Weekly FDS Chat / Check-in

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-03-22T09:39:02+00:00

[permanently deleted]

annrike1 · 2021-03-22T09:46:43+00:00

What kind of feminist graffity do you want to see?

There is a giant dick spreyed on the walls of my neighbourhood and I want to put something more beautyful on top of it.

Any ideas?

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-03-22T13:12:00+00:00

Guess who's the proud new owner of an autoharp AND a banjo?? I found them both at the thrift store. My neighbors are going to hate me lol.

JustPeachyyyyyyyy · 2021-03-22T09:50:42+00:00

Online uni is burning me out so bad. I’m so sick of waking up and sitting at my computer all day. It’s like I’m stuck in an endless loop. I constantly dream about the day I get to step foot into my uni and attend in-person classes, network, go to events, etc. I’m in my first year currently so online is all I’ve ever done so far. I only have one more month until finals, but I don’t know how I’ll make it without going insane or dropping out 😓

File-Own · 2021-03-22T12:31:54+00:00

Lockdown is ending in my country and spring's here, I should be happy but there's also been an increase in the amount of sexual harassment I've been experiencing. Scrotes gon scrote. At least during lockdown/cold weather they were less bold/more likely to be indoors. I live in a "nice" area/city, too, it would be even worse if I lived somewhere like where I went to university.

Making me not want to go outside SMFH.

RacePinkBlack · 2021-03-22T12:48:27+00:00

The post FDS resentment I have for my low value mother is insane. Only two more months until I move out of the house!

licoricespicedtea · 2021-03-22T13:28:33+00:00

Was telling one of my friends about why I broke up with my ex and she literally exclaimed “the audacity!” Was quite validating, also wondering if she is here haha

In other news the apartment search is going well. I think I found a place with a great layout in a great location and most importantly the cutest old built-in cabinets!

My ex has tried to get me to do the work of looking for an apartment for him too. I told him he could pay me the rate my actual work pays me if he wants help. He’s also been complaining that his lips are always chapped since apparently he’s incapable of buying chapstick himself, just mooching off mine.

Both my parents and now my grandparents too have told me how sad they are we broke up and said he’s “a nice boy from a good background” and I should take a breath and reevaluate if I want to break up. Umm no.

pretty_kill · 2021-03-22T14:29:42+00:00

I had bought Derrek Jaxn’s book Dont Forget Your Crown awhile ago.

Since this drama came out about him cheating, and his live stream explaining it, I’ve just gotten weird vibes from him. Like he never said why his wife left him and took the kids, but he claimed up and down he didn’t sleep with anyone else while they were separated, and I am just highly doubtful. Because he also talks about doing drugs and flying to Miami to hang out with another woman. I’m just super sus.

Anyways, I skimmed his book, and there were several passages about how “communication” is the cornerstone of marriages, and how women need to communicate if something is wrong. Now I’m just hella cringing at him, and wishing I didn’t buy his book. I know a lot of women are against male dating coaches, but he is recommended in the FDS guide somewhere... so yeah, that’s my experience with him. Didn’t think it warranted a whole thread.

princessdiane · 2021-03-22T15:44:08+00:00

Something just clicked for me this weekend. One of my friends said something that felt off to me and instead of my usual avoiding confrontation at all costs and telling myself I'm overreacting I decided to bring it up with him.

I am so, so glad I did. I learned that he is unwilling to be honest with me and would rather gaslight me and feign ignorance and helplessness than own up to his behavior. After our call, he messaged me basically confirming what I originally thought was true, but this was after he'd just spent half an hour saying shit like "I'm sorry if you felt that way" and "we just need to communicate better". Even after admitting to it, he didn't apologize or make any attempts at promising to do better, just made it all about him and his upset and confused feelings. I lost all respect for him and am mentally pretty much done with the friendship. I considered trying to communicate a third time with him about the issue but what's even the point? I got the confirmation I needed and I am not in the business of fighting for the bare minimum anymore.

What clicked into place for me was such a deep sense of embarrassment for my past self. All those times I was being the chill girl not making waves or standing up for myself, these guys were probably ecstatic with how naive and gullible I was, and how easily they could disrespect me and I'd be like "oh no worries yeah totally fine nbd". Just so, so, embarrassed at all the times I've been gaslit and accepted it unquestioningly. And realizing that if I had stood up for myself the first time, I wouldn't have wasted 3 years on this friendship. Overall, a pretty bittersweet realization 🥲

throwaway32132134 · 2021-03-22T16:18:12+00:00

Hi, I just wanted recommendations for more books that are FDS friendly. I'm currently listening to the audiobook of Why does he do that. It's fantastic. Anyways yeah I'm looking for books that will change my thinking. I also am a big fan of books that tie in sociology concepts. Even books around boundaries, communication styles.

Here's some books ive read so people have an idea for recommendations:

Daring greatly, daring to lead, hood feminism, outgrowing good, quit like a women, the nature fix, leaders eat last, a woman is no man, never enough and there's no good card for this.

My post seems to ramble, but i would love to pick everyone's brain! LOL let me know if there is more clarification needed.

fogplum · 2021-03-22T18:37:40+00:00

Does anyone else have to deal with friends that ask you every time you see them - "how's the dating scene?", "any new guys?", etc? As if I haven't told them 5 times before that I'm not dating right now and I'm not interested in dating right now. Do they not listen or do they just not care? I'm tired of repeating myself. One of them is an old friend with whom at least we can talk about anything and everything. One of them is a new friend that's going through a recent breakup and making questionable choices...I'm trying to be compassionate but I'm losing my patience with her. 90% of the time she wants to talk about men - her ex, her current shitty fwb, or men in general. She's one of those women who's all "men are trash" but simultaneously obsessed with men. Like please pick one.
I'm tired.

Jinxhourglass · 2021-03-23T02:13:31+00:00

Someone on here once said they’re tired of running into guys where it’s obvious that the last book they read was green eggs and ham. I think about that a lot.

fogplum · 2021-03-22T20:30:05+00:00

Also some random porn account followed me on reddit. WTF.

ragnarockette · 2021-03-22T23:20:53+00:00

Has anyone been paying attention to this Deshaun Watson scandal? Now up to 22 women (all masseuses who were just trying to do their fucking job) accusing him of sexual assault. I read the text from one of the accusations and it made me seethe. What the fuck is wrong with men?!

Does every man who makes like $1M or more have “sudden onset mental illness” where they can only get off by forcing unwilling women into sex acts? Or are all men like this and we only hear about the famous ones? Probably the latter which is why FDS exists.

xpressurself111 · 2021-03-23T00:40:34+00:00

I didn’t know the severity of how large of a red flag this was until I found FDS: My ex was a proud misogynistic, AWALT redpiller...I was a proud PickMe at the time so I read into it. I hated the whole idea, until I found a Christian subsection. I kept trying to make it make sense, I’m a Christian, this should speak to me right?? It was not the community I needed. Huge yikes. I searched ‘dating advice women’ on Reddit after my breakup, with no intention of dating any time soon since I was healing, and couldn’t fathom it. Thankfully FDS was the first hit, and the name turned me off maybe a little, but once I read the manual, I was all in. Anyway, from someone who almost fell into the red pill trap, I am a happy, healthy, single woman who lives a very Christian life with a heavy emphasis on FDS/FLUS as well. Anyway, just wanted to share how I came to the sub. AMA, if you desire.

_RustInPiece_ · 2021-03-23T02:26:14+00:00

I'm finally reading Lundy Bancroft's "Why does he do that?". Such a great book, every page is filled with so much truth. Highly recommended.

_insert_username_01 · 2021-03-23T17:30:01+00:00

This past week was good. This last weekend, I did yard work. (Hello Spring!) This week, I have two days off for Spring Break and have two appointments scheduled: Dentist & Doctor.

Title	Weekly FDS Chat / Check-in
Author	Unlikely-Marzipan
Upvotes	34
Comments	41
Date	March 22, 2021 9:30 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/majdwg/weekly_fds_chat_checkin/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/weekly-fds-chat-check-in.1189905 https://theredarchive.com/post/1189905

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