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siddmartha Archive

View 0 posts and 145 comments by siddmartha on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
14

Ugh yea those girls are honestly kind of toxic. There are other really great podcasts about relationships/sex not from two white chicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:13 AM
38

I think a lot of people just do the quiz without the context of the whole book. Taking the quiz alone without context won't help in understanding yourself. All the love languages are important equally but you may prefer one thing a little bit more than another. When I took the quiz my top two had the same score, the middle two had around the same sore and the last one was like a 1 being gift. It doesn't mean that I do not like giving or receiving gifts - it just means it's not the most important…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 05:39 PM
2

I keep tons of pads and tampons around my house as well as in various bags/purses and my car...mostly for myself but if any of my girl friends need it they are welcome to my stash. I think that if it's an unopened box it's okay? But also it could be leftover from past exes or sisters...depends on the context..so be wary. If anything it could be something to ask about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 06:30 PM
37

Well lol I think most docs have narcissistic tendencies.. You don't want someone NOT thinking they are the best at what they are doing operating on you. And going through med school you meet SOOO MANY people who are just absolutely full of themselves - only makes sense that as they get older it gets worse. Haven't dated any lawyers yet but guess I'm gunna be avoiding them now lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/20 05:21 PM
4

Ugh I hate men who say this shit. Most of the time they also have a high N count but it doesn't count for them. Ask them why anyone would want to sleep with them - and watch them spout more nonsense. It's usually useless to try and engage with these men though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/20 06:24 PM
13

LMAOOO this is legit hilarious. I hope this never worked on anyone...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:06 PM
8

Is it something you can live with and ACTUALLY forgive and not just bring up again and again later? You can't control another person's actions, so you just have to have trust that they will keep their word and be committed to changing and never doing whatever they did again. Otherwise, you teach people how to treat you..if this is something that you feel like by forgiving you are lowering your standards any inch. Listen to yourself.. DUMP and move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/20 11:13 PM
2

Ann Taylor Loft has some really good sales every once in a while, their petite sizes are great for shorties. You could try looking for specific pieces on Etsy and Ebay, I've had really good luck with both. Thrifting is fun when you have the time and the patience to look through the racks for good quality things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 04:22 AM
3

Yea..not surprised. I noticed it around 11-12 as well. In 7th grade a male teacher asked me if I shaved my legs...and I told a friend and she told the principal. We all had a meeting and he apologized to me and said he didn't mean to make me uncomfortable.. then he was fired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:16 PM
5

Omg! I love Designing Women! I don't know many people my age who have seen it lol I used to watch it all the time with my mom when I was younger.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:03 PM
23

I felt like Avatar was just Pocahontas, but with aliens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 08:01 PM
17

OMG I literally had to beg a good friend of mine to NOT go on a first date to this man's house cuz he wanted to cook her dinner... She rationalized it by saying he's a doctor, he volunteers with kids...oh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 11:03 PM
4

Oh God lol me too..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 04:17 PM
16

The plastic leaks into the food... it's also bad to leave plastic water bottles in the heat as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 03:58 PM
9

LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/20 08:48 PM
3

Okay..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 11:32 PM
8

Yes, the media is kind of sensationalizing Covid-19 ...It is mostly older folks and generally any one over 30 that is being effected by the virus. The symptoms are also more mild than the flu. In Italy, there is a crisis..they have more docs per capita compared to here in the US and they are SWAMPED..they are having to make life or death decisions. That is reality there and could be in the US as well. Social distancing WORKS - stay away from people, wash your hands, don't touch your face. Stop p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/20 09:32 PM
31

Omg this is my friend =( She and her baby daddy just broke up. And one of the reasons he said they broke up was because she gained weight and it was mainly her stomach that was ugly... I told her that is fucked up, they have a horrible relationship/friendship. But she was like I asked for it, I basically made him tell me that stuff, we have an honest relationship....girl...I didn't know what to say. I don't understand this..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/20 12:43 AM
4

Omg lol the Four Man Plan vid is so entertaining and really good strategy to keep up a mantris lol or "hoe-tation".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/20 11:43 PM
11

I operate like this as well.. I'm definitely an open book but there are ways to hold back lol and also if you give just enough they are more willing to open up to you and you.. It could be me though..I have randoms always telling me their life stories and secrets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/20 01:52 AM
8

I also love really deeply and very hard...it's either all or nothing for me in terms of affection in both my friendships and relationships.Do what you want as long as it serves YOU and think of your motivations for those actions. If you're doing it to get something in return from another person (you're not going to be able to control another person's actions) or to portray a certain "vibe" other than your own, take a step back and reevaluate the why.. are your actions serving you? And just be aw…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/20 03:55 PM
21

Learning to love yourself will get you to take care of your self. Feeling comfortable and confident in your body at any weight is what really matters. It's who you are at your core and that won't really change regardless of what you look like on the outside.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 07:43 PM
17

This is a super sweet story!! And great advice. But I have to disagree with the first point.. It's honestly a different dating environment than before.. and finding out a bit of information (simple google search) about the person you're going on a date with is never bad. When I got for any kind of interview I always look up information about whoever is going to interview me or about the company.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 04:55 PM
13

It's happened to me a lot lol especially with my ex. The men who hit on you probably think you're "too good" for your ex or think they can "steal" you from your ex. It's probably a dumb power move. Although I did befriend one of these guys who would hit on me subtly while my ex was around and he said that we really didn't fit and thats why he would hit on me. With my current BF though, it's only happened once. And the guy looked at me but saw my BF behind me and was said "Is she your GF?? She's …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 10:01 PM
4

In my dating days I would totally do this to men lol.. I'd ask them out first though, to make things on my terms.. Drink dates meant their inhibitions would be lowered and I could ask probing questions they wouldn't otherwise answer. I would normally have one drink and soda the rest of the time. This could be a good way to vet a guy you just want a FWB situation with. But I totally agree. Drink dates are just as expensive as dinner dates, especially in a large city. And it's all about control an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 06:36 PM
3

I think inexperience does not make a HVM...maybe he def has HVM qualities. Hard to make a judge now if he is a HVM or not now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 07:08 PM
15

Wouldn't a HVM be experienced and know what to do already? He should be seeking and researching how to be better on his own time.Unless you really want to be his teacher...I'd probably just move on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:41 PM
14

I've heard "You're really pretty for a (insert race here) women...BUT really it's a compliment! You're gorgeous!" It's both a micro-agression and negging. Dude how can you put down my race/ethnicity and call that a compliment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 05:22 PM
8

I mean if he doesn't clean..he should have the sense and also be making enough to hire someone to come and clean his house..regularly. My BF's sister is married to someone who does not know how to clean...and so she refuses to clean too. So he hires someone to come over almost everyday to clean lol..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:24 PM
6

I think it's pretty common social etiquette that whoever invites someone out pays..Even my gay male friends who invite me out pay for me. If you invite someone out, you'd probably do the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 04:09 PM
39

Lol I honestly think it's a red flag for me if a guy loves this show, same with How I Met your Mother. Red flag because it's just the opposite of my kind of humor and because this show is seriously dumb..and if you enjoy it I most probably will not really get along with you. I'm pretty "nerdy and geeky" and none of the content on the show is interesting or funny.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 03:59 PM
11

I've dated Asian American men and I don't find that the case with the ones I dated. It could be just his personality, maybe it depends on how long you've dated and whether you both feel comfortable and safe expressing how you feel. Funnily enough the men who were emotionally distant from me have been white men, I normally date POC.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/20 07:50 PM
1

Oh yea, my mom and I get that all the time.. I can tell when it's about to happen too, they take a stare at my mom and then at me and out it comes. I agree that it's a really weird and really uncomfortable thing to say to someone because of course there are a ton of similarities with mother and child. BUT my mom and I actually do look alike regardless of age difference, we get the same comments from men and women. When women say it, they are usually a bit older and love to say that I look like m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 06:41 PM
13

WOW she is gorgeous! In some pics she and her daughter look like sisters.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 07:36 PM
8

Agreed. My fridge can get empty as well but I still have a ton of condiments and sauces in the fridge. That’s a sign of someone who actually cooks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 03:52 PM
2

Whats wrong with negotiating terms of a relationship? I think having a clear expectations of what you want in a committed relationship are important. Relationships go through cycles and sometimes what you want or expect changes. Check-ins for terms of a relationship are a must for long lasting relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 01:00 AM
1

Lol yep! I don't mind a curved one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 09:38 PM
7

OMG how out of touch is he that he makes his wife cry and still feels justified in his actions??? Going on the internet to get validation from other assholes doesn't make his actions any better. I feel so bad for the wife.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 03:32 PM
14

I was going to say the same. I dated someone who had only slept with a few people before me... Maybe it was due to confidence and weight issues growing up but he always felt like he missed out in his younger days by not being able to sleep around as much. And as such when he moved to a different city for grad school and lost weight he shortly cheating on me. I've never slept with a man who had a crazy high number so I can't say anything to that personally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/20 07:27 PM
7

YES! Even my OB/GYN, who is a female, has a female nurse in the room with her while doing examinations. It is fairly common practice now. If not OP should ask!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 08:28 PM
19

Yes! I love this movie. It's hilarious. I focused more on the friendship aspect of it, because thats what the movie is about and the love interests are more of a side story. But yea she gets rid of the douche bag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 02:21 AM
10

I have no idea...the only solid example of a relationship in my life is my uncle and his partner: they adopted a child and are like crazy happy. I can only hope to have a relationship like that. I don't think I have any examples of healthy straight married couples in my life lol My aunts husband literally goes around telling other family members that he's miserable and he's such an amazing person for not leaving my aunt.. I think the trick is to communicate, TALK A LOT, ARGUE, HASH IT OUT.. Most…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/02/20 05:38 PM
2

Freshwater by Akwaeke Emezi is on my to- read list too! I bought Packinko a few weeks ago to read and haven't gotten around to it yet. Min Jin Lee is a great writer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:53 PM
6

A Tree Grows in Brooklyn - Betty Smith Their Eyes were Watching God - Zora Neale Hurston (NOT religious at all. More of story of a women's life and her search for independence. The writing has A LOT of colloquialism/ebonics - you get used to it) Mama Day - Gloria Naylor Free food for Millionaires - Min Jin Lee These are all novels with really strong complex female main characters. The stories are beautifully written and all my favorites lol. I"m also looking to read more books by WOC, any sugges…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:36 PM
3

Second this! I love Daughter of Fortune and Portrait in Sepia!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/20 05:14 PM
19

This is so true. Low socioeconomic status often drive people to take risks they normally wouldn't. Asian women who are "well to do" are usually the boss of their households. Especially Shanghainese women..the stereotype is that the men make money and they come home and hand it all over to their wives lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 08:24 PM
3

I watch out for people in general with small teeth.. or chiclet teeth as I call them. My grandma always told me that people with small teeth are liars..and I've found it to be true. And general dental care..brush your teeth, make sure your breath don't stank. I look at nails, how well kept they are is usually a good sign of how they take care of themselves. I know men who work in construction, working in literal dirt and they manage to keep their nails clean. I won't date someone over 6'3. I'm p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/20 02:53 AM
4

I love Aly Art on youtube. She makes really in-depth videos with good examples for what you should wear/make up/hair style for your body type or even skin tone. I took a quiz to found out my kibbe body type (theatrical romantic, even though I'm pretty petite). I find influencers or actresses who have similar body types to mine for clothing inspiration as well. Something that can also help you feel more comfortable in clothes is getting them tailored! When I was younger my dad would take me to th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/20 11:55 PM
14

I think specifically saying that you're "not like other GIRLS" is a major red flag and NOT a compliment. It's just another way men pit women against other women. I would say he doesn't take the time to know women as people. I've also had that kind of "compliment" thrown at me but I've never shirked away from openly showing my opinions or distaste at a man's actions or words. It's honestly just a thing men say thinking it'll make a woman feel special and that they are so different to them..it's l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/20 07:19 PM
15

I’m glad you are in a better place now! I had an ex tell me one of his co-workers would visit this kinds of “happy ending” massage places... and I told him he should be reported you the police because it’s illegal and he’s basically supporting sex trafficking. His reply was “No way, he’s a family man. I don’t want to ruin his life”... Houston is one of the main hubs for sex trafficking as well so they are all over the place..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/01/20 04:50 PM
1

I've done this at a club in Vegas and they won't listen to you. This guy kept following my friends and I around and dancing close to us...I even shouted in his ear to go away...He didn't care. They're creeps who don't think what they're doing is wrong until a man/bouncer or person in "authority" tells them to leave you alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 06:00 PM
21

I've also found that a lot of men are also into cam girls..and chatting to actual women who will do sexual things "for them" but really to a chat room of dudes. I had an ex years ago who said it was better because it's an actual person...they don't pay them so it's okay to watch it and I shouldn't feel any type of way....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/12/19 04:17 PM
43

EXCEPTION: incels that hate their sisters for receiving more sexual attention then they do. This is so disgusting.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 09:49 PM
17

I believe this to be true. I'm currently dating someone who has older sisters and he is way more considerate and treats women way better than my previous ex's. Even my guy friends who have sisters are just way more considerate and open to hearing about the female experience. I used to only date guys who had brothers or only children, not purposefully but it always turned out that way. And they all had some hang ups about women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 09:48 PM
10

If he is someone you've vetted, trust and know to the best of your ability hopefully he won't act in way that you won't totally be able to predict...But I guess you never REALLY know until the situation arises. I'd say if he tries to slap you or choke you stop immediately. Get up, get dressed and leave. The best way to avoid this kind of situation is to have a very frank discussion before you even have sex about what you like and don't like. Don't get it twisted, consent can be very sexy! If he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 06:51 PM
26

I disagree lol tall men who are attractive are total closet assholes. Theyve gotten away with shit cuz they have a pretty face or are super tall..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/19 05:52 PM
9

A roommate of mine dated a cop and although he was crazy about her and spoiled her. But he lied about having a vasectomy, she wanted kids and basically wasted time being with him until he came out and told her 2.5 years into the relationship. He said that if she knew she wouldn't have dated him DUH... Also, he was a racist. They went to see The Butler and when they came back he was fuming..saying that the movie was all about hating white people and it was fucked up.. Literally got in my face abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/19 08:41 PM
3

Omg yes! I love her livestreams. She is an all knowing goddess.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 08:48 PM
46

Wow, Love this. Karmic consequences are a real thing. Whatever you put out you get in return. Men out there thinking they can get away with their shitty behavior without any repercussions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 07:17 PM
4

Yea... I'd stay away from calling your interactions with these guys a FWB relationship. If you're looking to just hook up just no labels are needed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/19 04:02 AM
2

I had an ex like this as well...and at first I thought it was a good thing. That I wasn't like the other girls he dated - he once complimented me on how I helped to carry groceries to the car...saying I was SOO independent and not needy...It just gave him an excuse to slack off in other aspects of our relationship. I think the best is to feel naturally comfortable with being independent at events together without having to acknowledge that fact..Because that should be the norm in a relationship.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 09:45 PM
3

I kinda thought so too..but I think I remember him saying he cheated in an interview or something
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/19 03:56 PM
13

Uhh lol her husband?? Did you not listen to the Lemonade album???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/19 06:32 AM
5

Love reading, although I don’t have as much time to sit and read. Have gone through a ton of audiobooks though! My favorite thing is putting on an audiobook while making a really nice dinner for myself or for someone special. I do yoga at least 5 times a week, at home or at my local studio. I’ve been an avid hot yoga fan for over 15 years.. I used to be Into weight training and could lift very heavy in the day lol but with time constraints, yoga is better for my mind and body. I also have been v…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/19 03:05 PM
52

Yup just listened to a Hidden Brain podcast ep called the "The Lonely American Man". It was really interesting but super sad. Patriarchy has basically built this infrastructure that kind of locks men and women into these boxes and when women change (for the better) men just don't know how to cope.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 08:38 PM
3

I know! I love the album and all the visual art that came with it makes it even better.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 05:53 PM
50

Lol, I remember so many dudes hated the Beyonce Lemonade album.. saying it was just an album hating men. Some music is literally just not for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 02:45 AM
2

Agreed - she's a huge influence on his life and he looks up to her a lot, so thats why I'm sure he imitated her a lot when he was younger. Both his parents worked but his dad stayed home more often looking after the kids and did all the cooking. His mom worked a ton and did the rest of the house cleaning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/19 02:43 AM
11

From personal experience of doing some rotational dating..it involves lots of texting and keeping up with a guy. I'm not talking about every single day but every few days you gotta do a check in with all your dudes. Give them enough to keep them coming back to you: almost like a GF experience (minus the sex if thats your thing) when you're together but when you're on your own almost ignore them. I think you should do whatever you want while you're together; the key is to not expect anything in r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 07:52 PM
19

It has to do with good home training by their mothers, probably starting from a young age. My SO, is a very good cleaner, super tidy and I have to thank his mother for teaching him. I knew he was this way from the first time I went to his apartment and it was spotless with very little clutter. Then when I met his mom I understood lol. She kept him on a pretty tight leash, because his sisters are pretty messy and do not like cleaning like he does.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/19 06:46 PM
2

Ohh okay Gotcha! I totally agree. It's because the people who are in control of a lot of the media are aging White men, probably on their like 5 wife who is like 18.. I've really enjoyed Fleabag, Killing Eve, Vida, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, all women produced shows that are all soooo good!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 04:53 PM
6

I have a pretty healthy relationship with sex/intimacy. And I never thought sex was a big deal for me ...Until I dated a guy who a WAAAY lower sex drive than I did... Like it got to the point were he would just flat out tell me we are not having sex this week...He honestly made me feel like a "slut" for wanting sex. Being rejected constantly was a weird feeling especially because I was always under the impression that men always wanted sex. I honestly think that men's sex drives are generally lo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:49 AM
8

Yea..I feel like guys who are Anglo usually have a more limited palate just because they haven't ever been exposed to a wide variety of foods.. It also depends on where a person grows up. If you're in a large city you're more likely to try different things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:16 AM
3

I cannot date someone who is a picky eater...I dated a vegetarian once and it was okay because we lived in a large city with TONS of options. But someone who won't try new things or can't eat spicy foods.. is kind of a deal breaker...I think being open to trying new foods is a commentary on how open minded a person is and I'm all about that. I will literally eat anything and try anything at least once. I'd like someone I'm dating to be the same so we can share food or get a bunch of things to tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/19 03:12 AM
46

They are such idiots.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 09:44 PM
9

I'm just saying thats the same language. Emotion and logic aren't mutually exclusive. Being emotional doesn't mean you are incapable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 08:33 PM
26

"Highly triggered, overly emotional and a little LOUD" are words used by men to gaslight and belittle women. They aren't bad things. You can be both strategic and "triggered and emotional"..whatever that means.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 06:30 PM
2

Being a "vanilla prude" isn't a bad thing. "Boring" is a relative term..and I dunno embrace it lol You could honestly say they are "kink shaming" you as well! In my circles having tried anal is still like an OMG thing lol It just depends on what kind of people you are around..But I have been out of the dating scene for like 5 years lol so maybe a lot has changed since. I still believe sex positivity at its core is about open communication about sex and sexuality. I think just because a group has…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:27 PM
1

If media is what has influenced many men to normalize depravity, then shouldn't we also be working to change what is on TV. Hiding sex away from TV/media is how we got to where we are now. CHANGE IS GOOD through normalizing the fact that women have their own desires that have nothing to do with men. There are some really good examples of women centered TV shows and movies that portray female sexuality in a very thoughtful and positive light. These kinds of things should be more mainstream. Yea, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/19 05:13 PM
0

I agree with most of what what you say. But sex positivity is rewriting the narrative, it is having open conversations about all things related to sex. It is all part of trying to change the narrative. I mean an example of good sex education is in Sweden where they talk about sex and relationships from a young age. It's not explicit but they talk about having open conversations about consent and what a healthy sexual relationship is supposed to look like. In the US I think a lot of people refuse…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 11:42 PM
3

Well sex positivity is there to remove the taboos from talking about the women's orgasm and pleasure. It includes being able to talk about women's sexuality. I do agree that there is a clear orgasm gap and that most porn is male orgasm centered BUT there is tons of porn that is centered around female orgasms. You just have to search and its more "niche" in comparison. What can be done to make people take women's pleasure into consideration than to talk about it openly. If you hate what all the L…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 10:25 PM
12

I don't think being sex positive is exactly related to disconnecting sex from intimacy. Sure in the media it can be portrayed that way but in practice I don't think it is separated. Sex positivity promotes being open and communicative with consent, STD testing, what your likes and dislikes are concerning pleasure, and it's making sure women and men are being heard in bed. When "feminist film critics" praise sex scenes where women treat sex the same way men have for years, it's because finally we…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/19 10:08 PM
13

I think you have to take into consideration that being in med school is freaking hard. You literally are studying for a majority of the day...Constant stressing out, when you relax you kind of just want to unplug from technology because you're infront of a computer or listening to lectures... I mean I'd go many hours sometimes days without replying to family members and close friends..Unless you're in med school too I duno if dating a med student is a good idea..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/19 09:18 PM
29

I usually go for the "Three F's" - fuck me, feed me, finance me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/11/19 01:35 AM
2

I agree. Who cares if he knows lol Take care you and your mental health. Seeing his messages will probably make you feel bad and he may guilt you into seeing him again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 05:14 PM
10

I’d say cut him off cold turkey. I know you’re hurt but that’s the best way. Block on all social media and phone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/11/19 02:24 PM
3

Relationship and self help wise I've really enjoyed: Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathryn Hendricks - this book really helped equip me with better language to work through conflicts with my partner. How to Love a Woman: On Intimacy and the Erotic Life of Women by Clarissa Pinkola Estes - I listened to the audiobook a lot with my mother when I was younger. Some of the best advice on love for in relationships and loving yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/11/19 12:25 AM
7

Yea...dump his ass. Tell him he can be "exclusive" with no label with someone else. If being bf/gf is important to you, do not compromise what you want in a relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 08:40 PM
4

So...Does he not consider a bf/gf label to mean an exclusive/monogamous relationship? He's not making sense if he can do monogamy but not the label of monogamy. Does he not care how you feel about the label? Would he tell people you're his partner?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 07:27 PM
3

Yea I am triggered by dumb shit lol I'd be more inclined to say that if a man refuses to eat you out he's probably gay. Or hates women..either way not someone you want to be with.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/19 03:49 AM
2

There are also tons of short youtube videos about their tactics too...I used to watch a lot lol because I found out about these kinds of men PUAs/TRP through YT.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 10:13 PM
3

Fellow shorty here (5'2)..I don't think you should let your size keep you from doing things! I really enjoy going out to happy hour by myself - just sit at the bar..no one can tell how tall you are lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 04:08 PM
3

That is whole sub is disgusting. I'm literally sick to my stomach..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 03:55 PM
14

That is dumb. So because you like getting your p*ssy getting eaten means your lesbian?? Sure you could say there is a double standard but it still just sounds dumb.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 03:48 PM
5

I enjoy it as well! I think a lot of hang ups around it deal with it being dirty and poop. But come on, it's not hard to keep a clean bootyhole..Bidets are seriously amazing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/19 03:45 PM
14

Ew. I wouldn't be surprised if he went to Vietnam or Thailand to find himself a "submissive wife"..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 09:15 PM
5

I agree. I usually go for men who have sisters - older ones (preferable) or younger.. and have good relationship with their mothers.. I had an ex who had a mother who was abusive..he made her cry while at we were at dinner once..and he was a horrible person. Sexist, narcissistic psychopath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:49 PM
9

Lol I don't understand men who really believe this kind of stuff. It is way easier for women to sleep with multiple men than it is for dudes to sleep with multiple women..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:26 PM
5

I do not think it has effected my dating life at all. And I'm fairly open about not wanting kids very early on. For all of my life I've never wanted my own kids but I am coming around to maybe adopting in the future though - the world is fucked I don't want to bring anything new into it. I'm in my late 20's..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:14 PM
9

Guys who think eating pussy is "gross" means they hate women and view them as sexual objects or they are gay.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:02 PM
7

You should make an off hand comment how you wish there were more muscular shirtless men on tv because it’s usually women who are partially nude... I think you should be open and honest with how you feel. Tell him he’s not being respectful to women and in turn not respectful to you as a woman.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:38 AM
6

Maybe you should voice your reservations about where he makes his money because it makes you uncomfortable. go wit your gut feelings... I think the perfect time to bring it up is when he brings up exclusivity up because at this point you’re just dating. And 6 dates isn’t that Long to really get to know someone..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/11/19 03:34 AM
1

Well, then maybe you weren't meant to be! If you really want him to notice you just add him, nothing to lose.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 09:16 PM
5

Haha Of course! I think adding him on IG is fairly innocent. He could have just popped up on "People you may know" list that IG gives you. You recognized him and added. Maybe I don't think it's weird cuz it's just social media to me? And besides you have some sort of history - if he made an impression on you that you remember him after all these years, I'm sure he remembers you. I've had old classmates from elementary school adding me on FB and I have even added an old teacher of mine from middl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 08:23 PM
10

I don't think is totally weird to add him on IG? It's better than "accidentally" appearing near where he works - that is WEIRD. Besides how would you ever get that kind of information if not form snooping his IG or facebook lol. I'd say add him on IG, maybe he'll message you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/11/19 08:09 PM
3

Yea...you do know that the video is satire, right? I'm sure a lot of women have gone through the "I'm not like other girls/I'm a cool girl" phase.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/11/19 04:25 PM
13

I feel bad for these girls. Her hate is so misplaced. Reminds me of this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sP-gSejbasc
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 10:28 PM
14

I think thats really important to make them feel like you give them 100% of your attention/affection when you are together and almost zero when apart. That hooks them and makes them want you more when you aren't together. This strategy is something I do for most of my relationships: dating casually and long term BFs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 08:31 PM
4

WTF complaining about using too much toilet paper is insane...I've never heard of someone doing that lol so fucking rude and CHEAP.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 08:01 PM
5

OH I didn't realize my typo!!! I meant SHOULD**. It is kind of revealing and can be uncomfortable to be open about talking kids when you're just starting to date someone and it could scare people. But if it's something that you are very adamant about then definitely be upfront with the fact that you do not want kids now or in the future. You are trying to weed out the men who want children and those who think can convince you to have children in the future.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 03:58 PM
11

I’m so glad you’re not with that loser! I would consider that abuse. Trying to put you down - for what reason?? He chose to date you but then saying fucked up things to you, means he’s a psycho with zero self awareness! He is probably massively insecure and taking it out on you.. You probably have more going for yourself than he does.. one of my ex’s was the same.. I told my ex once that this guy hit on me at store and told me I had pretty eyes and my ex then told me “you don’t have pretty eyes …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 01:39 PM
3

My friends hubby got her a “push present” after she birthed their son.. lol I had never heard of them until she told me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 01:40 AM
12

I honestly think you shouldn’t be upfront with not wanting kids right away. How does that come off as desperate?? Tell them right away so you don’t waste anyone’s’ time. My mom wanted kids and when she was dating this dude told her yes I want kids too and two years into the relationship with marriage ahead - he told her that he had a vasectomy... his reasoning was that he knew she wouldn’t date him because of it which is true but that is her decision to make not his.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/19 01:37 AM
3

I don't think it deserves a whole post on it's own lol but I can comment a little about it here. The main thing is to not be afraid to be confident in yourself and in the fact that many men want to be with you. I would be super open and CASUAL about who I'm going on dates with/what I'm doing in my free time. I'd tell guy1 I can't go out because guy2 is taking me on a date.. How this got set up is not in FDS style at all. I initiated contact and interest in the guys at first..I text first, maybe …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 04:50 PM
12

I did this for a while - dated multiple men at the same time. And I’m all about it..But I think secretly shopping around is kind of fucked up...If you do it to other people, you should expect that they would secretly do it to you too. When I was dating multiple dudes, they all knew I was dating other men.. they would Honestly do all sorts of stuff for me and would fight for my attention and time. But it was also so mentally exhausting keeping up with everyone.. would do again though if I were ev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/19 02:42 PM
2

Ohhh thanks for the clarification!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 03:35 PM
3

omg THIS!! I specifically avoid super tall dudes because of this!!! They think they can do anything say anything just because they are tall. In fact for my friends who are into tall dudes I have to remind them is actually cute and worth it or is he just tall? lol..It's the same mentality I have about dudes with super big d*cks..they think size is enough to win anyone over. I'm a shorty so a lot of men are naturally taller than me - usually go for guys shorter than 6'0...and I kind of avoid anyon…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/19 01:28 AM
93

I'll second Military..be very very wary. Even National Guard dudes are weird..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 08:11 PM
3

Passive aggressive and wildly immature lol like WTF..I'd say he's acting like a child but even that is giving him too much credit..more like an animal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 08:10 PM
3

Do what makes you feel appreciated and respected! If him not paying for you and going dutch achieves that then go for it! Maybe this sub isn't for you. I am sure there are men who think like you and want someone with the same mentality. Also, you don't have to be so overt about wanting him to pay lol It's not about trying to get them to pay, it's about weeding out the ones that don't insist on it. And if you feel like you're being judged for it sounds kind of shitty, nothing wrong with diversify…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 06:02 PM
2

Also, I think as a women working on themselves and career, the idea of paying for a date shouldn't necessarily give you anxiety...If you're a "HVW" you are always prepared to pay for your own things if you catch yourself with a "low value dude".. You're not looking for a meal ticket but someone who will value you as much as you value yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:44 PM
0

YUP. I mean if you aren't looking for a LTR, split the bill or pay for yourself on the date. I did the same when I was casually dating. I went on multiple dates with a couple of different guys and always paid for myself because I didn't really want to invest much and I was just having fun. And eventually the guy I ended up actually being serious with always insisted he pay for me. Not exactly because of the fact that he paid for me but it was a signal for how he would come to treat me in the fut…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:26 PM
19

Majority of historical texts were written by those in power and historically it was men. Women weren't even allowed to learn how to read and write so why would their representation matter to them. We were forced to do most of the housework and raising children so we didn't have time to sit and ponder the worlds greatest questions. A lot of great scientists had wives or mothers taking care of everything at home.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:13 PM
6

Also lol the ideology this sub has isn't new. There are other majority women forums on the internet that have been talking about these kinds of strategies for years.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:07 PM
7

I think the point is to make him want you by not throwing yourself at him and making it "too easy" to be around you. Sure you could go for him, pay for half the dates and be "equal" but all the other girls are probably doing the same things you are... You are special and you value yourself so he should too. I think by saying you don't want a sugar daddy means you don't understand FDS...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 05:03 PM
16

That guy is such a loser. I'm so sorry you had to experience that! Anyone who adds up the amount of money they spent on you in order to guilt you is soo petty. You could do the same for him!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/11/19 04:48 PM
9

My advice is when you smell BS go with your gut feeling!! Trust it! My friend is on an app and got talking with this one guy and was actually forming a connection but she had a weird gut feeling something was off.. So she looked him up and found out he was married with kids... blocked him right away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/10/19 03:29 PM
1

I believe you can change existing relationships but only to a certain degree...Setting the tone at the beginning is important. But if you're in a loving trusting relationship, you shouldn't feel like you are pushing him away by asking him for things you want. You should be able to talk about the hard things in a relationship, without the threat of breaking up..If you want more dates to feel more loved and appreciated, ask for it. I don't think you should shy away from saying exactly what you wan…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 07:23 PM
5

I love Eartha Kitt - she's a true queen!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 03:12 PM
10

Yup! Me too...In my early 20s I had an ex demand that I shave and I told him he just wants my vag to look like a "12 year olds" and he just laughed and was like yea *vomit* Any guy who demands women to shave are assholes to the highest degree. Since then though every guy I've been with has really enjoyed my trimmed pubic area.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 03:04 PM
6

This is so important!! And I'm so sad for that women..Getting out with nothing is better than staying and being miserable..
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 02:50 PM
12

I've been in your place girl.. I'm so sorry you had to go through this and that shit bag didn't deserve you at all. I did the same with an ex. I paid for a bunch of stuff, my family gave him free dental work, tons of emotional support..he cheated on me and we broke up, I took him back..we tried to make it work but I couldn't get over it, I was just so angry still. We went on and off talking for a few months before I honestly couldn't take it anymore and just ghosted his ass...cut everything off …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/10/19 12:41 AM
10

I actually have more issues with dudes saying they are Libertarians over liberal. But definitely agree about men being super open about being a feminist. I think it's definitely for attention.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 07:12 PM
6

Yea small peens around the 4 inch range aren't bad! I'd take an average to small one over a really big one any day. I actually prefer it over having my cervix pummeled.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/10/19 07:06 PM
1

I'd say, know your body and what you like well enough to be able to communicate it to a partner. Also toys are fun!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 09:27 PM
1

I feel like your definition or idea of what an independent woman is skewed.. and an actual independent woman wouldn't feel the need to do all those things to "prove themselves" as you say. Also, Pretending you can't do something is weird lol Don't dumb yourself down to make a man feel better or more manly. I will never understand women who do this. I mean honestly, if you do that then you're also trying to prove yourself to your man, like those "independent women" you refer to. Most men will nev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 08:15 PM
1

Okay lol Do you seriously think women who want to have their own money want to just spend it on make up? You gotta invest money, have some properties in your name girl, think bigger; not just for a "plan B" Of course, I work hard for my money. I'm gunna spend his not mine on make up and such.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 06:47 PM
2

Sure, but I'm not going to wholly depend on him for all my financial needs. If that is your thing, you do you girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 06:27 PM
5

Okay but being independent doesn't mean you don't want men to pay for you on a date, and doesn't mean you don't see value in having man in your life. I work hard and have my own money...and if he wants to provide for me, which I think he should, then I'm not stopping him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 06:24 PM
6

They did not have more respect for women.. They treated women as children. Acting more independent shouldn't effect a man's masculine drive..if it does then they aren't "real" men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 06:05 PM
2

I don't think it's that they feel like they can slack, but they feel like they don't have the change their behavior because women have. In their little heads they are "allowing" women to work/contribute to household income but they still expect women to take care of household duties..like cooking and cleaning.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/10/19 05:58 PM
20

I agree with most of the things on this post. But I'd like to comment on women orgasming less than me. Not sure if this is for everyone but get yourself a little bullet vibrator..When I was dating casually I used it quite a lot. Occasionally, I'd bring it to their place but mostly I used it at my own place..This was after vetting and I trusted them to not be a psycho and be weird about knowing my home location. In the middle of doing the deed I'd ask if I could use it during sex... I feel like i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 09:44 PM
1

Hi! I'm new too. Just found this sub and even though I'm already in a committed relationship now, I still find the information on here invaluable
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 09:15 PM
1

I know plenty of men who don't feel comfortable going to a female urologist, thats their prerogative. For me personally and the women in life/circle, I'll tell them to go to a female ob/gyn. It's their decision if they want to go to a male one. It's not that they are better doctors, but I want to go to someone who knows what I go through as a woman. If they were equal in education at all levels, I'd still go with the female doc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/19 04:16 PM
3

I would honestly never trust male gyno to know anything about my experience with a vagina. I work in healthcare and though I know some male ob/gyns who are very good people, I would never recommend a woman go to a male one.. Also...maybe this is controversial but if you are a woman of color go to a female POC ob/gyn.. My ob/gyn has an amazing office with all female nurses and such and its very a welcoming place. I love it. Always feel heard and listened to.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/19 11:05 PM
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