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sjefsiljuuus Archive

View 11 posts and 241 comments by sjefsiljuuus on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
801

SHOWER THOUGHTsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:33 PM
720

WHOLESOME CONTENTsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:36 AM
540

sjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:35 AM
359

RED FLAG 🚨sjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:18 PM
304

RANTsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 09:07 PM
223

RANTsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 04:12 PM
78

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:33 PM
1

THE AUDACITY OF SCROTESsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:31 PM
1

RANTsjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 07:03 PM
1

RED FLAG 🚨sjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 06:02 PM
1

RED FLAG 🚨sjefsiljuuus/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 04:52 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

This is so disturbing to read. To know there are people out there that act like this and just think its okay. I wish my mom was a better parent than she was. She has always been a huge «pick me» and whenever a new man came into her life, he was number one priority, while the kids were nothing. One of her boyfriends sexually abused me when I was a child, my mom knew but she was too scared to be alone so she stayed with him even when she knew how much he abused me. When I grew older, around 14-15,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/22 07:58 PM
3

That I didnt know of, thank you for telling me! I agree with that as well, I thought that gathering evidence in case someone was married with an addict and wanted to get divorced, that it would be important to document your findings to your laywer. Its not worth the energy to confront your discovery of his porn addiction, due to reasons as you mentioned. He will manipulate you, gaslight you, blame you for it, and trust will never be the same. Its not our job to babysit porn addicts to make sure …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/21 01:28 AM
4

You could block porn sites on routers or turn on «parental control», and see if you get a warning if someone in the house try to visit those sites. I also think that the admin of the router can check what sites the different devices registred to it (phones, laptops, pc etc) has been on. Again, I am not sure but ask your internet provider about this. There are extentions on every browser that blocks out any porn sites, some are good and some not, use a little time to look for one and read the rev…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/21 03:50 PM
12

Did they even take the time to read the posts in this sub at all? Doesnt seem like it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/21 05:15 PM
7

In my opinion, porn IS cheating because while you are not pshycially intimate with someone that way (depends if someone uses camgirls as well or only watch porn), the one that watches porn uses a lot of time, resources and energy on porn alone. then addiction comes, and porn becomes priority number one. the partner experience more manipulative behaviour, less intimate relationship (not just sexual), less trust, gets taken for granted, and dont experience the same amount of love, time and affecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/11/21 08:08 PM
17

My ex boyfriend used to write the same things to me, and I tried to believe that this was how it was supposed to be, I tried to believe that this was his way showing he loved me and wanted to have sex with me. On the other hand, when he wrote those kind of messages, I always got very uncomfortable, but I didnt know any better and suppressed it. He was supposed to be a «nice guy» so what he wrote wasnt supposed to be harmful towards me. Now it makes me sick to even think about it, I remember he w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 11:56 AM
37

I cuddle a lot with my rabbits and have a weighted blanket that includes heating. I also have lavendel massage oil that I use that makes me relax more. Other things I do is walking in the forest, minimum 30 minutes every day. I also do a little yoga exercises due to my fibromyalgia, to make sure my body is streched out. I have heard that people need around 4-6 hugs every day, so if you have close family around or close friends, give them some hugs! You can also massage yourself without making it…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/11/21 12:48 AM
5

I have experienced a lot of times that I cant even post a selfie on instagram anymore because then some dude ends up DM me and tells me I am so pretty and that he wants to be with me, and he doesnt even know me.... So I have stopped posting selfies online because there is always someone being that creep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/21 08:53 PM
51

All I can ask myself is like, WHY are they doing this? Like, what benefits does porn give them, really? Dont they have anything better to do? Like, I have found myself in many situations where the guy I dated before obv has watched porn, and he gets all focused on that and about «his needs». He takes away the intimacy I need to feel secure in our relationship, he clearly doesnt appericiate me. Here I am, trying to do anything I can to be an more interestning partner, trying to be more intimate, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/11/21 03:27 AM
24

Thank you for writing this comment! I had a little trouble with understanding the message of the post, since I am autistic. This made me understand better what I feel OP tried to describe. This makes sense tho, and its really sad to know this is how it really is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/10/21 02:33 PM
2

I want to ask those parents if they can explain why and when it became natural for boys, or any child, around age 8 and above for example, to watch porn and how they believe that it is okay to expose children to porn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 03:45 PM
4

Yes, I remember that as well! You couldnt be on a game site for children without that kind of adds. I cant even imagine how it is now. If I get a kid one day, I would make sure to do everything I can to protect my child from porn. I think a lot of parents are naive about the dangers online for children, especially now since porn is kinda everywhere.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 12:24 PM
6

I know, its horrible. I got exposed to porn when I was 9, and the content was very graphic (really violent), and I have never been able to forget the picture I first saw when I got exposed to it, it haunts me. The man in the video was very violent to the woman and I could see that she cried. I wish I could forget that. What’s more tragic is that some porn sites uses tags that children and teens are familiar with, like names of tv shows or games, and when children search for that on google, there…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 12:11 PM
18

The porn sick men should be ashamed when a 15 year old, a teenager is more reflected than them. I am amazed by the fact that a 15 year old is saying this, and not adult grown up men. I have read somewhere that more teenagers struggle with porn addiction now than ever, when I look back at when I was 15, porn was shameful to talk about. I got kissed the first time, I got my first boyfriend, porn wasnt even on my mind. Its disturbing to see how things has changed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/21 09:23 AM
63

They know what they do is wrong, and when confronted about it, they refuse to take any responsibility. Instead, they tell us we are too sensitive, controlling, insecure and that its normal. Or we get told that if we just did show more interest and did more sexy things, they wouldnt need porn. For everytime they choose to look for porn, they also actively decide to objectify and sexualize people. They are also telling that their needs are more important than our boundaries. They stop being intima…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/21 01:19 AM
105

Very relatable and I agree as well on this. I have always been called a prude for the same reasons. They claim it is sexual liberation while at the same time they try to pressure us to accept the idea that self-harming act and harming/dangerous acts isnt that bad at all. If it even was about sexual liberation, they wouldnt try to force the idea on us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/21 11:21 AM
5

I believed for a long time that I was demisexual, because I felt weird when I didnt want to randomly hook up with someone. I felt different because I wanted that emotional connection and safety from my partner before sex, while I knew friends were just hooking up like that was the normal thing to do. After a while, I figured out that I wasnt weird or unnormal because I required emotional connection and safety before I had sex with someone. I have never felt comfortable with the hook up culture, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/10/21 08:32 PM
1

I live in northern Europe and we are supposed to be one of the first world countries. Yet, people get more poor than ever since WW2. There are groups of people who cant afford housing, food, some of them have health issues and cant get a job. We have this financial aid if you are too sick to work - the biggest issue is that it only last for three years and if your ability to work arent figured out by then, then you lose every penny and you have to go a whole year without any income. People have …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:09 PM
1

It should be a thing, as when a man wants sex work to be legal, he should do a trial where he is living like a sex worker to see how it is. If he doesnt like it, then he had to quit screaming around about wanting sex work to be legal and thats its empowering for women🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:58 PM
4

Oh I totally agree with you. I did ask this one guy that told me sex work should be legal for men like him (LVM ofc), and I asked him just for fun why he couldnt become a sex worker instead. He told me straight out that no one would pay him to sleep with him because women didnt struggle with that issue, and it was all about «those men who are unlucky enough to not have sex with a woman - men have nEeDs». Okay men but what about OUR needs?? Once you tell them that, they get really hostile and def…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 08:48 PM
3

Yes indeed, you gain nothing by it. Its common for a lot of sex workers to have experienced sexual trauma in their childhood, so they will struggle with boundaries. They know those women are volnurable, because most of those women wouldnt «consent» to be models or a cam girl if they had a stable life and had the support they needed. Its really horrifying but also heartbreaking at the same time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:52 PM
2

That I didnt think of, but this is a very good point. Even to be a woman in this society is scary enough as it is because we always have to prepared for something happening to us, but its a matter of degree like you said. Sex workers have a higher risk for developing PTSD, to experience sexual trauma and other kind of trauma, anxiety and depression, issues with relationships and body image issues while having an unhealthy relationship with sex. Its also common for sex workers to have sexual trau…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:48 PM
5

Totally agree with you, there is no benefits with being sexualized. I think those men wants us to really believe that but what do we get from being sexualized really, other than harrassment, catcalling and assault?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:38 PM
3

I had to laugh because this is so damn accurate
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:35 PM
3

Whats really empowering is when I can undress myself in front of the mirror, without any men looking, and just look at my body and think «yes you look good!!» and truly believe it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:32 PM
7

I believe the one old familiar lovely quote «boys will be boys» has something to do with it. Maybe it is better if you get paid because then you actually got something, since they dont care about giving you a good time and an orgasm🤡🤡 However, jokes aside, yes indeed, it is creepy. I have never wanted to just see a random man naked and have sex with him on the spot and use him to have an orgasm. I have always had this one rule to never have sex with someone unless I am commited to them in a rela…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:30 PM
5

I know, it provokes me that there are expected that we should just go along with it anyway since its not going to stop, because boys will be boys🤡🤡 It took me years to learn that I didnt have to be sexually available to men at all, and that it was my choice to decide who I wanted to share my own body with. It took years before I was able to understand why sex IS supposed to be safe, intimate and it would make you more connected to the person you love. My exes expected access to my body all the t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:25 PM
15

It makes me so happy to hear that you are in a much better place now, and I love the confident vibe I get from you!! I hope you are not too harsh on yourself because of that. Sex work gets idolized a lot and for all the wrong reasons. I can believe it can feel fun to begin with since it can boost yor ego a little and getting the attention from different people. That could make one feel a little excited about doing it as well I assume. But dont ever feel guilty about it or blame yourself, you did…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:43 PM
12

YESSS!!! this just shows how ignorant they are about the issue, they dont want to even think about the millions who are kidnapped, sold, secretly filmed and trafficked because of this so called eMpOwErInG wOrK. This is the ultimate slap in the face for the victims, they get traumatized in the most brutal way and here there are libfems that want to make sex work legal because its so empowering for them. I fail to see what they think its so empowering for them, and I will never understand it eithe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 03:01 PM
11

This comment is perfect and your points are excellent written and proves the real issue with sex work, and how horrifying and unsafe it is for women and young girls. There is a reason why its illegal with sex work in many countries, some need to think more longterm when it comes to sex work and the pros vs cons with it. Again, excellent and a well written comment with a lot of good points about the matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:40 PM
5

Thank you, I felt the example I came up with was may too much but now I realize it just shows the real problem, and I hope she got to think about it afterwards because thats one of the worst things I have seen women say about this matter.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:35 PM
13

Ouuf I am glad I am not on TikTok, because I have heard a lot of toxic things being said that trends. Its horrifying that a 13 year old girl feel the need to act and dress like she is 19. There is a huge difference between being 13 and 19, a lot happens and there is a lot of growth happening in that period of time. And jealous of what, that she is 13 years old and looks older than 13? I have to wonder what made her act and feel that way tho.. Its very sad
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:30 PM
25

I am so sorry you had to experience that. I believe that when you first has seen that side from people, it will traumatize you because some believe that it automaticially gives them a free pass to abuse you and treat you horribly.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:02 PM
29

The idea of being «not like other girls» is seriously so damaging. There is nothing wrong with being like us other girls. You dont need some mens validation that you have some value in life. All it gives you is a life with a lot of insecurities, experiences with being objectified and sexualized because you dont have boundaries. I remember when I was a teenager myself and I got impressed when boys told me I was more chill than other girls etc.🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 02:01 PM
17

In these cases, I totally understand why they are doing it. Especially after the pandemic now, people has lost jobs, people has become more poor, people has lost homes, families struggles and there isnt enough jobs to everyone. Debts gets higher, and at some point you get pushed into the corner because it about your survival. When you get pushed into a corner like that, you dont do it voluntarly, but of need because you need to survive. The whole industry then takes advantages of women who gets …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 12:02 PM
46

I believe a lot of girls and women doesnt know enough about what catcalling, harrassment and sexual assault is, and those behaviours from men has become normalized to a point some women get confused if their partner loves them or not if he doesnt harrass or assault her. My mom learned me that assault and rape only happened if I met a stranger that would drag me into the woods and that I would scream and fight back. When I actally got assualted, harrassed and raped, I didnt know it was that bad a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 11:13 AM
28

I believe the idea that they dont need to be models for tube sites anymore, which gives them more freedom somehow and that its «empowering» for them because they do some work for the money they earn alone. Its the idea of being independent I guess. Maybe they see it as an ego boost when they get many subscribers, until they start to struggle more mentally. I dont know, in the long run, its men that gains something for this, not women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 10:59 AM
111

It horrifies me that a lot of people doesnt see the issue with this, because you explained it way better than I tried to do, and you are correct.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:33 AM
77

I completely agree with you. It concerns me that it has gotten so acceptable to be objectified og to objectify ourself. In the end, you are not some table being to sale in a store, you are a human being and it have been researched that those women struggle more with self esteem, depression and anxiety, relationshipsproblems and have a problematic view on sex and your body. And that a lot of those women has a past of being sexually abused earlier in life. Its sad that society tries to normalize t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 07:31 AM
73

My whole childhood and teenage years was based on me looking for validation from boys and men to believe I was good enough. I was learned from early childhood that boys and men would only love me and give me validation if I acted very sexual. Then, when I became like 22 or 23, a year ago, I just stopped care all together. It was so good to feel that I didnt have to do my makeup or dress myself to get validation from men. I felt happy with doing my make up, I felt nice when I put myself on pretty…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 06:10 AM
14

Thank you for posting this. While I believe I have been able to set more boundaries for myself and see through their attempts to manipulate or gaslight me, it still makes me doubt myself. That has to do with the trauma I have from my childhood and I have to learn how healthy relationships should be. I feel I have come a long way now, however it was very nice with a reminder. Thank you again, sis💗 I try to put my feelings and thoughts first, then listen to my gut feeling to protect myself. Its ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 05:51 AM
11

my ex reached out to me couple of weeks ago. i ended it with him over 3 years ago because he got addicted to drugs, throwed away all his money on gaming and drugs while yelling at me for spending my own earned money, kept me awake most nights because gaming, pressured me and coerced me to have sex with him. he refused to do chores, said he didnt knew how, refused to clean himself and acted like a baby. i got enough, i got money to get away from him and left, and the break up was nasty. i blocked…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/10/21 04:22 AM
15

Men know that anal sex is painful for women and thats why those men want to do the act as well. Its makes them feel dominated, they give you all this pain and makes you feel uncomfortable because they cant enjoy healthy normal sex anymore. I can remember maybe 10 years back, anal sex was such a taboo and no one talked about it and most people I knew found it disgusting. Now, you see anal has become so normalized and its considered as vanilla, how tragic is that? If a man tells me he wants to do …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 11:03 PM
12

I had this man who was bothering me for months. He wanted me to come over a lot, which I didnt feel comfortable to do. He is way older than me, and I felt I couldnt just block him either because it could have made it worse, so I hoped he would find someone else to bother after a while. He used to tell me he got mdma because he wanted to have some «sexy time» with his girlfriend, which dumped him suddenly. He then told me I had to come over because he wanted to take that mdma with someone and he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/21 10:53 PM
3

I wished I learned this earlier, but I am going to save this post and look at it often to remind myself that this is very important and solid points!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 10:17 PM
5

I have to laugh to this comment. Whats really embarrassing is that I am autistic, which makes me struggle with social skills and such (I try actively to improve them and learn go become better tho), and even while I am autistic, I see all these men with even worse social skills than me, which makes me wonder a lot. Dont they realize how pathetic and stupid it looks when they act like that? They are not babies, they are supposed to be grown up adult men, yet here we are with men that act like a b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 10:12 PM
108

So he watches porn that involves father/daughter and he has children? Those children need to get away from him, they are not safe with him!!! She should LEAVE as well. And she had a VERY GOOD reason to check his phone! Im getting so angry and disgusted when I see someone defend someone who watches porn, especially where incest is involved, what the heck is happening in this society?🤢 Its NOT normal to think sexual thoughts and have sexual «fantasies» about children, especially your own children!…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/10/21 09:36 PM
8

Me and my partner recently had a discussion about this, and he also told me that he started to see that women had realized that they dont need some dude with a house and good income to have a better life.He thinks this is a very good thing because he knows how shitty women get treated and men get away too easily. I responded with saying that more women today dont want to live like their mothers and grandmothers (being the therapist, housemaid, bangdoll etc) and that more men today are having a h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/21 09:38 AM
9

I know, and its really disgusting. Those scrotes are only telling themselves, they face a time where women actually are allowed to choose if she wants to date and who she wants to date, and they dont like that. More women are able to tell the signs of domestic abuse than ever before, which is not popular at all for those scrotes. Therefore, they just hope their attempt to gaslight anyone that tells on them just believe what they say to not lose the control they desperately desire and want to hav…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:29 PM
15

Its only a «light hearted joke» until they experiece it themselves. Lets throw a 70 lbs cake at them since its all a light hearted joke, if they get angry its their own fault since they didnt take it and understand it as a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 09:20 PM
16

I looked at the video and noticed that she walks backwards when he walks towards her after throwing the cake at her. her body language tells me that she got scared, she wouldnt have walked backwards if she wasnt scared. we can see that cake is definetly heavy when it hits her face, the force he had to make to be able to lift and throw it on her. her laughing is her being in shock and maybe denial about the assualt, its common to laugh as a defence mechanism when you are scared, nervous or afraid…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/09/21 08:49 PM
145

the classical «there’s darkness in me» line.. relate to that one. its like they want to give us the idea that if we just behave the way they want us to, the «darkness» will eventually go away and they would treat us better. like its our responsibility to fix them. they dont even bother to try to take responsibility for their actions, somehow its our fault no matter what🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 07:02 PM
89

Was supposed to have sex with an ex, was forced and coerced to do it, wasnt the first time. It was painful for me. He smiled and said that he felt good about himself when I was hurting because it reminded him of my innocence and that he loved to see me as an innocent girl. I wish I was old enough to know that was a huge red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/09/21 06:57 PM
4

If I get married, I wont change my surename at all. My surname is a big part of my identity, and tells me what morals and value my family represents. I am my dads only child, and he has always learned me that its important to become an individual adult who does what I desire to do with my life and dont do what I feel its expected of me (having children at a young age or marry someone when I am young). My father has always done his own thing, has really good work ethics, has a good education, tak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/21 09:15 AM
27

ugh, this gives me chills because i know that it is so true and its disgusting to know these kind of men are out there. pure disgust
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 09:12 PM
107

I wonder if this game existed before they met, and if he purposely looked for a woman with the similar background as the girl in the game. If he based this - their whole relationship because he played this game and wants to make it real. He definetly plans to rape her, if he hasnt done it already. I am very concerned with her safety
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/21 07:19 PM
3

They underestimate how dangerous stalking actually is. Its horrifying to read that you had to experience this. Its a shame that the police dont care about these cases, but I am so happy to know that your dad helped you and protected you. You are right about that. They really dont know any boundaries expect violence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 01:07 AM
8

I get so frustrated when people tries to tell me porn isnt that bad. Look at the science, it rewires your brain. And here we can read stories how porn has affected several womens life. Its a good thing, and important that we speak up. Those men are never gonna make us silent for their crimes. Karma will come for them one day. I am so sorry you has to go through that. You did nothing wrong, so dont blame yourself. How are you dealing with it now if I may ask? A very important lession I have learn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:55 AM
14

That man is a monster and it horrifies me still to this day that he is a free man. By doing this, he had actively planned to make me voulnerable to make sure he was able to do what he wanted to do. Its the worst thing I believe he did to me. I have worked a lot with myself and I dont struggle so much with the trauma today, but it has left a permanent mark. However, he tried to break me down, but he didnt expect me rising up and to evolve so much as I have the last years. To take away his control…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:50 AM
224

My ex was addicted to porn. He started to suggest to me that we had to try certain sexual acts because he had seen it in porn. I wasnt interested so I told him no, multiple times. He got angry and told me «no» wasnt good enough answer. He felt entilted to my body and I was supposed to be ready for whenever he wanted to use my body. At one point, I started to starve myself because I hoped if I was too thin and ugly, maybe he would leave me and my body alone. I developed anorexia. One certain act …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/21 04:03 PM
3

I believe that those men who does such things only do it because they are very certain they will get away with it. Now, if my childhood had been much better and I had learned to tell someone if something happened to me, I think chances are minimal that my rapist in this post would do any thing. He knew I wouldnt report him to the police since I didnt even report my own mother to the police. He saw me as the «loyal» girl that wouldnt tell anyone, even if it made me break down. Silence gives them …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 11:17 PM
3

Thank you! I just felt the need to rant about this because it bothers me so much. I feel sorry for everyone that has experienced trauma, abuse and rape. However, how you deal with it and cope with it is your responsibility. Trauma isnt an excuse to abuse others. I believe if I become as bad as my rapist, people wouldnt have excused it all, I believe most because I am a woman and I am somehow expected to accept it and «get over it».
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:07 PM
2

Ohh yes, I know and it makes me furious! A lot of people experience trauma, but how you deal and cope with that trauma is your choice. Why does it excuse men somehow that they were traumatized as kids to be so evil? A man who rapes and abuses a woman do it because they are confident they will get away with it. I believe my rapist did all this because he knows I am that «loyal» girl. I am gonna report him to the police when I am mentally prepared for it. He believed he could make me silent and be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 05:03 PM
2

I believe that as well, that its hard for them to realize how brutal someone can be. I dont blame them for being in denial because I can understand that to begin with, but what they did towards me was not okay at all and they somehow put the blame on me for not being understanding towards the man who has taken years from my life. I started to read that a while ago, and I find it really interestning. That should be a book everyone should read in here in my opinion!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:58 PM
1

I know. Its like we are nothing to them, but we are somehow just expected to show compassion because they cant handle themselves. Its ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/08/21 04:55 PM
21

I can understand that they somehow are in denial when they learn that someone they know turns out to be an abuser and a rapist to begin with. Its a coping mechanism thats really common. What provokes me is that somehow its just easier to forget that the person has been violent with someone, forced himself on them, brutually traumatized another person. I still remember looking into his eyes at one episode and all I could see was black, there was no soul, just pure evil. That has burned into my me…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 11:25 PM
21

I know, right? People that treat others like that doesnt feel good about themselves, and a lot of them choose to hurt and traumatize others to feel that power and control, and its easier to drag people down with you than to work with yourself and the trauma. Any sane person would never have done such things if they did feel good and confident about themselves. I dont feel the need to hurt and abuse others because I have trauma myself. Its weak and pathetic. He felt so shitty about himself and wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:42 PM
41

The only thing I feel sorry for when it comes to him is that he had to experience trauma, because I can relate to that. However, when he starts to grow up and become an adult, he does have the choice to either become like his abusers, or to cope with it and heal from it to become a better person. He chose to become a rapist and an abuser, and nothing will ever excuse that. The worst part was that while most of his friends were men, there was this girl who also agreed with them, and asked me if I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/08/21 10:08 PM
1

I have struggled a lot with that myself. I just decided to remove those people from my life. If they still choose to be friends with him like nothing happened, that is too triggering for me and he gets too close to me and my life. If they really cared about me, they would respect my boundaries. I can always make new friends. Also, I have this stupid guy that is friends with my rapist, and every single time I meet that guy, he just talks about my rapist and how he has improved, got to be a better…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 08:37 PM
4

I totally relate with you! I remember ten years ago, anal sex was such a taboo thing and everyone I knew thought it was disgusting. Now it seems like they expect anal sex to be vanilla sex, which is not what it is. I am 24, and I see grown older men giving me these dirty pervert looks to me, catcalling me and the worst part is that I have gotten so used to it that I even dont think about it when it happens. An older man asked me when I was 14 if I wanted 1000 dollars just for joining him home to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/08/21 06:17 PM
11

Thank you for your feedback! I felt I was maybe little brutal and shared too much details when I commented, on the other hand I could feel myself get so angry and upset by reading this. I pray to God that this must be some kind of a sick joke, but I have experienced a lot of girls and women that would rather question my experience than my rapists. They only knew him as a «good guy» and a good guy doesnt rape someone right??? People that writes shit like this doesnt even know what they are saying…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 09:54 PM
14

I didnt plan to write that much or detailed when I first started to write my comment. I just felt so frustrated about the whole thing. People wonder why we dont report, while they also tell us that if we just dress more like that or behave in a certain way, we wont experience rape at all. At the end at my comment, I felt I may was way too brutal with how I came off with my opinion about the subject, while at the same time I felt I had to write it like this to really show how idiotic it is to bla…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 09:35 PM
64

I would geninuelly like to know how I could have dressed myself like a prostiture when I was between the age 3 to 5. While we are at it, what kind of provocative behaviour did I do at such young age, to somehow justify for the abuser to take advantage of me the way he did? Did I maybe say something that provoked the ADULT MALE while I had my classical toddler tantrums, so that he suddenly got a reason to sexually abuse me? I remember this phone call I has years ago with the man that molested me …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/08/21 05:24 PM
15

I feel sprry for this girl, I hope she some day cone across FDS and see this for what it is. This dude is straight up living in a closet and seemed to get so annoyed because she just wants his attention. She is in denial, and I am certain she believes she is overreacting if she tries to talk to him. This aint cute. If someone told me that I would kick him out. No closet living dude are gonna take advantage of me like that
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/08/21 12:11 AM
17

I am very happy for you! I understand that this wasnt an easy choice, however you do whatever feels good to you and whats good for your health. Even if it is a parent, they dont get a free pass to treat you like shit. Just remember that you didnt do anything wrong, and you didnt deserve that at all. I went NC with my mother a couple of years ago. The whole time when she raised me, she never prioritized me. She was always on the lookout for some another man, so that she wouldnt be lonely. Sadly, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/08/21 02:24 AM
2

I have and I still go to therapy to work with myself. I try to not make him my therapist, and I try to know what I can tell him and what I should tell my therapist. I am just happy he supports me and shows me how love is supposed to be. Thank you so much, and I am so sorry for what you have gone through. You are really strong and I admire you for sharing your story.💗 I also wish you strength and growth for your healing💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 10:03 PM
8

Thank you for writing so personal post. I can relate to this so much. Most of my experiences with men and sex has been awful and traumatizing. They used my body without my consent to get off, and they didnt care if I cried a lot or told them to stop. I have been objectified so much and I struggle to have a normal relationship with sex and how sex should be. I was learned that if I was objectified or if a man was very sexual with me, it was a good thing. I have been learned that men will only lov…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 09:08 PM
263

They dont like what we do because it doesnt benefit them at all. They would never hate this sub if they benefited from it somehow. Another thing is that those men doesnt want us women to know their bullshit behaviour, because if we dont know, they can continiue treating us like shit🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 01:44 PM
45

the pickme vibe here is reaaaaally strong. she wouldnt have been like that if she was truly confident with herself. and in relationships like this, there is often abusive behaviours and no trust from both parts. i felt my stomach got ill by reading this🥴
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 12:43 PM
9

scrotes are so low effort that they wont even try different ways to be a scrote. did they all go to the same school or something?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/08/21 11:55 AM
171

TW just in case. I have told my current boyfriend about my trauma, because there was no way I could hide it due to the massive symptoms of my PTSD. I never shared to him how it happened, and he has never asked either. He has told me that I can tell him what I feel comfortable telling him, and doesnt pressure me. Before this happened, I believed by telling every guy I had to be with, I had to tell them about my trauma because I saw myself as a complicated partner. Now I know I dont have to share …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:54 PM
63

lets find the torches and we will show them💪🏼🔥
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 10:31 PM
858

My ex boyfriend got «jealous» as well on my rapist because my rapist had done acts with me that I would never let him do to me, because it was traumatizing. I never told him how my rapist raped me, he snooped in my diary and figured it out. Then he pressured me and forced me to do the same as the rapist had done to me. My ex somehow made it seem like there was some competition between him and my rapist. He was so bothered with me getting raped, because that meant someone «touched» me before him.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/21 09:51 PM
79

Of course, its always just easier to just blame women for everything than to maybe realize that you need to change something about yourself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/21 11:48 PM
5

I agree with you, its a shame how this behaviour is supposed to be okay because «its a kink». Its horrible that it has come so far, it should never have evolved to be acceptable ik the firste place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 04:33 PM
13

I feel for this woman, she has probably been gaslighted so much and worry more about if she kink shame the man rather than her own safety. When did it become so normalized to choke during sex, and why is it getting normalized? I believe she really do mind, but she tries to convince her self that it isnt that big of a deal, thats really common with traumatic experiences. Getting chocked is traumatic, no matter the situation you are in. There arent enough awareness about the long term damages that…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 03:19 PM
261

That just shows how weak men actually are and why women are so much stronger than them in my opinion. Why does men want to limit women and control us so much? They fear us, and they pray every day that women never figures it out. Thats why they hate this sub and want it removed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/08/21 02:18 PM
40

I started to do that when I figured out my reactions were reasonable in a situation. They got pissed off and then meant I overreacted because thats what women do. I just laughed and told them I was too old for their bullshit and if they couldnt handle me being «sensitive», then they should stop treating me that bad. I cut them off right after, and I learned that being «sensitive» is a good thing. Its funny, they call us sensitive while they complain about everything, while we women have to do sh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 06:04 PM
106

Gonna remember this post if someone dares to call me sensitive. I have been called that my whole life, and I figured out later that I wasnt sensitive, I just called out especially abusive peoples behaviour and they tried to gaslight me by calling me sensitive.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/08/21 04:53 PM
1

The thing that makes this perfect is how true this is and the music in the background is way too accurate!!😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/07/21 03:32 PM
2

ooooh okay good😂😂 i started to get very worried here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/21 07:22 PM
3

Yeah me too, but they are never going to admit that they do that. However, they know damn well what they have done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:44 PM
2

Was about time, I wait to see them face more consequences, because they will come. Its just a matter of time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:27 PM
5

I noticed now when I read over the post that they tell people to join Pornhub, which is the biggest money maker for Mindgeek. So yes, its a very smart business move. They probably doesnt lose much money by shutting down this site, and by shutting it down, they make people believe they do something due to the negative PR they have experienced the last months. I try to see this as a victory because its at least one less porn site, but the problem are the morw bigger ones that gives Mindgeek the mo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:26 PM
2

It could be me that remembers wrong, or it could be both. I havent really checked it out because it triggers my ptsd, but have read some comments on reddit describing the issue. But yes, makw it more taboo. I notice that people start to dislike porn now, they are more informed. And people want change. The ones who doesnt are those who are more adult and have lived with the addiction for yeeeeears mostly or pick-me’s, believing porn is just sex work and it is enpowering.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:20 PM
1

Their mindset is like «well sure that underage girl / child got raped but that doesnt affect me and since its out here on the open web for me to watch I must simply just watch it and wank one out because why not!!!» I pray to god that this man doesnt have any children. He is then a serious danger for his kids safety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:18 PM
2

And he had no issues with admitting it!! I swear, maybe 10-15 years ago, you didnt hear much about underage videos on the open web. Ypu had to be very good with tech to use the dark web to find it. Now they just visit porn sites on the open web and have no issues with telling people they have seen underage videos. I am so enraged because the porn industry has normalized this, and other stuff. Its disgusting. Whats more scary to think about is that there are a lot of these men out in the street n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:16 PM
2

And the incels wonder why we women dont want to date them🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:12 PM
2

They should just try to be blindfooled and be forced to fantasize, without video and sounds, or is that too much to ask from them?🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:12 PM
2

I should consider myself being lucky for having a «weak» and not a «rEaL mAn» man then, since he talks about whats bothers him and doesnt use porn to cope with his issues😂🤔 Yes i know, right?? They created this issue to begin with. It affects us, everyone no matter the age, and when it starts to give problems, they refuse to do anything but expect others - especially women to fix it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:11 PM
9

Have you heard about «elsagate»? Porn sites uses key words children search for when they use the computer to trick the children to visit the porn site.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:06 PM
18

I find it so hard to understand why some men are so negative to just go and speak to a therapist, like whats the problem? Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:03 PM
15

I agree with you. Masturbation alone is very benefictual and if you dont overdo it. Masturbation alone and with a partner can benefit your health a lot, connection to your own body, discovering what you like and get that bond to someone else. Porn on the other hand, takes all of that away from you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 04:02 PM
19

Oh yes, without doubt. I pray that this man doesnt have a gf/ wife and/or children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:56 PM
8

YES!!! and/or eventually someone from Exodus Cry!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:13 PM
4

😂😂👌🏼 Heh didnt think about that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:06 PM
25

«bUt pOrN iS sAcReD!!!!» imagine those who are addicted and pays for a lot of onlyfans content. Their whole incoome just goes away to see people get explotied because you just need to get off and cant interact with a human :////
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:59 AM
9

She is my role model, all that work she has done and it really shows!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 09:56 AM
3

My last ex found out I had experienced certain sexual act (read; rape), and he got jealous that my rapist had experienced doing that act towards me, and got pissed off when I said I never wanted to experience or do that act again. Then he guilt tripped me, manipulated me, told me how unfair it was for him because he had never done it etc. I swear, this pisses me off. Just because someone did or experienced a certain act, doesnt mean they liked it or that they want to do it again. If it bothers y…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:41 AM
46

I cant even imagine how someone is willingly doing this for an GROWN ADULT MAN, believing you have high standards and are empowered while you degrade yourself this low
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:34 AM
30

I look forward to see how Mindgeek responds to the lawsuit and how that ends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:15 AM
9

I can see that! I was so jealous om my friends when they had pets before I got my rabbits. Now they are jealous on me😂😅 But you are so right, you dont need to own a pet at all, just treat it nice and they love you😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 03:12 AM
92

Laila Mickelwait has worked with people that has been traumatized by porn (either that their rape was on tube sites, revenge porn, content of children and women getting sexual abused) I think, and she is one of the founders who started the campaign to shut down Pornhub because they profit of the violent content. Her twitter and instagram account shows a lot, and Exodus Cry (?) I think. Both are worth checking out if you want to learn more!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:52 AM
116

Yes I agree with you. Mindgeek has opened a «dark web version» of Pornhub if I remember correctly and that their subscribers can pay for content with bitcoin, which is harder to trace. They know and feel the pressure to do something because of the bad PR they have got the last months. I hope one day we are able to shut down every site, while I kinda know that is impossible. I try to see this as a win, because our society is so fixated on sex and sexualizes girls and women, and you are considered…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:42 AM
44

Laila Mickelwait is the one source I can recommend, both her twitter and instagram account. I believe she was one of those who started the campaign to shut down Pornhub due to the violent content the porn sites profits on.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:34 AM
126

Me too, I wouldnt be surprised if «vibrant» is their code word to describe the violent content tho. They know what they did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 02:31 AM
14

I will forever advise people, especially women to get an animal they can commit to before they consider getting a boyfriend or even marry a dude. I feel its important for everyone to have experienced having animals, taking care of them, have the responsibility, notice the health benefits and how much company they give you and that they never stop showing you their love for you. Animals are excellent for depression and anxiety, my rabbits have helped me a lot when it comes to my PTSD. However, wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 01:19 AM
12

Definetly! I have been with all kinds of aminals my whole life, and my dream is to have a big house with a farm where I have horses, rabbits and dogs! Often, I notice how much people in general underestimate rabbits, they get very surprised when they see how intelligent and emotionial animals they actually are. And animals gives more benefits for us, especially when it comes to our health and loneliness. If you have a dog, you have to walk with it, and they shower you with love. I have learned a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:59 AM
21

Oh how pissed off those men will get if we women actually started to do this. Yelling and so angry because we «tease» them and they were close to cum but we didnt touch his whole dick :////// My response would be something like «Well boy what a shame now you know how it is for us women», while I smile😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:50 AM
2

THIS!!!! is the best way someone has described the issue with older men hunting teenagers who just turned 18 because they are now legal and therefore no problem to use
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:46 AM
49

Thats how I prefer it, my whole balcony are dedicated for my three rabbits and its amazing how much animals gives you and make you feel. However, I wonder if my boyfriend sometimes is jealous because I can spend my whole day cuddling with the rabbits🤔😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/21 12:43 AM
2

Glad I could be at help! That quote has made things easier for me, because it makes me accept things more. I hope you get out and get peace, would like to hear an update!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:30 PM
2

I understand that and I feel for you. There is a saying that goes like this «if there is a problem, there is a solution. If there isnt any solution, then it isnt a problem, but reality». And, its not your responsibility to fix his behaviour. If you know you have done everything to fix the problems, and it never gets better, then the problem is him and not you. You deserve better than that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:02 PM
2

Ohh, that reminds me of my ex boyfriend😂 He was the same, and suddenly when he realized that I was going to leave, then he out of the blue wanted to step up and be better, taking me out for dinner, get our own house, take me on dates etc. He would just get the same again if I gave him another chance. I believe you can do this. This is for a better furure for yourself. You have done the most difficult thing, which is to actually get out with your stuff. He can say whatever he want, he had his cha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:57 PM
2

Sorry for taking long to reply! But yes, I agree. They want a virgin because thats «pure», but they also want a virgin that has some experience, because no experience is too boring again. And if they get a girl with body count, they suddenly shame her, calls her slut. Some men even claim someones rapist to be one of the body counts, which is sick. Good for you for taking that step! You deserve better than a man who thinks like that. I am celebrating for you! How did it go?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 06:33 PM
2

This is breaking my heart to read. I dont understand how they could treat you like that, especially since you were so young. This shows that it happens more than people in general want to believe, and why its important to speak up about it. They do this to us and shame us for it. Its time they face consequences for their actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:16 PM
2

I am so sorry to hear that, that should never have happened to you at all. You should have been a kid with no worries and safe trusting adults around you. I hope you are in a much better place now💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:08 PM
2

They want to control us women because they depend on us. They know we are powerful without them. They know we dont need them the same way they need us. Our egoes dont need a man. To maintain that control, sexual terrorism is one of the ways to do it. But deep insinde, I genuinly hope that by speaking up, we can make a difference together. Our future children depends on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:07 PM
2

Oh yes, I regonize myself a lot in what you wrote here. Its disgusting that men target girls like that, target CHILDREN just because they dont have a dick. No children should ever worry about older adult men targeting them, sexualizing them and objectifying them. The first time I experienced that, I was between 3-5 years old. I learned about BDSM at the same age as you, the disgustin scrote told me that was the normal way to show love and I believed it. For years, it has fucked me up because it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 04:04 PM
2

Thank you as well dear, I am luckily❤️ Yours did as well!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:51 PM
1

A lot of that has happened to me as well. I dont understand how they can feel this entitled to our bodies? We arent allowed to be kids without being sexualized and objectified. Sometimes I wonder if society do this on purpose to make us women more dependent on men while the truth is that they depend on us women. We dont depend on them. Men know how powerful we women are, therefore they want to make us suffer and question our values and roles as women in society to maintain their control. Its sic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/06/21 03:51 PM
2

Same as me. It breaks my heart to know that happened to you. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I admire you for sharing, you are stronger than you think, and together we can make a difference. I hope you are in a much better place now❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:25 PM
1

Thats just disgusting, I dont even understand how he believed that was an appropriate thing to say to a child. I hope you didnt have to deal with him after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:23 PM
2

For me as well, started when I was 3 until 5. It breaks my heart to know what he did to you and I am so sorry you had to go through that. I admire your courage for sharing, and together we can make a difference. I hope you are in a much better place now❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:22 PM
2

Same as me. That shouldnt have happened to you, it breaks my heart to hear what they did to you. I am so sorry you had to go through that. I hope you are in a much better place now, and I admire you for sharing. By speaking up, we can make a difference❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:20 PM
2

I am so sorry to hear that, that should not have happened at all. I hope you are in a much better place now, and I admire your courage to share your story. Together, we can make a difference❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:18 PM
1

That should not have happened at all, and I am sorry that you had to experience that at such young age. Those knew what they did was not okay, they were the adults, you were a child. It disgusts me that men behave like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:17 PM
2

I am so sorry you had to experience that, especially since you just were a child. Its horrifying how men believe they are entitled to girls and womens bodies. It disgusts me that they cant see us as humans, rather they think we just exsist to please their dicks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 11:15 PM
10

I am so sorry you experienced that. I get so frustrated and angry because those men know what they do is wrong and illegal, and they dont care anyway, all that matters to them is to furfill their needs. We get told that we cant walk alone, we have to walk on «safe» places, we have to dress like that etc. What if parents learned their children not to harrass and assualt instead? No matter what we do, predators do always make the choice to violate someone, we dont have a choice at all. It sounds l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 11:59 PM
6

I am so sorry you had to experience that, especially since you were a child. That should not have happened at all. Thank you for sharing your story here, know that you are brave and I admire you for sharing. Together we can make a difference! I hope you are in a much better place now sis💗 hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:47 PM
5

I dont remember much of it, I dont think I directly tried to tell her. But I know she knows it happened. She tried to blame my father for it, while in reality it was her boyfriend who lived with her. They tried to take me to a check up but I got too scared and they couldnt do the check up. I confronted my mom when I was older and the memories came back, she denied it, but I figured it was no point to continue the discussion. She knows she failed to protect me, and rather admitting it, she lives …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:45 PM
18

I have felt shame as well. My mom was abusive and neglected me, and when those creeps online got in contact with me when I was a child, they got me to trust them and I told them how miserable I was home and they comforted me and told me the things they knew I wanted to hear. That made me want to talk to them more, because they made me feel «loved» and not lonely. I was scared to tell someone because I felt they would blame me. I hope you dont feel any shame of it now, because you didnt do anythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 10:36 PM
12

Those parents should be ashamed of themselves. They were the adults, you were a child, adults are supposed to protect you. Im so sorry you had to experience that and that they neglected to take it seriously. My earliest memories are between 3-5 years old, my mom didnt do anything because she is a classic pickme and her men were more important than her children. Men that target, groom and prey on children and younger women are disgusting and evil. They know damn well what they do is illegal, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:49 PM
11

Thank you, I am happy to know that you feel comfortable sharing. Often, it is good to see and know that you are not alone with it.💗 That way, we can raise awareness about this, and protect our future generations from being sexualized, objectified of being harrassed/assaulted.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:21 PM
44

I know what you mean! I have seen men that claims they hate pedophiles, claim they are not predators like them and then they just hunts for younger women to groom and prey on. A lot on chat sites when I was a child, men claimed I shouldnt be there because bad people could talk to me while at the same time they asked me if I knew what sex was and if they could show me. Its scary, and the predators doesnt seem to get any consequences for their actions. People that laugh at shows like catch the pre…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:18 PM
8

It saddens me that this just proves how true this is. This shouldnt have happened to you, especially since you were a child. Im so sorry you had to experience that, I admire you for sharing your story, and I hope you know you are not alone. I hope you are in a much better place now, hugs💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 09:10 PM
28

So sorry to hear that, it shouldnt have happened at all. I admire you for sharing, its important to share our stories and make people aware that it happens. I hope you are in a better place now💗 hugs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:42 PM
16

I was as well. I am so sorry you had to experience that, especially since you were a child😞 I hope you are in a much better place now, hugs💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:16 PM
9

I can see where she is coming from, I wouldnt feel comfortable if I didnt have enough and had to depend on my partner to take care of me. That increases the risk of financial abuse and controlling behaviour. I has always wanted to have enough to take care and provide for myself, because you never know. However, this is just sad to read. I have been sick for over a year, I lost my job and I dont have an income at all. I dont have savings because I had to use them to pay for bills. The only income…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 07:48 PM
14

It really is! It is so freeing coming here, because you just know the women here know what you are talking about, they know how it is and how you feel. I dont have many friends IRL, the friends I have is guys and I miss to talk and connect with other women. My boyfriend and my friends supports me and I can talk to them, but there is something different to talk to guys than it is to to talk to women. 💗 They just know.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:57 PM
63

This sub is like the family I never had. Although my dad did an amazing job with raising me, both me and himself has felt that it is sad that I didnf have any kind of mother figure in my life who could learn me things. By joining here, I feel I have found what I have missing having my whole life - women who supports each other and gives advice to protect us. I have learned a lot by just being here than my own mother learned me. She was always too busy with her new abusive boyfriends and neglecte…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 06:44 PM
1

I highly agree with you, that is information we need since those men arent going to change at all, so the best we can do is to protect ourselves and know what to look for. I didnt know that, thats interestning. If I want to read that kind of book, I would like the author to be certain with the topic. I got more interested and are going to note it, thanks for the recommendation! You seem to understand what kind of guy he is. I have tried to tell him before to stop talking to me with longer paragr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 08:54 PM
2

So good to hear! Thank you, I am in a much better place myself. This subreddit is a blessing, it has changed my life as well. Indeed we do, men has gotten away way too long with this. I believe they have abused us and treated us like shit because they know how powerful we women are. They just hope we wont ever figure it out. Because when we do, their «perfect world» wont be so perfect anymore. Thats why most men dislike and hate this sub, because they cant control us anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:56 PM
2

I am so sorry you had to experience that. Its terrible to know how some of these man behave and treat us. I think this scrote has a lot of the same issues as yours. He seems a little bit obsessed, so I feel I have to be cautious. How is the situation now, does he leave you alone? I think I am going to reach out to my laywer, ask her what we can do about this, and contact the police here. The police here would either help me or not, depends who I talk to. I dont think they understand the seriousn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:52 PM
1

Oh thank you! I am going to check it out. I started to read «why does he do that?» a while ago, so I am gonna get it! It would have been great to read about this and how these kind of people thinks and works. I have thought about it. I am scared if filing a restraining order could make things worse. I am going to talk to the police and see what happens there. I am gonna to block him and make it hard for him to reach me. I dont have any relationship with my brother, which is unrelated to this, bu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:17 PM
2

I am going to go throught our coversations to screenshot the essensial things, so I can show the police when I contact them. I told my boyfriend now that I wanted to block this guy and get a restraining order, which my boyfriend supported me to do. My boyfriend is checking up this guy’s case as often as he can, and updates me. We do what we can to stay away and not provoke this man as things are now. He goes out with me any places to make sure I am not alone. I believe he is somehow known for th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 03:03 PM
3

Thank you so much again, I cant describe how much I appericiate it💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:26 PM
7

Yeah I can relate to that. I often thought that it was better to just go with it than to say no, because it was more dangerous to say no than to force yourself / be forced to do it. It took me years as well to realize that this wasnt normal and that I got abused. I am glad to hear you got to therapy and got the help you needed. I hope you are in a much better place now, and I admire your courage to share your story and know that doing that is good, but also so important💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:25 PM
21

Wow, this was hard to read. Mostly because this is the truth. I am gonna go through our messages, screenshot those where I ask him to stop talking to me, where he says inappropriate things and anything else I come over. Thank you for being this direct with me. I struggle sometimes to think logically due to my ptsd and anxiety. The police here havent been really helpful before when I have reported something, but at least when I report it, they will log it in their system. Thank you for giving goo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 09:23 PM
5

I have talked to my boyfriend and my dad about this, and going to talk tl my therapist this week. I dont have many friends, especially not women, so I feel its difficult to tell other women about him. It felt good to come here and write about it, its different to talk to men about this than with women. I am gonna to talk to the police if he doesnt leave me alone and try to get a restraining order against him. I have changed a lot of my settings on my social media, to make it a little more diffic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:55 PM
7

I will contact the police if he still tries to reach out after I have blocked him. I need to calm down a little because I think I am in shock about this. It seems surreal. I will file a restraining order, hopefully that would make him stop. I am going to set more boundaries and give consequenses when someone doesnt respect them. The thing that made it so difficult was how he manipulated me, and I felt guilty, even when I felt something was wrong. I feel a little blame for this, because I felt I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:49 PM
3

Thank you for your support and advice💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:41 PM
27

I know, I have had friends who started to do drugs and became addicted. It was hard, they only focused on the next high, and did so many selfish things so they could get high. I have gone no contact with those. I think what made it a little hard was that he was somehow close to my brother, which I miss and love. He lives in foster care and our relationship is complicated. I think this man knew that my brother was my «weakness» to keep me talking to him. Thanks for sharing your experience. I feel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:25 PM
5

My boyfriend didnt like the guy, but no one knew he was THIS bad. I had talked to my boyfriend about blocking this dude and remove him because he scared me, which he supported me with. I am going to block him soon, I need to calm down first because I am in shock I think. It seems so surreal. I will reach out to the police if he does try to reach out after I have blocked him. I cant move, but I know he wont dare to show up here on my door, he is scared of my boyfriend. I rarely go outside alone, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:19 PM
15

I live with him so he supports me, he didnt like the guy but he didnt want to be the one to «force me» to stop talking to him. And I didnt want to ask him to talk to the scrote for me because I wanted to fix it myself. I reached out to my therapist today and are going to meet her this week. I am considering doing that as well, I feel I need to calm down a little bit before I do that. I feel scared for what he can do. But I have concluded with that I will reach out to the police if he still reach…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:15 PM
27

Not sure what the police can do, I think I will contact them if he starts to reach out again. I am going to talk to my therapist about this. I have my boyfriend and my dad, no friends really. They are good support but I find it difficult to tell them every thing. I blame myself a little, while I also know it isnt my fault for him acting this way. Me and my boyfriend has considered getting security cameras, so that is an option. I cant carry a defence weapon here. I live in Norway and its illegal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:03 PM
27

I have never understood women who thinks that its a bonus that their male partner helps cleaning the house and doing basic chores. Are we supposed to be their maids and be their mother while we are their partner? Hell no! Any man that wants to be with me better help clean the house and do chores. Luckily for me, my boyfriend is one of the few men I have been with that has known from day 1 that he has as much responsibility to keep the house clean as I have. Its OUR house. What I consider a bonus…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 06:23 PM
1

That would have been nice, I dont know how many I get just from random older men and it has begun to become really annoying. I know I configured my settings so that people that wanted to add me had to have common fb-friends with me. Thank you for tips, going to go through my settings right now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 03:32 PM
20

«But I need a real woman not a prude because I need sex!!! Its a need and I watch porn 24/7 with my limp dick!! The woman I want and need has to furfill my kinks or I will feel that she is kink shaming me!! When a woman says no they mean yes because women always says the opposite of what they really think!!»
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 12:53 PM
16

«You are so cynical» «I dont remember saying / doing that» «I am the man» «You are kink shaming me! I believed I could trust you with these things» «You are a prude» «All men watch porn! Do you think I cheat on you while I jerk off my porn sick dick while I objectify women?!»
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:34 AM
66

«Dont want to change anything in life or your behaviour to get your life better than now? Dont worry, get yourself a woman! You need them even when they dont need you at all and while they risk their life, health, safety and body for your stupid fragile ego, you are allowed to abuse them!» I believe this is one of the things they learn at the LVM school
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:27 AM
88

Did we have the same ex boyfriend? One of mine exes called me the abuser for saying no to sex, while the irony was that he was the abuser😳
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:23 AM
3

Going to consider it, its on Facebook so I am not sure how Facebook handle these situations. Feel like the best option I have is to block, but I could look at it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:21 AM
1

I have done it now, I want to hope that maybe he gets the hint now, even if I am really sure he doesnt😅
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:20 AM
4

I could, not sure the cops here are going to take it seriously tho. I have some issues with the local police, because they treated me badly and I filed a complaint. Two of the officers I complained about is two men, making me seem paranoid and overreacting for anything I say, they give me ugly looks whenever they see me. There arent any women working here I think, which would have helped me a little more.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:19 AM
6

I have thought a lot about it, really
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 08:15 AM
34

Yes same here, having a boyfriend aint gonna stop those LVM. I have sometimes asked my boyfriend to talk to a LVM where my boyfriend has to say that the LVM need to stop talking to me, only then, they leave me alone🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:32 PM
150

Ugh the nerve.... Seriously tho, what problems do older men have? For months now, I (23 y/o) have gotten friend request by this old dude that is at least over 55. I never accept him. I dont know him, never talked to him. Does it stop him? No no no, he just continiues to spam my account with his stupid friend request and hoping he will get the chance to talk to me. Whats even sadder, is that he is supposedly married with this young thai woman that has a child (dont know if its theirs or only hers…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 05:20 PM
13

I would rather die alone than lower my standards because a LVM wont even bother to change his attitude and behaviour, so he could become more appealing and qualify to be a HVM eventually
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/05/21 11:37 AM
5

Mens biggest threat and fear are women who knows they have power and feel empowered, thats why they want us to feel low about ourselves so they dont have to see how powerful us woman can be😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:14 PM
6

Thank you for your support, it means a lot to me! No one should experience this at all! You have to wonder if men are humans or some wild awful animals sometimes🤔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 03:12 PM
7

I try to tell myself I was young, just a teenager that didnt know any better because no one told me and learned me this. People would describe me as naive if you asked them at that time what kind of person I was. I feel naive is the wrong word, but at the same time a little bit true. I have always wanted to believe there is somewhat any good in every one, and my abusers had and still have mental health issues, and since I had it as well, I knew how hard it could be and I wanted to be someone the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:33 PM
10

I have met some of them, a lot of old friends (glad they are OLD friends now), have said to me that if their woman got raped, they would dump her because they couldnt stand the thought of knowing another man was inside her. I was like "what the actual fuck", but I got so paralyzed when I heard it and wasnt able to say anything. They were supposed to be my friends, and while they didnt know my trauma, only saying that, as a group of males with one woman is disgusting. Even saying it and believing…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:24 PM
9

I feel you, I was the same years ago. I find it really hard to trust men in general, even when I have a boyfriend now. I have kind of decided to not share my trauma anymore with anyone, enough people close to me know what happened, and I dont see the point in sharing it anymore. If me and my boyfriend ended it one day, and I found a new boyfriend, I would never tell him my trauma. He could be a HVM, but at this point I dont feel I benefit at all if I share my trauma to people IRL. It is a huge r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:17 PM
7

What makes me sad about this, is when I wrote it, it felt like I was talking about the weather. If a LVM chats me and try to manipulate me to share, I just think "oh not again". Sometimes I wonder if I have seen some of the worst sides of men, and it doesnt surprise me more that some men are like this at all. I find myself ask a lot where that darkness come from, what made them like that? I could never believe that anyone would think my trauma was a turn on for them, so actually experiencing it …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:13 PM
9

I feel if I had know FDS years ago, things would be different. On the other hand, those experiences has learned me a lot, while at the same time I find myself sad for that I had to experience them. If I hadnt experienced it, I wouldnt be the person I am today (a lot of therapy has given me a lot of time to reflect) and maybe I wouldnt have known about FDS at all. If I am silent, they get away and can hurt another women. If I speak up, I would be more than happy if just 1 person read my comment a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 02:04 PM
20

Its sickening how some men are knowingly looking after women with some kind of trauma they can abuse because they believe the women are wounded. Somehow, it justifies for those men that if a woman has a trauma, its okay to abuse her. I agree. I only shared with my current boyfriend now because I couldnt hide the fact that it had happened due to the ptsd symptoms showing, and after a while I started to go to therapy to prosess everything. I believe he is the only I have showed romanticly interest…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:56 PM
8

For me its that I am not sure if I get the support I need to have a child, from the father. Would the father stay or leave, would the father support me financially or just bail? Would the father be a father to the kid or not? I havent decided if I want a kid yet, I feel like if I get one, I am gonna be trapped rest of my life. Once I become a mom, I cannot just not be a mom. I dont want my whole identity to just be a mom. The fact is also that I am scared as hell for pregnancy, birth, change and…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:53 AM
270

at any cost, avoid sharing as much as possible if you have any childhood trauma, or any trauma at all unless its really necessary. i told my ex boyfriend that i got raped at an early stage, turned out he started to fetishise it and wanted to re create the events i experienced because «he was so jealous that my rapist could do those things and not him». my mistake was to trust to soon without knowing the dude, believing sharing early would be a good thing. now i have told my current boyfriend abo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 01:27 AM
21

«YoU kInK sHaMe Me I cAnT cOnTrOl It» men who gets pissed because their girlfriend isnt into what they define as poly, to guiltrip the girlfriend to agree with being poly so they can cheat around as they want:)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/21 12:03 AM
13

While I know this is really unacceptable behaviour from your co workers and your boss, I also know that just because you are woman, you can lose your job by telling about this to your boss. Normally I would advise you to tell your boss about the situation. Before you choose to do this, figure as much as you can about your rights. Your mentors did on purpose sabotage you, to keep you down and more dependent on them. Do you have the possibility to consult with a laywer about this, because by not t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 10:06 PM
17

The face on this meme fits perfectly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:03 PM
2

Yeah, seems like there are some LVM schools around😂 For real tho, I must say, those LVM are so lazy that they dont even come up with new tricks, they just use each others, which makes it simpler for us women to see them for what they are. Thank you so much, you as well are an amazing woman and just by joining this sub and sharing your experiences like others here, you have already become more powerful than those LVM can just dream to be. You are uniqe and amazing, never forget that💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/21 09:01 PM
2

Ohh, its almost like you are talking about my ex boyfriends. Its surprising how similar the abusers act towards the abused one. The first one rushed the relationship, lovebombed, was very jealous but he made it seem cute and protecting. Talked about a future with me etc. He knew I was insecure so he knew how to lure me in. One day he could beat me up and yell every disgusting word he knew, and the second day he would cuddle me, show me affection, hug and kiss me and comfort me when I cried. He w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:37 AM
8

I agree with you - as a woman that has lived with an abusive mother and gotten abused by two ex boyfreinds. No one does ever "suddenly" become abusive. It was hard to realize that I ignored or missed out red flags because I didnt know better. A lot of times, I believed I over reacted, and they told me I over reacted, even when my gut told me that something is wrong. Most of my childhood involved abuse, and I dont blame myself for not knowing that some actions was wrong and what red flags are. Wh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/21 10:07 PM
40

I am the same as well! I simply cant have a sexual relationship with someone I dont love or feel comfortable with. I refuse to have sex with someone if I dont love them or feel anything for them. Sex feels so good when you have a loving, trusting partner that cares for your well being and your pleasure as well. If by saying this makes the low value men lose their shit, its fine by me!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:38 PM
27

Blaming and accusing someone for "kink shaming" is now the new way to overstep someones boundaries, and them make them feel guilty for setting boundaries.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:34 PM
5

You set boundaries for yourself, and did what was best for you. I am so happy to hear that, and more happy to hear that being single feels more free for you. What I dont understand, is how someone get turned on by watching women farting. Farting is the most normal thing people do. Cant women even fart withour being sexualized? Its like I almost give up this planet. However, this sub has given me more hope that not everything is fucked up. Back to the point here. I dont understand why he got angr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 11:30 PM
24

Three years ago, I felt so shitty with myself, was depressed and started to develop suicidal thoughts. My ex, didnt care for me, he was too busy gaming and yelling all night. I was stressed out about everything, I wanted to move out and told him, but he had to just make me seem like the bad person because I wanted my own place, and not live in his parents basement. He never showed affection towards me, he was cold and came and took whatever he wanted from me. Then I got out, broke up with him, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 03:18 AM
17

«fuck like a pornstar» does he mean that a third person steps in, like his brother or sister or his friend? Or does he mean that he is going to rape, do violent acts and choke you and continue even if you cry? 🚩🚩🚩🚩
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:26 PM
6

Its ridiciolus really. One day they say one thing, the next day they say something else. They have had control over women for so long, and they still thought they could continue their games with us. They got used to having control and make women feel insecure so that she became dependent on the man. The second a woman puts her foot down and tell them enough is enough, its like they have seen this monster because they get so shocked. Then they get angry at us because we figured it all out. If the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:19 PM
7

My mom knew what my stepdad did to me, but didnt do anything to stop it. She is a big «pickme» woman, and has always chose her men before us children. Then she blames me for anything, while her men are so perfect - even when they hit me and sexually abused me (not the same man did this, speaking of two different men). Its really disgusting of them to do such thing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 08:02 PM
7

They refuse to aknowledge what they did, get «offended» when we call out their bullshit, tell us we are overreacting and downplays our feelings, and want us to comfort them and start us to think something is wrong with US. Not this time LVM. They have gotten away for too long, and now since more women learns about FDS, it will get harder for them to play with us anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:59 PM
7

Typical of them to get «offended» and make you feel guilty for things they did to you. LVM logic. When they tell you you are overreacting, its 99,9% chance that you are not. They just want to downplay your feelings to make you feel something is wrong with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:57 PM
10

I feel this year has been very different than others. So much has happened, for instance that Pornhub has faced some consequenses for profiting on rape, child sexual abuse and trafficking. People have spoken up more, more women have gotten to know FDS and learned a lot, myself included. Those LVM thought they could make us silent, but havent we women seen that men underestimates us A LOT? They think we ruined and «censored» their porn, pissed off because victims spoke up and told the truth. Now …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 07:55 PM
15

Thank you dear, I am much better now, live close with my family and have a loving boyfriend that sees my worth and treats me really good. I try to see it as a experience I can learn by, and try to use it to help others that are in similar situations.💗
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:35 PM
30

Thank you dear, I am doing much better now. By realizing all this, I took action to heal with therapy and to learn by it. I try to see it as a learing experience, and try to use the experiences to help others in similar situations. By sharing it, I believe we help others speak up and less people feel ashamed for something that traumatic that happened with them. Those LVM are not going to make us silent😉
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:32 PM
6

Those men think women wants them because their pictures shows that they have money, a good job and are successed in life. Just a lie to trap women to be in a relationship with them. Its like they think that "if I show off myself with exspensive stuff, all women will want me, all women care about is money". Then when they get dumped because the woman realized that he lied about his life, they claim all women are golddiggers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:24 PM
67

My last ex boyfriend was a LVM, didnt understand it until some years being with him. Got abusive, sat all day and night gaming on his computer. One day he raped me while I was sleeping, I woke up and froze. Afterwards, he told me "maybe the next time I am gonna fuck you while you sleep, I am gonna make you pregnant and you wouldnt know, until it is too late to take abortion. Then you are stuck with me, forever." He knew my birthcontrol started to stop function, because I had it for almost 3 year…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:19 PM
1

Gonna save this comment. This comment alone has learned me A LOT of red flags to look out for. Thank you so much for sharing this. This is the best thing I have read that explains how porn addicts acts and uses good examples.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:39 AM
12

I have been very careful with sharing details about my rape. One thing is to share to someone close that I got raped, another thing is to describe the actual rape. Before I learned my lession, I had men writing to me, obviously they tried to prey on me, and asked about my rape because «they wanted to comfort me» and told me it was «important to talk about it». I never shared everything at once, I had this bad feeling and felt creeped out, but I was a naive girl at that time and wanted to give pe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 03:18 AM
14

My exboyfriend used to spend thousands on gaming stuff, like a new chair, headset, spend real money to get special items in games etc. He sat up all day and night, only gamed. When I tried to talk to him, he got angry and yelled «shut the fuck up» to me, so I stopped talking to him. When he lost a match, he would throw his equqment (?) into the walls or the floor, while he screamed so loud. Sometimes, hw would pause a game, to approach me to only have sex; and I wouldnt dare to refuse him or els…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 02:48 AM
4

Sometimes when guys ask me this, I have answered "what can you give / offer me?". Then they have responded with things like "good sex all day and spoil you with my money, a big house" etc. A big house where you may expect me to clean up for you, have to make dinner to you while you do the minimal, and if we argue you are gonna buy something to make me forgive you? I just slowly remove myself from the person because most of the time, their answers are red flags and I dont want to give them info a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:53 PM
13

I think paypal took action way before Mastercars and Visa, I am not sure but I believe that I read that somewhere. Again, I am not sure so if this is wrong please inform me if that is the case.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:43 PM
5

my first ex cheated a lot on me, he was playing me a long time. while he hooked up with other girls, he expected me to wait for him and tolerate his bullshit. if i had cheated on him, or even looked at a guy too long, he would make sure to give me a lot of hell imidiately. dudes expect a girl to be loyal and commited to them like they are some kind of a wife while they are just fooling around with houndred others because tHeY hAvE NeEdS,,,,
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:38 PM
4

I think he had, still has, some serious issues with himself. He used to get jealous of my first ex (which was abusive as well). I never really shared details, this one snooped around my room when I wasnt there, found my diary and read it. He found out the details from my private diary, and used it against me and was all like «why is it fair for you to decide you are never gonna do it again when I havent even tried that at all?». I was a naive teenager at that time, and didnt knew any better. How…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 09:19 PM
1

Its easier for an abuser to control a woman if she has little or no family members in her life, the abuser wouldnt have any problem with isolating her, control her and manipulate her. Surprises me how open some men are about things that obviously are red flags, and most people doesnt see through their bullshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:09 PM
8

One time, my ex boyfriend learned that someone tried to rape me at a party. I got away safely, but he got pissed off and blamed me for it, told me if I just stayed home and didnt drink, it would never have happened at the first place. The day after, he throws himself over me, I froze because I was traumatized and the incident the day before triggered my PTSD from earlier trauma. I just laied there, I froze and wasnt able to speak or do anything. He never watched me in the eyes, he just continued…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 07:05 PM
26

This is the beginning of Pornhubs end, and definetly Mindgeeks end. Because of traffickinghub, they now start to see consequences from profiting from rape and abusive acts, and child sexual abuse material on their site. I just hope that they eventually have to face charges for the damages they have done. 2020 has been a weird year, but who would imagine that Pornhub would start to see real consequences, and experience the start of their end as a site? Porn has nothing to do with sex and relation…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/12/20 06:54 PM
9

My first experience with sex was that sex was supposed to be violent, painful, the guy could do whatever he wanted, I didnt matter. In other words - rape. He would watch porn, and I noticed that when he used porn more, he got inlufenced by it and wanted to do the acts he had seen on porn. It was brutal stuff, I told him no. He ended up with raping me, and he did all the stuff he had seen in porn, he chocked me more and more. He smiled when I was hurt at the beginning, because he told me that rem…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 09:07 PM
1

Thank you so much dear❤️ I must admit, I feel kinda proud of myself tho, being in therapy and all. Im the first one in my family that has done that. I remember thinking thah if I had a child, I wouldnt let it live in thise conditions and experience abuse like its normal. I was inexperienced, young and naive. Didnt know better myself. After a while, I started to see the patterns and have since then worked a lot with myself to become better. No way I am going to expose an innocent child for this. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/11/20 03:08 PM
25

My mother learned me during my childhood that the red flags was a normal thing, since she was one of those «pick me» women, and had multiple relationships and marriages with abusive men. That fucked me up hard, because when I experienced the first abusive boyfriend, I didnt know what the red flags were because they were normalized. She also prioritized her men before her children, and started to abuse us as well, and didnt step in when her boyfriends/husbands abused us as well. After two abusive…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 09:15 PM
3

OP here. I have read every single comment here, and its heartbreaking to see how so many have experienced this, and for some to first realize they have been groomed after reading this post. I want to tell every single one here that it was never your fault, you never asked for it, you didnt do anything wrong, most of you were children that didnt knew how evil some can be. During most of my childhood, I have experienced grooming. In real life and online. It started first when I was 10 years old, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/20 12:27 PM
38

I remember moviestarplanet had this big issue with pedophiles. I completely agree with you, porn has fried their brains so hard that they end up searching, looking for children to groom. I hope this issue gets talked about more than it did before, because its still happening and some parents are shit with checking on their children. I wished my mother followed me more up when I was younger, maybe I had avoided it. Fuck porn. Ruins everything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:46 PM
19

I remember kik, that was the worst for me. Suddenly a man could send me a pic out of the blue. I was 14 and naive, posted my kik name on instagram and used all those hashtags. Then under 10 minutes, I had around 20 messages from men that sent pics, wanted to sext and prey on me. This was almost 10 years ago, ugh. But I also remember Omegle, it shocks me that Omegle are still up running and there are people there still able to groom children. Where are the moderators?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:31 PM
10

The link to the whole thread is here if anyone wants to check it out; https://twitter.com/terfalicious/status/1299863533182689280?s=21
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 04:18 PM
6

How can they even compare sex toys with sex dolls? Sex toys can be used to improve someones sexlife, and I think that for women especially, its hard to climax because we need good time with foreplay and that a lot om men in general dont take time to listen to their partner or get offended if their partner doesnt climax (ruins their ego I guess). Fleshlight can be a good tool to use if a man struggles with masturbation due to «death grip», to make climaxing easier and not as harmful compared to m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/20 08:18 AM
6

Imagine if this was a man complaining about his girlfriend / wife watching porn because "its a simple urge to watch so easily available and usually young mens bodies" and the other men commented on that. Responses would been like "dont accept this, she objectifies men, she doesnt care about your feelings, dump her!" or something like that. The irony tho
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 08:18 PM
52

Big red flag in my opinion if a man wants a sexdoll. A thing that he can do whatever he wants to do with it, no one to stop him doing it, can act out all the fantasies he has, most likely got inspired by heavy porn usage. He doesnt have to care about the "needs and wellbeing" with a doll as they have to do with a real woman. All that matters to him is that his needs is getting fulfilled, no one can stop him. A man that wants to be with a woman, is a man that actually cares for her well being in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/20 08:10 PM
16

In my opinion, I experienced that when I wore more sweats in class or in general, those were situations I was more confident with myself. When I was a teenager (now 23), I used to always dress myself elegant, classy and pretty because I wanted to impress boys. Now I dress myself pretty, elegant and classy so I can feel good with my self. Confidence is the thing that is really attractive, I dont have to spend thousands of dollars for some dudes that might like to enjoy see me with nice clothes. I…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/09/20 09:34 AM
6

This makes me happy to see, because I had a longterm birth controll, the kind you have in your arm (dont know the english word for it). When I met my current boyfriend 2 years ago, my longterm birth controll had been in my arm for 3 years, and I was unsure if it was safe to have sex without condom. Even tho both me and him hate condom, he didnt have any problem using it while I waited to get a new one (he never asked me to, I wanted to do it myself. It makes me more comfortable and not anxious a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/20 08:24 AM
4

I know. If he wants to say that being crazy means lifelong PTSD diagnosis because of what he did, then sure I am crazy. However, I wonder who is more crazy between me and him, because when I confronted him with that he had raped and abused me, he tried to hit me with his car on purpose - it was just pure luck he didnt, because I was so close to getting hitted with his car. And the speed he had would have killed me. But yeah, I am the crazy one, no doubt about that, right? (sarcasm if anyone wond…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 11:54 AM
2

I heard about that case, I couldnt believe it when I first heard it! I thought that it must be a really sick joke - until I found out it wasnt. I mean, how can someone say that «20 min of some action» (if i remember correctly?) would ruin his life due to how good he was at sports, but NOT considerate how «those 20 min» ruined the victims life possibly forever? I heard those who found them, struggled to get him off as well? And he STILL got away that easily. Its a joke. People wonder why victims …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 07:56 PM
1

I heard the US has a lot of issues with rape cases, and rapekits not even investigated. That horrified me when I first read about it. Normally, we pay laywers - I believe we get the expences covered if we have earned less income in a year (we have a limit for that, so that people who cant afford laywers can get legal help as much as people who can afford it), or the expences get covered if the case is something like abuse, rape or other cases that are serious and really harming a persons well be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 06:44 PM
38

I may be crazy in my ex boyfriends eyes, but at least, I am not a rapist like he is. Wouldnt had ended up "crazy" if he just knew how to behave with women in general and not rape them because his needs are more important than the womans well being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/06/20 06:37 PM
8

Thank you for your support! I have a laywer which I contacted, and have sent her evidence from chatlogs between me and my rapist. She also had papers about my PTSD and how my EMDR treatment was. She seems to be a very good one as well, and in Norway, the country pays for a laywer in cases of rape, domestic abuse etc. The police officier gave me her private number, and told me to reach out whenever. I have done that a few times and she always gives me tips and advice. As long she is the one to qu…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 04:57 PM
47

I want Norway to get the same law of consent as Sweden has. The police here almost never charge someone for rape here, which saddens me. Women wont report it to the police either because they dont do anything about it. Most rapes happenes between people the victim trusts, few or no vitnesses. The statistic in Norway where they show how many got raped from a period from 2010 - 2019 doesnt show the real numbers, because there are A LOT of victims that never reported it. I am one of the hidden numb…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 02:52 PM
3

I love this post so much!! You are 21 yearls old, which means the whole life awaits you! I can relate to a lot of the things you say in the post. I experienced a lot of abuse because I wanted to know what «love» and «affection» was. a man beating me whenever i said no isnt love, i didnt deserve that and neither did you. I feel Im in the same recovering phase as you. I now live with a man that has never disrespected me, and values me as a woman I am and will become. Im 22 years old. I am certain …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 01:50 AM
1

i was shocked to begin with because i told him how my first ex was, and then my second was like «well what about me then? it hurts me that if i want to try things and you never want to because you already tried it with someone else? did you do it because you felt bad for him?» and shit like that. then he felt he «had to prove himself» to me to show he could be better than my first rapist. one time, i just screamed into his face «why the fucking hell do you compare yourself with a fucking rapist?…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/20 11:46 AM
7

my first boyfriend raped me, and while i had trauma and got to therapy a little while, my second boyfriend had «insecurities» of him self, because i didnt want to do certain acts with him. he later read my journal without my knowledge, and found out that my rapist had done those certain acts with me (because he was a rapist). rather than comforting me with trauma, he had to make it about him self, how insecure he was because i had «a partner» before him. that i was more experienced than him. he …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/03/20 08:46 PM
6

i struggle with this as well. i also have severve ptsd due to rape and sexual trauma. when i first got ptsd, i acted out very sexual and let men do whatever they wanted with me because i didnt matter anyway. i was a property. this made me get raped again after my first trauma. i didnt knew i had a value as a person, and that my sexual needs were important. the only reason i excisted was because i had to please the male. i started to go to therapy last year, in october. i started with emdr therap…
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/19 10:00 AM
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