - I think it’s important and also goes to show how when you have access to their phone, it doesn’t really mean anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 07:26 AM |
| 22 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?Wow I’m so sorry this happened! I’m glad you got out. And Susan got her karma too, I guess (I’m guessing she knew about you). How horrific. There’s nobody guiltier than an angry cheater. It’s amazing the way they deflect and blow up like that…thanks for sharing your story. It’s important because more women need to be aware that if they catch their partner cheating, the risk of abuse when confronting them is a real one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 07:12 AM |
| 23 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?So gross. And the amount of pickme women that request to go there, all to look cool and like “one of the boys”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 07:06 AM |
| 36 | What is the most messed up way you found out your partner was cheating on you?Exactly. I have no sympathy if they know he’s with someone. She’s pretty much just as bad as him, in this scenario. These types get off on the fact they are “stealing” another woman’s man. But the thing is, they are so insecure to think this is any kind of achievement - usually the same happens to them anyway, and clearly in this case the other woman was jealous. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/03/22 07:03 AM |
| 173 | Thoughts as I'm packing my things while he sleeps, drunk after going to bed at 7am (a normal night for him)I can relate to this. When they are attractive, have a good steady job, savings, a house, car, lots of friends who speak highly of them, they seem like they are great people all round. But unfortunately only the people closest to them (I.e partner and family) see the really negative side of them. I also had an ex that was pretty much identical to what you described, besides the video games - he would just drink all night with friends or at the pub. You really can’t build a life with someone like… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/03/22 04:02 PM |
| 51 | Men who try to trick you into coming over on the first date or early onWow he was per-sis-tant! Good job with the way you handled that. Also on friends setting people up with blinds dates - I know it can theoretically be a good way to meet someone. But it can also be so bad, as you found, and I have found! Even with trusted friends, because unfortunately the friends don’t often realise what the guy is really like. And if you try and explain any issues, they will explain them away as a misunderstanding because “he’s a nice guy!” | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/03/22 05:15 AM |
| 132 | 🎶Let's just dress up infidelity and terminal self-centeredness with trendy vocab!🎶Ugh I can’t even bring myself to read it. I’m seriously getting over all this poly rubbish. I think usually it’s just one partner is not wanting to really commit… so… be single then! I started following this woman on IG. She seems super confident and just lovely, and her and her partner seem super in love. But then, I saw a video of her learning to forgive his cheating, because before she was too insecure and jealous to forgive him but she realised she needed to, because she loved him so much. I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 02:35 PM |
| 5 | Vet like your life depends on it, because it doesOh interesting! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 01:21 PM |
| 4 | Vet like your life depends on it, because it doesOh wow I didn’t realise you could get a free PDF version! Totally agree. It’s an amazing book. I need to read it again. It’s one of those books you learn so much from every time you read it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 07:37 AM |
| 14 | Vet like your life depends on it, because it doesThis is great information! Thanks for sharing regarding your Self Defense classes - very interesting. What classes did you do? I was thinking of taking up Krav Maga soon. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/03/22 07:37 AM |
| 13 | A rant about beauty standards; men have no right to decide what women "should" look like.I totally get you. Same experience too. Being conventionally attractive to whatever societies idea is at the time is so much stress because if you have one hair out of place or period bloat people would feel they could point it out. People had a critical eye, looking at you and trying to find out your flaws all time time. Whereas less conventionally attractive siblings and friends didn’t have that same experience. They were allowed to be slightly more human (as much as a woman is able to be an a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 12:42 PM |
| 13 | A rant about beauty standards; men have no right to decide what women "should" look like.Wtf. This is so backwards. Can people not see how far we are regressing? It’s like being in the 50s again seeing all those diet adverts for women to get thin to make their husbands happy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 12:38 PM |
| 3 | 🚨PSA: More than 70% of communication is non verbal. Communicating with your partner isn't going to change anything. Your non-verbals are clear already!I learn something every day here. That’s such a good point, they don’t open up about things unless they want something. The last guy I dated “opened up” about his ADHD and type 1 diabetes. He had a house, great job, car, lots of money and all of that, but he was emotionally a man child. Who drank way too much. I never saw him opening up about his illnesses as anything, but now I think of it, I actually think it was to set me up for expecting bad behaviour and letting it slide… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/03/22 12:45 AM |
| 10 | 🚨PSA: More than 70% of communication is non verbal. Communicating with your partner isn't going to change anything. Your non-verbals are clear already!Yes, I agree with this. Another one I would add to this is ADHD. But, you’ll often find these men can easily remember to text friends back and help friends with tasks, concentrate on conversations and be respectful to their friends. For some reason their ADHD or autism only kicks in with their significant other. Edit: and further, as the above person mentioned. If they don’t show any remorse / concern, or try to understand and change, then they really just don’t give a fck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 01:54 PM |
| 2 | I’ve been saying this… It only takes men just a few months to know if you are the one! 👆Omg yes this is so true too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 01:39 AM |
| 11 | This is why you never stay with a man who expresses interest in anal. What he really wants is to hurt and humiliate you.Exactly! It’s infuriating. Thank you for your supportive words. I totally agree, after I found FDS, anyone who’s into it will be nexted. Aside from the porn issue, it’s just something I have no interest in every willingly doing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/03/22 01:38 AM |
| 32 | This is why you never stay with a man who expresses interest in anal. What he really wants is to hurt and humiliate you.I’m so sorry this has been your experience with men. Breaks my heart to hear how many women deal with this shit. As the below commenters have said, boundary pushing, is never about flattery. No matter how attracted they are to you, if they respect you, they will never push a boundary that they are aware is a boundary to you. If you’ve communicated a boundary with them, and they still push, they are just outright disrespecting you, seeing how far you will go, and will push even further. It does s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 02:19 PM |
| 12 | What we can learn from model Paulina Porizkova (the latest Aba & Preach video)Same with Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson. She was the glamour and so sweet, and he was just a dirty, skinny, drug addicted, drunk abusive cheat. And I think Ted Nugent and his wife. Another sweet glamorous and fit lady, and he was a bit of a bloated buffoon who also cheated on her. But they are still together from my understanding… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 09:06 AM |
| 226 | This is why you never stay with a man who expresses interest in anal. What he really wants is to hurt and humiliate you.Ugh this made me feel sick. Poor woman. Goes to show how they push boundaries as a power move. I also know a woman who had to have surgery because a scrote was too rough doing anal. I had an ex that took advantage this way when I had passed out from drugs and alcohol (before FDS). I also had another ex who tried to slip me date rape drug and when I wouldn’t take it (because I saw him slip it in) he said “what do you think I’m going to do, wait until you pass out then do something to you?” All ni… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 08:55 AM |
| 32 | NVM is caught watching porn. Fiancée calls the wedding off and he’s worried about not getting the deposit back. Scrotes and pickmes come to his defense 🤡I was literally thinking this last night when driving home from a gfs house. Her boyfriend that she gave a second chance to, just broke up with her. He emotionally and physically abused her, cheated on her, broke up with her and slept with other women whilst messaging her every night keeping her on the hook. And she took him back because he grovelled and bought her a promise ring. He just broke up with her because he “didn’t love her anymore.” Could’ve seen that coming a mile away. But I was thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 05:09 AM |
| 28 | NVM is caught watching porn. Fiancée calls the wedding off and he’s worried about not getting the deposit back. Scrotes and pickmes come to his defense 🤡Exactly! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 05:05 AM |
| 63 | NVM is caught watching porn. Fiancée calls the wedding off and he’s worried about not getting the deposit back. Scrotes and pickmes come to his defense 🤡Yep, been there. They are so narcissistic, they can’t possibly think for a minute that it could be a woman getting sick of their lying, abusive behaviours. Edit: and to add, definitely projecting their own shitty behaviours onto us. It’s like the cheater who assumes their partner is always cheating because they are. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 05:04 AM |
| 6 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?It is really sad to watch, but not a lot you can do often. Except be there for them when they realise. But even then, if it’s a once off and they learn - fine. But if they have a habit of doing this with every guy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/03/22 01:18 AM |
| 85 | Am I the only one who's starting to believe I'll never be loved?So true. That’s what I found after so many abusive relationships. Though I will admit, it can be so hard to find those good friendships with women. You really do need to treat it almost like dating and weed out the time wasters, pickmes obsessed with men, selfish ones, users. It’s so great if you can find other women who are on the same or a similar journey and understand that their friendships with other women are priceless. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 02:45 PM |
| 6 | I’ve been saying this… It only takes men just a few months to know if you are the one! 👆Bingo. Being “the one” with this type of guy is usually not the prize it appears to be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 08:10 AM |
| 9 | I’ve been saying this… It only takes men just a few months to know if you are the one! 👆Yes, exactly. A man that would waste a woman’s time for years, to go on and quickly marry the next one usually does so because he’s desperate and realises he needs to lock down a new supply quickly, as the only one left. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 08:01 AM |
| 75 | Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.Oh my gosh, yes. I missed that. Well spotted. Her self esteem is in the trash, she’s apologising for things that don’t even exist. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 07:51 AM |
| 66 | Abusers wait to reveal his true colours until you’re baby trapped. Vet ruthlessly by enforcing your boundaries during courtship.Wow what a selfish witch his mother was! She, of all people, should understand how exhausted you were. So sorry you went through that. What a piece of work he was also. I have been with two alcoholics in my time, both were incredibly selfish, self centred, narcissistic, and like overgrown toddlers (but dangerous). I agree, don’t waste your time with them. There’s a whole host of underlying issues underneath the addiction to alcohol, which is far too complex to deal with for anyone, and especiall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 07:49 AM |
| 21 | I love it when scrotes just perfectly illustrate why we need FDS. This is the type of guy you will weed out with the "unreasonable" rules he mentionsThe good thing is, it’s a good vetting strategy when you get the feeling a guy (whether younger or the same age), thinks your despo! My last ex was the same, though he was my age. Unfortunately he had multiple women in his circle who were desperate so he thought we would all be the same… shock of his life when I walked out when my boundaries were crossed, with no communication and negotiation. Started following me around to venues he knew I frequented, thinking he could either bully or sweet tal… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 03:35 AM |
| 13 | I love it when scrotes just perfectly illustrate why we need FDS. This is the type of guy you will weed out with the "unreasonable" rules he mentionsHah that would not surprise me at all! He is a couple of years younger, and has a decent job so he earns more than me. But I live in an affluent area so he may think I earn more than I do and that I’m desperate. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 02:10 AM |
| 32 | I love it when scrotes just perfectly illustrate why we need FDS. This is the type of guy you will weed out with the "unreasonable" rules he mentionsYea, no. I’ve had countless “chads” hit on me. Received a nude from one this morning funnily enough. I won’t go near them if they’ve got the personality of a tissue box (like the guy this morn). And before any lurkers ask why I received a pic. Your guess is as good as mine. I literally never talk to this guy, never dated him, never even met up with him. It’s a friends brother. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/02/22 12:11 AM |
| 10 | Meeting men at bars or pubsYep, I would agree with this. I would go to a bar after work on a Friday for a couple of drinks or go to gigs at bars with friends (though I tend to do both less when in a relationship, or, I include the guy and his friends). But. It’s a veeery different thing when you meet a guy who is always going to bars on his days off, gets hammered all the time, and doesn’t come home until all hours of the morning. For one thing, it’s not healthy on the body and mind, secondly, these types tend to never gr… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 11:09 AM |
| 8 | Men hiding women they are dating : Sex and the City (spoilers)Yep that’s what happened. And also in the movie he ended up ogling the breasts of the 20 year old nanny and spraying water on her white shirt to expose them more. It was so gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 10:58 AM |
| 70 | Can an LVM turn into a HVM later in life?So true. Or devalues her in preparation for the discard when he manages to lock down another supply. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 09:49 AM |
| 17 | I used to think there was something wrong with me...Yes. Or you’re “being paranoid/ controlling” when you have a suspicion and you start to explore it. Really cannot win. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/02/22 09:46 AM |
| 8 | Man wants to have a kid with his wife's younger sister....the traditional way. This poor woman is actually confused about it. WHAT.Exactly. You see it all the time “nObOdY StAyS aNd WoRkS iT oUt AnYmOrE.” - well yeah, women have a choice now to choose not to be abused and cheated on. They didn’t have a choice before so they had to “work it out” which was really just accepting abuse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 02:12 PM |
| 8 | when men have nothing else they have the audacityHaha who needs an army | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 01:54 PM |
| 40 | TW: nasty as hell. I don’t even have words..WHY are they like this. You just reminded me. I had an ex who pooped in his friends backyard because he couldn’t be bothered going in the house. Once we ran out of toilet paper and he used a sock and tried to flush it. Also tried to flush a lemon and then went on top of that when it didn’t flush. Gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/02/22 01:46 PM |
| 71 | Pick-Up Artist "PUA" Tactics: Which Have You Heard?Yep I had this too. With a guy a friend tried to hook me up with. I got a constant barrage of message essays from him (building intimacy), then he wanted to go for a drink somewhere, dinner somewhere else, and then ice cream after. I initially said yes, but then said to him “could we just go for a drink because I’m not usually into blind dates” (this was before fds) I wanted something more low key than a 5 hour date. Anyway, instead of bringing that up with me. He taddled to my “friend” who then… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 12:58 AM |
| 111 | Pick-Up Artist "PUA" Tactics: Which Have You Heard?Yes! I was at a music festival and had a guy that started chatting to me. At first he seemed ok, but next minute he touched my arm during conversation, then my shoulder, then my hip and then pretended he couldn’t hear me so touched my neck to bring me closer so he could “hear better” what a creep. I bolted. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/02/22 12:54 AM |
| 37 | I wonder if these are high expectationsExactly. I had an old friend who was the whole package - she was just conventionally really stunning looking (she used to be a fitness model) and had a conventionally attractive angelic face, super funny, caring and doted on men, very smart and classy, good career, popular. And she’s been cheated on a few times. The last guy cheated with someone muuuch less conventionally attractive. I don’t want to be mean but it’s just the truth, he would never have actually even dated this woman, and she wasn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/02/22 09:13 AM |
| 9 | My third grade French teacher hit on me at the gym todayGross. We had a priest at our school who was notorious for being a pervert. He would get us all to do mindfulness activities which required us all to lie on the floor with our legs up on chairs (wearing skirts). He would also get us to close our eyes to meditate and I remember one time he put a chocolate on my desk in front of my chest and very lightly brushed my breast on the way past… He made a comment to others that I was the only one who knew how to walk across a stage properly, at graduatio… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 08:46 AM |
| 49 | Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂I guess there’s the diamond in the rough in both of those places - but the majority of men who frequently go clubbing or are on OLD are LV and not who you want. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:40 AM |
| 12 | Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂Haha. I did the same in a weak moment last year. Downloaded hinge. It lasted about 18 hours before I bailed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:38 AM |
| 19 | Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂Oh my gosh, yes - drinking! I went out with a few guys that “like going to the pub with mates” because I was quite social and liked a drink too. Difference was, I did it on weekends and maybe once during the week if I had time and was there to actually socialise. These guys meant they literally go to the pub every day for lunch, and stay all day drinking through the night. Or if not the pub, then at friends houses. The only nights they had off drinking were when they were hung over from being ab… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:35 AM |
| 31 | Here’s to deleting our OLD profiles 🥂Omfg there were SO many of them around my area when I was on OLD. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:24 AM |
| 1 | 🤡This is so true, some are unfortunately a lost cause. Validation from men is far too important to them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:04 AM |
| 122 | Is Leaving Early the New Coming Home Late for ZVM Who Buy S*x Workers?Yup! They can have the sweetest, hottest, smartest girlfriend or wife at home, and still make fun of her behind her back, whilst all saying the most derogatory sleazy things about the young admin girl. It’s so gross. Neither have any idea about any of it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 04:03 AM |
| 131 | Is Leaving Early the New Coming Home Late for ZVM Who Buy S*x Workers?Yes, when you work in a male dominated field you really do hear and see some messed up things. And unfortunately it’s just SO many of them that are like that. Very hard to go back after that experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/02/22 01:00 AM |
| 8 | Another post promoting sex work as “real work” and an OP that is probably one of the top 1% of earners on OF… I feel for these people struggling to make it financially but sex work ain’t it.I felt this comment. I’m also so tired and so bored of having the same conversation about this shit. Hearing the same people say the same things about how these women deserve to choose their own choicy choice. And it’s not to blame or shame the women that “choose” this lifestyle, because they are a product of the same society. But honestly, what about all the other women who they are throwing under the bus? What happened to solidarity? Our society has become so narcissistic and individualistic t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 05:10 PM |
| 8 | Another post promoting sex work as “real work” and an OP that is probably one of the top 1% of earners on OF… I feel for these people struggling to make it financially but sex work ain’t it.Exactly. She gave the exact background that they all claim to not come from - abusive, in poverty, lack of education or money for education. If they could earn the money they claim to earn, in jobs which dont require them to sell their body and soul - most would likely not choose OF/ sex work. And some may say they would… but I would ask why? What is it about gaining mens approval and validation from showing your body, makes you feel happy? Where does that come from? It’s not a healthy way to be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:58 PM |
| 6 | 🤡“Um excuse me, I have a dick if you would like to use it” - hahaha. Gold. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:22 PM |
| 10 | 🤡Bingo! If women complain it’s just that they want respect and love from a man, and to not be abused. Men complain because the women don’t want to let them abuse her. We are supposed to be submissive bang maids, that let him do whatever he wants, and enjoy the abuse. It’s madness. It really should not be this hard for a human to recognise another human. But they just see us as objects. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:18 PM |
| 9 | 🤡Ugh. This is so true. In my experience, and also from what I’ve observed of so many of my women friends and acquaintances - most are way above their guys league. Yet, they pander to and pamper the guy no end… and the guys are out there cheating and lying, going on benders with the boys, to strip clubs and prostitutes and the women never say a word. The guys laugh behind their backs at how much she does for him and how she’s so stupid she doesn’t even know he’s cheating etc. and that he can get a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:14 PM |
| 2 | 🤡You speak so much truth. Unfortunately though, there are plenty of pickme women who will be banging on their door with a home cooked casserole, ready to do anal and forgiving all his cheating and lying ways. I don’t know why these women do it to themselves. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:05 PM |
| 13 | 🤡Agree. I see the manosphere talking about how women played the field too much, spent to much time with bad guys, or concentrated on their career too much in their 20s and all the good men got snapped up and got married. The problem with that theory is, so many married men are also LVM. Not saying all are, but basically it was always slim pickings in terms of good men anyway. So yes, women could’ve easily been married in their 20s, and would’ve likely ended up with an emotionally abusive, cheatin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 04:04 PM |
| 17 | Straight from the horse's mouthThey love keeping women around that are “obsessed” with them - helps to inflate their fragile egos. Even if they get a girlfriend, they will keep her secret from these orbiting women (or downplay the relationship but triangulate) and use the orbiting women as an ego boost when they are mad at the girlfriend for something. So narcissistic. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:13 PM |
| 8 | Straight from the horse's mouthHe might do for a short time, until he gets what he wants. But even then, it won’t last. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:07 PM |
| 12 | Straight from the horse's mouthJust goes to show they don’t even change or put in an effort for their “dream girl”. This is why women need to stop beating themselves up if a guy treated them badly, and thinking that he would change for this elusive “dream girl.” He won’t. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:06 PM |
| 98 | Stick to your boundariesGood on you for sticking to your boundaries and for realising the issue lies with him and his intentions, and not you. 6 dates is not a lot of time. I’m sick of these men expecting sex on the third or even first date. You barely know a person by then! Also, kudos for not begging and pleading for an answer from him and potentially falling victim to his BS and manipulation which may have caused other women to sleep with him in an effort to keep him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:02 PM |
| 17 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄Yup, exactly! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 01:00 PM |
| 41 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄He’s an entrepreneur, and this is his new girlfriend. He had a wife, but he’s traded her in for a newer model it seems. Most on here are disappointed because he comes across as relatable and uplifting on social media. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 12:20 PM |
| 18 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄I know. So disappointed too. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 12:19 PM |
| 71 | Midlife crisis is reconciling your youth and impending death…another one bites the dust 🙄I saw this on IG the other day. I was so confused because I thought he was married with kids… clearly he traded his old wife in, like the rest of them 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 12:17 PM |
| 24 | Women leaving the dating appsOoof I felt this in my bones. So true. And I think there’s professionals who deal with cluster b’s on YouTube who’ve said OLD is a narcissists/ psychopaths playground. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/02/22 08:25 AM |
| 3 | What is this the FDS take on “free the nipple” movement?Exactly. It’s so embarrassing that this is how women are seen to be fighting for respect these days. By walking down the street with her breasts showing. Like you say, you really think the men are thinking about their misogynistic views of women? Nah. They are out there ogling breasts and laughing about how stupid women are to think this is a protest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 10:29 AM |
| 75 | Beware of the solo male traveller to certain regions of the world.It’s not just solo travellers. Where I’m from, men go in their big groups for “bachelors” weekends. Mainly to Indonesia and Thailand, but Vietnam is also common now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/02/22 10:00 AM |
| 9 | Why do dating apps bring out the worst in men? | the guardian articleVery true. As they say, dating apps and social media are a narcissists playground. Not saying all people who use OLD or SM are narcissists, but that there are many predators online and those apps make it easier for them to find prey. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 02:33 PM |
| 71 | Reminder: Please don’t be like this 37 year old woman on a blind date.So true. They will try it on with women in their late 30s, and will still date those women if the women are desperate enough to put up with their shit. Usually if she hasn’t worked through her stuff and is in a more vulnerable situation. But most women in their late 30s aren’t actually as desperate as society makes them out to be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 02:14 PM |
| 24 | Signs You've Been F*ckzonedExactly. This is a great post and all points of spotting being “f*ckzoned” are spot on. The only thing I would add is that, as you said, the onus is on him. Men that objectify women this way don’t ever really have any real respect for other women. They may have a “harem” who are female friends that they see as the boys or that stroke their ego through female attention, but it’s not respect. They will never really love or respect other women. They just objectify all women or completely disregard … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/02/22 02:01 PM |
| 4 | Signs of Cheating: How to spot them?Yep! Another good point. I used to think my ex was asking me what day I wanted to do dinner because he was being proactive. Nope. He was figuring out his own plan, and when he could see other women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/22 12:42 AM |
| 15 | This is why casual sex is a big no-no. Thoughts?This is so scary, but doesn’t surprise me. I’ve heard of men turning abusive towards women who are pregnant, but not of men killing the woman. Terrifying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/02/22 12:40 AM |
| 13 | Signs of Cheating: How to spot them?Good list. I will also add that even if he does let you have his phone, it’s never a sure sign. Especially if he almost offers it up TOO happily. Like my last guy did. These guys just mute convos, use different apps, and delete conversations. I would also say if his social media habits change. Such as suddenly his friends list goes private - that’s another sign. Ask me how I know 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 01:19 PM |
| 13 | Signs of Cheating: How to spot them?This is such a good point. I’ve always been spot on when I had the inkling also. I just knew somehow. Even with the best boyfriend I had, who was a good guy through and through, I knew when he had met someone else he was interested in. You just sense it in your bones. Edit: I also had a guy that I just could never get comfortable with. He was very slick with his lying and very charming, but I just knew there was something not right and I couldn’t put my finger on it all the time, but yep, I was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 01:14 PM |
| 9 | Signs of Cheating: How to spot them?Agreed. If they get angry and defensive and say they are just busy and you should “understand” and “why are you always asking what I’m doing” - that’s a sign. Because it’s normal to ask your partner what they’ve been up to etc. Obviously not excessively. But I found in my experience THEY were the ones asking excessively and because they were suss. But if I asked occasionally as a way of showing interest in their lives, they would go crazy. Red. Flag. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 01:10 PM |
| 13 | Signs of Cheating: How to spot them?Yes. Very true. I had an ex that would brag about how much he would lie and manipulate other people. I just thought I was special and wouldn’t also cop those behaviours 🤡 we can easily let our own ego get in the way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 01:07 PM |
| 60 | This is why casual sex is a big no-no. Thoughts?The level of depravity never ceases to amazing me, unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 12:38 PM |
| 150 | This is why casual sex is a big no-no. Thoughts?Exactly. He clearly showed he felt no obligation toward her, so she also has none toward him. This can backfire much worse than it did. Women have a habit of feeling responsible for others, and even feel guilty for casually dating more than one guy for example. Whereas many men will not feel that sense of obligation toward her, and will easily continue to see and sleep with multiple women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 12:21 PM |
| 12 | When they show themselves in the second message…. Boy bye.They do it on every app and it’s literally all the same guys on every app. They cover all bases in. Y experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/02/22 05:18 AM |
| 33 | The occupation of men on OLDMy town is full on them on OLD. They’re either at the bar in their time off or swiping on tinder while they’re working away. Trust me, it’s not a bad thing that you’re not coming across them haha. I think there tends to be this idea that they are “Salt of the Earth” type people sometimes, because they work blue collar jobs, but in my area they are paid A LOT of money and they are horribly misogynistic and quite smooth talkers. Edit: Not to say all blue collar types are like that. Just the ones i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 12:47 PM |
| 21 | The occupation of men on OLDThere’s a LOT of blue collar guys in my city - that’s not a good thing. Most of them work FIFO in mining and oil & gas, and are massive players and cheaters and party boys. “Cashed up bogans”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 12:44 PM |
| 55 | What is up with men saying they want someone who is passionate about something?Yes. I have no idea why they say this either. Maybe it’s an attempt to sound My ex was the same. One day he was super surprised to find out I wrote short stories, ran a side business in coaching, could paint, and was interested in gemmology - he was like “you should tell people and sell yourself.” Truth is, I HAD told him all these things but each time he made condescending remarks and brushed them off, laughed, and talked about himself or made a joke of my knowledge. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 08:45 AM |
| 41 | It’s that time of the month, ladies! I mean when men on PPD try to justify creeping on 18 year olds, of course.I know! How fcking offensive to even compare the two. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/02/22 02:04 AM |
| 2 | Better than Botox: Something I realized yesterday about HVM vs scrote influence on your looks.Yes. So true! I developed thinner skin and more wrinkles when I was with the last two exes. Now, my skin is so much clearer and dewy and my wrinkles have faded. My hair is also thicker and shiner, as I lost a lot of it due to stress and bad dietary habits (also due to stress, I basically wasn’t eating, just drinking. Anything I did eat my body couldn’t hold onto because I was so anxious all the time my stomach was constantly in knots). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 05:05 PM |
| 6 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Haha, welcome anytime! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 09:59 AM |
| 5 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Oh cool, I’m starting belly dancing next week! I’ve always love middle eastern belly dancing so I thought why not just start now! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 09:58 AM |
| 5 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Good on you for pushing yourself out of your comfort zone! It’s so hard to do at first, but as you’ve loving it now. I always feel intimidated going back to the gym after I’ve had time off. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 09:57 AM |
| 6 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?DJ-ing sounds very cool! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 09:55 AM |
| 9 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Well done on your commitment to sobriety! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 06:14 AM |
| 12 | Let’s talk hobbies! What are your current hobbies? What’s a hobby you’re interested in starting?Scuba diving is a recent one for me. I’m starting belly dancing next week too, and I want to get back into Latin American dancing (I used to compete when I was younger). Also want to pick up weight lifting again (fell off the wagon at Christmas) and I wouldn’t mind starting yoga or Pilates. I go to music gigs a lot too, as I just love live music and the atmosphere. Lots of interesting hobbies on here that other people have which is giving me some more ideas! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/02/22 06:13 AM |
| 5 | He showed up at my door last nightGood mom advice here. I also got a hotel style lock and a camera installed when I broke up with my ex. He used to “joke” about morbid things to do with me and stalking me or turning up to my house, so I wouldn’t take risks. He didn’t turn up to my apartment but he did start turning up to venues and events he knew I frequented just to intimidate and harass me. You never know with these types of guys. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:58 PM |
| 5 | He showed up at my door last nightGood point. I also had an ex who I broke up with, and he wanted to return my belt… which was not my belt and was tiny. It belonged to a mail order girlfriend from a 3rd world country who was apparently 18 but wow she seemed like she was a lot younger. I always feel like he did that as a manipulative tactic too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:54 PM |
| 5 | He showed up at my door last nightUnfortunately they aren’t required everywhere. I’ve lived in three apartment complexes and they’ve never had them. Two of the places didnt have a peephole or a security door, or security windows. I always felt so unsafe without them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:52 PM |
| 16 | He showed up at my door last nightSame! You just never know. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:38 PM |
| 17 | He showed up at my door last nightThis. They are very sneaky. My ex was also the same. He kept turning up to venues and events he knew that I went to, after I stopped replying to him, in an effort to catch me out with someone else. These types are always possessive and think they own you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:37 PM |
| 1 | Heartbreaking. Wife wants to spend time with lv hubby v-day weekend, gets ignored. He admits he’s trash but doesn’t want her with another manAh, I see - thanks for the insight! I’m sure guys like this find ways and means around these things lol. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 02:16 PM |
| 6 | Heartbreaking. Wife wants to spend time with lv hubby v-day weekend, gets ignored. He admits he’s trash but doesn’t want her with another manNarcissism at its finest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 12:34 PM |
| 2 | Heartbreaking. Wife wants to spend time with lv hubby v-day weekend, gets ignored. He admits he’s trash but doesn’t want her with another manNo idea how the location thing works. But is it possible to go to a certain location, turn off location settings (or whatever it is), and then it would appear you are still at the original location? Just a thought because I know with Tinder and Bumble it wont update your location settings until you open the app. Also, the pictures when he’s at golf or his friends talking about it - that means nothing. And when it’s super OTT it could easily be them covering for him. It happens more than we think… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 11:50 AM |
| 4 | Heartbreaking. Wife wants to spend time with lv hubby v-day weekend, gets ignored. He admits he’s trash but doesn’t want her with another manYes. I thought this too. One of my ex pickmeisha friends used to send saved pics to her partner - that’s how I figured out what my ex was actually doing when he sent pics about where he was also. It was super suss when he would send pics. Just got a weird vibe. The vibe would get weirder when his mates would talk up too much what they got up to that day or night… until one of them slipped one night and everything unravelled. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/02/22 11:42 AM |
| 223 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!Thank God someone told her that it was dangerous. Did anyone tell her to see a Dr? Usually DV and sexual assault counsellors would urge women to seek a medical check up after choking, especially if they bruise or lose consciousness. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 12:44 PM |
| 156 | Porn sick scrote almost killed his girlfriend performing kink. THIS IS DANGEROUS!Omg this terrifies me. YES he could have caused you all sorts of injuries, including brain damage from this! Someone doesn’t even need to pass out or bruise to experience damage. I cannot deal with this anymore. I am so sick of how fcking backwards our society has become in regards to sexualising violence against women and just plain old misogyny. We are living in such dangerous times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 12:42 PM |
| 56 | BuT DiD YoU CoMmUniCaTE??This. Or if you’re calm, you obviously didn’t really mean it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 08:42 AM |
| 44 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenienceDisgusting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 06:07 AM |
| 178 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenience100% The dream girl is devalued as soon as she also becomes a flawed human in his eyes. Before long he will be treating her like garbage, but sweet talking her to make her stay, while he flirts and cheats with other women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 04:46 AM |
| 122 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenienceYes! Hailey and Beibers relationship looks scary. He treated her so badly! And he’s emotionally abusive on so many levels from what I’ve seen. It’s just awful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 04:45 AM |
| 261 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenienceYes. And to be fair, no woman will ever be the “right” woman to these types of guys. They won’t change for the right woman, because she will also become human and therefore flawed in his eyes, once he has a chance with her. My ex told me his best friend was only with his gf at the time because she was the most likely to settle down and have his babies, especially as he would tell her she’s “35 and a single mother - who else would want her, and she’s not going to leave”. He constantly gaslit her … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 04:42 AM |
| 102 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenienceLiterally. Unfortunately I can’t think of a woman who’s genuinely happy in her marriage. This week I caught up with a gf who I thought was happy but I’m not sure she is. She also told me of her three closest friends marriages… One broke down, the guy tried to sue the woman for her own house! The second, was jailed for raping his teen daughter (she told people, no one believed her, she withdrew her statement - turned out, he confessed to a friend that he did it but said it was consensual. Another… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 04:38 AM |
| 112 | A lot of men don’t marry for love. They marry for timing. Don’t be the woman he settles with out of convenienceYes, this is so true too! They can get more from a woman who has a crush on them even though they don’t feel the same way about her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 04:34 AM |
| 152 | Imagine being so mentally weak that your entire mood depends on over-identifying with men who throw a ball around.Wow. These kinds of men are dangerous. No accountability at all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/02/22 02:29 AM |
| 9 | Learning the full story of how my aunt was burnt from head to toe.This is not weird at all. Very smart imo. I looked into doing a course on servicing cars recently, because this would also help to prevent being taken advantage of and ripped off by mechanics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 01:19 PM |
| 11 | Learning the full story of how my aunt was burnt from head to toe.So true. Too many women have been killed or seriously injured in car and motorcycle accidents from men being over-confident and putting everyone’s lives at risk. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 01:17 PM |
| 12 | Learning the full story of how my aunt was burnt from head to toe.Same. My ex was like this. Used it constantly as an excuse for interrupting me, ignoring what I said, not texting me back in reasonable timeframes (I.e. falling off the radar for 5 hours… and eventually entire nights), forgetting our plans, forgetting my birthday, being too busy to see me etc. Funny though, when he was away for work and was worrying about what I was up to at home/ who I was seeing, he never forgot to message. And would get angry if I went hadn’t texted back within an hour, even … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/02/22 01:13 PM |
| 17 | I don’t understand why men are so cruel. Rant.Yea, it’s crazy the double standard they have. The last guy I dated literally said “women should always make an effort to look good. Men don’t need to.” And was talking about how his friends wives don’t make an effort and they just wear tracksuits and their hair up in messy buns at home - I mean, how fcking dare they relax in their own home as busy mothers and wives, and not do themselves up for when my Scrote of an ex graces them with his presence. This guy works away and I swear to god he expe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 08:36 AM |
| 83 | Reminder to watch out for how he treats you around his friendsYes. Last guy I dated totally ignored me in front of his friends and if I did manage to interject he would talk SO condescendingly to me. Would refuse to let me have a choice of song in the group (I liked the same music as the rest of them), would answer me rudely, or scoff at what I said. Obviously I left him. He then started following me to venues and events he knew I frequented with all his mates, and try the same BS. This guy also threw away his previous 10 year relationship because he would… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/02/22 05:51 AM |
| 5 | Signs that your female "friend" might intend to traffic youThis is crazy! What a wild ride. Sorry you had to deal with all his BS. And yes, the SM thing. That’s why I don’t really go with the whole social media thing being positive - he can easily be posting pics of you and have other women blocked from seeing them, and vice versa. FB is the worst for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 10:50 AM |
| 5 | Signs that your female "friend" might intend to traffic youYes! This is exactly what my therapist said she felt happened a lot with me. They think you’re vulnerable, then when you’re not, they are outraged. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 10:46 AM |
| 45 | 22F dating a 34M finds out he co-owns a house in the suburbs with a woman sharing his last name - If he’s making excuses for you not to see HIS house even though he’s seen yours, there’s a reason.It’s so easy to gaslight yourself also that someone’s not married - because he goes out with friends regularly, or answers texts, or goes to hobbies, doesn’t wear a ring, doesn’t mention a wife, doesn’t “look/ sound” married. It’s so easy. We’ve all been there. But I’m so glad she was wise enough and strong enough to end it when she found out that he is most likely married or at least has been and will be going through no doubt a tricky divorce. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 08:36 AM |
| 56 | 22F dating a 34M finds out he co-owns a house in the suburbs with a woman sharing his last name - If he’s making excuses for you not to see HIS house even though he’s seen yours, there’s a reason.Ew gross. Good on her. Don’t know her but I’m proud of her. The fact he refers to her as the “hot young” girlfriend shows what kind of guy he is and that she’s just an object to him. Just a trophy. Not to mention he’s controlling! I like her style getting rid of him, and every single point she makes is valid. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 08:30 AM |
| 56 | The Queen behind TinderTranslators gets it. Absolute gold.Ew. Sorry you went through that. They also do it in regards to cheating. If you tell them you’ve been cheated on before they will expect you to take it from them, and then forgive them like you forgave your ex, or else you must have loved your ex more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 04:44 AM |
| 11 | In Australia one step back. This timeline is need fudged…Ugh. I just can’t deal today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/02/22 01:18 AM |
| 6 | al i can say is… jfcOmfg. The audacity. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/02/22 10:42 AM |
| 36 | This is why you don't get an OnlyFans. Men that you know will happily buy the nudes to wank over you, and then go on right ahead to use that fact to stop you from getting a job. Male 'feminists' are evil, do NOT believe them when they say they are supportive of 'sex workers'.Exactly. It’s the way he writes so “innocently” in the post too. I mean, I know we can all see through it, but for some reason a lot of other people can’t. I had an ex like this. You’re right, they are dangerous when rejected. Narcissistic psychopaths most likely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 02:06 PM |
| 15 | A man will date you for weeks, have you be exclusive with him JUST to have sex and leave as soon as he gets it. This scares the hell out of me about dating, I wonder how one can vet this kind of behavior.Oh this is sooo true. Before FDS I was the queen of feeling bad about dating (not sleeping with) multiple guys. When they had me on a roster the whole time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 01:01 PM |
| 95 | A man will date you for weeks, have you be exclusive with him JUST to have sex and leave as soon as he gets it. This scares the hell out of me about dating, I wonder how one can vet this kind of behavior.Agreed. The last narc I dated also loved the same music as me… until he got comfortable and I realised he actually really didn’t. Not that someone liking the same music as me would sway me to like them, but it represents how they mirror women’s likes, dislikes, goals in life, personality traits and characteristics. It’s no lie when they say when you fall for a narc you’re really falling for yourself. I also only recognised it when I saw how differently he acted in front of his friends to when he… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 12:59 PM |
| 3 | this woman is a “love coach” she’s literally paid to say shit like this and scrotes are all over this shit 🤣Exactly. I’ve had the same experience my whole life. As I’m naturally reserved and more quiet, also happy to be accommodating - it got me nothing but walked all over and abused and neglected. And very often used at the scapegoat. As soon as I started to enforce boundaries, and dropped the constantly happy and agreeable facade, people labelled me as a bitch and difficult. But as they say, people who are turned off by your boundaries, and the ones who benefitted from you having none. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/02/22 12:07 AM |
| 6 | Age Gaps in the MediaOh no, really?! Ugh. Yep I loved him too before | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 03:45 PM |
| 40 | Age Gaps in the MediaSo true. This is a slight tangent, but it’s the double standards again. Men are seen as amazing if they have a couple of LTR. Like that means he can “commit” but really he was cheating on the side and all kinds of abusive. When women, may have a string of bad relationships, get shunned for it and labelled crazy - but really, it’s that she’s been primed with abuse her whole life and keeps dating abusers because there are just that many out there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 03:40 PM |
| 7 | Canadian Teen Killed by British Man She Flew to Meet After Falling for Him on Dating AppExactly! That’s what my father always said. Even in oil & gas it’s the same - they may not cheat on the rigs, as there’s less women, but they will just party and cheat on their time off at home. No thanks. Been there, done that, never again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 04:27 AM |
| 38 | Husband “face fucks” pregnant wife for 45 minutes, gets verbally abusive when she wants an orgasm too; OP thinks it’s her fault for “not communicating”Same. I’m so glad I’ve never really experienced being clucky. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/02/22 02:13 AM |
| 7 | Canadian Teen Killed by British Man She Flew to Meet After Falling for Him on Dating AppUgh. Glad you mentioned Aussie men. Exactly, bogan trash. Especially due to mining & resources industry unfortunately there are a lot of cashed up bogans with the same trash morals. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 11:25 PM |
| 58 | Scrote obviously has a porn addiction and is neglecting his kids and gaslighting his wife. I can't even with these men anymore.Yup. I noticed the age gap too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 02:22 PM |
| 37 | Scrote obviously has a porn addiction and is neglecting his kids and gaslighting his wife. I can't even with these men anymore.This was one of my first thoughts too… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/02/22 02:21 PM |
| 61 | Spotted this ad under "housing" on craigslist 😬Wow “time to smile again” but it’s all about what services they can get from a woman. Really that entitled. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 01:37 AM |
| 5 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!Yep! I left an ex who used these exact words. When I wouldn’t let his lying about girls (yep, girls of 18 and less) on social media go. You allow any disrespect, they will up the ante (which he had been doing for weeks until that point, when I just walked out). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/02/22 12:41 AM |
| 120 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!I agree, I had a similar situation. I think it’s all for triangulation also. Or, they are so caught up in the power dynamics of it all - the one that got away set a boundary and left, so he is caught up and obsessed with her because he lost the power over her. However, if he got the ex back somehow he would treat her like dirt again. Seems like the whole narc cycle to me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 11:19 PM |
| 120 | How heartbreaking, talk about long con on the husband’s part!So depraved. I’m not surprised, but it’s just so sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 02:03 PM |
| 1 | Men Double TextingYep, 100% he did! I couldn’t win no matter what I did. These guys expect you to be at their beck and call, when they want you to be, but disappear when they don’t want you around. Omg me too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/02/22 06:49 AM |
| 3 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.It’s terrifying, isn’t it!? I haven’t read the book for a while, but I do remember getting chills when I was reading/ listening to it. You can just never be too careful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 11:38 PM |
| 4 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you went through that (and everything else, I remember some of your comments). But even this instance would be so traumatising - I’m glad you didn’t do it, but it would be so easy for a 14 year old to do it because they first of all get flattered by attention, secondly, want to please everyone and not make them mad. Ugh this breaks my heart. You’re right, they don’t hide it because they know they can bedazzle the mother and jst play it off as a harmless joke. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 11:37 PM |
| 7 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.I’m so sorry you experienced all of that abuse growing up. You’re amazing. To have gone through that and come out the other end, determined to make a better life for your kids - you’ve broken the cycle. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:14 PM |
| 18 | 4 months and she realized she was a placeholder when he had to show basic effort. That's why vetting is important.💯! They are the worst. And you literally don’t know if you’re coming or going half the time, until you’ve totally lost yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:09 PM |
| 14 | 4 months and she realized she was a placeholder when he had to show basic effort. That's why vetting is important.Yup. My ex did that. I feel like I could’ve written this woman’s post. Blanked me for weeks suddenly and just said he was “sleeping so much”. Then left me on read for half the weekend - wouldn’t return my call or text. This was days leading up the my birthday. So I ended it then and there (when I could finally get hold of him). He messaged me happy birthday on a new number, after I ditched him - 2 weeks late. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:08 PM |
| 7 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.Totally agree with you. I know people say these terms are overused, but I really don’t think so. There are a lot of them out there. There just are. There’s a great crime presenter - Emma Kenney, on YouTube who really delves into the lives of the perpetrators better than anyone I’ve come across, as she is a Psychologist who specialised in criminal justice (or a similar area). She made a video recently about a psychopathic killer and talked about how psychopaths etc are more common than we think. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:58 PM |
| 15 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.“How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before Getting Involved” - by Sandra L Brown, covers a case study or two like this. Same with “Predators: Pedophiles, Rapists and Other Sex Offenders” - by Anna C Salter. Both books are good reads for any woman navigating the dating world, especially if she has a history of trauma and abuse, but even if not - because women who haven’t can also be at risk. Psychopathic men know how to play their cards right to charm women. Especially good reads if you are dating and h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:49 PM |
| 36 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.This is unfortunately so true too. The narcissistic mother who competes with her daughters. Which so many men also play on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:42 PM |
| 25 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.You’re such a strong mother to do that. It’s amazing, because you’re encouraging her to follow her intuition - which most women are gaslighted to not follow. She’s growing up with an awesome role model. I don’t mean to be patronising by saying that, just that women, especially mothers get slammed by society so a bit of positivity doesn’t go astray. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:42 PM |
| 27 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.Ugh this is so sad. I wrote above about my ex befriending a woman, who he always spoke so badly of behind her back, but yet always made time to go to the daughters birthday parties etc. He was exactly like this - very charming, butter wouldn’t melt type, always bought expensive gifts, was good with the teenage daughters baby. You can see a mile off how vulnerable these girls are though - all the kids have different fathers who abandoned the mother, the kids have babies in their teens, and they b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:38 PM |
| 12 | Saw this on IG. Could say I'm shocked but sadly I'm not.This gave me chills and reminded me of my ex and his group of friends that “friended” a woman in her who had three teenage daughters…they constantly talked shit about the woman behind her back, but she trusted them and would tell the guys the daughters private info (mental health/ stds). I looked at the girls pages and could see all the creepy likes and comments - they’d gone through the girls photos from before they knew them (so they were underage) and liked all the bikini pics etc. and said “… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:28 PM |
| 9 | The slow normalization of pedophiliaYes, but unfortunately I’ve also felt this for a long time so it doesn’t surprise me. It’s a sad state of affairs for the world today. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 05:48 AM |
| 28 | The slow normalization of pedophiliaExactly. Well said. Additionally, most relationship counsellors who understand porn also draw a boundary at porn being a form of cheating. Or at least being detrimental to the other person in the relationship. Even soft core porn has been shown to have negative impacts on the way people (mainly men) view women - they see their partner as less attractive, and show a decrease in empathy towards women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 05:47 AM |
| 103 | Reasons I changed my mind on having children and all the aspects of motherhood society does not want to acknowledge:Her “tiny feminist” - how gorgeous! Sounds like you were a very perceptive child. I totally agree with you, I used to be on the fence but the older I get the more I know it’s not for me. Who knows, I may regret it one day, but I think it’s better regretting not having them than the other way around. Sorry to hear about your marriage :/ hope it’s better for you now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 04:51 AM |
| 132 | Reasons I changed my mind on having children and all the aspects of motherhood society does not want to acknowledge:Thanks for the recommendation. This is honestly one of the main reasons I don’t want to also. I also never used to want pets - and I LOVE animals. But the constant stress of worrying if they are ok does a number on me. I do have pets now haha, but I do find myself worrying a lot about them to be honest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 04:41 AM |
| 1 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorThat is so fascinating! Makes so much sense when you explain it that way. It makes me sad how many women do get conned to feel sorry for these men and make excuses for them. I certainly did for a while. Mine also displayed anti-social behaviour (said he almost killed someone as a late teen, stole cars, dealt drugs as an adult, often in bar fights with his mates), but yet had a charming personality and had a lot of friends and a really well paying job. He would also brag about how manipulative he… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 04:02 AM |
| 2 | Women who dated covert narcissists, did their narcissism get "worse" over time?Ouch! That’s horrible. I mean, our teeth are pretty strong so it just goes to show the amount of stress you were under for that to happen! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 03:45 AM |
| 2 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorThis. This is exactly the situation I had with my ex. my depression by that point was pretty well handled (it just escalated now and again because of his abuse - which was constant)… and constantly excused due to his ADHD. But the moment I felt depressed, it was all “I never knew you were so up and down. You’re crazy. Don’t take your shit out on me.” Literally the only way my depression presented was by me crying and one night not wanting to go out for dinner (because I couldn’t stop crying and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 01:34 AM |
| 1 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorYes, as I’ve mentioned above, I had to same experience but I noticed the ADHD only flared up for me and never his friends! Who were all also abusive and misogynistic, cheated on their partners, very two faced and talked behind their backs so horribly… so did they all have ADHD? Mine also had very strong narcissistic behaviours. I actually saw a talk about how ADHD in men can be closely related with antisocial personality disorder… which I thought was interested and should be looked into further! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:56 AM |
| 2 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorInteresting. My ex would also use ADHD as a reason he would forget to call me, or message me back, or - but these things only started happening towards the end of the relationship. He never forgot to message his friends, never had too many things to do to avoid seeing them, could carry on a decent conversation with them and listen without interrupting or saying something condescending. He was able to be present and listen and engage with them, without running off to do something else mid convers… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/02/22 12:52 AM |
| 2 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorI really feel like she’s talking about my ex haha. He was with someone for 11 years also and honestly? I have no idea how she did it. He was awful to me and stories he told sounded like he was the same with her. All I can think of is they were young when they got together (well, early-mid 20s) so that’s the only reason she put up with it for so long. But I dipped after 6 months. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 10:59 PM |
| 2 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorYup! Been there, done that, bought the t-shirt, never to be worn again! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 10:57 PM |
| 7 | As a psychologist, I think something we need to do is stop using men’s mental health as an excuse for their asshole/disrespectful behaviorYes! Exactly. My first thought was, this is not his ADHD. He’s playing on it and using it as an excuse to be abusive toward her and objectify other women. If he was genuinely sorry, he would take responsibility and do something about it - see his Dr for different meds or see a psychologist to control these “compulsions” because it’s impacting his life and relationship negatively. Also, yes, I bet he doesn’t act like a clown or abusive A around other people, particularly those who are bigger than… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 10:52 PM |
| 92 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Exactly! And not even just without benefits, but also without appreciation most of the time! How many women have had their partners have digs at them for not “working” when they’ve been looking after children all day, cooking, cleaning etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 01:05 PM |
| 141 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.Wow. Talk about throwing stones from glass houses. She’s oblivious to who her husband really is! You can have all the trust in the world, but doesn’t mean he’s actually a trustworthy person acting in a trustworthy way (clearly, in this instance!) How’s she going to feel when she ages a bit and can no longer compete with these 18 year olds or justify why her husband is only following 18 year olds… when their children are that age. And you’re right, what employment will she have then? What about i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 01:00 PM |
| 79 | NEVER EVER FINANCIALLY RELY ON A MAN! Naive young women on TikTok are idealising the stay at home wife/mum lifestyle and literally cursing our hard-earnt right to work.This comment, right here! Well said 👏 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/01/22 12:53 PM |
| 3 | Staying safe on OLDYes, this is a good point. Also, if they can tempt you off the app without directly having the conversation, then they can carry on using as normal and you won’t be on there to see them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 11:29 PM |
| 5 | Staying safe on OLDYes, I’ve seen this happen so many times before! Then when you start to get more “serious” they will make their friends list private. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 11:28 PM |
| 6 | Staying safe on OLDYea, honestly the guys I’ve met and ended up in relationships with from OLD were abusive or cheaters. Or both. But there are good guys on there, my sister met her partner on there and he’s amazing. So sweet and the least misogynistic guy I know. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 11:17 PM |
| 3 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?I know, poor woman! I can’t believe she dealt with his antics for 10 years! I dipped after 6 months and felt scarred lol. I think it’s because they got together when they were in their early 20s and by the 30s she probably realised this lifestyle was not conducive with marriage and babies, which she wanted. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 10:53 PM |
| 4 | Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving himExactly. It’s funny to abusive misogynists. If the tables were turned on them, it would not be funny. They can never take back what they are so happy to dish out. Which is why we see them get so angry and violent when a woman manipulates, silent treats, ghosts, puts expectations on them about how they look or how much they earn, or cheats. A guy that is willing to do this to a woman who he apparently knows well and loves, is one who would highly unlikely take this kind of treatment from her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 02:19 PM |
| 24 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?That must’ve been bloody stressful for you at the time! Makes so much sense that he had untreated bipolar though. Hopefully he’s medicated now and turned his life around! Unfortunately, that’s so true how much danger they can get themselves and others into. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 02:06 PM |
| 22 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?Yea, mine had ADHD but he abused the meds. I think he was more on the spectrum of narc-sociopath though. He was incredibly manipulative and passive aggressive, and used to brag about how little empathy he had for people. Not to mention crim activities (stealing cards and drug dealing), always getting into bar fights, no respect for women. He did have a stable work life though somehow, earned a lot of money. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 02:04 PM |
| 17 | Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving himGood on you for having the guts to leave. So sorry you were conned like that. It seems so common unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 12:58 PM |
| 31 | Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving himExactly. I don’t even have claustrophobia but even I can imagine how it would feel to not be able to breath, having my head down in a cake, being in shock. And then humiliated in front of all my family and friends and his family and friends. It’s just awful. She sounds like she comes from a bad family too. My family sure have never been perfect and there’s been a history of DV throughout. But even my family would be telling me to leave. Wtf is this. I feel so sorry for this poor woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 12:56 PM |
| 20 | Groom smashes bride’s face into cake & she rightfully is leaving him“Sometimes other married or partnered people are miserable and perversely would be happy to see you just as miserable as they are” - yes to this! One of my friends always says this to me too. And I really agree. It’s like when people are miserable with their choice to have kids (not saying everyone or even most are), but they tend to be the ones who tell you that you should This shows so many red flags to me. I mean, if they had a super jokey type of relationship then fine. But clearly he would … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 12:34 PM |
| 15 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?So true! You identified it easily without anyone even muttering the word. They say it’s overused these days, but I don’t think so - it’s so clearly on the rise. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 09:57 AM |
| 52 | Hulu's "Wild crime" documentary shows ways men isolate, abuse, financially/ emotionally control, and eventually kill their wives. Never stop vettingVetting your partner is not toxic. You should vet everyone in your life, including friends. Mainly for safety, but also for compatibility. If you don’t vet, you have no idea what chaos and danger you could be bringing into your life and some of this takes a long time to recover from. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 08:39 AM |
| 117 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?I dated a guy like this, but noped out at 6 months. Sure, spontaneity is fun in small doses, and is fun when it’s a couple planning it. I’ve had that with ex boyfriends where we may decide to take a country break for a weekend which didn’t impact work etc. But when you have a mortgage and a career, you can’t just take time off on a whim as too many people are impacted at work… and like you say, it’s fun until it’s not. Because you do get left behind and have no idea what they are up to because s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 08:32 AM |
| 19 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?Yep, 100%! This is what I basically what I experienced in my story above. Your schedule doesn’t matter. It should all revolve around his. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 08:21 AM |
| 35 | Why do men think their sudden, unplanned, SpOnTaNeOuS trips are a positive?Yes! Exactly. I dated a guy like this. He worked fly in fly out, so would have 2-4 weeks off, every two weeks. He treated me like crap, and I was on my way out of the relationship anyway, so he wanted to plan a quick getaway suddenly (love bombing). He was furious when I didn’t go - but just bra she HIS life stopped every 2 weeks, doesn’t mean mine did. I still had to work the regular 9-5 hours. I was also not able to party every single day and night like he could and did. And he ended up just d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/01/22 08:19 AM |
| 16 | I got chucked off a left wing political facebook page I followed for years for challenging this. How do you vet for men who believe they are owed access to a woman, I'm starting to feel it might be all of them.Oh thank you, I will! Thanks for the recommendation, it’s always good to have credible people to back up your arguments in this area | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 11:41 PM |
| 53 | I got chucked off a left wing political facebook page I followed for years for challenging this. How do you vet for men who believe they are owed access to a woman, I'm starting to feel it might be all of them.Exactly! And since when did a woman’s body become a Good Samaritans centre!? Wtf is with this way of thinking. And once again, it’s a privileged white woman talking on behalf of the majority who do not choose this line of “work” for the love of it and the validation, like she seems to. Why are mens penises put above the women and children who do not choose to be in this position. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 01:33 PM |
| 144 | I got chucked off a left wing political facebook page I followed for years for challenging this. How do you vet for men who believe they are owed access to a woman, I'm starting to feel it might be all of them.That’s what I always think too - if they manage to get themselves or maybe when they are violently spit out the other end for being “too old” or if she gains weight or ends up sick or something, will her point of view be the same? I don’t think so. Most times it’s not. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 01:29 PM |
| 36 | I got chucked off a left wing political facebook page I followed for years for challenging this. How do you vet for men who believe they are owed access to a woman, I'm starting to feel it might be all of them.That is really sad. Where do you even begin to address all that. It would take a lot of patience and guiding to get her to come around to a healthier way of thinking, because someone that far gone is the type to just dig their heels in further. I don’t have the energy to argue with any of the lib fems anymore. It’s exhaustingZ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 01:25 PM |
| 54 | I got chucked off a left wing political facebook page I followed for years for challenging this. How do you vet for men who believe they are owed access to a woman, I'm starting to feel it might be all of them.Exactly! Well said. I felt sick reading this. The way it panders to men and acting like they need sex. It’s so disgusting. What about all the women who’s husbands are brain damaged or passed away? Well, people would be up in arms if roles were reversed, talking about how perverted and cruel she is. But men, oh no, they need sex. Ugh. I’m done. Can’t deal anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/01/22 01:14 PM |
| 1 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.So sorry to hear you went through that, but I’m so glad you realised and left him! It’s so true, these types can sniff out the vulnerable and play on it so well. I had an ex who you’d think butter wouldn’t melt, because he acted so sweet and charming in front of the ladies especially. Not sickly charming either, just seemed pleasant and down to earth and kind. Ooof. Was that a mask or what! But that’s how they get the vulnerable women who they know are out of their league, and together with push… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 11:24 PM |
| 5 | Crystal Hefner Destroys Depraved Hugh Hefner's Revenge Porn StashEw! I’m sorry to hear your brother is like that. I couldn’t stand seeing those bunnies everywhere. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 11:19 PM |
| 7 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.Oh my gosh, yes! Such a good point. I feel like that’s something women aren’t encouraged to think about enough - do they actually like him?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 03:10 PM |
| 16 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.Yeaaa… I’m getting to the point where if a man tells a weird story about his breakup. I’m just switching the roles. So in your case, assuming HE was the one partying all the time and probably cheating to be honest. And she kicked him out because of this. (Obviously not in all cases, but I feel your gut knows an abuser or cheater quite quickly). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 02:34 PM |
| 15 | Why I’m against strip clubsWell said. That’s why, I don’t think comparing women going to male strippers is comparable to men going to women strippers. It doesn’t take into account patriarchal societal conditioning that men are the subjects and women are the objects. Women can’t objectify men to the same level, because men are as a default seen as people first, even when being displayed as an object of desire. Women, on the other hand, are objectified even when fully clothed, and particularly if scantily clad or naked, bot… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 02:21 PM |
| 9 | Why I’m against strip clubsSo true. This is all too common. Friends have told me about what their partners friends have gotten up to on bachelors - often ending with getting something more from the stripper or another woman. It’s so gross. So many women who are cool with strippers are totally oblivious to what really goes on. You see all the stories on mums net and things like that, where they are finding out trickle truths about their new-husbands or soon-to-be-husband’s or bachelor party. Too many men see it as their la… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 02:07 PM |
| 68 | Women who dated covert narcissists, did their narcissism get "worse" over time?Wow. This is all so true. The teeth grinding! Yes! And migraines and sore muscles from your body screaming at you that something is not right. I still find myself grinding my teeth when my mind wanders to thinking about my narc ex | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:49 PM |
| 84 | Women who dated covert narcissists, did their narcissism get "worse" over time?My first thought when I read your story - holy crap, that is terrifying and next level crazy! All of it, but the fist through the air vent! Ohhh my gosh. My final thought - 😂 good one! You hit him where it will hurt the most, his ego. Haha! May be petty, but you wouldn’t say it to a normal person who hadn’t systematically abused you and terrorised you! You could’ve done far worse than that. I say good on you. Made me giggle. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 12:50 PM |
| 8 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.Exactly! It helps to be mindful that there are a lot of men who will do this… and therefore you should vet for this the best you can. But don’t get caught up in the idea that they will suddenly change for a dream girl. Usually they just got a rare opportunity with someone new and shiny. Or they may find this “dream girl” is more easily manipulated and controlled. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 05:27 AM |
| 8 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.Oh, I totally feel you. I had this just around the time I joined FDS with a couple of guys. One was a total psychopath and one was probably a narc. But he had wasted 10 years with another woman and then went out with me, but he was still very much a boys boy. He also kept other women my age around, I guess as back up wives? Because he was super flirty and friendly to their faces, but absolutely trashed them behind their backs. I’m sure he did the same to me, hence why I left. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 05:07 AM |
| 42 | Why I’m against strip clubsI’m so sick of that attitude in men. Honestly, don’t get married then! And when she leaves, they play the poor me victim card again. It’s sociopathic. You cannot win with these types. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:17 AM |
| 40 | Why I’m against strip clubsSo true. Even the ones who hide it initially and pretend they don’t, if you keep playing along and just act liberal and curious, they will tell on themselves eventually. Edit: I dated a guy who said one of his mates wives came barging into the friends house one night, because he didn’t answer numerous calls and messages and she thought they had a stripper there. To me, that just demonstrated how much these guys do go to strippers or have strippers over, because she was paranoid about it to the p… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:09 AM |
| 57 | Why I’m against strip clubsYes exactly. There’s a YouTube video by professor Sam Vaknin talking about the rise in sexual abuse and objectification of women being because women are now equal or more powerful than men in every other area of their lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:07 AM |
| 28 | Why I’m against strip clubsUgh gross. Thank you for sharing and I’m so sorry you went through that. Unfortunately it’s such a big thing where I live. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:06 AM |
| 176 | Crystal Hefner Destroys Depraved Hugh Hefner's Revenge Porn StashSame. I know internet porn is far worse now but let’s not downplay the impact that even this “soft core” porn has on society. It still has a negative impact. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 01:00 AM |
| 105 | You will KNOW when a man wants you as his everything. Because HE KNOWS right away.I agree. Though I would caution one thing. Don’t assume that an LVM will suddenly change for his dream girl. He will treat her the same way eventually. I just feel there’s a risk that too much responsibility and blame is placed on women for being used for not being “dream girl” material. They way people treat you is a reflection on them, not a reflection on you. Further to this, you will often see men be with forever girlfriends for 10-15 years and then suddenly marry the next one. It doesn’t me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 12:53 AM |
| 83 | The Fantasy vs The Reality ✨Yup! Bingo. I had exes ask me also if I had a new guy weeks after breaking up with them. They could not fathom the reason I would break up with them was because they treated me like shit. They couldn’t be alone and monkey branch, so they assumed I would too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/01/22 12:43 AM |
| 57 | When they tell you to settle for the guy’s attractiveness and the moment he levels up, he dumps you.I’ve had very similar experiences with this also. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 01:30 PM |
| 80 | When they tell you to settle for the guy’s attractiveness and the moment he levels up, he dumps you.I dated a guy who was a bit podgy, but I didn’t actually care as he was tall and I liked his personality, so I thought he was hot. However, he was obsessed with his weight, and after he “had me” for a few months, he started to lose weight (I think initially to keep up with me as I’m pretty health conscious and slim). Anyway, he lost a whole pile of weight and hoooly crap did he start acting like a TOTAL douche. Suddenly very contemptuous towards me, talked down to me all the time when I tried to… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 01:26 PM |
| 92 | When they tell you to settle for the guy’s attractiveness and the moment he levels up, he dumps you.Sounds like she also had a lucky escape then. Some of them get so tangled up and never get out but get treated like shit and manipulated, and then traded in when they age a few years. They always think they got the prize… until he starts treating them the same way. I think often the younger women have it drilled into their head that they are “better” because men say that to them - so they think they will be treated like a princess by him. Nope. I was caught out with that when I was 19 and the wh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/01/22 01:15 PM |
| 23 | Same dudes who have/want to have casual sex will look down on YOU for having a history of it. The hypocrisy. Yet another reason to stay away from casual sex AND slutty guys, they're hypocrites with insane Madonna-whore complexes and STDs/STIs who think they're a prize to be won.Such a great way to put it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 10:55 PM |
| 96 | Same dudes who have/want to have casual sex will look down on YOU for having a history of it. The hypocrisy. Yet another reason to stay away from casual sex AND slutty guys, they're hypocrites with insane Madonna-whore complexes and STDs/STIs who think they're a prize to be won.Exactly! And the ones that they will put into girlfriend category, are the ones that they think they can pull the wool over their eyes and cheat on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/01/22 10:53 PM |
| 11 | Harbouring resentment in future relationshipsHappy Birthday for tomorrow!!! Welcome to the dirty thirties, where life just keeps getting better - sounds like you’re going in with the right mindset so it will be amazing! Hope you have an amazing day and celebrate however you wish too 🎉🥂🎁 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 09:19 AM |
| 3 | Scrote abuses and manipulates wife into thinking she is ugly and blames herself for his cheating and abuse.This was my first thought! What the actual fuck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 02:18 AM |
| 16 | Men Abuse Women Who They Perceive to be BETTER THAN THEMYes, so true of many narcissists and psychopaths. I had an ex who tried to get me back, but thank god I never went back. My therapist and my father warned me that he would be doing it all for the power and in order to be even worse and then ditch me on his own terms. I have no doubt he would’ve, because even when he saw me and spoke to me when he was trying to get me back - he looked at me with contempt and this simmering rage. He was furious his toy left him. Even though his toy left him from b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 02:04 AM |
| 38 | Do you talk to your therapist about FDS?I’ve also experienced this with therapists too. I think that it’s usually them bring their bias in, because they’ve settled in a certain area with their partner and to admit that something isn’t ok, would be to have to look at the reality of their partner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 01:37 AM |
| 150 | Negs her, calls her response a meltdown, asks reddit if he is wrong or if she is overreacting.So gross. Women can’t even enjoy a dessert without being made to feel guilty or wrong. Even if he did mean nothing by his comment, I’m just so sick of that being the default that people go to. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 01:01 AM |
| 144 | Negs her, calls her response a meltdown, asks reddit if he is wrong or if she is overreacting.Right, no happy birthday?! Even after she said it twice! It’s the most obvious and basic courtesy, even small children understand. He was intentionally trying to make her feel like shit and unimportant by not only not saying happy birthday, but negging her on top of that. Gtfoh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/01/22 12:51 AM |
| 1 | I’ll never understand how beautiful young women can be attracted to this LV 37 year old man 🤮A man sized thumb 😂 Old comment, no idea how I came across this post but this comment cracked me up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/01/22 01:08 AM |
| 61 | Awful everything 😩 same grooming, different scroteUnfortunately this is far too common. Women are gaslit to think all men will be tempted to cheat… particularly with younger women, and he will change when they are married. So sad. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/01/22 03:15 AM |
| 55 | I Regret my Plastic Surgery: The Impact of the Patriarchy & LVM FathersI really relate to this. I’m glad you have stabilised your weight and you are no longer weighing yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 04:15 PM |
| 41 | Lil Miss Cheetah catches a Cheater red-handed 🥴😂The amount of guys that take off their wedding rings when they go out is insane! My friends and I were out once, and this guy got so drunk he was bragging to my friend and her partner that he took off his ring so he could pick up. Fcking gross. I didn’t realise this at the time, but I almost dated his friend… until I found out that he was drumroll … you guessed it! MARRIED. With a toddler who was seriously Sick. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 04:00 PM |
| 88 | Lil Miss Cheetah catches a Cheater red-handed 🥴😂This was my first thought! Haha. Wow. What an ego he has on him 😅 excuse me, but who are you, sir? It reminds me of when Kim K was splitting from Kris Humphries. He was saying she defrauded him by marrying him for his fame (they were getting an annulment). And Kourtney jumps in with “but I think if Kim was doing it for the attention, she would have chosen someone that people knew” couldn’t help but laugh at her honesty and realism. This guy needs a wake up call. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 03:57 PM |
| 6 | We have to stop putting up with this shit 🤡I agree. Only reason I knew a guy was trying to cheat with me on another woman, was because the woman found out (we were acquaintances) and called me to tell me she was currently dating him. Wild. Never experienced anything quite like it before even though I’ve read stories and had it happen to a friend. It’s more common than we think. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 03:42 PM |
| 6 | We have to stop putting up with this shit 🤡Yes! Both of these are overlooked far too much! Women tend to be blamed and then blame themselves if he lies - ‘oh it must be because she’s too hard on him and he knew she wouldn’t like the LIE.’ And yes, even Lundy Bancroft talks about this in his book ‘Why does he do that’ - most men who claim to have been abused, were actually the abuser themselves. This checked out twice in my time. One of the guys I dated seriously, the other one I only went on one date and then dipped out because I got a b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 03:28 PM |
| 8 | We have to stop putting up with this shit 🤡Oh yep. It’s not uncommon in my experience. My ex and I went on a date and he kept getting call after call after call from a “Sarah”. He said it was his cousin trying to call him from his wife’s phone as he was drunk and his phone ran out of battery. I only sort of believed him but gave him the benefit of the doubt 🤡 I caught him out in various little white lies throughout our time together… When I broke up with him, he was trying for months to get back with me…but after some sleuthing I figured… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 03:20 PM |
| 2 | And don't you ever forget it. Not ever.Sorry, I just saw this comment. I will Message to you | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 12:21 PM |
| 1 | On dating married menYou speak so much truth in this comment, I don’t even know where to start. You’re so right, they are insecure and bitter but pretend to be the life of the party. And the fact they will mirror a confident woman, then do their damned best to bring her down - yes, the amount of times I’ve seen this play out is just crazy. It does take a sick, insecure, and bitter person to get a thrill from cheating on and hurting someone (or the thought of hurting them, whilst they get away with it). I’ve been at … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/01/22 12:17 PM |
| 69 | Casual Sex ConfusionThis is so true. Before I found FDS I also went through this stage. And I was assaulted by a guy. It’s hard to explain but it was terrifying what he did, and I honestly thought he was going to bash me and no one would know where I was (well, I gave them his address before I went but what good was it if I was already dead…) It’s one thing to be “aware” of the dangers but another thing to be pinned down by a man much bigger and stronger than you, in his house, unable to see or breathe properly or … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/01/22 11:04 AM |
| 3 | Please, for your own sake: Find out if he was a loser before.I agree, I really like her for her content on confidence and advocating for yourself as a woman. I don’t agree on all her views either, but she is on point if you need a pep talk about how to pick yourself, brush yourself off, and go after what you need and want. I think she’d be an awesome person to know in real life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 03:13 PM |
| 19 | On dating married menI don’t care what people say, I honestly think that any serial cheat is a narcissist. I know cheating doesn’t define narcissism, but if you get to an age where you know right from wrong and your prefrontal cortex is fully developed, yet you’re able to cheat - you’re a narc. It takes too many of the selfish and self absorbed character traits to continuously cheat on someone. I would make exceptions for young people who lack life experience and a sense of self, and people who maybe cheat once and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 02:38 PM |
| 28 | On dating married menExactly. I really don’t know why so many people, especially women, find that hard to believe. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 02:30 PM |
| 37 | On dating married menI know, right. Same situation. I’ve had multiple married men or men in ltr try it on with me over the least year or so. This is also why we don’t accept inconsistent communication. That was my first tell tail sign, and all my friends told me I was being paranoid because I was used to abusive and over-communicative men, and expecting too much. Nope. I was right all along. They were taken. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 02:28 PM |
| 30 | On dating married menWow. I’m so sorry you went through that. It never ceases to amaze me how they get away with it. It just goes to show how freaking sneaky they are! People assume there’s always warning signs, but imo there isn’t, and even if there is, it’s so easily explained away with “I’ve just been busy at work/ lunch with friends/ couple of beers with the boys/ going to parents for dinner/ just playing golf/ popping to the shop” you get the picture. And there are just too many sneaky ways they hide messages a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 02:23 PM |
| 28 | This man is 24. His “best friend” was 14 while he was a 20 year old man waiting for her to be legal to call his GF. This man is a pedophile.Yes! I commented above that he made this all about HIM, before I read your comment. So true. Even the fact it’s “finally” her 18th birthday is about him, not about her birthday which is usually a milestone for people … but men make that milestone about them. So gross | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 12:37 AM |
| 65 | This man is 24. His “best friend” was 14 while he was a 20 year old man waiting for her to be legal to call his GF. This man is a pedophile.I know. And the fact he made it about HIM on her birthday - finally 18 for HIM. Ew. Seriously the amount of entitlement these men have. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/01/22 12:34 AM |
| 4 | Is He Negging You? 10 Signs He’s Trying To Secretly Destroy Your ConfidenceEw. He was definitely trying to bring you down a peg or too since he knew you were out of his league and just better than him in general. Gross. Good on you for dropping him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/22 11:53 AM |
| 8 | Is He Negging You? 10 Signs He’s Trying To Secretly Destroy Your ConfidenceYep. Totally agree. Women who do this are gross too. I’ve had “friends” who were like this and I just was so uncomfortable I had to drop them. Who do they think they are. I’ve also had partners do this and they were narcissists. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/01/22 11:52 AM |
| 73 | Pickme rewards her husband with a blowjob after he's been sexually absent and mainly being intimate IN HIS DREAMS 😔Yep. We know women can have high or low sex drives, as can men, but when it’s to that extent - there’s usually always something else, and with guys it’s usually porn or cheating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/01/22 10:30 AM |
| 20 | When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each dayAre you me?! Literally the same experience. The smearing with his friends started even before we got together properly (because I wanted to take it slow). Sometimes he would treat me like crap in front of his friends as he’d smeared me so much, I think it was his attempt of getting me to act out or to pretend like I had been bad before. It was like a switched flipped when they arrived | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/01/22 12:18 AM |
| 27 | When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each daySo sorry you went through that and I’m also glad you didn’t marry him. You’re right, neglect is soul destroying in a way that’s hard to explain. I dipped out when a guy was doing this to me after 4 months. No thanks. I feel so bad for women like this woman, who must feel so trapped and unwanted at the same time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:18 PM |
| 61 | When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each dayHah. You wrote that so well. You pretty much summed up exactly what my ex said about a young girl he also was “there for” when she was apparently depressed and suicidal. Though he never had any empathy for me when I had told him I experienced severe depression and the rest, in the past and even in the time we were together if I had a rough day. We were only together four months. I can’t imagine how he would’ve been if I married him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:06 PM |
| 156 | When your husband sets a timer for how long you spend together each dayThat’s what I thought also. I’m guessing she’s probably been through the narc cycle a few times with him but was perhaps too busy looking after kids and the household to notice. But it’s come to a head now as she’s unwell. This is so sad. I had an ex that also acted like he couldn’t stand to be around me, unless we were with all his friends, or it was for sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 04:02 PM |
| 132 | girl whatThis is so true. Younger men these days can actually have some style and go to the gym, and seem to be earning pretty decent wages in comparison to what the older guys were earning back then. Times have changed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/01/22 09:35 AM |
| 178 | Men Double TextingThis will get worse. Your gut instinct is on point. Can guarantee if he’s busy and doesn’t text back, you won’t be able to say anything and will be told you’re controlling if you do. It’s double standards and he’s already playing games trying to punish you for not responding right away. I had an ex like this. It got worse and worse and worse. I wasn’t allowed to be busy at work or dinner for 30-60 minutes. He would get in a big huff! Yet, he would be too busy renovating his home or drinking with… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 03:28 AM |
| 86 | Man who used woman for sex is mad that she used him for sex. There is no such thing as casual sex. They will always want to keep it casual but do not like it when you treat them the same wayHaha exactly. She probably just couldn’t be bothered talking to him about anything, because she knew he wouldn’t get it and wanted him to shut up before his stupid mouth ruined whatever sexual attraction she had for him in that moment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/01/22 12:02 AM |
| 92 | Man who used woman for sex is mad that she used him for sex. There is no such thing as casual sex. They will always want to keep it casual but do not like it when you treat them the same wayOmg. This. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 11:58 PM |
| 5 | A “predictable response” from a redditor. My concern about men preying on young girls is definitely just jealousy 🙄Right? They feed of your reaction. When I was a teenager I would get shy and giggle and smile sweetly and be flattered (because I was attractive but naturally shy and awkward therefore not popular with people my age). Now? Nah, creepy guys don’t get great reaction from me at all. And you see it on their face when they realise they can’t manipulate you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 11:49 PM |
| 1 | It is SO easy for women to access sexYes, she’s always “one of the boys” and claims other women don’t like her because she’s too hot and into boys things… but there’s plenty of hot women with hot friends so it doesn’t add up. Usually she’s projecting her own feelings of inadequacy onto the other women and SHE is the ones that’s jealous and doesn’t want to be shown up, so she hangs with the boys and outcasts any other woman that tries to get into the group… The boys will also make her feel like queen bee, be nice to her face and inc… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/01/22 05:16 AM |
| 130 | Hot Take: Whenever I see stuff like this, I assume the guy has paedophilic tendencies or has watched too much pornThanks for mentioning the book - im going to look this up! Hopefully can get it on audible. The plastic surgery thing - yep. 100%. It’s always been a huge area of interest to me, even before porn was so big. I wanted to study whether education women about digital retouching in the media, decreased the levels of dissatisfaction when viewing other women in the media (as it’s well documented that women have increased levels of body dissatisfaction, increased thoughts around disordered eating, decre… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/01/22 02:28 AM |
| 11 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasyIt’s so frustrating and disheartening. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 12:04 PM |
| 110 | Oh god…this is so cringy and sad. Why is no one telling this woman to get some therapy? I have no words. This is far worse than just a PickMe.So true. This is incredibly sad. People have become a lot more isolated now, more than ever, even though we are so “connected” through social media. It’s starving us of real love and affection. Not just social media of course, but our world that encourages and rewards narcissism. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 11:45 AM |
| 137 | Never stop vetting! Even after being faithful to your partner for 8 years, he could still think that he can do better and want to bang other women. Scrotes like this just want to get their dick wet and are never satisfied no matter how spectacular their gf is.Perfect comment. So true. I hope that he leaves her too, so she can find someone that deserves her and actually appreciates her. Did it ever occur to him that maybe SHE has wondered what it would be like to date other men, especially considering this is his attitude, I’m sure it will slip out in the way her treats her. And did he stop to think perhaps SHE can do better. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 10:56 AM |
| 27 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasyUgh exactly. There’s a lot of victim blaming saying women waste their time in their 20s dating the f-boys. But the thing is, most guys were the f-bois and women were primed to go for men like this and not see through their BS. These people act like women who got married in their 20s all did the right thing, but how many divorces do you see coming through in the 30s/40s because women start to realise how they’ve been mislead, used, abused and cheated on?! It’s enraging. There needs to be a whole … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 08:45 AM |
| 42 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasyExactly! The men who are attractive older men, were still more attractive below a certain age. But also, they were conventionally much more attractive than the men saying this stuff anyway, so I really don’t understand what business they have even bringing these names up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 08:36 AM |
| 60 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasySo true. Also, I feel like the whole being physically attractive equals being sexually attractive, is actually from the objectification of women and pornification of sex. Basically, in the past we could appreciate beauty without being sexually attracted to it. But now, people (women) are objectified based on their physical looks. Before, sexually attraction was based on so much more - the spark and connection between people, the way someone walks, the way they talk, how they feel and smell, and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 08:34 AM |
| 19 | The idea that men peak in their 30s is a male fantasySpot. On. 👏 Unfortunately, they do gain power - the power of manipulation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 08:28 AM |
| 11 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsSo true. I remember saying to an ex that I would love to teach women and men about the way the media was shaping our ideals and causing dissatisfaction in relationships (focussed on media as porn wasn’t so big back then). I also said I will need to be attractive to be listened to. He disagreed and laughed and said I was smart and people would listen either way (he wasn’t as misogynistic as most men). Anyway, what you said confirms exactly what I thought too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 01:30 AM |
| 12 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsYep. I remember the days when porn was seen as a weirdos thing, once a guy was over 15 and had actually at least kissed a girl. And it was ok for women to say that they didn’t like their boyfriends having nudie posters (if they even had them). Now look at the mess we are in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 01:28 AM |
| 6 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsI think that’s a really great point. In general, I’m sure I’ve seen somewhere that DV contributes to women developing alzheimers, which would make sense, as it’s chronic trauma. But also, add into the mix the amount of women who are being strangled consistently, and starting at very young ages - there has to be consequences in the future that we don’t yet know about or understand. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 01:23 AM |
| 14 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsExactly!!! I didn’t realise how dangerous it was until multiple counsellors also said that to me. They said even aside from the consent BS that if a woman has any bruising on her neck they get her to seek medical attention as damage may have been done. I almost lost consciousness from an ex who did this to me harder than ever before, the night we became exclusive… so he choked me til I bruised and almost passed out when he knew (thought) he had me under control. And your last point - women need … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 01:19 AM |
| 14 | It’s insane that a tweet like this gets thousands of likes and retweets when a guy says it, but when women said it a long time ago, it falls on deaf earsYou speak so much truth. How the F did we get to this point where women are severely damaged, mentally and physically, and even killed during sex - and it needs to be then investigated and go through court to see if it was intentional murder or if she consented. What. The. Actual. Fuck. If this were men dying and being hurt during sex, it would be clear cut and the woman would be in jail. Porn would be banned and we wouldn’t have these discussions about consent. I feel like we are living in a pa… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/01/22 01:15 AM |
| 7 | They’re “not in a relationship” but “exclusive” after 6 months of dating 🚩🤡and it turns out he’s a creep and a liarBingo. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/01/22 12:37 AM |
| 1 | behaviors that connote power, control, dominance: what to avoidYes, this is such a good point and often something I have encountered, particularly in my last dealings with an abusive guy. They also like to use your response as an excuse to abuse you further. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/01/22 12:24 AM |
| 6 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexYep, it’s so gross. I’ve seen it too many times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 12:12 PM |
| 2 | Do you have any male friends?I relate to this 100% - it’s awful. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 12:11 PM |
| 1 | Talk to your ex’s exI’m so sorry that was her reaction and you experienced that. Even if we choose not to tell them anything more it can have lasting impacts on the way we view ourselves and relationships. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 11:40 AM |
| 1 | Talk to your ex’s exI’m so sorry you felt that way. Just goes to show how much he brought your self esteem down too. And even as someone who you see as “more beautiful” than you, that he did the same to her. I do think we also tend to put the exes or women who we question, on a pedestal and think they are “better” than us, than they really are. Good on you for being so brave and thank you for sharing your experience! I had a similar experience lately - a woman contacted me, as she heard rumours I was dating her boy… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 11:32 AM |
| 3 | Prime example that having money does not automatically make you a HVM! Beware of ‘godly men’ queens.This is SO true. Happened with my last ex. He had put on a lot of weight when we reconnected. Anyway, he ended up losing a lot when he was with me, and look, I liked him either way tbh. BUT he kept bragging about how much he lost every day, and it was like his attitude changed over night. He became so contemptuous and condescending toward me. We only dated for 4-5 months (and half of that he was away). People used to constantly say that I was way out of his league, but his sudden weight loss, ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 10:54 AM |
| 2 | I haven't seen a disgusting serial dater like Pete DavidsonThis. This is what I was going to say. I think BPD presents in men differently and is perhaps misdiagnosed, because they are more likely to be narcissists or sociopaths, as you said. Because not only do they not have the excessive empathy (which can often be present in women with BPD) but they actually have a clearly obvious lack of empathy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 10:31 AM |
| 2 | Do you have any male friends?Yep. This is far too common. The amount of work places I’ve been at where the men are having affairs (or trying to get with women at work) is disgusting. They look like such great husbands on SM talking about their “beautiful wife” that they adore etc. and the wives have no idea what’s really going on behind their backs. I worked with a woman recently who told me the following in different conversations: her husband often needs to have meetings after work, they never have sex and he often declin… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/01/22 09:39 AM |
| 2 | Scrotal audacityYou could be right. I really hope you are! Maybe it’s just ego recovery on his part. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 06:18 PM |
| 2 | Advice on finances?Yes, all of this. Good advice! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:53 AM |
| 2 | Scrotal audacityYes, this! 100%. He’s used this to portray her as stupid. Plus, she’s let him know her vulnerabilities and he’s gaslit her (successfully, it seems), to think that she was being unreasonable by having standards. Not only that, now he’s also learned how to play the game and manipulate more to lower her and other women’s standards. She’s toast now, probably. As once she’s shown a chink in her armour, he’s prized it open and will continue to do so until she’s beaten down and accepts nothing from him… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:44 AM |
| 3 | Happy New year lasses, and REMEMBERYes, this. The amount of guys I’ve had hit on me lately that are married or in ltr is ridiculous. It’s so annoying. Here I was trying to pick myself up, get out there again, and date as well as make new friends, and literally just meeting cheaters. One was trying to cheat with me on his ltr with a woman I know (I didn’t know they were together, until she contacted me on SM). We both ghosted him. The second, my friend found out on SM that he actually has a wife and sick baby. The third, started s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:36 AM |
| 42 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexThat’s so selfish! How can he expect oral and won’t give it back to women. It also sounds like he had massive insecurities that he was projecting onto you. Sounds narcissistic almost, like, you need to constantly prove you care and are attracted to him - which results in you constantly giving him validation and thinking of him, him, him and proving your worth and love for him. But you didn’t receive that back. I actually read a woman I follow on SM said that she wouldn’t date a man who doesn’t g… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:22 AM |
| 41 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexI feel sorry for young people today also. I’m mid-30s so internet porn did come about when I was coming of age, but it wasn’t as rampant and the sex I had with boyfriends was actually loving and caring and exciting (for the most part, except for one computer whizz who looking back I can see already had a porn addiction). But even now, dating guys my age, they are so pornfried. It must be even worse for the young girls and guys. Because I know the guys are the ones who are watching the porn and a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:14 AM |
| 42 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexYes! Not only is it giving your power away to men. But it’s also risky. There are SO many women who are “wifed up” with total playboys. So being the wife means they got picked.. yes, they got picked to be his emotional punching bag to take everything out on and blame everything on, his mommy-bang-maid-chef-taxi driver, his personal accountant, his child bearer and child rearer, his cleaner, his occasional masturbation toy etc. while he still goes out and cheats on her every chance he gets, and i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:09 AM |
| 39 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexOr they will get to a certain age, usually mid 30s and above, and choose a willing woman to marry, while they carry on their fckboi ways and just cheat. Narcissism at its finest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:06 AM |
| 49 | As funny as this sounds it's really hard to find men who actually like sexI think humans in general are on a spectrum, and in our natural state most of us (including men) are probably more towards Demisexual. But sex has become so pornified and is just about the objectification of a woman’s body, that the emotional side of it is pretty much overlooked and forgotten completely now. Also, I wouldn’t say pickmes or lib fems are sexual or even hyper sexual. I think they’ve become “sexy” as in, “sexy objects” for men, which comes in the form of appearing hypersexual, in or… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 08:05 AM |
| 23 | He didn’t really ask, but I’ll answer (scrotes, pay attention!)I am SO sorry you had to deal with this. What a POS. Disgusting. Not only racist but how dare he think you owe him any of your time or energy. You’re a person. Not an object. What if you were going through something horrible in your day. Ugh. Men like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 04:32 AM |
| 1 | Porn is neither harmless nor fantasyYes anal is another one - though I think it’s usually symbolic of being porn sick and also power and control/ domination. That’s what my super abusive ex told me. The last guy also tried to force me when he was on drugs and I could tell he had contempt for me at that time, he was a narc for sure. But it felt like he was trying to dominate me. Of course I said no. He also tried to drug me with date rape drug, but he didn’t realise I saw him mix it with another drug. He then said “why won’t you ta… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 04:17 AM |
| 1 | Porn is neither harmless nor fantasyExactly!!! This point is missed far. too. often! People immediately jump to the “consent” issue and it’s ok if she consented, or at least, he should get a slap on the wrist for not getting consent initially and in future he should… No. WHY are we accepting that we have a whole generation of men who get off on violently assaulting women. Choking is dangerous, even if done “properly” but why would you want to be with someone who needs or even wants to hurt you during sex? I had multiple relationsh… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 04:09 AM |
| 1 | Porn is neither harmless nor fantasyI really hope she stays away. I don’t know her, but I’m so proud she listened to her gut instinct. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 04:05 AM |
| 1 | Porn is neither harmless nor fantasyOh, it wouldn’t be accepted! No way. There would be an uproar. Even just to state that women are visual and watch porn of MEN (straight women anyway), they can’t handle it! They don’t mind women watching porn… because they assume they watch lesbian stuff or just look at the woman. If you say you’re there for the guy - they often rage. So, if they had to deal with us watching half the violent crap they watch, they would freak TF out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/01/22 04:04 AM |
| 8 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?Aw, thank you! What a nice comment. I’ve found lately a lot of low energy people have been clearing from life on their own, so what’s a few more haha. Make room for something better ;) Wishing you the best for 2022! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 04:21 PM |
| 16 | 8 Signs of a Low Value ManYep, so true. Narcs / sociopaths are quite likely to do well in their careers and life - because they just go for what they want, and the status they want, without caring who they trample over. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 02:48 PM |
| 9 | Basically they admit to everything FDS warns us about.That is effing gross. Bravo buddy, what an achievement! /s Haha great response on your part though. Edit: typo | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Flip that script and call a spade a spade!Word! One of my girlfriends brothers also said this to us, pretty much word for word. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:57 PM |
| 3 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.How disgusting. I’m so sad for women who’s lives are ended like this in such a tragic way. That’s why I don’t like it when people pressure women to leave - she knows the danger she could be in, and it’s better to create a solid safety plan to get out alive. But even then, it’s not foolproof because unfortunately these daytime attacks happen also and it’s literally the kind of situation where she has to leave her entire life behind to get away. It’s sickening. I totally agree with you, women need… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:51 PM |
| 3 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.I honestly think you’re onto something with this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:47 PM |
| 1 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.I think this is a really likely situation too. I’ve been paralysed by fear of what a guy would do to me, a few times, but one in particular was terrifying. I was literally frozen and it took everything for me to not go back. I almost cut off everyone in my life to keep them safe. This could very well have been her logic too. I’m | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:45 PM |
| 5 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.You’re 100% right. I’ve mentioned before - my exes best friend constantly abuses his gf saying nobody else would want her as a single mother in her 30s. She runs to my ex (her partners best mate) for solace, but she doesn’t realise he’s just as bad - he just plays the part to get extra information that he feeds back to his mate. Even my ex talked about how he wanted to smash her in the face because she’s annoying and brings that abuse on herself. So two faced. I feel so bad. She has been mentall… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:41 PM |
| 5 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.Holy crap. I am so glad you got out of there. Sometimes they don’t threaten. But when they do, it can be paralysing. I stayed in a relationship for 5 years because I was terrified of the guy and his were more veiled threats and psychological manipulation. I would have been paralysed if he said what yours said to you. I’m so sorry! And I’m so proud you still left. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:34 PM |
| 1 | Turkish woman marries boyfriend who threw acid in her face. Nope, just nope.Exactly. And victims have been primed to over empathise with the abuser often, and feel guilty and at fault, so they stay to protect and help the abuser. It’s all kinds of effed up. I’ve been there a couple of times unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:32 PM |
| 2 | The most dangerous thing about narcissism is that people think it’s excessive self-love, when it’s actually chronic self-loathing.So true. And this is often why they are unable to be alone. Psychopaths can be quite solitary and play the part to have good relationships - I’ve dated a couple. But narcissists are more likely to suffer badly on their own, they can’t handle not having someone stroke their ego 24/7 or being disliked by anyone. My last ex was like that, he literally couldn’t stand to be alone with his own thoughts and had to numb himself with drugs and alcohol or quickly find someone to be around. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:26 PM |
| 37 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?Just chillin’ at home. Went for a long walk as I’ve fallen off the exercise wagon with Christmas and Covid… had dinner, so now just going to relax, do some self care, put a tan on, and clean up my apartment a bit. Could’ve made plans but I realised they’d be with people who don’t bring much positivity to my life, so I decided to start the new year on my own to symbolise courage, strength, and new beginnings with new people I’ve yet to meet. Edit: Grammar | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:21 PM |
| 7 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?“2021 wasn’t great so it can see itself out” - love that. Shame you are unable to go out and do something though, if that’s what you were hoping for. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:17 PM |
| 5 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?Sounds lovely! Happy new year 🥳 💗 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:16 PM |
| 4 | Queens, what are your plans for NYE?A feast and “a few bottles” - I like your style ;) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:13 PM |
| 1 | Levelling up man freeCongratulations OP!!! This is amazing! I’m so happy for you :) Onwards and upwards! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 06:02 AM |
| 10 | Levelling up man freeYes! 💯!!! I spent years with various LVM and was scared to be alone and cut off all contact with any. As soon as I did, I did have to do some grieving and I was alone, so I had to build my life and friends back up. But suddenly after a few months, I had energy! I had brain space at work and I was motivated and excited to learn new things (and learned things faster and easier), I needed less sleep, wasn’t constantly in a daze or headachy, I didn’t want to drink so much, i wanted to eat better and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 06:01 AM |
| 21 | STORYTIME: "Parking Lot Peril" Safety Tips I Always Follow and Trusting Your InstinctsYes good point - I had an experience where someone tried to get in my passenger side when I was sitting in my car a few weeks ago, which I wrote about further up in the thread. Didn’t realise it was such a common thing, so thank you for your comment pointing this out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 05:24 AM |
| 31 | STORYTIME: "Parking Lot Peril" Safety Tips I Always Follow and Trusting Your InstinctsTerrifying! Good on you for listening to your instincts. I’ve read / heard that often our subconscious picks up on clues (such as the jackets in summer in your case) and our body feels that intuition before our conscious brain has time to process the information. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 05:21 AM |
| 24 | STORYTIME: "Parking Lot Peril" Safety Tips I Always Follow and Trusting Your InstinctsMy gosh, this is so scary. Good on your for trusting your instincts and I’m so glad you’re ok! I feel like a lot of people would fall for his tactic and it’s a common one for people to leave things on the windows so the driver gets out to check it out, then they rob them or steal their car. It’s terrifying out there. I was in a car park in broad daylight around the corner from my home a few weeks ago, chilling in my car after I had been to the shop, which I often do. A guy walked super close to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 05:19 AM |
| 19 | Basically they admit to everything FDS warns us about.I know, I agree. I feel like, after the latest maybe 25ish (but realistically younger than that), the sex with as many people as possible should get kind of old… I just don’t understand this new “thrill” that even cheaters talk of. Want some excitement in your life? Try something new! Go travelling to a new place, study for a new career, open a business, sky dive, become a sky dive teacher, learn to scuba dive, go trekking somewhere, go to a theme park, paragliding, swim with sharks, ANYTHING! B… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 04:47 AM |
| 34 | Anyone else experiencing the desperation going on in OLD right now?I’m not on OLD but I’ve had a few past LVM exes and friends reach out to me over the holiday period. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 04:43 AM |
| 1 | FDS angers Reddit at large, and that's how you know it works.Oh yeah, 100%! We should have higher standards than the bare minimum I outlined, it’s just that they can’t even meet the bare minimum hence why we need to employ so many vetting strategies. It’s absolute BS. If they just stopped being so selfish, they would even have nice lives and relationships. Instead, they would rather use and abuse women, suffer shallow lives and then blame women for it. It’s insane. And so sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 03:42 AM |
| 3 | FDS angers Reddit at large, and that's how you know it works.Exactly. It’s sad, because women aren’t asking a lot - it’s just to be treated as a human being, not used and abused in any way, not cheated on, and respected. It’s not much! The vetting strategies we need to implement are for our own health and safety, and literal lives. It’s really sad the world has come to this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/12/21 01:19 AM |
| 27 | Basically they admit to everything FDS warns us about.Exactly. I just think there’s so many flakes out there that the bar is so low for men, so even just normal communication is seen as amazing by some women because they aren’t used to it. And he’s exploiting that. It’s just gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 02:54 PM |
| 130 | Basically they admit to everything FDS warns us about.The advice he gave isn’t good imo, because it’s telling fck boys how to hide themselves as decent guys. So it makes it easier for women to be played and harder for women to vet. He just goes through “steps” and doesn’t actually reference any sort of respect for women. He’s literally showing them how to use women’s vulnerabilities against them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 09:48 AM |
| 188 | Basically they admit to everything FDS warns us about.It’s so gross. I had an ex in his mid - late 30s that said Tommy Lee was a legend because he just does drugs and fcks heaps of women… and that my exes best mate was a legend as he’s slept with over 300 women. Like, ew. I had to nope out of there knowing this is what they glorify. It also comes across as really insecure to me? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 09:46 AM |
| 13 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateIt’s really gross! The woman I noticed him doing it with first off was older, maybe 55+ and didn’t look like she was trying to get any attention (not that people who look like they are deserve to be harassed), but she looked visibly uncomfortable and kept looking at me to look for my reaction I guess. It was so awkward. The next time I noticed it was with a young girl at a bar and he was gloating to me how she gave him the drinks for free (she didn’t, his mate had paid…) anyway, I could see the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 03:01 AM |
| 8 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrate😂😂😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 02:59 AM |
| 3 | Forced Female Bonding Over Kids Though ChildfreeI’m so sorry to hear of your experience, and thanks for sharing. People can be so selfish and cruel in some ways because they don’t think outside of their own little bubble and what other people may have experienced or be experiencing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 02:06 AM |
| 13 | Forced Female Bonding Over Kids Though ChildfreeThis is really interesting! And makes sense as to why when you’re in a discussion with a group of people, they seem to just parrot each other and no one actually says anything of substance. Then if someone does say something that adds to the conversation, no one knows how to respond and the person is often ignored. Probably also why it seems most people have a large friend group - but they don’t really go deep. They are just people they feel safe around as they’ve known them forever and usually … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 02:04 AM |
| 14 | Forced Female Bonding Over Kids Though ChildfreeYea, I found people would tell me I would change my mind around mid-30s. No. My feelings about not having kids just became more solidified… Edit: and I’ve been with multiple men who had baby fever (I think it was really more because they wanted to tie someone down and carry on their legacy - I could tell they would be the “fun” dad who was playful when home and would use the kid as a way to get attention from women irl and on social media, but would really just expect a stay at home mother to lo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:52 AM |
| 13 | Forced Female Bonding Over Kids Though ChildfreeYup. I’ve found that too! I think they get aggressive when sober lol, because they want to justify their own choices and almost force people into the same misery as them (not saying all married and have children are in misery) but I think the ones who are pushy generally are. The ones who are happy don’t wast time on changing your mind. Then when drunk, or their guard is down, the miserable ones will confess all these “what ifs” and being unhappy with their life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:47 AM |
| 3 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateMost have nothing going for them except their appearance - 😂 true. I personally disagree when people say women are beautiful and men are ugly/ boring/ unkept or whatever. I think half the time that’s playing into the patriarchal conditioning to objectify women. I personally also don’t come across that many unkept guys, most do have good levels of hygiene in my experience. So yep, I do find men attractive looking. Unfortunately it’s their values, attitudes and behaviours that let them down. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:30 AM |
| 32 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateAnd he got me two slices of pizza! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:22 AM |
| 13 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateYes, exactly! They even do it with men. Because they need to be liked and fawned after. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:20 AM |
| 27 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateExactly! I said something similar before I read your comment. I absolutely hate it when they call Middle Aged women “young lady” and then the women swoon. Like, it’s so patronising! What’s wrong with being older anyway. Sometimes I hate the way our society thinks. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:19 AM |
| 43 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateYour last comment - it doesn’t even sound like he was flirting! Yes. That’s exactly what I said above too (before I read your comment). I thought he sounded like he just wanted to be liked, but also I can see the salesman thing. I think she’s projecting her own desires onto him personally. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:09 AM |
| 39 | Bizarre pickme post in another subreddit: woman so excited that the office "hot guy" flirts with her that she goes out to celebrateYea I had the same thought. I also though… hmmm that guy doesn’t sound like he’s flirting with her, more “at” her. Like a typical narc that flirts with every women and man (in a different way) because he just wants to be liked and adored by everyone… I had an ex like that. It was embarrassing that he would flirt with waitresses and waiters when we went out - it got worse when he was drunk, he would sit there with his goofy smile and stare at them and talk in this cheeky baby voice, it was so biz… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 01:05 AM |
| 7 | And don't you ever forget it. Not ever.Yes! There’s a talk on YouTube by Professor Sam Vaknin (he’s a diagnosed narc/ psychopath who also works and studies in the field). Anyway, he talks about how women have exceeded men in many areas of life now and are opting out of relationships with men because abuse is so widespread (he said the abuse is a backlash to womens increased rights in education and work etc.) BUT that women are self objectifying more than ever and as a consequence are being used and abused more. That women have gone f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/12/21 12:58 AM |
| 22 | Don’t waste your time or energy debating about sex work to men and libfemsWow. That’s really sad and… weird. I’ve only encountered that when I did counselling years ago, with a guy who regularly cheated on his wife with prostitutes and said they all really liked him. Delusional. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 03:10 PM |
| 2 | I’m tired of sex work being promoted as the only other option if a woman can’t make money. It’s not that easy and it will ruin your future opportunities if you were to transition out of it.Yea, now I think about it - I think you’re right! It’s su k a sad state of affairs. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 02:13 PM |
| 6 | Going for a man you think is below you, only to have it backfire. Has anyone else dealt with this?Haha 😂 I have no idea, I assume he was actually cheating to be honest or had lined some vulnerable women up, so I think he moved onto them…though he’s just started popping up at places he knows I frequent, so trying to regain power 🙄 Glad you blocked yours though! Best way I think so you don’t know what’s happened with them. That’s what i prefer, but half expecting him to flaunt a new woman if he’s frequenting my spots again - whatever! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 02:12 PM |
| 11 | Going for a man you think is below you, only to have it backfire. Has anyone else dealt with this?Hahaha I think you’re describing my ex - so perhaps I inherited him after you levelled him up with his clothing, and then I quickly realised he was just an LVM in nice jeans, so I sent him packing too | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 10:35 AM |
| 12 | Going for a man you think is below you, only to have it backfire. Has anyone else dealt with this?That’s terrifying. Good on you for listening to your gut. As fluffandrainclouds said, you could’ve saved your life by following your instincts. This is why I think women should see therapists that understand domestic violence, even if the client has never experienced it. Abuse is just so wide spread these days that it’s important to have a therapist that understand the dangers women put themselves in (though even those therapists aren’t perfect). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 10:33 AM |
| 13 | Going for a man you think is below you, only to have it backfire. Has anyone else dealt with this?I’ve found this too. Even abuse counsellors who are clued in on abuse tactics, domestic violence, and were rad fem for the most part. They are in relationships themselves but I do think sometimes they are blind to what their partners may be really like (though I hope I’m wrong and they are with genuinely good men)… but when I’ve said to them at any time that I’m done dating, they will also push me to date and say i will get over it and will meet someone. But what if a woman doesn’t want to? I’ve… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 10:31 AM |
| 1 | Guy dumps his GF over not enthusiastically having oral and not doing anal, and gets hailed as an upstanding guy for doing this in the commentsUgh. You’re so right. BJs weren’t even seen as that common or a normal part of sex years ago. Now we are onto anal which is pretty much expected. What next. I hate to imagine. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 03:03 AM |
| 21 | I’m tired of sex work being promoted as the only other option if a woman can’t make money. It’s not that easy and it will ruin your future opportunities if you were to transition out of it.Exactly! Its also a pyramid scheme, so women / girls make money from recruiting other girls to do OF. So of course they will talk up how much money they make when they need to sell it to others so they can participate in their exploitation. No exploitation needed for Etsy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 02:55 AM |
| 79 | I’m tired of sex work being promoted as the only other option if a woman can’t make money. It’s not that easy and it will ruin your future opportunities if you were to transition out of it.We are going backwards. I watched a video of a psych who’s also been diagnosed as a narcissistic psychopath, talking about this. That women are excelling past men in most areas of life and are opting to be single, except for in the sex and relationships sphere where we have gone backwards. Women are self objectifying more than ever and have gone from being “sexual”, to being “sexy” for men. The rise in abuse and objectification of women has come as a backlash ti women having more success in the … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/12/21 02:39 AM |
| 3 | Have any of you ever known a man who initiated a split with his partner WITHOUT getting into a new relationship right away?So true. I have an ex that’s started creeping around again and basically stalking me at events but I haven’t caved to catch up with him again (obviously) and told him that I wasn’t interested. he asked me if I have a new guy lined up. Like, no. I just don’t want to put myself through hell on earth again with you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 05:51 PM |
| 2 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandYep 100%. When I met an exes friends for the first time (who he also told me had said negative things about me before they even met me - so I was already nervous), my bf ignored me the entire night and spent 4 hours talking to other guys and girls at the bar. Even had a quick dance with another girl… left me alone with his friends. When he came back, he stopped in front of me. Looked a woman up and down and licked his lips like he wanted to eat her. She wasn’t actually overly attractive (well ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:41 PM |
| 2 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandYea, the gaslighting! We always know when it’s a stare that’s too long to have just accidentally slipped at some point. Or when they are the type that constantly whip their head around because in their peripheral vision they see someone who may resemble a woman. Even if the look is only a second and they snap back, it’s still the fact that they are constantly looking for someone to ogle. It’s constantly on their mind! Not just like they had a quick two second glance at an attractive stranger who… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:32 PM |
| 1 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandI used to think it’s because I was paranoid and always just “looking out for it” until I realised that my friends husbands never did it… then I realised I spent way too much time with porn addicts. Glad you found a good one by the sounds of it! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandIt’s so gross when they ogle teens especially young ones, when they are much older. I went out with a guy who kept looking at a group of teen girls when we were at dinner - they looked like babies, maybe around 14/15 and were dressed up in ball gowns but they were the type that still looked very young and no developed areas. They were young enough to be his daughters. It was SO off putting. He also previously talked about a “friend” who used a certain tactic to attract really young girls, and I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:26 PM |
| 2 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandUgh that’s so gross! I’m so sorry. 12 is so freaking young. I mean even when girls are 18 they can still most times look like children, even if they have breasts, because their musculature and bone structure isn’t quite all set, so they can have that gangly teen look (not all, but a lot), as well as having obviously baby faces. Grown men should not be ogling teens like that. And especially not pre-pubescent kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:15 PM |
| 2 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandTo cause some sort of friction between you and a third party. For example, in this case to make you feel jealous or insecure around other women and therefore “earn” his approval harder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:12 PM |
| 1 | Pay Attention To Where His Eyes LandIt’s common in narcissists and other toxic people - it basically means to pit you against other women/ people so you work harder to prove your worth to the narcissist. It can be used to make you feel like people in their friend group or family hate you or go make you jealous. In the example above, it would be used to make you feel like you have to compete with the other women for his attention. Like there must be something better about her to grab his attention, so you feel insecure and chase af… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:11 PM |
| 2 | OLD Is just a waste of timeUgh of course he did 🙄 They really are so predictable, aren’t they (once we are out of their fog). Sounds like a typical narc, smearing your name before you even started to break up. So common and they do it in such insidious ways that people actually believe them. It’s crazy! Glad you sound positive though, after all that, and glad you found us here :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:06 PM |
| 2 | OLD Is just a waste of timeI’m so sorry you went through that. I hear stories of men still being on OLD when partnered, people say you can tell it’s a cheater profile as they don’t show their face. But I think often they do show their face, they just have a backup story in case anyone finds them on there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:23 PM |
| 8 | Be aware of “holiday daters” looking for an entertainment while on vacation.Oh gosh, yes. I had those but I also had a guy try to book me in for a date a particular night… I couldn’t do that night, so I suggested another night, turns out he was moving states the. Next. Day. My friend at the time was like “well what’s his point in seeing you? He must be really keen and doesn’t want to miss out…” … giiirlll haha. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 09:19 AM |
| 4 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthOmg I know. My ex learned to play the part in terms of taking me on dinner dates - but then ignored me the rest of the times going out with his mates (though he hated not knowing what I was doing and who I was with). Also on the dinner dates he would be too busy talking himself up about how all his friends love him so much, how so many women just love him and can’t get enough of him, everyone at work and all the bosses love him, how every recruiter is calling him for job opportunities, how smart… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 07:15 AM |
| 6 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthHahaha 🤣 and I really need to get started on the SATC reboot to see what everyone’s talking about lol. Not to mention quite a few gfs I need to catch up with for coffee, late brunches, and cocktail dinners, that I haven’t been able to do with working FT. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 07:11 AM |
| 7 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthExactly. I just detailed the beauty regime above before I read your comment. Even the guys who work in high paying jobs probably couldn’t afford that unless we are talking millionaires who work in property development or have businesses etc. not just your average high earning guy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 07:09 AM |
| 12 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouth100! Even if they do make good money (like in my area it’s easy for men to get high paid manual labour jobs), but it’s still not comparable to a millionaire a lot of the time - so they may pay for everything in terms of dates and grocery’s or bills. and occasionally buy gifts, but it’s still not the same. To have a trad wife they would also need to pay for all her skincare, and beauty treatments and gym membership, petrol, car maintenance etc. as well as all of the children’s schooling and other… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 07:07 AM |
| 21 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthExactly. If tables were turned, they would hate it. I tried this when I was younger and at uni, and the guys were spouting the eve-psychobabble about how men are naturally driven to want teens and lots of them (lol), and would never be happy with one woman. I said “just imagine, play devils advocate for a minute, that women said that stuff to you. How would you feel?” They just got furious and said “but that’s not how it is!” They literally couldn’t entertain even the thought for one minute, jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 07:00 AM |
| 23 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthSo true, if we were narcissistic we wouldn’t be able to self reflect in any real and meaningful way, or any long term way, without therapy. So true, narcissism is a buzz word but is also definitely on the rise unfortunately! Unfortunately narcs tend to project their own actions and thoughts onto others also, so tend to think everyone else around them is a narc and they are entitled to act how they wish. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 05:00 AM |
| 56 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthHahaha I love you humour in your first paragraph. You’re so right though, not beating you and not cheating are the most basic elements of a relationship (well they should be). But these men think they are one of a kind and deserve endless supply of women gagging for their D just because they don’t do those things. But also, they tend to want women to want to be in a relationship with them also. They can’t handle it when a woman doesn’t want a relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 04:51 AM |
| 36 | Another FDS hate post on the frontpage of LV males frothing at the mouthThis is so true. They see themselves as heroes if they have a big dick especially, and they project that way of thinking onto us. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 04:49 AM |
| 8 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?💯! Especially your last statement! I wonder if narcs have the same pang of regret ever for the “one that got away”. I doubt it if they are full blown or psychopathic, but I think so many men these days are on the spectrum so maybe those with some self awareness do. Either way, as you say, they devalue you if you stay… or if you go back | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 04:45 AM |
| 4 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Ugh. They know, don’t they. I look at that statement in a completely different way to how I used to now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 04:10 AM |
| 3 | Have any of you ever known a man who initiated a split with his partner WITHOUT getting into a new relationship right away?Only one potentially, but previously he did the monkey branching, so I can’t guarantee that he definitely didn’t have someone lined up. I know him like a brother and he’s a good guy but also still capable of being selfish and doesn’t self reflect as much as women do - he’s a lot better than most guys but can still easily justify his own shitty behaviours or ways of thinking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 02:57 AM |
| 43 | Tell the world you abuse women without telling the world you abuse women 🤫🤭Same! I had to push for nice dates, but they just punished me in other ways - nitpicking/ controlling every move I make, or going out all night and not returning messages/ leaving on read/ doing whatever they wanted. So even the nice dates weren’t worth it as I just came out emotionally traumatised. So many of my friends have the same experiences you outlined and women I’ve met outside of my close friendship groups too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:47 AM |
| 83 | Tell the world you abuse women without telling the world you abuse women 🤫🤭Exactly! The days of the hot and heavy make out session before are gone. They basically give women no choice also with how aggressive they are. Some guys I’ve first slept with literally hurt me during what I guess they thought was foreplay - like jamming their fingers in as hard as possible by getting into a position as if they were going to fist, it felt like being punched in the vagina lol. It was brutal. And then bruising on breasts and legs. Like, no… this is not how it goes, sir. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:36 AM |
| 98 | Tell the world you abuse women without telling the world you abuse women 🤫🤭Most of them do tend to “take control” these days anyway and don’t seem to like women doing other things. Because they are so primed to their porn that they just want women to be rag dolls to fuck in different positions - whether it’s starfish or doggy or cowgirl or whatever. They have to take control and jackhammer away because they are far too used to the stimulation from their hand. Plus, that’s what most of them do in porn anyway. Just wrangle and contort women into weird positions that they… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:35 AM |
| 195 | Tell the world you abuse women without telling the world you abuse women 🤫🤭So true! So they all quickly jump on his dick to show him they aren’t like every other woman. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/12/21 12:30 AM |
| 23 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?This makes me happy to read - you’ve managed to find a positive in all the negative and traumatic experiences. I had to laugh though, because the example you gave about the “little lies” turning into bigger ones… ending in him cheating with his ex - that happened to me too! (emotionally, not sure about physically). After I left, he didn’t realise I knew - but he was also trying to get back with me, whilst he was with her. Omg these narcs never cease to amaze. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 02:55 PM |
| 39 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Scary how they all use the same playbook, hey?! Only reason I know about it is from going through it too. Wouldn’t wish it on anyone! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 02:34 PM |
| 46 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Exactly! If you allow it, they just get worse (as I found out the hard way back in the day). Too many women think they can change him by staying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 02:12 PM |
| 47 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?💯! It’s such a shame that so many women listen to that garbage. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 02:11 PM |
| 157 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?This is so tragic and heartbreaking for these wives. I’ve mentioned a few times, I dated a guy who was always telling me how his mates say negative stuff about the wives (they are ugly or fat or lazy, not attracted to her anymore etc.) and he agreed with the guys (why I still dated him I don’t know lol). Anyway, it broke my heart that none of the women knew just how their husbands really spoke behind their backs! But it was all “love this beautiful woman!” On fb posts by the guys so they looked … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 02:07 PM |
| 31 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Exactly. And any relationship psychologist or counsellors worth their salt will also agree theres a healthy jealousy involved too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 01:58 PM |
| 90 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?So true. It’s so obvious when it happens. And if you don’t leave straight away it will get worse and they will either continue to devalue you and cheat on you, or discard you horribly. OR if you pull away emotionally in an attempt to leave, they will sense it and start love bombing you again to get you under control and devalue you all over again. It’s insane. If the love bombing doesn’t work, they will likely up the ante with devalue and discard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 01:57 PM |
| 68 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Same. I’ve experienced that too… I mean, other bigger things had happened before that, which I thought I held him to account on because I cOmMuNiCaTeD 🤡. But one particular night this guy was so obnoxious and condescending with so many little things, that I knew it was over then. It just became unforgivable at that point. Unfortunately by then I was scared to leave so I stayed a few more weeks, and he ignored me in front of his friends and spoke down to me in that tone again, and the next week I… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 01:55 PM |
| 89 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?This is so sad, my heart breaks for her because chances are he doesn’t actually treat her that well. On the other hand, you can also get the narcs who are able to mirror that loving look and may appear infatuated with their target in pictures or in public but really it’s all for show. It’s heartbreaking really. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 01:47 PM |
| 90 | Men will marry women who they don‘t love, find attractive or even hate. How does one even vet for this?Really well said. They do crack eventually, whether it’s at the 3 month or 6 month mark, and even in small ways such as suddenly taking hours to reply to texts (without good reason), or spending a lot more free time with friends than with you, or suddenly hardly spending any alone time with you and always just dragging you to their friends houses, triangulating you with other women, suddenly speaking to you in a condescending way and calling it a “joke”, going through the motions with dates etc.… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/12/21 01:43 PM |
| 14 | Don't fall for the "I was planning to/going to do xyz...for Christmas"Gross!!! I’m so sorry that happened to you. They are so predictable. The audacity knows no bounds. The fact he didn’t even thank you or acknowledge the gifts you gave him too! It makes me so mad reading thiS Goes to show also that when they get their “hot” 20 year old, they don’t treat her any better - they just see her as a mug to manipulate and devalue (went through similar relationshits also). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 11:51 PM |
| 23 | If he says he isn’t looking for a relationship he won’t change his mind even if you end up in a relationship with himIt’s actually terrifying how two faced they can be! That guy you knew was blatantly using that woman, and she had no idea by the sounds of it! Just like the women with the guys I spoke of - they all thought they had devoted and loving partners. It makes me sick to think how they will so brazenly use, abuse and discard women like they are nothing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 11:43 PM |
| 19 | AITA cringe age-gap but the comments are telling her to wake up, dump him, grow upExactly, I felt really bad for her! He was capitalising on her vulnerabilities. Luckily she left him though. I hope her life got better | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 11:30 PM |
| 37 | If he says he isn’t looking for a relationship he won’t change his mind even if you end up in a relationship with himThis is so important to point out. My ex was like this - I could tell he despised me, but yet didn’t want to let go of his control over me. We were only together a few months. But his mates constantly talked badly about their wives behind their backs - how ugly they were, and stupid, and fat etc. They didn’t do it in front of me as their masks didn’t drop in front of me, but they told him and he told me (because he was a narc himself and letting me in on what I would face if I stayed with him I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 04:07 PM |
| 30 | If he says he isn’t looking for a relationship he won’t change his mind even if you end up in a relationship with himYes. There’s so many of them around too. They know that women want marriage and kids so they will bring this up, and early. Even if he commits to you, he’s not necessarily really committed - having a live in girlfriend there making his meals, ready to give sex and attention when and if he wants it, is easy for him. As is being married and having kids - then he has his supply controlled for the rest of his life… doesn’t mean he wasn’t cheating the entire time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 04:00 PM |
| 3 | Don't Let A Man Waste Years Of Your Life Keeping You in the Forever Girlfriend RoleI agree. He looks so sleazy. I highly doubt he was faithful in those three years long distance. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 01:36 PM |
| 9 | As I was reading this... I was thinking "He must be significantly older than her." But she handled it perfectly. 💅 👑Exactly. Young enough to be his granddaughter. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:36 AM |
| 14 | As I was reading this... I was thinking "He must be significantly older than her." But she handled it perfectly. 💅 👑Exactly! My first thought. Why all the justification. They tell on themselves if you listen closely enough. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:34 AM |
| 31 | As I was reading this... I was thinking "He must be significantly older than her." But she handled it perfectly. 💅 👑This is true. I know it can sound dramatic, but just look at the cases where women go missing on trips. This was highlighted on another post that abusers will isolate victims. In my experience, men who go for women that much younger, are generally likely to be power hungry and abusers also. Unfortunately plenty of them in my family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:33 AM |
| 16 | As I was reading this... I was thinking "He must be significantly older than her." But she handled it perfectly. 💅 👑I know. I actually cracked up when I read that haha. My ex just bought a motorbike, so he’s flaunting that every chance he can get. Unfortunately he also bought the type that’s associated with mid-life crisis… these big bad men, with their big bad boats and bikes 😂 Such narcs. And if they didn’t borderline of sociopathy and have dangerous tendencies, I would almost feel sorry for them with their constant need for attention and validation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:30 AM |
| 48 | As I was reading this... I was thinking "He must be significantly older than her." But she handled it perfectly. 💅 👑Right?! That last line - they literally don’t care how attractive the girl is, just how young she is. I remember reading something about Johns and how they will not ask for the prettiest girl, but the youngest. The girls would also learn to say their age as being younger so they would finish faster. Sorry for tmi but it’s just really scary and gross. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:27 AM |
| 49 | AITA cringe age-gap but the comments are telling her to wake up, dump him, grow upYup. I knew a guy who also went to Indonesia after I broke up with him… turns out he’d been “talking” with a literal child over there while we were dating. I was only 20 myself, this girl was 18 (if that), not being rude to her but she was extremely tiny like a small 11/12 year old, no curves at all, braces etc. not to put women down who naturally look that way at all - it’s just, he clearly didn’t bond with her over her personality or common interests… I mean, she could barely speak English. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/12/21 07:09 AM |
| 14 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.I know, right?! Typical narc - I’m sure he just wants to get me back so HE can be the one to ditch me after a period of time, and after he’s used and abused me. Nope, sorry sir. Your time is well and truly up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 04:55 PM |
| 21 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.I stopped replying to his texts ages ago, because when I broke it off he didn’t want to talk, he just told me “fck you, you’re a b*tch” - despite him literally not responding to my texts or calls and leaving me on read for a full week hence why I broke it off… anyway, so he popped back up because I hadn’t blocked him (as he seemed to disappear initially), to send his condolences about someone I lost (he found out through a “mutual friend”). I replied initially but he got more entitled and starte… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 03:42 PM |
| 57 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.Ugh. Gross. And if they have a good job, a house and a car, they feel EXTRA entitled to their slave bang maid mother woman. They cannot handle when a woman, especially in her 30s, turns them down when they have that stuff. Because how dare she?! He’s entitled to her! They expect us to be desperate. Nah, I’d rather be alone. My ex had all of that, was charismatic cough - narcissistic and had a big D, but as soon as he treated me with disrespect and started blanking me, talking down to me etc. I w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 10:59 AM |
| 55 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.No truer words have been spoken than “it’s not hard to be labelled ‘difficult’ by men - just refuse to be treated subhuman.” Even recently I’ve had a guy who is married and has a sick kid hitting on me - when I found out, I wasn’t so nice to him, and of course now I’ve been labelled as the butch in the group. Whatever. I do not help men to cheat. Not sorry I hope more women wake up to this shit. Honestly on social media you would think these guys are angels! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 10:56 AM |
| 47 | Careful who you breed with. Man Repulsed by pregnant body. Will continue to be repulsed until it returns to “normal” This mentality is so common.Exactly. It’s actually disgusting how many of them want women to “breed” with, but then toss her aside when she’s pregnant and her body changes, or if not then, get resentful when the baby is born. Yet, they also don’t want single mothers? I’ve talked about this ex a few times lately, but he badly wanted kids (he was NOT father material though - on paper he was good but he was a party boy). Anyway, his best mate openly admitted he was only with his partner because he wanted a kid and he was gett… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/12/21 10:53 AM |
| 4 | Say no to community dick.Yep. One of the guys I dated in the past told me his best mate is only dating his gf because “he’s 40 and wants a kid to carry on his legacy and who else is going to want him.” He’s SO abusive to her and her baby. Honestly, it’s disgusting. But she’s so gaslit and confused and blames herself. She runs to my ex for “protection” and to talk her feelings out - but my ex just gloats like he’s the big man and then tells his mate everything she says anyway. He’s probably also banging her tbh - there w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 12:59 PM |
| 5 | Say no to community dick.Yep, I had one like that too. Yet, I couldn’t even so much as be in the same crowded room as another guy without him getting jealous, or even mention another guy in passing (like a totally benign story about work or family). Projection at its finest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 12:55 PM |
| 5 | Say no to community dick.Very true. But even if he has been in a long term relationship with any of them, still veg and don’t take it at face value - chances are depending on multiple other factors d they may have been cheating on her the whole time anyway | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 12:54 PM |
| 60 | Things like this are becoming more and more common. Squeeze in the wrong area of the neck and she easily could have gotten real brain damage (from the lack of oxygen). Be careful out there ladies.This brought me to tears. I feel so bad for the young women and girls out there’s these days. This is so similar to what happened with a narc I dated - he also laughed the next day and gaslit me saying “you told me to do it” and you know what? He gaslit me and hurt me in MANY other ways. This young woman’s friends are on the money - he is scary. They never talked about it. He didn’t have her consent (which shouldn’t fcking matter anyway - what does it tell you about the psychology of a man who L… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 07:36 AM |
| 9 | 'Body count': Do people count and what even matters?Wow, that does not surprise me - as soon as you said that he speculated your number must be high as your a feminist, I thought to myself “yep, he’s thinking of lib fem.” What you said after that is so true, the only things they took is what benefits them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/12/21 01:10 AM |
| 64 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultYes, exactly! Came here to say this. I literally just imagined how trapped she must feel - what can she do now that she’s carrying his baby? He’s in her life forever and he knows he has full control. This made me feel sick imagining being in her position. I really hope she will be ok. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:11 AM |
| 32 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at fault😂 thank you for your first line - legit made my day hahaha. Best comment. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:09 AM |
| 74 | OP asked for advice and naturally everyone gaslit her into thinking she was at faultWow. Least she got picked! The sheer arrogance of some people. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/12/21 09:08 AM |
| 6 | This is narcissistic abuse.Wow! That is insane. With your friend, it sounds like a guilty conscience or perhaps trying to get ahead and “cover” for himself, because he was paranoid he would get found out? Or maybe projection because he knew what he was doing so almost suspected her to be doing it too? What an absolute piece of work. I’m so glad she realised and that she ok. It’s so scary what some of these men are capable of - things you wouldn’t even think of usually. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 11:37 PM |
| 79 | This is narcissistic abuse.Yes!!! 100% they do wait until they isolate you. Look at poor Gabby Petito. And this isn’t a rare case. The ex I just wrote about a few comments above, I think could tell when I was planning to leave (as I was pulling away a bit), and he started love bombing me, calling me all the time (he never called me before) and trying to plan a holiday with me, which I refused to go on, I had to just make up excuses to bide my time before he left for work again. I knew in my bones that he would potentially… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:20 AM |
| 67 | This is narcissistic abuse.Wow this is absolutely terrifying!!! I am so glad she got out in the nick of time. Thank you for sharing also, because I think it’s hits differently when we read stories of other people/ other people who know people that have been through it, and just how dangerous it can get. We can easily downplay it when it’s ourselves. I had an ex who had a date rape drug and tried to sneak it into another drug we were both taking (he didn’t realise I saw him do it). When I saw this, I didn’t tell him but I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:14 AM |
| 126 | This is narcissistic abuse.100% agree. The narc/ psychopath (multiple counsellors and psychs said they felt he was one) that almost totally destroyed me in 6 months was like this. Terrible temper over literally made up things - if I didn’t smile enough, smiled the wrong way, didn’t do enough, did too much, wasn’t happy enough, then my jokes and happiness were wrong, couldn’t do enough for him or thank him enough or kiss his feet enough to make him happy. But I also stayed with a very similar and dangerous one for 5 years … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:09 AM |
| 38 | This is narcissistic abuse.Holy shit, this terrified me. He is a possible narc/ sociopath and she is in a full blown abusive relationship. You can FEEL the contempt he has for her in her words. This is dangerous and I feel he doesnt care if she lives or dies. He just wants full control. She needs to speak to a DV agency quick smart and devise a safety plan to get out as safely and quickly as possible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 02:07 AM |
| 16 | Friends that make questionable relationship decisions like this are LV. I don’t understand how the entire friend group KNOWS it’s disgusting and yet…no one steps up to call him out. Gross.Exactly! You explained that so well. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/12/21 01:54 AM |
| 35 | Friends that make questionable relationship decisions like this are LV. I don’t understand how the entire friend group KNOWS it’s disgusting and yet…no one steps up to call him out. Gross.Exactly! People say the age gap closes as you get older, which is does, but a 30 and 40 year old can still be worlds apart. It just terrifies me the dynamics of this relationship. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 11:21 PM |
| 58 | Friends that make questionable relationship decisions like this are LV. I don’t understand how the entire friend group KNOWS it’s disgusting and yet…no one steps up to call him out. Gross.So true. And not to be patronising to young people, but even 21 is just so young! Our brains aren’t even fully formed until 25, but I think that’s actually been said to be closer to 30 now. I know we can’t raise the age of consent to 30, but I feel like young women in their early 20s are taken advantage of too. There should be some kind of law that outlines age gaps for this group too. Not sure how that would work but just thinking if it were a perfect world. As a side note, we have a guy in our… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 11:18 PM |
| 2 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?Yea, so true - definitely no wanting to change the course of their lives. Typical having their cake and eating it too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 02:39 PM |
| 114 | How do you find out a guy’s dick size without sleeping with them?I miss the days of the hot and heavy make out sessions of the past!!! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 12:59 AM |
| 7 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?Yep, exactly, I was meaning traits. Same, I disagree with social media and the rise of selfies being a cause / sign of narcissism etc. I think it’s just part of the way the world is these days. But I do think social media in general, increases obsession with the self, and is also a hunting ground for narc…but I think it’s way more complex and there’s so many more factors that go into the apparent increase in lack of empathy of people these days. I feel like so much is for show also - like, there… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 12:58 AM |
| 7 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?I felt the same way too! Not sure what age you are, but one of my closest friends seems to think it’s the mid-30s bracket (for me). Guys are going through that almost ‘mid life crisis’ stage and needing to prop up their egos, because they’re questioning if they did the right thing settling down etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/12/21 12:52 AM |
| 18 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?Disgusting. I’m so glad you didn’t get back with him. Sorry to hear you endure that abuse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 08:12 AM |
| 41 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?Oh yea, it’s insane. Everything they do is to impress their bros. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 08:09 AM |
| 68 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?Sounds Sociopathic. For sure, he will abuse all women he dates the same way he did you. May lovebomb a bit longer to bait you here and there, and may use different tactics on her that are I guess “bespoke” to her, but all will have the same result. It’s maddening how much society won’t look at the facts, and if an abused woman talks out, not only with they not believe her and gaslight her, but also literally BLAME her, because she must’ve pushed him to that. Victim blaming us still rampant. My e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 08:08 AM |
| 33 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?This hits SO close to home. I’m so glad you got out! it’s actually terrifying to think they can be this calculated and nasty. Edit: and yes, they never think you will leave - straight from the horses mouth! Problem is, they are surprised when you do, so often will try ever Hoover tactic under the sun to get you under their control again, break you down, and discard you on their terms. You’re a strong woman for withstanding that. I don’t know you and I know my opinion doesn’t matter, but I’m prou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 07:52 AM |
| 46 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?So sorry you went through that. I had a similar situation a couple of times, especially with one and we were only together a short time, but boy, this double standard and gaslighting does a number on your mind and self esteem. So I can empathise and I’m so glad you’re out of there and you can see it for what it is now. It’s so easy to fall into the rabbit hole thinking it must’ve been you not being enough or doing something wrong, when you basically have their whole tribe gaslighting you even be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 07:50 AM |
| 37 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?This is a good point - they basically push their partners or wives to “change” due to their childish and controlling ways. So the woman often shrinks herself and runs herself into the ground trying to make him happy - and then he turns around saying she’s changed, when he’s basically beaten her into the ground! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 07:40 AM |
| 23 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?This is so true. Which in and of itself, is all pretty narcissistic and sociopathic - totally devoid of empathy. I have recently had multiple guys hitting on me through various hobby/ interest groups/ acquaintances… who I’ve found out to be married or in ltr. One has a sick child! It’s psychopathic they can do this with no thought. On the plus side, I also have some beautiful men in my friend group who wouldn’t dream of being like this. My sister’s partner being one of them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 07:39 AM |
| 108 | Why do men act so nice to other people but seem to hate their own wife and children?I agree. I’ve posted this before but there is a higher number of people who are on the spectrum of narcissism/ sociopathy now, and a lot of these are men (but yes, women can be narcs too of course). In 2006, it was estimated that 1 in 25 people were diagnosable sociopaths… and that was diagnosable, so not even including narcs or people on the spectrum… That was 15 years ago now, before the massive boom in social media, the internet in general, increasingly violent and pornographic media. Dr Les … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/12/21 07:30 AM |
| 15 | Men really have no shame - serial philanderer candidly admits his “escapades” during first dateSorry to hear you went through that! I’ve heard that narcissists/ sociopaths will often tell you this kind of thing as a shit test, to see where your boundaries are and what you will put up with. Been there done that, bought the t-shirt too 🙄 Dated a guy who said he once kind of cheated on his ex “we had been dating for 6 months and like we weren’t together, but still we kind of were and I slept with someone else, but I shouldn’t have.” And just his vibe when he said it, something didn’t sit rig… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/12/21 03:44 PM |
| 12 | Being sexually desired ≠ Being respectedOmg that’s so scary. But doesn’t surprise me. I’m sorry you went through that and I’m glad he’s soon to be ex husband. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 03:00 PM |
| 3 | The kids are gonna be alright! (Scroll for comments)Yea. I also wonder if it’s his attitude that’s making us more critical. I feel like it is. I mean, clearly he’s not 28 but he could still be attractive at whatever his real age is … if he wasn’t trying to game women like that still… like, cmon. That just ruins any attractiveness in my eyes. He’s just a slimeball. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 02:34 PM |
| 8 | The kids are gonna be alright! (Scroll for comments)My fave was “but sir, you are 65 years old.” I don’t know why, but that had me cackling. Something about the way I imagine someone saying it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 02:29 PM |
| 8 | NVM Ben Affleck blaming drinking problem on his marriage to Jennifer GarnerEw. I didn’t know about that. I really wish JLo didn’t get back with him. He’s just gone back to her because she’ll settle for his shit because no one else will. Well, I mean he can get some young naive girl who’s money and fame hungry - but JLo will pull his weight in terms of keeping him relevant, probably paying for things, and being that “strong woman” to keep him in line… except she won’t because he will just go behind her back again. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 02:26 PM |
| 5 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeOh yes! I forgot about that. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/12/21 01:07 AM |
| 11 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeThis is so true. I think you summed up Samantha well! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:27 AM |
| 53 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeYep! And basically took the blame for making their wedding too big and like a circus, so they got married at the registry office instead (which is fine if that’s what a couple wanted, but really, it was a case of a woman giving up her needs for a man). Oh, but not before she blamed Miranda after Miranda confessed to making an off the cuff remark to Big saying “you’re crazy to get married” when she was in the middle of a fight with Steve (after he had cheated)… like, as if it makes it ok for a ma… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:26 AM |
| 42 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeSo true. And Lundy Bancroft talks about this in his bible… I mean book (every woman should read!) He talks about how abusive men don’t necessarily come from abusive homes, a lot of the time they don’t, but will use this as an excuse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:23 AM |
| 30 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeYes! I just said above that Big was emotionally abusive toward Carrie, before I read your comment. I’m so sick of this “emotionally unavailable” BS giving men a free pass to act, as you said - abusive. More women need to see how the men treat them, rather than diagnosing why they treat them a certain way and putting up with it/ trying to fix. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:20 AM |
| 21 | Carrie & Mr. Big Show How Toxic "Endgame" Relationships Can BeReally?! I mean, I’ll admit I used to love the show - though I couldn’t stand the way they were pickmes for men, even Miranda at times who was supposed to be the strong one. But anyway, Mr Big?! Ugh I could not stand that man one bit. He was awful and emotionally abusive to Carrie. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/12/21 09:19 AM |
| 12 | If a man is this obsessed with slimness, he doesn’t deserve to have someone carry his child. He is also probably repulsed by pregnant women.Wow. So glad she left him! You know, it’s so true, it is seeming rarer to find women who want even one kid or are at least a lot more picky about who they partner up with. And I’m here for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/12/21 07:20 AM |
| 14 | The Realities of Age Gap RelationshipsThis is true. It’s so hard to break an addiction, because there’s so much that lies beneath. Often, the friends they keep are also addicted to something and have the same views and values in life which can be pretty unsavoury. If they do manage to get off their substance of choice, they will often move onto something else, like alcohol for example. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 02:24 AM |
| 119 | The Realities of Age Gap RelationshipsYep. Waiting for Leo now… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/12/21 02:20 AM |
| 22 | What are some early on signs he’s a cheater?Yes, this is true. My ex was like that. He sold drugs and loved that movie. He also touted how tommy Lee had the best life, doing drugs and fcking lots of random women. This man is mid 30s. It was about that time of the relationship I completely mentally checked out and noped the fck out of there shortly after that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:26 PM |
| 72 | What are some early on signs he’s a cheater?Yes! I had a guy who when I asked who’s party he was going to the next day, he suddenly got super weird and defensive without me even questioning (and for context, he had quite a few female friends that I never questioned and he had no reason to think I was jealous). But suddenly he went on this rant “ugh. I don’t even want to go. She’s a 40 year old loser wh*re. And it’s not even for her, it’s for her daughter. But ew I would never want her she’s 40 and washed up with three kids … and blah blah… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:22 PM |
| 30 | What are some early on signs he’s a cheater?The app thing is a big one imo. Though they also mute certain people on apps I’ve noticed… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:18 PM |
| 38 | What are some early on signs he’s a cheater?Omg. They really do tho k we are idiots. My friend and I used to joke about this, how we would see exes do it and they’d say something random like “oh I didn’t realise there was a fish and chip shop there” that they walk passed every day. But the pockets take the cake haha. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:17 PM |
| 1 | The insane shit men will lie aboutThis makes me so happy to read. I’ve never felt happier since I let these guys go, and properly let them go, as in healed my heart. So I can only hope it gets better and more like the life you’re living! Makes my heart happy to read you’ve come out the other end and you’re thriving too! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:12 PM |
| 2 | Serious question, do any of you not want to get married?So true. I agree. I think it’s possible to find one later in life, but yes, rare. Unless it’s just a couple that got together too long and grew apart. I’m all for supporting women with their dating lives on here, but tbh, I don’t put much energy into my own anymore because I just realised it was better to focus on other things at this point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/12/21 01:01 PM |
| 12 | Serious question, do any of you not want to get married?I don’t want to get married. He would have to be a serious HVM for me to change my mind - and I don’t think I will come across one in my mid-30s. They are all taken, lowlifes or cheaters from my experience. Or all 3 lol. I would do a ltr but again, would have to be pretty special. I’m finding men chasing more these days, and I think it’s just because idgaf. And honestly, they are more desperate to be married (without giving up their single lives, and still being able to cheat and talk bad about … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/12/21 05:32 AM |
| 2 | The insane shit men will lie aboutHaha until you said ex-motocross star I honestly thought maybe they were the same person. I can’t believe yours said that. They really are that delusional. Actually, I can believe it because it would be something my ex would brag about to. So odd. But there’s so many of them! No disrespect to the lady mine licked his lips at, but she also wasn’t stand out (maybe she was his type, not sure), but he also overly flirted with an elderly lady who was quite plain looking (not because she was elderly, … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 02:37 PM |
| 14 | The insane shit men will lie aboutIt’s called “Husband, Sociopath, Liar” - O.N Ward. I must get back into reading it again myself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 08:07 AM |
| 10 | The insane shit men will lie aboutYes, it’s so isolating! Especially when they are super charming and have a big group of (other weirdos usually, but also nice people) around them, who buy into their shit. They often get you sucked into their whirlwind - want you to meet their family and friends etc. and you see yours less. So their alternate reality becomes yours, and before you know it, you’re being smeared and isolated and controlled by everyone in that group. Makes me sick thinking about it. This guy has just reappeared in m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 08:05 AM |
| 7 | The insane shit men will lie aboutOh yuck. Yep. You reminded me, when I searched more into the daughters profile? I noticed he had liked a pic of her daughter and her in a bikini (but the daughter was more prominent) and he didn’t even know them then… so he was creeping through her profile. The mother wasn’t tagged in the pic either so it’s not like he liked it on the mothers profile. So the girl would’ve been underage at this point. His best mate always comments Creepy things on her profile too - I don’t know how the mother doe… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 08:02 AM |
| 7 | The insane shit men will lie aboutYes. So frustrating. Dr Les Carter has a video on the rise of personality disorders and reasons for this, including porn, violent media, instant gratification, and social media. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 07:53 AM |
| 12 | The insane shit men will lie aboutWow this is terrifying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:52 AM |
| 35 | The insane shit men will lie aboutVery true. This happens so often and I’ve been caught out multiple times, though my guy screamed they were lying at the time. Also, If they talk about something a “friend” did. It is often themselves they are talking about. I often suspected this with men I dated, and it became a louder gut signal as time went on. However, There’s a self aware narcissist Lee Hammock on SM/ YouTube, who talks about this. It serves a few purposes imo: - They get to play victim and get sympathy, the victim let’s th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:50 AM |
| 22 | The insane shit men will lie aboutYes! Great comment. You described the man I spoke about just above. His overly piercing eyes also came out specifically when asking pointed questions and wanting to know what I thought about a certain subject - for later manipulation. Smell the contempt for females - so true. Just see them as objects to use, abuse and manipulate. Always told about how he used fraudulent behaviour to get his job at work, get past drug tests. Or his “charm” to get one over women / bosses / colleagues. Or the way h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:44 AM |
| 57 | The insane shit men will lie aboutYep! One of my exes admitted to having GHB and said “date rape drug”… never said he used it and appeared to put it back into the cupboard. Later I could see him tinkering with things when he was mixing another drug. I wouldn’t take the drug and I didn’t know he had tried to mix the ghb. He said “what do you think I’m going to do, wait until you pass out and do something to you?” … Actually no, because I didn’t know he had the ghb, but he told on himself. He also talked about a “friend” who used … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:34 AM |
| 18 | The insane shit men will lie aboutYes! I’ve just been commenting all of this but came across your comment. 100% this is very dark stuff. And you’re right, these are on the rise. In 2006 they suspected 6% of the population were sociopaths. But this was 15 years ago now… Dr Les Carter, Psychotherapist who specialises in narcissism, and his brother is a Psychiatrist specialising in sociopathy in the criminal system, once said that approximately 80% of people these days are probably on the narc-sociopath/psychopathy spectrum, and 20… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:28 AM |
| 52 | The insane shit men will lie aboutExactly. This is sociopathic/ psychopathic level. I started reading a book about a woman who married a sociopath and the level of lies are along these lines. These people can be scary when they lose control. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:25 AM |
| 41 | The insane shit men will lie aboutI agree. One of my exes lied about being bashed on the head by an ex, with a hammer… then it changed to a frying pan… another time it was a shovel. I believed his lie the first time (but also thought, what did you do that was worse to her?) only as he was a boxer and had a real temper/ was controlling. He ended up being physically abusive to me when I grew some strength and I actually questioned him on things and caught him out on a lie. He also lied about having broken his neck when he was youn… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:24 AM |
| 35 | The insane shit men will lie about100%! I would say on the verge of psychopathic/ psychopathic tendencies! Absolutely crazy stuff. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 01:18 AM |
| 62 | CUT them at the first red flag , "if it wasn't illegal I'll hit you in the face" he saidSame. Every single time! Had an inkling someone would be a liar, party with the bros type, and a player, dropped him and chose another guy. I circled back around a year later and we got into a relationship. Turns out I was right. Same with the guy who I felt may be abusive. Yep, he ended up being a narc/ potential psychopath. Same with three guys who I thought were married / in Ltrs due to inconsistent contact, but I brushed it off as busy business men… nope. All of them were married/ in ltrs! D… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 12:47 AM |
| 25 | Compared to what women bring to the table, sadly money is really one of the very few things men have to offer 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️True. There are a lot of what we call “cashed up bogans” in my area, as the resources sector is huge over here. So men with no education/ quals (which is fine), make a lot of money - but it’s all relative to the next guy who also works in the resources sector and makes the same amount - which at the moment, anyone can. At the end of the day they wouldn’t earn that money anywhere else because they don’t actually have anything going for them. We just have a mass skill shortage. And even then, it’s… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 12:19 AM |
| 38 | Compared to what women bring to the table, sadly money is really one of the very few things men have to offer 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️This has been an accurate experience. Lately I’ve attracted men with good, stable jobs, they have a house etc. but no emotional intelligence at all, very controlling - sure, they will pay for everything but that entitles them to anything and everything they want, including having you when they want, how they want, and ignoring you when they want to be with their bros. Oh and the cheating. Yep, let’s not forget that. A few of my friends said I shouldn’t have left these men so quickly as they have… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/12/21 12:11 AM |
| 33 | Pursuing men never ends well from the women's perspectiveYes. Any mixed messages I have received from men, that in the old days enticed me to “chase” (and I did), or even after those days I was burned and just felt like I needed to chase because I was confused and thought / was told by others, that maybe he wasn’t sure of how I felt and maybe I needed to chase him a little… every. single. time. He was either in a LTR or married with children. They pursued me initially, then backed away when things got more real such as realising I wasn’t going to have… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 03:40 PM |
| 26 | The Lennie DefenseExactly. I spoke to a few relationship counsellors about this - they were not afraid to say “why would you want to be with someone who is turned on by hurting you/ a woman, whether it’s consensual or not…?” They make a good point. Multiple have said that a man choking a woman, even during sex, is 7 times more likely to kill his partner in a domestic partnership. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, even in so many true crime cases, serial killers or men who kill once, often have a history or fasci… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/12/21 01:00 AM |
| 13 | Grace Millane - Murdered by her Tinder date - This is why we vet ruthlesslyYep! I did this before, obviously before fds. I just randomly got the creeps about the guy and bolted. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 03:11 PM |
| 10 | Grace Millane - Murdered by her Tinder date - This is why we vet ruthlessly“It feels like being a fish surrounded by sharks.” This feels so accurate. Even if not trying to actively date, it’s so easy to somehow get pushed or pulled into some negative scenario. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/12/21 03:09 PM |
| 7 | My milkshakes bring HVM to the yard!I think it’s usually in how they bring up their friends. Are the always talking about partying “with the boys” etc. and how do they talk about their boys? The boy’s partners/ wives etc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 04:00 PM |
| 11 | My milkshakes bring HVM to the yard!Yes, i agree. It’s good when they have good, close friendships. But when they are always talking about “the boys” and going out with “the boys”. Especially when it’s usually centred around partying, then omg run. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 03:59 PM |
| 12 | Straight from the horse’s mouth: men who ask you to hook up with them literally only want you for sex. These comments were in response to a woman who was complaining about the audacity men on Tinder have in asking her if she “wants to fuck”Exactly. Also, I think it’s important to note that these guys aren’t the types that will be good partners for anyone. Honestly, chances are they put all women into this category because they just see women as objects. So even if they came across a “dream girl” who they think would have endless hours of convo with to sleep with her, chances are they wouldn’t. And also, even if they did, they won’t suddenly treat her better than anyone else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/11/21 04:14 AM |
| 5 | Former supermodel Paulina Porizkova talks about life as an older woman.Yes! Glad you bought up the “wife goggles” I feel that’s just a way to scare women into quickly finding a man before she’s “unfuckable” ... but really, if he’s a man that only values conventional looks then she’s just going to be thrown in the pile too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/11/21 01:15 AM |
| 46 | Spotted in another thread. She needs FDS!Yea, I think you’re right. Narcissism and Sociopathy are on the rise. In 2006 it was estimated 1 in 25 people were sociopaths, and 6% were narcissists. I think it’s a lot higher now, considering it’s all on a spectrum too. Dr Les Carter, a psychologist who specialises in narcissism on YouTube has quoted that it appears 80% of people are somewhere on the spectrum of narcissism and 20% of people would be considered “healthy”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/11/21 08:27 AM |
| 71 | When FDS Theory actually makes it in socmed: building a man doesn’t help you cement the relationship you want. Scary how many likes this post got-I know. It’s the same logic as “I wouldn’t mind if she cheated/ went to strippers/ watched porn of men with massive dicks” - because they know what they are doing or would do and don’t want to come across as hypocritical. It’s like justifying the actions that they know they’re going to take. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/10/21 02:48 AM |
| 3 | Bachelor Party And Strip ClubsThis last paragraph broke my heart. Not only was she severely disrespected by her husband and her brother, and no doubt made fun of behind her back, but her life was also taken. I feel so bad for her and her brother just sounds disgusting. Brothers should be there to protect their sisters from cheating and abusive men. Also, yes. Don’t underestimate “bro code” in my experience. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/10/21 02:44 PM |
| 2 | This post will probably be removed.You can still comment and are encouraged to - comments just get removed by automod, then mods will go through and approve comments manually (as I can see most of yours have been, though some haven’t been). Sometimes when there’s a flood or spike in comments, mods may not be able to get to all comments to review and approve, however after a while will assign a flair. The more comments you make the more likely you’ll get a flair faster as mods can vet easier and also comments are more likely to be… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/10/21 05:41 PM |
| 5 | Scrote father goes to dinner with his daughter, enjoys insinuation that he’s dating her 🤮Exactly. I think Lundy Bancroft covers this in a short section in his book ‘Why Does He Do That?’ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 03:35 PM |
| 2 | FDS is featured on JezebelAs long as she got picked! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 03:03 PM |
| 2 | Scrote chases woman down an alley hollering and saying “come here” aggressively. Proceeds to call the woman racist for being scared, along with “dumb bitch” a few times.I’m so sorry you experienced that. Even if he wasn’t growling at you that would be terrifying. I’ve had a similar thing happen to me at that time in the morning with a man coming up to talk to me, but less threatening than what you described, and it still terrified me being alone and knowing how vulnerable I was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 02:30 PM |
| 3 | Scrote chases woman down an alley hollering and saying “come here” aggressively. Proceeds to call the woman racist for being scared, along with “dumb bitch” a few times.Exactly. They are watching more porn than ever and have more sexual access to women than ever (as well as access to more women sexually), even if not legal - yet there seems to be increasing aggression and violence towards women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 02:14 PM |
| 2 | Your intuition as a woman is more powerful than you realiseWow that’s incredible. Albeit sad that you found out such disgusting things about your relationships. But you certainly seemed tuned into your intuition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 02:06 PM |
| 3 | This is so sad and scary. We are not safe anywhere. Not even our own homes 😔.Holy cow this was terrifying. My heart is still thumping hard after watching that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/10/21 01:42 PM |
| 10 | If he wants an*l sex from you, chances are that he has the potential to be, or is, abusiveYes exactly, good riddance! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 12:25 PM |
| 22 | The amount of hate former porn actresses receive for speaking out is interesting to say the least…Fucking hell. That’s straight up victim blaming. No different to telling a woman in a DV relationship that she must’ve done something to deserve it or she needs to take accountability for her actions in trusting her partner not to abuser her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 11:31 AM |
| 30 | The amount of hate former porn actresses receive for speaking out is interesting to say the least…Yep. The only pitting older women against younger women BS. And then the younger women understandably listen, then have to learn the hard way once they’re spit out the other end - even within months because a new “fresh” girl came onto the scene. Then she either learns and understands that those older women were looking out for her, or she stays on the treadmill forever trying to be what the men want, wasting her precious time, energy, money and life. Is heartbreaking, | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 11:24 AM |
| 61 | If he wants an*l sex from you, chances are that he has the potential to be, or is, abusiveThat’s do awful! What a loser. Pressuring her, she does it, and then he complains about it and basically humiliates and degrades her. So glad he’s your ex and I hope no other woman gets caught up with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 10:16 AM |
| 3 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Exactly! She was proud of it too :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 12:14 AM |
| 2 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Hahaha too true 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/10/21 12:13 AM |
| 31 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsExactly! They only show their true colours when you stand up for yourself and they realise they can’t control you (which is more likely to happen faster with more mature women) or if they think they have full control over you. That’s why it’s so important for women to have rock solid self esteem - though I know it’s easier said than done! I totally agree, I hope less young women waste their youth on these predators. I’m glad I only wasted a couple of years overall. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:33 PM |
| 14 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsExactly. No matter what his reason is - how could you get over this level of disrespect and complete lack of care for her feelings? I mean, even if it was him acting in a narcissistic way due to some perceived slight - like you say, no thanks! And if she forgives him for this, he will just push the disrespect even further in future. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:30 PM |
| 14 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsSo sorry you went through that. It makes total sense you would feel used! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:29 PM |
| 19 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsI had a similar experience. I had an ex tell me he has no empathy (then said he can feel empathy towards some people). He also said he thinks he’s a sociopath. Was never diagnosed but honestly I started to think that too and a few therapists said he sounded like a narc or possible psychopath. I think some of them are very aware of their negative traits - some will admit it. Others will try and hide it for their whole lives. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:24 PM |
| 3 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsThis is so true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:22 PM |
| 86 | She asked her partner of 6 years out on their first date. He confessed to her that he was unattracted to her for 2 yearsThey treat women like that regardless. I was 20 and dating 30+ men that treated me that way once they got me. The only reason they may appear to treat younger women better on the surface is because they can usually pull the wool over her eyes more easily (due to less life experience). So on the surface they are “caring, sweet, loving” to the young ones but laughing behind her back at her stupidity (ask me how I know)... They may also treat women in their 30s like rubbish IF she comes across as d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 03:11 PM |
| 37 | If someone tells you that men are picky show them this!What were you thinking?! Clearly you were out of your mind that day turning an offer like that down. Crazy woman. /s | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:58 PM |
| 29 | After all these years he realizes at 57. So all those men realize this when they get old snd deserves appreciation for it? Instead they should have realized at their youth and keep his partner comfortable and loved?! Such a wasteYep. This is what I thought. It reeked of what my father has done to my mother her whole life. One year he bought her a diamond necklace for her birthday and he said similar things to this man and shed a tear. He went right back to his old ways a few days after and he got the praise from outsiders of how wonderful a husband he is - and she’s been forever indebted to him for that necklace. She’s left him now and he still blames her for the marriage dissolving, even though he was abusive in every … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 02:05 PM |
| 7 | As requested: Discussion about professions to avoid dating summarized into relevant conclusionsWow really?! I recently found out a woman I knows husband is a lawyer - they’re about to have a baby, and I found out he also deals. From the outside you would think they have the perfect relationship and life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 01:54 PM |
| 18 | As requested: Discussion about professions to avoid dating summarized into relevant conclusionsYes so true about the musicians - I’ve found that especially with the vocalists haha. Constantly need that attention and love to play cat and mouse games ... narcs, like you say. Setting dynamics up so they can try and get you chase them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 01:52 PM |
| 34 | As requested: Discussion about professions to avoid dating summarized into relevant conclusionsYes so true. This is also the same for miners and those in oil and gas - they are known for going to strippers and cheating. They literally lead double lives. And the ones who work on the rigs may not get as much access to strippers or even female colleagues, but they generally party NON stop when they’re home and will at least solicit porn from other women they are talking to. Edit: also the same as in they are always away from home and likely to buy sex. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 01:49 PM |
| 30 | As requested: Discussion about professions to avoid dating summarized into relevant conclusionsYea exactly. I’m slightly involved in the local music scene in my area and you can tell a difference between the guys who actually love the music and the ones who just want to look cool and get ego strokes from women (or sex). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 01:47 PM |
| 79 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:This. It’s so true. People forget that just because you find a partner, doesn’t mean they will actually be around for ever. Most women do end up outliving their spouses and end up dying alone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 06:18 AM |
| 104 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Exactly. If you manage to find a good one, they can enrich your life. But it’s hard to find a good one, and most will therefore detract. Sure, you can get someone to help around the house with handy man stuff, and it might save you some money - but how much will you be indebted for those favours? It’s never done for free... most times it’s held over your head for the rest of your life with them. I’ve even found that with relatives. I actually knew a woman who slept with a guy off tinder in order… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 06:15 AM |
| 54 | So, how’s it going these days now that you have to make women like you to get their interest? Men:Wow imagine. Women actually wanting other things in her life besides a relationship ... who would’ve thought they were humans with thoughts, dreams, and aspirations of their own! Shock, horror - aren’t they supposed to be just objects to look pretty, have sex on, birth babies, and cook and clean for men?! How dare they, those absolute bitches! / sarcasm | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 05:43 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-inThat sounds good - best of luck with it, I hope it all goes well for you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/10/21 05:40 AM |
| 43 | A man who loves you should be able to explain what he loves about you SPECIFICALLY. It’s a red flag if he is generic about your qualitiesYes, this! I was dating a guy for 5 months and all he could say was “you’re hot, sexy and attractive. You’re a ten.” - cool, so literally he just talked about the way I looked in 4 different ways. Nothing else. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 02:13 AM |
| 26 | MYTH: Marriage is NOT hard. The media should stop glamorizing their abusive relationship.It’s crazy how common this really is. But then the women don’t want to really admit it to themselves and so they still marry the guy :/ | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 01:34 AM |
| 109 | MYTH: Marriage is NOT hard. The media should stop glamorizing their abusive relationship.Exactly! Also narcissistic much? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 01:29 AM |
| 64 | MYTH: Marriage is NOT hard. The media should stop glamorizing their abusive relationship.Yea, apparently the way he broke up with her was pretty brutal. I think he was going on a trip and basically wanted to sleep with heaps of girls on the trip. So broke up with her when he was at the airport, over the phone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/10/21 01:29 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Check-inSorry to hear this! I’ve found it really hard of bumble bff. What’s helped for me is doing things I like to do and meeting people that way. Also meeting people on Facebook and meetup groups has been more successful - and just being quite consistent with following up to see them. Even if you have to be the initial instigator. For example, I started with a vegan girls fb group and also going to music gigs I like and also hikes. I’ve met a few people that way and messaged the people I clicked with … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/10/21 01:49 AM |
| 25 | Excuse me?Yea that was what I thought too. After I thought about how he’s literally stealing the babies food. Then I was like, is he trying to slowly harm the baby by starving him because he’s jealous?! Or is he just that dumb that he doesn’t realise a baby needs food... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:56 AM |
| 48 | Excuse me?Yep that was my first thought - I would be concerned that the baby has been being fed enough and getting enough nutrients if I was in her position. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/10/21 09:53 AM |
| 2 | We are taught that dating and life in general is easier for conventionally attractive women. I think they have it worse.I watch this diagnoses narcissist on YouTube, and he talks about how narcissists will intentionally treat their more attractive partners worse. Literally so they can bring their self esteem down and make themselves feel more powerful. I’ve always heard people say that men do this, but to hear it from a narcissist, it just really cemented it more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 03:08 PM |
| 2 | A Self Healing Post - Understand why you may be attracted to certain men - or why the bond feels so strongThat’s so great you’re in therapy and glad to have to here posting! It’s so hard, trauma definitely plays a huge role in who we attract, and who we allow to stay around us for way too long. But unfortunately I do also think it’s just so hard to find decent people these days, especially men. At least you’re on the right track for healing and finding these good ones. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 02:43 PM |
| 2 | In my LV days, I was using breakups and blocks the wrong wayI really relate to this. I honestly think too many therapists are not schooled in abuse dynamics and the effects on victims. Too many of them go into attachment theory (which has its place, but is not complete without taking into account so many other factors of psychology and personality and society and culture etc.) I see my gfs try and work on their issues with bfs who go missing or with abusers who are making them jealous on purpose, and they internalise it as a “them” issue after the therap… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 02:39 PM |
| 15 | TEA ☕️: If a guy has a small dick, he WILL very likely (try) to cheat.Yes, exactly. This is what I experienced and the guys both had massive ones. Buuut were overall insecure, well, one was a narc. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/09/21 11:30 AM |
| 67 | Why it Never Works When Forever Gf Finally Gets the RingI noticed a few people mentioned Cassie and Diddy, so I looked them up. There’s a 17 year old age gap between them. More evidence to show that even when men get the “hot young thing” they still aren’t happy and won’t put a ring on it. He just strung her along and wasted her time... I also noticed she’s now married to a guy who’s 7 years her junior - again, showing how a woman’s still perfectly desirable in her 30s, to even men in their 20s. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/09/21 01:21 PM |
| 12 | Men are becoming aware of women's anti pornography stances and are using it to manipulate women.Yea, I always get wary when men volunteer that type of information out of the blue. I remember one of the guys I dated saying “men who beat women are fucked” - but yet his mates always talked about smashing their gfs faces in and he even made a comment he wanted to bash one of his mates gfs (who he was actually really close to... she would run to his house for safety from his mate ... who was beating her). I left him because I could see the two faced-ness he was treating her with. I actually thi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 02:48 PM |
| 1 | We are taught that dating and life in general is easier for conventionally attractive women. I think they have it worse.I think this is actually a thing - they resent you for being more conventionally attractive. There’s a guy on YouTube and TikTok who is a diagnosed narcissist in therapy, and shares his way of thinking. He did a video on this the other day saying a narcissist will intentionally bring their partner down and make them feel unattractive if they are more conventionally attractive. Especially if that person gets attention for it or they’re confident in it. Same with if you go out and people like you … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 02:41 PM |
| 8 | Men are becoming aware of women's anti pornography stances and are using it to manipulate women.Yes. I agree with this - trust your intuition and don’t get swept away by a guy that is happy to wait. Vet in other ways too and observe. As you mention, he may be hiding an ED issue... or he may be sleeping with multiple other women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 02:28 PM |
| 41 | Man baby and forever gfI feel exactly the same way. My heart goes out to his live-in girlfriend. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 02:02 PM |
| 128 | Man baby and forever gfJust another case of a narcissist 🙄 No conscience, no remorse, lies, double standards. There just seems to be so many narcs out there now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 02:01 PM |
| 16 | Open communication doesn't seem to be a thing anymoreThis is so accurate. They are willing to put some effort in initially to get that free escort hooked. Then once she’s on the line, they do the bait and switch and expect her to keep coming over and doing more for free. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 09:54 AM |
| 10 | Open communication doesn't seem to be a thing anymoreThis is why it’s so important for women to band together and demand better treatment, rather than acquiescing to men all the time. The bar is in hell. It’s so frustrating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/09/21 09:49 AM |
| 17 | I'm on my second solo vacation and it's really hard to imagine anyone topping the way I treat myself. Also, disgusted with the men I observe.Good on you for recognising the side of you that felt slighted for feeling overlooked. But you’re right, it’s better to be overlooked than objectified. What so many women don’t understand is that being perved on like that, doesn’t mean the men love or respect you. They just want to hump you like a dog... but they won’t be happy or faithful, they will literally jump on the next shiny new toy that comes into view, whether she’s objectively “better” or not. They’re never happy with what they have w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 03:22 PM |
| 29 | I'm on my second solo vacation and it's really hard to imagine anyone topping the way I treat myself. Also, disgusted with the men I observe.Yea, it’s gross. It’s like they’re constantly living in a Porn video game where the aim is to check out everyone vaguely resembling a woman. Like Pokémon go or something. It’s weird. Like they’ve never seen a woman before. I’ve always hated it and also always noticed other men checking out other women (or myself) when with their partners. And had boyfriends who always had to look at every woman and practically give themselves whiplash in the process. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 03:19 PM |
| 8 | Everyone's talking about Gabby Petito. But they're having the wrong conversation, experts say.Oh I totally get the frustration and it’s baffled me forever, but that’s the closest I could ever come up with, and same for the few friends that are open to discussing it (one who happens to be a man). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 12:46 PM |
| 14 | Everyone's talking about Gabby Petito. But they're having the wrong conversation, experts say.Ugh. It’s so disheartening and enraging. Because more women are put in danger and narcissistic abusers are more easily able to twist situations, increasingly the likelihood that women are blamed for their own abuse or are accused of being the abusers. It completely ignores the underlying imbalance of power and control which is at the core of domestic violence. Additionally, it increases the stigma against mental health issues and people who suffer from them. Or more accurately, women’s mental he… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 12:45 PM |
| 84 | Everyone's talking about Gabby Petito. But they're having the wrong conversation, experts say.Agreed. I think women also firstly, can’t admit to themselves just how important male validation is to them, therefore, bring up “women abuse tooo!” at any chance they get. Secondly, I think so many of them don’t want to see the similarities between the abusers and their own male partners/ sons/ uncles/ fathers etc. especially their own partner or son. They also want to feel they have more control than they really do, therefore imagining these women who fall victim as being the perpetrator or th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 10:02 AM |
| 27 | Weekly FDS Check-InThat’s scary! Even without the extra context, a therapist should take that into account. I mean, that’s basically a threat to harm you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 09:49 AM |
| 21 | Update: I posted here a few days ago about a longtime male (now ex) friend in his 30’s randomly sexualizing my 13 yo daughter (check my post history for more details). Many of you prophecized that he would say “it was just a joke”. And well, received this from a mutual friend tonight.Exactly. More often than not children are assaulted by people known to the family. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/09/21 07:29 AM |
| 7 | Be Wary of Male Therapists / PsychsI always thought that would be the case for me, but I’ve had MULTIPLE therapist agree with my no Porn stance, and that it’s very normal for a woman not to want Porn as part of her relationship with a man. I only started to own 10 or so years ago when a therapist pointed out to me it was unhealthy - and now many have (I’m also talking about counselling hotlines that I used when I was desperate for support and couldn’t get into a therapist). One was also a very liberal psych, who actually didn’t h… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 21/09/21 03:25 PM |
| 13 | Gabby PetitoIt really is infuriating and heartbreaking. Thanks for your comment and I really hope survivors of domestic violence at the hands of men do continue to speak out in solidarity. We can’t afford to have Gabby’s story twisted and distorted so much that it leads to more narcissistic abusers having their victim narrative believed and being protected more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 02:43 PM |
| 19 | Gabby PetitoRinging very similar bells to the Chris Watts case - his whole family treating him like he’s some angel | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 02:38 PM |
| 1 | Normalize narcing. Women deserve to know who they’re married to.I once told one of my ex boyfriends sister that her boyfriend was hitting on me. This was when I was in the process of leaving my ex (he was violent and psychologically abusive). Still surprised to this day that she agreed her brother was out of line with abusing me and she actually believed me about her boyfriend and left him. I was 18 at the time and she was 23. So sometimes it can go the right way! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 02:27 PM |
| 1 | Normalize narcing. Women deserve to know who they’re married to.Yea, my father used to work in a fifo role in the mines and he told me never date a fifo worker - most of them cheat with the strippers that are available or they all have a “work girlfriend” and bro code keeps it separate from the wives at home. So sad. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 02:24 PM |
| 2 | If he needs space from the relationship, it's a no.You deserve to be a priority. There’s nothing more lonely than when a man you’re in a relationship keeps choosing his mates over you. It’ll only get worse also. Good on you for leaving. You deserve so much more than that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 02:11 PM |
| 124 | 22 year old Gabbie Petito’s remains have been found after being missing for weeksExactly. Those who have been through it, know the signs. Except for the women still stuck in their own cycle of abuse and can’t face reality or those who have never been through it... or men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/09/21 01:02 PM |
| 3 | Be careful about helping "disabled" men!(potential trigger warning!)Yes! This book is on my reading list - just wish it was available on audible. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 12:36 PM |
| 4 | The Top 10 Professions With the Most PsychopathsI’ve heard this a lot. I met a military guy on tinder a few years back and he chased me for 18 months. I saw him 8 or so times then told him I just wanted to be friends (because he was very unclear about what he wanted from me and gave mixed messages and I found someone else in that time). Then suddenly he latched on - for 18 months. As “friends” but always pushing the boundaries. And always made objectifying comments about women. Anyway, 6 months later he admits he has “anger issues” and took i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 12:21 PM |
| 3 | "It's ok if he cheats on me, my bills are getting paid." And other pick-me mom comments.Well said. This is all too common. He will become more abusive or obvious in his abuse when he had a new supply, or turn physically abusive or murder. It’s happened many times. Or if not, somehow twist the narrative so the wife is the abusive one and he sought help from the mistress/es. When an ex of mine started being horribly abusive my mother said to me “sorry, he must have someone else if he’s treating you like this.” Of course he did. Plus he was dealing drugs unbeknownst to me, so had endl… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 12:11 PM |
| 3 | Be careful about helping "disabled" men!(potential trigger warning!)Exactly. It always has to be about something about the man that’s “alpha” that gets the woman and her fault for being shallow or something (e.g. his looks or wallet) so that men can twist it and put some heroic spin on it. When really, it’s just because these men cough monsters cough are manipulative fucks and playing on women’s vulnerabilities to take advantage - in Ted Bundy’s case, in the most heinous way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/09/21 12:00 PM |
| 59 | "Should I really vet for the rest of my life?? That seems excessive and too much work!" Yes, sis, yes you shouldThe risk of not vetting, and just settling, is far too high. It can cost a woman her mental and physical health, her financial health, her spiritual health and even her life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 11:39 AM |
| 265 | Be careful about helping "disabled" men!(potential trigger warning!)Yep, came here to say this as this was my first thought. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 04:41 AM |
| 34 | So we all know that men can’t stop talking about themselves, so I wanted to ask you ladies..So true, I think it’s actually quite a bit higher now and that stat was more of a guesstimate. Add to that the spectrum of narcissism... according to Dr Les Carter (an expert on narcissism and his brother is a psychiatrist or psychologist who treats sociopathic men in prison), it’s approximately 80% of the population are unhealthy (so on the cluster b spectrum somewhere - severity ranges), and so approximately 20% of people are actually “healthy” and can feel empathy and self reflect etc... we r… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 03:04 AM |
| 3 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimAh yes, that’s right! Thanks for digging that up :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 01:16 AM |
| 3 | Why are so many men obsessed with teenage girls?I hope so, I don’t have relations to anything to do with any of those people anymore and didn’t actually know the girls. I just knew the men (aka predators) and removed myself from that group. The girls were older teens, but it’s still harmful when they have a pickme mother who exposes them to these types of men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/09/21 01:14 AM |
| 7 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimSo glad you made it out of that relationship alive. Unfortunately, they love to goad their victims into hurting themselves, especially if they are highly narcissistic/ psychopathic. I’m so sorry you had to go through that but I’m glad you’re here to tell your story. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:42 PM |
| 9 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the Victim💯! I was with an abuser once who I think could sense I was slipping away from him, and suddenly he ramped up his love bombing and wanted me to go camping to this island with him. No way. This was a guy who proudly showed off that he had date rape drug and later joked about why wouldn’t drink my cocktail or smoke the joint he rolled (and sneakily put in extra substances) “was I afraid he was going to wait until I pass out and do something to me”. That’s when I realised I had to get out. So, I wou… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:40 PM |
| 18 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimAt least women are actually seeing it. There’s been a long history of women not seeing it themselves and automatically jumping in to defend the abuser. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:35 PM |
| 5 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimUgh that’s what I was worried about. And I’m worried that this is going to blow up into some sort of DV against men awareness campaign. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:30 PM |
| 12 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimThat was terrifying. I’m pretty sure you did. It’s hard when it’s our own trauma and experience to really see and believe it, maybe as a survival instinct, but honestly, my heart was thumping reading your story. I could understand so well the way he seemed increasingly irritable, as I had a situation where I also felt one of my ex abusers was trying to injure me throughout a particular night, and I was dodging all of his bullets. I think your instincts are on point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:28 PM |
| 6 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimWhat you wrote is so true, well said. Cases like this really do put things into perspective - because if they discard you, it’s truly devastating, but the reality is they can and will kill you and get away with it if that’s what they want to do. Same with if you try to leave and they want to regain that power over you. You realised that being discarded, while so painful, is actually the safest way to get out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:11 PM |
| 3 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimExactly! 100%. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:07 PM |
| 5 | All Women Should Watch This: How a LV, Violent Scrote Can Gaslight People (and You) into Believing He's the VictimIn the book “look what you made me do” by Jess Hill, she talks about a particular country that has a female only police force dedicated to domestic violence call outs. I can’t remember where it is, I would have to flick through the book again, but apparently it’s quite successful. It’s been a while since I read the book and I kind of glossed over that section as I was more interested in abuser tactics at the time, but I’ll have a look through again and see if I can find the part that talks about… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 02:02 PM |
| 13 | Why are so many men obsessed with teenage girls?Ugh. It breaks my heart that this is a thing. I went out with a guy who was “friends” with a woman a few years older than him, and I believe it was because him and his group of mates were trying to get access to the teenage girls she had. The mother thought it was that the boys just liked her and saw her as “one of the boys” even though they talked absolute trash behind her back... yet they still kept her around... I don’t talk to these people anymore obviously, but I remember Looking through th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/09/21 01:31 PM |
| 3 | 100%Exactly. And women actually believe they just “watch” at these bachelor parties (as if that’s not bad enough anyway). But so many women don’t understand that “this last night of freedom” means actually cheating. I’ve heard countless stories from men at work and in outer circles where they or their friends have cheated at bachelor parties and the wife is none the wiser. She just thinks he had an “innocent” perv on a stripper and maybe a lap dance... as if even that’s ok. Ugh. Gosh. This woman has… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 04:23 PM |
| 1 | What are some of the reddest red flags you’ve ever seen on a date or during a relationship?Wow it’s actually like we dated the same guy! He really does sound like a narc for sure, the more you’ve explained. And yep, mine also put on the sweet nice guy act around friends kids - I actually think he was sleeping with his best friends gf (his best friend was like a malignant narc, incredibly abusive) and he knew he could ramp it up because she was stuck with him and the kid. I think she will end up with my ex as her saviour which is scary because he was also very abusive to me (no one saw… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/09/21 12:38 AM |
| 3 | What are some of the reddest red flags you’ve ever seen on a date or during a relationship?Sounds like a narc I dated - always flirted with waitresses, young or old, and verged on being too friendly with male waiters or bar staff. Would walk around the bars when we were out and pretty much ignore me, but talk to everyone in the room - just trying to get attention. He was that attention hungry he would get it from anyone, anywhere, anytime. Couldn’t handle not being the centre of attention. He would also try and triangulate me as that would give him extra fuel, but it rarely worked (on… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 09:35 AM |
| 15 | They’re telling her it’s “just a game”Yes, I dated a guy who pushed the boundaries anally with me also when I was passed out (in and out but too weak to say no). He knew it was out of bounds anyway as he had asked me throughout the times we were dating, so he knew I was incapacitated and could get away with it. I had injuries that bled and hurt when going to the bathroom for a couple of months after that, so I still don’t know to this day what he actually did (except that I could feel something when I came into consciousness but pas… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 05:19 AM |
| 17 | They’re telling her it’s “just a game”This is true. I once dated a guy who showed off to me he had GHB (I didn’t know what it was), and he proudly said it was date rape drug. He tried to sneak it into a drink and joint he made me. He didn’t know I saw him put this stuff in and said to me “what are you worried about, that I’ll wait until you pass out and do something to you?” This guy then “joked” about how he spiked me drinks a few weeks later (yep I still dated him for a while as I was too scared to leave). This shit is never a jok… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/09/21 05:15 AM |
| 24 | Don’t be fooled by pickmes who seem to attract a bunch of menOh yep “drinks with the boys” - I saw a woman like that, and she thinks she’s got a friend in them, but “the boys” are constantly trashing her and her two teen/20 year old daughters behind her back. I’m sure the boys are just using her for sex and potential access to the daughters too (who also have kids of their own). They don’t have any male role models in their family and always talk on social media about how strong they are as women - yet they can’t see the predators they’ve attached themsel… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 04:07 PM |
| 41 | "Exclusive" is not a relationship status. You are either in a committed relationship or singleExactly! And to add to this - don’t fall into the trap of thinking he will magically change and become exclusive with the “dream girl”. I find that to be a way of victim blaming in the manosphere, basically saying you weren’t good enough, but the next one is. Even if he does become someone’s boyfriend, it may just be that his “dream girl” is the type that will put up with all his emotional abuse, be ok with him being out with the guys all weekend every weekend, be ok with inconsistencies, ok wit… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 03:07 PM |
| 53 | "Exclusive" is not a relationship status. You are either in a committed relationship or singleOh yep. They love getting jealous of what you’re doing and like you say, even mentioning another man, but will be either sleeping with someone else or keeping their options open to do so, without being labelled a cheat. It’s disgusting. So sorry you went through that. Great post. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 03:02 PM |
| 17 | "Exclusive" is not a relationship status. You are either in a committed relationship or singleOr at least they’re trying to/ keeping their options open in case an opportunity arises. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 03:00 PM |
| 35 | I saw his fiancéeIt will fail, his mask will slip. The only way that it’ll last is if her self esteem is brought down so much by him, but hopefully it won’t be, and even if it is, it sounds like she won’t put up with him either. I know how frustrating it is to see them move on and especially with someone out of their league again. But you’re one step ahead of him, at least that’s not you tied to him! Be assured he hasn’t changed as you can see. Also, can I just say, you are such a kind hearted and graceful woman… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 02:36 PM |
| 6 | Reminder: Men will lie about anything, including their sexuality!I’m starting to think it’s actually fairly common for this to be a thing with men. Not anything wrong with being bi or gay, but I’ve just come across this kind of thing a few times. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 06:31 AM |
| 4 | Nicki Minaj's Husband Pleads Guilty for Failing to Register as a Sex OffenderThis is is true. Emotionally, my most abusive boyfriend of 5 years, and one that closely resembled him of 6 months are the “loves of my life” to me. I adored them. The trauma bond is so strong even 5 plus years later. But logically, I know it’s just the trauma bond. But it’s honestly a really difficult thing to break - even when you have no contact with them. Edit: there was a book I read recently where women who have been abused by psychopaths, even after they leave as they know logically they … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/09/21 06:26 AM |
| 101 | I hate how "similar" men on OLD platforms areOmfg you literally just named the exact two profiles I would come across also. To a tee hahaha, the group pub photos and the “not my child, just niece” and “no you can’t steal my dog” hahaha cracked me up. SO true. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 02:59 PM |
| 38 | I hate how "similar" men on OLD platforms areThese types don’t grow up. I briefly dated a guy who bought a big house and made sure he was in with the neighbours because they were going to have to get used to his loud parties every night when he’s back from work (he worked fly in fly out)... he was 37. And yep, on his weeks off all he did literally was drink and drug, watch sports and party. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 02:57 PM |
| 1 | Trauma Bonding - why you need to seek therapy before you date againInteresting, I’m trying EMDR with my therapist in a few weeks - she’s experimenting in a new area and I’m her guinea pig (willingly!) as she wants to see if it helps in other areas besides trauma. I’m looking forward to it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 04:44 AM |
| 3 | Wishy washy scrote that earns 6 figures asked me over to his house for "pizza" and I left him on read. He did this for 3 days in a row and he eventually gave up. A reminder for the ladies here not to correlate high earning with high value.It really is. I think sometimes, or oftentimes, they are trying to see what they can get away with, especially if they are 30+ or maybe even 25+. Thy are shit testing your boundaries, or just lazy, or just are used to getting sex on wheels from women. It’s very dangerous. I was violently assaulted by a guy I went around to his house on a second date. It didn’t cause physical injuries but it terrified me. We were in bed, but hadn’t started fooling around yet. But he suddenly violently grabbed my … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 04:37 AM |
| 2 | [A LOVE LETTER] Thank you all for helping me escape my batterer.You’re amazing. As a survivor of DV multiple times, this made me so happy to read, and I really hope you know how strong you are to have left. There’s still a long road ahead but you’ve taken the most important and terrifying step. I’m so happy things are looking up for you already and FDS made an impact on you in such a positive way. Also glad that the haters are the ones that brought you here. You’re stronger than you know - thank you for sharing your story, because you never know how many oth… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 11/09/21 04:24 AM |
| 3 | Men use the evolutionary psychology argument as a tool to prevent societal changeProblem is, they’ve completely twisted and perverted what evolutionary psychology is actually about also. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 10:22 AM |
| 8 | Following hot girls on instagram - red flag?I had an ex who followed a few of these “normal” types in revealing pics - turns out they were from dating apps. When I asked him who they were, if he was honest and we could have a conversation about it and he deleted them I would be ok with that (as he didn’t follow influencer types). However, he lied and dodged the question three times until the forth when I really pushed it and he admitted they were from tinder. So yes, be wary of those ones too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 10:09 AM |
| 11 | Following hot girls on instagram - red flag?It seems so hard to find these types, but it is possible. My best guy friend has no social media. Where did you meet yours? | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 10:04 AM |
| 168 | Can we talk about Leonardo DiCaprio?This sounds really predatory and sadistic - how humiliating and degrading for those women. It’s like he’s trying to degrade and devalue them. I actually wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a lot more we don’t know about him ... I’m sensing Weinstein vibes in some ways. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/09/21 09:16 AM |
| 101 | "All ages considered!"😂 I don’t know why, but this really cracked me up. Same, though. Same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 02:54 PM |
| 6 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.Yea totally agree, we shouldn’t base our lives around it and it shouldn’t be such a big thing. But I tend to agree with you, there will be something in the not too distant future. I mean, already there’s new treatments coming out all the time. What is it they say? “You’re not ugly, you’re just poor.” - it’s a crass statement, and I wouldn’t call anyone physically ugly really! But if goes to show how if you have the money (and time), you really can keep your appearance more “youthful.” I can get … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 08:14 AM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Check-inGood on you for recognising the coercive control - what kinds of things would he do? When you say he wasn’t enjoyable in bed, what was it that made it unenjoyable? Also, it’s very common when ending a relationship to romanticise the good parts and forget about the abusive parts. It’s great he was present and texted back right away - these are good things. But when a partner is coercive they can also be bad things, and can actually escalate in future to being more about “who Tf are you with/ what… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 06:31 AM |
| 11 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.Exactly! 🤗 so sorry you’ve been through so much too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 06:28 AM |
| 14 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.“Modern beauty treatments” haha love them honestly. As long as you have money, you’ll be fine imo... oh and as long as we don’t over do it. But not that I think women should do cosmetic things as the pressure shouldn’t be there, but I personally love it. It makes me feel more confident, at work and just in general, even though I’m not dating. Also, good on you for creating the life you have so far! Thanks for sharing and I’m so here for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 03:25 AM |
| 41 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.This is SO true. I had a couple of relationships at 20/21 in my so called “prime” with men over 30. Guess what? They didn’t treasure me or fawn over me or love me at all. They did to my face occasionally to keep me hooked - but they were still lying, cheating, drug and porn addicts. Those addictions didn’t stop just because they bagged a “hot” 21 year old. The number of nights I lay in bed being jealous over exes they still obsessed over (older than me) that they would go and pick up from the ci… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 03:21 AM |
| 59 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.Agree with this completely. My 20s were a mess of depression and anxiety caused by trauma and also men adding to that trauma. Lost 11 years from when I was 17 to violent and controlling, actually terrifying relationships. Healed from them and finally felt good at 31 - my career took off, almost doubled my income within 6 months, paid off my car, bought my own home, and still building and saving now in my mid-30s. I look better in my 30s than 20s (thanks to not obsessively under or over eating/ e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 03:13 AM |
| 81 | Destroy the concept that your teen years are supposed to be fun and once you hit 25, you’re old and it’s over. Some of us had to heal from trauma during our teen years and our 20s (30s, 40s, 50s and so on) and would like to begin a good life without constantly being told it’s too late.Exactly. Especially if you come from a broken home and don’t have a father in your life. Or you’re a single mother at that age. Prime picking. I removed myself a while ago from the most disgusting group once I realised these 30+ men were literally doing that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/09/21 02:59 AM |
| 54 | Four years for choking her during sex. This is not okay.It’s absolute BS. Even when consensual how come it’s mainly women who are violently assaulted and murdered during “kinky” sex. I’m sick of “sexologists” and certain relationship counsellors saying this stuff is ok and normal if consensual. No, it’s not. Any psychologist who is worth their weight in gold, knows that there is issues with control/ sadism/ anger towards women with men who like to do this, and 90% of the time, trauma in the woman’s history who says she likes it. And trauma can also c… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/21 11:06 AM |
| 25 | Four years for choking her during sex. This is not okay.Also, brain damage can occur from just a few minutes of choking. I had an ex who choked me to the point of bruising and he laughed and said “ooops” when I told him to never do it again. Then preceded to gaslight me with a stupid smirk on his face saying I ask him to do it. He was adamant I did. No I fcking did not!!! Anyway, after speaking with counsellors, they advised usually they get women to get medical attention if they’ve been choked to the point of bruising, because brain damage can occur… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/21 10:45 AM |
| 40 | Four years for choking her during sex. This is not okay.We are literally encouraging a generation of narcissistic psychopaths. Too many men go straight for the rough bdsm, the choking, slapping, suffocation, on the rise because of porn. There’s this saying that “they do it because they think women like it, because they do in porn.” - no. I don’t believe that for a second. That’s gaslighting and letting these men off the hook! They do it because THEY have desensitised their brain to levels where they enjoy hurting women during sex - sadism. Part of th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/09/21 10:43 AM |
| 116 | When he says he needs at least ten years to think if I’m “the one” for him. 😂🤡Yea, really good point! Or they will finally marry the woman after the 10-15 years because they’ve effectively done enough shit tests and worn her self esteem and reality down so much with gaslighting, that she will accept anything, just be happy to get a ring and be “taken”, while he still indulges in his addictions that get progressively worse over time. And also, don’t be hard on yourself, I (and probably others), on here have dated the same guy. I even knew of some of the addictions, and to … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 02:08 PM |
| 155 | When he says he needs at least ten years to think if I’m “the one” for him. 😂🤡Exactly. It happens all too often. Though it’s such a waste of life, it’s going to be a waste for the next woman too - he only bagged her quickly I’m guessing, because he realised he didnt have as many options as he initially thought. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 11:19 AM |
| 684 | When he says he needs at least ten years to think if I’m “the one” for him. 😂🤡Omg. And honestly. I think men like this never grow up and never actually find anyone that they love “enough” to do that with. They just realise they’re running out of options and get desperate, because even their “dream girl” is too real in the end as they realise she’s actually a human. They don’t change. This poor woman must’ve been devastated but good on her for kicking him out. I really hope she got herself a guy who appreciates her and she ended up getting married and having kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/09/21 11:12 AM |
| 9 | Unlearning my perception of pubic hair.Wow dodged a bullet. Not only with the likely porn addiction but control issues and jealousy when you weren’t even together anymore - like, by then it’s none of his business who you may or may not be fcking. Creep. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 12:28 PM |
| 9 | Unlearning my perception of pubic hair.Yea, I had a therapist mention about how it’s so strange that young women are expected to remove all their hair now - she’s in her 40s also, and it was just foreign to her that it’s a thing now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/09/21 12:24 PM |
| 7 | Does it ever just make you sad how much women will put up with?Exactly. This is so sad. I know. Girl who is only 25 and has DVT from the pill... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/21 01:49 PM |
| 21 | If he needs space from the relationship, it's a no.Couldn’t agree more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/21 12:46 PM |
| 76 | If he needs space from the relationship, it's a no.I love your energy! Good on you! That takes a strong woman to do that. Thanks for sharing your story. I think it’s important for others to read as it’s all too common. I have a friend I’ve met recently, who never wanted children but had them because she thought she met the love of her life and he really wanted them... he left her 15 years later for someone else. She’s honestly one of the best women I’ve ever met, I just love her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/09/21 12:40 PM |
| 16 | Aileen Wuornos is often compared to Ted Bundy and Jeffrey Dahmer in terms of the heinous nature of their crimes. That’s because of cultural misogyny, victim-blaming, and legitimate hatred of women.Great post, and I agree, I’ve been researching this case in the last few months too. And while it doesn’t excuse what she did, I can understand after all that trauma, plus being put in danger by those John’s. No way would I classify her as a serial killer, like the male ones. She was deeply hurt and damaged. I actually have a lot of empathy for her. What a horrible life to have lived. She didn’t abuse or kill people in general or in a predatory way, like male serial killers and rapists, she real… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/08/21 01:58 PM |
| 4 | Why are the comments saying this is cute?!Exactly! It’s very different. You can see the hatred in his eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/08/21 03:45 AM |
| 3 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Its awful isn’t it! I know, I feel bad saying someone wasn’t that attractive too, but not that it would make it ok if she was! It just goes to show how it’s about THEM and not the woman. I understand that regret, I wish I didn’t walk out too. But we live and learn :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:46 PM |
| 7 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Yep! And an LVM may help but you’ll be forever indebted. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:36 PM |
| 5 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Yes yes yes!!! I keep commenting but I dated a guy like this (my comments are above with more detail). He would even do it with men. My guess is your ex was also a narc and getting supply from them - seeing them as “less than” because they are in a service role and then flattering them so they would act giddy (hopefully) and he would be in charge and her supply. I noticed so many of them got visibly angry with him and seemed uncomfortable. He only seems to attract narc like friends and very desp… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:35 PM |
| 5 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Haha men would say they wouldn’t care but they would absolutely HATE it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:32 PM |
| 6 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Ugh sorry you went through that. I had similar experiences (as I’ve mentioned above in the thread), I initially attributed it to him being insecure but nope - just a typical narc sociopath. And I say sociopath because he had NO empathy. Nada. Nope. None. He could occasionally fake it at the beginning, but saw toward the end he had no fear, no stress response, no feelings, chronic boredom which resulted in severe drug and alcohol use, constant partying, and yea probably constant cheating. These a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:31 PM |
| 4 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Yes yes yes! And not just waitresses but any woman who enters the restaurant or vicinity - he has to have a good look at. I once called a guy out on it and he did it MORE. That’s how I knew he was intentionally triangulating (I only called him out because of months of gaslighting and jealousy games and triangulation before which eventually took its toll - long story). Like, fine, a quick glance here and there at an attractive person once in a while. Even better if it’s not noticeable and they ca… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:25 PM |
| 7 | Actions don't lie, how does he react in these situations?Yes! Glad you mentioned this. Also being overly friendly could be a demonstration of a narc. It’s in the book “how to be a narcissists nightmare” and honestly I noticed this with a guy I dated, and thought it was super weird - he was SO obviously flirting with a much older lady (and not that older is unattractive, because there’s plenty of older attractive women, but she also wasn’t conventionally attractive and didn’t seem to emphasise her looks). He was leaning in and gazing up at her and maki… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:17 PM |
| 4 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.💯 I agree! Bro code and all that. They all give each other alibis. I knew a guy who’s fiancé found a hotel charge on his credit card - she figured he was cheating. He said it was for a friend who was cheating but wouldn’t tell her the name of said friend. Guarantee it was actually him. And if not, how sad to throw away a 15 year relationship to cover for a friend. Oh and yep, only engaged after 15 years ... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 01:03 PM |
| 9 | Why are the comments saying this is cute?!I tend to agree. The only reason I have the slightest bit of hope is because one of my closest friends is a guy who is genuinely lovely and soft hearted and sees the misogyny. But I think he’s one of the few left in our generation (millennials). I’ve seen a couple of people here and there who I think must have doting partners but when I look deeper or see the men out and about on their own, I realise all is not what it seems. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 10:02 AM |
| 2 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Ewww wtf!!! They are so depraved. I don’t know why I’m surprised half the time when I read this stuff, but for some reason I still am. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 10:00 AM |
| 1 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.I really wish I could, but we have no contact now unfortunately. She’s well and truly been gaslighted by the whole crowd. I hope she finds me again and starts to figure things out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/08/21 09:59 AM |
| 13 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.I’m so sorry you went through that! They always do ramp up their abuse and can get physically violent when you’re close to the truth - I found that out myself the hard way. I’m glad you told your story though too, I think more women need to know that just because he was in a 7/10/15 year relationship does not mean he was faithful! It’s not a given green flag for commitment. Even if he was married. Ah, so sad we have to look into things so much. I honestly couldn’t be bothered with it anymore. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 01:15 PM |
| 126 | Holy shit. I finally did it.Wow i did not even know this was a tactic. It’s like a narc handbook basically. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 01:08 PM |
| 30 | Why are the comments saying this is cute?!Exactly! Someone said they are British and that’s how we joke - in British and that can be true, but then you would also see a softened face and eyes, and something to soften the joke. This is just contempt. You can see it in his eyes. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:59 PM |
| 30 | Why are the comments saying this is cute?!💯 I’ve really noticed the contempt that a lot of men have for their partners these days. Narcs and sociopaths are well on the rise. It makes me sick. But it is really heartening when you do see a lovely couple in love - it’s just quite rare these days. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:56 PM |
| 7 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Sigh. I literally just told a story above about a guy tricking a woman for her womb. He treats her like shit. But she’s so enmeshed in his friends group and thinks they all love her (they all bitch behind her back), I know because I dated his best mate who seemed to be close to her and support her when his best mate was abusive which I thought was nice, but when the mask slipped I realised he also hated her and was using her for narc supply (because she doted on this best friend), and also he wo… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:42 PM |
| 14 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Oh yes. Dark triad personalities, good call bringing this up. And I also mentioned earlier, just because they have been in long term relationships, doesn’t mean they weren’t fuckboys back then - the poor ex partner probably just didn’t know what was going on. I’ve pieced this together in a few relationships I saw that others would’ve thought were solid. If he was a party boy, going on constant overseas boys trips and bachelors with strippers etc. he was a fuckboy. And even worse, a habitual chea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:32 PM |
| 28 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Exactly! I wish more women would band together instead of being gaslit that they are insecure or crazy for having standards. It takes some real guts to stand up and say “no, I, and women in general, deserve better.” I’m sick of these free passes men get. Especially when there’s no solid scientific evidence to even back up any BS theory that sex is inherently different for men and women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:27 PM |
| 21 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Exactly. This is often what happens and chances are he would probably physically cheat when out if he could (I don’t want to upset you by saying he did, I’ve just had this happen myself). Anyway. These party boys don’t change. Also goes to show how you were 20 years younger than him and it still wasn’t enough to keep him faithful and sexually fulfilled - another trope men like to say about how they need a younger woman or naturally want them blah blah blah. I had a similar experience when I was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:18 PM |
| 48 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Exactly. Also, watch out for the ones who were in a long term relationship but were party animals and were always going on boys trips - chances are, even in their ltr they weren’t monogamous. They just happened to find a woman trusting and vulnerable enough to believe they were. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:13 PM |
| 45 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.I think the key here though is that he worked on himself - there may have been a catalyst, there usually is for change, but he had to do the work. And he had to lose a person and be hurt before he really did level up and change. Now you get to reap the benefits so that’s a positive. It’s not that people can’t change. It’s that they won’t change for a particular person. It sounds like the hurt he experienced was a catalyst to change. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:10 PM |
| 33 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Yes yes yes!!! This is why I hate the “dreamgirl” trope too. He is who he is. He may pretend for a while or for longer, or in different ways for a “dreamgirl” (which might I add could change at the drop of a hat for any man once he gets bored... or also could just mean a doormat)... he. Will. Not. Change. For. Anyone. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:05 PM |
| 45 | Can men who engage in hook up culture/casual sex, turn around and happily commit to long term monogamous relationships without cheating/hall passes/porn addiction etc.Yes. Unfortunately I’ve seen a recent example of this. This gorgeous woman in her 30s with a kid, has shacked up with a “former” fckboy because he is a tradie and has a nice house, and does the sweet talk. He’s almost 40. He negs her all the time about how no one else would want her with her being in her 30s with a child, and he’s basically just using her because he’s brow beaten her into submission, he talks down to her all the time and she thinks he’s god’s gift as she has no real friends or f… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/08/21 12:00 PM |
| 29 | Psychologist ScroteOmg exactly! Demean her, talk down to her like she’s stupid in front of friends, don’t want to spend any quality time with her, don’t actually care about how she is or if he’s hurt her feelings with the way he ogles other women, or just generally criticises and ignores her - then they wonder why she doesn’t feel sexual. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/08/21 09:38 AM |
| 8 | Paedophilia is NOT a "sexual preference". It is an inherent disorder/retardation of psychosexual development that invariably calls for institutionalization.Exactly. It’s terrifying. This was always such a huge reason why I didn’t want to have kids. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/08/21 09:31 AM |
| 36 | Sex work is not empowering. It’s exploitation and the men know it. Sorted comments via controversial and got all of these replies.Exactly. Plus porn has been shown numerous times to be harmful to relationships and a betrayal of trust. If someone doesn’t want to give up Porn for a relationship, fine, don’t be in the relationship (and this is ignoring the ethical issues, which are also important, but for arguments sake I’m concentrating on relationship harms). Porn has been shown to increase the likelihood of objectification if women, for watchers to be less satisfied with their partners looks, for watches to experience ED i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 04:34 PM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-inI really hope it does :( sorry to hear you’re feeling this way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/08/21 08:39 AM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Check-inSuch a great answer | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 09:45 AM |
| 17 | Weekly FDS Check-inYes 100% - also, the rate of mother or baby death in teens and young women in early 20s is much higher, so it doesn’t even make evolutionary sense. Let alone, men forget their sperm quality decreases after 35 also, which is the same timeline as women. The evo psychobabble makes absolutely no sense at all. But they hate to hear it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 09:44 AM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Check-inThis. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 09:41 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Check-inAw bless, I’ve been in this position before. I’m not sure If you’re the same as me but I sometimes have gotten over this by watching something sad about animals or children, and that starts the ball rolling. Or otherwise, writing or thinking about everything that’s happened in my life and imagining it as someone else, sometimes strikes up empathy in me that I wouldn’t usually have for myself but seem to have for others. Otherwise is there a relationships hotline you can talk to in your state or … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 09:38 AM |
| 3 | I am so glad I was banned from this sub-reddit so I don’t have to see clownery like this anymore!Oh yea smart thinking ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 04:35 AM |
| 37 | I am so glad I was banned from this sub-reddit so I don’t have to see clownery like this anymore!There’s so much I don’t know about social media - wouldn’t it show “unknown instagram user” or something like that if you deactivate it? Or would it just not show up at all? So that’s how he probably got around it by having a different name and blocking her and her friends so, so when he goes to search for his own account it just doesn’t show up? And if she searches from friends accounts etc. as he’s blocked them too it just won’t show up? Or maybe he created a new account and followed all the w… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/08/21 04:33 AM |
| 2 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Omg! Hahaha love it! What a clown 🤡 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/08/21 02:04 AM |
| 4 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Yea, same - it makes me laugh also because they try harder. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 13/08/21 04:17 AM |
| 11 | This is what LVM do to women…they break and push them to the point of suicide. Can we help this woman?That was my first thought too. I’ve seen it happen unfortunately. This is so so so heartbreaking. I wish I could help her, but I know nothing will bring her dog back and the heartache from that alone is unbearable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:29 PM |
| 24 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Exactly, that’s the response we should have! I feel sorry for the women/ girls who have fallen for the jealousy games. They really are creeps are predators. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:25 PM |
| 25 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Holy shit that is terrifying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:08 PM |
| 42 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Bingo. I learned that lesson far too late. Well, I didn’t actually send them to the guy, I just continued to date him and he proved himself to be a lying, cheating, perverted, two faced abusive narcissist. So basically, yea - even asking is a red flag for a whole host of reasons. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:05 PM |
| 41 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!Yep, I hate that whole “women are just Sexier than men” trope. Like, no, if you’re attracted to men then men are sexier. I’m not taking into account that women tend to look after themselves more. Also not bagging women who are genuinely lesbian or bi of course. But there’s many women who are not attracted to women, but will peddle this faux lesbianism because they are trying to get male validation or they literally just spout what they’ve seen the media and society say to them so are so removed … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 03:02 PM |
| 43 | Don't send nudes to friend-turned hookups!!I agree with the below, maybe a lesbian fetish, but maybe also hoping to incite jealousy and competitiveness in you, so that maybe you would send him some and do even more than her. Also, probably his narcissism showing off like he’s a king for duping some poor girl. These men make me sick. I’m so sick of this shit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/08/21 02:59 PM |
| 100 | In shock. A post about a woman finding violent fantasies on her bfs accountsYes, exactly! I’m so sick of how men get a free pass for their “fantasies”. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/08/21 12:49 PM |
| 7 | LVMs be likeThank you! 👏🏻 finally, someone said it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 05/08/21 04:08 PM |
| 4 | “Becoming a Narcissists Nightmare” - Shahida ArabiOh Damn, I got it on audible | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/21 02:03 PM |
| 8 | “Becoming a Narcissists Nightmare” - Shahida ArabiThis is such an amazing summary, thank you for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/08/21 03:13 AM |
| 45 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-inYea. And I unfortunately dated a guy who ended up telling me one of his best mates talks about how unattractive and disgusting his wife is now she’s gained weight and cut her hair. That he can’t even look at her without feeling disgust. But yet has the audacity to complain that she won’t “give” him sex. The other men in the group also consistently cheat on their partners or say that their “missus” is used up and has a kid already to a previous partner so they are using her to “breed” because the… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 01:53 PM |
| 5 | Markers of AbuseUnfortunately it’s so true, especially if your family is also filled with abusers (like mine), and victims who unfortunately in turn abuse others and scapegoat them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/08/21 10:21 AM |
| 15 | PSA: For rohypnol you have 12-25 hours for a blood test, 60 hours to 28 days for a urine sample and 90 days for hair strand analysis.I don’t know much, but I once had a guy I was dating show me he had a bottle of GHB and said in a jokey tone “you know ghb is date rape drug”, and he then tried all night to get me to try all these other drugs (I noticed he was mixing the ghb so I didn’t take anything else). He was very persistent with trying to get me to take these drugs and then said “what do you think, I’m going to wait until you pass out and do something to you?” - this was without him even telling me he mixed GHB. Anyway, j… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 03:33 PM |
| 32 | The truth about the "honey moon phase"Yes! I’ve been saying this for years. Don’t settle for less. If two people want a relationship and each other they will be committed to keeping the spark alive and depending the connection. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/08/21 04:53 AM |
| 5 | Start embarrassing them for low effort or for seeking a mommy, calling it out helps combat some of the scroteryOh I just love Marilyn. She was obviously objectified for her looks, but she was so witty and intelligent also, which I only realised once I started to watch some clips of her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/07/21 01:57 PM |
| 11 | Being a Cool Girl is a trapThis is interesting. I always felt the same. But when I think about it now, the women I know who do have big friends groups are constantly posting pics and “Ily” to their friends on social media (grown ass women mind you), but then the next minute you see Sally has unfriended Natalie and removes all we pics from insta. Emily is posting some vague meme about backstabbing friends, while Casey is suddenly dating Amy’s soon to be ex boyfriend... hm maybe I’m not missing out on much after all. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 09:20 AM |
| 9 | Being a Cool Girl is a trapWow, I feel like I could’ve written this myself. The older guys I dates in my late teens were also in their 30s and had known me since I was 15 working at the local shops. And the guys that I know in the scene now that are in their mid 30s are massive predators, with younger women and women their own age. They neg the women their own age that they are washed up and no one will want them, so the women are basically emotionally abused into being pickmes. Yuck. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 09:18 AM |
| 5 | Being a Cool Girl is a trapI’ve noticed this with metal gigs too. I go to a lot of them and have been fortunate to meet a couple of good women at them. But overall, must of the women are outright rude, ignore you, or are desperate to be groupies and see you as competition. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/07/21 09:15 AM |
| 2 | Ladies, how do you tell if you don't want kids or haven't found the right circumstances yet?Aw this is so nice to hear! I do like seeing the happy stories, even if I feel like they are few and far between sometimes. It really does seem like finding a good solid partner makes a huge difference. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 02:33 PM |
| 5 | This is just ridiculous (don't forget to swipe)Sad but true. What a world we live in now. Ugh. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:37 PM |
| 13 | This is just ridiculous (don't forget to swipe)Exactly. It’s often a way that women will re-traumatise themselves, because they view the woman as the object to be abused, as an extension of themselves. Whereas men also view women as objects - but from the abusers point of view rather than the victim. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:26 PM |
| 43 | This is just ridiculous (don't forget to swipe)I’m really sad for this generation. And I’m including millennials like myself in this. I really just don’t see much hope. We have an entire generation of narcissistic sociopathic porn addicts. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 12:23 PM |
| 1 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"Yes. They do not like a hot girl who is smart or will stand up for herself. You’ll get labelled as crazy. Remember the hot girl / crazy girl graph or whatever? They will do anything in their power to try and make you feel ugly or stupid, or ugly and stupid, if they find out you’re actually intelligent also. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:40 AM |
| 1 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"Yes! 100%. If I am single and happy my sex drive is through the roof. If I’m coupled and happy, it’s also through the roof. The minute I feel neglected or abused then it dies down. I don’t do casual relationships as it’s too risky, but I can emotionally detach and just have sex. Women can do all these things - it’s just too risky, plus we are placed in a subordinate position to men which disempowers us and our sexuality, plus we are bombarded with sexual “competition” in the media, social media,… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:28 AM |
| 1 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"Exactly. And there’s more celebs mentioned above, but I will never forget my absolute stunner of a friend being cheated on with someone waaay way way below her in terms of attractiveness. I don’t like to be mean, but this woman was really unattractive, and I will say that because she also knew that my friends ex was about to marry my friend - so yes, this woman was ugly inside and outside. Slept with him in a janitors closet ... for money. So he actually paid this woman who was way less attracti… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:23 AM |
| 2 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"So true. And they may initially choose the most physically attractive one, as some sort of conquest or trophy. But if they can brow beat her down enough, or she shows too much personality, or they just get too jealous of attention she can get, they will go for one they can get the most “benefits” from which is often the “cool girl” who will put up with their cheating, lying, gaslighting and go along with all the boys, and never ask for anything. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:20 AM |
| 1 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"So true. And Christie Brinkley. Halle Berry. And one of my gfs who is stunning, and used to be a model (still could be), was cheated on over and over and over by her ex, with much less attractive women (and it wasn’t an emotional connection to those women, they were just available). Oh and Harvey Weinstein’s ex wife is probably one of the most beautiful women I’ve seen and look at the predator she ended up with. It’s really so depressing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:17 AM |
| 2 | To the ladies who say FDS is "hot girl strategy"Same. And you’ll also get blamed for it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 26/07/21 11:01 AM |
| 6 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Wow. He sounds like a piece of work! I’m so glad you got out of that and you’re with someone who actually treats you properly by the sounds of it. I agree, I think you’re spot on with your last paragraph. They just need that validation and to be wanted, so they’ll take it from anywhere and any woman. They maaay go public with one of them once the dream woman moves on. But it’ll take a while before they do. So nasty. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 02:46 PM |
| 8 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Yes. And even if they are long term relationships, doesn’t mean they are high quality. A lot of guys will still have a lot of friends from school - who never grew up and all have the “bros before hoes” mentality. So like you said, look at the whole picture. Often these men haven’t and won’t ever grow up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:16 AM |
| 7 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?100%. I dated someone who showed so many HV traits, did the whole dating and courting thing right, I was involved in his family and friends, but he was excellent at turning things around and blaming and guilting me for things - in such a sophisticated manner. A few counsellors said he was highly narcissistic and one said potentially psychopathic with how smooth he was. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:13 AM |
| 3 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Yes same. They can mute conversations, delete them, have apps to hide them. An open phone doesn’t mean shit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:10 AM |
| 5 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Yes. And listen to what the friends say about their own partners - how they talk about them behind their back. That’s always very telling too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:07 AM |
| 6 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Same. I only found mine was talking to someone else after we were exclusive by going through his phone (and he gave it to me hah). I also found out he was lying about strippers at a bachelor the same way, which is when I ended up leaving. Oh and guess what? He got back with his ex who was calling him constantly on one of our first dates (he made up a lie saying it was his friend calling from his own gfs phone) - turns out it was actually his own ex. So my gut was right the whole time... AND when… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 05:06 AM |
| 12 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?Wow. That is so crazy. And I am so sorry to hear, that must’ve really shaken your world view on so many levels. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 04:57 AM |
| 13 | What tell-tale signs or How to vet for a guy that won't cheat after x amount of years?I’m so sorry this happened to you, but thanks for sharing - I think it’s really important to note that narcissists and other cluster b personality types will often cheat without caring, even with their dreamgirl because the problem is within themselves. I think it’s important because people often use these terms like dream girl, as if a guy will change once he meets that “perfect” person - no, he won’t. Especially if he’s a narc. It’s sad that so many people use these terms like placeholder and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 04:54 AM |
| 174 | Guy I was dating left me at 4 am alone in the middle of the city to go rescue his ex. WTF?Yes exactly! They’re never like that when in the relationship. I also feel it’s partly about that losing control over the ex - so they get more attentive because she’s effectively unavailable to him as they aren’t together, but yet he doesn’t want to let go completely. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/07/21 02:05 AM |
| 63 | Ever blocked a guy and he still tracked you down?Agreed. Often the woman knows her stalker better than others do. People thought I was crazy for not blocking my very violent and possessive ex when I left him - but I preferred to know what was going on. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:14 PM |
| 185 | 💩Yep. It’s scary how common they are. One of my friends workplaces had the police turn up as it was found a father was selling pictures of his pre-pubescent daughter to another colleague. I mean, the fact this even came up in a real life situation?! They obviously had some sort of conversation... it’s not like they were just two strangers on some weird Internet forum. They were work colleagues. This world. It actually terrifies me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 03:09 PM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-I’mProbably not. Unless the partner who uses coercion recognises their ways and goes to intensive therapy for months or more likely years. And even then, it’ll be hard for them to change their ways. Even if they do, there’s no guarantee they will stay changed... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/07/21 02:26 PM |
| 11 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-I’m💯- I cant add anymore than the below commenters but I can say it’s not just your trauma talking. We live in a world where women can be traumatised just by now much we are objectified, even if we’ve never experienced trauma first hand ourselves. Sad world. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:59 PM |
| 14 | Must read: ‘In Sheep’s Clothing’ - Dr. George K SimonHope you find it as useful as I did! It’s the kind of book I think I will revisit over and over again. And I hardly skipped any chapters (only the ones on children being manipulative as it doesn’t really interest me). The rest was really relevant, and made me think about what people in my life are really thinking when I can tell they are pushing and agenda or I have that gut feeling that something isn’t quite right. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 02:57 PM |
| 10 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check-I’mI don’t think it’s a problem at all, unless it’s a problem for him? My best guy friend is kind of like that too. Only issue would be I guess if he was with a super social partner with lots of friends, and he was expected to go to everything. Or he was controlling or jealous. But If he is happy being that way, that’s up to him I guess. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 10:04 AM |
| 3 | Weekly FDS Check-inYes agree with the below comments. It’s showing underlying misogynistic views. This is about character and values. His very core. Not many people change that, unless they want to - and not many do, as they stand to lose too much power that way. They like the power. Even the ones that change need months or more likely years of intensive therapy to change. You’re right to feel uncomfortable, and even more right to feel disgusted and actually run away. Can you See a domestic violence counsellor or … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/07/21 09:26 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Check-InI am so sorry you’re dealing with all of this. Your neighbour is a fcking creep! And your grandfather sounds really abusive. I’m so sick of these men who just abuse those who are more vulnerable than them, including your cat and yourself. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/07/21 09:21 AM |
| 1 | FDS Weekly Chat / Check-InAw bless, I’m so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking. But I am glad you’re no longer with your ex and you are living your life. Good on you, and good on you for listening to your beloved cousins advice too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 04:20 AM |
| 7 | FDS Weekly Chat / Check-InYea, I like it with a partner I trust. But stopped giving it (and receiving) to guys that I wasn’t serious about (before FDS I mean), because it felt degrading | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 04:18 AM |
| 3 | FDS Weekly Chat / Check-InYea I’ve found similar experiences tbh. One of my gfs has done it to me a couple of times, and I almost felt like she was getting kickbacks from the guy to date me. It was weird. Also had a friend try to set me up with a guy by organising for her and I to go for a walk and “accidentally” bump into her guy friend who liked me (we had met once before). I don’t think she had bad motives, but it was still frustrating to not really have a say. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/07/21 04:17 AM |
| 6 | FDS Weekly Chat / Check-InSorry I don’t have any advice but just that I can relate lately. Friends getting married, engaged, buying houses together and having babies. All I can say is sometimes people panic and may not be as happy as they appear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/07/21 02:45 AM |
| 15 | I refuse to believe this is real but if it is… Holy MolySo true | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 04:45 AM |
| 155 | I refuse to believe this is real but if it is… Holy MolyOmg me too. It grinds my gears and is internalised misogyny. I like men’s naked bodies, and even their packages, and I’m sure I’m not the only woman who does. Im so sick of women being pushed into being “the cool girl” saying women are more beautiful. Yea, more women look after themselves and also women are more objectified. But men’s bodies are amazing (the ones who actually look after themselves). Edit - we just don’t get to see enough of them! And even if we do, men are the subject and seen a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 02:18 AM |
| 34 | I refuse to believe this is real but if it is… Holy MolyThis is so true. I know of men in their mid to late 30s still like this. They are chasing and having families, but still don’t put their families first and say the women are controlling for not wanting them to go out and get plastered every weekend, and for going to strippers for bachelors, or drinks after work every day, or boys trips away. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 02:14 AM |
| 26 | This!Yes! I’ve had LVM who took me out, messaged back consistently, cleaned, looked after themselves and were physically perfect, and spent time with me and money on me happily - but were also emotionally abusive, small time drug dealers or one who was a party animal who just disappeared on weekends... however, to look at him and listen to him, and look at the things he did sober, you’d think he was amazing. That’s the bare minimum. Because what else are they doing that LVM underneath the shiny exter… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/06/21 02:10 AM |
| 3 | Book Review: How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved. A must read if you are actively dating.No problem, hope you find it super helpful ! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 02:13 AM |
| 1 | Never stop getting the bag Queens! 💰I’m so sorry for your experiences but thank you so much for sharing. I think this is a great lesson for many - I have also been in a similar situation in terms of working my butt off and becoming burnt out, but not to the extent you have described. I try and get a balance now, I spend within my means for the most part, but make sure I have some savings behind me (though I splurge a little - having some renovations done and also getting a surgery later in the year). I wanted so much more and was … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 02:10 AM |
| 3 | Book Review: How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved. A must read if you are actively dating.No problem - good on you! I haven’t actually got the workbook but I might look into it too. Would love to hear how you go with it. Thanks | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 02:03 AM |
| 4 | Book Review: How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved. A must read if you are actively dating.Oooh, that’s for the recommendation! I will also be looking this one up too now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/06/21 02:02 AM |
| 16 | Book Review: How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved. A must read if you are actively dating.No problem, I hope you find it as interesting and helpful, as I did. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 01:00 PM |
| 5 | Had a hard week so i made a charcuterie board with champagne, a lavender candle and a vase full of fresh flowers. Don't wait for a guy to treat you right when you can skip men and do that for yourself.Gorgeous!!! Good on you for spoiling yourself. I also made my gfs one a few weeks back before we went out. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/06/21 10:09 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InOh I love this! Thanks for sharing! Exactly this - it’s a journey. Thanks | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 06:51 AM |
| 6 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InI agree with this. I pretty much let them take the lead and respond warmly to their texts and invites. I will occasionally send a text first - but rarely. The occasional text is enough, especially did you’re responding to them and accepting their dates. LV men will often bait and switch and get you to do the chasing. A HV man wouldn’t do that. I think he’s be emotionally intelligent enough to understand etiquette and your level of interest. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 06:48 AM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InDo it!!! I did it and it helped me clear my head. I went back on when I was ready and also had a clear out of my feed when I was ready. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 06:45 AM |
| 8 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InGood on you for having that realisation and not giving in! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 06:20 AM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InSuch a great breakdown of Shallon’s great points and not so great points. To me, the good outweighs the bad, any time i need a confidence boost I go to her. Also, I agree with evil week, the ones I have seen are really just about strategy - dealing with bullies in the workplace, insight into how cheaters think and how not to take it personally etc. Also, I love Dr Ramani too. I think more narcissism and sociopathy talk would be good on here in general. HD Tudor is also good, and I like Dr Sam Va… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 01:37 AM |
| 2 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InOh interesting! I didn’t know that about Anna Bey. I guess it’s the same with her then - take the good points, and disregard the bad. Why are there so many scammer in life! I feel I feel so naive sometimes haha | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/06/21 01:28 AM |
| 5 | Weekly FDS Chat, Check-InExactly, I like Shallon for her no BS tolerance to people who abuse/ use, and for calling those behaviours out for what they are. But reeeally don’t like her pickme attitudes towards sex, and porn etc. also the obsession with much younger men (like, yea open the door for women to date younger men but not THAT much younger). Oh and also the abusive behaviours toward other people. Except for maybe the fact it gives insight into how abusive people think. Thanks for the reminder about Anna Bey | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 22/06/21 01:41 PM |
| 21 | Apparently single women can’t have nice things aka my attempt to buy a houseI’m the same, I don’t like sharing my space either! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/06/21 09:46 AM |
| 6 | Thanks to FDS, this young adult isn't afraid of ageing anymore! 💕👸🏻This is so true. Most of my friends look far better in their 30s than their 20s. But I guess that naive look the predators love so much is gone, hence the being so scared of ageing. I can’t really comment on 40 and above but I have some women friends in their late 40s and early 50s and they look amazing. Even without Botox and fillers. I have to be honest, I’m definitely more plastic than them as I started early-ish with the tox and fillers. But they just show you don’t even need that stuff - ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 10/06/21 01:07 PM |
| 1 | Why We Need A Sexual Double Standard (Against Men)This is a thing for sure. One of my gfs dated two guys in a short space of time who eventually admitted to sleeping with men also, after her questioning them. I also dated a guy who I suspected was like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 01:55 PM |
| 1 | Why We Need A Sexual Double Standard (Against Men)This is so true. I once had a counsellor point that out to me about a “man-child” (her words) I was seeing. She actually said he is more interested in the male validation he is getting, than in the actual situationship I was stuck in. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 01:53 PM |
| 25 | Thanks to FDS, this young adult isn't afraid of ageing anymore! 💕👸🏻Same, I relate to all of this. I got better at styling myself too, makeup, skincare in general, and just look after myself more. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 01:12 PM |
| 23 | The nerdboy syndrome is just as toxic as the f*ckboyExactly! This is what I always said too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 11:40 AM |
| 30 | The nerdboy syndrome is just as toxic as the f*ckboyYes! This whole post and your comment remind me of my first boyfriend when I was 18. Ah, so sad. He would literally just zone out and stare at waitresses, other girls at a party (to the point where one of my so called friends was egging her friend on to flirt with him because it was that obvious), and he even left me alone at a family Xmas party to sit right next to his family friends daughter he was obsessed with when I was mid-sentence. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/06/21 11:39 AM |
| 2 | Some examples of men who have hit the wallHooley Dooley. I didn’t expect that | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 09:13 AM |
| 10 | Some examples of men who have hit the wallThis is such a good point. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/05/21 09:12 AM |
| 110 | Woman on Tik Tok reminds us that LVM neg confident women, and that patriarchy relies on women hating themselvesYes! I had this the other night waiting for my Uber. Two young guys come up to me and start saying all this weird stuff about how I must be racist, just rambling off crap. I didn’t even get a chance to say anything... then one goes “your ego must be as big as your earrings” as I was wearing large hoops. Then it clicked I was like “oh I see what you did there. Good old negging.” And he looked so confused and like he was sprung. Then after 20 seconds or so he goes “you must be an old chick over 35… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/05/21 02:39 PM |
| 1 | What in the fresh hell-- throw this man out of your LIFE and slam the lid shut 😡Holy shit this absolutely broke my heart. You cannot even talk to this man. It won’t help. Just leave. I know it’s harder to do than it is for me to say, but lots of women leave, and they get their life and confidence back on track. You’re currently on an express train to emotional wreck with this man. He knows ever since you got pregnant that you’re trapped, which is why the emotional abuse has increased. He is actually fucking disgusting. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 03:37 PM |
| 9 | Tired of people trying to sell this idea that posting half naked pics on instagram is empowering to us girls and womenTotally agree with this comment, well said. People will argue “yes, but we all like attractive humans.” But there’s a way to notice an attractive person without any perceptible way for your partner to notice. And also, yes we can all notice when someone walks in our plain line of sight. However, they shouldn’t be constantly on the look out for women - whipping their head around every two seconds when they see the silhouette of someone who may be a woman in their peripheral vision. Nothing grinds… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 03:21 PM |
| 6 | This is straight up abuse. If you don’t like that she’s a makeup artist on TikTok, you can just break up with her, you don’t have to call her ugly and attention seeking in the process. Guys can never just leave with dignity, they have to make a whole ass mess out of itOh yes. That old chestnut is real! That’s why I dipped when my ex was always nitpicking at me for not smiling right, or saying I love you in the right tone, using the wrong emoji in a text once a month earlier, not saying the exact right compliment at the exact time and also I clearly didn’t love him because I never randomly grabbed him in a particular way. Even though I never grabbed any bfs that way before and I was the one always travelling to see him. Summer was coming and pretty sure he jus… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 03:03 PM |
| 5 | Men and Pickmes are confused because they think men are necessary, rather than optionalI absolutely love this. Thanks for sharing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 02:49 PM |
| 25 | Ready to commit and then they bail (AKA THE REASON TO DATE MULTIPLE MEN AT ONCE AND PROPERLY VET)Yes. I found that with a guy I was kind of seeing. He would just bring up casually in conversation when drunk, strippers and escorts. Acted like the most gentlemanly man otherwise, but his true colours came out, and I started realising that it was just the norm for him. He genuinely thought he was a good guy even though he felt he was entitled to a devoted wife, and kids, and strippers/ prostitutes on the side. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/05/21 02:41 PM |
| 64 | Things men don’t want you to know...Yes, totally. I’ve been thinking this lately. That’s where I went wrong in my last relationships before FDS. Especially the final one, he never did these tactics, because he knew I was the pickme who was dying for his validation. Instead he lovebombed and cruelly abused me saying I DIDNT love him which in return I stupidly validated him more, accepted his verbal, emotional and psychological abuse and did more for him 🤦♀️ he didn’t give a shit that I walked away - except for the fact he never th… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/21 12:51 PM |
| 88 | This is ‘modern masculinity’ in a nutshell lmaooo declining birth rates tell us you aren’t in demand ‘bro’100% I agree, with men like this it’s about power and control | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/21 09:53 AM |
| 21 | Dear Scrotes: HVM does not mean a rich chad.So true. Oh god, I just had ptsd flashbacks from my past... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/21 04:07 AM |
| 8 | Truly yes!🥰This is so true - I can feel my close girlfriends getting stronger now that we are all working on levelling ourselves up. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 09/05/21 01:59 AM |
| 17 | TikTok is grooming teenage girls to be okay with sexual violenceI am so fucking sick of this shit. Wtf is wrong with our world. This is so depraved and I’m sick of it. It shouldn’t even be a thing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 07/05/21 12:10 PM |
| 18 | I've also been compared to having "steak " every day and other objects that grow old or boringYes! I’ve always said this too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 06/05/21 12:45 AM |
| 11 | We need more kink shamingI agree. And also the fact that the man so often devalues her straight away, often ramps up his porn use when she’s pregnant, or perhaps cheats, or gets abusive. Then when she has the baby, all these issues don’t get rectified suddenly liked she’d hoped (probably due to be gaslit by everyone that it’s her hormones stressing him out), and that things in fact get worse when baby arrives. And even then, she’s having to pander to his needs because people start going on about how he feels neglected a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 01:18 PM |
| 46 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡So true! Omg. My exes family all looked at me so confused and with wonder when I said I owned my own place (in a nice suburb). It’s actually nothing fancy but it’s cute and in a nice area and convenient. You can tell they all thought daddy paid for it though. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 12:20 PM |
| 34 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡Wtf?! That is legit the last thing I would ever think of! Their level of depravity knows no bounds. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 12:18 PM |
| 44 | Things That Perturb LVM 🤡Ah yes. They cannot fathom a woman who isn’t constantly texting them and all over them and wanting to see them every two seconds, let alone a woman saying she’s not interested. They think there will be another man because: A) they know how they are unable to be alone B) they know how they wish they could spin multiple plates so easily, so women MUST be doing that too C) they can’t imagine how anyone could not be falling all over herself to not marry such a prize of a guy Suuuch projection. Some … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/05/21 12:17 PM |
| 9 | Weekly FDS Check-InYep, this is exactly what I’ve felt so many times! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/05/21 12:36 PM |
| 111 | Keep Men At A Distance Because False Intimacy Creates Trust.Yes yes yes! I got addicted to a highly narcissistic ex because of this - he was constantly texting me, so I thought he was a “nice guy” and honestly he ended up really psychologically abusive, sexually abusive, emotionally abusive, and the trauma bond was strong when I left, I was a mess and missed him a lot. Also, those constant texts carried on throughout the relationship, but became more about control - i always replies quickly and if I didn’t reply in 15 mins towards the end, he would get m… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 03:25 PM |
| 23 | Nothing but facts“Comment on my body like they’re picking out a car.” - that was such an excellent example of how they treat women, unfortunately. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 10:47 AM |
| 18 | I have never had a man treat me with kindness or respect after I did these things.SO true. I dipped the last time a guy started with the whole “you don’t love me/ give me enough affection/ do anything for me.” Because I did a whole lot more than him and my affections were genuine (unlike his lovebombing fakery). And I’m glad I did, because pretty sure cheating was just around the corner (I had caught him out lying about social media girls - he tried to gaslight multiple times before I found the truth). When I did, that’s when he ramped up the “you don’t even love me/ you’re a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 10:33 AM |
| 1 | He says he is all for “enthusiastic consent” but his whole post is putting women down for not wanting to have sex and being upset when their partners turn to porn.This! Not to mention the massive and contradictory expectations put on women since they are young girls, in regards to their sexuality, is enough to traumatise any woman who hasn’t even been sexually abused before. To be a puppet and play up to men’s sexuality and have these crazy pressures to cosmetically mutilate their bodies and starve and remove all hair and perform all sorts of extreme positions is not natural to women. Most women wouldn’t know what their natural sexuality is. And that’s ju… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 09:52 AM |
| 11 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToSame! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 06:19 AM |
| 31 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToSo true. And that’s also why I don’t buy it when they say they aren’t sure about how a woman feels about them or a women is giving mixed messages. Because they don’t pick up on those nuances usually. A woman just has to briefly look their way and they get convinced she wants them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 05:22 AM |
| 104 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToYep 100% that encouragement is awful! I was never overweight, but when I lost weight due to literally starving myself and riddled with depression and anxiety, people close to me would say “you’ve never looked better”. I do hate that the social encouragement aspect is so overlooked with eating disorders / disordered eating. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 02:57 AM |
| 25 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToI’m so glad you had the strength to do that - it’s so much harder to stand your ground when your mental health is declining. And I’m happy to hear it sounds like you’re in a better place now :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 02:56 AM |
| 333 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToReading this broke my heart. It can be so easy to slip into eating disordered behaviour from this pressure and the way people treat you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 12:18 AM |
| 126 | Watch The Way Men Treat Women They're Not Attracted ToIkr?! Delusional. I had a guy say to me that it’s important for women to always dress up and look good/ take care of themselves, but it doesn’t matter for men, men don’t have to do that.” Ah no, got that all wrong! That’s why us women collectively need to stop giving these guys a chance. If they are nice people but not attractive, that’s different. But when you get a sniff of their misogynistic ways, just run. He won’t be nicer or better because he’s less conventionally attractive. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/05/21 12:16 AM |
| 1 | PSA: as soon as man says that, run the opposite direction sis 🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️ This is RED FLAG. Manipulation.I think she was saying the guy is the one destroying her property, and not listening to her boundaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/05/21 04:42 PM |
| 5 | (Not my post) but my own dad told me to use this strategy to weed out the losers, and here it is working!I know, right?! Unfortunately a few of my not so close pickme friends did this during lockdown. Actually, a walk first, then propositioned via text, then agreed to have the guy over. Had a few months casual with them and basically told the guy they want a relationship or they are done. So now they are buying houses and having babies already... I just don’t feel it’s going to end well | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 02:30 AM |
| 7 | (Not my post) but my own dad told me to use this strategy to weed out the losers, and here it is working!Oh god help the world if he ends up as Psychologist...honestly, i think psych is very outdated anyway especially when it comes to relationships. The only good therapists are those who are trained in domestic violence and abuse, of and personality disorders. Anyway I digress! Good on your friend for being so strong! I once had a guy who rescheduled a date on me, and then when I hadn’t responded in half a day (because you know, like, I have a life). He ranted at me “what an arrogant, entitled and … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 12:15 AM |
| 43 | (Not my post) but my own dad told me to use this strategy to weed out the losers, and here it is working!Yes, so true. Exactly like my ex who was like this only a few months into the relationship. He would literally be mad and offended I wasn’t smiling enough when I came to the front door (probably because I was flustered as fck getting home from work, quickly exercising, getting dressed and making sure I was at his place on the dot). Or I didn’t send the right emoji. Or my voice wasn’t happy enough (in response to me being cautious because I could hear anger in his voice). They control every aspec… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 28/04/21 12:00 AM |
| 2 | (Not my post) but my own dad told me to use this strategy to weed out the losers, and here it is working!This sounds exactly like my ex. Couldn’t say “sorry I’m busy, can’t go for lunch today” or if my “yes” wasn’t enthusiastic enough ooof I’d better watch out. Glad I dipped out of that one. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/04/21 11:57 PM |
| 6 | Man hides camera in woman's bedroom disguised as clock, takes 140 videos—police - a other reason to not bring men you barely know to your home.I agree. A girl I know actually went to a guys house who had cameras all over the house (but not obviously in the bedroom), however she slept with him and is now wondering if there was a hidden camera in there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/21 12:30 AM |
| 8 | Man hides camera in woman's bedroom disguised as clock, takes 140 videos—police - a other reason to not bring men you barely know to your home.thank you, I ended up reading the article where it actually says it (I should’ve done that before!) glad she followed her gut to think “why does he want the clock back so badly” - not many women would think about a camera inside. I probably would’ve thought he was some weird stalker/ abuser playing a power game. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/04/21 12:28 AM |
| 6 | Can we please stop praising fathers just for "trying"This infuriated me when reading it, but I love that the random lady had your back :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:55 PM |
| 4 | Can we please stop praising fathers just for "trying"Holy shit, this enraged me to read this. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this and be treated that way. You’re freaking amazing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:50 PM |
| 37 | Man hides camera in woman's bedroom disguised as clock, takes 140 videos—police - a other reason to not bring men you barely know to your home.Yes, unfortunately before FDS I used to do this and I got paranoid a couple of times that guys planted something in my room. I also got paranoid about being taped the two times I went to men’s houses. This actually did happen to one of my friend’s friends. After hearing that, I cringe at the situations I put myself in before. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:06 PM |
| 13 | Man hides camera in woman's bedroom disguised as clock, takes 140 videos—police - a other reason to not bring men you barely know to your home.This terrifies me. How would you even know if one was planted in your home?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 01:03 PM |
| 4 | The✨mandacity✨Yes! “And you’re being so argumentative/ aggressive. Let’s just chill. Agree to disagree.” - right, because you know you had exactly no actual points to make. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 12:29 PM |
| 46 | The fact that a sizeable amount of men marry because they get too old to chase young women is GROSS.Haha yea, I’m no doctor, but I saw one of my exes faces light up when he found out I earned over $100k (he found out through a friend mentioning it as she worked in the same job) - he eventually started pushing boundaries by paying for less (he used to pay for everything) and getting me to up my spending. He had a good trade, he just hated work. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 11:44 AM |
| 15 | The fact that a sizeable amount of men marry because they get too old to chase young women is GROSS.Good on you. I was the same when I was around your age and I wish more young women would be that way - put these guys in their place. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 11:37 AM |
| 18 | The fact that a sizeable amount of men marry because they get too old to chase young women is GROSS.“at this point you can learn everything about LVM by flipping every negative thing they say about women on them.” - yep! Same works with narcs. But I guess nvm/lvm and narcs are all one and the same! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 11:36 AM |
| 67 | “Never give him second chances, we men are fully aware of our actions”Exactly. It’s still a truth worth listening to. I’ve seen men in my own life go to the end of the Earth and back for women they love. And unfortunately, too many men who will say all the sweet words but just disrespect her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/04/21 08:59 AM |
| 20 | 🚩 RED FLAG ❗️🚩 making you live up to the “cool girl” personaSame, I had the exact same line used on me “you’re the most chill girlfriend I’ve ever had.” So I’m guessing I was probably a laughing stock with his friends group about how much he could get away with | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/04/21 09:48 AM |
| 4 | Weird Red Flags?Even referring to one ex as crazy or abusive is a red flag... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:53 PM |
| 2 | Weird Red Flags?Oh wow your last paragraph - reminds me of my narc ex! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:51 PM |
| 1 | Weird Red Flags?Hahaha your last paragraph - so true. I love some metal personally, but I dated a guy who was into it years ago and literally he never shut up about 6ft blue eyed blonde supermodels being his type 😂 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:50 PM |
| 7 | Weird Red Flags?The nicknames thing just gave me flashbacks. I had an ex who got so angry with me for not calling him pet names 3 weeks into us being exclusive. It’s never come naturally to me to use the common pet names like babe or honey, but generally over time in a relationship I will end up coming up with a unique nickname organically. This guy just wouldn’t waste any time, and just really had to nitpick at anything he could I think. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:47 PM |
| 4 | Weird Red Flags?Yea, my ex was in his late 30s and a MASSIVE Eminem fan, still. He was a smooth player type, on the surface seemed really nice and innocent and respectful, but was actually an angry narc who completely obliterated my self esteem in a whirlwind of gaslighting and passive aggressive control tactics. Never. Again. He was also obsessed with his daughter, Hayley. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:41 PM |
| 1 | Weird Red Flags?Yep, I’m exactly the same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:26 PM |
| 2 | Weird Red Flags?Yea same, I’ve always done this. Because I need my phone on me for my work, but also have meetings with people a lot and don’t want them to think I’m getting distracted by my phone flashing with notifications constantly. I see it as a politeness thing - like, my phone is in reach so that I can hear it if it rings and check if I need to answer it. However, it’s not face up so it won’t be flashing every two minutes, distracting the person I’m talking to or even my own eye involuntarily. My ex aske… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Weird Red Flags?Don’t worry, we’ve all been there. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:17 PM |
| 2 | Weird Red Flags?Yes exactly! Which is why I always say to not be lulled into a sense of security if you’re with a guy who leaves his phone out around the house. Conversations can easily be muted or deleted/ disappear. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:16 PM |
| 15 | Men Are Visual BS100%. I noticed this contradiction when I was about 16 and just couldn’t get my head around it. So, what are you boys - Neanderthals giving into your most basic “urges” or the most intelligent and logical sex who builds empires and invents things... make it make sense. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:10 PM |
| 3 | Thoughts from a Former "Submissive"Exactly. I had an experience where I think the guy was trying to reenact a rape scene. When I spoke to people about it they were enraged that he didn’t discuss and get consent first. Which yes, is a huge thing! It traumatised me. But my other issue, which so many people don’t seem to understand is that - it goes to show just what kind of person he is and what kinds of fantasies he’s into. Acting out fantasies always starts with a thought of the fantasy first. I don’t want someone in my life who … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 04:00 PM |
| 23 | I'm a porn addict, my wife forced herself to watch with me instead of asserting healthy boundaries. Now we are divorcing, she resents me. It couldn't have been the porn. Anyone? 🤡Yep 100% narc - first thing I though too. The mental gymnastics and manipulation of information for him to be the victim all the way through made me think that too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 03:46 PM |
| 24 | I'm a porn addict, my wife forced herself to watch with me instead of asserting healthy boundaries. Now we are divorcing, she resents me. It couldn't have been the porn. Anyone? 🤡I hate how they drag women into their addictions. When I was younger (and even older before FDS) I had countless boyfriends try to get me to smoke weed. I guess so they could overrun my boundary of them not being stoned around me (I just don’t like weed, never have). Unfortunately I did get introduced to crack though, and my, that was a rough relationship to break - not only did I have the trauma bond to break out of, as well as the depression and anxiety and ptsd etc, but also a substance use a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 03:44 PM |
| 29 | I'm a porn addict, my wife forced herself to watch with me instead of asserting healthy boundaries. Now we are divorcing, she resents me. It couldn't have been the porn. Anyone? 🤡Yep 100%, this is exactly what I thought too. Narc through and through. I know the term is overused these days, but there are a lot of them out there, and this guy is a shining example of one with his victim mentality. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 03:36 PM |
| 28 | I'm a porn addict, my wife forced herself to watch with me instead of asserting healthy boundaries. Now we are divorcing, she resents me. It couldn't have been the porn. Anyone? 🤡Wow. The audacity is real. All this “we got lazy” and “we, we, we...” no buddy. YOU got lazy. SHE tried to work on it, to the point where she sacrificed her own morals, boundaries and self esteem to watch porn with you, and YOU ruined it. YOU ruined the love. She is not the person you fell in love with because YOU wore her down, YOU took her for granted. Omg this made me so angry! How self entitled can someone be. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/04/21 03:28 PM |
| 5 | Is it possible to trust any man these days?Exactly. And never be lead astray just because a man leaves his phone out in full view of you. All of the things you mentioned can easily be used and so you’ll never see an inappropriate notification pop up, and you’ll be lulled into a false sense of security. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 01:35 PM |
| 3 | Is it possible to trust any man these days?Yep. I almost got trapped with one of these who was really hot when he was younger - stereotypical 6’3, tanned, blonde, big blue eyes, gorgeous face, deep voice footy player/ surfer type. Was starting to worry he was losing his looks, total narcissist (potentially psychopathic a therapist who dealt with sex offenders and DV abusers said), luckily I wasn’t a pickme and he devalued me pretty quickly - he had me going for a bit when I was vulnerable, but pulled the plug on that shit within 6 months… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 01:33 PM |
| 5 | DO NOT SHARE NUDES IN NEVER EVER EVER.Aw this breaks my heart! Like, I know that it happens obviously. But just reading it, made me think of all the beautiful women out there sharing themselves in that way, thinking the man is admiring them and loving them, but really he’s just degrading her. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 01:12 PM |
| 4 | DO NOT SHARE NUDES IN NEVER EVER EVER.Yep! And then it’s even more insulting and heart breaking when women who have done this realise he’s choosing porn of other women over their own partners nudes. It breaks my heart to see women’s posts about it all the time. Their trust and nativity is exploited so badly. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 01:09 PM |
| 4 | Guys who leave you at a party or a family gatheringYour last sentence - Bang on. My ex used to always abandon me and you could tell he hated it when I was fine without him and making everyone laugh and I was all relaxed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 01:00 PM |
| 1 | Guys who leave you at a party or a family gatheringThis made my heart sing! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 12:59 PM |
| 2 | Like Most Women in Their Late 30s, Britney Spears Has Received a Halfhearted Apology From Her Terrible High School BoyfriendShe really does seem like a pure soul, and unfortunately every single person in her life seems to have taken advantage of her, and literally worn her down. It’s so heartbreaking. And she’s such a smart person too. I remember an interview where she pointed out sexism when she was only about 17. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 12:48 PM |
| 14 | Is it possible to trust any man these days?Yep, been there done that. Or another great trick is they collect as many women as they can from dating apps on social media. So when they’re “exclusive” with you, they delete the app - but still effectively keep tabs on and the contacts of women they met on apps. Juuust in case they need to recycle back and keep them warm. Like recruiters do with candidates | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 11:24 AM |
| 16 | DO NOT SHARE NUDES IN NEVER EVER EVER.Exactly. I mean, so many women think they have the most wonderful partner, and really he’s chatting up his co-workers behind her back. So how would you ever really know he’s not the type to show off your nudes or trade them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 11:16 AM |
| 19 | DO NOT SHARE NUDES IN NEVER EVER EVER.Right?! No shame! I can barely even believe this, except unfortunately I can. They just see women literally as service providers. “Well my other sex machine is too busy for me now, so my mate said he’s been to your shop before, so now you can be my new sex machine. This is your card isn’t it?” Like he’s showing a freaking business card. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 19/04/21 11:14 AM |
| 29 | here’s why Scrotes NEGGSame, sis. Mine negged me about using the wrong flipping emoji or having the wrong tone of voice once (in reaction to HIS angry voice which made me more reserved and careful, which he decided was rude and cold), oh and my jokes and playfulness were bad too, even when literally no one has ever been offended by my silly sense of humour, and my lack of friends. They are so predictable. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 14/04/21 11:29 AM |
| 9 | Men can’t handle life changing eventsI was the same. I didn’t want to leave to be honest, but he had just become so psychologically and emotionally manipulative, and escalated to verbal abuse. Always blaming and shaming me for anything that went wrong - I was a shell of the person I was, because “I was always ruining everything” “I made him want to blow his brains out because I wouldn’t shut up” “fuck sake not this shit again” - when he would gaslight me, giving me the cold shoulder/ rolling his eyes and then when I would ask what … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 01:48 PM |
| 12 | Men can’t handle life changing eventsI felt so guilty when I left an ex who’s dad had terminal cancer. I was only with him for 6 months but he constantly nitpicked me, to the point of wearing me down, sexually assaulted me twice, and was very much someone who blamed and shamed me for every single argument we had, and would berate me and silent treat me, play mind games, pick on the fact I didn’t smile enough or at the right time, wasn’t affectionate enough, ruined everything, ruined the relationship, used the wrong emoji, moved my … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 01:25 PM |
| 31 | Excellent Advice, FDS Energy all the way!100%. And protect your assets, if you do get into a relationship, ladies! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 01:17 PM |
| 23 | Dating Subs on Reddit are Social Engineering Hubs to Normalize Sexual Violence and Disrespectful Behavior toward WomenIt’s so crazy that someone can still be assaulted as long as they consent. It’s such a paradox. Of course, I know you’re 100% right that chocking someone without their consent is assault. I was just reflecting how it’s such a fucked up world that we even discuss that we can consent to being physically assaulted, especially during sex. I hate that it’s a thing. Can you imagine how men would react if women started suddenly choking or slapping them during sex?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 11:05 AM |
| 7 | Dating Subs on Reddit are Social Engineering Hubs to Normalize Sexual Violence and Disrespectful Behavior toward WomenExactly. It’s actually terrifying. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 12/04/21 11:02 AM |
| 2 | Sorry but no, withholding sex isn’t a real thing because nobody’s entitled to your body under any circumstances. In her BIO she calls herself a psychologist. 🤡Hope she got picked | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/21 02:01 PM |
| 4 | Trust. Your. Gut.I’ve experienced the same. I had an ex years ago that was going out with a female friend. I never usually cared. This time I did, but told myself to chill TF out. I saw him the day after and something didn’t feel right but I couldn’t say what. Yep. He had cheated. Same with an ex after that who I was always worried about. Yep, sexting and flirting with female “friend” whilst we were exclusive. I stupidly forgave him. Then when a bachelors was coming up with apparently no strippers, I trusted him… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/21 01:42 PM |
| 19 | Trust. Your. Gut.Oh my gosh, these stories are so eerie! My mother also said something about a previous boyfriend I had. Nothing as crazy as your story but still it’s about that gut instinct. I hadn’t told her anything remotely bad about him and he was very much a charmer. I think my dad had a man crush on him. My mother never told me until I left him, but she said she couldn’t stand him the minute she saw him - there was a creepiness to him, and she said he looked at her as if to say “yep, I’ve got her now” (me… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 08/04/21 01:32 PM |
| 40 | Men force you to speak in order to silence youGreat comment. Sorry you went through that - he sounds really narcissistic ... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 04:04 PM |
| 6 | Hot LVM Was No Match For Female Intuition“They don’t care about LTRs, most of them get into relationships to fuck” and “most men aren’t looking for a wife, they are looking to fuck.” Yes. Yes. Yes. This is why it’s so important to wait to sleep with them also. Because plenty will go along with a relationship for YEARS just because they have easy and accessible sex available. Of course some will wait to have sex, but there’s also a lot that won’t. It’s not just the pump and dump women have to worry about, it’s also the fact they will ge… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 02:07 PM |
| 16 | Online dating strategies (research and warding off LVM)Interesting. I don’t know much about snap but wish I knew this and looked into my ex who had it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 12:59 PM |
| 5 | Patron Saint of the PickmeishasYes, so true! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 11:22 AM |
| 8 | Patron Saint of the PickmeishasIt’s actually disgusting and infuriating how much he is acting like the victim and how much sympathy he is getting! Usually I would say that I prefer murderers to be in jail, as I feel that the death penalty is almost an easy way out. But he is milking it! And whilst I think it’s important to talk about this and make sure people see that HE is the perpetrator and HE is a predator and is not a victim in any way, shape, or form, it also saddens me that he’s loving this notoriety of people trying t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 11:04 AM |
| 16 | Patron Saint of the PickmeishasIt’s actually insane and disgusting. I wouldn’t even necessarily say she was “bossy” which some people do (not that it would be a reason for her to be murdered if she was!) but like, he seems like such a covert conniving weasel, she probably just had to take charge at times as he was too busy being a manipulative snake and pretending to be so “easy going” or whatever. She just had goals and life in her. It disgusts me how much people defend these sociopathic/ narcissistic men. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 09:31 AM |
| 28 | (Xpost) "Today this gentleman brought me a flower... He wow’s me every day" I just wanna get myself a gentleman like him...Haha sneaking food! So cute. I love cats. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 03:03 AM |
| 4 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check InYes! This makes me so happy to read. Sorry that you were disappointed like that, I guess the plus is he didn’t drag it out and use you, but it still stings. You have the right attitude though and it is 100% true. Now you’re free and open to that person who will do that for you, and in the meantime you can do it for yourself 💜 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 04/04/21 02:55 AM |
| 7 | Do they even themselves believe it 😂😂 as a 18 year old in my 'prime' i DEFINITELY don't want greasy hairy old pathetic 50 year olds 🤢🤢🤮🤮This. What happens when those 18 year old teenagers get into their 20? These men then want to “upgrade” or they are still addicted to teen porn. You see it every day. Plus they generally hoping they can also bang her friends. Who the heck wants a guy like that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/21 08:05 AM |
| 5 | Do they even themselves believe it 😂😂 as a 18 year old in my 'prime' i DEFINITELY don't want greasy hairy old pathetic 50 year olds 🤢🤢🤮🤮Haha that’s funny! Because it was such a natural reaction. I remember a guy who was 26 and cute chasing me when I was 17. But I didn’t date him as I thought he was too old and creepy. Edit: and when my girlfriends and I were all that age, we were crushing on guys closer to our age group. Like as in, in our year or a couple of years older. And the celebs were around our ages too (I can’t remember them off the top of my head but they were guys from soapies and things). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/21 07:57 AM |
| 8 | Do they even themselves believe it 😂😂 as a 18 year old in my 'prime' i DEFINITELY don't want greasy hairy old pathetic 50 year olds 🤢🤢🤮🤮Exactly. My ex was 37 and had a great body as he was dedicated to the gym. But he had badly receding hairline and rough skin from years of sun damage and drug use. But even that wouldn’t bother me if he was a nice person - he wasn’t. He made his money from dealing drugs, even though he had a good trade behind him, and was narcissistic as fck. My therapist said he was “one of the worst” and she used to deal with sex offenders and domestic abusers in prison. So it wasn’t worth overlooking his roug… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 03/04/21 07:47 AM |
| 6 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkThere’s plenty of reasons to not want your partner to watch porn. Not to mention all of the abuse and trafficking involved, but also, the fact that it literally changes people’s brains to become only aroused to a screen, and only aroused to abuse which they then to escalate to get the same “high”. There’s research done on all of this, as well as research to show the grey matter in the brain shrinks/ becomes smoother due to porn use. Then there’s the issue with objectifying women and girls. And i… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 05:04 AM |
| 14 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkThis is true. And unfortunately, by sleeping with them, you can become bonded and start to put very strong rose coloured glasses on, therefore missing the signs or ignoring/ minimising them. Ask me how I know 🙄 | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:56 AM |
| 21 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkThis is true. And I think they’re more common than not. If they are always on social media, especially Instagram and twitter and Snapchat, but you can’t see obvious women they follow like this, chances are they are still looking, just not following... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:48 AM |
| 14 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkSo true, but also remember just because he doesn’t, doesn’t mean he’s not actually watching porn or looking at those pages. Some of them won’t follow those pages because they keep a squeaky clean public image | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:46 AM |
| 14 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkYea exactly! Because he may not outright follow them (a lot of guys will realise it looks gross and won’t do it, as they have family and other women on there). BUT that doesn’t stop them from still creeping on these pages and saving them... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:45 AM |
| 46 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkYep I agree. I don’t used it a lot but my ex had aaall the social media you can think of and aaall the chat apps you can think of. Constantly on his phone. Constantly scrolling socials. Rarely ever posted anything himself - like maybe once a year. But otherwise would scroll scroll scroll. Always the first to view my stories etc. I just couldn’t deal with it in the end. I did find that he was following random women / girls who didn’t seem mutually connected to his family and friends... I asked hi… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:43 AM |
| 41 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you thinkHow do they get away with this?! I always figured the cheaters were obvious because they wouldn’t put their face in pictures or have blurry pics. But how do they get away with actually having their real pics on their OLD profiles?! It’s crazy. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:39 AM |
| 12 | How to find out if a man watches porn: it’s easier than you think100%! Great post! I tried this on a guy I dated a while back, and it worked a charm. He spilled all sorts of gross and potentially illegal fetishes 🤢 and wouldn’t even tell all of them to me, because he said some could potentially get him in trouble. He also got “turned on” when I talked in a childish voice... I made the mistake of asking my last ex straight up and he said “not since I’ve been seeing you”. Which obviously was a lie. Oh also, he was older, so he didn’t often say outright sleazy t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 02/04/21 04:35 AM |
| 1 | This was basically my ex's friends. Weird how so many men don't find this odd( when not actively boasting about dating teens as my ex and his friends would *vomits!*)So gross. Glad you’re leaving him. How do the other wives not have issues with their husbands obsessing over barely legal girls?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 05:40 PM |
| 1 | This was basically my ex's friends. Weird how so many men don't find this odd( when not actively boasting about dating teens as my ex and his friends would *vomits!*)Ew gross. I had an ex like that too. Disgusting. Once you see it you can never unsee it in them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 05:36 PM |
| 6 | We 👏 Don’t 👏 Chase 👏IKR. They really think they are the prize we just don’t know that we want yet. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 05:20 PM |
| 3 | “There are just some things about FDS I don’t agree with.” *** My journey to the truth.I think any abusive and violent fantasies, or anything with a large power imbalance, is usually unhealthy. I mean, it’s hard to say specifically, but most things in mainstream porn are unhealthy. And usually if someone has those kinds of fantasies they have roots in previous mistreatment or abuse, if you dig deep enough. That, or they’ve watched way too much porn and mainstream sexualised media, and have altered their minds so much to buy into the unhealthy fantasies. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Anyone who knowingly interacts with pedophiles cannot be trusted. Pedophiles routinely exploit their social networks to access children. Their judgement and motivations will always be suspect. Thoroughly vet everyone in your life and DO NOT IGNORE RED FLAGS.You definitely have the intelligence to understand it, if I could study it, anyone can! Haha. But I know what you mean about dealing with the bad ones and having gone through too much yourself - that’s a big reason why I don’t work in the field. Maybe one day for a mid life crisis thing or something, but not now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 01/04/21 04:53 PM |
| 4 | Guy takes girl on a non-date and then is surprised when it doesn’t feel like a dateYep, exactly! That’s exactly what my ex was doing. He wasn’t overtly liking pictures (from what I could see) but he knew he still had them On there “just in case” and he wasn’t honest about it until backed into a corner. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 31/03/21 12:02 AM |
| 1 | How predators hide in plain sight.Holy shit that is terrifying!!! Good on you for punching him in the face but I’m so sorry you went through that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 01:25 PM |
| 3 | If you have an mental illness - be extra cautious of men trying to manipulate you or gaslight youAgreed. My ex would get upset if I was a bit quiet or less overly chirpy and affectionate some days (I was going through a lot at the time, with family stuff). He would get so offended and upset with me and say I didn’t love him and would sulk. So I explained how deep my depression can go sometimes (serious suicidal ideation and a past attempt a long time ago). He cried and said he lost a friend to suicide, and of course I felt terrible for him). A couple of weeks later we had an argument, full … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 01:04 PM |
| 4 | Sexual coercion is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Not all sexual assaults are violent and it often happens in relationshipsYes, exactly. I was with an ex for 5 years that would threaten he would “just take it if I don’t give it to him.” He would also tell stories about what a loose cannon he was, and how violent he was, when he was really drunk. So then I wouldn’t want to say no because he would then go out and get drunk and become super scary. So I would do what he wanted just with the implied violence at OTHER times (not sexual times), so the violence and sex were not closely linked. He would also tell stories of … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 12:59 PM |
| 5 | Sexual coercion is SEXUAL ASSAULT. Not all sexual assaults are violent and it often happens in relationshipsSo true. And you’re right, even the violence is debated. I’ve told this story before but I had a hook up with a guy, second time I had met him and I went to his house (I would never do that now). Anyway, we were in bed, he got up and started opening a condom packet, then came back to bed... literally smacked his whole hand over my entire face (covered completely) and applied force. I could see his face through a sliver between his fingers and I remember his face just looking down at my body, and… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 12:53 PM |
| 7 | Share your Red Flags on men who view women as disposable objectsYes, 100%! I’ve been caught out with that twice unfortunately. The first one wanted a relationship “but only if it’s right” and basically wanted to see how things went (he ended up being very psychologically and emotionally and even sexually abusive just within the 6 month relationship). Another list ghosted for a while then breadcrumbed me. I actually didn’t want a relationship that time anyway, but he didn’t know that, and it still goes to show they will say whatever they need to, to get that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 12:27 PM |
| 3 | Do I just accept that men are disgusting behind our backs?I’m the same with lying. I made too many excuses for a liar in the past and ended up in a confused mess as I didn’t know what was up or down. The last one that lied was straight out for that reason. It’s not worth your sanity. If you don’t have basic trust then how can you have any form of emotional safety in your relationship, and how can you have basic trust if your partner lies to you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 12:09 PM |
| 12 | Do I just accept that men are disgusting behind our backs?Exactly. And it’s such a bluff to say you can see my statements / emails etc. it’s like a cheater saying “here go through my phone!” Knowing full well they delete all evidence all the time. Edit: or like a Porn user saying they aren’t watching for three years and “look you can have my Instagram account...” Dr Les Carter (surviving narcissism) said something that really stuck with me - if you see one rat, chances are, there’s a whole lot more behind the wall. I stick with this now. If I find out … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 12:00 PM |
| 25 | Has a man ever shamed you for your orgasms?This is disgusting. They treat our orgasms like a circus. This breaks my heart to read, I’m so sorry he did that to you. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 11:32 AM |
| 8 | Has a man ever shamed you for your orgasms?Yep. I never did with my ex, and I tried to explain that it was due to trauma and that I also get insecure - he just shamed me more and said I make him insecure. Honestly no one would have cum from what he was doing. He always said he wanted to go down on me, but within 30 seconds he would beg to “put it in”. But then blame me and say I never wanted him to go down on me. It was a headfuck because I never told him not to, and also he controlled the pace of everything all the time, and he didn’t d… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 11:30 AM |
| 45 | Guy takes girl on a non-date and then is surprised when it doesn’t feel like a dateThat’s so scary! Thanks for sharing - it’s always good to know what predators are up to now. I shudder the amount of times I went to random addresses and gave out my address on things like craigslist etc when I was younger. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 11:10 AM |
| 45 | Guy takes girl on a non-date and then is surprised when it doesn’t feel like a dateYep! My ex kept all the women (and girls - some were just 18) he met from dating apps on his Instagram. I had asked him multiple times who they were and he always just said “you know there’s no one on there except friends and rappers!” So I gaslit myself into thinking they were family friends. Nope turns out, they were all from dating apps. I only found out because I had a niggling feeling he wasn’t being truthful and basically had to grill him over a period of a month. Finally I noticed they we… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 11:08 AM |
| 31 | ‘Studies’ showing dad bods are more attractive to womenYes, exactly! Jason Momoa is fit as fck. It’s just these men have a healthy layer of fat over their muscle. Not multiple layers of fat over no muscle. These “dad bod” guys clearly work out, with their broad shoulders, muscular arms, chests, butt and legs. They just enjoy their food also and are healthy, and live their life. Most women are down with that because they probably don’t want a roided up gym rat who can’t enjoy a nice dinner out. The dad bods they think we mean are just unfit and unhea… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 10:40 AM |
| 8 | Can we just laugh about howSame. That’s been my experience too unfortunately. And unable to commit as the above posted said. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 10:14 AM |
| 29 | Can we just laugh about howFor sure. I could tell my father hated my mother’s guts but still kept her around. When she left, he didn’t care except for the fact he lost his live-in emotional punching bag, chef, cleaner, taxi driver, errand runner etc. I could tell my ex was priming me to become the above slowly, but his contempt bubbled over a little too much and his walking fleshlight walked out the door. He still tried to get me to come back for a while, I guess because he hadn’t quite warmed up a replacement fast enough… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 30/03/21 09:59 AM |
| 41 | Weekly FDS Chat/ Check InYes, this. I did once and never again. I’m sure I also had two other exes who were addicts, but for whatever reason they were lucky and their dicks still worked (I think they were also sex addicts though, as one of the did hire prostitutes a couple of times and I wouldn’t be surprised if the other did as he was always going on “boys trips” to third world countries before he met me. Plus both of those two actually used to get so weird if we ever had to walk past a sex shop... and weird around oth… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/21 01:14 PM |
| 69 | Don’t let them label you as ‘Second Best Girl’Also just to add - if this is how they treat women... you don’t want to be their number one anyway. They generally go for the easiest to manipulate/ get what they want from. I mean, look, he was holding onto random girls as backup plans when with his option A anyway... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 29/03/21 09:16 AM |
| 13 | I just left my porn addicted boyfriend, he was my first everything and I feel so stupid because I am struggling so much and I want to go back to him, please give me motivationOmg yes I remember that! I used to always call boyfriends out on that and my friends called me “crazy”. Exactly the same BS. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/21 03:55 AM |
| 6 | I just left my porn addicted boyfriend, he was my first everything and I feel so stupid because I am struggling so much and I want to go back to him, please give me motivationIt’s for the best. Trust me. Been there done that, as have many of us here. Porn addiction will absolutely tear you up inside as the partner. You will always wonder why you aren’t “good enough” and potentially gaslight yourself into think all men do it, but your self esteem will slowly melt away. Also, he is trickle truthing you. He did watch it, and he lied as you pointed out. Then he said he watching it but didn’t touch himself (I can say 99% sure he did!) then if he eventually admits to that … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/21 03:52 AM |
| 14 | What in the pickme hell did I just readUmmm what?! Not only is that a huge breach of trust and betrayal on both sides from the husband and sister, as if it wasn’t that bad they wouldn’t have to hide it. But the he also took advantage of a family member in her most vulnerable time. I know this stuff happens, but surely this can’t be real - especially with the ending. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/21 03:44 AM |
| 3 | This is why love-bombing and boundary pushing are red flags. They always escalate into poor behavior.So interesting! I never actually caught him cheating but had him lie by omission/ dodging the question multiple times about women I was concerned about. When he got rid of their contacts his behaviour changed with me big time - hot/cold, mind games and tests I couldn’t possibly pass, accusing me of not wanting to be with him, the verbal abuse, rolling eyes, more gaslighting (saying I was delusion/ crazy) and one of the sexual incidents. So perhaps it was because I got closer to the truth than I … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 27/03/21 03:02 AM |
| 17 | Tragic Example of The Mask Slipping AFTER Marriage and Baby. Always be willing and ABLE to LEAVE Sisters!!Wow that’s brutal and I can’t believe how he was so blatant with telling you that. I’m glad you seem to see the issues with him though and don’t just blindly protect him, like I’ve known some mothers and sisters to do (with my exes). But also, within my extended family. One of my aunts and cousins is nice as pie to the brother/sons wife ... to her face. But constantly nitpick at her behind her back - one of the things being that she has put on too much weight since she had their baby. Another is… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/21 02:11 PM |
| 98 | I really feel so sorry for this generation of women.Exactly. It doesn’t surprise me at all. If they can actually still get it up, they just jack hammer and literally physically assault women by acting out Porn scenarios. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/21 02:06 PM |
| 7 | This is why love-bombing and boundary pushing are red flags. They always escalate into poor behavior.This all makes so much sense. I used to feel sorry for them when I read they were fearful of abandonment but realised how dangerous they could become, even moreso as you placate them more. Many women are fearful of abandonment, especially with all the things we have to deal with in terms of competition and women being objects and sexualised everywhere, yet they don’t generally kill their partners out of fear of being alone. Also yes, I’m sure mine would’ve been a cheater and/or batterer if I did… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 25/03/21 12:25 AM |
| 5 | Love to see women supporting and looking out for other women 👏Damn that’s sad. I think it’s so easy to minimise the violence to yourself, due to cognitive dissonance thinking the abuser also loves you like you love them, so their violence wasn’t that bad. Also, being beaten down mentally/ emotionally/ physically to think they deserved it as they aren’t like other victims, thinking they are “difficult” and deserved it. As well as still having that fear that the abuser is all seeing and all knowing - and will punish them further, especially if they get out. … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 03:10 PM |
| 8 | Love to see women supporting and looking out for other women 👏Exactly. I will never forget when I worked in the courts. A woman was appearing to have a restraining order taken off her husband. And she was pale AF in the face and looked terrified but said all the “right” things to get the restraining order lifted. Her abuser was sitting right opposite in court staring her down. It was so sad. Edit: I actually had the same experience when I was 19! I just remembered that. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 03:07 PM |
| 6 | For the Military guys, marriage and kids means a bigger paycheck for them. It's not always about love.Interesting! I’ve had a guy from the military literally push me to date him for two years. We went on about 5 dates. I called it off as I became exclusive with someone else. He then wanted to be my “friend” but always pushed boundaries and conversations were always one way (he ignores what I say). I started declining his “friend” catch ups. Because he pushed boundaries twice - once kissed me, but I pulled away and asserted we could only be friends. But he called and messaged all the time. I cave… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 02:40 PM |
| 8 | This is why love-bombing and boundary pushing are red flags. They always escalate into poor behavior.This is such an excellent representation of what happens - thanks for sharing. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 01:49 PM |
| 7 | This is why love-bombing and boundary pushing are red flags. They always escalate into poor behavior.Same. I had a very similar experience and he was also funny about money. It always had a price attached to it though, as anytime anything was wrong I couldn’t bring it up because I would get his spending thrown in my face. Or even if I didn’t smile enough or didn’t say “how high” when he said to jump, then I would get ridiculed and belittled and have “look at what I’ve done for you!!!” Thrown in my face. He started to act very hot and cold, and just with pure contempt, psychological abuse ramped… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 01:49 PM |
| 7 | I’ve had to use this so many times, sadly it doesn’t always work..Right?! The level of entitlement is insane. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 12:51 PM |
| 3 | I’ve had to use this so many times, sadly it doesn’t always work..Yep. Same! And they barely look either. Until the bf was out of sight. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 12:35 PM |
| 2 | I’ve had to use this so many times, sadly it doesn’t always work..Yep! Additionally, if they don’t act aggressively and act out towards her, then will take a “no I’m not interested” and imagine it to have a “yet” on the end, as if she’s playing hard to get. Then they will keep chasing or play the friends card and continue to push boundaries. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 24/03/21 12:30 PM |
| 11 | For those of you looking for signs of him being "Just Not That Into You": this is it!Haha I’ve done that too. I deleted all evidence of a few of them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 02:30 PM |
| 16 | Your life does not end at 18 nor your worth as a womanRight?! I’m almost 35 and I got carded for alcohol the other day - by a girl that looked barely 18 herself heh. And look, I don’t take it as a compliment because youth shouldn’t be equated with beauty so highly. But our experiences go to show, that they legit cannot tell the difference if a woman looks after herself (and I’m not even all that rigid or dedicated to it - but I’m trying to get better!) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:28 PM |
| 11 | Your life does not end at 18 nor your worth as a womanYep, unfortunately! But once you get out of it, you never go back (thank goodness - it’s one depressing place to be). Even though you realise male attention doesn’t stop at 25/30, you realise it’s not worth a pinch of sh*t and actually start to resent it. I find myself silently rolling my eyes because it’s annoying! Of course, not if they are respectful men who treat you like a human. But they aren’t the ones that are in your face all the time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:25 PM |
| 15 | Your life does not end at 18 nor your worth as a womanSuch a good reminder for everyone here :) | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:21 PM |
| 29 | Your life does not end at 18 nor your worth as a womanCan confirm. Even the “hot” tradies who have six packs and good arms generally have leathery skin from being in the sun all day with no sun screen, premature wrinkling, dried out lips, and just look rough from the drugs and alcohol. I feel like party life is really big in Australia in comparison to other places, but I could be wrong. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 23/03/21 01:20 PM |
| 6 | She told him straight and held to her ideals - a Reddit GOAT post from years ago.Very true! I have a gf who pays child support to her baby daddy, as they weren’t married, and he hides his earnings (family business). She’s been to the tax department so many times but they won’t do a thing. Oh, and she has the child most of the time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 02:39 PM |
| 3 | KEY WATCHING For Online Daters And In General! BE AWARE !=Key Takeaways-DO NOT Reveal Past Trauma And Do Not Demonstrate Being A Hopeful ROMANTIC!!!! Good As Confirmed "Romance" Is A Game Men Run On WOMEN...I agree, the information is invaluable, especially the specifics about certain situations and tactics. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 01:19 PM |
| 10 | Woody Allen is the REAL victim according to Dr Todd Grande and his many fan....I’m too angry to watch the video - but exactly? What does that matter? They were never married but he was still her step-father for the role he played in her life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 01:16 PM |
| 2 | SAFETY TIP: IF A MAN ASKS YOU FOR HELPSuch a good point to talk about how he just kept testing women until he found one vulnerable enough. There’s a domestic violence counselling framework called “shark cage” which talks about this theory, and basically how predators will keep testing women and the ones with strong “shark cages” (aka creep metres/ boundaries) will usually repel these predators, and the predators will test until they find a woman with a weak shark cage. Course, you’ll also get the predators that like the challenge, b… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 10:58 AM |
| 8 | SAFETY TIP: IF A MAN ASKS YOU FOR HELPI think it’s good to add in “nice” like you did, because I feel like charming can conjure up an image of someone who is quite outgoing and complimentary. Sometimes these people can be very quiet and seem innocent also, I guess there’s a “charm” to that too though, and they come across as very “nice”... almost too nice and you can’t put your finger on exactly what it is that doesn’t sit right with you. They can also be very dangerous people to get involved with. I had an ex like this. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 10:47 AM |
| 5 | A reminder that porn ruined relationships and livesI found that recently too. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 09:50 AM |
| 16 | No surprise that 95% of the stories here are about men.Yea, that, or a boyfriend saying his girlfriend is “scary” when she yells back at him for being abusive. These guys have no idea what fear for your life really is. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 09:30 AM |
| 19 | She told him straight and held to her ideals - a Reddit GOAT post from years ago.This enraged me!!! She’s a deadbeat mom - she never fcking wanted to be a mom!!! Plus she pays far more child support than any other man usually would! She went through the whole pregnancy and birth for HIM to have the child because he demanded her to keep the baby or made her feel guilty for wanting an abortion. She knew she didnt want this for her life but still sacrificed her body and health for HIM. What a selfish POS this guy is. This guy actually disgusts me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 20/03/21 09:22 AM |
| 1 | Men engage in violence with other men in a whole different way than with women. With men, it's a "battle of the equals" where the other man is given a heads-up of what is about to happen. Women don't get a warning because men really don't see us as equals.Exactly! It frustrates me that they try to rationalise it that way. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 11:10 AM |
| 2 | I finally broke up with him, thanks to FDS.Aw, hang in there! You’re doing well and we all have your back. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 04:35 AM |
| 3 | Never let a man know how bad he hurt youThat’s true, I wondered why she said that too... I’m half wondering if they know what he’s like, but to “protect” the family they just spurt out blind loyalty like that. Or perhaps she doesn’t know what he’s really like and just feels sorry for him that I left him and I’m “bad” because apparently he’s a really good person. Strange It’s good to know that you know what your brother is like though! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 04:34 AM |
| 7 | VIBE CHECK: Scrotes who play devils advocate 🤡So sorry that happened to you! It’s re-traumatising when people invalidate your experience like that, because it can make you think you’re being too sensitive | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 04:32 AM |
| 1 | Men engage in violence with other men in a whole different way than with women. With men, it's a "battle of the equals" where the other man is given a heads-up of what is about to happen. Women don't get a warning because men really don't see us as equals.Exactly! And if they do ask that, they sympathise with the man far too much. So yes he may have abandonment issues or whatever - but that doesn’t mean a woman should have to accept the abuse. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 04:30 AM |
| 3 | Her Face is A MoodSuch a good point! So scary. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 18/03/21 04:29 AM |
| 5 | Women over 30: I know you think "the wall" is silly and therefore not worth talking about. But please remember you aren't the target of that propaganda. It's not meant to hurt you. It's meant to hurt us (women under 30).That’s so awesome to hear about your mother not dating after she got rid of her violent ex. I think we can have a tendency to think the grass is always greener. I know I did (sometimes do) when thinking about my ex and his family. But really I’m grieving my perfect ideal extended family, who I only knew for a few months. I’m not actually factoring in the abuse at the hands of my ex, the devaluation, and the fact that big families can also have very messy politics and in-laws can end up showing t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 01:31 PM |
| 3 | Women over 30: I know you think "the wall" is silly and therefore not worth talking about. But please remember you aren't the target of that propaganda. It's not meant to hurt you. It's meant to hurt us (women under 30).Same, the men I attract are hotter now than when I was in my 20s. Unfortunately they are also more practised at running game, so I also wouldn’t say they are HVM most of the time. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 01:28 PM |
| 3 | Men who whine that women being scared of men is "bad for men's mental health" are the ones you need to watch out for ESPECIALLY. Pity plays are the #1 red flag for sociopaths and narcissists.Yes! Such a good (and very sad) example. I looked into this case closely recently and it baffles and infuriates me how many people still side with him. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 01:18 PM |
| 6 | Never let a man know how bad he hurt youWe’ve all been there! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 01:00 PM |
| 11 | Never let a man know how bad he hurt youMy ex became verbally abusive to me and just plain nasty, psychologically abusive and I was worried it would escalate to physical. I contacted his sister a couple of months after to thank the family for their acceptance of me and their time and that I would miss them (I didn’t even mention anything about what he did). She was lovely when she replied but she defended him out of nowhere. Which made me doubt myself and my experience more. My advice would be not to contact them and try to find your … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:57 PM |
| 5 | Remove the boot, ladiesThis is such a fantastic explanation. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:45 PM |
| 6 | Men engage in violence with other men in a whole different way than with women. With men, it's a "battle of the equals" where the other man is given a heads-up of what is about to happen. Women don't get a warning because men really don't see us as equals.Same. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:42 PM |
| 6 | Men engage in violence with other men in a whole different way than with women. With men, it's a "battle of the equals" where the other man is given a heads-up of what is about to happen. Women don't get a warning because men really don't see us as equals.I relate so much to what you said in your last paragraph. I hope you’re ok. It’s incredible traumatic having to work through all the abuse we experience as women. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:41 PM |
| 7 | Men engage in violence with other men in a whole different way than with women. With men, it's a "battle of the equals" where the other man is given a heads-up of what is about to happen. Women don't get a warning because men really don't see us as equals.You make so many great points. It’s unbelievable how in 2021 people still victim blame women who experience domestic violence at the hands of their male partners. Whether it’s because she “should have left sooner” or “she caused it because she’s too much to handle” it does so much damage to women in these situations. It’s absolutely heart breaking. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:39 PM |
| 14 | Her Face is A MoodHoly crap. And that’s self-reported. What about the ones who lie... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 12:19 PM |
| 38 | VIBE CHECK: Scrotes who play devils advocate 🤡Agreed. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 10:04 AM |
| 233 | VIBE CHECK: Scrotes who play devils advocate 🤡Yes!!! Thank you for sharing!!! I am SO sick of hearing people say “yea but maybe he read you wrong/ got the wrong idea/ didn’t know you wouldn’t like it” after I tell them about my initial assault from a man I slept with and then a later rape (when I was semi conscious) when we were in a relationship. It boils my fucking blood. The assault scared the crap out of me. I’ve shared before and I’ll share again - we went to bed on our 2nd date. I was lying down. He looks like he’s opening a packet of… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 10:04 AM |
| 55 | The friend zone doesn't existSo true! Such an unspoken pressure that so many of us feel. And look, I know women love sex just as much as men (not advocating for casual sex here btw because of the inherent power imbalance). But some of the time we feel pressured when we don’t even know if we like these guys, and also, when we aren’t even sure if we are going to be safe emotionally and physically. I think so many women have even felt pressured because the guy took them on an a dinner date and paid, then expected sex, even if … | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 17/03/21 09:55 AM |
| 2 | How do you avoid casual sex, especially when you are horny, single and wants to remain single?Love the honesty in your comment. Same for me. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 12:35 PM |
| 4 | On leaving partnersThis is a really good point to drive home. I would also add that even if he hasn’t been physically abusive yet, doesn’t mean he won’t become when you tell him you’re leaving and he loses his sense of control over you. Always listen to your gut and if you have even the smallest idea that he could get violent, don’t tell him in person. You don’t owe anything to someone who is abusing you (remember the “nice” periods are part of the abuse). Similarly, don’t go back to talk things over (if you’ve le… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 11:34 AM |
| 5 | On leaving partners100% | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 11:30 AM |
| 2 | "A high value man won't wait 3 months for sex"The egos on these guys! Seriously. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 11:02 AM |
| 3 | I finally broke up with him, thanks to FDS.This made me tear up because I feel your pain and went through something similar (the girls were just regular girls off dating apps that he met before me, but lied about it multiple times when I asked, then gaslit, verbally abused, stonewalled, ridiculed, intimidated me for questioning him on why he lied). You, my friend, are one hell of a strong woman. I don’t know you but I am so proud of you. You left soon enough, think about it, you could have stayed and turned a blind eye like so many women… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 10:55 AM |
| 7 | Promising Young Woman has been nominated for 5 oscars!! Including a nomination for Best Picture!Oh I really want to see this! I make take myself to the movies this weekend to watch it. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 16/03/21 10:45 AM |
| 2 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.Yes! It’s so common and it’s so infuriating when they do this to you. It’s making me so angry and sick thinking back to the episodes where my ex would turn everything upside down, confuse me, then tell me I was being aggressive or abusive when I raised my voice even slightly, when I was reacting to his shit. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 01:36 PM |
| 2 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.Yes 100% on the bpd, I have thought this for a while and have also read something along these lines before. I also think most men that are labelled with bpd are actually more likely to be narcissistic or antisocial... | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 01:15 PM |
| 2 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.Haha I relate to this so hard. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 01:13 PM |
| 2 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.So glad you got out of those relationships! The second one - he sounds like a narcissist for sure. Exactly like my ex who would get pissed off and go hot and cold, and finally give me the silent treatment, until I would bring up one of my grievances (because of his behaviour - like being hot and cold) and he would go OFF because he was obviously baiting me. Then he would bring up all these “slights” such as using the wrong emoji, my tone of voice one day when we spoke on the phone wasn’t happy e… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 01:11 PM |
| 4 | How many of you “developed” issues while in a relationship? I’ll go first: depression and anxiety. Cured as soon as we broke up.I had a DV counsellor once tell me that it’s common for women to say to her “my depression/anxiety/bpd/eating disorder/bipolar/alcoholism/drug addiction walked right out the door when he did.” - pretty telling the impact that abuse has on a woman’s life. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 01:03 PM |
| 3 | Men aren’t active parents. In fact, many of them are burdens to the women they’re married to. Their lives get easier when married, but the women’s lives come to a complete standstill.You are one strong woman! Glad you are free of him now. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 12:45 PM |
| 1 | Is anyone feeling particularly sad for their pick-me mom after finding this subreddit?Such an excellent way to put it and really helps to put things into perspective for those who may feel the pressure to get married and have a family. By all means, if women do want to do that, then go ahead and just do their best to make sure it’s with a good man. But for all those women who feel pressured and rushed when they are 30+ and end up in relationships and tied down to unhealthy men - I really hope they can see what you’re saying first. This IS the first time women have the resources t… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 12:42 PM |
| 20 | Why do people think women are being tricked/manipulated into casual sex?Yes. Been there, bought the t-shirt. Many of us have. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 12:03 PM |
| 6 | A clown in his natural habitatExactly! Sad thing is... I think she’s still with him. I never got to meet her because I left his friend (my ex) within 6 months. She had been with this guy for 5 years and counting... she had no family over here either. Wish I could have met her, but I couldn’t stand my abusive narc ex for another minute. Oh also, he said that they had just started saying “I love you” and growing closer since she moved out into her own place. My guess is he thought he had her tied down so stopped being loving a… | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:43 AM |
| 7 | Sex posi women are not our friends. You cannot change my mindSome of the women in this younger gen just make me so freaking excited. This is the type of woman we need - unafraid to speak out, and especially in relatable terms/ fashion. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:35 AM |
| 3 | BDSM and IPV (intimate partner violence) are related. Men look for women who tolerate BDSM because they know there’s a better chance they’ll be able to abuse them non-sexually. Hopefully this poor girl makes it out alive.Yes. Started a relationship with a man who violently assaulted me on our first sexual encounter (no talk of bdsm in any way shape or form prior), and ended with him raping while in and out of consciousness. Even if he had asked for consent the first time, I would have now run in the other direction - there’s much deeper issues at play. (Not to mention all the emotional and psychological abuse in between). | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:32 AM |
| 5 | BDSM and IPV (intimate partner violence) are related. Men look for women who tolerate BDSM because they know there’s a better chance they’ll be able to abuse them non-sexually. Hopefully this poor girl makes it out alive.This is exactly what I thought. Perhaps she’s even forgotten her own child abuse. I wonder how much that happens when kids grow up with fantasies like these it’s hard to imagine how else they’ve come up with them. | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:21 AM |
| 3 | A clown in his natural habitatAlso men: I can hold my dick better than you! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:06 AM |
| 4 | A clown in his natural habitatExactly! Like, what does he even like about women then?! | /r/FemaleDatingStrategy | 15/03/21 11:00 AM |
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