«Men will sexualize us anyway so why cant we earn money off it?»

Platipus6 · 2021-10-07T07:29:54+00:00

It's a gross cycle and neither end of it benefits women.

Objectifying women -> women can be bought (by men) -> women are objects -> objects can be bought.

Men don't exactly treat objects very well.

poppinkitty · 2021-10-07T07:25:46+00:00

Women need to consider the fact that objectification is detrimental to our mental health. It doesn't matter if we are sexualizing ourselves or its men who are doing to us. Bottom line is it's not healthy.

K0rla · 2021-10-07T07:55:38+00:00

I’ve been in similar debates and it is ridiculous how some women think there will be a power shift if they shake their ass hard enough in front of men’s faces. Of course they saw women’s “erotic capital” as something empowering. Objectification and commodification of women’s bodies has literally happened al throughout history, when did it apparently become advantageous for women?!

lilac-hiraeth · 2021-10-07T13:55:51+00:00

Because it’s not about men. Once again the focus is on men’s bad behavior and women scrambling in a million different directions to mitigate it. Women need to learn to put themselves first. Heal their self esteem and gain access to the fact that their being is inherently precious and for their benefit only.

Why can’t we profit off it? Firstly, for yourself. Really consider is doing sex work something that is healthy. It’s a yes or a no, and it’s a no. It is not healthy to put yourself on display and cut yourself down to a sexual toy for a complete stranger for very little monetary gain. The incentive falls so far off the face of the planet it could never compensate for what is given up to make that $30.

Secondly for all the women who are enduring violence at the hands of sex work. When we keep finding avenues to sugar coat abuse against some women it makes it possible to disregard women with less privilege but in much more physically dangerous situations. “Legalize sex work!” Cries the woman in front of her computer. At the same time a woman relying on sex work to feed her children is getting beaten in the backseat of some John’s car for $15. Normalizing sex work perpetuates horrific abuses against women not as privileged to be “working” in the safety of their apartments.

Thirdly, for all the children and teens who will become exposed to the content because it’s all too easy to access. They will grow up with very distorted views on how to treat women and the cycle will repeat. Men sexualize us anyway, so let’s not make it easier for them. Challenge them to stop.

melodicamagica · 2021-10-07T13:29:58+00:00

Sure, men are going to sexualize us anyway, but it doesn’t mean we should put our bodies up for sale. I don’t understand that logic at all. I think it’s creepy that random men probably want to see me naked/ use me to get an orgasm but it doesn’t make it any better if I say “okay. Pay me”

ExistentialJelly · 2021-10-07T14:55:04+00:00

I always say to these types to say this to the women and children forced in to sex work.

Tell them how empowering it is when they were sold at 9 to a brothel so their parents could afford food for another month for their other children.

Tell the women kidnapped under the guise of becoming a model and forced in to prostitution.

Tell the 13 year old girls in Asian countries who are made to strip for the old perverts who visit the bar they work at. Let them know how empowered they are when pregnant with one of those creep's child as a teen. At least they got a cut, right?

And let the women who were secretly filmed during what they thought was an intimate moment with a partner know how empowering it is when it gets shared and they are scorned for being a slut. How empowered they are when they can't get a good career or maintain a healthy friendship because that video is floating around.

she_is_munchkins · 2021-10-07T09:12:21+00:00

In my country there was a series of interviews held with a local Only Fans star, across different radio stations. I listened to her explain her story and her reasons for getting into porn. She explained that she came from poverty and that this was an easy way for her to climb out of it; she was also able to lift her family out of poverty with the money she earned. She mentioned plans of using this money to create something sustainable, as she knows her looks will eventually fade.

I felt sad for her and angry that life kinda pushed her into this situation, but at the same time I was happy for her that she was fighting her way out of that corner. Yes we can argue that she could've rather pursued other non-sexual avenues to climb out of poverty, but she saw a quick way out and she took it. I won't fault her for that. Poverty is inherently violent and dehumanizing, especially for women. It's very easy to judge sex workers when you're coming from a place of privilege and opportunities.

I don't encourage sex work, but neither will I judge women that feel they need to lean into the depravity of men to survive. Sometimes it is the only power a woman can have in a very patriarchal world.

I guess the broader conversation should be around finding real ways to empower women who are faced with these shitty options in life, and opening up similar resources and opportunities to women across different social classes.

queeninprogress · 2021-10-07T13:21:34+00:00

I hate this argument because it almost implies that we HAVE to be sexually available to men in some way, that there's no escape, so just accept it. We don't HAVE to cater to them in any way, be it through marriage, relationships, hookups, prostitution, anything. Access to our bodies is not inevitable, or should not be anyway. Poor women deserve to be able to safeguard their bodies just as much as financially better off women, which is why I will always be critical of the sex industry.

hensbanex · 2021-10-07T12:22:24+00:00

sounds like you got through to her, good on you!

iaintgonnacallyou · 2021-10-07T11:47:19+00:00

This is the #1 argument I’ve seen from sex workers and pickmes. They think it’s claiming their “power” back. If you have to rely on a man for your power, it isn’t real.

EffectiveHoneydew422 · 2021-10-07T10:43:51+00:00

no matter how many girls go on only fans, the sex work industry will never profit women more than men and will never benefit women more than men. ever. Full Stop. The Libfem "empowered women" trope is propaganda invented by men to benefit men, and oppress women. They are terrified about the collapsing Patriarchy and its all a desperate last ditch attempt to cling to their former power. The Patriarchy is Falling. This is the beginning of The End. I see it everyday. One day it will landslide.

slayeroftruth · 2021-10-07T17:32:48+00:00

This is why propaganda is so effective. They never know or think of harsh reality. Prostitutes have very high rate of PTSD and is target quit a bit for serial killers. Women in porn have mental and physical issues after doing it if they didn't before. They don't make money. If they do its doing stuff that damages your body. I'm sure women doing online stuff like only fans and cam girl have weird men who have unhealthy obsession. We all know how bad that turns out. We live in society that encourages and punishes women for having job that centers being sexualized. All of it is bad for your health.

shedipity · 2021-10-07T09:17:01+00:00

I personally like to avoid being sexualised at all costs but pickmes like to profit off of it and invite it. No thanks it makes me WAY too uncomfortable and I respect myself and my image!! You gain NO power from being sexualised willingly, just attention (and a lot worse) from the worst types of men.

mshandherwrist · 2021-10-07T08:31:26+00:00

what annoys me the most is that women who say this think or claim to be liberal/leftist, when this is nothing but the most conservative thought to exist. By doing nothing to oppose the systems in society that uphold women as objects such as the sex industry, and instead deciding to play along with the oppressive system in question, you are conserving the notion that women are objects of sexual desire made for the sexual (or otherwise) pleasure of man. To hold this belief but also consider yourself someone who cares about justice for marginalised groups is to be nothing but a stinking hypocrite.

thatsmisswitchtoyou · 2021-10-07T12:19:23+00:00

I can't stand this mindset and argument. It aligns with the basic thought that you should just lower your standards because men won't meet then anyway, so why not just settle. That whole mindset is flawed and destructive for not just the women maintain it, but for those of us who don't. It justifies the idea that women are objects that can be bought for sexual gratification across the board.

I can't understand that women really think this is empowering. You bring up an excellent point about the pandemic and job losses pushing people into a corner. We also have companies not wanting to pay people a fair wage which will also play a pretty big role, I think. I sometimes struggle with the fact that this delusional thinking exists..

Moon_light239 · 2021-10-07T12:46:32+00:00

Their mindset is essentially, well if you can't beat the patriarchy, join the patriarchy. Which is a very defeatist mindset IMO

Emergency-Feed8216 · 2021-10-07T16:15:16+00:00

The commenter gave the "rather be hung for a sheep than a lamb" rationale. The idea is that there's an equal risk of being hung either way, but statistics don't show that. Sex work is generally more dangerous and scarring than, say, being a pharmacist, lawyer, account manager, politician, shoe designer, etc. Not that any woman lives without risk but it's a matter of degree.

InaneObservations · 2021-10-07T16:22:05+00:00

"Why put in the work of being a sexy lawyer or software developer making 6 figures, when you can be a two bit hooker and make $50?"

OnlyFans Logic

Title	«Men will sexualize us anyway so why cant we earn money off it?»
Author	sjefsiljuuus
Upvotes	540
Comments	58
Date	October 7, 2021 6:35 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/q334j7/men_will_sexualize_us_anyway_so_why_cant_we_earn/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/men-will-sexualize-us-anyway-so-why-cant-we-earn.1076946 https://theredarchive.com/post/1076946

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