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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

DISCUSSIONuselesssdata/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:42 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

Thank you! I will do so this evening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 03:51 PM
1

I never wrote an apology - people have mentioned this before, but I've never tried it. Maybe I should. I think I'm consumed with too much resentment and hatred for him right now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:48 AM
3

Thank you. I just feel like I should have moved closer to being "done" by now, I'm getting impatient. I would even like to let go of the negative feelings towards him, I just want to have the time fly by where he or the hurt/hate doesn't even cross my mind at all for months and months. I yearn for that. I've been in therapy and I know what I'm supposed to be doing on that front but somehow I'm just at an impasse. I may look into a life coach, tbh. How did you find one that you knew would work fo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:44 AM
14

I'm so grateful for having worked as a nanny through college. It was a huge eye opener - and I was getting paid for it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:41 AM
29

Honestly! The biggest lie ever told was that single/childless women were miserable. Ha! You thought.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:40 AM
4

Yeah, forget that. 80 short years (give or take) on this planet and having to deal with that every single day? For fucking what? No thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/21 12:39 AM
12

Absolutely. If every or most males are socialized to lack empathy, then I'm sorry but that's not nurture, that's nature. Culture has never been that thorough. Nature always is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 10:03 PM
2

I've written out my revenge, I've even acted some of it out (nothing serious and it did make me feel temporarily better, until it didn't). I've moved to a new state, revamped my career, worked on my physical self, I've made future plans but I still feel... Stuck? And I realized the other day I am unable to move on because part of me is plain unwilling to do so. I feel like there was an injustice and that I'm frozen here until his wrong are corrected. Either by my hands or the doing of the univer…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 04:26 PM
26

I agree with you OP. Also, men define themselves as being first and foremost "not a female". And this isn't an identity, it's a lack of one. You see this in early childhood, too. My work has me interacting with a variety of young boys and I'm not entirely convinced that this is purely a socialization problem. I think it stems from something deeper. When your entire identity revolves around what you're not (in this case, "not a girl") then everything you do has to affirm that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 03:27 PM
9

Can someone tell what the actual fuck is wrong with me? It's been over a year and I still don't feel healed from my relationship/situationship with a narcissist LVM. I ended up finding out after the fact that he was engaged and just using me the whole time. I don't want him back. At all. If he came back to me today I would not do it in a million years. He has few redeeming qualities. He's awkward, manipulative, mean, not funny, robotic, unoriginal, low intelligence, and emotionally a toddler. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 02:41 PM
14

I like your phrase better, actually. But I think I was so deep into my pick-me mode that I would've somehow managed to tell myself "Well, I better find out a way to make him want to do this thing!" Lol. I needed some seriously tough words to snap out of it. But I do think your phrase is more appropriate to be broadcasting to women at large.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 10:30 PM
36

"He's just not that into you" forced me to stop lying to myself and romanticizing the situation but I get why it can be a troublesome way to phrase things.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 08:27 PM
1

Blame? We should be congratulated for being responsible about it. This world is not entitled to my children.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:30 AM
3

I call BS on the entire notion of "emotional suppression". I just think that their emotions aren't there in enough volume to be suppressed in the first place, but of course the default for them is to externalize all their issues. I just don't buy the whole "I wasn't allowed to express my emotions" schtick, sorry not sorry.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:24 AM
8

Understood. What if he's got less than 20 followers, all of whom are colleagues and a few friends. And only 1 photo posted - but he follows different accounts every week (mostly related to his work). Is there an excuse then? Is "it's just a lurker account" "it's just for work" acceptable? ETA Nevermind I know the answer. If he can follow other accounts but not his gf's, that's a problem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:19 AM
5

Is there ever a reasonable excuse for a guy not to follow his girlfriend on Instagram if they are both somewhat active on it? (following/liking pics?) The situation: A nearly middle-aged male with a private account who doesn't post pics, but follows and likes pics every day, who does not follow and is not followed by his live-in gf, whose profile is public, but doesn't post any pics anymore (since the start of the relationship, but also likes and follows people). Is this situation reasonable in …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 08:28 PM
4

Agree. But when it's not a series of tests to complete, it just feels like I'm on the lookout for the inevitable red flags. Oh well. I'm happier being single now.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:14 PM
3

She doesn't, she's actually a very sweet and well-liked person and I'm fighting the urge to warn her, but I won't. I don't know her personally. He's so dysfunctional that I don't think they'll make it. From what I know of her, she's got a great, supportive family and that will scare him off eventually. They're not even following each other on social media - either she doesn't know he has one or he's trying to hide her. Either way - he'll tank this thing all by himself. She will be okay. He won't…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:09 PM
7

Has anyone ever found out that they've been the "side chick" all along? I just found out that my ex who I was with (on/off) for 2 years had been engaged the entire time and just bought a house with her. I thought I had been healed from that relationship but now all these old, angry feelings have come rushing back. Mostly, I'm just feeling really, really angry and shocked. Like an old wound was reopened or like I'm reliving the breakup again. But hey, everything about that confusing relationship …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:42 AM
25

This is what essentially happened with the last person I was dating. He'd randomly disappear and to me it seemed like a "hot and cold" game but later on I found out he was in a long term relationship and popped into my life when he was feeling aggressive and wanting to get control over her, then he'd drop hints about me to her, she'd get angry and threaten to leave, so then he'd vanish from my life. But to me, being completely unaware of her, it just looked like a confused guy blowing hot and co…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:34 AM
16

It's almost like there's literally no way to win with them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:30 AM
26

I've been the worst offender at all of these. It's actually quite painful to think back on. I've made so many mistakes and now that I realize all of them, I'm completely burned out on dating and don't even care anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 04:25 AM
13

I'm glad this thread is back <3 I like these casual chit-chat stickies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:38 PM
4

Sadly not at all surprising, though. Men who are born into extreme wealth tend to be worse than average, in my experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 10:37 PM
10

Thank you for taking the time to write this! I love this sub because it constantly reminds me that I am not alone in my thoughts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/21 06:41 AM
9

Narcissists tend to feel personally offended when reality interrupts their projected fantasies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/21 07:32 PM
1

To be a Western male in 2021 is literally to be a walking daddy issue.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 04:44 PM
2

The truth is that there are MANY women who would beg and plead. Many. It's why FDS must be protected at all costs. Many women out there don't know their worth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:45 PM
1

What?!?!?! He was expecting me to try to convince him to be in a relationship with me?? After telling me he wanted to sleep with other women??? Yes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:41 PM
1

It's sadism, full stop.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 03:35 PM
36

You put this under "humor" but it's 100% FACTS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 11:17 PM
14

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 01:52 AM
6

Ughhh this really has me feeling some kind of way, especially this part But then I realized: I could understand perfectly, actually. This is what happens when you think you have glimpsed the secret pain of an emotionally constipated person — in my case, usually a straight man. You think, Here is a beautiful mystery to be solved. His prickly exterior is just a spiky carapace protecting a delicate soul from a brutal world. I feel compassion for this woman. This would've been me 5 years ago, no dou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 12:41 AM
26

Where are these drawings coming from? I see them everywhere lately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 12:36 AM
15

Yep, they've even made a new term MSM (men who have sex with men) and insist they're somehow straight even though they have gay sex. They're just inventing new realities now to pretend that they aren't gay or bi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:08 AM
2

They don't even love themselves. They are incapable of doing so for anyone else. I feel a lot of pity, tbh. Sad existence. What I think may LOOK like them loving themselves/other men, is nothing more than a narcissistic sizing up and comparing themselves to other men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/21 12:04 AM
3

Most definitely not a coincidence. I notice a lot of guys engage in "tit for tat" behavior when their ego feels threatened. It's childish, but almost always predictable for me by now. Congrats on the house!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 11:55 PM
4

What on earth? That guy is about to be sent to HR and fired, lol. It's so dumb that I wonder if he's trying to get unemployment or something. Who is this stupid?!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 08:40 PM
1

I literally have a friend who brought this idea up to me the other day. Lol. Not something I would do but I could see it happening more often.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:34 AM
53

I've never seen it, personally, but I'm open to the idea that some might feel genuine love. I think many of them just fall in "love" with whatever image of themselves their partner reflects back to them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:32 AM
7

It's really no wonder this planet is such a shitshow. Most humans are seriously messed up in the head, but what's worse is their lack of awareness of it. That's the problem.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/11/20 01:32 AM
220

Honestly. I just see mentally ill men everywhere now. I'm seriously confused.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 02:19 AM
58

Why do they ALL say this though? It's like it's out of a script. Are men humans or are they robots following some pre-programmed playbook? I really do wonder sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/11/20 05:33 PM
2

I've had two such abusive relationships in my life, and both ended up being closeted (found out after the fact - not sure how I found two of them)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/10/20 12:38 AM
47

More than one man has admitted to me that they're mentally/emotionally attracted to men but only physically attracted to women. Tbh I don't even know how that would work considering so many men are emotionally inept. Not sure how they fulfill each other in that regard. Maybe they validate each other.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 02:19 AM
65

I'll start a separate post one day if something like this doesn't go against this sub's rules. Tbh, I'm still trying to figure out the right words to open a discussion on something like this without coming across as offensive or homophobic - it's not meant to be that at all. But sometimes you just notice patterns popping up over and over as you get older and start to wonder. I know other women have wondered things along the same lines and maybe there is a deeper, honest discussion to be had abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:34 AM
84

Yep. From all walks of life, all races, people you'd never expect. It happens far, far more than I think most women realize. I actually developing a theory that most men are gay, but that's a whole other can of worms for another time and not something many are open to hearing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/10/20 12:00 AM
273

The funny thing is, many of them are secretly banging each other. A lot of this hostility towards women is just discomfort with their own sexuality.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/10/20 10:53 PM
5

Covid has definitely accelerated whatever was happening with them pre-pandemic, for sure. I feel like as a collective, they're going through some sort of mass trauma or something, and I feel sad for most of them, I do. But I personally want no part of it anymore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 03:01 AM
43

Same. I'll just be done with them completely and it won't even be much of a loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:32 AM
16

It's definitely at a whole new level, I feel like women are waking up to truths we haven't quite realized on this scale before. I'm relatively young so maybe my perspective is off but it almost seems like men are also getting..... worse? Like, actually deteriorating before our eyes at a rapid pace and it's something women can no longer ignore.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/10/20 04:30 AM
32

I mean, he was doing all the right things when you two met, right? This is no different.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 09:08 PM
1

I get that. It took me a while to get to this point, many instances of him texting and and re-ghosting for me to finally quit caring. Some of us just have to learn the hard way, lol. You'll get there, I promise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/09/20 12:14 AM
3

Thank god we found this place. I found it in a similar fashion. I fairly often sneak into lost women's inboxes in certain subs and youtube comments sections and point them to the right place. Many of them are immediately thankful!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:11 AM
1

Which subs were banned?! Other than the mainstream ones (twox, etc) I wasn't aware of many female-centered subs on reddit, let alone banned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 03:04 AM
26

lollll this makes me so gleeful. I'm over here cackling. It's spreading... the philosophy is going worldwide. This week alone, I've run into 2 different women in the wild who referred to a guy as a "Dusty". Lol, that's never happened before. I love it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 03:04 AM
2

Look up the concept of Sigils. They're abstract shapes that mean whatever the creator wants them to mean. You should look at some for inspiration and create your own. They're more powerful that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 01:05 AM
20

Sometimes it even goes beyond a lack of interest and is about active hostility... a lot of these guys seems to be very angry with women and will use any opportunity to "show her". Ignoring texts is a small way they can feel powerful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:34 AM
10

Yep, it's literally a transfer of energy, like in the most LITERAL way. He is recharged by yours and you are depleted after you give it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 12:02 AM
1

She held him all night and I can almost guarantee you he ghosted her within 48 hours of that. Men crave this type of mommying behavior but will swiftly devalue a woman after she gives in, because he feels "smothered" or "engulfed" or he gets worried that she'll think it meant something. They will demand you do this for them and then promptly be disgusted by you afterwards.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 11:58 PM
16

They don't even get that opportunity anymore with me, because I don't give them ANY reaction. Turns out, they WANT us to be dramatic and feed them that emotional response! They don't know what to do with themselves when we don't!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/09/20 08:22 PM
9

I firmly believe most of them are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/09/20 12:29 AM
41

She actually filed a restraining order against him a few weeks ago and she and her son fled to a different state. Her statement details some pretty bad abuse. He absolutely is abusive. He even livestreamed a fight they were having on Instagram where he was berating her and she ended up calling the police and had her lawyer on the phone trying to translate for her to go to a women's shelter. It seems like a very bad situation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 06:31 AM
3

Amazing! I think I joined around 45k and that wasn't too long ago. So awesome to see this place exploding in growth! I'm seeing it in real life, too! I can't overstate how much this sub has helped me in my personal development. Can I just say, women are lucky to have each other as a support system. I appreciate all of you!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/08/20 11:41 PM
2

I'm so glad I'm not the only one. So glad.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/08/20 05:41 AM
10

My former PickMe self would like a word with you. Sigh. And cringe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:42 AM
10

Ugh, same. I truly do wish I wasn't straight. My life would be a lot easier, and happier.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:36 PM
6

I guess it's been posted a couple time, here's the 2 I could find: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/i6d9qv/homosocial_tendencies_within_heterosexual_male/ https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fe1gp9/heterosexual_male_culture_is_homoerotic_reposting/
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 08:20 PM
8

I also think sometimes the mixed signals can be a hesitation to make a fool of themselves. Sometimes, if they know they can't measure up to you - either lookswise, career, intelligence, or even just confidence, a man with a huge, fragile ego is going to be unwilling to stick his neck out with you because he will always feel less than. Men tend to be focused on power dynamics and hierarchy a lot more than women are. These are the types of guys who tend to seek out women they perceive as "less" th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:29 PM
12

Sometimes uncomfortable to enforce in the moment, but always a great feeling in hindsight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:20 PM
7

I have long believed/suspected this! Where can I read more about this theory, if there is any writing on it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:15 PM
38

With as obsessed as they are with their own dicks, I am willing to bet that even the vagina would be a step too far for their ideal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:14 PM
61

Exactly! "It's okay to be gay in 2020" is my go-to response anytime I get some screed in my inbox from a user with a name like PM_ME_UR_ANUS. They stfu after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:10 PM
72

So at what point do we just accept that this is the default and not a glitch?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:08 PM
27

No, they don't. There was a fucking amazing post on here a couple weeks ago with a quote that broke down how homoerotic male friendships really are. Many men only really can care about other men, can only learn from other men, can only respect or love other men. The rest is just window dressing for them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/08/20 07:07 PM
7

Outside of family, men can only care about women they are attracted to. -FOR THE TIME BEING Even the women they are attracted to are getting the short end of the stick. It's bleak outlook for all of us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:30 AM
2

I have never been so traumatized and stressed in my LIFE as I have been over a stupid relationship. I truly don't care if it never happens again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 04:28 AM
2

What do you think guys talk about with each other? I totally agree with your comment, I'm just trying to figure out what men find fulfilling in their own personal friendships with each other, because I am at a loss.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:40 AM
2

I read this book over and over as a child and always had a weird, sick feeling about it that I couldn't explain. Even just seeing the cover triggers me, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 03:20 AM
4

I'm hoping a child wrote that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 05:30 AM
6

I honestly hate this brand because of the name. I just think "hurr durr" anytime I see it. I haven't bought any "simple human" products for that reason, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/08/20 04:15 AM
69

Always take those little "jokes" seriously. Always. It is NEVER just a joke.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/08/20 07:18 PM
1

something something lacks empathy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:38 AM
4

I agree with this theory and it matches with my experience with men - but what mystifies me is what do men actually get out of their bromances that they don't find with women? They seem so shallow and inadequate when trying to interact with women on an emotional level, but I'm trying to understand what they find so fulfilling in their bromances? Is it simply the lack of any depth that they actually like? Do men just tap into some weird narcissistic synergy with each other? What do they talk abou…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:54 AM
2

Honestly, bring the sex robots on. I don't care. Take these men out of the gene pool. Maybe women a couple generations down the line will have better to choose from when these losers finally remove themselves from selection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:32 AM
3

OMG YES. This quote is amazing. I wonder if this is simply boiled down to pure narcissism and being unable to identify with anything too unlike themselves?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 02:22 AM
2

Some of the more covert signs were - little comments he'd make here and there. He'd say things like he like to feel like the "woman" in a relationship. He'd also make comments about trans women which I know straight men can find trans women attractive but he would bring this up an unusual amount of times, to the point that I started to wonder if he was trying to provoke a reaction out of me. He'd make it a point to wonder if they had a penis or not. It was pretty frequent - he was looking for re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 09:14 PM
2

This is a good idea - even just reading what you wrote and projecting it onto him helped. I like this idea and will try it. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:57 PM
3

Thank you for the kind words, and I agree, it's definitely something deeper at play which is why it's proving so difficult to work through.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/20 08:54 PM
8

Sorry, I instinctually downvoted this. Not directed at you OP. But the pic is just too much for me, ugh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:40 PM
5

Yep. We're hip to the game now. Just replace one automaton with another. Most men are a dime a dozen and really not worth the stress.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:38 PM
4

Trying to come to terms with someone who I mistakenly fell for, but turned out to be gay and discarded me in a rather callous fashion and deprived me of any sense of closure. He doesn't know that I know, but thinking back, all the signs were there all along, and I now realize he was even trying to subtly hint it to me. Sexual orientation aside - regardless of all that, he was just not a good person towards me. Narcissistic, devalued me, constant lies and obfuscation, and a pretty sophisticated l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/06/20 09:23 PM
3

They're so oppositional. They just want the opposite of whatever the woman wants. It is VERY sadistic and scary that they think this way. It's really dark when you think about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 07:48 AM
6

Do you think they do this intentionally? Or are they already so scattered and self-centered that this inconsistency just inevitably plays out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:58 AM
3

The only thing I'm thinking when he texts me now is, "Yes! Another text I get to ignore!". And that kinda brings me joy, lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 05:27 AM
3

How long has it been since you ended it? Have you dated anyone since?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 04:42 AM
38

Is it me or does it seem like many men are just clones of each other? There's very little individuality among them beyond the surface. I say this because there's been so many instances where a woman online is describing something she's going through with a man and it sounds EXACTLY like an ex, to the point that sometimes I've had to reach out to confirm it wasnt the same person. Why does it seem like men are so.... exactly alike and predictable in such oddly specific ways? I don't observe the sa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 04:24 AM
1

Thank you!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:41 AM
1

It's not about withholding feelings, it's about not developing feelings before you know who he really is. What works for me to not get so emotionally invested upfront is to: Talk to more than one guy at any given time until things get serious. The stakes feel SO much lower when you aren't pinning all your hopes and dreams on one person. It also has the added benefit of being able to compare good behavior to bad behavior, and keep things in perspective. I find myself much less likely to excuse ba…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 03:27 AM
3

I've heard the term "Pick Me" going back a couple years on another forum. Tbh, I didn't get it at first. I interpreted it as judgmental and combative towards women. I discovered Shera recently but apparently she uses the term "Pick Me" going back a few years. If there are similar youtubers, I'd love some recommendations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 02:40 AM
3

Lol, "smart" has become such a meaningless word. Do guys even know what they mean when they say this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 02:34 AM
2

Yes, before I discovered FDS I was a major Pickmeisha and would send paragraphs, literally hundreds upon hundreds of words trying to resolve a problem when he was being distant. I just wanted us to understand each other better, I would try to explain and over-explain myself, try to understand his intentions better, etc. I was really doing all of the emotional work of the relationship myself. And 99% of the time he'd leave me on read, no response. It was incredibly painful, especially because I h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 02:30 AM
2

Not necessarily. I mean, for sure this is what happens when you've already established a pattern of endless paragraphs and suddenly stop, but I think in general it throws them for a loop when a woman just drops them without any long-winded explanations because it's so common for us to do all the communication and conflict resolution in a relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:49 AM
2

The tinder sub is one of the worst places on the internet. That sub is single-handedly responsible for me getting the fuck off OLD.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 04:00 AM
2

I tend to patrol the Youtube comment sections of horrible dating advice channels, myself. (usually hosted by men trying to advise women)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:56 AM
1

I do tend to be the party that's emotionally disconnected Are you finding that men are way more interested in you as a result?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:55 AM
2

That sounds like a pretty generic "neg" to me, like at least TRY to give a creative insult, dude.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:53 AM
2

Haha yes! Love stories like these. I, too, know a guy who is great on paper, attractive, rich, successful, superficially charming, but emotionally stunted and only interested in NSA relationships but goes about it in a deceptive way. He is perpetually single and lonely and it makes me very happy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:21 AM
1

Exactly, it's flat out a BAD idea to let a guy know how much he's hurting you because he will eat that shit up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:08 AM
2

This is actually a great idea and I might start to implement it for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:06 AM
2

You simply don't. He already knows. In fact, he's sitting there waiting for you to start sending paragraphs and will likely get a sense of power or smug satisfaction from it. Throw him for a loop and chuck the deuces. Give him total silence. Silence speaks volumes. Men pay attention to actions, not words.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 03:01 AM
5

Oh good! I didn't see her username but thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:57 PM
17

Wow. Someone go get her, please!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:03 PM
1

Op here, and I echo the other replies to you. Move on, and next time don't even question him if you're being ghosted, the silence speaks for itself. I honestly think most of these guys are so used to us reaching out to them in some sort of panic after not responding, that it might even be a reflex of theirs to pull away in order to extract more attention from us. Flip it on him and give him the silence instead. From now on, I'll not keep my eggs in one basket until I'm reasonably sure we've got …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:10 AM
12

"You already know you look good, you dont need to hear it from me"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:44 AM
13

I see small signs everywhere these days, it really seems to be the case that FDS philosophy is making its rounds
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 02:26 AM
8

lol, I love this. Filing this one away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 02:15 AM
3

Congratulations. Stick around, read, post, it really helps make these sort of things stick <3
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:11 PM
11

A guy I was starting to like ghosted me mid-conversation 10 days ago (text convo). He just went poof on me. Meanwhile, I could see he was still online doing other things. Today he suddenly sent me 6 texts in a row as if no time had passed at all. And he keeps texting me, now he's asking me a bunch of random questions because he sees I'm reading but not answering. Absurd! All you had to do was not ghost me mid-convo for 10 days, you moron. How hard is that? Before FDS I would've a) kept texting h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 11:05 PM
2

Dump him, and go actually do better with someone else while he figures out that he can't.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 02:57 PM
24

Stop responding to these guys! They are just happy to grab a shred of female attention in any way they can, and since they have nothing to offer, the only way they can do it is by antagonizing us. They literally don't care what we say to them as long as it's something. Don't give them that!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:53 AM
2

Mine was definitely avoidant (dismissive-avoidant). Good riddance, for us both.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:45 AM
7

SOME, but even then, barely.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:38 AM
2

Omg. YIKES!!!! Lol!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:37 AM
25

I'm saving this comment. This is the explanation I've been looking for regarding my own situation. Thanks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:30 AM
6

I echo the sentiments that he sounds like a narcissist. I dated one, he sounds EXACTLY like this, even down to the month of ghosting during a family illness/death. He literally just went poof on me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:28 AM
6

I always check the memberships when I visit this sub. I love to see it climb higher and higher, I am so anxious for every woman on this planet to gain the insight that there is to be had here. Anytime I feel weak-minded re:men or down on myself, I visit this sub and just read for a couple hours. Leveling up my mindset felt so unnatural a couple months ago, I was the biggest pickmeisha in existence, but a lot of the posts here have entered into my subconscious and I think and feel more confident …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/05/20 01:16 AM
1

If anyone knows with any certainty your WhatsApp activity, they're using a tracker. I'm not super proud that I had used this tracker, but it was extremely eye opening and you honestly should be careful if you think you're being tracked, it's crazy how much a bunch of timestamps can reveal about someone. Just by the time stamps, I could tell when he woke up, went to bed, when he was simply typing versus on the phone or video, I could even pick up the "argument" patterns that would precede several…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/05/20 10:39 PM
9

What triggers a man more: leaving his message on 'read' without ever responding, or not even bothering to read it and making it look as though it never was read? This is someone who I mistakenly started to get a little invested in pre-FDS - he was calculated, shady and hot/very cold, and ghosted me all the time including mid-conversation via text. He had a bunch of weird games he would play (long story, but they were definitely games) and he'd leave me on 'read' all the time. So, I realize this …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:53 PM
5

Yep! I had an ex who would constantly "disappear" for weeks on end and would hint that he's about to run off and kill himself before going radio silent on me and ignoring my calls/texts, sometimes for weeks on end. I finally had enough and found his brother via Facebook and sent him a message, and I called the suicide line to send police for a wellness check. He went from being "missing" for a couple days to immediately texting me to curse me out when his family started texting him and his landl…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 09:25 PM
9

Realizing that most of the men I dated were indistinguishable from each other aside from their names and the way they looked. I started to wonder if men just had no real individuality, or if they were all reading a certain playbook to use on women. They were just all so predictable and immature in the exact same ways. Reading online about other women's stories, it sounded like every other woman online was dating the exact same guy as I was. So at that point, I just started to become very suspici…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:47 PM
10

I used to be a pretty crazy Pickmeisha. During a rocky patch, I had downloaded a whatsapp tracker that would alert me exactly when and for how long my now-ex (then boyfriend) would be logged onto whatsapp. Everything looked pretty normal for a while after I downloaded the app, but then one day after we had a disagreement where I brought something up that he didn't like, he went into his usual silent treatment mode, and I noticed that within 10 MINUTES of our argument ending, he logged onto Whats…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:33 PM
6

The lengths they go to remain deluded and in denial is really scary. They'll change their entire personalities with a new person. It is scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 08:10 PM
4

It really does feel like that, though!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 08:57 PM
17

I've been binging on Marilyn Monroe movies lately and I absolutely love her. I haven't watched her movies until now. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel like everything I've read about her my entire life has led me to assume she was some sort of untalented bimbo, undeserving of her legacy. As if she was just a pretty drunk who got lucky in show business, or something. That's how she's always been painted for my generation. But she is a Comedienne with a capital C. She was a woman who studie…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/05/20 09:13 PM
7

No, they are incapable of introspection or self-reflection.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:35 PM
4

So my exes have checked off all categories except for "violent". Honestly, it's hard not to feel like the majority of men fit into one of these categories.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/04/20 09:30 PM
23

I know exactly who you're talking about. Unfortunately these types of articles are the norm whenever someone in the adult industry dies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 08:35 PM
11

That's rich because the reality is literally the opposite. A fetus is female in the womb until it mutates into a male. We are the default, not them. If it was the other way around, every child would be taught this in science class.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/20 12:29 AM
10

These men used to be my type. In my own experience, many of them were cerebral narcissists and had built this elitist persona as a facade for an actual personality. There didn't seem to be much going on beneath this surface presentation of "I'm a thinker, introspective, high brow, la de da" show that they were putting on. Even worse, I'm actually deeply educated in some of these topics, so whenever I'd try to have a real conversation about any of those topics with them, it was pretty clear they …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:13 PM
9

"Can't stand egotistical people" = doesn't want a woman to think highly of herself, which is the antithesis of what a HVW is. It wouldn't sit right with me, either.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/20 07:01 PM
1

Yeah, maybe that wording could use some tweaking because it really feels like no one can see your post until you're flaired. But I definitely understand the need to confirm users as female without giving away the entire plan!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:24 AM
2

I used to be one of these people, I think it's that when you're a new poster to this sub, an AutoMod sends messages anytime you post, saying that your message has been flagged reviewed and a mod will assign a flair. This happens every time a new poster posts and I think it causes confusion. At first, I thought none of my posts would be visible until I was given a flair.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 12:13 AM
11

Comedians are notorious for having issues, even they themselves tend to admit to that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/04/20 03:41 AM
5

They really will sleep with anyone, they can even consider themselves straight and be highly homophobic and still sleep with other men as long as the circumstances are right. They can remove themselves so far from any emotional component of sex, it is purely physical or an act of dominance for many of them. Hard to wrap my head around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/20 10:28 PM
5

Before I was "woke" and able to analyze why I did what I did when I found my way back to shitheads, I always thought me being drawn back to them meant there was something real there and that it was something worth working through, "true love", or some nonsense. Now as I pay attention to my thought patterns, I realize it was ALWAYS because I was stressed out about something. Either I was going through major life changes (good or bad), unfulfilled, uncertain about the future, or missing something …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 11:55 PM
12

Just want to say, I understand how it feels. The cognitive dissonance is strong in me right now. And this is NOT someone I should be thinking about in any way, shape, or form, and were it not for current events, I definitely wouldn't be. I'm pretty disgusted with myself, but thankfully have not and will not reach out. But almost did. It's making me wonder if attachment in most cases might mainly be a coping mechanism for fear or anxiety.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 02:18 AM
3

Tbh, every time I've had an inkling a guy was gay, or if he even "joked" around about how feminine he was, sooner or later I found out that he was secretly carrying on with a man behind my back. This is happened twice in my life, one with my first real relationship, and the most recent one. With the most recent one, he'd always makes jokes about how much of a woman he is (it sounds weird now but I rationalized it somehow at the time), and he was always dropping very vague hints. Going forward, a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/20 02:05 AM
34

They are more than capable of supporting other men though. My ex would vanish almost instantly whenever I ever needed any support (and I really wasn't expecting much thanks to how he managed down my expectations), yet he and his male "friend" could talk on whatsapp for literally hours and hours about god knows what. I'm actually pretty curious as to what men even say to each other. They love for women to fill the role of nurturer and carer, but can they do that for each other? What do they even …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/20 11:39 PM
1

Both. I regret it, but it made me a better person. I'm much more cynical now (with good reason) and more pessimistic about how men are. But thankfully I only had to meet one severely LVM to learn my lesson. That was enough. I think it's inevitable for most women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:38 AM
1

At best, he's just not even thinking about you at all. At worst, he's purposely trying to bait you. Think of it as a type of online negging.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:34 AM
3

Truer than most people realize!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/20 04:27 AM
14

This is normal and even healthy, especially after dealing with a disordered individual. It hasn't even been that long for you yet, Id say you're handling this fully appropriately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 09:40 PM
19

"Who is this?" 🙄😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 09:38 PM
1

Thanks, I mean, I know I have every right to be angry about what happened, I guess I'm just discouraged and confused by the lack of support Ive seen/experienced online for women in this exact situation. And I'm trying to figure out how common this phenomenon is, or if I just got really unlucky. Because there's lots of guys hiding out there like this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 09:02 PM
8

I'm not sure if this warrants an entire thread or what the reception will be, so I'll just put out some feelers here. I mean no disrespect to anyone by this post. Is it common to run into "straight men" who live life as straight men, have been married, etc but are actually covertly engaging in all kinds of gay activity? Kind of reeling from a few things I've figured out. Was in a back and forth, toxic relationship with a very LVM (high value on paper), who ended up being a typical covert narciss…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/20 08:32 PM
3

I've done this anonymously and I don't regret it. But I also made sure the message got straight to the source and he may or may not have ever found out about it. Also, I made sure enough time had passed so that it couldn't be connected to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 04:20 PM
3

Yeah I'm kinda leaning towards turning down an early date. Could be nothing at all, but idk. Plus, it'll give me a chance to see how he deals with "no" and if he cares to move it to another time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 03:34 PM
24

No. Mainly because I've tried that before and it never turned out well. They could never deal with it. They'd be resentful of it and it colored our entire relationship. This also seems to extend beyond career - if I looked substantially better, or was much smarter than him, more educated, etc he'd make me pay for it every single day. From now on, he either has to match or surpass me in those areas.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/02/20 05:09 AM
3

When I started googling his weird patterns of behavior and then realized that there were entire websites and support forums about said set of behaviors. And so many stories I read I could swear were about my ex, almost to the finest detail. It was eerie. I still wonder whether men are actually individuals, or just clones.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:46 PM
11

Ugh this rings so true but so f'n depressing. I want an equal, not a wild animal. 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/02/20 07:32 PM
2

He's a Partner in a marketing firm. Creative executive, I guess. Seems to have a lot of random meetings all over the place from what I can glean so far
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:41 PM
10

Anyone ever had a guy set up a morning date? This is a new one for me. He wanted to meet up at 11:30am tomorrow right after a meeting he has in the morning. I turned it down since I already have plans, but I also expressed ambivalence at the early time. He was like, "oh sorry, is that weird?". Not sure what to make of such an early date time. Especially since he didn't even mention what he had in mind to do.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 06:23 PM
5

It's a process but one thing I've been working on that is helping me is learning to say no to things. Learn to reject things. I was always one to say yes to pretty much everything from propositions to invitations to whatever else, I was afraid of missing out or locking out any potential opportunity. Now, if it doesn't meet a pre specified standard or expectation I've set, I just say no. It was hard at first, I'd feel guilty, but I've noticed my happiness, sense of worth, and quality of life incr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/20 12:30 AM
1

The important part here is that you feel iffy at best, badly at worst. That's all you need to know. Who cares what the "truth" is here - you don't feel good about this, for whatever reason. Honor yourself by listening to that. It's empowering. You don't have to justify it to anyone. My 2 cents... Genuinely good, healthy people do not have a gaggle of cheerleaders crowing about how great they are. That's just not normal, and it's actually a common dynamic when there are personality disorders invo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 07:10 PM
3

These people should be put on a federal watch list. Hope you reported this. Edit: and I literally just now got a sarcastic direct message from a -11 karma account haha. They're camped out here
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:43 PM
2

Sounds just like my npd ex. A thin veneer of goodness, humility, shy guy, never raised his voice, always came out of conflict like the bigger person, smelling like a rose, sweet, etc. But ultimately I figured out that this was all very deliberate, he carefully studied what NOT to do. He knew what he was and he knew what he had to do to hide it. But once you got close enough to him, it was ugly. Really, you can't assume anything about anyone if you haven't gotten close enough to see their vulnera…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 03:34 PM
36

I'm not so hopeful 😂😭 Somehow they'll find a way to blame all women and then go on killing sprees and stuff. Kidding, kinda.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:32 AM
24

Definitely trolling at this point. He's just throwing spaghetti at the wall to get you to react. I had one who would say absolutely outlandish things to me just in hopes of getting any kind of response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:27 AM
19

I'm confused. What on earth are YOU getting out of this? Reading your post, it seems like you're still coming from a place of pity. You "enjoy helping him with his problems". That sounds very unhealthy, codependent even. Who is he to you for you to be doing this for him? You're not his therapist or his mother. If you want to help, go volunteer at a shelter, become a big sister, foster an animal, help at a hospice or hospital.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:19 AM
4

My intuition has always been right, and I've always ignored it. But I'm at the point now where if my gut tells me something, I trust it, no questions asked. No need to sit down and process or dissect or ponder or wonder or get second opinions or give second chances. If I feel funny about something, that's enough. It's done, immediately.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:15 AM
5

What a mess he turned out to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 05:09 AM
25

Agreed. Sounds like a Narc to me, too. I've bee unfortunate to get very close to a few including a sibling and let me tell you, while they appear to have it all, that's only because their entire reason for being is dedicated to making it appear that way. These people live a truly sad and tortured existence. Go check out any npd sub or forum if you don't believe me. These people barely have a grip on reality and when they do manage to see things clearly, they shatter into pieces.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:59 AM
62

I was just gonna say! This has to be some new type of test or bait they're now pulling. Wtf.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/20 04:49 AM
3

Honestly the app doesn't matter. It's the same people on pretty much all of them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/20 03:50 PM
34

Stories like this kinda scare me. I haven't dated since having my eyes opened to reality and I don't think I'll be pinning anybody with the title of HVM for a long, long time. It'll need to be a few years of consistently high value behavior for that title to be earned, at least. Is that unreasonable? I just don't want to go through this type of rollercoaster anymore. Men can fake things for so long.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 11:31 PM
20

I agree but I really wonder who or what is behind the effort. We all know angry, riled up men seeking vengeance are perfect for various state/war purposes... Get them angry enough and ready to die for a "cause".... I just wonder who is behind this radicalization effort. We're living in really creepy times, tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 11:07 PM
3

Wow, I've been going into the rabbit hole on this topic since you've posted about it. Fascinating stuff. It's too bad we can't as a society have an honest conversation about this. Also makes sense why women have been subjugated for basically all of history. Men live in perpetual fear of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 07:13 PM
4

I know how you feel. I have a good friend who consistently has been in high quality relationships. But tbh, I think she has been "leveled up" her whole life. It has always been her mindset, probably because of a great upbringing and a 2 parent household that modeled a solid relationship for her. Maybe your friend is similar in that way? Either way, that type of confidence in yourself shows and really permeates every aspect of your life. I think it's just a matter of former Pickmes exercising tho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 04:10 AM
4

Interesting. And it makes sense, considering that almost every single man Ive met is a walking, talking, existential crisis.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 01:04 AM
4

This is a good enough reason. It is causing you distress and you aren't sure how to adjust your behavior to stop it. Even just wanting someone to talk to is a good enough reason to see a counselor or therapist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/02/20 12:36 AM
3

R/tinder is literally the reason I deleted my tinder account and never looked back. Absolutely cesspit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:50 PM
5

You say you're "getting it out" of your kid so I assume you see signs of it. Do you think they're born with this tendency or where does it come from. Interested in a mother's opinion on this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:46 PM
3

Lol as long as she'd be okay with him showing up to the wedding day in a white gown, for the sake of progress and "doing something different", then hey, have at it!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:26 PM
7

I agree with the posters that mention a possible mental health issue. It sounds to me like you crave validation in this manner because you are unable to supply it for yourself. This is probably a symptom of something more in general. Have you ever seen a counselor or therapist?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 10:01 PM
5

Yep these holiday/birthday temper tantrums are a classic sign of a narcissist as well (which my ex was, textbook). I used to lurk the NPD subreddit where self aware narcs would talk about why they hated holidays and special occasions and the general consensus among them is that they hate the expectation that they have to make someone else happy on those days. They hate expectations in general, but the very idea of a happy holiday instinctually makes them lash out and create drama because they ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 04:47 PM
22

Why do they hate themselves, do you think? I wonder sometimes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 02:55 AM
18

I get really frustrated thinking about all the times I reached out to him, paragraphs upon paragraphs, begging, pleading, accidental texts, throwing myself at him, "why her and not me", only for him to take advantage. All those times he would fuck up and then I'd be the one to apologize (for what, I don't know, I just wanted him to see me as non threatening and talk to me again). And he thoroughly enjoyed every second of it. I know better now but it's really painful to think about and I wish I c…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:24 AM
120

I seriously struggle to understand this mindset! The level of emptiness someone must have to feel lonely simply because they're not attached to someone creeps me out. They must have no sense of self.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:17 AM
14

Hell no. Triple hell no given than you can't ever have it removed via bankruptcy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:13 AM
23

My LVM ex would always ghost during Valentine's Day. Actually, any holiday or big occasion, he'd either get "sick", start a fight a few days prior, or just drop off the radar completely for a few days. After 3 years of this, I cut contact and blocked him Christmas. He could reach out if he really wanted to, he hasn't though. And this place is helping me be okay with that. Anyway, yesterday I heard thru the grapevine the other woman he always ran to whenever we were on the outs (his "true love"),…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/20 12:06 AM
8

I mean, it's nothing to look too deeply into. Don't take it as any serious measure on his part. Also, don't feel pressured to respond right away or turn it into a big conversation. I dated a guy who would use the good morning texts as a manipulation tactic or a way to monopolize my time. If I didn't respond in time, he'd get pissy. And he'd set up a pattern where "good morning" meant he was happy with me and no good morning meant I did something he didn't like and I had to figure out what it was…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 07:48 PM
73

Lmao. I have spent the entire day in cringe mode. Dusty men everywhere. So many wilted, single roses and drugstore chocolate boxes. I'm almost like.... Why even bother?!? What's the point?! Such a pitiful day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/02/20 04:44 AM
49

I'm beginning to suspect that most of these "she who got away" stories they tell are straight up fiction and used as a tool to manipulate you. Just a way to make the new Pickme try harder than the last one. He probably played the exact same game with her and has been unavailable and uncommitted to her as well. Probably using another previous girlfriend on her to make her insecure. I think they just play all these women off each other, while pretending they actually have the capacity to commit to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 07:05 PM
2

So this is a common phenomenon? I was seriously considering the possibility that the ex LVM had multiple personality disorder. I'm surprised this is common enough to warrant a meme.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:06 PM
23

Used to talk to a LVM that was constantly trying to size up other men in my life. He was basically trying to sniff out what type of things I put up with with other LVM, and then use it as a way to give himself leverage and seem like a better option. Super lame tactic. Once I understood why he was always asking me about my dating life, I started making things up to make it seem like I was with someone who went above and beyond. Surprise, he ghosted me, lmao!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 05:18 AM
11

Words = attention, positive or negative, validation, reaffirming their existence Silence = starving of their ego I'm of the theory that most of them are literal Narcissists. Narcissists need other people to reflect them back to themselves somehow. They don't have a real concept of self. They need attention from someone else to know they exist. It's kinda twisted stuff.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:55 AM
2

I had one do the whole song and dance about "can't feel it can't say it I'm so anxious blah blah" and then finally conceded with "I hold a lot of love for you." at that point I just knew he was trolling and withholding. I think for many of them, it's just another carrot they can wave around over your head.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:48 AM
5

This is the way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 04:45 AM
14

Tall, tortured, brooding types were my kryptonite. Ugh. Exactly like you described, they'll disarm you by immediately admitting all their past transgressions and how they're trying to be a better person, give a sob story about awful abusive ex girlfriends, wives, or parents, and the empath in you sees a good soul that laid themselves bare to you. And then they repeat the exact same cycle with you and you become the crazy ex to another woman. And if you ever call them out on their BS, they will p…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:21 AM
23

Before this sub existed, I was desperately searching for the antidote to all the toxic manosphere crap. Couldn't find anything. So glad this place came to be.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:11 AM
9

He should've just asked you on a date instead of this passive aggressive comment. Is he waiting for you to ask him somewhere? Has he asked you out yet?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/20 03:09 AM
10

Wtf. Do they do this shit on purpose or are they honestly just oblivious to everything?? Maddening.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 07:43 PM
74

Timely. I need this reminder on an hourly basis lately. It's hard. I cut off contact cold turkey with no explanation on Christmas and now I'm feeling insecure that he hasn't reached out. Logically, I know it's not a reflection of me and his silence is my answer. I refuse to once again reward his LV behavior by extending an olive branch. Their silence IS our closure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:52 PM
5

I watched some of his videos expecting to be shocked and appalled based on what I've heard about JP, but found myself agreeing with bits of what he said. But his fan base is... Ehh. I find a lot of them are deep into the manosphere and are all too happy to ultimately blame women for their problems and misconstrue/weaponize a lot of the points he's making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:47 PM
2

Thanks, makes sense. I figured it was either trying not to appear too invested, or some narcissistic/psychopathic mind game. It's just creepy to me someone would dedicate themselves to it like this. Especially since a big source of conflict with us was that he was so cold and distant. Idiot was committed to sabotaging everything the whole time. It has really messed with my mind.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 05:40 PM
3

Weird question, but this has bothered me for a while. Had anyone dealt with a guy who would purposely forget your birthday? Wasted 3 yrs on someone who every year would either get my birthday wrong by 1 day (earlier or later) and would simultaneously always get my age wrong by making me 1 year older or younger. Every year. Even with reminders. At the time I laughed it off as cute like, "ohh teehee, that's just how older guys are I guess! Bad memory! I'm glad he even remembered at all!" And he wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/02/20 03:25 AM
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